Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - WWDTM: Bob and Erin Odenkirk

Episode Date: September 30, 2023

This week, we're live in LA with comedy legend Bob Odenkirk, and his daughter Erin. They talk their new book of poems, growing up with a dad on TV, and more.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

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From NPR, I'm WBEZ Chicago. This is, wait, wait, don't tell me, the NPR News Quiz. Hooray for Billy Wood. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Greek Theater in Los Angeles, California, Peter Sagan. Thank you, everybody. Thank you all so much.

We do, in fact, have a great show for you today. Later on, actor and writer Bob Odenkirk will be joining us along with his daughter, Erin Odenkirk, to talk about the new book they did as a family. Erin Odenkirk to talk about the new book they did as a family. But first, since we are here in Los Angeles, we want to offer big congratulations to all the WGA writers out there. Congratulations on getting that contract. We are so glad that you are now contractually allowed to listen to our jokes and imagine how they could have been better. If you have any tips for us, well, give us a call. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT.

That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Dana, and I'm in Corvallis, Oregon. Hey, Dana, how are you? What do you do there in Corvallis? I'm an elementary art teacher. An elementary art teacher.

I have a policy. I never make fun of elementary school teachers, and I especially never make fun of art teachers. Oh, thank you. But I am going to ask you a question because I am the father of young children once again who will soon be in elementary school. Is there any way to make

their art better? Um, no. No. And she would know, wouldn't she? Dana, let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, a comedian and co-host of the new podcast, Makes Sense with Chanel and Karen.

It's Karen Chee. Hey. Hi, Dana. Next, he'll be performing his new stand-up show at the Kennedy Center in Washington, D.C. on November 3rd and 4th. And here in Los Angeles at the Wiltern Theater on November 11th. It's Maz Jobrani. Hi, Dana. And an Emmy-winning writer whose latest book, I Will Show Myself Out, is available now in paperback.

It's Jesse Klein. Hi, Dana. Dana, you're going to play Who's Bill this time. Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, just two, you will win our prize. Any voice from our show, you might choose to answer your voicemail. Are you ready to go? Super ready.

Super ready. There we go. Your first quote is from football coach Bill Belichick, who this week was talking about a certain NFL star. Travis Kelsey has had a lot of big catches in his career. This would be the biggest. So what would be Travis Kelsey's biggest catch? Well, Taylor Swift. She's really putting him on the map.

Yes, Taylor Swift. Millions of people became football fans for the first time this week because Taylor Swift was seen in a luxury box with tight end Travis Kelsey's mother at last Sunday's Kansas City Chiefs game. Everybody was like, oh, my God. Travis and Taylor are dating. But it's all pure speculation. She could be dating his mom. the fact that Bill Belichick was talking about it it was striking to me just because he you know once you get like a that kind of grump and like a gray sweatshirt it's like oh they're

dating that's cute like he's Belichick's involved in this oh yeah big this is bigger than all he's he's a big swifty yeah he's like total swifty yeah I've admired Tay-Tay since the 89. That's Bill Belichick. He has an arm full of friendship bracelets. Yeah. To the elbow. Yeah. This is true.

More people watched this game, which, by the way, was a truly terrible football game. It was a blowout than any other game so far this year. And sales of Travis Kelsey jerseys increased by 400% this week, while there was a 400% drop in Jake Gyllenhaal jerseys. I mean, everybody's very excited. This is the first time apparently Taylor has dated an athlete. Everybody's thrilled. Thrilled. I don't think it's going to work, because if you think about it, their couple name would be Trailer. All right. Here, Dana, is your next quote from U.S. Senator Bob Menendez. I'm innocent. What's wrong with you guys?

Senator Menendez was saying he was innocent of what crime he is absolutely not innocent of. They were receiving bribes. Bribery, yes. Absolutely not innocent of. They were receiving bribes. Bribery, yes. He took bribes. During a raid of his home, the FBI found about $500,000 in cash and gold bars hidden there.

And this is true. They also got his search history on Google. They can get that. Be aware. And apparently, right after he got these gold bars and the guy who was bribing him, he Googled, how much is a gold bar worth? Senator, you have to be careful. Always Google, how much is a gold bar worth hypothetically?

How much is a gold bar worth feels like the bottom of the autofill. Like, that's not... How much is. Yeah, how much is a gold bar worth feels like the bottom of the autofill? Like that's not. How much is. Yeah, how much is. And then the last one. But that's because of him. He Googled it.

