Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - WWDTM: Chappell Roan

Episode Date: May 11, 2024

Queer pop icon Chappell Roan joins panelists Tom Papa, Brian Babylon, and Meredith Scardino to talk drag personas, the life changing magic of Ke$ha, and why her first record deal always makes her think about hot lunchLearn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

This message comes from NPR's sponsor, Organic Valley, the farmer-owned cooperative dedicated to providing ethically sourced food from small organic family farms. Discover how you can support local organic farmers at ov.coop.org. From NPR in WBEZ, Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Are you coughing and sneezing? That's me. I'm your seasonal billergees, Bill Curtis. And here is your host at the Studenbaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everyone.

Thank you all so much. We, oh man, normally I tell you to calm down, but no, we really do have a great show for you today. Later on we're going to be talking to the biggest thing in pop right now, Chappell Rhone. And I'm going to admit, see, see, I'm going to admit, last week I did not know a thing about her, but after like a solid five days of listening to her music, I am proud to say I, Peter Sagal, am officially a full-blown Chapelrone girly. If you would like to be a Wait Wait girly, call in to play our games. The number is 1-888-wait-wait.

That's 1-888-924-8924. It's time to welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, Yorwan. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Hi, I'm Elizabeth from Greensboro, North Carolina. Greensboro, North Carolina, which I know and love, even though I've never been. What do you do there? I direct a yearly international convention for modern quilters called QuiltCon. Apparently, we have some quilters called QuiltCon. Woo! Apparently we have some quilters here. So you have a yearly convention called QuiltCon. And this is, I assume, a time and place where every year the quilters from all over the world come and talk quilting.

That's right. We just had our 14th convention back in February this year. And I'm guessing the parties are insane. Well, they are definitely dressed to the nines in their quilty outfits. Right. Well, welcome to the show, Elizabeth. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, it's a comedian and fashion designer that you can see June 28th and 29th at the

Comedyplex in Oak Park, Illinois. It's the Prince of Bronzeville himself, Mr. Brian Babylon. Yes, yes. Hey. Next, he's a comedian who is performing at the Warner Theater in Washington, D.C. on the 15th of June. It's Tom Papa. Hello. And making her debut on our panel, it is the creator and show runner of Girls 5EVA,

all three fabulous seasons of which are on Netflix right now. It's Meredith Scardino. Hi. Hi. So Elizabeth, welcome to the show. You're going to play Who's Bill this time, of course. Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news.

Your job, correctly identify or explain just two of them. Do that and you will win our prize. Any voice from our show you might choose for your voicemail. Are you ready to go? I am. All right. Your first quote is from a presidential candidate talking about a minor health issue. A worm got into my brain and ate a portion of it and then died. Which presidential candidate has or I guess still has a worm in his brain? Oh, RFK Jr. Yes, RFK Jr. Robert F. Kennedy Jr., independent candidate for president, has revealed that a parasitic worm ate part of his brain

and then died in there, prompting an outpouring of well-wishes and oh, that explains it. So is that the Kennedy curse? The Kennedy curse still is going on, huh? That Kennedy curse. Oh yeah. They got cut down to the prime of life, JFK, RFK senior, and the worm. Now it's a problem for Mr. Kennedy's campaign because he has pitched himself as a younger, fitter alternative to either Donald Trump or Joe Biden, and the worm would have liked

to add, and tastier. Maybe he is kind of, you know, worms, don't they regenerate? Sometimes. That's sort of a young, it's nice to have a sort of young, thriving worm. Yeah. So, I mean, you think it's possible that, like, the worm split in half and now he's got two worms? Potentially.

I don't know. I don't know his life. Yeah. We don't know his goodness. I'm the worm man. I do like, I did read that he, the medical prognosis is keep it. Just leave it. Just don't, just leave it there. Leave it.

Leave it there. Because the one thing you don't want to do when you got a worm in your brain is make it angry. But you know, if he had just gotten that worm vaccination, this would not be an issue. True. Get that worm vaccinated. We all have it. We all have it here.

I should say that how did we find out about his worm? Why did he admit it? Because it came out in a deposition that Kennedy gave a few years ago to claim diminished earning capacity, right, during an acrimonious divorce. It's like, I can't make any money to pay you alimony. I have a worm in my brain. A lot, that's what he said, a lot of marriages, as we know sadly, ends when your spouse tells

you, honey, there's someone else. You just never think it's going to be a worm. How much of his brain did it eat? That is an interesting question. We don't know. And why did it stop eating it? It got poisoned. What's worse than a worm eating your brain? A worm taking a bite of your brain and sending it back.

