Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #226 - Joey Diaz, Hugh Fitzgerald and Lee Syatt
Episode Date: October 31, 2014Hugh Fitzgerald, Actor, writer, director and Jiu Jitsu Coach joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkou...t. Nature Box. Visit Naturebox.com and use promo code Joey for a free trial box Naileditlife.com - Get 20% off a vapor pen by mentioning the Church. Meundies.com Go to meundies.com/joey for 20% off. Recorded live on 10/30/2014. Music: Tupac - I'm A Straight Rider Black Sabbath - Snowblind
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This show is sponsored by nature box
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Oh shit fuck eating that subway sandwich or in your living room motherfucker
The lunchtime podcast today switching it up on bitches. I can't let you get comfort and shit
What Wednesday
Thursday October 30th the original devil's night tonight fuck that trick-or-treat
That's a little punky kids tomorrow real gangsters going on Thursday night with eggs and socks full of flowers and guns and fucking slingshots and dead animals
Oh shit
What are you sneaking over there Lee our amazing guest and friend Hugh brought me my
What top 10 favorite fats nannies nutty bars? What's in them?
They're like peanut butter Kit Kat sort of things kind of
You're gonna eat those on the plane aren't you cock sucker?
I'm gonna bring one pack because I actually
My dad thought I was joking with him this morning because I'm bringing gym stuff
I checked the hotel in Vermont has a gym
So I'm bringing gym stuff sure that I can't I can't let this weekend kill me
So when I told him he started laughing it's like no you're not he thought I was joking because I've never done the gym for this
Is the longest I've ever gone to the gym so
But I'm gonna bring I can't turn down these these are I I could kill if I was high I could kill this entire box
Well, aren't you lucky you're not high today. I should God
Granted salvation on your soul after last night after last night. That was fun last night. That was a lot of fun
That was really fun last night. Thank you everybody who came out, but I wish
Well, when you're gonna have to get one of those cars with the Wi-Fi that are coming out now
Because that drive home was possibly the funniest
Time I've ever had with you. I've I've haven't laughed that hard since going down seaside with your buddies when you don't pay for the toll
You just go right through the fucking toll gate and laugh your stone. You don't give a fuck. Oh, yeah
I gotta tell you something guys. I eat some Metables
You know when I giggle last night I was fucked up. I had doubts about driving the fucking I was seen streaks and shit
Yeah, the light were vibrating on stage and I was I was right there my caloric intake
I had like a like maybe 200 calories left for the day
So I drank water at the club and then I got an amaretto milk
Why I don't know and that sugar fucking zot me, but the time I got home. I was good. I made some coffee
I sat I had ice on my knees and all of a sudden I got hungry as a
Motherfucker and I killed the banana some raspberries some tangerines and then that didn't hold me down
I killed all the little pepperonis my wife. I guess was gonna make a pizza. That ain't fucking happening
All the pepperoni
You can't have that every little fucking circle and I broke into the baby's captain pirate booty
Oh my god when you're fucking stone, you know, we grew up on cheese whatever they are and then wise label
Whatever cheese doodles or whatever. Yeah. Oh my god
Cheetos Doritos I cut I was sticking them in my mouth like I was breaking them into my fucking mouth
At the end I had to close the bag seal it and they were all over my face the cats are eating on my feet
You take a full hand and just like shove it towards the mouth and then you get that you get that layer
That's that power booty layer. I had a fucking brush my teeth. I got thirsty
I drink more electrified water, but you know what I slept like I was falling asleep in a chair that I didn't even make it
The Ari's taping. I'm so fucking embarrassed. You know, I heard it went great
I want to congratulate Ari Shafi on his first one hour special tape at the comedy store
Yeah, which is a tremendous feather in your cap and he fucking earned it if anybody didn't earn it
So he's on his way to Hawaii. Nice. Oh, cool gig down there. There's some little Puerto Rican comedy club in Hawaii
So he's on his way down there. So if you're on the island, look out for fucking arisha fee
It's a a plane that's going sideways shit like that's landing the Yamaha. Have you been down there?
It's been 30 years. No, no, but now there's a guy who reached out to John Salami and John Salami gave me the info
And I gave it to my agent. So I'm gonna go down. It's nice. Why not? Yeah, that was fucking crazy last night
Oh, my gosh, and we didn't eat that many edibles. Yeah, I just flowed. It just flowed. We told some great stories
Oh my god, that was a the best was driving home for anyone who doesn't live in California the highway
It's really long and straight
but there's there's
Big stone concrete barriers. I think there's sound barriers for like the neighborhoods and
That's why I didn't drive I took an Uber because that that highway freaks me out
Because like the right lane ends a bunch of times and you were nice and you drove me
But we were just talking and then all of a sudden you like
This wall is falling me. I gotta get away from this wall
I gotta get away from that fucking wall. You can't control you
So I would have hit that fucking wall and once you get close to the 170 the wall creeps up on you people driving close to me
I thought everybody was a cop. I thought everybody was a fucking cop. I did 70
65 I mean I was fucking stone to the gazelle you were you convinced it was this is what it was
It was that mission impossible van. That's right
It was a mission impossible van, but he was convinced it was a cop. He's like, oh, we're getting pulled over
A bunch of fucking cosmopolitan's whatever they are what what are they hanging out with Tom Cruise there?
What's the relationship of Scientology?
I was like, are we getting pulled over you like I think so they pull aside
It's a cargo van permission impossible. I never know fucking Europe. You never know
I can never know your fucking guys. It's like that scene where you're falling all of a sudden the back doors open up
And there's two guys and all blacks in and they're fucking suit shooting at you
What goodness you Fitzgerald studio today one of my brothers from fucking Higgins, LaRue writer
Traditional martial artists one of the few people that you meet anymore that doesn't want to kill you
You know, he wants to just spread the love to martial art
We got him appear to talk to us a little bit about writing and his buddies and why you write and why you so you went to school
I went to circle in the square
No, New York, no shit get them Broadway
With the Rutgers before that
Bouncing around Bergen Bergen Community College
BCC right, that's right. How did you like Rutgers? I had a cousin who went there and he loved it. It was good
You know, they they had an acting program
That was a Meisner based
Style of acting that was good. I'd done a lot of method and gonna leave Strasburg and all these other places, but
buddy of mine said if you
Really want to learn how to act go study with this disciple who's under
Meisner William Esper
So they had a great program. I I didn't last long there, you know, I was like I need to get in the city and
Cut my teeth and kind of figure out life. So
applied to schools and got accepted to circle in the square and
Studied writing that's where I met Dave Mamet
Which which has changed everything
Was your professor there? No, he
In in the program you were required to go and volunteer at a theater
on your second year
So I just basically headed out
Found a Broadway show walked in and said hey, I wanted I want to work for the theater and they said okay
We'll empty the trash cans and go get coffee
And that was that that's how they did it back then and lo and behold. I'm in a small off-off Broadway theater
Walk up the stairs and Dave Mamet standing in the hallway
Went right up to him and I said nice to meet you. I've heard a lot about you. We're doing some of your plays at our school
I'd like to talk to you about directing
And he goes here kid. Here's my address right to me and we'll talk
And you know, everyone's like no, it's David Mamet. No, he's not gonna write you back. I wrote him lived in Vermont
Wrote me back a week later and so whatever I'm in the city. We're gonna meet for coffee and if you
Listen to me not say a word teach you how to direct
That's what happened
That's that's that's why I met Joey essentially for the first two months that we hung out
We didn't do anything. We I met you outside the comedy club and we you joked around and and
Yeah, I mean that's that's I and it's great because I bet a lot of people in your school
And maybe not even specifically your school, but if some if the theater said oh take out the trash and get the coffee
Oh, I'm looking to be assistant stage director and I don't want to do that
I want to help with the actual show right and everyone's looking to get on stage and get a role and fast track
But I just for some something told me that if you can get any opportunity to prove yourself
To just do it. I love being in that environment. I love being on stage. I grew up in the theater, you know, it was sort of a
If I was in that environment or on a set, I didn't care what I was doing
It's the one thing, you know, where they always used to say if you could spend 15 hours a day somewhere
And the time flies and it seems timeless. You're in the right place
I could be on a set for 18 hours
It feels like four hours in the theater for for for six months and it feels like a month and you wish you would never end
So I went in there and I I got coffee emptied the trash cans pen pal with Dave Mammon. I said I want to learn you're the best
He started writing these books. He'd written many but one of them came out was called true and false
On on the theater and acting and it changed my entire perspective on the business the way that I looked at
How to craft a screenplay stage play
long story short he comes to LA to
Direct a couple of movies and I move out to Santa Monica and I said Dave
I want to I want to learn he goes here sitting that chair and
Watch what I do watch her that first 80 does watch her the second 80 does ask questions empty trash cans
Taught me everything I know
everything
and that's I don't know if that's a bygone era, but
It's still an industry with the apprenticeship
Still exists to a certain degree
Where it's based on a handshake and and whether or not a guy likes you not on a resume
You have to go call somebody's agent and you got to meet the agent and you meet the lawyer
And then you hope somebody gives you a break they'll want to see it as a guy show up at six o'clock in the morning
Is he on time?
So you have a good attitude and does does he?
Ask an intelligent question. Sure. Give me a shot
That's how I learned to Adam I went to school for four years and I got the basics
I learned how to do some things but my first job I was like I said last week
I was building furniture and stuff, but any downtime I had I was in the specific editor. I made friends with an editor
Not he's not the David Manman of editing
He's just the one of the head guys there and I'd go in there and sit down
And I'd be quiet for most of the time
But if he did something I'd be like how do you do that and he would show me and it's uh, I
Wouldn't be anywhere without I wouldn't be I wouldn't be here without him
So that's uh
It's really cool that that some people do that for you because I'm sure a lot of directors because I'm just looking at his IMDb
Now he's done everything. Yeah, like it's amazing that he is a prize winner numerous plays
books movies TV show and
The the most generous kind of sky I've ever seen on a set in my entire life from the craft service person to the PA
He knew he knew everyone's name
Please and thank you every night he left the set
He would go and shake everyone's hand and I thought I'm spoiled here because this is not the norm
They're a good
honest
People out there in this industry
I envy you two guys
I envy
The part of the formality of this. I never had the formality of this. I took a three-week
Course on stand up and I went to a comedy club and applied and
They made me the doorman and they made me the sound guy in the bar back
And I watched for 90 days and you know guys like us we got to get in there
I had to get in there. I don't know nothing about books or fucking doing homework or project to shoot the video
and I got in there and I
Ended up out here years later, and I'm the guy going to me. Hey
You're a feature act you don't make any money. I can't make no money off you you're gonna have to go in for auditions
What the fuck are you talking about? I had done one thing performing arts freshman year
I sang shattered. I lip sync shattered in front of the impromptu class. That's it. That's all I knew
I didn't know nothing else and I
Seen on walking around on Fox a lot
And I'm just in heaven because the best days I have is when I got an audition to walk on a lot
Because for a guy like me, I would never be a lot on a lot. I walk on a lot and people say hello
I always go get something to eat in a lot even if I'm not hungry
I go get something on the lot just to prove my motherfucking point
I take the long way at a lot to me being on a lot is heaven. Yeah, because I never dreamed of it
I never never even dawned on man
I never knew what a lot was when I was watching all my favorite TV shows, so I envy you guys
I wish I would have gone to NYU and learn the writing and then became a comedian
On that note, I I I came a long way around to realize
that I I
Don't think it's something that can be taught. I
Think it as an editor you're gonna learn by doing it and cutting cutting cutting cutting
which is
Probably the most important part of filmmaking. That's it. I think it is editing is the whole it's the whole thing
It's the whole thing and edit it
You could shoot a movie and you could think you're getting one thing and a good editor come on turn it into another
You could tell 20 different stories and 20 different edits and it's powerful
But you I don't think it's something that can be taught. I think it's an innate sense
It's an innate sense
I think it was already that was on the show and he was talking about being directed for the show that was coming up
and the guy was directing him into a black hole and he was getting frustrated and
There are times when a good director will leave everyone alone
Find your mark speak up stand up look the other actor in the in the eye and tell the truth
That's quoting from one of Dave's books
Not to over simplify it, but it's true because we over complicate everything people want to
Justify their paycheck and move us around do the lights and fancy all that matters is a punch line
And either you understand how to entertain an audience or you don't you don't or you don't and and and like you've said many times
It took you a long time to figure that out
but it's a guys that come up from the street not necessarily the guys that went to to Yale and and and
You know
NYU and I'm sure they learned something
But what you really learned is when I walked into that theater and I had to watch for months
The director and the stage manager and how do they talk to the actors? How does it director block?
