Two Hot Takes - 46: Divorce? or Nah... ft. Sarah Schauer

Episode Date: December 16, 2021

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Sarah Schauer!! Sarah is a fan of divorce, and brings her expertise to these stories. Buckle up guys the second to last one is just.. a lot. Checkout Sarah's channel at -> https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1T0JN1hhHfNsiKtqKn_dEQ Bonus stories found on our Patreon :)  https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes

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No one helps more homeowners than Any Hour Services. You're out of breath when you start. Guys, welcome back to Two Hot Days. I am literally, I had COVID a year ago. Oh god, it's almost two years. It'll be two years in June. And I feel like I never got my endurance back. I like walk up a flight of stairs and I feel like I'm dying.

Oh dang, I didn't know. Do you have COVID? What was that like? It was not fun. Oh, I'm sorry about that. Yeah, no. The first and smell part was probably the worst. I cried so much.

Did you get that back? Yeah, but like stuff, like bad smells smell really bad. Oh damn. Really bad still. Like garbage? Yeah. Oh god. It's terrible.

And like coffee for the longest time tasted like dirt. Well, it tastes like dirt. Yeah, it's true. That is true. But yeah, it was, oh my god, it was a big pain in the ass. I'm sorry. No, hence the booster. I got my third shot feeling great yesterday was rough.

You got it like two days. Oh yeah. You got it like two days ago. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, Tuesday. Tuesday. Yeah.

Nice. Knocked me on my ass. Oh damn. And you've already been having a week. A week. A week. I've been having a week. That's how I feel.

It's something so funny. It's like I've been having a week. A week. And these stories are just gonna top it off for us. You want a divorce. Yes, I did. I feel like I'm like cozying up like readying for, like preparing for my nighttime story. Yeah, that's exactly what this is.

This is the worst moment of someone's life. Let's get cozy and enjoy it. Yeah. No, I mix it up on you though. Okay. So you want a divorce and you're getting divorced, but mixing it up on you. So some of them are like divorce and then some of them are like not divorce. So you have to pick out what ones you think are truly divorce worthy.

Are you saying like these people should get divorced or are they in the process of getting divorced? Potentially both. Okay. So essentially the theme is going to be divorce or nah. Okay, yeah. You just got to call it. Yes.

What do you think of the chaos? Okay, I need to hear it first because I'm a huge advocate for divorce. I'm not like one of those people who's like knee jerk, like oh you need to get, like he didn't like get your order from Subway divorce. I'm very like considerate with my divorce, you know, bang my gavel. I think these stories will be perfect for you then. Okay. Let's contemplate.

Okay. Hi guys, welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes. I'm joined today by Ms. Sarah Shower. Hey guys. Our divorce expert. I love divorce. That sounds weird but I have videos on YouTube so just if you look at that later you'll understand. You have to check them out.

They're good. They're good. So some of these relationships are dying just like my lovely flowers here, hence why they're here today. Oh yeah, it's their last leg. Their last leg just like some of these relationships. Yep. Let's hear it.

Okay. Do you, I like, people were fighting in my YouTube comments last time. Why? About your pronouns. Yeah. What do you like to go by? It's she, they. So you can use either one.

It's not, what's crazy is that people think that's order of priority. Okay. I mean it could be for a lot of people like if they do they, she, they're probably trying to emphasize that they want to use they more. You could use she or they and you can alternate. You can say she sucks but they rock in the same sentence, you know, and it will be perfectly fine. Okay, good.

Oh my God. I had a panic attack after last time. I was like, oh my God, what was I referring to Sarah as? No, you're fine. Okay. Okay, here we go. Am I the asshole for how I reacted after I found out my husband ran a secret background check on me before we got married?

We've been married for three years and I only just found out recently that before we got married, my husband ran a background check on me and my family. I found out because we were on vacation with his family and they were doing things I had no interest in participating in a few times. So I stayed behind. He let me borrow his laptop because I left mine at home. I made a folder with my name and I was searching for it when I found another folder with my name.

The folder was full of reports on me, my family, including extended family, and two of my childhood friends. I read as much of the reports as I could before my husband and his family came home for the day. At first I was just hurt. He would do something like this without talking to me first, but as I read more and started finding out things about my family and friends that I never even knew, I started to get angry. It's hard to put it into words, but I felt like I had gone cold all over, but also like

it wasn't me reading these things. So when I saw my husband, I exploded on him in front of his family. At first he tried to say it wasn't a big deal and his cousin chimed in to say it was normal and he wasn't the only one who had done it in their family. When he saw I wasn't calming down, he tried to get me to go into our room so we could talk about it privately, but I told him I wasn't going anywhere with him and I was leaving. My husband told me to stay and he would sleep somewhere else or he would leave, but we were staying in a house owned by his parents.

And it felt weird for me to stay and make him leave, especially since his family was there still too. I ended up staying at a hotel for the night and we both flew home shortly after that, cutting the vacation short. Am I the asshole? I think this one is really difficult because I don't think that background checks are inherently bad. I would have loved to have run some background checks on people I've gone on dates with.

So I totally understand, especially if he's going to eventually run for political office or something like that, I would understand that. It depends on his reasoning. I would like to hear why he did it because it is crazy, but also if you're going to run a background check on someone, it's normal to not run it by them first. I feel like if I dated guys and I went on a date with a guy and I was like, hey, dude, just heads up, I'm going to run a background check on you, that would actually probably not go over well as well.

So I think that he obviously didn't take any action from it. He's still dating you after three years. I wouldn't say he's the asshole. I would just love to hear his reasoning as to why, a little bit more about him and his family. If his family is just like super judgmental, then that is asshole-ish, but I wouldn't say it's inherently asshole-ish. He's just probably protecting himself from something.

I agree. The comments on this one were like, so the top comment, not the asshole. What the utter fuck? Next one. I feel like people voting the asshole are massively overlooking this blatant betrayal and violation. And I'm just like, there's people that just like pop off and they're like divorce him. This is so bad.

And I'm like, I actually kind of like it. Yeah, I wouldn't think that's a divorceable offense. I mean, like, think about like, if you go on a date with someone, you probably look at their social media, you would probably go through their tag photos. And if you have their family's background, I mean, I know that's like creepy, but like I've seen like who their dentist is. Does that mean that like I'm actually like, it's just like, I want to make sure that they're a real person and they don't end up hurting me somehow.

Especially in like this modern day age of catfishing. Yeah. You have to do digging before. Yeah. Catfish before. I feel like that's not that weird of a thing. Or even just like sexual assault, like I know, I know people that have like Googled someone before they went on a date with them and like their Google search brought back like rape

trials. Yeah. I went on a date with the like when in South Carolina when I did date dudes, I went on a date with a guy and he seemed very normal online, but when I met him, he kept talking about this one girl that went to Clemson and like her schedule and stuff like this. And I was like, were you guys friends? He's like, no. He just like was so in love with her that it like, I actually had to like escape from

the date. But so I would have loved, I would have loved a background check because he was a normal guy on his profile. But when you met him in real life, you're like, oh my God, dude, you're detached. And now I worry about this girl who went to Clemson like all the time. I know. Maybe we should Google her and make sure she's like still, still kicking. I have his photo and I want to do a reverse image search later just to see if he's ever

come to. Yeah. Let's do it. So I, I would agree. I don't think this one's divorce worthy. No. I think the only weird part was like who he picked, like picking the person you're dating for a background check seems normal.

Yeah. I like it. Family. Okay. Make sure her dad's not a murderer or whatever. But then like childhood friends. Like that's weird. He really deep dived.

Yeah. I mean, unless your childhood friends are your current day best friends, that would maybe make sense. But if they're like people that you knew, like you went to your elementary school like picture like book or something. Oh my God. That'd be weird. That's really weird.

That would be a little goofy. Yeah. Okay. Moving along. Am I the asshole for breaking my promise to my husband and letting others meet our newborn son before him? I female 25 moved away from my town and to my husband's male 32 hometown after we got married.

The main reason is because he suffers from a medical chronic condition and needs to be near his family. I was pregnant with our first baby and was nearing my due date when my husband had to travel out of town for work for two weeks. Because of this, he couldn't be with me in the delivery room, which wasn't expected. I wanted to ask my mom to come be with me, but he assured me that his family are there to help and I shouldn't be worried. He then made me promise that I don't let anyone see our son for the first time in person

before him besides his stepmom, who was supposed to be there for me and I agreed. His stepmom was with me when I went into labor, but she stayed away since she is the type that doesn't get too involved and keeps her distance. She's also the quote, I don't do diapers type, meaning she doesn't offer help with the baby and I shouldn't be expecting it. She dropped me and my son off at home and asked that I only call if there's an emergency. I felt helpless. I asked my neighbor for a few favors, but needed real help with the baby.

So I called my mom, she knew I'd just given birth and asked if she could come help me. And she drove four hours to come stay with me. She helped out tremendously and I am so, so grateful for that. My husband stayed away for a few more days than came home. Once he saw my mom, he got super upset, repeatedly saying I broke the promise that I made him by not letting others meet our son before him. And I explained that I needed help and he brought up his stepmom, but I replied that she dropped me off and left.

That's it. Besides he and my mom are on good terms. I didn't get why he was mad. She met her grandbaby, which was inevitable. He said it wasn't about mom since it could have been anybody else, but it was about me disrespecting his wishes and breaking the promise I made. He reminded me that he's also the parent and he gets to say too. At this point, I said he was overreacting, but he replied that I forever tainted the

memory of his son's birth and broke his trust and proved to him that my word quote is worth shit now. Mom tried to give us space, but I said she did nothing wrong. She came to help after a stepmom left, so I can't be blamed for asking for help. He told me to stop giving him excuses and admit I wronged him with what I did and then started avoiding me and just kept focusing his attention on our son. He keeps acting cold towards me, calling me a selfish promise breaker and expecting me to make it up to him.

