Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - WWDTM: Michelle Williams
Episode Date: June 15, 2024On this week's episode, actor and singer Michelle Williams talks growing up in the church, auditioning for Destiny's Child, and how to get an NPR audience to sing a hymn. Plus, panelists Alonzo Bodden..., Helen Hong, and Paula Poundstone talk flags.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy
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I'm Rachel Martin. After hosting Morning Edition for years, I know that the news can
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From NPR at WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz.
Welcome everybody to Billenium Park. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the J Pritzker Pavilion in Chicago's Millennium
Park, Peter Segal.
Thank you, Bill.
Thank you, everybody.
Thank you all so much.
We are so excited to be back here at the beautiful Pritzker Pavilion on the Chicago lake front. We love
doing the show outdoors. This year, though, we had to make a deal to work it all out.
Took some time, but it's done. While we are here, four million cicadas are using the Studebaker
Theater down the block. Later on, we're going to be talking to proud Illinois native singer
and actress Michelle Williams, formerly of Destiny's Child. But first, we're going to be talking to proud Illinois native singer and actress Michelle Williams formerly of Destiny's Child
But first we want you to harmonize with us the number to call is one triple eight wait wait
That's one eight eight eight nine two four eight nine two four now. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. How you wrong?
Wait, wait, don't tell me. Hi Peter. This is Brian calling from Seattle. Hey, what's up in Seattle Brian?
We got some fans beautiful afternoon. What, what's up in Seattle, Brian? We got some fans.
Beautiful afternoon.
What do you do there in Seattle?
I'm an engineer for a local aerospace company.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Almost a two-year-old.
You're an engineer for a local aerospace company
there in the Seattle area.
Just one of those local mom and pop corner plane manufacturers.
That is correct.
Yeah, and that's great.
And do you have anything to do, do you work on say the doors?
That's handled by other people.
Other people, other people, that's somebody else's problem.
Okay, well Brian, welcome to the show.
Let me introduce you to our panel with us here on stage
at the Pritzker Pavilion.
First, a comedian performing in Ashland, Oregon
at Bellefiori Winery on July 5th
and at the San Francisco Punchline
on July 24th through the 27th, it's Helen Hall.
Hi, hi Brian, hi everybody.
Hi Helen.
Next, the comedian you can see June 20th to the 23rd,
it's SideSplitters Comedy Club in Tampa, Florida,
Alonzo Boden.
Hello, Brian.
Alonzo.
And she will be at the Rams head on stage June 22nd in Annapolis, Maryland,
and the Lincoln Theater in Mount Vernon, Washington on July 20th,
it's Paula Poundstone.
Hey, Brian.
Paula.
So welcome to the show.
Brian, you're of course going to play Who's Bill this time.
Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news.
If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you'll win our prize.
Any voice from our show you might choose for your voicemail.
Are you ready to go?
I am.
All right. Now your first quote is from a champion athlete suddenly banned from his sport's premier
competition.
To my fans, I love you and appreciate you.
Rest assured you'll see me eat again soon.
That was competitive eating great Joey Chestnut after he was banned from what big competition?
The Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest.
Yes, you even branded it correctly.
The Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest.
Sixteen-time champion of the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest, Joey Chestnut was suddenly
banned from this year's contest after he signed an endorsement deal with a maker of vegan
hot dogs. And if you don't follow MLE, Major League Eating, that's what it's
called, you may not know how big a deal this is. Joey Chestnut is the guy. This is
like the NFL banning Tom Brady or the WNBA banning Caitlin Clark or
the Premier League banning some soccer guy.
Do people like to watch, I mean, do you all watch competitive eating?
You got to watch it like it's a train wreck, Paula. You don't intend to watch it,
but then you can't tear your eyes away.
Do they have cheerleaders?
And are they just moms?
Go, eat, eat, Joey, eat.
You didn't finish your dog, no,
you're not getting anything else until you finish your dog,
Joey.
I think we've stretched the term athlete as far as it can go.
When we start including competitive hot dog eaters, I think at this point the team handball players are like,
see, we're athletes.
When you think about it, he is the perfect person to endorse vegan hot dogs because there is no one in the world
better at swallowing hot dogs without tasting them.
Well, you know, the easy thing about saying vegan hot dogs is look, no one knows what's in a hot
dog. So if you tell us it's vegan, we're like, yeah, okay, whatever. Yeah, sure it is. Nathan's
could have just said, you know, ours are vegan. People like, yeah, why not? Exactly. Brian, your next quote is someone caught on tape talking about her particular hobby.
I made a flag in my head. This is how I satisfy myself. I made a flag.
That was the very weird wife of which Supreme Court justice?