Does the audience like this night over the other night? What are the rewrites how the rewrites can affect the audience?
It's all part of it. I wasn't learning that in school what I learned by by showing up on a set and
Working with grips and gaffers. You I would never have learned at USC or NYU. I would have been demanding my money back
so I think it's something that
once again, you either have you don't and there's a big argument about that but
You're where you are just because you had that moxie and you have that personality and you wanted it
And they say that the guy that wants it is the guy who's gonna get it in the long run
For me, honestly, it's kind of like, you know, you know how like Tim Tebow how they have people who are great in college
But they just can't handle it in the pros
There's a lot of people who I went to school with who were the really
Artistic and had all and had seen all the French movies and and worked on all the independent
Student movies in school, but are still working in a movie theater back home, which is fine
But sometimes I think those people who are like it's like too good in college. They don't have that's right
They can't adapt
Like when we shot that documentary with the first couple times we talked about it
I was going over stuff that I had learned in school, which in theory would have been good
But when I'm working with you, there's no time for any of that. There's no there's no planning. There's no that's right
And that's where the jams come from. Yeah, those gems come from getting out of you out of your thought
How do you over? We overthink everything. We're all we imbue everything with meaning. We over analyze
We do that naturally
But when you get to like what comes from the heart goes to the heart
you know and
That that I think that stands true with anything
So if you believe in something, it's like an instructor
David's a great instructor because our jiu-jitsu coach who
Loves it so much and loves teaching and coaching guys and believes in each and every one of us
I get texts at six o'clock in the morning from yeah, what are you doing today? You're gonna get some exercise
I don't see it the Academy. I hope you get to the gym and go for a swim. Have a great day
Don't don't fight keep your worries
Where they are and you're gonna be you know, I'm going this guy's more invested in all of us
It's a fellowship message from them as a fellowship jiu-jitsu tomorrow bright and early you coming
No, what what schools are teaching that's that you know, that's not going on in many places
No, they'll teach you that and nobody can teach for you because I huge cuz I that's why
Before I would never go to the gym, but if I had a teacher
Texting me like it was like with you and you would always call me tell me to walk if I didn't have that
I probably wouldn't even be at the gym now. You gotta get it's a we live in California
I said last night if they test 50 people in a room of blood tests
40% they're gonna come back
Vitamin D deficient. Yep. That's if you live in Buffalo or Seattle. We live in Los Angeles. Yep
40% that's a big I was the first time I went to doctors. I gotta give you this your vitamin D deficient
And I will change everything no more on the computer all day out get in the computer in the morning
You gotta get out and get that fucking son. That's the best thing for I'm gonna go do kettle bells on the park
I'm gonna go do three rounds of swings a couple rounds of cleans just in the park get that son
Even if it's 20 minutes, it's son
I do Kali I get the sticks and I call it buddies that are that that are about Filipino
Martial artists and we get out there on ocean boulevard. I go how lucky are we to live where we do looking out at the ocean?
I got my buddies there. We're just doing
Drilling sticks for two hours that once again goes by like ten minutes
If you're in a timeless pursuit, you got it Joseph Campbell the mystic and he's profound
Wrote that ideally every day you have something or some kind of practice that you have it's timeless
That's a meditation if at the very least once a week, but it's something you do whether it's
Exercise your jitsu your art your comedy that that gets you out of your head and out of your body and and
Becomes a ritual
And when we're out there doing the sticks, I'm in another place. I go off
Another world. Yeah, you really I'm higher than a kite. I feel like I'm floating home and my
Teacher Dan in the son of says it's wellness you're getting wellness because you're using both sides of your brain and you're doing this
You know and you're it just breaks apart
What we're usually holding on to throughout our day and the traffic and the grind and makes us sick and nuts
Have something that and and you do realize
That's priceless and what it's all about
I've told you about the Academy
It it
The fact that you're doing what you're doing and where you are and like what it did what it did for my brother
And continues to it's a lifesaver
This is a big deal
And it takes courage to step in that. I mean
Most people start and quit. I can't tell you how many people Lee they come in
In droves and I'm looking over and I go out of 20 tools stay
To people is this time of year a really big year for that because of like New York resolutions
Like well like the first week of January be like you can't go to class and then you'll see you'll see a lot
Coming through where they they had a resolution and hey
We've said it before it's it's terrifying on a lot of levels. I'm gonna use Andre once again as an example
Here's a guy who's who's 250 plus pounds and defensive linemen and he's
Could crush me in a second
He's sweating into my face and worse that they're laughing and giggling but for most people that's a terrifying
opposition
You know Andre Carter the old Andre Carter patriot out well hosted he played for the Raiders Raiders
Redskins. Oh, yeah
That guy's humongous. I mean he's humongous
But most people say are you out of your mind
You got to be out of your mind and they come and do it once and they get choked out or tapped out and that their egos
They're a whole nother issue and they're like I can't
They're driving home going what what just happened here?
You know or they run do it and say I need to learn this they go the other way and go I I
Need to now know how to do this. It's power power. I was
First two times I went to jiu-jitsu. I left there not knowing what the fuck. I just been hit with
Like I didn't know what I had just been hit with
Like everything hurt every muscle every toe and I remember going home and going on and then going to the doctor for something
I'm going listen. I'm getting these middle-level guys coming in here twice a week with fucked up shoulders and elbows and jiu-jitsu
If you did something else you could do do something else and I looked them
This is the Raider guy the guy that does my name. I'm like I can't I like this. I
Really enjoy this but for me it goes back to one thing. It really goes back and you said it. I didn't even know this
you know I
Came from Cuba my mom believed in it and she put me in a karate school and I was fine
I got beat up a couple times and it you know went to Miami last week to
To see them old family and I was talking to her and she goes I remember you when I first met you
How quiet you were she goes your life changed when you got hit in the head with that fucking thermos
She goes you weren't quiet anymore. I thought that woke a fucking devil up. What was that story?
Mom made me lunch my you know my mom just give me a couple bucks
And there was a hot dog man on the corner and I would go to the hot dog and they told me you went a lot to leave the property in the first grade
You know, you just want a lot to leave the property. Have a lunchbox and I can't stand having that restriction
Like I just didn't know what I would usually eat my lunch the night before
Like when my mom we're going to a play or something we went to Beatlemania or something like the girl
That was in my first gay grade class her father was one of the guys for Schultz
You know peanuts in Manhattan and we would go to the theater by ourselves a theater by yourself like eight kids
And they would play movies for us, you know, it was fucking
Awesome, you know, it's just amazing as a young kid and stuff like that, you know
But I was fucking nuts like I was quiet at first
But after they hit me with that fucking lunchbox man
Oh, and like Central Park or something right they hit me in Central Park
So you got jumped and they hit you with the I had the lunchbox. I took a lunchbox. I ate out of it and I got along this lunchbox
I'm gonna make believe I lost it. My plan was to tell my mom I lost it
But when I went to Central Park, I was by that little lake three kids came up to me and I give us what's in your lunchbox
In other days, I would have given it to them, but something wasn't right
I was like, I'm not giving you my lunchbox and we started fighting when I hit them with the lunchbox
The thing broke open to keep grab the thermos and hit me in the head with the thermos
Which were made out of glass and I heard that thermos hit me in the glass break
That means you got hit fucking hard because yeah, those thermoses were glass
Well were whatever shadow proof and I remember running home bleeding looking at my hand and my mother when I got home
They wouldn't take me to the hospital until my mother came from Jersey. We had the bar in Union City
So I was sitting there bleeding for like 35 minutes
I was a fucking mess and my mother came and then my mother they stitched me up and my mother hit me in the car
On the way home for playing hooky and for fucking. Where's that fucking lunchbox?
You thought and then she hit me and something after that
I just became a fucking Satan like I wanted to fight all the time
So he threw me in a karate school and that calmed me down
And I stuck with it then I moved to Jersey and I joined Isham Roo karate and all my buddies were I did that
Who kids and and they were all karate kids in Taekwondo kids and more and Perez who I saw this week was a judo kid
Jiu-jitsu was not even on the map then. No, it was karate kung-fu and judo
That's it. If you wanted jiu-jitsu you had to go to fucking
Queens or something and it wasn't even on the map because I used to go to
Aaron Banks's karate competitions every year and menace the square guard again. How big I went to those
Titian, yes, huge. They were huge. It's massive square fucking guard filled and then there was a place called Honda
Martial arts supplies on 40 something Street. We would that was our Saturdays
Yeah, we would save money and that was our Saturday because we would be there for five hours buying
You know fucking Kabudu tan fuzze. I had a fucking
Sticks the Chinese stars
And then you had to buy the stars and get something to sharpen them for you because you would buy the stars
They would be right there. They were dull. Yeah, you take them home and nothing's happening
Yeah, you lose your fucking mind. They had to go to the hardware store new Bruce Lee poster
I go to Chinatown and buy the black and white pictures. Yeah, and then one day man. I started smoking pot
This is great. I
Start smoking a little pot and I went from once every three months to
Every Friday every Friday and Saturday, but I wouldn't smoke with the karate guys. I
Would smoke with the kids from my house when I was at the karate guys. I couldn't even mention drugs
They were looking me and go, what are you talking about? We don't even do drugs
So I quit karate and so this day it was the biggest mistake of my life
I continued to work out and lift weights, but I looked at weights with somebody
When you lift weights with somebody you're talking you're constantly talking. Yeah, that
First half hour like Dave makes you get against a wall when you do constant and you're stretching
That's why I'm even like bringing a phone in there
I don't want to hear a phone ringing in there because that's your hour. That's your wellness
That's your chances to invest in yourself like you're breathing and that breathing
It's like you're putting money in your system something not like it's just it's just like you're living you're alive
And then you leave there and you go back into the worries of the world
That's right
Then you look at your fucking phone or whatever the fuck I still bring my phone to the gym and I got to stop
I always I get nervous
I don't nothing would happen. I if it's if anyone calls
It's probably you my mom and my dad and I could wait but it's just like it
It's gone to the point where like I like if you ever forget your phone at home
And you just go to the store that panic attacks. No, it's it's
My internet went out a few weeks ago for 20 minutes and I was like, I don't what am I gonna do with this on internet?
And so I gotta I gotta start leaving it because I leave my wallet in my car now because you told me that people used to break in
The gym lockers, so I don't I don't leave my wallet in the gym locker anymore, but yeah, I gotta stop bringing my phone in
How about this notion to put it out there speaking of wallets?