He wanted an apology, but I haven't given him that yet. Am I the asshole? You expect me to believe that a man with a chronic condition that must stay in his hometown cannot understand when someone needs help from their family. You literally made your wife move because you need help from your family, so she returns home from the hospital and no one's there to help her. You can't extend her like, oh, I get it. It would make sense.

It would be infuriating if your wife invited people over and had a party. She invited her mother over, and I know that he doesn't care that it's her mother. It's just the promise, shut up, dude. The irony. Yeah. You already acknowledged that your stepmom and you aren't close, so why would she offer help with a baby? I think that he's being overdramatic and a little bit, what's that thing, hypocritical.

Oh, the biggest hypocrite, the control. This is so controlling for me that I'm actually scared. You did make your wife move to your hometown. You do have a reason for it, but you are isolating someone away from help. It seems a little bit controlling. 1,000%. I think the fact too, I get it's a work trip, but if you said, hey, my wife gave birth, I need to cut this trip short, you could probably go home.

Not only you have a baby, you stay in the hospital typically for a couple of days, depending on your insurance, sometimes they rush you out, but not only did he not make it back towards the end of her hospital visit, but then she was home and he stayed away days extra too. Just ballparking it, he was gone from the time she gave birth, at least five, six, maybe even seven days that she was on her own. He extended his trip. I don't know any parents who they just have a child give birth and they're like, you know

what, I think I could spend a couple more days at the hotel or this work conference. What is sense does that make? I want to spend more time at work. No, you sound like a jackass. What job won't understand? My wife just gave birth. Yeah. Who do you work for?

The president? That would make sense if you were a president's bodyguard, but I swear to God, if you work for Costco or something, you should be home. What job do you have? If you're a resident surgeon and you're needed, then sure. But I don't think that it's that- Performing fucking heart transplants. Yeah. You're folding shirts at Old Navy?

No, go home. Get your ass home. So she does give a little like edit here. We did talk to each other on the phone several times and he already knew that his stepmom refused to stay with me and told me to just call if something happens. But I didn't tell him about calling my mom, knowing he'd react and decided to wait until he got home so we could talk about it. You shouldn't have to have permission to have your mom come over and help you.

Yeah. And also I would hate if I just had a baby and like they are stressful, I'm assuming in the first couple of days. And then your husband come home and be a dick too. There's a baby crying and now there's a big grown man crying. That's so annoying. This is abusive too. Like him ignoring her and then just like doting on their baby, which yeah, okay, new baby,

you're going to be excited. You're going to want to like doad on them. But like he is stonewalling her. Yeah. So hard. Yeah. I, this doesn't make any sense. No, he's being controlling.

You're not the asshole at all. No. No. I am outraged at this one. I'm keeping it together. I'm keeping my composure, but like I'm, I want to find him. I'm just mad that it's like so hypocritical. You need help from your family.

That's why you stay close and someone else needed help from their family and you can't extend that sort of understanding. I, I do not like you. I hate it. Top comment on this one, not the asshole. He prevented you from organizing help for yourself. He didn't come home after the birth. My significant other would be single and I mean that.

Yeah. I don't know about single, but I definitely tell him to like eat it. I have my mom over when I tell him to eat it. She doesn't even talk about her birth either. Like if you have a C-section, like they're cutting through your abdominal muscles. Yeah. That takes a while to come back from. So you're stressed out already.

You probably were in labor and then something happens. You're just stressed and then there's a woman in the waiting room who could not care less. No. And then you have to go home. Don't have any help. I don't, I mean, I've never been like ripped through the middle, but I imagine sitting up and like, it's just so stressful. Yeah.

My stomach hurts thinking about this. Oh my God. I, no, I would not be able to go through birth alone. No. Props if you have like the strength, holy smokes. Yeah. He's dead weight right now. No.

I cried on the last episode like reading a happy wholesome Christmas story. Like me giving birth alone, I would, I'd be like, nope, stay in there. We're not doing this. We're doing birth alone. And then my partner has the option to come home early, but they don't take it. Dead. Yeah. It's going down on site.

Yeah. So someone replies to the top comment, yeah, I would OP, need to get rid of the ultimate asshole. OP just had a baby and he's out of town. His stepmother left her alone. And can someone guess how hard it is for her? She has every right to call her mother and I think her husband is so selfish. Yeah.

Yeah. No, they, they tear them, they tear them apart. I love it. Yeah. A lot of people are calling out the abuse. We struggled to recognize this type of abuse because it's not physical and it seems like it's helpful because he gave her the option of help. Even though I'm sure he must have known his stepmom isn't the most hands on and he seems

to want to be involved as a parent, hence demanding to be the first to see his son, which is how others would interpret that command. So for many, he's showing that he cares about her by ensuring she has someone when he's not around, while also being an engaged and enthusiastic parent. The reality is that he wants to meet his son under his preferred conditions, regardless of reality. And he wants to control all the pieces to ensure that it happens the way he wants. And his wife, stepmom and son are merely the pieces he's moving around to create his perfect

image. Yeah. This person, this person gets it. This one's divorce worthy for me. It really is. I would say wait until you feel strong enough and that's just, you know, it's a scar on your abdomen and nothing more. Or tear in your favorite eye.

You know what's crazy? It's easier to heal a tear than a cut. So like if you rip open your skin, it's like it's going to heal better than if you cut it open. Yeah. It's wild. I didn't know. Why is that though?

We're going to have to Google it after. We will. I'm so curious. I'm also now that I'm thinking about him and how crazy he is, I'm actually kind of glad that he wasn't there when she gave birth because he might be the type of person to literally like look at the doctor and be like at a husband's kitchen. Yeah. I hate that.

Yeah. He does seem like that type. Like, thank God he wasn't there. No. I feel like he'd be the type. It'd be like, don't even give her a C-section, like let her go through like normal childbirth. Epidural. I feel like she has the choice.

Epidural. No, she doesn't need that. Yeah. Why would she make the easy choice? Let's just, you know, it's like, dude, shut up. I literally, I don't remember who it was with, but it was like a group of friends and significant others around like a campfire having conversations and somehow childbirth got brought up. And this man had the audacity to say, I don't believe women should get epidurals because

I think it allows them to bond with the baby more when they go through natural childbirth. I think that's, I've, okay. So like on the last podcast I did with you, people got mad at me because I was too violent. So I'm going to try to like soften this as much as I can. I think that man should be tied to a fence. I don't think that that is a valid opinion to have. So invalid. So invalid.

Like, excuse me, sir. Are you the one pushing a fucking watermelon out of your vagina? Yeah. And everyone knows that like the most important part afterwards is like skin to skin. That's the, that's the, like, what are you even saying? What the fuck? Traumatic? Like birth is traumatic for both mom and baby.

Yeah. Why make it any harder than it needs to be? What'd your friend say? I don't think she really realized. You should have said it down the next day and been like, listen, dude, if you get pregnant, we're like going to sneak you off to a different, like a hospital than him. I know. Oh God.

It was just chaos. I was like, this is not real. Like this is literally not real. Like what women do in their birth plan is not up to their significant other or their sperm donor, their partner, whoever it is. Like, no. I just like, you know, you hear about like stupid people like that and then you meet them in real life and you're like, oh my God, dude.

You're real. You're like that dumb. You're in real life. It's like seeing a fucking unicorn. Yeah. But like what? Like an evil unicorn. Yeah.

Like a deformed unicorn that just like, you, I don't know. It's like, well, unicorns are inherently deformed because they're not natural. But um, he's just, he's, oh my God, I would, I would like punch him. I'm sorry. I can't get violent. I'm not going to be violent. No, I like, I like it. I loved it last time.

I was like, yes. And so many people were like, thank God, Sarah's on, like they said exactly what I was thinking and feeling and they just, they articulated it so well and I was like, mm hmm. I just like what I, I can't wrap my mind around is that there are probably women who listen to this podcast who are like, no, that's not like Sarah, don't be rude about that. Yeah. He believes that like, you know, women should experience the ultimate pain fully and awake,

but don't be mean to him. He's a nice guy. Sometimes people deserve to get smacked up side the head, you know, they really do. Just a little bop. Yeah. A little bop. Hey, it's Bobby Bones. You know, people choose Morton buildings to build a variety of buildings for their property

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Mortonbuildings.com. Well, I got another one, another baby problem. Okay. I just, yeah, all right, we're getting into it now, first one was a cake walk, we're getting into it. Am I the asshole for refusing to babysit our daughter? Babysit your daughter? Oh my God.

Keep going. I, 29 male, bought my wife, 25 female, two tickets to visit her grandma in Italy next week. The other ticket was for our daughter, four female, since I assumed she'd be taking her. She says she wants a break quote from kids on her vacation. I told her that that was unfortunate since there's no way that she can go if our daughter doesn't go because I have work and don't want to take time off to babysit our daughter for an entire week.

I suggested we have someone else watch her, but we don't know anyone that lives close by who'd be willing to watch her. I love my daughter, but I don't want to take a week off to babysit her. Additional information. I bought the tickets for her birthday. My wife is a stay at home mom slash homemaker. Okay, here's the thing. You're a fucking dickwad because you're not babysitting your own child.

You're being a parent to your own child. If you are a unit and the child is yours, you're not babysitting it, you're being a parent. Also just because she's a homemaker doesn't mean that she doesn't get time off. Do you get time off from your job? They literally did like this like assessment of like how much stay at home's mom should make. It's like over $100,000 a year. It's a lot.

Because most jobs are like nine to five, like eight hours a day. Homemaker being a mother, 24 seven. Even if you're an IT tech and you have to work literally 24 seven, you wake up at 3AM and you can't complain because someone is crying because they need your help. So that doesn't make any sense. She needs the most time off and the fact that you can't take a week off for your wife. A week. A week.

And it's not even, you would just be, you would be working from home, I assume if you could. I mean, if you can't. Yeah. But that's, that's such bullshit. You're such a dickwad. I, I, yeah, I think you said it perfectly. It's not babysitting when it's your child, like point blank.

And the fact, yeah, a week. People that work regular jobs, nine to five, first of all, they get nice health insurance. They get benefits. They get PTO. You don't get that as a stay at home mom. Yeah. Legally, she should get two fucking weeks off. She really should.

