Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - Gloria Steinem

Episode Date: November 2, 2019

Gloria Steinem, feminist icon, joins us along with panelists P.J. O'Rourke, Negin Farsad, and Josh Gondelman.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. It's cold out there. Put this villa clava on your face. Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Segal. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. Great to be back with you in Chicago. We have a very fine show for you today. Later on, we're going to be talking to an icon of the feminist movement, Ms. Gloria Steinem,

who, at the age of 85, has to come back and explain it all again. She's got a new book out. It's called Look, You Morons, I Told You All This Once Already. We want to hear you sigh about the news while you answer our questions. Go give us a call. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Now let's welcome our first listener contestant.

Hi, it's Deborah Ritzen. I'm calling from beautiful Longmont, Colorado. Oh, Longmont. I have actually been to Longmont. What do you do there? I am an equine appearance specialist. An equine appearance specialist? Otherwise known as a groom. Oh, I see.

All right. So you're grooming the horses. you're making them look good. Yeah, I braid maids and tails for horse shows. So I stand on ladders all night and put stupid little braids on the horses and braid their tails and their owners come in in the morning and their horses look gorgeous. Yeah. Are you happier working with horses or with people? I prefer the horses.

That's why I like to stand on the ladder all night, and then I leave before the people get there. I think that's wise. Debra, welcome to our show. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First, an author and humorist, newly named as an op-ed commentator for the Washington Post. It's P.J. O'Rourke.

Hi, Debra. Next, a comedian and author of the book How to Make White People Laugh and host of the podcast Fake the Nation, it's Nagin Farsad. And making his debut on our panel, a comedian whose new book Nice Try is

out now, it's Josh Gondelman. So, Deborah, welcome to the show. I bet you knew this, but you're going to play Who's Bill? This time, Bill Curtis is going to perform for you. Three quotations from the week's news. Your job, of course, identify two out of three. Do that,

you win our prize. The voice of anyone you may choose from our show on your voicemail. Are you ready to go? I am. All right, let's do it then. Here is your first quote. This is a sad day. A sad day. That was Nancy Pelosi lying about how she felt about Thursday's vote to authorize what?

The impeachment. Yes, the impeachment inquiry. As they voted on Thursday, Democrats kept coming to the well of the House and saying things like, I take no pleasure in impeaching the president, which is a weird way to say I take great pleasure in impeaching this president. Honestly, if you're a Democrat and you can't derive pleasure from impeaching this president, you need a fistful of Zoloft. Meanwhile, the Republicans, when they got their turns to speak, kept shouting about the fact that they were being bullied by the majority.

Finally, Trump supporters found a minority whose rights they care about. It's that verging on virtue signaling. It really is, yes. They're all social justice warriors, those Republicans. I feel like to be balanced, they should have gone up and been like,

we take great pleasure in this and we vote against it. Yes. We're having so much fun. This is great. The Republicans also kept talking, they kept complaining about how all these secretive hearings so far had been happening down in the basement, as if that's bad. It's a secure conference room in the basement of the Capitol.

I mean, it's not like Jerry Nadler was barging into the hearing every few hours to do his laundry. Although when he was occupying this basement room last week, Matt Getz did keep shouting up for his mom to bring him more popcorn. To be fair, he was really into a Fortnite game

and what was he going to do, get it himself? I know. The thing that amazes me, and I'm not even sure if I have a joke about this, it's just the president, we all remember after the first whistleblower complaint became known, he released a transcript, and in the transcript

of this call, he does exactly what he was accused of doing. He demands a favor, an investigation, in exchange for aid. And he continues to say, well, it it was perfect as you can read in the transcript there's nothing wrong and there is something wrong so you raised a toddler yeah yeah it's the equivalent did you break that no i saw you break that? No.

I saw you break that. But my toddler daughter did not look at the broken thing in the ground and say, it's not broken. See, it's not broken. No, my toddler did. Oh, really? I didn't do it, and I'll never do it again, and also it isn't broken. Well, you did raise a Republican toddler. I did.

We don't kid around at my house. Alright, here is your next quote. No, Netflix, no. That was filmmaker Judd Apatow responding to the news that Netflix is now allowing some users the option to do what?

Oh, gosh. I don't know this one. Well, I'll give you a hint. This is something that you can now do with TV shows and movies on Netflix that you can already do with podcasts, which, by the way, I find insulting, so don't do it to me.

