Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - Ronan Farrow

Episode Date: January 11, 2020

Journalist Ronan Farrow joins us along with panelists Adam Burke, Roxanne Roberts and Luke Burbank.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Hey, Mr. Rogers, come over to the land of Make Bill E. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. Thank you so much. It's great to be back with you. We're all starting a whole new year, and based on what's happened just so far, I think it's going to be a great year. It had better be, because based on those same things, it might be the last one we get. Later on, we're going to

be talking to Ronan Farrow, whose investigations into serial predators won him a Pulitzer Prize. I should stress, we called him. And now it's your turn to give us a call. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, Peter. This is Hannah Stein calling from Cleveland, Ohio. Hey, how are things in Cleveland, Hannah? They are kind of weirdly cold and then warm and then cold and then warm and blustery.

And we're not even sure if it's winter anymore. It's all very confusing. We feel the same in Chicago. We expect to be miserable for a solid three months. And it's just, it's almost disappointing when you're not. It's a Midwestern thing. Well, welcome to the show, Hannah. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, it's a comedian you can see January 21st at Zany Chicago, and February 27th at White Rabbit Cabaret in Indianapolis. That's Adam Burke. Hello, Adam.

How are you? Next, it's a features writer for the style section of the Washington Post, Ms. Roxanne Roberts. Hello, Adam. And the host of the confessional daily podcast TBTL and the public radio variety show Livewire, which will be at the Alberta Rose Theater in Portland on January 30th. It's Luke Burbank.

Hey, Hannah. They're not booing. They're saying you are going to do great on this. That's what they're saying. Hannah, welcome to the show. You're going to play, of course, Who's Bill this time. Bill Curtis, for the first time this year, is going to read you three quotations from the week's news.

If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you'll win our prize. Any voice from our show you might want for your voicemail. Are you ready to play? I am ready. Let's do it then. Here is your first quote. It was a historic compliment. That was somebody celebrating his attack on Iran, perhaps in pig Latin. We don't know. I'll be polite and say President Trump.

That's very polite. Thank you. Trump has finally succeeded in uniting the fractious Middle East, despite their differences, Iran, Iraq, Syria, Israel, they all have absolutely no idea what he is doing. There have been different stories that have come out about how President Trump was convinced to launch this attack on Irani General Soleimani.

On Irani General Soleimani. I can't say it. Irani General Soleimani. Are you a General Soleimani. I can't say it. Irani General Soleimani. Are you a speechwriter for Trump? Yeah, apparently. You think that's it, Adam? They just write it

into his teleprompter? It's not him this whole time? Anyway, there are various stories as to how he came to this decision. One was that

Pentagon generals presented him with a bunch of options with firing missiles at this guy as the one they included as the crazy one that he, of course, wouldn't pick so as to make him pick one of the others. No, guys, you do not show President Trump a crazy option with the expectation that he won't choose it. Trump will go with the nuclear option, even if it is a nuclear option. And then the president, very happy with what he had done, set up this photo op to announce how happy he was. And he had all these guys, did you see this? He had all these guys in uniform standing behind him as props. They didn't say anything. They didn't move. They didn't blink. It was weird.

Even more suspicious were their titles, General Electric, General Motors, and General Hospital. Major Appliance was there, too. I know, that's really great. So where do we start? Do we start with the letter that wasn't really supposed to go out?

Oh, yes, that is amazing. Again, there was so much that happened this week. So after the attack in Iraq, the Iraqi parliament voted to expel the U.S. from Iraq. They were so upset. And the next day, they got a letter, Iraq from the U.S. Army, saying, okay, we shall leave. Oh, my God, we're leaving Iraq? That's it? They just had to ask us and we'd go? And then

the Army explained, oh no, no, no, no, that was a draft letter we sent by mistake. Twice. Twice. They sent it twice by mistake? Twice by mistake, yes. I'm telling you, reply all has ruined more careers. I know. They should, depending on that, should not even be an option.

Hannah, your next quote is about an absolute earthquake in the UK. First time I've ever seen someone

quit their family saying it's to spend more time with their jobs. That was a tweet from a man named Eric Nelson. Who are quitting

their prominent jobs in the UK? Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. You're exactly right. Meghan and Harry, also known as the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. She and her husband, that is Meghan and Harry, the former Prince Harry, announced they were quitting the royal family, leading Prince Charles to whisper, you can do that?

They announced on Instagram, of course, that they will, quote, step back as senior members of the royal family and work to become financially independent, unquote. That is the sort of thing only people who already have an infinite supply of money might say. That being said, you want to talk about a Brexit? Yeah.

