Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - Brook and Robin Lopez

Episode Date: November 20, 2021

Brook and Robin Lopez, twin brothers playing in the NBA, play our game called "Lopez's Meet the Low Prezzes," Three questions about the shortest US Presidents. They are joined by panelists Hari Kondabolu, Adam Felber and Atsuko Okatsuka.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Hey there, nerds. I'm a non-fungible token, Bill Curtis. And here's your host, replacing Peter Sagal after his surprise firing. Oops, this is a bit awkward. That's next week's intro. Here's your current host, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. And thanks to everybody listening quietly and attentively at home. This weekend in Milwaukee, identical twin NBA stars Robin and Brooke Lopez will be going up against each other on the court. But first, they will be going up against each other on the court, but first they will be going up against our Not My Job quiz a little later on. First, though,

it's your turn to tear off your sweats and take the floor. The number to call is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Samuel calling from Nazareth, Pennsylvania. Hey, Sam, where is Nazareth exactly? It's about two hours north of Philly or six hours, depending on traffic. I understand. It can go either way. It can go, you need divine intervention. What do you do there?

I'm a graduate student at Lehigh University getting my PhD in American history. Really? Let me ask you a question. As a scholar of American history, have things ever been as nuts as they are now, or is this all new? They've been nuts, just a different kind of nuts. Great. You're saying so, like if, you know, for example, Martin Van Buren might have had Twitter, things could have been just as lunatic back then. Oh, he would have been a great person to have on Twitter. He'd be so entertaining. He would have been a great person to have on Twitter.

He'd be so entertaining. He was known for being pithy and provocative, our Martin Van Buren. Well, Sam, welcome to the show. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, his new book, With Charles Band, Confessions of a Puppet Master, a Hollywood memoir of ghouls, guts, and gonzo filmmaking, is out this very week. It's Adam Felber. Hi, Sammy from Naz. How are you? Doing well. Thank you.

Next, his Netflix special is Warn Your Relatives, and his documentary The Problem with Apu, that's on HBO Max, is Hari Kondabolu. Hey, Sam. How are you? Hello. And finally, making her debut on our show, well, she just had her late-night debut in the Late Late Show with James Corden. Her album, But I Control Me with Comedy Dynamics is out now.

Please welcome Otsuka Okotsuka. Hey, it's so great to be here. I'm a lady of debuts and hello, Sam. Hello. Well, welcome to the show, Sam. You're going to play Who's Bill this time. Bill Curtis, of course, is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you'll win our prize. Any voice from our show, you might choose on your voicemail. Are you ready to go? I'm ready. Well, let's do it then. Your first quote is an official statement from the White House. The president does not consider him a friend. That was Deputy Press Secretary Andrew Bates

reassuring all fans of global tension that despite their virtual meeting this week, President Biden does not consider the leader of what country to be a friend. Oh, that would be China. You're right, Sam. It's China. President Biden and Xi Jinping of China had their first summit meeting this week. And of course, it was over Zoom. You may wonder if world leader Zoom is the same as the kind we use. And it is, except in addition to the leave meeting button, there's one that says start war. And yes, the same things happened to them that happened to us. You're muted, Mr. President.

They almost had an international incident because she laughed at something serious Biden had said. It turns out she was just looking at TikTok. And this was so adorable. serious. Biden had said it turns out she was just looking at TikTok. And this was so adorable. At one point, little Hunter Biden burst into the room behind the president to brag about selling another one of his paintings. Biden's like, not now, Hunter, not now, you know. You know, because of one of the mishaps, Biden's nickname in China is now accidental antlers. I mean, the best thing about it being on Zoom is that after Biden says something either terribly awkward or racist, you can just say, oh, there's been an issue with the connections. Sorry about that.

It was convivial. At one point, Xi Jinping referred to Biden as an old friend, a statement which is 50 percent true. Now, this is true, though. These two men do have a lot in common for example xi jinping just had himself declared a giant of chinese history by his own government along with mao and biden just got his second best grandpa ever coffee mug yeah and uh uh she owns a lot of um uh ming dynasty uh paraphernalia, and Biden was there. Exactly. Good bunch of guys.

Good bunch of guys. Him being, this is tricky. So is it ageist if you're making fun of the president, or is it just political? I don't know. It's like, we can say whatever. I mean, he's the president, right? It's fair game, right? Exactly.

