Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - A'ja Wilson

Episode Date: November 7, 2020

A'ja Wilson, Power Forward for the Las Vegas Aces, joins us along with panelists Helen Hong, Maz Jobrani, and Dulcé Sloan.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Who needs a blue wave? Check out this Bill wave. Hello, I'm Bill Curtis. And here's your host, who is just six short of 270 anxiety attacks this week, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. And thanks once again to our fake audience, which this week are the exactly 73 Americans who just love cable news election coverage and always wished it could go on longer. Now, you know what the difference is between sports and politics? In sports, you know who won right away. So later on, we're going to be talking to WNBA League MVP,

Asia Wilson. But first, it's your turn to step up to the line and take your shots. Give us a call. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Now let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, I'm Molly and I'm from Indianapolis, Indiana. Hey, Molly, you're right next door. What do you do there in Indianapolis? I am an investigative paralegal for the Marion County Public Defender Agency. Ooh, how cool.

Yeah, it's pretty awesome. You sound like you could be the protagonist of a really good TV show. Well, I do like to watch those. What sort of things do you end up investigating as an investigative paralegal? Oh, God. Well, every day is different. I do major felonies, so murders and robberies and, you know, all kinds of stuff. So have you ever like have you ever like solved a case, proved that your client was innocent by finding the real murderer, that sort of thing? Me, personally, no. I'll leave that up to the attorneys. Well, you can dream.

Yeah. Well, Molly, let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, from The Daily Show, the movie Chick Fight, coming out November 13th in theaters and on demand, and her podcast, That Black-Ass Show, it's Dulce Sloan. Hello, friends. Hello. Next, a comedian you can see at the Tempe Improv, November 12th through the 14th, and here on his podcast, Back to School,

with Maz Jobrani. It's Maz Jobrani. Hello. Hi, Molly. I watch your show. And a comedian who could be seen in the CBS comedy The Unicorn, season one on Netflix, and host of the trivia

podcast Go Fact Yourself on the Maximum Fun Network. It's Helen Hong. Hi, Molly. Hi, everybody. Hey, Helen. Hey, Molly. You're going to play Who's Bill this time. Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you'll win

our prize, any voice from our show that you might choose in your voicemail. Are you ready to play? I am ready. Then let's do it. Now, we're going to start with two quotes that represent two completely opposing viewpoints. First, let's hear from a group of Republicans in Pennsylvania.

Stop the count. Now, here, in contrast, is a group of Republicans in Arizona. Count the votes. Those people were chanting amazingly about the same thing. What? Here, in contrast, is a group of Republicans in Arizona. Count the votes. Those people were chanting amazingly about the same thing. What? The presidential election. Of course, yes. You somehow knew. After a long week of passionate and ultimately confusing protests,

it now appears that Joe Biden will be the next president of the United States just as soon as someone can get Trump to admit it. The president tried to barricade himself on the White House roof, but he got winded, so now he is barricaded on the third step. This has been the most stressful week. It's been like a pregnancy test slash STD test slash bringing home a non-Korean boyfriend to your Korean parents. Like that, it all rolled into one. That has been this week. I don't know.

I mean, I'm sure my mother's always been disappointed when I brought home a non-Korean boyfriend. Listen, it's these, it's, first of all, these posters need to like, that whole industry's got to to go away because I kept watching it go and I don't trust the numbers. I don't trust the numbers. And as you said, it was even more disappointing when I knew I wasn't going to trust them. But then it came out and election night I was like, who – I would be so ashamed to tell someone I'm a pollster. They're so off. I don't know why they get it so wrong. a pollster i they they're so off i don't know why they get it so wrong it is true though that that like in 2016 the polls got it wrong so the pollsters were like okay we're gonna we're gonna

reevaluate our methods we're gonna fix what went wrong we're gonna absolutely get it right this time and they got it wrong again it is a huge embarrassment nate silver was demoted to nate bronze one theory one theory is that, and I don't know if it's true, is that this phenomenon of shy Trump voters is real, that there were these people

who wouldn't tell pollsters they were voting for Donald Trump because they're just, they don't want to come out in public. But it's like, guys, we know the way you block traffic and your pickup trucks

flying the huge Trump flags, it's a tell. It is, I'm sorry, I i will say helen don't laugh it is a common problem for men some men just can't be racist if someone is watching them oh they definitely can you know i just figured out why his kids want him so badly to win because they know the attention is going to go back on them. Oh, yeah. They're like, come on, you guys, you know how you've had to deal with this crap for four years? That's been our whole lives.

