Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - WWDTM: Karen Allen
Episode Date: June 24, 2023We're back in Tanglewood and joined by the amazing Karen Allen, who plays the iconic Marion Ravenwood in the Indiana Jones movies. She joins Karen Chee, Roy Blount, Jr. and Negin Farsad to talk spitti...ng in auditions, Tom Selleck, and working with snakesLearn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy
Transcript
Discussion (0)
From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz.
Good news, everyone.
Not only is my voice beautiful, it also repels mosquitoes.
I'm Bill Curtis, and here's your host outside of Tanglewood in western Massachusetts, Peter Sagal.
Thank you, Bill.
Thank you, everybody.
It's so good to be back.
So wonderful to be with you. Later on, we're going to be joined by Karen Allen, the star of huge cultural touchstone
movies like Animal House and the Indiana Jones films.
But first, let me tell you, it is such a delight to be back at Tanglewood, where, yes, this
beautiful outdoor music venue in the Berkshires, where, believe it or not, we are opening their
2023 season.
True.
The season's marketing slogan on all the banners and billboards, 2023.
It's all uphill from here.
Help us kick things off by calling us in to play our games.
The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT.
That's 1-888-924-8924.
Let's welcome our first listener contestant.
Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Hey, this is Max calling in from Madison, Wisconsin.
Hey, Max.
How are things in Madison?
Things are great.
I just moved here to start my residency in psychiatry.
Oh, wow.
Now, have you lived in the Midwest before?
Yes, I grew up in Highland Park.
You did?
I just left Chicago.
I'm glad, because if you had moved to the Midwest
to do psychiatry, you might have been taken aback.
Like, how are you?
I'm fine.
Well, welcome to our show, Max.
Let me introduce you to our panel.
First up, a comedian and writer who is currently on strike. It's Karen Chee.
Next, a comedian and host of the podcast Fake the Nation, where you can now also get recaps of The Bear. It's Nagin Farsad.
Hello.
And a writer whose very delightful
sub stack is called Take Another Little Piece of My Heart Now.
It's our old friend Roy Blunt Jr.
Max, welcome to the show. You're going to play Who's Bill this time.
Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news.
If you can correctly identify or explain two of them, you will win our prize.
Any voice from our show you might choose on your voicemail.
Ready to play?
I am, thank you.
All right, here is your first quote.
I'm up for a cage match if he is.
That was Elon Musk agreeing to the tech billionaire fight of the century against whom?
Ooh, that's a good question.
Well, there are two ways of figuring this out.
One is with clues, and just by imagining which of them you'd most like to see punched in the face.
That's quite a few, but I think I'll go with the clue.
Oh, you're going to go with the clue.
Well, you'll be able to get tickets on Facebook Marketplace.
I will say Mark Zuckerberg.
It is Mark Zuckerberg, yes.
I feel the need to assure everyone everything I'm about to tell you is true.
A rumor that Facebook was working on a new competitor to Twitter got Elon Musk mad. They started going after each other
on social media, and then Elon Musk challenged Mark Zuckerberg to a fight. Zuckerberg accepted,
and it's going to go down in Las Vegas. Mark Zuckerberg has done the impossible. He has come up with a situation in which we are going to root for him.
I think Elon's going to get some kind of sympathetic support
because he's had an awful lot of bad turns lately,
and I wouldn't mind seeing either one
of them get beat up.
That's, that's the thing.
I mean, the big question is in an actual physical fight between Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk,
is there any way Jeff Bezos could somehow get kicked in the balls too?
It's tricky, too, because
we know Mark Zuckerberg only has one fight move
and it's a poke?
No, but apparently
he's been
practicing jiu-jitsu.
Yeah, he has. He has.
This is true. So people expect him
to dominate until the last minute when suddenly
out of nowhere, a self-driving Tesla will crash into the ring and run him over.
The two of them being like two of the most hated people in America fighting each other is kind of
like when the pandemic happened and all the rats started eating each other in New York City.
And all the people in New York were like, oh good, let them just have at it.
And all the people in New York were like, oh, good, let them just have at it.
Max, your next quote was a comment on a New York Times story that was published Thursday.
Having children in this economy?
Because it is in fact because fewer of us are having children that this week the population of the U.S. is finally more what than ever?
More adult?
Yeah, we're all older.
The U.S. is older than it has ever been as of this week.
Congratulations, everybody.
The new median age, yes, we did it, we aged.
The median age of the U.S. is now 38.9 years,
which means our entire country is spending every waking moment thinking about how it's almost 40.
But to be fair to America, 40, right? It's not old. It's middle-aged, right? Our symbol of the country is still the bald eagle, but now he's accepted it and given up the comb-over.
bald eagle, but now he's accepted it and given up the comb-over.