I like to stay out of it for Peter's sake. I respect my elders. Yeah, no, you absolutely aren't allowed to make fun of it for Peter's sake. I respect my elders. Yeah, no, you absolutely aren't allowed to make fun of me for being old. Oh, I'm so sorry. That was ages. Yes, yes. Now, the problem for Biden politically was that both leaders at the summit was positive, but the White House is concerned that Biden will be accused of coddling China. So they actually put out a statement saying, quote, they are not friends. Right. And China responded, friends, no lovers, maybe. All right, Sam. All right, Sam, here is your next quote. This is huge. It's what we've been working towards for 20 years. Now, that was the CEO of a

do it yourself repair shop called I Fix It. He was reacting to the news that apple will finally allow you to fix your own what um your own iphone exactly your own iphone apple has announced they will now allow people to repair certain iphones and they'll still be covered under warranty this replaces their prior policy which was quote anyone who dares to open the sacred case will be declared pariah, an outcast. Seriously, you have no idea how big a deal this is. It's like the Mayo Clinic saying, we can do your surgery, or if you like, here's a scalpel and a pint of ether. Go nuts.

Yeah, it's not like we know how to do this and have just been waiting for the chance. I can't prove this, but I'm pretty sure Apple did this solely so my father can destroy his phone. I mean, I can't prove it. If we succeed at fixing it, do we also get paid? Yeah, why not? I mean, the way it works is if you send a request to Apple, they will send you replacement parts, tools, and a manual, but you'll have to provide your own child

laborer to actually do the work. They're sending the parts and the tools, but apparently you do need to buy special robotic hands in order to use the parts and the tools. You guys don't have your iHands yet? Nobody asked for this. Just put

the old headphone jacks back. That's all I've been asking for. Nobody asked for this. Well, we can't do that back. That's all I've been asking for. Nobody asked for this. Well, we can't do that for you, Harry, but here's a watch that will always tell us at Apple where you are. How's that? Would you like that? All right, Sam, here is your last quote. You kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath. That was a lyric from the most talked about album of the last week, if not the whole year, the newest re-release from whom? Oh, that's Tay-Tay. Tay-Tay? Yeah. He knows her personally. You're on Tay-Tay terms with Taylor Swift, I see. Are you yourself

a Swifty? My wife is. I understand. You're a Swifty by marriage. Taylor went from, say, the queen of pop to empress this week with a performance on Saturday Night Live that lasted 10 minutes, which frankly makes me jealous. On this show, we are not allowed to go longer than six minutes without an ad for the NPR Wine Club. The number she did, it's an expanded version of her song All Too Well about Taylor's relationship, we are all led to believe, with Jake Gyllenhaal. Personally, I cannot wait for Gyllenhaal to get in on the whole re-release trend too. Who wouldn't wait to see Prince of Persia, Jake's version? Man, she's one happy and healthy relationship away from her whole career being destroyed. I wonder about that now there is this very common criticism of taylor swift that she only writes about her breakups but honestly

that is both incorrect and it's pretty misogynistic i mean no one says that about say bob dylan but his entire classic album blood on the tracks was also about his toxic relationship with jake gyllenhaal it's a wonder you even know how to breathe jake Gyllenhaal. It's a wonder you even know how to breathe, Jake Gyllenhaal. You know that song. Tangled up in Jake. So this is kind of amazing. So there's the original version of the song, right?

There's the re-release. There's the special 10-minute version she did on a Saturday Night Live. And then on Thursday, Taylor released an even sadder version of the song, All Too Well. This is called the Sad Girl Autumn version. I'm starting to feel bad for Jake Gyllenhaal. I mean, sure, he might have been a bad boyfriend, but no one deserves to have three different versions of your breakup on the Billboard Hot 100 at the same time. But Peter, don't you think we deserve three different versions of your breakup and the Billboard Hot 100 at the same time. But Peter, don't you think we deserve three different versions of Prince of Persia? I think we at least do deserve that. I want to see a version of Prince of...

I'm a purist. I'm a purist. And I want to see a Prince of Persia version in which Jake Gyllenhaal only moves side to side as in the original game. Old school. Absolutely. Now that's the sad girl version.

Bill, how did Sam do in our quiz? He won them all. Three and oh. Congratulations. Very good. Well done. Thank you so much for playing and good luck getting that PhD done. Okay.

Thank you. much for playing and good luck getting that PhD done. Okay. Thank you. Take care. Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Hari, health experts want us to stop doing something that is just terrible for our bodies and our health. So stop worrying how you look and just stop doing what? Exercising. No, please. Sorry. Please. This is something that a lot of people, including myself, do instead of exercising to try to fake the results of exercising without actually exercising.

Suck in their gut. Exactly. You knew. Stop sucking in your stomach. Apparently, doing that all day is bad for you. Physicians say that constantly contracting your abs like that could cause breathing issues, could damage your core muscles while doing nothing to impress the lifeguard at the pool. The news is going to drastically decrease participation in 10-year reunions. It drastically decreased participation in 10-year reunions. There was a whole infomercial invention that that's all it did to your stomach. It just sucked it in? Did it suck it in for you? For like $15.99. Apparently doing it that, just sucking in your gut, right? It actually puts strain in your pelvic floor muscles.

