Two Hot Takes - 91: Putting the ILY in Family..

Episode Date: November 24, 2022

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Lauren! This episode is a nod to our humble beginnings.. except its not 23 minutes LOL. We both blind reacted to every single one of these stories, and oddly they all involved family that was anything but loving.. Can't wait to hear your thoughts! LIVE SHOW TICKETS!!! December 2nd in person Los Angeles Show: https://www.ticketweb.com/event/two-hot-takes-the-bourbon-room-tickets/12614315?pl=BourbonRoom December 4th online intimate virtual show with Moment: https://www.moment.co/THT !!! Join us for our New Spotify Show (It's FREE): https://spotifylive.link/dtrh to join LIVE (download Spotify Live app)!! https://spotify.link/dtrh to listen to already aired episodes !! Patreon for bonus content:  https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes Our SubReddit to Submit YOUR Stories!!! https://reddit.app.link/twohottakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes Partners: GhostBed: Ghostbed.com/THT Promo Code: THT

What's up everybody? I'm Mike Wilson with Any Hour Services and if you've been thinking about replacing your old water heater, Any Hour Services is here to help and save you some money. Whether you're looking for a new tanked water heater or you want to see what upgrading to a tankless would cost, the plumbers at Any Hour Services can show you what options are available and right now you can save $400 on a tanked water heater or $1,200 on a tankless. Call Any Hour Services and schedule a free estimate today. Google Any Hour Services or schedule online at AnyHourServices.com. No one helps more homeowners than Any Hour Services. I love that jacket. I just got it. It's from the brand Ferdy, like Ferdy brand. I talk about it

on the podcast for ads all the time and I actually am obsessed. I can't stop buying stuff there. I know it's probably a little much though with the couch plus the jacket. I didn't think about that. I'm going to look absolutely just like Mrs. Frizzle or whatever from the Magic School Bus. Where did these couches come from? Offer up or Craigslist. I think offer up. What made you decide to get these new couches? What happened to the table? Is the table gone? I'm just over it. I'm very indecisive. I'm not sold on this setup yet either, but the table was just kind of pissing me off. Oh, yeah. Angry table. Well, you just like I go through these phases where I just want to change stuff up. This just makes you feel nice to kind

of freshen up sometimes. Yeah. It's that one designer I really like. So that's why I've got them. I'm not used to the microphone not being like directly in my face and it's making me feel like exposed, very vulnerable. Yeah. No, you got to show your cute self off. Oh, put it down. It was set up very nice. Just go, no, no, no. Come on. Don't be weird. You have your nice highlighter on that everyone asks you about. You're going to get more compliments on it. So show off your highlighter. Do it for the people. Okay. So I have no idea what I'm getting us into today. I kind of just have been feeling very chaotic. Super chaotic and like we're nearing a hundred episodes. We're going to party? Yeah. So

this will be episode 91. And I mean, as it grows, like it just feels like there's more pressure. Like when we started this, like our first episode was 23 minutes long and we had no idea what we were fucking doing. So like it didn't really matter what we were doing. Yeah. And this is just maybe my personality type. And this whole podcast has really taught me I'm actually type A. I'm not type B. Like I thought that taught me that you are type A as well. And I never knew that before. I never would have guessed. Yeah. Like I have things like where I'm particular about them. I had no idea. But like, oh my God. And so I'm definitely very type B through and through. Yeah. I'm a type B. So I don't know. I just I've been feeling so much pressure lately. And so I kind of wanted to

just go back to the beginning. And I have not read any of the stories we are reading today. You know what's funny talking about back to the beginning? Yeah. I whenever people ask me, like what is the podcast about? The example I always use without a doubt. Every time. The Waffle Stomp. Every time. And that was our first story. That was our first story last week. That was our first story. And it was it just blew my mind. I thought it was such a funny story that it's like it's like lives with me forever. And it's like, yeah, it's like a token of this the start of this, this whole everything with two hot takes is the freaking pooping in the shower story. It is really wild. We have come a long way. I don't think there's any poop on this episode.

I picked just based off titles and kind of what's been like relevant on am I the asshole? I should have looked off true off my chest too. Maybe I'll do that real quick. But mostly am I the asshole? And just crazy titles, a lot of upvotes. So hopefully they're good. We might get a dud. And if we get a dud, we'll just not say so much about it and move on. So then we might get through more stories today than we ever have in our entire lives. But after editing seven TikToks, I realized I don't like getting through a lot of stories. It takes so long. Yeah, you feel my pain. You feel my pain, but four stories max. Everyone's like 100 stories. I'm like four, two and a half hour long episodes. I'm like, dude, let's go back to 23 minutes. It takes so long. It takes so long.

I do miss the 23 minute long episode. It's so funny because I was one I was like, Morgan, people like short episodes, like it's totally like we got to keep them short. I think you like broke up the episode into like two to keep them short. Yeah. Yeah. And then everyone's just like, no, absolutely not long. So I always laugh at that at our first 23 minute episode. Well, here's another three hour long episode. So I'm just kidding. I was getting an hour 45 probably. I'm like putting out there now got places to be. Actually, I don't have anywhere to be. Maybe we should go out after this. That's what I was asking and you said, well, I was just, I was in a shit mood, but now that you're here and it's just, I was in a bad mood today. Let's dive

into this. Let's do it. Damn. Okay. So I'm just peeking at you off my chest to grab a couple. Oh, I liked that sound. Oh my God, the titles, the titles, the titles, the titles. My volume might be a little loud for that. Oh my God. It's okay. It's okay. I can crank you down. Wow. Wow. Okay. Yeah, definitely loud. We can crank my volume down. Oh my God. Can you turn me down a little bit? Yeah. Damn you guys. Okay. So we had a story. Alejandra and I, it was about someone writing in about poking holes in their brother's condoms. This story is from True Off My Chest. Sorry. I'm such a dumb ass because when I heard about that story, because you guys first,

you told me before me listening myself. Yeah. And I'm like, it's just like not possible. She'd have to open the condom, poke holes in it and then put it back in and the brother's going to see that it's open. So he wouldn't use it. I didn't realize that you could literally poke holes through the actual, like my mind is blown. Yeah. I don't know if I've talked about this on the podcast before, but I was telling Lauren and Alejandra as we talked about this. For those of you out there that use condoms, the best method when you take the condom off, whoever does it, roll it down. Like you don't roll it down, but like slide it off. Like you might have to roll a little, but then slide down, take it off, roll it all the way out then and tie it like you would a balloon. Okay. Are

you still with me? So after you tie it, like you would a balloon, you take it and you like, it, it's the weirdest gesture. I'm going to describe it as like almost like the gesture you make when you milk a cow and you like pull down on the other. I'm really fucking everyone up right now, but you like, you slide your arm, you really slide down on the other arms on it too. You slide down. I just tried to go grab a condom and blow it up to demonstrate, but you slide all the stuff inside of it. You wrap your whole body around it. Like you're milking it and you then can find out if there's any like microscopic holes because if there are, it'll start coming out. Yeah. No, that's, that's super brilliant. You were telling me and Alejandra

that on Tuesday when we were doing the photo shoot. What did I just do to everyone? It was so fun. Why? Why did I have to do that to all of us? I'm so sorry. And then you put your arm on the condom. Well, not like your hand. I'm just like, I'm gesturing here on video and it's just like, you know, it's hard to describe something you do every day. It's like, describe, let's, you do that every day. You don't have sex every day? No. Don't rub it in. Not every day. I, I've been just enough kind of falling off. We need to fuck more. I'll put it that way. But you do often enough. I'm like, right. So I didn't know that you use condoms every time though. Yeah, I'm not on birth control. Oh, I'm, I am like, I birth control makes me suicidal. Yeah,

I'm not on birth control either. It's just risky. Don't recommend it. If you can be on birth control and have that extra layer of protection, highly recommend. Yeah. So that's a really, really great solution. I'm glad that we all know that. And honestly, even though it was a really weird story, I think that a lot of people will appreciate it. I hope so. You're welcome. Thank you. You haven't learned this yet. Okay. Anyways, so the title of this one, it's from true off my chest, found out my sister was poking holes in my condoms. So this is all bizarre at the moment, but for starters, she's 15 and I'm 26. I'm an hour drive away from my parents' house and I rarely see her. So every now and then I take her for sleepovers at my house and stuff like that.

And yesterday, we were just watching TV and she suddenly says that she wanted to quote, say something dumb. And she basically told me she poked holes in my condoms, because my girlfriend was annoying her. Oh God, I didn't exactly know what to say. My girlfriend was at work at the time, but I bet you if she was home, she'd probably beat my sister. I didn't know she even knew what condoms were sound stupid. Yes. But I didn't think my parents would bother telling her it's the morning now and she's gone and I threw the condoms away. I'm awfully worried if my girlfriend is pregnant. And if she is, I'm not sure what to tell my parents or my girlfriend. What am I supposed to say? Quote, sorry, my sister poked holes in my condoms. My parents

are the type to not really give a fuck either. So I can't really tell anyone but people here. So there's my rambling. Sorry. Wow. What the fuck is wrong with people? Oh my God. Also, I just wanted to take a moment to laugh at the fact that when you first started saying this story, my brain started going like, oh my God, the little sister wanted another little baby in the family. The little sister didn't know anybody because she was so little and she's like, I just want another baby like to take care of. She's 15. I know, I know, but I'm saying like, you know, when I was little, like, and I was 15 years old, like, actually, no, I should back up. Whenever before my little siblings were born, I wanted little siblings so badly because I was

the youngest. And so I was thinking the story was going that direction that she wanted like another like little sibling type. You know, anyway, this definitely took a really bad turn. And I'm kind of scared the fact that she would do that because the girlfriend was annoying her. That's scary. That's really scary. Like what type of behavior is that? Well, that's what me and all Hunter talked about on the last one. It's like, I, well, and she's like, I did it because your girlfriend was annoying me. Sorry. At least this person came clean. Whereas in the past story, the person who poked the holes didn't come clean about it. And then like realized like, oh, my 16 year old brother got his girlfriend pregnant. I poked holes in his condoms. Oops,

maybe it's correlated. Yeah. But like still like to have that. There's like no empathy there. It's concerning. It is very interesting. And I think there's other things where people like sometimes if people getting their break lines cut or someone loosened the lug nuts on my, on my car, someone slashed my tires, someone like, I've never been so mad at someone to where I would maliciously endanger their life, their safety, their health, their happiness, their wellness. Like I've never, I just can't relate to that. So I really wonder like just the wiring brain wiring is so crazy to me. No, my friend of mine was told me not too long ago that his back in his hometown, there was a kid in his grade. And I think that the kid was

only like 15 or something at the time, like around the same age and dropped bricks off of the bridge. Yeah. And he ended up killing like a priest and like his entire family. I've heard there's the most sickening thing that I, I just can't even, that's actually happened multiple times where people will throw rocks over overpasses. And it's like, don't like, there should be like a common sense class where you have things like that where like kids are kids are like curious. Like I get that. Like I remember, I remember doing weird things as a kid just to be like, oh, what would happen if you like, I don't know, did this, whatever, living on a farm with horses and weird stuff. Like you just like run out in the woods on your horse and you like take an axe with you and start hacking

into trees. Like I did weird stuff. I thought I was like a fucking explorer. I carved my name in a lot of trees. That's actually kind of cute. Literally, I remember like literally riding full speed on my horse holding up the axe. Like I was psychotic. Like, oh my God. And that should be a common sense thing. Like, hey, don't ride your horse with an axe in your hand. Like I could have easily gotten bucked off landed on the axe. This little, I had a neighbor who my dad's one of my dad's neighbors who I was playing with her. And I think we were only like, I don't know, like 12 or something at the time. And her little brother was only like six or seven. And she kept poking at him and pissing him off and making him mad. And he chased us with a freaking axe. And I was scared.