This is the ultimate heist film. She stole a prince. She didn't. She's out of there. As a matter of fact, I mean, this is amazing. By the way, that sounds like an awful Hallmark Christmas movie. The Prince I Stole. Starring Lori Loughlin when she gets out of jail.

Aren't they going to move to Canada? Yeah, there is some rumor that they're going to move to Canada. Why would you go to the one country where your mother-in-law is still on the money? Damn it, we can't get away from her. Anywhere else we should have gone. Is it possible they hated visiting orphans? Yeah.

I think. Because that appears to be the main job of being a royal, right? Yeah. Harry is probably so psyched to get out of this situation, don't you think? Oh, absolutely. But I think that there's a bunch of people going, yay for them. And then there's sort of a big backlash. They're already out of

Madame Tussauds? Yes. First thing, they took their wax figures. We don't know what happened to them. We assume they just put wicks in them and sold them big souvenir candles. Hasn't the punishment for royals really dropped? Didn't we used to behead these bastards?

That's the worst that happens. You get taken out of Manitou. The hairy candle smells like dusty cedar. Very nice. Alright, Hannah, your last quote comes to us from the Consumer Electronics Show in Vegas. That's that big annual

tech showcase that's happening right now. Imagine yourself there. You have run out of toilet tissue. And nobody hears your call. So that was a Procter & Gamble person at the CES announcing his company's amazing invention that will solve that problem with what? I'm going to say delivery drones.

Close enough. A robot. It is a robot designed to bring you toilet paper now this of course is the Consumer Electronics Show where they try to show us all the stuff that we're going to need even though believe me none of us need any more stuff so they keep coming up with these ideas here's the toilet paper retrieving robot it's from Char. The idea is you're sitting there. You realize you have no toilet paper.

And instead of hopping through the house with your pants around your knees, you press a button on your phone and a robot brings you some toilet paper. This is good because the other way a robot could solve the problem of no toilet paper is with a laser. That could solve a couple problems for me. Is the toilet paper coming out from the top? I believe it just sort of rolls in Opens up and there's a roll for you Although I don't know how it gets in your car

And goes to the store and buys more Is this like a full Arnold Schwarzenegger Terminator That kicks the door in? Yes Come with me if you want to wait Not as scary I think kicks the door in. Yes. Come with me if you want to wait. This is... Not as scary, I think. This is, I think,

a threat to our very way of life because most people are in relationships that they've lost interest in years ago because you need someone to bring you toilet paper.

Exactly. If you get stuck in there. Oh, by the way, it wasn't all tech. Impossible Foods displayed their newest invention, Impossible Pork. Finally, something wasn't all tech. Impossible Foods displayed their newest invention, Impossible Pork.

Finally, something impossible Jews can eat. Bill, how did Hannah do on our quiz? Hannah did great. Listening and playing. Congratulations, Hannah. Well done. Thank you so much. Take care.

Bye-bye. Right now, panel, it is, of course, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Luke, according to the Wall Street Journal, more and more young people are making sitting down with their parents for a home-cooked meal even better. By doing what? Skipping it? No. Teenagers gotta eat. Oh, these are teenagers.

Okay. By, are they, is this having to do with helping with the preparation in some way? I said they're teenagers, Luke. So that's a no. Yeah.

It's a negatory on that, ghostwriter. Can I get a hint? Yeah, you know, hey, kids, did you invite a friend over for dinner and why is he wearing a DoorDash uniform? Yeah, you know, hey, kids, did you invite a friend over for dinner?

And why is he wearing a DoorDash uniform? Oh, by just ordering food to the house through an app? That's exactly right. Services like Grubhub and DoorDash are making it easier than ever for your kids to avoid your terrible cooking. So here's how it works. And the Wall Street Journal found a couple of cases of which this actually happened. Parent spends a couple hours making a home cooked meal for the family. And once everybody sits down, the DoorDash guy

shows up with Taco Bell that your kid ordered when you weren't watching. What, really? Is your grandma's Doritos Tacos Locos recipe not good enough? Don't you really wish that Norman Rockwell was painting now? Just so that freedom of want picture is... It's like there's no one carving anything.