All right. Your next quote is from the judge at Donald Trump's trial this week after testimony from a key witness. There are some things that would have been better left unsaid. So Judge Juan Merchand was talking about what star witness? Stormy Daniels. Stormy Daniels, yes. Ms. Daniels began by swearing to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the

truth. Then she started talking and the judge was like, good Lord, lady, maybe not the whole truth. Then she started talking and the judge was like, good Lord, lady, maybe not the whole truth. She was testifying about, of course, her fateful meeting with Donald Trump many years ago and she provided details. In fact, I did not know until this week that the judge himself can make an objection. And that happened. The judge said, I object to this, TMI, legal term.

Were you guys grude to the testimony? The creepiest detail, it was one of those weird things where like, oh, it's so disgusting and you're like, oh yeah, that's how it's had, what was it? The most disturbing part to me is that when she came, he asked her up to his room and he opened the door in silk pajamas. Yes. Ugh.

Like you're going on a trip and you're packing that. After everything we heard about that night, the thing that you found most offensive was the silk pajamas. That was the most offensive. I travel a lot. I'm on the road all the time if you're packing that you're a special kind of cringe he told someone to pack them for him he doesn't pack he told someone do that they were like this

guy right so I guess know, since of course Trump had said it never happened, now you can understand why she decided to go into details in describing what happened. But why did the courtroom artist have to draw all of it? The whole description sounds so cliche, old-timey rich man sex, like boxers. Yeah.

You know, black socks pulled up with the little suspender things on the socks. If you're Thurston Howell and you put on silk pajamas, this is the kind of sex you have. Like Montgomery Burns, love making edits at worst. Alright, Elizabeth, we have one more quote for you. Here it is. Come on, kids, let's grab drinks. That was the New York Times talking about how children are increasing the ones who are ordering what on upscale restaurant menus? Oh, I read this. Non-alcoholic drinks.

Yes, mocktails, non-alcoholic drinks. Very good. As more and more restaurants are putting these fancy non-alcoholic drinks in the menu. More and more children are ordering them to the consternation of the bartenders. They are not for kids. They're for adults who do not drink alcohol but want the thrill of paying $17 for juice. This sounds like some stuff that kids in Brooklyn would do. Ain't no kid in Applebee's in Arkansas ordering non-alcoholic drinks. This sounds like some Brooklyn Kid boss baby energy. Hipster babies.

Hipster babies. Yeah. Walking around with like a Twizzlers pretending it's a cigarette. It's got to be real upsetting for these bartenders, though, because they're, like you said, Brooklyn bartenders. And they're all old timey. And they're mixing it up and thinking they're cool.

Yeah, mixologists. And then a little kid orders it. And it's're cool. Mixologists. Yeah, mixologists. And then a little kid orders it and he's just got to make him so angry he just starts twirling into his mustache. Yeah. And kids don't tip either. That's another thing. Yeah, they don't even have money.

Right. Why are we serving them anyway? Who are these kids? Get them out of here. Lay it in cocktail bars. Bill, how did Elizabeth do on our quiz? What a courageous woman. She sat there and took it through that whole quiz

and hit three home runs. Congratulations. Woo! Well done, Elizabeth. Thank you so much for playing, and good luck with next year's Quiltcom. Thanks. Drink up if you're drinking.

Drink up if you're drinking, boy. Tell me what you're wishing. Everybody's spreading joy. Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Tom? Yes? An airline story went viral on TikTok this week when one passenger lied and cheated, was caught lying and cheating in the most important airline passenger negotiation.

What? Lied to who? Lied to another passenger. Oh, to another passenger. the most important airline passenger negotiation. What? Lied to who? Lied to another passenger. Oh, to another passenger. Yes. Lied to the passenger about not being able to move their seat, trade seats with them. Exactly right.

He lied about trading seats, but that's not what he did. So on this flight, as somebody documented it, a father asked this other man to switch seats with him so the first guy could sit with his children and he offered his own aisle seat in return and the very nice man said, oh, of course you can sit with your children. Got up and went back and found out it was a middle seat. He lied. The dad lied.

And unfortunately, it just so happens this was not a Boeing aircraft, so there was not an available hole to throw him out of. This video being put up led to outrage, of course, but then also a wide ranging discussion of the etiquette of seat swapping. So what if you're sitting there, you're very happy, and somebody's like, oh, would you excuse me because I'd love to sit next to my wife or whatever, but you really don't want to

move. What do you do then? Oh, I don't speak English. I'm the best no English person. Coming up, our panelists lose big. It's our Bluff the Listener game called 1-888-WaitWaitToPlay. We'll be back in a minute with more of WaitWaitDon'tTellMe from NPR. This is my voice.

