Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - Jane Krakowski

Episode Date: January 9, 2021

Actor Jane Krakowski joins us, along with panelists Amy Dickinson, Maeve Higgins, and Joel Kim Booster.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Hey now, don't storm the Capitol, storm me, the Cap-a-Bill. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host, who is coming to you from the bottom of a Twitter hole, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody. We're all very excited to be back with you because we are so looking forward to what's going to be a great new year, which, of course, starts next week.

We really are looking forward to starting 2021 and putting behind us the terrible events of December 37th, 2020. Later on, we're going to be talking to actor Jane Krakowski, but while you're waiting to ring in the new year, give us a call. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. It's time to welcome our first listener contestant.

Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hey, how you doing? I'm doing all right. Who's this? This is Gabriel Castillo from Tulsa, Oklahoma. Hey, how are things in Tulsa? Well, they're cold right now, but usually they're windy. Well, that sounds kind of exotic. So what do you do there in Tulsa? Well, I work in the news. I'm a web producer at a local news station.

So I wake up deep in the night and I type up news stories all evening and then I get the days off. It's pretty exciting. Yeah. And that must be pretty dull these days. What's there to talk about? Right? You know, I've been boring myself to death over here. Welcome to the show, Gabriel. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, it's a comedian whose movie Extraordinary is streaming now, where movies stream. It's Maeve Higgins. Hi, Gabriel. Hey there. Next, she's the writer behind the advice column Ask Amy. Her most recent book is Strangers Tend to Tell Me Things. It's Amy Dickinson.

Hi. How you doing? And a comedian you can see in the new documentary History of Swear Words on Netflix. It's Joel Kim Booster. Hi, Gabriel. What's going on? Well, Gabriel, welcome to the show. You're going to play Who's Bill this time.

Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from the week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you'll win our prize. Any voice from our show that you might choose in your voicemail. You ready to play? I am. Okay, let's do it then. Your first quote is from the President of the United States in a video he posted on Wednesday afternoon. We love you.

You're all very special. The President was saying something he has never once said to his own children, to people who at that moment were doing what? Bursting into the Capitol, in the U.S. Capitol. They were sacking the Capitol, yes. A mob breached the Capitol building, what NPR is calling an insurrection by pro-Trump extremists, and Fox News is calling a self-guided tour of the Senate chambers. Now, it all looked pretty scary, but don't worry, the National Guard was on standby, ready to act if any one of those people

kneeled during the national anthem. I was mightily concerned about the fashions on display from the people trying to do the coup. It looked like Farm and Fleet goes to Burning Man. It was really... You know, I was looking at it and I love how the Capitol is so open, right? Like it's the people's house and that's why it was easy to get in. But I have to say, there's a castle on the island that I'm from in Cove. But I have to say, there's a castle on the island that I'm from in Cove, and it has like little slits at the top of it to pour hot oil out of.

It has what's called a murder hole. Yes. And it works. You know, it's worked for 2000 years now to keep out the marauders in their terrible fashions. Did you ever have to, as you were growing up in this island, serve in the castle to defend from marauders? Or does that only happen once you move to America? Yeah, it's funny, isn't it? A lot of people are like, this is not America.

And I'm like, but I've only ever seen this in America. And I should also say that like the castle in Cove now, they just project a big Santa Claus onto it at Christmas time. It's not the murder hole is no longer in use. Well, not yet. Now, we should say that the people who tried to overthrow democracy did not, at least for the moment, win. They did not stop the certification of Joe Biden's victory. The Senate reconvened later in the trashed Capitol.

And Mitch McConnell gave a heartfelt speech about democracy, after which he had to give the heart back to the cadaver he stole it from. But what was amazing was after all that, all of that, Senator Ted Cruz still objected to certifying the election, which led to the second unimaginable event of the day. People hating Ted Cruz even more. You know, it's so hard to look at Ted Cruz sometimes because he looks like his own Madame Tussauds statue is melting. You know, like it looks it looks like he just he's wearing a mask of his own skin. It's so creepy. Oh, God. Now, after all of this, the president was finally banned from Twitter and Facebook for promoting sedition. So he was reduced to setting national policy by doing 30 second dance videos on TikTok. I was so concerned about what platform he was going to move to because he got blocked from all of them except for Pinterest.

And I was like, oh, no. Pinterest is so cute. And now he's just going to be like quilting Confederate flags together. You don't want to see his dream board, I assure you. That's not to say. All right, Gabriel, here is your next quote. I love puppies. Those three words in social media posts may have sealed the victory for Reverend Raphael Warnock, as he and John Ossoff were victorious in elections held where on Tuesday?

