Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - Phillipa Soo

Episode Date: July 17, 2021

Phillipa Soo, one of the stars of Hamilton, plays our game about a ton of ham. She is joined by panelists Gina Brillon, Helen Hong, and Mo Rocca.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Up, up and away on me, I'm your beautiful Bill Loon. Bill Curtis, and here's your host, a man who updated his resume just now when he heard he's the host of this show. It's Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill, and thanks, everybody. I'm enjoying one of the gifts of being a new parent, and that is a cold I got from my kid. Later today, we're going to be talking to Philippa Sue, star of Hamilton on Broadway, and instead of asking her questions and stuff, I'm just going to do the whole first act of the show from memory. So you'd better get your calls in now. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT.

That's 1-888-924-8924. Hi, Ryan. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Hi, Peter. This is Brad Leach from Hyde Park, New York. Hyde Park, New York, former home of Franklin Delano Roosevelt, right? That's correct. And what do you do there?

I'm an elementary school teacher. Wow. Is that something you always wanted to do? Yes, it is. Yeah. I just finished my 24th year of teaching. Wow. Wow. So do you have the experience of like actual like adults walking into your room and saying, Hey, Mr. Leach, it's me. Remember me? Oh, yes. Actually had a former student mix me a drink at a bar recently. What? No, no, no. Did he call you Mr. Leach? Yes. Here's your vodka stinger, Mr. Leach.

Yes, they did. Well, it's great to have you with us, Brad. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First, it's a comedian you can see at the House of Comedy in Phoenix on August 26th through the 29th. She just won a Gracie Award for her special The Floor is Lava on Amazon. It's Gina Brion. Hi, what's up, Brad? Hey, hi, Gina.

Next, the comedian who's in season two of the hit series Never Have I Ever out now on Netflix. It's Helen Hong. Hey, Brad, you're a saint. Hi, Helen. Thank you. Finally, the author of Mobituaries, Great Lives Worth Reliving, and starring this fall off-Broadway in the new Douglas Carter bean play Fairy Cakes, it's Mo Rocca.

Hey, Brad. Hey, Mo. Brad, welcome to the show. You're going to play Who's Bill this time. Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you will win our prize. Any voice from our show you might choose in your voicemail. You ready to go? I'm all set.

All right. Here is your first quote. I think the Democrats know what they're doing. I pray the Democrats know what they're doing. That was a Texan quoted in The Guardian talking about how Democratic lawmakers in Texas managed to prevent a voter suppression bill from passing this week simply by doing what? By leaving the state. By running away. That's exactly right. 46 Democratic lawmakers fled Texas to prevent the statehouse from having a quorum,

echoing the thousands of Democrats who had previously fled Texas because it was Texas. Now, to be honest, running is just not the Texas way. The Texas way is to trap yourself inside a small fort and get slaughtered so that someday it can be a weirdly disappointing tourist attraction. So what you're saying is running away is not the solution to my problems? Well, I feel like you guys aren't seeing how good this is. Has it worked for you, Gina? Yeah, yeah. So far, works great. So far, it has worked for the Democrats. They jumped on this charter plane and they went to D.C. That shows

how serious they are. Nobody goes to D.C. in July. And this is all true because in a picture of them on the bus from the airport, someone saw a case of Miller Lite. I mean, obviously that was a plan. If it was really something the Democrats brought, it would be like a case of Mike's soft lemonade. Please explain this to me. So the reason why they fled is because if they're not there, the rest of the state house can't vote on this thing? Right. The only way the Democrats could stop it, because all Republicans are voting for it and they outnumber the Democrats in the Texas state legislature, is to leave so that there's no quorum. Now, one reason they went to D.C. is that Texas has no legal jurisdiction there because the governor of Texas, who very much wants to pass this law, could have sent Texas state troopers to their house to grab them and bring them to the house.

That's the most Texas thing I ever heard. You either come or we will bring you. We will send Chuck Norris. So the Texas legislature is very limited in terms of its time. It's a part-time legislature. So right now they're in a special session called by the governor that lasts through August. So they have to stay away through August. But the governor says that as soon as they come back, he will call another special session until this thing is passed. So basically, they're in exile. And the idea is, well, you can't stay away from home.

I mean, you know, you can't live in a hotel, you know, away from your families. I'm a stand up comic. You can. Yes, exactly. Wait, so they all have part time jobs like they are. They're all like pool cleaning or something. Yeah, exactly. Weirdly, they're all pool cleaners. I don't know why that happens. It is interesting. They're all Texas Democrats. Their other job, they're all outdoor piano players in Austin. I think I just

have to say, I mean, I'm going to lose people here, but I think Austin is a really annoying city. If you're going to be in Texas, go for like a real Texas city, like Fort Worth or Amarillo. Austin is the Portland of the South. It really is. I one time was in a diner in Austin and asked for jelly, and the server literally looked at me and went, we don't have that product here, but can I offer you a tomato rhubarb compote? No. Yes, in Austin. And I was like, tomato rhubarb compote? No. Yes, in Austin. And I was like, are you kidding me right now?