The academy of the dojo is a place where you can leave your belongings a
Wallet or phone which has happened to me several times where I've left my wallet with full of cash
And it's still there and actually a guy finds it and
Gives it to the instructor who puts it in a drawer behind the desk and never once worried about it being stolen or being ripped off
So few places anymore. We can actually trust can't even do it at your own gym. Somebody's actually gonna
Pick the lock or cut the lock to get into your stuff, but at the academy. There's this is there's a code. That's another
point of all this it's
Hard to describe how there's that camaraderie and trust
That I think is it's rare these days
You know your word
Well, did you do something else you just was such a great exercise
But at the same time I get my hand caught in your gi and we spin I break my wrist
You know an arm bar a little you know
So when you're doing things like that that and it's a quick arm bar
It's a quick tap an elbow could go quickly an elbow doesn't need you know right on it
I'm 300 pounds. I go
Yeah, that's why I don't mess with those and I don't mess with those because I know I'm gonna hurt somebody so
I learned how to do them
But I won't really want it because my speed going backwards is a fucking your pop everything will pop
I'll rip your arm while you're a socket. Well, every dude did you guy and Joey has come in here?
The one standard is usually they all say how nice everybody is a jiu-jitsu and it seems like that
But what's going but what do you think is going on with all the UFC fighters getting hurt and then the training camps now?
Like what what is the what is the what does the difference happen?
You want me to tell you what I saw I'm not liking that I saw what happened
This is what I saw what happened at the end of the day
That's a martial art
It's a triple martial art, but I think people are
Turning it into the anti martial art
I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know people getting hurt and training because you train that hard
Yeah, train that hard. It's three different. You're working on three different disciplines at one time
Oh, I know there's some there's some injuries that are just like you sprained an ankle or something
but it seems like there's been more like
Like sparring injuries that you would think they'd be like, okay
This guy's gonna fight the title fight. Maybe don't go and try to kill them
Well, look at somebody like Robbie Lawler. He doesn't spark
He knows he could fight what he does is he works with a coach and he wrestles he wrestles a lot to get his work
Got it. So everybody has different training methods, you know, and accidents are gonna happen
Right. I know that somebody got hurt. Oh, John Jones got hurt and Dana White said what the fuck is he doing?
jiu-jitsu and with fuck-o
Without Alistair overrain. I get what you're saying, but you got to work and you got a and they want to push them
So you guys these guys are super athletes that want to go to the next level and we all get
reckless and start to go, you know
You know what back in the days when I would compete I got into this mindset of I've got to get the best guy
And I'm I would pull him aside and say put me to task here like we're in a company. It was stupid
And I ended up, you know, I
Get get a neck crank and my neck's out for two weeks
But I'd ask him I'd say I need to be pushed to that level and that's where I think these guys are but I'm on umpteenth level and
They the competition is so fierce now
all of these guys are so well matched that
they're looking for that next thing and
That's when the accidents happen no matter how well padded and protected you are
You don't catch you guys backfist and hit you the wrong way boom, you know
Or you you're rolling with overreem and a guy like that and he goes to armbar you and you don't tap quick enough
Or he's just too too fast boom that happens that fast so fast
Um, I don't know. I think that's just it. They're just pushing themselves
I mean it makes sense, but I just didn't cuz like everybody I haven't met one person that does you did too
They all make a point of saying how nice everybody is and how they're not gonna try anything like you and we do you must you
Don't there's there can't be that many 300 people plus people there. So you have to just say I got a black eye
Do you really look at it? Yeah, I've gotten a lot of those. Oh, yeah, yeah from what it just happens
You'll get a you get an elbow or you know, you see it right there. Oh, okay. I
I didn't even say nothing about it my wife noticed it just this is listen
I got an interesting call from Rogan yesterday
Like he said he went back to the comedy store Tuesday. Oh, wow. Yeah, he said he couldn't believe it
I explained them. I said now you know what I'm talking about
You know, we do great shows at the ice house. I do great shows at flappers, you know, I
Could go to hi every night and they great comedy clubs
But I could walk in there and read the yellow pages and get a laugh because the people that are on before me
People that are learning. So I'm like a fucking king in those clubs. I could do those clubs all the time
That's not what I want to do. I
Want to keep getting pushed when I go to the comedy store
You got to follow Sebastian one night and Neil brand the other night and one of these new guys these young 22-year-olds
You know Carmine Gerard Carmichael or something you got to fucking work
You got you're thinking you had you had a plan when you went down there now you got to change that plan
This kid's energy is strong. So I got to come out with more energy. So that joke I was gonna do in the beginning
I'm gonna move that and open up with this and come out there fucking swinging. Let me ask you something
You're my brother and I trust your judgment. You haven't seen an improvement in my stand-up since I went back to the store
A thousand percent. Yeah, I was in percent because I'm not fucking around them. I'm in a different league now
I went back to and I'm purposely
Staying out of those did the energy level move up. Yeah, how big is the energy now? It's a complete different kind of
Because now I got that somebody pushed me a little bit at the store
They pushed me a little bit that that you have to I had to remember those things
I was coming out and I was writing material, but I wasn't a performing in front of the fucking original. That's
He can match I don't that's John Jock. That's Cabrini's
That's where you go to the night class and you know that yeah
So once again, this goes back to so this this can't be taught. No, this is this has made my point
This is when I was a kid knowing I could play hoops on 38th Street
I could go to Emerson and play with drag and the kid Mahoney those motherfuckers went to birth so you know
You know shit, you know, I saw Godzilla the other day. You saw you see Godzilla a new one
Yeah, you see Godzilla Brian Cranston in it. Yeah, one of the best actors walking around today
He's so bad and Godzilla not because he's bad
I had a bad day because the movies bad the people around them a bad
That's right. The director was bad. Everybody was fucking bad on that movie anybody who looked at that movie and said yeah
I want to go do this. We're bad. They made bad fucking choices. Yeah, and they didn't know till they got there
What do you see Brian Cranston? He's bad. It's terrible. I was on a plane going. Oh my god. It's bad
The problem is it's not he's bad. They're so even the fucking monsters bad. Yeah, everybody's bad
Yeah, so that's what happens. You go to those places you pick up bad habits now
You can't shake them when you go to the store
You can't have a bad fucking habit when you go to the improv during the week for those comedy juices and Dane's there and
Domoretti's there and Doug stand up there and Rogan's there you've got to bring your fucking a game and even if
Just being in the room brings your a game up
Sure, just being in the room that energy sure, you know when I go to whatever after my first row is horrible
No matter what I do because I can't breathe but after the guys keep pushing me by the fourth row
I'm lasting a little longer. I'm going for a move now. Okay. My cardio is not there
I'm moving around a lot of weight. I smoke dope like a savage, you know
But I keep going and that level you get better just walking into the room you get better
Do you think that's why Ari did a special at the original room? No, we did a special because no
He had a father nobody he did a special at the original room because that's where he started. That's the best
Room in the country really and listen that it you know that room doesn't lie
Yeah, I got a hand it to you guys
comics, I think you guys doesn't lie
You could go to Alabama and get standing ovations five shows in Alabama
Take that same set to the commies from the Sunday and get booed
Yeah, you have to figure out why because they don't give a fuck about ego
Yeah, the original room they just stripped you down and that's what happened to me
My first couple said to the commies though when you went how bad with it and I you and Paula what?
Yeah, okay, the first one the first one you went did was great because of pure energy and fear, but then you
Like yeah, there were a couple
So so so was but the last few I've seen have been great
Oh, I've been great because I got that timing back and that's what happened when I went to Higgins. I
Walked in there Dave raises fucking. He's good with his feet. Yes. They was controlling me with a leg
One leg 300 pounds and he had me twisted with a leg
Yeah, the toe in my neck and he had this shoulder pinned
I couldn't get nowhere. I couldn't get nowhere. It's fucking amazing
But even it didn't mean them to me it meant that I was in there for two minutes for a guy like me
That's everything because I know in my heart that those two minutes
They're gonna become three minutes
Yeah, those three minutes just crossing that threshold that threshold means everything and I like what you said about
The original room and it doesn't lie and there were guys that I followed
It came up from the the the theater in Chicago Steppenwolf Goodman Theater
And they would say that these guys were so new and and poor that they would have to
Borrow seats to build a theater
For an audience, but the thing is the seats would squeak
But it taught them everything about acting to an audience and writing for an audience because if the audience was bored
What would happen the sweet they'd be squirming and you'd hear chirping
So they'd go off-stage and go we got to rewrite this. This isn't this is not working listen to the squeak
We want them still if you're engaged in something you're sitting still you're not reading the program
You're not moving back and forth forth in your chair
So there was a blessing that we had these old
old
Rusted seats because we learned how to write for an audience and learn not an act for an audience
It doesn't lie and he goes if that hadn't happened
It's none of us to be where we are today. These are guys that are all a level guys
But that's it and you got to go in front of places that are you know, you're gonna tap out
You know, you're gonna be in front of an audience
It's gonna tell you the truth and not bullshit you like you know
You're in Alabama, and they don't care who's in front of them. You're not gonna learn from that
you're never gonna progress but
That that that's that's what comes back to you
Cannot learn that and a textbook in a classroom and spend 60 grand going to
Yale drama because they're gonna bullshit you and you're gonna end up having to figure that out ten years later
When you're on her face going why didn't this why didn't this work out?
Well, because if you cut your teeth on the stage in front of the camera
Or at the comedy store ten years prior you were to learn to
You know, I don't know anything prepare you for this
Could anything prepare you for what you walked into or what you were gonna walk into
Emerson Collin prepare you or no?
No, what I think and actually what my dad said he we wish we had done is I probably could have taken a half of what I did take and
Student loans, so let's just say I took up $50,000 alone and just came out here and was a PA
That probably would have been
Just as good the issue you have is
No matter what even if you are in the entertainment industry
they like seeing that you have a college degree and
For not and for not entertainment for any other regular kind of job if you don't have a college degree
Like they won't just hire you for like the mail room
So the the unfortunate thing now is it's gone to the point where you need it
What I've had heard a lot of people are doing now is they go for two three years to
Community colleges and just bang out a couple years of major classes at the big universities to get the name degree
but they're saving a ton of money and
The issue my mom told me about that before I went to college that I could have done that but when you're
Going through school the thought of community college in my head was like I can't go my friends are applying to
USC and my friends are going to NYU. I can't say I'm going to
To middle-sex community college. I can't say that but in and looking back on it
I should have done two years there and two years at Emerson
Yeah, I'd be out of debt by now
It's just it's great, but didn't did you have we were talking about he had David Mammon
I had the editor guy. Did you have like a comic who?
You kind of looked at her a few comics who mentored you at all. I
Got mentored without being my getting mentored like I just shut my mouth and watched
You know, I watched the Andrew Dice clay. I watched Eddie Griffin. I
Watched Paul Mooney. I watched Joe Rogan. I watched
Just different things from different comics
I'm I sat down with rock or a BC tons of time and just discussed life and ideas, you know
But that was basically I got mentored by watching
I'm gonna talk precision right now because there's two people I have to have a talk with
There's two people that can kind and dear to me that I have to have that talk with and it's that talk that
We're either gonna be friends after this conversation
Well, they're not gonna be friends and that was my biggest mentor and his name was Matt Woods
Matt Woods was a guy from Long Island. That was a comic and
He basically got into my comedy phase one day
And I'm sure somebody did it to you with jujitsu, you know, somebody's about to do it to me with jujitsu pretty soon
With somebody that's dear to you pulls your side and say why are you coming here?