So I guess we all have a choice. Would you rather have a stomach pooch sometimes or be peeing a little bit all the time? Oh, wow. Give me a second. And we're all, I just want to point this out. We're all doing it right now, right? It's impossible to talk about it without like, you know, everybody going, oh, that doesn't really hurt, you know? Right. Peeing a little bit. That's not what I meant. Oh, sorry. I'm doing the wrong thing. No, no, stop that. Don't do that. what I meant. Oh, sorry. I'm doing the wrong thing. Stop that! Don't do that! Coming up,

strike a pose in our Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Otsuko Okatsuka, Adam Felber, and Hari Kondabolu. And here again is your host, a man who was only partly electrocuted while trying to fix his iPhone during the break.

Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Right now it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff, the listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi there, Peter. It's John Lamar. Hey, John.

Where are you calling from? I'm calling from Northeastern Massachusetts. We're kind of halfway between Providence and Boston. What do you do there in beautiful Massachusetts? I work at Berklee College of Music, and I support all the lab and studio computers along with the team, so we make sure everything's working.

I understand. Now, are you yourself a musician since you're working at that school? Yeah, I am. I actually graduated from Berklee, and I play horn, known to many people as French horn, but horn players don't like to call them a French horn because it's not French. It's actually of German origin.

Okay, so French horn players don't like to call it the French horn. They like to call it the horn. Why do we amateurs, lay people, call it the French horn? Well, very often, I don't know whether this is true, but it's very often it's in the key of F. So it may have something to do with that. Also, you have to stick your tongue in the mouthpiece, right? I try not to. That's why it's French horn ignorance.

It's really a terrible thing. Well, John, you, of course, are going to have to play the game where you tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is John's topic? What happened after Madonna left? This week we heard a story that occurred after Madonna left somewhere, so it's post-Madonna, not pre-Madonna. Anyway, our panelists are going to tell you about this. Pick the one who's telling the truth and you'll win our prize, the weight-waiter of your choice on your voicemail. Are you ready to play? Absolutely. All right. Your first story comes from Adam Felber. The 30-year relationship between Madonna and the Four Seasons hotels almost came to an end last month when the

hotel chain lost its patience and announced it would be auctioning off the collection of weird, heavy, and sometimes living objects she tends to leave behind. Some of the left-behind items were somewhat dealable, like a prayer rug, collections of erotica, and entire crates of frozen edamame. Other items were more borderline, like a virgin wool tapestry of Guy Ritchie dressed as a medieval knight, an alpaca portable yurt, an actual alpaca. Fortunately, there is a ray of light. In an open letter to the hotels, she wrote, don't tell me what to do. I don't have to justify my love of any things I cherish, but this used to be my playground. And if you open your heart to me and give me one more chance,

I promise to try to make it better for everybody. The hotel quickly canceled the auction saying, at the end of the day, we respect your right to express yourself and we're crazy for you. But for heaven's sake, please remember to remove your material, girl. Four seasons set to auction off all the odd things Madonna has left behind after she left their various hotels. Your next story of somebody getting into the groove comes from Otsuka Okatsuka. Madonna's been called the queen of pop and queen of reinvention, but can she be the queen of miracle cures? In April of last year, Madonna showed up at a club in South London called The Parish, and Billy Blythe, the hat check guy who hadn't walked in 10 years, was so excited to see her he suddenly leapt up from his wheelchair in joy. was so excited to see her he suddenly leapt up from his wheelchair in joy. In the last year,

the club has turned into a pilgrimage site for the sick, with its name changed to the Holy Church of the Other Blessed Madonna. People suffering everything from terrible diseases to persistent hiccups have flocked there to gaze upon the shrine created where the DJ stand once was. They don't dance much, said the club's owner, but if they pay the cover and the two drink minimum, I'm sure Madonna will smile upon them. A club where Madonna once showed up at random becomes a shrine where people come to seek her blessing and healing.