And the little, the little shit was fast. So, so, so fast. I was scared for my life. Like, genuinely, because I was like, what if he falls over? What if he trips? And he like literally acts as us? Like, and the girl kept laughing. And I was like, she's like, it's fine. And I'm like, what? This is not fine. This is terrifying. We have different definitions of fine. We have different definitions of fine. And my mom did that to her brother when they were growing up. Like he, he kept picking on her sister, my aunt. And so she ended up like getting so fed up with it. She grabbed a butcher's knife out of the kitchen and like chased him around with it. So scary. Like don't run with knives. It's just scary because they're kids. And it's like,

what if you trip and fall? Like that's, that's so scary. I know. Crazy. Don't poke holes in people's condoms. Don't ride horses with axes. Yeah. Don't chase people with knives. Oh, one last thing too, is that there's this article that I read one time where there was a nurse, I think in Canada or something like that, which is crazy because nothing ever bad happens in Canada. But anyway, this nurse was this chill up there mostly. This nurse claimed to be responsible for like over like 50 people's deaths. And she said that. Yeah. She said she would like inject stuff like in them when they, when their family members were annoying her. And they don't, they, they, they don't know if this girl is just like going like crazy and just making these claims.

Really? There's the last time I read the article, I should say, I don't, I never saw like the follow up, but. Oh my God. Well, I literally, there's a new movie that just came out on Netflix with Jessica Chastain. And it's literally this premise. And the guy started injecting people's IV bags full of insulin and like killing them. Terrifying. And that's what I remember from the article is she was like, if their family members annoyed me or if they annoyed me, then I would do it. Just like the most terrifying thing ever that you're just like at mercy of people that you think that you can trust and you just don't really know like. No, I fully believe there's a lot of jobs that are very serious that I think should have like regular mental health screenings,

police officers, regular mental health screenings. And they should interview their family because like. Yes. Know the type of people they are. Same with nurses. And like, I don't want to like mischaracterize anyone. Like I'm not trying to infer that those jobs have certain like anything. They have a lot of responsibility though. I'm just saying like doctors, any job protecting other people. So if you're going to be protecting other people, I agree. Yeah. You know, like even, I don't know. I think maybe everyone just needs mental health checks. You have a physical every year, have a mental health check every year. Yeah. Why don't we? I don't know. Why don't we? It's so important too. It's so unaddressed. Yeah. So unaddressed. And it's like if you give someone the

door, like if you had a yearly mental health thing, like maybe this kid wouldn't have poked holes and condoms. And maybe someone would then, who someone who's suffering with depression or suicidal ideation, like if someone opens the door for you and it's easy to walk through and get that help. Yeah. Like why don't we? It's very frustrating. Eventually. It's coming soon. I hope so. Okay. Moving along. Don't be a dick. Another one from true off my chest. Every time I see your sticker, I have to say it. Oh my, yeah. Don't be a dick. I'm going to get a new case soon, I think I'm over it. Okay. I know. I'm very like starting new fresh. Everything. I know something's wrong with me. I'm just like very like, I want to just like burn the house down and start

off. I caught my husband with his best friend, but I won't tell them. I know my husband, male 28 is wealthy and he is providing me female 30 a great life while I'm studying. I would never have afforded it otherwise. As a matter of fact, I was a barista before I met him and didn't even dare dreaming about starting college. Now I'm in engineering school. He pays for everything. We have a great house. I don't need to do anything but study and have fun. His best friend, female 27 from college separated from her common law husband after he cheated on her. She had no place to go and we have a guest house. I never had anything to worry about with them because they have known each other for ages. I always thought if they wanted,

it would have happened already. I was mistaken. I started having a hunch because of nothing in particular just felt that they changed with each other. So I snuck on them after pretending to go to my moms. Nobody knows that I know. I couldn't let him touch me for two months, blaming it on stress from school starting. Now we do have sex because I don't want him to suspect me or get tired of me. I cried the first time he touched me after I found out and wanted to vomit, but I blamed it on stress. Now I just let him. I try to think about other things and try to convince myself that it's just sex. I fake it sometimes when he notices me being absent-minded and start saying, quote, baby, come back to me. I'm in a race with time to finish school before he throws me aside

for her. I also had an IUD put in without telling him. Nobody knows, not even my closest friends. Everyone thinks I'm the luckiest woman on earth, so loved and cherished by an amazing, successful husband. Nobody knows that I cry myself to sleep every night. I completely understand where she's coming from. That opportunity, just trying to make a better life for yourself and feeling like I just need to tough this out for a couple more months. Just let me get my degree and then after I have my own financial freedom, I can then be done. It just breaks my heart to think how alone she must feel. Yeah, completely, because no one knows. I wonder why she doesn't want to tell anyone.

Everyone's probably like, leave. That's everyone's first reaction. You deserve better. You should leave, which she does deserve better. She shouldn't have to live in the same house as her husband and his affair partner. Yeah, I wonder if the girl is still living in their back house during this time. I do wonder. Let me see if there's any comments from OP. Yeah, we do have some comments. Oh, I like this. Okay, this sounds really weird. Oh, encouraging a woman to stay with this man who's cheating on her. But this is also her decision and this is what she's choosing to do versus writing in and being like, I know I'm going to leave him. I'm leaving tonight. I'm packing my bags and going. Can you give me advice? She's just getting

off her chest. It's true off my chest. It's just like putting it out into the universe. And so someone goes, for the sake of your education, stay. Try to be strong during those three years. Once you can stand on your own feet, leave this man. And don't feel guilty about, quote, taking advantage of his money. He's literally cheated on you and still calls you baby for God's sakes. You deserve to get this degree and leave his unfaithful ass. Three years. So OP responds and goes, yes, he still calls me baby, tells me love you every morning when I go to college and he's off to work, texts me, I miss you from his morning meeting, calls during lunch, and texts what I want for dinner before coming home. Like nothing has changed. I can't believe

how he can be so two faced. That would be such a mind fuck for me. To be honest, I feel like there's, she could find another way to get through college. I don't, I don't know how, but like there's so many like support groups these days and like people that are willing to like donate to go fund me's. I don't know. I just feel like there's another way that like three years feels so brutal for her to have to fake it for three years. That would break my heart for her. And especially if she's not going to tell anyone about it, like that must be feels so alone. I was thinking like, okay, like maybe she only has like six months left or something. I don't know, but like three years, that's just so much time. I know. I feel, I feel, I mean, it's definitely

doable, but it's, it's definitely you're going to struggle. Like I, I really like I had such a privilege during grad school where I had a place to live without having to pay rent at that time. And I don't, I really truly don't know how people in my grad program did it. We had to sign a contract in my grad school where we signed a way that we would not work during the program. And if they found out we were working, they had the right to terminate us as students. And so most of my cohort, there were two people that had jobs. And I don't know how they did it because it was so extensive and grueling. And like, she's an engineering school. Like that is, that is a really tough, tough thing to do. And what he's doing is inexcusable, but I just know

how hard it is to suffer. And like everyone in my grad school, like I ended up 200k in the whole, and they had to then take out extra money for apartments and rent in LA, they were spending 40 grand a year. We went into school for three years. Yeah. No, and I have, I mean, I have zero judgment towards her at all. I'm, it's just like, I just have pain for her. Yeah. And that's why I'm like, couldn't, couldn't there be another way? Like I just, I just feel so sad thinking about her being so alone and having to do that for three years. Because it's not like she's like, you know what? He cheated. I don't care. I'm not into many more. I take, like, I have sex just for sex. It's fine. I look at it all differently. Like she's saying that she's crying herself to

sleep every night. And that when he touched her, she's like, sick. Yeah. Well, and that's the thing too. It's like, she doesn't want to be intimate with him anymore. And so like, that just feels, it feels really icky. And it is like, it's icky for her. It's just, it's really sad. It's probably, probably feels super degrading and just heartbreaking every time because I'm sure she does still love him, but then like to walk in on that. Yeah. Someone asks, is she still in the guest house? And Opie goes, yes. I don't think she's going to leave anytime soon. She's talking about getting back with her husband if he proposed. Okay. Jump. Yeah. Someone goes, can you imagine if I said that about Jeff? Yeah. Like we broke up, but if he proposed,

if he proposes, I actually will go back to him. So yeah, that is like, that is a very common reason why people break up. Yeah, that's true. Like I, that's true. I know like my, my brother and sister-in-law before they got married, like they were together for almost 11 years. Yeah. And my brother still wasn't proposing. And so she, no, you're right. She gave him an ultimatum where it was like, if you don't propose by this date, I'm going to propose to you. Yeah. It wasn't like a, you proposed by this date or we're done, but so many people have to do that because their partner isn't ready. And well, in that movie, I just watched him too long ago because it was advertised on Netflix so much, but it's the movie that's like, he's just

not that into you. And then it's the scene with, it's like the gen, I think it was Jennifer Anderson and then what was it like Ben Affleck or something. And they were together. Oh, Scarlett Johansson was having the affair. Yeah. But there was the relationship going on where they were together for like, I don't know how long it was too, like 11 years or something. Yeah. And then she, she said that she was just like, I want to be married. Like that's just what I want. I've been like pretending that I'm okay with it, but it's like, no, this is what I want. And so, and he was like, well, I can't get that to you. So then they finally break up. So, and then he ends up being like, well, I'm not going to spurt anything. Nevermind. I've seen it. I know, but I don't know

what everyone else says. That's very considerate of you. It's a good movie actually. But, but no, but I was, I guess that makes complete sense. I was thinking in a way where it's just like, like, you know, any type of relationship issues, it's like would be fixed with a band aid of like proposal. I was thinking of it that way. So yeah, but that's why I joked about it. But no, you're right. You're right. You're right. Okay. Anyway, back to the story. Yeah. So someone just goes, like, good luck. Also, have yourself get tested regularly. Yes, it was the first thing I did before the IUD. I will continue to test myself. And someone goes, actually, it's the same person responding. They go, you're being realistic and practical about this for playing the long game

and very good for you. And Opie goes, thank you. Sometimes I feel like a whore. Sometimes I feel like I'm using him, but I just can't throw away two years already. I really enjoyed my studies and I can't wait for my future career. Whether he is paying for me is honestly nothing to him. And I'm even thinking to pay him once I have a decent job. You know what I wonder? I almost wonder like if he really does love her. And it was just an oops. Well, not even that. But like if, you know, he were to be like, I did fuck up. And I love you and you deserve better. Like, I'll pay for the rest of your college and you live your own life. Yeah, I mean, and well, they're married. Who knows what she would

get in terms of a divorce. It depends on if they have a prenup. It sounds like he's loaded. It sounds like he's like, oh, I'll pay for your school. And that's like, for him, that's buying Starbucks. Like that's just the impression I'm getting. But I don't know. And I feel weird. I feel like we're like, I feel like I'm like, oh yeah, go ahead, use him, sis. Get your coin. But at the same time, he made a commitment to her to marry her and not sleep with his best friend from college. So I'm really, I'm having quite the moral debate inside right now. I get like it is very, it's this is probably the biggest gray area one I've had for a while for me, I would say. A lot of other interesting comments. The top one on it currently is so this woman leaves

her husband because he cheated and then turns around and is your husband's mistress. What? That's a good point. I'm so sorry. Send all the positivity your way that I can. Yeah. What is like, what is that thought process when you understand how fucking bad it hurts? Why would you go out and do that to somebody else? You know what I mean? Like, I feel like when people should be the opposite though, like, yeah, you'd think, but some people are just so self-centered that they don't care. They want to feel better instantly on their own right. And so they don't care who they heard on the process. It sucks. Humans are so human. Yeah. But someone does say that it seems odd for the cheating victim to cheat after first

hand knowing how damaging it is for a human being. But someone goes, I wonder if the mistresses X actually cheated, which does bring up an interesting point because OP did say she would get back together with him if he proposed. Yeah. So maybe he didn't cheat and that was just the story to move in. Oh, I could see it. OP doesn't mention anything about like trying to work on their marriage. But I do wonder like if she confronted him and was like, hey, I love you. You know, I know you have had sex with so-and-so. I would like for her to move out of the guest house and I'd like to work on this with you. I wonder if that's what OP wanted, of course, but like I just wonder how that conversation would go. And I know like people who feel guilty,

like you always see this on TikTok. It was like, I saw this one the other day where it was like, he was sending me flowers and commenting cute things on my Instagram and posting cute pictures of me. Meanwhile, he hit me at night. Yeah. And you see stuff like that. And so it's like, I look at him and he's like, I love you. What do you want for dinner? I hope you're having a good day. I miss you. Like he's going, he sounds like, you know, from an outside person seeing that, wow, great husband loves you. And so I wonder if that's guilt or if that was how he was way before the cheating and it's just continued. Like I just want to, I read these and I just want to know so much more. I know. Same. And I'm wondering, I don't know what that is. Wow. Okay.

