Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #218 - Joey Diaz, Betty Page and Lee Syatt
Episode Date: October 2, 2014Betty Page of the Famous Bunny Ranch calls in to Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt. This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout. Nature Box. Visit Naturebox.co...m and use promo code Joey for a free trial box Naileditlife.com - Get 20% off a vapor pen by mentioning the Church. Meundies.com Go to meundies.com/joey for 20% off. Recorded live on 10/01/2014. Music: AC/DC - Soul Stripper Hector Lavoe - Todo Tiene Su Final
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oh shit you bad motherfuckers october first wednesday it's a beautiful motherfucking wednesday night
fuck dancing with the stars in those fucking light-footed cocksuckers it's the church of what's
happening now october first the day the devil was fucked in the ass giving the bowler then they
gave him the fucking ices ices don't kill black people here we go kick that motherfucker lee what
wiggle fun copa joey what oh shit are you fucking kidding me or what i never cared what oh shit
oh shit linda angus young i don't know how old he was he was just killing this motherfucker
the car take that fucking leaf what
oh shit take that monkey out lick it flick it stick it in there lick that ass holy what
oh shit oh shit that motherfucker is on fire lisa yet welcome welcome to you motherfuckers at home
to the church of what's happened now guess what we got no guests tonight we got my girl betty page
calling in from the fucking bunny rance to tell us how she got into it what she does her specialty
all that type of shit it's just me and the fucking flying you welcome what's happening buddy now much
man i don't fuck you bang cock sucker what's with the questions i've been everywhere i've
been on the elliptical been over at skinny kitchen getting a great meal where have you
where else can i go like that club chicken sandwich over there oh it's so good it's just it's
grilled chicken they have a nice cheese they have turkey bacon to save so you at least feel like
you're still getting bacon i don't get the blue cheese dressing i go for mustard if the but where
is that is the fries the fries are like baked and it's only a hundred calories i don't i don't use
them to catch up because i'm trying to save but it's like nice crispy like potato wedges delicious
very nice so it's a nice time and everything's good oh yeah and it's great you got a goat cheese
omelet like heather mcdonald we're fucking kidding me a goat fucking cheese omelet are you kidding
me this is what we got to deal with in that way goat cheese omelet imagine you're waiting having a
bad day some fucking chick comes up to you and asks you for goat cheese omelet tell me you wouldn't
fucking pull out one of those ices fucking knives and slice a fucking jugger i know i would
or i like to goat cheese made me throw up the one time i had oh it's fucking that's for
fucking people i ain't go to get go to fuck your mother goat cheese fight blue cheese cocksuck
is goat cheese or american cheese yeah or swiss don't tell me cheddar because so help me god i hit
your head what's wrong with your microphone it's nice it's for fucking american cheese
2.0 no no no no no no it's a beautiful motherfucking day to be alive it's great to be here just
talking shit you know when we do the podcast with the guests it's just a different variation you
know we don't get the same much we do but uh you know it's about the guests so we i think it's
my i don't get the same much you you always talk you don't say shit because you're fucking
stoned to death like tonight oh my god now you're talking because i didn't fucking that's it we're
not doing no more edibles we went deep i don't believe yet someone write this date down what
the fucking loyalty to so kind cookies the fucking chef the new chef that the other night gave
him a donut i mean so kind makes donuts those little idiot listen i gave george one in new
york i gave it to him like when we checked it i checked him to the hotel maybe about seven
thirty quarter eight by nine o'clock he was at the restaurant he was just looking straight
and he would look at the food need it and then look up and look and finally he goes listen guys
i got to excuse myself george was on heroin for fucking ten years that's how strong fucking so
kind i mean and they don't sponsor us or nothing i'm just listen at the beginning of the show we
were talking about hilly six you know if you go to a store they cost ten bucks they only last one
day and maybe two days the reason why we have a hilly six as a sponsor it's a great value
we're looking for value here when you go to a chinese fucking lunch they give you the soup the
fucking fortune cookie egg rice the egg roll it's a value you go there you go wow for six nine
nine they even give you a fucking soda you know same thing with fucking hilly e six same thing
with everyone we're involved with yeah no everybody now that life is great they always they always
they come around like weed santa claus every time they're down here with the bed i just finished
fucking the peanut brittle two three days ago but uh it's funny how uh i forgot what i was gonna
the fucking talking about george george and the fucking food for the fucking money like a good place
to go to uh you know this chinese place in china town whatever but what i'm trying to say to you is
that uh for the 12th like i went to the store here that they have a $40 addable now that's 750
milligrams right and they're not gonna sell it because weed is you know for 15 bucks that's enough
i'm a weed yeah more than a week so it's 700 and i told them it's too high level for this neighborhood
they got regular ones for 20 they don't go nowhere they're 180 count and uh milligrams
and you know what the one fucking little brownie would do more damage than those $20 ones i put
the one little whole brownie over a fucking uh uh green hornet oh that's my star and that's a tough
call because the green hornet for 10 bucks is the best fucking value out there you know like
yeah somebody i don't know what they charge for gummies and monos but those 250 calorie gummies
they fuck you up oh yeah they fuck you up too there's a couple things that take you over there's
a couple things at the stores that you got a couple things just take you there and they they're
getting away with taking you there i want to get fucked up i want to go over the top i want to see
shit i want to giggle by myself you know i want to scratch my nuts and you know what the donut
wasn't bad the peanut butter really made it a little bit better because usually i'm i don't like
weird taste and i just for whatever reason chocolate and weed never really does it for me that's why i
prefer gummies uh but the peanut butter really helped but you know what on the elliptical yesterday
i didn't have a movie and i think i figured out why you're giving me the edibles because i used to
get not mad but i've been trying to die and and i keep fucking up with the with the uh munchies on
these edibles and i think i figured out why you give them to me why because i i i'm sure you've
done it a thousand how many times have you lost and gained the weight back 8 000 times no no no
just that one time you know and then when i was a kid uh one year i wanted to get ready for basketball
and i wanted a tuna diet also uh with just one slice of american cheese and a protein shake and
there was a wrong way of dieting but it worked right when i was 19 you know yeah but i must have
get lost and gained weight at least six times at least and i've been good on this diet but i feel
like what i what i came to the conclusion of yesterday on the elliptical was is that the edible
is showing me that me eating like that is still in me and even though it'd be great not to have the
edible i feel like it's it's forcing me to to fight eating like that so you always tell me how come
you go home and you don't eat because i go first thing i do when i go home is i drink a coffee
when i have those there's there's tricks for everything when you talk to a brick mason a guy
that uh carries airport luggage the first day you start you're gonna go jesus christ animals didn't
come back i was so sore yeah and then he'll teach you carries a hand card he does this he
does that and he like you don't work you figure out how not to work that hard yeah i figured out how
not to let now when i smoke dope i don't get munchies really when i eat edibles oh jesus
fucking mother christ oh late night especially the more sugar the edible has yep that's why i
always try to get low calorie edibles and low sugar and shit like that chiba chu even the
chocolate ones is 60 calories that ain't gonna make you throw your diet off with five grams of
sugar oh no the edible itself is another thing that i give you a so kind cookie yeah that's all
fucking sugar and milk and eggs so you're gonna that sugar is gonna fucking drive you insane later
later on in the night like a two you're fucking starving sometimes that's why i give it to you go
home and pass out yeah if you get up you're not a get up and a four tangerines oh wow you know
what it's like to eat four fucking tangerines and i by the third one i wasn't even chewing them i was
just sticking on in my mouth like a fucking well just because i did that weed makes everything
taste like the most delicious thing you've ever delicious and the tangerines were sweet but after
two tangerines i don't care how sweet they are you're like jesus i want a fucking steak sandwich
yeah and that's that's what i have to work on because i i've gone home and not eaten and i'm fine
it's almost like when you start eating on an edible it opens it up even more
you start cooking and here's the secret well i used to go out and go to mcdonald's but i was
trying to know now you're better than that now you're at least better than that but here's the
secret to it is to go home and find things to eat like you try with those fucking rice cakes but
they're so bad so that's why i would never eat a rice cake i'd eat something but one thing i'd
eat is all i'm gonna eat and it have to be really healthy so if i had to cook something i'd make a
tuna sandwich light on the mayonnaise heavy on the tuna and maybe use one piece of bread and a
couple crackers just to keep it low to fill me up i think four crackers i don't know how many calories
not many depending on what kind you get that's what i'm saying i don't think i can eat anything
there's little tricks i just have to run in my bedroom and i don't need a cheeseburger deluxe no
more and an order of steak fries well and i'm so i'll dog and a cream of turkey soup with a hair in
it stop it stop it from a diner a jersey diner you gotta have the hair cream of fucking turkey
soup a little strand of hair like it'd be a greek hair or Puerto Rico do you even take it out he
just take it like savage fuck it to go to go it's like eating pussy every once in a while you inhale
a hair what do you do you stop and pick it no you just you just you just swallow that mouth
to the ice his hair if you're eating a monkey and that thing goes into your throat and it's just
there while you're sucking pussy what do you do you're not gonna stop and embarrass the girl
you're just gonna swallow that hair like a fucking internet cheeseburger i've never won't get in my
throat why not you gotta bite it off you don't take that hair and they go crazy what are you doing
done and i'm a fucking savage that's what i'm doing you bite the hair sure you buy a little
haircut with your teeth you just bite that fucking hair let them know they fuck around you'll bite
that clip real hard too i don't give a fuck anymore it's still wednesday night the day the
devil was buried at fucking seat that's it new york was great i tell you what i realized about
new york that was really uh and i wanted to talk to the people because i got a couple i've
been getting great emails lately and uh one guy was talking about pain and i was thinking about
what the fuck is this guy talking about as soon as i got up to playing northburg you know when i go
the club gives me an allowance like most hotels when you work a comedy club most comedy clubs have
a few hotels in the area they do a deal with depending on the size of the comic that's coming in
