Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - RZA
Episode Date: October 2, 2021Wu-Tang Clan founder RZA plays our game called, "Ooh, Tang!": three questions about NASA's favorite orange drink. He is joined by panelists Josh Gondelman, Negin Farsad and Emmy Blotnick.Learn more ab...out sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy
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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz.
America, build back better.
Build front best.
I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host, a man who has a thing right after this.
So if we could please hurry it along, that'd be great.
It's Peter Sagal.
Thank you, Bill. And thanks to everybody who helped me all along the way. Later on, we're going to be
talking to RZA, who founded the Wu-Tang Clan, revolutionized hip-hop. He's written books, scored
movies, made movies. He's now made an Emmy-nominated TV series about his own life. Next, he says he's
interested in pursuing comedy,
and we will try to convince him to leave at least one little thing for the rest of us.
But first, we want to hear what worlds you have conquered. So give us a call. The number is
1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Now let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi,
you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi there. Hi, who's this this is anastasia mcnabb from fort
wayne indiana anastasia you said yes is that spelled like anastasia it is but it's the greek
pronunciation oh i see i see okay i didn't know that that's a beautiful name uh what do you do
there i am a quasi retired preschool teacher who does some subbing and makes cards and stickers
and assorted artwork. Wait a minute. So you're like a tough old retired kindergarten teacher
and they brought you back in for one last job? No, I'm like a lazy... Wait, that's me. I'm also
a retired preschool teacher who is lazy. We have so much in common. I know. It's wonderful.
Also a retired preschool teacher who is lazy.
We have so much in common.
I know.
It's wonderful.
Well, welcome to our show, Anastasia.
Let me introduce you to our panel.
First, a comedian and host of the podcast Fake the Nation.
She's co-hosting Star Talk with Neil deGrasse Tyson.
It's Nagin Farsad.
Anastasia, hey.
Hi there.
Next, he's a writer and producer for Desus and Mero in Showtime and the host of the podcast Make My Day.
It's Josh Gondelman.
Hello.
Hi there.
And finally, a comedian whose stand-up album Party Nights is available everywhere.
Welcome back, Emmy Blotnick.
Hey, nice to see you.
Do you like that?
I do.
I do.
Well, welcome to the show.
You're going to play Who's Bill this time.
Bill Curtis, of course, is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you will win our prize. Any voice from our show you might choose in your voicemail. You ready to play?
I am.
Well, let's do it then. Here's your first quote. It's from a senator who was asked where she stands on crucial legislation.
I'm standing in front of the elevator. That was Senator Kristen Sinema of Arizona
who refuses to say what she thinks about what bill.
The infrastructure.
You know, good enough, good enough.
The infrastructure, as I think the official name.
We also would have accepted reconciliation
or Build Back Better or the debt ceiling. And we would have accepted. I have no idea because we don't know either. We don't know whatever it is. Apparently it's come down to Kristen Sinema, who to this point has been pretty much known only as the senator who seems to dress entirely in clothing purchased at art museum gift shops.
who seems to dress entirely in clothing purchased at art museum gift shops.
But now she's the most important person in the country and nobody knows what she wants.
She won't say it's always inspiring to see a female leader who's willing to
fight for her principles.
And with cinema,
we got one out of two,
even Elizabeth Warren was like,
nevertheless,
stop persisting.
I need to ask this, but can any of you explain what the hell
is going on there's like a thruple of bills that like oh you had to bring polyamory into it geez
that too and there you have to like if you want to like be in a relationship with them they have
to it has to be together and they like they all have to agree is what I understand.
Are you saying if you want to be their lover,
you've got to get with their friends?
Is that kind of.
Yeah.
Now,
now Senator Sinema is paired with West Virginia Senator Joe Manchin.
He's the other holdout.
And like all great celebrity couples, Bennifer, Brangelina, they have a Joe Manchin. He's the other holdout. And like all great
celebrity couples, Bennifer, Brangelina, they have a nickname Manchinema, which sounds like
something painful you have to do before a colonoscopy. I was up all night with a Manchinema
before going in for the procedure. Now, I do feel like they should, it's right there. They've got
to call themselves Sinchin, which I know sounds like a nickname for a goatee.
But yes, it would work for Sin Chin. That's a soul patch.
Yeah, you're right. It is a soul patch.
Nobody knows exactly what Senator Sinema wants, but with Senator Manchin, we all know what he wants is cuts.
Instead of providing dental coverage, for example, Medicare will just encourage people
to floss.
And instead of child care subsidies in the bill, the government will just send all working
parents old Arthur DVDs they can park their kids in front of.
Well, to my earlier point, I believe Kyrsten Sinema really, really, really wants to zig
a zig.
Anything you put in front of Joe Manchin, he wants to downsize.
I think he probably, if he could, would change his name from Joe Manchin to Joe Tastefully Large House.
All right.
Your next quote is from NBA player Robin Lopez.
I'm still not sure that Milwaukee's actually won the championship.
I wasn't there.