Jelly is throwing you off. I mean, meanwhile, in Fort Worth, any kind of restaurant you go into, they'll just serve you a raw steak. It doesn't matter. It could be Japanese. It could be Indian. It could be a vegan restaurant.

And they'll give you a steak. Yes. Here is your next quote. It's a world record. That was somebody who was happy, really, to be in Death Valley, California this last week in order to be present for the world record what? For the hottest temperature. Exactly right.

The world record highest temperature. Normal people might flee from 135 degree heat or just have the common sense to lie down and die. But not weather tourists who actually went on purpose to Death Valley to experience the hottest temperatures ever recorded on Earth. Why would you do that when you can just wait 10 years and enjoy the same thing in Boston? Wow. Are there even hotels that you could stay at in Death Valley? Death Valley is a tourist destination. It's the lowest and hottest spot in North America. Europeans apparently love it because the Europeans love the images of the American West.

So they love to come out and like see Death Valley and the deserts of New Mexico. They love that stuff. Wearing nothing but sandals with socks. Exactly. Well, it's so hot, even the Germans took the socks off first. Death Valley is just raking it in right now, of course, in hopes to pull in similar tourist money. Denver has officially renamed itself Beheadingsburg. All right, moving on. Here is your last quote. If people are stupid enough to pay those prices for this crap-straction, then fine.

That was art critic Jerry Saltz talking about somebody who is selling art to people who may be more interested in the artist's father than the work itself. Who are we talking about? Oh, Hunter Biden. Hunter Biden. Yes. Mr. Biden, having failed the more typical pursuits of presidential sons, like faking your way into the Texas Air National Guard, has taken up painting and his work is being sold for prices ranging from $75,000 to $500,000, raising big ethical questions for the White House. What if somebody buys up the paintings to gain influence with the president? Why is there a series of paintings called My

Father, the Nudes? So the White House came up with this scheme. They say, we'll make it all above board. People will buy the paintings without Hunter ever knowing their names. It's going to be really embarrassing in a few years when the restrictions are lifted and Hunter finds out that all of the anonymous Biders were Dr. Jill Biden. It's true. I would buy all of my son's awful artwork. I would. And I still think it's really lousy that the former president didn't even put in a bid for Don Jr.'s finger paintings. Former president didn't even put in a bid for Don Jr.'s finger paintings.

This is the kind of thing that just makes me be like, you know, all of you need to spend time with a Korean mother for like five minutes. Why? Because there's no way that my mother would ever be like, oh, honey. She'd take one look and be like, who the hell is going to buy this crap? On the opposite side of the spectrum, if you had a Latina mother, you're too supported, far too supported. We'll go to jail for our children. Do you think that that did not work out well for you as an adult now? No, because I'm a princess. She's standing, listeners can't see this, but her mother's standing right behind

her holding up an applause sign right now. Bill, how did Brad do in our quiz? Brad got three right. Congratulations, Brad. Well done. Thank you. It was a lot of fun. Thank you, Brad.

Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Gina, there's a new app called Swimply. What, Gina, is Swimply? Swimply, maybe using chlorine water to get rid of your pimples. Swimply. Why would you need an app for that? Can I have a hint? It's for when you find yourself when you have goggles and a floaty and know where to go.

Oh, so it's a way that you can find pools or bodies of water that you can swim in? I'll give it to you. It's Airbnb for pools. What? You can rent people's houses on Airbnb, right? So why not? They're swimming pools. Users or pool swims get a place to cool off and pool owners get a bunch of.

I'm sorry. Did you say pool swims? Pool swims. That sounds like a pool version of a pimp. Pool swims. It kind of is. The app is a pool version of a pimp because it's pimping out your pool. You mentioned it.

Yeah. Well, it's also, I mean, not all pools are created equal. I mean, like if you have somebody who's used to an infinity pool and then they show up and it's an above ground pool, they're going to be really upset. Well, right. But I mean, it's just like Airbnb or anything else. There's pictures. There's pictures. You can see what it's like. Yeah.

You could shoot the above ground pool to make it look luxurious, Peter. You sure can. Right. You just need the right angle. By the way, why are we so snobby about above ground pools? It's the ladder. You can use an above-ground pool to make it look luxurious, Peter. You sure can, right? You just need the right angle. By the way, why are we so snobby about above-ground pools? It's the ladder. It's climbing the ladder bit.

That's just – there's something just not sexy about it. So why is – I mean, the ladder per se cannot be the problem. You just can't do – you know how, like, in every movie when they show, like, the hot person getting out of the pool and it's always, like, they lift – they, like they launch themselves up onto the pool deck. If you did that in an above ground pool. Exactly. Bo Derek would have toppled over and broken her neck. Exactly. Coming up, it's one small step for man, one giant drunken stagger for beer.

The groundbreaking beer theme of the local listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. Good question. That's a really good question. It's a great question. This is free therapy. Thank you for asking me that.

