Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - WWDTM: John Goodman

Episode Date: May 27, 2023

We're back in New Orleans with the legendary John Goodman! He talks leaving L.A., The Big Lebowski, and being the voice of the St. Louis airport.Support NPR by signing up for Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me+ via Apple Podcasts or at plus.npr.org.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Poor boy, I'm a Po-man. A Po-anchorman. Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Sanger Theater in New Orleans, Louisiana. It's Peter Saga. Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody. We are delighted to be back in New Orleans. Later on, we're going to be talking to the actor John Goodman,

who, as they might tell you, is not from here. But after 30 years in town, the locals are willing to let him stay. We don't care where you're from or even where you are now. Give us a call. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, I'm Maddie from Raleigh, North Carolina. Raleigh, North Carolina, an awesome place.

People here are fans. What do you do there? Well, I am a physician assistant, and I specialize in spine surgery. But more importantly than that, I have been listening to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me in NPR for over 20 years since I was a kid. And it's a huge thing in my family. We love Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, and my mom is going to be so pumped I'm on the show. Really? Wow, you've made it. Congratulations. She raised you right. I have. That's awesome. Well, welcome

to the show, Maddie. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First, you can see her hosting Butter Boy Comedy every Monday night in Brooklyn, New York. It's Maeve Higgins. Hi, Maddie. Hi, Maeve. Next, a comedian whose new special, Vacation Baby, is available for free on YouTube and will be headlining the Den Theatre in Chicago

in June 2nd and 3rd. It's Hari Kondabolu. Hi, Maddie. Hi, Maddie. And he's host of the podcast Mobituaries. Find it wherever you get your podcast. It's Mo Rocca. Hi, Maddie. So, Maddie, welcome to the show. You're going to play Who's Bill this time. You've been listening for your whole life. You knew that. Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them,

you will win our prize, the voice of anyone you might choose for your voicemail. Long last. Are you ready to play? Absolutely not, but let's do it. All right. Your first quote is a question posed by the Daily Mail this week. Ladies, don't we all want to be Lauren Sanchez right now? A columnist was asking that after Lauren Sanchez got engaged to what billionaire?

Oh, my God. I have no idea. One could say he's still in his Amazon Prime. That's true. Oh, Jeff Bezos. That's right. Jeff Bezos. Yes. Yes. I'm sorry, ladies, gay men, and really ambitious and determined straight men. Jeff Bezos is taken.

Mr. Bezos apparently proposed to his long-term girlfriend, Lauren Sanchez, on his new $500 million yacht, which is the world's most expensive sailing ship. And at the front of the ship he had designed and built for him, this is true, he installed a wooden sculpture, the figurehead, if you will, of Ms. Sanchez as a mermaid. There's no better way to say to the woman you love, I have a weird fish thing. If you married Mackenzie Scott, you might also

like Lauren Sanchez. Exactly. Do you think that's what he was responding to? It's the algorithm, man. He just clicked on it, and the next thing you know, he's getting married again. You know when you framed it like, oh,

he's off the market, or whatever. My mom used to always say this when when we were little kids Maybe it's an Irish saying like a ring doesn't block a hole. It means like It's an Irish saying it's just I just an Irish saying A ring doesn't block. It's true ring doesn't block What was she trying to say exactly? It kind of means just because someone's married doesn't mean that...

Other people can't... Yeah, that other people can't. Yeah. So, yeah. I'm just a bit... I'm just like, I thought he was into me. He's always sending me little gifts in the post. Things I need for my house.

Offers. Big packets of toilet paper. It is going to be a beautiful wedding. They haven't announced it, but when it happens, you know it's going to be gorgeous. When the ceremony is over, they'll release doves and workers from an Amazon warehouse. All right.

Your next quote, Maddie, was a trending topic on Twitter Wednesday. Hashtag DeSantis disaster. That was about Ron DeSantis' disastrous announcement Wednesday. Also on Twitter that he was going to do what? Announce his presidency. Yes. Bid for president. All right. Skipounce his presidency. Yes. Bid for president. All right, skip the stabbing.

Yes, run for president. Ron DeSantis finally made it official. He will be losing the Republican nomination for president. And there are all sorts of glitches, right? Exactly. It was terrible. The announcement was through Twitter spaces in some kind of weird new live stream,

and it was plagued by technical difficulties. Nobody could see it or hear it. By the time DeSantis actually said he was running for president, he had lost 400,000 viewers from the start of the broadcast. It's not fair, really, to call it a disaster, because the best thing

that could happen to Ron DeSantis' political fortunes is nobody seeing or hearing him. Do you know what Ron DeSantis' drag name is? What? Ron DeSantis. I have been thinking about this for weeks, that it's so elegant.