And it's like, oh my God. The fact that the thing is, is like, if you consider her like, you, you consider her, what she's doing as babysitting, therefore it is a job. Like you recognize what she does as a job. And if you recognize it as a job, she must get time off because everyone gets time off even for holidays. But you can't cause it's, oh my God, dude, you sound like an asshole. Oh yeah.

That was, that was the vote on the thread too. And the top comment, you're the asshole. It isn't babysitting when it's your kid. Yeah, it's not. Uh-uh. We're all, we're all on the same page here. I like it. Yeah.

Let's translate this. I can't be bothered to take time off work to spend with my daughter because work is easier. Yeah, it is. Your job is easier than, you would choose your job over taking care of your family. Like imagine that like in any other scenario. That's really crazy when you put it that way. Like I, my job is easier than helping out my family. I guess I'm a YouTuber, so I'm pretty jaded.

But this, that sounds so sad. No, but like when, I'm like, I just like had an epiphany too when you put it that way because it's like by him adding like additional info. My wife is a stay-at-home mom slash homemaker. He's almost like doing her disservice by saying that, like, oh, that's all she is. And like a lot of people do do this on Reddit in their posts. They're like, my wife is just a stay-at-home mom, like just. And it's like, well, okay, well, just, but yet you won't do it for just a week, not even full time.

You won't, if you think it's so lowly, then you should be able to do it very easily. It's not just anything. Oh my God. I'm mind blown. Yeah, poor lady. Like the last thing you want to do is travel to Italy. Like who knows where they live. If it's a 12 hour flight, if it's a 20 hour flight, layovers,

going abroad with a four year old when you're trying to just go see family, you probably haven't seen in forever. Sounds like my little nightmare. Yeah. And like if you love your daughter, like if, okay, so I mean, I guess phrase it like this, would you rather go to your job for a week? Or would you rather be with someone you love for a week? Easy.

No brainer. It's just hard. She's like a child. Keep my hands at home. Yeah. Four is like, four is a fun age too. Like not fun to travel with, but like four is a fun age as far as like watching. Like you can do fun shit, take her to the zoo, go look at giraffes, make some cookies.

Yeah, put her on it. If you want to tie her up, put her on a treadmill and then like go home at night. You guys are, you're going to be resting so well. She's not a baby. She's not a teen. No, she's probably already potty trained up for you. You don't even have to change diapers. You don't have to do anything.

You don't have to teach anything. You just have to change her and love her. Oh my God. That's the bare minimum. Well, it's only a fucking week too. Like a four year old, they don't need a bath every day. Do they? Like you're probably only like giving her a bath.

Like, well, I would say they're probably four times. Children are nasty, but I think you do have to bathe them every day. You can clearly tell I don't have children. Oh God, I have to bathe my child every day. They don't put this in the fine print. It's like, yeah, well, dude, grow up. Why would you have a child if you're like, I don't want to deal with any of the negative shit

that comes with having a child? He's 29 too. Yeah. It's not like he's a 21 year old dad. Like he's 29. He's 29. So emotionally, he's probably like 17. That child is more qualified emotionally

to go to his job than he is. That actually might be true. Yeah, based on this post especially. Am I the asshole for treating my family like shit? Yes. I literally had someone they're like, are these people serious? Like, are they fucking serious?

And I'm like, yeah, like a lot of like, I just had a listener write in and she was like, my partner refuses to get divorced unless I pay for it. And people were like, is this real? Like, is this real? And I'm like, yeah, like she literally emailed me this. Like she's got an actual email address with a picture on it. Like this is a, she's not bullshitting me.

It's just, it's crazy. Ladies. It's crazy. Oh my God. Okay. Mixing it up. Yeah, they should get divorced. Yeah, yeah.

Like you'd be better off being a single parent than someone who can't even watch a kid for a week. This one's a tricky one. I have, I'll say right now, I have mixed feelings about this one. Okay. Am I the asshole for using money we earmarked for our six month old college fund

to buy back the exact 1972 Ford Bronco I owned as a teenager. So how to begin with this, I realized that on paper, I am totally the asshole. But when you dig deeper into my motivations, I'm hoping it's more of a great area than anything else.

And maybe even I did the right thing. When I was a teenager, my dad bought me a classic 1972 Ford Bronco. It was my true passion. And I don't recall a memory from high school that somehow doesn't involve that truck. Plus my dad and I would spend hours and hours working on it and went through that,

especially father slash son rough patch when I was a teenager. It was always that Bronco that brought us back together. I made a huge mistake and sold the truck when I turned 19. And my dad died of a heart attack two months later. So while not logical, I've always felt a karmic connection

between the two events. We had a baby in early February. She's our first and the light of my life. My wife is doing well, but she's back at work and she's realized that she hates all the daycares we've tried and really wants to be a stay at home mom. And plus she's still very hormonal from delivery,

lack of sleep and breastfeeding. So she's having a rough time and is angry a lot. I guess I need to say this. Two weeks ago, I was driving through our town's warehouse district and I saw a Bronco that was pretty beat up but resembled mine. I stopped just for nostalgia's sake

and the owner came out and let me take a look inside. My dad and I had glued a wheat penny under the dash as a sort of security measure. So I just sort of checked and goddamn, if it wasn't my Bronco. I asked him if he'd ever consider selling it. He said, actually someone was on I-25 as we spoke

from Colorado to buy it for $21,000. I freaked out and asked him if I could buy it right then and there for $23,000. He said, if I could come up with the cash, yes. I had been procrastinating setting up a 529 so I had $12,000 in savings that my wife's parents had given us. I maxed out my credit card to Venmo

and my mom brought down a check for 4,000 and I fucking drove away in my old car. It was like a dream come true. Like a literal dream come true. It needs a lot of work. I can't afford right now but it's mine. Like in my driveway mine. Again, I can't even describe what a joy this is.

My wife and her parents are furious with me. They feel I was deceptive that a quote real man would have sacrificed anything and everything so my wife could be a stay at home mom with his kids and that setting aside the money they gave us for a college fund was what it was intended for.

My point is my daughter is only six months old. We have 18 years to set up a college fund for her but this Bronco means everything to me and if I wouldn't have acted it would have been gone forever. Now, it can be the same connection between me and my kids. To me, it's the literal meaning of happiness.

Like I said on paper, asshole. Whole story, gray area. How do you see it? I think he's a dick. This one fucked me up. No, like, okay. So you're, he described his wife in such vivid detail. Like, you know, she just wants to be a stay at home mom.

She's also like mean and stuff. So like, but the thing is, it's not about her. It's about your child. You've promised this money to your child. Like I understand that there's an emotional connection with this item. However, that money is no longer yours. I mean, it is yours, but you've promised it to someone else.

You've told someone it's for someone else. And so you use like, but my wife doesn't want to work. So basically I have financial control over these sort of things. I'm really sorry about your dad and that's really great that you bonded with him. I know. But you spent your daughter's money on something

and you justified it by saying, my wife's being a pill, you know? Oh, like she's, you know, really hormonal after six months. Yeah, that's postpartum, the idea of it. I know. And the thing is, is like, I understood, like, I, you're living in the past and you're not thinking about the future. That's what I'm thinking. Like it's your investing, you chose, you know, some,

like a nostalgia item over investing in your daughter who asked nothing of you. But like, do you know what I'm saying? I know I, I was real, real torn up about this one. Because like, I have like, I have a lot of sentimental items, like from my mom that, like I had a panda coin necklace that my mom got as a present from my dad when I was born. Yeah.

And I wore it as a necklace. And then last year at the Trader Joe's up down the street, it broke off the thing while I was grocery shopping. So like, I just like, I, I related to this and I'm like, I would do anything if I found that coin on eBay to buy back or whatever. So I'm like, I'm really torn because I see his point where it's like, she is only six months old, 18 years is a long time.

Like as long as he makes the situation right, I feel like it would be okay. But I'm, I am mad at him because like, if he would have called his wife and just been like, Hey honey, here's the story. And like gotten permission versus just like making this huge decision, then it probably would have been a little better. And maybe she wouldn't have been so upset.

So I'm like, yes, asshole. But I also see this gray area and I'm like, I don't know what it is lately. I'm like, I'm being less hard on people and I'm like very in my feels. So I'm, I'm looking at this and I'm like, I get the sentimental value. So I'm, I'm torn. I'm really torn.

I understand that. But I think that I'm annoyed that he considered it his money. And like it's his memories are more important than his family or his wife's permission. And he took the time to describe how like, you know, she's just being standoffish. And I have 18 years with my daughter. So it's me, me, me, me, me, me, me. It's my memories. It's me.

And the thing is, is your wife, I assume she's your wife for a reason. How'd you call her and been like, this means so much to me. Yeah. She would have understood and you would have had a decent conversation. But you didn't even run it by her just cause you didn't want to deal with that. So you're like, this is my money and this is my memory. And that's all that matters. Well, and I get like time was of the essence here.

But I mean, their finances sound pretty good. Granted, the $12,000 was a gift from her parents, but like finance wise. Wait, is from his, her, his wife's parents? Yeah. Oh, so this is not your money at all? Not at all. No, this is, this is for her. I know.

When I think about it like that, I'm like, Morgan just quipping a dumb ass. If this was the money that you made from your own job or your own, like actually from your own job. And then you were like, and I'd be like, ah, but this was a gift for something. For her college, the baby's college. So this is not even your money. You said this is my money. It's not your money.

And this is my note, dude. I know. Okay. The more I hear it, I'm like, yes, quipping a dumb ass. He's an asshole. There's no great area. And the thing is, is like, you know, when his daughter turns like 15 or 16, they could get a junk car and fix it together.

Well, I think that's what he said too. He, or like what his intentions were where he was like, what did he say here? The Bronco means everything to me. If I wouldn't have acted, it would have been gone forever. Now it can be that same connection between me and my kids. So he like wants to carry on the tradition. But again, like it wasn't your money. You should have talked to your wife.