God, that's such a good question. That's an interesting question. But what Fresh Air interviews are really about are the interesting answers. Listen and subscribe to Fresh Air from WHYY and NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Mo Rocca, Gina Brion, and Helen Hong. And here again is your host, the man who's always wondered what those funny strings on his shoes are for, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Right now it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff the Listener Game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game in the air. Hi's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff the Listener game.

Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game in the air. Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is David Gossett calling from Cincinnati, Ohio. Hey, David. How are you? What do you do there in Cincinnati? Well, I actually work in luxury retail, the luxury that you drink one coffee capsule at a time.

Ooh, you work for Nespresso, don't you? There you go. Absolutely right. That was an easy quiz. Do you get to hang out with George Clooney all the time? Is he just hanging around the lobby drinking Nespresso? You know, he grew up right across the river from Cincinnati in northern Kentucky, but he has not stopped to buy anytime soon. Oh, well, that's too bad. Well, David, it is great to have you on the show. You're going to play the game in which you have to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is David's topic? Hold my beer, because I have a new idea.

People love drinking beer, yet for some reason, beer companies think they actually need to advertise to get people to drink it. Our panelists are going to tell you about a new frontier in beer advertising. Pick the one who's telling the truth, and you'll win our prize, the weight-waiter of your choice in your voicemail. Ready to go? Ready to go, yes, sir. All right, let's do it.

Let's first hear from Helen Hong. Ah, the stuff of dreams. Flying, being chased by lions, realizing you're naked at work, and guzzling a cold, refreshing 12- or 24-ounce Coors Lager, 4.2% alcohol by volume, please drink responsibly. Yes, the Coors Brewing Company has figured out how to infiltrate your dreams. No, this is not a horrifying Black Mirror episode. It's an actual marketing campaign tested by Coors earlier this year. The beer giant encouraged people to watch

a short online video before bed, then play an eight-hour soundscape overnight. This targeted dream incubation would then trigger, quote, refreshing dreams, of course, according to the company. Um, yikes, exclaimed top sleep researchers, who this week published an open letter warning the public about companies using targeted dream incubation. The experts cautioned against ad campaigns weaponizing sleep, saying, quote, something like 30 million people have Alexa-type devices in their bedroom, and those devices can play anything they want, whenever they want,

and advertisers could buy advertising time they want played at like 2.30 in the morning. So if you suddenly wake up hankering for a middling product that you would never normally crave, toss out your Google Home, re-watch Inception, and be very, very afraid. Coors, figuring out a way to get you to dream about their product, your next story of marketing that's new-ski for brewskis comes from Gina Brion. For years, beer companies have been criticized for

using scantily clad models and unrealistic body standards to sell their product. Now Heineken is saying, how about not at all clad models and very realistic body standards. Heineken's new Heineken campaign features real beer drinkers all in the nude. Naked, regular people doing regular beer drinking stuff, throwing darts at a bar, watch out. Grilling sausages by the pool, definitely watch out. Falling asleep in a beach chair, hope he bought sunscreen and a lot of sunscreen. Heineken says that they were inspired by the Dove ads promoting body positivity by showing real women in real bodies. Said a spokesperson, we felt it was time for some beer belly positivity. While the ads have stirred up some controversy, Heineken says their competitor Budweiser had news in their ads for years.

Quote, either finally put some pants on those Clydesdales or stop complaining. Heineken does ads featuring real beer drinkers with their real beer bodies in the nude. And your last story about the old barley pop comes from Mo Rocca. And your last story about the old barley pop comes from Mo Rocca. When COVID-19 was declared a pandemic, the makers of Corona beer were understandably concerned. But what's happened since then has surprised the beer industry. Corona beer sales actually surged 30% of the past 16 months due to the increased name recognition brought by the virus. Competitor Anheuser-Busch has taken note and is set to introduce a line of what they're calling pale ailments distributed by

their new Anheuser-Thrush division. Says marketing chief Carol Kessel, people spend all day googling diseases and disorders. Linking your brand to something that makes you sick can, in fact, make you rich. And so, Stella Artois will be repackaged as Stella Arteriosclerosis, Modelo Especial as Modelo Es Cifilis, PBR as IBS, and Milwaukee's Best as Milwaukee's Best. As Kessel, we stayed away from serious illnesses. We didn't want the names to be in poorer taste than our beer. Alright, here are your choices. Some beer company has

decided on a new way of advertising their product. Is it from Helen Hong, Coors figuring out a way to make you dream about their beer when you sleep. From Gina, Heineken with an ad campaign featuring real beer drinkers with their real beer bellies and beer everything else in the nude. Or from Mo Rocca, beers trying to get with Corona onto that pandemic bandwagon of free publicity.