I feel like you have to know you are a cartoon villain if you go home and there's a pile of gold bars. Pretty much. Yeah, pretty much. A dead giveaway. Did you see he said the reason he had half a million dollars of cash at the house, he goes, in case of emergency, I've been withdrawing money all these years in case of an emergency. And then John Fetterman replied and said, at my house, in case of emergency, we have a flashlight. Right. The bribes allegedly came from an Egyptian businessman.

It did not help that Menendez delivered his defense of himself from in front of his new home, a giant pyramid. Don't we all, I mean, if I'm thinking about it, if I'm being really honest, I wouldn't mind having a gold bar, like a stack of gold bars. Yeah. Like when you grow up watching cartoons, you kind of want that gold bar. Am I alone here?

No, I don't know. They're cool. I don't know. Apocalypse money. Well, okay. So you've got your gold bars. Yes. What do you do with them? Stare, watch them sparkle in the sunlight, Peter.

Okay. Pay bail. Right. You don't have enough of them to swim in them like Scrooge McDuck. Not yet. Not yet. All right, Dana. Here is your last quote. This is probably the happiest I've ever felt on Yom Kippur. That was Wait-Wait's own Josh Gondelman,

who, when he is not with us, is a leader in the Writers Guild, celebrating the end of what? Oh, the strike. Yes, the Writers' Strike. Congratulations, the Writers' Strike is over. And again, congratulations to all the writers in our audience today. We're so glad you can go back to work

and are busy doing what writers do best, finding something to do other than write. So it's been remarkable. The writers went on strike, then the screen actors went on strike, the auto workers went on strike, and now possibly video game actors, everybody went on strike in what is being called hot strike summer. Everybody is walking off the job. They're picketing. They're picketing together. They're showing solidarity. It's great. You can express the union spirit while getting your steps in.

Yeah, I feel like this is, as a writer, this is the hottest I've ever been. So many steps. Yeah, I've been walking this whole, my legs are amazing. Really? You've got the quads to show for it? Yeah, if this show goes well, I'll show the crowd later. I saw, I saw, I follow all these writers and actors on social media, so I saw all these pictures of all of you guys on the picket lines, and it seemed like you were all having a great time. Are you going to miss it? Being outdoors? Yeah. Yes. Seeing the glowing orb in the sky

that makes you squint? Yes. Well, the thing that I'm happiest about, other than obviously getting the deal as a proud Writers Guild member, is, you know, the main thing that we love about what we do is our access to snacks at work. And so we're finally back at snacks, you know? Right.

Hashtag snack. That's all they needed to do was give you snacks? That was a huge thing. Well, I'm just saying we were holding out, you know, on our snacks. Right. So we've had to snack a lot. Did you ever just get up and wander into your own kitchen and go, damn it, no granola bars, and wander off?

Yes. No La Croix. La Croix. We had to buy our own. Is it La Croix? No, it's La Croix. La Croroix. We had to buy our own. Is it LaCroix? No, it's LaCroix. LaCroix. Yeah, yeah. LaZoix. Sorry. Didn't know everyone was from Paris.

Bill, how did Dana do on our quiz? She did great. Boy, is she good. Three and oh. Dana, thank you so much for calling in play. Thank you so much. Bye-bye. Well done. Bye. Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Karen, a new biography of Ian Fleming just came out, and in it we learned that

his most famous character, James Bond, almost had a different name. What was it? Thomas Markle. Don Jr. Is it like Jim Bond? It's close. It is, in fact. The last name was Bond,

but the first name was different. I'll give you a hint. If this had been his name, he would have gotten no respect. Oh, I got it. I just realized you are 30 years too young to get that hint. I get no respect. Oh, I got it. I just realized you are 30 years too young to get that hint. I get no respect. Maaz?

Maaz Bond? Yes, exactly. Maaz Bond. That has a ring to it. So what I'm about to give you is the last name of the person who has the same first name that I'm asking you to get. I got it. Not James Bond.

His last name is Bond. Yes. But this person, the subject of the hint, his last name was Dangerfield. Rodney! Yay! All right! The spy might have been named Rodney Bond.

This new biography reports that James Bond, the character, was named in honor of a real person named Rodney Bond. He was a soldier who had saved the life of Ian Fleming's brother in World War II. But Fleming, even though he wanted to go with Bond, he decided to change the first name to something, well, less Rodney-ish. But what if he hadn't? It's got a different feel. It's like, Rodney,ish. But what if he hadn't? It's got a different feel. It's like, Rodney, stop that nuke.