And I am wondering what she saw because it's like, did she see Dick in V or like, I'm like, was it a kiss on the cheek and she thought it was them, you know, being more intimate? Like, I don't know. There's so many answers that I wish that I just wish almost she had this conversation with us. Can we call her with us? And then also with him. But at the same time, she is risking her, her schooling if she has this conversation. So she's at a tough place. I started having a hunch and I just felt so I snuck in on them after pretending to go to my moms. Yeah. Cause I also wonder like you hear, or maybe it's in movies. I feel like I've seen this in a movie where like the wife walks in and see the husband and like someone kiss

and it was like the husband hanging out with someone and that person leaned in and kissed them and then pulls away. And then they walk out, they walk out and they're like, what the fuck? And then, yeah. And then they're like, what were you doing? And they get so mad and they storm out and I want to be so hopeful here. But no, reality is he probably sucks. Yeah. I just, I want to know, I have questions. I had another question. I forgot it. Fuck. I know. I've kind of been, I've really tried to work on not interrupting so much. It's, it's, that's good. I should do that too. It's the ADD. Like it just doesn't, sometimes you just like, uh, and then someone was like, someone is like, Morgan, I'm going to stop listening to

the podcast. You're unbearable to listen when you interrupt people. And I'm like, I, this is something like I consciously think about. So I'm sorry if I interrupted and you forgot your thought. The funny thing is that I don't notice it. Like it doesn't, there's certain times when people interrupt me that it's just so blatantly like, whoa. But like when me and you are having conversations, especially in the podcast, I don't notice it. I feel like we both are just so used to like, I don't. It's our conversation style. Yeah. It's our conversation style. And also what I realized too, is that like when I was a kid, growing up the youngest, um, because my, my dad had more kids later, but, um, I grew up the youngest technically. Yeah. And it was always

this like trying to fight over being heard. And I remember vividly one time, like I had a family member asked me how school was, and I started answering. And then she instantly looked over and started talking to somebody else and just completely stopped. Oh my God. And I was like, the fuck. I was pissed. Thanks. And so I just, I got, that's what I realized that I got really used to just like throughout growing up, having to like fight to insert what I want to say. Yeah. But now it's so second nature. I don't even notice it. I don't notice when other people do it to me either. I know. I don't, I don't, I do notice it after sometimes where I'm like, oh, fuck. Well, now, because if people are calling you out, then you probably like, oh, way more attention.

Now I'm like hyper fixated on it where like, I really try to like, just wait, just wait, just wait, like be an active listener. Don't plan on what you're trying to say next. And so hands are shaking. Well, it's just like really hard. I just don't want to forget it. And I, I know if I don't say it, I will forget it because of my ADD. And I also sometimes like something with ADD is like, you'll, you'll try to like almost finish someone's sentences to show you're actively listening. But to other people that, that aren't like neurodivergent, like that comes across very like rude and you're interrupting, you're aggressive. And it's just like, I love when that happens and it's completely like not what the person was going to

say. Me all the time. That's what people are probably so annoyed. And so then you left, then I stayed. Okay. Then you stayed. And literally, so when I, when I responded to this person too, and they, you know, they probably didn't imply it with that much tone. I, um, they are subscribed and I'm, I'm sorry. Morgan feels bad. I do feel bad. I feel bad. I just, I, I've been really hard on myself and taking a lot personally lately and, um, having a regular mental breakdown. So trying to just be better. But I, I just was like, I made a frozen joke. And I was like, I think like, it's just kind of the way we all converse together, like our friend group. Yeah. Um, we're very one, like a lot of us are neurodivergent and two, we're a lot of quick

talkers, but I was like, sorry, like if you were a part of our friend group and saw regular conversations, like we always try to finish each other's sandwiches. And I tried to make a frozen joke and I, that's cute. I love the frozen. I don't know if it hit, but well, you know, that's fine. That's what I was going to say. Uh, no, when I, yeah, I, I, it really doesn't, it's, I don't know. I don't notice it. Tangent there. Yeah. I like, no, it's fine. I like when we talk over each other and at the same time it's, I don't like the quiet spaces. Awkward silence. I don't like them. Okay. Well, I hope this woman figures it out and just can, I hope it gets better. I don't want her to go through this for the next three years and feel

icky and cry herself to sleep. And I hope, I hope she confides in someone. She did say that, like writing to Reddit did make her feel better. So that's good. And yeah, this is such a weird situation. I, I honestly, I, I don't judge her, but like if she were asking me for advice, I would, I would say to say something to him and to figure it out because I know that, yeah, I know it's, I know it's hard, but like, like I'm saying there's, I don't know, like there's scholarships, there's, if she was, oh, that's what I was going to say. If she was willing to pay him back in the future, then it's like, take it alone, you know, like, I wonder if he'd be open. But yeah, it is tough. This is why I wish education in America, because that's my realm of knowledge, was more affordable.

So I learned when I was in South America that they don't really like when we call the United States America. Yeah. Yeah, I wish the United States was more affordable. I don't know how common across the board that is, but I'm sure it's very common because there's North America, which also includes Canada, like South America, there's a bunch of countries down there, Central America. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, when I was in Argentina, I was in America. Oh yeah, I like them from America. They're like, we're in America. I was like, you're brave. When I go places, I say I'm from Canada. Oh, where are you from? Canada? What, what providence? Minnesota? It's right below Manitoba. Isn't that the United States? Yeah, we're just not going to tell people.

Is that, is that a real story? Did that happen? Yeah. I was expecting them not to know all the provinces. Manitoba, Minnesota sounds the same. They're right there. Oh, that is great. That's good. They called me up. They go, you're not Canadian. I go, I mean, I told you that that one Canadian, Curtis, the hockey player, he was so cute. He was so sweet. He literally was saying that he's from Canada and he's like, when I think about Minnesota, I think about it as like a little cut out of Canada. It is attached. And he did it with his hands and it was really cute. He was such a cutie. You should text him. No, he was such a cutie. No, no, no, no, we like this new guy. That's a tech talker. Let's, did he respond to you yet? I don't know. Let's check. Probably not. Just check.

I just like, I love, I love love. I love the early stages and like, no, he didn't respond to me. I'm a loser. Damn it. It was such a good text too. Morgan literally had, yeah, anyway, let's, let's move on. I'm planning a dating show for Lauren. If any gentlemen out there that are located in LA would like to apply, let me know. You have to pass my, my, how many guys do we have that watch this show? There's some dudes. I feel like most of them are literally like the guys that are dating the girls who watch the show. No, there's some guys really on their own. Like their girlfriends, their wives didn't put them onto it. I believe so. I get really good comments from a user on Instagram named Vermont beer dude. That's okay. Yeah. So I think there's evidence. I think there's

dudes. Okay. I mean, I thought you had like control of the analytics. So I thought you might actually really know, but there's, there's a decent percentage. Okay. It depends on the platform. Okay. So dating show. We're going to get on that. Okay. Next up is back to am I the asshole? Am I the asshole for telling my fiance's family that he's unemployed after they kept implying that I was a gold digger? So my fiance, male 33, comes from a well off family. I, female 29, come from a working class family. My fiance's family are nice, but they can't help throwing comments about me out how I might be a gold digger. For example, if he buys me something, they'll go quote, Oh, Jason bought you that. You know what

this looks like, right? Or quote, wait, Jason paid for this. Only gold diggers make their partners pay for stuff all the time. Just saying it's so demeaning and very direct. That's like not, that's not a passive comment. That's straight up your gold digger. It's so demeaning. And my fiance does nothing to stop it, especially now that he's in a bad place in life after he lost his job. And since he's keeping it secret then I'm the one paying for everything. This has been going on for four months. Last week, his parents invited us for dinner and he insisted that we go. So we went at dinner at the dinner table. His mom grabbed my hand literally while I was eating and looked at my bracelet and went quote, Oh, this bracelet looks

really nice. Did Jason pay for it? I nodded and reminded her that he bought it for me as a birthday gift last year. She was like, quote, Hmm, wonder how much it costs. She then leaned back and said, quote, You know, I remember when my brother was dating this gold digger woman, she'd wrong with them. She'd receive expensive stuff like this pointing at the bracelet bracelet here for her birthdays. I was stunned. I cut her off and asked if she meant to say that I was a gold digger. She threw her hands up and went, quote, I mean, if the shoe fits while laughing awkwardly. What the fuck? Is this real? This is real. Silence took over. I looked at my fiance and he shook his head at me like he just shrugs. What? I snapped. I told her it was bold of her to imply

I was a gold digger when I'm literally providing for her unemployed son have been for the past four months now. Fuck yeah. They all looked shocked. Good. She glanced at me in shock and his dirt. Eat dirt, bitch. Kick rocks. Literally. We used to say that so much. I kind of miss it. Me too. Just fucking step on Legos, bitch. That's a, that's so good. So good. They all looked shocked. She glanced at me in shock and his dad asked if it was true and my fiance just froze but looked angry. An argument ensued and dinner was cut short and we had to leave after they started berating him. He had a rage fit in the car, just yelling and lashing at me. Okay, little bitch boy. In my defense, I said that he sat by and let his mom continuously imply that I was a gold digger,

but he said that they never outright called me a gold digger. Just did. So it was all in my head. I hate him. I hate him. That's some gaslighting if I've ever seen some. Yeah. Oh. He said I still had no right to take advantage of his quote unfortunate circumstance to get back at his mom and expose him to the family. Oh my God. Well, stop being a little bitch. Be honest with your family. That's not taking advantage. His parents went on about how disappointed they were and now as a result, he got disinvited from Thanksgiving. Okay. Just throw the whole family away. He blew up at me because of it this morning and kept saying I screwed him over so badly when he was just an innocent bystander. What? What is happening? I'm sorry. I'm sorry

for interrupting your story so much, but like I couldn't hold back on this one. What the hell? I think I got it all out. I don't have a response. That's all. Next story. If you didn't want to be exposed, this is a really easy solution. Hey mom, you know, I did buy her this for her birthday. She's not a gold digger though. This was a nice gift. Hey, did you remember that engagement ring dad bought you? What size carrot is that? Are you a gold digger? Does that make you a gold digger? You know that bracelet that got you for Christmas that one year? Are you a gold digger mom? Like shut it down. Stand up to her and then you wouldn't have had to have been exposed. Totally. I will. Okay. I'll do the whole like, you know, I'll be kind on the aspect of like

hearing that his family berated him like that, hearing that he was in a situation where he is unemployed without even, it sounds like hearing him out and what like happened and what's going on in his life and then uninvited him to Thanksgiving. That is some, that shows you how he was raised. You know what I mean? So that gives me like a lot of sympathy and compassion for him because like, holy shit, if your family is treating you like that, no wonder he was being like a little like trying to hide it and like letting your wife take all the blame and take all the berating because he knows how toxic his family had been to him because it's like, who does that? I mean, I don't know if that's a normal like thing, but I can't imagine my family ever doing that to any

one of my family, like disinviting them because they were unemployed. Do you know what I mean? Like that's when you need your family the most. That's when you should be like, hey, come to Thanksgiving and let's send you home with leftovers. Yeah. Let's figure out like what your game plan, like let's be here for you. I think there's like, and I don't know. I think some families have like there needs to be this level of status quo that you meet. And if you can't uphold our status quo, then like you're embarrassing or you're less than us. Like looking at how they treat her, like her family coming from a working class background, and they're constantly insinuating that she's a gold digger, they do look at her as less than. And the fact that her son is now

unemployed, it's like, you're a disappointment for us. Like you're supposed to be making really good money and blah, blah, blah. It's like, that's crazy. It's really not healthy. It's generational trauma passed down. I don't know though. I'm not going to give them that pass. Like maybe, maybe there was a lot of pressure to perform, but like you're coming from a well off family. You already have a lot of privilege. I think this is just snobbery. Yeah. But that's my point is that I know people who their parents are so particular with them about who they should date and what job they should have and like all this stuff about their lifestyle decisions. Yeah. Because their parents were like that to them and their family members all have these like,

they feel like they're under a microscope to all their family members and they're always trying to like fit into this like perfect image because they've been trained their entire life that that's what success looks like, that that's what it looks like to make it in the world. And so that like, I mean, who knows what this, this is just like making shit up. We don't have any idea like what is going on here, but it's just, it's like when you hear stuff like this and this whole family just being so shitty to everyone, it's like, I mean, look at that. Like this, because this guy was constantly being treated by his family in a certain way, assuming, then it's like he's let his family treat his wife that way in order not to like

