Two Hot Takes - 65: Cold-Hearted..

Episode Date: May 12, 2022

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Lauren! What started out as a manipulative stories folder turned into some of the coldest I've read. So if you listen to this podcast to fall asleep.. good luck friend.. because you will be fired up after this one. What do you think of these stories? TWs are noted prior to start of some stories on this one. Merch: https://fanjoy.co/collections/twohottakes Partners: Curology: Curology.com/THT Raycon: BuyRaycon.com/THT Page 1 Books: Page1Books.com Promo Code: THT Our SubReddit to Submit Stories!!! https://reddit.app.link/twohottakes Patreon bonus stories from this ep to follow soon!!  https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes

Hi, Jan from Toyota speaking. Jan, I heard it's a good time to buy a Toyota. Sure is. From now until April 4th, you can shop all your favorites, like Corolla, RAV4, Sequoia, and more. Imagine yourself in a new tundra where... You stopped by the home improvement store and finally built that tree house you promised your daughter.

Sarah? When did you hop on the call? Hi, Dad. Mom said you were taking too long on the phone. Toyota, let's go places. See your participating Toyota dealer for details. Dealer inventory may vary. You can't do anything about it. It's extremely sad. You just have one piece sticking straight up.

It's really bad. Do you've got many of them? Yeah, I'll take it out. You're just like... You just reacted like a teacher. Like a student with a teacher. I was just asking because I could hear you kind of chomping it. You're like, I'll take it out right now. Oh my God. Well, it's funny because the last episode,

you were like, what are we not going to do today? I was like, loud mouth noises. Just ASMR. Let's do this. I'm excited for this one. The stories on this one are pretty intense. The theme today is cold hearted. Cold, cold hearted.

Yeah, that's a Kanye song, isn't it? No, it's Dua Lipa. Probably Kanye too. Yeah, I feel like there's a lot of them. You know the song Cold, Cold Heart by Dua Lipa. No. I don't listen to a lot of Dua Lipa unless it's on TikTok. What did you just say?

Dua Lipa. Okay, that must be a thing, but I have not heard of that. Really? No. Yeah, it's a big thing. Dua Lipa. Yeah, so I don't listen to it unless it's on the radio, if I have the radio on, or if it's TikTok. Well, there's a song called Cold, Cold Heart,

and it's really, really good. And since you told me we're going to do this theme, it's been stuck in my head. But the question I have, which you won't know this now, but she has this lyric where she says, I'm not the man that you thought I was at all. It's probably because she didn't write the song. Probably, but now I'm wondering who originally sang that song.

I should have looked it up before this, but... Are you thinking of the one with her and Elton John? Yeah. Probably an Elton song. So, that's what I was wondering. Do they re-do the song together, and he did it originally years back? What are the three Elton John Cold Heart songs?

The pop icons, new collaboration single, Cold Heart, a mashed up remix featuring portions of his past singles, Rocket Man, Sacrifice, Kiss the Bride, and Where's the Sherah? Is a part of his older songs, and then she kind of came in and remixed it? I am boycotting because... Why?

You don't remember? No. And this is the music industry. Wait, what? Oh. Yeah. Okay, now I know, yeah. Justin has this amazing song, amazing, amazing song,

and he actually wrote it with him, his music partner, and Lav, the other artist. I love Lav. And it says really, like, it's such a good song. And she wanted the song. She was like, yes, I'm taking the song. Originally, it was going to release it on one of her first albums, like her EP that blew up, was going to release it then,

said, hey, not the right album, we're going to hold on to it still. So she sat on this song for the entire time I've known Justin, like almost three years. And then finally, recently, was like... Released it. Yeah, sorry, we don't want it anymore. And it's just so annoying because it's such a good song. And just to have someone toy with you for that long,

it's fine if it would have been like, yeah, we're considering it. Okay, no, it didn't work out. It's out. But that's the music industry. Oh my god, yeah. It's just being a supportive girlfriend. It is a bop too. Oh, it's such a bop.

And Lauv is the one that sings the demo. Oh my god, I didn't even know that. And it's really good. Wow. It's really good. I love him. So, you know, so just like these stories today and do a leap but not picking Justin's song.

Cold hearted people. Okay, well, let's dive in. Hi, guys. Welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes. I'm your host, Morgan. And I'm Lauren. I always battle with myself and how bad I want to jump in from the get go. And so I think overall this theme, I started making a folder called manipulative

because I just felt like there was a lot of stories where like these people just overall, there's something going on. But the overall like theme with them was they were kind of being manipulative. And then the more I got into it, I was like, damn, these people are just cold hearted. They just don't care about the people in their life. And that's kind of how it came about. And this first one is, it's bad. So fair warning.

Honestly, this whole episode needs like a trigger warning because every story is like very kind of like emotionally heavy and a lot. But I'll try to do my best when the stories come up to like really trigger warning them. Am I going to be shocked or am I going to be crying? I would say more so. Little both. Like crying inside. Yeah, crying because you feel bad, shocked out loud. Okay.

Okay, let's do this. Am I the asshole for telling my dying son his dad is leaving me? I, 53 female have a son, 26 male with my soon to be ex husband, 50 male. My dear son has a terminal illness and has transitioned from palliative care to hospice care. Needless to say, we're all devastated and have been hiding our separation from him. Unfortunately, the pressure of caring for our son and manipulation from a neighbor led me to a one night of indiscretion. And now my husband wants a divorce. He told me he wouldn't file until after our son passes away and I was appreciative about this at first.

But now I'm rethinking this and told him if he's not man enough to fight for the best thing that's ever happened to him, then I would tell our son that his dad is leaving me. My husband and our entire extended family are lining up and begging me not to do it. They said this news would devastate him in his final weeks and he doesn't have to find out. But it doesn't feel right to lie to him. He's a young man who should be treated with dignity while he's here. He deserves the truth and to know that his dad is giving up on our family. He doesn't need to be lied to and coddled like a child. I've already made up my mind and that unless my husband agrees to counseling and to not file for divorce by tomorrow, I'm telling our son the truth so we can all have closure.

It's his family too and he should note that his dad is about to rip it apart. Where is the accountability here? There is none. None? There is absolutely none. This is a narcissist, right? I mean this sounds like a very narcissistic thing to do. I know and we've really have tried not to throw that around.

We really evaluated how much we were saying it. We try not to throw that around. I didn't say that word in a long time. That's what I'm saying. We've really not said it and I think you are potentially right. There is no insight into anyone but herself. He's willing to throw away the best thing that's ever happened to him. He's not willing to fight for us.

Ma'am, you had an affair. Exactly. The wording of all of that is what makes me think the word narcissist and it's because if she were to be like, honestly I want my son to know the truth and she did say that but I want to be as straight up and honest. I don't feel like we should need to hide things from each other anymore. He's an adult so I don't want to feel like he's a little child

and blah blah blah. He would appreciate it. I know that he would. Then that's coming from a good place. But the fact that she is just giving this threat to her husband and she's like, if you're going to rip apart our family, I'm going to tell her son. Yeah, that's pretty cold.

That's pretty cold. It's bad. He's terminal. When you transition from palliative care to hospice, hospice is end of life care. You only get pain management in hospice and essentially they're assisting you on your way out of this world in a manner with dignity.

You're not suffering. They don't want you in pain. You're in total care typically. You're very just not in a good spot. For him to be in hospice, this is the end for him. I think the other thing too is that was narcissists a bad thing to say. I think people just want to not have narcissism so stigmatized. I think that's a lot of what I've come across and feedback.

I think people just want to make sure that you're not giving, one, you're not calling everyone a narcissist. Everyone is a narcissist. Another thing is a lot of people say, oh, it's actually really rare to be a narcissist. It's like, yeah, but also narcissism is really underdiagnosed. I think it's just like, yeah, there are some people that are truly narcissists.