We've got four years to just kind of deflect and be like, yeah, I'm running the business. Now he's going to go back and be like, what have you been up to, Dumbo? Hey, do you guys remember when Al Gore lost his race for the presidency 20 years ago? He grew a beard. Do you think Trump's going to do that? Can you imagine what's on the top of his head growing on the bottom of his head? That man's lasered all of that off. He's had so much work done.

There's no hair follicles on his face. All right, Molly, here is your next quote. Florida, how the hell did Montana and South Dakota get it before us? That was a Floridian on Twitter reacting to the news that this week, How the hell did Montana and South Dakota get it before us? That was a Floridian on Twitter reacting to the news that this week several states voted to do what? Legalize marijuana or psychedelic drugs. You are absolutely on it, Molly. I'd ask you that name, you would be.

Yes, legalize drugs. And it's not just weed anymore. As you said, Argan, which legalized psychedelic mushrooms and decriminalized all drugs, including heroin and cocaine. Now, of course, I should say the magic mushrooms in Argan are all medicinal. So it's like, doctor, I need this lamppost to look more like Jesus. What do you prescribe? Maybe there's something to this idea of defund the police. Because if you take that money and just buy mushrooms, and any time you got trouble, you just show up and give the person mushrooms. I think the problem just solves itself, doesn't it? Exactly. They just kind of wander off, wander away.

They won't burn anything down. They'll stand in front of buildings and go, is that on fire? People love drugs. So if they've decriminalized all of the drugs and organs, because I've always been annoyed by the term bud tenders that they use in weed, like in dispensaries, because I was like, this is pretentious and stupid. But if they decriminalize everything and they start selling cocaine at places, then they're going to be blow tenders? I'm very excited.

All right. Molly, we have one last quote for you. Here it is. Can Thanksgiving still be Thanksgiving without it? That was journalist Amy Leavitt wondering whether we can still call it Thanksgiving if no one is going to eat what? Turkey. Yes, turkey. Coronavirus, of course, means we probably are not getting together for Thanksgiving, which means nobody is going to be eating turkeys, which means the country is now in the middle of a huge turkey surplus. How can you even have a holiday without the totally normal practice of eating cubes of bread?

We've stuffed up the butt of a bird carcass. Okay, first and foremost, my people do dressing. We don't put nothing up. Nothing up the cavity. Only thing that goes in there is an onion, some carrots, and some herbs. Nothing to scoop back out to eat. We are Christians. Nope, we don't do that.

Also, turkey was never that good anyway. If Thanksgiving didn't exist, we wouldn't be eating this peacock knockoff anyway. Well, that's the thing. That's the thing, because they've got all these turkeys, right? And they grow the turkeys to these enormous sizes. And now no one's going to buy them. So now they have all these turkeys. Now, one thing they could do to them, do with them, is they could send them to the states that just legalize drugs.

It's like that's the only way people will ever eat turkey. If you thought your mouth was dry before, dude, take a bite of this. And so the turkey farmers are trying to figure out something else to do with the birds that might maybe sell turkey parts or turkey leather. Listen, the thing with that, first of all, if another wave comes from the coronavirus, there might be toilet paper shortage. So maybe they can turn the turkeys into toilet paper, toilet paper turkeys. Just keep on buying the toilet.

They're covered with feathers. I'm just saying. I don't know. I'm trying to find a solution for the turkeys. And secondly, Dulce, I totally agree with you. I'm Iranian. My wife is Indian. Every Thanksgiving, we have Persian food, Indian food.

Nobody touches the turkey. Yeah. Why would you touch? You have 4,000 years of cuisine. Turkey is the only food they actually got to put food inside just in case you don't like the turkey. You get that food inside. So, you know, this is true. Another problem for turkey farmers, COVID led to the cancellation of all the Renaissance fairs this summer.

And that, of course, eliminated the business for giant turkey legs. What do they do with the rest of that turkey when they take the legs off them things? Do they turn them into lunch meat? No, that's why you see a bunch of turkeys limping around. You're like, oh, they took that one leg. That was a Red Fair turkey. Bill, Bill, how did Molly do in our quiz?

Molly gave us a correct answer for every question we had. Thank you, Molly. Well deduced. Thank you guys so much. It was a pleasure. Congratulations. Take care. Thank you. Bye. Thank you, Molly. Well deduced. Thank you guys so much. It was a pleasure. Congratulations. Take care. Thank you. Bye. Bye-bye. Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Maz, a man in Florida has invented a wonderful new robot that can do a daily task for you. What is the task? It holds your hand. No, I wish.

That'd be nice. Something that most people do first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Brush. No, not quite. It's something you put in in the morning and take out at night. Oh, contact lenses. Yes, exactly.

It's a robot for putting on your contact lenses. What? The idea is you simply bend down and you put your eye onto this machine and it raises the contact lens and places it gently and then one day we presume, quite forcefully, into your eye. It's a total game changer for people who both hate to touch their own eyes but don't mind being violently blinded by a machine.