There's got to be some kind of proof.
I'm going to do my own
research and figure out if they won it. Lopez was rather dryly making fun of some of his fellow
NBA players who are, quote, doing their own research and refusing to do what?
Take the COVID test or get vaccinated. Exactly right. Get it. As the third NBA season of the COVID era is about to begin,
many of the biggest stars are saying they won't take the vaccine.
It really doesn't make any sense.
Basketball uniforms are tailor-made for getting shots, right?
I need you to roll up your sleeves.
Oh, never mind.
It's amazing because prior to this,
they were the example the other leagues turned to
in how to have sports during COVID.
The NBA bubble, remember, Disney World, big success.
But now a lot of players are saying they won't get vaccinated.
They're afraid of what might happen.
The most concerning news is that Derrick Rose got the vaccine and it immediately tore his ACL.
He's fragile.
Maybe we need to have like a shot clock, like counts down from, you insert the basketball
number that the shot clock counts down from.
24, it's 24 seconds.
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I do want to say, and this might not go anywhere funny, but I do think it is awesome that the
WNBA is at 99% vaccination.
I do think it is awesome that the WNBA is at 99% vaccination.
I think sometimes people overlook that because the NBA is at 90%. WNBA is at 99%.
So if you want to watch a game where you feel less worried about WNBA playoffs, happen to now.
Well, it is great.
Some years from now, people will say, WNBA, so much better.
It's a much more team-oriented game, a lot more passing, and most of the players are still alive.
Much more passing, much less transmission.
I think that is such a really nice...
All right, Anastasia, here is your last quote.
It is from an LA real estate developer named Niall Niami.
It's very important that we bring the world together, rich and poor, black and white.
It doesn't matter, and I hope that this does it.
Mr. Naomi was hoping that he'd bring the world together with something that is now driving him into bankruptcy, the most expensive what ever built.
Wow. I mean, is it a house?
It is the house. It is great news for people who are looking for a bargain. It's a hundred,000 square foot, nine bedroom mansion on a hilltop in LA.
It was expected to sell for $500 million, but it's now been seized by the lender.
So you should be able to pick it up for a mere hundred million.
The house is so big, instead of foreclosure, they call it five closure.
The mansion was called The One by its now now bankrupt developer it was supposed to be the
ultimate of luxury living it's got a 4 000 square foot master bedroom with its own pool it's got an
imax home theater seating for dozens tiered infinity pools and quarters for your servants
servants servants there is a 50 car garage you You're basically buying your personal mall of America.
Honestly, 50-car garage.
This person would be crossing their fingers Jay Leno wants to move into a new house.
Totally.
Leno Seinfeld.
Seinfeld.
Or it's going to be an airport.
I live in an apartment where you can touch every point of the apartment with your foot sitting down.
That's what I understand.
How many legs would I need to live in that house and touch everything?
It has seven pools, Nagin.
I get exhausted just thinking about maintaining affairs with seven different pool boys.
This is the only place you're talking about bed.
So every place has a bedroom and a bathroom.
This is the only house I've ever heard of that actually has a beyond room.
Bill, how did Anastasia do on our quiz?
Anastasia did well.
Three and oh, she's the winner.
Congratulations.
She wins the house.
Yeah, move in.
The way this poor guy is going, I would not be surprised if he actually tried to offer it as our prize.
Congratulations, Anastasia.
It's a real pleasure to talk to you.
Thank you.
My pleasure.
Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news.
Emmy, Elizabeth Holmes, the founder of the now bankrupt company Theranos, is on trial in California for fraud.
And no matter what happens to her, it cannot be worse than what happened to her this week when her what were read aloud in open court.
Her text.
That's right.
Oh, my gosh.
Miss Holmes, what are you doing on this Zoom?
Yes.
Specifically, her love texts to her boyfriend and one-time co-defendant.
Holmes' defense is that her business and one-time romantic partner, Sonny Balwani, somehow manipulated her into committing all this fraud.
Well, if he did, he did not do it with sweet talk, according at least to these cringy love texts they exchanged.
For example, this is one that Elizabeth wrote to Sonny.
You're the breeze in desert for me, my water and ocean meant to be only together, tiger.
And how does Balwani respond to that?
Quote, OK.
Not even a period.
Just the letters.
Okay.
Wow.
And it gets worse.
It's so embarrassing.
It gets worse.
At one point she texts, quote, madly in love with you and your strength.
And he responded to that with, quote, I am tired today.
Oh, man.
Yes, he is desert. That guy really is not bringing much
Wait
Were the texts about fraud
Were those also in poem form?
No I wish
That would be
I lied to Walgreens tiger
Our accounting is a
Mosaic of imagination.
Coming up, what once was lost has now been found in our Bluff the Listener game.
Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY.
We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.
from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz.
I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Emmy Blotnick, Josh Gondelman, and Nagin Forsad.
And here again is your host, a man who spent the break thinking long and hard about what he did, Peter Sagal.
Thank you so much, Bill.
