Two Hot Takes - 186: Simply so Weird.. Ft. Courtney Miller

Episode Date: October 10, 2024

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Courtney Miller from Smosh! Theres a lot of words we could use to describe these stories each week, but this week.. WEIRD is what came to mind. I mean how else would you describe someone proposing with an engagement ring from Temu? Or a stranger trying to rub your pregnant belly and pickup your 6 year old?! WEIRD.. but if you have other thoughts please do let us know!  Fill out the google form HERE if you're coming to a live show!! : https://forms.gle/9t3zgUDL1VZkvfFt7 Checkout Courtney's Content: https://www.instagram.com/co_mill/?hl=en https://linktr.ee/co_mill https://www.youtube.com/@smosh LIVE SHOW TICKETS HERE!! https://linktr.ee/twohottakestour MERCH IS ON SALE HERE ! https://shop.twohottakes.com Bonus Content on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes Basically 3 bonus eps this September!! I can't wait to see you all in these, especially at our live shows!! Our PO Box!! Two Hot Takes. 5042 Wilshire BLVD. #470. Los Angeles, CA 90036 Our SubReddit to Submit YOUR Stories!!! https://reddit.app.link/twohottakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes Partners: Dipsea:  http://dipseastories.com/tht for 30 days FREE! Mint Mobile:  http://mintmobile.com/tht for 15$ a month! Quince:  http://quince.com/tht for free shipping and 365 day returns! Robinhood: http://robinhood.com/gold 

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but maybe come see us on tour. Enjoy the episode guys. We're rolling, audio's rolling. We're not gonna have any technology, have issues today. No batteries will die. There's been stuff going on. I feel like I just, there's something in retrograde or like maybe it was a full moon

or like, I don't know what it was, but one of these last episodes, like one of the cameras died, I hit record, it didn't start. I'm just like, why are you doing this to me? Yeah, universe has been really weird. No, and it can't do it to me on your episode. Please no. Hi guys, welcome back to another episode of Too Hot Takes.

I am so excited for today's guest, Courtney Miller. Hello. Hello, hello. You are so fun. I just started learning about the Smosh universe when I had Shayne on. And I had no idea. It's so multifaceted. And you have been there 10 years now.

Just about, yeah. You act, you write, you produce. You're like a little Swiss army knife over there. I love that term. That's awesome. You do it all. Thank you. It's really fun over there. They teach you a lot. They let you learn a lot. And they really trust you a lot over there to just do stuff.

It's a little machine. Like, I... Our studio is like, it's with this one little room with like an office, and you go to Smosh and it's like, this is big time. Like, I was like, oh my God, this is... It was so surreal. So, you do great work over there.

Thank you. I really appreciate it. And this studio is adorable. I like... Not like small, like've styled it so awesomely and you said you were saying this, you're like, you want to fix this. I love it. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. New chairs. What do you think of the new chairs, guys?

I love the little wood trim. I know. To match the wall. Very cute. I was really trying to coordinate. You killed it. Really trying to coordinate. So today's theme I have, I feel like especially, you know, doing your skits you do and you guys have gotten into the Reddit stories a lot, you know weird. Oh, yeah. So today's theme is simply so weird.

Just out of an abundance of stories, just crazy variety, but they're all just weird. I love it. I cannot wait. I listened to a few episodes of your podcast cause I loved, especially when our show was like kind of getting going. I loved hearing all the different ones. Cause there's a, there's a few out there.

Yeah, there's a couple now. I really love the vibe of this one. Thank you. And you're awesome. We really try over here. You know, me, my amazing editor, we've got Jenna editing nowadays, who's coming on an episode soon.

I convinced her today. I know, so. She's being perceived. I know. I think she's like, she's sitting over there. She's like, wait, why did I agree to do this? But yeah, it's wild. Like you, I was not an internet person,

and so like hearing you've been in it for 10 years, I'm like, okay, I can do it. I can do it. Oh, yeah. I think this is amazing. You got your Patreon and all this stuff. Like, it's such a cool job that you get to do this. It's such a privilege. Like, every day I wake up and I'm like, this isn't real. I love it. And you get to wear cool jackets.

I know. I splurged a little bit. Don't yell at me, guys. Oh, please. I love it. And you get to wear cool jackets. I know. I splurged a little bit. Don't yell at me, guys. Oh, please. You deserve it. I'm feeling a little patriotic today. Register to vote. Okay. Let's get into these stories.

Love it. Let's dive in. Okay, up first, this one is coming from AITAH. It is seven hours old, very fresh, titled, Am I the Asshole for Telling My Fiance I Don't Want My Tmoo Engagement Ring? My 27 female fiance, 29 male, proposed to me a few weeks ago. It caught me completely by surprise.

But we've been together for three years and things have been going great. So I was really excited and said yes. I really liked the ring when I first saw it and my friends and family all think it is stunning. It's an oval cut with diamonds across the band. I asked where he got it and he wouldn't tell me where, but that he got a great deal on it.

I didn't think anything of it until yesterday, we were in bed and I asked him if it was diamond or moissanite, mainly out of curiosity. I don't have a preference by the way. He said he didn't know and would have to look it up. When I glanced over at his phone, he was in the Tmoo app. I asked him if he got it from there and he didn't respond. So I asked again and he responded with something like, quote, does it matter? And left the room and ended up sleeping on the couch. I spent all night so confused. Today I decided to download the app and look up my ring and it is listed at $38.

I am mad. He makes good money, 200k a year, and I feel like he could have shelled out some money for a ring better than the one on Teemu. Am I the asshole for telling him I don't want it? Oh my goodness. No. Teemu? Teemu. for telling him I don't want it. Oh my goodness. No. Teemu?

Teemu. Okay, listen, like with wedding rings or engagement rings, like it doesn't need to be, what was it, the people used to say three months salary. That to me is insane. That's a lot. I'm like, I would rather you take me to an ice restaurant a few times

and also have a less expensive ring. Yeah. But Teemu, what if he didn't know what Teemu was? Do you think that's possible? I'm wondering because I think about Teemu, like I really started to like know about it with the Super Bowl ads this past year. Yeah, same. Like it was every single ad was Teemu and I'm like, God, they're really shelling it

out. So maybe he like didn't understand what Tmoo really is because I think a lot of their branding too was like shop like the billionaire shop, which is like, no billionaires on Tmoo. What? So I don't know. Like, otherwise, why would you get it from Tmoo? Like, there's so many other, like, more ethical sources.

Yeah, like literally walk into Nordstrom and even, like, a $50 ring, but like, that is wild that he makes a salary of $200k. Yeah. And $38. Like, whoa. And also that the engagement was by surprise. I wonder why it all came to be. I know.

Why did he get a cheap ring that probably shipped really fast and then he proposed her, you know? I'm like really, I don't know about this one. And walking out of the room and sleeping on the couch after that short of a discussion is a little bit crazy to me. Like if you can't have a conversation about this peacefully without someone storming out and, like, boycotting you by sleeping on the couch, that's a little concerning for me.

What if at his $200,000 salary job, they were like, we're all married men, you're... And so he... Trying to maintain that. He's like, I must uphold this status as well. But I don't know, I'm really reaching I think. Well, we don't have much to go on. So it's like, oh, we are, we're just like,

the wheels are turning. We're like, what is this about? So the top comment, I don't know. Normally I'd celebrate someone who didn't buy into all the engagement slash wedding, spend yourself to bankruptcy thing, but $38? I'm as tight as a duck's arse with money, as we say in the UK. But I'd spend a little more than that to at least get a band that was a reasonably high carat gold and then save on the gemstones.

Are you engaged? Congratulations. Thank you. Yeah, I've been engaged for, it'll be like a year next week. So. Was it a complete surprise or had you talked about it? We had talked about it. And then I didn't know when I was honestly like, I was getting real annoying. Everyone can probably say like, I was like, when's it going to happen?

But the day of I knew because everyone was being super weird around me, and like, I felt like everyone was lying to me or avoiding me. I like cried. I was like, this is so sad. Oh, no! And it turns out, no, like, one of the people that was avoiding me, my mom, she was just busy, like, was like not avoiding me on purpose. And I was like, I don't know what's worse. Oh, my God!

But it ended up being really, really cute. But yeah, we definitely talked about it before. So I'm like with this, like three years is kind of the point where you're like, Yeah. And did you talk about rings? Like, did you give them an idea of what you liked or didn't like?

Yeah, so we actually went downtown. We like went to the Diamond District here in Los Angeles. And you can get such good deals there. And so I wanted Mois Night, because I knew I wanted something big, but I didn't want the diamond price. So like my ring is it like people see it and they're like, oh my God, it's massive.

But it is a Mois Night, which like I'm not discrediting like what my partner did or anything like that. Like I love, love, love my ring. And it was under $2,000. That's great. It's kind of around mine. Like, mine was an antique. I love that.

Me too. It's not a family heirloom or anything, but like, I, I with masculinity and femininity struggle with like style and what I want. So I wanted something that would be just balanced. More like neutral, but just fit you. Yeah, and so I had sent him like 10 links. I love that. And then left it. And then, yeah. And then it was also, it was cool

because I sent him a bunch of links and then was like, whichever one, it's still the balance of, I know I'm gonna like it, but also he picked it. That's actually a great way to do it. Because then it's like, okay, well, I like all these, but you pick the one that calls to you, and you think fits me the best.

That's a really fun way to do it. I liked it, it was nice. I think he liked it too. That's really, really pretty. I'm obsessed, okay? I'm like, okay, so ring number two, that's where we do it that way. I always joke with my fiance. I'm like, okay, so I number two, that's where we do it that way. I always joke with my fiance.

I'm like, okay, so I'm going to be like Victoria Beckham. Like, she's got 15 engagement rings. That's kind of what I want. Like, one can be 50 bucks. Like, get it from an estate sale. I'm cool with that. Like, I love thrifting and going on eBay. Me and eBay, we're like this.

Better than Temu or T-mu, whatever they say. Whatever the hell it is. Okay, let's see if there's any comments from OP here. Yes, please, because... What is happening? So we do have quite a few comments. Amazing. Oh my, okay, a lot of comments.

Okay, I'm not mad that the diamonds are not real, but I worry about the quality of the ring because I imagined my engagement ring to be at least sturdy. It's fine for now, but I have a hard time believing it'll last longer than a year if it's $38 on Tmoo. Yeah, if it's a gorgeous ring, I think that's great, but it could turn your finger green or break off if you accidentally bump into something with Tmoo. I just don't know. And then also people have travel rings. I think it would make sense for people, which I had just learned about, by the way, like a friend's trip. But yeah, that's such a valid concern. And also, even beyond that, there is some sentimental or emotional aspect to this. It's not that she's demanding this expensive thing, but it's also how does he

view this? If he cares about this and like there is people see a ring as something that stands for lasting forever, you know? So something that clearly is it's not going to last forever. But maybe in his mind he thought like, oh, this is just temporary. We can go get you a nice one and another time. But it doesn't sound like he said any of that. It sounds like you just slept on my couch. I know. And it's like, just have that conversation, at least, like, explain yourself and not storm off and pout. So I'm on Teemu.