handle the berating from his family himself. Like it's just like it's passing down. Well, this is true. I do really, I understand what you're saying now. I'm just like, eat the rich. But it does remind me almost about like Paris Hilton. And I'm not sure if you ever watched her documentary she did, but I know enough to understand what you're going to say. Absolutely. Incredible documentary. Like probably one of the most well done documentaries. It was really, really good. And I think looking at what she went through and the trauma her parents subjected her to. And even in the, in the documentary, her mom was still like unapologetic. Like Paris literally, for those of you that may not have seen it or don't know, like Paris Hilton

wasn't necessarily like a super rebellious kid, but didn't feel like she fit in with her peers. And so found solace in going out and going clubbing or like, which, hey, as a high schooler, yeah, probably super inappropriate. But in my head, I didn't think that the steps they took were necessary. Yeah. Like what they did was very drastic. I've seen enough of those YouTube videos to know what you're talking about. So they essentially like kidnapped her. They hired these people to come in, kidnap her and take her to these ranches. And I actually have one of my good friends from Minnesota that his mom did the same thing to him. He was kidnapped and taken to a ranch in Montana. No one tells you what's happening. You literally think you are getting

kidnapped. Yeah. And then you get put on this farm that's like a work farm. And it's fucking terrible. Like Paris talks about how she like got, she tried to run away and the guy beat her up. I have a friend who had that happen, but the same situation, but actually she had agreed to it to the program. The other option was take her in the middle of the night. Yeah. And so she agreed to the program. Thank God, because otherwise she's like, I would be so fucked up over it because once she got into the program, it was awful. They're horrendous. It's traumatic. Like what they do and the way they treat them is just like, it's, and she even said that like a few months after she left the program, there were, I think it

was the program was actually in Mexico and these like huge like walls around the entire thing, helicopters that came in from the States and we're like dropping down ladders to like rescue people and like to invade it because of how poorly everyone was being treated and how inhumane it was. So like those things, it's crazy because the parents are trying to do something like to help their kids. They feel it's a last resort. The last resort. Yeah. That's what Kathy Hilton said. She's like, I didn't know what to do. Right. And it is tough, but like, God. For sure. They sent, they sent Paris to so many of them and it's just, it's so sad. So I do like, yeah, there are those rich families that they will do crazy things and still like have this money and send their kids

off to boarding school and don't like love their kids in the way that they should and spend time with them in the way they should. So I do get that, but I think if you marry someone, like you should then at least have like the decency to like support your partner in difficult situations. Oh yeah. And I do understand that's easier said than done to stand up to your family. You know, I think we've all lived that first hand at one point or another. I mean, it goes back to the thing where it's like the way that he treated the situation was wrong. His traumatic past and his childhood does not excuse his actions currently, but it allows us to give compassion for where he's coming from. Exactly.

But he does scare me though. Yeah. The rage, the rage fit. Like I was just rereading. I agree. He had a rage fit in the car just yelling and lashing at me. In my defense, I said he just sat and let it, his mom continuously implies a gold digger, but he said he never outright, she never outright called me a gold digger. So it was all in my head, blah, blah, blah. Like, I can't stand when guys do stuff like that. Like that scares me when they're that emotionally charged, like, and they fucking like start like screaming and freaking out. Like, you just don't know what someone will do. And yeah, it's just like scares me. It is really scary. I've seen it before once in my day. I did not like it. No. Okay. I'm

like, is he going to hit me? Do you just, that's what I, I, yeah. I haven't read the top comment. I'm kind of scared. Okay. It's got a red box. Not the asshole. I think you should uninvite your fiance from your wedding. Oh, they're not. Oh, I thought they were married. Oh, good. She can still get out. Still can get out when you're married. Just, just a little harder. So warning. Okay. Yay for that. He doesn't have your back. He's willing to lie to his family for months to protect his reputation. He's going to be willing to lie to you too. And this won't be the last time he blames you for the faults and actions of himself and others. Yeah. I'm, I'm definitely like here in the story, if I was in the situation, I would, I would leave him run. I would want to leave him.

I know, I know it's easier said than done a hundred percent. It's, but from an objective point of view where I have no emotions and other ties and other intimate like experiences involved, it feels like an easy answer. But I know it's so much, much harder than that. Yeah. They've been together for, doesn't say how long they've been together. My fiance, they're 33 and 29 though. So no comments from OP. All the comments that I'm seeing are very supportive. The next one down from that top one is seriously don't walk down that aisle. He's more than willing to have you be the bad guy. And not once has he tried to fix their perspective of you. Instead he keeps it that way because it makes him seem better than you.

If you have a baby with him, guess what? You're the gold digger that baby trapped him. Do you really want to listen to that? I mean, I think the parents are no longer going to do the gold digging thing, knowing that she supported him for four months without a job. You hope so. You never know. You hope that would knock them down a peg. Or maybe they'll be like, you're the reason he became unemployed, aren't you? People like that will always find a way. They'll always find a way. Yeah. Yeah. I hope there's an update on this one. I'm very, that does worry me that he lashed out and they get being upset that your secret was exposed, especially if he did have a traumatic upbringing

with his family. But there's a way where you could have just gotten in the car and some people need anger management. I recognize that. Yeah. I get it. I do get that. I get people have emotions and he was overwhelmed, upset, hurt, whatever. But to fucking flip out on your fiance then and just rage at them and scream at them? Yeah. This is your fault. All of this is your fault. And the gaslight? Yeah, seriously. Hope we see an update, but moving along. Are you stuck in the city life routine? It's time to get outdoors and enjoy the fresh air. You're missing out on bold journeys and brave adventures that are just waiting for you. When's the last time you saw a breathtaking sunrise or a stunning waterfall?

Have you hiked at Zion's or four-wheeled at Moab? An RV is the perfect way to blend the comfort and convenience of home with your outdoor adventures. Whatever your needs are, we're here to help. Visit a Motorsportsland RV center or motorsportsland.com today and let Motorsportsland help you get away. Moving along, moving along. Oh, this one looks fun. We like fun ones. Another dinner party. Okay. Am I the asshole for leaving after being told to be quiet at dinner? The title probably makes it sound worse than it was, but I'm still conflicted. Sounds like something I would do. My female 21 boyfriend, male 24, of almost one year, invited me to dinner with his family, mom, dad, and his 16-year-old brother. Never met them prior

to that. The only thing I knew about them is that they're conservative and Christians but lovely people. And they were. I got along really well with them before dinner. They were lovely and talkative. When it was time for dinner, my boyfriend's dad wanted to pray. After praying, he said something along the lines of, quote, let us dig and let the food keep us quiet. This is a pretty popular saying in our country, mostly told to young children in school. My understanding of this has always been that you shouldn't speak with food in your mouth or be extremely loud at the table. I wouldn't say it's a cultural thing, though. I dug in, took a bite. It was fish soup. Absolutely delicious. And you know, like a good guest,

I wanted to compliment the cook. This is delicious. Is it saffron? A perfect autumn soup. It was all in quotes, by the way. My boyfriend's brother looked surprised. My boyfriend's father hushed me big time, a really aggressive shh with a finger over his lips. And then he said again, let the food keep us quiet. What in the cult? I'm literally just thinking that. I apologized because I thought I had accidentally spoken with food in my mouth or something, but a few minutes passed and nobody said a word. Super awkward and weird, especially since they had been so talkative before. My boyfriend was also unusually quiet. After a few minutes, I was too weirded out and asked about their day and how, god damn it,

and how nice it was that they invited me there. And his mother did the hush thing. So awkward. I think this is when it clicked. No speaking at all at the table. Let the food keep us quiet. Really quiet. But this was a super awkward situation, and I couldn't deal with that. Imagine sitting at a table with five people, everybody eating soup, looking dead serious. So I laughed. It just slipped out. Ended up being told off by boyfriend's parents that I was being disrespectful, etc. And if I didn't respect how their household worked, I could eat alone in the kitchen. We were eating in like a separate dining room. So I thanked them for the food and left to the

hotel me and my boyfriend stayed at. My boyfriend later told me that was an asshole move, that I should have just kept quiet or eat alone in the kitchen. I understand their family traditions and rules, but it was so weird. I just couldn't take it anymore. Was I being the asshole though? I don't know. This is kind of hard because I'm laughing so hard because I 100% would have laughed. I can't help it. I am such a sarcastic person and I just like these type of things just make me giggle. I don't know why. Or even if I don't find it funny, it's like sometimes I laugh. I laugh because I'm uncomfortable. You don't know what else to do. I definitely, like laughing is just, it comes out all the time, whether I'm like scared,

sad, happy. Like a laugh comes out. I feel that. But it's like, okay, he should have warned her beforehand if that was the cultural norm and expectation. You can't just like, what? That's different. Like, and I'm sorry, if it's not different, then like, I'm not familiar with it. But that's news to me. I didn't know that people did that. And so I just think that it's pretty, makes sense that you would let, you know, your significant other know the first time that they're meeting with your family, unless he genuinely thought everyone did that. But this is why he hasn't, this is why he has not introduced his family after a year of dating. That's why I took a year. But then say it. But I don't, I, you know, and it makes me wonder if like, he just grew up with

this. So at this point, he like, he thought it was normal. That's what I'm, and this is what all families do. But also at the same time, it's kind of like, have you ever been in dinner at a friend's house? Yeah, anywhere else. But like, some people didn't. And like, there was this thing with, there was this thing that like really blew up recently. And I think it started on Reddit, and then people brought it to Twitter and TikTok. But there was this thing where in Sweden, if you go over to a friend's house, it's really common to not be invited down for dinner. And so like, the parents will be like, okay, little Johnny, come down for dinner. But oh, your friend, tell him to stay up in your room. Like there, this like went super viral.

And maybe that's a rumor. I'm not trying to slander Sweden because, you know, I gotta, I gotta love my Scandinavian countries, my Finnish self here. But I have Swedish in me. Look at you. But apparently that's a thing. So maybe, maybe they just, he just grew up and was like, didn't have other experiences. So he was like, Hey, this is what we do in my house. And like, can you just respect it for one dinner? We're just visiting this the first time, like make a good impression. But I'm going to say like, not the asshole. Like this is a really weird situation. Yeah. Really weird. And to be like, aggressively shushed with like, an actual finger over the mouth, like, are you, oh my God, I've, I had like an X one time shushed

me and it is literally like the most like, disrespectful feeling ever. How? Like that, like, in what context? Like, if I was saying something and they were focused on something else, how long did you date them after that? A while. But yeah, I was like, I was so thrown back by it. And I literally said to him, I was just like, don't do that. Don't do that. Like literally just do that again. Yeah. I'm like either like walk away from me. Like I'd rather you like slam the door on my face than like shush me like that. Like that's just so disrespectful. Don't do that. It's such, it's not a good feeling at all. So that's just, that's rude. That's rude in every language. It is. Yeah. Like that aggressive, I should say, like if you're like shh,

like that, but when you're like shh, like in someone's face like that, like it is so jarring. Also it's the first time she's there. So I'm meeting them. Yeah. And it could have been like when she started talking, it could have been more of a conversation and like, hey, you know, we have this thing in our household where during dinner, we actually don't speak. Sorry. It's just kind of one of those things where it's like, give her a little more context. So it's not like this thing where it might feel like a prank because have you seen those TikToks and it's, this is funny because it's like, this is more harmless, but there's these TikToks where it's like, I brought my boyfriend over for a family dinner for the first time. And as a joke,

we all stood up and said the pledge of allegiance before dinner and every single video. Like this has been a prank trend on TikTok. And this is another prank. This is one of the few that I'll get behind. Yeah. Because it's so harmless and like funny. Did I tell you what we did to Jeff and his best friend whenever he first met my family? No. Oh my God. So it was like, we were all outside and it's like during like, you know, it was within, not that long ago, but it was, people were not as afraid of COVID anymore. Like things were starting to become like, things were back to normal. And I invited him over to the backyard and I was like, should we mess with him and pretend that we're like super, you know, whatever. So we all put our chairs around the

bonfire, like all like, I think like 15 feet from each other. So we were like 15 feet each other, like in a huge circle and we all had our masks on and we're outside. And so then when they got there, we're like, do you guys have your mask? And they were like, oh, sorry, I'll go get one in my car. And then my brother was like, no, it's okay. Like I have masks for you guys. So we hands them the mask. And then he goes, here, you guys can be seated right here. They were not only like not in the circle, they were literally like 20 feet outside of the circle. Oh my God. And he just went along with it. Yeah, they went along with it. And they're like, so they started talking to them. And then all of a sudden we all started dying laughing. We're like, we're fucking with you guys.