You could have maybe gone and got a car loan for this and been totally fine. Yeah. I don't think that it, I don't think that that would like ring true. I think that it would just be something that sits in the garage and he would fix it until she like, she's, how old is she? Four or six months? Six months. She's six months old.

You would have spent that you, you're going to tell me that you're waiting until she's, you know, at least 12 to start fixing this car. No, you're going to start fixing that. And that's going to be your project and she's going to sit around. You could have gotten a car when she was of age to work on a car. And that's, that could have been like a really great memory for her, you know, because then you could have told her the story. My dad and I did this to a car one time and now this is going to be our car.

I, I don't like, I don't like him. I wouldn't say it's divorceable. I think it's, I think it's annoying as fuck. It is. I guess like, well, and we had a story on this holiday one where like this wife was the only one working and put money in a Christmas fund and it was like her, it was $500. That's like all she had for her kids for Christmas. And the husband just stole it out and gave it to his brother for his brother's child support.

And I'm like, that's the worst worthy. And like this is fucking, this is $12,000. This is $12,000. That was not for you. I know. It's not a gift for you. I know. I think it's hard cause like I just get so lost in like the sentimental stuff and I'm like,

it's like right there. But I, I wonder like if you would have asked his mom too, like, Hey mom found the car, it's the car. Do you mind buying it for me for right now? And I'll, I'll pay you back over time. Wait, also I feel like he could have easily called like someone to finance this thing. If his mom had time to drive down $4,000, that means that's a like at least a bank check. You had to like, you had to go to the bank and then drive to meet him.

So this person wasn't literally on their way. This person was like probably, you know, coming in the next couple of days. If your mom could have went to the bank, this is not like a split section. Yeah. Yeah. If your mom had time to do it, you also had time to do it. Well, plus like the person from Colorado that was driving down, like we don't know where he lives.

So who knows how far it is, but like person driving down from fucking Colorado, paying $21,000, he offered the guy $2,000 more. So I'm sure he would have been fine if he was like, I'm, I'm sold. I will sign a piece of paper right now, my intentions to buy. My mom can come give you $4,000 down, give me a couple of days to get the rest. I gotta go to the bank. I gotta do whatever. Yeah.

Like that give, that would have given him time to like have a conversation, get a loan, get other like eggs in a row. But he was just like, because it was such an emotional connection or attachment. Yeah. He was just so fucking impulsive. He like didn't think of anything else. I, I, I kind of don't think that the guy from Colorado is real. No.

I don't think he's real. I think that, I mean, like there's always like, you talk about like car salesmen. Yeah. Like that you're, I don't believe anything that they say. You know, this is true. Because if this car was, you know, a hunk of junk, like then why would you pay that much for it? So it must have been that.

Broncos are like, there's something like about Broncos that people just love. Yeah. There's a Bronco addiction right now. I don't believe the car salesman. I don't believe the dad's conviction. I think you're an ass. Yeah. He does give a shit ton of edits too.

Edit had no idea this would go so one way. I guess I messed up. I talked with my mom and she is basically going to buy the Bronco from me in order to refill the college fund and pay off the credit card. So then why could she not have just, oh my God, dude. This should have been the initial plan. Yeah. You could have avoided so much conflict in your marriage.

You, you really could. Oh my God. The 4k will be a gift and she's going to give me whatever I need to restore it. She's always been awesome to me and she'd, and she'd rather the money be spent now than wait for me and my sister's inheritance. Sorry to get everyone so mad at me. I was thinking with my emotions and acted badly. Okay, at least he realizes.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. How old is he? Doesn't say. His sister and his inheritance. Oh, okay. No, no, no. This has now shifted this. I think he sounds like an entitled brat.

If his mom has the type of money to give him like 30,000 dollars and then he has to wait for his inheritance. I think that this man is not doing this for sentimental reasons is because he wanted something and he could not get it immediately. It's interesting. I feel like it's a trend though, like where a lot of, so this is like a tangent. My dad had a friend that came to Thanksgiving who is like his girlfriend's friend and then she brought her 85 year old dad.

He just sold his house in Beverly Hills because he wanted to give his kids like all their inheritance money now because it's like, why wait for it? Like you get your shit now, enjoy it, whatever. And so I think it's like supposed to be like that where like my mom would rather give me the money now than like me have to wait for my inheritance. Yeah. But like, why didn't she? Okay.

So if you knew that she could give you the money now, why would you go through all this? Yeah. Like, because obviously it's not like a will where she has to die and you get the money. She has access to the money. You, if you would have just called mom, hey mommy, mama, remember papa. So I found the car in this, you know, I need like, I feel like she would have given you all that money. You can read it easily.

So why did you have to take someone else's money first? Just so impulsive. Just so impulsive. Just not thinking the next edit. There's so many edits like literally. Do you know, do you know, do you know why someone edits a lot? It's like when you're trying to lie and you give too many details. No one is asking or assuming anything, but you're like, hey, no, actually.

So this, I think that why you edit so much is because there's a lie in there. I also think based on this one. So he goes, are the quote mommy bailed you out comments really necessary? I found a solution and it's coming from me and my sister's inheritance. So it's not like I'm paying for it on my own eventually. So it's not like I'm not paying for it on my own eventually. You're literally not. Your mommy is paying for it.

You're not at all. My inbox is so buried. I have no idea what those icons are and what gold are used for. Does anyone know what those are next edit? I'm getting a 403 error whenever I try to respond. Not sure what that means, but I'm still reading because I'm honestly afraid to go home. Even with the great news, I know my wife is going to be upset for one reason or another. For one reason or another, but you gave her all the reasons in the world.

You didn't need to include that. You didn't consult her. You took her money. You took your child's money. You had your mommy come down and like pay for something that she easily could have paid for herself. You said like for one reason or the other. Yeah, you sound.

You sound so dumb. Sorry, it gets worse. Oh my God, I'm really scared to even read this. What is it, sir? I can't respond to the post, but I'll try to update whenever next edit, edit in the morning. I couldn't figure out why I was getting so many privates, but I guess this must be locked now. I didn't tell my wife that my mom bailed me out and I lied and said I found a buyer for the Bronco.

I'll figure out how to cross that bridge when I get there. But my wife was so relieved that I quote, had come to my senses. I don't want to disappoint her. It's going to take all my line skills to pull this one off over the next few years. Ew, why would you continue to lie? You, okay, you woke up with the anxiety of like all these people are telling me I'm the asshole. Why would you not just own up to it immediately? I take back everything I said at the beginning.

Also, this is the most specific shit ever. If your wife ever, okay, so there's a Bronco and he took $12,000, she would be like, hmm, how unique of a situation is that? That's me. They're talking about me. You have to come up. What type of dickwad is like, oh my God, I'll spend the next couple of years lying. It's going to be so stressful for me.

You're, oh my God. He is asking for a divorce. He is quite literally asking for a reason for his wife to divorce him. You had your solution. You had your out on a silver platter. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

You're being defensive and you don't want it to be, oh mommy bailed you out, but okay, that's the reality. Be grateful. Be gracious that you have that option. Yeah. And yet you're going to bury yourself in a hole even deeper. You're not six feet down anymore. You're fucking 12.

You had your out on a silver platter and yet you still chose to go back and lie even more. Yeah. Where is this car going to be for the next three years? You are literally, okay. So where is this car going to be for the next three years? Because you pitched it as like me and my daughter are going to work on this. How are you going to explain it to your wife when it pops up in your garage for your sentimental bonding moment with your daughter?

How are you going to be like, well, actually, my mom found this seller out of state and she saw the inside of the car and looked like how dad and I fixed it. It's like, you are going to wreck this marriage if you do not own up to this right now. You are a man child. You are a baby. I take back everything. I feel so dumb. It's not sentimental.

You want it. What is that Veruca salt? It's mine. It's on one now. That's what you sound like. I can't wait till you get stuck into the ground for a golden egg. I can't even like look at his account to see if he had another update after this because the account was suspended.

Oh my God. How am I going to lie my way out of this? I don't know, dude. Keep it to yourself. Gross of nads. I'm just mad. Now I'm mad. Yeah.

You had the perfect solution and yet just you fucking shout on it. You couldn't. And your mommy? Your mommy is like so heavily involved in your life that she's willing to go along with your lie. That is interesting. My mom wouldn't lie for me for shit. My mom would like lie for me like to a stranger but not your own like partner. Yeah, like actually no, my mom doesn't believe in lying because she's super Christian.

But like I could not imagine like where someone would lie about something like this for a long time. This is, this is a, this isn't like a little white lie to make someone feel better. This is, this is betrayal worthy. Yeah. And now she's protecting her little boy. She's paying for her little boy and protecting her little boy. And it doesn't matter about his family because it's just my boy, my son. Sorry.

I just, I need to pee so bad one second. Five minutes later. Okay. Well, Bronco boy, obviously overall though it was asshole. Yeah. Comments eat him up. The mods had to get involved. They locked the post.

Yeah. Thank you for all the reports. We get it. He's the asshole. OP has been banned for failing to accept his judgment and will not be answering your questions or continuing to bother you today. And yeah, Jesus dude, you're the asshole who spends 23,000 without so much as speaking to their spouse first. Assholes do.

Yeah. When you put all the money together too, like it's not just 12 grand, it is 23k total like that. Yeah. Yeah. I think like to that says something about like your upbringing that like if spending that amount of money is like something that you feel like you don't have to talk to anyone about, it means that you've been around that type of money. Yeah, there's definitely some privilege to that.

Yes. Because I mean $23,000 for a lot of people is life altering. That's just. It really is. Yeah. I know. I wish I could like go look at his other posts on his account because I'm really curious if there was an update for this. Yeah.

Like that he reposted somewhere, but I'm not seeing it, which sucks. Yeah. No updates. So that's where he left off that he was going to be lying to his wife. How am I going to lie so hard? It's so hard to lie to someone for so long. How about just don't? It's you are doing that to yourself.