You mentioned a TikTok about this guy who's a narcissist and openly talks about his experience with narcissism. He's shedding a different perspective on it, which I love. He's great. His TikTok's amazing. No, he's a black gentleman. We'll have to find it after the show, but I think people just don't want it to be every story like, oh, it's narcissists.

No, that makes a lot of sense. I was also just talking to somebody about, so with narcissism too, there's a scale. All of us have narcissistic tendencies. All of us do. It's just one of us. Yeah, it just depends on how manageable it is. And I mean, that's like that with a lot of mental health type situations.

Absolutely. So it's actually healthy to have some narcissistic tendencies because that's basically the root of it is thinking about yourself, which we need to do. But once it gets so unmanageable, and that's why I'm saying this guy that I follow on TikTok, who is a narcissist, he's so great. I don't know.

I've interviewed him specifically, but all of his TikToks, he just gives so much knowledge and shed so much light onto narcissism. Yeah, really cool videos. Yeah. And I obviously, I don't know. This is one situation, one story. She might be freaking out because she's in love with her husband and she is in a horrible place right now.

Her son is dying. Like that is, I can't even imagine going through that as a mother. That is so incredibly painful. So I mean, this is just one story. It doesn't mean that she's a narcissist, but the way that she wrote it sounded very cold and not really thinking about the other people is how it came off. I definitely agree with that.

I think a big part of it too is the accountability aspect, where she doesn't say taking care of my son has been really draining on me. And so I had an affair. She did say that. She words it like this. In the very beginning. But then she brings it back to the husband. So here's, let me just read it so we can like have it.

Unfortunately, the pressure of caring for our son and manipulation from a neighbor led me to a night of indiscretion. Yeah. Why is the neighbor's manipulation? What was going on there? Right. Also just like be accountable. Yeah.

Yeah. Taking care of your son is a lot. Like people can understand that, but like it's still you. You still chose to do that. It's not, those aren't the two sole reasons. You're blaming your son and him being sick and a neighbor for your affair versus being like, I fucked up. I fucked up.

Yeah. It was me. I agree. I fucked up. I agree. And again, I can't imagine how hard of a place she is in, but the way she writes this sounds very lack of accountability. Absolutely.

Well, I think it's just really sad to. And lack of guilt too. And that was one of the things that I was talking about with the TikTok. Like it, the guy he was saying, he's like, I thought that I felt guilt because I did initially, but then I quickly reverted back to pushing all of the issues onto other people. So it was, which is this one. Yeah. Which is really the story.

Right. Wow. That's so crazy how much that TikTok, we literally were just talking about it last night. Yeah. Like without even this context, that's so crazy. Yeah. I completely agree. It just seems off.

And I think my mom does like so much to protect me and shield me from things. And so your son is dying. He's 26. Just shit, shit, shit, draw of cards. And you're wanting, you're using this excuse as like he deserves dignity and to know what is that going to change? What is that going to change? That's going to make him even more miserable and more sad.

Well, and that's the thing too is that where he's at right now, your state of mind can change a lot. Like I've talked about my uncle and he, all the doctors said that he was going to pass away from cancer when I was in fifth grade and he is still alive today. And he kept on saying like, I'm going to beat this cancer even though the percentage is extremely low, but he had the, and obviously, I mean, it's everyone like views this differently, but like we view him beating cancer so much to his mindset. Yeah.

He was constantly filling himself with positivity around him with the people, like the things he would say, the things he would think just constantly. And I mean, whatever you believe, but we really feel like that got him through it. Absolutely. So it's like stuff like this, you know, just, yes, it sounds like your son is terminal, but it sounds like why would you not at least try to put as much positivity in his life as possible right now? Absolutely.

Why make his life any harder than it needs to be? And like this is no one's fault, but your own. Like so trying to be like my husband is throwing away. My husband is not going to fight for the best thing that ever happened to us. Where were you fighting for the best thing that's ever happened to you when you decided to fall on someone else's penis? Well, and the fact that she's using it as a threat to that, like, what is a threat going to get you?

Well, manipulation. Yes, exactly. She's manipulating her husband to not file for divorce. Otherwise she's going to tell the sun because she knows the husband doesn't want that. Yeah. She's using her husband's love for his son against him. Exactly. And I hope, honestly, if he's got like this shouldn't be the case, like I hope this woman

like wakes up and realizes like this is wrong, but honestly, fake it, fake it, buddy, just fake it for a couple of weeks, then like drop her on her ass. Yeah. Yeah. If this was me in this situation, it's so tough, but like I would not, I get where like the ultimately everyone's going nuts begging her to like not tell him because what a terrible thing to find out weeks or when you're in such a terrible position weeks, you know, away from death or whatever, you know, his, his illness.

It's just an iteration and who knows, they both might not be themselves right now. Like it's no chance. Yeah, exactly. I can't even imagine how incredibly difficult. Yeah. So they do have an edit. I'm tired. No one is being fair to me and I'm just too exhausted to try and reason with the vocal

minority. So I'm accepting the judgment of the majority, the silent majority who voted not the asshole but didn't post. I want to thank all of them for being by my side to the rest of you. I forgive you for your abuse and hope the mods don't ban you all. Wait a minute. So everyone else thought that she was doing the right thing. So the original post on this was posted two months ago.

It was removed by the moderators. Her post is, or her account is suspended, no comments, no updates, nothing like that. And so the top comment, they're like on, am I the butt face? There's not like a vote on this one. It's just like, they give it a serious like marking to show it's a serious post. And the top comment is, have you lost your mind? Why would you tell your son that? And why do you think you're the best thing that happened to anyone when all you are is

a cheater that'll manipulate your dying child to try to get your husband to stay? Don't you dare upset your child. He is dying and doesn't need your abuse. But if you tell him, just know that he'll die knowing his mom is a cheater and disloyal. Damn. Yeah. That was, whew. I think OP did respond, but it was removed by a moderator.

And I can't tell you what it was, but people were not happy with it. Okay. So sorry. So the end result, people were mostly agreeing with what we're saying then. Yeah. I don't know what delusional land she was living in. Like everyone on this post is like, yeah, you suck. You fucked up.

Your pissed your husband won't fight for you after you fucked up and you're now using your dying son as a manipulation tactic. You might be the biggest asshole I've ever seen. How are you so broken that you don't see how disgusting your behavior is? Just like a lot of people calling out the manipulation. And what's, what's funny too is what you said that she was like, what did she say? I forgive you guys. Or I, to all the people, what, can you read that again?

Um, I want to thank all of them for being on my side. First of all, she said the silent majority who voted not the asshole, but didn't post. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Two of magical fairies talking to you. So something I don't know about here.

I want to thank all of them for being by my side to the rest of you. I forgive you and your abuse and hope the mods don't ban you all. Um, so someone goes like they quote tweet, I'm accepting the judgment of the majority, the silent majority who voted not the, but not the asshole, but didn't post. I want to thank you all for being by my side. And someone goes praying this is a troll post or you are the biggest narcissist I've ever encountered. Imagine using your dying son as leverage to blackmail your husband, not to divorce you. And somehow thinking you aren't in the wrong.

Obviously you're the asshole. There we go. There we go. There we go. That one's a bad one. Yeah, that's pretty rough. And it sucks. Like you're never going to get an update from someone like that.

Cause like this was two months ago and like by the sounds of it, her son was not well, but like you're not ever going to get an update from someone like that. That one's just, that's rough. It is shit. Hey, If you've ever had to deal with a plumbing problem, you may have felt the pain of realizing you don't know any plumbers. Whether you're trying to stop a leaky faucet, fix a running toilet, replace your old water

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I, female 31, have two kids, female 10 and female 8, with my ex Pete, male 39. We share kids 50-50. Pete has a girlfriend, M, female 30. I can't stand her. We were together seven years. Pete and M recently fell pregnant and the birth went real bad. I called Pete and he answered crying. He said M was losing a lot of blood and they had to rush her into emergency surgery.