They're just answering the door. I know. There's a little kid, and in his back pocket, instead of a slingshot, it's a smartphone. He's getting in trouble for ordering Taco Bell. It's one thing when you've cooked a nice meal and your kid orders takeout, and it's even worse when he's like,

Mom, I'm short. Can you tip the guy? I do like that in years to come. People are like, Oh, just like my mom used to order. Coming up, we're giving our panelists homework. It's our Bluff the Listener game called 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute

with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Luke Burbank, Adam Burke, and Roxanne Roberts. Then here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thanks so much. Right now...

Thanks, everybody. Right now, it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff, the listener game. You can call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play any of our games on the air. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Luke. How are you today? Hey, Luke, how are you? Luke.

I've been waiting a lifetime for that to happen. Luke, where are you calling from? I'm calling from Portland, Maine. Oh, how are things in Portland? Oh, it's freezing right now. Oh, yeah. What do you do there? I am a consultant for a software company.

Okay. I didn't know they had that in Portland. I thought it was all lobstering. It's software for lobst company. Okay. I didn't know they had that in Portland. I thought it was all lobstering. It's software for lobstering. Right. I'm just imagining a lobster with a smartphone. Doing Googling, it's like, they do what to us?

Well, Luke, welcome to the show. You're going to play the game in which you must write a tell-tale truth from fiction. Bill, what is Luke's topic? The dog ate my homework. As long as there has been homework, there have been excuses for not handing it in. The paleontological record shows a T-Rex once claimed his arms were too short

to fill out the sheets. This week, we heard an excuse we had never, though, heard before. It was a pretty good one. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the truthful one. You'll win our prize, the weight-waiter of your choice in your voicemail.

You ready to play? Ready to play. All right. First, let's hear from Adam Burke. Graduate student Gideon Walsh was at the end of his tether. He was on his third MacBook in as many weeks, and his term paper was already seriously overdue. I'm not normally a forgetful person, so the fact that I managed to lose two laptops in so short a span of time is driving me crazy, Walsh explained.

Walsh, who was studying for an MS in primate behavior at Central Washington University, had been hard at work at the Institute's ape enclosure writing a paper on Mimi, a three-year-old orangutan, specifically on her problem-solving abilities. I had backed up a lot of my notes, but I still had to rewrite it from scratch. I was kind of getting desperate, said Walsh. It was then that a classmate of his who had been reviewing CCTV footage for a paper on the animals' sleep cycles

solved the mystery. Mimi had figured out how to use a backscratcher we'd given her to reach the key for the door to her pen, explains Walsh. She'd get out at night and take various objects from the lab and hide them under her sleeping pad, including my laptop. While Walsh was able to retrieve his missing laptops,

he realized he'd have to completely rewrite his paper to focus on Mimi's clandestine escapology and kleptomania. The long and the short of it is the ape is better at figuring out problems than I am, bemoaned Walsh, who took some small solace in the fact that he got an A- on the paper. The paper on the intelligence of orangutans is stolen by an intelligent orangutan.

Your next likely story comes from Roxanne Roberts. When two 16-year-olds didn't come home Sunday from a snowboarding outing, everyone feared the worst. But the two boys survived a night in British Columbia during a snowstorm, no less, by burning their homework to stay warm. Jim Kyle, head of the Canadian search and rescue team that found them, told the CBC the boys, quote, did all the right things, including building a shelter and starting a fire. Quote, one young person had homework in his

backpack and that definitely helped keep the fire going, he said. The boys were rescued Monday morning in good health. No word if their teachers reassigned the homework or just gave them a B for burnt. Two kids caught in the mountains burned their homework to survive. Your last story of missing homework comes from Luke Burbank. Last week during an NPR Tiny Desk concert, Calvin Cordoza Broadus Jr., better known as Snoop Dogg,

occasional rapper and full-time marijuana enthusiast, was chatting with host Bob Boylan when he recounted one of those parenting moments that we can all not identify with. It involved having to call his son Cordell's high school back in 2017 to explain why the last page of his biology final was missing. explain why the last page of his biology final was missing. Why? Because Snoop had mistakenly used it to roll an enormous and nearly relationship-destroying doobie. Yes, you heard this right, America. The dog smoked his kid's homework. I was in the studio with Warren G., Michael McDonald, the regulators were all there. They were ready to mount up. Snoop casually told a shocked Boylan. So this joint needed to be huge to make it all the way around the room, and there was this stack of papers on a little table in the hallway.

I just grabbed one of them, not realizing the other side of the paper was a bunch of writing about nucleotides that are found in RNA but not DNA. Thankfully for everyone, the school was understanding, as this was not the first time this had happened to Snoop Dogg. Cordell was permitted to frantically rewrite the final page. He passed the class. He's now a freshman at UCLA. To thank the high school for being so chill about things, Snoop donated $200,000 to the science program.