Georgia. Yes, Georgia. This was good news for Democrats that got overshadowed by the bad news for the country. Trump Republicans to the very bitter end, Georgia Senators Loeffler and Perdue, both showed their loyalty to the president by also losing races in Georgia. This was somewhat of a surprise that had never happened. Democrats had never won runoff elections in Georgia. It took till the next day to call the race for John Ossoff. But Democrats were optimistic because at that point, all the remaining votes to be counted came from the indigo girls.

Finally, he was named the new senator on Wednesday just in time to see his new offices ransacked by Visigoths. Yeah, I feel so bad for all the new people. I mean, they did a great job, but it must be rough on your first week for that to happen. It's true, but on the other hand, all the people who were there and don't keep particularly clean offices have an excuse. Like when Ossoff is taking a tour and going, oh, yeah, the damage. Oh, yes, this was like that before. Yeah, this is what happened. They came in and ransacked my office. That's what happened. Ossoff will enter the Senate at the age of 33, the youngest in decades. And interestingly, it makes them exactly the same age that Joe Biden was 100 years ago. You know, one thing I loved was after these victories were announced, there were a lot of on social media, a lot of sharing of peach emojis. Yes. You know, that was that was kind of fun.

It's the first time in a long time I've seen a peach emoji actually stand for, you know, a peach. Yeah, it was it was I just thought everyone was super horny all night. Yeah, I know. This is, of course, made in case you don't know that Georgia is famously the peach tree state. Oh, I was just like laughing along nervously. Like, all right, Gabriel, here is your last quote. And we are happily leaving politics behind and we are returning to our normal nightmarish lives. All right, Bill, don't miss it. Read the quote. Read the quote. You got this bill. So Bill was demonstrating something psychologists say that we are all doing

more and more and more of every day during lockdown what is it oh man uh stressing out we're doing that but bill was being very specific just then he was doing something that we have all done especially people who live by themselves during lockdown talking to themselves yes talking to themselves more and more people are talking to themselves during the pandemic since there really isn't anybody else to talk to. In fact, I'm not saying this to any of you. I'm saying it to myself. People tend to talk out loud more when they're under stress, even when they're alone as a way of examining and organizing what's happening inside their heads. That's why you're always saying out loud, yes, Netflix, I'm still watching. That's why you're always saying out loud, yes, Netflix, I'm still watching. So did psychologists say anything about doing other things to yourself in quarantine? Not on the family websites we were reading.

I've gotten some questions from my advice column from people worried about talking to themselves. Yeah, it's definitely a phenomenon. Are people worried that they're losing their minds? Well, the one question that I published, yeah, she said, am I okay? Like, is this? And turns out it can be useful, actually. You know, you're keeping yourself company. You're telling, you're narrating your life.

There's nothing wrong with that. Yeah, I think it's pretty crazy to talk to yourself. That's why I've dressed up a body pillow. I dress the body pillow. I was about to say, if you're worried about it, all you need to do is paint a face on a volleyball with blood and talk to that, and you'll win an Oscar. Bill, how did Gabriel do in our quiz? Gabriel got them all right.

Congratulations, Gabriel. Thank you, guys. Congratulations. Thanks a lot, Gabriel. them all right. Congratulations, Gabriel. Thank you, guys. Congratulations. Thanks a lot, Gabriel. Thanks for calling. Bye. Bye-bye. Bye.

Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Maeve, if you cannot bear to throw out your Christmas tree, there's a new book with a fun solution to that problem. You can do what with your Christmas tree? Can you... So you're not throwing it out. So you can just refresh it? You can grow it? No, not exactly.

You can recycle it? Make it into... Not exactly. I'll give you a hint. Oh, Christmas tree, oh, Christmas tree, your leaves are so tasty. You can eat us? Yes! You can eat your Christmas tree. The book is called How to Eat Your Christmas Tree

which shockingly is not for cats. It features recipes like blue spruce ice cream and Christmas cured fish which uses a pound and a half of pine needles from your tree. It's delicious and when you're done with your, you can use the tinsel to floss. It sounds like the Battle of Stalingrad or something. Those awful times when you had to climb into a donkey's dead body.

It's absolutely perfect for all those people who want to eat candles. Yeah. Right. I mean, I think I still have my Christmas tree. So I can, I mean, I'm willing to go there. I guess it could be, you know, it's vegan. It cost me $30 and I've used it every year, but this year I'm going to eat it.

That's my promise to you. You paid $35 for it and you use it every year. Is it an artificial Christmas tree? Yeah, and it's silver. It's silver colored. It's an artificial tree yeah i don't think you can eat those you just said you just said ice cream out of it and smoked fish peter don't take this away from me we just may have saved you from the terrible terrible case Terrible case of poisoning. Hungry. Hungry. I'm so hungry.

