Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - WWDTM: Radhika Jones
Episode Date: June 10, 2023On this week's episode, Vanity Fair editor-in-chief Radhika Jones joins us to talk about Rupert Murdoch, Little House on the Prairie, and the rules of underboob. Plus, Tom Papa, Emmy Blotnick, and Sky...ler Higley journey into the world of VR.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy
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From NPR and WBEC Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz.
NPR policy says, when I'm a bad anchorman, I get a spankerman.
I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois. Peter Sagal.
Thank you, Bill.
Thank you, everybody.
Great to be back with you.
Later on today, we are going to be talking to Radhika Jones,
the editor-in-chief of Vanity Fair.
Among her many, many achievements,
she is the latest in the long line of heads of that magazine
to not
invite us to their amazing Oscar party. But everybody is invited to our little shindig.
Give us a call. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first
listener contestant. Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, my name is Edie and I'm calling
from Brooklyn, New York. Hey, how are things in Brooklyn?
Things are clearing up, but it's still a little smoky out here. A little smoky out there. Well,
every restaurant in New York is a barbecue place. That's awesome. And what do you do there?
So I'm a student at Brooklyn College. You're a student in Brooklyn College. I can't imagine what
it is like to live as a student on a student's income in New York City.
How do you manage?
Well, luckily, my boyfriend is in IT, so he helps me out a lot.
There you go.
Well, Edie, welcome to our show.
Let me introduce you to our panel this week.
First up, a writer and comedian whose stand-up recently debuted on Comedy Central.
It's Skylar Higley.
Hi.
Hi.
on Comedy Central.
It's Skylar Higley.
Hi.
Next, her stand-up album, Party Nights,
is now available to stream.
It's Emmy Blotnick.
Hello, Edie.
And a comedian whose new book,
We're All in This Together, So Make Some Room,
is out now.
It's Tom Papa.
Hi, Edie. So, Edie, of course, you're going to play Who's Bill this time.
We always start our show that way. Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this
week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you will win our prize.
Any voice from our show, you might choose on your voicemail. You ready to go? Awesome. Let's do it.
Yeah, that's the attitude. Here we go. Your first quote is a crowd of Apple fanatics reacting to the introduction of a new device.
Boo!
And now they were reacting specifically to the $3,500 price tag for what?
Their new VR headset.
Yes.
In fact, the VR goggles. Very good. This week. Yes, in fact, the VR goggles.
Very good.
This week, yes, you got it.
This week, Apple revealed its first major new product since the Apple Watch.
It's called the Apple Vision Pro.
It is a VR headset that looks exactly like a pair of ski goggles.
And if you think it looks dumb now, wait till you put it on with the
giant OtterBox case over it. Have you guys seen this? Are you excited? I love it. I'm so excited
about it. Are you? Yeah, because it seems to be, Apple's always got me on their mind. Like,
they always come out with the products right where my life is. And now that I'm getting a little older,
my body's becoming really useless,
they come up with a device
where I'm not going to have to use it anymore.
Exactly.
You just put these on and just lay back
and just flick your hands
and you get to do everything with your laptop
right on your face.
Yeah.
And I should stress that one of the
innovations is there's no controller with this thing. You operate the headset by gesturing with
your hands in the empty air in front of you. So you know how Bluetooth headsets make it look like
you're a crazy person talking to somebody who isn't there? Now you can look like you're also tickling them.
It's a look, right?
You look like you're doing backup dancing for Daft Punk or something.
Now what's weird is these guys and gals at the Apple demo,
at their developers conference,
were all so incredibly excited to talk to everybody about this new device.
But as the New York Times style section pointed out,
none of them actually put it on their faces.
Right?
So it's like, it's a real, I love that for you moment.
Yeah.
And they probably haven't felt long-term because it's going to be gross, right?
Eventually.
Eventually, yeah. Like your iPods.
Yeah, if you're playing with it and you're all sweaty and you're doing some game, you're going to, after a month or so, yeah, your AirPods. Your AirPods, yeah, like your iPods. Yeah, if you're playing with it and you're all sweaty and you're doing some game,
after a month or so, yeah, your AirPods.
Your AirPods, yeah.
Oh, man.
They're the worst.
I can make candles out of what's on my end.
All right, here is your next quote.