They're like, oh my God. They probably were so weirded out. He's like, what am I getting myself into dating this girl? Well, it's like, and it was so fair because it was like, it was, everyone was really worried about COVID. And like, it was just starting to be normalized to be able to like be around people. And so it just, it fit perfectly. Yeah. We do have quite a few comments from the OP on this one. And by quite a few, I mean three. Info, is this a common practice where you are? Is it more of an outdated tradition you knew of and had never seen or had you never come across this before? If it were me in my country, I'd absolutely say you're not the asshole. I'm not sure I could have kept a straight face over such an absurd and outlandish request. But that's on

the basis of the cultural norms of the countries I've lived in. It really depends on how common this is in your country and how reasonable it was for you to not know about it slash for them to expect it. And OP goes, I wouldn't say it's a tradition at all. It's something you say at like preschools to keep the kids calm, I guess. I always thought it meant to not speak with food in your mouth. So it was just double confusing. I saw someone say I should have gotten the hint too after the first time, but like, I've never met these people before and they were talking a lot before dinner. And someone goes, info, if you have been with your boyfriend for a year, do you eat with him? How has this never come up? What was his excuse for not warning you? My boyfriend talks when we're

eating. I know he has a weird relationship with his family. I was about to meet them this summer, but he changed his mind and said it wasn't a good time, which is what I said. I'm like, this is why they haven't met. He's also told some weird stories about them, but usually excuses it by that they're conservative Christians and that's how they roll and that they're still good people. But some people said this dinner thing has nothing to do with being Christian or conservative. So I'm guessing the other weird things has nothing to do with it either. It's just so weird that they made me feel so loved and welcomed at first and then treated me like shit. I haven't talked a lot with my boyfriend about this after it happened Friday because I went home Saturday and he stayed.

He did tell me he had no idea they were going to do that when I was there. He said not every dinner is like that. And I guess I'm kind of bad with social cues and my boyfriend just expected me to understand. I don't think he's ever mentioned the quiet table though. I also want to say that the expression I'm talking about can literally mean two things. It's either shut up and eat or don't speak with food in your mouth, but no one takes it literally and most people interpret it as don't speak with food in your mouth. And someone goes, you're the asshole because once you cut on you laughed, that was disrespectful. Pretty sure you knew that too. Yeah, that's why I was like, it's kind of hard to answer because it's like, I mean, well, it's kind of an asshole move,

but I also feel like I would do that out of like uncomfortability or maybe I literally just would think it was funny. I don't fucking know. It's weird when your face was something like this and you really kind of questioned your sanity in that moment. Because I would, I would definitely look around and be like, Ashton, Mr. Kutcher, I would be weirded out. It's not a normal thing in our context, which I do appreciate that comment or being like, hey, where are you from? Is this normal to provide more context? But it doesn't sound like it's normal in her context either, which then makes it really acceptable that she had this reaction. They continue on like walking out in a hissy fit was an asshole move. You just escalated it to

a whole another level. Your boyfriend is also the asshole as he should have warned you. OP responds and goes, well, it's not like I wanted to laugh. It just slipped. A nervous, really awkward laugh. Like when someone is telling you you're lying, but you're not, but you laugh anyways, and I didn't leave in hissy fit. I just felt super awkward and uncomfortable. His parents raised their voice at me without trying to explain things calmly, which is like, they should have done that. They should have been like, Hey, dear, this might not be your usual, but we don't talk during dinner. Say something. Like, why does it have to be in a prayer? Say it beforehand. Hey, by the way, we have quiet time at dinner. We don't speak. We practice mindful

eating. And instead of conversing with each other, we try to mindfully eat our food, which is actually a thing. Mindful based eating is really fucking good for you, actually. And that's great. But it's like, say that. Don't like, put it in some like poetry poem, like prayer, prayer, poetry, prayer. You know what I mean? Like don't have her decode it. No, just say it. It's a little goofy. Say it and then do the prayer. We can have, we can have it all. We can be happy. All of us, all together. Everybody happy. Where's Justin communication? Yeah, seriously. I think I do think if that would have been like preface, just like that would have been set up front before dinner. I think it still would be weird, but at least she would have known like this is a

usual thing. Like we don't talk, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I also don't think it's rude that she was like, Hey, thank you for dinner. I'm going to excuse myself. Because at that point, like, how do you like get through that without, it's uncomfortable at that point. Yeah, especially after someone raised their voice at you. Exactly. And she like that, like I said, that's really a jarring feeling. Yeah. Top comment, 48,000 up votes, not the asshole. I could have warned you and given you the opportunity to skip dinner because you don't dine in monasteries. Also, you are not a three year old to be sent to the kitchen to eat alone. I know. That's so weird. Someone next person goes, this is super controlling weird behavior.

Do they shush everyone who eats with them or do they expect OP to follow this controlling behavior? The fact they tried to send her to the kitchen is absolutely bizarre. So weird. And rude. You don't speak to guests in your home that way. I think I told you this is funny because it's actually, I was at a friend's, well, a friend's grandparents. We were visiting in Chicago and I had no idea. I felt so embarrassed, but her grandparents are Jewish and I believe, yes, I believe they're Jewish. And anyway, we were all eating around and they made us this amazing meal and we're all eating together and we're laughing and we're having this great time.

And they're in the middle of like talking to somebody, like one of our other friends and I didn't want to like disrupt anyone. So I was like, you know what, I'm going to do the plate thing. And instead of asking, I'm just going to go into the fridge and grab some butter for my potato. And then I bring the butter to the table and they were like, no. And I was like, what? And they were like, no, dairy. And I was like, ah, it's not kosher. I know. I felt so bad. I felt so stupid. I was like, oh my God. Anyway, so it's really, yeah, it's, it really sucks when you like are just trying to like be polite and then you like end up not doing something. Doing a faux pas. Yeah. And you're like, fuck, like, but, but they were nice about it. You know,

they were so nice about it. And I was the one that felt so embarrassed and like, no, no, no, it's okay. Like what I, and then I hear this story and I'm like, these parents were mean. They're mean. Don't be a dick. I know. Very, very weird. I'm in a weird mood right now. I know. I like it. Let's keep rolling. Is it obvious? I think we're both just a little unhinged today. I'm not even unhinged. I just feel like I'm like aloof or not even aloof. I feel like I'm just floating. Yeah. Floating in the sky. I like that. You know what? I'm going to get myself another drink. Okay. Okay. The thought of my sons growing up without me inspired me to quit smoking. I talked to my

doctors and then I threw away all my cigarettes, ashtrays and lighters. I started exercising instead of smoking. Staying away from alcohol when I was first quitting was key. I kept on trying. Learn something each time. Do whatever it takes. No matter how many times it takes. We did it. So can you. For free and confidential help, call 1-800-QUIT-NOW or visit waytoquit.org developed by CDC. Okay. So in honor of Thanksgiving, also like Thanksgiving, it's kind of fucked up. Yeah. I just like the food and coming together with your family. I don't want to pretend this whole bullshit we got fed because that's not the real story. I feel like that's what a lot of people, at least people that I am surrounded by do now. It's just about

a day that we get off on the work calendar that we get to all be together with our family and eat food that we really like. I know. I wonder if renaming it would like, you know how Columbus Day is now Indigenous People's Day and anyone who still calls it Columbus Day, like get with the times, let's go. So maybe like, you know how changing the names sometimes is better? I'm also going to try to make an effort to not say picnic anymore. I'm sure it'll still slip out, but like picnic is actually super racist. Whoa. Yeah. So I'm now going to say blanket banquet. Hey, do you want to have a blanket banquet? It's got a ring to it, right? I just like feel like I'm I'm going to fuck it up at some point. Yeah. Don't quote me. It just doesn't roll off the tongue

for me. Do we need something else? But like there's certain things that's like changing the name sometimes. Why is picnic racist? Because they would essentially lynch black people and have picnics while they did it. What? Yeah. It's really racist. And then sometimes they would take body parts home as souvenirs. Picnic is really bad. Don't fucking tell me that. It's really bad. What is wrong with the human race? A lot. So picnic is really bad, more or less right. So I wonder if we should change the name of Thanksgiving to something else. Just to like reestablish that it's not let's call it giving things. Oh, no reverse. Yeah. Yeah. I could give that. So the title is am I the asshole for telling my girlfriend that she can't speak

Japanese to my parents during Thanksgiving? Probably. I mail 35 have met my girlfriend female 30 at work. We're both interpreters. We've been together for a few months and Thanksgiving will be the first time she's going to meet my parents. I am half Japanese. My dad is Japanese. My mother is American. My mother learned Japanese so she can connect with my paternal side of my family. Me and my siblings all speak Japanese. However, none of my siblings spouses do. My girlfriend Sasha started learning Japanese before it got popular. She started learning it when she was 14 has both a BA and an MA in Japanese and translation and interpreting. She sounds as close to a native speaker as possible. Wow. However, I warned her that she

shouldn't try and speak Japanese when meeting my parents or grandparents and that she's forbidden from using it. Even when I'm using it with my siblings. What rude. This. Okay. Let's get through it. Okay. She asked why and I told her that I'd hate for my sister in laws and brother in laws to be uncomfortable because they don't speak it and I don't want her to become my grandparents slash parents favorite because we've only been together a few months and it wouldn't be fair if they liked her more than my sister in law of 10 years who doesn't speak Japanese. I don't know if I feel like this is thoughtful or just like fucked up. The latter. Yeah. She said that's ridiculous and she shouldn't have to hide it. Yeah. I said that

perhaps later when we've been together for longer. She asked if she had to pretend not to understand me and my siblings when we talk and I said exactly. She got really weird and went home. She's been kind of distant lately and I told a friend about this and they said I was a major asshole. Yeah. And if they ask her about her job, does she have to lie as well? I admit, I hadn't thought of all that, but I still can't see that I did anything wrong. What? So am I the asshole demanding she lies? Yes. Weirdo. I don't get that. Like, okay. The only silver. Whoa. Silver lining? Yeah. Okay. I was like sliver lining. Could be both honestly. The only sliver or silver lining is that it's like, oh, that's kind of cute that he was looking out for like

his other family members and knowing that they might be insecure about the fact that they can't speak Japanese and like, it's like maybe just use it on the next time so that they all get a chance to fairly talk to like my grandparents without them like freaking out over you like me. And like so that I don't know, like that was like the only part that I'm like, well, maybe he was just trying to be so loving to like these other like his family members. Yeah. But like, but no, that's complete fuckery. That's ridiculous. Like who says that? It's one, it's such a big part of her life, which is why it's fucked up. You know what I mean? Like, I mean, it's ridiculous regardless, but the fact that it's she spent years and years of her life like dedicated to this language when

she clearly loves it. It's clearly a part of her. How could you tell her to like hide that? That's so dumb. Especially when it's a bonding moment. Yeah, it's wrong. It's wrong on all levels. I think what you want that, what you want her to be like the favorite, it's weird. I don't necessarily like, I don't think just because she speaks the language is like instantly going to make her a favorite. I think that's kind of like an unjustified fear. Yeah. But I think it does show us. Yeah, like it does show, I don't know, like if the grandparents lived in Japan and grew up in Japan and maybe just come, maybe, I don't, I don't, we have so much missing context, so I'm not even going to assume. I just think it's really, really cool that she does speak their language and to

show that sign of respect, like even a greeting in Japanese might be really beautiful, a great way to connect. And it's weird. Like, why are you hiding a part of her? I also got really weird vibes when I read this line. My girlfriend, Sasha, started learning Japanese before it got popular. I thought that too. I thought that too. I was like, what are you replying? I don't understand that. I was like, like, is it now a trend? I'm, yeah, I'm confused. I think, I think overall people are more appreciative of learning new languages. I think there's a big push to learn more languages now. I think we recognize the value in it, but I don't, this is really goofy to me. And I think, I think it's weird too, where he's worried about her not speaking it to make the sister-in-laws