It can tell you a lot about me. And I'm not changing it for anyone. In NPR's Black Stories, Black Truths, you'll find a collection of NPR episodes centered on black experiences. Search NPR Black Stories, Black Truths, wherever you get your podcasts. It's a high stakes election year, so it's not enough to just follow along.

You need to understand what's happening so you are fully informed come November. Every weekday on the NPR Politics Podcast, our political reporters break down important stories and backstories from the campaign trail so you understand why it matters to you. Listen to the NPR Politics Podcast wherever you get your podcasts. What does it mean to be black in America? In NPR's Black Stories, Black Truths, a collection of stories as varied, nuanced and dynamic as black experiences, you'll hear it means everything.

Search NPR Black Stories, Black Truths wherever you get your podcast. Listening to the news can feel like a journey, but the 1A podcast guides you beyond the headlines and cuts through the noise. Listen to 1A where we celebrate your freedom to listen by getting to the heart of the story together, only from NPR. together only from NPR. From NPR in WBEZ Chicago this is wait wait don't tell me the NPR News Quiz I'm Bill Curtis we are playing this week with Tom Papa Brian Babylon and Meredith Scardino

and here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Segel. Thank you, Bill. Right now it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WaitWait to play our game on the air or check out the pinned post on our Instagram page at WaitWaitNPR. Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Hi, Peter. I'm Ellen from Quorum Montana. Quorum Montana? I don't know there. Where is that exactly in Montana? We're about eight miles south of the west entrance of Glacier National Park. Oh, I have been to that area. It is fantastically beautiful. What do you do there? I am a retail operations manager and buyer for the gift shops around the park. No! Can I ask you, because I wonder this whenever I see this, what's like the most popular tchotchke right now and does it change? I mean the most popular thing is the stupid t-shirt. It says what doesn't kill you makes you stronger except for bears. Bears will kill you. I don't know that strikes strikes me as pretty wise advice.

Well, Megan, welcome to our show. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Megan's topic? How we lost the big game. There's all kinds of ways to lose big in sports, a bad play, an injury, fan duel. This week we heard a surprising way that somebody lost a very important match. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the real one and you'll win the weight-weighter of your choice in your voicemail. Are you

ready to play? I sure am. Okay, first let's hear from Brian Babylon. When the annual Hamptons elite cricket match coincided with billions of cicadas coming out of the ground, many people urged them to cancel the event. But the game between the East Hampton Wickets and the Liverpool Spinners was expected to draw a large crowd of enthusiasts, so the Wickets team chef had a great idea to make the most of the historic bug infestation, cicada smoothies. According to experts, drinking cicadas can give you cicada brain, which was immediately apparent as the wicked

players begin their pregame warm-ups. They were running in erratic patterns, doing Bob Fosse dance moves, chasing imaginary cricket balls, and screaming. So much screaming. The wickets had to forfeit the match and the day turned into an impromptu insect awareness seminar as entomologists in attendance took the opportunity to educate the crowd about cicadas and their life cycle. It's important to respect all creatures and maybe not blend them into smoothies. Cicada smoothies ruins a cricket team's performance. Your next loser legacy comes from Meredith Scardino.

The first annual Calum Vale cheerleading invitational in Brisbane, Australia. Maybe it's last after organizers built the competition area too close to a flock of magpies. Territorial magpies nesting in nearby trees, quote, squawked, rattled, and dropped sticks whenever cheerleading pyramids breached three tiers. It created an atmosphere of fear when it should have just been fun, said one participant whose clip on braid had been taken. At least two teams dropped out while others took precautions and performed in bike helmets.

But Sydney cheer won. The squad heavily favored to win, took matters into their own hands, throwing rocks, sneakers and pom poms at the birds in an attempt to scare them off. It seemed to work until Sydney's final stunt, which culminated on stage, and five girls, eight feet in the air waving sequined flags that were silver, then beaks rained down from the sky, and they lost.

A cheerleading team attacked by a flog of madpies, they enraged. Your last story, Cruisin' for a Luzin, comes from Tom Papa. When a soccer team is trying to get to the playoffs, it needs a lot of things. One of the things it doesn't need is some rich guy buying his way onto the team and running around like a rich guy who bought his way onto the team. That's what Paris Hilton's brother-in-law, 45-year-old Courtney Reum, did. He had always wanted to be a professional soccer player, but when he realized he didn't

have enough talent, skill, or natural-born gifts, he replaced all of that with money. As part of a six-figure deal, Reum insisted he'd get to play in a real game with real stakes. And when the team was down one goal in their final game, he entered the game and they lost. Relegating the team to a lower league for next season. When Riam will most likely be buying his way onto a submersible. All right, these are your choices. Somebody managed to lose a game or a match in an interesting way. Was it from Brian Babel on a cricket team who was sabotaged by a chef who decided to make

everybody cicada smoothies to celebrate those cicadas arrival? Was it from Meredith Scardino, a cheerleading team that lost their competition in Australia because they provoked a flock of magpies nearby, or from Tom Papa, a professional soccer team in Portugal that lost because they took a rich guy's money to let him play during the key moments. Which of these is the real story of an unexpected loss in the news? I think I have to go with Tom's story about the rich guy. So you're going to go with Tom's story about the rich guy, Tyrus Hulton's brother-in-law, nonetheless,

who bought his way onto a Portuguese soccer team and ruined everything. All right, well, to bring you the real story, we spoke to the reporter who covered it. Courtney is a 45-year-old venture capitalist and about two years ago got the idea that he would like to play in a big-time game. That was David Marino-Natchezon, the reporter who broke this story to the Wall Street Journal. Congratulations, Megan, you got it right.

You earned a point for Tom. You've won our prize, the voice of your choice on your voicemail. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you so much for playing with us today. You earned a point for Tom. You've won our prize the voice of your choice on your voicemail. Congratulations Thank you so much for playing with us today Thanks for having me. Thank you and save a t-shirt for me the next time I come by take care. Bye. Bye And now the game we call Not My Job. Kaylee Rose Amstutz was a teenager who became a local celebrity in her hometown in Missouri, singing her songs at festivals and on YouTube.

But then Kaylee created the persona of Chappell Rhone and Chappell Rhone's first album, The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess, became a monster hit and now she's become one of the biggest pop stars around. Chappell Roan, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you. You're welcome. I'm a crazy intro. It is.

I mean, is it not true? I mean, you're pretty big. I guess. You're pretty big time, Chappell. I'm like a random girl. I don't feel like any of the things that you said. Okay. All right.

So, off-putting that you said my full name. You're pretty big-time Chapel. I I'm like a random girl. I don't feel like any of the things. Okay All right, so well holding that you said my full name. Oh, I'm sorry No more of that. No more of that. We should not Well, well I won't mention that name But the story I told I hope is true that you were performing under your own name and then you became Chapel Rome And can you tell me, well, can you tell me why, like who is Chapel and how is she different from that other person who I won't name?

I mean, Chapel is just the drag version of me, I would say. She's quite outgoing and has no issue being loud and proud. It's quite exhausting, to be honest. So. Really? Who are we talking to right now? Like who is it? Just so we know, who is it? I'm gonna say 6040.

6040. 6040. 6040. So like when you're done being chapel for the day until some dumb radio show wants to talk to you about it, what do you do? Do you just like change your clothes? Do you put chapel away? Is there like a ritual you do just to say, okay, I'm not chapel anymore?

How do you keep it separate if it's so exhausting to be chapel? Yeah, I just scream into my pillow and then take off all my makeup and watch Drag Race. Yeah, sure. But other people do drag for a while. Can you, did you have to come out as Chappell to the people who knew you? Because you were very young when Chappell first sort of was conjured up, right? Well, I thankfully wasn't very successful as Kaylee Rose, so nobody really knew the difference to be honest. And I stuck pretty quickly.

Were you inspired by anybody? Well, let me ask you about your musical influences. Who were you listening to as a kid when you started to make your own music? I was listening to Christian rock music only. And I found Kesha. And I was like, oh my God. Okay, all right, so you said you were listening to Christian Rock exclusively, and then, and then like, how did you come across Kesha?

At school. Right. People were talking about it. Right. They're singing, I was in seventh or eighth grade and all these girls were like Like they're like, oh, do you know this song blow by Kesha? And I was like, no, what is it? And they're like Like oh, holy Holy crap like that Nice save there and I saved it Nice save there. Nice save there, Chappell. Yeah, yeah. Wow. And like, is that when it all, your brain sort of went into like, I feel like it was like going in, when Dorothy lands in Oz and it's in color, right? You sort of saw the world differently? Yeah, it was like glitter and like freaking stockings ripped up the sides. Like just, it's just insane.

I loved it so much. We heard a great story that when you signed your first record contract, they announced it at your high school over the PA. Yeah. That's true. Do you remember? Were you there? Were you listening when they said it?

Yep. What did they say? Well, first they said, like, there's like a senior football player that got signed to Mizzou, which is in Missouri. It's like, Missouri University. They're like, congratulations, Forrest, just signed to Mizzou. F1 football, la la.

And everyone was like, woo. And they're like, oh, yeah, congratulations, Kaylee Amsets, signed with Atlantic Records. We are having pizza for lunch today. And ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha lying, which is valid. There's a video for one of your songs, Hut to Go, which I love. Again. And in that video, Chapel goes back to Missouri in Springfield, and it opens with you teaching

the Hut to Go dance to your grandparents. And I have two questions, which is, first, how did they do with the dance? And secondly, what has your hometown, like, felt about Chapel now that you've gone pretty big? I mean, you're playing Coachella, you're opening for Olivia Rodrigo, this is... My grandparents did their best. My grandparents did their best. And then my hometown, my hometown, I was prepared to be run out of town because, I don't know, it's pretty wild what I'm bringing to the table, but it has brought out all these queer people and like people I've never met or seen and to come to my shows and it's made me appreciate my hometown

so much more and realize like oh my god they were here this whole time I just didn't know. You refer to Chapel as drag and you love drag performers. In fact, many of your shows open with drag performers, right? Have you ever had the thrill of seeing a drag performer, hopefully a good one, do one of your songs, like lip sync to you? Well, I love bad drag, first of all. OK. There's no bad drag.

There's good drag, bad drag. It's all great. I've never seen someone in person do it, but I've seen videos and they're always, I mean, they serve. They're incredible. Right. Well, Chapel Rhone, it is absolutely a thrill to talk to you, but we have some business to do.

We've asked you here to play a game that this time we're calling Hot Food to Go. So one of your big hits is Hot to Go, which inspired us to ask you about takeout food. Answer two to three questions about takeout and to win our prize for one of our listeners, the voice of anyone they might like from our show. Bill, who is Chapel Rowan playing for? Ten-year-old Gordon Draper of Des Moines, Iowa. Okay. So you're playing for a ten-year-old. That's unusual. That's unusual for us. Here we go. Here's your first question. Food carts, of course, a great way to get food to go. Which of these is a real food cart you can get food from somewhere in the world? Was it A, cicada burrata, which shows up whenever a cicada brood emerges and serves them deep-fried with, of course, cheese?

B, kitchen of the unwanted animal in Amsterdam, a cart that exclusively serves stew made from geese killed by cars? Or C, sewer softies, which serves soft ice cream through a sewer grate below the curb on Yamhill Street in Portland, Oregon? I think B is real. Your fans here think it's B. I think it's B. It is B. Everybody's right. And they say it's pretty good goose stew. So if you're next time in Amsterdam, stop by.

Your next question, you're doing great. Plenty of fast food lovers dream of trying the options from other countries, including those served in Scotland, where something called the munchy box is a popular takeout item. What is a munchy box? A, it's the Scottish equivalent of a happy meal, except instead of a toy, kids get a side of haggis.

B, it's a single box stuffed with kebabs, fried chicken, a whole pizza, chicken pika masala, samosas, onion rings, chow mein noodles, naan bread, garlic bread, and for the health conscious coleslaw. Or C, the munchie box is something we are not allowed to say on NPR B? B is right! It's everything you've ever wanted to eat at once. All right last question. American fast food restaurants are banned in Iran but business owners in that country have found a workaround. They just create restaurants with similar menus and names,

but they're changed slightly. So which of these is a real ripoff of a American fast food restaurant they've got in Iran? A, Mash Donald's. B, Pizza Hat. Or C, KFD. What does a D stand for? I have. KFD?

KFD. Oh my God. B? B, you're gonna go for B? You're right, they're all real. They're all real. They're all real. They're all real. They're all restaurants you can go to in Iran.

Pizza hat. Pizza hat. Let's go down to pizza hat and get a pizza. That's what they have. Bill, how did Chapel Rohn do on our quiz? Brilliant. She's gone to the top of the Michelin list. Chapel, congratulations.

You got them all right. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank congratulations. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. So, Chapel Rome's new single is Good Luck Babe. Her album.

Her album is The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess. You can catch her on tour now. Chapel Rome, what an absolute joy to meet you. Thank you for everything you've done and everything you're gonna do. And thanks for on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Give it up for Chapel. In just a minute, how to make a mountain disappear. It's our listener limerick challenge. Call 1-triple-8-wait-wait to join us on the air. We'll be back in a

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there's no turning back for me. Take NPR's Body Electric Challenge. Listen to the series wherever you get your podcasts. Last year, over 20,000 people joined the Body Electric study to change their sedentary screen-filled lives. And guess what? We saw amazing effects. Now you can try NPR's Body Electric challenge yourself. Listen to updated and new episodes wherever you get your podcasts.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is, wait, wait, don't tell me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Brian Babylon, Tom Papa, and Meredith Scardino. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. In just a minute, Bill finds out how many limericks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll pop. It's our Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call, 1-888-888-9248-924.

But right now, I'll handle some more questions for you from the week's news. Meredith, this week, the Washington Post offered advice for parents trying to talk to their adult kids about what big change. Perimenopause. No. Although clearly, that notion has some support among our demographic. Okay. Not that. I some support among our demographic. Okay. Not that.

I'll give you a hint. The parents are like, oh, I'm sorry, honey. I know it's painful, but I just don't think we need your princess diaries to post her on the wall anymore. A big change. Oh, their room is turned into a gym or an office. Yeah, exactly. Taking their childhood room away.

That's the problem. Many young adults feel hurt when they come back for, say, the holidays and their old room is filled with their parents' stuff. One woman told the Washington Post she was furious to find her dad's suits in her closet. Well, it could have been worse. It could have been his whips. So talking to your adult children about making their teenage hellhole into a usable space is hard, but according to therapists, you just need to have an open conversation with

your kids like, this is my house. You don't live here anymore. Right. We don't love you. I didn't have this problem because my house burned down. Don't be sad. But when I was 25, and the craziest thing was the local fire department had a website, and I'm so mad I do not have a screenshot of this,

but it was fire of the month. No! What an honor! Yes. Fire of the month! Fire of the month. Fire the month. And there were firefighters posing in front of it. I mean, they also put it out.

Did they take the picture before they put it out? Like, Phil, no, wait, that's a beautiful fire right there. I mean, it's a pride in the job. But I just can't, it's one of my greatest regrets in life. Wow, the arsonist must have been so proud. Yes, I know. Brian, the company that makes Swiss Army knives has announced a new version of the Swiss Army Knife. This one has every tool you might need, but know what?

No knife. No knife, that's right. Victorinox announced that to combat the, quote, plague of knife crime, unquote. Is this in London or something? I believe this is in Europe, yes. They will be making a new line of bladeless Swiss Army knives. Wait for the terrible news that someone has been randomly tweezered to death. They love a good shankin' over there.

They do, they do. The online reviews of this new item will not be good. I bought this knife specifically to do a stabbing. Total waste of money. European crime is so annoying because when you get there, it's all about pickpockets that'll Oliver Twist punk ass crime. You know what I'm saying? Here in America, we will punch you and take your stuff, right?

In America, they're like sleight of hand and fingers. Mm-hmm. Mm. Rob me like a man, bro. I'm on holiday. I want to feel something. Rob me in this train station. The whole thing is ridiculous, because who actually uses a Swiss army knife as a weapon? Who are you murdering, some twine?

Because you're like, hold on a second. Then you get the money, take the tooth book out. Yeah. See you next time, fella. Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can catch us most weeks here at the Studebaker Theater in downtown Chicago or come see us on the road. Grease up your streetlights because we will be returning to the legendary Mann

Center in Philadelphia on June 27th. For tickets and information for all of our live shows, go to nprpresents.org. Hi, Aaron. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Hi, this is Chris Bessel from Chicago. Hey, Chris. How are you? I'm great, thanks. What do you do here in Chicago, the greatest city in the world? I am the chief of staff to a CEO.

Okay. Can you say more or will he have you killed? I'm pretty sure I signed an NDA at some point. I'm pretty sure. Right, right, chief of staff. So that means you do this person's schedule and bring them their... I don't know. What do you do for them? A lot of smiling and nodding and telling the emperor he's wearing no clothes, right? Does the emperor listen to this radio show? Luckily, no, he's in Europe. There you go. I'm safe. You're safe. All right. Well, welcome to he's in Europe. There you go. I'm safe. You're safe.

All right. Well, welcome to the show, Chris. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly, and two of the limericks will be a big winner. Ready to go? I'm ready.

Here's your first limerick. My attention new websites will grab. At the plus with my mouse, I will jab. Most people say, Yowza, go check out that browser as I open my 8,000th. Tab. Yeah, a woman is in the news after sharing a picture of her computer browser bragging that she always has around 7,500 tabs open. Ironically, at least half of them are just Google searches for why computer running slow.

As far as we can tell, no one's ever really done the research. 7,500 is the world record for the amount of tabs open on a browser. On an iPhone, the record is still however many tabs your mom had the last time you looked at her phone. It is weird that this digital stuff actually has like a physical effect. Like you ever go through your inbox and really cull it out and get down to like 20? No. Oh, you should do it.

It's like an enema. What's most shocking is the woman said that her browser crashed and she was able to relaunch all of the tabs. And you're like, you were given a chance at a new life and you refused it. She has a disorder, man. That's some type of disorder. Like Adderall might help, but it might not. So it's like the worm made a very specific part of it.

Yeah. The worms are being targeted. All right, here is your next limerick. I'm retired, and yet I still grouse. We have money, our health, a nice house. But we're always at home, together, alone. I don't know what to do with my spouse. Spouse, yes.

The New York Times Magazine profiled retired couples who are struggling now that they actually have to spend all of their time together. It's right there in the vows though, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, for three hours a day max. It makes sense. You're used to having the house to yourself all day, right? Now all of a sudden there's this another person in your space seeing what garbage you eat all day and constantly trying to make you watch funny Instagram videos.

So they don't like being together? Yeah. So they've had all this distraction in their life and now it's gotten smaller and they retire. They come back and they're just looking at each other. Yeah, yeah, pretty much. I thought couples were like how you see in those pharmaceutical commercials. Just happy, doing activities, at your vacations. Older couples.

Throwing footballs and tires, that's what we all love. Yeah, like, they might have some pills to take, but they're happy taking those pills. You think if you got all the way to retirement, you'd feel like you like that person? Yeah, but of course the thing is you have liked that person because you don't have to see them every day. Yeah, you might like them but not love them. New kids you just bring in at that point just to kind of help get you to death. That'd be a good service.

We're your new family now. We're the surly 14-year-olds that you have to deal with. Adopt me. How can we not grip? All right. Here is your last limerick. From our town, Great Mount Fuji is seed, but the tourists are rude, loud, and mean. This curtain will do to get rid of that crew. We are blocking the view

with a screen. Yes, a screen. A Japanese town famous and popular for its views of Mount Fuji has installed a giant screen to purposefully block that view. Because the town is tired of rude tourists filling up the street, taking pictures of themselves with Mount Fuji, also the town does not just want to be known for its looks. Hey, my history museum is down here. Eyes up here. Not smart especially in Japan because that's where Godzilla lives. Yeah and everyone else is gonna be on high alert and they're

gonna they're gonna know to run and then those people in that town the big foot is gonna land right on them. Like Godzilla comes over Mount Fuji and people like I don't see it. Bill how did Chris do in our quiz? Great. Three in a row. All right. Congratulations. Thank you. That's awesome. Music

In this country, some truths aren't self-evident. In NPR's Black Stories, Black Truths, a collection of stories as wide-ranging and real as the people who tell them, we celebrate the Black experience for all its soul and richness. Search NPR Black Stories, Black Truths, wherever you get podcasts. What does it mean to be Black in America? In NPR's Black Stories, Black Truths, a collection of stories as varied, nuanced, and dynamic as the Black experience, you'll hear it means everything. Search NPR Black Stories, Black Truths, wherever you get your podcasts. it means everything. Search NPR Black Stories Black Truths

wherever you get your podcasts. When voters talk during an election season, we listen. We ask questions, we follow up, and we bring you along to hear what we learned. Get closer to the issues, the people, and your vote at the NPR Elections Hub. Visit npr.org slash elections. Now onto our final game, lightning fill in the blank.

Each of our panelists will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Well, they're high scorers. Meredith has five, Brian has three, Tom has four. All right. That means Brian, you're in third place. You're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the U.S. would stop providing weapons to blank if they went ahead and invaded the city of Rafa. Israel?

Yes. On Tuesday, Judge Eileen Kennan postponed blanks classified documents trial indefinitely. Donald Trump? Yes. At his annual shareholder meeting, Warren Buffett compared the risk of blank to nuclear weapons. Electing Donald Trump? No.

Donald Trump is a nuclear weapon. He's a nuclear weapon. He's a nuclear weapon. He's a nuclear weapon. He's a nuclear weapon. He's a nuclear weapon. He's a nuclear weapon. He's shareholder meeting, Warren Buffett compared the risk of blank to nuclear weapons. Electing Donald Trump?

No, artificial intelligence this week. Qantas Airlines settled a $79 million lawsuit over their policy of selling tickets for blank. I don't know, dogs? No, for flights that had already been canceled on Wednesday. Denver Nugget star Nikola Jokic was named the blank of the 2024 season. MVP. Yes.

On Tuesday, Disney received final approval for a massive expansion of their blank theme park. Disneyland? Yes. This week, visitors to a zoo in China were disappointed after they got tickets to a panda exhibit only discovered if the zoo had blanked. They were dogs that identified as pandas? No.

Well, I'm going to give it to you because they were dogs that have been painted to look like pandas. The zoo couldn't secure any actual pandas but they had already sold tickets so they did the next best thing. They painted some chow chows black and white and hoped nobody would notice. That said, the zoo totally tipped their ham when the person leading the tour said, these are our pandas, Linlin and Rover. Bill, how did Brian do in our quiz? Five right, ten more points, total of 13 is the lead. Nice.

Not good enough. All right, Tom, you're up next. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, social media app Blank sued to block a U.S. law that could lead to a ban. TikTok. Right. According to a new report, without congressional action, Blank will runank sued to block a U.S. law that could lead to a ban. Tick-tock. Right. According to a new report, without congressional action, Blank will run out of funding by 2035. Social Security.

Right. On Tuesday, rescue workers concluded the weeks-long recovery operation following the collapse of the Key Bridge in Blank. In Baltimore. Right. This week, Sonic Drive-In premiered a new item on its secret menu, Dr. Pepper with Blank. Dr. Pepper with blank. Dr. Pepper with lemonade.

With pickles. Thanks to his beef with Drake, blank's streaming numbers are up over 50%. Kendrick Lamar. Right. Thanks to his beef with Kendrick Lamar, blank's streaming numbers dropped 5%. Drake.

Right. A little girl's birthday party at a Seattle zoo was ruined when they saw a bear eat blank. When they saw a bear eat its duty. No, when they saw a bear eat a family of ducklings who had wandered into the bear's enclosure. In a viral video shared by the birthday girl's mother, you can hear children screaming as they watch a brown bear eat a family of ducklings one by one inside of the bear's enclosure. One girl is heard to cry, that's not nice, mommy.

Hey, you know what else isn't nice? Starvation. It's the circle of life, Becca. Happy birthday. Just eating them one at a time? One at a time. The thing about ducklings is they always follow the next one. They're just getting in line.

I guess that's what's happening to me. Oh. Bill, how did Tom do in our quiz? Five right, ten more points. He's in the lead with 14. Yeah. Good job, Worm. Good job. Bill, how many does Meredith need to win?

Meredith needs five to win. All right. Ready for this, Meredith? Sure. Here we go. This is for the game, fill in the blank. On Wednesday, the House voted against efforts to oust Blank as speaker. Oh, the speaker, that guy.

He looks like my friend Michael Komen. I always forget his name. It's Mike Johnson. Mike Johnson, yeah, I guess. On Tuesday, the president of the blanks announced they were changing the organization's name to Scouting America. Boy Scouts. Yes.

This week a man at an airport in Florida was stopped by the TSA after attempting to get through security with blank in his pants. Snakes. Yes, two of them. According to a new study, ultra-processed foods are linked to an early blank risk. Dementia? Oh, no, actually death. Death is the answer.

On Monday, planters announced a recall of blanks potentially contaminated with Listeria. Peanuts. Yes, this week a Cybertruck owner broke his finger while filming a video that was trying to prove blank. That he was cool. No, he broke his finger trying to prove the Cybertruck won't break your fingers. Tired of people saying the Cybertruck is a safety hazard, YouTuber Joe Fay decided to prove everybody wrong.

He filmed himself closing the hood on his own finger, promptly breaking it. Tesla says they are unable to fix the problem because now the truck has a taste for human flesh. Bill, did Meredith do well enough to win? Well, she got three right, six more points, 11 means Tom is the winner this week. Tom! In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict after the one in RFK Jr.'s brain, what would be the next worm to make the news? But first, let me tell you that

Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug, Berman, Benevolent, Overlord. Philip Gotica writes our limericks, our public address announcer is Paul Friedman, our tour manager is Shayna Donald, thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theater. BJ Liederman composed our theme,

our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Monica Hickey and Blythe Robertson. Daddy's little helper is Peter Gwynn. Emma Choi is our vibe curator. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Her CFO is Colin Miller.

Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilag. And the executive producer of What We Don't Tell Me is Michael Danforth. Now panel, what will be the next worm in the news? Tom Papa. A worm that magically takes the shape of missing airplane parts called Boeing worm.

Brian Babylon. Tape worms will replace Ozempic as the new diet craze. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. And Meredith Scardino. I mean, the worm operating Tom Papa that got him to win this week. Ooh. Good job, worm. Papa worm.

Well, if any of that happens, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Bill Curtis, thanks also to Tom Papa, Brian Babelon, and Meredith Scardino. Thanks to all of you for listening, and thanks to our fabulous audience here at the Studer Baker Theater. We'll see you next week! This is NPR. This message comes from NPR sponsor Organic Valley, a co-op of small organic family farms like Stony Pond Farm, where Tyler Webb and his family consider the earth, the animals, and the community in the stewardship of their farm. This is Electra who's wandered up the lane to say hi. She is very curious.

She's probably the most curious cow that we have. Every one of those cows all has their own sort of unique attribute. They're such peaceful docile creatures, you know, and I say that that's my job is to wake up in this beautiful place every day and wander around and try to figure out how to make it better. Better for my cows, better for the land, better for the community, the overall ecology. And it's that stewardship which evolves from that patient observation, I think. Why is everyone so obsessed with traditional wives or tradwives on social media? This week, we're talking about the viral videos of women making marshmallows and mozzarella from scratch,

and how behind the sheen of calm kitchens and cute fits, there's some interesting pessimism about our modern world. And that's worth digging into. Next time on It's Been a Minute from NPR.