Your last story of somebody on the borderline comes from Hari Kondabolu. In another clear challenge to God to strike us all dead, a Miami mansion once owned by Madonna was put back on the market for $31.75 million by its current owner. That owner is, as you would expect, a dog named Gunther VI. Madonna sold the Tuscan-style villa to a German countess named Carlotta Liebenstein in 1992. The countess, who was clearly mentally fit to manage her own affairs, left the estate along with the rest of her fortune to Gunther III, also a dog. The house was then passed down to Gunther IV, also a dog, who passed it down to his grandson Gunther VI, also a dog. The eight-bedroom waterfront home,

aka Exhibit A in the trial against capitalism, is managed by a group of handlers who have helped maintain a lavish lifestyle for all the Gunthers. Private jet trips to Milan and the Bahamas, private chefs who cook breakfast and serve caviar, and a red velvet bed overlooking the bay where Gunther can practice the phrase, let them eat dog treats. All right. We saw one of these stories in the news this week. Was it from Adam Felber, the Four Seasons hotel chain gets so sick of all the stuff Madonna left behind, they announce an auction of her possessions. From Atsuka, was it a club that became a shrine to and for Madonna after she danced there once

and made the lame walk? Or from Hari, a mansion she once owned being sold by its current owner, a dog. Which of these is the real story of a place that Madonna once was? The dog thing just seems too improbable,

but of course, the way this show works. I think I'm going to go with Adam. So you're going to go with Adam's story of the Four Seasons Hotel just collecting all the things that she has left. To bring you the true story, we spoke to the reporter covering it. This is an actual dog who owns the home, who is worth half a billion dollars. That was Kelly Kennedy, the Associated Press reporter who broke the story of the elaborate doghouse. And let me just say, find and read this story.

It is amazing. So I'm sorry, John, you did not win because you did not realize at the end Hari was telling the truth. You did, however, earn a point for Adam Falber for successfully fooling you. Thank you so much for playing. Well, thank you. I really enjoyed it. I enjoyed having you. Thank you so much. Bye-bye. And now the game where we ask people who are out of our league to come play on our playground.

In the long history of the NBA, there have been many seven-footers, a bunch of pairs of brothers, but there has been only one pair of identical twin brothers, seven-footers playing at the same time. And this weekend, Brooke Lopez of the champion Milwaukee Bucks and Robin Lopez of the Orlando Magic will be playing against each other. But as a warm-up to the main event, they join us here, Robin and Brooke Lopez. Welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Robin. So glad to be here. It is amazing to talk to you both and to see you. Just to get it clear for people who do not know this, you are identical twins. You are both seven feet tall. You grew up playing basketball together all through college, right? And you were two years at Stanford, right? Correct. through college right and you were and you were two years at stanford right correct and then and then off you went to the nba you were both drafted the same year but brooke i i understand you went first yes i was as a 10th pick that's pretty normal i was born for school oh you are so you're the older brother i imagine that when you do play each other as you'll be doing this week that your

trash talk can get very intimate you know i remember when i took most of the oxygen in the womb stuff like that it can but what's more what's more fun for us is is throwing uh is giving dirt planting dirt with our teammates it's a lot more unexpected that way when it comes from somebody you don't expect to know something so uh so so so close to home oh okay robin i need an example so you're like you say oh we're gonna play we're gonna play milwaukee here you say to your teammates this is what i want you to know about brooke that you can mention to him at an opportune moment what do you tell him yeah something like how about in high school um you know i went to the senior prom and brooke wasn't able to go with the girl he wanted to go with, something like that, except we would use names and stuff.

Things that will surprise, shock, and cut deep. Oh, does it work, Brooke? Are you on the court and some other players, you're under the post and he's like, yeah, Marie Kikowski turned you down for the prom. And you're like, what? What do you know about Marie? I mean, it goes to show how devious he is. I mean, he's bringing it up here on this radio program right now.

He shouldn't be telling people this stuff. He's a terrible brother. But you have a series of games this weekend in Milwaukee, Magic versus the Bucs. Do you guys put aside your brotherly affection and actually go at it when you play each other yeah yeah we do yeah we guard each other so um we do and i honestly think that the that the referees across the league have this thing where when they see we're guarding each other or we're playing against each other that night they let us go at it more i mean look i love all the refs but they miss a lot of calls.

Normally we make mistakes too playing, but they intentionally let us beat each other up when we're guarding each other. No question. Really? And does it get rough? Are you guys dirty? Are you guys dirty when you're guarding each other? A little elbows action?

What's happening? I don't think so. I think he gets a little like, you know, I'm better than him. So I score a couple of buckets. Like he gets frustrated. They're like human nature districts. And he like, you know,

sure. There was a bow. Robin, your rebuttal. We're all the hero in our own story. I do want to get into you. Cause we understand that you guys share a lot of interests outside basketball, that you were both, for example, Disney super fans.

This is true? This is true. Have you ever been? Is there like if you're over this height, you can't ride this ride? Has that ever been a problem? Yes. Really? Yes, that has.