Well, I mean, speed ahead. I skip through stuff. I don't know. Give her that one. Give her it. I will. Thank you. You said speed through it. Okay, thanks. The answer is speed them up.

Netflix is allowing users now to watch video and movies on their site at up to 1.5 times the normal speed. So it's farewell Netflix and chill. Hello Netflix and come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. Last week, some people watching Netflix on their phones found that they had this option. They play back up to 1.5 speed, which on the one hand is a terrible insult

to the careful work of filmmakers, but on the other hand makes the really slow stuff like the movie Roma into action movies. And if you like, you can find out what it would be like to hear David McCullough narrate a documentary while high on cocaine. This whole thing is like Netflix saying, honestly, our stuff isn't really worth your time. Yeah.

I would hate to watch Planet Earth at like one and a half speed because you'd just be like, well, climate change is faster than I thought. Yeah, I know. On the other hand, late Woody Allen. Yeah, that could benefit. Just putting it out there. Woody Allen should speed up his wife's age to 1.5 speeds. I know. But also, what is the emergency situation that you need something at 1.5 speed, right?

Like, just if you don't have time, just don't watch the thing. It's like, oh, I need a queer eye stat. This patient, no, she's not gonna make it. Like, there's no way to see. I need to know

what kind of booth they chose for her. All right. Here is your last quote. Okay. You're a freaking bulldog, bro. That was Davey Martinez talking to a man named Max Scherzer after their team, the Washington Nationals, did what this week?

They won their first World Series. They did. They won their first World Series. The Washington Nationals won it in seven games against the Astros, and for the first time in history, the winning team won all the road games. It makes sense. They were just so happy to be away from D.C. By the way, among many other interesting things,

this is the oldest World Series roster of players ever. For example, pitcher Fernando Rodney is 42 years old, and their shortstop is Joe Biden. It was, in fact, the first World Series win in Washington since 1924, and things have changed tremendously. Back then, President Calvin Coolidge threw out the first pitch, and today, Calvin Coolidge is dead. Now, as you know,

our current president attended game five in Washington. He did not throw out the first pitch. He didn't want to do it, and they told him he couldn't drive his golf cart right onto the pitcher's mound. Instead, the president just attended the game, and when he was shown on the scoreboard and the whole stadium booed him, it was terrible

and it couldn't have felt any better when Melania kind of joined in. Interestingly, if Calvin Coolidge were at this year's World Series, he would have been

the one saying, they're not all good jokes. Can I say something about baseball though? You may. I think baseball should be played at 1.5 speed. Why is it so long?

Bill, how did Debra do in our quiz? Two out of three for sure, but we will remember three out of three. Debra, you did well. Congratulations, Debra. Thank you. Good work, Debra. Thank you. Good work, Debra. Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Josh, turns out great white sharks are just like us.

I knew it. I don't have a question. I just wanted to tell you that. Now we're moving on. Now, great white sharks sometimes like to have what? Brunch. Well, you know what? I'm just going to give it to you Because I don't know when in the day they're doing it We were looking for dinner parties

Yeah Dinner parties Could be brunch You know, no I Accidentally getting it right I'm It's perfectly fine

I didn't I just didn't want to I didn't want to like have to hint you to another meal I get to my meals just fine, thank you. So great white sharks are stereotypically loners. They hunt on their own for seals and Richard Dreyfuss. But a new study out of Australia says that four or five times a year, great whites get together with other great whites.

They've known for a while, and they share a meal. You know, a little baby seal, a little seawater to drink, everything's great. But then it all falls apart when Phil over there gets drunk, cuts himself on a glass, and another feeding frenzy breaks out. Three or four times a year just makes me feel bad for how infrequently I see some of my friends. Isn't it terrible? It's like sharks have a better social life than me.

That's where we are now. That's really sad, yeah. So does that mean they see each other seasonally, and then the rest of the year they don't see each other? Yeah, but that was what was so surprising, because they didn't, I mean, sharks don't normally travel. So it's like in-laws. A little bit.

Are they, okay, are sharks having sex? I assume so, because of the existence of more sharks. Yeah, that's where baby shark comes from. Exactly. Coming up, our panelists don't need any help lying to you. They do it themselves in our Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait. Listen and subscribe to Shortwave from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Nagin Farsad, PJ O'Rourke, and Josh Gundelman.