He said no one was with him. Her parents and his were on the way. He said that he can't see their son. I told him, I'm sorry that it's happening, but I need to discuss our kids. He needs to send money for his pack of school photos. He kept crying and said he doesn't know what he'd do if M died. That she is his reason for living, his soulmate and the love of his life. I got really angry about that.

We had once been engaged. I told him I'll call him back tomorrow and hung up on him. Why I might be the asshole. Pete was a drug addict, meth, our whole relationship. He would steal from me. He would disappear for days on ends. He was emotionally and verbally abusive. When my nan died, he refused to drive me and only offered my father gas money to take me.

We had also been engaged. I threw him out. He met M at the shops a month before he joined a six month rehab. She supported his recovery. He was once deeply involved with Pete. So calling M his soulmate was hurtful. I feel my reaction was warranted. When I called a few days later to talk about why I was hurt and hung up,

he said he only wants to talk about the kids from now on and that he will respect me as their mom and not talk against me, but not as a person. M ended up being just fine. Please look at this from my perspective. The man I once dreamed of marrying, someone I truly loved calling another person the love of his life. My boyfriend sided with Pete and called me an asshole.

Am I the asshole? I mean, if I were her boyfriend, I would think that you're still in love with your ex. Clearly. Yeah. Clearly. So no wonder the boyfriend's like, how do you hear the asshole? Yeah, I think this one's pretty apparent. The fact that whatever your feelings are,

no matter how unresolved they are, or how hurt you were by Pete moving on and finding love elsewhere, when someone is in that dire of need, that upset, that hurt, that distraught, that scared, that sad, I'm sorry, you have no empathy to just remove your feelings for one moment and be like, I'm so sorry. Like let me know if you need anything or just to like fake it. Everything's gonna be okay.

Who cares if you don't know? That helps people in the moment. Everything's gonna be okay. Call me if you need anything. Yeah, it's pretty cold. And I also have respect for Pete. I mean, the way that he was just like, I'm not gonna bad math you at all,

but I'll always respect you as our children's parent or mother, but I no longer am going to speak to you about other topics. I think that he handled that really well for I'm sure that he was really hurt the minute he got hung up on when he's like in panic mode. I'm sure that made the whole situation worse in his eyes because he's like, I just needed someone to tell me it's gonna be okay. I just need one person to just like assure me my wife, my girlfriend, love of my life is gonna be okay.

And all he got was, yeah, I need money for our kids. I need to talk about our kids and I need money for their school photos. Fuck the school photos. Those aren't gonna go away. They'll be there. I called my ex once crying about another guy. Oh my God. But he was like, Lauren, stop.

Holy shit, Lauren. I know, but it was so far removed and we've been friends for so long now. Yeah. No, I mean college boyfriend. I'm gonna be honest. I went golfing with my high school boyfriend. Shout out Dave after like I broke up with my college boyfriend. And like he was just like my sounding board.

Cause like we had gone through a breakup together. Yeah. And like we were friends at that point despite, you know, our relationship and how crazy it was. And so, you know, I think like him just being like, you know what, like he'll realize he fucked up like I did. Like it's fine. Like blah, blah, blah.

Like he was a good sounding board. So I get where Pete's coming from where they were engaged. They did share a lot of intimacy. They were really connected. And so for someone that he cared about and thought cared about him to not have any like regard for his feelings in that moment, that's got to be really jarring. Not only are you dealing with this, but then you're like, Oh, this person who I'm trying to co-parent with and was a big part of my life

and I shared children with and I loved basically just told me to go fuck myself and send money for school photos. Well, and that's why I'm thinking about whenever I called my ex-boyfriend and I was wasn't, wasn't my best day. It's okay. We've all been there. But he was so supportive even though he was like, Lauren, stop. Let's like calm down.

But he was so supportive and like if he would have hung up on me, I would have like rolled down the hill in the grass. Just keep going. And I do, I do see where she's coming from where she probably does feel really bitter. Yeah. Really resentful or like she missed out and like, Well, she put up with probably so much shit and then all of a sudden and she's been waiting for him to become this person that she knows that is in him.

And then she finally leaves and he becomes that person. Yeah. That probably sucks. It's like, that's what I was waiting for. That's what I wanted. That's why I stuck around. That's why I supported you for all those years. That's why I got engaged to you is because I knew that you were in there,

but you never showed it for me, but you showed it for her. So I feel like that's the bitterness. 1000%. That's exactly what this is and where a lot of it's coming from because she did support him through really trying times, like a meth addiction, a drug addiction like that. That's a lot. That's a lot. And like he would steal from her and stuff like that.

So it's a really, really tough situation. So I get her feelings, but you need to set that shit aside when tough moments like this come up. I agree. Absolutely. One of the comments like, look, your ex sounds like a real piece of work, but they quote what OP said. I told him, I'm sorry that it's happening, but I need to discuss our kids. He needs to send money for his pack of school photos.

And the person goes seriously while his partner and baby were possibly about to die. Come on. You're the asshole. 12 K up votes. Ba-da-boom. Ba-da-bing. Ba-da-boom. Ba-da-bing.

We're the cold hearted men. Give me some of that. Give me something. You know that song, right? By Beyonce? Yeah. Yeah. Cool.

Okay. I got one for you. Okay. I feel like I talk a lot about poop and jizz on this show. You don't talk about jizz in front of me ever. I feel like sperm donor stories come up quite a bit. And here's another one. Am I the asshole for not telling my friend's wife that he is my sperm donor?

What? I'm a 30 year old asexual woman who is currently 33 weeks pregnant with twin girls that I conceived through IVF. I've always wanted children, but never really considered them on the cards for me due to my sexuality. But now I'm in a position where I felt stable enough to bring a child into the world on my own, so I decided to go through IVF. My best friend since high school, 31 male, found out about my plan and how I was looking into finding a donor. So it wouldn't be anonymous and I could vet medical history, etc. He offered to be the sperm donor, as at least I'd know his medical history and any risks that were attached. I agreed, but made it very clear he wouldn't be a parental role in the child's life.

At most, he'd be an honorary uncle due to our friendship. He was happy to agree to this and it never once occurred to me that he would offer this without running it by his wife, 31 female first. As some of you will likely be worried, I used an HFEA clinic, which is a legally licensed clinic, which means due to the paperwork signed, when I underwent IVF, he has no legal right or obligation towards the babies, which was what both of us wanted going into this. The IVF was a success as my pregnant state proves, a little too successful perhaps as its twins. I recently took my friend and his wife out to dinner to thank them for doing this for me and celebrate being in the third trimester. But his wife was confused when I explained the reason for the dinner and then angry, demanding to know why we kept this from her.

I was just as shocked and asked my friend if he hadn't told his wife. He tried to explain to both of us he hadn't thought it mattered as he had no rights to them at all. His wife got even angrier at that part stating she isn't comfortable with their son, six male, having siblings that aren't really his siblings and she wants that part changed so that her husband has a legal say over the girls. I was in shock over this, but said I wouldn't be doing that as I wanted to raise them alone. The three of us got into a huge argument and his wife demanded to know why I wouldn't tell her that her husband had offered this in the first place. I feel very guilty for not checking with his wife first, but it honestly never occurred to me that he wouldn't have done that. So I thought if he was offering, she had to have already given the okay.

Am I the asshole in this? I don't know what to do. This is wild. She's not the asshole, first of all. No, no, no. The guy's an idiot. What the hell? I've heard it. No, I don't even think, it sounds like he's an idiot. Do you think that he was like any like actual malicious intent behind it?

It sounds to me like he was just like- Mom doesn't matter. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. That's so- That's like some Jane the Virgin stuff.