you know uh joe rogan gets a complete way better room than i get you know dlu gets a complete
better room than i get bill burr gets a great room you know don't get me wrong i get a nice room
but they get sweets with butlers and shit you know uh you know me i'm the type of guy can sleep
anywhere i'm not like fucking heather i could sleep anywhere as long as it's fucking uh you know
i've slept in a while in some wild places when i go to north burgan i sleep at the holiday and
express there's nothing wrong with that because i tell you why there's reasons why because the other
hotels are unfortunately way away from what my world is or i could stay in the city which means
i'm gonna be in north burgan for a few days so i'm gonna keep going back and forth that's just an
extra ride cab ride february right i might as well just stay in north burgan all i'm doing in the city
is those two nights of comedy and going over there maybe eating dinner over with anthony over at the
something you know i'm not gonna fucking go crazy in new york so did you see him at the palms this
you know he came to the show friday night anthony but i did not i remember seeing his face
but there were so many people god okay you really can't talk you really there was so many
well you had like a few hundred people there at night right i'll tell you one man the new york
crowds are uh i'm home yeah i'm home in a lot of comedy clubs when i work there they're my second
home but this got them and this crowd that keeps coming to the same show uh renee and they're like
fucking a good-looking kid and a bunch of them it's uh when new york people the people that are
coming and a lot of Puerto Ricans a lot of dominicans they feel me they understand where i'm coming
from you know i heard that asian guy just took a vacation which one the asian guy who wouldn't
shut the window who got mad no they blocked them out they fucking blocked them out and they made
everybody go in i guess the one night they made have to get off earlier or something just not to
have problems out there you know they called me the one day and they said hey we don't want to repeat
what happened so me i don't give a fuck i like when people show up the network shows up and the
family shows up and we smoke dope outside and everything but this it was still a great crowd
i i still feel i'm i was at the stand Thursday night that's ari's club that's why ari does a lot
of comedy at the stand and fucking lee the food is tremendous i had that's what i've heard i had a
crab cake sandwich with a rugula on a multi-grain bread it was fucking delicious you eat a rugula
i love it i'm surprised it's like a lettuce right oh no it is i just i just thought you would
have been like there's been fucking nice bread for 74 years now eating a rugula
that's everyone wants it wasn't even a rugula it was like a spinach i'm saying a rugula just
because i love crab cakes it was delicious delicious i think george had the steak sandwich
and he said it was not bad at all nice comedy club small very intimate staff is fucking off the
chain you know pat mulligan the guy who books it they they used to do cringe humor okay so
that's where they're from and they opened up a club so that it was all very enjoyable
but getting back to pain you know i stay at that hotel because when i have nothing to do in the
afternoon i forced myself to walk around that neighborhood the same neighborhood was it in
the neighborhood you grew up in yeah right by mckelandy right by mckelandy right by the york
hotel where the ice man killed the guy in half we stayed not the hotel you and i stayed i stayed
at the one next to it the smaller holiday and express and there's the york hotel behind it
which is the best westerners um thursday i walked to mckelandy walked up the stairs took
me fucking 25 minutes those are the stairs of death i was i had a limp up the last two levels
you know i was already up there that's why you were skinny as a kid and then i walked down the
hill and then i walked to ray cannellis and lisa mesina's house how's he doing ray cannelli i
didn't see him i this is his old house oh old house okay so i walked over there to the corner
and i saw their old house and what had happened then i walked back to one day then the other day
i actually walked to charles court and walked around the neighborhood nobody was out in the street
and uh i never made it to given that terrace i didn't feel like going up my old block i don't
know why something just i think that this time the pain hit me i realized why when i go to new
york sometimes i get a little froggy i gotta get out of there because i gotta leave before the pain
settles the pain comes in little spurts it reminds me you know i was telling you guys monday i went
to the cemetery that's the first thing i do when i go off the fucking plane so you went to the
cemetery you didn't go to given our terrace no wow it's like right next door yeah i went to
cemetery with uh carlos and i put flowers and i cleaned the grave off and there was rocks in the
bottom i mean i pulled the weeds up with my hand you know it was uh and when i was doing it i couldn't
believe that uh like i said the i like to have been going to this funeral paul for 35 fucking years
this cemetery but i cleaned off her plot really good and i put the rocks to look really sharp and
uh i did that and i saw bobby bender and i saw carlos and i saw uh lubes the first night great
to see him games medibles he gave me a tray of chicken collards oh how what is that like though
it's uh i can't even imagine going to your parents grave so i've been very lucky i don't
have any grandparents left but they all passed away when i was younger i can't imagine going there
like i did it has gotten easier has it gotten harder that has to be terrible i don't know
i don't know because once i go into that cemetery all those feelings come back yeah
for a minute while i'm standing there i even my mind takes me away like it takes me away to
the year after she died and i had all these things on my mind all this heartache and this confusion
and uh fear you know i had all these things and i go through those emotions every time i stand on
that grave but i leave happy like i leave very content when i go to the grave i leave like if
i don't know i couldn't imagine there's a couple times i've gone back and not gone to the grave and
i felt really shitty for a few months and then when i've gone back i've made it a point and then
that one day i just said you know what from now on when i go back that's the first thing i do before
there's parties or talking or chit chat or meeting people let's take 10 minutes takes 10 minutes i go
i buy the fucking thing of flowers for 35 bucks 40 bucks i go down i dig a hole i put it in there i kneel
i smoke a joint sometimes i talk to her you know and uh that's it that that's basically it you look
around that neighborhood and what it's become and uh how they put things you know i uh i was saying
monday when i grew in that neighborhood i never walked on that side of the cemetery whenever i
walked up and down that hill before she passed before she passed i wouldn't i'm telling you i
wouldn't even fucking walk the creepy places man and now i gotta walk in there and walk in
there like a man you know and walk out like a fucking man so it's always been a weird situation
but nah man everything was great you know uh in fact today i called two of the people that i saw
and i told them i really missed them it was that type of uh of a weekend you know that's awesome it's
that i mean it's you've always talked about you told me ever since i've been going home that
each time you go home it's for shorter and shorter and it is weird going back but i i've
ever since i've known you've probably gone back four or five times and it this is the first time
you've been like you're usually like happy to get back and this that's pretty cool that you're
and getting to enjoy it now no i'm enjoying the whole uh the pace of it at this time i didn't let
myself get bullied into seeing 50 people i didn't make plans to go eat any big dinners with anybody
i didn't really see venery didn't even talk to venery i didn't talk to a lot of people and
talked to carmine didn't talk to a lot of people just because i just didn't have the time it's a
business trip it's a business trip i was raining the one day that took a day away i walked in the
rain that day from in new york and then over the shuttle i went for the walk to mckinley i just
walked in the fucking rain well you must have done that a thousand times as a thousand times but
never rains in california so i might as well take advantage of it feels great to fucking feel
raindrops fall on your head and whatnot but no it was great i i didn't get i worked out at the
hotel i didn't go to julio's jujitsu because we missed times we missed communications um
but no i went to jujitsu today how'd it go it was great i went last week to v mac and did a couple
hip escapes and some uh guard retention and shit like that today i went and i thought i was only
gonna be there for 15 minutes he made me do the whole fucking class but he didn't make me spar
everything else he made me do the technique after the class he made me take my pads off
and show him my knee and he goes you know what i'm lucky i didn't make you spar it's still swollen
i want you just to keep coming do the techniques do the warm up when you want to tap out you know
go on the side i didn't tap out that i did the whole it was great i really enjoyed going there
how's your stamina horrible yeah today when i was doing hip escapes there was one point i actually
had to get up and catch my breath and i started doubting myself maybe i'm gonna get a heart attack
and you know the whole Jesus well you said he lost weight in new york i did that's awesome amazing
when i went to the heart doctor because i was going to the heart doctor yesterday and that
mother fuck is a candidate about weight you know he's anti weight so i knew that i didn't want to
go in there real heavy so i wanted that pretty fucking life for me you know compared to laugh
he even said something to me because you're all working on it but he goes i need you really about
250 so i gotta go to work you know but it was uh yeah i watched that my fitness what's name
my fitness pal it's great it uh and the thing is it's not trying to to go about it a new way
even even the weight watchers which everyone loves and works great for you is switching it to points
all this is is it's not even telling you to do anything it's just saying log your food if you
want to lose weight this is how many calories you get for your size put your food in put your
workout in put your water in and it just tells you at the end of the day based on what today was
in six weeks or five weeks you'll be here if every day was like today and it's been you know what
people sometimes people say oh you're not supposed to count calories you know what man that that's
probably true whatever it works weight yeah you know listen man this how many people on this earth
something and we're so we're so the same but at the same time we're so different and we all
have different body types and different things work for different fucking people just because
i squat 20 squats a day and lose 80 pounds doesn't mean that's going to work for you right you might
have something different you're you're you're testosterone levels there's so many variables
you find something that works for you my whole thing is uh accountability and accountability
in life and accountability i really lost weight when i watched when i did weight watch is because
you write down what you eat and then at the end of the week i'll look at it and go do i really need
that yeah now i eat a sandwich there's no chips and bro there's shouldn't be chips in your life at all
at all that's just an extra it's like when you eat fat people like me when i go to eat and somebody
goes let's take you to dinner you want some wine fuck no i'm saving calories for the good shit
you know what i'm saying i'm saving my space it's like when you go to a buffet and you see these
fucking Gentiles getting like shit at the buffet line but at the end there's lobster tails
but you're eating shit well i'll get one later no go fucking bang those motherfuckers out right
now get your paperwork get your fucking paperwork you know it's the same thing you see what you need