And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Right now it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff, the listener game called 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game in the air. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Hi, Peter. This is Lance Evans from Telluride, Colorado. Telluride, Colorado. That happens to be one of the most beautiful places there is in this world. What do you do there? I'm a ski instructor and substitute teacher. Really? Yeah. Have you always done that, or is that a new thing for you?

No, I'm retired military. I was 24 years active duty, took two years off, and decided to become a ski instructor. This is my first year. Right. So which is more stressful, being in the military or teaching rich people how to ski? I think the latter. Yeah. Well, it's very nice to have you with us, Lance. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Lance's topic? If you want something done right, do it yourself. They say that the key to being a successful person is to learn how to

delegate. You can't do everything yourself. But the trick is, other people often do it worse. Our panelists are going to tell you three stories of people who should have just done the damn thing themselves. Guess which one is telling the truth, and you'll win our prize, the weight-waiter of your choice on your voicemail. You ready to play?

I'm ready. All right. First, let's hear from Nagin Farsad. In October 2013, Chinese developer Tan Yahuai was pissed. A rival real estate developer in China sued him over a project and he couldn't handle it. So he thought the best solution was murder. Now, murder sounds extreme, but to be fair, he probably wasn't loved enough as a child. And, you know, he'll just have to sort that out with China's famous therapy culture. Anyway, back to murder. He decided to hire a hitman, and he paid that hitman about $283,000 to murder his rival developer.

paid that hitman about $283,000 to murder his rival developer. The hitman took half the money for himself, and he used the other half to hire another hitman. Then the second hitman subcontracted to a third hitman, paying only $38,000 up front, then another 71 Gs when the murder was done. But then the third hitman subcontracted to a fourth hitman, paying even less. Then this hitman went to a fifth hitman, at which point they really just should have formed a boy band. And he was only offered $14,000 for the job. At that point, I'm just like,

you might as well do the murder for free. You know i mean who's with me fellow assassins okay um but the fifth hitman is struck with like a pang of morality and actually tells the developer that there's a hit out on him then and only then did someone call the police um all five hitmen were charged with intentional homicide, intentional but really lazy homicide, and sentenced to between two and four years at a Chinese iPhone factory. No, I'm sorry. I'm in prison, at prison. An angry businessman hires a hit man who hires a hit man who hires a hit man who hires a hit man who hires a hit man

who hires a hit man, and nobody gets hitman who hires a hitman who hires a hitman who hires a hitman who hires a hitman and nobody gets hit. That's Nagin's story. Your next story of delegating irresponsibly comes from PJ O'Rourke. Well, there was a grave diplomatic incident in France recently. The Ministry of Trade was hosting a state dinner for the American Association of Beef Exporters. Association of Beef Exporters. The French Minister of Trade, who, kelse surprise, detests Americans, told the ministry's chef to, beef bourguignon, c'est merde, but it's good enough for them. The chef, who's from Burgundy, was deeply offended and turned the dinner over to his sous-chef. deeply offended, and turned the dinner over to his sous-chef. But the French sous-chef union was on strike, so the menu was left to the state dinner's maitre d'. His mistress owns a business called Le Roy Berger.

The mistress sent a ministry driver to pick up the entree, but the driver, a recent immigrant from Estonia, misunderstood Le Roy Berger and went to a wrong restaurant instead, where his order was taken by a young lady who had just become a militant vegan. And that is how the American Association of Beef Exporters ended up with Impossible Whoppers. A group of American beef exporters get served Impossible Whoppers

because of a chain of failure in France. And your last story of a delegator disappointed comes from Josh Gondelman. Last week, a Greek fisherman named Kostas Asimos went to the dentist complaining of an infected tooth. The dentist told them the condition wasn't urgent, and the next available appointment to get the tooth removed wasn't for three weeks. Asimos posted on Facebook that in protest, he intended to tie the offending tooth to a buoy

with twine while a friend drove his octopus fishing boat away from the shore to extract it from his mouth. Unfortunately, Asimos' acquaintance, a novice sailor, was a timid pilot and didn't reach a sufficient speed to yank the tooth out. Consequently, Acemo's was dragged from the craft while the tooth stayed firmly affixed to his gums and the boat sped into the harbor, its driver too anxious to notice what had happened. Acemo, still tethered by string to the buoy, treaded water for three hours until a member of the Coast Guard picked him up after receiving several reports of a mermaid

bobbing in the waters of the Port of Perthia. I bear no ill will towards my friend, said Asimos after being rescued. However, I still do not trust my unreasonable dentist. All right, here are your choices. From Nagin Farsad, a story from China about a man who hired a hitman, who hired a hitman, who hired a hitman, who hired a hitman, who hired a hitman, and a total of five hitmen got hired, but no one got murdered.

