Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - WWDTM: Christian McBride
Episode Date: June 29, 2024This week, we're live in Philly with jazz legend Christian McBride. He talks about the secret power all bassists possess and translates Philly slang for panelists Peter Grosz, Joyelle Nicole Johnson, ...and Dulcé Sloan.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy
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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait,, wait, don't tell me, the NPR News Quiz.
I'm the voice as smooth as my co-host's head.
Bill Curtis.
And here is your host at the TD Pavilion, the man in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Peter
Seger. Thank you, everybody. Thank you. at the TD Pavilion at the Man in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Peter Sagan.
Thank you, everybody.
Thank you.
We are delighted to be back in Philadelphia.
Later on, we're going to be talking to one
of its famous native sons, jazz legend Christian McBride.
But first, I got to gotta say this city has changed. It is no
longer the famously belligerent place it used to be and there's one reason. Its
sports teams are good now.
Just the other day we saw a bunch of happy Phillies fans politely offering a selection
of batteries to the opposing players.
So don't worry about being booed when you call in to play our games.
The number is 1-888-WAITWAIT.
That's 1-888-9248-924.
Now let's welcome our first listener contestant.
Hi, you're on Wait Wait Don't Tell Me.
Hi, this is Nina in Brooklyn, New York.
Hey, Nina, how are things in Brooklyn?
Is that a boo?
Yes!
It's Philadelphian.
You knew what you were getting into, Nina,
when you called.
Brooklyn's in the house, Nina.
Nina, just say you're from Philly.
Just pivot, pivot.
Yeah, just pivot, pivot.
Say you love Philly.
I can't do that.
Say you love Philly.
So, Nina, you live in Brooklyn.
What incredibly cool, hip Brooklyn thing do you do?
I work at a creative agency for social impact and also I co-own a boxing gym with some friends.
Exactly.
She'd fit.
I love it.
I absolutely do.
Well, Nina, welcome to our show and let me introduce you to our panel.
First up, a comedian whose album, Yell Joy, is available everywhere now. It's Joyelle Nicole Johnson. Hey, Nina. I live in Brooklyn too. First up, a comedian whose album, Yell Joy is available everywhere now.
It's Joyelle Nicole Johnson.
Hey Nina, I live in Brooklyn too.
What up girl?
Next up, an actor and writer who could be seen
at Comedy Sports Philadelphia in the acclaimed improv show,
Two Square on July 20th.
It's Peter Gross.
Hi there.
Hello.
I also live in Brooklyn.
And you can see her July 13th at the Colonial Theater in Bethlehem, New Hampshire, and July
14th at the Music Hall Lounge in Portsmouth, New Hampshire.
It's Dulce Sloan.
Boo!
How dare you.
Trust me!
Who booed?
I would boo on New York every chance I get.
Well Nina, you of course are going to be playing Who's Bill.
This time Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news.
If you can correctly identify or explain two of them, you will win our prize.
Any voice from our show you might choose in your voicemail.
Are you ready to do it?
I am.
All right, your first quote is from the President of the United States of America.
You're the sucker. You're the loser.
That was President Biden speaking to former
President Trump in a very presidential event on Thursday night. What was it? Oh, man, the
presidential debate. Yes. The correct answer and the correct tone. So now it's done. The
question before America now is basically, which grandpa do you want
to spend Thanksgiving with? The one who accidentally says racist things or the one who does it
on purpose? One of the first things everybody started talking about immediately was how
horse Biden was, or as the New York Times put it, quote, he was very horse.
So you think he was practicing in the mirror too much?
Like he had like a big audition coming up
in like the high school play, and then he rehearsed too much
and then he lost his horse.
It's possible.
It's like Biden can always find new ways to appear old.
Like I would have been like, oh, he's going to yawn
or his eyes are going to sag, but he's like, no,
I'm going to sound like Mel Brooks doing
the 2000 year old man. I think it's so interesting that the founding fathers were like, no man with this many charges
against him is going to run for president.
There were little things that were like, no man who's been to jail, we don't have to write
this down.
Right?
No.
They were like, hey, if someone from the future went back and was like, the number 34 is really
important, they would be like, well, that's middle age. I'm sure no man under 34 should
be president. You're like, no, it's a number of charges.
That's probably why there's no cap, because no one made it to the age that Trump and Biden
are. So they've never met an 80-year-old man. So they're like, no one lived 80 years.
That's the Bible. Like no one had ever.
Right. Exactly. I feel.
Well, they didn't have to write it down because you died at 51.
Only out of sucking up, I have to point out the one exception was Ben Franklin.
How old was he? He, as far as I know,
he's still alive.
Shut up.
But didn't he die?
It's the syphilis.
Syphilis kills every other disease and then you just live forever.
Nina, Nina, your next quote is from the actor Naomi Watts confessing some ignorance to the
Wall Street Journal.
I knew about hot flashes because they were on TV. Ms. Watts was expressing her gratitude for a new initiative to bring attention
finally to what important women's health issue. Menopause? Yes, menopause. Big round
of applause. I was going to say, that's the loudest, that's the most applause menopause has ever gotten.