Yeah. I never watched that show. Oh God, it's so good. But it's like, oh my God, if I was the wife, I'd be so mad at my- What? How do you just do that and not say something to your- Oh my God, especially when you have kids together. They have a son together.

A six year old son already in the picture. And I don't blame the wife for being really not happy about this. No. And so you almost wonder if like- Especially because like she said, she wants to have her little boy have a relationship with his siblings because they are technically his siblings. She's not comfortable with her husband having other kids out there that aren't her kids' siblings or what's the way she put it.

Yeah. And so that's why it sucks because it's like if they could have had that conversation. But I don't think that's what OP would have wanted anyway. But then she would have gone for somebody else. She would have gone a different donor. Right. So this to me, I'm like, I want to give him the benefit of the doubt that he's just stupid. But I also think you have to be very, very, very naive and manipulative to not ask your

wife. In what world? Like- What the fuck? You're right. Yes. It's his body. He can donate whatever jizz he wants to.

You don't have to realize like, you have a partner. Yeah. And you're together. And so like, it's not cheating because you didn't have sex with her. This is the weirdest fucking one. I think I've had to like wrap my head around. But it's like not cheating because you didn't have sex with her. But you still almost like, this is the biggest like breach of trust.

Well, I was going to say it's not, I guess it's technically not textbook cheating. But we said boundaries are different for every single relationship. And I guess that's not one that you usually feel like you have to discuss or have in vows. But you would think that that would be something you would want to discuss. It's just a betrayal of, it's a betrayal. Yeah. And I mean, I don't think I would be comfortable with like, if Justin was in this situation, had a friend that needed some juice.

Like, I don't think I would be comfortable with like, if we were married and had our own children with like, I wouldn't be comfortable with this situation. Yeah. Not at all. I wouldn't either. I think like, and I think OP, like if, if there was nobody else that this person could get pregnant by, then I'd be like, sure, why not? But like, there's so many people out there.

I'd be like, well, and she was open to it. Right. Exactly. She was open to it. She was like, yeah, I'm fine. Like looking for a donor. I just want to be able to like vet medical stuff. And so she was so open to it.

So it's like, why, like why, why did he not tell her? Why did he not ask? Why did he not have a conversation? I think because he knew the reaction and he manipulated the situation. Or maybe he just felt like he was being a hero. I don't know. Maybe he has a breeder fetish that the wife doesn't know about. Yeah.

I don't know. It just seems very cold to me that he wouldn't. Yeah. He wouldn't take on the opinion of the partner in his life. It's a cold, cold heart for sure. If I'm just thinking about my ex, if we were together and he did that. I get sad when he doesn't ask for my opinion on like shorts. I'm like, don't you care about what color I like?

But I mean, it's, I'm kind of kidding. But like, but I would just, I would be very sad and disappointed if he didn't even like think of to consult you to consider my thoughts. Yeah. One of the top comments. Oh my God. So not the asshole. The fact that he has a son with his wife makes it even more confusing to me why he wouldn't

have run this by her, or at least let her know he planned to do it. You did the right thing by thanking them as a unit since married couples should be operating as a unit. And OP responds, if I had known she wasn't in the know about this, I'd have never agreed to using him because I assumed she knew I just invited them both out to dinner thinking it was the best way to thank them. I honestly think though it's, this is a situation where once the kids come, everyone's going to be happy because they exist.

But I don't think so in this case because there's no parental rights. Like the wife is upset when the story kind of continued and she was first like mad about like the fact he did it. Then she was mad about the fact he doesn't have any parental rights. I think in her eyes, it would almost be better if he was involved at this point. Right. So might piss her off even more when they actually get here. So once they're, I mean, there's still going to be friends.

Maybe. So the kids still get to see each other. You'd hope unless this really blows up and there's like no contact. I think this might turn into no contact. Her, the wife saying to like, I'm uncomfortable with my son having siblings that aren't really his siblings. She's not telling those from the story at least. Like he's an honorary uncle.

Like there's not going to be mentioned that he's a dad. Right. It's a really sticky situation. That's why I said it makes me think of Jane the Virgin, but on purpose. It's a little crazy, a little crazy. Hi, Jan from Toyota speaking. Jan, I heard it's a good time to buy a Toyota. Sure is.

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Toyota, let's go places. See your participating Toyota dealer for details. Dealer inventory may vary. So this next one is a story Lauren found. Mm-hmm. Am I the asshole for confronting my pregnant sister-in-law over a cruel Instagram post? My 30 female, sister-in-law, 32 female is eight months pregnant with her and my brother's 32 male first child.

They recently had a baby shower, which my sister-in-law asked me and my mother, 65 female, to help organize, decorate, and cook for along with her own sisters and family. She's a very particular person and had some specific requests for the shower, but my mom and I were happy to help and ended up spending 20 plus hours and over $1,000 to plan the event along with my sister-in-law's family. On the day of the shower, my mom and I arrived and began setting up with my sister-in-law's family. However, after about 20 minutes, my mom started having symptoms of a stroke and my dad and

I rushed her to the hospital. We told my brother what was going on, but he opted to stay at the shower since his guests were just arriving and I would update him from the hospital. I work in medicine, so this isn't an unusual ask in my family. My mom ended up being admitted and the following day we were in the hospital scrolling on Instagram. We saw my sister-in-law's post slash pics from the baby shower. The post caption said, quote, thank you to everyone who came today to celebrate our new little soul and all caps.

Huge thank you to my sisters, biosisters tagged and my mom tagged who will be my baby's best aunts and grandmother. My mom and I were a little hurt that we weren't acknowledged in the post, but mostly shocked that she publicly posted that her family would be the best side of the family, pretty obviously omitting us. At this point, we also realized that we had not heard a word from my sister-in-law since the shower, 36 plus hours. No checking in on my mom's condition and no thank you for everything we brought for the shower.

I called my brother and sister-in-law to check in since we hadn't heard from them and I also explained that they might not have meant it, but the post was hurtful and I asked for an explanation. They said they didn't have time to talk about it at the moment, but the following day, my mom and I received a long ass-eye message from my sister-in-law in a group chat, including my brother. The TLDR of the message said that I, OP, was making unnecessary conflict during an important milestone in sister-in-law's life and that she would not be addressing the IG issue further

because she is pregnant and trying to avoid stress. She said she is, quote, setting a boundary with me and had blocked me on all social media because I used her social media against her. She finished the message with, quote, I would like to move past the civilly for the sake of our baby. So, I'm super confused at where the aggression is coming from and at this point, I was the primary caregiver for my mom who had several rehab slash physical therapy slash neurology appointments in the days following her hospital admission.

I explained this to my sister-in-law and asked to have a conversation to sort this out because I message arguments, never make sense. She replies, no, that she is pregnant and not dealing with me and my mom. My mom and I haven't heard from her nor my brother since three weeks. The baby is due in three weeks. Am I the asshole? Absolutely not. You know what I love too is when people, when people try, this is a small part of the story,

but when people use, I'm setting a boundary as if it's like some healthy way of doing something in like the most ridiculous way. Like, yeah, I'm going to set a boundary with you for helping your mom in the hospital by blocking you on all social media. So, I'm just a literal fuck lady. This mom, like by the sounds of it, the mom did have a stroke. If she's got physical therapy appointments and neurology appointments in the days after this, she had a serious neurological event, whether that's a stroke or like just an ischemic attack,

like a TIA, whatever that is. Like she had something go on because I have a lot of patients that actually have minor strokes and don't even have those appointments following their discharge. They just get sent home because they're not, they're not as severe. So for a mom to have all those appointments and be admitted and to have all this, this is serious. I just don't know what's going on in somebody's brain where they put something like a party above somebody's health, their well-being, their survival. I do not get it.

I do not understand that. What's going on in your head? I do not get it. I understand baby showers are very exciting. It's a huge milestone, huge moment for you, but this is somebody's health. This is potentially life-threatening. What's your child's grandmother's health? I don't know.