to eat and you see what you could live without yeah and you go why they need that bag of chips
on their fucking calories first whenever i eat those fucking little bags of chips i want three
bags yeah of course so why even fuck around let me just eat the sandwich let it settle and then
we'll see if we're hungry and then we'll take the apples or take the peaches or whatever the
fuck you got in your heart in your heart and your thing and cut it with that you know yeah it's
really amazing the act of dieting you call it a diet or a lifestyle yeah that's a different mix
this together a little walking a little gym a little eating good a little drink and water a
little bit of sun some great rest that's included i went to bed 11 last night i was walking around
4 30 in the fucking morning these little things i can't eat i'm like i just woke up and just woke
i went to pee went back to bed and then i cursed myself because i asked you if you want to do a
podcast this morning okay i said we should have woken up into the fucking podcast this morning
but no it's uh i enjoy this i enjoy this listen i'm a healthy fat fuck i'm not gonna lie to you
i may be obese whatever the fuck you call that's the fucking regular gentiles you know what i
walk around i go to ymca you know i'm tight i'm a fat fuck but i'm tight yeah you know i do my
thing at least i try and that makes me feel a little better than just like i got a guy across
the street from me you've seen that fucking guy oh that guy was me that guy would have been me
but i didn't stop his whole body is dead like his whole his whole uh demeanor that food that he's
eating all those bags of junk food a killing who he is if he's not happy you can see that you know
healthy food makes you feel happy when you eat healthy you feel a lot better about yourself
yeah fuck yeah when you look at a fucking thing a mexican coca-cola you go you know what i could
live without that boy when you get in that car and drive do you feel good about yourself oh yeah
it's like anything else i turn it on a drink is i turning on a line of coke you came through for
yourself you coming through for yourself as well can you put the air on you coming through for yourself
is one of the biggest things you could do as a human being when i leave that fucking jujitsu
class and i get in my car i say a prayer for making it i ain't gonna lie to you i say a little
prayer and a lot of candle for making it for not dying hey at least you went to a class and i went
to the class i went to the class you know it's amazing how you have to look at this shit so
i always uh i don't reward myself that's where you go wrong people don't fall fucking leave
next you know you're on the building we'll open up a jews express in here where a guy can get a
black suit in a hurry but you always have to try that'd be a good fucking idea like a black suit
in yama gonna hurry come see lea a little fucking disguise oh what the hell you call it but no that's
uh it's really it's really i think my best uh accomplishments are where i do something for
myself how i feel like when i do something i didn't want to do yes i had to go to the doctor
in century city at 1015 it's either 405 the 101 or laurel king and you know when i left
there early and i made it on time yeah and it's always the things i don't want to do once i do them
oh my god do i feel good about myself and that's what people should be thinking that's what's going
out of your comfort zone oh yeah same fucking thing well for months before i started working out you
would call me every day and and get on me about walking and i'm a lazy person when it doesn't
when it when it comes to work i like working but when it comes to exercise i just it has never
been for me so i would fight it i would do a small one i wouldn't really do it but it's crazy how
in the few months that i've been working out it's gone to the point now where
i feel guilty about not going and i feel great when i do go even it's like today i had a busy
day i did two podcasts earlier and i had to go do some other stuff at home so i only did
half an hour on the elliptical day but i still got 400 calories in i got up a little bit of a sweat
and it's better than not going you got your blood going you got a little bit straight you got some
muscles going you know what i mean if you do a little stretching your liver got clean your detox
delivery the toxic kidneys you know there's so many fucking things that it does and i was very
fortunate because as a young kid my work ethic for basketball was all lifting weights so i got used
to it and it's something that nobody wants to do listen to me it's like you know nobody wants to do
unless you know you but once you go and you get into a system and you realize that it makes you
feel so good about yourself and some people say oh my god i don't know what the fuck you're talking
i just know that i just did something good for myself i used to do a lot of bad things for myself
you know now i do something good for myself it's amazing how i went from doing 20 bad things a day
and one good thing to 20 good things a day and one bad thing you know it's amazing how you change
your life around how you go for little things and it went from two good things you know three good
things and it's just you know water i don't i don't even know if it's true i don't know if it's true
but it's got to be better than drinking fucking sodas all day yeah anything is better than drinking
six or seven cans of coke but i did without even blinking or not i could drink seven or six cans of
coke from fucking eight in the morning to six at night easy oh it's easy it's the most delicious
thing in the world i with chinese food with a cheeseburger with ice cubes in it stop and
joint in the fucking trunk i love so that's the one thing i really need to to cut down on i've
cut way down on it i used to have maybe seven or eight a day now i've cut cut back to two or three
diet sodas in a day which isn't great but it's um i do notice days i have more soda than water i
don't lose weight i feel like it holds on the water even if it's diet yeah because it has high
sodium yeah i feel like it holds on to the water so i'm trying to do that thing that thing your
parents make you do if you want the soda have a have at least that the same amount of water first
just to try it i'm always gonna love soda i can cut it out if i want to but i've cut it back to
pretty recently you're 26 years old yeah i'm not sitting on no fucking high horse i stopped drinking
soda when i was like 45 yeah that's when i made the decision i wish i would have made the decision
at your age that would have saved the pounds well that's why i'm working out now because i used it
at night i don't drink alcohol yeah so i would drink you know let me get a coke let me get a
coke let me get a coke what are you drinking a coke coke coke because they're free refills yeah
free refills you're doing 18 fucking cokes do the math that you know whatever 120 fucking calories
you know if you drink 20 cans of 20 of those glasses at 100 calories 90 calories yeah what the
fucking you know i got very lucky that for it wasn't a weight thing i just always lean towards
diet coke it was regular coke was a little bit too sweet but i can't imagine trying to cut that out
because that's like you said let's see let's see you have just one with every meal that's an extra
400 calories you have to cut out that's i mean that's hard 400 calories takes half an hour on
the elliptical it's a lot and dude on the fucking bicycle you're there all fucking day burning 400
goddamn calories like that i love the bike i love going from my knee and stuff like that but that's
20 minutes you go uh i just blew 20 minutes for fucking 60 calories or whatever the fuck i burned
68 calories and shit so i had to pass on that but everything's good the knee i got a physical
therapy tomorrow are you worried about it with uh with with your daughter because i don't know about
terry's family but i mean are you worried about watching what she eats now that she's eating more
regular yes especially no sodas a lot in my house okay there's no cans you know there's juices for her
and there's water my wife cuts the juices so she doesn't have that much sugar you know
okay you just want to correct little things it's very easy for a child now it's like my friend he
says this kid only eats chicken nuggets so they have to buy chicken fry and bat them so they don't
eat that white shit they give you what everybody says they have white meat but it's really like
painted somebody told me it's they painted white i don't fucking know you know but i don't put anything
past these people anymore right you know you don't put anything past these people it's amazing uh
a friend of terry's uh him and his wife used to come over he was a bike rider he just got
diagnosed with cancer uh he got you know the the colon cancer okay one of those cancers not
colon but the other one when that guys get when you don't stick a finger up your ass every year
i thought it was colon why i know he's talking about colon uh and i was talking to him today
you know we were talking about what changes he made he's not getting chemo he's pulling what my
uncle did he's not getting chemo he's not getting the treatment he's going to mexico for a new
experimental thing and he's also changing it to an organic uh listen man my uncle's 78 he's had
cancer for two years prostate cancer is what he prostate and he's rocking and rolling he changes
his diet he doesn't touch sugar i mean he spends so much money on special foods he goes everywhere
just to buy a certain like that night the dodgy game he brought some little dried up fucking apple
i'd like to get the name of it and it's the highest in oxy accidents whatever the fuck it is yeah
he brought almonds these organic almonds he always you know and i don't know if it works i'm not here
you know i'm not here like it's like this guy this guy rode a bike from uh wherever 20 miles from
here north to downtown every day so he would ride the bike 20 miles from here to the bus over here
north hollywood then put the bike on the bus for half the thing then get back on the thing you know
and now he goes up he's been there's a guy that rides 50 miles on the weekends he's got fucking
prostate cancer you know so it's true they have to check it out you know you have to do the finger
in the butt i got it i got it three or four times it's not fucking glamorous it just scares me when
people say they don't want to do chemo and trust me i know chemo isn't uh guaranteed and i know
it it hurts people it's it's because it's putting poison in your body but whenever i see that i'm like
ah that why are you taking a chance on the new treatments listen man they do a lot of things
outside this country they're very beneficial we don't get the chance to do okay because of the way
politics and the medical system and insurances i don't i don't know the bureaucracy so please do
not attack me i'm just saying that i've heard this you know when you want to dial his buyers club
whether they talk he's a smuggler he brings in pills that'll stop or whatever the hiv virus
so neutralize it that aren't available here that the FDA will not pass so uh that's true doctors
doctors get together put a purse together go to the FDA and say he's a million dollars don't pass
that drug because we're out of business you know you pass that fucking drug we're out of fucking
business that's also true yeah so i don't know how it works i'm not accusing anybody of anything i
don't want people tweeting me later saying joey you're wrong speaking of doctors what are you
going to dallas anytime soon why would happen you didn't hear this fucking guy came from Liberia
and he's fucking on dallas for a week with the bola dallas is like the fucking worst luck in the
world a kennedy won't even go to texas never mind dallas that's where they shot kennedy right yeah
and now a bowl isn't fucking dallas michael ervin it's just bad luck dallas is just fucking bad luck
man that's why forget it i don't want to houston and i love dallas but now that the bowl is there
i heard they sent them home from the whole from the hospital that first day yeah the first day and
he went coughing and shaking hands and jumping up and down and eating fucking at the soul food