Right now it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff the Listener Game.
Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game in the air.
Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Hi, this is Dylan Manderlink calling from Palmer, Alaska.
Dylan from Palmer, Alaska. Where is Palmer in Alaska?
It's about 45 minutes north of Anchorage.
I see.
And what do you do there?
I am a graduate student at Alaska Pacific University.
And I also work at a kombucha bar on the side.
Of course you do.
Of course you do. Is kombucha big in Alaska?
Like your big kombucha drinkers up there?
Not really. But I think they're starting to become kombucha big in Alaska? Like your big kombucha drinkers up there? Um, not really,
but I think they're starting to become kombucha drinkers.
Really?
And how often do you have to deal with an angry customer who's been there for
three hours and finally realizes that kombucha is not alcoholic?
That happens more often than you probably think,
actually.
Well, welcome to the show, Dylan. You're going to play the game in which you must try to tell
truth from fiction. Bill, what is Dylan's topic? 146 years.
Something was lost exactly 146 years ago. And I'm not just talking about the Battle of Gundet.
Thanks, Wikipedia. Anyway, now the missing thing that was lost has just been found.
Our panelists are going to tell you the story.
Pick the one who's telling the truth.
You will win the voice of the weight-waiter of your choice in your voicemail.
Are you ready to do this?
Absolutely.
All right.
First, let's hear from Emmy Blotnick.
Have you ever encountered a bird's nest so large you thought,
hey, is there room for me in there?
That was the
case this week when wildlife experts in Philadelphia were called in to dismantle a massive
generations-old bird's nest. They were surprised to discover, embedded deep within the tornado of
twigs and leaves, a gentleman's toupee. The hairpiece has since been identified as that
belonging to Edwin Booth, brother of the famously rude theater patron John Wilkes Booth.
It was carried away by a crow during an open-air performance of Macbeth,
a name that theater people now consider bad luck.
So while we still don't know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop,
thanks for nothing, Mr. Owl,
we do know that a toupee makes a great addition
to a historic multifamily bird chateau. All right. Edwin Booth's missing toupee
found as part of an enormous historical bird's nest. Your next story of Better Late Than Never
Find comes from Nagin Farsad. Peter Weller died in Lansing, Michigan in 1849 and was buried
in the Oak Park Cemetery, where he probably expected to remain forever. A few years later,
though, he was transferred to Mount Hope Cemetery and his beautiful marble gravestone went missing.
What happened to it? Had it been stolen? Who would want a marble gravestone with the name
Peter Weller on it unless it was someone also named Peter Weller, who also lived and died at exactly the same time?
But now, nearly two centuries later, it has finally turned up in the most obvious place.
Peter Weller's tombstone has been used as a surface for making fudge in some random lady's kitchen.
random lady's kitchen. The details on how this random lady acquired the headstone are still a bit mysterious, but I'm guessing she was walking home one day and tripped over a tombstone in the
middle of the sidewalk. I mean, those pesky things will just roll out of a cemetery. You can hardly
keep them in place, you know. Now that it's been found, it's been returned to the cemetery,
so Peter Weller can finally rest in fudgy peace. A marble tombstone being used to make delicious fudge for God knows
how many years. Your last story of a long-term lost and found item comes from Josh Gondelman.
The body of Tree Stump the Plunderer washed ashore in Key West in 1872. But when his corpse was found,
it was missing the pirate's most famous appendage. Yes, the machete that served as his left hand
remained lashed to
his wrist with palm fronds, and his prosthetic coconut shell butt cheeks were still stuck to
the backs of his legs as they had been since he lost his original butt in an attempted mutiny by
his crew. But the wooden leg that gave Tree Stump his name had disappeared, presumably lost forever
to the briny deep. That is, his leg was presumed lost until recently. It turns out the people of
Key West were in possession of it all along, but they'd been using it as a baseball bat.
That's right. The annual Key West Seaside Classic takes place on the beach, and every hitter has
used the same reclaimed wood bat since the first match in 1878. The discovery was made when
criminals used the bat in a gator hatchery theft in 2018.
A DNA test failed to identify the perpetrators, but turned up results consistent with organic matter found on Tree Stump's coconut butt.
Since then, it has become tradition for a batter to point at the sea, thanking the spirit of Tree Stump every time they drive in an RBI in the Seaside Classic.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
All right.
Anyway.
That only makes me prouder.
So here are your choices, Dylan.
Something was lost and now it is found.
Is it from Emmy, Edwin Booth's toupee, lost for years and discovered built into a bird's nest?
From Nagin Farsad, a missing marble gravestone
that had been used,
it turns out,
to make fudge.
You know, fudge.
Or from Josh Gondelman,
a pirate's wooden leg
that ended up being
the traditional baseball bat
for an annual baseball game
in Key West, Florida.
Which of these
is the real item
that was lost
and discovered
in an odd place?
Wow.
I really want all of them to be true,
but I think I'm going to go with Nagin's with the fudge and the tombstone.