Yeah. Like you're creating the problem. Yeah. And then your mom is like, yeah, it's going to be hard for you to lie. You sound like a bunch of pussies. It's just it doesn't, it doesn't need to be this hard. Life doesn't need to be this hard, people. If you've ever had to deal with a plumbing problem,

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Moving along because that one stressed us out, but this one might be worse. Yeah, it's okay. Am I the asshole for not picking up my kids because my wife brought a dildo into my house? Yeah, oh my god. Throw away because my 32 male wife, 29 female, and I both frequent Reddit, and I don't want to be in the doghouse more than I am. My wife and I have been married for seven years and have two children together, who are boys 4 and 2.

On the 14th, my wife went out shopping and I assumed it was just normal Christmas shopping, since it's getting to that time of year. She was gone several hours and the boys were at my mother's house for a few hours, as she lives pretty close. I was planning to go pick them up around dinner time, so I was relaxing until then. I had the day off and my wife has been a stay-at-home mom since our oldest was born. When she got home from the mall, I asked what she had gotten, and walked over to look through the bags with her.

In one of the bags, I saw a dildo, and I can't explain why, but it made me mad. I just didn't want that around my kids. It feels really inappropriate, and if they found it, what then? I told her she had to take it back to the store, and she said they had a no return policy. I said it wasn't even opened, and to at least try, but she wouldn't budge. They won't take it back. So I put my foot down and told her that as long as that thing was in the house, our sons would be staying at their grandma's.

She thought I was kidding, but I said I was dead serious. She said she'd leave to go get them herself, but I said I'd throw it away while she was out doing that if she did. Then my wife said she wasn't speaking to me until I go get the boys, and she told me to grow up. Now she's giving me the cold shoulder. I think she's the one who has to grow up, if she thinks it's appropriate to have a dildo with kids around.

I'm firm on this. My mother agrees with me, and the kids have a room there, so they're doing fine. So am I the asshole? Yeah, you're the one making the dildo about your children. She was going to do her great motherly duties, and you are going to continue living, and you're the one who made this dildo about the kids. So that's really weird.

I never thought a dildo would cause such conflict in a marriage. Oh my god, when I dated dudes, there was a guy, like one time I screenshotted a porn video that I would like to try with him, and he was betrayed that I would watch porn, and he's like, that's disgusting that you would want to... I'm saying that we should do this together. If anything, she got the dildo to aid in their sex life. It's not a dig at him, it's just going to be fun for everyone involved.

Oh my god. You get to have sex with your wife, and also potentially use a dildo. Now you brought the kids into it, because she didn't buy it with like, oh god, I hope my husband resents me for this because this dildo in our children, it's like you made it about the kids. Yeah, it definitely did not need to be about the kids. They're two and four, even if they did find it, they'd be like, oh, jelly worm, they'd have no fucking idea what it is.

Yeah, and so imagine telling them, if you had to explain to your kids, so the reason why I'm late picking you up is because I bought this fake dick, and that your dad said that he wouldn't come get you unless I got rid of it. Like, that's your dad putting it, just go get the kids, deal with it like a man and be like, hey, I don't feel comfortable with this. Now you made it weird. Well, what do you think the kids are going to find more traumatic? Staying at their grandma's when they belong at their house with their parents.

Yeah. Or maybe, maybe finding a dildo. Yeah, and also, why would you run it by your mother? Why would you tell your mom, the last thing I want to tell my mom is, mom, I bought a dildo and it's really ruining my relationship. She'd be like, ah, don't tell me that. The fact that she's like, you know what, honey, that sounds perfectly reasonable. Your mom is enabling you and you've made this dick about your children.

That's some emotional incest right there. That is some emotional incest. The fact you are even comfortable going to your mom and being like, mom, me and my wife are fighting because she brought home a dildo. Yeah. And like, she's like, you know what? I'm going to keep the kids until she gets rid of the dildo. You both are weird and you don't even have to tell the children.

Just put it in a drawer, table it, come back in 30 days when you've like reevaluated. And obviously, sex is not working out for your wife. If she is, oh my God, this is so stupid. I literally was, I was at my brother's house and I was like watching his kiddos with like my grandma and my mom. And his kid, I think was, I think she was like three at the time or like, yeah, I think she was three. And she comes out like from her parents' room, went in their closet

and found the bag of my sister-in-law's sex toys. Took it, dumped it out over the living room floor and I just like, I look over and I'm like, like, what the fuck, where did you get those? Yeah. But like, she had no idea what they were. Yeah. Like, no idea.

I just, you know, just like threw them back in the bag, put it high up in the closet so she couldn't get it again. Yeah, they have no idea. They have no idea. Also, I've always, always, always been baffled by people getting threatened from sex toys. Yeah. If anything, that's your like, your teammate. It's not your competition.

I love that. That's a perfect analogy. Like, oh my God, I- teammate. It is your teammate. Like, as a gay person, if someone pulls out a vibrator, it's the person, other person doesn't feel inferior. It's like now you're, you're tag-teaming someone

and you're giving them double the, it's not a competition. You guys are teammates. I've never heard someone call a toy a teammate and I really like it. Yeah. This is good. I like have no shame. Like I have my favorite vibrator that everyone knows about

if, I guess if you've listened to the earlier episodes, but it's like this amazing vibrator off Amazon. I love it. And I have no shame with toys. Like I've literally had a 1-8 stand and like ripped it out. I'm like, let's go. Yeah. Like, I just love it.

It's not a dig at you. It's what, you know, it's, it's, you want to overwhelm the senses and now, oh my God. It makes the experience better. Like don't you want to have someone be satisfied when you're like done with them? Yeah. Like you want to, like you're,

he's essentially saying like, I can't make my wife come and I'm threatened by a rubber dildo. I'm so, I'm gonna, I'm so threatened. I'm gonna bring my kids into it. Now you've made the sister very strange. He's outing himself. Yeah. You're an asshole, dude.

You're weird asshole and your mom's an asshole. Imagine like my son's wife bought a dildo and the kids, it's like you're making this sexual. You're making this very weird. It's so uncomfortable. Top comment, you're the asshole. She quote, had to take it back. Quote, I put my foot down.

Quote, our sons would be staying at their grandmas. No wonder she prefers a dildo. Yeah, exactly. Plus he told his mother, I'm firmly team, leave him for a dildo over here. Yeah, I think as a wife, she needs to buy a couple tight pairs of jeans and just rock back and forth on the seam.

Cause it seems like her husband, husband is like really, really terrified of like outright sex toys. Oh my God. I am, oh my God. I remember the first time I like started to get sexual. And I remember I had like my first little HP laptop. I must have been like 13 or 12.

Who fucking knows? And I Googled homemade sex toys and it was like, use a sheet and pull from both ends to rub gently. And I'm like, this is poor lady. Like she can't even have a fucking dildo. She's going to have to resort to a sheet too. Or they're like,

or she's just going to like use the shower head. Why is there a water bill so high? Well, you told me to take dildo back. Like it's like, there are so many other like informal ways to like get yourself off that he doesn't realize. He's just like, dick, bad. No. You can't even take that back.

No. As soon as you bought it, like if you put it, like it's just tainted. You walk out there yours. Yeah. I almost wonder if she's never had an orgasm their entire seven years of marriage. I seriously doubt it.

That's so sad. Speaking of shower stuff though, I literally saw this TikTok from this girl who has like an orgasm sensor. I don't know if she like puts it on top of her like lower abdomen. I thought it was like where she can sense someone else having an orgasm. My neighbors.

Oh God, someone's. Oh God. Yeah. It's like a superpower. That would be a weird superpower. But no, this lady has like this weird sensor and she was like a sex researcher or like at least has the sensor for reasons.

And so she like stitched one of these viral shower heads on TikTok and she goes, I'm going to do everyone a favor. I ordered it. I'm going to try it. I'll tell you how it goes. And she like compared her regular orgasm and the waves and then compared it with the shower head

and she goes, it's worth the money guys. And she like showed her orgasm waves and I'm like, this is what I want. I want this data. Yeah. This is good. I like found out through some fitness influencer that like a lot of like if you've ever gone to the gym

and you do like a hanging exercise where you like pull yourself up or like you're hanging and you like lift your legs, you're activating your pelvic floor. And a lot of women have orgasms at the gym from like doing like pull-ups because they're activating their like their pelvic floor. And I tried it and I was doing some pull-ups

and I literally, God, you're one of the lucky ones. Well, no, it's actually very, very easy to do. Like if you go to the gym and do some hanging exercises. This might be the greatest reason I have to work out. Yeah. So you do some, I've been struggling lately. What is my girlfriend doing? So many like pull-ups.

It's great for me. Damn. Okay. Like I gotta go find a fucking pull-up bar apparently. That's good. Wow. Yeah. It's actually really easy

because it's like all your weight is down there and it's like that same feeling of like when you go over a hill and you feel like that lifting in your tummy except it's like better. All right. This is good knowledge. Okay. I think we all learned a lot from that story.

I think he's insecure and he made it weird because he talked about the kids and his mother with a dildo. The mom part really freaks me out. If anyone ever bought a dildo, the last people I'd want to bring up is my mom and some children. I like, I don't know.

I just, I don't know. The thought of my sons growing up without me inspired me to quit smoking. I talked to my doctors and then I threw away all my cigarettes, ashtrays and lighters. I started exercising instead of smoking. Staying away from alcohol

when I was first quitting was key. I kept on trying. Learned something each time. Do whatever it takes. No matter how many times it takes. We did it. So can you. For free and confidential help,

call 1-800-QUIT-NOW or visit waytoquit.org. Developed by CDC. That's divorce worthy, but definitely. It is, it is, okay. It's, I would say in the long term, if you're not having orgasms, if your husband can give you an orgasm

once every three months, that actually is qualifying for divorce. Yeah. No, I think sexual incompatibility is like one of the biggest reasons people get divorced. No, it's huge. If you have to wait till marriage,

then sex should be able to determine if you stay married, you know? You got to try out the car before you buy it. Test drive. What's that stupid phrase? Why buy the milk if they get the count for free? I don't know. I have literally heard that,

and I've heard that for people justifying to wait until marriage. And I'm really happy for you if that's a choice you make for yourself for your beliefs and whatever, but I know multiple people that have literally waited until marriage and gotten divorced because the sex was so bad.