From PJ O'Rourke, how a group of American beef exporters got served impossible whoppers in France because of a series of buck passing among them. Or from Josh Gondelman, the simple story of how a man's tooth extraction failed when he delegated the important job of driving the boat. Which of these is a real story of delegation gone wrong? Well, I'm going to go with the Chinese subcontractors. You're going to go with the Chinese subcontractors.

That's Nagin's story about the completely failed hit in China. Well, to bring you somebody, we talked to a journalist who covered this remarkable story. A hitman in China got cold feet, so he hired another man, counting a five-man chain of murder subcontractors. That was Natalie O'Neill. She writes for the New York Post talking about the hitman who hired the hitman, who hired the hitman, who hired the hitman, who hired the hitman, who hired the hitman in China. Congratulations, Lance. You got it right. You picked the correct

story. That was McGee. You've earned a point for her. You've won our prize. Thanks for calling. Thanks for playing our games. Take care. Thank you. I love the show. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. And now the game where amazing people do completely mundane things. It's called Not My Job. Sixty years ago, Gloria Steinem helped found the feminist movement. She famously went undercover to work as a Playboy Bunny to report what that was like. She founded Ms. Magazine. She's been a leading activist in the women's movement for decades. She has a new book out. She joins us now. Gloria Steinem, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, thank you. So, I mean, I don't want you to go through the whole origin story,

but how did you become, like, the leading intellectual of the American feminist movement? Did someone, like, ask you to do it? Did you, like... No, and I don't think I am the leading intellectual. Movements are, by their nature, huge and circular and mutually supportive. huge and circular and mutually supportive, I became whatever it is I am by being a journalist writing about the movement. And there were various places asking me to speak about it. And I discovered exactly how deep and widespread the needs and also enthusiasms about a movement truly were from being on the road. So, I mean, you've been out there on that road a long time. Do you ever find that young people today, especially even young women, have a hard time believing how terrible it was when you started out in your particular journey?

Yes, they do. And I'm so glad. Really? They just can't believe it. Yeah. We who are older are hopeful because we remember when it was worse and young people who don't remember when it was worse are mad as hell because it's not better now. Right. I'm just imagining you like with younger women like sitting around in a campfire with a flashlight like under your chin and going and when we got married we didn't just take their last name. We had to take their first name too. Yes, yes.

And we couldn't have our own credit rating, our own credit cards, our own address. We couldn't get a loan. I mean, we could go on. And do you? Yes, I do go on. But I think that the purpose of going on is just to show how far we've come

and therefore to give everybody faith that we can go even further in the future. I want to ask you about some interesting moments in your long life and career. We read that you played a role in saving Wonder Woman. Yes, quite true. Wonder Woman, who was my favorite comic book character when I was growing up, by the time we started Ms. Magazine and we were all grown-ups, she had lost all of her magical powers. You know, the 1950s were a hard time for all women, including for Wonder Woman. She had become kind of like a car hop. So we put her on the cover of Ms. Magazine in her original self, and we ran her golden age strips inside and asked our readers to lobby

to bring Wonder Woman back with all her powers intact. And so many people wrote and carried on and lobbied and so on that the comic book company that owned Wonder Woman did finally make her her own self again as you began to see her. And I remember getting a call from one of the chief executives looking after Wonder Woman, and he said, Okay, okay, she's got all her magical powers back. She can fly. She has a magic lasso that makes people tell the truth. She has an African-American Amazon sister named Nubia.

Now will you leave me alone? So wait a minute, it was your influence that ultimately brought around the 1970s Linda Carter Wonder Woman TV show? Well, not exactly the TV show, but she did indeed at least have her powers back. No, I'm just going to believe that it's your fault and my 12-year-old self thanks you.

Well, your 12-year-old self is very smart. Yeah, no, that's not what it was. One of the things we found out in your book, your new book is a book of quotes, yours and others, but perhaps one of the most amazing things I found out in your book is you did not say the thing that you are most famous for saying. You mean if...

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. Yes, I heard that, and I repeated it, and then it was wrongly attributed to me, and finally I discovered that it was a woman in Australia who had said it. When she was a student, she had written it on the wall of a ladies' room, and it got on t-shirts and went around the world. Wait a minute, I'm sorry. It started by being

written on the wall of a ladies' room in Australia? Yes, in the University of Sydney, yes. That's how we did viral in the 70s, kids. That's right. I know you got married later in life. Did anybody throw that back in your face? Oh, I guess you needed a bicycle, eh? Something like that? No, because by that time, the marriage laws were equal. Secondly, we were in love, David, Dale, and I,

and we wanted to be together. And so we were on our way anyway to Oklahoma to the Cherokee National Reunion and Wilma Mankiller, who's the chief of the Cherokee Nation, a dear friend. And she offered us the Cherokee ceremony. So who could resist that? I couldn't. Although I'm just going to say, if my wife had said to me, I've got a great idea for our marriage, it's going to be overseen by a woman named Wilma Mankiller, I might have blanched. When people ask her about her name, if they asked nicely,

she would explain that it was a honorific and it meant someone who protected the village. Right. If they asked her not nicely, she would say, I earned it. One last thing, which is that you have a Presidential Medal of Freedom, right? Yes, I do. Well, where do you keep it? It's in a very simple but elegant wooden box sitting on a chest of drawers in my apartment.

I confess that I don't wear it. Right. Do you ever wear it? Do you ever say, I'm going to put on my presidential medal and go down and get a bagel? No, I never have, actually. I confess. There may come a time when I

feel the need for it, and so I'm keeping it handy. Absolutely. You never know. So far, I haven't. Well, Gloria Steinem, it is an honor to talk to you. We have asked you to play a game that we're calling... Steinem meet Steinmen.

Your last name is, of course, Steinem, but what do you know about Steinmen, which is another word for bartenders, people who fill up beer steins. Steins, as it happens. It's true. We read it on the Internet. We're going to ask you three questions about remarkable bartenders

and their drinks. Answer two out of three correctly, and you'll win a prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is Gloria Steinem playing for? Lillian Turner of Washington, D.C. All right. You ready to play? I'm afraid Lillian is in big trouble because I don't really drink that much, but I'll try. Well, grab your Presidential Medal of Freedom and use its power.

All right, here's your first question. If you visit the Eternity Bar in Ukraine, you'll be served by bartenders who are also what? A, they're DMV employees and it takes an eternity to get a drink. B, they're former KGB agents who instead of taking money make you inform on a friend. Or C, they're undertakers and the bar is shaped like a coffin. Well, it must be undertakers

because I just can't imagine it's the other two. I think you're right. You're a very sensible person, Ms. Dynan. The entire bar is coffin and death themed. All right, here's your next question. A bartender in Canada was distraught when the essential ingredient for their signature cocktail was stolen.

Was it A, their maple syrup stuffed olives for their Yukon martinis, B, a live moose who contributes the key ingredient for the moose sweat margarita, or C, a human toe? I'll have to go with number one because I can't quite go with the other two. It in fact was the human toe.

You're kidding. It is a very long story. But it's been stolen. If anybody knows where this toe is, please return. All right, you have one last question. If you get this right, you win. The mayor of Minoah, Nebraska

also serves as the town's bartender and is also what? All right, you have one last question. If you get this right, you win. The mayor of Minoee, Nebraska, also serves as the town's bartender and is also what? A, she is a top 10 Formula One race car driver. B, she is the infamous artist Banksy. Or C, she is the only resident of the town of Minoee, Nebraska. I'll go for C. You're right, Ms. Steiner.

That's true. Elsie Eiler is 85 years old. She is the only resident of Beno'i. It is the smallest town in America, and she pays taxes to herself. I like that. Yeah, I know. That's great. It's kind of a feminist dream.

She does all the jobs. She's the only one there to do it. Bill, how did Gloria Steinem do? Gloria got two out of three, and that's a winner, Gloria. Oh, I wish that were so in life. Thank you. You are in life. Gloria Steinem's latest book is called The Truth Will Set You Free,

but first it will piss you off, and it is available now. Gloria Steinem, thank you so much for joining us. I'm really excited. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You want a close-in carol with a wonder woman You want to feel

the power of Supergirl You want to take me on but baby you should run Cause today's the day I'm gonna rock your world When we come back, we put a ring on it in our Listener Limerick Challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

How will you remember the past decade in music? I'm Robin Hilton with NPR's All Songs Considered. Join us as we look back at the defining trends and moments of the 2010s, from Beyonce to Bandcamp. Listen twice a week on All Songs Considered from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Josh Gundelman, P.J. O'Rourke, and Nagin Forsad. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill.

And just a minute. Bill takes his corona with a rhyme in our listener limerick challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Nagin, thanks to a major security flaw, this week a Russian computer hacker took over the control of the global food supply for whom? Like really hungry dudes? No, I'll give you a hint. I don't understand. I'll give you a hint. What kind of group? What really hungry dudes? No, I'll give you a hint. I don't understand.

What kind of group? What do you mean? Release the kibbles and bits. Oh, for dogs. And cats, too, for pets. Let me explain. The computer hack involved furry tail brand smart feeders. Now, there are these internet-connected pet feeders

that allow you to feed your pets while you're out of town or if you want them to worship a foot-high white cylinder as a god. But now a Russian computer security specialist said she exploited a flaw to get control over every one of the 10,000 furry tail feeders across the world.

This could mean, for example, the sudden release of all the food stored inside them. This is like a very cute packing. Yes, it's very adorable. Like, you couldn't, this isn't like Bond villain, like, Mr. Bond, if you don't give up the clothes, your dog

will get really fat. What does the hacker get out of this? Well, now, the reason we know about this is because this is a computer security specialist who, once she figured out how to do this, alerted the world. It's easy to imagine somebody using this,

especially Russians, to a bad effect. For example, they may decide not to feed your cat unless it praises Vladimir Putin, which it would do anyway. It's a cat. You know who we really don't want this technology to get in the hands of is the cats and the dogs. That would be terrible.

I was going to say, suddenly I understand what my Britney Spaniel was doing at my laptop. PJ, new medical research shows if you want to lower your chances of going bald, you should do what? Yeah, tell us. What you want to do is be Irish. We don't lose our hair, we lose our minds.

I'll give you a hint. Looks like I need to take another follicular health day off. It's just a vacation. Vacate. Well, basically, stop doing what so much? Working. Exactly right. A new study shows that men are twice as likely to go bald if they work 52 hours a week.

This is strange because my own personal research says not having a real job also makes you go bald. Apparently, there's a hormonal stress response to working overtime and it can inhibit hair follicle growth. This is Reagan explained. It is. Yeah, exactly. No wonder he looks so great.

It's great news for people dating who now have a 1% chance of finding someone with a job who also has hair. You'd think I'd be more successful by my hairline. Let me ask you a question. One bald guy to another. When did you first start to lose your hair age 19 19 yeah me too which is i like that i like it early because then you know the man you're gonna be right if you start you if you have a full head of hair into your 30s like a chump you don't know when it's coming you don't know if it's coming yeah at 19 you're just like well brace for impact for the next 50 odd years yeah have you ever and I have

had this experience have you ever had like a guy losing his hair later on in life come to you and say what do I do yeah and what do you say I laugh mostly I know be like why are you asking me? I clearly have no idea. You steer into the skid. Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT.

That's 1-888-924-8924 or click the Contact Us link on our website. That's waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows right here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago and our upcoming show in Des Moines, Iowa, January 23rd, right before the Iowa caucuses. And if you like our show but wish there were a short version you could play without calling us, try our weekly quiz every Wednesday on your smart speaker. Just say,

open the Wait, Wait quiz, and Bill and I will appear like magic in your room. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Anne Companion, and I'm calling from Hampton, Virginia. You're Anne Companion from Hampton? I sure am. That's like an Eminem lyric. And what do you do there in Hampton, Anne Companion? I am a portrait photographer. I have a studio here in Hampton.

Really? Are people still paying professionals to do that when everybody's taking pictures of each other with iPhones? Yeah, they actually are. I have a great business. That's great. Yeah, we selfie takers have found out it's not as easy to make yourself look good as it seems. No, it's true. That is very true. Yeah, right. Is that your slogan for portrait photography, right? It's, don't just trust your friend, trust a companion.

Very good. Well, and, welcome to the show. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with their last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly into the limericks, you will be a winner. You ready to play? Yes. Here is your first limerick.

For this sensory video thing, I'll watch jewelers making some bling. But my passion is slipping. A guy took nailed clippings and fashioned them into a... Ring. Right, a ring. Diamond rings are expensive, so a man in China made an engagement ring out of his fingernails.

You'd think there would be a middle ground somewhere. Cubic zirconium exists, dude. Cubic zirconium exists, dude. Cubic zirconium exists. So next time you see a guy in the subway cutting his nails, don't say, ew, say, who's the lucky lady? You're wondering how he did this. Well, what he did was he cut his fingernails for an entire year, then he turned all the clippings into a

sculptable paste, creating the perfect worst ring ever. Really? The real question is what's worth this ring or the ring in the movie that kills you eight days after you see it. All right. Very good. Here is your next limerick.

My home has a grand floral spread that won't need to be watered or fed. No need to get squirmy. It's plant taxidermy. My flowers are already... Dead. Yes, dead. You can cultivate your brown thumb this winter. Dead plants are the hottest trend in home decor.

You know what? I've been way ahead of this trend. I know. You weren't lazy and incompetent. You were a trendsetter. I'm an influencer, really. Yeah, exactly. According to the Wall Street Journal,

everybody wants preserved plants, otherwise known as your formerly living plants when you come back from vacation. They require no water and no care because they're dead, but because they've been injected with a kind of mummifying liquid, they still look green and alive.

That's true. They're great because they're really low maintenance, all while giving you that fresh feeling of living in a plant morgue. This sounds to me like the first act of a vegan serial killer, right? First it's houseplants, then it's trees, and then he knows.

Vegan serial killer? You've got a series. Vegan serial killer. You got a series. Vegan serial killer. Netflix least riveting murder documentary. Play it at 1.5 the speed. Alright, here is your last limerick.

He's not a good RPG shooter nor much of a coin and ring looter. is your last limerick. He's not a good RPG shooter, nor much of a coin and ring looter. My kid is quite lame at video games, so we've hired the poor guy a... Tutor? A tutor, yes! Parents are hiring video game tutors as a new effort to make your kids hate video games.

Fortnite and World of Warcraft have become so popular, they've basically become a sport, Oh, no. Well, no, it's just, don't do that. It's just like the good old days when we had, like, a Monopoly tutor. You have to pass. Go, damn it. How many times do I have to go over this? No, idiot. Roll sixes i weep for humanity i really do but apparently these are like

totally great things these days kids get college scholarships playing esports great yeah so it so bodes well for the nation it really. I never felt more like I was born too soon. I have the ideal body for eSports. Yes. Bill, how did Anne do on our quiz? Anne's companion was victory. All right. Well done, Anne.

Congratulations, Anne. Thanks so much for playing. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Now it's time for our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

Josh and Nagin each have three. PJ has two. Oh, my gosh. That means, PJ, you are up first. All righty. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, the Pentagon released pictures from the raid that killed Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi,

former leader of blank. ISIS. Right. As protests continued into their second week, the president of blank canceled two planned summits. Chile. Yes. On Wednesday, a doctor reported that blank's autopsy was more consistent with homicide than suicide.

Oh, that Epstein guy. Yeah, Jeffrey Epstein. For Halloween this year, Mitt Romney's grandson dressed as blank. Hillary Clinton. No, Pierre Delecto. On Monday, the CDC reported that most deaths linked to blank involved THC products. Vaping, vaping, vaping. Yes, vaping, not nicotine.

A man in Australia who needed help breaking up with his girlfriend asked his mom to call her and blank. Invite her to that shark dinner. No. He told her to call his girlfriend and tell her that he was dead. He told her to call his girlfriend and tell her that he was dead. The couple's relationship had started to go downhill when the man borrowed 500 bucks from his girlfriend, couldn't pay her back. So he did the honest and honorable thing

and asked his mom for help faking his own death. It's right in line with that classic breakup excuse, it's not you, I'm dead. Just ask your mom for the money. Yeah, I know. It seems weird. If you're going to go to those lengths. Apparently, it took a year for her to discover this.

She actually went to the restaurant where he had worked, and he was still working there. Which brings up the question. I was just scared the hell out of her. Yeah, I know. Which brings up the question, boyfriend, girlfriend, mother call saying, oh, your boyfriend's dead.

Australian accent. Your boyfriend's dead. And she goes, oh. I guess we're square. Yeah. Our relationship wasn't going anyplace anyway. Bill, how did PJ do in our quiz? He did pretty good. Four right, eight more

points, total of ten, which puts him in the lead. All right. Very good. Very temporarily. Well, Josh has elected to go last. So, Nagin, you're up next. Please fill in the blank. On Tuesday, lawmakers in the UK approved snap elections to break an impasse over blank. Brexit?

Right. On Monday, a court in blank ruled that the state's congressional maps were unconstitutional. North Carolina? Very good. This week, social media site blank announced it was banning all political ads. Twitter. Right. On Tuesday, a judge temporarily blocked an Alabama law

banning nearly all blanks. Abortion. Right. This week, security cameras caught a man wearing blanks stealing money from a laundromat. Oh, wearing a dog costume. No, he wore a shirt that said, it's not a crime unless you get caught.

On Monday, stand-up comedian Blank was awarded the Mark Twain Award for comedy. I don't know. It's Dave Chappelle. A suspicious package that shut down a New York train station was determined by investigators to be a blank. A fun package. No, it was a

box containing a device to help people call in suspicious packages. Wow. After seeing this box sitting there by the side of the station near the wall a commuter ran to a nearby MTA help point system these are devices set around stations that let you contact police about suspicious packages called it in police evacuated the station cautiously opened the box revealing a new MTA health point system unit. These are amazing. That's the best. That means you don't even have to plug them in for them to work. It just works. It's amazing. Bill, how did Nagin do on our quiz? She got four right for eight more points, total of 11. Nagin is now in the lead.

All right. So how many then, how many then does Josh Gondelman need to win his first game with us? Well, four to tie, five to win. All right, Josh. Here we go. This is for the game. On Wednesday, House Democrats asked former National Security Advisor Blank to testify in the impeachment inquiry. Mattis? No, John Bolton.

On Tuesday, the Blank voted to allow college athletes to profit. NCAA. Of their name, image, and likeness, right? This week, strong winds hastened the growth of the blank's threatening California. Wildfires. Yes. For the third time this year, the blank cut short-term interest rates. Federal Reserve.

Right. This week, a government employee in a small South Carolina town says he was fired because the mayor disapproved of blank. His hairstyle. No, of a call he made during a kickball game. This week, NBCUniversal said it was releasing

former employees from non-disclosure agreements relating to blank. The Apprentice? No. Just some wishful thinking. Sexual harassment. On Tuesday, HBO announced

it would not be going forward with one of the planned prequels to blank. Game of Thrones. Right. McDonald's of Portugal has apologized for a new commercial promoting its strawberry ice cream dessert On Tuesday, HBO announced it would not be going forward. One of the planned prequels to blank. Game of Thrones. Right. McDonald's of Portugal has apologized for a new commercial promoting its strawberry ice cream dessert with the slogan blank. Sunday Bloody Sunday.

Yes, indeed. Ooh. Good. Of course, they thought they were just making a cool Halloween reference to the U2 song Sunday Bloody Sunday, but they forgot the song is about Bloody Sunday in Northern Ireland where more than a dozen people were killed and that's not cool. Unlike McDonald's McFlurry, a delicious

ice cream treat. Bill, did Josh do well enough to win? He got five right, ten more points, a total of thirteen. The rookie wins! Congratulations! Congratulations! You get nothing.

Nothing at all. Exactly what my heart feels like I deserve. There you are. In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists how DC will celebrate now that they're World Series champions. Special thanks to our live event sponsor, Westin Hotels and Resorts. Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with the Urgent Aircraft Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord.

Philip Godica writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our house manager, that's Gianna Capodona. Our brand new intern, she's Emma Day. Our web guru is Beth Novy. BJ Liederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our business and our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Durnbos, and Lillian King. Technical direction is from Lorna White.

Our business and ops manager is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilag, and the executive producer, wait, wait, don't tell me, that's Michael Danforth. Now panel, how will Washington, D.C. celebrate the World Series? P.J. O'Rourke. Well, Congressional Representative

Rashida Tlaib from Detroit will introduce fairness and equity legislation requiring next year's World Series to be between Detroit Tigers and the Miami Marlins. Nagin Farsal. They're going to go into a dystopian soundscape where the only thing they hear is baby shark. And Josh Gondelman. An influential think tank will use this attack by the Houston Astros as pretext to declare war on the Dallas Cowboys. Well, if any of that happens, we'll ask you about it right here on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to PJ O'Rourke, Nagin Farsad, and Josh Gondelman. Thanks to all of you for listening. I'm Peter Stegall. We'll see you next week. Thank you. This is NPR.