The fudge and the tombstone, because there's no fudge like tombstone fudge.
Well, to bring you the real story, we spoke to somebody who is responsible for returning this
thing to its proper place. It was in the home of a family in Okemos who had developed the habit of using this white
marble slab to make fudge.
That was Loretta Stanaway, president of Friends of Lansing Historic Cemeteries,
an organization that has rediscovered the tombstone and is returning to the grave of
Mr. Peter Weller.
Congratulations, Dylan.
You got it right. You earned a point for Nagin Farsad. You have won our prize, the Voice of Your. Peter Weller. Congratulations, Dylan, you got it right.
You earned a point for Nagin Farsad. You have won our prize, the voice of your choice in your
voicemail. Thank you. Thank you so much, Dylan. Thank you.
And now the game where very cool people are asked about lukewarm topics. It's called Not My Job.
One way to judge how interesting somebody's life has been is to ask, would it make for a good TV show?
By that standard, The RZA's life has been amazing.
The show about his life growing up in the projects of Staten Island back when he was Bobby Diggs, the show is called Wu-Tang, an American Saga, was nominated for an Emmy and is now starting its second season.
He joins us now. RZA, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Peace, peace, peace. Live in the building or wherever I'm at. Thanks for inviting me.
It is a pleasure to have you in our little virtual space here. So I've been watching
the TV show this week, getting ready to talk to you. Let me ask you this. Was it weird or strange
to reenact your own youth? I mean, it's a dramatization, right?
Of true events.
You know, some things are embellished
and some things are actually dampened
so that we don't really give you the whole story.
You know, it's worse than what you saw.
Yeah.
You know, you think about our lyrics,
you know, you hear a lot of harsh lyrics,
a lot of uplifting lyrics as well,
knowledge of self and all these things.
And so the show just is a kind of like a visual replication of our lyrics.
Yeah, I totally get that. It's also, I have to say this, a really good TV show. And I was,
I shouldn't have been, surprised to find out that in addition to producing and scoring the show,
you wrote it, at least the episodes I saw. Did you have, I mean, you've taught yourself
so many things I know in your life. Did you have to go out and teach yourself how to write TV?
Oh yeah. I mean, I read a book, I think it's called Sid Phil screen play.
Yeah. Yeah. Famous book. Yeah.
Yeah. So I read that book maybe about, I don't know, 10, 12, maybe 15 years ago.
I was, I was advised by a friend of mine named Sophia Chang.
And she kind of, she may have gave me that book.
And I didn't read it until Quentin Tarantino told me also, you should write.
Because writing lyrics and writing songs are microcosms to the macrocosm that you could
get from a whole TV show or a whole film.
Right.
Is there, again, just looking at your career, where you came from and what you've done,
is there anything you found out you can't do?
Yeah.
There's a few things.
First of all, I couldn't swim until a couple of years ago.
Okay.
Really?
Okay.
No, you know, look,
we all got our limitations.
I don't drive.
You don't?
Wait a minute.
You don't drive?
It ain't that I can't drive.
My wife won't let me drive, right?
Really?
Why?
She says I can't drive.
Really?
Why can't you drive?
I just, I don't know.
I thought I could, you know, but...
I'm feeling vaguely better.
We heard, I mean, you are into so many things and so good at many of them, but we did hear you have an, I will say an unexpected enthusiasm.
Tell me if it's true for HGTV.
Yeah, who told you that?
I have a very talented producer whose job it is to research our guests
and until this very moment i thought she was pranking me no that's that's that's like me and
my white favorite pastime you know really we fall asleep to hgtv that's like at the end of the night
watch everything turn to hgtv and bong bong do you have like a favorite show? Are you a property brothers guy? I mean,
Oh,
the property brothers.
Whoa,
baby.
I, I feel like we're very close to the collaboration.
The song,
Pabrim property brothers rule everything around me.
Oh,
they're dope.
Love it.
Unless it is dope.
I mean,
look,
we were so into invested,
uh,
flip it. Yeah. Yeah. When they uh flip it yeah yeah when they broke up
yeah when they broke up the the uh the couple wait a minute so okay so this is a show called
flip it and it was hosted by this married couple yeah when they broke up it was like that was like
dinner table talk at my house like yo then they're gonna get back then they got back together
i don't want to say their names but i know what you can say in this world. But then they get back together
and they're back doing the show again
but they're not married no more.
They did a Wu-Tang move.
The show must go on. I agree.
So, I mean,
the problem with watching HDTV
is like...
You get eventually
dissatisfied
with your own house, right?
That's what happens to me.
I envy too much.
Well, you can also find a nice lamp.
That's how I'm going to think about everything in my life from now on.
Whenever I feel inadequate, I'm just going to shrink everything really small.
Think about what's within my control and whatever the nice lamp is in that situation,
I'm going to find my nice lamp. I am going to, I tell you, because I got to say,
watching the TV show is a high stress experience. You don't know what's going to happen to Bobby.