Hmm, if you're gonna keep doing what you're doing, don't come you're wasting your time
You have this amount of natural talent. These are all your talents and you're wasting them by doing this
Don't come no more. Look how you dress. Look at your fucking. I mean this guy read me the riot act
And I was buck wild I had to control my hands like my hands are in my pocket
He goes you got the most talent all these guys know I've been thinking about it
But you rather do blow and wear a t-shirt not right. I mean he goes you don't write go on stage and you kill
Why would you want to write and the guy just kept fucking eating at me?
And he goes if you're really serious about comedy you'll be here next week at 8 30 because you cancel all the time
He goes I do a writing class and I got guys that go in and work and they'll never get to where you are naturally
But you want to do blow and hang out and oh my god
He just said things to me and he wasn't lying. I was a lion. He was a lion
You know, so I walked to the bus and I walked back to beat him up
When I got to the bus, I said, I'm gonna go back and bit slap that motherfucker
And I walked back and I said I can't I'll catch him next time and I got on the bus
And I went home and I cried on the bus a little bit and I went home and did blow
Then I woke up the next one. I thought about his words again. I wrote him on paper and I that's it a month after that
I became a comedian and I never saw him again and one night. I'm in Rudy's room in
Williard at the brave bull and I had to follow some old-school legend the detective guy
I like my women how I like my coffee with big tits, you know, that type of shit
And I went up there and took that room apart when I got off Matt Woods was there with Brian Dunkelman from
Brian Dunkelman's coach. Yeah, there's this kind of before American. I don't he came out here to help him with shit
And he saw me Matt Woods and I pulled him aside. I said, let me tell you something. You're so fucking lucky
I was ready to kidnap you and throw you in a trunk and beat you up
But the reason why I'm in LA is because of you
That was my biggest mentor Matt Woods and I look for him on Facebook
I heard he went to do Tucson because his brother was sick
And he went to take care of him. Nobody's heard from him since but that was my mentor because he told me the
strongest words I ever heard in my life and and they were the words I needed to hear
That's a mentor. That was a mentor. He never lied
This guy knew I could beat him up without even thinking twice and he got in my face
Just that changed me. It just changed me, you know, it's the worst when someone tells you something that you know
That's true. What the fuck but we all need that and what hopefully you get it when you're a kid
And if you don't sometimes you're getting that hard knock hard talk
Later in life. I mean my grandparents were the ones who were doing that to me
My parents are non-existent finally my grandfather Navy captain World War two and just
Strict and by the book pulls me aside one day and says you're gonna be either going to you know
Do well or you're gonna end up in jail. It's right here
It's schisms pretty pretty thin right now and he just knew he had an instinct and he goes
knock this stuff off knock it off and
You know bless his heart, but you know
What he ended up talking to me about was all happening and I was like no
No, no, no, no, no, and I wanted to strangle him never speak to him again do this whole thing but
Now I look back and I go. Oh, yeah, it's the best thing that I could but it's the best thing
you know, and
I don't know how to have it with these two. I know one guy is very resistant
He's gonna resist me the other guy might listen not talk to me
But I'm just waiting to bump into him because I'll be doing them a favor the same favor somebody did to me
We we had it as if you guys listen to the almost a year ago right after like the first of week of January
Then my podcast, I don't know might be a little bit awkward
We had an argument not even an argument at the beginning of this last year and then this year
Was probably the best year of the podcast and the podcast just keeps getting better and it's hard
especially, I don't know if it's a male thing or
Or what but we you don't you don't like people
Telling you you like you always want to prove people wrong kind of it's kind of like it's a human thing
The kids who want to steal your lunchbox and you're gonna throw it away, but you're like no
I'm not good like it just it's hard to if you're a human being and you see somebody who's wasting their fucking life for that time
And you love that person and you don't pull them aside and go. Hey, I'm not putting you down
But Jesus fucking Christ. Is this what you really want to do because you're not doing it
If they get pissed you guys weren't meant to be friends
But if you're a man and you know how to take it and turn what they said into a positive
Because when you say it to somebody you're not saying something in a negative way you're telling them in a positive way
This is what we could be fucking doing. You know, I did a podcast with a person that she was killing the podcast on purpose
Killing it by not doing little fucking things. This isn't brain surgery
This is coming on here telling the truth and putting the fucking thing up and there's a certain work at work ethic
You know, well, we have this thing in America that we worked Monday through Friday on the weekends
We need to drink drinks with fucking umbrellas in it, but then we wonder why we don't move ahead, right? Well because
Back to the most beautiful thing I found this podcast with this man just said today
When you love something it's timeless. We've discussed this you and I a thousand times that we when you're doing a podcast and having fun
And I gotta look at you and go we've been here for three hours
You guys are the best and it's obvious that you love doing it. We love it. Yeah, this is time for us
This is you know when I said I said to I go did you one of the heart?
You're an inspiration because you're one of the hardest working guys. I've ever met and I
Only known you short amount of time and I would not be saying that that's the truth
Thank you. No, so when a guy like this comes into the academy
I don't care what level you're at, but he comes in with heart and honesty and integrity
That's that's when you're building my grandfather once again would say who do you want in your foxhole?
You gotta pick you gotta think about that. That's you want some shluck who's gonna sit there and cower and it's not gonna
You know, no, you want a guy who you can trust. It's a Navy Seal credo
That guy your team member your swim buddy right next to you is gonna save your life
You be careful who you pick and who you're around because that's the person that's gonna help lift you through through life
What do you want your fucking fox? Who do you want your damn? That's it and that's the truth
So fucking truth, man, and you guys found each other. There's no accident
You know and and you're building when you're on a movie set
And you don't know what you're doing you damn well better hire people that do
Successful people surround themselves with people that know what they're doing
great artists great comics great writers, you know, I
I
I've been lucky that when I started to pursue things I would go to the source the best of the best
I just had some instinct that told me if you're gonna go and do it. Don't do it half-baked. You're gonna go all the way
I'm gonna find Hagen Machado. I'm gonna find Jean-Jacques Machado. I'm gonna find Hoy's Gracie. I'm gonna find David Mammet
I'm gonna you know, Danny Nassanto. Danny Nassanto. I I was Bruce Lee was my hero
Bruce's best friend
Teaching me Kali
I mean that's 70 years old 70 something years old. He's doing jiu-jitsu. He does jiu-jitsu
Why is he training jiu-jitsu at uh, it's former Higgins. He goes to Honato Magnos Street
Sport right where I started and then he's also
We train a little bit with John Machado. Hagen gave him his black belt
He credits Hagen for saving his life once again
He had all sorts of back problems and Hagen said well for the for six months
You're gonna do hip escapes up and down the mat
Wax on wax off and back and forth and he said it strengthened his back
Little chiropractic work
back to normal
amazing
That's that's
Danny Nassanto, but back to you you you're as strong as the people around you. I believe that
That's it
Around bullshitters and people that are bullshitting and you feel it
They're the real the weekend warrior umbrella and the cocktail thing is not it gets no one
I've been down that road. My phone doesn't ring anymore
But for five or six years all I would get calls from people telling me how bad that career is work
And then I would just ask a couple qualifying questions like where do you go to get on stage?
Right and the three questions I find two of them that are just
Unacceptory
Acceptable unacceptable
The answers are unacceptable like I can't accept this as a human being so you mean to tell me
You're crying about this but you go into a wedding or you're going on vacation for ten days or
You're doing this or doing that but you're not doing you know
We have a friend that goes to the movies 12 hours a week
But he tells you how doing stand-up in LA sucks
Well if you cut that movie era in half and wrote for six hours went to a coffee shop six days a week and wrote one hour
Within six weeks, you'll have 20 fucking spotless minutes if you're real if you get on stage anyway, you know
Not only that what are you watching Godzilla? Yeah, you're watching crap
It's you're gonna go to a movie
You know what it's like if you're gonna go do that pursuit do it well do something
It's gonna feed you and turn you into something if you're going to see
Godzilla
Every week that type of movie you're mush
Time management so important when I time management myself I improve 10% in my game
Just I have a notebook and on that notebook
I know where I'm gonna be at every time of the day if you call me and say where you gonna be them on a 440
I can tell you by looking at that fucking notebook, and that's how I ain't all I am
That's how ain't what it is. You know, I know what I have to call
I know what time I have to call them what time, you know, it's great
It's just something that I needed to do a man without a plan is not a man
Where did you know who taught you that was it your was it your mom or dad or I just figured it out?
It's golds. It's a combination of golds and just the power of the pen
The power of the pen is the most powerful thing in the world once you write something and you look at it
You know when I go far with you guys and I say to you guys
Oh, I kidnapped the guy and put him in a trunk of a car. We all laugh when I write that out. I
Gotta stop and my tears from my face and
Get a drink of water and sneak outside and take a hit off the pipe
It's powerful and I read these things
So when you read something that you have to do when you think it's two different fucking things
I mean, I had yesterday I had a male Matt Fultron a check. It was written in there
Didn't have a time for it
But it said Matt Fultron check, you know, that means I had to go mail it at the end of the night when I walk in
I look at that piece of paper
It's got checks next to everything very seldom
Does it have a scratch or something happened or something?
You know when I write it and I couldn't go to jiu-jitsu because I got 11 o'clock audition at 950, you know
But I stick to that fucking plan, you know, that's my plan for the day today
I got dick I had whatever breakfast I make a call my niece
I got two spots tonight, but that's what you have to do that when you love something and you're getting paid for it
It becomes different
It's not a job no more it becomes I can't wait to go do this like last night when I got on stage at the ice house
My dick got hard. It was great to be back there. I had forgotten what it felt like sometimes when you're away from something for a while
You start getting negative thoughts about it. I gotta go up there once I got on stage. I was like, oh my god
This is masterful once it was flowing. I love that little room me to always loved it
I wish I could tape a CD in there or special. It just makes sense. It's just so intimate. Yeah, that's a great
That's a great spot
That really is the ice house that the stage one and two they really don't and last night the owner was there
Yeah, last night something happened. That was really interesting Danny Robinson was there Danny Robinson's one of the heads of comedy of
APA I've spoken to Danny Robinson 15 years. He's never pulled the trigger on stuff
I mean, but he's helped out when I've had to he's a good New York dude. That's the first guy
They would talk to you about college
That college. Oh, he was an agent. I thought he was a comic or something. No
Okay, you spoke to that had a comedy division of APA. Oh, that guy's father was
Johnny Carson's band leader
Wow, wow something crazy. He knows he books the bands for APA
He's like and I looked at him at one moment. I was gonna say Danny
This I even said to him I go Danny this guy's gonna be you only 3d a lot better. You heard me. Oh, well, I thought it was comic
I didn't know that's Danny Robinson
He was there to see what's the name because she was doing the taping and it was so weird. I was looking at the both of you is going
Lee is 26
And he's got so much on Danny who's already been in the business world as long because he's computer savvy
He knows about podcasts that you'll be right now
What you're doing is you're becoming something that a lot of people don't like a lot of people in this town are called managers
And they manage your career. They tell people know for you
They make decisions on auditions and shit like that. You're becoming a producing manager
You're seeing it right now. You're seeing a position. That's never been done before in this town
That nobody's really wanted. I'm not a manager. I'm a producer manager. I take clients and we produce projects
On our own. We don't need television network. We just start with podcasts. We do little fucking videos. We that's a
Production manager for somebody we go to work Jack. We don't let them bring the work to us
We bring the work to them, you know that game changed big time that game that change when suddenly when I remember being it
Being at school and we were talking about a film project and we're breaking down the numbers
film stock camera
You're in the fifth minimum fifty five grand to five hundred thousand dollar looking at doing some art project
And everyone basically says well, who's got the rich rich rich uncle or father that can fund this?