It just doesn't sound right. It's more like, Rodney, your mission is to retrieve all the shopping carts from the parking lot. What about Rod Bond? Like Rod Stewart. Like Rod Stewart. Maybe. Like Rod Stewart. Like Rod Stewart.

Maybe not like Rod Stewart. Bond, Rod Bond. Rod Bond. Rod Bond. That sounds like a porn star. That's a porn star. Yeah, Rod Bond. Guys.

Starring Rod Bond. Hi, I'm here to deliver your pizza. Coming up, find out once and for all what's in a name it's our bluff the listener game call 1-triple-8 wait wait to play we'll be back in a minute with more of wait wait don't tell me from NPO Up First achieves the rare one-two punches of being short and thorough, national and international, fact-based and personable. Every morning, we take the three biggest stories of the day and explain why they matter.

And we do it all in less than 15 minutes. So you can start your day a little more in the know than when you went to sleep. Listen now to the Up First podcast from NPR. than when you went to sleep. Listen now to the Up First podcast from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Jessie Kline, Karen Shee, and Maz Jobrani. And here again is your host, Greek Theater, Los Angeles, California, Peter Shagoff. Thank you, Bill.

Thank you, everybody. Great to be out here with you at the Greek. Right now, it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff, the listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game in the air. Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Erica calling from San Francisco. Hey. There are a lot of fans here in San Francisco. I'm so glad you people have finally made peace. What do you do there? I'm a psychotherapist. Of course you are.

How are people, I would, we would get therapists during the pandemic and I would ask how people were doing and the answer was what you might expect. So now that we're a couple years out of it, how are people doing? People are doing better. You know, it's been a long several years these past few years. Yes, yes, it really has. Erica, it's great to have you with us. You're going to play the game in which you have to tell truth from fiction.

Bill, what is Erica's topic? What an interesting name. It's always fun hearing how someone got their name. For instance, I was named after Peter Pan because it is traditional that I am always played on stage by a woman. Our panelists are going to tell you about the unusual origins of a name in the news. Pick the one who's telling the truth and you'll win theweighter of your choice in your voicemail. Are you ready to play? I'm ready. Okay. First up, let's hear from Karen Chee.

The wildest thing about Dr. Aristotle Onassis III, he's not related to Aristotle Onassis II or I. No, Dr. Onassis is actually the son of Jack and Betty Ball of Columbus, Ohio. His parents were both deep in debt when he was born, so they slyly named him Aristotle Onassis III in hopes that the state would think him the heir apparent of the Onassis fortune. Sounds very smart, but also very dumb. As you might have expected, the state caught on immediately and as punishment did not allow the parents to further change his name. Which meant his full legal name was Aristotle Onassis the Third

Ball. Luckily though, young Aristotle turned out to be quite brilliant and eventually became the head surgeon of a regional hospital. Very lucrative stuff. Thanks to him, his parents now not only have a summer home, but also a winter home, as well as a normal one for spring and fall.

The whole story sounds like a happy ending, but unfortunately, because of his name, everyone now accuses him of nepotism. Aristotle Onassis III, named that way by his parents in the vain hope he might inherit your next name explained. It comes from Maz Jobrani. In the city of Nicosia, in the country of Cyprus,

tradition goes that a newborn child is to be named by the father of the mother giving birth. The way it works is that the first words that come out of the mouth of the grandfather in the baby's presence is the name the child must take or it will bring many years of bad luck to the child and the entire family. So, of course, grandparents consider their words carefully and make sure not to make any sound before they announce the name.

And so it went last week when a grandfather named Andreas Leonidas was rushed awake from his nap at home and whisked into the hospital room where his new grandson had just been born. In his dash to get to the baby naming ceremony, Andreas didn't even have time to put on his shoes. So when he entered the hospital room where the entire family awaited him in heightened anticipation, he stubbed his toe on the corner of the bed and unintentionally yelled, my toe! After the family was done moaning and groaning, they had to accept the newest member of their family,