Somewhere menopause is grateful I guess. Menopause, otherwise known when those few years when your mom got weird,
and it is finally getting its due attention,
unlike, say, just about any woman who has gone through menopause.
We all gone through menopause right now in this amphitheater, I'll tell you that.
The hot flashes.
It is a little warm.
Not me, baby, I'm from the south.
I live on this.
I'm hot at night.
So what's the, is there like specific research that's now being done or something like that?
The New York Times this week reported about attempts to delay menopause, which in fact
could help women live longer and healthier and even remain fertile longer as they age.
It's true.
No, no, that's, no.
Oh no, no, it's good.
It's good, but it is going to be weird
to have to introduce your grandkids
to their new baby aunt.
Oh, we've been doing that for centuries.
Yeah. But also just like.
Like doesn't Robert De Niro have like a three month old?
He does.
Appachino got a two month old.
So here's my thing.
Nature has gone, OK, women, you got to stop.
But nature's gone, men, do what you do.
And I don't understand why there was never a cut off.
Well, that's true.
In fact, Jill Biden, the first lady,
recently introduced this new well-funded presidential
initiative to fund studies into
menopause.
She says quite reasonably that society has always prioritized men's health over women's.
That's why old women now get, well, I guess you're all shrivel and die, and old men get
here.
Have some zero-fight effect hair growth and boner pills.
I would like to fund male birth control.
Okay, here's the thing. If some man told you that he was on birth control,
would you believe him?
Touche. All right, Nina, here is your last quote.
You just stare at the seat in front of you.
All you hear is the drumming of the engine.
That was someone quoted in GQ praising the new trend of giving up all entertainment and
other distractions while doing what?
Flying on an airplane?
That's right!
Forget podcast books, movies, and the little screen in the back of your chair.
The latest, coolest trend in air travel is, quote, raw dogging.
That's what they call it, which means forgoing all the distractions in a flight
and just staring at the back of the seat in front of you.
Never has something so dull been called something you really should not look up on
Urban Dictionary. It's not necessary. I mean, that's the only time I read.
I know, yes. It's on a flight.
If it proves anything, it's men need therapy. This is true. This is mostly men who are doing this.
The fact that it's called raw dog in the flight.
You know a man said that.
A man was like, yeah, I was just sitting there
and didn't do shit.
He said, man, raw dog that flight.
You're like, bro.
You forgot a book and your phone died.
How dare you?
It's also that he had to come up with a really aggressive name
for not doing anything. Yeah!
We were sitting next to a mother and a child.
You raw dogged nothing.
What are you talking about?
She raw dogged, actually.
That's how she got that baby.
What are you talking about?
Bill, how did Nina do on our quiz?
Nina came to town, won three, and goes home a winner.
Congratulations!
It's a knockout.
Congratulations, Nina.
Thank you so much for playing.
Thank you. Take care.
Panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Joyelle,
Bill Curtis has another quote for you from this week's news.
It is a spokesman for the Boeing Corporation.
The astronauts are not stranded.
Where are two astronauts absolutely stranded?
In a Boeing rocket ship?
Not quite.
They made it there, but they can't yet come back. They on the moon?
No, not that far. They on the top of the manned amphitheater? No. Where do astronauts tend to go
these days when they go to near-earth orbit? They get off their spaceship and they get into...
A space station? Yes, the space station, the ISF. She got there. She got there.
That was a fun journey.
Joel, did you know there is a space station up there?
No.
I didn't remember that.
OK.
Nobody told me that.
You're more concerned with earthly pursuits.
But that's OK.
That's my bad.
She asked me to tell her if there
were any permanent structures built up in space.
I dropped the ball. He lied to me.
Yeah, they are stranded on the International Space Station.
Astronauts Butch Wilmore and Suni Williams were the first to fly Boeing's new Starliner
rocket to the ISS.
And lucky them, they get to stay up there an extra month maybe.
It's like winning a vacation on a game show if your vacation consisted of drinking out
of one bag and peeing into another. I think I thought they only had space stations in the movie.
Girl, what?
I'm being honest.
It's been up there for like 20 years.
I ain't been there?
Okay.
Yeah, but you also haven't been to, like, Tokyo,
and you know that there is a Tokyo.
How do you know I haven't been to Tokyo, Peter?
Oh, how you know she ain't been to Tokyo, Peter?
Let's ask. Have you been to Tokyo? I haven't been to Tokyo? Oh, how you know she ain't been to Tokyo, Peter?
Let's ask. Have you been to Tokyo?
I haven't.
I rest my case.