Which of these is the real story of a beer ad campaign in the news? Well, they all sound like possibilities, but I'm going to go with the body positive story for Heineken and Gina. You're going to choose Gina's story of how Heineken is featuring real beer drinkers with their real beer drinking bodies in the nude trying to convince people to drink their beer. Yes, sir. All right. That's your choice. Well, to find out the correct answer, we spoke to someone who has a relationship with this campaign. Coors saw the paper and said, oh, alter their behavior by incubating dreams. And that's exactly what they tried to do. That was Robert Stickgold.

He's author of When Brains Dream. And he's one of the co-signers of that open letter Helen mentioned against Kors' new advertising technique. I'm sorry. Gina, in her debut on the show, managed to convincingly lie. Good for you, Gina. You didn't win, but you did earn Gina a point, which, of course, I'm sure means a lot to her because she's never done this before. It was pretty awesome.

You're her first. She deserved it. Heine can. You deserved it, Gina. Thank you so much for playing. Thanks very much. Have a good day. Bye-bye, David. Thank you so much for playing. Thanks very much. Have a good day. Bye-bye, David.

Bye-bye. late. Beer o'clock, you know I worked all day for. Beer o'clock, you know quick time round here is beer o'clock. And now the game where people who have risen to the top visit with us folks at the bottom. Philippa Soo went to Juilliard to train as a performer and immediately got cast in a huge off-Broadway hit that then went to Broadway. And then while she was doing that, she got a call from this Lin-Manuel Miranda guy asking her if she wanted to be in his new musical. She created the role of Eliza Hamilton on Broadway and was just nominated for an Emmy for the televised version of that performance. Philippa Su, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hello. Thank you for having me.

How many times do people see you on the street and run up and immediately launch into the Schuyler sisters, as I am about to do now? I would say about, I don't know, 10% of the time. 10%, which is a fair amount. Depends on where I am. If I'm closer to Midtown, maybe more often. Girl, work, work. Does it tend to happen in like particular places? Well, I mean, I'll tell tell you this much more than any work works or any sort of like skylar sisters stuff um you know i've had a lot of zoom conversations about

hamilton in the past year as we all have uh not about hamilton necessarily but zoom conversations um and it's always about that gasp oh right that's always a sort of common question and topic for people who haven't seen Hamilton, the show ends kind of weirdly, not with like a big musical whatever, but with your character, who's like the last person living on stage. And it's just this weird moment where she, you,

looks into the distance, like above the blaster of the audience, and gasps. And that's the end of the show. Well, right. And then don't stop, leave, and starts playing at that point. Exactly. It's very strange. It suddenly comes in, and we don't know if you live or die.

It's very mysterious and a little unsatisfying. So the question you must always get is, what are you looking at when you gasp, right? That's what everybody wants to know, I'm assuming. Or what are you thinking about? Well, you know, people don't like this answer answer but it's true because it's the theater which is it's different it was different every day it was different every show i mean really yeah it was it was different every show i mean sometimes like you know there would be like a week where i feel

like i would be exploring the idea of like looking out and seeing something, you know, very tangible, like, like see, like seeing like, um, you know, the orphanage or seeing like all the things that I'm, I've been talking about, like in the past song that I've been singing. And then sometimes it was a little bit more, um, like figurative, like looking into the future or, you know, was it, was it ever something mundane? Like you finished this big musical and you're like, Oh God, I left the oven off. I thought, I thought you were gasping at Madonna on her cell phone.

She, she actually came to the show and right. And we spent the whole time on her cell phone. Yeah, I guess. I didn't see her, but I heard about it. You did get a lot of celebrity visits to the show who often went backstage to take pictures with the cast. Like, there's a picture we found of you with, for example, Beyonce. Yes.

And did that go around? Like, oh, tonight Beyonce's going to be there or tonight the president's going to be there? Well, the president, I guess you'd know. But, I mean, did you guys know who you were performing for in any given night if there was somebody famous? You know, I mean, some people really liked to know. I know Lynn really liked to know who was out there. And that sort of like was really, there because I didn't want to,

you know, make myself more scared about doing the entirety of Hamilton than I already was. So, so I was like, no, don't tell me who's out there, but I know I could see in people's faces.

Like when somebody special was there, you got to be able to see Beyonce in the crowd. Like there's no way you cannot. Well, she does glow. Yes. She glows and she floats through midair. You got to be able to see Beyonce.

And then there's that single stream of light that just, you know, comes down from the sky on her always. That could have motivated the gasp every night. Yeah, it's Beyonce. I have a question and I'll preface it by saying that I am one. I am a big Hamilton fan. But as the recipient of this worship, do we Hamilton fans ever sometimes get annoying? Be honest. Wow, she's taking a long time to answer. Yeah, that was so awesome. I guess it could get annoying if like somebody like tried

to like scare me on the street and they just start singing like the Schuyler sisters. Like, I guess that would be kind of annoying, but ultimately like the fans have been so sweet and so nice and just like excited and just like, you know, it's just the, and they're all really young too. There's a lot of like young kids. Yeah, I know. I know that there are five-year-olds dressed up as you. I know. You won a Grammy for the cast album.