We're gonna go rob a bank. What are we gonna do? And today to be able to say
You can get a camera you can rent a camera you get a guy like Lee
He knows what he's doing working his way around producing and editing and you get the right people together and it could be done
There's no excuse anymore. All the all the excuses of why it couldn't be done
It's changed people are still gonna make the excuse, but for the guys that are hungry and out there and want to work
It's right here
Changed everything
I'll call this morning about some guy Damon
Calling he's got an idea. He goes. I got a great idea. He pits it to me goes
I go we could do this online. He goes. That's where it's gonna start and you're gonna catch on with this
You know people years ago. You couldn't do anything now. He's right. You got a camera
You get some kids we turn the camera around we turn the camera on them nobody knows nothing
They think I'm talking to the kids, but I'm really saying suck my dick go out there
That's how we do the Stacy's mom. I was a school teacher, but I wasn't really talking to kids
I was yelling suck my dick get out there get a's and else and they show the kids and their faces
Talk to kids like that. So it wouldn't be they had like three kids up front that were a little older making believe
But you could do this shit online now. Yeah, if you really have a dream, you know, I love to shoot a special
Nobody's gonna reach out and offer me a special. I'll shoot it on my own
You know if I put 10 minutes on YouTube and sell the rest five bucks. I don't give a fuck
I could do it on my own. You don't need nothing to get out there anymore
right the only issue with that is that and we and we were very lucky and we work hard but with the
Market is so saturated now and it is a little bit harder to get notice. I think but if you have a good product
I think I think cream rice is the top. Yeah, no matter what and it's a matter of time and it does take longer and it is saturated. It's actually I
Don't know you've probably heard about this, but when Google acquired YouTube
They decided that what they were going to do is build studios and start to have tiers of
Product and what was commercially viable what was actual talent and kind of cut through the blizzard of nonsense
Where everybody and their uncle's uploading something you can get lost through that by the time you actually find content
You're already frustrated and you're leaving it
so this notion of somehow filtering through the nonsense and getting to what's
Actually worthwhile
So I think that's all happening now and where it's going to start to change once again
That's going to be the next evolution with the people like yourselves and others that are that are above and beyond
the crackpot out there if you will so
But I'm a firm believer in in
If you were
Working at it it'll eventually reach an audience
Just takes a little longer
someone Dave
We go to jiu-jitsu Dave doesn't warm up and then he teaches his son two or three things and we
drill him five times a beat and then he goes it's time to roll now and
The first time I roll the first two minutes, it's I think of everything bad
I'm gonna break it on my heart's beating. I'm gonna have a heart attack
But I hugged the cat that I do my will I think of the weirdest things and then after I tap
And I get my oxygen as I'm spinning around walking and I can't focus. I think about why do I come here?
I'm never gonna get good at this. I'm never coming back after tomorrow
I'm just gonna get rid of this key and not come back and go to kettle bells or something and then I get in the second row
Thinking all this and all of a sudden it starts coming back to me. I think of comedy
I think they're coming out again people telling me that was too old
that was too dirty and
I couldn't get an agent and I didn't go home. I
Just didn't go home. Yes there. I'm watching cold case and it was me on cold case in 2004
I remember when I booked it that was the biggest part. I've gotten to date
I play a cab driver and they come interrogate me and I booked it because I know what it is to be interrogated
I still remember going for the read and then not letting me go home. That's when you read down it
That's when David whatever had the studios. He still has what's the guy's name that had the the law show David something
He built studios in Redondo Beach. Oh, yeah, and he built boy
They were shooting CSI Miami down there was gorgeous down there
And it's next to a brugers bagels and that's every time I went down I would be excited because I was going to brugers bagels
Was it the one in Manhattan Beach? Yes. That's where they shoot America's money some videos. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes
Down there really fucking sharp. Yeah
And I still remember going in for that and going I can't believe I booked these roles
But I won't even they won't even let me go to Montreal at the comedy festival
But the only thing I had was that I had nothing going on. So I kept doing comedy
So in my second role when the guys pulling me down, I'm like, I'm gonna die
I think of what the fuck I was having the same problems with comedy 20 years ago
Well, I would go home and cry like if I can't make him come listen if the comedy didn't work the first three or four years
That's it. I was gonna go back to drugs and stabbing people
But every time I got on every like three times I got on stage
I got a fucking window open up or like a
Like a moment of clarity that you're like, you know what this might just work
I'm gonna come back on fucking Tuesday, you know
And then I would get a week of work and then next, you know, you're a fucking believer
So that's why I keep going to jiu-jitsu because I know I suck today
But if I keep going I just keep going
Eventually someday I'll do something nice and then I'll really get into it and really get I'm looking forward to December
When I'm off the road because I'm gonna go fucking every night
But you're doing it already
So it's all they they used to say if you want to find out how you're doing ask the guy next to you because we don't know
We're we're we're in our heads and second-guessing
But like what we did yesterday side mount you're putting the pressure on you reach around remember you said you didn't
You couldn't and finally you I told you feed the ghee grab it and you did it
That's leaps and bounds from a couple of weeks ago in a short amount of time
So think about that if you think and he also this notion of it's a it's a lifetime pursuit
and
You know we want to get to everything as quickly as possible, but
Put the ghee on show up do the warm up one step at a time
But I will tell you and Dave's told you from where it was when we first met to now
Tremendous tremendous. I could feel I could feel just like I told you I you look like you'd lost weight
Yeah, just my fitness now went to Miami killed me dog them fucking Cuban sandwiches. I had no fly
Nothing I even ate salads at night with my my sorry, but those Cuban sandwiches. I was looking for them today
Oh, 800 calories. Yeah, yeah, like a regular one is 800 fucking calories. I was eating those
I had a two croquettes a day. I didn't eat no banana. No fried bananas. I eat no
Potatoes with the meat in them because those things will kill you like a thousand milligrams of carbon carbohydrates. I love it
Funny before the podcast I were talking about the toll
Knowing when somebody's gonna be a kiss at death
Like just knowing and I'm not being a kid one time and one to jump on somebody
I never forget this and I was dealing with this guy named Tommy Kenny. He was an Irish guy. There was no Westies
He was at like a missing eye and he would get me these jobs to stake out places like that was this thing
I got you listen kid come over. I got your job in and out burger. I want you to sit out
They got your job as a host outside, but you're not really hosting. They pay everybody else eight
I got the manager to give you 15 and I'm gonna give you an extra hundred
You're gonna sit there and you know watch that manager from the Honda dealer
And you're gonna tell me all day what it movements on you're gonna write them on a piece of paper
This is Tommy Kenny and he called me with these fucking jobs
I don't know one day I talked to him about somebody with Tommy. We got to get rid of this guy
I really want to break his fucking neck and he goes who that the he goes listen. Just give him time
That guy will shoot himself on his own time and sure enough the guy got in trouble got 12 years
I'm like, how did you know and I had over that was the biggest lesson I learned from Tommy Kenny
He goes there's a difference me somebody having a bad day and somebody's spiraling out of control
Some people have bad days you work with those people because they're gonna have a lot more good days because they had that bad day
But some people, you know when you see somebody who gets caught
Selling six ounces of blow to a cop. Don't go to his house the next day. You disconnect the fucking phone
It's over especially if he calls you and says hey my connections done
Can you get me two ounces of coke hang up the phone that guy's on a wire?
It's over that guy's going downhill and eventually he'll get shot in his own
You're gonna go to somebody like him and go hey Lee just came to me to buy two ounces of fucking rat. Let's shoot him
Watch you say it to me all the time
You'll you'll all bring somebody up. It was in the news or something or all who I saw and he'd be like watch him in like six
Months later. He'll be gone. He'll be gone. It's it's the law
OJ Simpson great look great analogy. You knew it. I knew it. You don't even know I let him let him just give him some time
He's come on. I asked Lee last night Lee. This is the best way to put it
If some if you came to you and said come here Joey Dears
There's gonna get hit with a missile and the next ten years. You just don't know when I know the people were sending the missile
They're working on it right now
Don't hang out with them. Would you hang out with Joey Dears if you know a missile was coming?