OK, let's go. And now I'm wondering, I'm like, are we all overpaying? I don't know how Teemu is doing this. Probably not very, like, sustainably, ethically. I don't know. But there is a ring on here. It is 18 karat gold plated, sterling silver moissanite engagement ring.

And they're asking $28 for it. What? And it's like, okay, moissanite, like, how are they... What? It's really pretty. It is. Like, I've seen someone have that. like, okay, Moisanite, like, how are they? What? It's really pretty. It is. Like I've seen someone have that.

Like, is there a certification? Cause I know real jewelry like that has to have some sort of certification of it's stone or what it's actually made of. Like, is there anything in the description or like additional details? Let's see. I know that I just recently saw a TikTok

where this guy created a software, like a website where you can check, there are companies that are vastly putting out an inventory that are on high end things and low end things just across the board. Okay. And you, his website basically makes it so you can reverse image search and see that. So it's like, I guess it's not entirely insane that it could be that, but I just know that there are lots of jewelry sites that even if it's gold plated, it's like really poorly done too.

Yeah. It's so, jewelry is really interesting to me because like I have something that's solid gold but still turns my finger green sometimes. And then someone was like, well, that happens around your period. And I'm like, huh? I'm like, what? Also, if your jewelry, it gets dirty, it will just do that.

You just gotta wash it with soap. I know. I got one of those little things. The steamer? It makes a noise. It's like, mmm. Oh, that's even cooler. And also, I don't know what it does. It's magic, though. They like zap it. Yeah, I can put my retainers in there. I can put my jewelry in there. Oh my God. I don't know what it does. It's magic though. They like zap it? Yeah, I can put my retainers in there,

I can put my jewelry in there. I sanitize it, don't worry. Give me the link. It's so good. But no, I'm not seeing like any mention of certification. I just see like S925 sterling silver. So for our jewelry people out there, maybe that has meaning to them.

But you can do it based on the weight, like one carat, two carat, three carat. So... Whoa. I don't know. I'm like... That's wild. Okay, I wonder, maybe there's even more geniuses in the comments who like...

who know. I know. But... If it's Moisonite. I... That's what I'm like, I got Moisonite, and like, we paid way more than $28, clearly. Yeah, I think mine's Moisonite Knight too, the mainstone at least. So I was like, maybe... I don't know, I'm confused now.

But I think it's not... I don't know. So then I'm kind of going back on this one where it's like, are you upset that it was only $38? Because you did love the ring and everyone said it was really pretty. So now I'm like, huh. Yeah. You know, and maybe it's just the idea that it's Teemu and the reputation that Teemu has. If the ring is legit, that's awesome.

We live in a time. What a time. $28 for a moissanite people pay thousands for. Yeah. Like that is amazing if that's the thing. But it's also a bummer that he wasn't willing to like talk about it. I know. So that's kind of what she does get into.

Like he's never been overly frugal. I'm probably more frugal than him. Neither of us are huge spenders, but we each make enough to not have to strictly budget or anything. We have our own accounts and split rent equally. I know he has at least 100K across his savings and investment accounts. We go for drinks a few times a week and we'll go to concerts together. We travel a few times a year.

Our door dash the other night was $40. My ring costs less than door dash dining. Oh, that does, that can sting a little, that can sting a little bit. Ooh. I can understand where she's coming from, obviously. That does, that can sting a little, that can sting a little bit. Ooh. I can understand where she's coming from, obviously. Yeah. There is some interesting comments about people mentioning this could be a loyalty test.

Oh, these tests. And OP is like, I'm very confused based on the responses that people are saying it could be a loyalty test, that he doesn't want me to be able to sell it if we divorce or that he doesn't plan to be with me for long. I have a pit in my stomach. I haven't considered breaking things off, but that was before I wrote this here." Oh my gosh. This is all things that will be cleared up if they just talk about it. I wish that there would have been more room for her to ask, so what inspired you to get this from this place?

Or, like, what is your plan? Like, I don't know. It's so odd. Does clarify it is Moisanite from the seller LVZ Gem on Timu, Temu, whatever the heck it is. Really interesting. So, we do have an update. Hell yeah.

Okay. Oh, we do have an update. Hell yeah. Okay. Thank God. Literally. He came home this morning while I was in a work from home meeting. These comments made my head spin all night. I got like three hours of sleep, so I admit I may be in the wrong for bringing up his finances, but I did. Ree the gold digger rumors. When we met, I was making more than him and often paying for his things.

His high paying job is a recent development. I have my own money and don't need his." I asked him what was going on, if there was anything he needed to tell me, if he was testing me by doing this. Well, that really set him off. Quote, what kind of person do you think I am? You think I'm a cheapskate, a liar? You obviously think really poorly of me. But still, he never gave me a reason. So I asked why he was deflecting every question to victimize himself and to avoid my questions.

He tried to leave again. Come on. Why, this is not like... This is really bad communicating. This is not that big of a deal. It's $38 either way guys, come on. Let's just talk about it. Let's talk about it.

It's $38 that is breaking you guys up. The way he keeps trying to run away, I'm just envisioning the Kool-Aid man running through walls. Like, why are you trying to escape your fiance so fast? She needs to get a lasso. Literally. So I tried deescalating and told him, I see where he's coming from, but I need to know if he still loves me. He was immediately apologetic and still wants to get married. He said, I can just pick my ring out and buy it with my own money. He said he's sick of talking about this and it's water under the bridge now.

Honey, you've barely talked about it. You're already tired. Have they ever fought before? I don't know. We gotta go back and check the comments. He's acting like his normal self again since this conversation. I hear him out there, skipping around and humming to himself all happily, and it's actually

pissing me off. Maybe I'm being dramatic, but I don't think I can handle a marriage with someone like this. Yeah, buddy. Oh no. What? That was like, okay, so what is this job? Because this is all things where it's like, this guy does well for himself, and they've been in this relationship for three years.

How has their communication and their dynamic been up until this point? If this is the longest, like he can't handle that much discussion about it. Sounds like that conversation went for like four minutes tops. It had to have been really short because he flipped out. And then he's like, well, if you can buy your own ring then. It's like, oh, okay. Just avoiding it, just avoiding the main path, derailing. And it's like, I guess if you were with someone

and they wanted something that's out of your budget or just not what you were willing to spend, you could offer up like, oh, I'll split it with you or whatever. But I'm really flabbergasted. This is just so goofy to me. And there is a comment from OP where she's mentioning, I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he wasn't aware of the reputation that Temu has, but he is being

sneaky and distant about this and now just fully avoiding the conversation. I'll update here if I can find out anything. So that was 15 hours ago and then that update we just read was three hours old. There's no other comments like since. He invests in stocks. He's pretty risk averse. No mentions about communication. I've searched the word, I've searched the word communicate. I'm not seeing any comments addressing like our communication before this was amazing. We could talk through anything.

Yeah, I feel bad that Reddit really got to her head. And so she started asking the Reddit questions, which Reddit can be really intense with theories and stuff. So you want to... I feel like if I was in her situation, I would take those with a grain of salt and then put them in your mental pocket, but do not let them be the topic of conversation. Like, because she put him in a position

where he feels like he's being accused and already he's insecure that he ordered it off Teemu. Yeah. Even though that was a conscious adult decision that he literally made. Yeah. So he just seems to be taking it really personally that she's questioning this. And I feel like she could have had a gentler approach, but I don't think that she was necessarily wrong for how she went about it before.

I don't know. I don't think that she was necessarily wrong for how she went about it before. I don't know. I don't think so either. Engagement rings are one of those things that are so person specific or dependent. Like everyone wants their own, like there's the own method to the madness. Like I wanted a Moyes night, I wanted to at least pick out the stone. So like I picked out the stone and then he picked out the rest of the ring. You did the links. That's the first time I've ever heard about that. And I love it. So

it's like, everyone is so, you know, in their own world with it, but like, she's not happy. And she's trying to have a conversation and he is just not for it. Yeah. And I feel like engagement, it's really one of those big steps for a couple, right? And I think even if you want it to be a surprise and you don't wanna know exactly how or when or what the ring is, it's still one of those big steps that you are making together

and you should have those conversations and understand fully where each other is coming from with it. Like for me, we had the conversation about budget roughly because I'm like, I wanna be able to wear it and not be terrified every moment that it could be stolen or lost and be out that money. Like, that's terrifying to me. And I want to be able to be relaxed a little bit. I also didn't know about travel rings. But like...

That was new to me when I got engaged, too. Yeah, I had no idea. And I love the concept of that, because it is, like, very sentimental and a prized possession. Sort of like, potentially go on vacation and get robbed I love the concept of that because it is like very sentimental and a prized possession. So to like potentially go on vacation and get robbed or like stolen out of your hotel room or whatever, like travel rings are so smart. Yeah, absolutely.

So smart. It must have, cause you guys kept your relationship really under wraps. Did you wear your engagement ring at all or were you kind of scared? You're like, I don't want to like have a picture taken in it. Like how did you guys go about that? Yeah. So this is T a little bit. Okay, shit. So, no, I wore a lot of rings in general before then, including rings on this finger.

And so when we were talking about it, I was like, with a lot of things with our relationship, I'm not going to deny myself the experiences. Even though it was a secret, we weren't like preventing ourselves from just living normal lives that much. So I wore it, but I wore a lot of rings. And like, so even if there was speculation, because there was, people would be like, well, she wears lots of rings.

It's fine. And it's like, it doesn't scream engagement ring when it's by itself. And I had other rings that was like a little opal that was way bigger. Like I have- That's so pretty. I I had other rings that was like a little opal that was way bigger. Like I have so pretty. I have some loud rings. Thank you. But yeah, so like, I did wear it and just kind of, I didn't, and then one time I posted a selfie, I think that had it like pretty prominently and they're like, guys, oh, what? And I was like, I had to, like, just let me live. Oh my God.

But yeah. That's so, so cute. Yeah, that would be, that'd be hard, but I guess like wearing a lot of rings, it was almost like, that's just another ring, guys. Yeah. But it's so nice that like you guys, I love the way you announced your marriage too.

Like it was April Fool's, wasn't it? Yeah, yeah. And everyone's like, wait, is this real? Is this not real? Yeah, some people think it's still a prank. What? You know? How many months later now?