Like, when I hear Ron DeSantis, I'm like, who is she? It's Ron DeSantis. Well, Rhonda. Rhonda Santus, I'm like, who is she? It's Rhonda Santus. Rhonda Santus. And that is, that's the kind of economy I want from a GOP candidate. Efficiency. I did hear that really his personality

is really, really bad. It is, yeah. And that, like, his protectors or whatever are like, don't let him go on the TV, you know? Because, like, his protectors or whatever are like, don't let him go on the TV, you know? Because, like, he has these really strong ideas, but a bad personality. Right, yeah. I mean, everybody's been saying, like, for a year now, like, Roger Sandis is the guy. He's going to take it.

He's absolutely favored to win, still, unless voters get to see him or watch him eat. voters get to see him or watch him eat. Well, he's got to, and I do not know where I read this, but somebody was pointing out that he has a really gross tongue. Like his tongue is very white, and he needs to get his tongue scraped before the primaries, which is a thing. I know it's really gross.

I'm sorry to bring this up, but it's true. Free advice. That's a nonpartisan thing. Right. Because when you see... I don't want to see any candidate with a tongue that's sort of white and grayish. I want a reddish, I want a pink tongue. I'm just going to say this beats CNN inside politics. He's always surrounded by these kind of worried-looking men, and I thought it? He's always, like, surrounded by these kind of

worried-looking men, and I thought it was his security detail, but now I'm like, oh, those are dental hygienists. Alright. Maddie, here is your last quote. This is one of the single dumbest freaking decisions I've ever heard.

That was a man commenting on the decision of HBO Max to unveil their bold new brand name for their streaming future. What is it? Max? Yes, Max. Oh, no.

Oh, no. This week, HBO Max, which used to be HBO Now, which used to be HBO Go, which used to be HBO Now, which used to be HBO Go, which used to be HBO, finally just became Max. This is just like Sex and the City saying, we're going to be the city now. And we're all like, no, that's not the good part. This is happening, by the way, because of HBO's or Warner Brothers, whatever company

on HBO, merger with Discovery, right? So it's gonna, and they're combining all their content to a new service. It's gonna be so fun to see Discovery reality shows get the HBO aesthetic, right? Like Storage Wars, but with boobs. They're not, they're not screwing with any of the HBO programming as a result of the merger with Discovery, but apparently, if you do watch The End of the Sopranos now, Chip and Joanna shoot Tony.

Yeah. They shoot him. They shoot him right in the head. In the diner. And then they rebuild the diner and turn it into a three-bedroom. Bill, how did Maddie do in our quiz? Maddie, your three correct answers mean

you are the max. Maddie, thank you so much for playing. Thanks, guys. Bye-bye. Bye. Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Hari, this last week, the ethicist column in the New York Times prompted a lively debate about a husband who, when traveling with his family, does what? Hmm. Okay, it's not my life. Think of someone else's life.

Um... Oh, it takes tons of Xanax to pass out the whole time to avoid interacting with anybody. No. Was that your life? No, no, no, no. I'll give you a hint. He's like, oh, don't worry, kids. You'll be able to at least see the back of my head

unless they close the curtain. Is it sit in first class while the family sits behind them? Yes. Oh, man. I've heard about this. She wrote in to say, is it okay that my husband always insists on flying in first class while me and our kids are in coach? And she wrote in, of course, she wrote in anonymously

because she doesn't want the cops to find her when she will murder her husband She wrote quote he buys himself a ticket in first class and puts us in economy or economy plus He even did this recently on an overnight flight to Paris He justifies flying alone in first class because of the cost and the fact that our kids might feel alone If I were to travel in first with him and leave them in the rear cabin. Unquote. That's garbage.

Look, as someone who has gotten upgraded to first while their family didn't, this is the deal I strike with my partner. I'm like, either I sit in coach or you sit in first with the baby. So neither of us have a great time. Right. That's the most important. That's the compromise. Like, okay, you get to lie back and try to watch TV,

but the thing you're watching is Peppa Pig, and he's jumping up on you, up and down on you the whole time. Enjoy your complimentary cocktail then, ladies. Yes. Right. Correct. Coming up, our panelists get their big break on our Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY.

We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Maeve Higgins, Hari Kondabolu, and Mo Rocca. And here again is your host at the Sanger Theater in New Orleans, Louisiana. It's Peter Sago.

Right now it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff, the listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game in the air. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, Peter. This is Annie Heise from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania? Yeah. I love Pittsburgh. What do you do there?