Is it called the Larry Curly and Moe bot? No, no, no. No, no, the device uses suction cups to insert and remove lenses from the surface of your eyeballs. You know, just like in a nightmare. Do you see what I see? Or is the whole damn

world just crazy to me? Do you see what I see? Coming up, our panelists count that vote in our Bluff the Listener game called 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. After months of campaigning, we are finally on the cusp of knowing what happens next in the White House and in the halls of Congress.

The NPR Politics Podcast will be there with you every day with the latest results and will tell you what you need to know in these uncertain times. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Helen Hong, Dulce Sloan, and Maz Jobrani. And here again is your host, who CNN is now projecting to be too close to call, Peter Sagan. Thank you, Bill. Right now, it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me bluff, the listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air. Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Beth Grimes from Tucson, Arizona.

Hey, how are things in Tucson, Beth? Things are hot. I just moved down here from Flagstaff, and I'm not really feeling it right now, so... Oh, yeah, Flagstaff, which if people haven't been there, is this beautiful town, but it's very high, so it's not as hot as the rest of Arizona. Yeah, it's a big difference. Well, Tucson is actually one of my favorite places, so you were lucky. There's beautiful deserts and mountains, and if you need to, it's relatively easy to flee to the border.

This is true. Beth, welcome to our show. You're going to play the game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Beth's topic? Stand up and probably be counted. We're not the only ones in the world voting this week. We are just the worst at it. Our panelists are going to tell you about another election that happened that you may or may not have heard about. Pick the real one. You'll win our prize, the weight-waiter of your choice on your voicemail. Are you ready to play? Absolutely.

All right. First, let's hear from Maz Jobrani. In 2016, when Konstantin Petrescu ran for governor in the region of Transylvania in Romania, no one knew who he was. Given his low profile and his lack of support, he lost in a landslide. Four years later, he tried to run again, but was told that election losers must wait 10 years before they can re-enter the race. So Petrescu found a loophole and ran his deceased great-great-grandfather, who is possibly the most famous Transylvanian of all time, Count Dracula. And he won! Election officials didn't know about the loophole in the law, which doesn't designate

that you actually have to be alive to contend in an election. Says Petrescu, Most places indicate age limits on how young or old you have to be to run for office, but in Transylvania, election guide does not specify. So you could be one, two, three, four, five,

or dead. The count got an overwhelming victory, beating his opponents with 85% of the total votes. Most people claim they were so fed up with the corruption in Transylvanian politics that they felt voting for a dead famous person couldn't make things any worse.

Now that the Count is the governor, the question remains if official business will have to be handled after sunset but before sunrise. Dracula himself, or his remains, gets elected to office in Transylvania. Your next story of an election elsewhere comes from Helen Hong. There is no shortage of drama taking place amongst lovers of the belly-bearing half-shirts known as crop tops. The unofficial national association known as Crop Top Life United

voted this week to allow full-length tops at their monthly gatherings or crop top-a-thons. The move is enraging some diehard crop toppers. Are you freaking kidding me? Complained one longtime member wearing a loose t-shirt sheared to just under his armpits. The whole reason why I joined Crop Top Life United was to be around people like me who hate long-ass shirts. Now we're letting long-ass shirts join the club? The proposal to allow, quote, longs at the monthly gatherings was put forward by the group's secretary treasurer, Raquel Sanchez.

Sometimes it's just too darn cold to have my belly button out, she stated. A handful of outraged midriff bearers is considering cutting off from the group and starting a new organization tentatively named Keep It Short For Real. The National Association of Crop Top Wearers decides in an election to allow in full length tops. Your last story of voting variation comes from Dulce Sloan. Everyone loves a rags to riches story. But what about rags to a political position? That is exactly what happened to Marina Yudovskaya, a woman who works at City Hall in the small Russian town of Polovkino.

The incumbent mayor, Nikolai Lotov, was running for re-election and needed an opponent to give the illusion that the election was fair. But he couldn't find anyone to run against him, so he found a last resort. A choice that usually lives in the realm of 80 sitcoms. Allah, who's the boss? He asked the cleaning lady. But democracy came a bit low top in the ass when Yudovskaya won. She didn't even campaign. The people in the town just knew who she was and they kind of liked her.