Yeah, and I like, so I was raised like super Christian and I know like a lot of workarounds with like having sex. Oh, soaking? Do it up the ass. Yeah, that hole doesn't count. You're telling me that God,

if he's like deeming what sex is, it'd be like, you know what, actually, that's fine. I'm gonna turn a blind eye to up the ass. Sorry, guys. I don't get that one. I just learned about like soaking recently too, which is like a very popular amongst Mormons apparently. If you get off, it's counted as sex.

I think that like it's a very straight thing to think that sex is only penetration in the vagina with the dick. If you get off or you enjoy it and it arouses you, it is sex. Yes. Yeah. I would agree with that.

Speaking of sex. Let's hear it. My life has imploded. Husband, 29 male, slept with my mom. Oh, geez. 55 female, right before we got married two years ago. Oh, what is the am I the asshole angle on this? This one is just from relationship advice.

So just like a person writing in. Okay. He confessed it to me yesterday out of guilt. The details are that he was extremely drunk on his bachelor party night, which I knew had happened. He doesn't drink often and overdid it. Said the next morning, he didn't remember anything after a certain point.

I thought nothing of it. Looking back, I can see how he was acting pretty off, which I assumed at the time was wedding jitters. Now he's told me he did remember coming home that night, which was when my mom staying with us that week for the wedding came on to him. He went along with it to the point of ending up having sex in her bed. In fact, he passed out in her bed and was there the whole night.

My bachelor party was the same night. I came home around 3am to see he wasn't in our bed. I texted him, but assumed he had crashed with a friend. As he'd said, he might do that if things got crazy. But he was actually with my mother right in the room. Next fucking door. The next morning, he quietly slipped out while I was still asleep, then opened the door pretending he'd just come home

after sleeping off the drunkenness at his friends. He got in a bed with me and told me that lie. As if that wasn't enough, he also initiated sex soon after. He'd been fucking my mother mere hours before. We got married the very next day. Fuck everything. I literally cannot believe this. My mother has a history of trying to flirt with guys I've dated and being inappropriate.

Not this bad, but still. My husband knew this. We laughed about it. He assured me he would never, in a million years, think she was attractive. What the fuck? I called her last night, just said, quote, husband told me everything. She spent several minutes pretending not to know what I was talking about,

then denying everything and saying he was making it up. Then, claiming she'd woken up next to my husband, forcing himself on her. The sheer audacity of the bullshit she is capable of is beyond any disgust I can properly convey. I eventually just ended the call. I could not stop crying. She refused to even admit the truth,

let alone take any responsibility or apologize. I'm not even worth basic honesty in my own mother's eyes. I'm not even worth a half-assed I'm sorry to her. The person who's supposed to love you no matter what? And does she also think I'm stupid? Why keep lying to someone who knows your line unless you actually think they'd fall for your shit? Today I can't cry at all.

Everything feels unreal. I'm completely lost and almost feel like I dreamed this or something. I've lost the two most important people in my life, because they decided that I wasn't as important to them as having a quick fuck. Well, I hope it was the best 10 minutes of their lives. And sure, maybe my husband didn't come home that night with the planned intention of sleeping with her. He probably didn't and it was just horrible judgment from over drinking.

That doesn't change the fact he and my mom had sex. No one should be able to say that about their spouse. How is that normal? I cannot imagine remaining in a marriage where my spouse has fucked my mom. Literally two nights before our wedding. There's simply no coming back from that right? No, I will never quote get over or forgive it. I feel absolutely revolted that for the last two years

they've been at family visits together acting more or less normal with me right there, like a stupid fucking clueless fool. There's probably much more I'm forgetting, but maybe it doesn't even matter. I'm just done. My life is gone and I have no idea where I will be next week, let alone next year. We were going to be together for the rest of our lives.

Now it's gone just like I have nothing. What can I do now? How do I possibly explain to the rest of my family why we're divorcing? I am so humiliated. Okay, so the ultimate question is how does she explain that to her family? Tell them. I would just tell them. Point blank.

I would. So this is like a thing in the gay community is like chosen family, but I think a lot of straight people can also have chosen families. Definitely. The people around you who you're related to have fucked you over in more ways than one. Cut them off. I know it's easier said than done, but spend the rest of your life looking for the people who genuinely love you

and respect you and tell you the truth. Because he slept with you every night for a couple years and keeping that secret in, and your mom has done this before, which means that she obviously has no regard for your relationships or who you are, and that's probably not going to change because she's probably already solidified in her ways. I think you need to tell your family, hey, my husband and my mother are absolute pigs, and I'm going to spend the next couple years of my life looking for the people who genuinely love me.

Yeah, pigs is an understatement. They are pigs. They're swine. The fact that he woke up, I get drunk and mistake. Terrible, terrible, terrible. I am a drunk, and I understand that people, when they are drunk as they make horrible mistakes, but that is something that's almost unforgivable. Yeah.

Actually, no, that's totally unforgivable. That's disgusting. It's so bad. When you black out, I've been black out drunk and had sex with people that I definitely did not want to, and I regret, oh my god, take that back. For sure. But the fact he woke up in the morning, realized where he was and committed to it, and was like, I'm going to pretend I'm a walk in the door.

Yeah. But then he went and tried to initiate sex with her. Yeah, you have her mother's juices on your back. You have two generations of wet on you. Take a shower. Gross man. That was my question. I was like, did he shower in between?

I, okay, so even if you cheat on someone, I think that you should at least, we should get tested for something. Absolutely. You know, that's what you owe someone at the least bit of like, I'm sorry, I made that really gross, but you don't know if she has anything. You didn't bathe. You didn't say that you bathe. That's her mother.

And then I'm actually disgusted that her mother would turn around and say that he forced himself on her. You turn this into a rape allegation that is like, your mother is beyond repair. Oh, she's, she's done. I think you need, you need to lean on your friends and cut your family off. And it's easy to, the last thing you can say to your family is, hey, mama had sex with my husband. I'm sorry, I'm not going to talk to you guys anymore unless you love me. And if you don't love me, I don't care because everyone has already proven that they're all like

shitheads. Yeah. That's disgusting. I feel bad for her. I know. I just skipped ahead. It gets worse. Jesus.

Okay. But happy ending. Okay. Happy ending. She gets remarried. She gets divorced. Thank God. Get divorced.

This is why divorce is a good thing. This is the perfect example of why I love divorce. Yeah, I love divorce. My actual update will be brief, but I want to go thoroughly address what you guys said on my first post. I read every single comment. I guess skip to the bottom if you want to know the update. Do you want me to skip?

Yeah. Okay. Most of you were pointing out that it sounded like my husband was too drunk to consent, meaning she raped him. When I spoke to him again, after reading all of that, I asked him carefully if he felt that she took advantage of his drunkenness. There was a long pause. He sighed and gave me this look that was just full of guilt and sadness.

And then basically said no, that it would be, quote, easy to go with the out I was giving him, but that I deserved the truth. He then proceeded to tell me that before that night, they had been sexting for several months. My God, he had not told me this the first time he confessed. He went on to tell me more, explaining that he left this out because quote, the biggest issue was the actual cheating. And he didn't want to hurt me by giving up all the lead up details.

He only gave them this time out of some remaining sense of honor, I guess. He said he'd been even more of a coward if he misled me to think it was rape. So I guess he's not as much of a liar as he could be. Don't know how to feel about that. Anyways, they had been sexting, including exchanging nudes for a few months before the wedding. Now, I had known they texted sometimes. They had always had a friendly relationship.

I hadn't ever suspected anything weird. Like I said in the first post, he'd been adamant that he'd never think of her sexually. I trusted him. He can't explain why he started sexting beyond he got caught up in the thrill of doing something forbidden. There were implications made about wanting to do things in real life as a quote one night thing should the opportunity ever arise. Disgusting.

So fast forward to our bachelor slash at parties night. The texting between him and her was going on while he was out that night. So what I said in my first post about how he probably didn't come home intending to sleep with her. Yep, that was wrong. He did. In fact, him telling me he was going to stay overnight with his friends if he got too drunk was all a part of the setup.

He knew I'd be out very late at a show. He had the presence of mind to arrange a way to leave his party earlier in the night. Go home, fuck my mother and already have me in a plausible explanation for appearing not to be home when I got back at 3am so that he could spend that quote one night with her. It was just that important to him to have the full experience of falling asleep after sex and waking up next to each other. He reiterated that he had been aware the whole time what of what he was doing. He was not as drunk as he'd made it seem the next morning when he claimed to not remember

anything that had happened. I think that tripped people up on my first post into thinking he was incapacitated. I thought I'd been clear that he'd admitted during his first confession that it was an act he put on for me at the time to cover up his cheating. Which he then explained he actually had remembered everything the next morning. So just to be clear again, while he did get drunk at no point did he black out or become totally wasted to the point he was incapable of controlling his decisions and body. How like flippantly do these people think of sexual assault that both parties would have

accused each other of it? That's so disgusting. Also here's the thing ladies, if a man ever tells you about how ugly and disgusting a girl is and he would never fuck her, he wants to fuck her. They're lying. They are absolutely lying. You would never single out a woman unless you were trying to distract someone from thoughts that are there.

Yes. My girl best friend fucking gross would never hook up with her, but she's cute, but like I love her, but like never fuck her. And look at her like a sister. No one shits on women like that than someone who is about to fuck that woman, you know, or wants to fuck that woman. That's just a huge thing. You would never shit on a woman unless the guys would never shit on a woman unless they're about to,

they want to fuck them. Yeah. Yeah. She goes on to say, I'm proceeding with divorce and have gotten in touch with an attorney. I've kicked him out of the house. I think he's gone to his parents for the time being, not looking forward to a legal battle whatsoever, but there's no possible way to remain married after this shit.