Because the median age is so much higher, does that mean that 80 is the new 35?
Like, does it work? Speaking as somebody who is 80, I would say no.
Maybe the new 74. Okay.
By the way,
the median age varies widely by state.
Some states are younger,
some states are older.
For example, in Maine,
the median age
is actually 45.
Wow.
Because there's that
one 200-year-old
lobster woman
that's throwing off the pole.
Max, here is your last quote.
How do I talk to people?
Now, that is a very popular Google search among college graduates
who are reportedly having a very hard time knowing how to act where?
In the workplace.
Exactly right, Max.
In the office, college graduates who have spent basically the last three years on Zoom
have been unleashed just now into the workplace
and they have no idea how to behave.
The Wall Street Journal reports
that they're struggling with office etiquette,
dress codes, and quote, elevator chit-chat.
On the other hand, they're incredible at knowing
when they are and are not muted.
I bet they can't gossip.
That's what I always, last time I was in an office, that's all we did.
It's so bad employers are offering remedial courses in basic human behavior,
including, and I'm not kidding, how to talk to other people.
This is real advice for recent college graduates.
Maintain eye contact.
Remember to pause once in a while and avoid slang.
It's all true, which implies that these new hires are all walking around the office,
staring at the ground and muttering about vibe checks in the fiscal reports.
Also, there should be a rule in there like you don't need to bring your ring light to your cubicle.
Right.
Yes.
And if you break wind, someone will hear
you. Now that's old school. Oh no. Yeah. Bill, how did Max do on our quiz? We're going to
give Max three rights. Congratulations. Well done, Max. Thank you so much.
Good luck in your medical practice.
We're going to need it.
Nice to be here, thanks.
Take care.
Right now, panel, some questions for you from the week's news.
Karen, according to the Wall Street Journal,
the hot new shopping destination for millionaires, one percenters, is where?
Mars.
No.
Venus.
The moon?
You're just going to work your way through the solar system, aren't you?
Is it on this planet?
It is on this planet.
Fifth Avenue.
No, that's what you would expect, right?
Oh, yeah.
What would I not expect?
Exactly.
Yellowstone.
I'd like one of those buffalo. I don't care about the cost. Pack it up and send it to me.
No, not Yellowstone. I'll give you a hint.
They're so rich they don't complain when the price is actually $1.10.
The dollar store?
The dollar store, yes.
Oops.
The dollar store?
The dollar store, yes.
High-income people are flocking to dollar stores,
presumably so they can prank their friends with fake house gifts when they go out to the Hamptons.
Can you believe, Phyllis, they make plates out of paper?
Can they all just do, like, a jujitsu cage match also?
Yes, all of them.
The journal says it's because rich people have finally figured out
that places like Whole Foods sell the same things,
but at much higher prices.
One person quoted said he was converted by, quote,
a kombucha and probiotic drink that was much cheaper down at the dollar store.
Please nobody tell him that was expired milk.
And someone's
costume had been ruined.
They also just discovered
this? Yeah, apparently. It's the latest
thing. Like this thing
that everyone has known for
decades, since the dawn of the
economy? Yeah, apparently.
Were they like, hey, that dollar
store, how much does stuff cost
in there?
I just learned
that it's cheap. The journal says
that a telltale sign of this is all the Mercedes
and Porsches in the dollar store
parking lots. And if you're interested in leaving
a message on any of those cars,
screwdrivers only cost a dollar.
It's all about dollars, quarters, nickels, and cents.
Coming up, somebody isn't who they say they are
in our Bluff the Listener game.
Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY.
We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me
from NPR.
From NPR in WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis.
We're playing this week with Roy Blunt Jr., Karen Chee, and Nagin Farsad.
And here again is your host at Tanglewood in western Massachusetts, Peter Stegall.
Thanks, everybody.
It is now time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff the Listener Game.
Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game in the air.
Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Hello, Peter, and my name is Margaret Formasano,
and I'm calling from New Paltz, New York.
New Paltz.
I know New Paltz.
It's a good place. It's a good place. It's a good place. What do you do there?
I am a concierge at the Mohonk Mountain House. The Mohonk Mountain House.
My favorite 19th century resort.
I love that place. It's this beautiful old Victorian pile on a lake there up in the Catskills.
And they didn't have alcohol until like, what, 10 or 20 years ago, right?
The 70s.
The 70s. 1970 is when they started actually introducing alcohol.
So when I went there in the 90s, they just lied to me.
All right.