I think that's Justice Alito. Yes! That is the answer. Now just a few weeks ago we all
thought Justice Alito was throwing his wife under the bus when he blamed the whole thing about them
flying an insurrectionist flag on his wife saying, oh my wife just is really into flags, she's a flag freak. It's true. She loves flags. She designs flags and
she regularly flies flags as a great way of sending messages to her neighbors such as
do not engage with me at the block party.
That's how she satisfies herself.
That's how she satisfies herself. That's how she satisfies herself. Ha ha ha ha.
Yeah, I'm starting to feel a lot more sympathy for Justice Alito.
Bite your tongue.
I wonder if Justice Alito, after a night of passion,
ever turns to Martha Anne. were you thinking about me?
Or were you creating a flag in your head?
Well, you know, more evidence for her actual obsession.
Her Spotify wrapped last year, it's just, it's a grand old flag over and over again.
Well, what she's kept to herself so far until it needs to be released is that she's also
really into stickers and color forms.
Yeah.
It's just quirky.
Martha Anne Betsy Rosolito is just quirky.
Your last quote, Brian, is about a new tech feature that allows you to remotely take over
somebody else's phone and help them use it.
This will save my relationship with my parents.
That was tech writer Joe Wetuszek talking about one of the many new features announced
from what company this week?
Apple?
Yes, Apple, the big news.
Apple everybody, we love them.
We have no choice.
The big news out of Apple's Developers Conference
this week is a feature that allows you to share screens
during a FaceTime call.
That means, finally, you can actually
be your parents' IT department.
They can't do something.
You just say, OK, let's do this.
And you can actually do it on their phone for them
from wherever you are.
That's great, except at the end of the call,
they take a short survey on how satisfied they are with your service.
But don't you need them to do something to allow you to get into their phone?
Ah, the Catch-22. Yeah, like, just getting... As someone who
helped my parents set up Zoom over the pandemic, I swear to God, I aged like 20 years in that
one afternoon.
It's also, it's also good news for scammers who want into your phone. It's like,
greetings mama, this is son. Please share access to phone for favorite boy.
Yeah, my mom would be like, okay, and she doesn't even have a boy.
Okay, this function hasn't been introduced yet, has it?
It'll come in the next update.
There'll be other features as well.
For example, they've upgraded the photo software so that you can eliminate like a person from
a photo.
No.
Yeah, like you have a picture with an X and you don't want the X in it anymore because
otherwise it's a nice picture.
If you're really angry, you can do it with all your wedding photos and in like five minutes it's just a photograph
of a fabulous party you threw for yourself while you were wearing a great dress.
Well I know what Samuel Alito is doing when he gets his new mom.
Bill how did Brian do in our quiz?
A perfect score. Boeing is back.
Congratulations Brian. Well done. Thank you. Congratulations, Brian. Well done.
Thank you.
Good job, Brian.
Thanks for playing.
Right now, panel, it is time for you
to answer some questions about this week's news.
Helen, we have a musical question
for this wonderful musical venue.
During Hunter Biden's trial, a woman
testified that Mr. Biden had hired her to do a lap dance
and played his preferred music for this lap dance on his own phone.
So we're going to play you two pieces of music.
You tell us which one he chose for the lap dance.
Okay?
Here we go.
Was it A?
Okay. A. ["I Was Fallin' In The Ice"]
Okay. Or was it B, and again, this is what he wanted played
at his lap dance.
I was fallin' in the ice, fallin' in the ice,
I was fallin' in the ice.
Oh my gosh.
That second one is so weird, it's gotta be that one.
That's right.
What is it. No.
He had the Fleet Foxes playing for his lap dance.
What are the Fleet Foxes?
What is that?
That was them, that little sort of folk alt band you heard a moment ago.
Oh God, how do you even lap dance to that?
I can show you.
There's no beat, there's no like...
No, no, you can't.
You can't.
She's tried.
I've never heard of bringing your own music to a lap dance.
I didn't even know that was a thing.
I won't lap dance any other way.
I always say to people, no, you provide.
I have lap danced to folk music.
So it can be done.
Let's put on this little number by the weavers and get comfortable.
But have you lapdanced to Bach?
I draw the line.
I have to draw the line.
We should know by the way that that first song was by Def Leppard and we just Googled
number one song for lap dance, that popped up.
And incidentally when we googled number one Fleet Fox's song for lap dance, we got back
no.
I was following the eye, I was following the eye, I was following the eye, I was following
the eye.
I was following the eye.
Coming up, what happened in Belgium's Jemeb Castle, and did I pronounce Jemeb right?
We'll find out in our Bluff Elicitor Game Call, on 888-WAIT-WAIT to play.
We'll be back in a minute with more of WAIT WAIT DON'T TELL ME, from NPR.
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Richardson is back and the Netflix series is as gossipy and over the top as ever.
