Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - Elaine Welteroth

Episode Date: November 23, 2019

Elaine Welteroth, journalist, joins us along with panelists Paula Poundstone, Roxanne Roberts, and Joel Kim Booster.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm not a turkey, but I still say gobble, gobble, gobble, Curtis. And here is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. Thank you all so much. Later on, we're going to be talking to the fabulous young Elaine Walter-Roth. She's from Project Runway and Teen Vogue. But before we start, we're very proud to tell the world that we here in Chicago now have the largest Starbucks store in the world. It's true.

35,000 square feet. It's got three stories and only one bathroom. But you won't have to wait in line to play our games. Give us a call. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Leah O'Malley calling from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

Hey, how are things in Pittsburgh? It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood. You guys must be very excited. There's this new movie with Tom Hanks playing your most famous native son, Mr. Rogers. Yes, we're so excited here. What do you do there in Pittsburgh? I do a lot of things. I'm a school counselor, I'm a mom and a wife, and I'm training to be a yoga teacher on the side. Because you have so much free time. That's right.

Welcome to our show, Leah. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First, it's a comedian performing New Year's Eve in San Francisco at the Sidney Goldstein Theater. The host of the podcast Nobody Listens to Paula Poundstone. It's Paula Poundstone. Yay! Next, it's a features writer

for the style section of the Washington Post. It's Roxanne Roberts. Hi, Leah. Hi. And making his debut on our panel, it's a comedian you can see in Sunnyside, and now streaming on Hulu.

His podcast is Urgent Care. That's on Earwolf. Welcome Joel Kim Booster. Hi, Leah. Well, welcome to the show, Leah. You're going to play Who's Bill this time. Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from the week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you'll win our prize.

Any voice from our show you might choose for your voicemail. You ready to play? I am ready. All right. Here's your first quote, which we heard read aloud at a congressional hearing this week. Zelinsky loves your ass. That was something that we now learned

that a man named Gordon Sondland said to whom? Trump? Yes, he said it to Trump. Yes. On Wednesday, we met the man at the center of the Ukraine scandal, Ambassador Gordon Sondland.

Almost immediately, he threw the entire Trump administration under the bus, although this being the Trump administration, they insisted on being thrown under a private jet. The amazing thing was, as he implicated the president in high crimes along with all of his senior aides and cabinet members, he seemed to be having so much fun. He was laughing and smiling, just like they did back in Watergate, you know? There's a cancer on the presidency, and it's fabulous. Now, the other star of the week was former NSC staff member Fiona Hill. She is a British-born Russia expert. This is a woman who, and this is a true

story, when she was a girl in class taking a test, some boy behind her set her pigtails on fire. And this is true. She reached back, put it out with her hand, and then just proceeded to continue to ace the test. This is true. But the most amazing part of that story, that boy behind her is now president of the United States. It's been a real banner week for, like, severe, unflappable ladies. It really is, yes. And I, oh, God, I just want, for my birthday, I would like Fiona Hill to testify against me, you know? Really?

Yeah, I would pay money for that. I'd be like, yes, drag me more. It sounds like a Broadway show, Severe Unflappable Ladies. What's weird is that despite there's all this very sort of hostile energy, how orderly Schiff keeps it. So, like, at the end of every hearing,

Republican Devin Nunes, the ranking member, he makes this bizarre rant tearing apart the Democrats and accusing Schiff of all these things. And afterwards, Schiff just says, I thank the gentleman. This is a witch hunt led by a dishonest warlock named Adam Schiff, whose mom looks like an old ham. I thank the gentleman.

You know, if he's not wearing one of those dog thunder vests, I don't know how he's doing it. What you can't see is that underneath the dais, there's this little stuffed animal that Schiff has torn to pieces. All right, Leah, here is your next quote. You're literally a widowed baby. That was somebody on Twitter criticizing Peter Buttigieg. All right, Leah, here is your next quote. You're literally a widowed baby. That was somebody on Twitter criticizing Peter Buttigieg

as he participated in what big event on Wednesday? Oh, the Democratic debate. Yes, right. Very good. The Democrats debated once again on Wednesday with nine contenders and Tom Steyer taking the stage in Atlanta. It was the first debate since Mayor Pete Buttigieg took a lead in the Iowa polls and everybody was gunning for him. They resent his popularity and his youth. Did you know that the year Buttigieg started high school, Bernie Sanders was already 96 years old?