Coming up, get ready to yell objection to our Bluff the Listener game
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From NPR in WBEZ, Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis we are
playing this week with Joyeux, Nicole Johnson, Dulce Sloan and Peter Gross and
here again is your host at the Mann Center for the Performing Arts in
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Peter Shaggo. Thank you Bill right now it is time for the
Wait Wait Don't Tell Me Bluff the Listener
game call 1-888-WAITWAIT to play our game in the air or you can check out the pin to
post on our Instagram page that's at Wait Wait NPR all the info is right there. Hi you're
on Wait Wait Don't Tell Me. Hi Peter. Hey who's this? Rachel Pullen calling from Clearfield,
Utah. What do you do there in Clearfield? I am a junior high English teacher, and before anybody says it, yes, voluntarily.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, I mean, you couldn't pay me to go back to junior high school.
Is it fun just to be in a room with all those raging hormones and the bodies they're attached
to?
It is.
I say a lot of things out loud that I would not say in any other professions.
Can you give us a sample? It is I say a lot of things out loud that I would not say in any other professions
Give us an example one of my favorites this last year was gentlemen don't put sprinkles up your nose during class
So she has a spray bottle has to hit him like cats
Yeah Welcome to the show Rachel. You're gonna play the game in which you have to tell truth from fiction.
Bill, what is Rachel's topic?
I'll see you in court.
It is rare that we get to see true firsts anymore.
What with the earth being almost 6,000 years old.
But this week, somebody sued somebody for a reason we have never seen before. We think it's the first time
in history it's happened. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the
real one and you will win the weight-weighter of your choice and your
voicemail. You ready to play? I am so ready. I've listened to this show since
I was eight years old with my dad and I cannot believe I'm doing this. So let's
do it. All right, first up let's hear from Joyelle Nicole Johnson. Living in a
capitalist society, being sued in small claims
court is par for the course.
However, has someone ever been sued for passing on bad genes?
Diana Cole of Tupelo, Mississippi
sued her mother Sabrina simply for procreating
with her father.
Diana claimed she has sustained emotional distress
when a date left the restaurant when she excused herself to the bathroom.
She blames this all on her mother who happens to be a beauty queen who married down.
When asked for comment, the former Miss Teen of Tupelo responded,
What can I say? He had money and I had looks. I was hoping the kids would look like me.
While this case was dismissed in the court of law, Diana wanted to set a precedent for future generations.
I want people to think before they have children.
Don't we all, Diana?
The judge responded before throwing out the case.
The ugly rich father cannot be reached for comment.
A woman sues her mother for marrying her ugly dog of a dad
and passing down those looks.
Your next story of suing Sue Ganaris comes from Dulce Sloan.
There are many benchmark moments in a relationship.
First kiss, meeting the parents, and the penultimate, taking your partner to the airport.
A man in New Zealand promised to take his girlfriend of six and a half years to the
airport and watch her dogs while she was out of town for a concert. The day she was supposed to leave he
ghosted her. No call, no show, nada. Now many in this situation would take this
disappointment and let it fester into deep resentment. This young lady on the
other hand decided to sue. The woman argued that his promise was an oral contract,
and he had broken it.
Unfortunately, he was not found responsible for anything
other than being a crappy boyfriend.
A woman sues her boyfriend for not showing up
to take her to the airport like he promised.
Your last story of pioneering jurisprudence comes from Peter Gross.
Sue Stewart works at Super Realty in Sioux City, Iowa, and she loves her job.
That is until this week when Sue's coworker, Suzanne Shue, told everyone she also wants
to be called Sue.
Sue assumed she was the only Sue.
She didn't know what to do.
So Sue sued Sue, saying, quote, I didn't want to sue Sue,
but two Sues is more than I can do.
The case went to court, and the morning the suit would be
heard, Sue went to size suits, Sue City selection for
superior suits.
Sue bought a suit, suited up, then brought her suit against
Sue to the Sue City Suit Center, a small claims
court in town. The judge, Susan Stoops, said Sue's suit was not suitable for the Sioux City Suit
Center, saying, Sue, screw you. Sued! Suzanne told the Sioux City Review, I
never meant to cause a Sue on Sue feud. So Sue and Sue agreed to review over a
bowl of soup, so they scooted on over to Super Soup, Sioux City's super spot for
savory soups. After a soup song of soup, Suzanne tolded on over to Super Soup. Sue's city's super spot for savory soups.
After a soup song of soup, Suzanne told Sue she'd undo her
Sue and changed her name to Carol, which should be fine
until Christmas rolls around.
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
Rachel, I just want to say they might be applauding for the truth.
People always do.
People always do.
So Rachel, these are your choices about the pioneering lawsuit.
Was it from Joelle Nicole Johnson, a woman who sued her mother for marrying her ugly
dad?
From Dulce, a woman who sued her boyfriend for not taking her to the airport like he promised.
Or from Peter Gross, Sue of Sioux City suing Sue.
I am so impressed with Peter's ability to rattle off the Sue's in Sioux City.
I'm so impressed with that, but I've spent enough time on Instagram
to think that Dulce is probably the one telling the truth.
All right, so you think that it's Dulce telling the story of the woman suing her no-good boyfriend?
Well, we spoke to a reporter who covered the real story.
I would say this really gets to the question
of who deserves a ride to the airport.
Who should you take to the airport?
That was Natalie Compton, a travel reporter
for The Washington Post, talking about the ride to the airport
case in New Zealand.
I should say we don't know if they're still together, which is an interesting question.
Congratulations, Rachel.
You got it right.
You have won our prize and a point for Dulce, just for telling the truth.
Thank you so much.
Thank you for playing.
Take care.
Good luck with those kids.
It's an honor.
Enjoy your summer.
Thank you. Good luck with the kids next year.
And now the game we call Not My Job.
If you're in Philadelphia, you can go over to Independence Hall and see the birthplace
of Liberty or you can head down to South Philly in the High School for Creative and Performing
Arts and
see the birthplace of Genius.
One of its most famous graduates is Christian McBride, jazz bassist, bandleader, nine-time
Grammy winner, artistic director of the Newport Jazz Festival and host of NPR's Jazz Night
in America, and we are proud to talk to him here in his hometown, Christian McBride.
Welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you.
It's nice. It's nice to be home.
It's always nice to be home.
I want to talk to you about your level of fame because when I told people that we were having you in the show, I got two reactions. The first reaction was, oh my god, Christian McBride,
you're having him in person himself?
They were freaking out, they were sending me tracks
I needed to listen to, and the other reaction was, oh.
Mm-hmm, right.
So there are certain people who just cannot believe
these are huge, enormous fans.
Is this your experience of walking through life?
Well, I always say being a famous jazz bass player is being like a famous plumber.
Because I might not get invited to the party, but you need me.
Is that why when you were a young man here in West Philly having musical ambitions you
chose the bass because you're like they're always going to need a bassist.
I can imagine your mother saying be a plumber, plumbers are always necessary.
They always work.
People need a backbeat, right?
Yeah, well bass is a family tradition.
My dad plays bass, my great uncle plays bass, so I really didn't have much choice.
Really?
Not a lot of lead melody in your house then?
No, not at all.
And tell me about that, I mean, you could have rebelled, right?
You could have picked up guitar or something else, wind instrument.
What was it about the bass that you loved?
I always just thought the bass was cool because it made people dance.
You know, the bass and the drums are what make, that's what makes you dance.
Right.
You know, and it, that's right.
Bass is one of those instruments where like, you know, I always say the best bass players
are the ones who aren't noticed because when the groove starts getting funny and people
can't dance anymore, that's when they look up on stage and say hey what's going on up there yeah you
also have to be very nice to bass players because we could easily sabotage
the music really oh yeah absolutely bass and drums like I said hold all the power
so if you want to be a diva you go right ahead one of these days you're gonna
feel the bass and the drums stop or play something that you're not expecting
and so much for all that showboating out in front.
So when you were starting out, were you immediately into jazz?
Was that your first love?
No, I wanted to play with James Brown.
Really?
That was your thing?
Yes, which I'm very happy to say I eventually did, but I grew up as an R&B kid, you know, truly gambling huff.
And you actually got to play,
you played with a lot of people,
but you actually got to play with James Brown.
I got to play with Mr. Brown, yes.
And what about, what's it like meeting your heroes,
in the case of Mr. Brown?
It's complicated.
Yeah.
That's what everybody says.
We heard that he used to levy fines
to his band members. Oh yes.
If he screwed up.
But that was standard practice for a lot of band leaders
in the 40s and 50s.
You know, Ray Charles did that, Lionel Hampton did that,
Benny Goodman did that.
That was part of the gig.
You know, like if you screwed up, $10 coming out of your pay
at the end of the night.
Now, of course, James Brown kept that practice going long
after everybody stopped doing it. Significant part of his income, I'm sure, by the end.
Right.
So when did you get into jazz?
When I first started playing the double bass when I got to middle school,
because I'd been playing the electric bass for a couple of years,
my great uncle Howard, who's the other bass player in the family,
he was so excited.
He said, come over to my house, I got something for you.
And now that he found out that I was playing the double bass, he said, hey, I'm going to
turn you on to the cat.
So he spent the whole day playing nothing but jazz albums for me.
And my great uncle had this very cool way of, you know, he would put a record on and
he had a chair similar to this. He would sit down, he would sit way down like this, he'd light up a
cigarette, they'd have a glass of wine and he would start playing air bass along with
the record and you know he would snap me on the arm and say, hey listen what
Coltrane is about to do and he pointed the record, ooooh, you hear that?
And so it was so entertaining watching my great uncle listen
to jazz.
I said, well, if jazz makes him that cool,
then I want to be cool too.
So that one visit with my great uncle.
Really?
Yeah.
And then does he also do that during movies?
Probably.
Yeah.
I don't know how many ensembles and groups you've started in your career,
but my understanding is the latest one is called the New John.
Actually, the New John is...
Heh heh heh.
Right.
That's, I should say, for non-Philadelphians, that's not the name John, that's J-A-W-N.
I actually have a new group since the New John.
Oh, I'm sorry.
So the New John is the old John.
I see, yeah.
Right. Could you explain to non-Philadelphians the new John is the old John. I see, yeah.
Could you explain to non-Philadelphians what a John is? It's a person, place, or thing.
You know, Joyelle could have a new partner or whatever. Hey, you've seen Joyelle's new John? I knew Joyelle. Really? Yeah. Well, it's interesting because I grew up in Atlanta, so Johnan,
which is also, it's that's how, I guess at the place they
call it the dozens.
Yeah.
So when we're going back and forth, that's what we call Jonin.
Well see, Jon has different versions regionally, like in New York it's joint.
Someone said in Memphis, this is funny, they said it's junct.
Junct?
It's junct, yeah.
And so, you know, I don't know what it is on the West Coast.
Yeah, who cares?
Who cares?
Yeah, exactly.
I'm sure Kendrick Lamar will tell us.
Right, right.
Well, Christian McBride, it is such a pleasure to talk to you in your hometown, and we have
asked you back here to play a game we're calling Bass Pro Meet Bass Pro.
Oh, man.
I was afraid.
Really?
You anticipated that?
I was hoping to be baseball and not bass.
Oh boy.
Have you ever been to Bass Pro Shop?
No.
They're one of the best stores in the world.
Yes, I love a Bass Pro Shop.
Exactly.
You contain moments.
You're a world-renowned genius when it comes to the bass, the instrument. Jazz Pro Shop. Exactly. Very fun. You can paint moments. That was a good look to it all.
You're a world-renowned genius when
it comes to the bass, the instrument.
So what do you know about Bass?
The Pro Shop.
We're going to ask you three questions about the outdoor
store that is not REI.
Answer two or three questions correctly.
You'll win the prize for one of our listeners, the weight
waiter of their choice on their voicemail.
Bill, who is jazz legend Christian McBride playing for?
Chris Dunn of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
One-town guy. All right.
So Bass Pro Shops are famous for their enormous sales floors and the things on them,
like giant aquariums, actual running streams through the floor and more.
All of that natural beauty, though, can backfire as in which of these cases?
A, one store in Texas is now home to a family of geese who refuse to let anyone go near
the camping supply section.
B, at a shop in Florida, a man showed up with a net, scooped a 50-pound fish right out of
the aquarium and then just walked out with it.
Or C, a store in Kansas was declared a protected environment
for a species of endangered fish and now nobody is allowed inside.
Yeah, well, considering this is America, I would go with B.
Right, meaning this is the place where people just go in there and take that fish.
Right, right.
Put a price tag on it.
That's right.
You're right, yes.
That's what happened. According to the
store, the thief and perhaps for all we know the fish is still at large. Maybe he was rescuing
it in a Finding Nemo kind of way. We don't know. Now, next question. One of the most
famous Bass Pro Shops is the one in Memphis, Tennessee. In addition to being very popular,
it is notable for one other reason. What is it? A, all of the fish in the aquarium are descendants of the fish that Elvis had in his aquarium.
B, it has an actual moat you can test drive their motorboats in.
Or C, it is located inside one of the largest pyramids in the world. world? Well, I know the arena where the Grizzlies play is actually called the
pyramid, right? I'm gonna go with C. Yeah, it is. Yeah, the pyramid was built for some
civic purpose. That's a big junk. It's meant to be a two-thirds scale model of
the Great Pyramid of Giza and just like that world wonder, it was also built by aliens.
And now there's a Bass Pro Shops in it, which is pretty awesome.
All right, here's your last question.
Sadly, not everyone is happy with Bass Pro Shops.
In fact, a man once filed a $5 million lawsuit against that company over what?
A, the fact that he spent over $3,000 on premium fishing gear and still could not catch anything.
That sounds American.
B, they stopped replacing his $12 pair of socks
after about 10 times,
even though they had a lifetime guarantee.
Or C, he got dysentery after getting thirsty
in the middle of the store and taking a drink
from one of the artificial trout streams.
Wow.
Whoa. Well, I already got two out of three. trout streams. Wow. B.
Whoa.
Well, I already got two out of three.
You did, man.
Um...
I'm actually gonna go with A.
You're gonna go with A,
the fact that he spent $3,000 on fishing gear
and still couldn't catch anything.
Yeah.
No, it was actually B,
it was about the return of the socks.
Bill, how did Christian McBride do in our quiz?
Well, he's a winner, two out of three, that's a win. Congratulations. It was actually B, it was about the return of the socks. Bill, how did Christian McBride do in our quiz?
Well, he's a winner.
Two out of three, that's a win.
Congratulations.
Yay!
Oh, boom, boom, boom, boom.
Christian McBride is a grandly winning bassist
in the artistic director of the Newport Jazz Festival
and the Jazz House Kids.
Christian McBride, thank you so much for joining us here
in Philadelphia.
Thank you.
Christian McBride, everybody.
In just a minute, how Taylor Swift might be warping your brain, it's the listener limerick
challenge.
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["The NPR Newsreel"]
From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz.
I'm Bill Curtis.
We are playing this week with Peter Gross, Dulce Sloan, and Joyelle Nicole Johnson.
And here again is your host at the Mann Center for the Performing Arts in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Peter
Segold.
Thank you, Bill.
In just a minute, one of you may be picked to win $10,000 during our listener limerick
challenge game.
I mean, almost certainly not, but you never know.
If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-888-924-8924.
Right now, some more questions for you from the week's news.
Peter, I have a question for you.
Peter, running clubs are a great way to get some exercise, get sweaty and smelling in
a big group of people, but these days, apparently, they're also being used for doing what?
Finding sexual partners.
Exactly right, finding a date.
Oh, really?
Yeah, exactly right.
I don't like the way you said it.
I...
Finding sexual partners, then can you give me some names
for some of these clubs?
No, Peter just routinely answers that to any questions.
Why do they go to space?
Finding sexual partners.
According to the New York Times,
running clubs are the new singles bars
because since dating isn't hard enough,
let's add the sudden urge to emergency poop your pants.
And if you do meet and it goes well, it'll be a great story for your kids years from now.
Oh, well, you know, there was just something about the way your dad's nipples bled.
Wait, what's the emergency poop your pants part? That's a thing that sometimes happens. Oh, if you run that far. I would assume running club is like, let's go jog three miles.
Oh, the emergency poop may strike you at any time, Peter.
I mean, I guess if you take chasing women literally.
That's true.
I will speak for myself. I haven't found any dates that way, but it is a nice, low-pressure way to meet people.
You don't have to really worry about what you're going to wear, right?
Plus, you have an excuse for being gross and sweaty on essentially your first date.
They don't need to know that you will also be just like that when you go out to dinner.
How can you talk though?
You're like, hey, hey, I grew up in New York.
The breathing is so labored.
Every time I run and I try to talk to somebody I'm like
I can't do this. Well, you try to run at a pace where you can speak in a natural way. That's called standing still. Yes
My cousin met her husband in a bike club. There you are. Yeah, but then he cheated and she moved to Mexico
Wow that I was so happy for a second. It's a lot of drama.
I can make it sad real quick.
Dulce, as I'm sure you know, camping is a great way to disconnect, get out there, get
away from the modern world.
That's why companies are now offering what to attach to the side of your tent this summer?
Mirrors.
No.
Can you give me a clue?
All right. They're very convenient, I guess, to keep you comfortable, but they're very hard to this summer? Mirrors! No! Can you give me a clue? I can't.
All right.
They're very convenient, I guess, to keep you comfortable, but they're very hard to
attach to your tent's window.
Oh, air conditioners?
Air conditioners for your camping tent.
Yeah, makes sense!
It's so wonderful to wake up in the wilderness and hear the sounds of nature while now some
innovative companies are asking, but what if you couldn't?
I have a question for you, for the sake of what in the history of knowing me would cause
anyone on this team to believe that I go camping.
Who do I need to talk to?
I'm the blackest person you know.
How dare you say that while you sit next to me.
I hear you.
Joyelle, we're tied for first.
So I don't know much about camping because I believe in the power of inside.
Two things. First of all, we are both so black that we have to take our earring off to put
our headphones on. And second, I thought the purpose of camping was to be uncomfortable.
That is kind of the point. Yeah. This is the thing though. People like to camp out in tents,
but they want to be cool. You can get a camping tent air conditioner. They cost about $1,500.
$1,500?
Oh my God.
What?
No!
You could go to an actual nice hotel, a resort.
For $1,500 there better be a dinosaur in that thing from the Flintstones going, it's a living
mouse!
Who is happy?
I am happy.
Also happy.
Also happy.
And that's the way I am happy.
Also happy?
Also happy.
And that's the way I like it, so stay clear.
Coming up, it's Lighting Fill in the Blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme.
If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT.
That's 1-888-924-8924.
Or you can catch us most weeks
back at the Studebaker Theater in downtown Chicago, Illinois for tickets and information
to all of our live shows.
Just go over to nvrpresents.org.
Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Hi, this is Greg from Centennial, Colorado.
That's great.
Centennial is a famous town, but I don't know exactly in Colorado where it is.
Oh, it's just a southern suburb just south of Denver.
I see.
And what do you do there?
All those fabulous Colorado things, hiking, mountaineering, that sort of thing?
Absolutely.
And eating good food and yeah.
Well, Greg, welcome to our show.
Bill Curtis is going to read you three news related limericks with the last word or phrase
missing from each.
If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly.
Two of the limericks will be a winner.
You ready to play?
Absolutely.
Here's your first lemming.
At the concert, I don't mean to tease you.
I think Tete's perfume smelled like freesia.
But things got so hot that I simply forgot.
I developed post-concerts.
Amnesia.
Amnesia, yes. Dozens of Taylor Swift fans who saw the ERAs tour are now saying they cannot remember any
of it.
It is a documented phenomenon called post-concert amnesia.
It's why whenever I go to a concert, I make flashcards to study on the way home.
Apparently, intense emotions and adrenaline makes it harder for your brain to store memories.
It's why, for example, some people look at their wedding photos and are like, I smeared
cake on your face.
Why would I do that?
They're just so overwhelmed with the Taylor Swift of it all that they just freak out.
Yeah, there's such a huge freak out that their brain just cannot, it doesn't have enough
processing power, if you will, to store the memories.
And so when it's all over, it's just a blur
and they can't remember anything that happened.
Are they remembering the Better Beyonce concert?
Like, the Sufferers concert?
Just slip that in.
I remember Beyonce's concert.
Could it not be amnesia and just that it was forgettable?
Drag her.
I'm asking a legitimate question. I'm just asking. I'm not trying to start
no problems with no 10 years old. I'm just asking questions.
Oh, it's too late, Dulce. Here is your next limerick.
I am sick of the club-choosing drama, and my kid always whines for his mama. This sweet
and my kid always whines for his mama. This sweet pet from Peru won't want tips when we're through.
As a caddy, I'm choosing a llama.
That's right.
At the Sherwood Forest Golf Course in North Carolina,
you can book a llama to carry your clubs around
while you golf.
Apparently llamas are perfect caddies because they can carry heavy loads and are gentle
grazers, unlike human caddies who are constantly tearing up the fairway in their passionate
mating displays.
Do they spit in your face if you pick the wrong club?
Exactly.
That's how they let you know.
Llamas are spitters.
Yeah, exactly.
Who asked for this?
Or somebody was like, yo, I bought a llama, but it also needed to be attached to Dutch. Yeah, exactly. Who asked for this? Or somebody was like, yo, I bought a llama, but I also needed to be attached to Dutch.
Yeah, exactly.
I bought a llama and my stupid nephew says he can't caddy today.
What this means, by the way, is if this goes widespread, there will be some golf courses
where llamas are allowed but women are not.
True.
Is that fair?
Maybe not, but that's what happens when billionaires have paid to pack the Supreme Court with llamas.
I like that you chose women there.
Ah, yeah. Here is your last limit.
I will drool when you try to get snuggly, and my eyes and my fur are real struggling.
But the world needs to know I am best worst in show.
Out of all of the dogs, I'm most ugly?
Ugly, yes.
The world's ugliest dog has been decided.
Every year, there's a contest in Northern California
with entries from all over the world
to decide who has destroyed the wolf
in the most substantial way.
This year's winner is a Pekingese named Wild Thang.
It's a huge victory for the dog who got second place three years in a row, but now he is
a winner.
Good for his owners, but it's got to hurt if you're Wild Thang.
He's like, yay, I won.
Wait, what did I win?
They probably just give it a little treat and a little bow anyway, right?
So they don't, they probably think he won some contest.
He doesn't care.
He doesn't know he's a dog.
Maybe it's like that episode of Twilight Zone where everybody was ugly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So with the dog world, that's Naomi Campbell.
Bill, how did Greg do in our quiz?
Three in a row. What a genius. Thank you,
Greg. Take care. Thank you so much. Bye-bye. In this country, some truths aren't self-evident.
In NPR's Black Stories Black Truths, a collection of stories is wide-ranging and real as the
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This message comes from Dear Media, presenting Let's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari.
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Tune in every Tuesday.
Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank.
Each of our players will have 60 seconds
in which to answer as many Fill in the Blank questions
as they can.
Each correct answer is worth two points.
Bill, can you give us the scores?
Cedar Grove says two, Dalce and Joyell each have three.
Okay, so Peter, you're in third place,
so you're gonna start.
The clock will start when they begin your first question,
fill in the blank.
This week, the Supreme Court voted to allow
emergency exceptions to Idaho's blank ban.
Abortion. Right, after accepting a plea deal
with the US, Wikileaks founder Blank returned home for the first time in 12 years. Julian Ass abortion. Right. After accepting a plea deal with the U.S., WikiLeaks founder Blank returned home for
the first time in 12 years.
Julian Assange.
Right.
This week, the Chancellor of New York Public Schools said they may announce a full Blank
Ban in January.
Uh, child.
No, cell phone ban.
Right.
On Thursday, Oklahoma State Superintendent directed all public schools there to teach
Blank.
The Bible?
Right.
This week, an Illinois museum said they're investigating the cause of an incident that left their new Blank exhibit underwater. The Bible? Right. This week an Illinois museum said they're investigating
the cause of an incident that left their new blank exhibit
underwater.
The Bible?
No.
No, their new Titanic exhibit is underwater on Wednesday.
NBC announced that sportscaster Al Michaels has approved an AI
recreation of his voice for coverage of the summer blank.
Oh, no.
Olympics?
Right.
Marking its first new loan in over 20 years,
China announced it was sending two blanks
to the San Diego Zoo.
China, oh, Pandas.
Yes.
This week, over half a million glass coffee mugs
were recalled because they explode when you blank.
Put coffee in them.
Yes, in fact, they explode
when you put any hot liquid in them.
According to the recall notice,
the Declan single wall glass coffee mug can leak, crack,
or even explode when you put hot liquid in it.
I mean, I get it.
Don't even talk to me in the morning until I have detonated my first coffee.
Mmm.
You can taste the shards.
Yes.
Bill, how did Peter Gross do in our quiz?
Here's your hot man.
He got seven right, 14 more points.
Easy, Bill.
Total of 16.
All right, Dulce, I am arbitrarily picking you to go next.
Oh, good.
So fill in the blank.
On Monday, U.S. prosecutors recommended
that the Justice Department file criminal charges
against airplane maker blank.
Bolling.
Right, according to the Department of Homeland Security,
migrant apprehensions at the blank have dropped by 40%.
The border?
Yes.
With Mexico following days of protests in Nairobi, the president of blank withdrew a
controversial new finance bill.
Kenya?
Right.
This week, scientists in China opened a capsule containing samples from the far side of the
blank.
Moon?
Right.
This week, a New Orleans man was arrested for impersonating a police officer after he
used his fake lights and sirens to pull over blank.
A white person.
No.
An actual police officer.
By drafting Bronnie James, the Los Angeles Lakers
moved closer to having the first blank and blank on the same NBA
team.
Oh, father I'm sorry.
Right.
On Tuesday, health officials warned
that three popular ice cream brands
may contain traces of blank.
Stevia?
No, Listeria.
Listeria?
Last week a new wax statue of Abraham Lincoln in Washington D.C. blanked.
Melted!
Right!
After a four day heat wave melted this new sculpture of Lincoln, people began to say
maybe wax was not the best medium, but I'm sorry, has there ever been a more Yankee candle than a wax Abraham Lincoln?
Hilarious.
Bill, how did Dulce do on our quiz?
Well, she's in there.
She got six right, 12 more points, 15, one short of Peter.
Won't he do it?
All right, how many then does Joel need to win?
Seven.
All right, Joel, it's a tall order, but you can do it.
Here we go. This is for the game.
Fill in the blank.
This week, Judge Eileen Kennan said she would revisit a key finding in Blank's classified documents case.
Trump?
Yes. On Thursday, Pharmacy Giant Blank announced plans to close stores throughout the country.
Do A read?
No.
Walgreens on Thursday rejected the bankruptcy plan of Blank Pharma.
Big Pharma.
Purdue Pharma.
This week, Apple announced they fixed a vulnerability in their Vision Pro headsets that had allowed
hackers to Blank.
Raw dog on an airplane.
No!
To make it seem as if the user's room was filled with spiders.
On Wednesday, NASA announced a contract with SpaceX to help drag the blank out of orbit
when it is decommissioned.
The space station!
Right, Joyelle, right!
That's what they were 10 points.
Sighting a piece of the car that may just fly off
while you're driving, Tesla once again recalled the blank.
That dumbass truck.
I'm going to give it to you, the cyber truck.
This week, a woman staying in a French wildlife park
was attacked by wolves while she was jogging in blank.
Booty shorts.
No, she was jogging in the wolf enclosure. Were they like, the
people at the park were like, oh no, we should save her. Okay, so she was trying to go full
colors of the wind. Yeah. And they were like, oh no miss, you're about to be the color of
blood, you need to sit down. She survived? She's injured but fine. Oh. Yeah. I'm so sorry for your not loss.
Bill did Joyelle do well enough to win?
She got three right.
Yes!
Six more points.
She got a total of nine which means Peter Gross is the champion.
Yay for Peter!
In just a minute we're going to ask our panellists to predict. Peter Gross is the champion. Yay for Peter. Woohoo!
In just a minute we're going to ask our panelists to predict
now that we've got raw dogging flights
what will be the next weird trend of people doing things on airplanes.
But first let me tell you all
Wait, wait, don't tell me.
It's a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago
in association with Urgent Haircut Productions
Doug Berman, benevolent overlord.
Philip Gotica, writer of Limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman.
Our tour manager is Shayna Dommel.
BJ Liderman composed our theme.
Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills,
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Special thanks to Monica Hickey, Blythe Robertson,
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Technical Directionist from Lorna White.
Our CFO is Colin Miller.
Our production manager is Robert Newhouse.
Our senior producer is Ian Chilag.
And the executive producer, wait, wait, don't tell me,
is Mike Danforth.
Now, panel, what will people start doing on planes next?
Joyelle Nicole Johnson.
Bear backing.
Riding an airplane without a shirt.
Yeah.
Peter Gross.
There will be a rash of weirdos not taking three Xanax and drinking five Jack and Cokes
before takeoff.
And Dulcé Sloan.
Literally building the plane in the air.
Well, if any of that happens, panel, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell
Me.
Thank you, Bill Curtis.
Thanks also to Joel, Nicole, Johnson, Peter Gross, Dulcé Sloan.
Thanks to everyone. At WHYY, special thanks to Toby Blumenfall and the entire staff and crew at the Mann
Center for the Performing Arts in Philadelphia.
Thank you for our fabulous audience who joined us here at this beautiful place.
And thank you to all of you out there in Radioland for listening.
I'm Peter Segel, We'll see you next week. [♪upbeat music playing. crowd cheering.
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