I love the dialogue as ridiculous as it is sometimes.
Same. It's so ridiculous.
We're talking about the romance and the clothes and the nudity and obviously the Queen's
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Listen to the Pop Culture Happy Hour podcast from NPR.
From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz.
I'm Bill Curtis.
We are playing this week with Alonzo Bowden, Paula Boundstone, and Helen Hong.
And here we have a sure host at Millennium Park in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.
Thank you, Bill.
Thank you, everybody.
You guys are the best.
Right now it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, Bluff the Listener game.
Call 1-888-Wait- wait to play our game in the air or
check out the pinned post on our Instagram page at wait wait NPR. Hi you're
on Wait Wait Don't Tell Me. Hi this is Olivia Levitt calling from Baltimore
Maryland. I love Baltimore what do you do there? I'm a PhD student at Johns Hopkins
studying biomedical engineering. Oh wow that's pretty impressive. You're one of those smart Baltimoreans.
Isn't all medical stuff bio?
Not really.
So you can study the body without fixing it.
Oh.
That means you're in the insurance side.
Exactly.
Yeah, they just walk into the room, they go, oh, that must hurt, and they walk out.
Well, Olivia, welcome to the show.
You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction.
Bill, what is Olivia's topic?
Somethings afoot at the Flemish Chateau.
No, that was not one of Bill's weird vocal warmups.
Our panelists are going to tell you about something strange that happened recently at the Jemep Castle in Belgium. Pick the one who's telling the truth. You'll win
the weight-weighter of your choice on your voicemail. You ready to go?
Oh, yeah.
All right. Let's hear first from Helen Hall.
Have you ever watched the real world or Big Brother and wished it had less hot people
and more politicians? Well, someone in Belgium thought of that because
that is the premise of the reality series The Conclave. Amidst the stunning grounds
of Jemepe Castle, a medieval chateau, journalist Eric Gons plays the Chris Harrison slash Julie Chen to seven prominent Belgian
politicians from various political parties vying for power in the upcoming
elections. There are moments of conflict and reconciliation, awkward silences and
barely disguised disgust, even solo confessional interviews in the literal
chapel. Are there hookups though?
Sadly not in the final aired version of the series,
but after the election is over,
perhaps we'll see the Conclave after dark.
The Conclave, a reality show featuring real politicians
up for election in Belgium's real government
locked into the castle for a week. Your next Once Upon a Time comes from Alonzo
Boden. Is the new Tesla cyber truck fit for a king? Ten drivers paid to find out.
As part of something called the Tesla Royal Adventure, Cybertruck fans could pay
$50,000 extra and have their truck delivered to the
Jemep Castle in Belgium where they would spend three days being pampered like
royalty while they drove their high-tech hardcore trucks around the
grounds. This was great for buyers like Julian Gage who said the only way his
wife would let him buy an $82,000 truck was including this trip. So everybody was up for it except the trucks.
The first day saw a light rain and then saw 10 cyber trucks
trying and failing to get up the muddy driveway.
I got stuck in four inches of water, said Julian.
Driver Ian Andrews took his out to the woods,
immediately got stuck in a bog and suffered
the ultimate humiliation
of being pulled out by a mule.
Julian Gage's wife, Margarita, was happy, though.
I floated away for three days of food, drink, and spa treatment, she told Auto News.
Then I spent the whole trip home listening to my husband complain about a Wi-Fi glitch
keeping him from opening his truck. I mean, I told him to get the Denali.
Cybertruck enthusiasts spend $50,000 extra to go to Jemez Castle and not drive their new vehicles.
Your last Castle Chronicle comes from Paula Poundstone.
The Union of Cleveland's Norma Claire De Delorme and Paul Hubert Matlock was celebrated by family
and friends over a week at the 70-room, 13th century-built Jemeb Castle in Belgium, a destination
wedding. The entire wedding party took a step back to the 1500s by contracting sweating disease, a bacterial
disease characterized by fever and profuse sweating soon after their arrival.
The ceremony almost had to be postponed because the bride and groom got their heads stuck
in a battlement while taking a selfie.
We were really wedged in there, says bride Norma DeLorme.
Unfortunately, the sweat eventually allowed us to slide out.
When the wedding did take place,
guests report hearing a rusty metal squeaking sound
coming from the bride's chastity belt
during much of the ceremony.
Paul and I love history.
We just thought an antique chastity belt
would be, you know, historical, sexy,
and it would have been if I hadn't
accidentally dropped the key in the moat. Paul dove right in after it, right in the
middle of the vows. So romantic. That alligator ruined his tux though. We're suing the castle.
That's dangerous.
All right. One of these things happened at Jemepp Castle, a very real place in a very real country called Belgium.