And she only agreed to run to help her boss. Now her salary has doubled to 29,000 ruples or $380 a month. And her first duty as mayor is to find a new cleaning lady. All right. Here are your choices of an interesting election that we heard about this week. Was it from Maz Jobrani, the corpse of Dracula himself, elected to office in lieu of his descendant who couldn't win as a living person, from Helen Hong, the group that celebrates crop tops voting to allow in people

who like to cover their navels with full-length tops, or from Dulce Sloan, a cleaning lady picked to be the losing candidate in a mayoral election in Russia actually wins it. Which of these was the real story of an election we found in the news this week? I'm going to have to go with Dulce's story. Of the Russian election? Yes. All right. Your choice is Dulce's story of the election in Russia that was won by the patsy who was chosen just to put on a show.

Well, to bring you the correct answer, we spoke to a reporter who covered the real story. He expected to win this election by appointing his cleaning lady to be the fake opposition in an election. And she won the election. That was Andrew Kramer. He's a reporter for The New York Times in Moscow, Russia. And indeed, you got it right. Of course, Dulce was telling the truth, because in Russia, cleaning lady wins. I'm sorry, that was terrible. Nonetheless, you have won. You've won our prize. You've won a point for Dulce, and you get to choose any voice from the show you might like

on your voicemail. Congratulations. Thank you. Beth, thank you so much for giving us a call and playing. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. And now the game where people who are very good at one thing are asked to try their hand at something else. It's called Not My Job. The WNBA may have played this year in a bubble, but even a bubble could not contain Asia Wilson. She is the league MVP. She's called by some the greatest woman to ever play the game. She's a forward for the Las Vegas Aces. That's one group in Nevada that knows how to count up a score quickly. Asia Wilson, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you so much for having me. Well, congratulations, first of all, on an amazing season and your MVP award. That's pretty great. Yeah, thank you. It was actually a surprise. I was crying my eyes out, and I normally don't,

but it was definitely a good point of my season. So I want to ask, you guys in the WNBA, you had your own bubble. It was in Bradenton, Florida, right? Yeah, we were at IMG Academy, and we were actually on campus with the students as well. So it was kind of like a bubble, yes, but then at the same time, you have kids going to school and things like that. So it was pretty, it brought me back to college. But at the end of the day, I really miss my puppies. I miss my

family and my boyfriend. It was so hard not having them come to the bubble, but yeah, it was definitely just like a different kind of feel. When I got out of the bubble, my boyfriend kind of treated me like I was in prison. It's just like, you know, going to Chick-fil-a you can use the credit card like wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute you spent I don't know how many weeks isolated away from him and his idea of like a romantic reunion dinner is Chick-fil-a yeah it was just he knew that's what I wanted so bad like I just sure I can see that you've been an elite athlete playing to huge crowds for a very long time so it must have been really weird to play in front of nobody. Am I right?

Yes, very weird. Actually, it was probably one of the worst things. It didn't really play in my favor because the refs can now hear what you have to say. Oh, no. So after I made a bucket, I was like, eh, f*** one. And then the refs were just like, okay, I hear you now. So here we go. Did they seem shocked that they had no idea? They like asia have you always been like this and it was in like game five like

it was just like elimination game like winner go home so like the stakes are high emotions flying and all of a sudden like i get teed up and i'm just like excuse me like that is my paycheck you're taking out of i'm here for three months you're gonna mad at me because i cussed on the court doing something that i'm passionate about so yeah i missed the crowd in that one is that nba wmba like what other leagues i've seen them all cuss the coaches cuss that's what i'm saying and i'm just like and i thought my parents were i was like okay maybe kids are watching and kind of heard me say it but no my mom was like what did you say i was just like so you guys couldn't hear it. All right.

Is this sexism? I think it is. It's insane, man. Yeah, because the boys can cuss, but the girls can't. They pay you a fraction of what they pay the men, and you're not even allowed to swear about it? Okay, I'm mad. Yeah, Steve.

That's why I was like, ooh, I miss the crowds, because that way they don't hear me. But yeah, they were all up in our group. That's certified nonsense. That is ridiculous. You're a professional athlete. It's not like you're somebody on an NPR show. Yeah, me cussing would be ridiculous.

Like, oh, I love the effing news. Like, no. That's not fair. So I always assume whenever I'm lucky enough to talk to somebody at your level that you were always good at basketball. I know your father played ball, right? Well, yeah. Yeah, I wouldn't necessarily say that I was always good. I was the young girl on the end of the bench that uniform was falling off of her.

I had to hold my socks up with rubber bands because I was so skinny. And my dad was my coach, so I knew I was not good at basketball when my own father wouldn't play me. Wait a minute. So you were on a team as a kid. Your father was the coach, and he didn't put you in? Yeah, exactly. Sounds like your dad wanted to win, yo. Right, winning over his daughter.

I did it. It helped me because I was like, okay, I got to earn my dad's trust right now. At least her dad was coaching because I actually, my daughter was playing in a league when she was seven, and it was the most entertaining thing in the world because, first of all, they go in the wrong direction. They're hugging each other. And one of the best parts was the referee was this blonde lady with the big afro, and she was wearing the referee outfit.