This story, it's gross. It's gross and I feel bad because obviously they're going to want to be in the baby's life, but I would not want to be in that sister-in-law's life. No, and again. Unless that's just a one-off, but this situation is just like. Well, and I don't want to like, oh, it's hormones, like whatever. No, I think she's being extremely self-centered and has tunnel vision for herself and herself only. And it's unfortunate that the brother is like letting this go and not saying something to his wife,

kind of not sticking his foot in the sand and like being like, no, this is my mom. Like this is really serious. It doesn't even sound like the brother came and like visited the mom. The brother didn't give a fuck to check in on the mom. It's not like this was like a ploy to disrupt her baby shower. Which is like, that's what she is acting like. As if they were like, I want the attention on me. So I'm just going to pretend a stroke and then everyone's going to give us attention.

Like that's what she's acting like. And I understand there's a lot of hormones that are involved in a pregnancy. But I don't think this is hormones. Like I don't think we can chalk it up to that. But the thing is, is like, even if she did have a moment where it was just like out of character for her, she had multiple days to kind of come back down to like reason, you know? So it's like, that's why I agree. I don't, I don't chalk it up to that because it's like,

I think this is just a personality flaw. Unfortunately. Yeah. Because 36 hours after someone was admitted to the hospital is a pretty long time to not check in. Like I put myself in this person's shoes. And if this was my baby shower and Justin's mom had a stroke, I don't care about the baby shower. Like let people come drop off their presence.

Yeah. Like, but like that's obviously more important. Like you only have a certain number of literally minutes. It's typically four hours. Every hospital kind of has slightly different protocol. But if depending on this type of stroke it is like hemorrhagic strokes, you can't do because that's a bleed. But if it's a clot, like a thrombosis in the brain kind of stroke,

there's this medication called TPA and TPA can be administered within a four hour window. So if you think you're having a stroke, do not pass go, get to the hospital. It's better to be safe than sorry. It's better to exaggerate and be over worried than like waste that time because you get four hours to get that TPA. And it essentially, it's like an extreme like blood clot buster, like a blood thinner essentially. And it just goes in and just bust that clot up.

And I've seen people that can't tell me their name. They can't talk. They can't move half their body. When I like see them on evaluation, they get TPA. And the next day I come back to like reevaluate or like check in on them. And they're totally fine. There's no deficits. Wow.

Well, and the thing is, is even if it wasn't a stroke, even if it was a false alarm, that's enough to like, there's something seriously that went wrong. Well, or even if there isn't and there was just a concern that shouldn't be something that you were bitter about. Like you said, be over cautious. I'm so mad at the brother. One sister, the sister-in-law is clearly cold hearted,

extremely self-centered, selfish as fuck, whatever you want to say. And the brother's little bitch. Weak ass bitch. Plus he has a bitch. He's a goofball. He's a goofball. I'm still waiting for everyone's. Oh, well, this episode is going to come out before.

Slash. I don't know when that episode's going to even come out. We have to mention it in this one. If it ever comes out. I know. Lauren and I recorded it. Lauren and I recorded an episode and we're sitting on it. But.

Questioning it. We got a bulletin, like a bulletin chalkboard type thing. And we want to hear like your mean acceptable disses. Because as we do the show, we, um, maybe if you'll hear the same spiel if the episode does come out. But as we do this show, we learn like certain things that aren't acceptable to say. Like the last episode we did or like two ago,

I like said pansy and I literally Googled pansy. And the top result and all I saw was like flowers. Clearly pansy's offensive. It's like not the case. So we want to hear your appropriate mean disses that we can use on the show when we're feeling flustered. You know, I actually never said pussy ass bitch until I met Sarah. Sarah.

Sarah. Sarah. Because Sarah used to always, she used to always call me a pussy ass bitch if I didn't take a shot with her. Now that she's all wifed up with her boyfriend though, she doesn't do that anymore. But no, I will say the conversation you said about like the boundary,

like just because you said, what did you say about the boundary? Like just because someone draws a boundary, like doesn't mean it's necessarily right or valid. Or not like, not even that. I think that the whole concept of boundaries, that's a huge like therapist term. Like that's like something where it's like, you should be setting boundaries for yourself.

What makes you happy? What's not what's crossing the line? Like you got to protect yourself, right? Yeah. It's so funny when people use it in such a toxic way. And it's like, it's like my friend and her ex, they had this moment where she was explaining to him

what her boundaries were. And she was really articulating herself very well. And then he responds back to her and goes, my boundary is no. And she goes, that's not a boundary. He goes, it's no. Oh my gosh. Like that's not constructive.

That's not how it works. It's like, I'm sorry, but I'm studying my boundary. It's no. That's so funny. So the reason that reminded me, I like, as you were talking a little bit, I was like searching our updates and do overs episode because there was a comment that that kind of reminded me of.

And it's a comment by shard star. To be honest, I think there's a conversation to be had about how valid some choices and boundaries are. Hear me out. I advocate for people to make their own choices and set their chosen boundaries. However, you have to wonder how much of a person's choice

is really their choice. Or if it's something they're conditioned to choose with far less free will, like the woman choosing her main in a clearly abusive relationship with a 40 year old man who's a shitty fiance. Same with boundaries. Would you take a man seriously if he says

his boundaries is social media because Instagram is cheating? Of course not. Equating that with a stripper boundary, but perhaps the reason there's a boundary for him and he's so serious about it is because he's insecure. I just think there's a place to criticize certain choices and boundaries

when you focus on their background rather than chalk it up to quote, it's their choice slash boundary, so it's immediately valid. And I think that is exactly what you were saying too. It's like just because it's someone's boundary like doesn't necessarily mean it's valid. And we've come up with that in other stories too.

Like the episode I did with Drew unhinged, there was a man that wrote in that was uncomfortable with his partner having girls nights in and he said it was a boundary for him. He said it's like misogynistic and he shouldn't do it. And it's like, but that's not a valid boundary. And so that's when you then have to decide like,

okay, if that's their boundary and they're fucking sticking to that and there's no way around that, then that's where you as like the person in that situation need to decide, well, they're not changing that boundary. Am I okay living with that boundary? Because like not all are valid.

Yeah, and I think that a lot of times when you, when we're speaking about boundaries, it is more of that bigger picture where it's just like, okay, I know what my significant other likes and what he doesn't like. And does that fit into my world? Is that something that I could live happily with or will that always bother me?

That is a boundary that you set for yourself. Am I okay with this? What am I okay with and what am I not? Am I okay with not having girls nights? Will that make me happy? No, I want to have girls nights. That's my personal boundary to myself and I need to know when I need to leave.

Absolutely. And it's sad that the brother is like looking at this and not saying anything. I know, it's so sad. The top comment on this one, not the asshole, that's a shitty passive aggressive IG post and being pregnant doesn't absolve her from accountability,

which we haven't even touched on the Instagram post. How fucking mean girls. What? And then the fact that she's like, I don't have time to discuss this right now. You're the one that initiated and instigated all of this mess by your childish Instagram post.

And that's like, I'm going to block you on all social media because my social media is what causes problems. Because you're using it against me. Yeah, how she worded it. You're using it against me. No, you're just being a petty bitch and I'm acknowledging it, which is what you actually wanted.

You didn't want anything. Yeah, she wanted it to be known how she felt. Oh yeah. What was she supposed to do, stay at the party while she had her fucking stroke? People these days, man, they're wild. Cold hearted bitch. Okay.

That was a rough one. On the tangent of baby showers. There probably should be a trigger warning on this one. It does mention miscarriages and it's pretty fucking heartless, so.

