Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - Congresswoman Eleanor Holmes Norton

Episode Date: August 27, 2022

Eleanor Holmes Norton, Washington DC's long-serving Congresswoman, plays our game about DC Comics. She is joined by panelists Roxanne Roberts, Tom Bodett and Alzo Slade.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

Hey everyone, Bill Curtis here. If you're like me and you love the panelists on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, then check out the Wait, Wait, Stand Up Tour. This fall we're doing two shows in Michigan, October 21st in Ann Arbor and the 22nd in Kalamazoo. Both shows feature some of our funniest comedians. Alonzo Bowden is the host, along with Maz Jobrani, Helen Hong, and Nagin Farsad. See them live, uncensored, and uninterrupted by Peter Sagal. For tickets and information, go to nprpresents.org. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Enough of the Beltway, step inside the Billway.

I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Wolf Trap National Park for the Performing Arts in Vienna, Virginia, Peter Sago. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. Performing Arts in Vienna, Virginia, Peter Sago. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. My gosh. How about that? Oh, you warm my heart. It is great to finally be back with you. As you may know, I took off the entire month of July from this show to spend quality time with my family having COVID together.

It was actually kind of great to be locked inside the house for a month with my wife and my toddler son, just getting to watch him grow before my eyes. For example, I got to hear him say his first words. Daddy, when are you going back to work? His first words, Daddy, when are you going back to work? Later on, we're going to be talking to the woman who for 30 years has served as Congresswoman for Washington, D.C., Eleanor Holmes Norton. She will be with us. But first, we want to hear you honorably represent your place of residence.

Give us a call. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Jackson Hawkins from Jamestown, Rhode Island. Jackson Hawkins, sir? That's me. Yeah, you sound very 19th century. I like it. Oh, thank you. What do you do there in Jamestown, Rhode Island? I just graduated college in February, and next week I'm starting an internship with the Mount Washington Observatory up in New Hampshire. Oh, wow. I'm Rhode Island. That's exciting. I happen to know this. The highest wind speed ever recorded in the United States was at the top of Mount Washington. This is true, and for a long time,

the highest wind speed in the world. Yeah. Oh, damn it. Who beat us? Some buoy in the Indian Ocean. Right. Well, welcome to the show, Jackson. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, the Peabody and Emmy Award-winning correspondent for Vice and host of the Cheat Podcast. It's Alzo Slade.

What's up, Jackson? How you doing, man? Hey, doing well. Alzo Slade. What's up, Jackson? How you doing, man? Hey, doing well. Next, it's a feature writer for the style section of a local paper here called the Washington Post.

It's Roxanne Roberts. Hey, Jackson. Hello. And a humorist who now butchers wood with the same abandon he has the English language at Hatchspace Community Workshop. More info at hatchspace.org. It's Tom Bodette. Hey, Jackson. Hi, Tom.

Welcome to the show, Jackson. You're going to play Who's Bill This Time. You knew this. Bill Curtis is going to recreate for you three wonderful quotations from the week's news. Your job, explain, identify two of them. Do that, you win any voice from our show. You might choose in your voicemail. You ready to do this? Let's do it. All right. Your first quote is a senior government health official announcing why he's retiring after 40 years on the job. It has nothing to do with all the nonsense, all the barbs, the slings, and the arrows. Who was retiring because of the barbs, nonsense, slings, and arrows?

Dr. Anthony Fauci. Yes, indeed, Dr. Anthony Fauci. The infectious disease expert received a lot of praise when he announced he was stepping down from his job. He heard from Biden, from President Obama. Even polio came out of retirement just to send him off. He already, this is true, he already has multiple offers to do a public health podcast since he has so much experience with people not listening to him.

When I heard, when I heard that Dr. Fauci was retiring, I got even more afraid of monkey pox because I'm like, well, he's been through the AIDS crisis and COVID and monkey pox. Don't forget Ebola. He did Ebola. Ebola and monkeypox shows up and this is when he takes it. Yeah. I figured that too, that that was the last straw. It was kind of like, I'm 81 years old. What is it? Monkeypox, for God's sake. I'm too old for this. Yeah. So, you know, Fauci has been doing this job so long that his first controversy was when congressional Republicans accused him of making up these germ things. I think if he was smart, and we know he is, he's out shopping for like a Barca lounger

with wheels on it that he can just wheel into the congressional hearing room and just flip up the footrest. Yeah. Pull the mic in and say, hit me. Come at me, he'll say. You know, he's unclear about why he's finally retiring. Maybe it's because he finally can pay off his student loan. All right, here is your next quote.