Was it from Helen, a reality TV show called The Conclave in which politicians were locked
in and filmed as they debated each other before an election?
From Alonzo Boden, a Cybertruck event where wealthy Cybertruck fans paid extra so they
could go to this castle and get their new vehicle stuck in the mud or a destination wedding with a medieval theme that went medieval.
Which of these is the real story of doings at Jemepp Castle?
I'm going to have to go with Helen's story.
You're going to go with Helen's story about the reality TV show featuring politicians
called The Conclave.
All right.
Well, to bring you the correct answer, we spoke to the New York Times Brussels bureau chief.
The show had so many trappings of the reality show business,
which was actually quite a lot of fun,
despite the fact that the protagonists were politicians.
That was the Times of Matina Steves Gritneff
talking about the real world Jemep Castle, as it were.
Congratulations, you got it right.
In fact, Helen was telling the real story.
She wins the point.
You win our prize, the voice of everyone you might choose for your voice.
Thank you so much.
Thank you, congratulations, and good luck with your studies.
Alright, thanks.
Take care.
Bye-bye. and good luck with your studies. All right, thanks. Take care. Bye bye. Bye.
["The Godfather Theme"]
And now the game we call Not My Job.
Michelle Williams was born in Rockford, Illinois
and grew up singing gospel in church.
She never thought she could do it for a living,
but then she wound up in a little group
called Destiny's Child.
The greatest girl group of all time.
And she's gone on to an amazing solo career
and a starring role in many Broadway shows,
including the new show Death Becomes Her,
coming to Broadway soon.
Michelle Williams, welcome back to Illinois.
Thank you.
And don't wait till it's on.
Now listen. Thank you. And for waiting for your coming. Now listen.
Yes.
Thank you for saying Rockford,
because people from Chicago don't like when you front
and act like you're from Chicago.
Yeah.
And then people from Rockford are like,
don't forget where you come from.
Right.
So you belong to us now.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
You spent time here though, right?
I spent a lot of time here.
The very, very first home I ever owned of my own,
I was out in Olympia Field.
It was a south suburb.
It's still not Chicago.
You can't be claiming Chicago.
You gotta live in the city.
And it's true that you were a gospel singer.
Yes, I started off in the church.
You know, my mom made us go to church seven days a week.
It seemed like it.
But you know, once I got older and knew that I need
something to anchor me, I really began to enjoy
developing my faith and my spirituality in the church.
So yeah.
So you started off singing in the church.
When did you start like,
cause you ended up in one of the great- How can you listen, y'all?
So before then, I did a few years
at Illinois State University.
I thought, come on, Redbirds, Redbirds.
Yay, Redbirds, you guys, okay, great.
Hey, y'all.
So I really thought I was gonna be like somebody's
prosecuting attorney, prosecuting attorney,
or like, I wanted to go into forensic
psychology.
It was going to be one of the two.
And then I would say this is really cool.
Maybe my last semester I get a phone call from a friend of mine and he was just letting
me know, hey, I'm about to go on tour with 98 Degrees and R&B legend Monica.
And so I just said out my mouth, I said,
well, if Monica needs a background singer,
tell her to call me.
Y'all, he called me like a week or two later
and said Monica's having auditions tomorrow in Atlanta.
Can you get here?
I was like, bro, I can't get there.
I can't afford a next day airplane ticket.
This is in 1999.
I said, even if I took Greyhound, I would just got there in 2024
They stop in every county on Greyhound
No shade no shame. But listen, listen, listen
So he has a cousin that worked for United Airlines
He said I'm gonna call my cousin Gladys to see if I can get you a buddy pass here to Atlanta
Y'all I got the buddy pass to Atlanta. I did the audition for Monica. Guess what I sang
Something Jesus see a him. Yeah
Last year to sure
Jesus is mine. Oh what a four days glory divine
air of salvation perfect divine. I'm born of his spirit washed in his blood. This is my
yes
all the day
Yes.
All the day.
Of course. Wow.
Of course, girl.
Sounded great.
Wait a minute.
All right, Michelle.
Now, don't try and voice me,
because I can't pay all of you.
I understand that.
Michelle, Michelle, we're gonna sweeten that in post.
Yeah.
They don't need no auto-tunes.
So anyway.
So I sang the song. Yes. And I got the gig you sure did and I sang back on for Monica
My mom didn't talk to me for like a week because she didn't know Monica was an R&B singer
She thought angel of mine was a gospel song. That's like my angel of mine by Monica is not gospel. I said a prayer
She's cool. She's fine
And then after that tour was over, Destiny's Child was looking for, you know, some girls
to just kind of fill in every now and then.
I get a phone call from Beyonce's mom, Miss Tina, and she's like, hey, can you come to
Houston?