And the kid looked at her and goes, why are you dressed like a clown? Because she thought she was a clown. Technical foul on your kid, I assume. I heard this, and I just have to ask you if it's true, that your first name is Aja, A-J-A. Is it true that you were named after the Steely Dan record? I was, yeah. That was my dad's favorite song.

He would always play it, and he told my mom, if he were to ever have a daughter, he would name her Aja. And when I was born, my dad was like, okay, is how does it go could you just I don't I'm not familiar um up on a hill the song goes. I'm like, oh yeah, you say my name. Just start pushing out and dance. Well, Asia Wilson, it is really great to talk to you, but we have in fact invited you here to play a game

we're calling. Please take a number and stand in line. So you're the MVP, so we were wondering what you might know about the DMV, the office where we are all forced to spend time if we want to drive. Answer two out of three questions correctly. You'll win a prize for one of our listeners, the voice of anyone they might choose in their voicemail.

Bill, who is Asia Wilson playing for? Andrew Dunn of Boston, Massachusetts. All right. You ready for this? Yes. Just before we get into this, do you think of yourself, sometimes athletes say no, as a very competitive person? Very, yes. Okay. I just thought we'd into this do you think of yourself sometimes athletes say no as a very competitive person there yes okay i just thought we'd establish that here we go here's your first

question a man trying to register his car in new england after moving there from new mexico ran into some serious resistance at his local dmv why a they refused to believe that there ever was a car make called Datsun. B, the DMV official said, we don't register cars from foreign countries. Or C, the clerk said, wait a minute, New Mexico? You're Walter White fleeing justice, aren't you? I hate you. I'm going to go with A.

You're going to go with A, that they refused to believe there ever was a car called a Datsun. Yes. It was actually B. In order to register his car, he says, somebody had to go get a road atlas and show the people that, yes, New Mexico is in fact a state in the United States. All right. It's okay.

You have two more chances. I love how competitive she is. She just might cuss. Cuss. Cuss. Cuss. It's public radio. They don might cuss. Cuss. Cuss. Cuss. It's public radio. They don't ever have to pay for the bleeps.

They got a whole bleep account that they've never used. Cuss. Bleep. Wait a minute. Dulce thinks we have a box of bleeps somewhere we've never had to use because nobody swears on public radio. It costs money, but nobody ever cusses on public radio. Asia, this is your time to shine, friend. All right, you still have two more chances you can win this thing. Here is your next question. The DMV is where you go to get vanity plates,

which have gotten some people into trouble, like which of these? A, a California man who got a vanity plate that says null, N-U-L-L, and as a result, he gets sent every ticket when the traffic cop forgets to write in the license number. B, an Illinois woman who has caused 14 accidents with her plate. Look B, hind U. Or C, a Utah man who was caught having an affair when his wife saw his cheatin' heart vanity plate in the parking lot of a motel. I have to get one of these. I honestly have never seen anyone worry as much about this as you are right now.

You're actually, you're hyperventilating a little. You're sweating. I am sweating. Okay, can I ask? There's a reason why she's the MVP, Peter. Apparently, this is the passion and intensity she brings to every competition. I can see it now.

Oh, God. Give her A and B again. What's A and B again? A and B is the California man. He got null, N-U-L-L. I'm liking the null because every time you put an A, it forgets it because it's null. Right.

You're going to choose that? Yes. Yes, you're right. Very good. You got that one. Yes. We were all sweating. We were all sweating for you.

It's contagious, man. I'm sweating for you. This is very exciting. I'm actually pal's contagious, man. This is very exciting. I'm actually palpitating a little. This is very intense. All right, last question. Some of the stereotypes about the DMV apparently have some truth to them,

as in which of these cases? A, a survey at a Michigan DMV office found that 30% of the people there sincerely believed that they had died and gone to hell. B, an investigation by the Chicago Sun-Times showed that all the computers in the Illinois DMV aren't even turned on and employees just pretend to type in things all day. Or C, a state audit found one employee at a California DMV slept on the job for three hours a day, every day

for four years. Oh my gosh. C! Yes! Yes! for four years. Oh my gosh. See? Yes! Yes, Asia! That is right! Turns out that woman ended up being paid for 2,200 hours of sleeping. Wow. Honest to God,

this was like the most intense competitive event I've been a witness to for years. I have sweat in my bra. I'm like, I can't. Oh my God, I'm like, I can't. I'm so happy I got to do that. Bill, how did Asia do in her quiz? She won with two out of three, and she is our most valuable player. I got to ask, you again are an elite athlete.