Hungry. Hungry. I'm so hungry. Coming up, our panelists want it all for themselves in our bluff listener game called 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. Support for NPR in the following message comes from Big Potato Games, who make the award-winning party game Linky. With the upcoming holidays, Linky is a simple trivia game,

perfect for spending off-screen time with family and friends. Your mission is to work out the big link between the answers to four quirky questions and shout Linky before anyone else. This fun party game can be played with groups of all sizes and ages and also makes the perfect gift. Available at Amazon and Target online. LifeKit is always here with tips about personal finance and health, but also for those tough discussions,

like what to tell your kids when the news gets scary. Listen now to the LifeKit podcast from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Maeve Higgins, Joel Kim Booster, and Amy Dickinson. And here again is your host, a man who calls working from home, being removed from office, Peter Sagan. Thank you, Bill. Right now it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me bluff, the listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air.

Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Eric. I'm calling from La Center, Washington. Oh, what do you do there in La Center, Washington? I am currently a stay-at-home dad. Oh, wow. How excellent. How old is your child or children?

He is 10 years old. Oh, wow. I, as some people know, just had a baby boy. I've never had a son before. And I was wondering if you have any tips. Drink it all in while you can, because it'll go by faster than you know. Oh, okay. That was not where I thought the advice was going when you started with Drink it all in while you can, because it'll go by faster than you know. Okay. That was not where I thought the advice was going when you started with drink it all.

Drink, drink heavily. Drink it all. You'll have a couple of those nights too, I promise you. Yeah, he's a newborn. We've had those nights. Eric, welcome to the show. You're going to play the game of which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Eric's topic? I call dibs. We all know calling dibs is the legal process of claiming something before someone else does, and that requires both House and Senate approval. Our panelists are going to tell you about a feud over two people who called dibs in the same thing. Pick the one who's telling the truth. You win our prize, a weight-waiter of your choice and your voicemail.

Are you ready to play? Yes. Let's do it then. First, let's hear from Joel Kim Booster. Schools may be closed across the country due to the pandemic, but that didn't stop one teen from getting into some mischief on school grounds. Or was it two teens? The tag King Steez was graffitied onto the entrance

to Mahoning County High School in Youngstown, Ohio. The mystery of who did it was quickly solved as a TikTok video of 17-year-old Nathaniel Rogers spraying the words on the wall went viral. But then a second TikTok video of a different 17-year-old by the name of Cole Yang also spray painting the exact same words on the blank door also went viral. Obviously, I'm King Steez, Rogers stated in a follow-up video calling Yang a loser and a poser. Yang responded with a video in which he says he is the rightful King Steeze and is willing to take Rogers to court to prove it if, quote, that's even a thing. Police solved the crime by seizing the students' phones and examining the videos they found there.

In one, Rogers spray paints the words on the door. In another, Yang gives the door a fresh, clean coat of paint and then spray paints the same words himself. In a third, Rogers paints over Cole's work and then paints the same words for the third time. At this point, the police gave up looking at the video saying it was like watching paint dry. For now, both students have been charged with cleaning up the vandalism that they each have already cleaned up at least once in what officials are calling a reverse King Solomon kind of deal. Two taggers, as they say, claiming the same tag in a graffitied school. Your next story of a dibs dilemma comes from Amy Dickinson.

In the 1930s and 40s, authors J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis were members of a literary society called the Inklings. The two fantasy writers were friends and rivals. This week we find out just how petty their rivalry really was. Scholars at the British Museum have released correspondence between the two men fighting not over a woman or a cricket score but a pixie named Tinkle. Tinkle was pink with a rosebud mouth, gossamer wings, and a puckish air, and both men claimed her as a character in their novels. She is my Tinkle, my pickle-tinky-wink, Lewis fumed in a letter. Tolkien replied, I conjured her. I brought her forth from the mist of my own fertile brain grapes, you moss-covered cob-uncle.

And lo, it came to pass. Neither author wrote of Tinkle the Pixie. However, the letters have solved an enduring mystery. The origins of an early draft of the Lewis novel titled The Lion, the Witch, and the Foul-Mouthed Jackass. the witch and the foul mouthed jackass. Alright, a feud between the famous authors of fantasy J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis over Tinkle the Pixie

Your last story of people staking the same claim comes from Maeve Higgins Oh baby I love your name every day yeah yeah I wanna tell you I love a lovely name for a lovely new person.

Baby. Two different Instagram influencers have named their child Baby and it has torn their influence ship apart. Sasha Benz and Jessica Hart both claimed the name Baby for their baby. Hart says she chose the name because of dirty dancing and plans to raise Baby exclusively in round rooms so nobody can put baby in a corner. Benz named her baby baby years ago though she spells it B-A-Y-B-I. It is pronounced baby. Benz is reportedly outraged that Hart copied her baby baby's name for her baby baby. As an influencer the last thing she would ever want to do is to influence somebody. It is not yet clear if either mother will change Baby's name as Baby grows to a more mature name. For example, Old Baby. We'll see. So here are your stories, each of which involve

two people fighting over one thing. Was it from Joel Kim Booster, two graffiti artists, arguing that they were the ones who tagged their school, King Stees? Was it from Amy Dickinson, the two great authors J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis, arguing over which of them could use the character Tinkle the Pixie? Or from Maeve Higgins, two well-known influencers who each claim the idea to name their baby, Baby. Which of these is the real story of a rivalry we found in the week's news? I'm going to have to go with the graffiti story.