Yeah. So we can do all the Disney rides except in Tokyo Disney. There's Second Gate, Tokyo DisneySea sea there's an attraction in lost river delta but the height limit is we're over it it's like 180 centimeters in disney sea in tokyo wow that's that's kind of sad and you know exactly that's the thing you've done every other one and so i'm willing to risk my life. Those people, they're strict. The Oriola Land Company and Tokyo Disney, they're very strict about it. When we go up on rides, so there's obviously the language barrier.

They show, when we try to first go through the line, they're always like this. No, no, no, you can't ride. No, no, no. And then they take us through the back and have us sit in the ride vehicle. We have to try to prove we fit. And, yeah, so they actually, that's the only one, though, with. And then they take us through the back and have us sit in the ride vehicle. We have to try to prove we fit. And yeah, so they actually, that's the only one though with the height limit. Wow. You can't get on it.

You can sneak on it. It'd be a shame if you died. They'd say, well, he was decapitated, but he did, he died doing what he loved. He was living his dream, right? So I'm kind of using this platform at this very moment to like, well, put it out there. Well, Robin and Brooke Lopez, it is such a joy to talk to you, but we have asked you to play a game we're calling Lopez's Meet the Low Prez's. You're among America's tallest athletes, but what do you know about America's shortest presidents? We're going to ask you about three people who definitely never dunked on the White House basketball court.

Answer two out of three questions correctly. You'll win a prize. One of our listeners, Bill, who are the Lopez brothers of the NBA playing for? And the Louie of Sarasota, Florida. All right. Now you can collaborate. You can argue. However, however, the moment strikes you.

Here's your first question. Martin Van Buren is tied for second shortest president at five foot, six inches. Now, lots of presidents have statues made of them, but only Van Buren has what to memorialize him? A, a monument to dedicate the spot where a carriage driver hit a pothole on purpose to fling Van Buren out of the carriage and into the mud. B, a sculpture of just his pointing right hand, which to this day points the way to the restrooms outside of the state dining room. Or C, a historical marker indicating the spot Van Buren slipped on some ice that today reads, "'Twas the funniest thing that any of the gentlefolk present had ever seen."

Well, I really like number one because it makes Van Buren sound like Biff Tannen from the Back to the Future movies. Can you help out, Robin, or you still don't understand the question? Oh my God. He didn't say anything. That wasn't even clever. That was just hurtful. I'm going to go with C for me. All right.

There's a difference of opinion. You can't choose. Well, you know what? This is what we're going to do because this is how we're going to do it. Because you're competitors. You're going to choose A, Brooke. Robin's choosing C. Are you both happy with that answer?

I'm very happy with mine. Brooke got it. It was A. Yes. Thank you, Big Tim. There you are. Yes, what happened? Apparently, ironically enough, Van Buren had opposed an infrastructure bill to help fix up the national roads.

And some people in Indiana wanted him to know just how bad those roads were. All right. You have two more chances. And, you know, maybe maybe, you know, Robin can come back in this one. Benjamin Harrison was also five foot six inches tall. He was not afraid of the challenges of the presidency, but he was afraid of what? A. Iguanas. B. Light switches, or C, the candy man? I'm going to go with A, iguanas. You're going to go with iguanas. Robin chooses iguanas. Brooke? I like the idea of Benjamin Harrison being terrified to turn on a light switch for being fearful of being electrified. All right. Brooke goes for light switches. Robin goes for iguanas. Are

you both happy with your choices? Yes. Yeah. Brooke got it again. It was light switches. He was president just as electricity came to the White House and he was absolutely terrified that if he touched the light switch, he'd be electrocuted. He and his wife would go to sleep with the lights on unless a servant would come in and turn it off for them. I sleep with the lights on, but that's because I'm scared of the Wicked Witch. All right. Well, that's also valid. That's also valid. All right.

Your last question. Let's see here if Robin can get one. All right. James Madison, as I'm sure you both know, having been to the Hall of Presidents many a time, was the shortest president, only five foot four inches, yet he played a vital role in the American Revolution, including when Thomas Jefferson assigned him to do what? A, measure animals to prove that the United States was not naturally inferior to Europe. B, find a replacement for British tea by boiling up all the plants that grew around Philadelphia. Or C, steal the Declaration of Independence? I got to go with B.

You're going to go with B, find a replacement for British tea, but just by boiling up everything they could find to see if it tasted good. Okay, that's your choice. Brooke? I was going to pick A just because I love A so much. Measuring animals to prove that the United States wasn't naturally inferior. That's your choice. What a job.

That's incredible. All right, it's your choice. Again, I'll ask you, is that your final answers? Are those your final answers? Final answer. Final answer, yes. Lock it in. Brooke just went three for three.