Maito Leonidas. Maito. A young man named in Cyprus because of a tradition they had to obey. Your last story of an Appalachian's origin comes from Jesse Klein. It's not just celebrities and whatever Elon Musk is giving their babies weird names. Last week, an Australian journalist, Kirsten Drysdale, literally tested the limits of what's acceptable in a baby name

when she named her newborn son Methamphetamine Rules. Drysdale, who hosts a show called What the FAQ, which I think is supposed to be pronounced what the fac as a little joke, LOL, was testing the government in New South Wales, which says it will not approve a name if it is, quote, offensive and not in the public interest. So Drysdale assumed methamphetamine rules would obviously not be allowed. But surprisingly, it slipped through what seemed to be some very wide cracks in the New South Wales Births, Deaths, and Marriages Department. Are all these people on drugs? What the fact? Just kidding. So now she and her husband are the proud parents of Methamphetamine Rules Drysdale, even though she says, quote,

he is a very chill child, a beautiful baby boy, so not anything like a meth user, unquote. All right. So, as I said, this week we found about a person out there who has an unusual name with an interesting origin. Was it from Karen Chee, Aristotle Onassis III, no relation, from Maz Jobrani, Maito, a little baby named after his grandfather's exclamation in Cyprus, or from Jesse Klein, Methhamphetamine rules dries down. Named as a test of the bureaucracy, which the bureaucracy failed. I am definitely going with Jesse's story.

You're going to go with Jesse's story of a little baby named methamphetamine rules. Unfortunately, yes. Okay. It's tragic, but it might be true. To bring you the correct answer, well, let's just listen to this. I had to frame it to the grandparents as a journalistic whoopsie, and he won't be baby meth forever. Yes, that was ABC journalist, Australian broadcasting company, Kristen Drysdale, aka Methamphetamine Rules' mom, aka Methamphetamine Rules' mom talking to the Australian program A Current Affair

about her little whoopsie. Congratulations, you got it right. Jessie, in fact, was telling the truth. You're going to point for her, which I'm sure she's very happy about, and you have won our prize. Congratulations.

Fantastic. Thank you so much. This was so much fun. It was so much fun to have you. And now the game where we ask people who can do everything worth doing to try their hands at something that isn't worth doing. It's called Not My Job. Now, these days, most people will celebrate Bob Odenkirk as an actor, but he spent most of his career as a writer, mainly of brilliant sketch comedy. But for years, he was also writing poems in collaboration with his children. And he's now published a book of those poems with illustrations by his daughter, Erin Odenkirk.

And they both join us now. Erin and Bob Odenkirk, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. So good to be here. Thank you so much. Peter, I'm knocked out. I love it. I listen to the show all the time. I absolutely love it.

And just listen to the last piece here. And my pitch for Erin's name was chocolate cake. So I should say before we get started that you are, of course, a proud member of both the WGA and SAG-AFTRA, working actor. And so as much as we may want to ask you about certain prestige television programs that you might have had something to do with in recent years, it would be against, it would be an act of, out of solidarity to talk about them. Yes, we're still walking in circles for SAG. It's the most work I've ever done as an actor.

When you couldn't write, were you like incredibly like, I want to do work. And then as soon as you can again, you're like, oh. Well, actually, it's like, I have a million ideas. Oh, this is so great. And then the strike ends and you're like, these are terrible. What was I thinking? So, let me turn to your daughter, Erin. Hello.

You are one of two children. Yes, and the dog and the cat also. Dog and the cat. And so when you were growing up, did you find your father funny? Only when he was not trying to be. Really? Only when he was angry and bitter and tired.

All other times it was hard, it was difficult. No, he was hilarious. Were you growing up and, like, did you see your father's TV shows? Did you see, like, and I don't know what your age was when it was difficult no he was hilarious were you growing up and like did you see your father's tv shows did you see like and i don't know what your age was when it was on when he was writing and performing for example in the ben stiller show or later on no no i saw none of it i the most understanding i had of it was going out to lunch in la and seeing some 30 year old white guy come up to us and be like oh my, do you know who your dad is? Do you know how funny he is?

And I'm like, no, I don't. It would always be somebody with a Mr. Show tattoo. Really? There are people out there. Super fans. You know, her brother, Ice Cream, Aaron's brother, Nate, who is here tonight and helped write this book, Zillit. Um, Nate once came to me when he was about 14 and he said, he was really looked depressed. He looked sad and he goes, dad, you're on Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul, Tim and Eric, and Mr. Show.

You're on all my favorite shows. And I thought, why does that make you so sad? And then I thought, well, imagine you're watching your favorite show, and then your dad's face shows up. I'm here! Clean up your room. We've mentioned the book a couple times. The book is, I understand, it's a book of poems for children that was illustrated by you, Aaron, quite beautifully and wonderfully, but it was written by the whole family or you and the two children?