And I'm just going to tell myself it's okay. The last he's going to be in bed with his wife, looking at HDTV and going, that's a nice lamp.
And all will be well.
I like that.
I got to ask, only because everything you become interested in, you master, are you going to do a home renovation show?
No, but we got an ongoing joke.
I hope my wife won't get mad if I say this.
I got to check on my wife.
You know what I mean?
But we got an ongoing joke in our house.
We bought our second house.
So we, you know... But before we bought the second house,
we went to a lot of houses.
Sure.
So we would walk in and we would look around
and we would go back home and go,
the digs.
They look...
They walk in, but they don't buy.
Meet the father.
Meet the conservative father.
I don't know, I need more square feet.
I need more square feet.
The excited wife. Oh, honey, this is so
lovely.
Don't want to be their son. Can we leave,
mom? And the entitled
daughter. Oh, the master master suite this is my room right
and that was going on in our house well that's like our ongoing joke but anyway oh that is that
is amazing and weirdly comforting uh we're having too much fun but RZA we have invited you here to play a game that this time we're calling... Wu-Tang.
So you're the founder of Wu-Tang Clan.
So we thought we'd ask you about Tang.
That's the vaguely orange-flavored breakfast drink.
Okay.
Answer two to three questions about Tang.
You'll win a prize for one of our listeners.
You remember Tang, right?
The astronaut's beverage?
Yeah, great morning breakfast.
Yes, sir.
Ovaltine and Tang.
Never forget them.
All right.
Bill, who is RZA playing for? Andrew Roberts of Pittsburgh,
Pennsylvania. All right. Here's your first question. Tang, of course, became famous as the favorite drink of astronauts. For example, what did Buzz Aldrin, the second man on the moon,
once say about Tang? Did he say, quote, we're drinking our own recycled pee. Of course you want to add sugar.
B, quote, Tang sucks.
Or C, quote, I'll say anything tastes good if you pay me enough.
Wow.
I'm going to go with A.
You're going to go with A, we're drinking your own recycled pee.
Of course you want to add sugar.
I'm going with A.
I admire you.
No, the answer was B, Tang sucks.
We've kind of fooled you because in the Apollo missions, they didn't have the technology to recycle pee yet.
Oh, nice trick question there.
Yeah, I know.
Sorry about that.
You still have two more chances.
Using Tang in the space program wasn't without challenges, such as when which of these happened.
Tang in the space program wasn't without challenges such as when which of these happened.
A, initially NASA planned to hydrate astronauts with a quote Tang enema, but the astronauts refused.
B, one astronaut's spacewalk was ruined by a quote life-threatening Tang leak inside his helmet.
Or C, a pilot program on Apollo 8 in which they asked the astronauts to snort the powdered drink up their noses to save the weight of water?
Wow.
These are tough questions, first of all, brother.
Well, you know, you're a master, man.
I'm going to go with C.
You're going to go with C.
So they ask them to snort the powder.
You got to go.
You in space, baby.
I know.
You're going to stick with that is what I'm getting.
You know what?
That's for the person who wants to win something.
So I'll give him a chance and say it.
A?
A.
The Tang enema?
No, I got it. I got it.
No, I'm sorry.
My final answer is B.
Yes, B, Ringo.
Yeah.
It was in his helmet, and the Tang is, like, floating around his helmet.
And they found out later that if it did like touch any electrical wires,
it could have like set his space suit on fire.
All right.
Last question.
You get this right.
You win by the two thousands,
of course,
Tang no longer part of the space program.
So instead of astronauts,
their commercials featured what a,
a bunch of sad people experiencing something called existential tanks,
B orangutans drinking Tang or C David Hasselhoff holding up a glass of the
stuff and saying,
it's also big in Germany.
Ooh,
I'm going with C.
You're just going right for the Hasselhoff,
right for the Hoff.
I guess the question is,
and you,
you know,
you've been around,
you know how these things work.
Do you think that knowing that David Hasselhoff endorsed your product would make you want to drink it?
No, I think if it was an astronaut and he did it, it would make you not want to drink it.
That's true.
You're going to go for it.
You're going to stick with Hasselhoff.
You stick with the Hoff, as I believe.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
What did I say again?
You said C.
The other choices were existential tanks or orangutans drinking Tang.
Oh, the orangutans drinking Tang.
That's it.
It was the orangutans, of course.
Orangutans drinking Tang.
I remember that story.
Look, I didn't realize that at some point NASA decided Tang ain't nothing to f*** with.
Well, that's when they added Wu to it.
That's when the Wu came in.
There you go.
Bill, how did RZA do in our quiz?
Wu-Tang, you got two out of three, which means a win.
Congratulations, RZA.
Thank you.
Season two of Wu-Tang, an American saga, is streaming on Hulu now.
It is an extraordinarily gripping TV show.
Thank God we know it ends up okay.
RZA, thank you so much.
An absolute honor to talk to you, take up some of your time.
We really appreciate it.
Thanks so much for being on Wait, Wait.
Thanks, guys.
Take care.