Bernie Sanders was already 96 years old? All of the candidates want to prove they're best equipped to take Trump on, right? You know, Senator Kamala Harris says, I'm a prosecutor. Elizabeth Warren, you know, she has this depth of knowledge. Buttigieg has the advantage that Trump will accidentally confuse him with Barron

and be nice to him. Oh, I wouldn't count on that. We have been reading, though, about how much the other candidates are just annoyed by him. Because like Kamala Harris... He leaves his toys out. That's one of the problems. I know. You're not

going to be allowed to canvas, Mayor Pete, unless you pick up your toy. That's right. Elizabeth Warren nearly killed herself tripping over his Legos at the debate the other night. Well, they're annoying because, like, they're senators and stuff, and they've won statewide office.

And as somebody pointed out, Pete Buttigieg won the office of mayor of South Bend the first time with 8,000 votes. Not by 8,000 votes. With 8,000 votes. Wow. More people vote for the winning butter sculpture at the Iowa State

Fair. And the butter sculpture is also beating Amy Klobuchar. Now, you're the youngest one on the panel. Do you like Mayor Pete? No. You don't?

No. I feel he gives me very much like the worst R.A. energy. He's totally going to narc you out. Hey, guys, I don't want to put rain on anyone's parade, but could we keep the music down a little bit? You know, it's like you're two years older than me. What's wrong with you? He's like he's the person at your like the high school party who'd be upstairs talking to your parents, you know.

You know, in their native language. I hadn't really thought about it that way, but you're right. In fact, he is using all of his babysitting money to do this campaign, which I just think is bold. All right, your last quote is from an upcoming movie. It's called Turkey Drop. I have something I need to talk to you about. That was The Boyfriend in Turkey Drop,

a movie about the latest trend in dating when people come home for Thanksgiving and do what? Break up with their significant other. That's exactly right. This is apparently a thing now. Food isn't the only thing to look forward to this Thanksgiving because, you know, that's the traditional time for, we are told, the turkey drop when college freshmen come home

and break up with their high school sweethearts. This happens all the time. Kids go to college. They realize that everybody there is far more interesting and attractive than the person they left back home. Sorry, Brian. You're special, but you're not Cal State University Fresno special. So they've gone to college.

They fly home or take the bus home or something. It's the first time back. So like eight weeks after they started so they're 8 weeks into college and they know who they are now they've gotten yelled at by their RA Pete Buttigieg a couple times for smoking in the stairwell

they've stayed up all night and no one has yelled at them they've lied to their parents multitudinous times no they didn't have to lie because now they're on their own they're adults their own. They're adults now. No one can tell them what to do.

Keep feeding that lie to the children. Don't worry, if you miss your chance to do the turkey drop, you can still catch the Hanukkah heave. Don't buy eight candles. We won't get to them. Bill, how did Leah do on our quiz? She did quite well. She got them all right.

Congratulations, Leah. Thanks so much for playing. Thanks. Bye-bye. Bye, Leah. Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Joel, the Wall Street Journal reports that more and more vacationers are paying for special private tours complete with guides to help the tourists get what?

Lost. No, that would be contrary to the purpose of a guide. But don't you, I love going to a city and getting lost in the city, but my phone makes it so easy to not get lost that I end up at a Starbucks, you know? I need another hint. Well, you have to bring your own selfie stick. Oh, to take pictures of you.

Yes, the guides help you get really good Instagram photos. I think it's better when you back off the edge of the Grand Canyon by yourself. That's true. Instagram tours in places like Spain, Indonesia, and France ensure you will get the best shots and be the worst person in Spain, Indonesia, and France. For about $100,

locals will take you to the most photogenic spots early in the morning when the light is good and before, you know, those gross other people get there. The tours are full service. They will digitally touch up your photos for you, and this is true. The guide will act as a shield so you can change into different outfits

for different shots. That's great, though. People should do this all over in no time you'll be telling friends, look how hot I looked at Chernobyl. Why, you practically glow. coming up love is in the air and our bluff the listener game call 1-triple-8 wait wait to play we'll be back in a minute with more of wait wait don't tell me from npr from npr and wbec chicago this is wait wait Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz.

I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Joel Kim Booster, Paula Poundstone, and Roxanne Roberts. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thank you so much. Peter Sago. Thank you, Bill. Thank you so much.

It's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff Listener Game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game in the air. Before we get to that, we are very excited to announce the Wait, Wait Stand-Up Tour. You love our panelists, and now you can see them without all those pesky FCC rules and regulations. Our first show is coming up on Friday, February 28th in Austin, Texas. There you can see Maz Jobrani, Alonzo Bowden, Helen Hong, and Maeve Higgins at the Paramount Theatre in Austin for a night of live comedy. Tickets are on

sale right now at austintheatre.org. Hey, it's time to play the bluff game. Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Mike from Saskatoon, Saskatchewan in Canada. Saskatoon? Yeah. So what do you do there in Saskatoon? I am a records clerk for the federal government. For the federal government of Canada? That is correct. Yes. So I don't have to worry about the government shutting down because they run out of money or anything. Oh, no, no. Okay. Stop lording it over us, you

haughty Canadian. Welcome to our show, Mike. You're going to play the game of which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what's Mike's topic? I'm in the mood, Peter. Everybody has their trusted aphrodisiacs, maybe oysters, maybe champagne, maybe for Devin Noon's nude photos of Donald Trump. This week, we heard about something new getting people in the mood.

Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the one who's telling the truth and you'll win the weight-waiter of your choice on your voicemail. Are you ready to play? Yes, absolutely. All right, first let's hear from Roxanne Roberts. The way to a man's heart, well, not his heart, but this is public radio, isn't sexy underwear or talking dirty. The real aphrodisiac, especially for young singles, is chicken parmigiana. Carly Spivak tells the New York Post that she first noticed the trend on dating app Hinge where a number of men mentioned the classic Italian meal as the perfect date dish. Parm superfan Johnny Adler, 25, explains that this is chicken parm season, which starts in October, peaks during the holidays, and lasts until May when singles want comfort food. Quote, we see a lot of first dates, says Jeff Zelensnick, owner of Parm, Italian restaurant,

although other singles believe the dish isn't appropriate until the third or fourth date. Which brings us to the real question. Do you like your parm with chicken breasts or chicken thighs? Chicken parmesan is the thing that's getting everybody hot and heavy. That's from Roxanne. From Joel Kim Booster, here is your next story of a sure thing. While a pimple has not been traditionally associated with love and romance,

a new study suggests that for some people, popping a zit or even a carbuncle is the new chocolate and oysters. I know it's gross, Katie Lareda says of her newfound aphrodisiac, but whenever I see a big juicy zit on my husband's nose and I bust it open, it's like, I did did that and power is sexy. While this method of arousal works wonders for Katie, her husband sees things a little bit differently. It made me dread sex, he confided flatly.

I used to say I'd do anything to get her in the mood, but now when I see her get that look in her eyes, I tell her I'm tired, cover up my entire body with the blanket, and hope she thinks I'm asleep. Popping pimples is what turns some people on. Your last story of a new way

to get in the mood comes from Paula Poundstone. Studies find that attending an auction creates sexual desire. According to surveys of auction goers, after a nerve-wracking $18.5 million bid on a Queen Dynasty face was surpassed by a breathtaking $19 million bid, over 60% of the attendees engaged in sexual congress within 60 minutes of the auction's close within a 12 mile radius of the auction house after a David Cassidy guitar

used in the taping of the Partridge Family episode when Danny tried to go solo held at a price of $2,250 at a Sotheby's auction and skipped up to $2,500 a split second before the gavel landed at going three times. A whopping 70% of auction attendees climaxed, often yelling, sold within 30 minutes of the auction's close within a seven-mile radius of the auction house. Among silent auction attendees at the John Muir Middle School in Venice, California, where a strong $50 bid for lunch with the principal was eclipsed by a $50.50 bid just

before the auctions closed, 21% engaged in intense hugging with their partners within 48 hours of the auction's close within a three-mile radius of the school cafeteria. When one considers that these were parents of middle school students, it's out and out hot. So, one of these three things we are reliably told is the new thing to get people in the mood for romance. Is it, from Roxanne Roberts, Chicken Parmesan, of all things, from Joel popping pimples,

or from Paula Poundstone bidding at auctions? Which of these is the thing that is the new aphrodisiac? Paula's story was very convincing, but I think I'm going to have to go with the Parmesan. Chicken Parmesan. Yeah. That probably makes sense in Canada anyway. All right, you've chosen Roxanne's story of chicken Parmesan.

Well, we spoke to somebody who actually has reported on this remarkable new trend in dating. There's a chicken dish for every part of our romantic lives, and New York City cannot get enough of chicken Parmesan. That was Susie Weiss. She's the features reporter at the New York Post cannot get enough of chicken parmesan. That was Susie Weiss. She's the features reporter at the New York Post talking about her story about chicken parm amongst the singles. Congratulations, Mike. You got it right.

You earned a point for Roxanne, which she always appreciates. But you've won our prize. Thank you so much. So when you're going out doing the various things you do in Saskatoon, one of us will answer your phone for you. Congratulations. Thank you. Congratulations. Thank you so much. And now the game where smart people get asked about dumb things.

It's called Not My Job. When Elaine Walteroth was a little kid, and I stress this was in the 1990s, she and her friends created their own fashion magazine. It was her obsession. And she got to pursue that obsession for a living when she became the youngest editor ever at Condé Nast and the first African-American editor at Teen Vogue.

Now she's a judge on Project Runway. She has a new memoir out. Elaine Walteroth, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Woo-hoo! Thanks for having me. I usually ask people where they are, but I'll ask you because of your business. Who are you wearing?

Well, now I am in my high school sweatshirt that I designed when I was class president, senior year. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, it's pretty embarrassing. Why is that embarrassing? That's so cool. Seniors in Wonderland, and it was inspired by Alice in Wonderland. This is like a theme, like your prom theme or something like that?

It was our Spirit Week theme. Oh, wow. I was really interested to read in your memoir that this is what you've always wanted to do when you were a little girl. You were really into fashion and fashion magazines. Is that the case? That's true. I was raised in a very small town far, far away from the fashion world. And I think I was just intrigued by the fantasy that the fashion world represented. I just absorbed my mom's magazines every month when they came in the mail before she got to read them.

Then I decided when I was a little kid in fourth grade to make my own. And so I drew pictures of fashionable women on construction paper. And then I proceeded to wrap the construction paper in saran wrap for the glossy feel. Oh, really? So that was your magazine, to make the glossy paper. Okay, that's cool. Were you always in the cover, just like Oprah and her magazine? No.

No, no, no. You became the editor of Teen Vogue at, like, the age of 27? 29. 29, excuse me. Yes. Okay. And Teen Vogue, a few years ago, I mean, all of a sudden it seemed to go from like, oh, how to impress your boyfriend with makeup to how to seize the means of production.

It seemed like a really fascinating transformation. And did you guys get any pushback on that when you were writing about politics and issues of culture and stuff like that rather than, you know, prom dresses and such? Of course we did. But, you know, those weren't the people we were catering to. I think any time you're going through a transformation of sorts, you're pretty much prepared to lose some folks who were the loyalists that were coming to the magazine for just that one thing you used to be.

Did you get pushback from Condé Nast when you put Bernie Sanders on the cover? I did not put Bernie Sanders on the cover. I put Hillary Clinton on the cover, and I'll have you know that Anna Wintour is very good friends with Hillary, and she was very supportive of that decision, thankfully. You mentioned Anna Wintour. She, of course, is the infamous, I'll say, editor of Vogue. Isn't she what?

Devil Wears Prada. You said you she what? Devil Wears Prada? You said you had seen the Devil Wears Prada. This is like this huge novel and then a movie. It's like, were you intimidated? And you were like, yes, I want to be that person. Of course I was intimidated. When I saw that movie, I had no intention on working for Vogue. I never thought I would have the opportunity to.

So of course, when I did get that job, I was incredibly intimidated. And, and then I got there and I realized, you know what? Everybody is just a human being just like me. And they were kinder than I expected. I actually think that people at Vogue got a bad rap on that, uh, on that film and it, they weren't all devils in Prada. They were in Prada, though. Did you feel obligation, though, as editor of a Vogue magazine to occasionally destroy someone's life just

to keep up the image? I did not. Did you say that before you were the editor, you were the beauty director? Yes, that's right. What does that mean? Like, what would be your role? What would be your chores? Like, you went in at 9 o'clock and you did what to direct the beauty?

Well, in every magazine, there are different sections and obviously there's the beauty and health section that was my, you know, piece of the pie. And so we would write feature length stories about all things beauty and yeah there were definitely perks of the job i i had a beauty closet which you know had friends

come and indulge in they would dive in there and you know i'm sorry i forget my i was the girl with the best christmas gift for my family for a number of years i'll just say that what is inside your beauty closet um everything shampoo conditionerampoo, conditioner, body wash, expensive lotions, anti-aging cream, sunscreen, hair color, lipstick. You had anti-aging cream?

People sent me everything. You'd be surprised. Did you use the anti-aging cream? How do you think I look this good? There you go. Are you enjoying being on Project Runway? Oh, go. Are you enjoying being on Project Runway?

Oh, my God. I love being on Project Runway. It is so much fun. I used to watch that many years ago with my daughters, but are you like a mean judge or a nice judge? I'm a keep it real judge. What does that mean? I've seen it.

I've seen the show, Peter, and it means that she's vicious. When necessary. No, no, no. She's vicious. When necessary. No, no, no. She's great. She's really nice. But then, unless you're bad, and then she tells you the truth. And then I just tell you like it is.

What's the most cutting thing you've ever said to an aspiring designer? Oh, my God. Someone needs to check my receipts on this. I usually block it all out. I don't know. I'd have to think about it. But I think I've just been very direct in saying that you might like that i do not and in terms of this competition you're out

if you can't remember the meanest thing you say can you remember the strangest thing you saw on the runway uh i remember some pasties that look a lot oh tight. Oh, God, yeah, those were awful. Do you know what I'm talking about? I'm sorry, pasties? Wait a minute, hold on. Hold on, oh, hey, pasties? Yes, pasties. Like strippers wear in, like, 1950s movies? Like tassels, yes, nipple tassels.

Somebody sent a model out on Project Runway wearing pasties? Yep. Lime green ones. Whoa. They looked like lime green pepperoni slices. There were lime, are you sure they weren't actually lime slices?

I mean, and what did you say to the designer who sent out an otherwise wearing lime green cases? I think actually Brandon Maxwell took this one, and I think he said, why, girl? I think you said, you're lucky you're safe this week and can't be eliminated. Whoa, Joe, you're a fan. Aficionado.

You know, I am deeply depressed and don't have a lot of time. So I just sit at home and watch reality shows. Well, welcome to the show, Elaine. We are delighted to have you here. And we have asked you here to play a game we're calling... Teen Vogue meet Old Vogue. So you edited Teen Vogue. So we thought we'd ask you about a magazine

with a very different demographic, the magazine of the AARP. You answer two out of three questions right, and you'll win our prize, the voice of your choice in your voicemail, for one of our listeners. Bill, who is Elaine Walteroth playing for? Marianne Bishop of Cordova, Alaska.

All right, you ready to play, Elaine? Let's do it. I'm scared. First question, the AARP magazine has what important distinction? A, it is the only magazine ever to feature Larry King on its cover 14 times. B, it is the most popular magazine

in America. Or C, it invented the centerfold. I think B. B, it is the most popular magazine in America. And you are correct. It is the most popular magazine in America. And you are correct. It is the most popular magazine in America. Every member of the AARP gets it.

That's millions and millions of people. Next question. I know my magazine. You do. The editor-in-chief of AARP, the magazine, has a resume perfect for his current job. It includes which of these? A, he edited Hunter S. Thompson.

Excuse me Excuse me You alright? There is a streak of cruelty in your judging Just sneezing Alright Among his qualifications to edit AARP the magazine is which of these? A. Editing Hunter S. Thompson for Rolling Stone magazine for 20 years

B. 14 years working as a senior health aide is which of these? A, editing Hunter S. Thompson for Rolling Stone magazine for 20 years, B, 14 years working as a senior health aide, or C, he is 37 years old and he's married to Claire Bloom, 88. Oh, my God. It better not be the last one. Why not? Because he's not even old enough to get the magazine at 37.

Okay, I think it's A. You're right. Robert Love worked at Rolling Stone for 20 years. He edited Hunter S. Thompson, Tom Wolfe, and P.J. O'Rourke. Last question. AARP, the magazine, features a lot of articles about health for seniors, including which of these? A, going to bed at 7 is the new black. B, why you are suddenly hairy there,

or C, interview with a prostate, the misunderstood gland. Oh. Alright, guys. I'm calling on my panelist here, I mean my panel here, because it's either B or C, I think. What do you guys think?

So just a B was why you're suddenly hairy there, and C is interview with a prostate, the misunderstood gland. I think it's B because I think the staff, the guys, liked to say the misunderstood prostate. So I would just C. All right, this is going to be tough, but I'm going to go with B. B, why you're suddenly hairy there? No, the answer is interview with a prostate.

No! Damn! If you're wondering what the prostate says, it says, and I quote, I'm a prostate and I live alone just in front of Joe's rectum. What's to know? Unquote. Oh, God. He's a talkative

little prostate. Bill, how did Elaine do in our quiz? Two out of three. Elaine, you won. Congratulations! Elaine Walderoth is a Elaine doing our quiz. Two out of three. Elaine, you won. Congratulations! Elaine Walteroth is a judge right now in the new season of Project Runway. Her new book, More Than Enough, is available now.

Elaine Walteroth, thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Bye, Elaine. Have so much fun with you guys. Bye-bye now. Bye-bye. Take care. In just a minute, Bill looks for love in the monkey house. It's a romantic listener limerick challenge.

Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Joel Kim Booster, Roxanne Roberts, and Paula Poundstone. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. In just a minute, Bill serves up some of his famous key rhyme pie

in the Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, a panel of some more questions for you from the week's news. Roxanne, the state of South Dakota spent half a million dollars in a new anti-drug campaign that they unveiled this week. Oh, my God. Can I say it?

What's the snappy slogan? I'm on meth. You're so close. Paula? It's we're on meth. No! You're both almost there. I'm going to give're so close Paula It's we're on meth No You're both almost there I'm going to give it to Roxanne

But the actual slogan is Meth We're on it Yeah, yeah, yeah Well, I heard the governor say I'm on meth Well, that was just That wasn't the slogan

That was a good question It's her That was a hot mic Her being honest Not since Nancy Reagan's Just say hell yes campaign That wasn't the slogan. It's her. That was a hot mic. Not since Nancy Reagan's Just Say Hell Yes campaign has an anti-drug message gone so wrong. Governor Kristi Noem launched the campaign last week

and when she said, Meth, we're on it, America said, Clearly. It was ridiculed across the country except in North Dakota, which quickly launched a sister campaign. Meth.

Don't Bogart it. They all look so happy in the posters. That's the problem. Yes. Every time you look at one, you're like, well, maybe I should try it. I don't know. It has the same cadence as, what was the ads where it was like, bah, it's what's for dinner. Beef.

Beef. That's what you're thinking of. Yes. Meth. It's what's for dinner. Beef. Beef. It's what's for dinner. Meth, it's what's for dinner. And breakfast and lunch. Paula, there was a huge debate that broke out amid the impeachment inquiry. It's about a live TV hit

with Chris Matthews of MSNBC and Congressman Eric Swalwell. People are still trying to figure out exactly who did what. Head gasp. Exactly right. The scandal is now called Fartgate. I think this really speaks to like how overwrought we are. We're desperate for something else to turn our attention to. It is sad and a little pathetic and of course a little gross. Let's talk about it at length. I don't know.

I kind of loved it. I sort of looked at that and I was like, this is the most star power I've seen out of Swalwell. I know. He really held the room. Let me, let's, of course, it's better with audio. Here is, if you will, the Zapruder tape of Fartke. The president used taxpayer dollars to ask the Ukrainians to help him cheat an election. We did not enhance that in any way and a lot of people have pointed to that weird pause whilst walwell was speaking did he pause because well frankly he momentarily had some other business to attend to. What did they claim? I think the cover up here. As it were.

Yes. The cover up was that a mug had been dragged. MSNBC. They actually had to address this. This was a crisis. No, they didn't. They said, no, no, no, nobody farted. That was merely a mug, a handsome hardball mug being dragged across a desk. You're like, come on. The only way a mug made that noise is if someone filled it with chili and chugged it right before the interview. It was definitely not a mug. Jet fuel can't melt steel beams.

Exactly. Epstein wasn't, didn't commit suicide. It's up there suicide It's up there It's up there with all three of those Swalwell has denied it He said he didn't even hear it But the problem is Let's hear it again

I want you to hear it If we could slow it down a little bit The president used taxpayer dollars To ask the Ukrainians to help him cheat In an election Right so if he wasn't Why didn't he keep talking use taxpayer dollars to ask the Ukrainians to help them cheat an election. Right. So if he wasn't, I mean, so like, why didn't he keep talking? You got to talk through it. That's the secret. You got to talk through it. You know what? It did sound like a mug being dragged.

Oh, come now. Who got to you, Paula? Yeah. got to you, Paula. Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Or click the Contact Us link on our website,

waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows right here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago. And if you want more Wait Wait in your week, check out the

Wait Wait quiz for your smart speaker. It's out every Wednesday with me and Bill asking you questions all in the comfort of your home or wherever you have

your smart speaker. It's just like this radio show, only now we can hear you. Or we admit we can hear you. Hi, you're on Wait Wait Wait, Don't Tell Me. This is Kevin Gale from Minneapolis, Minnesota.

Hey, how are things in Minneapolis, my former home, at one point? Well, it snowed last Thursday, so not the best, not the worst. You can't be surprised if you live there. Every year. Yeah, it happens. It just happens. What do you do there? I'm actually a second-year medical student at the University of Minnesota. Oh, that's great.

You're a gopher doctor. Well, not a doctor for gophers. Not quite, yeah. Yeah, I know. What kind of medicine do you want to do? I would say, is NPR looking for a house doctor? You want to cater to the smug. Okay.

Well, welcome to the show, Kevin. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly and two of the limericks, you will be a winner. You ready to play? Yes, sir. All right. Here is your first limerick. Against humans, a grudge, I am nursing. Because of you, all my monkey dates worsen. Because of you, all my monkey dates worsen. Ape ladies won't swipe for a Todd, Chad, or Mike.

I'm alone, because I look like a... Can you say the rhyme words one more time? I can say the whole thing one more time. Against humans, a grudge, I am nursing. Because of you, all my monkey dates worsen. Ape ladies won't swipe for a Todd, Chad, or Mike. I'm alone because I look like a person. Yes, a person. Very good.

A monkey at a zoo in China has been single for 19 years because he looks too much like a person. Because as any person who's tried to get with a monkey knows, they are just not interested in us. Zookeepers say a monkey's person-like face has kept females from pairing with him.

When you look at the pictures, it's true. He doesn't just look like a person. He looks like a person that hasn't gotten laid in 19 years. Sad monkey. How do they know that's why? Well, they think that that's... Obviously, the monkey is unsuccessful. They know this, and they think it's because

it looks too much like a person. Well, that's, obviously the monkey is unsuccessful. They know this and they think it's because it looks too much like a person. Well, that's just a wild guess. Well, if you see a picture of this monkey and we have looked at it, he's got like a tie and a suit coat on. Yeah.

I did this. It's just a silly idea. And I'm sure he doesn't look that much like a human. No, he does. I've seen his picture and he's got it. Okay. Really? Yeah. He looks like what person does he look like, he does. I've seen his picture and he's got it, okay? Really? Yeah.

He looks like, what person does he look like? He does. He looks sort of like a small Brad Pitt. Kevin, here is your next limerick. The old family card game that you know gets political when red or blue show. Neutrality warrants

some purple or orange. We've made a nonpartisan Uno. Yes, very good. I've never heard of that game, and you got it. The new edition of the family card game Uno does not include red or blue cards, and Mattel says it's to help families avoid political disagreements. Oh, my heavens. Seriously, Mom?

Draw four again? You're so part of the uno percent. It's weird, though. They don't want to be political, but the game still forces players to learn Spanish. Mattel says the nonpartisan version will bring families together because, quote, without red or blue cards, the focus can stay on the game.

That is so ridiculous. Well? Are there families that can't go to the ocean? Because it's blue? Yeah, or on a beautiful day, they're like, don't look at the sky, we're Republicans. That's absurd.

Don't eat that apple, it's red, right? That's right, yeah, exactly. You know what? What, Paula? Maybe that monkey is the one who had that uno idea, and that's why it's not having sex. Dumb idea. All right, here is your last limerick.

They can see how I twitch when I'm dreaming. I sure hope that I don't wake up screaming. At a dollar a night, the hotel is priced right. Because my room's on a feed that's live streaming. Yes, streaming, very good. A new hotel in Japan is offering guests the chance to stay for one dollar a night. That's it. There's just one catch. You have to agree to be live streamed for people to watch.

Guests will be recorded for the duration of their stay, but the live-stream will not record you in the bathroom, taking a shower, and you are not allowed to be filmed while being, quote, intimate. And that was the sound of a million weirdos slamming shut their laptops. That is weird.

That is just a little weird. I don't know, I get it. I don't know, I get it. I don't know. I think people do interesting stuff. Like, when I get a hotel, I always like to get two queen-sized beds, and then the first 15 minutes, I decide which one will be the eating bed and which one will be the sleeping bed. And then I spend the rest of the night eating in the eating bed.

And then sometimes I'll even fall asleep in the eating bed. I'll be honest. Well, then your plans go right'll be honest. Well, your plans go right out the window. Well, what you've described would make riveting viewing. Bill, how did Kevin do on our quiz?

Kevin did very well. He got every single one right. Hey, nice job, Kevin. Congratulations, Kevin. Thanks, Peter. And good luck with a medical education. In the darkest night, on the brightest day,

someone's watching you from so far away. Someone's watching you. Someone's watching you. Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Rock says three.

Joel and Paula have two. We have flipped a coin, and Paula has elected to go second, so that means, Joel, you are up first. The clock will start when they begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Thursday, Israeli Prime Minister Blank was indicted on charges of bribery and fraud. Netanyahu? Right. On Monday, a doctor at Walter Reed Medical Center said that Blank's surprise hospital visit was part of a planned interim checkup.

Trump. Right. This week, Prince Andrew halted his royal family duties over his relationship with Blank. Epstein. Right. This week, thousands of protesting union members took to the streets of blank as part of a nationwide strike. Uh, Seattle?

No, Colombia. This time a church in Mexico is attracting new visitors after it unveiled a giant statue of baby Jesus that blanks. That winks. No, the giant baby Jesus looks just like British rock star Phil Collins.

On Monday, fast food restaurant blank announced it would no longer donate to anti-LGBTQ organizations. Chick-fil-A. Right. Newly declared presidential candidate Deval Patrick

had to cancel a campaign event Wednesday when Blank. He farted. No. He had to cancel the event when

only two people showed up. Oh, I know. The event was scheduled to take place at the same time as Wednesday night's debates, where, we should point out, there were 10 people on stage, which is 400%

more people than showed up to Governor Patrick's rally. Bill, how did Joel do on our quiz? He did okay. He got four right, eight more points. There you go. Oh, I'm sorry. I know. Ten points, and he's in the lead.

Paula, you're up next. Please fill in the blank. Here we go. I'm ready. On Tuesday, Swedish prosecutors announced they were dropping their investigation into WikiLeaks founder blank. Assange. Right. This week, Congress approved a bill supporting pro-democracy protesters in blank.

Hong Kong. Right. On Monday, California filed suit against Juul, claiming they're responsible for fueling the Blank epidemic. Vaping. Right. Saying he considers it a gateway drug, Blank said he wouldn't legalize marijuana if he was elected president. Biden. Right. This week, a Miami professor who teaches a class

on money laundering and corruption was arrested for Blank. Money laundering and corruption. Yes. This week, an actor revealed that HBO shot an alternate ending to Blank series finale. Game of Thrones. Right. With nine nominations, Lizzo topped the contenders for this year's Blank Awards. Grammys.

Yes. This week a robot police officer that was part of California's new crime prevention initiative blanked. Got arrested. Completely failed to prevent crime. The robot officer was equipped with an emergency button allowing people to immediately contact police, but when a fight broke out in Los Angeles and a bystander pressed the button, RoboCop did not call the police. He just told the person to get out of the way

and then wheeled around in circles yelling, keep the path clean, keep the path clean. Eventually, human police officers showed up and handled the fight the proper way by shooting everyone involved. Bill, how did Paula do in our quiz? Seven, right. 14 more points.

Total of 16. Now she's got the lead. Congratulations. And Bill, how many does Roxanne need to win? Seven to win. All right, Roxanne, this is for the game. According to reports, Secretary of State Blank is considering stepping down and running for the Senate.

Pompeo. Right. On Monday, the White House announced it now supports Israel's right to build settlements in the blank. On the West Bank. Right. This week, the House passed a short-term bill aiming to prevent a blank. A shutdown, government shutdown.

Yes. On Wednesday, Catherine Pugh, the former mayor of blank, was charged with fraud stemming from illegal book sales. Children's books. It was Baltimore. Yes. This week, a French court threw out a lawsuit accusing Blank of making too much noise. Ducks! Yes, a pond full of ducks.

On Sunday, Ford unveiled their new all-electric Blank. It's like a muscle car, like a Mustang or something like that? Yes, it's a Mustang Mach-E on Wednesday. Struggling office-sharing startup Blank laid off over 2,000 employees. WeWorks. Right. After he was busted for having cocaine in his possession during a routine traffic stop,

a Florida man told police blank. Oh, Florida. Oh, claimed it was powdered sugar? No. He claimed that the wind must have blown it into his car. According to the arresting officer, the man claimed he was innocent and that a gust of wind must have blown the bag of cocaine into his open window, an excuse that probably would have worked better if the bag had not been found in his glove compartment. Bill, did Roxanne do well enough to win? Well, she got seven right, 14 more points,

with a total of 17 for her and the win. There you go. Sun rises in the morning and Roxanne wins. In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists, after Ambassador Sondland's overheard phone call with the president, what will be the next overheard phone call to make the news? Special thanks to Stock and Ledger Restaurant here in Chicago for feeding us. Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago

in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Godica writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our house manager is Gianna Capodona. Our intern is Emma Day. Our web guru is Beth Novy. BJ Liederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Special thanks to Gary Yeck this week. Our business and ops manager is Colin

Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilog, and the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Michael Danforth. Now, panel, what will be the next overheard phone call in the news? Roxanne Roberts. In an effort to rehabilitate his image, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo will be overheard begging for a spot on next season's Dancing with the Stars. Joel Kim Booster. The next call is going to be my mom berating me for humiliating her on this show. And Paula Poundstone. Mike Pence will be overheard saying,

No, I don't want him impeached. What am I going to do with that face I make while he's talking? And if any of that happens, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Paula Poundstone, Roxanne Roberts, and Joel Kim Booster. Thanks to all of you for listening. I'm Peter Sagal. We'll see you next week.

Thank you. This is NPR.