and brother-in-laws not feel left out, but yet he'll still speak Japanese with his siblings. Totally. So why the double standard? Why are you going to enforce her to not speak it and pretend she doesn't know the language? Yeah. Because I think that honestly would go over worse, because if she does start speaking it down the road and the family is like, why don't you do it? Hey, would you met us? Why did you pretend you didn't know Japanese? I want to know what his real reason is. There's something else going on. I almost wonder if he is so like, let's say he's not completely sure about the relationship. He's like a little like, he's like, maybe we won't end up together, whether it's he doesn't think that she likes him enough

and that she might leave him or whether he thinks that, you know, he doesn't know if he's totally bought into her. And he knows that the minute she starts speaking like Japanese, that his family is going to pressure him to marry her and be like, this is the one, this is amazing. And they won't ever let him like live it down and it will fuck with his head because then he's still trying to figure it out on his own if they're right for each other, if they're going to be together. And he knows that we'll like mess with him because I have a friend who actually, maybe I could see that that, but still, it doesn't, like don't bring her that just, you don't just because you've been dating for a few months doesn't mean you had to make that

invite then. Yeah. But okay, sorry. Oh, no, no, no, it's fine. It's an example of me interrupting. No, I was just gonna say, because I was also going on the tangent, but like, and I literally just said on our break, I was like, no more 10 gentle moments, Lauren. Happened. Can't make those promises clearly. But no, I have a friend who was talking about how her mom had, when she brought the last guy home that she was dating, her mom was so excited about him and was saying like, he's the one for you. He's amazing. He's like just everything that we could have ever hoped for you. He's perfect. Oh, God, the pressure. And then it didn't work out. And so much pressure from her entire family about how wonderful he was like made it like made the

break up so much worse. And she felt like it just like a disappointment. Yeah, like it really and like she felt like I can't find anyone like better that's going to like make my family and make me so happy. Like it just really got in her head. And so her parents actually like ended up being like, we, you know, the next like anytime you bring a guy home like now, like we actually learned our lesson, we don't want to have too strong of opinions on him because we want you to be able to make that up for yourself and really be able to think about it and like and not have it us be in your head, whether it works out or it doesn't. So it doesn't have such a like, so it's not so taxing on your mental health. Yeah. And I thought that was really cool and

like really big of the parents to realize that to admit their mistake. Yeah. Yeah, because when they were trying to do a mistake, you know, they were just like, yeah, they realized that it. No, I got, I got that when I started dating Justin, my, I had family that was like almost comparing like, oh, he's your type. Like so and so was just so, so tall and so this and so that. And it's like, yeah, it's so and so is a piece of shit. And I'm not with so and so. Yeah. So like, hey, that's, that's maybe not rehashed the past and like make Morgan feel bad. Yeah. And it's like, it's just weird. It's just a weird comment. Yeah. So I get that. But there's no comments from him. So nothing to indicate what this is all about.

But I don't know, he is 35. Maybe there is some pressure from family to like get married. It sounds like all of his other siblings are. Yeah. But I will say, if this were me, and I married into a family that spoke another language, like I'm just talking about the sister law that the sister in law has been in this family for 10 years now. Why hasn't she taken any initiative to learn that language too? Like now all of these other people are married. This is a part of their family. This is a part of now their culture. Their kids are probably going to grow up speaking Japanese. Yeah. Why not take that initiative? So like they're not the odd ones out. And like, I get like learning a language is really

it's hard. It's challenging. It can sometimes be expensive. Time consuming. Time consuming. It's challenging as an adult. Like it really is. But at the same time, especially like, I feel like Japanese, what's the word? Like the way. Pronunciation. Like, yeah, like I feel like Spanish is hard enough for me. Like rolling my R's is just like a non, it's not happening for me. It's a non starter. Sometimes I can get it, but mostly not. It's really unfortunate. It makes me sad actually. Japanese is considered one of the most difficult to learn by many English speakers. Yeah. With three separate writing systems as opposite sentence structured English and a complicated hierarchy of politeness. It's deceitedly complex. Yeah. You got to inject that

shit in me. Like when Mandarin's like that too, I think. Like six months old. Approximately it will take 88 weeks or 2200 hours of studying to become fluent. But there's 52 weeks a year. And like if your husband spoke it, like I would make that a part of my daily life. I'd be like, honey, can like, when we're preparing dinner tonight, could we maybe talk about like the meal we're preparing and like come up with little phrases? Like also if you're around a certain language enough, like you do start picking up on things. Yeah. But I'm sure they don't talk about it much besides when they're with their family. You know what I mean? Like Alejandro speaks fluent Spanish and I didn't even realize that.

I was like friends with her for like 100 years. And then all of a sudden like, what? Yeah. Like I didn't know it until like many years into our friendship. I obviously know now. I was like, but like living with her, you didn't know? No, she never speaks it. Like ever unless it, unless there's a situation where, and I just wasn't around her in those situations. So it was like, we were at a hotel and somebody was Spanish speaking and she just started like going off. And I was like, I think the coolest is she's, oh, it was so cool. I was like, I knew you spoke Spanish, but like I didn't know it was like that. Like you were a fluent Spanish speaker. That is so cool. Yeah. The one that shocked me is chill when we went to Mexico.

Oh God, insane. I'm like, dude, I never would chill. One of our friends chill who listens, Alexis, you funny bitch. I just love her. She's the most wild, loud, rambunctious person. And she's hilarious. You just would never expect like out of anyone to know another language. Like I wouldn't have expected her. Like I don't know why that's dumb of me, I suppose you could say. But we went to Mexico for all 100th birthday last June and we are just in these places. And this like gringa, just fucking just chirping away, like bantering back and forth. And I was like, where the fuck did this come from? She's like making fun of us like to other Spanish speakers. Yeah. They're like, what's happening? Yeah, no. They're like all laughing and she's like,

don't worry about it. Oh my God, I was just like, oh, so good. God amazes me. It was blown away. So it's literally something I would always wish that I would have learned when I was a kid. Same. So badly. Kids go into language school. Let me tell you. So envious. It's incredible, honestly. Yeah. So I just deeply appreciate language. And so for me to like, if I practiced a majority of my life, because she's 30, this is over half of her life, she's basically a fluent native sounding speaker. If then my boyfriend was like, hey, you have to hide that part of you. And the fact he didn't even think about the job because that's like the first question his parents are going to ask, like, where are you from? What do

you do? And it's going to be like, I'm an interpreter. What language? Can't tell you. It's a secret. I actually work for the FBI and the CIA. I have to kill you if I told you. Weird, weird, weird, weird. Okay. Top comment. I'm scared. Okay. Good. You're the asshole. It will make an impact on her relationship with your family in the future. How are they going to react when they find out she's been able to communicate with them this entire time? That's also a recipe for disaster. Imagine they're just like, this little bitch sucks in their own language. Okay. Oh God. And then she's like, thanks. Hi. This actually did. This was another Reddit story. It was about a guy who had this crush on a girl from class, I believe. I'm going to butcher this because this

is a long, long time ago, Reddit read. And it was so cute. But he had this crush on a girl and ended up like speaking the same language as her. I think it was Mandarin or Korean or they spoke the same language. And so he didn't tell her that she spoke, like that he spoke the same language as her. And then when he met her family, he ended up saying hi to her family in that language. And she got so upset with him that he had like hit it. But I think it ended up being that she was more embarrassed because she had talked to a friend in front of him and been like, yeah, he's cute. I like him. But he didn't admit it at that point either. It's sneaky. You've seen stuff like that. It was this thing. And it's just like,

but they ended up having a happy end or happy ever after, I believe. But this could go very, very wrong. And that's kind of what we touched on. It's like, well, what happens the next time when you just start talking to it? It's like, what, you knew this last time? I think the good moral of the story though is like also just like, don't like talk badly about people or say things about them that you wouldn't say to their face, which is easier said than done sometimes when people just like are people. But you know, it's like, it's funny because it's like, I've heard this so many times that people will speak in a different language, like making fun of someone. It's like, if you're not going to say to their face and like, shut up. I'm sorry,

I was talking shit about you. So funny. I mean, humans, whatever, we're shit talkers. But at the same time, it's like, let's be a little bit less. Let's be a little nicer to each other. Come on. Super weird. I just think this is unnecessary. I think like, there's times in my life where I hate when people lie so unnecessarily. And I don't ever want to feel like I need to lie. Like, like every family has certain dynamics. And so it's always like, can like just don't like, blah, blah. And I'm like, but if I get asked, I'm not going to lie. Because that creates more drama for me. Yeah, I think it's a good thing. I think that's just like, if that's an issue, like you should address that issue. But like, don't make me out to be the bad guy or don't

force me to lie. Why lie so unnecessarily? That was like the absolute best thing. I feel like, I've mentioned like, Jeff a few times in this episode, which I haven't in a while, but shout out to Jeff. But God, it's just like, that was like, the one thing that I always could rely on that I fucking loved. Even when I didn't love it, I loved it. He didn't lie. Like he just didn't lie. And sometimes I would be like, please lie. I'd be like, just tell me you like the fucking shirt, bitch. But it's like, I honestly, I appreciate it so much. It's so refreshing. And it's just like, there's like a weight off your shoulder when you like genuinely feel like someone doesn't lie. Like it feels really good. And yeah, yeah, yeah, someone else the next comment after

top comment only has 1.5 K. So this is really small at this point. But the next comment after is right. So you've been eavesdropping on our conversations this entire time and didn't say anything. Right. Which is like literally what you said. I'm just going to refresh, see if it's still there any 2.9 K upvotes now. It was posted seven hours ago, but no, no comments from OP on this one. I was thinking it's so interesting when people write in to am I the asshole or like any of these forums and they're like, am I wrong for this? Or am I the asshole for this? My friend heard the exact same situation. My friend told me I was an asshole, but what do you guys think? It's like, I think your friend who knows you pretty well would give you an honest judgment,

but yet here you are thinking you're still on the right. And he did. He's like, I don't, I don't see anything wrong with it. Like what? What? I don't know. How could you not see something wrong with telling someone to censor themselves, not be themselves? That's like the real thing is that like, I even told my friend the other day, like something that he will say, I was like, Hey, I just want you to know that it like kind of like makes me feel this way. And it's not about me when he says these certain things, but it kind of makes me feel this way. And he was like, I don't know what to say to that. And I was like, okay. And, but then what I said afterwards at first I was like, that's kind of like a mean response. But then afterwards I was

just like, no, like I just want you to know like I'm not, because he was like, I just don't know if I can stop myself from doing that. That's just like a part of who I am. And I was like, no, I don't want you to censor yourself. And I know that that's like, you know, I want you to feel as free to like speak in front of me as possible. But I figured it's better that you know, like that you're aware that like sometimes when you speak about these certain things, it makes me feel a certain way. But I don't want you to censor yourself. I just want you to be aware. Just be aware. Yeah. And there's a way you can say things like more tactfully. Exactly. It's like, yeah, you can still be honest. Yeah. But sometimes like people are like, oh, like

what's this? There's a saying, oh my God, it's a really good one too. Like you can still tell the truth without being an asshole. It's all about how you say it. Yeah. It's not like a lot of times it's not what you're saying. I know you're talking about. Yeah, I've seen that. I don't want to. Like you can say like, instead of being like, hey, that fucking sweater that you're wearing today, you should never wear that again. It's fucking hideous. I don't like the knit on it. It makes you look bad. Feels a little too real. No, I actually really like it. I was going to ask where you got it. Sarah got it for me for Christmas last year. It's really cute. When did she leave? How long has she been on for? Forever now. It's so sad. Has it been one

year or two years? Feels like forever. Oh my God. She moved a year ago. Okay. About. Yeah. Well, she, no, no, no, no, no, no. Because she lived with Dinah a little while after. I'm so confused now. I don't even know what I did for Christmas last year. Yes, I do. Yeah. When did I move out of my apartment? Was it a year ago? Yeah, you guys moved out in like November. Okay. Yeah, I got this for Christmas last year. But then she came back and lived with Dinah. So it's confusing. Anyway. Yeah, weird. But then you could say, Hey, you know, there's not a nice way to say this is there. I don't know. Be like, Hey, well, okay. So say you were, say you were asking me if we were going to go out and you're like, Hey,

do you like the sweater versus like the other outfit I had on? And you could, instead of me saying all the mean shit I said about your sweater, it could be like, Yeah, I mean, it's okay. But I think that other shirt looked better on you. Yeah. Yeah. You don't have to be an asshole. Like the first, first example. Wow, that was really hard. Yeah. Okay. Moving along. He sucks. I have a feeling if this is all the accurate information I have a feeling by her closing down a little bit shutting down, maybe they'll break up because she she seemed, I thought you're going to say maybe we'll figure it out and he'll apologize. Maybe they'll be done. I don't know. We'll see. We'll see. But she got really weird and went home