He was correct. The answer was measure animals. What? The answer was measure animals. And by the way, Madison, including his measurements, the distance between, and I swear to you this is true, the difference, he measured the distance between the anus and the vulva of the american weasel wow it was very thorough very thorough very thorough he was hopefully according to you guys

he didn't set a measurement of his own stature or for sure europe would have thought we were inferior that's true you did not do that because that would have given the game away bill how did the lopez brothers do on our quiz You did not do that because that would have given the game away. Bill, how did the Lopez brothers do on our quiz? Well, they did very, very well. They got three out of three. So that means let's call that a win. All right.

I think I need to point out, if only for Brooke's satisfaction, that technically Brooke got three out of three. I'm not a basketball expert. I'm predicting, I would expect, I'm going to, I'm just going to, I'm not a basketball expert. I'm predicting some flagrant fouls at this, at this weekend's game. Emotionally flagrant fouls. Yeah. Just don't bring up Sadie's Hawkins by junior year.

Oh, Robin and Brooke Lopez play for the Orlando magic and Milwaukee bucks, respectively. If you want to see him go head to head, you can see him face off this this Saturday, again on Monday. We had so much fun with you guys. Thank you so much for being on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you so much.

Oh, thank you guys. You too. This was a lot of fun. This was so much fun. Thank you. In just a minute, feel the sting of our listener limerick challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me on NPR.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Adam Felber, Atsuko Okatsuka, and Hari Kondabolu. And here again is your host, the man who always wanted a nickname. It's Peter Sparklebosom Sagal. Thank you, Bill. In just a minute, Bill stays up past his bed rhyme in our listener limerick challenge game. If you'd like to play, give us a call. 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924.

Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Adam, the Marvel movie Shang-Chi features a thrilling fight scene on a city bus barreling through the streets of San Francisco. Well, after the movie came to Disney Plus this week, the best new review of the movie came from whom? A bus driver? A bus driver! A San Francisco bus driver! A real San Francisco bus driver posts a review of just the bus scene on Twitter. Now, most of his observations are all about the rules that Shang-Chi's bus driver breaks.

For example, if a group of six international assassins were to use their martial arts to attack a passenger to steal his mystical amulet, regulations would require the bus driver to stop the bus and alert authorities. But this guy... It's right there in the manual. Right there.

Everybody knows this. Day one, bus driver school. But this guy just turns around to look at the fight instead of using the mirror, another demerit. And he's not even wearing a seatbelt, meaning, as Mac observes, that even though he's thrown from his chair and gets knocked out, he can forget about Workman's comp. Wow. I want more of this. I want a spider reviewing Spider-Man.

Well, I liked it. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's fine, but the web does not come out of my hand. I want a man reviewing Superman. Wait. How does that work? I cannot fly. I want a building super reviewing Superman.

That would be also fun. Where does he keep his keys? Asko, the whole cryptocurrency thing is getting bigger and bigger, but the crypto guys may have finally gone too far when they have purchased the naming rights for what beloved building? This is the beloved Staples Center. Oh, yes, you're right. Or as we should say, as of, I believe, this December, the crypto.com arena. This means that Southern California is now filled with grouchy old guys saying, I don't care what they call it. To me, it's still named after an office supply chain I haven't been to since I stopped using my printer in 2012. Yeah, I mean, pretty much, right?

At a certain point, it's like, is it just a name? How dare they replace the name of that stadium with a capitalistic name? Yeah, exactly. What about poor Mr mr staples who built this place if you were to and i recommend this go over to crypto.com and look at their about us section you will think you accidentally did a stock image search for evil tech bro and these guys plan to corner the crypto market and it will work because who among us doesn't choose where to invest in a shady incomprehensible techno ponzi scheme by looking to see what's painted in big letters on a sports building it's gonna be really weird showing up at laker games and like having to pay for a beer with like 110 billionth of a doge coin right or wouldn't be worse like all of a sudden all they're serving is hot doges um so the new york times this week did a profile of the guys of crypto.com

and it sounds as if like let me put it this way. Their biggest asset, the thing they've got that makes them think that they can just take over, corner the cryptocurrency market, is they managed to get the domain name crypto.com. Right? To give you some idea of what's going on here, Martin Shkreli called them gross. Exactly. Exactly. Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank. But first first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme if you'd like to play on air call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT that's 1-888-924-8924 you can always click the contact link on our website waitwait.npr.org there you

can also get tickets to our upcoming IRL show at the Harris Theater in Chicago Illinois on December 9th hi you're on wait wait don't tell, Peter. This is Ella Young from Los Angeles, California. Hey, Ella, what do you do there in LA? I'm a textile designer. That's very cool. This is a weird question, I guess, but I'm an ignorant person, so I'll ask it. Where do textile designs come from? Who decides, oh, we're going to have paisley now, or everybody's into plaids, or or solids or maybe little printed birds i mean are you have like total independence or are you following trends how does it work i think it

can be both um there are trend forecasters so they say hey i've been looking at the runways or hey i've been looking at the streets and i see a lot of people wearing cheetah print and so they're saying cheetah print's the next big thing and And so some companies will follow that. But then there's independent designers who are really inspired by frogs this season and just want a frog print. And so you're going to catch up for that. When you say about designers who are inspired by frogs, you're talking about yourself, right? Oh, yes, exactly. You like frogs. I do like frogs, yeah.