It was essentially a family project. We would read to the kids every night before bed. And after a few years of this, I thought, hey, my name's not on any of these books. That's how I go about life. I understand. I like this show, Breaking Bad. Where's my name? But we loved a lot of great, wonderful, illustrated kids' books. And I thought, I want my kids to believe that they too could be a writer one day. And go on strike one day. Why don't we write a poem after we read our books? And I knew that some of those poems were actually pretty good, weirdly enough. But I kept them and I thought one day I'll be a grandpa and I'll rewrite these for my grandkids. And then

the wonderful pandemic happened and we were all locked in our houses. And my daughter was going to art school, Pratt, and I said, we'll rewrite a poem or two a week and you'll do a drawing. I didn't ask, I said. Summer homework. I kind of did. I've read your memoir, which I think is comedy, comedy, comedy, drama. Three comedies, then a drama.

And in that memoir, you talk about your career as a sketch writer, and you say of yourself, with a little bit of criticism of yourself, that you were pretty tough when it came to sketch writers. Were you like that with your kids' poetry? writer and you say of yourself with a little bit of criticism of yourself that you were a pretty you were pretty tough when it came to sketch writers were you like that with your kids poetry i mean come on i know you're eight but this could be better in his mind in his mind his rule his number one rule is whatever the kid says i'm writing it down right because that's what's

going to make them feel like they know they were a part of this and they are capable of being part of this right but in his mind he's going when i rewrite this it's going to sound like this get rid of that word i'm gonna punch this i'm thinking this kid is an idiot yeah i gotta talk to my agent i gotta get him out of here i gotta get a better kid in here your daughter here she's like eight she comes up a rhyme, and you're looking around the room going, hey, can we beat that? Can we beat that?

Actually, she, you asked if they thought I was funny. One time, I very well remember being silly and doing a character for my daughter and trying to get her to smile or laugh, and she wasn't giving me anything. And I finish, and she wasn't giving me anything and I finish and she goes bad it was an hour ago an hour ago she said it was an hour ago don't lie be honest come on she was like six years old wow hilarious wow Bob and Aaron, it is a pleasure to meet you, especially because I think I know who the really funny one is in the family. Good old chocolate cake.

Yeah. And we have asked you both here to be with us to play a game we're calling... Odin Kirk's meets Kirkland. You are both Odin Kirk's, kind of a brand now, but what do you know about Kirkland, the house brand at Costco? We're going to ask you three questions about that big box store. Answer two out of three Costco questions correctly, you'll win our prize for one of our listeners.

The voice of anyone they may choose in their voicemail. Bill, who are the Odin Kirk's playing for? Summer Scanlon of Sacramento, California. All right. First question. Here we go. Costco is known, of course, for its bulk groceries, a gallon of cheese sauce, 20 pounds of Fritos.

What else can you buy at Costco? A, caskets, B, shares in private jets, or C, psychedelic drugs? Oh, I actually... A, caskets. Caskets. Or C, psychedelic drugs. Oh, I actually... A, caskets. You can buy caskets, of course, you know. Giant family-sized cats. The saddest thing you ever saw.

It's economical, but they do come five to a pack. So I believe you, Bob, are choosing A, caskets. I'm joining A. You're both joining A. You are right. It is, in fact, caskets. What? And if you're wondering how you can get one even into the larger carts that they have there,

no, you order them and they will deliver them to the funeral home of your choice. Oh, thank you. You're welcome. Next question. Like I said, Costco, known for selling things in large quantities. In fact, at one time for just $6,000, you could buy which of these things in one convenient package at Costco? Was it A, 40,000 pairs of socks, B, enough food to feed a family of four for a year, or C, one swimming pool worth of crystal light? B. It's B, and it was some kind of survivalist thing is my guess. Yes, you're both right. It was B. It was called a NutriStore one-year food kit,

and it was sold to survivalists. All right, here's your last question. You guys could be perfect. Costco has succeeded in part because of its business strategy, which could be summed up which way? A, Americans will always want a bigger serving. B, disorient the customers, give them fewer choices, and make them not want to come back.

Or C, the sight of wooden pallets makes people excited to shop. For me, it's C. I feel like for the general public, we've got to go A. I'm going with A. Erin, do you concur? Actually, it was B. What? And I need to explain. Wow.