is how he described it. She's been kind of distant lately. So I yeah, that's frosty. Why does it have a shaker in it? I don't know. It's from the dollar bin at Target. That I was gonna light up. But I think they'll they'll they'll sort it out or they'll break it up. The thought of my sons growing up without me inspired me to quit smoking. I talked to my doctors and then I threw away all my cigarettes, ashtrays and lighters. I started exercising instead of smoking. Staying away from alcohol when I was first quitting was key. I kept on trying. Learn something each time. Do whatever it takes. No matter how many times it takes, we did it. So can you for free and confidential help,

call 1-800-QUIT-NOW or visit waytoquit.org developed by CDC. Okay, this one's really weird. Okay. So am I the asshole for blackmailing my cousins into not telling an embarrassing story at my little sister's wedding? My 35 male little sister was born when I was 10. My parents expected me to help with her and I tried my best. When she was about three months old, I was told to change her diaper. I tried, but I ended up puking on the poor baby. Oh wow. It was so gross. My older cousin 38 was there and he loves to tell the story. Well, we are talking about my sister's wedding and he says that he is going to tell the story. I say it's gross and not appropriate and that it is embarrassing to me

and my sister. He said it's a part of the family legend and everyone will think it's funny. So fine. I agree. Then I mentioned the time that he almost threw his baby son over a picnic table. He was holding his son and making himself a sandwich when he noticed that he had mustard on his arm. So he licked it off. It wasn't mustard. Baby poop is weird. I had to take the baby because he literally was looking like he was going to chuck the kid. Then he went over to a tree and threw up for about five minutes. We told everyone there that it was food poisoning. He started yelling and saying that it wasn't the same and that I am an ass for threatening to bring that up and that lots of people don't know. Yeah, lots of people don't know because I kept my

mouth shut. So am I the asshole for threatening reciprocity? Nope, fair enough. Gross. Fair enough. I love that I snuck a poop story in an accident. I know. To be honest, I don't know why, but I don't think that licking a little tiny ounce of your baby's poop is really that... What are you saying right now? Trumato. Well, somebody just told me recently that your baby's farts and stuff. Okay, well, maybe farts are different. Have you smelled baby poop? It's so bad. It's so bad. I shit on my dad's head once on an airplane. It just seems like it's like, how could it be that bad? It's just like milk turned into... There's something about that smell. Is it really that bad? It's worse than adult shit.

Worse than adult poop? Worse. Way worse. Way, way, way worse. Even just a dab of it? Like if he thought it was just a dab of mustard, was it really that traumatic? Oh, clearly. It went through up for five minutes and almost threw his kid. Well, that's why I'm saying, why was he being dramatic? I don't know what I'm saying. I'm repulsed by you. What did you just say? I don't know. I mean, I'm just saying, yeah, it's disgusting, but he's making it seem like it's such a big, huge story. I don't know. I just feel like mistakes happen. It's not like he swallowed a bottle full of it. He didn't chug a gallon. Do you know what I mean? It was like one dot is what I'm picturing and it's like one dot. It's like, what?

I'm picturing an over-catch-up hot dog on his arm. If it's on your arm, how big can it be? If you're going to lick off, dude, I just said I shit on my dad's head on an airplane. Yeah, but if you shit on someone's head, then you're not going to lick it off. No, but it just leaks out the diaper. But my point is that it was probably just like literally less than my pinky fingernail. It was probably like one drop and yeah, I'm sure it was gross, but is it really that big of a deal? How much would it take for you to taste test baby shit? Like how much money? Yeah, 1,000 bucks? If it was literally like a brain drop? No, like a brain drop? A mustard, a mustard squirt. That could be so many things. I'll demonstrate in the kitchen,

but just picture like a quarter-sized dollop. A quarter-sized dollop. Quarter, yeah. How much money? 1,000 bucks? Would you lick it? Would I get sick? If you puke, it's up to you. But I'm saying would I get sick in the long run? No, you wouldn't get, so we're going to pretend there's no equal. There's no issues long run. It's just in a moment. Yeah, I'd go for 1,000. What? Wow, no. I'd take at least five. You also have to know that I'm like a big like, my entire like upbringing was like people like would like bet me on stuff like to eat like a bug. When I like would watch like Fear Factor, I'd be like, I could do that shit. Okay,

I really wanted to go on that show with you. That's right, you did. The Amazing Race or whatever. I think it was the Amazing Race. No, Fear Factor came back and you were like, why do you do it? No, no, no, I was Amazing Race. It was never Fear Factor. Maybe you'll need to apply to it then. Maybe. But I wanted to go on the Amazing Race with you because me and you, like they have these challenges where it's like, go from Paris to Berlin without any money. me. First one there wins. And me and you, we would fucking crush at that shit. We would absolutely crush the things we've been able to do on our trips. Like, we got free Segway tours and rode around on Segways and Prague with bottles of vodka in one hand, driving

the Segway with the other. Like, we looked like little- We were like smoking weed and we don't even smoke weed. We were so chaotic in Prague. It was a great time. Oh my God. Love that city. We went to the Sex Museum. We rode the penis. We rode the penis.

Yeah, that was really good. What was your favorite part about the Sex Museum? I don't know. I think just like the fact that they, like sex toys, like discovering that sex toys have basically been around since the beginning of time. Forever. Like human. They have stones and wooden dildos. Yeah.

I can't imagine the wooden dildo, the slivers. Oh. But. They sand it pretty well. Yeah, they were smooth. Looking. And they had, they had, because looking, looking. No, no, no. But then in Thailand. They're smooth looking. I did not use it. No, but there was something in Thailand. Don't you remember seeing all the wooden penises

in Thailand? No. They were everywhere at the market. It's like wooden carved fallacies were everywhere. I think I was too busy looking at the tuk tuk's. No, I was going to say the people that do like the ping pong show, like advertising. Oh. No, no, no. They didn't, those weren't the advertisers. It was the people, it was like the drag queens. They were so fucking beautiful.

Yeah. Literally the prettiest person I've ever seen in my life. Beautiful. I've never seen a more beautiful person. Unreal. Unreal. Oh, what was that place called the pussy penitentiary, the dance place where they'd all danced? I don't know, but I, I, I like that phrase. I think it was literally called the pussy penitentiary, which is crazy, crazy name. Can we rename the podcast that?

No. Jesus Christ. Oh, people don't like two outtakes. They're like, there's three of you. There's four of you. Oh my God. I don't, I, again, when I started this thing, I thought it would be maybe my family and just friends that would listen and then maybe a couple of people above and beyond them. But like, that's not true. You liar. I was the one who thought it was going to be no one.

No. Our first episode, she was like, people could be listening from who knows? France. I knew Germany. Well, I obviously had to believe in it to start it, but I didn't think it would be as expansive and I didn't think our family would be as big. And so I didn't think I'd have a best friend penpal from fucking Russia. I didn't think I'd be stuck with a shitty, unoriginal name forever. I thought it was a great name.

It's fine. Because it was supposed to be just me and you. And committed at this point. We're 91 episodes in. Yeah. And it was supposed to be me and you until you quit on me twice. That's just not how it all happened. Is it though?

Okay. So not the asshole for this thing. Baby poop, weird. I know people are going to ask about the me pooping on my dad's head. I was a baby on an airplane. I was really upset. I was a super colicky baby, really fucked up stomach, still have one shocker. And he was walking me up and down the aisles, sitting on his head. You know how you have a kid on your shoulders. And we always played this game like, where's the baby?

And I, he'd like cover his eyes and then be like, and I'd like lean down over his head. It was the cutest fucking thing. I got, I got really great home videos. But during this time of me running up and down or him walking up and down the aisles of the airplane, I had a very traumatic diarrhea on him. Traumatic diarrhea. It was so bad. We've just been using traumatic so much lately, just throw it on the diarrhea too.

Traumatic diarrhea. Yeah, it was, it was not a good time for him. Can we put that on merch? I have traumatic diarrhea, aka IBS. I have traumatic diarrhea all the fucking time. I think that honestly on a coffee cup, I could get behind that. I have traumatic diarrhea. Yes.

Yeah. Top comment on this one. Not the asshole. Oh, how the baby poop turned tables for your older cousin. I love how both stories are baby poop related. So perfect. Also random though. Why were these parents having a 10 year old change their newborns diaper?

I was thinking that, but I also don't know what like the, what the regulations are. I haven't even changed the diaper. What's legal these days? I honestly think I've changed like once and I was like, this ain't the life for me. Oh God, that's like, that's the biggest thing. I'm like, people say you get used to it and like, you just tune it out the smell. But like, no, all of my work at hospitals, like I, I have had to change many chucks, which are basically puppy pads you put under people.

I've had to do a lot of wiping and it's at least for me, not something you ever get used to. And maybe it's like one of those things where it's like, oh, if it's your kid, you get used to it. Yeah. And it's telling me, that's why I was saying, like, was this guy being dramatic? Cause like somebody was telling me that apparently like your baby farts and like poops, like because they're so a part of you, it like, it's as if your own like farts and poops, which is

like, they don't gross us out as much as they would, you know, someone else if it's ourselves. So that's why I was like, is this guy, like, is this guy okay? He threw up five times. Oh, for five minutes. Oh, I don't know. I don't know what this was. Probably the five minutes. But I can just picture him.

He like threw up and then he's still over there. Just like dry heaving. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's, that's happened to me once when I consumed something I wasn't on. It was an accident. Yeah. Ouch.

Not the asshole. Sometimes, sometimes you have to fight fire with fire. I agree. One last wedding one. We're not getting through four cause I got a piece. So this is the last one. I'm like talking fast cause I have to be so bad. I'm like the asshole for wearing white to my wedding.

I recently got married to the love of my life, Jay. We had a perfect wedding except for one thing. My mother-in-law's freak out when she saw my dress. When we had gone dress shopping, I invited her and I found my perfect dress. My husband's family has a tradition of always wearing blush dresses on their wedding day. They told me about this before and I respectfully said I would wear whatever color dress my perfect dress was. Once I finally found it, it was white.

Mother-in-law asked me to ask if they could alter it to make it blush or to find a new dress if they couldn't. I said I would ask, but if they couldn't, then that was that. Long story short, they couldn't and I showed up to my wedding in a white dress. All through the ceremony, mother-in-law was seething. In the reception, she pulled me aside and asked why my dress was white. I told her that I didn't want to find a new dress and they couldn't alter it. She said it was a tradition and she was disappointed that I had broke it.

Jay also said that he was disappointed when I walked down the aisle in a white dress. Was I the asshole? That's the husband? Yeah. Wow! Really? Was I the asshole? I could have just changed my dress.

Fucking no. I mean, cool. I get it. I get it. Traditions are super fun, but I honestly think traditions can be toxic. Hot take. Yeah, like that Hyman one we had on one of the first episodes. Yeah!

Yeah! Fucking like tradition to check at Hyman. It's a tradition. Come on. Like, no. Just because you put the word tradition on it doesn't make everything okay. If you want to have the dress of your dreams, it's your day. I keep saying this, normalize the fact that if it's your wedding or your life, you do

what makes you happy. Normalize that. Yeah. Well, and I'm going to be honest, I wouldn't want to wear a blush dress if it was like, if Justin's family came to me and said, hey, it's a tradition to wear a blush dress, I'd be like, hey, super happy for you guys. That sounds great. But my dream has always been to wear a white dress.

Yeah. Like, that's just my dream. Honestly, I think it's nice enough that she was so open to it. Yeah. But she's like, yeah. Like, if I could get it tailored. Some people would be like, fuck no, like, because obviously traditionally in a lot of people's lives, white wedding dresses are tradition.

So it's like, for them to like go off the like, sorry, yeah, for them to like go against the grain and want the blush one. And for her to be like, yeah, like I'll look into it and actually genuinely like consider it. That's so kind. And for like, yeah, for like the mother to be seething during the wedding, okay, it's not your day. And for the husband to be like seeing her down the aisle and also be upset, like, what, it's

your, it's like, should be the best day of your life. You should, no matter what she's wearing, you should just be so like, well, and to tell her that. Yeah. To tell her that. That's, that's a super really nice happy wedding day. No. Oh, that makes me sad.