Like this season, it'll finally work. Everybody will be wearing frogs. I do like frogs, yeah. Like this season, it'll finally work. Everybody will be wearing frogs. Ella, welcome to the show. Bill Curtis right now is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly into the limericks, you will be a big winner. You ready to play? Yes, I am. All right.

Let's hear your first limerick. Desert stingers are racking up morbid winds. This is how some dark biblical lore begins. Big storms have unleashed tiny venomous beasts. We are plagued by an army of... Scorpions! Scorpions! Yes! You got it! Hospitals in Cairo have seen a huge uptick in scorpion stings

after heavy rains and flooding forced these venomous arachnids into people's homes. It's either another shocking side effect of climate change or Moses is back at it with another one of his crazy pranks. Oh, Moses. Just so we're clear, if anybody's listening in Cairo, when it rains scorpions, you should take shelter. But when it's raining men, hallelujah, it's raining men. And far be it for me to offer notes to the authors of the Old Testament, but scorpions, way cooler and scarier than frogs. So are men. All right. Here is your next limerick. scarier than frogs. So are men. Alright, here is your next limerick.

I'm showing I'm tuned out and bored. But AirPods are often ignored. So old schools unmatched. Wires clearly attached. This cool kid's not cutting the... Cord.

Cord, yes. Corded headphones are back. Because we all know music sounds better after you spend 10 minutes detangling your headphones. According to the Wall Street Journal, celebrities and models have been seen wearing corded headphones because they send that distinct don't talk to me message, although maybe that was just their reaction upon seeing a Wall Street Journal reporter.

Is this passive aggressive core? Is that what that is? I have noticed that when I wear the corded headphones like in the grocery store, I am – it's very unlikely that I will be like approached by fans. Yeah. Whereas when I'm wearing the cordless ones, it is also very unlikely. Yeah. All right. Here is your last limerick, Ella.

My owner's out. I'm home alone. I'm done napping and chewing my bone. Now I can't find my ball. You know what? I'll just call. I'm high tech with my new doggy. Phone.

Phone, yes. A Scottish scientist has developed a tool for lonely dogs used to having their owners around day. It's a system that lets your dog video call you. This is a terrible idea. Oh, sure, a dog can call you up anytime it likes. But as we all know, dogs are well known for self-restraint. This is true. On the first day of testing, the inventor's dog called 18 times. Oh, really? Yeah. And what when your dog calls you is like, oh, I miss my owner.

I'll call. What would your dog talk about? Hi, what are you eating? What are you eating now? What about now? What are you eating now? Nothing. Well, what are you eating now what about now what are you eating now nothing well what did you eat any chance you'll vomit it up and you're really just going to be staring at the dog's chest the whole time oh yeah we know how a german shepherd will probably use his phone it's true grandma so this is how it works it's an accelerometer switch that fits inside a ball so when the dog shakes the ball it connects the call on a nearby screen so if your dog feels lonely it can call you or if it feels like playing with a ball it can call you or if it lights down on top of the ball it can call you i have to say i know people who would be like after two or three hours you'd be like oh my dog hasn't called i need to check on him

yeah can a dog answer a call with the ball oh Oh, you know dogs, the way dogs are, they always let it go to voicemail. Bill, how did Ella do on our quiz? Ella has her new talents. Enjoy. You got a perfect score, Ella. Congratulations, Ella. Well done. Thank you so much.

Thank you so much. Thanks for playing, Ella. Have a good one. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will now have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Hari has two. Atsuko has two. Adam has three. So Hari and Atsuko has two. Adam has three. So Hari and Atsuko are tied for second. I will arbitrarily say Hari, you're going first.

Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, President Biden and other Democratic leaders went on the road in support of the new blank bill. Infrastructure bill. Right. Following a decline, the CDC warned that blank cases will rise sharply in the winter. COVID. Gas prices. Refugees. And passed out. This week, police in Canada were able to easily apprehend two thieves after they tried to steal a house's furnace and blanked. Um, and passed out.

Yes, from the leaking gas. Oh, wow. Okay. That's very good. On Monday, Patrick Leahy, the longest serving member of the blank, announced he will not run for re-election. Senate. Right. On Tuesday, New York Mayor Bill de Blasio announced that Times Square's blank celebration was back on this year.