Specifically, he asked for the students to research that sticky-icky-icky. The school politely explained they weren't allowed to do that for legal reasons, but they did name the science lab the Snoop D-O-double-G Center for Biology in his honor, which pleased Snoop greatly, and so he let them keep the donation. Here are your choices. One of these things happened to a student's homework. Was it from Adam Burke, a college student trying to work on the intelligence of orangutans got sabotaged by the orangutan? From Roxanne, two kids caught in the mountains

on a ski trip survived by burning their homework? Or from Luke Burbank, Snoop Dogg's kid finds out what happens when his father needs some rolling paper. Which of these is the real story about a good excuse for not handing in your work? What is the snowboarders burning their homework? You have mistaken our show for another. Good day to you, sir.

So you chose Roxanne's story, am I right? That's correct. All right. To bring you the correct answer, we did, in fact, speak to someone familiar with the real story. The subjects put themselves into the backcountry where they weren't prepared to be, but they had homework to create a fire

to keep themselves warm and dry. That was Sandra Rich's executive director for the Adventure Smart Program in British Columbia. Congratulations, Luke. You got it right. Thank you. You earned a point for Roxanne. Not you, Luke. You earned a point for Roxanne, who always appreciates that.

And you have won our prize, the voice of your choice in your voicemail. Congratulations. Thank you very much. of your choice in your voicemail. Congratulations! Thank you very much. And now the game where people who do important things answer questions about trivial things. It's called Not My

Job. Ronan Farrow was working as an investigative reporter at NBC News when he told his bosses that he had this blockbuster story about the crimes of Harvey Weinstein. They said it wasn't good enough to publish, so he went to The New Yorker and won a Pulitzer Prize. And after that, the only thing left to do, of course,

was start a podcast. Catch and kill to go with his book of the same name. He joins us now. Ronan Farrow, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Such a pleasure to be here. Thank you, guys. So I don't know whether one should say this to someone whose book has led to criminal charges

against a monster, but congratulations? Yeah, it's always a little weird. People say congratulations with this kind of sour face, like, eh, maybe it's a little sad. Yeah. But I'll take it. We're looking into your life. We knew some things.

Obviously, you've been in the public eye for a while. One thing we did not know was that you went to college at the age of 11. I did. I mean, I think I did. I don't really remember anymore. Yeah, well, you were young. And you're what, 12 now? I know.

Yeah, if you went to college at 11, when did you go to grade school? Three? I started kindergarten prenatally. This is the problem with going to college at 11, when did you go to grade school? Three? I started kindergarten prenatally. This is the problem with going to college at 11. I really don't remember a thing. Also, I was quite drunk at the time, obviously. Obviously. Wow. I imagine the fraternity rush was very exciting.

There are so many questions about that. What did the actual college-age kids think when you showed up as a pre-adolescent? You know, they were pretty great about it. I think they found it hilarious. So one thing my mom did was she really leaned into the kind of awkward child prodigy thing by giving me a bowl haircut.

Oh, yeah, that'll help. Big Coke bottle round glasses. So you can imagine what people thought. And so you were, I mean, I find this surprising because you're a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist. You seem fine to me, but is that how you still consider yourself? Have you never met

a journalist? We're all awkward. You make a good point. I was awkward then and I'm awkward now and I'm not going to apologize for it. All right. You're among friends with these public radio listeners. Having achieved remarkable things in your chosen field of journalism,

you have decided to join us clowns and started to do a podcast. This is the podcast that goes with your book. It's the same title, Catch and Kill. But it's not just the substance of the book. It's how you came to report the book. Think of it as mini true crime documents.

Hang on. Did we lose you? Did we lose you? Is Harvey Weinstein there, Ronan? We're checking. Ronan, are you back? Guys, did you miss me? We did.

We were worried. We thought maybe Weinstein finally got to you. In the podcast, you talk about how these Eastern European thugs were hired to track you. Are you in fact, and of course we all know Mr. Weinstein does not take these things lightly, have you in fact been worried about your, you know, I don't know, your safety? The book is basically a long saga of me getting increasingly paranoid and then getting much more paranoid still when I realize this is actually happening. There's an international espionage plot and I'm able to get the contract and prove it and stuff.

But yeah, there's kind of a few Russian guys who are a little bit bumbling. They have sort of Boris and Natasha accents, and they hang out outside my apartment. One time they followed the wrong guy for two days. They're not great at the job. Really? Yeah. He looked a little like me. One of the things that your book has been noted for, well, let me just put it this way.