Oh, yeah, like, was it? Almost half a year? Yeah, almost six months. Yeah. Somewhere in there. Yeah, yeah. That's so cool. The pressure, like, just being off where it's just like,

you can just, you know, keep doing you now. Mm-hmm. I love it. Yeah, that's very nice. Thank you. And yeah, it's like, it's good to have that communication because it's, even though it's one person doing something for another person,

it's still like a group decision, a team decision. And he's just not acting like they're on a team at all. No, no. I do love the last line in the update. I don't know if I can marry someone like this. Good on them for thinking that way. It's important because we ignore red flags sometimes and it's like, hey, this is one of those very adult moments

that you guys are doing and like, it's time to read into those things. I think you make a really good point too. Like it is almost like a group project where it's like, you don't necessarily have to do it exactly as the other person would or whatever, but like their participation, their thoughts, feelings should be taken into consideration

because it just is a bottom line respect thing. And you want to know your partner respects you and values you and isn't going to steamroll you. Like, yeah. Absolutely. And like, at this point, I'm like, maybe he is testing her. Because like, you know, last episode or previous episode, people be testing people in relationships for weird reasons. They really are. Okay, moving along.

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I'm like, I don't refresh them. Okay, it's two days old now. Wow. Yeah, I get scared sometimes when I refresh and then they're gone. I'm like, oh no, that's no, that's smart. We still got it. So it is titled, My Supervisor Met My Boyfriend and Now She Wants an HR Meeting. Posting here because my friends are busy

and I feel like this is the next best thing since I listen every week and love reading everybody's comments and opinions on things. I, 24 female, am a high school science teacher and my boyfriend, 25 male, is is an only fans model. This is important Today after school he helped me carry in some stuff for a lab. I'm going to be doing with my kids When he arrived the principal I'll call her Jan was outside for dismissal and was able to meet him While he was helping me set everything up in my classroom

Jan came in and asked if they had ever met before, since he looked familiar. My boyfriend said he didn't think so, and that was that. When we finished, I gave him a tour of the school that ended at the office. Jan was still there and greeted us again, before a look of what I can only describe as fear came across her face. She quickly excused herself and we were left alone and confused. My boyfriend asked if maybe she recognized him from his OnlyFans page. I said surely not. She's a middle-aged woman who barely knows how to use her phone. He let me live in denial until I got a text from her as we were cooking dinner. She said this, Good evening, OP. I'd like to have a meeting with you and HR person from HR tomorrow morning.

Please be in my office at 7am. So now I'm almost certain that my boyfriend was right and she does know him from his page. He keeps trying to reassure me that it's not about that, but I can see in his eyes that he's at least a little proud of himself. I've kicked him out to buy me some stress snacks. My friends are busy, and my family doesn't know he's an OnlyFans model, so I don't know who else to turn to.

Maybe y'all have advice for me? I want to crawl out of my skin. Oh, man. How old, what year does she teach? High school science teacher and she's 24. He's 25. Oh boy, she looked scared. The principal looked scared.

Why would Jan even bring it up? For me, I'm like, you're going to incriminate yourself, Jan. I'm so curious about this little meeting that's going to happen. Cause I know with teaching, that's like one of the places where it still feels really old school with outside of work things. Yeah, it does. And I don't understand how it's legal. Like I saw on TikTok, a teacher got fired for having bikini pictures, swimsuit pictures on her Instagram.

Her own personal private Instagram. Yep. That's what's crazy. What? Private platforms are still being impacted. Like as if it tells them something about you. But it's like swimsuits. And also, I mean, it's unfortunate how sex workers

or just OnlyFans isn't just that. It's like just, you know, modeling or it is adult content sometimes, but it's not always. And so it's unfortunate that it gets judged in that way. And like the fact that this principal likely recognizes this guy from OnlyFans, yeah, you're exposing yourself and it's a very private platform where I'm pretty sure you have to pay and have a membership or a subscription to that person in order to see it. So I hope that if that's the case

that she should feel safe about this, the teacher, OP. Yeah, I know. And I'm like, I would love some lawyers to chime in. Oh yeah. Because obviously it's very state dependent what workplace protections people have. But I'm pretty sure you can't get fired anywhere for what your partner does.

As long as you're doing your job, whatever they do doesn't affect your job. Like, I mean, what? Because it's obviously, you're thinking of protecting the kids, right? Yeah. And it is so many steps to get access to whatever this partner is doing, you know, or posting.

Like, and it also, we don't know what the content is. We just don't. So it's like, you can't always assume what it is, but there's so many steps. I know. I didn't realize how much of a variety there is on OnlyFans. Like some people literally just post their feet on there.

Feet? Or like, not even anything like that either? Just bikini. I saw one girl does just do bikini pictures. I think there's people who do, like, comedy on there. Like, there's, like, not even any sexual connotation to content. I think there is, like, a push to kind of, like... Eliminate that? Well, to kind of, they're trying to compete with Patreon. Right.

So they're having just regular creators come over now too. Exactly. So you don't really know. I mean, this guy is a model, which, you know, like, I know that that can be many things, but it sucks that, because even if it was sex work, like that's okay. Like, and it is still a private platform that it would be really hard for kids to A, find out about it and B, somehow get access to it. Well, and also that's kind of on the parents.

If your kid is going on OnlyFans and your kid is on websites they shouldn't be on, that's kind of on the parents. That's your job to make sure your kids are safe on the internet and safe online. And I think it's kind of funny that the boyfriend's like proud or husband or boyfriend? Boyfriend, yeah. Boyfriend is like proud. He's like, I think she recognizes me in my six pack. Honestly, it is kind of impressive

because like you really do have to market to grow on any platform, but especially that one that is so private. It's crazy. I just saw there's a news article that came out. OnlyFans creators made $5.33 billion last year. Wow. So like that is for a lot of people a small business.

And it is a great, like it is a, it's a healthy industry in a lot of ways. Like I think it might be controversial, but like I think sex work is super important. And you know, depending on how it's done, obviously, there's healthy ways and not healthy ways to go about it. I think it's still important and valid. Is there an update of this? I want to know. So I literally, I commented and I was like, I need an update OP.

I have someone, I have the perfect guest co-host to respond to this one. So the top comment is also about needing an update. If there was ever a need for an update, this would be it. We are now invested in your life OP. By the way, do not under any circumstances admit that your boyfriend is an OnlyFans model. If you get fired or disciplined at all,

call a local employment attorney the second you leave the school. Make sure you have a copy of your employment contract with the district handy. Okay, good. Okay. So it sounds like she's not at liberty to give that information and yeah, it sounds like she would be safe. I know. A lot of people do recommend recording the conversation too if They're in a one-party consent state because a lot you have to like get the other party's permission to record right? But let's get into this update shall we?

That was posted eight hours ago Hello, I'm not sure if I'm supposed to make a separate post for an update or not. Sorry This is my first time actually posted on reddit Please let me know if I'm not supposed to I'm supposed to make a separate post for an update or not. Sorry, this is my first time actually posting on Reddit. Please let me know if I'm not supposed to. You did fine. You're good. I asked for advice and y'all gave so much. Thank you.

I felt really supported. Also, a lot of y'all clocked it. I do work for a religious private school, which like even more taboo. Yeah, Ms. Principal. Ms. Principal. Even weirder. Anyways, I arrived from my meeting at seven. Which like even more like taboo. Ms. Principal. Jan. Even weirder. Anyways, I arrived for my meeting at 7.

I know a lot of you thought it was early, but school starts at 7 45, so it was a normal time for me. I did record the meeting. Even though I am in a one party consent state, I asked to be safe. The meeting started with Jan, my principal, saying that it had recently come to their attention that my boyfriend has been publicly participating in lewd acts. I asked what she meant, since as far as I knew, my boyfriend had never had charges filed against him for something like that.

That's when the HR lady, Pam, said that somebody, they couldn't name names, just said it was a staff member, found his OnlyFans account. Like many of you said, I asked what that was, since I had never heard of it. They explained, although they did not look as uncomfortable as I had hoped. Then they asked if I had ever participated in or intended to participate in one of his videos. I said no. Jan said that I couldn't bring any unvetted guests into the building. So I pulled up the email thread I had asking for permission and reminded her that he had his ID scanned in order to get a temporary badge. Pam said that it was due to the nature of his online activity

that he would no longer be allowed in the school. I said, okay, and asked if when I brought my dad to help with things in the future, would I need to disclose his online activity as well? Pam said that wasn't necessary, but that they couldn't have any teacher or staff member affiliated with a sex worker. I asked what that meant.

And she said that I could not bring him onto school grounds, to school functions, or anything relating to the school. Additionally, since the school represented the church, the staff could only have relationships with people who upheld a dignified image. Apparently, my boyfriend doesn't do that. She also said that if they receive one report from a parent, student, or staff member

of my affiliation with him after this meeting, that would be grounds for immediate termination. Whoa. That is so toxic. Extremely. To have that weighing on you constantly, just that fear. And it's completely out of your control. Like completely out of your control.

And also, I'm just like speaking in their own language, this school. Someone's participating in lewd acts by paying for and somehow seeing and accessing this OnlyFans. Thank you. Oh, if he gets to that. I asked if that also applied to the staff member who reported it in the first place, since they went on to a corn site. Jan said that was relevant.

That the meeting was about me, not the other staff member. The meeting ended shortly after. They asked me to sign an acknowledgement of the meeting. I told them I wanted to review it first and brought it home with me. My boyfriend is furious and at the same time keeps apologizing saying that it's his fault, but it's not. The standards for teachers are crazy. We're going to have a little indeed slash LinkedIn date so I can hopefully get out of

there ASAP. Lesson learned though, never take a job at a religious school. That is so intense. And I, wow. My immediate reaction was it is way more relevant that to be talking to the person who had access and went into the website than this person who to their knowledge doesn't interact with that content is aware of it. You know, you can't just come across that stuff. No. So. No. So that's so unfair. I would be so upset.

And I think obviously she wants her job in the meantime until she finds something else. But on my exit interview, I would literally, I would blast the door open. I'd have my boyfriend print up the little invoice of like, Jan blah blah blah. Like I would make sure I have the receipts and be like, hey, you had a problem with me? Look at this. Like you can't have a double standard. But also maybe there's something to be in the bigger person and just walking away and just. Yeah. And I don't know if legal stuff

is still the same when it's like a private school, like a religious school, because religious schools are usually private schools. Yeah, they can kind of have their own rules. A little bit, sometimes. I don't know, to a certain extent. Yeah. Like code of conduct stuff, maybe. I don't know.

I'd be curious, because it is like a private organization versus like a public school that's held accountable, like more so by government and community Yeah, but it would be very I think it's easy to be like I found this page and you should know about this But if the HR person was also brought the information of like hey Did you know that your principal has a membership that they're subscribed to on only fans to this type of content? That matters way more to me than if someone is doing a job.