Uh, New Year's Eve. Right. Voters in a small town in Georgia say they have ousted their mayor because he spent $300,000 on blank. What is Pixie Stix? No, he spent $300,000 trying to build a giant topiary chicken. Fitzgerald, Georgia Mayor Jim Puckett was elected some years ago on the promise that he would bring more tourists to the city. And his master plan was to build the world's largest topiary chicken, two stories high. However, four years later, he spent $300,000 in the project and the topiary chicken isn't even finished.

This seems like a terrible waste, but it may have been part of a broader jobs program aimed at the scissorhands community. Bill, how did Hari do in our quiz? I'm impressed. Hari had seven right for 14 more points. He now has 16. All right. Wow. All right. Let's go. You're up next. Please fill in the blank. On Wednesday, former Trump aide blank pled not guilty to obstruction of Congress. Um, the guy. Yes, he is a guy. Oh, Steve Bannon. Steve Bannon, yes. Because of rising COVID numbers, the government in Austria

announced a lockdown for anyone who was not blanked. Not been vaccinated? Right. After he released an anime-style video showing him attacking President Biden with a sword, the House censured Representative Blank. Yeah, I forget his name. His siblings hate him. That's the guy. He's the dentist, Paul Gosar. This week, police in the UK pulled over a trucker hauling a bunch of onion rings stuffed with Blank.

Onion rings stuffed with French fries. No! Interesting idea, though. They were stuffed with $33 million worth of cocaine. This week, a man in California was surprised when he came home to discover that his bucket of KFC had been eaten by blank. His dog. No, three bears. The man was shocked when he came home for lunch and saw a bear sitting outside his house. Even more shocked when he got inside and saw two other bears eating the bucket of KFC that he left out for his own lunch. I don't know what's weirder, having a bunch of bears in your house or preferring your KFC room temperature. Despite eating all of it,

none of the three bears said the fried chicken was just right. Bill, how did Atsuko do on our quiz? Atsuko had two right for four more points for a total of six, but Hari is still in the lead with 16. Wow, good work. All right. How many then does Adam

need to win? Seven to win. All right, Adam. Here we go. It's for the game. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, the White House announced plans to buy enough of Pfizer's new blank pill to treat 10 million people. COVID. COVID. Right.

This week, the so-called QAnon shaman was sentenced to 41 months for his role in the attack on the blank. The Capitol. Right. Following a report that she's frustrated in her role, blank said she doesn't feel misused by the White House. Kamala Harris. Right. This week, a woman in New Zealand had to call police after she was held hostage in her home by blank. An opossum. Exactly right, a very angry one. On Monday, InfoWars host blank was found guilty in all four Sandy Hook defamation

cases. Alex Jones. Yes, on Thursday, North America saw the longest lunar blank in over 500 years. Eclipse. Right. At a corporate event for Land Rover this week, Wyclef Jean gave a concert, carried the CEO on his shoulders while they posed for pictures, and then blanked. Vanished! No, he dropped the CEO on his head. Oh! No, Wyclef, you're supposed to kill him softly. Softly! Wyclef was carrying around the CEO for reasons known only to him.

He lost his balance, dumping the CEO onto the CEO's head, at which point we learn that man does not come with standard front impact airbags. Remember, it's great when you're at a concert and the singer crowd surfs. It does not work when the crowd singer surfs. Bill, how did Adam Felber do? Did he do well enough to win? Oh, so close. He had six right for 12 more points, total of 15, which means with 16, Hari is the champion

this week. Whoa, Hari Kaibolu! Great work! You're so smart! You're so smart! You're so smart! I'm still the same! I haven't changed! In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict, after Taylor Swift's

smashing success, what will be the next big hit breakup song? Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircraft Productions' Doug Berman Benevolent Overlord. Philip Godeka writes our limericks. Our social media superstar is Emma Choi. BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, Lillian King, and Nancy Seychat. Special thanks to Vinnie Thomas. Assistant to Gunter VI is Peter Gwynn. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller.

Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Shillog. The executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Michael Danforth. Now, panel, what will be the title of the next big hit breakup song? Atsuko Okatsuka. You're Icky by Lil Dicky.

Adam Felber. Because he just can't make the relationship work, Elon Musk will release his new single, Smell Ya Later, Earth. And Hari Kondabolu. We Are Never Getting Vax Together, a remix by Taylor Swift. Well, if any of that happens, we're going to ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Thank you so much, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Adam Felber, Hari Kondabolu, and thanks for a wonderful debut to Otsuko Okatsuka. Thanks to all of you for listening. I am Peter Sagal, and we will see you next week. This is NPR.