Take care.
In just a minute,
bada bing, bada boom,
it's the Listener Limerick Challenge.
Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT
to join us in the air.
We'll be back in a minute
with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me
from NPR.
From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me,
the NPR News Quiz.
I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing
this week with Nagin Farsad,
Josh Gondelman, and
Emmy Blotnick.
And here again is your host, a man, a recent performance review called,
Occasionally on Time for Meetings, it's Peter Sagal.
Thank you, Bill.
In just a minute, Bill builds a rhyme shackle house in our Listener Limerick Challenge game.
If you'd like to play, give us a call, 1-888-WAIT-WAIT.
That's 1-888-924-8924.
But right now, panel, it is time for a game
that once upon a time we called...
The Trump Dump.
Good news, folks.
Donald Trump is back.
There's a juicy new book out by one of his,
I think, 17 former press secretaries.
And we're going to ask you about what we learned from it.
As always, rapid fire, true, false style.
Get your answer right.
You get a point.
You ready to play?
Here we go.
We're going to rock it through these.
Emmy, true or false?
When Donald Trump would get angry,
there was an aide whose job it was to play memory
from the musical Cats to calm him down.
Oh, that's true.
It is true.
Josh, true or false?
When Trump met with Vladimir Putin
in 2019, Putin would dangle shiny objects in front of him to distract him. False? It is false.
Instead, Putin brought a, quote, attractive brunette to be his translator in order to distract Trump.
Nagin, true or false? Trump once asked this press secretary to reenact his perfect phone call with the Ukrainian president for the press and, quote, do both of the voices. True. Yes. Emmy, true or false, when the Stormy Daniels
scandal broke, Trump brought a press aide into his office to tell her it wasn't true.
It's worse than that, but yes, true, right? No, it is false. He brought her in to tell her his
penis was not in fact shaped like a toadstool. Like a toadstool!
Like a toadstool!
Nagin, true or false, when Trump got a
colonoscopy at Walter Reed, he refused
anesthesia because he didn't want to look weak.
Oh, true. That's so true.
No, it's false. He refused it because he
didn't want Pence to be acting president
even for half an hour.
Emmy, true or false,
we're willing to believe all these stories
from people who we would not have listened to for a second
while they were working for Trump
because it's really fun.
Oh, that's true for sure.
It is true, yes.
You gotta believe in the waking colonoscopy.
And that is the latest edition of our Trump Dump.
And if there is a God in heaven,
it will be the last one.
edition of our Trump Dump, and if there is a God in heaven, it will be the last one.
Now it's time for some more questions from the week's news.
Nagin, the Heinz Corporation unveiled a new invention this week to make it easier to do what? Wait, the Heinz Corporation? You know them, Heinz Ketchup. They have unveiled a
new product. It's an invention they came up with. They're selling it. It's all designed to make it easier to do what?
To get the ketchup out of the bottle.
So close. Not the bottle, but something else.
Oh, to open the jar in which your ketchup resides.
Have you never been to like a McDonald's drive-thru?
Oh, to, right, to like have to go ketchup.
Which come in?
Little squirty packets.
Squirty packets, yes.
This is a device designed to get all the ketchup out of the squirty packet.
It's like this clam.
Is that device called just your human fingers?
No, no, no.
It's shaped like a little ketchup bottle
because it's adorable,
but it's essentially like one of those ringers
that old-timey washer tubs have.
And you put in the...
There's a little razor that you use to open up the packet,
then you put it in and you crank it
and it squeezes all the ketchup right out of there,
right onto your shirt.
So it like saves the trouble.
Was this like an issue that was vexing Americans that they couldn't get the pack?
Because I just want to say I've been with these squirty packages my whole life.
The ones that we've known from my childhood.
And I have to say, I always got the ketchup out of them.
But you keep it in a jar, it sounds like.
Yeah.
All of us really wondered about that.
It sounded, frankly, like, oh, your ketchup jar?
Like that slip that the spy makes?
Ah, Nikki's never had ketchup.
Oh, she's just putting pasta sauce on her burgers.
Nagin dunks her fries in ragu.
I think, I mean, food waste is a huge problem,
but it doesn't seem like the place to start
is with the smallest quantities of food waste.
Like, hey, if we save,
just like a campaign with celebrities,
like if you just save
the bottom of your ketchup packet
every time you get ketchup packets
for one year,
you will have almost
one whole ketchup packet
at the end of that year.
Coming up, it's lightning fell in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT.
That's 1-888-924-8924.
Or click the Contact Us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org.
Or you can follow us at WaitWait on Twitter and at WaitWaitNPR on instagram to get more weight weight in your life well on your phone which is your life fun
hi you're on weight weight don't tell me hi this is carolyn matthews doubt from lebanon new hampshire
that's great carolyn nice to talk to you what do you do there in lebanon um i'm a designer but i'm
actually currently just um hiking i'm on the Appalachian Trail, so I guess unemployed.
Really? Are you near the beginning of the trail or near the end?