You really? You're going to go with Joel's story of the graffiti of the one kid painting King Steeze, the other kid coming over, painting it over, making it all clean, and then doing King Steeze, and then the first kid coming back and saying,'m not going to have that painting it over again and tagging it king steves that's your choice yeah my wife's probably going to kill me but all right even though your wife is going to kill you i understand that your choice is joel's story well we spoke to someone who is familiar with the real story. So there are two Australian

influencers and they're in a feud after both of them named their babies Baby. So that was Lindsay Weber from the podcast Who Weekly. Unfortunately, as you heard, you did not get the question right, disappointing your wife, no doubt, but you did win a point for Joel for his convincing lie. It's all right. I just couldn't imagine that somebody was going to name their baby baby. Totally understand it. All right. Well, thanks for letting me play. Thank you for playing.

Take care. She's just my baby, baby, baby. She's all I need, baby. And now the game where we celebrate amazing careers by giving people a thrilling 10-minute conversation. Jane Krakowski has done almost everything you can do as a performer. She's won a Tony Award on Broadway. She starred in three hit TV series, Ally McBeal, 30 Rock, and Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. So what world is left for her to conquer only to take on the most prestigious job in all of entertainment?

Game show host. She is the host of the newly rebooted Name That Tune. She joins us now. Jane Krakowski, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you for having me. I'm so excited to speak with you all today. So I know you really well from your character on 30 Rock. That's what I see when I look at you. What do most of your fans know you as? I mean, I feel like that was a show that, I don't know, it was sort of like a little engine that could. Initially, we really weren't supposed to be the show that made it on NBC about behind the scenes of a comedy show. And then we somehow made it to a lot of seasons. But what's recently interesting is

because it's now on new streaming platforms, There's a whole new generation of younger people who are watching it for the first time. So there's a new sound fun for me to have a whole new younger generation learn about 30 Rock and ask me if I was that lady. Yes, which is itself kind of weird because that lady is terrible. And oddly, I'm so proud of it.

That's what you should be. I was about to say, it's New York people who try to be sophisticated., I'm so proud of it. That's what you should be. I was about to say, it's New York people try to be sophisticated. So I'm sure what they really do is they come up and say, oh, I saw you in previews in Nine, just so you know. Well, that's literally what I was going to ask about. Because hi, Jane, I'm gay. And the first YouTube video that I watched in 2021 was you singing Call from the Vatican in Nine.

Iconic. I return to it often. And I just have to ask, like, when are you going back to Broadway? When Broadway eventually comes back? Right. Well, that's the biggest question is when will Broadway come back? I, like, obviously can't wait to come back to Broadway. It's one of my favorite loves.

And I sort of describe it, I love doing it so much because you get to do all the things at once. You can sing, you dance, you have to do it all at one time. And I think it's one of the few platforms where you get that. And to be honest, one of the reasons I wanted to do Name Not Tomb was to perform again in front of a live audience. And I've always loved sort of the rollercoaster ride, the discipline of the theater and all that it takes to be in front of a live audience and do a show from start to finish,

head to toe, doing all things at once between eight and approximately 1045. So let's talk about Name That Tune. This is a TV show, an old game show that's so old that I remember watching it as a child. And of course, if you don't know the ideas, contestants see how quickly they can name a tune. Did they did they come to you and say, we're redoing this and we want you to host it? Yeah, they did. And I thought it'd be super fun. It also came at a time where there was no live theater, right? There was no possibility of performing live. where there was no live theater, right?

Yes. Where there was no possibility of performing live. And the only way we could film it in time through our Corona, COVID times was to go to Australia to film it. What? Oh my God. Yes. I was not aware of this.

An American game show has just been filmed in Australia. So did you import everybody? Yeah. You and your co-host, who's the musician Randy Jackson? And did you have to bring the American contestants as well? They did. All the contestants are American. Everybody quarantined.

And I think it's how Randy and I really bonded because I've never met the Randy Jackson before, just a fan from TV. And because we were taken on this very, I mean, full-on journey to go all the way to Australia and taken on this anonymous bus by the, full-on journey to go all the way to Australia and taken on this anonymous bus by the government and then locked in a room where they don't give you a key. And I was like, wait, we don't get a key to our own hotel room. And they're like, well, you can't leave. So there's no way you need to get back in. I was like, got it. And there's guards outside every single hotel room. And so we would sort of have phone calls every day, just like signs of life phone calls,

what are you ordering for dinner maybe. Wow. Yeah. How long did you have to live like that before they released you to host your television show? Just 14 days. Just 14 days. That's why the opening of the pilot episode

is just 15 minutes of you kneeling and kissing the floor and weeping. Totally. It's why I'm really overexcited. I'm like, we can't die. overexcited. Oh my God. We can, we can talk to each other. We can see.