You have been for most of your life. Is this how you always are at competitions? Trying to cool yourself down? Yeah, I really started like overheating. It's crazy. Asia, when you play like any board games and stuff, you get this worked up at board games and chess and all that? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Even when I'm playing Uno with my boyfriend, I'm like, the cards are sticking to my hand. I'm like, oh my gosh. Please tell me you trash talk your boyfriend during games of Uno. Oh yeah, all the time. Asia Wilson is a

forward for the Las Vegas Aces of the WNBA and she was the MVP of that league for 2020. She's also the founder of the Asia Wilson Foundation. More information at ajawilsonfoundation.org. Asia Wilson, what an absolute joy to talk to you.

You're a delight. Thank you so much for being with us. You're the best. Thank you for having me. In just a minute, you'll be positively glowing in our listener limerick challenge game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. On the next episode of Louder Than a Riot, Bobby Shmurda's transition from the streets to superstardom and how viral fame led to infamy.

I don't ask people from the hood if they got criminal activity going on. I know in hip-hop, the badder the better. Listen now to Louder Than a Riot from NPR Music. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Dulce Sloan, Buzz Jobrani, and Helen Hong. And here again is your host. Joining us now by mail-in hosting, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. In just a minute,

Bill reveals his favorite quadrilateral is the rhimbus. It's our listener limerick challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call. 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, a panel of some more questions for you from the week's news. Dulce, with a raging pandemic and the tension of a presidential election, more and more people are turning to what substance to help them cope? Alcohol. No, not alcohol.

Can I have a hint? Yes, it's not shaken or stirred, more salted or unsalted. Butter! Yes, butter! Land O'Lakes Dairy Company is reporting record sales in butter in 2020. 300 million pounds, 299 million of those pounds, of course, people stress ate since Tuesday. And the butter boom, as expected, has naturally led to butt booms. I contributed to this butter craze because, like, before the last month, I claimed to be non-dairy. You claimed that.

You claimed that. Now I'm just eating sticks of butter. That's exactly right. I'm just licking whole sticks of butter to comfort myself during this anxiety riddled time i don't use butter that i usually like use more oil when i cook but i uh was making something today and i realized that you know how landa lakes they took the native american woman off they did the maiden is no longer the butter that i have has her on there so i'm'm like, should I keep this? Listen, this is going to be my children's inheritance. They're going to get on

Antiques Roadshow and be like, listen, we have racist paraphernalia and they're going to give my kids $12 million. Helen, a county official in Wisconsin has apologized after using what to promote

a new weatherization assistance program. Weatherization assistance. So is this weather related? No. Can you give me a hint? I kind of did when I said weatherization assistance program. Weatherization assistance program. Honey!

Weather assistance program. Weatherization. Or me! Weather assistance program. Oh! A WAP? Yes! He used the song and video WAP or W-A-P to promote this program. Wow! That of course is the song

by Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion. That's of course, is the song by Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion. That's, of course, the very explicit song and even more explicit video that has scandalized everybody my age. Milwaukee County Supervisor and Certified Freak, seven days a week, Ryan because if you listen carefully, the song is not at all about covering up holes. Did he know when he was using the song what WAP actually stands for? I think even the most dense of us, and by which I mean me, figure out what WAP stands for. I think in the first 10 seconds of the song, he has apologized. He says he realizes now it was inappropriate.

But it does give you a good answer when your mom asks you what WAP stands for. I remember the first time I heard that song, I was like, I love Megan Thee Stallion. I love Cardi B. But I was listening going i'm not old enough to listen to the song i i was too old to listen to it i instantly i instantly instantly i became john lith fill in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT.

That's 1-888-924-8924. Or you can click the Contact Us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. You can also check out our Wait, Wait quiz for your smart speaker, because if Jeffrey Toobin can have fun all by himself, so can you. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Leah Honey calling from Houston, Texas. Hey, Leah, how are you? I'm doing okay.

And so what do you do there in Houston? I am a flight controller for the International Space Station here for NASA. Get out. What? Yes. I get to help the astronauts figure out how to fix things when things break up there. What? You really?

That's so cool. So when they say, Houston, we got a problem, that's you. That's me. I'm part of it. It's a big team. Wow. Can you give me an example of the sort of problem that the astronauts called down with and you had to fix? Well, my group is responsible for the toilet.

So we get a lot of those calls because they want to fix that thing fast when it breaks. Oh, no. Wow. So you are basically an interstellar plumber. Pretty much. Don't accept that, Leah. Don't accept that, Leah. Don't accept that, Leah. You didn't go to all them schools and get all of them degrees to be known as an intergalactic plumber.

Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. She is a sanitation engineer. Well, Leah, it's kind of an honor to talk to you. I've never spoken to people who fix toilets on space stations before. This is pretty awesome. But you're here to play the Listener Limerick Challenge. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each.

If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly into the limerick, she'll be a big winner. You ready to play? I hope so. All right. Here is your first limerick. Of the platypus, one thing I know. They lay eggs, but to mammals they grow.

But now here's a write-up that they also light up. Just turn off the light and they... Glow? Yes, glow! This week, we learned that nature's biggest freak is even freakier. New research shows that the fur of the platypus grows green and blue under UV light. They theorize that the glow might help these nocturnal animals in low-light conditions, such as raves. Now, last year, this same team of researchers discovered biofluorescence in flying squirrels.

Yet another triumph for the Northland College Department of Shining a Black Light on Everything. There should be a house music DJ named Platypus. Do we have that or no? DJ Platypus! Everybody glow! Okay, Leah, here is your next limerick. In dinosaur days, rodents struggled. As running and hiding, they juggled.

Exhaustion was thorough. So back in the burrow, they all got real close. And they... They snuggled! They snuggled, exactly right. Scientists are thrilled by a new discovery of ancient fossils that show rodents cuddling. It's so cute to think of all these little ancient mice snuggled together until you look at the picture and remember, that's what they were doing when they were murdered by dirt. The discovery of these rodents snuggling in groups from two to five has been called a

game changer by experts and an orgy by people who are way too into this. It gives scientists rare insight into the social behavior of these ancient animals. But can you imagine if you were found fossilized in your sleeping position in about 75 million years? Why, this specimen appears to have fallen asleep watching Cupcake Wars, wearing what looks like underpants from 1997. You know, they're trying to make mice cute like the cartoons

did, and I don't know if you've seen mice in person or rats in the subway. They're just not cute. It's so funny because this is like so cute when it's a fossil, so horrifying when it's in your bread drawer. Alright, Leah, we have one more limerick for you. Here it is.

While her husband's off pulling a plow, it is messy I'm holding tight now. I got stressed by the news. She caressed me with moose. To calm down, I am hugging a... Cow! Yes! A cow! An animal rescue in Arizona

has several cows available for hugging, which is why it took them so long to count their votes. Just be careful about that one cow who walks up to you and says, Hey, watch out! I'm a hugger! Proponents of cow hugging, which started in the Netherlands, say that it's an amazing stress reliever. It releases oxytocin in the brain.

It reduces anxiety. It's also a great way to do that other stress-relaxing thing, imagining eating a cheeseburger. Oh. Hey, did you guys hear this past week about the Emotional Support Canadians? No. Please tell me about emotional support Canadians. Oh my gosh, there was a meme going around that someone was like, hey, emotional support Canadians are available

to you Americans this week because we know you're going through it. Right. And I was like, ah, which Canadian though? And that's how I feel about this cow business. Like, how cute is this cow? What if it's baby cows? I don't know about a whole cow. That seems like, listen cute is this cow? What if it's baby cows? I don't know about a whole cow.

That seems like, listen, is there any way that y'all could just dispatch a man to me? That would be way more helpful than some heifer. Bill, how did Leah do in our quiz? Houston, Leah has no problem. She got them all right. Well, congratulations, Leah. Thank you so much. It's been fun.

Leah, thank you so much. Thanks, Leah. Keep the station flying. Will do. Bye-bye. Hey, it's time for our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points.

Bill, can you please give us the scores? Helen has one, Maz has two, and Dulce has three. Ha-ha! All right, well, that makes it very easy. Helen, you're in third place. You'll be up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, daily blank cases in the U.S.

exceeded 100,000 for the first time. COVID-19. Yes. On Thursday, social media site Blank shut down a group attempting to destabilize the vote counting process. Facebook? Right. This week, the FBI said they would investigate

Trump supporters in Texas who surrounded Joe Biden's Blank. Campaign Facebook? Right. This week, the FBI said they would investigate Trump supporters in Texas who surrounded Joe Biden's blank. Campaign bus. Right. Reverend Raphael Warnock and Senator Kelly Loeffler are headed to a runoff in the state of blank. Georgia. Yes. This week, an Idaho man was fined for cooking chicken in a blank. A chicken in a bowl just made for turkeys. No, in a hot spring at Yellowstone National Park. Eww! I know. Following weeks of protests, blank has stalled the implementation of their nationwide abortion ban. Oh, Poland. Right. During a hearing on Wednesday, the U.S. Postal Service said it did what it could to find

missing blanks. Ballots. Yes. This week, two kayakers in California had their whale-watching tour interrupted when a humpback whale blanks. Ballots. Yes. This week, two kayakers in California had their whale-watching tour interrupted when a humpback whale blanked. Like ran into them. Like upended them. No, even worse, ate them and then spit them out. They died? No, they're fine. The two women were riding

directly over the whale when it opened its giant mouth and tried to eat them. Fortunately, this was one of those kayaker tasting events where you just swish them around in your mouth a bit before spitting them into a bucket. The woman emerged completely unharmed, which is wonderful because if the whale swallowed them, they would have had to wait for their marionette son to come rescue them. Bill, how did Helen do in our quiz? She had six right. For 12 more points, she now has 13 and the lead.