To this day, he doesn't know why he did it. I have my own suspicions based on things he said in the past about wishing he'd had more sexual partners before me because he felt like he had missed out on his youth. Maybe that was my clue. I wasn't enough for him. Should have listened, but let him and some friends talk me into believing I must be or he wouldn't be with me and that all guys have regrets like that and sacrifice them for the right woman.

Clearly that wasn't me. He also struggles with overuse of porn sometimes. Stepmom is his favorite genre. It never struck me as anything other than a dumb porn thing, whatever. I won't be dating for a long, long time because obviously I'm colorblind to red flags. That is so stupid. You missed out on your youth, so you fuck someone who I could be in 30 years. You missed out on your youth, so you fuck someone who looks like me in 30 years.

Had you just waited 30 years, you could have fucked that same woman. Like that's literally like, if you're saying that you, stepmom, oh my god, dude, you're gross. Oh my god, you're not missing out on your youth. If you're missing out on your youth, okay, this is going to sound weird. I'd understand if he said that and now he's pursuing 21 year olds. Yeah. But like, you're pursuing people who are exponentially older than you. Like you could have just waited for that.

I'm like blown away. Like she's 55, you don't even know if she's gone through menopause. Most likely maybe, but what if she would have gotten pregnant? I think he has a fetish. Yeah, definitely. I feel bad too with her being like, obviously I'm colorblind to red flags. Like, no sweetie, I think you just got bamboozled. Yeah, you did get bamboozled.

The fact that, okay, so I think you need to have more faith in yourself. Because a lot of people experience this multiple times actually. And so you realized the first time it's time to get out. So I think that you, sure you didn't realize like there was something else going on, but the first time that everything came to light, you immediately ditched. You're not blind to red flags. No. You just see the positive in people.

So don't shit on yourself like that. Well also like, who knows how long they dated, did she say? And I just, I'm having short-term memory. No, don't say, we got married two years ago, but doesn't say how long they dated. So it's kind of like, no, like if they were together seven years and he gave you no reason to believe he was going to fuck your mom, like that, that wouldn't even be something I would worry about. I wouldn't factor that in.

If my best friend is like way too flirty and all over, that's something you're like, oh very aware of, but your mom, you never suspected. No, especially if you already know like your mom is like, she fucks with you on a regular basis and flirts with people you're dating and is overly touchy and whatever. Like, okay, you already know that's your mom. You need to smack down brawl with your mother. You absolutely, I ditched this man, but then your mom, I would punch her in the face. Like I would go to your house and like, I'm sorry, I would beat the fuck out of your mom

because like she's done this before. She's literally done this. This is a pattern of hers. You need to knock some sense into that woman because it's clear that she's not going to go to therapy at her like, oh my God, I would punch the shit out of my mom. I would be slashing tires. Yeah. I might burn her house down like, no, but I don't know if there's a way to recover.

Yeah, there's, there's nothing wrong with being an older woman and pursuing younger men. However, if you pursue the men exclusively that your, your daughter dates, you're trying to live through, you're trying to take over your daughter's life and you need some sense knocked into you. Sorry that I, now I'm going to see the reviews. They're going to be like, no, I really appreciate that because I'm just like at a loss for words here with this one. And like, I think the top comment on it like kind of puts it in a perspective.

So it's not from the actual post. It's from Reddit updates. So it's like from the post being compiled by someone. And so the top comment, I think this is one of the most messed up stories I've ever read on this site and that's saying something. Yeah. Like that's how I feel. I'm like, I've read some shit on this podcast already, but this, I, I only read the title.

I didn't, I. How do you recover? How do you, you can't. I would definitely seek out a chosen family because you deserve to be loved and you deserve to be like respected and not lied to. Yes. And you deserve to sleep next to someone who loves you, you know, and you deserve to go home to Thanksgiving and Christmas or Hanukkah to a family that respects you.

And I think that you really need to invest in finding a chosen family. I know. I wish I had more details about like, is her mom married? Is does she have siblings? Like is the family, because she definitely, definitely, definitely needs to cut her mom off. Yeah. But like, is everyone else in the family going to be open to doing that as well based on what

she did? Yeah. If you feel humiliated, you have the amazing opportunity to humiliate your mom because that is utterly embarrassing. Unless they green like that, which means you need to cut and run. You need to. And then you need to befriend someone gay like me. And we all will start making a chosen family.

I know. Well, like that's me. Like my family is very much that like my dad that you've met and that I consider like my dad isn't even my dad. Yeah. Like my mom picked him to be my godfather and I just like started calling him dad. Yeah. And then I have aunts, uncles, not related to me at all.

But they're my aunts and uncles. Like, so we're very much like that. Like pick your family because why not? Like have quality people in your life that love you for you versus people that are just blood obligated and don't give a shit. Yeah. What's the thing like blood is thicker than water, but viscosity is not what family what family is about.

You just need to find a family. Oh, I'm like looking at her post. This just happened 22 days ago. Oh my god. So this is all super, super fresh. Yeah. I'll post the links to like all of her posts, but she's, she is so responsive in the comments. I think she's just like really yearning for support and to like.

Yeah. She wants to talk to someone. Yeah. She's just like trying to rationalize this, which unfortunately like you can't rationalize crazy people's decisions. No, you shouldn't even be trying to do that. You should just, you should just feel validated in yourself. Keep replying to people just so people can tell you that you're not crazy because you're,

it sounds like you're surrounded by people who think that you're crazy and you're obviously not crazy. So keep commenting, keep responding and just get that like, you know, like that sense of self and just break away from everyone. Yeah. I know. And like, oh my god, so many comments like this is the page with all the comments. Yeah.

And like if we tried to read them, we literally be here all day. Yeah. Like there's so, so there's a lot, but it seems like she is really getting the support she needs from everyone on Reddit. So yay to that. There's like one comment that I see from her. She has no place in my life ever again. And so that's great.

I'm really, I'm glad she's getting out. I've like done a lot of like mental work in my time, but I've never had to deal with like a parent who has sex with a significant other. And I can't get myself into that mentality. So I'd love to hear like what the actual like analysis for that is. I know. There's definitely some, I don't know if it's insecurity and feeling, you know, that need for assurance from a younger person or like, I think you kind of were on point too

with like saying she needs to vicariously live through her daughter. Yeah. And so maybe she looks at her daughter as an extension of herself. And so she's feeling shortcoming in her own insecurities and I'm not as hot anymore. I'm not this. I'm not that, but hey, I can still get what my daughter has. Yeah. Like that is me.

That is me. I don't know. I would love, I know we have a lot of like licensed marriage and family therapists that listen. I would love to hear everyone's like psychology takes on this one and like, let's try to rationalize this the best we can because that's fucking nuts. I feel so bad for her. I know.

I want to, I want to punch your mom in the face. And then give her a hug. And then give her a hug. Yeah. Someone goes, do they create constant validation by sex and male attention? And she replies, in my case, it was this. She had that pattern my entire life. It extended to every guy I've dated, even when I was a teenager.

She's a pedophile too. Oh my God. I'm not good. Oh, someone literally comments. If you haven't already, please get fully tested for STDs, especially as you said, your mom had a revolving door of men and OP responds, F my life. I never even considered that. Oh my God.

It looks like she responded though. Gotta walk the dogs, school drop off, meetings from 10 to three, take kids to soccer practice, then there goes the extra time for a jog. That's okay. Maybe next week. When everyone else relies on you, it's easy to put your needs last. Therapy is a dedicated time to focus on what you need to be happy, so you can show up for yourself the way you do for others.

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Like she went back and responded to the comment again and I've been tested at the doctors and everything was negative, so I guess I got lucky. Okay. So yay. A win. We did it, guys. Oh my god, I know. Someone comments, the things that men do to address the drive to procreate,

and they respond, jokes on him, I guess, going to a post-menopausal woman for that drive. I think he's just, it's not even the drive to procreate, it's just that... It's a kink or an insecurity for him, maybe two. You think that the world is your oyster and you're blessing upon this earth? No, dude. Men are on thin ice, very, very thin ice. Especially if they fuck your mom. Yeah, and I was not kink shaming there, so I don't even want to fucking hear it from people.

Like if you have a thing for older women, you enjoy that and you go for that and you tickle your fancy, but that woman better not be your fucking wife's mom. Yeah, that's not even kink shaming. It's totally valid to be attracted to people who are older than you. It's not valid to want to fuck the person you're married to's mother. That's not valid. I'm sorry. No.

Actually, I'm not sorry. No. No apologies. No, no. Okay, I'm trying to see how I want to end this. These shenanigans. Okay. Last one.

Am I the asshole? Wife thinks I should spend money saved from my brother's college education on our first home. I think the money should go to him. When I was growing up, my older sister and I were poor. Our parents put food on the table, a roof over our heads, and clothes on our back. But that's about it. My sister and I couldn't afford college. She got married young and had two kids.

Her husband is a good guy, but they have struggled with money. My wife and I met when we were both 20, have one kid and have one on the way. We also struggled with money, but to a lesser extent. With a new baby coming, we'll be just about breaking even every month. 17 years ago, my parents had another baby. For the sake of privacy, I'll call him Tom. He's done well in school and has three college offers. Even with financial aid, though, he won't be able to afford to go somewhere,

even local, as our parents will not be able to support him at all. When Tom was born, I was 17 and my older sister was 19. We both wanted to make sure that Tom would have the opportunity to go to college that we didn't have. So we saved as much money as we could for one year, put it into the stock market, and planned to give it to Tom for college when he turned 18. We ended up saving $2,000 each, $4,000 total. We each put our halves into separate TD Ameritrade counts and invested it in all low-risk funds. The money in each account is now worth nearly $23,000, so $45,000 total.