Is that right? Yes. Yes, we did. And we found a picture of you taking a shot out of your Grammy, which I did not know was possible. Well, that was actually a shot out of David's Grammy, I believe. Oh, really? Oh, you're not going to take a shot out of david's grammy i believe oh really oh you're not going to take a shot out of your own grammy no no no i keep it very nice and i

dust it every once in a while it sits on a shelf in my living room yeah no david was definitely like we're taking shots out of the gram a bunch of us did that and you're up for an emmy now because of the the filmed version of Hamilton, which is very exciting. Have you thought about what you might drink out of your Emmy? I don't know. Can it hold liquid? I don't think so. The Emmys I've seen, they have that kind of globe that's made of bands of metal.

You might have to fountain it, like hold it above your head and have it dribble down over the Emmy and then into your mouth. Yeah, exactly. Ellen, that was brilliant. Thank you. Spoken like an alcoholic. Well, Phillip Basu, we're thrilled to talk to you, as I hope we've shown. But we have asked you here to play a game we're calling Hamilton. Try a ton of ham.

You starred in Hamilton, so we're going to ask you about a ton of ham. Oh, my gosh. Answer two out of three questions about ham, and you'll win our prize for one of our listeners, the voice of their choice on their voicemail. Bill, who is Philippa Soo playing for? Michael Dennehy of Boston, Massachusetts. All right. Ready to do this?

All right, all right, all right. Okay. You just did like this head swagger that indicates extreme confidence. Like you came to play. I came to win it. Okay. I love this. All right. Are you surprised?

This is a woman who drinks out of her Grammy. No, she's a woman who drinks out of other people's Grammys. Better, better. To maintain the hygiene of her own. Exactly. That's how gangster she is. Okay. Let's say you're a big enthusiast for ham.

If so, you can enjoy which of these in addition to eating ham? A, you can visit one of the many museums of ham throughout the country of Spain. B, you can visit the Ham Spa in southern France where you are fed acorns and cured in salt, just like a ham. Or C, you can visit or even compete in the famed Westminster Ham Show? I feel like the answer is A. You feel like the answer is museums of ham in Spain, and you're right.

Oh! As you may know, as you may know, the Spanish people love their jamón, and there are many museums of ham where you can see exhibits of the making of their jamón. Perhaps the world's most famous ham is a particular ham that was made in 1902 by the Gwaltney Foods Company in the UK. Why is it so famous? A. It is the only ham ever declared kosher by a rabbi because, quote, God wouldn't keep us from eating something this delicious.

B. It looks quite a lot like the Virgin Mary, so it is worshipped as the Immaculate Porkception. Or C. The owner of the company put a collar and leash on it and introduced it to people as his pet. I think I'm going to go with B. You're going to go with the immaculate porkception? Yeah. No, I'm afraid it was actually C. The owner of the company carried this thing around on a leash and a collar to introduce it as his pet. We're not quite sure why, but the ham is still there.

Still, nobody ate it. And you can see it right now. We'll wait till after the show, everybody. Via the ham cam, courtesy of the Museum of the Isle of Wight, where the ham resides. My jaw has dropped. It in fact has, just the listeners know, her jaw in fact dropped.

Oh. Now this is fine, this is fine, because you can still win with this last question. Ham is sometimes used for purposes other than, say, lunch, such as which of these a a chinese company paid its creditors with ham instead of money be the ham ball league of southern portugal a version of baseball in which the ball is struck with a whole bone in ham or see the hamophone a special

instrument played in slovakian orchestras made entirely out of ham oh my gosh b so you're suggesting that there's a league in Portugal where they play a version of baseball in which they swing a leg of ham. Okay. Yeah. In retrospect, I think B was an insane answer. I don't know why. I'm going to say A because I know how obsessed my family is. My Chinese family is with food and I feel like food is everything. You're exactly right. It was A. The company, which as you can imagine, processes ham, offered ham to its creditors instead of money because they had run out of money.

Then, of course, they started running out of ham. Bill, how did Philippa Soo do in our quiz? She got two out of three right. That's good enough on our show. Philippa Soo is an Emmy-nominated actor and singer who originated the role of Eliza Schuyler in Hamilton. Her newest project, The Stand-In, is available now from Audible.

Phillipa Su, what a delight to talk to you. Thank you for everything. Thank you, guys. Such a thrill. Bye-bye. In just a minute, Bill plays us a little song in his little guitar. It's our Listener Limbrick Challenge called 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait a little song at his little guitar. It's our listener limber challenge.

Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. This message comes from NPR sponsor Odoo. Is your old software making it impossible to keep up with demand? Then it is time to switch to Odoo. Is your old software making it impossible to keep up with demand? Then it is time to switch to Odoo. Odoo is a suite of business applications designed to streamline, automate, and simplify any company. Odoo has apps for everything. CRM, inventory, manufacturing, sales, accounting, you name it. Odoo's got you covered. So, stop wasting time and start getting stuff done with Odoo.