You and I seem to have something in common, which is that we both are not as good at foreign accents as we like to think we are. Yes, I should add, read the book, listen to the podcast, and then accept my apologies for my attempts at a Ukrainian accent. No, it's amazing. There are compilations online of Ronan Farrow's accents. You can get his Ukrainian accent, his Italian

accent, his Kiwi, which may be your best. The book has a lot of overlapping dialogue, and they're all characters with accents. So, the sources very graciously worked with me and did, like, voice memos of their dialogue a lot of the time, but they were also all very tolerant

of my lack of dialect. You actually practiced? You know what? I'm just going to breeze past that play. You should know. I don't know how carefully you listen to this play, but nobody is worse at foreign accents than I am.

Whatever I'm doing, French, Russian, Chinese, they all sound like old Jews. I got one. But it's weird when I'm doing like Queen Elizabeth and I'm like, I don't know what I want. They're leaving? Doesn't work out. Queen Elizabeth played by Larry David. Exactly. They all sound like

Larry David. You, now, of course you have a podcast. I don't know if people know this, but your fiancé, John Lovett, is also sort of a king of podcasting. He has two incredibly popular podcasts, Pod Save America. I like to say a podcast despot. Really? I say. You know, I tell him things like the Catch and Kill podcast, number two on the charts, and he sort of stares at me blankly and says, well, the other charts matter more. Really? Is it causing tension around the house?

He would not contest to this, but, you know, I think he wants to keep the crown. There's no risk of me challenging the John Levin crowd. I mean, cool college kids come up to him and say that they love the pod. I pick up the phone and say it's Ronan Farrow and everyone hangs up. I just love this rivalry with your fiancé.

I'm just imagining him giving you tips on podcasting, like, do more accents, Ronan. Well, Ronan Farrow, it is a pleasure to talk to you, but we have, in fact, invited you here to play a game we're calling... You're the king of all Egypt. Your name, as you may have heard, is Ronan Farrow. Strikes terror into the hearts of everyone. But what do you know about the pharaohs, that is, the rulers of ancient Egypt?

Yeah, absolutely. Well, it was either going to be about this or the grain. So answer two out of three questions about pharaohs. You will win our prize for one of our listeners, the voice of anyone they may choose in their voicemail. Bill, who is Ronan Farrow playing for? Tim Glotch of Stony Brook, New York. All right. So here are your first of three questions about pharaohs. The war-hungry pharaoh Sesostris was not simply content with conquering all of his neighbors. If he felt they had not put up enough of a fight, he would also do what? A, send some of his soldiers over to the other side

and tell them to try again. B, construct a giant statue of a vagina in the defeated nation's capital city. Or C, rename the conquered city after a very cute animal, like the equivalent of Puppyville. Kittenopolis. I'm going to go with the vagina statue. You're exactly right.

That's right. He would do this. The implication was that the soldiers of his conquered enemy were not particularly manly. All right. Next question. Personally, I love a vagina statue and would take it as a high compliment.

There you are. You know what you get for the wedding. Yeah, everyone, please see my Amazon wish list. All right, next question. They didn't have modern plumbing or anything like that in ancient Egypt, so flies were a problem. One pharaoh, Pepi II,

came up with a brilliant solution to the flies swarming around. What was it? A, he covered his servants in honey so the flies would be attracted to them instead. B, he trained a company of archers with tiny, tiny, tiny bows. Or C, he commanded his dancers

to dance in such a way as to mesmerize and attract the insects, creating the first ever fly girls. I'm going to go with the honey. You're going to go with the honey. And again, you're right, Ronan. That's true. I'm sweating bullets here, guys.

You are. History has not recorded what the servants thought of this, but that's what he presumably did. All right. Last question. After ruling, if he was so lucky as to do so, for 30 years, a pharaoh had to prove he was still capable of holding the throne by doing what? A, letting other people talk for 30 whole minutes without interrupting them. B, complete a 20-mile chariot trip without having to stop to use a restroom. Or C, put on an animal tail and run a fast lap around a courtyard

in front of official witnesses. Hmm. I'm going to go for the fast lap. You're right again, Ronan. That's what he did. This is a ceremony that apparently persisted for centuries, and if the pharaoh was able to do it and kept the throne, he had to do it every three years after that. Bill, how did Ronan Farrow do in our quiz?