Same thing with people like OJ or should night should night night great
I saw a should night one time in LA and
He was across the street. I looked and what I saw was I don't know
I saw I didn't see a big six foot eight black guy. I
Saw a guy that was getting hit with a missile
Mm-hmm, and he keeps doing little things
Like he keeps doing little things. That's just to let him know that we're here
We didn't forget that you you know who's gonna shoot to pop you were in on it
You cashed the money you stole that money and he's not rich today by no means nothing
He's not rolling cat Williams was fine. I'm so he put that man in his life
Cat Williams was doing fine
until something and cat Williams is
Because when you get that big you don't know who to trust I guess
Somewhere in his mind. He thought it would be okay to hang out with should night
Do you think cat Williams needs this right now? He's not gonna do fucking 30 years. Oh, I know that it's a $70,000 bail
He might do a year though
They might just make a fucking point with this guy
Should nights not gonna do 30 years, but they're going after should right on the three felony thing
Yeah, they gave him a million dollar bail. So what they're gonna do is 25 years or plead bargain to eight
You'll never see should night again. No shoot him in jail
Mm-hmm
Is that what happens you think with like a man to binds and all these celebrities who keep every every six months get arrested for
Drinking or something like that. It's just they have something going on and they can't even help it
They've had no life experiences. So right now they're overwhelmed
They're overwhelmed you got look at didn't fucking walk the line go crazy for walking Phoenix. Well, that was fake
He did that for a fake documentary. I'm just back
Well, you know Andre talks about it, too. There are a lot of these players that come up that come out
And get contracts in the NFL they have these classes now
They have these classes now of how to handle your your money work
These guys have no clue and suddenly got this kid who's growing up from the inner city
Talented ball player and says here's a 20 30 million dollar contract. They're out of their mind
Well, Billy Corbin did that broke 30 for 30 and which is just amazing frickin Antoine Walker the old Celtic
He made a hundred million dollars as an NBA and he's broke
bouncing chatted frickin casinos, right? Oh
Yeah, oh
Yeah, I'm dope. I couldn't listen this number. Those are the best. That's
You don't want to chase it with any no talk to a foodie
You're awful one to your fucking gas contract. What I'm gonna get given when we ate already. I had a box last night
I'm good. I had a box
These things are fucking delicious. Those are good these little nutty nutty bars
And if you spill them, it's a hundred fifty a piece, right? Right? Yeah, stay to mine
Like I said, you decide you decide
I got so high last night. I was so proud of myself. I didn't eat. I went to bed. I
Woke up at 3 30 to pee. I ate like a quarter of box of kicks
Mm-hmm, and I made a peppermint sandwich and string cheese. You know what's funny about that
I'll put out apples and like tangerines. Yeah, it doesn't matter
Because then that what ends up happening is I go well, I've been good. I had an apple now
I'm gonna go make a salami sandwich. It's like this
You never really sat
Said fuck it. I like when you when you have the munchies
I don't know if you smoke or not, but it's just like even if I had ten apples in front of me
Right, I'd walk five miles to the McDonald's. I fucking have bananas at the house and raspberries
I love the last night when I got home. I polished two bananas. I
Took a handful which are great for you after a workout. Oh, that's the best for you
I'm a fruit guy. Even this morning. I went to breakfast with the wife and I got a side
I got an omelette and a sidewater fruit. I love my little fucking melons and my
Canalopes and all that shit. Oh my god
That's for me if I still eat two bananas and raspberries and an apple and I'm still hungry fucking it's on I
Got no time, but I at least give the banana and the apple a benefit of the doubt
I give them the benefit of the doubt because
I ate it too fast. So it was delicious. It was delicious
They take it back to your childhood though. She's like Twinkies and all that stuff on like ding dongs and ho hoes
My mom never really gave us those me neither. I was a yodel. I wanted them. I'm a yodel
Motherfucker with the vanilla cream rolled up this way you get to do a yes
Yeah, but somebody else calls them ho hoes. Ho hoes. I'm a yo-ho. Okay, Yodel guy
I was also a devil dog motherfucker
Oh, man, double in the middle of the two chocolate cakes that now tastes like dick
What were the ones like the chocolate cupcakes? I had like little circles on the top hostess. That's a hostess
They used to be delicious. Not any more stuff change the fat out of the chain. It's just a mice out of the factory
When I was a kid I used to go to the hostess and C-Clock as filthy
Filty filthy fucking delicious
Delicious, but nobody died. What was now now everything's sanitized and trans fats taken out and no flavor. It's like a
I lived in the north end of Boston the Italian section
When they first put in I think it was a trans fat band
I don't it was one of the whatever those kind of fats that you're not so that you're not supposed to have and they put a
Band in and the guy of like the biggest Italian bakery in Boston like went on news and said
It's not gonna be as good anymore. Just letting you guys know
Yeah, and they're still lines down the block
But it's it's Mike's pastry on Hanover Street in Boston. There's lines out the door all day every day
And when they made that bedding, it's like, you know, it's not gonna taste the same name or
Freyhofer and to men's
Tastes like shit the chocolate donors, but he used to then they get went into all the all the fat free stuff
It's not and them and I still look at them and sometimes I go
Because those boxes of chocolate chip cookies. I was raised on eating a box of those with chocolate milk
That's just what you did the chocolate donors with the white balls when you've been into in the sugar balls, fellow lovi
That's what I did
I like a lot like the low cake all day. Oh my god. The Danish
The Danish my god, the Danish my mom used to make this thing called not the yeah, it's a Cuban egg-custed
Cinnamon and you pour it over the pound the sour cream
Okay, no, oh my god, and you oh my god
You put cinnamon on top you put in the refrigerator and the thing goes into the pound cake
Oh my god when my mother died till this day
I won't eat not the year that somebody else makes just because it's a waste of time. It's like egg
It's like everything that you're gonna gain weight like I tell you what put the six pounds on me when I went to the radio station in
Miami last week that had condensed milk
With something else mixed in a curry cookie
We both condensed milk and brown sugar. I'll do condensed milk and coffee. Oh my god
Oh my wife coffee with condensed milk like a Hawaiian coffee. Kona coffee. Oh god. I don't care
That's milk will put nights to
I still drink eggnog
How good is that shit without the rum the fucking eggnog in the morning when you pop that motherfucking drink it out of the fucking
Count carton and it just goes down. Good. Good. Oh my god. Oh my fuck. Let me give some shout-outs
I'm getting fucking excited
Well, I give some shout-outs to my main man Jason Anderson. I love you cocksucker
Thanks for getting the patch and the rest of this stuff. I'm mad. Oh, I'm mad. You bad motherfucker
That's another thing. I gotta add to that joke. I ate sabred hot dogs and Arabian water. I'll never get fucking
Ebola Ebola Alex bones Jones. I love you Michael
Alvarado, I love you too. Sandman stay black Mitch Brown David Repreza
Burge eat always a pleasure seeing you on the street. And yes, I did my main man Cassius Morris's
Podcast he's new podcast. I like
He's great. This kid has got a kiss to do his show. I wish we wouldn't done that at 15
We would have ran this fucking town by now fucking kid is making a
Spectacle himself. Yeah, he's a bad motherfucker. I really like him a lot man. Yeah, he's great
What's happened Lisa? Yeah, oh
I'm still upset about Felipe with the vegan shit. I'm getting emails every day about the coke. That was my hilarious
The coconuts of each you just get the sauce can't come on. Oh, and then you kept rattling on names
You know, like hold on. I just want the sauce. It's come on wife. Just give me
And that's why some of the part of the podcast I've done
I haven't been as successful as this one the big thing with that was that I looked at Joey's face and
I could see him dying inside and and he
Fleeping him a great friend. So I was like, maybe he's not gonna say anything
But I knew if I poked you a little bit. It was like a balloon and there's a load
He kept saying shit about fucking the menu and the cake and I'm like, how many is the grateful dead coming to your wedding
I mean, how many vegans do you know? I'm a fuck I know people. I know three fucking vegans
I mean, let's vegans talk on the phone about recipes or send each other email
You know, the vegans that I know look like they're dying. It's a weird thing. They look like they're dying
they they're their
couple of buddies of mine that have done it and they
God bless them for trying it, but they just don't look the same like something's like they've lost part of their soul and some
It's weird can't eat meat every day and you can't eat, you know, you could try eating the chicken and fish
Everything's in balance. I couldn't imagine I crave a steak. Yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah, I go for a big ass steak, but I'm not gonna do it
I'll just have a piece of chicken with fucking rice or chicken teriyaki something
But I crave a fucking big red goddamn steak that when you feel it you could feel your blood pressure
We're cave, man. I mean, let's I mean think about hunters and gatherers, right?
My girlfriend doesn't really like steak
So it saves me a bunch of money and every once and all I would love to go get a medium rare
You got to do it. You got to do it by right after this with a baked potato and shit a nice chopped salad
Shit, I'd be nice that chocolate cake at Morton's. We got that one. Oh my god. Was the best is that that molten lava? Yeah?
Fuck granted granted. That's my mind so high, but that that and I'll eat the whole oh
Nobody's touching. I'm ordering one man. I just want to put my face right in the middle. It's God
I know people who could go home at night. I have a sweet to you guys, man
I don't know how people do it
Like eat a whole cake like I don't know I don't even consider my wife will bake cakes every night if I let it
And I tell her please don't fuck around see my grandparents did that so we would go stay with them
You like little mice at two in the morning you hear someone walking out tiptoeing on the hallway
Oh, yeah, then you'd hear then the next person's took down and then I wake up that it's gone
Everyone had been up every hour because she would bake and make everything
everything
Do you know Betty Clarker?
Brownies like the red box that you can buy anywhere. Yeah, they're just fine. That's the brownies my mom makes
I'm seeing her this week and she's coming to the wedding too
My mom was gonna make a pan and bring it and drive it from Boston, Vermont
Cuz they're they're like they're not homemade
But those are my favorite brownies in the world and I had to put almonds in my no
I don't like nothing. I have to try them again when I was younger. I never liked almond. You know what it interrupts
No nuts because it interrupts the experience. That's what I that's really want smooth
If you if you got something you're biting into it
Stunts the experience listen Dairy Queen makes a good hot-fudge Sunday, but it's a lot better with some nuts
That's true. That's an exception. That's an exception Carvel. I love the hot-fudge
Carvel I have to tell her not to do it not to bring no you're crazy
I would have it would have especially the edges were the little bit chewy. Oh, I could I could eat an entire pan of brownies
I can do that. I can I can't eat I could do it
I'm like food food better too sometimes, but especially at night. I get a real big sweet tooth like
That I have to give those away probably today for most of them because I have that on my house the next time you give me an edible
I'm getting I don't know how many calories is in that box by
150 for the thing so 350. Yeah, you could eat one for breakfast one for dinner
Yeah, but I'm talking about I'm talking about when you give me the edibles and then I have munchies that whole thing would be
Fucking else
Yeah
They used to go up there up New Hampshire, Vermont, Maine the whole area. Yeah, it brings me back to in fourth grade
We did Vermont Odyssey and it was the biggest thing in my school
They would bring the fourth graders to lean to like cabins, but without doors and windows and the Vermont
Woods and you'd hike and and that got that trip was I think they stopped it
But all throughout elementary school. You knew that trip was happening. So we can't do that anymore
That's a whole nother thing. Yeah, it's you can't do that anymore. Remember that we used to take field trips
And we'd be out. What'd you go to grammar school? I went to
Moved around a bit so I was in Skarsdale for a little bit then parents
Split up and I went to Ohio for a couple of years and back to New Jersey
So I was bouncing around live in New Hampshire for a few years. Where'd you graduate high school in Jersey or New Hampshire?
New Jersey. Okay. Yeah, and then you that's why you went to Bergen Community College, BCC
Now William Patterson's number one party school. That's where another guest Vicky Pazza
Went to school. You went to Rutgers the Scarlet Knights. It was funny a couple
Well last week they had the garden on 30 30
We speak a lot about 30 30 here and there was the garden of Eden when the garden was eating the mass square garden
And one of the best games ever I went to watch there were the Scarlet Knights of Rutgers against North Carolina with Michael
Ford
And they had a guy named James Bailey who was six foot nine who could fucking dunk from anywhere
The Scarlet Knights it was tremendous game, but the night before I had gone to shadow
The sacred Anthony team the sacred Anthony high school team. I was in the eighth grade
So he kept Hurley kept one of me to go to St. Anthony's me and Whitey O'Donnell
So he made us go to an AAU game that was basically that's why he's such a great coach because his team would always be even in the summer
They'd be participating as his team minus one so they would always get to know each other
So we were an AAU thing and they lost and they had this kid Mandy Johnson went to Marquette and stuff
And I remember he was yelling at his fucking players like
Tomorrow if you're thinking of going to see North Carolina against Rutgers
Don't go you guys don't deserve to see Michael Coran
He's from Jersey City and he won a championship as a freshman blah blah blah blah blah blah whatever
But I remember that he gave us the tickets and going there and seeing Rutgers and shit
It was just mind-boggling for me till this day. I get goosebumps. You know, I watched the World Series last night
That was funny how crazy
You watch the UFC and when you talk to UFC people they're telling you how it's the number one ground fast and sport
Well, guess what bitch?
You ain't never gonna be as big as fucking baseball and after Sunday's game when I saw all those people going crazy in San Francisco
It's amazing. Well, we perceive and what is like a fucking American baseball is fucking huge. Okay. Yeah, you're done
The college football in this country is fucking huge, you know, you know
Football this 19 games on a Sunday and you're worried about your 18,000 fucking Mexico. Go fuck yourself
These guys do ten fucking games on a Sunday, you know, but who's your team your your baseball team?