They want you to go there, have a miserable time, buy a year's supply of whatever so you don't have to come back soon. That is their business strategy. Bill, how did Erin and her dad do on our quiz? Well, you'd already won with two out of three. Congratulations! So, Bob and Erin Odenkirk's

new book, Zillet and Other Important Rhymes, is out on October 10th. Bob and Erin, thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. A pleasure to have you. A pleasure to meet you, Aaron. Give it up for the Odenkirks! In just a minute, we will

tell you where not to go in L.A. in our Listener Limerick Challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us in the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Maz Jobrani, Jesse Klein, and Karen Chee.

And here again is your host at the Greek Theater in Los Angeles, California, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thank you. Bill. In just a minute, the only place to find new limericks this side of 1953. It's the listener limerick challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, a panel of some more questions for you from the week's news. Karen, a genuine scandal in the Biden White House. a member of the family who has been misbehaving for years, and they've been covering it up. Who is it? The family dog. The family dog, Commander. This week, Commander the German Shepherd bit a Secret Service officer the 11th time he has bit someone at the White House, which we only know, this is true,

because a conservative group demanded and got the records through a public records request. So the White House could have been covering up many more incidents. For example, former press secretary Jen Psaki, she disappeared. They say she left to do a weekend show at MSNBC. But what if it's a cover-up and she was actually eaten? There's no way of knowing. I would love if we flipped the channels on the weekend and you just see the dog hosting a show on MSNBC. It is a lot of bites.

That is a lot of bites. It's like, how many bites is it? 11 incidents. It's 11 too many bites. It's 11 too of bites. It's like, how many bites is it? 11 incidents. It's 11 too many bites. It's 11 too many bites. And it seems like a little too big of a big dog for Biden. He needs a little dog.

A little tiny dog. Not a big... It's a big dog. He needs a cat. He needs a cat. A socks. Like a well-behaved socks. Or a fish. A goldfish. He needs a goldfish. He needs something that won't tug him on a leash like a goldfish. He just also seems so out of line with whatever politically you think about Joe Biden. He seems inherently like a gentle...

Grandfatherly. A grandfatherly gentle soul. It's like you know when ventriloquists have their nice,'re nice, but like the mouth on that puppet. It's like, why is this dog so bad? What's going on? Maybe that's how Biden expresses his aggression. Oh, that's good. Somebody comes up, like he's meeting with Kevin McCarthy.

Kevin McCarthy's being obnoxious. And Biden says, yeah, commander. Commander. Commander is his anger translator. Jesse, with the new iPhone just released, the Washington Post decided to print a list of the new phone etiquette rules. So what is the most important rule about leaving voicemails? Don't.

Don't ever leave a voicemail. Just don't. Just don't. Don't. Don't leave a voicemail. Nobody ever listens to them. It's crazy. If you don't listen to your voicemails, how will you know your dad butt dialed you? So in case you're curious what the new rules are, they also say that while you are not allowed to leave voicemails for people, you are allowed to record a voice memo and send

that. I think one is somebody called you, so there's already going to be a notification saying they called you, which, you know, okay. And then not only do they call you, that's a notification, and they're then talking at you. Like, I got it. You want to talk to me, just tell me what it is. By not talking to me. Also, something about a voicemail is like really cool and old. And so I think if you were trying to say something really cool and old, you should say it on a voicemail. But if you're just like, hey, do you want to get pizza tonight? You should send a voicemail. So if hey, do you want to get pizza tonight?

Yeah. Is fresh and young. Yeah. What's stale and old? Oh my god, Dewey defeated Truman. Hey, it's Peter Sagal. Check out our latest bonus episode available now.

It's another edition of the Wait, Wait, Wayback Machine. Julie, are you ready to play? Ready as I'll ever be. The game where we ask a listener questions that have appeared on our show more than 20 years ago. Documentary. A schlockumentary. Schlockumentary. So a number one movie in America. The reviewer truly hated it. Oh. You could be a contestant on a future bonus episode by signing up for Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Plus. If you've already done it, thank you so much. And

if you haven't, here's your chance. Go to plus.npr.org. Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can catch us most weeks back at the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago or come see us on the road. We will be at Carnegie Hall in New York City, December 14th and 15th,

and come see the Wait, Wait! Stand-Up Tour. That will be in Cincinnati on October 7th and Indianapolis on October 8th. For tickets and information on all of these shows, go to nprpresents.org. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hey, how's it going? Not bad. Who's this? This is Carlos from San Diego. Hey, San Diego. How are things?