All right, here is your next quote. I hope that at the year 2022, it is accepted that even decision makers get to dance and go to parties. As you can tell from the extraordinarily accurate accent. Really, you nailed it, Bill. That was a 36-year-old woman in Finland named Sanna Marin saying she's got to dance even though she has what important job? Oh, she's the prime minister of Finland. She is. She is the prime minister, Sanna Marin is. First, last week, video came out of the prime minister dancing with her friends at a club.

This was deemed to be so outrageous, and this is true, she agreed to take a drug test. The results? She has rhythm, she has music, and she can't ask for anything more. Well, it's too bad Boris Yeltsin is leaving. Yeah, I know. Great international relations. You meant Johnson, but they're very close. What did I say?

Oh, I said, right. But they're very close. What did I say? Oh, I said, right. One's drunk. One seems drunk. Isn't Finland supposed to be the happiest place on earth? I've heard that, that they actually have higher levels of satisfaction. And they're mad at their elected officials dancing?

Yeah, apparently. I mean, can you imagine from the American perspective, you're so desperate for scandals, that's what you have to do? Don't we have some spares we can share with them? This week there was a whole other scandal. She had to apologize yet again when a photo on Instagram was posted of two topless women kissing at the prime minister's official residence. It's completely inappropriate. People are going to get the idea that Finland is ever warm enough to take your

tops off. It happened, the prime minister says, somewhat sheepishly, after she invited some friends back to her place after a music festival. We are all for people having fun, but it never ends well when somebody says, hey, want to come back to my official residence? Do you think this may be sort of a stealth tourist promotion? I mean, it is true. All of a sudden, I'm thinking Finland might be kind of fun. I know. Wait a minute.

This, the dancing and the topless situation, these are two separate events. Yes. Okay, now if you put them together, then... Maybe you'd be interested is what you're saying. I didn't say that, but I have comfort plus is what I'm saying. You're ready for the long flight if need be. I understand. I understand.

All right, your last quote is someone talking to the Wall Street Journal about a new trend in the workplace. I do the bare minimum to get by. So the question for you, sir, is what is this new trend called? Quiet quitting. Quiet quitting, yes, quiet quitting. Quiet quitting, it is not quitting your job. It's just refusing to do more than you were actually paid to do or to take work home or do extra work for free. It's amazing. It's amazing that it took a pandemic lockdown, the great resignation,

and a year-long labor shortage for people to finally say, wait, maybe work should end every day. Work should end every day. You're in favor of this. You're in favor of this. Everybody says quiet quitting is part of these larger social trends that are happening post-pandemic, which more of us are finding that it turns out there's much more to life than work. I think it's great. I for one like knowing my oncologist is focusing on stand-up paddleboarding. I'm glad

there's finally a phrase for how my teenage sons are. It's kinder than the ones I've been giving you. I'm looking at the three of you, and I realize the only one of you who actually has a job is Roxanne. Oh, that hurts, Peter. That hurts.

I mean, seriously, Tom, I know what your life is like. Your quiet quitting is going to do nothing in a different spot. I'm working harder now than I ever have in my life. I'm not getting paid for any of it. Tom, do not entertain this ignorance here.

Peter is being disrespectful. I agree. And I feel like we should quiet quit right now. Exactly. Bill, Bill, how did Jackson do on our quiz? He's going to take a perfect score to the top of Mount Washington.

There you go. Hold on to it. The winds are pretty serious up there. Congratulations, Jackson. Thanks so much for calling in. Hey, thank you. It was a blast. Thank you. Take care. Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Also, in what I think is the most shocking story of the week, a Yankees fan became famous through social media. After he is caught on camera in a film that went viral, he's in the stands at a Yankee game using Watt as a straw for his beer.

Bro, this dude took a straw and made a hole inside of a hot dog. Yes. And start, I don't even want to say the word, and he started to consume the drink. Yes. Through the hot dog. Through the hot dog straw. That's exactly right. That was tough to get through.

It's insane. Where do you start? First, who drinks beer through a straw? I haven't seen the video, but I wonder if this wasn't just a sequence of discoveries. Like, he's sitting there. It's probably the sixth inning, right? Right, sure.

He's bored. And he says, Baseball, of course he's bored, but go on. I wonder if I could get this straw to go all the way through the hot dog. And so he's doing that, and course he's good. But go on. I wonder if I could get this straw to go all the way through the hot dog end to end. So he's doing that, and he's making progress. He's getting there. And he cores it, right? So he gets it out, and he sucks the core out of the straw because, wow.

And then he looks at the hot dog, and he goes, oh, my God, it's now hollow. So it's really, it's a beautiful human moment. It's like a moment of, you know what? It's like the beginning of 2001 with the apes, with the sticks. It's like, no, wait a minute. You know, Tom, we were together on the quiet quitting thing, but I can't, I can't, I don't know. Coming up, the kids are all right in our Bluff the Listener game called

1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Tom Modette, Roxanne Roberts, and Alzo Slade. And here again is your host at the Wolf Trap in Vienna, Virginia, Peter Sagan. Thank you, Bill.

Thanks, everybody. Right now it's time for the Wait, Virginia, Peters, Saga. Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody. Right now it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me bluff, the listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air. Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. This is Gretchen Kronk in beautiful Traverse City, Michigan. Gretchen Kronk. I love all of our callers are from the Victorian era this week. Now Traverse City, I've been up there. That's the Cherry Capital, yes? Yes, indeed. Yeah. What do you do there?

Yep. I'm retired. Good. And catching up on reading all the books that have piled up over the years. Okay. How's that going? Slowly. Yeah, it's funny. Welcome to the show. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Gretchen's topic? My kid can help. Kids can be a big help, like when I bring my one-year-old son to the grocery store, it helps me get mistaken every time for his grandfather. It helps me get mistaken every time for his grandfather. Our panelists are going to tell you other stories of kids lending a hand. Pick the one who's telling the truth.

You will win our prize, the weight-waiter of your choice on your voicemail. Are you ready to play? Indeed. All right. Well, then let's hear first from Tom Beaudet. There are so many children, to paraphrase Ted Bundy. So why not put them to work as pedestrian crash test dummies? Tesla's full self-driving beta software has, like company founder Elon Musk, been controversial and occasionally malfunctions.

Anti-Tesla warrior Dan O'Dowd posted video of a self-guided Tesla plowing into child-sized mannequins like they weren't even there. Dowd is now demanding the National Highway Safety Administration ban full self-driving until Elon Musk, quote, proves it won't mow down children. For the record, Tesla does not yet offer a mowing attachment for any of its vehicles. Enter pro-Tesla bro Carmine Coupani, who wanted to emphatically set the record straight. So he recreated the crash test, but instead of a dummy, he used his own son.

Dad aimed the smart car downrange at his heir apparent and damned if it didn't stop in time. Now some people look at it and say, oh this dad is crazy, what is he doing, said Kupani, to which we respond, not some people, all people, every freaking one of us. A Tesla fan uses his own son to test the autopilot feature. Your next story of a little assistance from the little ones comes from Roxanne Roberts. New York actor Jeff Gilmore got the idea for his side gig while drinking a grande latte at Starbucks, where a succession of attractive young women came over to admire his infant son. One of his buddies who was with him, also an actor, watched for a few minutes and then joked,

hey, can I rent him? And a business was born. Quote, I had a really cute kid and women love men who love babies, writes Gilmore. I thought it was a win-win. My son could help my friends and I could make money on the side. He had ground rules. No nights, no bars, and absolutely no adorable animal costumes. Zach may have been a baby, but he still had his dignity. Gilmore estimates he made $300 to $500 a week for 18 months until Zach, now six years old, was old enough to talk. Gilmore writes he has no regrets. All is fair in love and war. The guy rents out his son to bachelors who want to attract the motherly types.

Your last story of children chipping in comes from Alzo Slade. Ben and Jen Lightfoot of Mesa, Arizona, suffer from a condition called walk exhaustion, which first they made up and secondly diagnosed themselves with. They say they experienced deep fatigue just from putting one foot in front of the other to get somewhere. The problem, they had one TV in the house but kept losing the remote. With no official treatment for walk exhaustion, they decided to have a child who, when old enough to walk and understand commands, would be able to locate and retrieve the TV remote upon request. The first experiment slash child, aptly named Walker, was very successful and can almost always find and

bring the remote, especially because most of the time it's sitting right there next to them in the chair. But as time went on, they got more TVs and with each one, they needed a new child. They're up to three of each at this point and forecasting holiday deals on TVs, Jen is currently hoping her fertility lines up with Labor Day. Pun intended. All right. Somebody somewhere is using their child more than just, you know, the joy of having one. From Tom Bodette, is it a big fan of Tesla who decided to show that Teslas were safe by driving it on autopilot directly at his own 11-year-old? Who, he says says is fine, from Roxanne Roberts, a guy

who's been renting out his baby by the hour to his single male friends who, like, you know, want to seem fatherly, or from Alzo, a couple who has children specifically so they can bring them the TV remote. Which of these is the real story? Oh, the first one's just too gruesome to picture. I'm going to go with Roxanne because the cost of living in New York is really high. Right. Okay, so your choice is Roxanne's story about the rent-a-baby. Well, to find out the correct answer, we spoke to a reporter covering the real story. This one Tesla superfan asked if a parent in San Francisco would be willing to test out the software on their kids. That was Grace Kay,

a reporter on the business news team at Insider, talking about the little Tesla testers. I'm sorry. Wow. I'm afraid you didn't win, but you did earn Roxanne a point for telling her story. And I want you to know you may be disappointed, but you made Roxanne the happiest she's ever been. Well, I did. Thank you so much for playing. Thank you so much. Take care.

Bye-bye. And now the game where we talk to giants of public life about the tiniest things we can think of. It's called Not My Job. Washington, D.C. has a lot of politicians in it who say they hate it. But a politician who absolutely loves Washington and is loved by it in return is Eleanor Holmes Norton, who has served as Congresswoman from the district since 1991 after being a pioneer in civil rights law. If Washington ever does

get to become a state, they'll skip the whole governor thing and immediately elect her empress. Congresswoman Norton, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. My pleasure. So I hate, I mean, I promised you a good time and I hate to jump right into scandal, but why did you release those zebras? I've been looking for them ever since. I understand. So, my understanding though is the zebras got out and for some reason some right wing publication decided it was your fault. Not true.

Are you going to deny that? I denied that. Denied, I see. We, we, I have been so impressed just learning about your, because I've known, well, basically my entire adult life, you have been the representative. Now, hold on. I want to stop right there. You've been the congresswoman from Washington, D.C.

And I know you don't like to be called the representative. Is that correct? You can be called the representative when we get statehood. Right. And you're getting somewhere. You're getting somewhere. Yeah. Now, Willie, you think that this actually might happen?

Well, it's passed the House twice. I know. We've had a hearing in the Senate. Right. We have another one coming up. We're getting there. You are looking at who will be the governor, or is it the senator, from the 51st state of the United States.

All right. Judging from the way people react to you around here, you could be both either. From the 51st state of the United States. Judging from the way people react to you around here, you could be both either. You could alternate whatever you want. You could be El Presidente. They'll give you whatever you need, I think. So why do you think that it will finally happen? And why don't you tell me your argument for Washington, D.C. statehood? We have more residents than two states are already states.

Right. I think it's Vermont and Wyoming. Vermont and Wyoming. I think so. Well, it just so happens that Tom here is a Vermont resident. Tom, would you be willing to swap? I won't ask you to do that. Yeah, yeah, yes. We'll just join Canada. That'd be great. You realize that, you know, we have such a nice flag right now with the 50 stars on the I like that.

Yeah, I know. But have you, I mean, we're going to have to get rid of a state just to keep the flag. Well, you know, we have a place, we have a flag here in the District of Columbia with 51 stars. Really? Okay. You won't be able to tell it, but it exists. Okay, it's there. It's there.

We've actually flown it on flagpoles. It's the statehood equivalent of like a middle finger right up there. It's been so long, and you've been trying this for so long. How do you keep up your hopes in this fight for statehood? Well, the way I keep up my hopes is the progress we're making. Look, when you get it through the House twice and you're doing so well in the Senate, that's enough to keep up your hopes and nothing else.

How do you deal with the Republicans who are so opposed? Do you try to kill them with kindness, or do you just try to kill them? No. Either one will do, but... Either one will do, but... We are told that one of the things you are famous for, in addition to your fierce advocacy for Washington and other causes, is your dancing.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. There are a lot of videos, people can Google it, of like Eleanor Holmes Norton dancing. Has this always been a part of your career? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm a part of your career? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm a native Washingtonian who grew up dancing in D.C.

Yeah. And that's my thing. Really? Do you? And Congresswoman, you said that you've been dancing all your life here in D.C. And I understand that you all just made a designation of Chuck Brown Day. Oh, yeah. All right.

Yeah. For people who are either not from D.C. or boring middle-aged white guys, who is that? Oh, Peter. i'm sorry peter you might as well be sucking beer through a hot dog right now i know okay peter do you know gogo i know that gogo is a thing from Washington. Yeah. And it's not the boot. It's music. Right. Yeah.

That you can't help but dance to. Right. I bet I could help. Yeah, I was about to say. Tom and I are willing to take that bet. You know what? Now that I said that, I retract my last statement. Have you seen my shovel?

Yes, I have. Well, Chuck Brown is the king of go-go music. Right. And Chuck Brown Day is coming up here in the district. How will you celebrate Chuck Brown Day? Oh, you go, you know, he stood on the Capitol steps and got everybody to dancing. And we kind of celebrated that way. Cool. I'm going to ask you one last question before we play our game. Let's say, and I hope

it's true just for the good people of Washington to become fully enfranchised Americans like the rest of us, that it happens and Washington becomes the 51st or 52nd, who cares, state. How will you, Eleanor Holmes Norton, celebrate that day? Well, with go-go music. There you go. Well, Congresswoman Norton, it is an absolute honor to have you with us, and we have some work to do.

We have asked you here to play a game we're calling Welcome to the D.C. Universe. So you, of course, have represented Washington, D.C. for decades, but the question is, what do you know about D.C. comics for non-nerds? D.C. comics is, you know, Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, those people. Answer three questions about the costumed heroes of

D.C. who will win our prize for one of our listeners, the voice of their choice on their voicemail. Are you ready to play? No. No. I like it this way. All right. That's a very good answer. Okay. All right. Bill, who is Congresswoman Norton playing for?

Andrew Yonkman of Herndon, Virginia. Here's your first question. While primarily known for, like I said, Batman, Superman, DC Comics also has a stable of lesser known superheroes, including which of these? One of these is a real superhero who appeared in a DC comic. A, the human torch but British, who was a walking flashlight. B, interrupting man who had the power to show up anywhere, anytime when someone else is speaking. Or C, dog welder who, true to his name, would weld dogs to bad guys' faces. I think, I think, this is, I'm just, this is a guess.

I don't know. I'm guessing it's not B because every man is interrupting man. My first instinct is to say none of those. Right. One of them genuinely is. One. A, you think the human think the human torch for British, because that's what they call flashlights.

He's just a flashlight. That's your choice? I'll take that choice. All right. No, it was Dog Welder. What? Honest to gosh. What?

And just to be clear, he was a good guy. All right, you still have two chances here. Here's your next question. You have two more chances. In the late 60s, DC Comics was owned by the company that would eventually spin it off and become Time Warner, which owns it now. But at the time of that buyout,

the company was mostly focused on what other business? A, selling fake x-ray glasses, B, running very large parking lots across the country, or C, performing contract undercover operatives for the U.S. military? Comic book company, but they had another business. What was that other business? God knows. I'll just take B.

You're right. It was B. You're right, it was B. Yay! That explains such famous late 60s storylines as Superman versus the unlicensed towing company. All right, third question. If you get this right, you win. DC superheroes get their powers from a lot of sources. Superman, for example, he gets his power from the sun. The villain Snowflame, Snowflame, gets his powers from where?

Eating gasoline-soaked snowballs, B, doing cocaine, or C, just believing in himself, gosh darn it? B. They like B. B? B, you're right, it's cocaine. Oh! Yes! You know, Congresswoman,

you know, Congresswoman, this says a lot about your constituency right here. They knew that answer right away. They really did. Bill, how did Congresswoman Eleanor Holmes... Two out of three, she is a dancing queen. You are. Eleanor Holmes Norton, since 1991,

has been the Congresswoman for Washington, D.C., in the House of Representatives, and if there is any justice in this world, someday she will get a vote on the floor there. Congresswoman, thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. In just a minute, Bill has a great deal on yoga pants, but there's a catch. Find out what on our Listener Limerick Challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Tom Beaudet, also Slade and Roxanne Roberts. And here again is your host, Ed Wolftrap from Vienna, Virginia, Peter Sagan. Thank you, Bill. In just a minute,

Bill parties like the Finnish rhyme minister in our listener limerick challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Also, NASA was, we all were amazed to see it, they were able to deploy the James Webb Space Telescope a million miles from Earth. But, I know were amazed to see it. They were able to deploy the James Webb Space Telescope a million miles from Earth.

But I know, it's very good. But NASA has another problem. There's this obstacle to scientific progress and exploration of our solar system that they just can't solve. What is it? They're broke? No.

Well, sometimes they are, but that's not this problem. I'll give you a hint. The problem is literally when they announce that they would like to probe this, everybody giggles. Uranus? Yes! The name of the planet Uranus, turns out, is actually a problem for NASA. Now, NASA believes, the scientists there, that the more you explore Uranus, the more amazing things you'll find. And they're like, yeah, this is a problem.

The planet has a problematic name for serious scientific inquiry. It turns out that the planet should have been named Calus. Calus. And that like the names Jupiter and Saturn, those names for gods come from the Roman pantheon. But instead, the astronomer who discovered the planet went with the Greek name for the god Uranus because he was seven years old. What's the one that's supposed to be? Calyx? That's Uranus. That sounds like where Superman would come from. Calyx. Kalos? Yeah, Kalos. That works. With a hyphen, Kalos.

The hyphen is necessary. Actually, you know what the problem is? In Greek, Kalos means enema. I don't know why. It just worked out that way. Tom, after a number of recent incidents, the New York Times reports that we are now facing an epidemic of CEOs who do what with their employees? Oh, my God.

How do we narrow this? Completely ignore them? No. It's sort of the other way, actually. Oh, like befriend them? Be their buddies? No, I'll give you an example, even though I'm not technically your boss. It's like, you know, it was interesting because I was reading about this while on the toilet. Oh, sharing their intimacy. Yes, over sharing. The idea began when this, two weeks ago, the CEO of a marketing company made headlines for announcing layoffs

on an all-staff email, and he attached to the email a photograph of himself weeping. He told reporters who asked, why did you do this? He said, well, my employees told me that they wanted me to really share with them, and the employees

told the reporter, we meant share money. So is there some, is this, it's a trend, right? So there's always a trend. Like what's behind this? I mean, what happened? Well, they're all trying to be touchy-feely. They're all trying to, you know, treat you as peers.

No hierarchy here. I'll tell you about my sores and my rash. We don't need that. Didn't we like them better when they were all d***? Maybe they should employ something called quiet working. How about that? Also, it's a great time for historians

as people have recently discovered ancient Buddhist statues, lost Nazi warships, and a centuries-old Roman bridge, all thanks to what? There is not enough moisture coming from the sky. That's right. There's the droughts that have dried up the rivers and lakes and revealing all these things. All over the world, these massive droughts are drying up lakes and rivers, and we're finding a lot of cool stuff down there. In Italy, they found this old Roman bridge

that was revealed, and that's why the Roman Empire collapsed. They built their bridges underwater. I saw somewhere that, like, these stones came up. I forget where it was in Europe. They called them the hunger stones. Right. And nobody had seen them before. They were put there like 2,000 years ago or 1,000 years ago. And it says, when these stones appear, like death to all who come or something. Yeah.

It was like ancient runes that spelled out you're screwed. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. So they were hunger stones. That's what they called them. Unveiled because of a drought. Yeah. Right. They should have been called thirsty stones. Yeah, exactly. So they were hunger stones. That's what they're called. Unveiled because of a drought. Yeah, right.

They should have been called thirsty stones. Right, right. Low water levels in the Danube revealed a sunken Nazi ship carrying 10,000 explosives. See, what happened was when they were covered with water, we could not see them.

That's what you got? I think my writers have quietly quit. They wrote that at 5.01 p.m. Exactly. Coming up, it's lightning fill-in-the-blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924.

Also, the Wait, Wait stand-up tour is coming to a city near you this fall, as long as you live near Portland, Oregon, Eugene, Oregon, or Dallas, Texas. Tickets and info are at nprpresents.org. Hi, everyone. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Hi, this is Zecklin calling from the Twin Cities. What do you do there in the Twin Cities, one of my favorite places? I just graduated, and I work in a cancer research lab now studying cancer therapeutics.

Oh, wow. Geez. Well, thanks again for giving me nothing to make a joke about. That's nice. Well, Ducklin, welcome to the show. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. Here is your first limerick. Heady concepts I'm constantly linking. Now my eyelids get heavy while blinking.

My synapses fired and I grew real tired. Too much of my day was spent... Thinking. Thinking, yes. According to a new study, you can avoid fatigue simply by thinking less. You need more energy? Just be happy and think about nothing. Stop trying to be a tiger, be a golden retriever. The research finds, this is great, that intense cognitive activity, just like, you know, physical exercises, causes buildup of potentially toxic

byproducts in your brain. Your body responds by making you feel tired, so you stop thinking or just fall asleep. This makes no sense because three nights ago, I got into bed and started thinking about how I said that thing at that party in 2019, and I have not slept since. How do you stop thinking? Because if you try to stop thinking, you're thinking about stopping thinking. Stopping thinking, right. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Here's your next limerick. These old yoga pants once were refused, but now secondhand flaws are excused. Inflation is real, so I'll go for the deal.

And now I'll wear anything used. Used, yes. Secondhand workout clothing is becoming much more popular including you know used workout gear like yoga pants sports bras and a t-shirt somebody wore while drinking a keto diet smoothie because hey that counts now

so is there um so like the second hand stores now you can can you donate I got a lot of used uh workout clothes people are buying like used-end exercise clothing. Oh, high-end? Yeah, so it's like Lululemon, but it's...

I feel like if it's used, it's no longer high-end. Right? Well... Right? After raising three boys, I got a whole cupboard full of jock straps. I mean, I hold on them for sentimental reasons. Of course. They should probably go. No elasticity in them anymore.

You got to wear a belt. How could you throw them away with all the memories? Oh, yeah. Oh, look, they were so small. All right. Here is your last limerick. Since windmill blades only take some repairs, we'll reuse them and turn them to yummy

wares. When they start to turn very slow, we'll send them to Harrybo. We will turn the old blades into gummy bears? Gummy bears, yes! Scientists have found a way to

replace fiberglass windmill blades with ones made from a composite resin. And then when they're out of service, they can be broken down and reused into various products, including gummibears. True. Gummibears made from windmill blades. So look for Haribo's new smashed bird flavor in a store near you. Those things are huge, those blades. They're very large, yeah. You can get quite a few gum you. Those things are huge. They're very large. You can get quite a few gummy bears out of them.

Bill, how did our guest do on our quiz? Declan got it three in a row. Winner. Congratulations. Declan, thank you so much for playing. Take care. Good luck here in cancer. So we're all traveling again and people are dreaming,

visiting cities like Paris or Tokyo or Rio. And all those places are fine, I suppose. But do any of them have Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me live at the Studebaker Theater? May know, as they say in one of those places. Come to Chicago, see Wait, Wait live, and then with the rest of your time, well, I'm told the Cubs are rebuilding. That sounds exciting. More information at nprpresents.org. All right, now it's time to move on to our final game. Lightning fill in the blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Alzo and Rock each have three. Tom has two. All right. So, Tom,

that means you're definitely going first. Here we go, Tom. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, President Biden announced he was forgiving $10,000 in blank debt for most borrowers. Student loan? Yes. This week, California announced a plan to ban the sale of new gas-powered blanks by 2035. Cars?

Yes. On Wednesday, Jill Biden said she tested positive for blank in a rebound case. COVID? Yes, just one day after posting the headline, Sylvester Stallone covers up tattoo of his wife with tattoo of his dog, People magazine reported blank. Um, it was the other way around. No, they reported, quote, Sylvester Stallone's wife files for divorce.

Blaming U.S. COVID policies, unvaccinated tennis star Blank announced he was withdrawing from the U.S. Open. Oh, I can never think of the guy's name. Dan Dandjik? Dan Dandjik? It's an N and a D. Yeah, I'll give it to you. It's Novak Djokovic. Thank you.

On Sunday, the debut of the latest show in the Blank universe broke HBO viewing records. Oh, in the Game of Thrones. Yes, this week a man on a train in Australia was photographed with a reminder to blank written on his hand. To breathe. No, he had a reminder on his hand that said, send breakup email. You know what it is? The day gets busy. You have to find a way to remind yourself of the little things like going to the grocery store

or ending your long-term relationship in a really impersonal and cold way. After the picture was posted online, people were furious that the man could be so heartless, but it could have been worse. to the grocery store or ending your long-term relationship in a really impersonal and cold way. After the picture was posted online, people were furious that the man could be so heartless, but it could have been worse. The note could have said, remember to ghost a girlfriend. Bill, how did Tom do in our quiz? Five right, 10 more points. 12 gives him the lead. All right. Okay, Alzo, you're up next. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, the White House announced another $3 billion in military aid to blank. Ukraine? Right. This week, Vanessa Bryant was awarded $16 million in a lawsuit over photos of blank's helicopter crash.

Kobe Bryant. Right. According to a recently unearthed interview, Ozzy Osbourne swore off taking acid after bandmates caught him blanking for an hour. Eating a rat. No, having a conversation with a horse. On Tuesday, NASA released sound. Same thing. Kind of.

No. On Tuesday, NASA released sound they had gathered from inside a blank. Black hole. Right. On Sunday, Dennis Rodman said he was going to go to Russia to help free WNBA star blank. Brittany Griner. Right. This week, emergency responders in California were shocked after they got a 911 call from blank.

A cat stuck in a tree. No, from a monkey at the local zoo. San Luis Obispo. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah, San Luis Obispo dispatchers say they received a 911 call from a phone registered to the local zoo, but it quickly hung up. They called the zoo back. Dispatchers say they received a 911 call from a phone registered to the local zoo, but it quickly hung up. They called the zoo back. Officials there said a monkey had stolen an employee's cell phone and accidentally dialed 911.

That's... You know what he said? What? I got the pox, man. I got the pox. Bill, how did Alzo do in our quiz? Very, very close. He got four right, eight more points, totaled of 11. One behind Tom.

All right. That won't last. All right, here we go. This is the big moment. How many does Roxanne need to win? Five to win. All right, Roxanne, here we go. This is for the game.

On Tuesday, a federal jury convicted two men over a plot to kidnap the governor of blank. Michigan. Right. This week, the school board in blank voted unanimously to fire their police chief uvalde texas right this week donald trump called on the gop to replace blank as senate leader mitch mcconnell right according to a new study from israel pfizer's blank pill has no benefit in young adults um uh the the covid right on wednesday drought conditions drought conditions in Texas revealed 113 million-year-old blank tracks.

Dinosaur tracks. Yes. And the continued devaluation cryptocurrency blank fell below $22,000 on Monday. Bitcoin. Right. This week, two bald men at a concert in England got in a fight because one of them claimed that the other was blanking. Copying him. No. Obstructing his view with the glare

from his bald head. I say to them, my brothers, let us live in peace. Bill, did Roxanne do well enough to win? Roxanne was back. Six right, 12 more points, total of 15, and the win. Yay! In just a minute, we're points, total of 15, and the win. Yay. In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists, after quiet quitting, what will be the next office trend?

Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, benevolent overlord. Philip Godeka writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shana Donald. B.J. Liederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills,

Miles Dernbos, and Lillian King. A big thanks to our producer, Nancy Seichau, who is moving on to bigger and better things, which coming from our show could mean literally anything. Our production assistant is Sophie Hernandez-Semianides. Special thanks to Blythe Robertson this week. Peter Gwynn is our designated survivor. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer

you see in Chilag and the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mr. Michael Danforth. Now panel, what will be the next workplace trend to take off? Alzo Slade. No longer disguising an office speak what you really want to say to your co-workers. Well, you send an email that says, per the last email sent. But what you really want to say is, I already addressed this, so don't you ask me again. Roxanne Roberts. Obnoxious odors. Workers forced to return to cubicles will wear smelly clothes,

cultivate bad breath, and microwave fish in the lunchroom, all in a desperate attempt to be able to work from home again. And Tom Bodette. To shield quiet quitters from being fired, right-to-work laws across the country will be changed to right-not-to-work laws. Ta-da! Well, if any of that happens, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Alzo Slade, Roxanne Roberts, and Tom Beaudet. Special thanks to Sarah Beasley, the entire staff here at Wolfgrab, the finest stage crew in the National Park System, our fabulous audience who came out to spend some time with us here in this beautiful place. Thanks to all of you for listening at home. I am Peter Sagal. I'm glad to be back with you, and we will be back again next week. This is NPR.