You know, I watch it all you enjoy
You just enjoy watching the game all these parts of the year and listen to all these guys talk about baseball
I don't watch it one time and
Then this year I went to see the Giants against the Dodgers the last week of September
On a Monday, I took my uncle my uncle's 76 year old Cuban guy who loves the Giants, you know, since he came from Cuba
So I took him I said, you know, I don't do much of my uncle for years
I would go to Costco and I had two tickets for 50 bucks plus two hot dogs and two sodas
So I would take him every year twice, but now Costco ever since Michael Jordan took over the team
There's no deal at the Dodgers for Costco. That's a great fucking deal. I mean, you're definitely
Lakers
Definitely not gonna give you 52 tickets $50 and they'd upgrade you they would upgrade you when you got to the state
Oh, you bought my Costco. We're gonna give you field tickets. It was a great deal. So this year. I didn't have the time
But I just went online. I went to Subway one day and they had tickets for sale for 10 bucks
And I went home and looked them up and you sat up, you know, they gave you a napkin and shit and fucking dizzy spells
There's really a dizzy where they're gonna seat for 10 bucks
So I just went for and took my uncle went to see the Giants and it was great. I remembered how I grew up on baseball
I remembered how it's like fishing. It doesn't matter if you cheer if you go fish
It's just wellness. Yep. I'm not going to fight nobody. I'm not going to yell
I'm just going to sit in a beautiful L. A. Night
Catch the end of the heat and get the love the clouds and watch the game and then I saw how much joy it brought to his face
And I felt better about it. So right there. I started following the Giants the rest of the year
That was it for me. I started watching and I grew up on baseball and the beauty of it
And I know the intricacies, you know, my father had grown up with Tony Perez from the Cincinnati Reds
So every time the Reds would play the Mets, I would fucking get like boxed seats to to and it was just
You know, we discussed it before when we had the fighter on from Ohio
How much I like the Cincinnati Reds growing up
We're not to a couple of those games out in Cincinnati. What is it? Is it candle? No
Candlestick is Pittsburgh. No, it's river. Three River Stadium. That was that went there to out there
We were talking about it last night like the Baumgartner finishing out the game
It's a seventh game in the world series ninth inning two outs. Like it's like
That's what people dream of like that's what you would dream of when you were playing basketball
Right when you go, right when you go when you're when you're fucking in the basketball court by yourself
What are you what are you envisioning in your mind? That's it. I'm gonna score the first two points of the game
No, there's two seconds left. That's it. Fuck. I own it. Yeah, right on the buzz
I'm gonna pop this and that's what you're playing with in your mind
And the same will I mean they left to have that season and to leave somebody on third
To have that season Kansas City did and to leave somebody on third
It's a heartbreaker. They're all killing themselves today. They're all feel like shit, but they have nothing to feel
Like shit about they had no payroll
They had it was you know, I was waiting for Brad Pitt to walk on the fucking field because they had no payroll
Nobody expected them to do anything, you know, and it's a shame because
Maybe now they won't get broken up and maybe they'll stay together and play this year and then this year and then the year after
And then in three years when they won two world series then the management realizes what they have
And they chop them up like a fucking company and get rid of them with some shit
So you went to bcc then you went to Rutgers for a while
I did and then you ended up in new york. I ended up I was actually out in
San Francisco American conservatory theater spent some time out there
Then back to new york because that's what everyone was doing. Everyone was
People would start to talk about where you need to go to school
And I thought if i'm gonna do this seriously and I didn't know at the time like we were mentioning earlier
Hindsight's always 2020 and I would have done a little differently
But it was a good experience and being in Manhattan and studying theater and going to shows every other night and it's great
But once again, you're at do I stay in new york? Do I go to la?
and
a lot of guys were coming out to la and
Met a couple directors and decided to come out and never left
It's great. And what are you working on now?
um
For about a year and a half a documentary on jujitsu on jujitsu, but primarily
As the story goes the
history of jujitsu through the special forces
so
back in the day
even
preceded the dog brothers, but a lot of these guys from inosano academy that were training in waitai jikundo and kali
uh
Ran into some guys that were special forces
And there's a combative program that existed at the time
But was a pretty basic karate
some guys knew some wrestling
had a
little bit of training
But nothing is intense and specific
as
what
Dan inosano was teaching and others and it was right around the time when jujitsu just started to come out and get a name
And lo and behold hegan machado
Goes out to virginia naval warfare to train
seal team six guys
And i actually have it on footage old grainy super eight footage
of a 21 year old hegan machado barely spoke any english
with
10 seals lined up on a mat and one by one they come to him and he wraps them up and chokes them out
These guys are in top form best shape
other lives
Super badass
And they're all getting tapped out and they're shaking their head going. What just happened here?
And from then on
This guy pat tray who's become a really good friend of mine
22 years in the seal teams became a hegan machado black belt
And instructor under dan inosano and collins. You guys were just out of school by the month. Yeah
Okay. Yeah, so I got to know him hung out for a few years and I decided it's an interesting story here that hasn't been told in terms of that lineage of
of how
jujitsu and other forms of martial arts so deeply impacted
Some really incredible people and what year was this when hegan did this hegan in the early 90s
I'll show you some of the pictures on me. He's just this this completely ripped scrawny
21 year old resilient guy who turned these guys into pretzels
and
From that point on pat tray and frank kuchi and others on the seal team said we need to learn this stuff
Once again, we're going to go to the best guys around the world
You know go to thailand learn y-tai
Collie
Transfers into knife fighting for knife fighting skills, you know hand hand combat
eric polson for
combat submission wrestling
And they all became black belts and went on to start their own academies
and
Still train other forces around the world
So that what they did was they created a hybrid of this
And do an intensive combatives program
So I I I basically went back and forth to virginia interviewed a bunch of guys in asano
machados
Stayed with pat tray went down to virginia beach
To meet his buddy frank kuchi seal team six guy
and
put together a documentary and it's
also
my way of giving back to what
How this impacted my life starting, you know karate at 11 years of age and wrestling and then finally jiu-jitsu and
College you can do all this but but the amazing
people that I've met along the way and
Kind of bringing it all back to the source
so i'm
editing
Just talk to a composer about cutting some music for it
Still have a few interviews to do but that's a passion project and
once again just
Around guys that I that I love and admire and want to tell the story
It's almost too bad
With documentaries that you can't put out like a 20 hour documentary
And I mean ken burns does put out really long ones
But the amount of stuff like the amount of knowledge you must have now on those people and like the history of jiu-jitsu
Elite it's almost too bad. You have to make it an hour. It would be a mini series exactly right. It's like it's like a
it would be
About a 20 hour mini series. Yeah, no, it's uh
and even even the stuff that isn't necessarily
It's not that it's not entertaining but it wouldn't keep people's attention to you like, okay
We have to cut this right some of that stuff if people just gave it a chance
Right would be so great and you know as an editor so much of it
It's just peeling away the layers
And the hard part is pouring through hours and hours of footage and saying I want this and then like you said some guy goes
Yeah, but it it doesn't propel the story
Through and some people aren't going to be interested. You got to keep it really tight and I go wow
So this is going to get I'm going to have this condensed to an hour and a half
That's the hardest part of all of it
My favorite thing making was documentaries and it's hard when you make it and edit it because
When you make it, you know, you get so attached to it. It's good to have an editor who had no
Right. He has no background with us. It's like, okay, we'll cut this. Yeah
I can't imagine how many hours of footage did you get for it must be hundreds hundreds
And then you know, it's going to be 90 minutes less than 90 minutes of it shot over about two and a half years
um, it's
going to get cut down to 90 minutes and
Yeah, it's that that process is one that nobody understands till they're in it because there's so
Much footage and then I'll go back and look over some stuff that I shot a year ago and they're priceless in asano
talking about
Bruce and says a quote and then talks about well pat tray and
When pat was on his mission and he came back and this and I go that's got to be in there, but
Can't
Or it's I'm almost going it's going to have to be another documentary. You know, it's it's tough
It's a dance around all that
Probably the most fun we had making the documentary with joey was we went to his buddy's house
So his grandma's house where joey stayed for a few months
And the most fun I had was george was trying to get his grandma to eat
And they were talking to his grandma about black people and she didn't like him
And I I don't think we use that very much of that scene in the thing because it didn't really
Do anything for but it was they always have these things where you can
Win a day on set or win to follow this guy
Like it'd be great if you had a documentary director
You really loved to follow him around while they're making it because you'll get
Oh the making of behind the scenes sometimes
There was some behind the scenes footage
I had two camera guys that were filming me talking to hegan pat and and dan in asano
And our interchange when they didn't know the camera on this is another interesting phenomena when they these guys didn't know the camera was on
is when they're really relaxed and letting
the gems fly
And like he said that could almost have been its own separate
Let's have camera guys follow you around trying to get these auditions these interviews
And kind of everyone talking off off the record. It kills me not every time
But there's been times where we've had a guest in and had a better podcast before the podcast
And then when we know we're recording. I don't know what it is, but it gets it gets changed a little bit
You know mammon always said it's interesting when he was directing on a set
He would say he said something happens when you yell action
Something goes on and suddenly the guy that was relaxed and having this this interchange turns into a mannequin
And he says why is it that when all the extras are hanging around the craft service table?
They're relaxed and everything's real
But turn the camera on and people it's suddenly
Robot, you know that it's the same sort of thing. It's uh
I I was trying once I saw that footage from from then on I was always trying to just
Turn the camera on a little early
Have a regular conversation see what would come out and it got some pretty cool stuff
but
Uh at the end of the day, it's been a it's been an amazing journey and that once again I uh
Blessed have been around some amazing people
These guys are incredible
They're the best at what they do
They've devoted their entire lives when you're around people that have devoted their entire lives
To a person in pursuit of something
It's it's pretty powerful
and and uh
The stories of what these guys have been through and what they've done
Is remarkable and once again these are people that said look I want to be as good as I can get at this
Where do I have to go to do it and who do I need to find and that's what they did
You know, I look at my journey sometimes I sit there
When I did grudge match
You know, I get there and I'm on a set with these people and naturally I'm intimidated that's your
You start thinking about all your flaws and your insecurities and then you
You know, the narrow comes over and shakes your hand and says your joey. Yeah, how are you when you talk a little bit and then
You rehearse and the camera comes on you do your first scene and you can't you know, it was strong for me
I went back to the room and I had to sit there and not smoke dope and
I jumped just jumped to the shuttle and I sat there and let the hot water hit me
And I thought about what had happened to me. Just just just what just happened to me
You know what without acting classes and all and I had taken acting classes and I got
For the role I got coached and everything. I mean I didn't fly him down. I got coached up and I made notes
But it was amazing
I became that much better after I went back to my room just being in the scene with him
But I also realized something else I realized and I don't mean to people who listen to the podcast
No, you'll never hear this from me, but I'm telling you just so you know how I felt that
I was that good
like I felt that good on the set like I
Never had problems like everything was natural to me
That even afterward that kid that's really hot right now. What's the kid that's really fucking hot? Kevin Hart? No, john
Bernard he's in that fucking movie with with that fury that you went to see last week
When that played the Nero son in grudge match
Oh, okay, John. Whatever his name is at the hottest fucking actor right now came over to me
We started talking about calmly how to incorporate comedy into
Stand up like he was like, oh my god. You just incorporated humor like I've never seen him
John Benton John Benton
Benethor whatever and it was so weird that I went home. Oh my god. That's weirdly said that to me
Okay, so now we have that on the control that I'm good on the set
But I you don't have to come and tell me joey stands over here
I know the fucking angles. I know everything. I know where they can't where's the camera going to be there?
We have right on the back boom. I know how to play the both of them
I learned this from
Getting on a thousand movies and doing a thousand tv shows. So we got that
Then we have this new thing called podcasting
And podcasting we saw last night when somebody's bad at podcasting
when somebody tries to
Tell jokes from their routine with no setups
You know and then how you learn to incorporate life with your routines
To make it seem like it's conversational
And that's what we do here when I at night when I'm going through the things and I'm
Right here. I'm like, oh, I'll tell that story. But this is you're following me. So now we have that now we have stand up
So I've become it's become this g kundal ways
And I'm a mediocre writer
You know, like I could write a book if I had to I could write a script if I had to have I have to do it
No, but I if I could I could sit with somebody in the room and write with them and say, oh, I don't like that there
Whatever. So in a way, the weakest element I have is the writing which is my back game
You know, I'm great on top of you. You're not going nowhere. You could probably get me into half guard
You're gonna sweat. So my element's gonna be fucking
But I become it's a g kundal
I'm not just a comic no more
I'm not just a comic no more and I'll sit there and go
How did I become a comedian podcaster an actor and a writer? How did this title get put on my fucking head?