Now I'm on to you. All right, fine. Well, welcome to our show,
Margaret. You're going to play the game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill,
what is Margaret's topic? Master of disguise. Who doesn't love a good impersonation? Good thing
that's a rhetorical question because the answer is lots of people don't like it. But this week we read about somebody in need of an impersonator,
and our panelists are going to tell you about that.
Pick the one who's telling the truth.
You'll win the weight-waiter of your choice in your voicemail.
Are you ready to go?
Yes, sir.
All right.
First, let's hear from Karen Chee.
Famous actor and man Al Pacino had a scheduling problem.
On the first Sunday of June, he had both the baptism for his new baby
and a big shoot day for the sequel to The Irishman, which is arguably the weirdest superhero in the
Marvel Cinematic Universe. So anyway, the Oscar winner did what any celebrity parent would do.
He hired an Al Pacino impersonator to do the kid thing so he could go do the fun thing.
to do the kid thing so he could go do the fun thing.
Unfortunately, Pacino made a crucial error.
It turns out he had accidentally hired a godfather impersonator,
not an Al Pacino impersonator.
The man just spent the whole ceremony in the back of the room,
kind of surrounded by guys who kept closing the door really slowly while maintaining eye contact.
Fortunately, the impersonator himself seemed to
have a great time. He spoke to everyone who came up to him and always said,
you come to me on the day of my baby's baptism.
Thank you. A perfect impersonator.
At first I was, yeah.
He was really good because he was the original.
An Al Pacino impersonator, who I hope was better than that.
No.
No.
No, impossible.
Hired by Al Pacino.
Your next story of imitation and demand comes from Nagin Farsad.
Mexican food, the great American cuisine, just got overrun by the strangest fraud.
Che Garibaldi, the owner of the Taqueria Garibaldi chain,
wanted to explore new ways of being a horrible boss.
He didn't trust his 35 employees in Sacramento and neighboring Roseville,
and so he did what any sociopath would do
and hired a fake priest to come to work and take confessionals.
That's right, he got a random guy,
probably a local improv comedian, because those dirtbags will do any gig, had them dress up in an over-the-top Catholic outfit
and take confessions from the staff. The fake priest also kept asking them to focus on work-related
sins like, I totally get that you're cheating on your wife,
but did you ever steal any supplies from the kitchen, my son?
Luckily, Garibaldi didn't get away with it.
The Department of Labor fined him $70,000 in damages
and $70,000 in back pay,
which in labor circles is what we call
an in-your-face-you-demented boss.
A boss. A boss tries to get his workers to narcan themselves by hiring somebody to imitate a priest. And your last story of someone making
a great impression comes from Roy Blunt Jr. His whole life, Ned Fortnum had been hearing from his father, Pete, what a great baseball career he, Pete, could
have had if he hadn't had Ned. And the whole story hinged on Dooley Womack. Old Dooley, Pete would say,
he was able to go on in baseball, pitch for the New York Yankees. I played against old Dooley before I had to quit, and I hit four home runs
off old Dooley in one game. Then one day, Ned ran into a stranger who said he had played high
school ball with Ned's dad because he was Dooley Womack's cousin. Do you look like Dooley quite a bit would you like to make some money
and that is why that very night Ned was able to say to his dad guess who I ran into he wants to
see you here he is old Dooley Womack do you know what Pete Fortnum said he He said, duly, damn, you have let yourself go. Of course, even when you were in
shape, I've owned you four homers one game. Yeah, Pete, but I did get you with the curveball one
time. A couple of nights later, Pete Fortnum died happy. All right.
Here are your choices from Karen Chee, Al Pacino,
having another obligation when he was supposed to be making a film,
hired an Al Pacino impersonator to attend his own son's baptism.
From Nagin Farsad, a taqueria owner hires a man to impersonate a priest,
try to get secrets from his own workers.
Or from Roy Blunt Jr., a heartwarming story of how a son finds somebody to imitate old Dooley Womack
and make his dad finally happy.
Which of these is the real story of an impersonator in the week's news?
B?
So your choice is B, Nagin's story about the taqueria owner.
That's your choice? All right.
Such a great story.
Well, to bring you the correct answer,
we found someone who has been following
the real story closely.
Hiring someone dressed up as a priest
to trick employees into confessing
is a twisted interpretation of Romans 6.23
for the wages of sin is death.
That was Daniel Sweat,
a union-side labor lawyer
with a degree in religious studies,
a man uniquely qualified to talk about the fake priest used by the now-busted employer in Northern California.
Congratulations, Margaret.
You got it right.
You're the point for Nagin.
But more importantly, you have won our prize.
Any voice you might like.
Thank you so much for playing.
And I'll see you at Mohonk sooner or later, I hope.
Take care.
Yes, sir.
And now the game where people
who've made their marks on history do something
that they probably won't even remember.
It's called Not My Job.
Karen Allen was a young theater actor when she was cast
in Animal House, a movie that became a legendary
touchstone of American culture.
And then just based on that,
she was asked to play
the lead in another little movie called
Raiders of the Lost Ark.
She is back on screen
in the latest, and we are told,
final sequel to that movie, Indiana Jones
and the Dial of Destiny. We are absolutely
thrilled to have her join us now.
Karen Allen, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. So let's start with Indiana Jones. You were cast in the
first movie, Raiders of the Lost Ark, even before Harrison Ford was, right? I was, yeah. Well,
I was, yeah.
Well, they had cast Tom Selleck in the role initially,
and then Magnum P.I. got picked up,
and they wouldn't let him out of his contract.
And then they began, you know,
Harrison was right there in their backyard because of Star Wars.
And also he was a carpenter.
He was probably fixing their fence or something.
So, first of all, I cannot get over Tom Selleck.
I can't get over the idea of Indiana Jones trying to sell me a reverse mortgage.
But let's not go there.
Instead, so you're a young actor.
You have done this movie that was this enormous hit, Animal House.
And they call you up and they say, hey, you seem pretty funny and charming and great. Would you come and do this movie with us?
What did they tell you about it?
The only thing, you know, I was living in New York City. I went in to meet
with Steven Spielberg. And I think one of the first things he said to me is, how well can you spit?
That's what he said. He said, how well can you spit? And I just found, coming out of my mouth, I said, oh, I can hawk him with the best.
Hell yeah, man.
I can hawk a loogie with the best.
That's the actor's response.
That's how you get ahead in the interview.
How well do I spit?
A camel ain't got nothing on me, friend.
Why did he want to know that?
I don't know.
I think he was trying to say she was kind of a tough character.
We meet her in a bar.
The script was very, very secretive.
They weren't letting anybody read anything.
And then when you were making the movie in Tunisia and all the places you were,
were you standing around going, so when do I spit?
Do you want me to spit on this
guy, Steve? Is that a thing? So I understand I was not the only person who was disappointed not
to see Marion return along with Indy in the first two sequels, if you follow me. And you're in the
new one, which is wonderful. And now that I know that, I'm willing to go see it, just so you know.
And how many snakes do they dump on you in this one?
No snakes in my scenes.
Right.
And we need to go back to the famous snake sequence in the tomb, in the well of souls.
Oh, boy.
Those were real snakes. Those were real snakes.
Those were real snakes.
6,000 snakes.
What?
6,000.
Can you imagine?
Were you like, could you guys CGI these?
You know what?
It was pre-CGI, and they actually had a really, really primitive thing
that they were trying to do.
There was this electronic grid on the floor with all of these snakes.
So they had this electronic grid of these rubber snakes that went like this.
For the radio audience, Ms. Allen is doing a convincing snake impersonation.
And from the very, very first time that they tried to shoot with it, it looked just terrible.
When I look at the film, I can actually see, because the real snakes are on top of this
grid, which for some reason they never pulled up.
They just poured snakes on top of it.
But they sent out this call out to India and all over.
We were in London at the time.
And all of a sudden, all these snakes just started arriving.
And there were three or four other films shooting at the Elstree Studios in London where we were.
And the snakes would get off our set and go on to other people's sets and come crawling across the set out of nowhere.
Yeah.
That explains the strange snake scene in a room
with a view.
I never understood that.
Why they're sitting there
in Tuscany and all of a sudden these snakes
crawl by. But now I know. That's great.
How is it that the United Kingdom
doesn't have enough of its own snakes?
I don't know.
That's a lot of snakes. 6,000 snakes.
Well, they really needed
a certain kind of snake that wasn't going to put us all in terrible, terrible danger.
Were they nice to you, the snakes?
I, you know, I actually, I'm not, fortunately for me, particularly frightened of snakes.
But a lot of them were a kind of snake called a glass snake, which is not a true snake.
But you could put your finger in its mouth
and it wasn't going to bite you.
Was it a worm?
No, no, they were, you know, they were good size.
Good size.
They looked like real snakes.
And then we had pythons that were quite dangerous.
Oh, sure.
Yeah.
So if you run into a snake now,
Me?
Do they recognize you?
I can imagine.
You've met so many.
We've heard about you, ladies.
She's very popular with nerds like me
and snakes.
And the snakes are like, oh man, can I have a selfie?
Damn it, I have no hands. I can't do it.
Well, I was, needless to say,
I was relieved when we left the snakes.
I can imagine.
Well, Karen Allen, it's so much fun to be with you,
and we have asked you here to play a game we're calling... Ah, refreshing.
The Washington Post ran a story this week
about the invention of pink lemonade
that was so amazing we used it to make a game for you.
Answer two out of three questions right,
and you will win our prize for one of our listeners.
Bill, who is Karen Allen playing for?
Will Kendler of Sudbury, Massachusetts. So, if you... The usual rules apply. If you get two right, Will will win
a voice of his choice on his voicemail. Ready to go? Here's your first question. The inventor of
pink lemonade was named Pete Conklin, who created it after he walked off his previous job,
which was what?
A, professor slash archaeologist.
B, ice cream man.
Or C, racist circus clown.
Well, gee, let me think.
I think I might go with Ice Cream Man.
No, he was a racist circus clown.
Really?
He was.
He was a circus clown with a very popular, very racist act.
It was Texas in 1857.
What do you expect?
All right, you have two more chances.
This is not a problem.
Okay.
I've lost all faith.
I know.
After he quit the circus, Mr. Conklin bought a covered wagon
and started driving it from town to town, selling lemonade out of the back.
It was a huge success.
How many lemons did he go through that summer?
A, one, B, 316, or C, over 11,000?
Oh, my God.
I don't know.
I'm sorry.
Darn.
What's the answer that would be the craziest one?
One.
One is the answer.
His lemonade was made of water, sugar, and tartaric acid
with one, one uncut lemon
dropped in the pitcher for appearance.
And he used the same lemon the whole summer.
No.
Yes.
Oh, my God.
This guy.
This guy.
Wow.
This racist clown lemonade guy.
All right.
Here's your final question.
Get this one.
Get this one.
I have to go for the less than obvious.
Yes, the less than obvious one.
Okay.
So he's like selling lemonade.
He's doing okay.
But then he comes up with a gimmick, pink lemonade.
Way more popular than his original lemonade.
In that first batch, where did the pink coloring come from?
A, a mold that was growing on that one lemon he still had in there.
B, Blood.
Or C. A circus performer's red tights.
Oh, no.
Come on.
Caught between the mold and the tights.
Aren't we all?
I'm going to go for the red tights.
You're right.
So he goes to make that day's batch of fake lemonade,
and there's no water in the well,
and the only water he can find was water that a circus performer
was using to wash her red tights.
He used the water to make the lemonade.
It tended up pink, and everybody loved it.
Because it all came out vaguely pink, or as he called it, strawberry.
Tastes great.
Bill, how did Karen Allen do on our quiz?
Two out of three.
Karen, that's a big win for you.
There you are.
You got a license.
Karen Allen, everybody.
Karen, that's a big win for you. There you are.
You got a license.
Karen Allen, everybody.
You can see Karen Allen in Indiana Jones
in the Dial of Destiny in theaters soon.
Karen Allen, thank you so much for joining us.
I'm waiting for you to come in.
What an absolute joy to meet you.
An absolute pleasure.
In just a minute, the newest thing in the vending machine may surprise you in our Listener Limerick Challenge.
Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us in the air.
We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz.
I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Nagin Farsad, Roy Blunt Jr. and Karen Chee.
Farsad, Roy Blunt Jr., and Karen Chee.
And here again is your host
at Tanglewood in western
Massachusetts, Peter Sagal.
Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody.
In just a minute, Bill rhymes
up Baby Gronk in our
Listener Lumerick Challenge. If you'd like
to play, give us a call at 1-888-
WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-WAIT-WAIT.
That's 1-888-924-8924.
But right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news.
Karen, apparently the latest hot accessory for cool grown-up parties is a what?
An accessory?
Yes.
May I have a hint, please? You can.
It's great because now adults can enjoy it without worrying about jumping on some annoying six-year-old.
A trampoline?
Close enough.
A bouncy house.
Whoa.
Yeah, adult bouncy houses.
Bouncy houses are being rented to adults-only parties complete with a DJ, a full bar, and an orthopedic surgeon right there.
Of course, I should say these days, we all know what it's like.
Many adults can't afford their own bouncy houses, so they move into their parents' bouncy
basement.
Millennials can't buy bouncy houses. They've been
having bouncy avocado toast. Exactly.
Wait, so
is everybody, like, wasted
and then bouncing?
Well, there are. There is liquor at these things.
Because, like, I imagine
there's a fair amount of, like,
bounce and vomit that might happen in that scenario.
Yeah, it's true.
But these are usually rented to children.
They've seen worse.
Nagin, the French Minister of Finance is under attack for writing what while in office?
Oh, he wrote like a scathing critique of the baguette.
And people were like, not in this country, mon frere.
No.
No, that wasn't it.
I'm just trying to imagine what a scathing critique of the baguette would be like.
Oh, Peter.
It is too long.
And too narrow.
Okay, okay, but give me a hint, though.
I'll give you a hint.
How do you say 50 shades of gray in French? Okay, okay, but give me a hint, though. I'll give you a hint. How do you say Fifty Shades of Grey in French?
Okay, wait.
He wrote, like, S&M fanfic?
I'm going to give it to you.
He wrote a dirty book.
In his spare time, Finance Minister Bruno Le Maire likes to write novels, including the latest, which has scenes that, according to various reports, quote, land somewhere between
erotica and shop talk at a
proctologist's convention, unquote.
Ooh la la.
From what I understand, it does have
a baguette in it. Yeah, that's true.
I would be, like, if someone
was like, guys, like, Biden
is writing erotica, I would be so
psyched. Like, why is the American, why is the French population so mad?
Well, they're upset because they say it's bad.
Nagin, if Biden wrote erotica, you would be psyched.
I mean, wouldn't we all?
I think it would be so exciting.
Hey, hey, how about a little malarkey?
be so exciting. Hey,
hey, how about a little malarkey?
He's like, let's get
bipartisan.
Karen, scientists are arguing
over whether a 40,000
year old carved pendant is
the first what known to history?
Necklace?
No, they believe it's a necklace.
They know that.
Okay.
The question is whether or not it represents what?
It is shaped like a what?
It's shaped like a cross?
No.
It's shaped like a heart?
You're getting there.
It is an organ.
Oh.
Oh. You're getting there. It is an organ. Ooh.
Is it a baguette?
You know, I'm just going to say yes.
Yes. Yes.
Scientists are debating whether this four centimeter long carved graphite pendant is the quote, I'll use their language, earliest known sext anthropomorphic representation, unquote, or what we will call a baguette.
Now, there's a lot of debate about this, right? We know that ancient humans used to do phalluses of various kinds and drawings, but they don't know if this one is one,
because it doesn't obviously look like one. I mean, it sounds like it was just like a cute little oval thing
and then some pervy scientist was like,
this is a penis.
Yeah.
Well, they're not sure.
It either came from an ancient fertility cult of some kind
that predated any of the ones we currently know about
or from Ashley's bachelorette party.
Hey, Mike Danforth, Wait Wait executive producer here, with a plug for our quiz game
The Wait Wait Wayback Machine.
It's a game we play with a Wait Wait
Don't Tell Me plus listener
where we challenge them with questions from the show that are no joke.
Oh, uh.
20 years old.
Was that Freedom Fries?
Play along.
Henry Kissinger?
For news trivia, you'll be surprised you remember.
Clown Babies?
Or wish you could forget.
Kim Jong Un.
Was that Czechoslovakia?
It was, of course, Joe Lieberman.
Oh, yeah.
We play with a new contestant every few weeks.
You can listen and learn how to enter for a chance to play
if you're a Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Plus supporter.
If you're not, you can sign up on our show page in Apple Podcasts
or at plus.npr.org.
Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank,
but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme.
If you'd like to play on air, you can call or leave a message
at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT.
That's 1-888-924-8924.
You can come see us most weeks back home
at the lovely Studebaker Theatre in downtown Chicago.
And we've added a second show when we visit
Ann Arbor on September 1st.
And we will be at the Greek
Theater in Los Angeles on September
28th. Plus, check out
the Wait, Wait! Stand-Up Tour, headed to
Charleston, South Carolina on July 14th
and in Durham, North Carolina on July 15th.
Tickets and info about all of that
can be found at nprpresents.org. Hi, you're on. Wait,
wait, don't tell me. Hey, it's Elizabeth Elsworth calling in from New York, but I'm actually living
in Chicago these days. How are you? We're great. We're great. So you're in New York. What are you
doing there? So I'm here for business. I work for FinTech, so I get to come out to New York. And
at the moment, I'm staying at my daughter's tiny little apartment in the
Lower East Side and enjoying
some great Thai food. Well, that's great. Those are
good things to do in New York. And you're looking at how your
daughter lives in this tiny little apartment
for which she pays, I'm sure, a fortune. And what are you thinking
about her life?
Actually, I'm thinking it has a great
future. If you can learn to live
in a tiny little place and be happy, you can pretty
much learn to do anything. There you go. That's a good attitude.
Well, welcome to the show, Elizabeth. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks
with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase
correctly into the limericks, you will be a winner. You ready to play? Yes, I am. Here we go. Here is your first limerick. My cranial bulk
I maintain with this exercise, which has no strain. I lie down for a nap and this is no cap.
It's preserving the size of my brain. Brain, yes. According to the Guardian newspaper,
Brain, yes. According to the Guardian newspaper, taking short naps during the day helps prevent your brain from shrinking.
Which is great news. It's another excuse to take a nap.
But now we have to worry about our brain shrinking.
But wait till our brains just like get small?
They do. Nothing better than seeing somebody you haven't seen in a while and they look at you and they go like, hey,
have you lost some brain?
Here is your next limerick. We think cigarettes
shouldn't be sold.
So check out what our coin vendors
hold. Some people
like sweets. We vend
permanent treats.
It's not silver or bronze.
It is... Gold.
Gold, yes.
In South Korea, you can now buy gold bars in a vending machine.
What?
Yeah.
I was just living there.
And did you not see this?
No.
I used to get coffee in vending machines, though.
Really?
Basically the same thing.
Well, next time, be careful what button you hit, because you might get a gold bar.
The bars come in five sizes.
The most popular is the smallest 0.13-ounce size,
which costs about $225.
Can you imagine, like, feeding $224 bills
into a vending machine to get your gold bar,
and then the last one just won't go in?
Or, like, your gold bar gets gets stuck and it doesn't come down.
Oh, I hate that.
And then you're going to buy the platinum one behind it
just to get the gold one that you wanted.
All right, here is your last limerick.
These berries no longer are cute.
And this apple's a giant galoot.
And I feel like a pig if I finish a fig
because the stores are all selling oversized fruit.
Yes, fruit.
Most things at the grocery store
are getting smaller with shrinkflation,
but fruit apparently is getting gigantic.
Strawberries are the size of apples.
Apples are the size of melons.
Melons are the size of two melons.
According to an article on The Takeout, there are multiple reasons for this. Apples are the size of melons. Melons are the size of two melons. According to an
article on The Takeout, there are multiple reasons for
this. Sometimes it's intentional because, like,
larger blueberries stay ripe
longer in the store shelves. It's partially
related to climate change. Heat makes things grow
bigger. And also, fruit is really good at taking
naps, so their brains are enormous.
I think that's true. Pumpkins.
Pumpkins are so big.
You want to wake a pumpkin up.
Yeah.
It's getting to the point where you can't
finish a pumpkin at a single meal.
It's terrible.
Bill, how did Elizabeth do in our quiz?
She did great.
She's a winner.
Congratulations, Elizabeth.
We'll see you back home in Chicago.
Thank you so much. It's a thrill to be on the show. I absolutely love it.
Thrilled to have you. Thank you so much. And give our best to your daughter.
Thank you. Take care. next big thing. You ought to know
this is the next
big thing.
Now it is time for our
final game. Lightning fill in the blank. Each of
our players will have 60 seconds in which to
answer as many questions as
they can. Each correct answer
now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?
Roy has two. Nagin and Karen
each have three. Oh my goodness.
Okay. So that means, Roy,
you are in third, or shall we say
in second, as they're tied for first. So you
will go first. The clock will start when
they begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Thursday,
Ocean Gate Expeditions said
their submersible had suffered a catastrophic
explosion near the wreck of the blank.
The Titanic. Yeah. On Monday, a new catastrophic explosion near the wreck of the blank. The Titanic.
Yeah.
On Monday, a new trial began for jailed Putin critic blank.
Oh, Navalny.
Alexei Navalny, right.
This week, the Federal Trade Commission accused Amazon of tricking people into signing up for blank.
Not books, surely.
Amazon Prime, you see.
On Wednesday, officials in China called on President Biden to apologize for calling blank a dictator.
Xi.
Yes, Xi Jinping.
Under pressure from Christian groups, officials in Poland said that the blank bus route would no longer make stops in blank.
The Warsaw bus would no longer make stops in Warsaw.
No, they promised that the 666 bus route would no longer make stops in hell, No, they promised that the 666 bus route
would no longer make stops in hell,
which is a town in Poland.
This week, a new 57,000-year-old Neanderthal engraving
was uncovered in blank.
In the dollar store.
No.
In France, on Sunday,
Wyndham Clark beat Rory McIlroy
to win his first U.S. Open blank championship.
Golf.
Yes.
In London, a luxury apartment featuring a bathroom with a blank went on sale.
A bathroom with a toilet.
No, a bathroom with clear glass walls.
That's right.
For just $2.5 million, you can horrify every guest that ever comes over to your place.
Bill, how did Roy do on our quiz?
He got four right, eight more points.
He has a total of 10 to take the lead.
All right.
Well done, Roy.
Karen, I'm going to choose you arbitrarily to go next, so please fill in the blank.
After reaching a deal with the DOJ, Hunter Biden agreed to plead guilty to two charges of failing to pay blank. Taxes. Yes, federal taxes. As their counteroffensive continues,
soldiers in blank recaptured another Russian-held village. Ukraine. Right. This week, President
Biden met with Narendra Modi, the prime minister of blank. India. Yes. On Tuesday, it was reported
that China and Cuba were in talks to set up a military training facility 100 miles from the coast of blank. Cuba.
No, Florida.
This week, a gas station clerk in Oklahoma who wanted to leave work early was accused of blanking.
Sleeping?
No, convincing his friend to rob the store.
According to new research, several new drugs have shown signs of slowing the cognitive decline caused by blank.
Alzheimer's?
Yes. This week, a contestant on The Price is Right
was so excited about winning an all-expenses-paid trip
to Hawaii that he blanked.
He vomited.
No, he dislocated his shoulder while pumping his fist.
Oh, no.
Once the adrenaline wore off
and he got to the showcase showdown,
the contestant's arm was so bad
that his wife had to come up and spin the wheel for him.
He's fine now, but sadly, his trip to the ER was not also all expenses paid.
Bill, how did Karen do on our quiz?
Very well. Karen got four right, eight more points.
She has 11 now, which puts her in the lead.
Very well done. All right.
So how many, then, does Nagin need to stroll in and take it from her?
Four to tie, five to win.
All right.
Here we go, Nagin.
This is for the game.
On Tuesday, Judge Eileen Kennan set an August trial date for Blank's stolen documents case.
Sure.
Yes.
Following another deadly fire, officials in New York are pushing to regulate Blank batteries.
Electric bike.
Yes.
This week, Jerome Powell said it was likely the Fed would raise blank rates again.
Interest rates.
Yes.
This week, a candidate for mayor of Toronto was accused of using AI
to make his campaign posters after a journalist noticed blank.
That it was super pixelated.
No, that one of the women in his poster, carefully listening to him, had three arms.
On Monday,
thousands of people lined up to view the
Emancipation Proclamation in commemoration
of blank?
Of Juneteenth? Yes. On Wednesday, the
ongoing blank strike passed the 50-day
mark. Writer's strike. Yes.
After discovering how expensive rent in New York was,
a new intern discovered she could save money
by simply blanking.
Um, by selling her organs.
No.
By commuting, by flying from South Carolina to New York,
then taking an Uber into Manhattan.
What?
The new intern says her commuting plan,
again, flying to Newark Airport in New Jersey, I should say,
then taking an Uber into Manhattan,
saves her $2,000 a month versus renting in the city.
Which is great, because she can put all that money
towards physical therapy after having to fly
in a middle seat with no leg room for three months straight.
Bill, did Nagin do well enough to win?
Wait for it.
Five, right, ten more points.
Thirteen puts her in the lead.
Oh, my God. She saw, she conquered. at five, right, ten more points. Thirteen puts her in the lead. And it's good for her.
She saw. She conquered.
In just a minute,
we're going to ask our panelists to predict after Elon and Zuckerberg go at it,
what famous people will get into a cage
match next.
But first, let me tell you that
Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ
Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut
Productions,
Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord,
Philip Godeka, Rezar Limericks.
Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman.
Our tour manager is Shana Donald.
BJ Lederman composed our theme.
Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills,
Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King.
Special thanks to Blythe Roberson and Monica Hickey.
Peter Gwynn is our wood detangler.
Our vibe curator is Emma Choi.
Technical direction is from Lorna White.
Our CFO is Colin Miller.
Our production manager is Robert Newhouse.
Our senior producer is Ian Shillog. And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Michael Danforth.
Now, panel, who is getting into a cage match next?
Karen Chee.
A big bird versus an actual bird.
That doesn't sound fair.
Nagin Farsad.
Judge Sonia Sotomayor
and Judge Eileen Cannon.
Just go at it.
And White Blood Junior.
We don't really want
either Musk or Zuckerberg to win,
right? So, Taylor Swift
has got the winner.
And she will come out dusting her hands and the world will make a little more sense again.
She'll just shake it off.
Well, if any of that happens, Faddle, we'll ask you about it right here on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Karen Sheen, Agin Farsad, and Roy Blunt Jr.
don't tell me. Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Karen Sheen, Agin Farsad, and Roy Blunt Jr.
Thanks to everyone at NEPM, the staff and crew at Tanglewood, and our fabulous audience here in the Music Shed and out on the lawn. I am Peter Sagal, and we'll see you next week.
This is NPR.