We just want to have a meeting.
Y'all, guess what song I sing something Jesusy something Jesusy
this is my story
oh we're gonna do a duet just just you just just watch y'all so that song is a banger for you
I sang listen it got me they got me the gig with Monica y Y'all, I sang a good old Negro spiritual
to audition for Destiny's Child.
Walk with me, Lord, walk with me.
Walk with me, Lord, walk with me.
While I'm on this tedious journey, Lord, I want Jesus every day of my life to walk with me.
Wow.
Wow.
You know what?
I would hire you.
Yeah.
Now, we go from there to Bootylicious.
I was about to say.
So then you get on the band and your first big hit is bootylicious and what does your
mom think of that?
She got to escalate in a brand new house.
All right.
She's like, God is good.
Yes.
Well, Michelle Williams.
I know, we got to go, huh?
We got to go.
We have business to do.
We have to go.
We have to go.
We have to go.
We have to go. We have to go. We have to go. We have to go. We have to go. I was like, God is good. Yes! Well, Michelle Williams.
I know, we gotta go, huh?
We gotta go, we have business to do.
We have a game to play.
We have a game to play.
Michelle Williams, we have asked you here to play a game
we're calling.
I'm a survivor.
One of your biggest hits with Destiny's Child
was Survivor. Yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
So we thought we would ask you three questions about the long running reality competition
of the same name.
Yeah.
Right.
Bill, who is Michelle Williams playing for?
Matt Gridjuk of Chicago, Illinois.
There we go.
Here's your first question.
Contestants on Survivor are known for using anything they can find in the island to gain an advantage over the competitors.
That explains why Shane Powers of Survivor Panama said he almost used what to gain an edge during various challenges?
A. The live one-ton World War II-era mine he found floating off the shore.
B. A book he brought from home called The Most Ticklish Spots on the Human Body and Where to Find Them or See a Kilo of Cocaine that Washed Up on the Beach While
He Was Bathing There.
Weed?
Not weed, no, it was cocaine.
I was trying to clean it up, it's NPR, guys.
We've heard of cocaine on NPR.
What would cocaine have done, though?
Well, I imagine it would have helped him with that, you know, the...
How do you know? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'll go with C. You're gonna go with C, you're right, yes. Wow.
As Powers explained after he found this kilo of cocaine, and I was never a fan of cocaine in my personal life,
but I had thoughts of maybe rubbing in on our gums
before challenges to give us energy.
You think maybe he found two kilos of cocaine?
Maybe.
He did say that rather rapidly.
All right, here's your next question, that was very good.
As you know, for the first
part of each season on Survivor, the players have to cooperate with each other in order
to beat the opposing tribe at various challenges. In the Marchesis Island season, contestant
Cathy did what for her tribe mate, contestant John? A, made him a new lucky teddy bear out
of palm fronds when he lost his. Okay.
B. pretended to be a doctor and called his employer with a medical excuse for being gone
for two months or C. peed on his jellyfish sting.
Oh, it's got to be that one.
C.
Yes, it is.
Wow.
Apparently a legendary moment in Survivor.
John came out of the water clutching his hand and yelled,
I need someone to pee on me.
And Kathy immediately obliged.
All right, last question.
Jeff Probst, that's Survivor's longtime host.
He's made other reality TV programs over the years,
including which of these?
A, Championship of Reality Show Champions,
pitting winners of all the other reality shows against each other in fist fights
Be live for the moment in which terminally ill people get taken on one last adventure before
They die or see the rat race in which people are given dead and jobs in offices
And we wait to see who quits last
Process of elimination no see because we've already had two C wins.
Right.
A or B?
B!
Yes it is!
Woo!
Wow.
So how did Michelle Williams do in her quiz?
With a little divine inspiration.
She had them all right. She's a winner.
Michelle Williams is a singer, actor,
and the host of Checking In with Michelle Williams.
You can see her as Viola von Horn in Death Becomes Her.
That's coming to Broadway in October.
Michelle Williams, thank you so much for joining us.
I'm way, way from coming.
Oh, but you didn't tell them that I'm one of the owners
of the Chicago Sky.
I didn't know that.
Nobody told me that.
Give it up for her.
And just a minute, Beady Eyes are the new black
in our Listener Limber Challenge.
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From NPR in WBEZ, Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR and WBEZ Chicago this is wait wait don't tell me the NPR News Quiz
I'm Bill Curtis playing this week with Paul upon stone Helen Hong and Alonzo
Bowden and here again is your host at the Millennium Park in Chicago Illinois
Peter Sagal thank you Bill just a minute oh like ABBA? We'll get ready for some AABBA in our Listener
Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-888-924-8924. Right now,
panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Paula, more and more people are coming
forward this week to admit they don't know how to read what?
Their credit card bill?
No.
Their phone bill?
No.
You want to give me a hand?
I was waiting for you to ask.
Thank you.
People are like, what does the triangle iron X iron hand mean?
Oh, the washing instructions on there.
Yes, your laundry tags.
Nobody knows how to read those things.
I don't either. I've your laundry tags. Nobody knows how to read those things.
I don't either.
I've never known how.
Nobody knows how.
What does the triangle with an X mean?
I don't know.
It means don't.
Does anyone here know?
Yeah, don't wash it with triangles.
A huge elaborate joke that they just played on everyone.
Like we're just going to put these symbols on here.
They mean absolutely nothing.
Yeah.
According to an article in The Sun, many people are ruining their clothes because they don't
know how to decipher those little symbols on the care tags on the inside of their clothes.
Anybody who says they know what the signs mean, they're lying.
Oh, I can understand it, I can't speak it.
You know, considering they had to literally put a warning on laundry like, do not eat
this.
Yeah.
Symbols seem a little advanced for how to do laundry, right?
I mean they had to tell us not to eat Tide Pods.
I don't think we're going to be deciphering hieroglyphics on how to keep our clothes clean.
Originally it was done to keep the information about our laundry from the Russians.
Alonzo, you have to be 25 to rent a car, 35 to run for president.
Well, now there is a particular institution in St. Louis you can't get into unless you're
30 years old.
What is it?
Is it something that people have been doing at a younger age?
It's something that most people do pretty much at every age, and most places you do
this allow people of any age. I know what it is, and I'm just going to give it away. It's something that most people do pretty much at every age, and most places you do this allow people in of any age.
I know what it is, and I'm just going to give it away.
It's a tornado.
You can't be sucked up in a tornado.
That's not it.
Can you give me another hint?
Sure.
The Maid Her D will be checking ID.
A restaurant?
A restaurant, yes.
This restaurant is called Bliss, and it
claims that banning people under 30
will help curate a quote grown and
sexy vibe in their establishment right because everybody knows that you can't
be sexy if you don't remember 9-eleven
I was gonna say if you want to experience just older folks eating just
go to any restaurant at 430 and And that's when they're there.
It would be really funny if this place becomes really hip and 25 year olds are trying to
sneak in and pretend they're older.
Like yeah, the new Frasier totally isn't as good as the old one.
Paula, there's a very popular tourist destination in China and they recently upgraded their
restrooms by adding what to the
stalls adding what to the stalls iPads no although it is an electronic device
okay think of it as a kind of shot clock oh like I took the door springs open
after 30 seconds not after not the door doesn't bring it open but there is
something keeping track of what?
How long you're in there?
Yeah, a timer.
They've added timers on the outside of the stall,
showing everyone how long any person has been in there.
Oh my God, that's poop shaming!
It is terrible, yeah.
That's awful, I would never be able to go
in those conditions.
A part of a new movement,
and apparently it's hit Asia already, which is competitive peeing,
speed peeing.
Speed peeing.
Get in, get out.
Get in, get out.
I'll tell you what, those plots will not be in the over 35 restaurant. Coming up, it's Lightning Felt in the Blank blank but first it's a game where you
have to listen for the rhyme if you'd like to play on air call or leave a
message at one triple eight wait wait that's one eight eight eight nine two
four eight nine two four you can catch us most weeks over at the Studebaker
theater here in Chicago or come see us on the road at the beautiful man center
in Philadelphia on June 27 tickets and info are info are at nprpresents.org.
Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Kara. Hey Kara, where are you calling from?
I'm calling from Champaign, Illinois, but I also have to say that my hometown is Farmer City,
Illinois. Ah, Champaign, the Champaign of towns in Illinois. Well, welcome to the show Kara.
Bill Curtis is going to read you three news related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. Fill in that last word
or phrase correctly on just two of the limericks. You will be a winner. You ready to play?
I think so.
Oh no, you have to know so.
Okay, I'm so ready.
There's the attitude. Here is your first limerick.
In the plane's final row, there's a spare chair with no bags all my clothes I will wear there
and I also board lasts but I fly just as fast so I'm happy to pay basic.
Airfare? Airfare, yeah. Canadian airline WestJet is now selling ultra basic airfare.
It's perfect for people who've seen a cattle truck,
go buy them on the freeway and said,
hey, that looks comfortable.
If you buy an ultra basic fare on WestJet,
you get no carry on luggage, you have to board last,
and everybody, when you do board, booze you.
Boo, shame, peasant.
Are we getting to a point with the airlines
where it's like, what else can you take away?
Oxygen.
I mean, you've hit, you know, it's like the basic airfare, now there's a sub-basic, like
at some point they're going to be like, wow, there's no service we can remove.
What if we charge them and don't let them fly?
Yeah.
Here is your next limerick.
The appeal of these guys is quite potent.
Like a squirrel, they're intense.
They exploded.
They are tense like some rats, and they're covered in tats.
We love guys who look just like a...
Rodent.
Yes, the internet has declared that this summer is all about the hot rodent boyfriends.
Conventional square jawed hunks are out, men who look a little bit like rats are in.
This is great news for hot rodent boyfriends like Barry Keegan, Jeremy Allen White, and
the cast of challengers who, we are told, are defined by their beady eyes, untidy hair,
and lanky stature.
I mean, poor Jeremy Allen White spends all that time in the gym
and he comes out and people are like, oh, you
got creepy eyes, rat boy.
Here's your last limerick.
I'm just trying to text, I concur.
But kids act like I'm wearing seal fur.
I don't know what to say.
A thumbs up or okay.
I just know I can't text the word.
Oh my god, like what rhymes with concur?
You've already won. I can just give it to you if you want.
Just please put me out of my misery.
It's sure. And I know, it doesn't really rhyme. That's why it's not really fair. Sure, the word sure.
The Huffington Post says the worst text anyone can receive
is just the word sure.
Why?
Well, people say the word sure feels cold
or even passive aggressive, like you might text,
hey, do you want to meet at the movie theater at six?
And when they respond sure,
they might as well be saying, I'll meet you in hell.
So, but it's also a matter of punctuation,
because everybody agrees that if you say sure
with an exclamation point, well, that's great.
That's, hey, I'm enthusiastic to do whatever you're saying.
When a sure with a period means you
think the person you are texting slept with your boyfriend.
Yeah.
Or even worse, sure with no punctuation whatsoever.
We're fighting.
Really?
So you agree with this?
Yes.
No.
It's almost as bad as OK.
Just OK.
I think this is nonsense.
Sure is not the worst text.
Can I call you now is the worst text, followed by funny
with a period.
Right? Texting is so stupid. No, you both have already talked about
misunderstandings with words that if we set them in on the phone
You have the phone in your hand when you're texting
Just call Paula. I would rather get a text of 10,000 Shores and
Okays than ever have to actually talk to someone on the phone. Ever again.
We're done for. We're done for as a species. Bill, how did Kara do on our quiz?
Kara, you still win with two out of three. Congratulations, Kara. Well done.
Thanks for playing.
Take care.
Thank you.
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Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank.
Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer
as many Fill in the Blank questions as they can.
Each correct answer now worth two points.
Bill, can you give us the scores?
Paula and Alonzo each have two and Helen has four.
Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness.
Oh my gosh.
All right, Helen is clearly in first place.
Paula and Alonzo are tied for second.
Why don't we say Alonzo, you go first, here we go.
Let's get this out of the way.
Absolutely, here we go.
Following big wins for the far right across Europe,
Emmanuel Macron announced snap elections in blank.
France.
Yes, this week world leaders met in Italy
for the start of the 2024 blank summit.
G7.
I'll give it to you.
On Tuesday over 5,000 contract drivers filed legal claims against online shopping giant
blank.
This week the winner of an AI image contest had to return his prize after it was revealed
he blanked.
Made it with AI?
No, he was supposed to do that he actually
just submitted a real photo that he took on Monday. Sure he did.
On Monday experts warned that extreme weather in the US may mean that blank
will run out of funding before the year's end. Femah? Right on Thursday
Taylor Swift announced she would end her record-breaking blank tour in December.
Eero's tour.
Eero's is close enough. After weeks of being
terrorized by a 12 foot crocodile
officials in an Australian town captured it
and then blanked.
Ate it? Yes they did.
Had a big party for the town.
The police say the crocodile
was quote, prepared for the feast in the traditional
manner, wrapping the pieces of banana
leaves, cooking it on a barbecue,
and eating it right in front of all the other crocodiles to make sure they got the message.
Bill, how did Alonzo do in our quiz?
Very well. Six right. Twelve more points. Fourteen put you in the lead.
All right. So, that means, Paula, you are up next.
Please fill in the blank. On Tuesday, a jury found blank guilty on all three counts of felony gun charges.
Hunter Biden.
Right.
On Monday, an FDA panel endorsed Eli Lilly's early stage
drug for blank.
The new COVID variant?
No, Alzheimer's.
This week, several employees of SpaceX
sued the company and its CEO blank for gender discrimination
and sexual harassment.
Elon Musk.
Right.
Following days of torrential rain,
Governor Ron DeSantis declared a state of emergency in blank. Florida. this week a pedestrian in Texas was struck by a police car so the officers
got out and blanked. No, I guess this is good news. They gave her a ticket for jaywalking.
According to a new study, having previous blank infections may help protect from certain colds.
Having previous COVID infections?
Yes.
On Tuesday, fans were shocked when WNBA star blank was excluded from the US Olympic team's roster.
Caitlin Clark.
Right.
This week, scientists think they've discovered the reason orcas are sinking boats off the coast of Spain.
It's because they are blank.
Looking for Supreme Court justices.
No.
Well, that is a good bet.
You can find one. Look at the yachts. No. Well, that is a good bet. You can find one.
Look at the yachts.
No, because they're bored.
Essentially, scientists think that the reason orcas
are bonking into boats and sinking them
is because they're all just a bunch of bored,
teenaged orcas.
Now scientists are suggesting a better way
to keep teen orcas entertained.
Introduce them to drugs.
Bill, how did Paula do in our quiz?
Five right, 10 more points, 12 means she's trailing Alonzo
by 12.
All right, how many then does Helen need to win?
Five to die, six to win.
Here we go, Helen.
This is for the game.
On Thursday, the Supreme Court rejected an attempt
to restrict the blank pill. Abortion pill. Yes, for the first time On Thursday, the Supreme Court rejected an attempt to restrict the blank pill.
Abortion pill.
Yes, for the first time since his conviction, blank met with GOP lawmakers in Washington.
Trump.
Yes, this week the UN Security Council adopted a resolution calling for a permanent ceasefire
in blank.
Gaza.
Right, on Tuesday, the White House proposed a plan to ban blank debt from appearing on
credit reports.
Medical debt.
Yes, medical debt.
This week, a school board in Florida
voted to ban a children's book called blank. The book ban, the child's book ban
book. You are exactly right it was called ban this book and it's for children
about book banning. On Wednesday shipwrecked divers found the wreckage of Polar Explorer Blank's last ship.
Oh, the guy who went to Antarctica.
Yes, but his name would be?
The guy who had to eat the dogs.
You know a lot about him, but his name?
It's Shackleton. On Monday, Jin, a member of the K-pop group Blank, completed his mandatory military service.
Oh, BTS?
Yes, a Vermont state representative
is in trouble after being caught on camera blanking
on multiple occasions.
Caught on camera lap dancing to Fleet Foxes.
No, nothing that bad.
Pouring cups of water into another representative's tote
bag.
Representative Jim Carrol was confused.
Every time he got to the office, hung his tote
bag in the hook outside his office, went in, came out, he found it soaking wet. What's
going on? So he put up a camera and on two different occasions they found this other
lawmaker wet bagging him. Just walking up, pouring water into his tote bag, walking away.
So did I just invent the term wet backing? Yes we did. That is so
diabolical. Isn't it awful? It's awful. That's someone who would write short on a
text. I don't think it's that bad.
Bill, did Helen do well enough to win? She had six right, 12 more points with the other points she's accumulated she has 16 and the win.
Yeah, Heron Hong everybody!
Taking it home!
In just a minute we're gonna ask our panelists to predict now that he's been
kicked out of Nathan's hot dog eating contest what will be Joey Chestnut's next
career move. Wait, wait, don't tell me,
is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago
in association with Urgent Haircut Productions,
Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord.
Philip Godica writes our limericks,
our public address announcer is Paul Friedman,
our tour manager is Shana Donald,
thanks to the staff and crew,
at the Jay Pritzker Pavilion at Chicago's Millennium Park.
B.J. Liderman composed our theme,
our program is produced by Jennifer Mills,
Miles Grumboss, and Lillian King.
Special thanks to Monica Hickey
and Blythe Robertson this week.
Peter Gwynn is our suspected wetbagger.
Emmer Choi is our vibe curator.
Technical directionist from Lorna White
with a big thanks this week.
Once again, to Gary Yech.
Our CFO is Colin Miller.
Our production manager is Robert Newhouse.
Our senior producer is Ian Chilag.
And the executive producer, wait, wait, don't tell me, is Michael Danford.
Now panel, what will competitive eating great Joey Chestnut do next?
Helen Hong.
Vegan PR.
See, vegans can be disgusting overeaters too.
Alonzo Boden.
He'll be the new spokesman for the weight loss drug, Wigoby.
And Paula Poundstone.
He's going to drive the wiener mobile.
And if any of that happens, panel
will ask you about it on Weight Wakes.
Don't tell me.
Thank you, Bill Curtis.
Thanks also to Helen Hong, Alonzo Bowden, and Paula
Poundstone.
Special thanks to Donna LaPietra in the Chicago Free For All
Fund.
Thanks to everybody at our old friend WBEZ
and everybody here who came us out to see us
here in this magnificent park in downtown Chicago.
And thanks to all of you for listening at home
or wherever you may be.
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