Am I the asshole for making a joke at a friend's baby shower? So an old friend and his wife invited me to their baby shower. They've been trying for years to get pregnant and finally succeeded through in vitro fertilization. For their shower,

they only asked for diapers of various sizes. I obliged and bought a box of size one diapers. Now, my old friend and I always had a dark sense of humor. So I decided to include a card and taped it to the size one diapers. In the card, I wrote,

quote, I didn't get a larger size in case you couldn't use them. Sometimes tragedies happen. I figured my friend would read it at home and have a laugh. They weren't going to be, quote, opening gifts

since everyone was supposed to just bring diapers. Well, it turns out I was one of the few people who actually just got diapers. They were presents of every kind and they opened them at the shower in front of everyone. Parents, grandparents, aunts, everyone.

So it came time for my gift, the size one diapers, and my friend's wife opened the card and read it to herself. She gave me a look of hate and stormed off crying. I was mortified. A few of her friends and family members followed after her.

Maybe 40 people stared at me and began questioning what I had done. My friend picked up the card and I signaled him to go outside. He read it and explained to me that his wife had had multiple miscarriages and was in therapy to deal with the fear

of losing her child. Am I the asshole for making a joke that I thought my friend would like? Yeah. That makes me want to cry, honestly. Ugh. It makes me want to cry the fact that already, even without that,

that's not a funny joke, but the fact that she's had multiple miscarriages and is going to therapy because she's so afraid of losing this one, that just hurts my heart. It's heartbreaking. It is absolutely tragic to have to experience that. And then to have someone like,

what is literally like, you're finally pregnant, you're about to the finish line, you're having your baby shower, and have someone come in and just like, literally take a knife in all your old wounds and just like, in there and just, haha,

only got size one just in case the baby dies. Oh my God. What? This stuff like this though, it sucks because it's, again, it's almost like a Chris Rock

type of reference where it's like, I'm sure this person wasn't trying to be awful and probably feels so shitty now, at least I hope. I hope they're not like, haha, it was funny, but also like, I'll let you finish.

No, it's okay, I was just going to say. I was just going to let you finish. Yeah, I was just going to say it's one of those things where it's like unquestionable, like that was not appropriate and that was not cool and that was very heartless.

But because it was like, it was one of those things where the way that it's read, it doesn't sound like this person was trying to be mean, rather they're just trying to make someone laugh and it was so off, you know? Yeah. And that's why it's just,

it's cringe-worthy because it's like, fuck. I know, I want to give them the benefit of the doubt, but what do they say in this post for the response? Like, did they think that it shouldn't have been responded to that way? I'll get there. Okay. Like, no, he's obviously an asshole. Okay. No, but I'm saying

does he acknowledge that he feels horrible? I'll see if there's any comments. I do just want to point out, they've been trying for years to get pregnant and have finally succeeded through IVF. Not always the rule, maybe this is the exception, but typically

people that struggle for years and go through IVF and go through all these struggles, there's a chance they had a miscarriage and so, like, you already knew that information and then to still make, like, a dead baby joke, like,

I don't get in, and I think, like, people use, like, oh, I have a dark sense of humor, like, oh, it's just a joke, like, no this is past that. And if this is your sense of humor, where you're going to come in and write this on a card on someone's,

again, like, supposed to be the very, like, exciting day for them, you need to reevaluate yourself. That's why I'm really curious how this person responds. So, posted two months ago, post was deleted by the person who originally posted it,

meaning they probably realized how bad they fucked up. Top comment, you just said to a couple that has been struggling to conceive to the point of paying for IVF, quote, ha ha, what if your baby dies? ha ha ha ha

And you want to know if you're the asshole? Yeah, you're the asshole. And someone goes, basically this, as someone who is trying to conceive has had several miscarriages and also has a dark sense of humor, if someone put this in a card to me, they would be out of my life so damn fast.

You are extremely insensitive, OP. And comments just kind of go on, like, sharing their own people, and someone goes, um, people with dark humor always just have the shittiest fucking jokes ever told. Again. And that's what I was telling you earlier today.

I had a friend back in grade school who made the worst dark humor jokes, and it got to the point where, like, back when you're younger, it's like you kind of like, ha ha, whatever, move on. I couldn't even, I was like, I can't even laugh at this. I can't even give a little bit of a giggle

because it was just not funny. They're just mean and dark. And it's like, and that's how people learn not to do that anymore is to be in a situation, like, assuming that OP is, like, a decent person, they'll never do this again, because it's probably traumatizing how embarrassed

they are. I'm sure he feels absolutely terrible. Yeah. Terrible. When so far as to delete their account, I mean, there's no, by the looks of it, there's no comments

throughout this. So, I learned their lesson because this is really bad. Extremely cold-hearted. I know. It's so sad when people make such shitty jokes and they're just, like, trying to get a laugh

and it's just like, no, it's so bad. Makes me feel sorry for them because I'm just like, oh. Just how clueless they are. Yeah. Walk the dogs, school drop-off, meetings from 10 to 3, take kids to soccer, then

you're left for a jog. When everyone else is relying on you, it's easy to put your needs last. BetterHelp connects you with a licensed therapist online, so you can show up for yourself the way you do for others. Find more balance with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com today

to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHELP.com. So, I have one that was posted on the Two Hot Takes subreddit and I really liked it. So, thank you, orange peaches. So, it goes,

am I the asshole for telling my mom she is too old to be crying about a man? My 15-female mother, 37-female, had a baby six months ago and she has been acting very sensitive about everything. It has been really annoying for me

but I have tried to be tolerant with her. The issue is that yesterday when I wanted to order a pizza, I found my mom in her room crying. It is not weird for her to cry. She has been very emotional but this was different. She was really crying

in a very intense way. I asked her what happened and she told me. She said after putting the baby to sleep she went to see my dad and tried to kiss him. But he didn't let her because he said she smelled like baby puke and that he was busy working.

Was a grown woman crying because a man would not kiss her? It is so dumb. I haven't kissed anyone yet. Should I be crying all day? I told her that I was hungry and asked her to be more mature. I just said she needs to start acting more

like an adult again. She has been very distant since that moment barely talking to me or dad. I think that maybe this was too harsh on her but I was just being honest because I am tired of her acting like this. You are mean. I don't want to go too hard on her

because she is young. She is 15. Her mom had her when she was 17. You said she is 32, right? 37. Okay, then never mind. 22. Which is still young.

That is very young to be a mom. That is interesting. How did she grow up without having that empathy? Emotional intelligence? I don't know. If her mom is comfortable showing her emotions

you would think that the way her mom raised her that might kind of like seep into her own life and the fact that she is looking at her mom get over it. You are crying because a boy won't kiss you. I haven't even kissed the boy. Okay, but 15 is a tough age though. You are finding yourself.

You are finding your identity. You are often times battling with your mom. Yeah, I know. I was a brat when I was 15. Except my mom always is like, no you weren't. And I am like, yes I was. We fought all the time.

She is like, I don't remember. I am like, good. Thank God because it was bad. Mine definitely doesn't remember. So I don't have that benefit. But it is tough. It is a really tough age. So I don't want to give her too much shit.

When you are pregnant with a baby, you are probably going to feel really shitty. Especially it sounds like she is an only child. There is no mention of siblings. So it is a lot of dynamics that are changing. You went from an only child for the past 15 years to now having a sibling and your mom being very emotional

because she was pregnant and just had a baby. She is six months postpartum and so there could be some postpartum depression going on. When you reach out to a partner why are we forgetting about the dickhead? The husband.

Dickhead of a dad. Cool. Nice. Sick bro. Yeah. That one in my daily vocabulary. In the words of Gottman, Gottman talks about bids

and how we all try to make these bids to our partners. It is just a moment of connection where you just want recognition and oh wow, that is really happy. Some sort of recognition or assurance from your partner. Connection overall is the best umbrella term for it.

She was probably just feeding the baby. All babies spit up smells terrible. She goes in for a moment of intimacy. A bid, so to speak, going to be brushed off like that. Exactly. That hurts. 100%.