No, I'm currently in Virginia, so I've hiked 1,500 miles.
Wait a minute. You are calling us from the Appalachian Trail?
I am. I'm calling you from a remote campsite on a ridge in Virginia.
What are you doing for food? I'm just eating lots of ramen and Snickers.
Sounds awesome, frankly. Welcome to the show, Carolyn. Bill Curtis is going to read you three
news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in
that last word or phrase correctly into the limericks, you will be a winner. You ready to play?
I'm ready. All right. and two of the limericks will be a winner. Are you ready to play? I'm ready.
All right.
Here is your first limerick.
Tough love mental health care providers say I must face my fears of web gliders.
They filter JPEGs to add bugs with eight legs.
In these pics, I am covered with...
Spiders?
Yes! There is a new augmented
reality app on the market that claims to
cure anybody's fear of spiders.
The app is called Phobis.
It's pretty straightforward. You open the app, you point your phone's
camera at a surface in your home, and the app will show
you that part of your house covered in spiders.
And now you feel better. This is the
wrong question to ask of someone who is
in the wilderness for the indefinite future.
That's true.
She doesn't need augmented reality.
You have to find spiders.
They're crawling on her right now.
Yeah, she's enjoying reality classic.
So it walks you through 10 levels of intensity to get you accustomed to spiders, right?
First is like a little spider.
And then there's a spider in the wall.
And at the last level, level 10, you wake up in the morning and you have been somehow transformed into a giant spider and then your family mistreats you
kafka humor everybody always always successful all right very good here is your next limerick
carolyn some folks only deal with paisanos then go go fight with them, mano a mano.
Since the New Jersey mob cannot finish the job, HBO will reboot the...
Sopranos?
Sopranos, yes.
This week, HBO released a new Sopranos film, The Many Saints of Newark.
The movie is actually a prequel following a young Tony Soprano
as he grows from a young man into a full-fledged Italian stereotype. If you watch it, you will note
that the actor playing young Tony Soprano looks exactly like a young James Gandolfini, who played
him, of course, in the TV series, because he sort of is, he is James's son, Michael Gandolfini,
which is a great idea. And why don't we do it more often?
Does Harrison Ford have a son?
Because I would love to watch a new Indiana Jones movie
without worrying about his hips.
It's so much better than like the thing they did
in the Irishman, right?
Where they de-aged them?
Where they de-aged them.
Yeah.
Just like slow dudes, but with hot faces.
Like that's weird. You know, what's weird is everybody is like, de-age them. Yeah. Because they're just like slow dudes but with hot faces. Like,
that's weird.
You know,
what's weird is
everybody is like,
wow,
this is amazing.
There's,
you know,
David Chase,
the genius behind
The Sopranos,
he's bringing us back
into their lives
when they were younger
as they were becoming
the people that we enjoyed
and watched.
And everybody's like,
this is an amazing act
of artistic achievement.
Guys,
it's young Sheldon.
Right?
It's the same
thing. We should do this with all
the great shows, though, like The Toddling Dead,
Pony of Easttown,
Mad Boys. Young
Seinfeld.
Here is your last
limerick. Wooden
furniture strikes such a hard
cord, but this upcycling makes me a starred
lord. With boxes, I'm able to make chairs and tables. My furniture's made out of cardboard.
Yes, cardboard. More and more people are interested in sustainable options for furniture,
as made popular by the cardboard beds featured at this year's olympics
in japan people aren't really interested in the athletics no it's like give us the part of the
olympics we can sleep on so now you too at home can have a cardboard bed and the internet will
light up with false stories about how it's to prevent you from having sex on it look when i
was when i was in the market for a cheap disposable bed that you
didn't really have to care for nobody was stopping me from having sex except me okay
the bed if they saw the bed that's better than i thought i was gonna do
bill how did carolyn do in our quiz? Carolyn, you've got happy trails ahead.
You got all three right.
Congratulations.
You are our first long distance hiker winner.
It's very exciting.
Don't get eaten.
Wow.
Thank you so much.
This has been an absolute pleasure.
Thank you.
A pleasure to talk to you.
Take care, Carolyn.
Stay safe.
Okay.
Thanks.
Bye. now on to our final game lightning fill in the blank each of our players will have 60 seconds
in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can each correct answer now
worth two points bill could you please give me the scores emmy has three josh has four and
nagin has four.
All right, Emmy, you're in third place.
You'll go first.
Fill in the blank.
On Tuesday, Pfizer submitted research that showed its blank was safe to use on kids.
A vaccine.
Right.
On Monday, the USPS announced they were permanently slowing delivery time of blank class mail.
First class mail.
Yes.
This week, Janet Yellen warned lawmakers that the US would run out of blank in mid-October. Money. Yes. On Monday, a judge granted a release to John
Hinckley, the man who tried to assassinate blank. Ronald Reagan. Yes. This week, a man in South
Carolina was arrested after police searched his house and found a stolen blank in the bedroom.
A gun?