Tom has been accepted to an amazing college to study engineering, and with financial aid, he'd need to take out about $40,000 in loans. He would never do this because the fear of that debt is too much. My sister and I fully intend on keeping our promise and giving Tom the money to make sure he gets a better life than we've had. In many ways, he is our son as well as our brother. When I met my wife, I told her that I'd put $2,000 aside for Tom when he got older. Last week, I told her how much it was worth now. I probably should have updated her as the investment grew,

but in my head, this money isn't mine. It's Tom's. My wife thinks that Tom should get the money from my sister if she wants to give it to him, but not from me. This is because if we use my half to add to our current savings, we could finally afford to buy our first home. If prices increase even more, she thinks reasonably that we will never be able to buy. She thinks my obligation to our own children to provide a stable financial future is more important. She can see my side, but thinks without using this money to buy now, we may be renting precariously forever. I think my sister, who is worse off than we are,

is keeping her promise, and this money was set aside for Tom before I met my wife. Am I the asshole? No, you're not the asshole. Your wife's a dick. This is so cute. Yeah. Your investment grew, and it's for your younger brother that you wanted to help out. This is the same thing earlier. You promised this money for someone else, and someone else realized how much money you had and was like, that's my money. No, it's not about you. You dedicated this money to something. I understand that you have kitties now, but if you do the same thing right now with the same money that you're using to rent with instead of buy with, and you know, 18 years time, you're going to have a fuck ton of money for your kids

college funds. I know this guy's integrity too to like, I don't know if Tom even knows about his brother, but it's like the integrity he has to still uphold this bargain is amazing. And I think too, I'm sure his brother would help him down the road too. Engineering, he's going to have a great career after this. I'm sure his brother would be more than happy to repay him in some way. That's not a necessity at all. I'm not saying it needs to be, but I'm sure he would. Yeah, he's going to help you out. You give him $40,000 and he's not going to be like, dude, you guys did that for me. I mean, if he was a total piece of crap, but I'm not going to assume that. He's going to help you out in the future, and you have so much time to save

for your children. Do the same thing. And there's no shame in renting. I understand that the housing market is crap, but there is no shame in renting at all. None. I actually saw something and it was from this major, major economist. And he broke it down and he was like, we all are told this lie that buying a home is the biggest investment. It's great for us. It's whatever. It's a lie. It costs more money over the course of your lifetime to buy a home than it does to just rent forever. You have upkeep, maintenance, renovations, all of this homeowner's insurance, all this shit, repairs. He goes, you'll save hundreds of thousands of dollars if you just rent. And he broke it down. It was the craziest thing to me. I'm just like, I'm so annoyed at the wife

in this situation. He made a promise and he's keeping that promise and someone else is also upholding that promise. And it's just not your money. I don't know how to tell people this. It is not your money at all. I understand like sharing a joint like bank account, but if this is not in his bank account, it's in a separate account, not your money. Nope. Truly not your money. You're not on it. It's not your money. Can't touch it. What if this was, so I picked this one too because I was like, it's one, it's good. But what if this was divorce worthy for her? She wanted to get divorced for this because he wouldn't spend the money on getting them a house.

Well, then I think she's a piece of shit. It's a house. If you have a place to live, have owning it is not much different. Like just why would you, this is divorce worthy for her. My husband, yeah, if it was just like playing the devil's advocate a lot. I don't think that these two people should get divorced. And I kind of annoyed that she said that she can see his side, but she's still like pushing it. You don't need to own a home if you live somewhere. I understand that there's that urge, but it's truly not life or death. You promised this kid, I'm going to help him through college. And now is the time that he is going to college that is more pressing than you permanently owning your residence.

Yeah. I know he does like give an update in the comments. It looks like it's the only comment. But update didn't expect this to blow up. I thought I'd give you guys more information. Neither Tom nor our parents know about the money. When you live like we do, there's always an emergency and the money would have been withdrawn and spent years ago if somebody else had known how much it had grown to. It's so easy to say you'll take a few hundred dollars out and replace it. But in reality, that never happens. It's not the reality of working class people. All Tom knows is that we said we would be able to help him a bit, but not the full extent. Having grown up poor, he won't take out the loans even for a STEM subject with good career options.

You need to understand context. $40,000 in debt is a king's ransom to people like us. When my sister and I saved our 2008, that was a real struggle and sacrifice. However, neither of us had any responsibilities. 17 years ago, that money went a lot further than it would today. We knew nothing about the stock market. And it's only through luck that it made such a good return. In 2009, each account briefly clipped under 1300. I work full time in construction. There's huge job security, but little progression. My wife works part time in retail. Child care costs mean it's not worth her working more. We have good health insurance and enough money to cover around eight months of expenses if we lose our jobs. These savings aren't going to grow with a new

baby. We decided to have our second child and final child because at 34 we can no longer delay. My wife and I both agree that the value of having a sibling is worth the financial adversity. It is something we have both budgeted for and can just afford. Tom never had a sibling close to his age, and I'm more of an uncle slash second father figure to him. When our children are both older, my wife can return to work full time and our savings will grow again. We are not on the bread line. However, I'm not 17 anymore and the cost of living keeps going up. If we use the money to buy a house, we will save thousands in rent and pay off equity. The thing is, like us, Tom will refuse to take out loans to go to college. He'll have the same crappy existence we have and I hate

the idea of it. Both of my children and my sister's child have $3,000 each put in the same fund for college. That's all we can do. Hopefully it'll be worth more when they get there, but there's no guarantee. It will definitely be worth more when they get there. It'll be good. Yeah. I think I give the brother his money, even maybe a compromise of saying, hey, we have $30,000 for you and then you only take out $10,000, but it doesn't sound like he'd even go for that. Let him have it. You worked. I don't know. Just give it to him. I'm thinking about the compromise. If you gave him $30,000 and you refuse to take out $10,000, I don't know. It sounds like he has to be forced out the door. I would say give it to him because like you said, it seems like if anyone else found out

about this in this family, the reason why you kept it between you and your sisters because everyone else would want to take out the money from it, I would say just get rid of it. Give it to him like you promised and then start from scratch and you won't even have that pressure on you anymore from him or from any of your family members in the back of your mind. I agree. Let him have it. Let him have it. It's crazy to think about. Up until starting the podcast and stuff, I don't think I ever really had more than a couple of thousand dollars in my pink account and so hearing that to $30,000 is a king's ransom. Then I look at my student loan debt and I got approved. This is the biggest crack of shit with student loans in America. You won't

get approved for a small business loan or a house or whatever, but you can get approved for hundreds of thousands of dollars in student loan debt. That is how I'm going to talk about the U.S. military. The reason why the U.S. military is so huge, the reason why they don't make college free or healthcare free is because no one would join the military. We have the largest military in the entire world and you're telling me that if you couldn't strong arm someone into free healthcare and free college that people would sign up. My parents are both in the military, so I've had this conversation a million times. I have so many friends that have joined and that's like a part of the reason why they joined. It's just like it's so sad to me. I think

there's been a lot of TikToks too where you have all these people and it was like if you could say one thing to your recruiter right now, what would you say? Fuck you. Kill yourself. I hate you. Help you rot. It's like you shouldn't be able to take advantage of 18-year-olds. It's no different than student loan debt, military. I feel the same. I'm very appreciative of our military service, but you shouldn't be able to take advantage of people in that way. You're praying on the lower class. The fact that you can show up to a high school career fair and you can sign your life away when you're under the age of 18, that's messed up. They have 16-year-olds and 17-year-olds commit with parents permission,

but if you have this generational poverty, that's the only way out or so it seems. Seriously, consider there is no shame in not going to college, but you do not need to sign your life away to the US military for four years to get into college. You can always join later. You can join up until when? 26? If that's something for you, take a fucking gap year, live your life, travel, experience, work, do whatever, and then go if it's not working out. If you're an officer, it's even older than 26, so you're not out of time yet if you feel the call of duty. You get paid more as an officer. If you join after college, you already go in at a higher

rank. You're forced to retire after 30 years, but my mom was technically in for 32 or 33 because she was in med school. If you want to stay, if you're a lifer, you can if you want. I know some people that have done that and I know some people that did their four years and got out. I have a couple friends that they're like, I wish I never would have done it. Well, that is divorce or not. I think most of these people should get divorced, not get divorced, but then have a stern talking to who they're sleeping with. I mean, as long as that's not your mom. No, if it's your family, cut them out, cut them out, dude. I looked at my TikTok mentions for the first time ever because

I just realized it was a thing and so many people tagged us in this one TikTok about these girls throwing a divorce party. Oh yeah, I love divorce parties. If you watch my YouTube videos about why I like divorce, it's not so much divorce as it's the end of something horrible. When someone says, I'm not saying, I understand it's the worst part of people's lives. Oh yeah, it's dramatic for sure. Is divorce the bad thing or is the animosity between two people the bad thing? Is how someone reacted or how two people reacting the bad thing versus divorce? Because when someone breaks up and the other person was horrible to them, you're like relieved. Sure, the breakup is hard, but the breakup is the best part because it's the

new, it's the beginning of something new. Yeah. And so there's a lot more to it. I'm not saying that if you've been divorced, that's good for you. How fun. Or like if you're a child of divorce, I'm saying that like there is life after it and you shouldn't be too hard on yourself. Enjoy it. Yeah. Be happy. Yeah. Find the right person. And throw a party because like divorce takes years. You need to celebrate all that hard work. Get your close friends together and throw a divorce party. It's fun. It's flipping. There's a lot of great photo opportunities. I know. We still gotta design the balloons. Ah, yes, we do. We do. Let's make some balloons. We gotta get on that. All right. We've been slacking, but make sure to check out Sarah's divorce videos and

you have some exciting news. Wait, I can't. You can't share it yet? No. Psych, Sarah did reach out after this episode and gave me permission to tell you guys what is coming for her. So very exciting news. She is starting a podcast with her cousin Brittany called Violating Community Guidelines. It's going to be dropping sometime in January. So be sure to follow Sarah on Instagram, YouTube and look for updates on the show. I've heard some sneak peek details about it so far and it's going to be good, you guys. So make sure to check out Sarah's divorce videos and her channel on YouTube, Instagram, TikTok. I'll make sure everything is linked and follow along because she's got, she's got good shit. I do have good shit. Good shit. Okay, but until next time.

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