Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - Chris Bosh

Episode Date: June 12, 2021

NBA legend Chris Bosh plays our game about Pringles called "Chris Bosh, Have A Crisp Nosh." He is joined by panelists Charla Lauriston, Roxanne Roberts, and Alonzo Bodden.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Bet you can't break me, I'm indestructible. Bill Curtis, and here is your host, who is currently googling the word host to find out what he's supposed to be doing. Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. And thanks to all of you at home who I am certain are cheering wildly right now. Later on today, we are going to be talking to Chris Bosch, the NBA legend. He won two championships with the Miami Heat. He has written a new book with advice for talented young athletes. For example, he says it's not enough to just want to make a lot of money.

He's right. For example, I would like to make a lot of money so I can buy things. We know what your motivation is for calling us to win a voicemail by answering our questions. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell me. Hey, how you doing, Peter? I'm doing fine. Who's this? This is Patrick. I'm in Atlanta, Georgia. What do you do in Atlanta? I'm a teacher at a middle school here. Oh, wow. I find that work to be impossibly hard. I mean, I've never tried it, but I don't have the guts. How do you find it? It has its ups and downs, and it's my second year. Oh, wow. And so, yeah, I've really had quite the variety of experiences in just these two years.

Yeah. I love it, but it's been crazy. You're doing the Lord's work, Patrick. You really are. I don't think even God would actually have the guts to teach middle school. God cannot operate Zoom. Exactly right. Well, welcome to the show, Patrick. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First, she's a Washington Post reporter whose two cats think she's stayed home for the last 14 months just to wait on them. It's Roxanne Roberts. Hello, Patrick. How are you? Good. Next, she's the co-host of the Secret Lives of Black Women podcast,

and her debut comedy album, Karate, is available on Spotify. Welcome back, Sharla Lauriston. Hello, Patrick. Hello, hello. And finally, a comedian who, as of June 21st, will be on KBLA Talk 1580 Radio in Los Angeles. It's Alonzo Bowden. Hey, Patrick, how are you? Good. Well, welcome to the show, Patrick. You're going to play Who's Bill this time. Bill Curtis is going

to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you'll win our prize. Any voice from our show you might choose on your voicemail. Are you ready to play? I'm ready. All right. Here is your first quote. It's a big deal for me. That was Jeff Bezos announcing that once he steps down as CEO in Amazon in just a week or so, the first place he's going to go is where?

To space. Outer space. Exactly right. He's going to space. This week, Jeff Bezos announced that he would be going to space in his own rocket ship next month. I guess when you're a billionaire, you can't have a normal midlife crisis. It may be problematic that he insisted that the rocket be a convertible. On the other hand, it will be very nice for him to experience just once what it's like to be one of his own warehouse workers.

And by that, I mean being forced to use his pants as a bathroom. This has become an ego thing amongst billionaires. Who can get to outer space first? Who can get the farthest, right? Elon Musk has rockets. And the guy from Virgin. Right, Richard Branson. Richard Branson has rockets. Bezos.

I don't know how you get that rich i guess you got to do something right you're not gonna like spend the money on poor people no i mean what else is there to do oh yes we'll build a rocket it is true and and you know of course elon musk who has his own space rocket company he's already achieved some you know orbitals flight and he's already got the contract with NASA. So I guess Bezos is trying to show him up, right? Bezos is like, oh yeah, Elon Musk, you sent your car up there. I'm going to go myself. And you know, when he gets there, he's going to find Elon Musk's car and key it. Is there any way we can get all three of these guys up there at the same time and then just

change all the locks on earth? Wouldn't that be great? We just get them to go to outer space, then we'll just move the planet 10 feet over. Just move it over 10 feet and it'll be like, it's gone. I'll tell you what will actually happen, though. They'll all get to the moon, then they'll buy it, and then they'll block it from us, and that would be the last we get to see the moon. Exactly. It'll just be their little private reserve.

This is one of the oddest things. So Bezos is not going alone. It's a three seat spacecraft and he is bringing his younger brother. And you know, it's just because like Jeff Bezos, his mom said, come on, Jeff, bring your little brother. It would mean the world to him. Come on. And the third seat going to the highest bidder. That's right. For just a few million dollars, you could be the world's highest third wheel. Oh, I think it would be great if like the CEO of Whole Foods used the money that he bought him out with to go and just tell him everything he's done wrong with the store since he bought it. Just, you know, Jeff, back some sympathy for are the engineers who work for Bezos, who just found out that the first manned flight is going to have their boss on it. But the engineers, that's the greatest job in the world, because when that rocket reaches peak altitude is when you say, so we wanted to talk about a raise. Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Bezos.

You'd like to come back. Well, we hadn't negotiated back yet. All right. Here is your next quote. Essentially, we've been in the back pockets of organized crime. That was a man named Reese Kershaw talking about a messaging app used by hundreds of organized crime members to discuss their illegal activities and brag about the heists. Well, they were all arrested this week because it turns out the app was developed by whom? Was this the FBI that sold them a messaging platform? It was the FBI. You're exactly right. Well done.

It was the FBI. You're exactly right. Well done. This week, law enforcement agencies from around the world announced the simultaneous arrest of 800 organized crime members thanks to an app secretly created by the FBI called ANOM, which is a great name if you think about it, because ANOM sounds like it's anonymous, but it's not. Criminals were sending messages to each other, but the FBI saw all of it. And the sad thing is, it clearly said, oh, the FBI is monitoring everything you say in the terms and conditions, but nobody ever reads that. I thought everything they used to do has been legalized, right? We have daily lotteries. There's legalized prostitution. Drugs are legal. What business is left?

You really, I mean, have they actually been reduced to like actually importing olive oil? Actually doing sanitation? I mean, is that what they're reduced to? Now, you might be wondering, how did the FBI, so they developed this this supposedly anonymous messaging app how did they get all these criminals to use it they actually used a criminal influencer and he liked it so he started giving it to everybody he did business with and they all wanted to be like him so they used it and it spread to 12 000 users he got 12 000 other criminals to use this app it's a good thing that

powerful organized crime figures don't hold grudges if if the fbi didn't take this uh app down a mom joining would take it down just like that's true facebook ends the app it was gonna end with you the fbi and international police arresting everybody. Or like Vinny the Chin's mom getting on it. Everybody's like, ah, it's ruined now. All right. Here is your last quote. I don't know. I don't know how to answer that.

That was Garrett Cole. He is the highest paid pitcher in the history of baseball. And he was just answering a question of whether or not he does what? Well, I want to say steroids, but I feel like it's something else. It is something else that he's not supposed to do. Cheating. Yes, cheating. Very good.

Major League Baseball is finally cracking down on pitchers putting foreign substances, glue, sunscreen, something called spider tack and other sticky stuff on baseballs to make them curve harder and make them harder to hit. And sure, they say it's because this tarnishes the game. But the truth is, pitchers have gotten so good at it that no one is hitting baseballs anymore. Even baseball now thinks baseball is boring. Now, if you know what to look for, you can see how pitchers do this. They hide the sticky stuff

under their hats or in their gloves or on the back of their necks. This is true. Officials once found a ball with so much glue on it that when they tried to remove the substance, the stitching came off the ball. Another sure sign that this kind of cheating is going on, the hitter swings at the ball and it just sticks to the bat. Bill, how did Patrick do in our quiz? He threw a no-hitter. He got all three right. Way to go, Patrick.

All right. All right, Patrick. Thank you so much for playing. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Bye-bye. Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about the week's news. Alonzo, just weeks before the Democratic primary for mayor of New York City, questions are being asked about leading candidate Eric Adams, namely whether or not he does what?

Lives in New York. Exactly right. There is not a lot you can do to get disqualified to be mayor of New York City. Mike Bloomberg pretended to be a Republican. Bill de Blasio pretended to be a human being and not a sentient lamppost. But apparently actually living in New Jersey is out of bounds. president. He says he has been sleeping in his office in downtown Brooklyn for the past year, but when he's not there, where is he? Politico reported that he seems to be spending lots of times over in New Jersey, where his partner lives, to dispel the rumors, and this is true, Adams arranged a tour for reporters at this Brooklyn brownstone to prove it's where he lives and not where his son lives, despite the fact that his son's clothing was hanging behind him. There's meat in the fridge, even though he's a vegan. And his son was standing in the background saying, come on, dad, can't you knock first?

You know, there's really nothing more New York than not being able to afford to live in New York. That's true, actually. Yes. Or just his son's his roommate, you know? Well, that's the thing, man. It's not so much that he can't live in the city. Nobody minds that.

But New Jersey? Maybe he wants the job to get to live in the mansion. Exactly. Like to get to live in Gracie's mansion. That's why Cuomo doesn't want to leave because he needs that house. Exactly. Cuomo's thinking, I'm so glad I didn't download that app. Welcome to my house.

Welcome to my house. Coming up, our panelists turn their frowns upside down in a happily ever after Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. An internal investigation found that a cop with the California Highway Patrol sexually harassed 21 women. But those findings were kept secret until a new state transparency law passed. We dug through hours of tapes to find out what happens to officers who cross the line. Listen to On Our Watch, a podcast from NPR and KQED.

Listen to On Our Watch, a podcast from NPR and KQED. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Alonzo Bowden, Roxanne Roberts and Sharla Lauriston. And here again is your host, at least we think it's him and not just a really good impersonator, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Right now it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, Bluff the Listener Game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air. Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, Peter. This is George Aguilera from Trail, Oregon. It's great to be on. It's great to have you. What do you do out there in Trail, Oregon? I work with the Army Corps of Engineers, and I'm a park ranger for them.

Oh, you are? Yes. So I thought the Army Corps of Engineers did things like build dams and canals and stuff. I didn't think they had park rangers. And that's what I'm stationed on. Oh. We're here at a dam on the Rogue River. And when they dammed up the river, there were a bunch of recreation areas that popped up. Oh, I see. They thought to themselves, well, we need someone to make sure people don't, you know, light this on fire. Right.

And they hired us. Although if someone were to come and light the rogue river on fire, I think it'd be more fun just to watch and just sit and watch them try. Well, it is Oregon. You'd be surprised what could burn out here. Yeah, that is true. That is true. Well, welcome to the show, George. You're going to play the game of Machuma's Try to Tell Truth from Fiction. Bill, what is George's topic? And they lived happily ever after, somehow. Well, we've all heard that every cloud has a silver lining, which doesn't make

sense because clouds are made of marshmallows. This week, we heard a story that started out just terribly. We were very worried, but it had a really surprising, happy ending. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the one that's telling the truth. You'll win our prize, the weight waiter of your choice in your voicemail. You ready to play? Absolutely. truth, you'll win our prize, the weight waiter of your choice in your voicemail. You ready to play? Absolutely. All right. First up, let's hear from Alonzo Bowden. Sunday morning, every parent's worst nightmare happened to Linda Oswald and her family. A high-speed collision on Idaho's Highway 41. Glass shattered, cars spun, but thankfully everybody was okay, except... Where's Tilly? The family's beloved border collie was gone, thrown from the car and nowhere to be found.

They searched and searched, sent out pleas on social media, but all seemed lost, along with Tilly. Two days later, on a nearby sheep farm, Tyler Potter glanced out at his flock, and he noticed with satisfaction that his two sheep dogs were on the job. Wait a minute, he only had one sheep dog. Closer inspection revealed that his sheep dog, Hooey, had been joined by a collie, a border collie, that was happily co-herting the sheep, living his best life. Even shepherds have social media, so it didn't take long for Tyler to realize who his new employee was. It was Tilly. So he flagged down a passing police cruiser. He said that dog was just trying too hard. The Oswalds say that Tilly is fine, but perhaps a little upset, maybe because she was abandoned out on a prairie, or maybe because she had finally living every border collie's dream, herding sheep, and some idiot shepherd dropped a dime on it.

All right. A dog gets lost in a traffic accident, may be killed, but in fact is discovered two days later happily herding sheep. Your next story of things turning out well is from Roxanne Roberts. sheep. Your next story of things turning out well is from Roxanne Roberts. As soon as Rose Hill Manor announced it was reopening May 1st, the Long Island wedding venue was booked solid with anxious brides and grooms who waited more than a year to tie the knot. In what would prove to be a fateful scheduling coincidence, the Givens-DeLuca wedding and the Rossi-Thompson wedding were set for adjoining ballrooms. This is where groom Stephen DeLuca laid eyes on the bride next door, Caitlin Rossi, who turned out to be his high school sweetheart from 15 years earlier, reports the New York Post.

What happened next is like a rom-com. DeLuca and Rossi ran off together, leaving their abandoned fiancés with two receptions and 265 shocked guests. Now, Vicki Givens and Trey Thompson have teamed up for a $350,000 lawsuit seeking damages for wedding costs and emotional distress, and they say they're happily dating. Quote, this is the strangest meet cute in history, Thompson told the Post, but I'm lucky to have found Vicki. Two weddings happening at the same time result in one groom running off with one bride, which leads to a lawsuit, and the other groom and bride finding each other. Your last bad news turned good news story comes from Sharla Lauriston. Irene Bass of Pocatello, Oregon had quite the scare this weekend when a routine day on the job

at Pocatello Credit Union turned into a life or death situation. Bass, a bank teller at the credit union for the last 13 years, said her life flashed before her eyes when a customer slipped her a note that said to empty out her cash bin or else. I looked up at him and something struck me, she said. I was so scared I didn't know if I could speak, but I managed to say, didn't you sit behind me in fifth grade math? It was my old friend Tony. What makes it even more amazing is I recognized him even though he was wearing a ski mask, but he did always have nice eyes. He recognized her too. And after a little chit chat, you know, what have you been up to? And oh, you know, robbing banks. She took her lunch break and they caught up over sandwiches at the subway down the street. I paid, Irene said. Something told me he was short on cash.

So, you've heard three stories of happy endings. Was the real one in the news from A. Alonzo, a border collie who got lost in a traffic accident, but was found two days later herding sheep, like all border collies truly want to do. From Roxanne, two weddings that were wrecked when they were booked in the same place, leading to the bride and groom running off together. But the other bride and groom also liked each other, so no harm done. Or from Sharla, a bank teller getting robbed and realizing that no, it's not a bank robber, it's her old friend. What a lovely reunion. Which of these was the real story of a happy ending in the news? I think I'm going to go with the two weddings. You're going to go with the two weddings.

You're going to choose Roxanne's story of the weddings that happened in the same place. Bride, groom, see each other, run off together. Other bride and groom are mad, but they decide, hey, they've got something in common. Why not see if that'll work? That's your choice? I think so. You think so? All right.

You have chosen that. Well, we spoke to one of the people who benefited from this very happy ending. No. Yep, that was Linda Oswald, human companion to Tilly the Border Collie, talking about how her dog landed her dream dog, and then she tragically took it away from her. So I'm sorry.

It turns out Alonzo was telling the truth about the world's luckiest Border Collie. I'm so sorry you didn't win, but you earned a point for Roxanne, who, as she likes to do, beguiled you. Thank you so much for playing, and hopefully maybe I'll see you out there in the Rogue River sometime soon. Oh my god, come rafting with us, please. I will. Thank you so much. Bye. Bye-bye. And now the game where people we look up to have to look way down to see us. It's called Not My Job. In his

basketball career, Chris Bosh won pretty much every award there was to win. 11-time NBA All-Star, two championships with a Miami Heat, an Olympic gold medal, and of course, he's in the Basketball Hall of Fame. And now he's written a book, so we assume he will soon be up for the Nobel Prize in literature. Chris Bosh, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Awesome. Thanks for having me. Man, you're too kind with that intro. Please. Thank you. So you're back in Texas man you're too kind with that intro please thank you so so you're back in texas where you're from uh i always wonder uh for people such as yourselves who are very well known

if you can have any anonymity walking around i imagine it's particularly hard for you shall we say because you're a pretty prominent person yeah i'm pretty tall i'm pretty yeah i was getting at that yeah i learned pretty early that I can't hide. Hiding is a very limited game for me in my life. Yeah. So when you just brace yourself and you want to go walk down the street, you're like, yes, I'm going to hear from people. It's just what happens. It's just what it is. I know you see me. Hi. I don't know much about playing basketball on your level, but I have written a book. You've written a book. What's harder, playing championship basketball or writing a book?

And please say writing a book. Man, I'm going to go with playing. They present themselves. I'm going to be politically correct. They're both different challenges, but I'm an athlete by nature. I'm going to have to say, you know, it's that physical part when you, when that alarm goes off and you know what time it is and you know that you're about to have to go and run up and down the court, it gets, it gets very challenging very quickly. And when you're playing basketball nine, nine and a half months out of the year, it gets tough.

You come across in the book as exceptionally thoughtful and, and considered in terms of your attitude. is that what you were like as a player i mean were you the kind of or were you like out there trash talking and no and demonstrating the way that trash talking wasn't my thing yeah i love to play intense no not i mean not to say that i didn't get in scuffles and word matches, but if you check the percentages, I didn't, I didn't play well in those instances. So I kind of, I kind of let the trash talkers do their thing and understood who I was. I'm the guy reading books before a game. That's who I am.

That gets me prepared. I'm in the zone. You don't want to mess with me on this court. Right. You don't want to mess with me on this court. Right. Was it weird going from Toronto where you, I think, set records that still stand for the Raptors down to Miami where you were one of three superstars? It must have been like Batman joining the Justice League.

It was like all of a sudden there are other superheroes around. It was. You know what it was like? I'm so glad you used that analogy because I haven't used that before. So it's like, yeah, Batman's with the Justice League. And it's like, yo, let me use my utility bill. Like, no, no, no. Hey, hey, Batman, you don't need to do that.

Go over there. Oh, really? We found that common ground. But come on. You know, a guy in his mid-20s, I want the ball. Give me the ball. And that was just the balance that we had to find in our relationship. So you're an absolute legend, a Hall of Famer. Um, did you also binge watch the last dance? I wouldn't, I promised myself I will watch it live. Cause you know,

it was the prime of the pandemic and we were very, very serious about it. But, oh, I mean, I watched, I watched Michael Jordan win that first trophy. And that was the moment when I knew that that's when I wanted to be a professional basketball player. Obviously, you didn't play at the same time. Did you ever go play golf with Michael Jordan? You ever spend time with him? No, I'm not a golfer. I tell people I have clubs, but they're clean. I'll get out there.

If you want to hit balls in the woods, that's cool. We'll get a mulligan. We'll keep playing. But I'm not the ring. That's cool. We'll get a mulligan. We'll keep playing, but don't, don't, I'm not the ringer for sure. What we've heard is one of the reasons Jordan loves to play golf so much as it gives him a place to go out and compete and frankly beat people, which he is into. I can see that. So you don't have any aspect of your life where you get to sort of work that out? I never, I never did anything for me. I I'm, I'm too much of a competitor, you know? So when we start competing, I don't want to be mad.

I don't want to feel this. If I'm playing golf with Michael Jordan and this is a really serious game, it's like, I shouldn't feel this way about Michael Jordan because he beat me. I had to stop playing fantasy football. It was on Thanksgiving and I was mad. I said, I shouldn't be like this. Really? You were like on Thanksgiving with I was mad. I said, I shouldn't be like this. Really? Yeah. You were like on Thanksgiving with your family? Yeah, we come from a wonderful family and then somebody drops a pass and I'm like, I shouldn't feel this way. And the Cowboys lost. I'm a Dallas fan. I'm like, this isn't it for me. This is not my lifestyle. Well, let's see how competitive you are because Chris Bosch, it is a joy to talk to you, but we have in fact invited you here to play our game, and we call it...

Chris Bosch, have a crisp nosh. We're going to ask you three questions about our favorite crisp nosh, that is Pringles potato chips. Answer two out of three questions about the terrifyingly unnatural snack. You will win our prize for one of our listeners, the voice of anyone they might like in their voicemail. Bill, who is Chris Bosch playing for? Sam Pittman of Phoenix, Arizona. All right. You ready for this? Game on. All right. First question. Frederick Bauer is the man who invented Pringles, is the engineer who came up with the way of manufacturing them. And he was so proud of his invention that he did what? A, he named his two sons Sour Cream and Chive,

or B, he grew a mustache exactly like the one in that guy in the logo, or C, he had himself buried in a Pringles can. Oh, man. Well, we're going to learn about Pringles history, which is amazing. I guess, yeah, it's an American history too, technically, rightingles history which is amazing it is, it's a fascinating topic it's American history too technically I've consumed the products that sounds like something

if it were me I would definitely ask my boys to bury me in a Pringles can you're exactly right and the level of emotional insight you showed was very impressive, that's exactly right. And the level of emotional insight you showed was very impressive. That's exactly right. That's what he asked for.

That's a good one. He was cremated and his ashes interred in a Pringles can, a real one, that his sons went out and bought at a Walgreens. They thought about it. Reasonable. It has to be original flavor. So presumably they ate the potato chips and then used the can. Very good. That is amazing.

Now, Pringles are popular because they're so easy to eat. But another snack company is trying to outdo them. What is this new kind of potato chips? A, one-hand chips, which come pre-crushed so you can just essentially drink them out of the bag. B, IV chips, potatoes in a saline solution you just inject directly into your bloodstream. Or C, aerosol chips, which you spray in front of your face and then inhale. This is real? This is real. One of those is real.

Oh my God. Yeah. This is, man, it's getting innovative. I'm going to go with the, I mean, that sounds like an aerosol thing. You're going to go with the aerosol thing? Spray the, yeah, spray the it's getting innovative. I'm going to go with the, I mean, that sounds like an aerosol thing. You're going to go with the aerosol thing? Spray the, yeah, spray the chip in your face. That is a good idea if anybody out there wants to buy it from us. But no, the answer is one-hand chips.

You know how you finish a bag of potato chips and there's just crumbs down there? You just tip it up, just drink down those last chips. Imagine the entire bag like that. That is the innovation. That's amazing. I wouldn't, you know, that's great. All right. One last question.

You get this right, you win it all. Pringles are popular all over the world. If you're in the right place at the right time, you can try which of these real Pringles flavors. Which of these is real? A, blueberry and hazelnut. B, white chocolate peppermint. Or C, nightclub. Oh, come on, man.

I thought you were just going to give me something good, man. These are all just no disrespect. They're terrible flavor. What is nightingale tastes like? What is it called? It's not, not nightingale nightclub nightclub nightclub flavor.

That's the flavor. I'm going to have to go with nightclub. The answer is nightclub as well as the other two. Those are all. Where are they and i will order a bag right now where are they from where can i i don't know but you can find them online you can get your night i don't even know what night what does a nightclub taste like cigarette ash and vodka and salt no i don't want that one i don't want nightclub that's i don't want early 20s taste. That's bad. Bill, how did Chris Bosh do in our quiz?

Two out of three, which means Chris is a winner. Yes. The legend does it all. Add one more to the trophy case. It means everything to me. I am going to believe you. I am going to believe you. Chris Bosch is a two-time NBA champion, 11-time NBA all-star, an Olympic gold medalist,

and his new book, Letters to a Young Athlete, a thoughtful meditation on what it takes to succeed. I highly recommend it. It is out now. Chris Bosch, thank you so much for joining us. An absolute joy to talk to you. Thank you all. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for joining us. An absolute joy to talk to you. Thank you all. Thank you so much. Thank you so much.

Thank you, sir. Take care. In just a minute, Bill has a warning for coffee drinkers in the Listener Limerick Challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. playing this week with Roxanne Roberts, Alonzo Bowden, and Sharla Lauriston. And here again is your host, who would like to ask if he can have this dance, Peter Segal. Thank you so much, Bill. In just a minute, Bill calls 911 to report a rhyme in progress. It's the Listener Limerick Challenge Game. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924.

Right now, panel, time for some more questions for you from the week's news. Sharla, the eyes of the world have turned to China to watch as a 15-member gang rampages through the countryside, drinking booze, passing out wherever they like. What is unique, though, about this gang? Is it that they are children? I'm just... No, not children. Well, some of them are very young, but they're not children, per se. They're big. They're big. They're young

but big. Oh, is it elephants? It is elephants, yes. Did you know that or was like that your second on the list? Okay, it could be humans, it could be elephants, it could be gerbils. Okay, yes, it's elephants. There's a herd of 15 elephants left

their home in a jungle in southern China a few months ago, and they started heading north. And this is true. They are wandering through, shall we say, developed areas, and they sometimes find barrels of alcohol, break them open, and drink them until they pass out. And everybody thinks, oh, it's so cute. When I do it, I get arrested. But hey, nobody knows why they left or where they're going although elephant experts have identified one of them is wearing a t-shirt that reads 2021 spring break party animal posse well they're i mean they're destroying things in their paths yes if i saw the story they're walking through when they come through cities, I'm just thinking, can you imagine calling your insurance agent? Like, okay, there was a drunken elephant that just came through the bedroom. They're like, sure, the elephant was the one drunk.

Right. It is true that these elephants are just like, you know, and they're protected, right? So nobody can harass them. So they're just like walking through, they're like breaking into people's homes. They're actually inside people's homes. That's right. We have to talk about the elephants in the room. Oh, oh, oh, oh. What is going on? What do these elephants know? And why has one of them bought a ticket to go into space with Jeff Bezos? Alonzo, scientists have found a microscopic creature in Siberia. That's not unusual. But what about this little guy is slightly odd.

He has a coat? No, very stylish. It's like, are you kidding? It's incredibly cold here, says the microscopic organism. No. Let's see. Can you give me a hint? Yeah, he doesn't look a day over 23,000 years old.

Oh, he's 24,000 years old. It is. It's over 23 000 years old oh he's 24 000 years old it is it's 24 000 years old the animal was frozen in the last ice age and they thought him out just recently it's swimming happily in its little medium although it's wondering why we don't have jet packs like everybody said we would by now my first thought is so they thaw this little sucker out yeah and they unleash it into the modern world and what hellscape will be created because of it. Sort of like a mini microbe version of Jurassic Park. They keep doing these things.

They keep like making super intelligent robots and like hybridizing animals and thawing out ancient creatures that should never again see the light of day. It's like, have they never seen a movie? What I wonder is, what if he was going for 25,000 years? I was going for the record, you bastards. You're going for 25,000 and they come along at 24 and thaw you out.

You're like, are you kidding? Do I have to start over? Wake up, it's a new day. Better make way for a smile wake up trust the gray shade coming up it's lightning fell in the blank but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme if you'd like to play on air call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT that's 1-888-924-8924 or click the contact us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. And if you wish our show was less talking and more something you can scroll through while going to the bathroom, follow us at WaitWait on Twitter or at WaitWaitNPR on Instagram. And we have big news.

We are coming back to do shows with a live audience for the first time in 17 months. On August 5th, we will be at the Mann Center in Philadelphia. Then on August 26th, at the Tanglewood Music Center in Western Massachusetts. Big outdoor venues, lots of space. No Zoom whatsoever. For tickets and more info, go to waitwait.npr.org. Please come. We have missed you and we want to see how far you've let yourself go during the pandemic. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Emily Schuchmider calling from Chicago, Illinois. Hey, here in

Chicago. How are you doing? I'm pretty good. How are you? I'm fine. I'm fine. What do you do here in our fine city? I am a gallery attendant and project assistant at a contemporary art museum called the Renaissance Society. Oh, wow. Oh, okay. Has it opened up yet? Are you open to the public? Because the city is getting ready to open. We have been open. We actually have an opening coming up this Sunday, if you'd like to come and visit. Oh, wow. Are you excited? Are you excited to have people come and see you and like wander around and cough on you and rub on things? Yeah, it's my favorite thing when people cough. Yes. Yeah.

Well, Emily, welcome to our show. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on just two of the limericks, you will be a big winner. You ready to play? I am. All right. Here is your first limerick. On the fifth and sixth cup, I might find it appears that the light has declined. And the seventh flat white really messed with my sight.

Too much coffee has made me go... Blind? Blind, yes. A new study out of Mount Sinai Hospital finds drinking too much caffeine can cause you to go blind. So, depending on your timing and your hangover, you can go straight from blind can cause you to go blind. So depending on your timing and your hangover, you can go straight from blind to drunk to just regular blind. Now, this is bad news for people who both enjoy coffee and the visual world, but don't worry, you probably, right, have to drink a lot of coffee for this to happen to you, right? Wait, no, it's four cups a

day. Uh-oh. And suddenly I cannot see. All right, here is your next limerick. While I'm young, before arteries harden, all my passions are verdant and ardent. I don't go to clubs, but stay home tending shrubs. I'd rather go work in my garden. Yes, in a new poll, 80% of adults under 24 think gardening is cool, and over half would prefer gardening to going to a club. That is so weird. You'd rather spend time outside amongst plants and flowers than making panic eyes at your friends while a drunk guy yells at you about his dad's boat? Okay, takes all kinds. This is only terrible because it means desperate bros are going to start hanging out at the gardening sections at Home Depot trying to pick up women with lines like, so you come here, mulch?

Is this because clubbing has become so expensive that they're just like, you know what? We'll just go gardening. It might be. I personally have never regretted a night of gardening, but I've definitely regretted a night of clubbing. Yeah, it's weird. You don't spend a night gardening and then wake up the next morning next to a hydrangea bush and don't know how you got there.

Could it simply be millennials can't afford food? That's real, too. That's actually an excellent point. Excellent point. Generation Y is coming out of college. They're hungry. There are no jobs available. They're like, get busy. Right.

All right. Here is your last limerick. Since I'm wanting my love life to thrive, I won't speed what it says, 55. A romance will go far if you're calm in the car. It's real hot when you're safe while you drive.

Exactly right. The sexiest drivers are not fast and furious. They're driving the speed limit and letting that guy merge. Another new survey says over half of Americans would not date an unsafe driver. And a fifth say they have broken up with someone over their terrible driving. Another fifth of Americans only stayed together because their partner promised, I can change lanes while using a turn signal

and checking my blind spots. They couldn't be talking about LA. No, clearly not. I don't know where they did this study. They did not do this study in Los Angeles because people here are still driving i mean we're back to driving like we're crazy it was the the pandemic was a great break but now la freeways are back to what they used to be so right where i don't know where they did the study but i know

where they didn't do the study but maybe this will be the thing because when you think about it you know fast driving fast and furious movies all spy movies, has always been really sexy. But maybe people don't feel that anymore. So maybe the movies will change. Maybe in the next James Bond movie, it'll be like, he's getting away, but I can't turn right on red. Between 7 a.m. and 7 p.m., you win this round of Blofeld. Bill, how did Emily do in our quiz? Emily came out of the Renaissance a big winner.

All three right. Congratulations, Emily. Well done. Thank you so much for having me. All three right. Congratulations, Emily. Well done. Thank you so much for having me. Thanks so much for playing, Emily. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Now it's time to move on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank.

Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Well, Sharla has two, Alonzo has three, and Roxanne has three. So, Sharla, that means that you are up first. Are you ready to go? Always ready. All right. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, the White House announced plans to buy half a million blanks from Pfizer with plans

to donate them worldwide. Vaccines. Right. On Monday, the Justice Department announced that had recovered over half of the ransom paid to the group behind the blank cyber attack. Oh, Russia. Colonial pipeline. This week, the man who blanked French President Macron was sentenced to four years in prison. Slapped. Yes. According to a recent study, cows who spend more time around humans have blanks. Memory? I don't know.

I don't know. They have smaller brains. But what cows don't spend time around humans? Are there wild cows? On Tuesday, Chris Harrison, the longtime host of the Blank franchise, announced he was stepping down. The Bachelor. Yes. On Sunday, Prince Blank and Megan Blank announced the arrival of their second child. Harry and Markle. Yes. This week, the Libertarian Party of New Hampshire made headlines after tweeting that Blank should be legalized. I'm just going to say weed. No, they said that child labor should be legalized.

Libertarians, you know, they're all about personal freedom, free markets. Yeah, legal weed. You bet. Child labor. Yeah. The tweet, which came from their official account, said legalize child labor and was followed by a thread that basically said, yeah, we meant to tweet this. It's a crazy decision, but it's understandable, seeing as their social media coordinator is a nine-year-old who is totally

exhausted from the coal mines. Bill, how did Charlotte do in our quiz? She did pretty good. She got four right. For eight more points, she now has ten and the lead. Alonzo, you're going to go next so you can try to intimidate

Roxanne, all right? Oh yeah, it's going to happen. It's going to happen. Here we go, Alonzo. You're going to go next so you can try to intimidate Roxanne. All right. Oh, yeah, it's going to happen. It's going to happen. Here we go, Alonzo. You're up next. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, TC Energy announced they were no longer building the controversial blank pipeline. Oh, Keystone? Exactly. On Tuesday, Vice President Harris and the president of blank met to discuss economic cooperation and border security. Mexico? Vaccines?

Snow? How did I not know that? I don't know. On Monday, Gap unveiled the first item in their billion-dollar collaboration with rapper Blank. Kanye. Yes, on Sunday, gymnast Blank won her seventh all-around championship title. Simone Biles. Yes, this week, the New York Times had to issue a correction

after they published a headline that read, Blank. Nothing? No, this headline read, Fields of Watermelon Found on Mars, Police Say. The full article read, Fields of Watermelon Found on Mars, Police Say. Authorities say, rise of fruit aliens to blame for a glut of outer space watermelons. The article, which was just a sort of test copy that was meant to there to try out a system, was pulled after an hour with the explanation, this article was published in error. That Maureen Dowd column, that was meant to there to try it a system was pulled after an hour with the explanation this article was published in error that maureen dowd column that was intentional bill how did

alonzo doing our quiz well he had four right for eight more points he now has the lead with 11 all right so how many does roxanne need to win to tie, and that means five to win. Here we go, Roxanne. This is For the Game. After talks between the White House and GOP senators collapsed, a group of bipartisan House members unveiled their own blank plan. Infrastructure. Right. On Tuesday, a Senate report said intelligence agencies failed to heed warnings about the attack on the blank. On the Capitol on January 6th. This week, President Biden took his first official overseas trip since taking office, aimed at strengthening ties with blank.

With the UK and the rest of Europe. Yes. On Wednesday, the Texas Bar opened an investigation into the state attorney general's lawsuit to overturn the blank. To overturn the election results? Yeah, to overturn the election. This week, health officials in Philadelphia announced that participants in the blank must still wear a mask. In the naked bike ride. Exactly right.

According to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, blank buildup increased despite the pandemic. Carbon gas emissions. Yeah, carbon emissions. On Sunday, the boxing match between professional troll Logan Paul and undefeated boxer Blank ended without a knockout. Floyd, uh, Meriwether. Yes. Mayweather. Mayweather, yes. This week, a fashion brand in New York unveiled their newest product, a pair of jeans that make it look like you have blanked. That make it look like you've, um, cut them up and then sewed them back together in some strange configuration. You're thinking too much. It makes it look like you have wet your pants.

On their website, the company says their wet-look, dry-feel line of jeans, quote, delivers style without the need to feel uncomfortable. They're hand-dyed, ensuring that every pair is one of a kind. We also make hats, unquote. Oh, that's so gross. It is. I'm glad I missed that one. Sure, they sound ridiculous, but what else do you get for the guy who drinks four cups of coffee a day and recently went blind?

Bill, did Roxanne do well enough to win? Well, she did very well. Seven right for 14 more points. That means with 17, she is this week's champion. Squeak one out. There you go. week's champion. Quick one out.

There you go. In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict who will get the third seat on Bezos' rocket to space. But first, let me tell you. Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me

is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Aircraft Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Godeka writes our limericks,

our house manager is Gianna Capadona, our social media superstars, Emma Choi. Our web guru is Beth Novy. BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Vinnie Thomas this week.

Our beautiful angel is Peter Gwynn. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilog, the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. It's Mike. Don't fall on the Ice, Dan Forth. Now panel, who will take that third seat on Jeff Bezos' rocket to space?

Charlo Lauriston. I think his girlfriend is going to take it, probably in exchange for not having to marry her. Roxanne Roberts. Jeff will bring a tall blonde he found on Amazon's You May Also Like recommendations. And Alonzo Bowden. You don't get to be the richest man in the world by being a fool. He's bringing a spare pilot. Well, if any of that happens, we'll ask you about it.

But wait, wait, don't tell me. Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Roxanne Roberts, Charlotte Lauriston, and Alonzo Bowden. Thanks to all of you for listening. I am Peter Sagal. We will see you next week. This is NPR.