She is six months postpartum. Who knows what the situation is or hormone situation still. Really tough. I would be balling my eyes out too. Just so everyone knows, you can still speak up but give your partner a kiss.

He could give his partner a kiss and then be like, babe, you spit up on you. Let's get you cleaned up and then come cuddle with me. You can still say how you feel if he was nauseous to the smell of puke. He didn't push her away immediately.

It's pretty easy to just acknowledge and be like, oh, like... Easily. Easy. It's super easy to not be a dickhead. It's almost harder to be more abrasive in me in these situations. Even if you didn't want to make out with her, you could have just stood up, give her a hug.

Babe, I can see you've clearly been taking care of the baby. Let me watch the baby for the next 10 minutes. Go take a shower. Take care of yourself. Why do you think she smells like spit up? She's working her ass off being a mom. Exactly. And if you took time

to get to know your partner at all, you would know that this is going to make her upset, which is going to make it a bigger deal. It's just like common sense, honestly. Well, and it sounds like they've been married for a long time because OP, the girl says like, oh, she went up,

she went to go see my dad. They've been together for at least 15 years, maybe longer. So you're telling me you don't... Are you just over your partner? You don't care about their feelings anymore? And you see her go and cry after this. Yeah. You're in the same house.

You don't hear her sobbing. Mm-hmm. Come on. I do also get vibes that there's a little resentment from the daughter too because she said after putting the baby to sleep versus like, oh, she said, and this is me,

I overanalyze a lot of things. Instead of saying like my sister or brother or whatever. Yeah, it just seems very removed. Grow up, be an adult. You need to take care of me too. I need food. Where's my pizza?

15 is still young. It's so young. You don't know who you are at 15. You're just like a little growing little nugget. So it is hard. Let me find the top comment on this one because it's a screenshot on the two hot takes

thing. The top comment on this one. No one is ever too old to have feelings or express their emotions. But you're too old to need your mom to spoon feed you pizza while you turn up your nose at her distress. Give your mom a kiss and go ask your dad to make you a snack.

And perhaps you can both go on an adventure to look for a working heart. You're the asshole. Some of these comments are just like zing. 44,000 uploads. And we were worried about us being too hard on her. This comment

really tore in an hour. That was kind of poetic to be honest. I didn't read this at all. I just had the screenshot of the story. And so it's interesting that they mentioned go look for a working heart when this is really a cold heart. That is hilarious.

It was meant to be. What I really appreciate is on the THT two hot takes subreddit It's actually from Orange Peaches, the one who shared it. I studied sociology and gender slash women's study in college.

And this is a huge phenomenon, LOL. Like daughters aligning with their fathers over their mothers due to the social roles of fatherhood versus motherhood. So dad is the fun, nice one, and mom is the mean one slash the bitch. So when you're little, it's you and your mom existing really as one unit.

You rely on your mother for literally keeping you alive and your mother takes the caring role making you one unit. But then as you grow, there is a separation of child and the mother. And that mother wound can manifest as an apathy or hatred towards the mother. An X of this is when teenage girls and their mothers switch

from being best friends when they're a child to enemies and fighting all the time. Once they're like 13 or so. It's an interesting and kind of sad thing to see because it is really just a whole manifestation of internalized misogyny slash patriarchal roles slash the objectification

of mothers. Maybe just interesting to me because sociology brain, but yeah. That's super interesting. I know, I think there's a lot of deep issues with that. Well, I feel like everybody fights with their parents when they're like turning teenagers.

I feel like that's pretty common. Not everyone, but like it's pretty common to like all of a sudden go from being like besties do whatever they say to kind of like having some resistance to kind of starting to you're trying to set yourself apart.

And you're trying to learn more about the world and become more of an individual and not just like do whatever your parents say. And so there's like resistance just in general I feel like turning that age. But it is really interesting to hear kind of like the psychology behind some of the situations that go down.

Yeah, well there's another comment too after from Banana Sam 98 and they're like there's something similar I can't remember off the top of my head It's from a psychology book by Bonnie Burstow. The quote is often father and daughter look down on mother, woman, together.

They exchange meaningful glances when she misses a point. They agree that she is not bright as they are, cannot reason as they do. The collusion does not save the daughter from the mother's fate. Damn. Yeah.

That hurts. That does hurt. It hurts. I think like... I've been in my dynamic. But I think that's also in part because I have a divorced family so I was very separate. What I've found looking at my own psychology

research and stuff like that is girls will often times battle more with their moms than boys battle with their moms. And girls are typically better at setting boundaries with their moms than boys because it's traditional not always but like it's more common

like boundary like really push back years with their mom. So it's just interesting the psychology behind all of this is so interesting. I really hope the original writer found something within these comments that like wasn't so hurt that she like almost got too

defensive to take it in. No, that's and that's that is not how you get through to someone and say something so harsh. Like that comment it was poetry but will that get through to her? Not sure. She might just be defensive and shut down. But no, this is also

interesting. It's funny too because my dynamics were not like that at all. Like my brother fought with my mom so much which is why I think that my mom did not. I mean she said I know this because she said this. She was like you were the easy one.

So even though me my mom fought she fought a lot with my other siblings. Yeah. So are you the baby? That's true. Birth order plays a big role in it too. For sure. My brother was such a rebel though. Technically kind of a middle.

Yeah, he is middle and he always wanted to do anything he wasn't supposed to do. Yeah, that was me. I'm a middle. It's hard too because not only is birth order a big thing but gender of the kids or how the kids identify because

my oldest boy but we have an eight year age difference. He was an oldest child but I was like the middle child but also kind of had some older child tendencies and I'm the middle that's a girl and the only girl like my younger brother is we're closer in age two and a half years

three years but like the baby. So like his treatment was totally different than mine and like because I'm the only girl and like because of my mom's experiences like I had a very heart like a very strict upbringing and I would watch what like my little brother got away with and it's like are you a father? Are you kidding me?

Are you kidding me? No and I think that's why my siblings would give me hard time all the time or same experience because your mom was hard on them. They felt like my mom was harder on them and would let me get away with stuff and so they were like fuck you little runt. You little

rat. You little shit. But we're all friends now so it's all good. It all comes together but high school is some weird ass years. Growing up is fucking weird. It's hard. Just being alive

is weird. I literally get so tripped up when I just think like we're literally just like little ants floating on this big rock spinning through the universe like that's an abundance of other universes that only exist because I just like it's very easy for me to slip into an existential

crisis. I don't even want to say crisis but just like mindset like all of a sudden I'm like like whoa what just happened. I was on a walk yesterday and I was like huh life that's weird. Did you have a gummy or something

shit? No. We should have one after this. We should do an episode. I was gone for a while and now you know why. Last night. I didn't even realize. What I was gone for like three hours. Maybe two. What was I doing? Working. I don't know. You were on your computer.

I was editing. Oh no no wait you Yeah I was editing. Yeah you were. I was editing the father knows something episode. Which if you want to talk about cold-hearted the father knows something episode that came out that I did. It's called Choosing Yourself. There's some cold-hearted bitches on that one.

Not the people that wrote in and not the listeners but some of the people in the stories. Mrs. Terry I'm still a little mad at. Yeah Mrs. Terry. I've been listening over Morgan's shoulder when she edits and she plays something like ten times and I'm like yeah I know this story really well now. I think that's one

thing I like about father knows though like a lot is that we do get a lot more updates because they're actual listeners writing into us and like not just like read it a one off. So this is a father knows something plug it's turning into so check it out it's it's really good.

I got invited actually so I might be showing up there one day. So it'll be good. We'll see if I get the invite again. Come on. Yeah you can come. Cool. Uh-huh. Nice. Sick. Sick. Awesome. Rad. So I was going to say rad too.