restaurant you know how many fucking people gonna get sick now i guess a kid his kid he was close to
kids his girlfriend's kids yeah yeah this is i knew this is gonna happen this is just a fucking you
know we're not smart enough to close it nobody oh you're from the united states in Liberia go
fuck yourself he's not even american i know no no shit no shit no shit no shit you know
listen bro every day more and more we're slipping but this is not what this podcast is about
fuck them they do what they do they keep slipping and we keep fucking shooting but at least it was over
in atlanta i was i was they were just keeping it in atlanta not till they were in dallas it's already
in atlanta i already don't like leaving the house they're already spreading it all over the
fucking place this is their this is it this is what they want bro this is what they want they got it
you didn't know to shut that fucking airport you didn't know nobody knew to shut that fucking airport
if you're african you ain't coming nowhere you ain't going nowhere that's it
fucking visas ripped up if you're fucking african and it's not i don't hate africans i'm just telling
the truth this is what anybody anybody's smart would have done until we find out what the fuck's
going on in africa nobody's coming out of fucking africa you're in africa it's pitch intent bitch
pitch a fucking tent cock sucker don't worry there's no isis and fucking they don't kill black
people they haven't killed the mexican or black people a chinese fucking person yet isis because
the only gentiles that sit there waiting for their nothing to get checked are these fucking momos
a black mother fuck is like fuck you bitch i'm getting mine you think i just kneel there and
wait like a fucking rabbit to get hooked by an a hawk yeah are you fucking crazy i'm at least
getting up and getting an eyeball and ear something i'm gonna kick someone in the nuts real
fucking hard why you would think so i'd bite their fucking dick right off i don't give up you're
gonna cut my head off there's 80 years i'm gonna take one of you i know i could take one of you
motherfuckers until you stab me i'll grab your fucking earball i'll stick my fingers in your
eyes i'm a fucking nut you know i hate Ebola i hate fucking Ebola and all that shit i've been
telling you people in the beginning i knew this was gonna happen that's it that's it we're done
and how long does it take from fucking uh if you walk the fucking Ebola to california still
be in two weeks if you walk it if you gave Liberia boy a fucking backpack and some roller
skates he'd be in two fucking weeks i'm sick i'm sick from my stomach that's quite an image
just a black deer from Liberia just rollerskating we got a coffin forming at the fucking mouth
that's what i need betty page triple x you sexy motherfucker what's up beautiful
you know it are you welcome to the church of what's happened now lisa yats here hi betting
it was very nice hey how's it going this is lee the uh the producer of the show
wait nice to meet you nice to meet you it's i've heard a lot about you so a couple weeks ago
the the main man the fearless lee the dentist hoff was on the show
hey i gotta love big daddy we gotta love big daddy and he told us about some of his girls and you
were one of the sexy ones he spoke about and next you know we became friends on twitter and here
you are and we got some questions for you absolutely yay so how is it working up at the ranch
oh it's freaking awesome every day is like a party um you get to meet some really interesting
people it's just everything is going 24 seven but they've got some places over there too where if
you want to quiet and relax they've got some sweets over there and hot tubs and jacuzzi is in
the pool i mean it's like disneyland for adults it's really cool well they're gonna be shutting
those jacuzzi's down because abola has fucking landed and we don't know those pretty girls
foaming at the mouth looking like fucking walking dead uh how long have you worked up there beautiful
was that how long have you worked up there i actually i haven't worked up there for too long
i've only worked up there since about june and then i blew up i was the bunny of the month in august
oh my god and i know it was crazy now when there's the show does the show still shoot or no
um which one because we do a use stream show every week that thing is awesome i mean i just
hosted um um let me see i was like doing the computer stuff because we do chat and everything
and riffraff was over there too not too long ago that's katie perry's boyfriend and got pictures
of that too that was a blast riffraff is that his name katie perry's boyfriend yeah that's a name
who's riffraff who's this freaking crazy is how he's got like pink hair and he's like crazy blue
eyes it looks like he's dead it's crazy is wrong with katie perry katie perry you know she don't
suck dick you know you know she don't take it any ass you know she don't do none of that shit
and she keeps teaming up with these fucking savages want to fuck her to death while she's
singing and uh then she gets pissed off when they want to come in her fucking eyeball she's like
you know what i'm saying you can tell it's like jennifer aniston you can tell she won't grab a
cock it's like jennifer grab that fucking dragon cock sucker the same friends bitch breathe on
that fucking yeah fun for the whole family no one the fucking brad pit left you for that dirty
bitch you wouldn't let him pop it up he she wouldn't let him fucking stick a finger up her ass he said
fuck it this uh what's an angelina joe lee she'll let you light her pussy on fire and turn it off
with a rock just throw rocks at that's how that's how good her pussy is you could just throw rocks
at her fucking pussy and turn off the fire she don't give a fuck jack now when do you go back to
the bunny ranch see if it jingles now when do you go back to the bunny ranch um i was actually i
may be going back for Thanksgiving just to say hi and everything but definitely i'm going back the
whole month of february and the whole month of march because i'm tearing the club up so when
when does your tour of duty start in february you go back to vietnam for the monkey that's
like that's like vietnam for the pussy fucking the bunny ranch you go up there you get shot
fucked kicked it's tremendous fucking big daddy i love it as long as i get beat with a stick i'm
happy i love it we got two sticks right over here fucking lee's got uh some typo sticks he got some
fine fucking aging now when did you get started in the uh entertainment business let's say
well let's see there was a while back i was dancing in west virginia because i live in
virginia but i was dancing over in west virginia and funny enough i was watching one of the cat house
series and there was this girl just popping balloons with her ass and i was sitting back i was like
i could do that i could pop a balloon with my ass so i went online and i applied just like everybody
else i put my pictures in i'm like i'm not gonna hear back from them they don't want me next thing
you know sure enough they're like we think you're beautiful we think you did great here and i was
like no shit oh my god so i was like you know what suck it you only live once popped on a plane
went over tried it out and i was like wow it was freaking believable it was like a dream come true
so the first time you went over and tried it out how many days did you stay there for
oh two weeks because you got to stay at least two weeks so i actually know that's a lie i
see a mom did you cry at all the first night like summer camp what the fuck is this shit
i only cried when i didn't have enough dick that was it beautiful that's why i fucking love you
you filthy animal now okay so so you stayed there for a month and that was the first time
you had been on that side of the fence or you had played on that side of the fence before
well i started actually at um another ranch over by vegas okay and that place was like pussy
prison that was a lockdown house you could not do anything over there and no fun at all no fun
so i tried to go over there a little bit and i never did anything illegally before but i had a
lot of freaking boyfriends if you know what i mean right so you said what the fuck yeah exactly i was
like i might as well get paid for my shit you know it's amazing uh betty when i was 21 i used to live
in aspen colorado and i used to walk around and i you know and i have nothing against women i i love
women to do whatever they want with their bodies it's their world you know and i always said i go
if i was pretty girl at 21 i would come to aspen i would charge fucking paper to fuck me i take care
of my pussy take care of my titties i keep my teeth white you know the whole fucking deal and i
fuck up the ass whatever you want for four years and when i turn and then i'd be i go in the
witness relocation plan after that i go in the pussy i change my name and i'd move somewhere with
my fucking uh half a million or my three quarters of a million and i would start my life and nobody
would know nobody would ever know like if you were i love that people know me i'm like yeah i'm such
and such and i also go by betty's page my family knows what i do they support me they're proud of
no no no i'm no no i don't mean it like that i'm mean like just uh if you just want to forget
when you're 25 when you have money and you go you know what it's something i did a long time ago
it worked for me then now i work in an office whatever i'm a mom now i'm a pta girl nobody
needs to know that you uh rocked the house for three years and made them what because in the
long run what are you gonna do what the fuck do you do from 21 to 26 if you're hot you get fucked
you get dinners thrown down your throat and on top of all that these fucking morons are still
gonna cheat on you you follow me i want it down my throat yeah you know they're still gonna
fucking cheat or whatever you know what fuck a boyfriend fuck or that get a guy you see him once
a month again he doesn't even have to know what the fuck you do you tell him you're a scientist
in a fucking uh in a martian resort in vegas where the martians landed you check rocks all day yeah
they don't need to fucking know you chat house now when you go home after the bunny ranch do
you still entertain or are you do you give that monkey a breather um actually i've got a really
high sex drive so i'm always seen in for it i got all kinds of like lilo toys and everything
and a sybian and all kinds of what's a sybian i'm even going back to clubs the sybian what's that
oh my god poppy i gotta educate your ass yeah i don't know about this shit what's a sybian
see that's why you gotta come see me what's a sybian it looks like almost like a horse saddle
and that whole freaking horse saddle just vibrates like you wouldn't believe and it has
attachments to it and a remote control i mean it's like it's this freaking shit it's awesome
and you stick it in guys assholes well i could do that too usually i ride it and then i'll
fix something up the guy or i could even just do a little finger just lick it a little bit
because i've got this huge oral fixation okay okay this is what i am known for i love oral
because when i please a guy i take my time it's like going to dinner and having dessert
you spread the guy open you kiss all around everywhere and there is not just a dick in a
shaft oh i'm sorry can i can i say that you can say whatever the fuck you want to say this is this
is FCC yay we're best friends with the FCC the FCC loves us okay well basically what i like to do
i like to spread them open and i like to lick from the sides getting my way inside then i'll
kind of like nibble and just right there on the ball sack a little bit lift them up and i love that
little grundle part right between the asshole and the balls because that's where the prostate is
and that shit that'll get them going every time you just comb your ass off and lick right there
then you suck on some balls just a little bit work your way up then you start with the tip and
work your way down it is a whole chore before and that's what i love about this is that's why i get
paid the big bucks because i don't just want to get you off and get you out you're my meal i'm going
to eat you alive that's a good way of looking at i mean that's a positive way of looking i love you