I'm an oil painter. You are an oil painter. And do you actually make a living as a painter in the classic sense? I do, yeah. I mean, I've been making a living off of my work for almost five years now, but before that, for the past 20 years

before that, I did all kinds of stuff. Wow, well, good for you. I think that's pretty awesome whenever an artist manages to feed themselves. That's great. Annie, it's nice to have you with us. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Annie's topic?

My big break. Everybody dreams of a big break, that one perfect opportunity when you finally get the chance to do something to brag about at your high school reunion. Somebody got their unusual moment in the sun this week. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the one who's telling the truth, and you will win our prize, the weight-waiter of your choice on your voicemail. Are you ready to play?

I mean, I don't know if anybody's ever ready to play the bluff, the listener game, but sure, let's do it. All right, let's hear first from Mo Rocco. Janitors are responsible for a lot, cleaning, sanitizing, organizing supplies. Rarely, though, are they given the opportunity to perform surgery. But in 2020 at the Mainz University Hospital in Western Germany, that's just what happened. The surgeon needed an assistant to help perform a toe amputation. With no assistance on duty, he turned to the janitor. The janitor grabbed that brass ring, even though he already had a ring, a big one with lots of keys on it. It's not clear if he used one of those keys to saw off the toe, but the hospital's chief executive, Norbert Pfeiffer, has said that this should never have happened, and the surgeon was fired.

It should be noted that there were no complications, the janitor did just fine. It should also be noted that I often confuse Kimberly Clark with Kelly Clarkson. It should also be noted that I often confuse Kimberly Clark with Kelly Clarkson. A janitor at a hospital in Germany gets upgraded to surgeon for the moment. Your next stepping up story comes from Maeve Higgins. Over to Hollywood now, where TV writers are striking because they're about to be poor. Meanwhile, corporations like Disney and Netflix are ignoring them and pretending they're also about to be poor. The battle has consumed one Pasadena home where TV writer Tanya Barry lives with her 14-year-old daughter, Chey. Tanya has been striking for weeks now, but that didn't stop Chey from finishing one of her mom's

scripts and submitting it to a delighted executive. The signs were there all along. As a toddler, Che only wanted one book at bedtime, and it was Atlas Shrugged. She got two guinea pigs for her seventh birthday, and she named them Margaret Thatcher and Ronald Reagan. Last Halloween, she dressed as the invisible hand of the market. A spokesperson for Paramount said, we are thrilled with the quality of the script, the blow to the union, and also the reintroduction of child labour to our industry. Che now has a three-series deal with that studio,

plus a sleepover for eight friends on the set of Yellowstone and a chance to meet Ed Sheeran. A 14-year-old daughter of a striking Hollywood writer leaps at the chance to make her own mark in that industry. Your last right place, right time tale comes from Hari Kondabolu. Stand-up comedian Tom Shortliffe loves to tell jokes about being an identical twin.

It has led to such album titles as The Will to Twin, Guilty as Twin, and his joke rap song, Twin and Juice. Back in January at a club in Seattle, Tom opened a joke about twins being the oppressed minority group that no one ever talks about. Just the other day, I heard someone say to me and my brother, someone then interrupted, that you all look the same. Get it, everyone? He's an identical twin. The heckle got a huge laugh. Tom then foolishly said, well, if you think this is so easy, why don't you come up here and try it? And so the heckler, a man named Simon Ferguson, did just that. He started with a joke about Starbucks baristas being so bad at getting names right, they should have worked at Ellis Island. It killed. Tom left the stage and Simon did 45 more minutes. Since then, ABC has

picked up a sitcom starring Simon Ferguson, of course, called The Heckler. Meanwhile, Tom has had all his live dates dry up and is now living with his brother, who is in fact his fraternal twin, not identical twin, as Tom had claimed. Some would call this a lie, while others would say it was a twin-convenient truth. All right. Somebody got a sudden chance at stardom, was it, from Mo Rocca, a janitor in a hospital in Germany

who was suddenly called in to perform surgery himself and did so, from Maeve Higgins, the daughter of a striking Hollywood writer who took that opportunity to break the union and get her own career going, or from Hari Kondabolu, a comedian who made the terrible mistake of inviting a heckler on stage to try it himself, and the heckler ended up getting a fantastic career. Which of these is the real story of A Big Break? I think I heard this story, yeah.

I think it's the janitor with the toe or something. The janitor, you're choosing the janitor with the toe in the operating theater. Okay, that's good. All right, well, to bring you the correct answer, we spoke to someone with the inside scoop on the operating theater. Okay, that's good. Alright, well to bring you the correct answer we spoke to someone with the inside scoop on the real story. There was a surgeon and he just asked while he had his

bloody gait pants in his hand if the cleaner would come over and hold down the patient's leg. That was Rohan Gupta, a foreign news reporter at the Daily Mail, talking about this janitor's big moment in the hospital in Germany. Congratulations, Annie, You got it right.

Thank you. You're in a point for Mo, and you've won our prize, the voice of your choice on your voicemail. Congratulations. Fantastic. Thank you so much. Thank you for playing with us today. Take care.

Thank you. Bye. Bye-bye. And now the game where we like to find local heroes and let them earn a little more hometown cred. After achieving huge success in TV shows like Roseanne and movies by the Coen brothers and many others, John Goodman decided he didn't want to raise his family in Los Angeles, that cesspool of sin and temptation. So he came here to New Orleans. Thank you very much,

Peter. Thank you. It's an honor to be here. It's such an honor to have you. We're all a little intimidated because if any of us were to name our top five favorite movies, you'd just be in three of them. That's how it is um but that story is true you you were out in LA you were doing extraordinarily well as an actor and you were like I can't raise my family here well I found out a long time ago I could pretty much live wherever I wanted yeah and uh if we moved here I married a Louisiana girl from Bogalusa and I reckon she could be near her parents when I was on the road all the time. Yeah?

Yeah. And did it work out the way you wanted? Was New Orleans just what you were hoping for? Better, better than. I'd been coming down here for years. I just love it here. And, you know, it couldn't be better. Have they accepted you eventually?

Because I'm told people from New Orleans are a little suspicious of people from away. Who cares? Have they accepted you eventually? Because I'm told people from New Orleans are a little suspicious of people from away. Who cares? Everybody's very pleasant. How long do you have to live here before you can say, like, Nolens? Or does, like, nobody ever says that? That's how you are. Or New Orleans. That's how they know. Okay, so it's not Nolens. It's not New Orleans. That's how they know.

Okay, so it's not New Orleans. It's not New Orleans. What is it? New Orleans. New Orleans. New Orleans. Or if you're from uptown, New Orleans. New Orleans.

That's after a couple of drinks. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Are people in New Orleans cool when they see you on the street? Like, oh, yeah. They don't care. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Are people in New Orleans cool when they see you on the street? Like, oh, yeah. They don't care. Yeah, that's right.

They really don't. That must be great. Yeah, everybody's nice. And yeah, they don't care. It's just, how you doing? Yeah. Where you at? That's good.

You've adopted that. That's good. Usually, we always ask people like yourselves what role you're most known for. And usually, when we ask that, we always ask people like yourselves, uh, what role you're most known for. And usually when we ask that, we can guess. In your case, I absolutely can't because you've done so many different things over the years. Some, some of them like incredibly iconic, like you were the dad and the most successful

sitcom of the nineties. Roseanne, you were in like those Coen brothers movies, the big Lebowski. You were like, you know, Roseanne, you were in like those Coen Brothers movies, the Big Lebowski, you were like, you know. And I couldn't guess. You were like Sully in like some beloved children's movie, Monsters, Inc. So is there an answer? Is there something that most people like go for immediately? It's usually, if they're tourists, it's Big Lebowski. If they're younger, they grew up on Roseanne. Right. But yeah, it's between those two.

Did you know that movie in particular was going to become what it has become, which is this enormous cult? Absolutely not. And I had so much fun doing it, I really didn't care. Really? I didn't care if they released it. No, we had a ball making it, and the script was just so damn good. Right. I never gave it a thought. I heard somebody that one of the Coen brothers said about you and they were trying

to describe your appeal and why they love using you in their movies. They said, he's like this normal guy, but he's crazy. And I was like, because it's genuinely weird in certain of your roles certainly in Roseanne and then the Connors and in the Monsters Inc movie you can be absolutely adorable and cuddly

and you have also played roles in which you are none of those things and are kind of scary if you're cuddly and adorable there's got to be a reason why, and it's usually filthy. Really? So you're telling, like, Sully from Monsters, Inc. has a terrible backstory? You don't want to know.

Yeah, he stopped killing... He decided just last month to stop killing people, and he's really trying to make up for it. In 3D! Yeah! Your latest thing is a TV show on Max Max Max

Max Called The Righteous Gemstones It must have been great when you got that off It was like, oh wow, I've always wanted to do a prestige drama on Max And The Righteous Gemstones is another show from Danny McBride, who made Eastbound and Down and Vice Principals. And in this show, it's about a family of megachurch

preachers, evangelists, and you play the patriarch of this very wealthy, very influential family. Yeah, the head preacher. What was the appeal of this particular show? The way, when I read it, I just wanted to do it immediately. And plus, I got to do a little preaching. Sure. I always thought if the acting thing didn't work out, I'd give myself a tent.

Really? Hit the circus, you know, tell fortunes, preach a little bit, guess, wait. Yeah, you can do that. A little car black. We also thought, you're from St. Louis originally. Yes. And we heard that when you fly into the St. Louis airport, you are greeted, like the baggage lane,

by the voice of John Goodman. Is that the case? I haven't flown into St. Louis for so long, I don't know. Really? You remember? It sounds great to me. Yeah. Well, you know, Bill here is the voice of Chicago at the Chicago airport.

So we have like the voice of two American cities. And I did a voice at New York. I'm walking along here. It's our Fred Ratto. That's me. It's our Fred Ratto. That's me. Well, John Goodman, it is absolutely a thrill to talk to you in real life, I have to say. But we have invited you here to play a game we're calling...

You're a good man, but who's a good boy? You were thinking, good man? Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy? Dogs. We're going to ask you three questions about man's best friend. Answer two. Yeah, there you go.

Answer two of them correctly, you'll win our prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is John Goodman playing for? Eric McDonnell of New Orleans, Louisiana. How can I screw this up? Could be a neighbor. Could be coming over if you mess this up. All right, you ready to do this? Yes, sir.

All right. One of the Russian space dogs, one with the name of Brave, was a very good boy. He distinguished himself before his launch into space back in the 60s. How? A, he tore up a Neil Armstrong chew toy on Russian state TV. A, he tore up a Neil Armstrong chew toy on Russian state TV. B, he humped the rocket, a tradition all cosmonauts now do before launches for good luck. Or C, brave, true to his name, ran away the day before his launch.

I'm going to opt for C. That's what he did. Much as we all love humping rockets, I'm going to go for Steve. Yeah, he got the hell out of there. He was not the only Russian space dog to run away the day before the launch. So did a dog named Bobik, who was replaced, and I'm serious, with a dog they named Substitute for Bobik. All right, that was very good. You have dogs, right? Yeah, two.

They're waiting for me at home. Are they really? Yeah. What are they up to when you're away? One got my corn dog last night. You know how painful that can be. Oh, sorry. All right, second question.

Many a great author has had a good boy, a doggy as a companion, such as which of these? All right, second question. Many a great author has had a good boy, a doggy as a companion, such as which of these? A, Shakespeare's dog Marlow once dug up and brought home a human skull, inspiring a very big scene in Hamlet. B, John Steinbeck's dog Toby ate the first draft of Mice and Men, forcing him to rewrite it.

Or C, David Foster Wallace's dog Mr. Pickles, who also only pretended to have read Infinite Jest. As a pretender myself, I'm going to go with B. You're going to go with B, that John Steinbeck's dog ate the manuscript. That's right. Steinbeck wrote in his journal in 1937 minor tragedy my pup left alone one night made confetti of about half

of my manuscript book did he have a corn dog on it that's a lesson don't leave your corn dog on your manuscripts okay now if you really want to see the best good boys in the world you have to go to the Westminster dog show what's one thing trainers do there

to make sure their dogs give their best performance at the dog show? A, they give them doggy ozempic. B, the night before the show, trainers sleep in the crate, dogs sleep in the bed. Or C, during the competition, to make sure the dogs maintain constant eye contact with the trainer, the trainers keep a dog treat in their own mouth. C. Yes! Spoken! dogs maintain constant eye contact with the trainer. The trainers keep a dog treat in their own mouth. See.

Yes. Spoken. Like a dog owner. And trainers, if you're listening out there, next time, try a corn dog. They put the treat in their... They put the treat in their own mouth and they kind of hold it there

and the dog keeps the dog focused on them. Oh, I hope they dog focused on them. Oh, I hope they scrape their tongue afterwards. Yeah. Bill, how did John Goodman do in our quiz? He is in rare company. John, you got them all right. You're a winner. Wow.

You think this will finally make the people in New Orleans treat you special? I hope so. Yeah, I know. John Goodman is a show business legend who you can see in the new season of HBO's Righteous Gemstones. It premieres on June 18th. John Goodman, everybody. In just a minute, we have good news for new parents needing some help around the house in our Listener Limerick Challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join

us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Maeve Higgins, Mo Rocca, and Hari Kondabolu. And here again is your host at the Sanger Theater in New Orleans, Louisiana, it's Peter Sago. Thank you, Bill. In just a minute, Bill sings in perfect rhyminy in our listener limerick challenge game. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT.

That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, it's time for more questions from this week's news. Moe, writing in the New York Times, a therapist confessed that she and her colleagues sometimes have trouble concentrating on what their patients are saying during sessions. Why? Because they are listening to podcasts at the same time. They are bored.

Their patients are, they don't speak English. No, no, no, no. I'll give you, I'll give you a hint. This problem really puts the P and you have PTSD. Oh, they're urinating? No, not, it's not that they are doing that. It's that they have to do it. Oh, no, because the therapists need to relieve themselves,

and it's very difficult. Why? Apparently, this is a common problem. He's not squirming because he's reliving your trauma with you. Therapists apparently only get a few minutes between sessions, right?

So they don't always have the chance to run to the bathroom. This is why once in a while, your therapist might say, I need you to get over your fear of abandonment, so I'm going to leave you alone here for a few moments. It must be terrible to patients' trauma. And it was a rainstorm and the rain just kept coming down. It was terrible. Sheets of rain. My feelings came across me like a river, a flowing river.

My feelings came across me like a river, a flowing river. The teardrops went tinkle, tinkle, tinkle. I don't want to know that my therapist is a human being like me. I don't want to see them as fallible. I want to be like, oh, please, demigod, heal me. I don't want to be, oh, you pee like me? You also have feelings? You see a therapist too? Then what the hell is this all for?

Wasn't there a children's podcast? I think you've really made progress. Ten years in it, not giving up yet. Maeve, this week we learned some very helpful news. Never getting compliments is actually a sign that you are what? Perfect. Gorgeous. Yes, gorgeous. Yes, indeed. If you have never been complimented,

take it as a compliment. Yeah, because if they're complimenting you, they're just remembering what you looked like the last time. Do you know what I mean? You mean like, oh, Maeve, you look great. And what you hear them saying is, last time I saw you, you looked terrible. Yeah, yeah. You mean like, oh, Maeve, you look great. And what you hear them saying is, last time

I saw you, you look terrible. Yeah, yeah. They're like, oh, you're still here with us. Yeah. Another way that people apparently react to the very attractive, averting their eyes and shuddering. Yeah, that happens. That happens to me. I see guys, they just take one look at me and they're, oh, oh. And they're just shaking. They look at me, and they're, oh, oh. And they're just shaking. They're like, my feelings of admiration are like, oh. They just turn away, and they can't bear it. The beauty. Yeah.

Exactly. I say, fellas, my eyes are up here when I'm pointing. You know where I'm pointing. Yeah. All right. Mo, marine officials say they have noticed orcas engaging in a strange new behavior.

The orcas in the Atlantic are teaching one another how to do what? Oh, to spoon. It's so cute. It is adorable. They're teaching each other it's an aggressive behavior. They're teaching each other how to fight. But fight what?

Fight barely. No. Boats, people. Boats, yes. The orcas are attacking boats. Somewhere in the Mediterranean right now, Lauren Sanchez is like, Jeff, look, those orcas are coming over to greet us.

Groups of orcas, or as they're called, killer whales, have sunk three boats off the coast of Spain since the beginning of this month. And this is true. The tactic is spreading from one group of whales to others. It's like an ocean version of Masterclass. And nobody knows why they're doing it. It's possible they mean well.

Like, hey, that shiny floating thing has captured those funny monkeys. Let's save them! Is it a toy to them? Like, I can't really get the size in my head. Like, is it a giant whale and a tiny ship? I think they're smaller boats. I mean,

because if an orca attacked a big ship, I don't think the ship would notice. It's like a boat in a bath. Yeah, exactly. Or like how donkeys have frisbees or something like that. What? Like, is that the ratio? Like donkey is to whale as frisbee is to boat? Yeah.

And these are also, these are not, these are ultimate donkeys. These are not mini donkeys, these are regular donkeys. Well, yeah, I mean, I assume that. Yeah. So is that the size? No! I was wondering. How does a donkey pick up a

frisbee and throw it? Because they're so cute and clever. Did you see a video? I saw this in the donkey shelter near where I live in Ireland. And you'd be surprised. That's why, as soon as I heard whales, that's so surprising. as I heard whales you thought donkeys

that's so surprising maybe they're playing because they love to wrestle with it and throw it up in the air and catch it and you'd be surprised because you don't think of those things together no we don't Hey, it's Peter Sagal here to say thank you to our Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Plus supporters. I would come to each of your homes, but I've got small children at home. You know how it is. If that's you, make sure you check out our regular bonus episodes, like

this week, our extended interview with Weird Al Yankovic. And you can enter for a chance to play our subscriber quiz game, the Wait, Wait, Wayback Machine, which, by the way, is a great way to join us for some news trivia without the pressure of having to play the game in front of, like, 800 live people

and God knows how many million listening on the radio. Find out how by listening to our bonus episodes. Sign up to hear them at plus.npr.org. Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924.

You can see us live most weeks back at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago or at Tanglewood in western Massachusetts on June 22nd in Portland, Oregon, July 20th. And the Wait, Wait! Stand-Up Tour is coming to Frederick, Maryland, Richmond, Virginia, Charleston, South Carolina, and Durham, North Carolina in June and July. Tickets and more information is at nprpresents.org. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait! Don't Tell Me. Hi, my name is Nina, and I am is at NPR presents.org. Hi, you're on. Wait, wait, don't tell me.

Hi, my name is Nina and I am from Knoxville, Tennessee. That's great. Knoxville. Yes. How things are happening in Knoxville. What do you do there? Well, you may not believe this, but I am a professional limerick rider. Whoa.

Are you? I am a professional limerick rider. What? Cool. Ooh. Hi, Nina. Are you? I thought we employed the only one in the world. Well, welcome to the show, Nina. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly,

two of the limericks will be a winner. Here is your first limerick. Getting washed shouldn't take a whole hour. All these nozzles and heads make me cower. Some drizzle, some steam. Where's the spray to get clean? I am baffled by this hotel's shower. Yes, shower. High-end hotels are getting more and more complaints about how complicated their showers are. Like, why are there three knobs? What are they? Hot, cold, and surprise me?

According to the Washington Post, newer hotels prioritize having more, quote, immersive showers, which just means they have that separate butt sprayer thing. But... Is that what that's for? Yes. Okay.

Sure it is. What? Yeah, that's what that's for. The problem is people cannot figure out how to turn these things on. Many guests are inspecting their showers right as they enter the room to make sure they know how to use it, only to realize it's a stick shift shower and they never learn. Nina, here is your next limerick.

Okay. Your teen can't put socks in his drawers? Well, my toddler re-hung the bar doors. Start with stuff that's not hard. They're re-sodding the yard. Kids are never too young to do. Kids are never too young to do... Kids are never too young to do... To do chores!

Chores it is! Good news, lazy parents. Developmental pediatricians say that toddlers are perfectly capable of doing chores around the house. It's like I always say, in my house, if you can play on the grass, you can mow it. But these people say that kids as young as two can help with chores

like sweeping the floor or watering plants, even washing the dishes. You will end up... Sweeping the chimney. Yes, exactly. Drop them right down. Dragging the cart down into the mine.

That's something they can do. Okay, Nina, here is your last limerick. My jokes are becoming less crude as my body is openly viewed. My soul is laid bare as is my derriere. As my stand-up is done in the... Rude and... There's a bear derriere. Yes, in the air.

I'll give it to you. The answer is nude. Nude, you see. Oh, my God. Nude, you see. Yes, the Naked Comedy Show is one of New York's most popular stand-up nights. It features a rotating list of comedians with one caveat.

They have to deliver all their material in the nude. It's a big risk for the performers. It's never a good sign if your biggest laugh comes before you tell any jokes. I haven't been asked to do it yet. Yeah, I can't imagine. You've been sending them the videos, though, right? Bill, how did Nina do? Nina got two out of three,

and that's enough for a win. So great. Thank you so much. I had so much fun. Thank you so much for being on the show. All right, now it's time for our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank.

Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Hari has two, Maeve has two, Moe has four. Oh, my goodness. Hari, you're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question.

Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, a Manhattan judge set a date for Blank's upcoming criminal trial. Donald Trump. Yes. This week, the leader of Russia's largest mercenary group said the war with Blank could trigger a Russian revolution. Ukraine. Yes. On Tuesday, a man from Missouri was arrested after crashing a U-Haul truck into barriers near the blank.

Canada. No, near the White House. A Minnesota landlord was charged with arson after firefighters arrived to find his building on fire and blank blasting from his windows. Firecrackers. No, the song, We Didn't Start the Fire. On Wednesday, the parts of Guam lost power after being hit with a super blank.

Storm. Hurricane. Typhoon. They call them typhoons there. On Tuesday, the Surgeon General warned of the potential risk that blank poses to teens. Social media. Yes. This week, officials in Norway had to warn civilians that blank may be working as a Russian spy.

What is a gnome? No, this week, Norway warned civilians that Hvaldemir, the friendly whale, may be a Russian spy. The government told the public to avoid this friendly beluga whale, who's been approaching people and following boats. Officials said they knew something was up when the whale offered to do tricks in exchange for either herring or state secrets. Bill, how did Hardy do in our quiz? Four right,

eight more points, total of ten goes into the lead. Alright. Maeve? We have arrived at that point in our show and in our relationship where I ask you fill-in-the-blank questions and you answer them as quickly as you can. No problem. Here we go. Here we go, Maeve, fill-in-the-blank questions, and you answer them as quickly as you can.

No problem. Here we go. I'm looking forward to it. Here we go, Maeve. Fill-in-the-blank. On Tuesday, South Carolina lawmakers passed a six-week blank ban. Legislative. Abortion ban.

This week, the January 6th rioter who put his feet on blank's desk was sentenced to 54 months in prison. Barack Obama. No. Nancy Pelosi. This week, a couple in the U Barack Obama. No. Nancy Pelosi. This week, a couple in the UK finally convinced an insurer to pay for the damage to their pool

caused by blank. In the UK? In the UK. And they have a pool? They do. This isn't checking out. No. No, the pool was damaged

when an entire herd of water buffalo fell into it. In exchange for increased federal funding, several states have agreed to cut their use of the blank river. Mississippi. No. The Colorado River. This week, a man in Seattle was brought to the hospital

after what he thought was a brand of NOS, brand energy drink, turned out to be blank. No. Not that thing. Yeah, it turned out to be not that. No, it turned out to be a different thing. It turned out to be a bottle of NOS brand high-performance engine additive. Doctors were confused by the man's symptoms at first,

which included agitation, vomiting, and going zero to 60 in 10 seconds. But fortunately, his girlfriend found the empty bottle, allowing the doctors to breathe a sigh of relief, because at least he didn't drink an energy drink. How did she do, Bill? Bill, how did Maeve do on our quiz? Maeve is back. She got none. She got none.

There you are. Perfect. I think really the question is, Bill, how many does Mo need to win? Three to tie and four to win. Okay. Look out. Look out. Not possible.

Never been. Mo, this is for the game. On Tuesday, GOP donor Harlan Crowe rejected senators' demands for a list of gifts given to blank. Clarence Thomas. Yes. On the one-year anniversary of Uvalde, President Biden renewed his calls for stricter blank laws. Gun control.

Yes. On Tuesday, France banned short flights on routes that are already served by high-speed blank. Air balloons. High-speed rail. After putting on over 12 pounds of clothing from her luggage to avoid a baggage fee, a woman in Australia discovered blank. Love.

I think so. No, she discovered that her bag was still overweight and she had to pay the fee anyway and then fly with 12 pounds of clothes on. According to a new report from the WHO, artificial blanks do not help with weight loss. Oh, artificial sweeteners. That's right. On Wednesday, music legend Blank passed away at the age of 83. The one, the only, the fearless Tina Turner.

Yes, this week a superintendent at a school in Michigan assured parents that reports of an alien invasion were not true and were started by Blank. They were started by town gossips. No, they were started by a kid trying to get out of a math test. Okay. Bill, did Mo do well enough to win? He tried so hard. He got four right, eight more points, but his total of 12

means he's the winner. Oh, there you are. Magnificent victory. Inspiring. You had really difficult competition. Yeah, I know. In just a minute, now that HBO Max has become Max, our panelists predict what would be the next big company to change its name. But first, let me tell you that.

Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Aircraft Productions, Doug Berman, benevolent overlord, Philip Godeka, Reiser Limerick, our public address announcer, is Paul Friedman, our tour manager is Shana Donald. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Sanger Theatre in New Orleans. BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced

by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, Lillian King, and a little girl ghost who tugs on your blankets at night. Peter Gwynn is our on-call veterinarian. Big thanks to Monica Hickey, technical directionist from Lorna White, our CFO is Colin Miller, our production manager is Robert Newhouse,

our senior producer is Ian Chilock, and the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mike Danforth. Now, panel, what will be the next company to change its name? Hardy, come to Bolu. After much public demand, Starbucks is officially changing its name to Public Restroom.

MoRocca. To sex up its image, AT&T will change its name to TT&A. And Maeve Higgins. McDonald's is changing its name to Old McDonald's and exclusively serving the elderly in their burgers. Well, if any of that happens, we're going to ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Bill Curtis.

Thanks also to Maeve Higgins, Harikanda Balu, Marocca. Thanks to everyone at WWNO and also WRKF. Thanks to our fabulous audience here in New Orleans. And thanks to all of you for listening at home. I am Peter Sagal, and we'll see you next week. This is NPR.