Also like that's, I think there's again, one of these things where it's like, you might be thinking something like for example, and I always run this risk when I say stuff because like Justin edits the podcast and he honestly could be here already, but like, I'm not going to say it. What? Now we want to know. So we ordered like Thai food the other day and he ordered it to the wrong restaurant that was like 10 minutes away versus the one that was like right in front of us that we

were at. Like it's like across the street from his house and like, I didn't say anything. I held in my, my sadness and like, yeah, you, but you don't like just because you, you might think something doesn't mean you always need to communicate that to your partner. Wait, sorry. Hold up. Was that what you were worried about cutting out? Yeah.

I just don't want to hurt his feelings. You're so sweet. I just love him. Aw. But yeah, I just think like there's certain things where it's like objectively, she probably still looked beautiful. Yeah. The color of dress isn't going to change that.

Yeah. There are some comments from OP. So someone goes, you're the asshole for not being honest. You could have just said you didn't want to wear a dress like that or you could have told them before the wedding, your dress is white. Okay. That's actually a good point. I kind of, I kind of skipped over that, but I was thinking that why didn't, why were

they all surprised when she came out? Like I think because she said like, cause the mother in law was like, can you alter it or like if they can't change your dress, but she said, I will look into it. And if not, then I'm not going to. Yeah. So her response is I was honest. I told her that I wasn't going to do it, but she said that she thought I was joking. He sounded like I'm a lots of raptor.

I know. I just love responses like that. Oh, okay. Okay. So next comment though, not the asshole. Why is it a tradition that they wear blush? I'm just being nosy. OP goes, apparently J's great, great, great grandma wore white and she died right after

as well as some other deaths in the family associated with wearing white on your wedding day. So J's great, great, great, great aunt wore blush and she had a long happy marriage with lots of children and didn't die until she was 90 or something. Whoa. I don't know really. Okay. Honestly, that's kind of a dope tradition then.

I still wouldn't do it, but that's really cool for them. Would you do it? Yeah. I guess I don't know. I think that's kind of dope. Like there's lookup. Blush wedding dress. I guess like, I don't, I feel like I could not after that story, like marry the family.

I don't know. Yeah, it is. Yeah. Okay. I might buy into it. I think I would buy into it. You could also have two dresses. You could have your actual like ceremony and a blush dress and then change into a white

dress. My friend, Noel got married and she had two dresses last weekend, like two dresses. You can switch. Yeah. A lot of people do that nowadays because like your wedding dress, even with it bustled with your train tucked up, it's still like really hard to dance in and not, you can't move around. And so she put a shorter one on.

Okay. I'm googling, or not googling. I'm Pinteresting blush wedding dress. Okay. Okay. I see. There are some beautiful options. Ow.

Ow. That is sexy. Okay. I could get behind this. Yeah. I'm on board. I still don't think she's the asshole, but like if this is technically blush, I don't think she's asshole either.

I'm just beautiful. It almost looks like a really, it still looks white in these pictures. I don't think she's the asshole. I just think it's a really dope tradition. So I get it now. That's beautiful. Oh my God. Okay.

Maybe I want blush. That escalated quickly. Yeah. Right. I think I was envisioning like, I guess for me, and maybe these photos have filters on them. For me, it's corn. But like that, that's okay.

That's as blush as I would get. Yeah. But there's this other one. It's really pretty. There's this other one where I would not be on board. This one would not be on board. That's too pink. I hate the color pink.

What? Really? Yeah. Or not hate. That's too strong. I like pink. I like light pink. It's not my favorite color.

It doesn't look the best on me. But yeah. Cool. I mean, it's grown on me. This has grown on me now. Yeah. Yeah. I think that I still don't think she's the asshole, but at the same time, it's like,

maybe she should have made it a little more clear to them so that they weren't so shocked. Yeah. You know? I know like for a bride, it's kind of like involving the husband in this a little. I know for a bride, like, oh, how do I wear this? What were you going to say? I was just going to say, I'm still mad that the husband was like disappointed when she came to the aisle.

That pisses me off. Yes. Well, and so here's what I'm going to try. Unless he was like, you're going to die. Maybe. Well, maybe that's why. Because he's fully bought into this. Yeah.

He's spent his family tradition forever. And he's, they've probably constantly talked about this, especially when he got engaged and stuff like that. Right. And sometimes we associate like, oh, the wedding is mostly planned by the bride or, you know, and obviously that can be very different for LGBTQ plus couples. But oftentimes there's like this pressure to be like put on a bride where it's like the bride plans the wedding and weddings are mostly for the bride.

And maybe that's like a misogynistic thing. And I think sometimes the guys or people that identify that way or maybe the other person that's less involved can sometimes be forgotten about or decisions aren't made with both people. Yeah. And so when it comes to a wedding dress or a tux or whatever is traditionally worn, it's like the bride picks out her dress and then the bride goes with and helps the groom picks out his tux.

And that's just kind of a common thing. But it is interesting because there's like also the, I almost said conspiracy, but tradition where the groom doesn't see the bride before, otherwise that's bad juju. It might have been nice, like given this family tradition to have that be a part of the conversation and be like, Hey, are you going to be disappointed if I don't follow your family's tradition and where I wear white instead? Like I think that's like kind of like as your partner, you should have given him that respect. Yeah, totally.

I totally agree. That was a long-winded answer. No, it was perfect. I actually really, really liked it. But that's not traditionally something you think of. Like a lot of people are like, Oh, the bride, the bride hands down picks her dress, bottom line. Right.

And it really should be like so much more, I mean, a fucking relationship is a compromise and communication and working together. So it's like the bond of that should also embody that too. Yeah. I think at least if there's a tradition like that involved. And there's so many people that would be like, No, honey, I don't care what you wear, whatever you feel happy and beautiful in. So to pass.

I still think like it's her day. If she found her fucking perfect dress, that's amazing. It's also his day. If he has some like very deep rooted tradition that makes him afraid that his wife's going to die if she doesn't follow it, then it's like very fair that he expresses those things too. And that's where you just need to meet in the middle, have that conversation and like be really real with each other and figure out a compromise.

Yeah. So top comment at this point in time with 3000 Upvotes says, Wow, what a memory to have on your wedding day. Next comment, not an auspicious start. What is auspicious mean? I don't know. Let's look it up. Also, what is that cahoots thing that you have over there?

That's from a speakeasy in London that me and Justin went to on our recent trip. It's like their menu. So we thought it was like really cute. So we framed it. We framed it. We get crafty with weird stuff, auspicious, conducive to success, favorable. There is another comment that they go, mine pulled me aside at our reception and said, quote, did we just make a huge mistake by getting married?

I was obviously hurt, but kept it to myself and reassured him. We did not. 25 plus years later, and I'm asking myself, how much longer can I do this? The answer, hindsight. It's always 2020. Whoa. But one should pay special attention in the moments because sometimes we fight for things that aren't really worth saving and you realize it too late.

Wow. Holy, that was a deep comment. She goes, edit to add, I forgave multiple internet emotional affairs and one meetup where they didn't sleep together but fooled around in the car in a McDonald's parking lot. So classy. I chose to fight and try to save the marriage as my vows are incredibly important to me. And it's why I am still here partly anyways.

It's a complex situation and this post isn't about me, so I don't want to hijack it. Just saying to OP, think long and hard about what you want and what you are willing to tolerate and forgive. Keep your boundaries clear and visible, be your own advocate and don't let anyone change you. Oh, I love that. Yeah. I really do.

Yeah. And this person, they go, we were 19 and 21 with a one year engagement. We got engaged after 10 days of knowing each other, living together after one month and married one year and one month after we met. Young, immature, but so in love. A lot of wisdom there. Yeah. It is a really shitty thing to say to someone like, oh yeah, I was disappointed when I saw

you walk down the aisle. Like that's a fucking stab in the chest. But I think when you are expecting one thing and you get delivered with like opposite results or different results, it can be jarring and being honest, I guess. But again, sometimes you don't have to say the things you're thinking to your partner and it doesn't hurt the communication. Sometimes you can just be like, hey Lauren, that white sweater, it's okay, but I liked the other thing you were wearing better.

This episode has been brutal on my part. See it? See how I just turned it around? Yeah. This one brought it all back. Yeah. I got to get it together. My head is all over the place lately.

No, that's not true. This was great on your part. I loved your part. Okay, okay, good. Yeah, we both were blind reacting. Yeah. This was fun. I should do this more.

It was a good time. I thought it was really, I loved your blind reactions. Blind reacting. What are we going to call this one though? It was all over the place because of that. I just feel like it's like family matters, slash, family matters, slash, let me try that again. Yeah, try.

Family matters. Well, we'll think about it. This is why she comes up with the titles. No, it's probably solid. People in the comments are going to be like, that was great, Lauren. Totally fit the vibe. I'm going to pee. You get the honors of telling people about our upcoming live show by myself.

Yeah. Are you serious? Take it away. I've never been by myself right here. Talk to the people. Holy shit. Okay. Hi guys.

It's just us right now. This is kind of crazy. But we do have a live show coming up and it is the beginning of December and we have in person in Los Angeles and then we also have a virtual show and I'm really bad with dates. So Morgan's going to cut this and I'm going to look at the dates. Hold on. All right guys.

So December 2nd is our live and in person show and December 4th is our virtual show. They're going to be two different topics. So if you can do both, that would be amazing. But we have links all over the place. If you go to the two outtakes Instagram account, you'll see it there. But we're really, really excited for it. So this will be our second live and in person show and we need all the support we can get. I know.

I'm scared. I'm getting nervous now that it's getting closer. Really? Yeah. I'm not. Even if there's like five people there, I'm going to have a great time. Yeah. I'm like giving presents to the people that come in the live.

Well, what if like 500 million people come? I don't have that many presents, but I have some presents to give people. How many presents? Can I get a present? You can have a present. Yeah. This is good news. How'd you do?

Did you feel that was that fun? No, it was really. Really? I'm sure you did great. You're going to have to crop that up. No, I'm sure you did great. But happy, happy giving of thanks. AK Turkey Day, whatever, however you're celebrating it, just, you know, try not to put too much

pressure on yourself. I know the holidays are really tough for a lot of people, so just, just have a good time. Just laugh, smile. And I know the holidays can be especially tough if you don't have family or places to go and things like that. So if you do fit in that box, like there are amazing, amazing organizations out there that put on Thanksgiving, like, lunches, brunches, dinners for people.

I used to volunteer at one every year in Duluth, Minnesota. And it's a great way to, like, if you want to volunteer and help feed people. Usually it's for homeless individuals, and it's just, it's a great way to give back, stay connected. You have the most amazing, meaningful conversations with people. And so if you are alone on the holidays, there are ways to get involved and not be alone and connect with others. So think about that.

And I don't know if I, I think you, you did the announcement, so I think we're good. So December 2nd and December 4th. Wait. Yeah, good job. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There will be a Patreon from this episode, so be sure to head over there. Which ones are you going to put on Patreon? I don't know what I'm going to cut yet.

They're all so good. I know. I know. They're all so good. Can you imagine if we put that memory card in and it's gone, and then we just have an audio episode? The entire thing. Well, half of it, because we stopped when you got a refill.

Our camera just died. So we'll see what this episode ends up being, but if it's an audio, maybe it's for the best. No, our facial expressions were so good. You're right. They probably really added to everything. Yeah, but honestly, I'm going to go check, I have anxiety now, so until next time, you know, until next time, yeah, December 2nd, December 4th, see you bitches there.

Bye guys. Bye. Bye. The thought of my sons growing up without me inspired me to quit smoking. I talked to my doctors and then I threw away all my cigarettes, ashtrays, and lighters. I started exercising instead of smoking. Staying away from alcohol when I was first quitting was key. I kept on trying, learned something each time.

Do whatever it takes. No matter how many times it takes. We did it. So can you. For free and confidential help, call 1-800-QUIT-NOW or visit waytoquit.org developed by CDC. It's spring tire sale time at Burt Brothers Tire and Service and the savings on brainy tires are rolling in. Now through April 18th, get up to $200 off select Goodyear tires, up to $120 off select

Bridgestone tires, and up to $90 on select Firestone tires. Plus, the savings will grow when you use your Burt Brothers card, from brakes, tires and oil changes to complete auto care. Let Burt Brothers family take care of you and your family's vehicle service needs. Burt Brothers, complete auto care, done better. Thank you. Thank you. Bye.