Wow. So rad. Okay let's get this next story. So last but not least also very triggering for those that have struggled with cancer. Here we go. Walk the dogs school drop off meetings from

ten to three take kids to soccer then no time left for a jog. When everyone else is relying on you it's easy to put your needs last. BetterHelp connects you with a licensed therapist online so you can show up for yourself the way you do for others.

Find more balance with BetterHelp visit betterhelp.com today to get 10% off your first month. That's better h-e-l-p.com My wife has breast cancer and I want a divorce but I'm afraid to tell her this is the hardest thing I've ever been through in my life. Both my wife and I are in our early

thirties and have a two-year-old daughter. This February we unfortunately found out that my wife has breast cancer. She's had a mastectomy and is still going through chemo so she is bald. I always thought I loved my wife. She is the sweetest kindest person I know and she's done so much for me

but I'm just not attracted to her anymore. What? Mm-hmm. Like because of this? Mm-hmm. I know she knows because we haven't had sex in two months and I can see the pain in her eyes. I hate to say this but she disgusts me now.

What the fuck? I just want her to understand that it isn't because she's a bad person. It's just that as a man I want someone I'm attracted to. Oh my god, leave. Oh my god, leave. I do her the fucking favor and get the fuck out of there you asshole.

Sorry. Normally I let you finish them. Proceed. I don't know whether I should make something up and say that I've been wanting to get divorced for a while or just tell the truth. I also don't want my little girl growing up to hate me for this but I'm sure her mother will tell her I'm a horrible person.

Then again, I don't know if I want to be in my daughter's life either. What? She, this is really bad. Is this post a joke? I hope so. She might grow up to be unhealthy like her mother and what guy wants to be tied to unhealthy females.

Oh my, okay. I need to like take a break. I'm not well. We aren't programmed that way by evolution. Oh my god. Although I'm laughing, I'm so uncomfortable. Although I'll have no problem paying a reasonable amount of child support. Wow.

Hero. Fucker. Cold. Hard. This is horrible. Bitch. Oh my god. Please, please actually be a troll if this is a real person but people do this.

We actually had a story, me and Justin a couple weeks ago where this guy stole his ex-wife's bracelet back because she owed him money because he paid her cancer treatments and the wife told the new wife, the ex-wife told the new wife that

he divorced her because she got sick with cancer. There's people like this out there. Cold. Harded. So top comment on this one. One of them I should say, they quote what he says I'm sure her mother will tell her I'm a horrible person.

And they go you leaving your wife because of something that she cannot control and did not ask for and furthermore this is a time when she needs your support most. You are a disgusting horrible person. Yeah. What about through sickness and health you motherfucker?

I know. Can I say motherfucker? Yeah. So OP goes I would have no problem supporting her financially for a year until she can go back to work. I'd also pay a reasonable amount of child support. Wow. So later they answer. Thank you.

Someone goes, you're trolling, right? And OP responds, I wish I never imagined myself being in this situation. Wow. Well, all I can say is that I leave because he'd be doing her a great favor because Good riddance. Get rid of him.

Jesus Christ. Good riddance. Crazy to me. Absolutely crazy to me. The fact that he ended up, I'm not sure if I want to be my daughter's life either because your wife got sick. What's wrong with you? You literally have zero heart.

Zero. I don't know how you could, this is insane to me. It's pretty disgusting. This is a real life Grinch. No, the Grinch had a happy ending. This guy is... Well, they just said that the Grinch doesn't have a heart, so that's what I was referring to.

Yeah. Not according to the girl that has a fetish for him. Well, he eventually has a heart. You missed that episode. I'm making a lot of other episode puns today. There's an episode with stiff socks where this person has a Grinch fetish

and wants to be fucked by the Grinch. And so she wanted her boyfriend to dress up like the Grinch. I can see that being kind of hot. Okay. Here we go. People were finding it hard to believe, but we got one right here, folks.

I'm just kidding. What would be something that you would roleplay if you had to pick something? Hmm. Five minutes later. I don't know. Nothing really entices me right now. I think if anything,

I think it would be really, really fun to, like, have you seen that show on Netflix? Oh, my God. This is going to make me sound like I'm in a furries. But have you seen that show on Netflix? It's the dating show where they put a shit ton of makeup on them and make them look like crazy animals.

No. And so they're so, like, unrecognizable. Okay. But I think that would be really interesting if you, like, just had, like, a fucking beak to, like, still navigate, like, a bloat job or something. And, like, you haven't seen the show? Uh-uh.

Oh, my God. It's called Sexy Beast. No, I've never heard of that. And so it's a blind dating show, and they're kind of playing off, like, the love is blind thing, but they get to see each other in person, but they dress all of them up as, like, characters. So this one was, like, this one...

This one's a dolphin. Holy, how have I never heard of this before? This one's, like, a big mouse, a baboon. I wouldn't want any of those ones. No, I just think it'd be really... This one's hideous. Oh, so they don't actually, like, hook up? They just do the makeup?

Some of them, they don't hook up, but... Well, it's so kind of. Some of them do try to make out with this stuff on. Okay. But that's it. Not, like, it's not, like, the part of the show's role-playing. No. But I think something like that, like, or even, like, just, like, absurd, like, absurd makeup

or, like, wearing, like, a grandma and grandpa costume outfit with, like, like, the full makeup. I don't know. That's the only thing that really entices me. Do you know how they say, like, the sex position, like, starfish or whatever? Yeah, my favorite.

A girl just, like, lays there, like... Well, when I was in Brazil, a guy was asking, like, what's the guy version of starfishing? And my... Still starfishing? No, my friend goes... I think because we were in Brazil and she was like,

it's Christ the Redeemer. Oh, my God. That's quick. That's quick. Anyway. Well, that is all I have for Cold-hearted. We got to hop over to Patreon's story for this one. Oh, okay. That's not any better.

It doesn't get better over there. But, yeah. I hope everyone is okay after this episode. It's pretty tough. Take a walk. Take a deep breath. I told Morgan earlier today... I told Morgan today, I was like,

I want to be a little bit meaner. And I looked at Morgan's dog, Holly, because she doesn't like people she doesn't trust. She sucks. And I looked at Molly... Oh, my God. I looked at Holly and I was like, I'm going to be a bitch just like you, Holly. You were pretty nice on this episode.

I mean... We'll see what happens in Patreon. Okay. Well, here we go. Oh, should we give people a palette cleanser? Yeah. So this is actually a tweet about a Reddit post.

It's from Noah Michelson. Michelson. M-I-C-H-E-L-S-O-N. I just saw a Reddit post by someone with extreme anxiety asking how to order a sandwich at Subway because they've never tried it. And so someone replied and wrote out a step-by-step instruction

without being snarky or judgmental. And it's the kindest, sweetest thing I've seen in months. I know. So freaking cute. That reminds me also. I just saw this TikTok where I think I sent it to you as well.

But it was a delivery man and they left out money for him and a card. And he signed, thank you, and he said his mom just had passed away and you don't know how much it means to him. He signed thank you in the video camera.

Oh, my God. It was the most precious thing ever. You did send me that TikTok and I was like, I got to save it for breakfast. Oh, that's right. I was like, I'm bawling. You were like, I can't cry right now, Lauren. I'm not emotionally ready for that.

I'm not emotionally capable of crying anymore. I got to put it off till breakfast. There are very kind souls out there. I know. I want to, on the THT on Supervised Channel, I want to start doing a collection. And this is Justin's thing completely. He's been talking about this for months now,

but he wants to do a wholesome segment and round up wholesome TikToks, wholesome stories and just make it a more regular thing. We did a wholesome episode once in the very beginning. Yeah, I've done a couple and they're really nice. They're just nice resets when you're in a tough place.

I agree. Okay, but that's all I got. So until next time. Until next time. Bye, guys. Bye. And a special thanks to our partners. I'll be sure to put all of the links in the description. Walk the dogs.

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