They've been locked up for 14 days. They get up, they get 22 minutes to win some money. And they're like, what is it? I know this song. I know this song. So Jane,

there's a tiny arc in 30 Rock where you play the meanest ever judge of a singing show. Great memory. America's kids got singing. That's right. That's right. I'm actually glad Amy brought that up because on that episode you were, as that character, terrible. up because on that episode you were, as that character, terrible. And one of the things I love about 30 Rock is how frankly awful and hilariously awful your character is. You're always being shallow, vain. Yes. Was that fun? Yes. When it's written by Tina Fey and Robert

Carlock, yes. And I think they made sort of their own farcical land that was 30 Rock that lived in this world of NBC that Jenna and Tracy could get away with almost anything because they knew nothing. And so you almost you almost forgave them for their horrificness because they were so ignorant. I hope. Yes, I forgive you. I mean, they set her up so well. She tells you that when they're talking about high school reunion, she's like, well, I go to my reunion, but the boat I was educated on sank. I love that.

They're giving you a lot of clues. She went to the Royal Tampa Academy of Dramatic Tricks. And she wanted to prove who was the sluttiest. And when she graduated two weeks later, she showed them. She showed them all.

I had always understood that Liz Lemon, Tina Fey's character, is based somewhat on her or how she sees herself. And Alec Baldwin's character, Jack Donaghy was based somewhat on him in real life. Did you ever worry that this was somewhat a reflection of you, this part they were writing for you? There are some questions you never ask.

Because I worked with her again in Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, who is another character who really was not fully functioning in the world either. No. And I sort of, I just don't, she writes me these amazing characters and incredible comedy and some of the best lines I'll ever say in my career. And so I love playing the parts she writes for me, but I'm not sure why she thinks I'm perfect in each role. And I really don't want to know. I don't want to know. Jane Krakowski, it is a joy to talk to you, but we have

in fact invited you here to play a game that we're calling Name That Tuna. Oh, I get it. I saw that coming. Yes, you guessed. I actually pitched a show for Discovery called Name That Tuna. Yes, we're going to ask you three questions about tuna, because you were the host, of course, of Name That Tune.

Get two right, you'll win our prize for one of our listeners, the voice of anyone they may choose in their voicemail. Bill, who is Jane Krakowski playing for? Beth Evans of San Diego, California. Oh, Beth, I'm so sorry. No, you can do this. Here we go. Here's your first question. Now, Ernest Hemingway loved to fish for tuna, but his methods were unusual. He was known to do which of these whilst angling? A. Wear down a fish's ability to fight by bringing it close enough to box with it. B. Using a machine gun. Or C.

Getting drunk because he said, quote, if you want to think like a fish, drink like a fish. Ah, I'm going to go with C because I think he was such a bold drinker. He was, in fact, a very serious drinker, but apparently not so much when he was fishing. He used a machine gun. Oh, no. Yes. Times were different then.

All right. You have two more chances. We've all had tuna melts, tuna sushi, various tuna dishes, but if you really want to explore the world of tuna, you have to try what rare delicacy? A, the national dish of Guatemala, the tuna apple turnover. B, Cuba's tuna a la Hemingway, in which raw tuna is shot into your mouth with a machine gun.

Or C, tuna tears, a cocktail served in South Korea made with fluid from the eye of a tuna. Oh, I'm going to go with C. That's right. It's disgusting, but it's real. Very good. If you get this last one right, you win it all. The most famous tuna is Charlie, the mascot for Starkist Tuna. Starkist has tried to give Charlie some friends in those advertisements. Which of these was a real character that didn't catch on? A, a millennial gamer tuna as part of a 2015 brand reboot.

B, a sexy lady tuna who was invented to promote their premium light tuna brand. Or C, Charlie's college roommate, a Marxist sardine, who keeps telling Charlie his boss is just planning to kill and eat him. Oh my God. These all sound like bad advertising ideas. I'm going to go for B. You're going to go for B? Yes, the answer is B. It's a sexy lady tuna.

Her name was Premia. She looked as if Jessica Rabbit was a blonde fish. It didn't last long. Bill, how did Jane Krakowski do on our quiz? Two out of three. Jane won. Congratulations. Yay.

I got through high school with a little help from a friend. Jane Krakowski is an award-winning actress and singer. She is also the host of Fox's Name That Tune, which now airs every Wednesday. Catch it then. Jane Krakowski, what an absolute joy to talk to you. Thank you so much for joining us. It's such a joy to talk with all of you. Thank you for having me. Let's do it again soon. Absolutely. Thank you so much. Take care. Bye-bye. Bye. In just a minute, we work up a sweat during the Listener Limerick Challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air.

We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. Support for NPR and the following message come from BetterHelp, offering online counseling. BetterHelp therapist Hesu Jo explains the importance of creating a safe space for therapy. I can't tell you how many times I've had clients that say that expression, like, I've never told that to anybody. That's when I know I've made some kind of momentous move with this person. They feel safe enough to expose that part of themselves, and doing that together with somebody else can be very powerful. To get matched with a counselor within 48 hours and save 10%, go to betterhelp.com slash wait.

The news moves fast. Listen to the NPR News Now podcast to keep up. We update stories as they evolve every hour. So no matter when you listen, you get the news as close to live as possible on your schedule. Subscribe to or follow the NPR News Now podcast. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Amy Dickinson, Maeve Higgins, and Joel Kim Booster.

week with Amy Dickinson, Maeve Higgins, and Joel Kim Booster. And here again is your host, a man who sometimes goes by his stage name, Via Getty, Peter Sagal. Thank you so much, Bill. In just a minute, Bill does the rhyme, so he does the time in our Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, a panel of some more questions for you from this week's news. Joel, during the pandemic, more and more people are breaking gender stereotypes and are starting to make their own what? Clothes? Yes, exactly. They're making their own clothes.

More and more men are taking up sewing during the pandemic. Move over, wearing no pants. The new trend is wearing pants you yourself make these men are part of a movement overcoming stereotypes like only women sew and both sleeves need to be the same length uh this new wave of fashion self-designers call themselves sewists because the new term is engendered like seamstress and also because the word sewer looks exactly like the word sewer. Hey, cool shirt. Where'd you get it?

Thanks, I got it from a real cool sewer in my neighborhood. Also, do you know something like only button on the left for men or something? Like buttons are on a different side. Yes, exactly. Why? That's insanity. I think they do the buttons like they do

so that you get humiliated as a man when you find a really cool shirt at a thrift store and realize that the buttons are on the quote unquote wrong side and you should feel bad about wearing a lady's blouse. You know that like furry guy with the horns at the Capitol? Yeah, that guy. The guy who was attacked. I wonder if he must have made his own outfit. Maybe that's where we're headed. That's true. That may be why he didn't have any top at all.

Sewists are celebrating their creations on social media. They use the hashtag dope men sew, and they create forums to share patterns that men love for things like flip flops and cargo pants and mismatched socks. It's crazy that like men can't just sew. We have to like humiliate ourselves further by creating stupid hashtags to

point out that, don't worry, I'm not like them. I'm a cool, I'm a dope man who sews. Amy, the company King of Fans has recalled almost 200,000 ceiling fans over a small defect in one of their models. What?

They detach and decapitate people? Well, they haven't decapitated anyone yet, but they do detach at high speed and fly across the room. That's exactly what I was picturing. That's exactly the problem. King of Fans, that's the name of the company, though we will see if they retain that title of King of Fans if the other fans invoke the 25th Amendment. They issued their recall of the 54-inch Mara model ceiling fan after nearly 50 reports of the blades detaching and then, we hope, embedding themselves high into nearby walls rather than low into nearby necks. I actually don't like ceiling fans, and it's partly for that reason. I just picture that.

And now I'm really picturing it. Well, this is actually one of the things, because people at Wait Wait were freaking out because they're like, oh my God, this is my nightmare. And I'm like, is this a widespread phobia? Because I have never once worried about that. I would hate to lose my ceiling fan, you know. She's my biggest fan. Jail.

Jail. Panelists, it is time for a new game that we're calling 2021. More like 2020 fun. So we all got used to hearing terrible news all the time in 2020 but now it's 2021 things are gonna get better right so we've put together a game to help you get used to hearing good news again bill curtis is going to read you the start of a headline for an actual good news story we've seen in 2021.

You finish it in 2021 fashion. Finish it correctly, get a point. Here we go. Joel, you're up first. Complete the headline. Escaped hamster faces freezing temperatures. To get back home. Close.

The actual headline was. Escaped hamster faces freezing temperatures to get to candy store. Oh! The hamster successfully made it inside a candy store in Scotland. It was safely retrieved there by happy employees. Unfortunately, the candy store did not have its favorite hard brown pellets. All right. Amy, finish this headline.

Hawaii's Mount Kilauea erupts. Lava flows. Gently to the sea. Oh, even better, Bill. Lava flows inside Volcano's crater. Yes. The lava is flowing not into a nearby village, but safely inside the Volcano's crater, exactly where you want lava to be. All right, Maeve, tell us the end of this headline.

Wendy's manager spreads. Okay, Maeve, what did the Wendy's manager spread? The toilet code so that you don't need to buy anything, but if you want to use the restroom. No, the headline finished this way, Bill. Wendy's manager spreads positivity. One I love you at a time. A Wendy's manager in Washington State has started telling every single customer I love you at a time. A Wendy's manager in Washington State

has started telling every single customer I love you. Unfortunately, so far every customer has responded, oh, I love spending time with you too. Thank you, 2021. We couldn't be happier that you are finally here. Coming up, it's lightning fell in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT.

That's 1-888-924-8924. You can always click the Contact Us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. If you want more Wait Wait in Your Week, head over to Wait Wait on Twitter want more Wait Wait in your week, head over to Wait Wait on Twitter and Wait Wait NPR on Instagram, where maybe, just maybe, if we are lucky, you will like something. Hi, you're on Wait Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi. Hi, who's this? This is Dan Englehart in Albuquerque. Hey, how are things in Albuquerque? Pretty awesome. Well, that's great to hear. Well, what do you do there? I'm a scientist.

Oh, what kind of science are you doing? I'm a space weather scientist. You mean weather in space? Well, you know, all the weather we have here on Earth has been filtered through our magnetosphere. Yeah. Once you get about past the magnetosphere, there's actually a lot of weather. And nobody appreciates the magnetosphere enough. That's true. I've always said that. So everybody appreciate the magnetosphere, there's actually a lot of weather. And nobody appreciates the magnetosphere enough. That's true. I've always said that. So everybody, appreciate the magnetosphere.

Yeah. The least appreciated spheres. Amen. Amen. Daniel, welcome to the show. Now, Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly into the limericks, you'll be a big winner. You ready to play? Yes, I am. All right. Here is your first limerick. For this house in Vermont that's for sale, the mortgage includes funds for bail. An abandoned old wing is a tiny sing-sing. Yes, the listing includes an old jail. Yes!

If you are looking to buy a house, a new listing in Vermont boasts a beautiful home with four bedrooms, an abandoned prison, and all updated appliances. According to the realtor, the house used to function as the prison for Essex County, and can now function as a prison for all your weird fetishes. The prison is

complete with jail cells, barred windows, prison toilets, and a full cast of quirky female characters with compelling and diverse backstories. It's a perfect spot for homeowners looking for a nice place to raise children and console them through endless bouts of nightmares. All right, Daniel, here is your next limerick. My fabric's supposed to get wet as it wicks a small voltage I'll get. With the armpits alone, I can power my phone,

as I harvest the power of... Sweat. Right! Sweat! Thanks to a scientific breakthrough, we can now use human sweat to produce electricity, which means that one guy who used to bike to work all the time will never have to worry about charging his phone. According to the scientists behind the process, the moisture in your sweat can be converted into energy, which could power your smart devices. But at that point, they will be known as your gross

devices. Oh, that's, I don't know. So it's in the fabric. My understanding is it has to do with the fact that it has salt in it, sweat. You would have to sweat a lot for that to work out. A SoulCycle class could power a whole city. It's true. The research is still in its infancy, I should say. Scientists are still doing beta testing with the help of a man and a Tinder date that is not going well. All right. Here is your last limerick.

While pursuing my chores and my tasks, daytime drinking I'm trying to mask. When I'm outside and hot or I'm inside and not, I will take a quick shot from my flask. Yes, flask. Flasks, otherwise known as your dad's,'s not a toy Have risen in popularity since the pandemic Online vendors have noticed a huge increase in sales Which no one will ever fact check Because it makes perfect sense Flasks are perfect for, say, socially distanced Park gatherings

And a great portable way to tell your friends Worry about me Apparently the thing is You used to be able to pop into a bar When you wanted a drink But during coronavirus you to pop into a bar when you wanted a drink, but during coronavirus, you only pop into a bar when you want coronavirus. So more people are carrying flasks with them everywhere on walks and on walks. Basically, the only thing you can do is walks.

But with flasks, you can turn to that boring walk into a thrilling stagger. With flasks, you can turn that boring walk into a thrilling stagger. My Aunt Millie used to carry, like, one of those big gulp cups around with a straw on it. That's the classy way. We knew. We knew that was not a big gulp. But I just think it's kind of, like, self-sufficient, you know, to bring your alcohol around with you and to just tap out every now and then. What do you mean tap out? I mean I'm drunk right now, Peter.

Oh, okay. Bill, how did Daniel do in our quiz? Daniel is fast and very accurate. He's perfect with his score. Congratulations, Daniel. Well done. Thanks, guys. I love the show.

Take care. Bye-bye. Bye. Now it's time to move on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Maeve has two, Amy has two, and Joel has three.

There you go. All right, so Maeve and Amy are tied. I'm going to arbitrarily decide that Maeve, you get to go first. All right? Yeah. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank, Maeve. Early on Thursday, Vice President Pence certified blanks election win.

Joe Biden. They did it. On Sunday, Nancy Pelosi narrowly won re-election to her fourth term as blank. The leader? No, speaker. Speaker of the House. Oh, yeah, yeah. According to reports, President Trump is polling his aides to decide

whether to blank himself. Pardon himself. Yes, very good. Monday, the UK denied a US extradition request for WikiLeaks founder blank. Oh, I cannot for the life of me remember that man's name. It is Julian Assange. On Tuesday, Alabama's Devante Smith became the first wide receiver to win the blank in 30 years.

No idea, but I'll tell you what I love about Alabama. The Heisman Trophy is the answer. After rumors of layoffs began spreading through a Mercedes-Benz factory in Spain, one employee blanked. Left? No, stole a bulldozer and crushed 50 brand new cars. Furious that he may lose his job, the man assured he would lose his job by stealing one of the factory's bulldozers, driving it to a parking lot, and smashing over 50 cars with it.

He then tried to drive it inside of the factory to the production line, but was stopped by security officers before he made it. Look, it is a car factory. It's not the U.S. Capitol. Oof! Bill, how did Maeve do on our quiz? Maeve had two right for four more points. She now has six and the lead!

Winning! Winning! Okay, Amy, you're up next. Fill in the blank. Following his incitement of the mob that stormed the Capitol, Facebook banned blank indefinitely. Donald Trump. Yes. This week, deaths from blank hit a single-day record of nearly 4,000 people.

COVID. Yes. On Monday, police in D.C. arrested the leader of the white nationalist group The Blanks. The Proud Boys. On Monday, over 200 workers at search giant blank announced they had unionized google yes due to the surge in coronavirus cases in california the blank awards announced they were postponing until march the grammys yes very good over the holidays a man in the uk woke up to a hangover and the news that he had spent over

a hundred dollars to blank the night before i i don't know he had woken he woke up to a hangover and the news that he had spent over $100 to blank the night before. I don't know. He had woken, he woke up to discover that he had legally changed his name to Celine Dion. Thomas Dodd, no, I'm sorry, excuse me. Celine Dion says that he was baffled when he received a big white envelope informing him of his recent legal name change, but it's all coming back to him now. Over the holidays, he enjoyed some drinks while watching a Celine Dion special and decided it was so great he had to change his name in honor

of her. He's embarrassed, but he is a frontrunner for the 2021 Grammy for Best New Celine Dion. Wow. Bill, how did Amy do in our quiz? She had five right for ten more points. She now has twelve and the lead.

All right Alright then. How many does Joel need to win? Joel needs five to win. Alright, Joel. This is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, two more Louisville officers involved in the death of blank were fired. Breonna Taylor.

Right. This week, Joe Biden picked blank to be his next attorney general. Merrick Garland. Right. On Monday, it was reported that blank had increased their uranium enrichment to 20 percent. Iran. Right. In honor of the 25th anniversary of stuffed crust pizza, Pizza Hut has announced a new menu item, blank. Stuffed crust pizza again. No, just the stuffed crust. No pizza. After a can of its product was found in the wreckage of the Capitol, Blank condemned that assault on democracy. Uh, spam.

Axe body spray. On its 12th anniversary, cryptocurrency Blank jumped to record highs. Bitcoin. Right. After she received zero job offers in three months, a woman reviewed the resume that she had posted online and discovered that the computer had blanked.

Created it blank. No, it had listed her name on her resume as Princess Banana Hammock. The woman was understandably upset that not a single employer had reached out to her, so she checked out her resume only to find out in huge letters

at the top of it, her name was listed as Princess Banana Hammock. Apparently, the Word document automatically changed her given name to her computer's username, and she did not notice. Employers did, though, and were clearly too nervous to reach out to a member of the monarchy to offer her an interview. Bill did. Joel Kim Booster do well enough to win?

Well, he had four right for eight more points for a total of 11. That means with 12, Amy is this week's champion. Whoa, Amy. Amy. Amy, well done. Coming up, our panelists predict what big renovation they'll make to the Capitol since they have to fix it up anyway. Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with

Urgent Aircar Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord, Philip Godica, Red Star Limericks, our house manager is Gianna Capodona. Our web guru is Beth Novy. BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dernbos, and Lillian King. Our new chair is Peter Gwynn. Technical direction is from Lorna White, her business and ops manager,

and trophy coordinator is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilock. The executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mike, that was a joke shirt, Danforth. Now panel, what will be the next big addition to the Capitol building when they finish fixing it up? Joel Kim Booster.

And it's been this many days since our last coup, sir. Amy Dickinson. A seven-foot unscalable wall of subpoenas. And Maeve Higgins. A little slit to pour boiling oil out of in a murder hole. And if any of that happens, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Maeve Higgins, Joel Kim Booster, and Amy Dickinson. Thanks to all of you for listening. And hey, congratulations. You made it to this year.

You didn't think you could do it, but you did it. I'm Peter Sagal. We'll see you next week. This is NPR.