For a free trial, go to odoo.com slash wait. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Helen Hong, Mo Rocca, and Gina Brion. And here again is your host, And Gina Brion, and here again is your host, a man who knows there's still a third of the show left, and is wondering if he can hold it, Peter Segal. Thank you, Bill. In just a minute, Bill sees a double rainbow. Wow. In our Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-888-888. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you guys from this week's news. Helen, Tel Aviv, Israel, has passed a new law.

This one's fun. To stop the scourge of dog poop left on the sidewalk, dog owners must now provide what to the city? Dog owners must provide a dog poop DNA so that they... Yes, exactly right. They have to submit a sample of their dog's DNA. No! Apparently, people are leaving souven sample of their dog's DNA. No! Apparently, people are leaving souvenirs of their dogs all over Tel Aviv. So the city government did what any city government

would do and just cleaned it up. Nope, just kidding. That's not expensive enough. Instead, they have instituted a program where any dog dropping left illegally on the sidewalk will be collected and its DNA will be tested by the city to match its owner. It's like a fingerprint system. It is.

It's very much like a fingerprint system. So don't think you can get away with it anymore, dog owners of Tel Aviv. Wait, so instead of just picking it up and tossing it in the trash, they're picking it up, putting it through like a lab testing situation? Yeah, because they want to find out who did it. They're not going to let you get away with that. Oh, that is so, wow. That's hardcore Tel Aviv it is i mean i mean

letting your dog poop like that it's really not kosher hey of course it can also be heartbreaking when people find out when they get the dna test back they're not their dog's real father oh mo hawaiian officials are holding a lottery and lucky winners will receive what? A trip off the island? I don't know. I mean... No, why would anyone want to leave? No, exactly. They get to stay in Hawaii. Can I have a clue? Yeah, you might not end up being a billionaire, but you might be a

billionaire. A billion... I don't know what that means. Is it something related to food? Is it money? Is it... A billy. A goat! They'll win goats! A goat! Yes, they're raffling off goats. That's right. A Hawaiian goat lottery isn't just how your grandfather describes the DMV during lunch hour. It's a real thing. lunch hour. It's a real thing. The Department of Land and Natural Resources will conduct a lottery to remove invasive goats from the Pu'uhona National Historic Park in Hawaii. And if you win,

you get a goat. Or maybe if you lose, you get a goat. We're just not sure. Wait, so they're trying to get rid of the goats on the island by giving goats to random people? Well, no, not random people, lottery winners. That sounds not like a good plan. Especially now, people got all these dogs during the pandemic and now people are going back to work and they're returning the dogs. I feel like that's going to happen with the goats. People are going to be like three months in like, oh God, I can't, I can't handle this goat.

Do you think people might enter the goat lottery just on a whim? Oh, it's a goat lottery. What the heck? Hey, what could be the worst thing that happened? And then the next thing you know, they own a goat. They own a goat. And then they realize like they're all their furniture is getting eaten and goats are loud and smelly. And they go, ugh.

And then they dump the goat in the park. That's supposed to get rid of the goat. And then they have to be lotteried off again. Exactly. So it's an endless goat cycle. It's a Hawaiian goat lottery cycle. By the way, word to the wise people in Hawaii, if you win the goat lottery, don't take the annuity. Get the lump goat.

goat lottery don't take the annuity get the lump goat mo this week we learned that drug dealers in the uk have found a new way to sell cocaine they're raising prices by claiming that the drugs are what oh that the cocaine cures covid no oh not that okay give me a clue then uh well uh it's also shade grown uh sold through fair trade oh Oh, they're claiming that the cocaine is actually coffee or that, yeah, that it will wake you up in the morning. No, I think it will wake you up in the morning. I don't think they need to lie about that. Oh, that it's micro farmed, that it's... I think you got it. Yes. Basically, that it's ethically sourced. Drug dealers have been selling what they call ethically sourced. Oh, okay. Right? Drug dealers have been selling what they call

ethically sourced and conflict-free cocaine, or as it's called, woke coke. This appeals to their customers who are more socially conscious and stupid. We assume that they sell this stuff

in little reusable hemp dime-sized tote bags. That is so funny. It's like artisanal. You can meet the farmers. Oh, yeah. You can hear about the background of the coca leaves. Right.

It's like the dealers have little stalls, and you can see the picture of the cartel member who murdered people to get the cocaine to use. So you know who you're buying from. So it's Say hello to my small business friend. Yes, exactly. Coming up, it's lightning fell in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT.

That's 1-888-924-8924 or click the contact us link on our website. That's waitwait.npr.org. You can find out about our upcoming live, real, in-person shows in Philadelphia August 5th and at Tanglewood in Western Mass August 26th. And enjoy Wait Wait with your eyes and thumbs by following us at Wait Wait on Twitter and at WaitWaitNPR on Instagram. You can get news about the show and participate in the Emma Fam Club. We get it, guys. You all love Emma. Hi, you're on WaitWait, don't tell me.

Hi, this is Jessica. Jessica, where are you calling from? I am calling from Lowell, Massachusetts. Lowell? I know Lowell well. What do you do there? Well, I am the executive director of a nonprofit in Lowell called Mill City Grows. So we do urban agriculture and we promote food justice in Lowell

to make sure that fresh food is available for everybody in the city. Wow. I know food justice is a very serious topic, but the phrase does bring up the image of a door flinging open and a carrot standing there saying, now let's see who gets graded. You know, I mean, it's like there's a... That could best definitely be one interpretation. Jessica, welcome to the show. Now, Bill Curtis right here is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly into the limericks, you'll be a winner.

You ready to play? I'm ready. Let's do it then. Here's your first limerick. I am trying to fix my home's holding walls when my whole backyard does a weird rolling sprawl. I sit and I mutter at splits, strikes, and gutters. I'm digging up hundreds of... Oh, that is a tricky one. It's a tricky one. Let's hear it again. I'm trying to fix my home's holding walls

when my whole backyard does a weird rolling sprawl. I sit and I mutter at splits, strikes, and gutters. I'm digging up hundreds of... Bowling balls? Yes, you got it! Bowling balls! A Michigan man renovating his back steps was surprised to find 160 bowling balls under his house. Although looking back when he bought his house, it did have gigantic gutters. He learned there used to be a Brunswick bowling ball factory nearby,

and when he contacted the company, they said, well, there was that one employee who always had really bulgy pants when he left for the day. No, actually, it turns out that back in the 50s, the factory would let employees take home defective bowling balls to use instead of gravel and sand in their construction. But how do you mess up that many bowling balls in a bowling ball factory? Oh, dang, I made a bowling cube again. Wait, so they would be like, oh, yeah, you're doing backyard work. Yeah, you can fill in your backyard with bowling balls. Yeah, here, use this for gravel.

Apparently, they didn't really understand gravel. Guys, gravel is tiny, tiny. All right, here is your next limerick. As guitar centers' sales grew new daily, it's a new thing we think you'll do gaily. It's a new thing we think you'll do gaily. Soon everyone croons some sweet island tunes. Because we all got a new... Hmm. Island tunes is a clue.

We'll hear that one again, too. Oh, oh, oh, oh. I think I know it. All right, well, do you know it? You were going to say it. I was going to say it. I think it's ukulele. It is ukulele.

I was going to say it. I think it's ukulele. It is ukulele. Apparently, ukuleles have been flying off the shelves during the pandemic. The guitar center chain said sales of ukuleles rose 300% in 2020, and the trend is continuing this year. It looks like 2021 is going to be a huge year for quiet, melodramatic covers of rap music. Many people purchased their ukuleles hoping to pick up a new talent before they went back out into the world. That explains why your uncle keeps inviting everyone over for a bonfire. He's just waiting for the perfect moment to spring somewhere over the rainbow on you.

All right, here is your last limerick. In the Midwest, the lakes can be coldish, but there are many a household pet's bold wish. Once out of their bowls, they can grow coldish. But there are many a household pet's bold wish. Once out of their bowls, they can grow many fold. And our lakes contain football-sized goldfish. Yes, you're going to need a bigger bowl. Experts are warning that giant invasive goldfish are taking over lakes throughout the U.S. They grow to the size of footballs. This is particularly concerning for the fish's natural enemy, those little tiny scuba divers who hover over treasure chests.

It's weird we're comparing them to footballs, right? Can we just use them as footballs? Oh, I love tossing around the old fish skin. Things are getting so bad that one city in Minnesota enacted a three-year plan to deal with the goldfish, but they'll probably get tired of the plan after six months and end up flushing it down the toilet. Bill, how did Jessica do on our quiz?

Jessica showed us how to play the game. She got three right for the perfect score. Woo-hoo! Congratulations, Jessica. Thank you. I'm so excited. Thanks so much for playing. Thank you so much for having me. It was fun. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Now it's time to move on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which they answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Mo has three, Helen has three, and Gina has four. Oh my goodness. All right. That means that Mo and Helen are tied, and I'm just going to choose Helen to go first.

Okay. Here we go, Helen. You're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Thursday, tax credits for households with blanks began being dispersed. Children. Yes. On Monday, the FDA warned of the possible link between blanks vaccine and an autoimmune disorder. Johnson and Johnson. Right. This week, the Pentagon confirmed that one of the men accused of assassinating the president of blank had U.S. military training. Was it Haiti?

Yes. Thanks to a missed filing deadline, the governor of blank cannot run as a Democrat for his upcoming recall election. California. Right. This week, a high-speed police chase came to a thrilling end after the woman they were chasing blanked. Stopped for donuts? Close. Pulled into a McDonald, stopped for donuts? Close. Pulled into a McDonald's to order some food there. On Wednesday, federal regulators filed a lawsuit against online giant blank over product recalls.

Amazon. Right. On Sunday, Italy defeated blank to win their second European soccer championship. England. Yes. This week, a woman in Japan was arrested after she blanked the Olympic torch.

Uh, blew it out? Uh, almost. She tried to arrested after she blanked the Olympic torch. Blew it out? Almost. She tried to put it out with a squirt gun. The woman was caught on camera spraying the torch with a squirt gun while screaming, Extinguish the torch fire! I'm against the Olympics! Security was on the scene immediately, arresting the woman and getting the torch to a secure location. But oh no! What's that above the door? A bucket of water? This was her plan all along. Bill, how did Helen do on our quiz this week? Very well.

She had six for 12 more points. She now has 15 and the lead. All right. Very well done. Mo, you are up next. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, the CDC confirmed that blank cases have risen in 45 states. Coronavirus.

Yes. According to a new book, the Joint Chiefs of Staff were worried Blank would try to stage a coup in 2020. Donald Trump. Yes. After undergoing surgery last week, Blank made his first public appearance in Rome on Sunday. The Pope. Right. On Monday, the top U.S. commander serving in Blank officially stepped down as the military continues its withdrawal from that country. Afghanistan. Right. This week, officials in Australia announced they were reclassifying shark attacks as blanks. Fish crimes. No, shark negative encounters.

On Thursday, streaming service Blank announced plans to offer video games starting in 2022. Netflix. Yes. According to a new DOJ report, the FBI gravely mishandled their investigation into USA Gymnastics doctor Blank. Larry Nassar. That's right. This week, the government in China called Blank one of the greatest threats to the country's stability.

Oh, it's either the protest movement or the Uyghurs. No, people chilling. The Communist Party in China, just hanging out. The Communist Party in China has started to censor groups promoting the practice of Tang Ping, which literally translates to lying flat. Apparently, advocates for the movement are calling on people to just, you know, lay on the couch, do as little as possible. It's very similar to the American idea known as working from home.

Bill, how did Mo do on our quiz? He got six right for 12 more points. That means that with 15, he is tied with Helen for the lead. Ties are so boring, so Gina has to beat us. It's just so boring to tie. All right, Gina. How many then, Bill,

does Gina need to win and just walk away with this on her first time here? She needs six to win. All right, Gina, here we go. This is for the game. On Monday, dozens of demonstrators were arrested during protests calling for the president of blank to resign. Cuba? Yes.

This week, several lawyers for Donald Trump faced sanctions over their lawsuits related to the 2020 blank. Impeachment? Election. No, election this time. Election, election, election. A little late, Mo. According to U.S. officials, nuclear talks with Blank may resume in the fall. China? No, Iran.

Mo, if you're going to mutter, mutter the correct answer. Thanks to extreme heat across the state, wildfires in Blank have continued to expand. California? Yes. On Wednesday, a federal judge granted Blank's request to hire her own lawyer in her conservatorship. Britney Spears. Yes. On Tuesday, the Crown and the Mandalorian tied for the most 2021 blank

nominations. Emmy? Yes. Following a bad breakup, a woman in China got revenge on her ex by blanking. Cutting off his a**? No. Borrowing his car and running 49 red lights. The woman got some friends to help her get the

car and then proceeded to joyride it through the city so the police would catch it on camera running almost 50 red lights. If she really wanted to hurt him, she should have been caught on those cameras with a fresh haircut enjoying a bunch of new hobbies and holding a sign saying, I'm thriving. Bill, did Gina do well enough to win? Oh, she came so close. She got four right with eight more points, total of 12, which means that with 15, we have a tie. Mo and Hela, they're this week's co-champions. Congratulations, guys.

So it's now time for the shootout. Oh, yikes. No, you must penalty kicks. Penalty kicks. In just a minute, we'll ask our panelists to predict how Texas will lure back the Democratic lawmakers who fled. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Texas will lure back the Democratic lawmakers who fled. Wait, wait, don't tell me.

It's a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Godeka writes our limericks. Our house manager is Gianna Capodona. Our social media superstar is Emma Choi. Our web guru is Beth Novy. BJ Liederman, composer. Our theme, our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King.

Special thanks to Vinnie Thomas. Our beheading fact checker is Peter Gwynn. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer, that's Ian Chilog. And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mike Danforth. Now, panel, how will Texas get those Democrats to come back?

Gina Brion. Four words. Free barbecue for life. Helen Hong. 20-gallon hats, because why stop at 10, Texas? And Mo Rocca. Nothing seduces a keep-Austin-weird liberal more than the strains of an outdoor piano player. Republicans will fly a wheeled baby grand to D.C. and Pied Piper-like lure the

lawmakers back with a 1,500-mile-long medley of Billy Joel, Loggins and Messina, and Cat Stevens. Well, if any of that happens, we're going to ask you about it right here on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thanks to Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Helen Hong, Mo Rocca, and Gina Brion. Thanks to all of you for listening. And by the way, thanks to all of your nice messages to me while I was out. I am Peter Sagal, and we'll see you next week. This is NPR.