for that that's uh you know because then again you have a lot of women that don't want to please
you just want to fucking go on with their life then you meet a woman like you or you i'm talking to
a woman like you and this is what you do you get paid to fucking make a man see fucking fireworks
that's good between exactly i will pamper you bathe you wash you lube you and then wash you again
definitely it's all about the experience that's uh that's a nice fucking time you sound like a very
very very very nice time you watch me we fuck we eat some ass then we relax we watch a little
episode dancing with the stars and then we go right back to eating that ass again and licking
balls and fireworks lee what questions you got from my beautiful girl betty page i just can't
him what do you do you make the guys at least wash themselves before you look at our asshole
because i can't i know what my asshole smells like and i don't want anyone sure she makes them
wash themselves a nice bath didn't you just see she she does it to make sure because she's gonna
bowl i do both i send them into the shower i let them wash up and everything so that they get
comfortable then i lay them down on the bed and then i'll double wash them and that kind of gets
the move going to you know it's just like wampan like you're spreading jelly and you know peanut
butter and shit you actually kind of do like the peter pan before and afterward do you have like
industrial soap because there's not enough irish spring to ever make this i can never imagine a
girl doing that to me well go up to the bunny well you don't have to imagine betty page will make
it happen for you betty page i gotta ask you some more questions here what's the craziest thing a
customer has asked you to do if you're allowed to talk about this if not i understand i don't want no
problems with mr hoff oh hell yeah i never um i've never seen names but i will definitely talk
about my adventures because they're fun what's the craziest thing a guy has come in and made you do
like a guy came in and said let's i'm gonna throw 10 000 on you i want you to fucking shoot your pussy
at me and knock me down i don't know uh let me see i think the craziest so far i don't get too
too crazy just yet but then again i like crazy so some stuff that people will do you know normal
people think is crazy i'm like hell yeah let's try it let's do it but i think one of the craziest
ones so far is um i haven't been asked to do a poop party but i have had a guy want me to pee on him
that's not bad i put him in your bathtub and i did it and did he go did he come did he get off
oh yeah oh yeah when they peed on me i didn't get off i had never been peed on before so it opened
my fucking eyes in more ways than one i mean that pee fucking tremendous it tasted good it wasn't
that bad you know uh i didn't come but i always thought about it i'm like man that's a good way
to maybe while she's peeing on you you get somebody to put a feather up your asshole and you work
off with your left hand jesus does shit like that you know i'm saying that's a jesus that's a jesus
yep oh another one too i had two there was this guy that came and um he basically wanted me to be
his mistress so i did and he did a little bit of foot worship while i degraded him i walked him
around the parlor and everything and um basically just made him call me mister betty the whole time
and had a really great time and he got off that way he really had a good time now how long do you
stay with the men usually when they come up to the ranch what's the minimum time they could spend with
you the minimum time they can spend with me is uh probably 10 minutes and it's not going to be a
very fulfilling 10 minutes i'll tell you that but that is the minimal i try to help out every budget
that i can because i enjoy what i do so i want people to come and not do anything and just leave
that's not fun so you gotta do a little bit of something what do you because you must be you're
obviously a proponent of all this what do you say to a guy like me or like to my girlfriend like
what would you like how do you sell it because if i went and told a girl that i did this a lot of
them would probably have negative reactions like how do you look at it how do you how do you
how do you do it so it's not a negative experience oh well that's easy basically when you come and
you see me or even any girl at the ranch um you're actually getting educated you're not just
seeing a professional which you know that you'll be clean you know that um is not going to follow
you home or do anything crazy or try to stop you or you know anything like that but also
you're getting somebody that's going to educate you on what works what doesn't work and you can
bring that to another girl i've actually had gentlemen that you know either they were virgins
or they weren't that experienced and they wanted to please another lady and they were insecure
and you can't just watch corn and get educated on it so they basically come to me and say will
you be my teacher and even if they don't say that just from the stuff that we do we're going to have
fun and you're going to see that i like it because i don't say anything i'm going to get off if this
is my job and i'm going to be with you and you've got to be with me we're both having some fun
but why do you think that is though like is this other countries that have totally legalized it
and it's not looked down upon why do you think that that it's only legal in one part of one state
now and it's it's in most people it's probably it's probably looked down upon
um well basically it's only legal in that state and only in a couple counties because it's grandfathered
in um you know as i don't know i think that we just have a hard time really changing if you look at
it 70s was the era of free love finally but all the way before that we've had decades and centuries
of just being complete prudes and saying that sex was wrong and even after the 70s we kind of went
back to the whole just family unit and everything is very quiet inside the bedroom now again nowadays
we're just starting to get out again and really explore effectuality and say hey it's not wrong
for me to feel good and you're feeling good and everybody is so pathetic it's a natural human
condition we all need to touch we all need to feel love and feel luck back and you know we all go to
masseuses we all get our hair done nails done we go to the barber and all that kind of good stuff
even go to the gym this is exercise massage and the spa all in one it's healthy i've never
when a girl has told me that that's what she does for a living in the back of my mind i've never
looked down i don't know i've looked at it as a more of a liberated woman you know i mean parts of
it a little bit more liberating well i think the reason people look down upon it is itself
freedom yeah well it's like i don't i look at it as when you look at a listen a woman may have kids
she might have had a child and and she doesn't get along with the husband and whatever she has to do
to feed that child if she's beautiful whether whatever is beauty whatever is beauty to a man
they're all beautiful what what the fuck what the fuck i've never looked down like that you know
yeah you meet some dances and fucking crazy but i gotta tell you something from my uh conversations
with you betty and you're very intelligent you're very intelligent you know what's going on you're
on the ball you're sharp you know you're just not doing this because uh you're not doing this because
you know you want to be cool and you know you do this for a fucking living this is a business for
you and you're the best at what the fuck you do you know if you just want some chick to suck your
dick or whatever and then you get out of a hotel room that's one thing going to you is like going
to spark steakhouse it's like going fucking Ruth chris it's like going to you know i don't know all
the five-star restaurants but it's like going it's like driving a fucking maserati you know i
understand what you're saying i love it yeah you know and it's the truth we've all been with women
that are kind of reclusive and we try to push them a little bit and they crack and then you bring
women home that'll you know hit their pussies with a fucking hammer if you let them you know and and
you think of who you've had a better time with every fucking man that i'm listening to this right
now who'd you have better time the chick that does her toenails and lays there like a fucking mummy
because she doesn't want you to think wrong of her or the chick that turns around and says after
you fuck me in the pussy i want you to stick it in my ass like a fucking you know i don't even
know like you're stuffing me for tense giving and then i want you to pull it out and give me
some of that you who milk in my mouth or something well it's the worst i mean betty said at the
beginning she's very oral i can't tell you i wanted a girl the first time we were gonna have sex
just look at me and say don't go down there because i don't i don't do it oh my god god no no no no
oh oh that is terrible i really feel bad for girls that say that it's like oh my god girl
just open it up close your eyes and let him have fun no it's true it's true if you look at
as a man who have you had most fun with the chicks that are fucking crazy yeah you can't
marry those bitches you know that's somewhere that's somewhere gonna affect you but you look at that
you want somebody in the middle of that to have a relationship with when i see betty i go to betty
to get me fucking lubed up you know you go see betty watch someone even if you sling dick for
three weeks you go see betty to put your right back in shape betty's like a sexual chiropractor
she snaps those bones she aligns your cock your nuts align with your dick you know betty
does the whole fucking thing so i get it betty i fucking get it you know well actually i've been
with straight men i've been with gay men i've been with couples even gay men love me i mean i
thought the gay man so hard and he was happy he actually came back for more i had couples come with
me for their anniversary and they had the time of their lives and it was great because we got to do
all kinds of stuff it's not just about the guys it's about the girls and it's great when they come
in with the couples because i can show the guys other things that they haven't been doing to the
chicks and when the girl gets off and we're all having fun it's like the guy can have as many
orgasms as he wants he can like have multiple orgasms and everything because the chicks are
just going to add it it's a lot of fun that's really uh that's fucking crazy the fact came in
you changed his fucking life can you imagine like yeah he was a doctor did you lick his nutsack too
oh yeah cool and did he say to you that you're better than a guy or that guy's a better that's
fucking hysterical if he said you know what betty you're pretty good but i know this guy named
mike that sucks a dick he was impressed fucking hysterical now let me ask you this so once you
go back and march in february and you said now the girls work there year round or that you're
forced to take a break um it basically depends because working over there is sort of like going
to a sorority house when you go there you always have to like change out rooms and stuff and it
depends what's available um because they've got so many girls there i mean it's really it's really
exclusive to be a bunny babe so to be a bunny babe is like the top notch of the whole world
but they do have like a lot of girls on call and everybody wants to be there and they do try to
give new girls an opportunity so it really depends on if they have availability if you know their
schedule is open if you do really good like you know i've got a really good clientele
and they're gonna let you come in but it really depends on what's available and what's open but
as far as going over there i mean you've got girls that'll stay there for a few months at a time
some that'll stay for like a week or two it really depends
it's uh it's an amazing thing when he came down and explained it to us and i've watched the shows
it was very uh very entertaining and very eye-opening because i you know i know about drugs i know
about mugging people i know about crime i know about so many things and i don't know anything
about that sex world when uh you know i thought i knew about everything we all think we know about
everything when i was 31 i started dating this girl and one day after about three months she
pulls me aside she goes i don't know if you know this when i was in college i had sugar daddy
and i told i looked at her face and i go you know what i ate a couple sugar daddies all the time
and she's like what are you talking about i didn't know what a sugar daddy was and she told me that
he put it through school and he fucked it once a week and he used to pay all her bills and everything
and i was blown away like i had never heard of those things like here i was like again i thought i
knew a little bit about everything and she was telling me all this stuff and i talked to her
today as a matter of fact uh she's 46 and she's still stripping and she's a millionaire and she's
a millionaire because she married this old hindu and he died and left her like three million
then she bought a bunch of gyms those curves and she sold them on the way on the high end so she
made money there because she buys all this fucking property yeah but it's uh it's weird like you know
she kept you know she till today now she tells me the truth i mean she's engaged to be married
and she gives blowjobs for 100 and she fucked you for 200 at the strip club
this is a girl that's a fucking millionaire cool that's really low it's it's i mean i don't know
anything about that no shit no shit no this is well this is what i'm saying to you that you
could either go get let her suck your dick or you could take a train to the plane and go see my girl
billy page up at the bunny ranch bunny of the month and she'll show you what it's all about let me
ask you this when you were 20 did you ever think you'd be doing this when i was what 20 uh no i
really didn't i never said you know well when i was younger actually i always wanted to be three
things i wanted to be a playboy bunny and i didn't know why because i was too young at the time i was
about eight and i wanted to be a playboy bunny only because people thought they were pretty i wanted
to be a navy seal because we got to swim around with the shark's naked and then i wanted to be
wonder woman because she's hot as hell and she can kick ass so basically it's kind of like
pre-ordained or destined that i have to be a bunny i never actually thought that i would do
anything like this but i've always been a little nuts and it's like let's go have a good time and
when all these other girls are starting to be pre-ordained like no no we can't do this we can't
do that i'm like fuck you i'm going over here whoa let's get this party started now when has
there ever been a chick that goes up like were you at the bunny ranch did you see a girl like on her
first day you know she's like the hot girl at the strip club in kansas city and she goes up there
and all of a sudden they throw they throw like a fucking black dude with a 30 inch dick just a house
warmer so she just to see if she breaks under pressure like the shape she comes out of there
fucking running you know or she comes out with a big smile on the face that's what i would do
before she could do anything i gotta she's gotta fuck my goomba that black the black dude from
Liberia with the Ebola and if she rocks this fucking if she rocks this fucking world if she
doesn't no have you ever been up there when the girls come out of room crying and says she's can't
do this have you ever had that experience no no basically they're really mommy mommy is madam
susette she is awesome she is really good about screening the girls she basically talks to them
the reason i call her mommy is because she's not just the madam she really looks out for her girls
and if she doesn't think you have what it takes she's not gonna let you stay there or anything
because it's a business and you know you want to please the clients as well as make money yourself
and get pleased and if you're too scared or anything like that and you don't have a hunger for it
there's no reason to be there but usually whenever the first girls get there we're all pretty nice
and usually you you always get a big sister and a big sister is really hot in itself because
the big sister will help you along the way by teaching you the rules teaching you how to negotiate
going into the room with the customer your first few times making sure you got it down and maybe
even partying with you just to make sure that you're doing everything that you should be doing
wow so they'll come in the room with your first couple times uh-huh that's pretty fucking so that's
how you get on the job training or were you that good when you already went to you were good already
when you went to the bunny ranch they just fucking made your shit tight your fingers that manicured
now the whole fucking deal you don't have no more hangnails it's over nope no they really did make
my shit tight too because there are some other things I learned from some of the other girls
here and there that make hot each other and there's a little move that I know how to make it really
tight and there's two things you can do you can either make it so tight where the dick is actually
going inside you more or you can make it tight where you're pushing him out that is hot so you
can have like the whole section of either going inside more or outside it's awesome that's amazing
you are a true professional let me ask you this has there ever been a guy that came in that you
really haven't liked and you've had a sleep with him for the money and you but you really not not
that you're attracted to him but you just don't like him has there ever been that situation like
he's rude or he's no really and I'll tell you why I'll tell you why because there have been um a
couple of guys that uh very few very few that come in there and they're rude or they're just not nice
or there's even no chemistry and I'm I'm really serious about what I do so if I don't like you
I'm not going to fuck you I don't care how much money you have you can stick it up your asshole
and walk the fuck out because I mean it's all about having a good time and I want to make sure
that everybody that comes to me has the best experience in their life so if I can't give you
a good time I'll either send you to a friend of mine that can or I'll just tell you look there's
no chemistry we're not going to get along and it's not worth you spending your money I would go to
some girl at a bar or just a hole in a tree and pound it out because I want to make sure that
you're going to have the best time ever with me and if we don't mention you don't have a good time
I'm not going to take your money because I don't want to take advantage of you and if you're an asshole
I'm definitely not going to have a good time with you I might beat the shit out of you
but we're not going to have a good time that's a fucking honest as it gets you know I mean
what you do is very rough uh not rough and you know it's whatever you make it in this life
I mean I know people who dig fucking I know people who dig ditches for a living that tell you to
have a great job you know they look at the beauty of it I get in shape I could eat what I want you
know I'm 50 I don't got it digs ditches he has a the fucking thing and then he has to get in there
for a foot and clean out with a shovel you know it's not just and it's and he makes it sound he's
been doing it since high school they give him 50 grand a year because they usually had two guys
and he does everything by himself and you know he's my age digging and building up rocks and
so it's whatever you make of your job you know if you don't like your job obviously you're not
going to be effective at it or what not yeah that's exactly it so you won't be up there for
December or November or nothing for the holidays give away that holiday pussy nothing no no I might
be up there for like uh Thanksgiving week but I'm not sure yet I still gotta see what my schedule is
but I know I'm definitely gonna be there all of February and all of March because February is my
birthday too February what 22nd oh shit the same as junior serving I think or the 23rd something like
that I'm the 19th nice I'm the 19th you night that's right I'm the first fucking day of the cuss
Betty Paige I love you we're gonna try to get you in studio here in November or December we'll
figure something out before you go before you go up to the ranch and break some fucking hearts
you have a guy come in ever with a little little little dick what do you do then like a one inch
dick what do you do like you tell him it's fucking you you cocksucker don't ever come in here with
this big dick again I'm fucking home the shit out of that date that's what I do some little Japanese
comes in one of those little peanut dicks you rock that motherfucker chunking chunking these
cousins the shit comes in I eat a tic tac like you wouldn't believe Betty Paige I love you thank
you very much and we'll talk during the week you sexy motherfucker all right and how do they find
you how do they find I know your web page right what's about my web page is Betty page dot com
or even my email email me because I love talking to people it's Betty page at funny ranch dot com
and my Twitter I'm on the Twitter all the time it's Betty page triple X and I'm even on Facebook
Betty page with two X's go to her Twitter she got some nice big fucking jugs her feet everything
she's a sexy motherfucker I love you Betty page you dirty bitch I love you I love you stop stay black
always right now how you like that Lisa at least I had when she was saying licking balls your face
was fucking pale all the balls I like the ass all the blood in your body went right to your
fucking dick don't lie to me your dick is hard as fuck right now oh god I seen your little hand
doing corner copies I kind of wish I went when I was out because I was single for like two years
I kind of wish I had done that to just get the experience I still think I'd be so fucking
embarrassed oh yeah of course that I mean I haven't even been so fucking embarrassed when I was on
that testosterone last year I walked around so fucking horny and I would go to that massage parlor
down the block from the haha yeah and parked down the block just to see just to see if I could do it
maybe if a girl pops out I could see her and talk to her I didn't have the heart
I didn't have to cheat on my wife and have the heart to go in and get a fucking hand job
I just can't I just think it's so fucking embarrassing sometimes you know yeah I can't
I come real quick and shit I gotta look at you and sit there and fucking I go to that bunny ranch
I come in a minute they're all gonna look at me they're gonna tell each other everybody knows
I'm gonna fucking preemie let me give some shout out to these well you just told the
listeners but they're listeners it's not I'm not fucking them you know what I'm saying
Zach Corona happy birthday you bad motherfucker Flo who loves you
Matt Floyd Russell McDonald Kayla Simmons you bad bitch Brandy Lynn I love you Ronnie Olson
Dan Pazzini and my main man Jimmy Pitts death squad all over the country death squad Charlotte
death squad Ottawa stay strong motherfuckers you know what the deal is now what bitch
now it's not like about girls tell me girls everything ones that always say I love doing this
I get to meet interesting people listen I'm 51 fucking years old and I still haven't
met nobody fucking interesting you're the most interesting fucking person I know because you're
Jewish hey so the Jews are still shooting missiles and no I honestly don't I don't uh I don't
have issues but I don't think they're I think they're a missile once a month to let them know
who the captain Kirk of the enterprises you should you got to do that sometime
I don't know I don't hear no more we can hear something different I think it's calm down now
we don't hear about the Russians shooting down planes no more the Russians hate Malaysians
you know they shot two of those fucking planes down at least the first one that disappeared
the guy went to sleep they were looking at the terrorism the fucking Russians shot that motherfucker
down they radiate that bitch they never even found the fucking tire not a piece of luggage nothing
yeah you think they find something nothing who gots nothing so next Wednesday we're at the fucking
ice uh lighthouse next Wednesday we're at the long beach laugh factory and we're trying to put a
podcast together with a show we're going down to Maronite to uh look at the things for cameras
they have like a screen that pops down this would be like a new age type podcast we'll do down there
yeah that'd be cool so let's go take a look tomorrow night so that's that's it's pretty I've
been thinking about that all day how we can make that live podcast really fucking kicking down there
Matt Fultron's coming down really yeah Matt Fultron's coming Tom Segura might show up I got
fucking Duncan Trussell if he gets back I think he gets back before the eighth he's on tour right
now doing podcast tour really with some guy yeah I think he's in Portland Oregon or something
wow he's really making it happen Duncan all these guys I spoke to Ari Ari's in London
chip chip chile hoeing over there eating fucking fish and chips you called him yeah I called him
yeah your phone bill is gonna be fucking here it's a fuck that's brother it's my brother what
am I gonna do it's a fuck I'm unlimited it's spread they call fucking Malaysia okay I could call
fucking african tell those librarians to don't go nowhere it sucks suck my dick suck my dick you
got a flu but it's it's pretty cool talking uh for people who don't know we just we just hit 10
million downloads uh on just iTunes and this is all because of you guys so it's pretty easy you
know we you know we like doing these ourselves because we can tell you what's going on in our
mind sometimes so we're our own fucking guests tonight for you people that are at home smoking dope
having a good time you know jumping up and fucking down this might be the first podcast
that they masturbated to Betty Paige I know it was a good one Betty Paige don't fucking hey she
showed up at the show she's very pretty she didn't act like a fucking jerk off you know most girls
in that position she's a beautiful girl with gigantic tits a great body and they flaunt it she
hit it you know uh people were checking around she's a pretty girl and I just thought it'd be
interesting for you guys to get that perspective you know I would usually have her in the morning
but fuck who cares it's Wednesday night motherfuckers get your shit together and shit she doesn't
wake up early she's she has to recover from the last night she sounds like she has fun every night
and talking about pain it's crazy because my wife and I were watching bubble guppies tonight
with the baby I had ice on my knee great episode fucking tremendous uh I don't know which one it
was something about they opened up a pizza joint and shit the baby was scared then we watched the
Halloween one but I was talking about how I gotta go to you know I was telling I told it today about
the pain when I went to Jersey I didn't realize I'm 51 I realize now that whenever I go back
to I feel that pain again it's gonna be also weird when I go back to Denver next week oh wow yeah how
long has it been well you go every year seriously it's been 19 years seriously it's really been 19
years because when I go to Denver now I go very controlled yeah I go I stay in Denver I really
haven't seen Boulder it's gotta be 13 years are you going back to Boulder yeah I'm gonna go to
Boulder on Friday morning Friday afternoon and see some friends and shit and then come back for
the show Friday night I'm gonna go to look at the places where I kidnap so I'll tape all this for
you people we'll make a special mad flavor as well just to uh you know just to show you the memory
with the fucking story so you guys know where it's at so that's going to be very interesting it's
snowing up there again or no no but it could it could the second week of October fuck yeah in fact
I'm very surprised I didn't get a big snowstorm in September or did they I don't know I've been
so busy I haven't even touched base to see what's going on with the weather they usually get one
huge snowstorm in September like the day before is 90 yeah and the day after the snowstorm is like
65 but that foot snowstorm is just to let you know they like the Jews just to let you know Mother
Nature hasn't forgotten about you motherfuckers down below so what what are you in Denver
I leave next Wednesday night after the show I'm going right from Long Beach on a red
eye they have a late night red eye so I'm going to take it over there and just do Thursday Friday
and Saturday at the improv oh great you know I don't even know I think it's on West Colfax or
East Colfax one of those fucking streets everyone has the internet now yeah but it's funny how uh
I started really on East Colfax a bad fucking street or it was 20 years ago now with development
I don't know what it's like I've heard people I've asked people and they said it's still pretty
fucking bad down there but I love Denver I love that whole I can't wait to eat some green chili
I'm gonna put green chili on everything I'm gonna do some working out in Denver I really
had some people that reached out one guy's and helped me with my needs shit so you know
listen man I'm looking forward to traveling yeah I also like seeing the people from Twitter
oh it's amazing you know it's just uh it's a great time you know this week I like this is my last
week home for like seven weeks wow I know you don't care but are you gonna go and try uh legal weed
I don't give a fuck yeah I know that you know I don't give a fuck illegal illegal illegal
you know me dog I'm gonna smoke it no matter what when I go to one of the stores I'll probably
go to one of the stores I'll probably reach out hopefully Chiba Choo I'm gonna hit them up tomorrow
to do Chiba Choo Thursday okay next Thursday at the at the comedy at the improv maybe we'll all
get high and do some Chiba Choo's maybe I'll have them come down and give away some Chiba Choo's and
we'll get fucked up I'm not gonna eat an edible for a while now really yeah I'm pretty good for a
while because I just went through a bag of gummies a bag of peanut butter brittles and
fucking six weeks and doing uh so kind with you here and getting fucked up is that a good enough
reason no you're slow and especially after the other night you got too fucked up oh you kept
saying oh we bumped at the haha I like always like I was leaning on the parking meter for
you ate 22 jujubes that night no I had one I had one red one I saw you go into the fucking
no I didn't oh but no that was uh that was a crazy night but I can't I'm almost a little bit
disappointed in you why because you're the you walk around on four addables every day and now
you're gonna take a break I'm gonna take a little breather you gotta take a little breather from time
to time I took a breather from reefer five six months how come I don't get to say I went into
breather time did you take a breather tonight well tonight but it's because you decided I didn't
decide you could eat an edible if you wanted to you didn't say you want one I got one in my bag
for you want to eat it now no all right then cocksucker then why are you breaking my chops
it's my job it's not your fucking job it's amazing uh this fucking kid breaking my balls because
I didn't give him a fucking edible can you believe this he's like give it to me last night I gave
him an edible at 730 he looked at it for 10 minutes told me oh oh oh well you give me half the
donut bite it and he would hide it over there I guarantee there's still a fucking piece of
edible over there it's gone there's not there's nothing no it's uh trust me I can't imagine
the amount that you that you go through but it's I'm just surprised you're taking a break
no I went to hacky punches you clean my dreamals she cut me and stuff so she goes you've been
eating a lot of shit lately I go how do you know she goes I could smell it so I said fucking
I'm done that's when you know you had too much I'll know tomorrow if I'm going to dodge a game
the first world's uh first playoff game Friday night with your uncle yeah my uncle said he'd go
he said fuck the bar I'll close it because my my cousin's going to my Vegas to celebrate his
birthday so he didn't really have somebody he goes fuck I'll just show up at 11 so I'll know
tomorrow if I get the tickets they're expensive but it's my uncle you know I'm gonna have a good
time with him on Friday I mean I you know I something happened to me last week when I went
to that baseball game what's that just it brought back something that I had missed for a long time
I like baseball yeah I like watching it I don't like jumping up and down and saying score and you
suck umpire I don't like that shit I just like sitting and watching it just the way some people
go fishing people say sometimes people go fishing and they put their thing in and it's very therapeutic
for them a very uh what's the word I'm looking for you know like they're relaxing you know relaxing
yeah I did I I left there I thought I was gonna be stressed out and I had such a great time
listening to my uncle tell me why black people can't hit the curve I was fucking dying you know but
he's he's got that baseball logic like you know most people in Denver like that night it was a great
game people leaving the 7108 it was fucking embarrassing yeah how many people were just getting
up Gentiles just to go to the game to tell people they went to the fucking game they weren't even
there to be involved to cheer they didn't care about the dodges and they wear the hats and the
fucking t-shirts and they get up and leave with the 17 my uncle was looking at them I thought he was
gonna get up and shoot them because he's like these fucking jerks this is when the game gets good
you know and I'm one of those guys I'm not gonna lie to you for a long time I went to baseball
games and left because of no interest after last week I sat in I'm like man how many fucking baseball
games did I go to as a child sitting next to him reminding me of sitting next to my mother at
those baseball games he was a lot more quieter I mean he was 90 percent more fucking quieter than
my mother would be but it was just to keep score I imagine him keeping no he didn't keep score no
he knew he knows a lot about fucking baseball you know he's 78 so he watches the team I mean he
told me the nationals the team to beat in the national league maybe yeah yeah the national
it's uh it's hard to keep track but I love going to live games on tv there's just so many games
that it's a little bit munch but like last night and tonight there's some good games on because
they're playing to get into the playoffs what's the score the giant uh Pittsburgh game there were
giants were killing the power it's when I came let's find out what happened the giants were five
nothing when I left but let's see I should be over by now uh oh yeah the giants killed them ain't
nothing holy shit yeah so I mean it's uh trust me I love the red socks and stuff but it's uh it's
hard to get into it but I understand what you're saying how you have to because I I know you you
you hate the traffic and and all and the lines and stuff but if I'm assuming you just like we're
like okay I'm gonna be in traffic I might as well enjoy it with my uncle and not worry about it
and it's cool that you had a good time uh it's funny I talked myself out of a lot of things I
know a lot of people do that uh I'm one of them like today I had the jujitsu pants on the knee
pants I taped my knee I taped my wrist I had the t-shirt on I had the bag made and I was talking
myself I like only jujitsu yeah because something's gonna happen the traffic I'm gonna lose my parking
spot it's amazing how your mind puts negative thoughts and that's how I am about everything
before I leave the house I'm I give myself 50 reasons why I should stay home you know who's your
parking spot you don't do this you might you know and it's fucking mind boggling how your mind
works like I'm surprised I don't suffer from depression I know I suffer from a couple issues
but that's one of them that I'm basically always like I thought that that night with Ari was gonna
be painful because the story and comedy central it was fucking easy I went down at 3 30 I was home
by 4 then I went back 10 o'clock with you they picked us up what's so hard about that it's usually
it's usually not as bad as you think I work myself up you know and I know a lot of people do that
then I thought the fucking New York trip oh my god it's the New York trip was easiest part
it was easy it couldn't be any fucking easy you know I was dreading those two weeks
because I hadn't been on the road for so long I was dreading those two weeks and they were beautiful
now I'm looking forward to Denver I'm looking forward to Baltimore I'm looking forward to Miami
then I got a week off you know so that's the uh it's just amazing how I talk myself out of shit
you know I didn't work out Monday because I hurt my knee something I got off the plane I went to
Hawaii and I was doing uh leg ups you have to strengthen the knee okay and Monday my legs
rolled up a little bit you know and I was like I'm not gonna work out and I shouldn't I did I oh I
went for a long walk okay that's why I did I went for a long walk and then I kept battling myself
whether I should work out I'm not working I'm gonna start to give myself reasons then by 11 o'clock
I was pissed because I didn't go to the gym and do the epileptical whatever the fuck it is right
today I went to jiu-jitsu but yesterday when I went to dr. Amy she told me that acupuncture
I'm happy to work out today because your leg was really swollen oh so she cupped it she
needle did she did laser on it she did the electromagnetic field on it which I'm gonna
go buy one at CVS for a hundred bucks so when you have an injury you put the electrode thing on
there okay and you strengthen it and the electricity sends charges into your muscles and into
to put blood into that area so it heals which is what usually happens you're supposed to give
that's why I always say to you when your knee hurts a lot of people go my knee hurts I'm not
gonna wake up do me a favor go put some blood in it and then see how it feels yeah once you put
blood in that fucking knee or elbow or finger or wrist my wrist hurts once I warm it up and I do
wall push-ups and shit it's fine yeah I get you know I'm saying it's amazing you see how much you
work yourself out of doing stuff I had Steve Simone in here today and I was at the gym
I was just sitting in a chair because I was finishing up a phone call before I went in
and I was at the gym in my stuff and I was like I'm not gonna do this I have because I have this
tonight I have to go home and do some a little some of this some of that I was like I'm not gonna
do it and I just did it and it's it's amazing how much time you can waste watching TV and I think
I'm the way I am yeah you know why I think I'm the way I am because I know that when I sit out
in the afternoons and I watch TV sometimes unless I have ice on my knee I feel horrible even if it's
just 10 minutes with the baby yeah I feel terrible about myself because I know in the back of my
mind there's something else positive I could be doing yeah there's something I could be doing I
understand people's concerns with children watching TV I grew up on TV me too I mean that was my baby
said who the fuck you kidding and I loved it I loved it you know I can see my I don't want mercy
to be involved in television but I can see her singing songs now from bubble guppy she says guppy
you know whatever little things she's learning you know my daughter's a fucking cunt hair away
from putting a sentence together sorry about that folks she really is she's a cunt hair away
from being a person you know she goes she'll say die a bubble and then she'll go and then she'll stop
the fucking sentence I don't know what the fuck she's saying she sounds like a little
apocalyptic I just have a conversation with her but the more I talk to her the smarter
she's gonna be the more I talk to her I ask her questions I drill it even if she don't ask me I
don't give a fuck I ask her questions where do you want to go what do you want to eat she don't
know what the fuck I'm talking about maybe she does but one day she's gonna put that whole sentence
together like the mermaid and fucking whatever and then you're gonna be in trouble oh my god
she starts saying fuck you guys ices don't kill black people I'm gonna have problems at daycare
no she's gonna turn off sons of anarchy it's bubble guppies time well oh she throws a fit when
you turn on tv let's give a shout out to some fucking sponsors we could wrap this shit up so
people could go to bed or keep fucking typing at work and I want you wasting time listening to this
shit you could be making money cock sucker on it I can't say enough about on it they have helped
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money compared to what's out there hit e-cigs are the best longer lasting better tasting guarantee
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Chiracha almonds uh the Chiracha cashews to I mean the the new blueberry whole wheat raspberry
everything they have sunflower seeds sunflower corn kernels that were those corn kernels are
fucking delicious yeah that's what that's what they sent me delicious listen why fuck around
you they don't even have you have gluten free they got zero artificial colors sweetness zero
grams transplant and no high fructose corn syrup why fuck around you're gonna hear from me get the
cocoa almonds get the big uh the sweet potato fries get the peanut butter nom nom's or the
fucking chocolate nom nom I'm gonna try those oh shit it's cool because when you sign up they're like
do you like crunchy stuff do you like chewy stuff they go through what you like they go through it
guys go there get the free box sent to your house right now get your free trial go to naturebox.com
slash joey what is it Lee it's joey yeah slash joey naturebox.com slash joey or go to joeyds.net
stay full stay strong don't fuck around these are the best things going to get your free thing go to
naturebox.com slash joey yeah you're welcome bitches and the cool thing is it's totally free they
don't charge you for shipping they don't fuck around so it's it's like honestly you're gonna
need snacks you're fucking stoned right now right now you can have a sriracha fucking
walnut whatever the fuck sriracha cashew stop fucking around right now right now go to naturebox.com
press slash join get a free fucking box ship to your house why are we doing this nail to life.com
these guys are the original my man Dave I love these fucking guys like Lee said every time you
see him they were giving everybody fucking snacks at the Comedy Central thing the cameraman the
mexican sweep and they don't give a fuck they want everybody to be high the best vapor pen on
the market they also have t-shirts there they have a bunch of stuff do me a favor after you get
your free box nature box go to nail their life.com and press what joey yes but honestly go there
first because you're gonna want to have the snacks by the time you get this pen well you think you're
fucking with it do me a favor I don't know if you've seen this chain around my neck especially
living in Hudson County or the New York City area there's gold like when you go to zales and all
that shit you get ripped off and then there's people who take care of you know when I went home
this time I bought a chain little thing for my daughter and this last time this time I bought a
ring for my wife I when I got married to my wife all I had was 40 bucks we got a Walmart ring for
40 bucks and I always wanted to give us something so for our fifth anniversary next month I wanted
to save up money and give her a ring I got a ring I went there and found her a ring I can't even
tell you the price for a one-carat fucking ring that he gave me it was cheaper than fuck his name
is Mike go to Crespo's Jewelers they're in Union City fucking tremendous Mike will take care I spoke
to him today I called him yesterday to thank him because I can't trust nobody out here no I trust
nobody out here you go to zales they charge you triple for what it's fucking work so I went to name
of the jewelry place Crespo's jewelry right on fucking West New York that this is not a sponsorship
dear friends of mine and they have two locations so I told them I would give them some love
they take care of me all the time man and that's what I'm looking for I want them to take care of
you the same way they take care of me if you're in the New York City Hudson County area Crespo's
fucking jewelry that's it that's a cool thing because whenever you watch these travel shows
they're always going to these restaurants and having these amazing adventures and you're like if
I'm going to I go to China I'm not gonna get that the coolest part about the stuff we we have as
partners here is that you can have exactly what we're having it's like it's it's pretty awesome we
don't fuck around here at the church man I'm happy you guys tuned in tonight uh I don't know how to
say this I'm sorry about fucking Monday things happen you know I'm saying things fucking happen
but anyway you guys know I love you to death remember 10 8 october 8th I'm at the Long Beach
last factory october 9th to the 11th I'm at the Denver improv improv and 10 15 to the 18th
to some I'm at the Baltimore I forget the name of the fuck let me look it up can you believe
that shit the toy factory the last factory see you need an edible I'm sorry I just burped into
the microphone all right you are at the uh let me check here you are at the comedy factory in
Baltimore now the 16th and 17 let's just start with fucking the Long Beach last factory in Denver
right let's just get those dates down do me a favor guys I love you guys thank you for listening
thank you very much for the 10 million downloads Liam myself want to thank you for being great
fucking a great network we have here we got a lot of love and you guys know when you come to see me
I love each and every one of you from talking lair with all my fucking heart that the Oscar Nunes
to Leon to Cleo you know there's just so many years to my main man waterbox and his beautiful
wife you guys have given us so much love Constantine rain I mean there's so many fucking people Laura
oh my god the list goes on and on and on Joey Brooklyn thank you thank you I'm not the cleanest
guy in the world I'm not the funniest guy in the world but I love you motherfuckers and I appreciate
you like you wouldn't believe you guys have changed my fucking life because you've made me that much
better so I want to thank you for what you've done to me the last two years Lee you're gonna tell
these cocksuckers anything no it's just it's you're right it's and it's not a lot of people say fans
and you said it's from the beginning I don't want to freaking if you want to be a fan I can't have
your freaking token layers like my best friend in Vegas now he he he he he torments me because he
knows I'm Jewish and he've always posted these pictures of the Samuels 3000 of nearly Samuels
it's hilarious fucking hilarious you know we've been blessed with some great people in our lives
man and I know you hear a lot of shit and fake fucking things if you know anything about me I
really appreciate you guys I really appreciate what you've done for my life and how you've kept me
in check and how you may be a better fucking man you make me right and you make me do good things
for you guys to be healthy because I want you to do the same I became a comedian not because I'm
better than you fucking guys I became a comedian because I was a loser and I had nothing else to
do and there's nothing else I wanted to try and this is where we are now and I want you people
to know you could all do the same thing whatever the fuck you want to do it's not about comedy or
money just be happy and smoke dope and eat somebody's asshole and but the most important thing to
live your life how you want to fucking live it on your terms bitch I love you thank you for watching
the church every week all right guys now that the show is over don't forget go to naturebox.com
and sign up to get your free sampler box free of great tasting healthy snacks that's honestly
it's free they don't even make you pay for shipping so why not try it out forget the vending machine
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that's even more because you know how these companies kill you with the shipping go to
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oh
You can't stop me.
You can't stop me.
You can't stop me.
You can't stop me.
You can't stop me.
You can't stop me.
You can't stop me.
You can't stop me.
You can't stop me.
You can't stop me.
You can't stop me.
You can't stop me.
You can't stop me.
You can't stop me.
You can't stop me.