I'm not a producer. I'm none of those things. I'm a writer or a fucking cop
It's a life experience. It was a journey
It was a 20 year fucking journey, you know, uh
Magno, when you go to that guy, he's very wrestling based
It's a very wrestling based jujitsu
You know, my thing is a very whatever a dirty type act that looks
Improvised but really isn't you know, whatever the fuck you want to call it
But it's so weird that I made this journey and I made the commitment
If you were gonna tell me when I was 28
But I'd be doing this right now. Oh what I laugh in your fucking face
I just laugh in your fucking face and tell you you're a jerk off and your psychic abilities are fucking disgusting, you know
But so like it like I know you have said that you didn't think you were in get to this age
But when you were 28 if you could imagine being alive at this age, what would your what would you have thought you'd be doing?
Hiding from the cops really still
I didn't see any other way to get out. I thought I was the kiss of death
What you but when you were a kid because we all sat around in daydreamed about what we wanted to do like the baseball player
That was hitting the balls right into the lights shattering the lights
Or the the astronaut whatever it was. There must have been some
Dream you had as a kid when you were a daydreamer. Yeah, the dream of being a
A lawyer like the idea of being maybe a cop
And then when you're 15, yeah, everybody wants to be Julia serving
And that was the first dream that got crushed under my feet that I really reacted to like it really took me off
My sales because I quit that was the first time I quit something
Like I quit high school basketball when I was so traumatizing how to quit high school
I couldn't even look at those people with their fucking uniforms because I was a lot better than them
I just didn't know how to put it together. You know what I didn't have
discipline
I didn't it's it that my wife and I talk about this all the time. How many people come here. You just mentioned it tonight
They they're great in college, but then they come here and they fall apart. They fall apart. Yeah, it becomes real
It becomes real and it makes you want to act a certain way
And you know, you can't carry that every fucking day. So you're not even gonna deal with it
I had a friend who's a funny guy came from texas
Did three or four shows and also his father got ill in texas and he had to go back and
I'll be back in three months. That was five years ago. He's gone. Yeah, he just knew
He just knew for him to move here and to keep it up to that fucking level
And to do all these things he had to continue
A thing of work when I go to jujitsu, I know I'm not gonna go there two days a week and become a world champion
Eventually, I gotta go for I'm not gonna want to be a world champion
But I know that if I was a young kid
22 I know that after six months, I gotta do a die here either I come to every class
Six days a week
And that's the same thing with comedy. There's a point where you go. You know what? This is not working
Either I gotta work a little harder
Or I'm just gonna quit it be easiest to quit
It would really be a lot easier just to not fucking do this, you know
And that's why we're all in this room
Let me give a fucking shout out to the sponsors who get the fuck out of here. How's that before you?
How's that one for you? At least I am then you're on a plane edible free for the weekend
But we're back. Maybe sir. Maybe sir
Tuesday night Monday night Monday and Tuesday. We're back next week going deeper and deep
The chef is preparing a new lemon cake for you. He told me today
That's gonna knock you into fucking orbit. You like these new glasses. These are my john lennon look
You look good. There's a very fancy. I don't give a fuck. First of all, we're gonna give a my main people on it
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Go to on it. Go to joeydeas.net or go to the on it box and press in church church
ch-u-r-c-h
Get 10% off your first order and I'll tell you what once you get on it
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Nothing gets ordered right to your house right there. Number two. Let me tell you something
Lee went home last night and ate them. I eat them all the fucking time
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Just shoot yourself right now. Why are you fucking around? You're still eating shit or whatever
Go to nature box.com. I got two words for you one word free bitch
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Nature box press and joey and press and joey and you're gonna get a free box sent to your house a sampler box sent the house
It's gonna blow your fucking mind. You might get the salt and pepper chickpeas
Don't come fucking crying me when your ass hose on fire
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Do you like crunchy things and just be honest and then they'll send you stuff and you're gonna like
I like oh, I like everything in the bag. Well, you're gonna like 75 percent of it. I'm telling you right now
You know fucking love the baby eight the the fig things they sent me the raspberry figs, which are fucking delicious
I didn't try those
Listen, there's very seldom they'll send you something that you won't go while this is fucking tremendous
You look at the caloric intake. It's perfect. It's a cup. Trust me. Go to nature box.com and press in joey
And get your free box sent right the house. Let me ask you a question
How much longer you gonna weigh those disgusting underwear for how much longer you gonna look at those underwinds?
He skid marks and fucking little blood stains and shit
If you're a real savage, you got blood stains and pus and shit in your underwear. You don't need that shit
Go to me on these.com the best
I wear me on these for jujitsu because they hold on to my leg
You're gonna jujitsu a regular underwear on your nuts pops out of the sack
It's true and the guy goes to do a fucking armbar and he's stepping on your fucking nut
Now your nut is black and blue. You you're shooting loads of the fucking purple. You're not gonna get nobody pregnant
Trust me. How do I avoid that by wearing me on these dot com
Let me tell you something about me on these they take they pull the sweat away that absorbent fucking
Material pulls the sweat away when I had surgery
I didn't wash my balls the first day because they don't want you in the shower
The next morning I went to scratch my balls to get that morning dew. There was no morning dew on my nut sack
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Tell them lee you're free shipping if you live in the united states again in canada. Who's better than fucking you
Who's better than you?
Why you walk around with those scruffy underwears you want to check the stiff your helmet?
When you wear me on these your helmet stays nice and cool
Protected from the sun. It ain't gonna get no spf number two on your helmet and your helmet stays nice and fucking pink ready to give
Out some fucking juju love. Okay cocksuckers. That's it. Go to me on these dot com right now and press in joey
In the box and get 20 off your first order. You're not going to be sorry
There's the shirt I wore yesterday the rash guard. That's a me on these shirt
People wear $10,000 for rash guard. I wore a me on these shirt. It contains the sweat
It's at home stinking like 10 dead fucking iranians, but hey
Go to me on these dot com and get a box into your house cut this shit
Also, if you're smoking vapors harrowing whatever you're smoking nailed it life dot com the best again
The best heaviest vapor pen on the market today if the coil burns out of something you call dave direct bam
You got a new one sent to your house. No fucking questions asked
Where do you get that type of customer service and sprint ain't gonna give you that
Bounce a check at bank of america. See how long it takes you to get a hindu on the phone
Call dave. He answers the phone within 10 minutes. Also the academy. We got martin wheeler teaching systema
We got fucking. Uh, what's his name teaching mma?
Uh, john louis john louis and and we got higgin machado
You get two free weeks when you mention joey d is two free weeks you go down there
Whether it's systema
Taekwondo where you just want to hang out with dave and talk about french recipes
Go down there right now to the academy of bevelly hills. They ain't fucking around two weeks for free
Tell dave uncle joey sent you and you'll be straight. All right, that's it. What the fuck else you want?
It's thursday, you know, I'm gonna tell you some for you fucking pussies
I don't know if you know this about america for you little pussies that are getting ready for fuck
It's trick or treat. We're going to a party. You're fucking faggot. Let me tell you what tonight was tonight's for fucking gangsters
Tonight's devil's night started in detroit. That's where the movie the crow came from
Devil's night is the night before that's the night. Hasidic jews don't even come out
Because they get bombarded with eggs and fucking flower bags right in jersey. How many eggs you throw in that stick?
Tonight you got eggs right now that have been under the bed since october one
You got a needle hole in them your whole house stinks like dead fucking something your mom's walking around. What is that smell?
You're like nothing mom not nothing under your bed those eggs are getting fermented right now tonight
You take socks you put flowers you take all the old shit that's in your house and you go to war
They used to kill people
On night tonight's devil's night. You got a sack. You would rock make eggs go raw and then throw them in an acidic juice
You don't know how bad it stinks. I think I have a 10 dead iranian. So when a juice smells like an iranian
He just starts fucking shaking his head and shit and it's fucking horrible
Trust me tonight's devil's night for all you pussies that are at home
Well tomorrow we're gonna do a grandma blow fuck you it starts tonight bitches devil's night tonight's tonight
When you see who the devil really is and you tell that motherfucker to suck your dick, you understand me?
Know a bowl in your future
That's it. What do you want to talk about?
Lee you're getting ready to go to a wedding you cop sucker. No more weddings for you. No, what's up with you?
I look good in the tux though. You don't fucking look good. I look amazing in the tux. Get the fuck out of here
What kind of what color tux? It's like darkish gray. I think
It looks nice. Did you get a fucking gel for your hairdo? I don't have hair
I'm gonna have to go get your hair cut after this. You gotta put some gel on your head to get a fake ponytail
So you're a director from Israel or some shit. Just a glue on ponytail. That's it
Who is a fuck and then those pull off like Steven Segal in that movie who shot bobby motherfucking lupo
I'll have to see who shot bobby lupo did you ever figure that out? You're not sure
I love you guys
This week next week starting the sixth. I'm in san francisco at the punchline
The week after that i'm in portland a helium hue Fitzgerald. Where can they find you?
For martial art classes advice anything. You're a fucking knowledgeable guy
budakonfilms.com is my blog updates on the documentary
Which i'm working on i'm real happy about how do you spell it b u d o k a n
f i l m s budakon film see budakon used to be big
But they don't make live albums then or more so nobody knows about budakon. That was a cheap trick
I think judas priest also made their album in budakon the one one i'm leasing these
But budakon don't like white people there somebody i caught with harrowing who got caught with somebody i caught with something in there
Must have been a guy from rolling stone rolling stones. Yeah, somebody from the rolling stone and then you're on twitter too
i'm on twitter and budakon 2006
And at the academy berkeley hills
Awesome. Yeah, I love you guys. Have a great weekend stay black. What are we closing with me?
I don't know. I'm a little snow blind by black sabbath. Let's fucking hit them. All right. Why fuck around you understand me
Stay black. I want to thank my sponsors on it nature box calm me on these calm and nailed it life
I want to give shout outs to everybody again. Jason. And it's not love you cock suckers
Have a great weekend. When you put up the live podcast league. I'm going to put it up
I think sunday night sunday after monday morning. There you go
So november starts off fucking beautiful for you
Don't forget to vote next week unless you got felonies stay home and mind your business because if you do the paperwork
Then they'll remember you have felonies then they'll be back on your ass and that bb gun you're walking around
What you're gonna go do time have a great weekend. Remember. We love you throw a kiss at these motherfuckers. You look at us
Lee
What's up buddy throw some jew fucking bad luck on them. Why am I not?
Shooter give gods and some love. All right. We love you cock suckers. Stay black and have a great weekend devil's night
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What you get what you see
Is it don't come easily
Big up in my bag
I see four hands in my brain
So be going in my head
With the vice and superman
There to be my very soul
Makes me happy makes me cold
So be going in my head
With the vice and superman
There to be my very soul
Makes me happy makes me cold
So be going in my head
With the vice and superman
There to be my very soul
So be going in my head
My eyes are blind but I can see
The snow place isn't on the tree
There's no longer sense to breathe
I feel there's no faith freezing me
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Let the wind just don't shine on
Let me feel the frost have gone
Feel my dream no place is now
See I'll be let you go
Don't you think I know what I'm doing
Don't tell me that it's true and it's wrong
You're the one that's really confusing
Don't you ever feel I belong
It's the world we've been to flowers
Turn my gaze to frozen hours
Light is still blind in the sun
My eyes ain't ever come
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh