Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - Regina King

Episode Date: October 12, 2019

Regina King, actor, joins us along with panelists Paula Poundstone, Mo Rocca, and Shannon O'Neill.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

From NPR in WBZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Filling in for Bill Curtis, I'm Chioki Ianson, one of the voices of the NPR credits and the only voice of your NPR dreams. And here is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Chioki. Thank you, everybody. It.G. Thank you, everybody. It's great to be with you. Now, Bill Curtis is off this week.

He's working his other job, smiting sinners from on high with lightning bolts. But he's going to regret taking this week off because later on, we get to talk to Regina King, the Oscar-winning actor who's starring in a new series called Watchmen on HBO. It's an updating of a classic show, HBO's Walkman, about a man and his portable cassette player. Call us with whatever device you might have.

The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hello, this is Steve Hirschfeld from McFarland, Wisconsin. Hey, Steve, how are you? I'm fine, thanks. How are you? I'm well, thank you. Now, where is McFarland, Wisconsin? I don't know it. Oh, well, it's right outside of Madison. All right, I thought you were in the greater Madison metroplex. And what do you do there near Madison? Oh, I'm a bureaucrat.

You're a bureaucrat, I see I see. You just lead with that. Well, I couldn't come up with anything that was shorter than that, but I work in public transit at the Department of Transportation. Well, I am a big fan of public transit, so I'm not going to make fun of you, but let me ask you, when you hear people, because bureaucrats are ragged on all the time, oh, the bureaucrats are holding it up, or the bureaucrats. Do you get personally offended? No, they're right. Oh, okay. Well, with your permission, then, we'll continue to do that.

But first, Steve, let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, it's a comedian performing New Year's Eve at the Sidney Goldstein Theater in San Francisco. It's the host of Nobody Listens to Paula Poundstone. That would be Paula Poundstone. San Francisco. It's the host of Nobody Listens to Paula Poundstone. That would be Paula Poundstone. Next, it's the host of the podcast Mobituaries and now the author of the book Mobituaries, which you should all pre-order now. It's Mo Rocca. And finally, making her debut on our program, it's a performer and host of the improvised talk show

Strangers Wanted at Upright Citizens Brigade in New York on October 23rd. It's Shannon O'Neill. So, Steve, we're all here. We're ready to go. You're going to play Who's Chioki This Time. Chioki Ianson, right here, is going to read for you three quotations from the week's news. Your job, of course, identify or explain just two of them. Do that, you will win our prize,

the voice of anyone you might choose from our show on your voicemail. Are you ready to play? Yes, I am. All right. Your first quote is from a letter sent to the House of Representatives from the White House. The president cannot allow your proceedings to distract him. So what is distracting the president? I believe that would be the impeachment inquiry. Yes, the impeachment inquiry. Very good. Very legal. Very cool. This week, in response to the House Democrats' impeachment inquiry,

the White House announced its response. Nope. They'd rather not be impeached. Thank you. This is weird. Presidents under investigation have tried a lot of things, but this is the first president to try ghosting the Constitution. Well, they have a good point, which is he's so easily distracted. Really? Yeah, I mean, a woman walks by anything.

Yeah, I know, it's true. They have to protect him. You know, a penny on the floor. Yeah. It's distracting. Yeah, but just so easily distracted. The White House sent an eight-page letter to Nancy Pelosi that insulted her and Adam Schiff

and threatened that if they didn't send a copy to eight of their friends, they'd all be impeached. This letter is amazing. It is signed by a lawyer, the White House Counsel, but its legal argument boils down to, nuh-uh, that's it. Is it a lawyer wrote it? Did Rudy write it?

Rudy, well, we don't know who wrote it. Rudy Giuliani. Rudy hasn't. I'm so upset. He gives a lisp such a bad name. Does Rudy lisp? Yes. Oh, yeah.

And I've spent my life trying to rebrand the lisp. You know, President Trump is innocent, suffering psych attack. No, he has a lisp, and it's a ruined lisp. We've come so far. And think about what he's done for the image of bald men. It was so positive prior to him. Rudolf Giuliani seems to be in trouble because just this week he has these two shady associates.

These are the Ukrainians, right? Born in Russia, live in America, but they've been sort of going back and forth to Ukraine, helping him to set up his dirty deals there, and they were arrested. Allegedly laundering money to give to the... Yes, accused of laundering money to give to President Trump and other Republican candidates,

and they were arrested at Dulles Airport with one-way tickets to Europe. Yeah. Trump 2020. Yes, Ukraine. There's only one thing I want to add before we finally move on, and that is that one of these shady Ukrainian associates,

as part of his business, owns a beach club in Odessa in Ukraine called Mafia Rave. I am not kidding. I mean, you can say what you want about Nixon, but his friends didn't own a club called Burglar Bar. Steve. I'm still here.

I'm so glad. So, Steve, your next quote. Steve, now your next quote is a single tweet that was sent by the general manager of the Houston Rockets. Fight for freedom. Stand with Hong Kong. Just that tweet caused a huge crisis when the entire nation of China got really mad at what organization? I'd like to check with an associate on that. No, please. Do you have one handy?

Yeah, no, I'm just kidding. The NBA. The NBA, yes. The NBA National Basketball Association. China is a huge market for the NBA, so the slightest hint of support for democracy protesters in Hong Kong brought the hammer down. The NBA completely folded. They deleted the tweet.

They apologized profusely, and just to cover all their bases, they blackballed Colin Kaepernick. Are you happy now, China? But it didn't work. China wanted to make them learn their lesson. So they took Houston Rockets games off TV in China. They literally painted over the Rockets logo in one of the gyms where it was.

All of this because of one tweet. Imagine if the Rockets had done something really offensive, like hung out with George Bush at a football game. My moral compass is set by the NFL. Yes. I never would have thought to look to the NBA. All of a sudden, giving people brain damage isn't so bad. But really, this whole thing, it was the strangest choice the NBA has made

since allowing a team based in Salt Lake City to be called the Jazz. All right, Steve, your last quote is from Entertainment Weekly, and it's commenting on a ban that the Pope started to consider lifting just this week. The hot priest just got a whole lot more accessible. So what ban is the Pope considering lifting? Celibacy, Val? Celibacy, that's exactly right, Steve. As I said,

for a thousand years, only celibate men have been allowed to be priests because Jesus does not want you to have a side piece. Now, the church is considering relaxing its rules as an effort to attract priests to serve in remote areas like the Amazon. So just imagine if you got this invite, ladies. Not only are you having sex with someone who has no idea how to do it, you'll be doing it in the Amazon.

Can I just say a little backstory on this? When I saw the article, Amazon priest shortage, I thought, Amazon is selling priests? I know. It's true. Choki, how did Steve do in our quiz? The bureaucrats always win. They do, man.

What are you going to do about it? Steve, congratulations. Thanks very much. Thanks so much for playing. Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Shannon, researchers have learned to decipher the calls of bats. And it turns out bats spend most of their time doing what? Screaming.

Well, they do scream, but they're screaming for a particular purpose. Oh, just complain? Yes. Complain and argue with each other. That's what bats do, apparently. According to a study from Tel Aviv University, bats spend the majority of their time arguing with each other about food, sleep, and sex.

The researchers also learned that bats vary how they speak. This is all true, depending on the relative status of the bat they're talking to. So it's like, Ralph, I'd prefer it if you gave me a little more room. Versus Marvin, your ass is hanging in my face. How can they know that the bats are complaining? That's just stupid.

Because? You know what it reminds me of? It reminds me of my assistant, Wendell, who always thinks he knows what my dog is thinking. You know, oh, he's so sad when you leave. He wishes he was going with you. Really? He's sleeping on my bedroom floor.

I think he's fine. Let me explain. No, that's absurd. So how did they figure it out? Paula, this is science. The researchers, they recorded millions of bat calls, right? And then they used a computer. Right.

And then they used a computer for what? No. All of a sudden, I had this weird pang of sympathy for your high school teachers. Yeah. I bet right now a bunch of bats know exactly what's happening. I know, I know. So anyway, they used computers to analyze

and sort out the different calls, and then they compared that to video of what the bats were doing. What if bats are passive-aggressive or sarcastic? How would a bat be passive-aggressive? So, because you're saying that they could tell by what they were doing. Yes. What if, for example, one bat brings, I don't know, what do they eat? Do they eat mice or something?

They eat bugs, generally speaking. Okay, so what if one bat brings a bug to another bat and says, go ahead, go ahead, eat it, right? See, now from the scientist's point of view, they would say, oh, well, that's like they're being nice to the other bat. But it wasn't. It was like, go ahead, eat it. Fine, you can have it.

Exactly. Take more from me, why don't you? So do you feel... Right. Now do that sarcastically. Yeah. Coming up, we're going to give you everything you want in our Bluff the Listener game called 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY.

We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. NPR's Code Switch is a podcast about race in America that's about all of us. Our histories, how we're represented, the ways we've worked together and worked against each other. You'll learn, you might get mad, you'll definitely laugh, but don't take my word for it. Just listen to NPR's Code Switch. From NPR and WBZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Chioki Ianson, filling in for Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Mo Rocca, Shannon O'Neill, and Paula Poundstone.

And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Chioki. Right now. It's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Bluff the listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game in the air. Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, Peter. This is Roy calling from Belfast, Maine. Belfast, Maine. I know. What do you do there? I'm an anesthesiologist. You're an anesthesiologist. That's one of those old-time Yankee professions. And how long have you been there, Roy?

About a year. Only a year? Okay. Well, then it'll take a little while before they accept you. Is it difficult to adjust to life in Maine? It's just an amazing little town, and I've enjoyed it very much. Yes, and you enjoy meeting people and then putting them to sleep. Making sure they wake up,

because that's the gratifying part of my job. I understand. Well, Roy, it's great to have you with us. You're going to play the game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. What is the topic, Chioki? You can always get what you want. Yes, in reference to one of Mick Jagger's most famous quotes right after, how the hell is Keith still alive?

This week, we read about a new way to get what you want. Now, our panelists are going to tell you about this amazing technique to make your dreams come true. Pick the one who's telling the truth, and you'll win the weight-waiter of your choice on your voicemail. You ready to play? I'm ready. All right. First, let's hear from Paula Poundstone. Who among us hasn't wished they lived in a castle? The members of the group Believe in Castles aren't like the rest of us idle wishers, though. Let's hear from Paula Poundstone. Who among us hasn't wished they lived in a castle?

The members of the group Believe in Castles aren't like the rest of us idle wishers, though. They take action. Believe in Castles is a group with a common goal to acquire a castle through spiritual and mindful means. Founding member Richard Davin now owns a castle in Denmark. At a recent meeting in the Binghamton New York town hall following a session of prayer filled hand holding in a circle a baker's dozen or so members constructed a large papier-mâché castle in the center of the room. Some are clad in medieval garb. There are two faux kings complete with robes and crowns. Edward Buffington stands out just because he's wearing jeans and a shirt. We're not all the same here. Sure, I want to own a castle, but I don't want to be a king. I'm a software developer. Some of these people

are a little nutty, Buffington explains, scratching some hardening paper mache from his eyebrow. I'm just here because it worked for Richie Davin. Seasoned member Susan Suamu wears a cone-shaped tower roof replica on her head. We focus on telecommunicating to the universe that we desire to own a castle, she explains. There are lots of ways of doing that. For example, I speak with a British accent,

but I'm from Waukegan. The important thing is to just put it out there. I bake castle-shaped cookies, bundt cakes, any food that I prepare with enough substance to hold a castle shape. I bake castle-shaped cookies, bundt cakes, any food that I prepare with enough substance to hold a castle shape. I watched all

eight seasons of the television show Castle. I even listened to Car Castle for years before I realized he was spelled wrong. Castle fans trying to get themselves a castle by imagining castles. Your next story of a new way to get what you want comes from Shannon O'Neill. Some say meditation is a great way to manifest your dreams,

but have you tried screaming? Tanya Kennelly, a cognitive therapist from Worcester, Mass., has discovered that you can get anything you want as long as you scream it. It's called the scream method. Are you up for that big promotion? Instead of showing your boss you have what it takes, just go into their office and scream,

give me the promotion, Pam. Also, fire Carl. He takes K-cops home. Want to be friends with the cool kids at school? Just scream, I'm going to the party in the woods with you. Please note, I have access to my grandma's medicinal marijuana. Preliminary studies show that the scream method is 80% more effective than good old-fashioned hard work and emotional stability.

So next time you want something, just try screaming. You are going to choose this bluff the listener story, Roy, not anyone else's. Screaming at people gets them to do what you want. And your last story of somebody figuring out a way to make their dreams come true comes from Mo Rocca. Rest assured, Facebook is done corrupting our democracy by placing propaganda in front of millions of eyeballs. Now someone is using Facebook to brainwash us one by one. That's the promise of Elliot Scheffler. He's the spokesman for the UK startup called The Spinner.

For as little as $29, The Spinner will individually target a special someone with content to influence the behavior of an unsuspecting recipient. Say you want to get a hard-partying friend to stop drinking, or a nasty co-worker to quit his job, or most popularly, say you want your spouse to initiate sex. The spinner's on top of it, so soon your wife will be. A wife targeted with the initiate sex campaign will be bombarded by articles including nine ways to initiate sex, why sex is so important to your husband, and the importance of sex for a happy marriage.

The spinner is the first business to monetize something called Facebook sniper targeting. And if that doesn't unsettle you, you are too far gone. All right. So here are your choices. They're all about the way to get what you want. From Paula Poundstone, it involves sitting around, envisioning, and even modeling, although the thing that you will get is a castle. From Shannon O'Neill, the way to get what you want is just scream your desire at the person you want it from

and they'll automatically give it to you. Or from Mo Rocca, a service that will create personalized Facebook ads to get the person you want to change to change the way you want them to do it. Which of these is the real story of persuasion in the week's news? I will lean in the direction of the spinner. You're going to go with spinner. That's Mo's story about the service that places those Facebook ads.

Because Mo Rocca rocks. He does. He does. All right, well, to bring you the correct answer, we spoke to one of these people behind this scheme to get you what you want. The spinner is an online service that enables you to influence a specific individual with a specific message.

That was Elliot Scheffler, the COO of The Spinner, which in fact targets ads right at one person to brainwash them. Congratulations Roy, you got it right. You earned a point for Mo Rocca and you've won our prize, the voice of your choice on your voicemail. Thank you so much for playing, Roy. You're welcome, Peter. It was a pleasure. Thank you so much for playing, Roy. You're welcome, Peter. It was a pleasure.

Bye-bye, Roy. Bye, Roy. And now the game where people who've done a lot do a little more. It's called Not My Job. Despite a career that's lasted almost 30 years, Regina King has been very hard to pin down as an actress. She played a fiercely supportive wife in Jerry Maguire. She won an Oscar for playing a mother in If Beale Street Could Talk.

And in The Boondocks, she played two small boys. Now she stars in the HBO superhero series Watchmen and hopefully now she'll be known for what she really is, a badass. Regina King, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. So I'm actually, I got a chance to watch the first episode of Watchmen. They've been very secretive about it and I was, I hope I can give this away, you play a kind of superhero, right? You get to put on a costume and beat the living heck out of people. Yeah, which I get to like release a lot of aggressions at work. After a lifetime of playing a variety of mostly dramatic roles, was this a lot of fun?

Oh my gosh, yes. It was so much fun. I get to do this. I don't have super powers. I have super skills on this show. You're kind of like a Liam Neeson and Taken type of thing. You have certain skills.

I just realized that Regina means queen. You're like super royal. Queen, king. That was no mistake. I said, Regina means queen. So you're like super royal. Yeah. Queen, king. That was no mistake. Really? Yeah.

So your parents, I presume Mr. and Mrs. King, they decided that they would name their daughter Regina to just emphasize that aspect. Yeah. They took it even a step further. My sister, who's four years younger than me, they named her Raina, which also means queen. Right.

Wow. I understand. There you go was that was i mean you've done it but still was it hard to live up to i'll be honest i didn't really know what i was living up to until i started taking spanish and yeah it kind of took me to junior high till i went like oh yeah okay some big stuff here. Yeah, I know. And now I want to talk a little bit about Watchmen because it's weird. Because this is, it's based on a very famous comic book that came out some time ago that's

very, very popular to comic book nerds. And I know, as you know, that comic book nerds are the most relaxed, forgiving people. So have you had like like, any encounters yet? Have you been down to, like, Comic-Con to deal with it yet? I have, and you know what? What? So far, so good. We got a standing O at our screenings.

Really? You know? Well, and do you hope that, like, you can move on this to be like in Marvel movies and just, like, make the superhero thing work? For you as the rest of your career, you know what right now I'm just hoping I just see one or two people this Halloween dressed like me. Oh, that would be awesome What does your character wear? Oh, my God.

It is amazing. Instead of a cape, I have, like, this skirt that flows like a cape. So when I walk, it just billows out. And it's all leather. It's all black. It has a hood. And I spray paint my mask on. Oh, yeah.

I'm better than that. You tag your own face. So we heard that you have a pretty interesting celebrity crush that you've admitted to, at least. Is it Sam Elliott? It is Sam Elliott. Yeah. How did you develop a crush on Sam Elliott? Did any of the ladies out there, did you see Roadhouse?

Or some of the men, did you see Roadhouse? Just something about when he has that rubber band in his mouth and he's pulling his hair back and he's about to whoop some ass. It was just sexy to this little girl. You travel in pretty... Turn on the AC in here. I know. You travel in pretty A-list circles.

Have you run into Mr. Elliot at any time? Oh, my God, and I had to let him know. Did you really? Immediately. Did you just blurt it out? It's like, hi, Sam Elliot and Regina King. I've had a crush on you forever. Something like that.

Really? Who do you think is the hottest person on NPR? Wow. Carrie Gross. There, she's right. No game saying that. What did Sam Elliott say when you told him

that you had had a crush on him? Or have? You know what? I think he blushed. Really? I think he did. You can see that behind the mustache?

I think he did. Well, Regina King, it is an absolute pleasure to talk to you. We've invited you here to play a game that we're calling... I'm not a watchman. I'm a watchman. So you're starring in Watchmen, so we thought we'd ask you about watchmen, specifically the people who collect luxury watches. So we read a wonderful piece by Gary Steingart

in The New Yorker about his obsession with watches, and we're going to ask you three questions about this particular obsession. Get two right, you win our prize. You ready to play? Okay, yeah. All right. Choki, who is Regina King playing for?

Benjamin Bruning of Davis, California. All right, here we go. First question, which are these is a real term for something that collectors look for in a desirable watch. Is it A, emotional complications, B, nimble phalanges, or C, thick, beefy lugs? Oh. Or if you like, which of these things would you want to see

on a Sam Elliott? I was going to say. The thick, beefy lugs. You're going to go for that? That's right. Very good. Thick, beefy lugs. I like thick, beefy lugs.

Lugs are the part of the watch that the wristband attaches to, and you want thick, beefy ones. That's what... Nice. Someone wants thick, beefy ones. Somebody wants thick, beefy ones. Next question.

You've probably seen those watches with the really enormous faces, like the size of tea saucers that were popular just a few years ago. What do watch aficionados call those watches? A, l'horloge d'un jeu levure, or French for hubcap watch. B, penis extenders. Or C, UWOs for unidentified wrist objects. The word penis is fun, so I'm going to go with penis extenders. You're right.

That's what they call them. What? According to Mr. Steingart, the true watch aficionado does not care for those overly large watches and believes they are an expression of male insecurity. I don't see the relationship between the two. Like, you look at someone who's got a big watch

And that tells you what? Well I think it might tell you that they're Making up for something else Really? For a short second hand That gives me chills Alright so you're doing really well here Virginia You have one more.

Luxury watches, unlike, you know, common watches, are made by hand by craftsmen. At one factory in Germany, the watchmakers work under stringent rules, including which of these? A, they're not allowed to drink ever. B, they cannot eat Tic Tacs because they could be confused with Tic Tocs.

Or C, they're not allowed to eat any roughage because it's believed intestinal gas harms the mechanism. Oh. That last one felt fun. But I'm gonna go with A.

You're right again. They're not allowed to drink. It is believed by these German watchmakers that any drinking at all makes the hands shake, and you don't want that in your luxury watchmaker. I would like to buy a watch that's made by a drunk person. Me too. You would?

Me too. It would be an original. It would be. Jokey, how did Regina King do on our show? Regina King is a superhero with an Oscar. She got all three right. That's true. Hey, Regina,

can I ask you a question? This is Paula. I knew it was. I knew it was. I love you, girl. That's so sweet of you. When you were at the Academy Awards,

and obviously you didn't know if you were going to win or not, but they put that camera right beside your head when they're saying the nominees. Did you know, had you already decided on what face you would make if you didn't win? You know what, I did not think that far ahead,

so thank God it didn't go that way. I know. That would be hard to think about. I'm going to ask you one last question, too, before I let you go. Did you do your own stunts for Watchmen when you're a superhero beating people up? It's a perfect combination of me and my stunt double. She's a gymnast.

I am not. Right. I am not. So usually the punching and violence stuff, yeah, that's me. All right. So here's the question. If you had to, could you kick somebody's ass right now?

That would be a yes. Yes! Regina King is starring in Watchmen. It premieres on HBO October 20th. It's coming up soon. Tick-tock. Regina King, thank you so much for joining us. I'm wait, wait, don't tell me. Such a pleasure to talk to you.

Congratulations on everything. We look forward to more things from you. Bye-bye. Thank you, bye. Bye-bye, thanks. In just a minute, we eat a nice stiff drink and our listener limerick challenge call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me

from NPR. I'm Jesse Thorne. Maybe you know David Diggs from Hamilton. He was in the original Kath or from Kim Kimmy Schmidt. Or his movie, Blindspotting. He's also the emcee in Clipping, a rap group that's always pushing boundaries. We are constantly sort of trying a thing out and being like, does this equal a rap song? That's on the next Bullseye from MaximumFun.org and NPR. for MaximumFun.org and NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago,

this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Chioki Ianson filling in for Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Shannon O'Neill, Paula Poundstone, and Mo Rocca. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Chioki.

Thanks, everybody. In just a minute, Joki fixes his heartburn with a big dose of Rhyme-Lasek in our listener limerick challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Paula, CBD oil, you know CBD, it's a product of cannabis that doesn't get you high. Yeah.

It's everywhere. You can get it in your coffee, your kombucha, and now you can buy a what that is infused with CBD? You can buy a wedding cake. No, that's not it. I'll give you a hint. CBD in this case stands for cool boobs, dude. CBD infused breasts? Close.

Nipples? No. Implant. No. Breast milk. That would cause, the baby won't cry anymore. Yeah, that's true. Right?

That would be great. Ever again. No, it's not biological. It's made of textile. It's made of... Wait, what was the hint? It's a bra. It's a CBD-infused...

Peter, I gave her a showman. Your hint was cool... What was your hint, though? My hint was cool boobs, dude. Okay. Honestly. A new company is selling a bra infused with, quote,

microscopic CBD droplets, which is a fancy way of saying they're selling basically a dirty sports bra. I don't need my breasts to relax any more than they already are. Yeah. Get up here, girls. I should say the bra is part of the High Life Collection. Get it?

Oh, lordy. It's the champagne of CBD sports bras. When is there going to be a CBD jockstrap? Well, that's a good question. It was a real missed opportunity to call these things the CBDDs, though. Oh, very good. This is so painfully stupid. I would never use CBD oil, you know, a bra infused with CBD oil on my breasts.

I would just get him a joint. Paula, British Prime Minister Boris Johnson is having his own scandal. A woman he visited in her own apartment many times while Mayor of London says they were just having meetings about government business, and it's totally innocent that that woman has a what in her living room mechanical bull that would be interesting but no she's a what in her living room i i i can you give me a hint

well she she tried to maintain it was just a fire pole she has a pole she was a pole dancer yes she has a stripper pole worse he was a pole dancer? Yes, she has a stripper pole in her living room. Or even worse, he was a pole dancer. Oh. So Jennifer Arcuri is an American former model and exotic dancer who somehow became Boris Johnson's favorite IT consultant back when he was mayor of London. He paid her thousands of dollars in government contracts

and visited her apartment numerous times where she keeps a stripper pole in the living room as a, quote, conversation starter. You know, conversations that start with no touching. So he was just bringing his hard drive over there. Exactly, yes. Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme.

If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Or click the Contact Us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows right here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago and our upcoming 1,000th show on October 24th in Salt Lake City and our 1,001st show October 25th in Salt Lake City. Also, if you want more Wait, Wait in Your Week,

check out the Wait, Wait quiz for your smart speaker. It's out every Wednesday with me and Bill asking you questions in the comfort of your home without all the awkwardness of getting us to leave. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi. Who's this? This is Casey Swallow from West Newbury, Massachusetts. Oh, welcome.

Well, what do you do there? I'm a retired college professor. Oh, really? And what did you teach when you taught college? Chemistry. Chemistry. Oh, okay. And do you manufacture meth now?

No, I was the wrong kind of chemist. I was an analytical chemist. Oh, darn it. Casey, welcome to the show. Chayoki Ianson is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly, two of the limericks will be a winner.

You ready to play? Yes. All right. Here two of the limericks will be a winner. You ready to play? Yes. All right. Here is your first limerick. This open bar concept has power. Who knows how much booze I'll devour? The bartenders metered for time, not for liters. They charge for their drinks by the...

Hour. Yes, an hour. A new bar in St. Louis has a new policy that lets you pay for drinks by the... Hour. Yes, an hour. A new bar in St. Louis has a new policy that lets you pay for drinks by the hour. It's the perfect way to make sure happy hour

turns into vomit evening. The bar is called Open Concept. It works like this. You pay a set price and as long as you only order one drink at a time, you can drink as much as you would like in one hour.

If you can keep going for a second hour, you're doing it wrong. You know, I always want, I know this is a little off-topic, but I think it would be neat to open a gay bar in Iran and call it Gaya-tolas. That would be great. How is that off topic? Casey, here is your next limit. Glenn Livet makes Tide Pods less risky. Their fillings less toxic, more frisky. They won't clean your clothes, but they've got a strong nose.

Those pods that are filled up with... Whiskey? Whiskey, yes. If you've ever wanted to eat a Tide Pod but wished it tasted worse, congratulations. It's actually a Tide Pod and has whiskey. Uncle Mo is explaining it to me. Apparently, yes. I shall.

You know you're wearing a microphone, Mo, so... Almost did that. Anyway... Been nipping at the pods. If you've ever wanted to eat a Tide Pod but wished it tasted worse, you're in luck. The Glenlivet Distillery is making whiskey pods, and while they won't necessarily kill you,

they make the friends you serve them to want to kill you. The pods cut out that inconvenient glass part in the middle of your drinking. It delivers delicious whiskey straight to your mouth in a translucent wrap made from seaweed extract. Finally, a way to get your kids to stop eating detergent, let them eat whiskey. But the crazy thing is, in all seriousness,

and I think they did it as a stunt, obviously, because it went viral and all that business, but you wouldn't taste it really then. Well, I think the idea is you sort of pop it in your mouth, and then you sort of squeeze it, and it pops open, and it floods your mouth with single malt whiskey, which, and I like single malt whiskey, would be terrible. You wouldn't want all of a sudden a lot of it in your mouth. God, I like single malt whiskey, would be terrible. At all, yeah. You wouldn't want to, like,

all of a sudden, a lot of it in your mouth. God, I would love a pina colada pod. Oh, there you go. All right, Casey, here's your last limerick. I can't handle the moods of a cat, and a dog is too big for my flat,

so I'm a proponent of long-tailed gray rodents. For a pet, I am getting a... Rat. Yes, that's right, a rat. According to a study in the Washington Post, probably sponsored by an association of cheap landlords, rats are now considered to be the best pets after dogs because they have, quote,

cuddly personalities. They giggle when tickled and they grind their teeth with pleasure when stroked, just like they grind the bones of the dead. While you might think rats are clean little fellas, domesticated rats can spread several diseases like leptospirosis and a disease that makes you think owning a rat is a good idea. Still, some owners have taught their rats to fetch a ball, to jump through hoops, and to chase away dates. Paula, you've had more pets than any other person I've ever met. Did you ever have a rat? Never have had a rat. Never would have a rat. Really? No, I've got no rat interest at all. No. And I have plenty a rat. Never would have a rat. Really? No, I got no rat interest at all.

No. And I have plenty of rats. We're always having rat trouble at my house, which is weird because I have 13 cats. Well, do cats eat rats? I'm not sure they do eat rats. Yeah, they like mice. I think they like mice. Well, they do that, but rats are just very large mice.

You can barely tell them apart. My cats have to say to them, slow down! Just to tell what they are. That is really narrow-minded to say that mice and rats just look the same. Well, they're similar. Mice are very small. Mice are smaller. Rats are almost as smart as us. Rats are almost as smart as us?

They are very intelligent. Well, do you have experience with rats? I have three. Just kidding. I've just read a lot of books about rats. They're not that smart. They are very smart. I will challenge you right now, Paula. Stand up, woman.

They can collapse their bones and go into small spaces. Oh, that's smart. Shannon. That sounds amazing. Now we're in a small space, genius. Chioki, how did Casey do on our little quiz? With all three right, Casey is a winner. Congratulations, Casey.

Fantastic. Now on to the final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Choki, can you give us the scores? Shannon and Mo each have three. Paula has two. It's rigged. It's rigged.

Okay, okay, Paula, you're up first. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, the president of Turkey announced military actions against the Kurdish militia in blank. Serbia. Right, yes. A Quinnipiac poll released on Tuesday found that blank continues to lead Joe Biden in the race for the Democratic nomination.

Elizabeth Warren. Right. Shopping malls and railway lines announced early closures as more pro-democracy protests were announced in Blank. Hong Kong. Right. In order to reduce the threat of wildfires, PG&E cut power to over 800,000 customers in Blank.

California. Right. This week, Fox News broadcast a tweet attacking Hillary Clinton from a Twitter user named Blank. I hope it wasn't Bill Clinton. No, it was... It was Hugh Janus. According to a new study from UC Berkeley,

the richest Americans pay a lower blank rate than the middle class. Tax. Right. Despite the controversy surrounding it, Blank broke the record for biggest opening weekend in October. Ooh, Joker.

Yes, Joker. The universe will have two chances to get rid of Gene Simmons next month when Kiss performs in Blank. Two chances to get rid of Gene Simmons. I don't get it. No. Kiss will perform

underwater to an audience of great white sharks. Kiss, who are white white but are not great, will be performing underwater in Australia. There will be eight spots for fans to watch from a submarine, so it probably won't sell out. The sharks, which are, of course, bloodthirsty beasts that will catch and kill anything,

are expected to lose their appetite. Jokey, how did Paula do on our quiz? Paula got six right for 12 more points. She now has 14 points and a lead. All right. All right, we have flipped a coin, and Shannon has elected to go next. Shannon, fill in the blank. On Monday, the Supreme Court heard oral arguments

in a case that could affect blank discrimination in the workplace. LGBTQIA. Yes. Warning that it may soon run out of money to pay its staff, the blank asked member nations to make contributions. We work. No. Good guess, though.

The UN on Thursday, former National Security Advisor Blank announced he was writing a book about the Trump White House. Oh, a white guy. Yes, very good. John Bolton, specifically, in response to an increased number of lung illnesses, online retailer Alibaba announced it would no longer sell blanks in the U.S. Vapes. Right. This week, a government agency in Canada refused to reveal

details for an event where they will blank. Be naked. No, where they will be given an award for transparency. On Friday, Netflix released El Camino, a movie spin-off of the critically acclaimed series Blank. Breaking Bad. Yes. This week, the Nobel Prize winner in physics said he expected humanity to discover blank

within 30 years. Love. Alien life. After a man in Tokyo got his bike seat stolen, he dealt with it by blanking. Riding it without one. No. He dealt with it by going out

and stealing 159 other bike seats. You know what they say, revenge is a dish best served with a very sore butt, which is why the man started to stalk the streets of Tokyo looking for vengeance, though he was stalking kind of funny. He was able to steal 159 bike seats before being caught. Police say they were thrilled to make the arrest. It means they could call off the search for the giant 159-butted monster they were after. Jokey, how didannon do in our quiz shannon got three right for six more points she has a total of nine but paula still has the lead wow so how many then does mo need to win mo needs six to win

all right here we go mo this is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, a bipartisan panel of senators warned of blank's continued efforts to interfere in U.S. elections. Russia. Yes. On Monday, a judge rejected President Trump's attempts to keep his blanks private. Taxes. Right. According to a new poll, a majority of Americans now support blank. Impeachment.

Yes. On Tuesday, Democratic presidential candidate blank announced he would scale back his campaign schedule after his heart attack. Bernie Sanders. Thursday, Peter Hanke and Olga Tokarczuk won the blank prize for literature. Nobel. Right. At the World Gymnastics Championships on Tuesday,

gymnast blank won her 21st medal. Simone Biles. Right. A San Jose man who had his duffel bag stolen believes that the thieves did not know it had blank inside just a lot of

overdue library books. No. Four giant pythons. Nice. The victim of the theft was a reptile breeder who had just gotten done giving a presentation

at a local library when a gang of thieves made off with his bag containing four giant pythons. Desperate, the man posted a video on YouTube pleading for the animal's safe return and was relieved when the snakes responded, We're doing great! In fact, we just had the best meal of our lives! Chokey, did Mo do well enough to win?

Oh yes, Mo got six right for 12 more points, total of 15, so Mo is this week's winner. Congratulations, Moe. In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict, now that the celibacy requirement might be lifted on the priesthood, what will be the next new rule the Pope might make. Special thanks to Stock and Ledger Restaurant here in Chicago for feeding us. Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions,

Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Godica writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Thank you. Our writing residents this week are Millie Tamarez and Hannah Walonsky. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our business and ops manager is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer, that's Ian Chilog. And the executive producer, wait, wait, don't tell me, is Michael Danforth. Now, panel, what will be the Pope's next new rule? Paula Poundstone. The wine for the sacrament can be served in a pod.

Shannon O'Neill. He said that Ellen and Roy Moore can attend a WNBA game together. And Mo Rocca. The Pope will allow nuns to fly again. And if any of that happens, panel, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Us. Thank you, Chayokia Anson.

Thanks also to Paul Brownstone, Moe Rockwell, and Shannon O'Neill. Thanks to all of you for listening. I'm Peter Sagal. We'll see you next week. This is NPR.