Hey, things are good in San Diego, how are things? Things are good. San Diego. My sense of San Diego, whenever I visited, is that San Diego is the city in California that's much more laid back and fun than, say, more ambitious and thriving cities somewhat to the north. Is that correct? I'm going to pretend you didn't call us unambitious

and disagree with the rest of it. Yes, it's awesome here. Everybody's pretty chill. All right. Carlos, welcome to the show. Bill Curtis right here is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks,

you'll be a winner. You ready to go? Ready to go. All right. Here's your first limerick. All our smiles have wires beneath, and at night they get stored in a sheath because celebrities conquer irregular chompers we all put veneers on our teeth yeah yes these days if you if you watch you know the insta feeds all celebrities seem to have the same teeth it's not like a tooth sharing

program they're all just going to like the same veneer doctor not like a tooth-sharing program. They're all just going to the same veneer doctor. So that means people as different as, say, Selena Gomez and Kim Kardashian have the exact same mouth. That's why all the gossip magazines have side-by-side red carpet pictures and they're asking who chewed it better?

So young people are doing this? Apparently. Well, if they're a young celebrity, you need to look good. Aren't their teeth already good? Not good enough. That's the slogan of this town. Exactly. Here is your next limerick.

To India I will be heading, but no family drama I'm dreading. As the pair says, I do, I know none of the crew. I'm a tourist with ticks to their... Nuptials? Wedding. Wedding, yes! Many tourists have dreamed of attending a fabulous Indian wedding after, say, seeing a Bollywood movie. And now, thanks to a company called Join My

Wedding, you can attend a real Indian wedding while in India. For just $250, you can have the experience of going to a wedding and feeling completely out of place while pretending to be happy for the couple.

Which you can normally only get by going to any wedding. I'm doing it. You are? Yeah, I think that sounds super fun. I wish we had a join my wedding here in the U.S., then I would do that to find my husband. So it would be a program where it's like, join my wedding, join Karen's wedding,

and for just, how much would you charge? Like, not much, but $12. $12. I think you're undervaluing yourself. $15 with tax, say. Yeah, thank you. Thank you so much. You can attend Karen's wedding and actually marry.

As my plus one. Yeah. For life. Yes. All right, Carlos, here is your last limerick. It's L.A., and I'm glad that I came. But some sights here are really a shame. There is nothing refined at the corner of Vine.

Stay away from the star's walk of... Shame? Fame. Fame. You're right. The walk of fame, of course, are the stars in the sidewalk in Hollywood. The walk of shame is what they do down at 6 a.m. The Hollywood walk of fame right here in L.A., not far from where we are now,

has just been honored as the world's worst tourist attraction. That's right. Congratulations. Congratulations. They're happy this is L.A. It's an award. They're happy. This is L.A. It's an award. They like this.

Somewhere in Kansas, there's a giant ball of twine that heard this news and is thinking, suck it, Fred Astaire. They arrived at this, a travel site did, by going through reviews of tourist attractions all over the internet and sort of averaging out the scores that people gave the things they had visited and looking at the reviews, right? So, one review called the Walk of Fame grim and another said most of the stars that you see, the names on the stars, aren't actually stars. Oh, really? I guess Ed Gardner, creator of the radio hit Duffy's Tavern, isn't big enough

for you? You guys must have seen it on many an occasion. Yeah. What do you think? It's kind of like, um, you know, you get there and it's kind of like star poop, star poop, star poop. You know, there's like a lot of,

it's not, it's a little gritty. Yes. Does gritty have a star now? That's great. Bill, how did Carlos do in our quiz? Carlos did great. He got them all right with a three. Congratulations. Hey.

Well done, Carlos. Take care. Thank you so much. Take care. Thank you so much. Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Sure can. Karen and Mons each have two.

Jesse has three. Oh, my you give us the scores? Sure can. Karen and Maz each have two. Jesse has three. Oh, my goodness. All right. So, Karen and Maz, you are tied for second. Maz, arbitrarily, I'm choosing you to go first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, economists said the government shutdown would be unlikely to trigger a blank.

Recession. Yes. For the second time, the Supreme Court rejected blanks redrawn election map. Alabama. Yes. On Wednesday, seven candidates, including Nikki Haley and Mike Pence, took part in the second blank.

Republican debate. Yes. This week, for the third time, a blank outran pursuers and escaped from a veterinarian's office in Pennsylvania. Ooh, that's got to be a pig? No, a tortoise. On Wednesday, astronaut Frank Rubio returned from his record-setting tour aboard the blank.