I can understand a point of view of like, in a very specific situation of like, oh, this person does this type of content that, you know, we don't want this person around kids. Okay, maybe. But still, there's a lot going on there. I know. And you just know that they're gonna actually go through his content to make sure she's

not in it. 100%. Wow. This principal's like, guess I have to go through all of his content. It's a research. And the fact that, okay, I'm surprised. The fact that she recognized him in one visit and was like, oh my God, that means, I don't know how active she is on there.

She's active. I really feel for this teacher because OP deserved way more her side of the story being heard because she had nothing to do with any of this. No, it's so different. It's like, if it was her after hours, that's one thing. Like, because people, you know, Google name can come up a lot more easily,

but like, this is a boyfriend, this is her partner, this is not, and she's not involved. It's crazy. And she said it herself, the standards we hold teachers to are crazy. And it's like teachers, they don't get paid enough at all for what they do. And it's like, if you have one of the good ones, you should want to keep them. Like, shut up, Jan. Literally.

Shut up. Go enjoy on your own time. Separate your work and your private life. If someone else brought it to your attention, maybe that's one thing. But you're the one that recognized him. That's a you problem. Yep. I can't believe HR didn't have a problem with it.

And it sounds like principal and HR are in cahoots. Oh, they're buddy-buddy. They talked about it before. They had a plan. Jan probably didn't mention she knew. She probably did keep it anonymous. She's like, someone anonymously told me that they recognized him versus her going to HR being like, I recognized him.

Of course. And they're not going to go as far as to check out this and verify it. No. They're just going to believe it. Well, Jan's the principal. So that power imbalance, like they're going to believe Jan. Mm-hmm. Freaking Jan.

Get out of there, OP. Yeah. And I hope you find something better. I know it's hard out there for teachers, but sounds like you're a good one. I know. And honestly, it might be a good time. Like school years just started in a lot of places. Maybe a new teacher didn't work out. You could swoop in, you know.

Fingers crossed. Fingers crossed, yeah. Okay, moving along. Another one of this week's partners is Mint Mobile. I love a good deal. Discount, coupon code, you name it. I'll work for a deal sometimes. But tell me why I didn't seriously consider changing my phone provider until I tried Mint Mobile, even though I knew I was overpaying. And you're like, wait, wait, wait, back up $15. Yeah, $15 a month when you purchase just a three month plan. So why not try it?

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your wireless bill to $15 a month at mintmobile.com slash THT. $45 upfront payment required, equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three-month plan only. Speed slower, about 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details. This is coming from Relationship Advice. It is titled, My 37 male wife, female punched a woman in the face in public in front of our daughter six female. I don't know how to feel about this. My wife is eight months pregnant and last night we went to a restaurant with our daughter that was surprisingly crowded for a weeknight. We were waiting for our table when my wife grabbed my arm and said, quote,

that woman over there keeps staring at us. I told her not to think too much into it, as she has a tendency to point out creepy people a lot. We got to her table and while we were waiting for our food, the woman she pointed to came up to us and asked if she could touch my wife's belly. My wife said, quote, I'd rather you not, but the woman did anyways and my wife stood up. The woman looked at our daughter and said, quote, what a beautiful little girl,

and tried to pick her up by the armpits. Sorry, I hate armpit stuff. My wife then pushed the woman back and punched her in the face. I took her arm and got my daughter and we got out of there. I asked my wife why she did that and she said, quote, Are you kidding? A complete stranger tried to pick up our daughter. Yeah. I told her she overreacted and that such force was not necessary. I had some reservations about letting her go out in public while pregnant, but I don't really think I can at all now, not if she's going to act like this.

I don't really know what to do. She still seems to think she did nothing wrong. I have never acted like this in public, and neither has she. The fact that she likely traumatized our daughter by displaying such a violence in front of her is something that's making me look at her slightly different. What should I say to her? Oh boy.

I mean, obviously I couldn't keep my mouth shut during that one, but. I'm flabbergasted. It's a lot. I think... I do think it's weird that he didn't acknowledge that what this woman was doing was weird. Right? This is like giving like gingerbread house,

like, oh, what beautiful children you are. You're staring at me from across the room as we're waiting for our table. She clearly is like being weird about it for her, like, wife to notice. And then to come up to the table, can I touch your belly? The wife says no. She still touches her belly. What? Yeah.

Like, the escalation was there. Obviously, this pregnant wife was very valid in her feelings. Punching obviously, like, it's illegal. And then I love that the husband just got them out of there. Cops didn't get involved. Like, obviously, punching someone is illegal. But in a way, this person touched her first without her consent. I wonder if that's technically assault too.

I don't know. I don't know, because pregnant belly stuff, people be just touching bellies and like, she said, no, ew, stop. I know. Like stop, ick, ick, ick, ick, ick, and then going to pick up another person's child without asking.

Oh. Like, so like if I was OP and my partner was like, someone's staring at us, obviously I would check it. And if I am like, maybe it's nothing, sure. But then that person comes up, I'm now, I should clock like, okay, my partner was right. That's weird. Watch that happen and be like, okay,

time to protect our zone right now. Like, so many, and she So many, and she stood up. The wife stood up. Yeah. And like, if this is your second child, you know she's in mama bear mode. Yeah. She's gonna protect her kid and her family.

I know, well, and she's eight months pregnant. When the dad saw some stranger going to pick up your six-year-old, don't you think you should have gotten up too? Like, come on. And like, six? Six-year-olds are kind of big. How is she just casually picking up the six-year-old? By the armpits too.

Like that is, and there was just no check, sorry. I like have a weird thing with like, I used to get tickled in my armpits as a kid, and like now I feel like- Armpit trauma. Yeah, it's like, I don't like it. I don't like armpits in general. Yeah.

They're not like fun. No. They just look kind of weird. Yeah. Especially just like... They're sweaty. They smell. Yeah.

But I don't want a stranger touching mine. No. No matter how. Yeah. I just know. I just, I'm really bad. Like I gave you a hug when you got here, but like I'm really bad at hugs. So to like, go up and touch a stranger. No, I have weird things with hugs too.

I'm like, I just never know. But it's like, I feel like handshakes, like I would almost rather hug someone than shake their hand. I get that. I don't know why, I'm just like, hands are just so, like, you don't know if they washed it? Yeah, like I know everybody's different with that stuff.

I'm overthinking it for sure. But like, to like, I just, I don't know, I'm just... It's ultimately what you want to do with your body, but also like a hug or a handshake is different than someone touching your stomach. Baby or not, it's weird to touch someone's stomach without consent, especially when they've been actively given enthusiastic decline of consent. Like this woman isn't right, especially since she was, so she was right. Yeah. My wife was right that this woman was watching them. Clearly was.

Across the restaurant. And there's so many comments with this one that I'm kind of confused about. My wife has a tendency to point out creepy people a lot. Yeah, no. I mean, listen, I'm a paranoid person, and I point out creepy people a lot. Sometimes I'm wrong, sometimes I'm right. And it's better to just listen to a person, and at the very least, assess for yourself.

Absolutely. And be there for this person, because now this person, whether or not they're right, they're on edge. So be there for them, just period. And the other comment that was interesting. I had some reservations about letting her go out in public while pregnant. Hello? What is she, what are you gonna do, tie her up at home for nine months?

Yeah, like maybe don't let her get on a roller coaster or on a plane, but like, because you know, like, you know, to fly after, but like, I know the amount know, like, there's a fly after but like, I know the amount of people that give birth on planes on accident. It's really crazy. Yeah, but like, that's that is wild to say I think it's good to like, be aware of like how your wife's feeling in certain moments, but like, letting her out. Yeah, I was nervous. Hello? Dude. Dude.

Top comment. Your wife was defending herself against a total stranger who touched her without permission and after being told not to, who then proceeded to try and pick up your kid. Are you embarrassed by your wife's actions or because you did nothing to protect your family? Snaps. Yeah. I mean, it's really weird.

He didn't acknowledge anything about whether she was right, whether that was not okay to have your child touched. This man, this OP unfortunately sounds like they're not very involved. Or just not picking up on vibes at all. Maybe he is just one of those people that doesn't read social situations or stuff very well because to just think your wife is pointing out all these creepy people and it's like you just think they're normal, very clearly your wife was on it with this read. So are you just that unaware?

And someone does comment here, OP as this woman is putting his kid in the trunk of her car. Gee whiz, let's not overreact. Like, you don't know, this woman could have picked up your six year old and skirted out of there. Yeah, absolutely. Like it was on a path of escalation.

It was happening. You not only, like do not touch anyone, like, do not touch anyone's kid. Do not touch anyone's kid. That's so creepy. That's worse to me than touching my stomach. Like, do not touch, like, why do you feel that's okay? I think in the past, like, you know, there are older generations that expect

to be able to do certain things, to interact with your kids, to interact with your pets. Like, I had a dog one time that, for some reason, I never realized it before, how weird people are with your pets. Like, I had a dog, his name was Django, and he didn't want strangers to touch him. And he wasn't aggressive. He would just move away. And people would take it personally.

And like, I... What? But there was weird instances. People in LA are weird, dude, where one time this woman pulled my puppy, when he was a puppy, into her lap and she put her hand in some weird places and he like, winced and lunged away. Like, he pushed, I think she like... What the hell?

Like inappropriately touched my dog. And I like, was like, it was so weird. I don't know if I'm telling this story very well. It was in a freaking Starbucks. This woman just pulled my puppy into her lap. What the hell? Put her hands in places, he got out of her grip and she was like, so cute, ha ha,

and like walked away really fast. What a freak. Yeah, so I feel for the mom, definitely. Oh my God. Because I think about that person at that Starbucks and I'm like, I wish I had punched them, you know? Oh, I'm just blown away by your story. I'm like sitting here, I'm like, you're poor dog. I know, my poor dog.

And like, that only happened that one time. And like, after that, I was like, I am not giving people permission to touch my dog. People are too comfortable with other people's animals. Yeah, and clearly children too. I know. That's the thing too. Like, I don't know how I'm gonna react

if I'm ever pregnant. Cause like, I'm again, like I'm bad at hugs. So like the thought of someone just like rubbing my belly, like I'm a, like a Buddha or something, like I just don't know how I'm gonna handle it. Like I've had a couple of friends that have been pregnant and like, I didn't even feel like super comfortable touching their stomachs.

Like I honestly think I've touched like one pregnant person's stomach because I'm just like, I don't know. Like, it's just so, it feels so personal and intimate. Yeah, absolutely. I think I've only touched one and asked too. Like specifically invited, like, oh, they're kicking, do you want? Like I, cause yeah, it's like, it's an intimate touch.

That's like for your partner even, like to touch your stomach. I know, such a little crazy thing too. Like there's a little alien in there. Yeah, bro. Don't even get me started. Oh my God. And like when you can see like a full foot outline, have you seen pictures of that?

I've seen videos where like you can see like an arm go by. Like, I'm just like, I'm nauseous. I'm so nauseous. Yeah, it freaks me out a little bit too. Okay, well, no update on this one. Did they reply to anything? Not seen any comments from OP. So...

That's a bummer. I know. I hope he ended up realizing like... Yeah, because clearly she has good instincts and that she can sense trouble and like see it. Yeah. You know? Crazy. Someone does give him a new title. My 37 male wife, 35 female, defended my daughter's life after she was assaulted by some creepy woman touching her belly and grabbing our kid in the middle of a

COVID pandemic while I stood there and did nothing. Fixed it for you. There you go. And that does also add some context too. This post is three years old. Oh, wow. So like, your wife is pregnant, pandemic, COVID, still like being really active and present, and like you have this stranger doing this? No, thank you. Yeah, that stranger is out of their mind.

Out of their mind. This next one is also out of their mind. Oh, boy. Coming from Relationship Advice, a month old, my 26 female boyfriend, 27 male, falsely staged a drug intervention for me. I'm not addicted to drugs. What do I do?

I've 26 female been with my boyfriend, 27 male, for three years. Our relationship has had absolutely no issues before this incident. He has been the perfect and most loving partner. However, last week, I came home from work to an intervention with all of my close family and friends, orchestrated by my boyfriend, who has apparently convinced them I'm a drug addict. For context, I have no history of drug use, no behavioral signs that would suggest addiction, and no reason for him to believe otherwise. I believe he knows I'm not on drugs because he has said things

to my mom and sister that he knows to be untrue. That things have gone missing around the house, they haven't. That I've used his credit card to withdraw money, I don't even have his card details. And that I've been acting erratically, absolutely nothing out of the ordinary. When I confronted him about all of this, he said, quote, it's not about the drugs. It's about making sure you're safe. What? My partner is a psychologist and has convinced my entire family I am displaying all the hallmark signs of drug addiction.

They all insist I'm in denial and that I need help. No one is willing to entertain my denials at all. My mom says she isn't willing to have me over to her house, and my sister won't allow me to see my nieces until I go to rehab. What? What? Based on the conversations with my family and friends, I believe he's been spinning this story for several months now prior to staging the intervention.

I am super embarrassed as he organized for practically all of my close friends, family, and even a work colleague to attend the intervention. But more than that, I feel utterly betrayed and confused. I can't understand his motivation for doing this. Can anyone offer me some insight as to what is prompting this otherwise normal man to do this? Whew. I'm terrified.

That sounds like a Handmaid's Tale nightmare just being thrown into a world that you don't even know is possible. Like what? My jaw is on the floor. I'm like, I'm so, so scared. And I feel so bad because like, everyone's against them. Like everyone, the family, like the mom being like, you can't come over. The sister, you can't see your nieces until you go to rehab. No one is believing her. And then I'm also terrified because he is a psychologist. Like, there's a position of power there. And so, like, he also has that, like, level of authority where if he tells people something, especially with, like, addiction, they're going to

believe him. Yeah, especially if he, like, knows all the therapy speech and all the words, like, it truly sounds like something out of The Twilight Zone. It does. This is so crazy. I mean, my instinct is, like, he's trying to, like, entrap her into, like, sounds like he... Because I just, after hearing so many Reddit stories over the years, men can just, like, shift.

Or, like, people that you're in a relationship with, your partner can just like shift. Yeah. And who knows where it's coming from, who knows like why they're doing that, but like I can't believe her own family isn't even considering her. Like that means he's really been like plotting. Like laying that groundwork, really been, like, plotting. Like, laying that groundwork. Like, she's kind of assuming. I don't think, like, even if, like, my fiancé went to my mom

and was like, she's addicted to, like, all these things and blah, blah, blah, like, I feel like my mom would give me the benefit of the doubt and talk to me first. Privately, like, without him, yeah. 100%. And, like, my instinct instinct is you can prove that. You can prove that you haven't even done anything.

Like you can get regular over the counter drug tests, but you can also go to the hospital, get the whole nine and show. Do the hair follicle one. Everything, blood tests and show that he's lying. But like, you know, it takes time and you know, I would be afraid that my family would still not believe me if they've been believing for months and they're like, well, maybe she's just stopped for a little bit to prove that she's not. Like, that's, that's actually something out of a sci-fi novel, wild.

I'm also sitting here trying to understand the why behind it for him. Like why are you doing this? This is someone you've been with for three years. How do you move forward now? Like, you, deep down, genuinely know that this person isn't a drug addict. Like, are you trying to just have her break up with you so you don't have to do it?

Is this about power and control in some weird way where, like, you're almost making this person look insane, like, and a liar, like why? What's the why here? My thoughts were that this person is trying to be controlling, like, and just with the Reddit stories you read over at Smosh, it's like, oh, he got onto some weird podcasts or weird forums

and is thinking like, this is how you lock down a partner. Like, I don't know, that's literally, it's a reach, but like. I could see it though. I mean, nothing, like nothing's impossible. I mean, this intervention was somehow possible. Literally. That's so sad. That's so sad.

There's a top comment, all caps, and they made it really big. Like out of all the font size here on this page, I didn't even know you could do it, but they made it big. Oh my God. Yeah. Get the fuck out now. He's manipulating your friends and family to gain total control and isolate you. He's going to hurt you.

Next comment down. This is genuinely one of the worst slash scariest advice posts I've seen on Reddit. Really hope she gets out fast. Next comment. As someone who went through this, they isolate, then the abuse starts. This post made my blood run cold. And that is something I didn't consider, like the isolation. Like we all, we like, we all recognize like the family is now like shunning her, not believing her, you can't come over. But like you now have to look at the effect of that.

Like she has no one. What's crazy now that I like look back, she's not even questioning like breaking up. That wasn't mentioned at all in this post. She's just like, why do you think, she's just like, why do you think they think this? I think, because there is a very small possibility that this person's a psychologist, maybe they're not a very good one. And maybe they're just, they're just reading into signs and not taking fact or taking other routes to just believe your partner that they're not, like showing

signs and the fact that she's they're not, like showing signs. And the fact that she's debunking, like, I'm not stealing stuff. I'm not doing these things. Like, like it does unfortunately feel like controlling isolating behavior. And like, I've experienced it to a degree in past relationships, and I've seen it happen to my friends. And it's like, it's so devastating to see. And it can happen before you even realize. Like, so it's possible he's already been isolating her without her realizing because the fact that they're so willing to believe him.

I know. And I think that's like a lot. I think that's why it is so hard to leave toxic relationships because it can just slowly seep in and that isolation and that control or that doubt in your own thoughts and your own gut. And it's just like before you know it, you're like, seep in and that isolation and that control or that, like, that doubt in your own thoughts and your own gut. And it's just like, before you know it, you're like, wait, no, no, no, no.

Like, this is just normal, it's fine. And it's like, that's why it is so hard to leave and get out and recognize like, this isn't normal. Yeah, because suddenly one day, you feel like that relationship is all you have. Yeah. And you don't know what to do. And I think that's genuinely like,

I think that is why he's trying to do that. Like there's another comment here I'll read before we look at OP's account and see if there's anything. But this person goes, soon as I read he's a psychologist, I came to say exactly this. He's not only manipulating your friends and family, he's manipulating you.

Actually, this probably belongs in R slash manipulation rather than here. I especially love the little quote, it's not about the drugs, it's about ensuring you're safe. Next thing you know, you are in a psych ward because you are at risk. You do not want that. Leave this relationship immediately. Block your boyfriend, let family and friends know you are okay, but go low contact with them until you have this sorted out. Because he has now laid the groundwork, you leaving him will definitely be perceived as a result of your drug issues." Geez Louise. That's so sad. Like for a second, I was like, whoa, is this like Munchausen's

by Proxy? Yeah. He's, cause he's brought all of their family in to like believe this and he's seeming like he believes it. But that's a, that's a, this is, I mean, this whole thing is crazy, but that's one crazy lane on the crazy freeway, you know? I wonder if there's some aspect of that, if that could fit here. Because, like, he probably is going to try to get her put on some sort of hold.

Like, oh, she's going to hurt herself. Like, he pro... I could see it. I could see it really going down that route. And it's like, well, he doesn't want to do that to himself. So, like, yeah, like, he's going to do it to her. Mm-hmm. Ugh. Okay. There's only one comment from OP.

Only one. And this post is a month old. So like, the fact there's not an update yet, like... Oh, no! I'm like, you guys, my anxiety is through the roof on this. Like, we need to... I'm following their account right now, but like, we... OP, if you're out there, are you okay?

Yeah, let us know. Please blink twice if you need help. Seriously, drop a pin, we'll come home. So the only comment from OP is in response to someone. So someone goes, get a drug test, the hair kind, and let them all grovel with apologies. Also dump the boyfriend who is weaponizing his profession to isolate and control you. also dump the boyfriend who is weaponizing his profession to isolate and control you. So OP responds, I propose to do this on the spot at the intervention, but they are convinced there are ways to fool them. My mom has said she won't believe me until I go into a rehab facility and a provider there confirms this.

But this requires me to actually get admitted. Oh my God. Like go to a doctor first. What the fuck is wrong with these people? They're so willing to, to, to just drop their, like their kid like that. This, this dude is like one of those people that could start a cult. Yeah. Like genuinely the way he's getting all of these people to believe him is terrifying.

I just started watching the show, Interview with a Vampire. Ooh, I keep seeing TikToks for it. I'm like, it looks really good. It was a really good pilot. And it's like, that guy is like, he just has this ability over people. Like just like, not even like physically doing anything,

but they're all just, they all want to believe him. Like that charisma, that ability to like just sell. Yeah. That's crazy that they're not even willing. They're like, yeah, no, there's ways. So it's like, no, come with me. Let's do this together. If you really care about me, you'll at least try this with me. You pick the doctor even.

You pick the time, place, when, where. Also, like rehab facilities are not super accessible. They're definitely not affordable. Like I know they can be thousands and thousands of dollars. So they're like, who's gonna pay for this? Like you want me to go here and to get a provider to prove, but like, are you paying for it? Yeah, and like, I don't know how long that stuff takes

and how long she has to be put into that situation. You know? I just think that's really sad that they're not even willing to take steps up to it. She'd be like, hey, let's do this together. And if it still doesn't satisfy you in that moment, then we can do this. Like, if you're really willing to take the time

to handle this with me, then handle it with me. I really, ah, man, I wish I knew more about how all of that went. The fact that they're just immediately wanting to send her with a rehab, but they've not had anything to show for it. No, I'm just blown away by this one. I would be in a mental tailspin myself,

because it's like, you're losing so much autonomy. Like everyone's against you, you're isolated because it's like, you're losing so much autonomy. Like everyone's against you. You're isolated. You literally like, yeah, like sounds like lives with the partner, a work colleague got involved. So I hope her job isn't in jeopardy. Like this is so bad. And the fact he invited a colleague makes me think it was so intentional to potentially

make her even more cut off. Like, oh, let me take away her income. Now she's even more reliant on me. He got everybody. Everyone. Because if I was a partner and I was that concerned and there was actually stuff there, I wouldn't be doing all that. I would talk to the family first and then let the family handle it because it's not up to me, bro. It's up to the family. Like I don't, I'm even if I'm the partner, I don't know that person as well as the family does.

Like that you're so right. It is extremely, extremely calculated. I just made myself really scared. Oh no, no, the colleague is, that's, that is the final nail in the coffin. Dude, if someone's partner invited me to like one of my colleagues' intervention, I'd be like, I can't go.

Yeah. I don't want no part in that. Like, I think you guys got it. You're good. I think you guys, that's enough probably. Oh my God, I'm like crying, I'm so uncomfortable. No, that is like, that is a nightmare scenario. Oh my God.

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Are you a hiker? I hike quite a bit. Do you really? Not like in the most recent, like last several months, really busy, but I've hiked a lot, like growing up and stuff. Have you ever done the Grand Canyon?

Never done the Grand Canyon, no. Okay, well, I'm not a hiker at all, so I'm really happy that I have you for this next one. Okay, cool. This is coming from Am I the Asshole? It is titled, Am I the Asshole for Parting with My Friend Midway Through a Grand Canyon Hike? My friend, Crystal Crystal and I spent six

months planning and training for a very intense all-day hike of the Grand Canyon. We would go down South Kabob, I'm gonna butcher the name so don't yell at me, and Upright Angel on Crystal's birthday in June, which would be over a hundred degrees. Two weeks before the hike our friend Valerie said she wanted to join us. Valerie looks way fitter than us. She does CrossFit and has a six pack, and so we assumed she would be fine. On the trip leading up to the hike,

Valerie was eating salad while Crystal and I were carb loading with pasta and pizza. Crystal and I each brought four liters of water, trail mix and granola bars, and believed Valerie had packed her bag with the same, as it was all in the hotel room for us to share when we packed the night before. About halfway down, Crystal and I realized that at the pace Valerie was going, and thus the rest of us, we would not finish the hike before sundown. We told Valerie about our concerns,

and she said we should just hike ahead without her, and that she would either catch up or, if it was too much, turn back. We asked if she was really sure about it, and she said that she was. So off we went. When we got to the bottom of the canyon, we waited for about an hour at the Colorado River, but did not see her. At that point, we really had to get going, so we would finish the trail before nightfall. We tried to call her from a payphone, but got her voicemail. None of us had reception.

We explained the situation to a ranger, and they said that they would look out for her. When we were close to the top and it was actually already dark, we got reception and got a message from her that she had collapsed and had to stay at the lodge at the bottom of the canyon. The lodge is booked months out, but I guess they had some emergency beds? She would hike out the next day with another group and said not to worry about her. Both Crystal and I were totally destroyed physically, but we got in the car and went and demolished a pizza, then went to sleep at the hotel.

Nice. Oddly, we found half of Valerie's water and all of Valerie's food at the hotel. I don't want to make too many assumptions about her, but I think it's clear enough to say that it seemed clear she didn't know how to eat during or before a hike, despite our guidance. The next day, Valerie said she would be up by 3 p.m. I was planning to pick her up. However, the one update we got from her was that she would be hours late. 6 p.m. rolled around and she still wasn't up. I left her voicemail letting her know we needed to continue on to our next hotel, one hour away. We were both feeling

pretty beat up and I didn't think I would have the energy to do the drive much later. I told her in the voicemail that I would pay for her to Uber to the hotel. Just tell me how much it is. Around 10pm Valerie called me, furious. It took her over 13 hours to hike up and she almost didn't make it. She was suffering from sunstroke. She said she could have died because we abandoned her and we were really selfish not to stay with her. So am I the asshole? Whoa. That's a big one. Like, wow. Oh my god, this sounds like my nightmare. I want to be honest.

Well, demolishing pizza and pasta, I'm like, let's go. Let's, love that. I'll floor that one. Dang, okay. So I know that like, I do, I love fitness. I weight drain a lot. And I've done some different types of fitness and stuff. And so even if this person does CrossFit or those other things, it doesn't equate to being able to hike a crazy hike.

Yeah, it's like such a different kind of training, it would seem. And it's like it's cardio. It's it's all these other things. And sounds like because I know some people when it's like a hike, it's a casual walk. Other people when they're hiking, they're like, let's go, because they have to meet a certain distance or get, you know, like to sundown at a certain point. And so it sounds like they assumed that she was physically able to do it, but like, sounds like they were pretty good at communicating with her the whole time.

Trying to, right? Like, I know there's no service, which also like, oh, it's such, that's such a scary thought. If this were me, I can't imagine like ever leaving my friend behind though. Like knowing I'm clearly a more experienced hiker, like it's kind of on you that you let her come with you. So to leave her out there. Yeah, I'm surprised that they didn't like,

you know, if they were still actively looking for her or when they finally got reception, I would have gone to the lodge just to visit. Yeah. You know, I don't know if it was like maybe because they needed to get back up at a certain point and maybe it wasn't until they were back up that they learned that's where she was. But I don't know, I would have definitely either been like, okay, so you're at the lodge, do you want us to come down and meet you? Or like, I don't know, what was the plan?

Like, did they have an agreed plan or? It seems like they were very structured out in their plan. Like they spent six months planning and training for this. Which also it's like, why would you invite someone else two weeks before? You had this plan, just stick to your plan. You don't know her level. Like, and again, with the fitness, like she does CrossFit and appears fit, but like you what? And you saw her eating a salad on the way up. Why didn't in that moment,

why didn't you say like, hey, you really going to need your energy? Like you should consider having some pizza, pasta, a burger, like, I don't, I don't know, like more hike dense food, whatever that looks like., like, I don't know, like more hike-dense food, whatever that looks like, but like... Yeah, no, it sounds like they were very experienced, cause like in my mind, if I'm eating pizza and pasta or whatever and I see that my friend's eating a salad, I'm like, huh, maybe they know more than me somehow,

or like, I don't know, but yeah, hiking, and it can be serious, you know, you're being left in the wilderness, and even if it's a well-known hike, like, it's scary. You really want to be making sure, like, I would have followed up with the ranger. I would have found any possible way before leaving that place to, like, physically check in with that friend. I know.

Because they are kind of your responsibility in a way. Like, obviously, if you're three adults, you're doing a thing, but you brought this person to a place you were a lot more prepared for. I know, that's how I feel. And then I think it really annoys me too with like, they were waiting around for her to get to that point. And she's like, I don't know if I, you know, I'm kind of tired. I don't know if I'll be able to do the hour drive.

So I'll just pay for her Uber. Mm-hmm. Are there even Ubers in the Grand Canyon? I don't know. No, definitely not. There's no way. Like, is she going to even be able to get an Uber out there? Well, did this friend ever reply to those messages? No, they just left. They were already at their hotel an hour away by the time they just left.

So it's like you didn't even, like, get a hold of her to be like, oh, okay, it's okay. You're actually, you're okay with taking an Uber. Right. There was no confirmation. That's weird. I would be so mad. I don't think I would be able to be friends with these people after this. Like you literally could have, I could have died.

And she almost did. She got sunstroke. Yeah, sunstroke is pretty serious in fact that they gave her an emergency bed. Like all of that sounds really intense. I don't think I would feel right if my friend, if I was in this situation, like as the person who'd been planning this, like I would have not been able to rest

until I saw that person face to face that day of the hike. Yeah. Like intense stuff. I know, especially like, this is your friend. Like, even the most prepared, intense, like, good hikers thought one guy had to cut off his own arm to make it out. Like, crazy stuff can happen. There's animals. There's people out there that are just scary. Like, the National Park true crime stuff. Yeah, just anything unfamiliar like that. Like it's a lot and you know,

getting lost on a hike is really common and no joke, especially if you're fighting sunlight. Like my dad and brother were firefighter paramedics who worked in air ops. Like they did a lot of hike rescues, a lot. Oh my God. It's super common. If you just accidentally go off trail,

you can't find your way back. Like anything can happen out there. I literally have you ever been to Malibu Creek State Park? Yes. I went up there and there's, there's like this swim pool and then you can jump off the rocks and then there's like a hill that like, it looks like it's going to be an easy, you know, climb and it would have a great view. And me and my friend went up there and we got to the top, like we didn't even

make it to the top because it started to be like so high and like steep. But we got up and we're like, do we have to call a helicopter? Like, I don't know if we can safely get down like just crazy stuff can happen. So to leave someone, I just, I don't like it. Yeah, no, I get that. Like, at first I was like, well, it sounds like they had rangers and there's other safety protocols, but I still wouldn't want to leave that person alone to deal with those things, especially if you're physically unwell. And it was a hundred degrees. We just had a heat wave here in LA.

I would literally be outside for 15 minutes and I was like, I'm good. I'm done. Yeah. Yeah. Me and Shane tried to do a flea market, like the Rose Bowl one. Oh no. And we shouldn't have lasted as long as we did.

It was so- How long were you out there? An hour on the blacktop. And the heat just radiates off the concrete. I was sweating and hurting and we didn't buy anything, obviously, we couldn't even compute what currency was at the end. You're just like so hot. Like, ugh.

Yeah. When you're like, I have like such a sensitivity to heat. It's like the Scandinavian in me. But I literally would be outside just standing there. And when you're just not doing anything and you have sweat rolling down your back, no. No. Mm. No. I'm like, I'm going to be, I feel like I'm just going to be mummified

and just fall asleep forever. I just can't handle the heat. Top comment on this one. When you are noticing she's eating a salad, I would have stopped her immediately. Better yet, don't invite people to go on difficult trails that you don't for sure know are experienced enough to have the long endurance required. Why not make sure she actually packed her food and water?

So many opportunities here to back out or advise. Since you did invite her and have her as a part of your group, you also took on the responsibility of making sure she doesn't die, which is exactly what you said. Like, yeah, they're three adults, but she kind of still did, like, take her on. Never leave your team on the trail. Take her back up. Send her to the hotel. Anything except just leave her. You're the asshole. Next time, don't take people with you on potentially deadly hikes. Yeah, like, I know it's one thing to be like, yeah, it's a challenging hike. Like, do you want to come? But being like, no, let me preface. It's this long for some people

and this long for, if it's even more challenging for people and being like, we're giving you this food and water because you need all of it. Like, yeah, it's hiking, especially if it's a challenging hike, you have to take it seriously. Me and Shane have done really challenging hikes where we have to wake up super early.

We don't just bring a couple water bottles. We bring like a camel back where it's like a bunch of water like on your back. He was very sweet. He made us little PB&Js at five in the morning and packed them in our backpack and like made sure that we rested when we rested and like definitely prefer doing it in the morning because you're not racing the sun. That's really true. You're racing the heat, but you still light and can see.

Yeah. Well, and like the Grand Canyon doesn't seem like it would be one of those hikes where there's trees to provide shade either, like somewhere like Yosemite or the Sequoia National Forest. Like you're just getting blasted. Yeah. And then like if it's getting darker, it's scary. There's no street lamps or any light. It is scary. I'm scared of the dark. Me too.

How do you do that? You don't. People do night hikes. I've done one before, I think, when I was in sixth or seventh grade, and I hate it. I can't. Oh my god, no. And then you start hearing twigs snap around you.

I'm a very paranoid person. I would be like, every moment. Oh my God. I'm like, I have anxiety just like hearing this. Yeah. There's a bunch of comments like basically highlighting how intense and dangerous it is. There's one that mentions like people go missing on these hikes all the time. You're the asshole. You agree to take someone with you on a hike. Like that, you stick together. She could have died. Doesn't matter how much she said to not worry about her. It's your job to worry about her when you're out doing something like that. It's quite possible her condition was making her dismissive, in fact. But you completely ignored that to make it sound like she gave you a pass.

Yeah. No, I think that's honestly really fair. Also when you're in the heat and stuff, maybe she's not even making the best calls. But you had multiple signs presented to you that this person wasn't on the same page. So you just being like, yeah, she says she's fine. So she's fine. When she doesn't know she's fine. She's clearly not fine. You just wanted an out,

because you were feeling bad and you were hoping that people would agree with you. Yeah. I think OP did realize that they were in the wrong, because this post has been deleted by the person who originally posted it. And their account has been deleted as well by them. So, yeah, I think they realized.

Okay. No update. Oh, well, I think they realized. No update. Oh, well, I'll hope. Better luck next time. Try again. Another one of this week's partners is Robinhood. With Robinhood Gold, you don't need a silver spoon to eat up the financial favors of the 1%. Robinhood Gold allows you to get the rates and perks usually received for the high society. Now, the resourceful individual with Robinhood Gold allows you to get the rates and perks usually received for the high society. Now the resourceful individual with Robinhood Gold can earn the very liberal rate of 4.5% APY on uninvested cash, receive unlimited 1% deposit bonuses, and be rewarded with a handsome 3% retirement boost on an IRA account.

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It is titled, Am I the Asshole for Not Giving My Sister My Wife's Clothes. My wife was a corporate lawyer and mediator. She had some very nice work clothes. She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and was gone in two years. The last six months of her life were hell. My sister, Sarah, didn't do jack shit for us during that time. My wife never liked her, and I do not like her. She is a selfish cow. Oh! At my wife's wake, she started asking about my wife's clothes, and I brushed her off. She wanted to pick out a few pieces to remember my wife by,

and I ignored her. It's been six months, and I've attended my mom's birthday, but I'm still not in the mood to deal with people. Then Sarah comes and starts asking about my wife's clothes again. I told her my wife wanted me to donate them to this women's shelter that she often helped at. It will help women in need with their own court cases, court appointments, and job interviews. My sister Sarah said that my wife was even selfish in death. I asked her what

the fuck did she mean? And she started going off on how my wife always thought that she was better than her. And it's not fair that the clothes are going to charity and not to family. I told my sister I would rather see my wife's clothes lit on fire than on her back. My sister started crying and my mom came over to see what was going on. My mom told me to be easy on my sister because she was taking my wife's death hard. The fucking insanity of that coming out of my mom's mouth made me grab my gift and leave. My mom acts like I had to ruin her birthday

by being melodramatic, but I cannot believe their emotional blackmail towards me over fucking clothes that they have no right to. Am I the asshole? Oh my goodness. No. Absolutely not. No.

Saying she's selfish in death for literally donating to charity and also not even just mindlessly donating to charity because people do that, we would be doing that. But being conscious this is a women's shelter that she actively participated in and worked with, with a specific like intention in mind with where her clothes were going.

Yeah, it was very considerate. And it was a request before she passed, honor it period. Even if it was selfish, even if it was like honor it, just honor it. It's a beautiful thing and yeah, it is what she wanted. And to start asking about these clothes at the wake, bro, she's not even in the ground yet. Literally not even in the ground. And you're concerned about her clothes?

I don't care if it's a Chanel two-piece suit. I don't give a flying fuck what it is. Be considerate. Be kind. Be caring. Be empathetic. Be human. You're being a monster. Absolutely. Like six months, he is still very much in grieving as well. So even six months out to bring it up again and then make it about you. And she escalated it first. She's saying some really insensitive, rude stuff about this woman who has passed away. And like, yeah, sure, my ears perked up.

I'm like, dang, she must have a really nice wardrobe. That's cool. But even if you're family by marriage, like that's a different layer of family. You are not entitled to that stuff by any means. If I had a loved one who had a partner who somehow I was being given that access to the close, I will be so honored, but never expect it. I have a great grandmother who had passed and she had only one daughter, but that daughter went on to have so many

kids and grandkids. I was meeting new cousins until I was in my 20s. Oh my gosh. So many family. And so the fact that I was able to get even one shirt and a spoon and a fridge magnet, I was like, this is special to me. I don't know. I feel like even to expect anything, it feels a little off.

It's not about me. It's about this person. And it's far more about OP than it is about anybody else in that moment. Yeah. Oh, I think you just nailed it all on the head. And it's like, it's really not about her. And yet, it's like being made about her. And it's like, she's trying to be like, I want something to remember her by. But it's like, you didn't care about her when she was here.

Like, they were, by the sounds of it, struggling. The last six months of her life were hell. And you didn't help at all. You didn't bake a casserole. You didn't, like, it doesn't sound like you were helping at all. So like, to remember her by? No.

Like, that's just a lie for you to get something. Yeah, like, which is it? Are you trying to remember her, or is she selfish either in death, even in death? Like, you're saying both of these things, so clearly, wherever you're coming from, it's ingenuine, and, like, I feel really bad that OP's mom is on her side.

Like, it just... It sounds really like they're both, like, selfish, and are not considering the situation in the way they should be. No, it's almost like she feels entitled to this, which is like so, so strange, because it's like, not yours, not connected by blood, it's through marriage. You didn't like her, you didn't help when she was sick,

and you think it's selfish that the clothes go to anyone but you? Yeah. Okay, you're weird. Yeah, because they're not going to waste. They're actually helping other people that need it way more than this sister. Well, that's such a thing too. If you think about where they're going, to be able to go to a shelter where these women might be going to job interviews and might not have something that's like presentable

to, you know, wear at an interview. Like that is the best place they could have gone. Like the best. Absolutely. And for anybody who had gotten it, then like if it was like a Ralph Lauren suit or something, they can get a job or they can sell it and use that money towards something else in their life

that they need, like just so much more helpful than than also just the way that the sister went about it. Like, it's okay to want things, but it's like the way she went about it is so inconsiderate. Ugh, I just can't. I can't with this one. Top comment, not the asshole. Besides the fact that you are following your wife's wishes, your sister is acting like a vulture. And why is your mother worrying about your sister taking your wife's death hard when you were the one who lost their wife? So no, you are doing nothing wrong here. You are still grieving. Your sister is treating you like a thrift store, and your mother is completely ignoring your grief

because another family member is better at being dramatic. Oh, tea. On the money though. There's only two comments from OP here. I would expect her to have some common sense and not ask in the first place. This is the first time I've even seen her since my wife's funeral. What? Why is it always about these clothes?

It's like she was waiting to talk about it. That's the first time they've seen shows since the funeral. And it doesn't even sound like there's been like an outreach of like, hey, how are you doing? I hope you're hanging in there, okay? Like, what? Nothing, yeah, so like it just goes to show. And I'm just getting creeped out

at the idea of them at the wake and her and this sister That quickly like I don't know because I don't think I've been to a wake in my adult life But isn't like the wake is when the coffin is like open Right. Yeah, it depending on if they're depending on if they do it or whatever It's kind of it's more of like a Catholic tradition. thought, like to have a wake and like usually it would be open. Um, but a lot of people are still doing like services, like a visitation and calling it a wake. I get confused with all the lingo, but it's, yeah, it could be open, could not be, could be the little box. You just never know.

You never know. My fear was like, if it was the traditional true to term wake, that the sister's looking on this woman's body and being like, that jacket looks really nice. I wonder if they're going to take that off before she goes down in there. Probably like, what? Wow, what did they pick? Not the Chanel. Yeah. Not the Dior bracelet.

You don't need to be buried with Yeah. Not the Dior bracelet. Ugh. You don't need to be buried with shoes. Come on. The ring, I can see her just like. Please, please. Taking the jewelry off. You know there's people out there that do that shit. No, yeah.

Like she's not gonna be buried with that ring. I wouldn't put it past the sister, truly. Oh, wild. The other comment from OP is someone asking, like, what would you have wanted your sister to do for you during this time? Which like, okay, asshole. And OP goes, anything. A word of encouragement while my wife was sick, flowers, kindness. So she didn't do literally anything. That's wild. Literally nothing.

I hate her. Yeah. And that's a very interesting question. I think it's a fair question to ask of like, what would you have wanted? But like, it's like the proof's in the pudding of everything that the sister has said and done. Like there's nothing to question here. She wasn't a nice person. No, she doesn't deserve those clothes. No, and the wife, you know, sounds like they were really, really awesome.

I know. Trigger warning on this next one, friends. It does contain talks of child loss. So if you feel you can't handle that today, please skip ahead. Okay, last one for you. I'm giving you a choice on it. Okay.

Okay. The first option is from the Too Hot Takes subreddit. It is titled, Evil Step Grandmother Stole My Wedding Day and Venue. Or, Am I the Asshole for Purchasing a Home with a Pool and Triggering My Mother-in-Law? Oh boy. I know. Those both honestly sound good. Oh, shoot.

Wedding ones are always like, but the pool one is intriguing because it's unique. It's picking your interest. And I have personal experiences that might connect to it. Okay, let's do it. Okay. Okay, so this is four days old, again titled, Am I the Asshole for Purchasing a Home with a Pool and Triggering My Mother-in-Law? 37 female here.

I'm a mother to seven-year-old twins, boy and girl, and a five-year-old girl. My husband and I decided to move back to our hometown so we could get closer to both of our families. Our hometown is a lazy beach town and I've been living in cities since college. It's not my ideal location, if I'm honest, but I am excited about being outdoors and in the water more. My husband and I made a deal that since I agreed to move and find a new job that we would get a house with a pool, which is something I've wanted since I was a deal that since I agreed to move and find a new job that we would get a house with a pool, which is something I've wanted since I was a kid. It's not actually that serious, but it's something I've been excited about since we

decided to move. My husband and I found the perfect house, and we're currently in escrow. The house is walking distance from the beach and my parents, and each of my kids get their own room and there's a pool with a water slide. We're all so excited. Some important context is that my husband was actually the oldest of four kids and the only girl in the family who was also the baby passed away when she was 11. Oh shit. She was swimming with her friends in a lake, got caught in some shrubbery and drowned.

It was tragic for the entire family. And I don't get the sense that my mother-in-law has ever recovered. My husband's home is filled with pictures of his little sister. The kid's bedroom is basically a shrine to her. And my mother-in-law gets teary anytime she sees one of my two daughters. My mother-in-law has always been kind to me

and is a wonderful grandmother, and so it's difficult seeing her so sad. Yesterday, my husband and I were on FaceTime with his parents, and I sent them pictures of the house we're moving into. My mother-in-law's face went white, and she asked how we could possibly move into a house with a pool with three young children. I explained that my kids are all great swimmers, and we've told them that there's absolutely no swimming without one of us there, and that we're getting a gate with a lock and alarm installed around the pool so that they can't get into it without us. My mother-in-law started crying and saying that drowning

is the leading cause of death for young people. She also said she couldn't believe we'd be so reckless with the lives of our three beautiful children. My husband tried to calm her down, but she was furious and hung up the phone. Whoa. My husband now feels terrible and says we should have thought more about moving

into a house with a pool. He's not worried about something happening to our kids because we're going to take the proper precautions. He's worried about his mom's mental health. He says his parents will never be able to come over now because his mom will be watching the kids and the pool obsessively. He also says we're probably not going to be able

to do holidays or parties at our house because his mom will be even more anxious with all of her young grandkids near the pool. I've seen her anxiety around kids in the water firsthand. Once we were at a family reunion and there was a lazy river at the hotel. And my four-year-old nephew who couldn't swim was wearing a life vest and flipped over

for about two seconds. My mother-in-old nephew, who couldn't swim, was wearing a life vest and flipped over for about two seconds. My mother-in-law jumped in. She was wearing a dress and heels and grabbed him right away. Please tell me if I'm a total asshole, but I don't think we were wrong to purchase a house with a pool. My mother-in-law has serious trauma,

which I understand. But if we listened to all of her worries, our kids wouldn't be able to do anything. For example, our son wants to take surfing lessons, and my mother-in-law is against this because she also thinks that the ocean is too dangerous. We also put our youngest daughter in swim lessons very early, a bit over a year old, because we wanted her to be safe and comfortable in the water. My mother-in-law said this was way too young and dangerous. And I said it was a great teacher and I was in the water during the lessons. My mother-in-law was still furious.

All of this to say, maybe we were a bit too insensitive moving into a house with a pool, but she's triggered by much of what we do. So am I the asshole? That sucks. And it's what I thought. Really? Yeah. Yeah. It's really tough and that's really sad. And losing a child, period, is devastating. And like, it's a dangerous thing. Like owning a pool, it's a dangerous thing. My cousin drowned in my family's pool. Oh no.

I don't remember it, but my older siblings remember it. My mom was never the same, but we still have the pool. We did have a gate then, but it was a gate that was faulty and hadn't been fixed. So that happened. Yeah and hadn't been fixed. And so that had happened. And yeah, like it's super, it's super common. But it sounds like OP was really intentional with this. And it's not like they were carelessly choosing a home that happened to have a pool.

They wanted that for themselves. And like, I think that the grandmother is obviously valid in her concerns, but you can't impact other people's lives so heavily like that. I specifically got frustrated about this child has a dream to learn how to surf. You can't let your own personal stuff that isn't 100% going to happen to every person affect this child's future. You never know what you're affecting.

Like, you can't do that. No, and it's like, if it's not the pool, then it's the ocean that's walking distance away. Yeah, like, are your kids allowed to get wet? Like, and also the grandma's not always around. She's not aware that these kids probably go to the pool at other instances, but like, it sounds like OPs really practices pool safety and like, there's only so much you can do to cushion

another person's fears. It's a serious topic, but like this grandma needs to either get some therapy. I know it's like she's probably late in her life, but it's like, these are generations to come that you're reducing, you're limiting their lives in a lot of ways. And like, this one, OP wanted a pool since she was a kid, and that was one of the things that they wanted. Everyone else is happy about it. I'm going to keep ranting just for one more. Like, these kids, she was making a point to teach these kids how to swim at an early age, and even that was upsetting to the grandmother. Like, that's what you want to do. You don't want them to not know how to swim, because early age and even that was upsetting to the grandmother. That's what you want to do.

You don't want them to not know how to swim because then if they accidentally fall in at that age, then they're never going to be okay. What is the... There's no perfect way to handle this, clearly. And those swim classes, especially when they're so young, are so amazing. They will actually have the kids, like in a lot of them, fully dressed, and they'll like push the kid in the pool, like unexpectedly, which like, I don't know,

it could be a little traumatic for them. But then they like, they teach them like, okay, if you fall in with your clothes on, this is what you should do. Try to just like flip over and float to get like air. Like there's like so many of those early intervention swim classes that teach them life-saving skills.

So to like be upset about that, it is interesting. But like, first and foremost, like, thank you for picking this story and being like so willing to share with something you have such a personal connection to because like, you very easily could have picked the other one. And like, it is like a hard thing to talk about, but it can affect so many people. Like, I mean, there's so many people that invented like swim safety things because of a traumatic thing

that they went through. So I think this actually does affect a lot of people, but I don't think I have much else to say. Like, I think you hit it on the head with like, she needs to go to therapy. And I know a lot of like older generation, like they don think you hit it on the head with, like, she needs to go to therapy. And I know a lot of, like, older generation, like, they don't necessarily buy into that. And she could be very set in her ways. But I can't imagine just, like, living with that constant anxiety. She doesn't

deserve to have that. And if there's any bit of peace she could find with therapy, like, it's worth giving a shot. Yeah. And I also wonder, like, obviously the daughter was really young when she drowned. But like, do you think that that person would want that for generations to come to never be able to enjoy life? And like, the fact that it was like a lake and a shrub, like, that's a really unfortunate, but very specific situation. Like, just wild. really unfortunate but very specific situation. Like-

Just wild. Alternately, Shane drowned when he was young, young, young. Like, I think a toddler. Like- What? Like under a year or a year old. Yeah, he's like, this is known in the Smosh lore and they joke about it all the time.

But yeah, and his mom resuscitated him. It's super common. It's super common. Holy shit. I didn't, Okay, like you have firsthand experience. He literally... What? It is... This is way more common than I would have expected. Totally. But I don't think it should limit people's lives to that degree. Like, I would even go so far as to... I want to still be able to have family gatherings, but maybe I'll hire a lifeguard

for that. That's super smart. So even if there isn't parents actively watching, there's someone literally being paid to do that. That is really, really smart. Something like that. You're a little genius over there. Oh, thank you.

You know? Wow. And that would be such an easy fix. Or literally, no one goes outside, there's no pool access during family events, that is a boundary. There's also, you can do the fence, the gate, the alarm, everything they're doing. But I've also seen this one, it literally goes atop the cross. Those really good pool covers.

It's almost like a net, but you can have a full-fledged 200 pound adult step on it and they just bob on the water. I've seen those. Those are cool. Like there's so many ways they could do and like have the mother-in-law come over and test it. Like here you stand on it, see it's safe. Kids accidentally get past the gate, get past the alarm. They're still good. Like maybe smooth her fears. But I don't think you're the asshole for buying the house you want. I mean, it's tough. And you, you know, you feel bad for her and you want a good relationship with her. But you also, like you said,

like you do have to keep living your life and not, you know, live in bubble wrap. That's not reasonable. Yeah. You keep like, like you want them to know how to handle those situations too, because you're, she's, grandma can't be around always. And like, this kid wants to surf. I think that's amazing. Surfing is scary and hard, but going to the beach, like I can't even, sometimes I'm too scared to go in the ocean because those waves be pounding down on me. I'm like, am I going to make it?

But like, yeah, like you can't, oh, when it starts impacting the potential futures of generations to come in a negative way, it's like, come on, let's break the cycle. I think they need to. It's time. It's time to break it and maybe get grandma some therapy, which is what the top comment mentions.

Mother-in-law needs therapy. She's never really dealt with her loss. And then next comment, yeah, and the kids may not understand why grandma is so sad looking at them. That has to be confusing. Next comment, my grandmother cried when I was a kid because she wanted a girl, despite only choosing to have one kid, which was my dad. Now she cries because I look like him and he died. My granddad told me in secrecy that he can't even look my brother in the eyes anymore. It just makes me feel like shit.

And I'm not going to tell my brother what was said. I get missing him, but you can't even look at us? Jesus. Yeah, it's at a certain point you're putting certain things ahead of others that, you know, this person who passed obviously was an important person, but you also have these other loved ones right in front of you right now. Yeah. Yeah. No comments from OP, no update, account has been suspended at this point in time.

Interesting. Yeah, which I wouldn't have pegged this one to be one of those. Like, I don't know, interesting, but maybe we'll get an update from a new account or something like that. But Courtney, thank you so much for coming on. Thanks for having me. This was really great. I feel bad that I picked a story at the end that's kind of sad.

But I truly like, I hope that family, they picked an amazing home that sounds like heaven to me, a pool and walking distance from the beach. Like, don't let the past ruin a potential paradise life for you guys. And yeah, your show is so great. You have great stories. You pick great stories. I was sitting here stressed and all morning.

I went over them with Jenna. I was like, what about this one? Ooh, this one's not. No, this isn't good enough for Courtney. No. So I'm so happy to have you on. You do amazing work over at Smosh'm so happy to have you on. You do amazing work over at Smosh.

You have so much going on, but where can people, where do you want to send them? Where do you want them to engage with you? Because you have your own YouTube channel, but then you're big at Smosh, so where would you like people to find you? Thank you. You can catch me on Smosh Pit, Smosh Games,

Smosh main channel, where we have a new show called Bit City. It's really fun. It's kind of like our own little late night show meets SNL, where we're doing sketches and stuff. It's really fun. Check it out. It's really good. And then, yeah, there might be some new stuff coming out, but it's too soon to say. I'm Comel on social media, if you want to check me out there.

I know. I was creeping on your Instagram and your fashion sense. I'm just like obsessed. I'm like, okay, where's that necklace from actually? Oh, thank you. I'll send the link. Okay, good. I've been staring at it all day. I'm like, I love it. This is actually our CEO's sister who makes jewelry. So I'll definitely send you the book. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. Thank you. Thank you again. Head over to Patreon if you want some more crazy stories. September has a unreal full bonus episode with Lauren of more of our need a minute to decompress theme.

There's gonna be some live show content. So head over there. Other than that, until next time guys, bye. Bye bye. Bye bye. Thanks for watching!