Ronan is now among the elite in this game. You got them all three right. Congratulations. Congratulations. Ronan Farrow is a Pulitzer elite in this game. You got them all three right. Congratulations. Congratulations. Ronan Farrow is a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist. He is the creator of the Catch and Kill podcast. You can download it now. It goes very well with his book of the same title. Ronan Farrow, thank you so much for joining us

on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Utter delight to talk to you. Thank you for having me, guys. Thank you, Ronan. Take care. In just a minute, Bill gives us a tour of his new Hair of the Dog exhibit in the Listener Limerick Challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Roxanne Roberts, Adam Burke, and Luke Burbank. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. In just a minute, Bill puts on his CGI fur and appears as Rhyme Zabella, the limerick cat. It's the listener limerick challenge.

If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. But right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Adam, there's been a lot of negative reviews of the new Cats movie. Can't imagine why. Some viewers, though, have found a way to enjoy it by doing what before they go see it? You'll never get this one. Yeah. Stabbing out their eyes and ripping off their ears.

No, I know this. I didn't quite do this. I did get drunk when I went to see it, but everyone's getting high, aren't they? Everyone is getting high, at least a significant number of people, according to the Washington Post, which did a deep dive into this.

People are getting stoned out of their minds and then going to see cats. I see some of the audience is way ahead of us on this. So Cats, of course, is a movie where these weird human-cat hybrids sing their own names at us for two hours. And speaking to the Washington Post, stoned audience members gave it great reviews.

They ranged from, quote, the most incredible cinematic experience of my life to, quote, vomited four times. May not be rave reviews of cats. They are rave reviews of drugs, though. When I went to see it, a woman behind us, four rows behind us, yelled out, I don't like their feet. Which is a brilliant review. Yeah, that really... If you haven't seen it, there's a bit in it, my favorite bit, the reason to go and see it,

is at one point, Ian McKellen just shows up. He just goes, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. And you can tell there's no way that was in the script. He's Ian McKellen and people are like, well, I'm not going to argue with Magneto Cat. Yeah. All right. So I haven't seen this. Do you think it's going to be one of those things where like Midnight on Friday nights?

Yes. Kind of a cult classic. Oh, I think it's already that. People are going to find out it lines up with Dark Side of the Moon or something. It's amazing. It lines up with the original of the Moon or something. It's amazing it lines up with the original Broadway cast album of cats. The drugs, for some people, the drugs saved the film.

For others, it made it worse. One viewer who said, quote, when Judy Dench turned and looked me directly in the eye to let me know that a cat is not a dog, I was terrified. Luke, the BBC is dedicated to serving lifelong learners and as such is providing a service for people who want to learn to draw. So the BBC will be broadcasting two straight hours of what?

Is it like a still life of something? Oh, not still life. No, not a bowl of fruit. It's definitely something to draw, but it's not that. So this is something that will be projected to the nation and people will be drawing it. Yes. It's giving them something to draw. Can I get a hint as to what it might be? It's sort of like, well, it's sort of the Bob Ross show,

but after dark. Oh, is it naked models? Yes. Nude figure models will be broadcast in the BBC It's called... Did they not have Cinemax there? Can I ask, is this Prince Harry's new job? It's called Life Drawing Live

Or for short, Really Dull Porn The BBC says the two-hour slowpans of naked people will be used by art students to draw from. Bless the BBC's heart. I want specifics here. Are these going to be artfully draped? No. Are they going to be at an angle?

No. This is the real thing. If you've ever been to a figure drawing class, and I have, it's naked people. But, but... Yes, that too. No. Yeah, also that. Some of them will be playing volleyball.

No, can they do that? Is that a nude cam? Can they do that on the BBC? Apparently they can. Also, it's English models, so the footage will be uncut. Oh. I say footage. It's more like half a footage.

Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Or click the Contact Us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows right here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago. And if you want more Wait, Wait in Your Week, check out the Wait, Wait quiz for your smart speaker. It's out every Wednesday with me and Bill asking you questions all in the comfort of your home or wherever you have your smart speaker.

It's just like this radio show, only now we can hear you. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Lauren Deneuve from Washington, D.C. Hey, Lauren, how are you? I'm great, thanks. And how are things in Washington? It's been a quiet week in Lake Washington. Well, welcome to the show, Lauren.

Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in just two of the limericks, you'll be a big winner. Ready to play? I am. Here is your first limerick. Armored tanks aren't known to be plush,

but for this one, all soldiers will gush. While bombs are incoming, we use indoor plumbing. Our tanks now have toilets that flush. Exactly right. Just in time for World War III, the Russian military has unveiled

the world's first combat tank with a real flushing toilet on board, making us all wonder why on earth we don't have those in minivans. The new tanks cost four million dollars or five million if you also want a bidet. Can I add something that's not funny that's just kind of a weird full circle fact? Please. The reason tanks are called tanks is when the British military was making them, it was so top secret that they said that they were working on a septic tank when they were actually

building like a tank. So it is come full circle in a weird way. So tanks have tanks. Exactly. Finally. They finally realized the dream of the tank. That you can crap in it. Yeah, but I mean, I would anyway. Yeah. I feel sorry for the robot that has to keep up

with the tank to bring the toilet paper. Give that robot a medal. All right, very good. Here is your next limerick. From that night, I was lit as a skunk. All my memories are trapped in a funk. But at this museum is where I can see them. They honor those nights we were...

Drunk. Drunk, yes, very good. A museum of hangovers is opening this year in Zagreb. It promises, quote, the best hangover and drunk stories, so stories that are funny for the person telling it and boring for everyone else. The best part, though, is the front desk coat check. When you go back to get your coat,

they just give you last night's clothes and make you walk home in them. It's a museum of hangovers. The Hangover Museum. It collects stories from around the world, offers a wonderful international look at different remedies for hangovers and drinking traditions

and all the places that people have decided the taco bell was a good idea it's just got a wall full of like texts to your ex exactly right hey you gotta come over i was thinking about you i'll drive the tank Here is your last limerick. When the world is in steady decline, quit pretending that everything's fine. You'll be easing your pain if you moan and complain. It's much better for you if you... Whine?

Whine! Yes! How's that? Yeah, new research shows that whining could be a healthy way if you... Whine? Whine! Yes! How's that? Yeah, new research shows that whining could be a healthy way to process emotions of stress and frustration and bond with the people around you, unless, of course, you're frustrated because everybody around you hates you because you whine so much.

The research, which is so boring and it's unfair because I had to read it, shows that there is a correct way to whine to get those emotional benefits. You have to, quote, make your complaining much more strategic,

unquote. Is there really nothing worse than someone whinesplaining to you? Come on, you're not whining right. Bill, how did Lauren

do on our quiz? Lauren was perfect. Three and O. Congratulations, Lauren. Well done. Thank you so much for playing. Support for this podcast and the following message come from Kay Buxbaum in support of the David Gilkey and Zabiula Tamana Memorial Fund,

established to strengthen NPR's commitment to training and protecting journalists in high-risk environments. Now on to our final game, lightning fill-in-the-blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Luke and Adam each have two. Roxanne has four. All right. We flipped a coin, and Luke has elected to go first.

So here we go. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. elected to go first. So here we go. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, Mitch McConnell announced he had the votes to begin blank without an agreement on witnesses or documents. Impeachment. Right. Rough estimates predict that almost a billion animals have died in the wildfires raging across blank. Australia. Right. This week, an appeals court put a hold on a ruling that had blocked the White House from diverting money to fund the blank. Border wall. Yes. Following their strongest earthquake in over 100 years, blank declared a state of emergency on Tuesday. Puerto Rico.

Right. An entrepreneur in Las Vegas was forced to shut down their business after officials discovered they were running a illegal blank out of their home. Tank building facility. No. They were running an unlicensed gas station out of their home. On Thursday, it was announced that the U.S. blank rate had dropped by the largest amount on record.

Unemployment? No, cancer. Once upon a time in Hollywood and 1917 were the big winners at this year's blank awards. Golden Globes. Right. This week, the Ohio State Medical Board revealed they'd received 28 petitions asking to make blank

a qualifying condition for medical marijuana. Being mildly hungry. No, being a fan of the Cleveland Browns. For over two decades, the Cleveland Browns have had the honor of being one of the worst teams in the NFL. But unfortunately, the Ohio Medical Board says that's still not enough to qualify for medical marijuana. So Browns fans will have to suffer through next season sober. But hey, it could be worse. At least they're not Cleveland Browns players. Those sound like a good strain, doesn't it?

If you're trying to be this Cleveland Brown. Now that you mention it, it sounds terrible. Bill, how did Luke do in our quiz? Five right, ten more. And Luke, you still got the lead. All right. All right, Adam, you're up next. Fill in the blank.

Following a plane crash, Ukraine has barred flights from passing through blank's airspace. Iran. Right. This week, federal prosecutors recommended jail time for former National Security Advisor blank. Flynn. Yes. prosecutors recommended jail time for former National Security Advisor Blank. Um, Flynn? Yes. On Wednesday, Supreme Court Justice Blank revealed that she has started 2020 cancer-free. Notorious RBG. Exactly.