Well done, Helen. All right. I believe Maz is next. Here we go, Maz. Fill in the blank. This week, Senator Blank won re-election in Maine, a state Democrats had hoped to flip. Collins. Yes, Susan Collins. This week, Puerto Rico voted narrowly in support of becoming

a blank. State. Right. On Thursday, video streaming site Blank said they would leave up a video falsely claiming that Trump won the election. YouTube? Yeah. This week, a Michigan CBS affiliate apologized after a graphic mistakenly reminded people to blank last weekend.

Vote. No. It was supposed to tell them to turn their clocks back, but they forgot the letter L in clocks. On Thursday, private space company Blank launched a GPS satellite into orbit. SpaceX. Right. Best known for portraying James Bond,

Scottish actor Blank passed away at the age of 90. Sean Connery. Right. During coverage of the vote count in Georgia, ABC News featured video of voters in Blank. In Florida. No, in Georgia, but it was the Republic of Georgia. While talking about voting in Atlanta, the capital of Georgia, ABC News cut to a clip of people standing in line outside a school in Tbilisi, which, to be fair, is also the capital of Georgia.

Even worse, ABC had to cut back to Tbilisi when hundreds of Trump voters traveled 6,000 miles to chant Stop the Count at a bunch of confused Georgians. Bill, how did Maz do in our quiz? Maz had five right for 10 more points. He now has 12. But remember, Helen still has the lead with 13. All right, then. How many, then, does Dulce need to win? Dulce needs five to tie and six to win.

All right. Here we go, Dulce. This is for the game. According to reports, around 60,000 Americans voted for blank for president. Kanye West? Right. On Thursday, the U.N. rebuked Israel for demolishing 76 Palestinian homes in the blank. The West Bank?

Yes. After they called the election for Arizona, a group of Trump supporters in Maricopa County began chanting, Blank sucks. Biden sucks? No, Fox News sucks. This week, the CDC gave cruises the go-ahead to set sail again, but they said that blank will not be allowed on board. Food?

No, passengers. According to a report, Prince William of Great Britain had a serious case of blank in April. Cancer? No, COVID-19. This week, soccer star Mesut Ozil was caught going 97 miles per hour down a British highway. But he told officers it was only because blank. It was an emergency. No, it was only because he thought his speedometer was in kilometers.

Now, the argument kind of makes sense. Ozil is from Germany where all speedometers are in kilometers. Now the argument kind of makes sense. Ozil is from Germany where all speedometers are in kilometers plus in Germany going 97 miles per hour on the highway is the slow lane. The athlete has pleaded guilty and is hoping for a fine rather than a suspension because he says he needs his car every day. But that might not be the best thing to say when you just tried to get out of a ticket by claiming I don't know what all these numbers on the dashboard mean. Bill, did Dulce do well enough to win? Well, she had two right for four more points. She now has seven, which means with 13, Helen is this week's champion. There you go. I demand a recount. I demand a recount. Stop the counts. In just a minute,

we're going to ask our panelists to predict, now that shrooms are legal in Oregon, what will be the next thing a state will legalize. But first, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions' Doug Berman Benevolent Overlord. Philip Godeka writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman.

Our house manager is Gianna Capodona. Our intern is Darius Cook. Our web guru is Beth Novy. BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Ismael Lutfi. Our map guy is Peter Gwynn. Technical

direction is from Lorna White. Our business and ops manager is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilog, and the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mike Danforth. Now, panel, what will be the next thing a state will legalize? Helen Hong. California and New York will both legalize bringing an emotional support Canadian to the polls next election. Maz Jo Brunner.

Now that something as fun as psychedelic mushrooms is legal, the next thing to be legalized will be the practice of walking your dog naked. So when they poop, so can you. Dulce Sloan. Mobile, Alabama's longtime ban on silly string and confetti will be repealed. We all need a little fun nowadays and nothing like picking tiny bits of paper and rubber out of your hair to have a good time. Well, if that happens, we're going to ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thanks, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Helen Hong, Maz Jobrani, Dulce Sloan, and thanks to all of you for listening. It was a stressful week. We got through it together. We'll do that again next week. I'm Peter Sagal. We'll see you then. This is NPR.