Aboard the Starship Enterprise. No, the International Space Station. On Thursday, Michael Gambon, best known for playing blank in the Harry Potter movies, passed away at the age of 82. Dumbledore. Dumbledore, yes. This week, a woman who said, sometimes you have to fight for what you think is right,

was awarded $1,400 from an airline because the airline blanked them. They threw peanuts at her. No, they sat her next to a drooling, farting dog for the entirety of a 13-hour flight. Commander. Commander. Yeah. Bill, how did Maz do in our quiz?

He got four right, eight more points. A total of 10 puts him in the lead. All right. Now we turn to you, Karen. You are up next. Here we go. On Wednesday, a judge ruled that blank fraudulently inflated the values of his properties.

Trump. Yes. On Thursday, the governor of California signed a new tax on blank sales. Oh, um, gun sales. Guns and ammunition. Just in time for fall, this week a Colorado company announced pumpkin spice blank.

Lattice. Weed. Oh. This week, it Colorado company announced pumpkin spice blank. Lattice. Weed. Oh. This week, it was reported that tourists who get plastic surgery in South Korea have trouble flying back to their home countries because blank. The passport photo is so different. Also, Korea is awesome and they want to live there now. Yes.

I'm going to say all of that was correct. Yes, hundreds of people apparently travel to South Korea every year to take advantage of their excellent plastic surgeons, but the work is so good that they often need special certificates to prove that they are the same person in their passport photos. Now, when they get stopped, people say, oh, no worry. I've got this document proving that that's me on my phone. Let me just use my face ID to unlock it.

Oh, no. Bill, how did Karen do? You know, she did pretty good. Did she? She got three rights, six more points, total of eight. She's not in first place. First place in our hearts. All right.

How many then does Jesse need to win? One. She's 84 to win. Here we go, Jesse. This is for the game. Fill in the blanks. After claims that he had been killed in Crimea, a video showing Black Sea Fleet Commander Victor Sokolov was released by blank.

Russia? Yes. On Monday, residents of Lahaina, one of the towns ravaged by wildfires in blank, were able to return to their homes. Maui. Yes. This week, Travis King, the U.S. soldier who crossed the border into blank, was released. North Korea. Yes. On Wednesday, blank prices rose to their highest price in over a year.

Monkey. No. Are you following the monkey market? Always. Always. No. Oil prices. This week, a Philadelphia Phillies fan was denied admission to a game because he was accompanied by Wally, his emotional support blank. Alligator. Yes. On Tuesday, members of SAG-AFTRA voted in favor of a strike against blank companies. Video games? Video game companies. Yes.

Thanks to an injury, soccer superstar blank was forced to miss the U.S. Open Cup. Messy. Yes. This week, a woman in Florida gathering props for a special birthday photo shoot was caught taking blank home from her work. Bic pens. No. A live alligator.

Two alligator answers? Two alligator answers. The woman worked... Writers are on strike. The woman worked at a small wildlife park called Croc Encounters, and she snuck one of the reptiles out of the park so she could take it, so it could take part in the special birthday photo shoot she wanted to do. Presumably, she likes to do a different theme every year,

and this year's theme was forbidden from entering a Phillies game. Bill, did Jessie do well enough to win? Did she ever. She got six right, 12 more points. Yes. 15 is the champ. Congratulations. I'm thrilled.

In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict who will go on strike next. But first, let me tell you that Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord, Philip Godekar, Wrights, our limericks, our public address announcer is Paul Friedman, our tour manager is Shana Donald, BJ Liederman, composer, our theme, our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Birnbos, and Lillian King.

Special thanks to Vinnie Thomas and Monica Hickey. Peter Gwynn is our designated survivor. Emma Choi is our vibe curator. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Ourwynn is our designated survivor. Emma Choi is our vibe curator. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilock. The executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mike

Danforth. Now panel, who is going to go on strike next and why? Karen Chee. Bob Menendez, unless you give him more gold bars. Maz Jobrani. Bill Curtis, because you don't pay him enough to carry the show. And Jesse Klein.

I think next on strike is Commander, who, based on how many people he's bitten in the last four months, kind of seems like he's already on strike. Well, if any of that happens, panel, we're going to ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Karen Chee, Maz Jobrani, and Jesse Klein. Thanks to Robert Rodriguez from NPR West.

Thanks to everybody at LAist. To Susan Rosenbluth and the staff at Golden Voice. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Greek Theatre and our fabulous audience who came out to this beautiful place to share some time with us. Thanks to all of you for listening at home. I'm Peter Sagal. We'll see you next week. This is NPR.