With David Ginsburg. Lottery officials in Mississippi became suspicious when two men tried to cash in a winning ticket with Blank. With the winning numbers glued on to an old ticket. That's exactly right. On Monday, prosecutors in L.A. filed charges against disgraced Hollywood producer blank.

Harvey Weinstein's winning. That's the name. On Thursday, NASA unveiled the completed core of their new rocket, which will be the first to put a woman on the blank. Moon? Yes. This week, the dating app Bumble banned someone claiming to be actress Sharon Stone, who was actually blank. Sharon Stone? Yes. This week, the dating app Bumble banned someone claiming to be actress Sharon Stone,

who was actually blank. Sharon Stone? Yes. Miss Stone discovered she was kicked off Bumble when she tried to log in last week. The app kicked her out because users assumed her account was fake. But Miss Stone took to Twitter to say, Hey, I need love too. Bumble bosses quickly let her back in the hopes that she would find another man to seduce

and then perhaps murder. quickly let her back in the hopes that she would find another man to seduce and then perhaps murder. Bill, how did Adam do in our quiz? Seven, right? 14 points. He's 16 now and taking over the lead. Congratulations. All right, Adam. So it's good to give Roxanne a challenge. How many does she need to win? Six to tie, seven to win. Seven to win. Here we go, Roxanne. This is for the game. Fill in the blank.

On Monday, former National Security Advisor Blank said he would provide impeachment testimony if he was subpoenaed. Bolton. Right. After pleading guilty to misusing campaign funds, GOP Representative Blank officially resigned. Duncan Hunter.

Yes. This week, former Nissan head Charles Ghosn defended his decision to flee house arrest in blank. In Japan. Right. After announcing he was dropping out of the race, Julian Castro endorsed blank for president. Elizabeth Warren.

Right. In order to help fight climate change, actor Joaquin Phoenix has pledged to blank. Something about clothes? You have to say it, Roxanne. Like go naked? No, he said he would wear the same tuxedo to every award show this season. Thanks to a reduction in coal consumption, the U.S. saw a 2% drop in blank emissions in 2019.

In greenhouse gas. Yes, on Wednesday, the Oscars announced they would once again be hosted by blank. No one. Right. This week, a woman in Florida was arrested after she threatened to get blank by, quote, any means necessary. Oh, no. To get a ticket to Cats. No, she threatened to get extra McDonald's dipping sauce by any means necessary.

Oh, she got arrested for that? She got arrested for that because she said, I want some more dipping sauce. And they said, 25 cents, please. That's how much McDonald's charges for extra dipping sauce. And she was like, never. And she started threatening them and said, I will get that dipping sauce by any means necessary. Other than giving them a quarter, apparently.

It does count as a means. It does. Technically, doesn't it? Yeah, yeah. Bill, I think an amazing thing has happened. Did Roxanne do well enough to win? Not quite. Oh, my God.

Let me explain. Six right, 12 more points, 16 ties, Adam. Oh, my goodness. I want you to know I'm stepping down from my senior royal position at Wait, Wait as the only person who didn't win this game. I want you to know I'm stepping down from my senior royal position at Wait, Wait. As the only person who didn't win this game. I will be in Canada if you need me. Yeah, being part of the royal family is like a game where everybody wins. In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict what will be the big gadget at next year's CES convention.

Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ, Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Chirping Frog's Berman Benevolent Overlord. Philip Godega writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our house manager is Gianna Capodona. Our intern is Emma Day. Our web guru is Beth Novy.

BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dernbos, and Lillian King. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our business and ops manager is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilog. And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me

is Michael Danforth. Now, panel, what will be the hot item at the next CES in 2021? Luke Burbank. Rumble, a dating app for your roomboat. It locates other single vacuums in the area. Looking for fun? Rumble, the dating app that admits it sucks. Roxanne Roberts.

The new Duchess of Sussex robot. This lifelike Megan always smiles, never complains about her in-laws, and has no middle fingers. And Adam Burke. Millie, the digital millennial assistant. It replies to every request by just saying, OK, boomer,

and then rolls out the door to pursue its real passion, walking dogs. All right. If any of that happens, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Luke Burbank, Roxanne Roberts, and Adam Burke. Thanks to all of you for listening.

All of you. I'm Peter Sagal. I'll be back with you next week. This is NPR.