R. Kelly?
Oh, pretty spears. Uh, flashing people? fundraiser called Controversy this year after festival goers were photographed blanking.
Flashing people?
No, using gravestones as tables.
St. Mary's Catholic Church in the UK holds the beer fundraiser every year,
but this is the first time they've held it in a graveyard.
People were shocked when pictures were posted online showing the revelers using gravestones to hold their beers.
They're right to be because we all know that gravestones
should be used for making fudge and nothing else.
Bill,
how did Emmy do on our quiz?
Well,
she had six right for 12 more points.
She now has 15 and the lead.
I eat my dust,
Josh and Nagin.
I hate dust.
Nagin and Josh are tied. So I'm going to arbitrarily pick Nagin to go first.
Here we go.
Fill in the blank.
On Tuesday, several top generals called the U.S.'s withdrawal from blank a strategic failure.
Afghanistan.
Right.
On Sunday, Germany's Social Democrat Party narrowly defeated the party led by outgoing Chancellor blank.
Angela Merkel.
Angela Merkel, yes.
This week, California Governor Gavin Newsom signed a law making universal mail-in blankingank. Angela Merkel. Angela Merkel, yes. This week, California Governor Gavin Newsom
signed a law making universal mail-in blanking permanent.
Voting.
Yes.
On Tuesday, officials in North Korea
said that they had tested a new hypersonic blankle.
Missile.
Yes.
This week, a pothole in Puerto Rico
was finally fixed after nearby residents blanked.
Poured jelly in it.
Threw it a fourth birthday party.
According to a new report, U.S. blank claims rose more than expected this month.
Unemployment?
Yes.
On Wednesday, the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service added 23 species to its list of blank animals.
Extinct.
Yeah, after a museum gave him $84,000 to recreate an old sculpture,
a Danish artist instead delivered them two blank canvases that he said were a new work
of art he titled blank.
Blank, literally.
No, he titled it Take the Money and Run.
Though conceptual art can sometimes be hard to understand, the Danish artist perfectly
explained his new work saying, quote, I have taken their money.
Bill, how did Nagin do on our quiz?
Very close.
She had six right for 12 more points.
She now has 16 and by one, the lead.
All right.
So then how many does Josh Gondelman need to win this thing?
Six to tie, seven to win.
All right, Josh, this is for the game.
Fill in the blank.
On Monday, President Biden got his blank shot
live on camera.
Booster.
Right.
On Wednesday, the UK announced it was readying troops
to help deal with a blank shortage in that country.
Uh, fuel.
Yes.
On Thursday, Department of Justice watchdog
uncovered widespread issues on blanks handling
of surveillance warrants.
The FBI?
Yes.
This week, several flights in Tokyo were delayed due to Blank.
Uh, rain?
No, a turtle moving really slowly across the runway.
This week, pop star Shakira revealed that she had been attacked by wild Blanks.
Boars.
Yes.
On Tuesday, President Obama broke ground on his presidential library in Blank.
Chicago?
Yes.
This week, a man in Turkey joined a search party without realizing that the person they were looking for was blank.
Him? Yes. The man was reported missing after he wandered off into the woods after a night
drinking with his friends. He sobered up and noticed a search party walking around. He decided
to join them, even though you have to admit it's a little creepy to join a search party looking for
a man with your exact name and your physical description. Eventually, he figured it out, confessed who he was, and said to the search party,
OK, now it's your turn to hide.
Bill, did Josh Gondelman do well enough to win?
He got six right for 12 more points.
That gives him 16.
Tied with Nagin as this week's champion.
You know what?
We're all winners in my book.
Except for Emmy.
I'm not a winner.
I understand.
In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict what surprising provision will be hidden in the infrastructure bill once it passes.
But first, let me tell you.
Wait, wait, don't tell me.
It's a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord.
Philip Godeker writes our limericks.
Our host manager is Gianna Capodona.
Our social media superstar is Emma Choi.
BJ Lederman composed our theme.
Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills,
Miles Dornbos, Lillian King, and Nancy Seychow.
Special thanks to Vinnie Thomas.
Secondhand and possibly misremembered medical advice
for our staff comes from Peter Gwynn.
Technical direction is from Lorna White.
Her CFO is Colin Miller.
Our production manager is Robert Newhouse.
Our senior producer is Ian Chilog.
And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Michael Danforth.
Now, panel, what provision will be hidden in the infrastructure bill?
Nagin Farsad.
Joe Manchin wants to modernize West Virginia, so he wants to get in there an electric-powered coal plant.
Emmy Blotnick.
Budget for a 2022 hot bods of Congress calendar.
And Josh Gondelman.
Funding for one six-foot-long Italian cold-cut bi-party sub for the celebration that crosses the aisle, baby.
Well, if any of that happens, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Thank you, Bill Curtis.
Thanks also to Nagin Farsad, Josh Gondelman, and Emmy Blotnick.
Thanks to all of you for listening.
I'm Peter Sagal.
We'll see you next week.
This is NPR.