Code Purple.
That was the air quality rating
as smoke from Canadian wildfires ended up where this week? In good
old New York City. Exactly.
Outside your window.
Basically all up and down the East Coast.
Ah,
New York.
The city that never breathes.
A giant cloud of
smoke from wildfires came all the way
down to visit New York from
Canada and it was devastated to learn that it no longer gets free health care.
The whole thing, very upsetting, very unhealthy, very worrying,
but there's definitely an upside.
Now the city smells like smoke and urine.
Plus, finally, people will have a practical use for their $3,500 Apple goggles.
Yeah, I was in New York.
You were in New York.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was really, it was intense.
The strangest part was after we get off the pandemic,
like watching people wearing their masks outside
and then taking them off on the subway.
Yeah.
The tables have turned.
It's like nothing safe.
Emmy, you live there.
How are you coping with it?
I felt okay.
It smelled a little fiery in my house, but mostly it makes my dog sneeze.
And it's very cute when he sneezes.
So I'm torn.
Right.
This is the only time in history Chicago's been able to brag about our air against New York.
Now, this happens, of course, these wildfire smoke problems all over the place, but now it's happened in New York, so it matters.
I mean, yes, the Pacific Northwest has had terrible fires and smoke for years, but those are just, you know, regional toxic events.
This one's on Broadway.
It did make the fires because I live in L.A., and so we get those fires.
But those seemed a little more quaint than what went on this week.
Like in L.A., like when things are burning and the kids run out
and they catch the cinders on their tongue.
How charming.
It's fun.
I just feel bad for the person who put a non-refundable deposit
on getting a sky writer to do
Will You Marry Me in the Sky Over Manhattan this week.
Yeah, that was the thing.
I was in a tall building where I had a meeting
and you couldn't see a couple blocks.
You couldn't see anything.
You couldn't even see New Jersey from the thing. You couldn't see a couple blocks. Like you couldn't see anything. You couldn't even
see New Jersey. Like from the thing, you couldn't see New Jersey. What a treat.
Yeah. The mayor was like, it ain't all bad.
All right. Here is your last quote. I thought it was a bad idea until I tried it. That was a man who's part of a
new fitness trend
which is people doing what
while they work out at the gym?
Oh, can I have a hint?
Well, it's not so much leg day.
It's more like keg day.
They're getting drunk while working out?
Yes, they are. They're getting
drunk at the gym. It's a hot new thing.
This is from an article in Slate.
People getting drunk before and during their workouts.
No longer will that creepy guy stare at you while you run on the treadmill.
Now he'll think it's a good idea to talk to you, too.
How does it work?
Do you get the drinks at the gym?
Apparently, people are like both, like they're having drinks and then going to the gym drunk. They get the drinks at the gym? Apparently people are like both,
like they're having drinks
and then going to the gym drunk.
They're bringing drinks to the gym.
Or they're like working out
and then like knocking back a few
at the gym's bar.
The gym has a bar?
There are gyms with bars.
Wow.
To me it feels really disrespectful.
It's only really appropriate
to like get drunk
before you like perform it
at an NPR game show or something. Exactly.
Where it really doesn't make a difference.
The idea is it's supposed to
take the edge off and ease the discomfort,
give you an extra incentive to work
out. That's where you're going to get your drink on, right?
But that all may be true,
but it does suck when the cherry from your
Manhattan gets stuck in the nozzle of your
water bottle.
As long as people don't exercise in regular bars.
That would be bad.
It would be so bad.
Yeah.
Like someone doing pull-ups
while you're like trying to grieve something.
Yeah, it's not that kind of bar.
What's terrible is like people will become super buff
and not be able to remember how it happened.
They'll be blackout swole.
Bill, how did Edie do on our quiz?
Edie was perfect three in a row.
Congratulations, Edie.
Thanks so much for playing,
and stay inside until you hear the all clear.
Thank you, guys.
Thank you, guys.
Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news.
Emmy, Taylor Swift's concerts on her Ears tour are stretching out past the three-hour mark,
and in response, many fans are doing what to prepare for the show?
Cocaine? Cocaine?
These are mostly young
girls, Emmy. You should be ashamed of yourself.
Are they... Well, they don't want
to miss anything, you see. Oh, no. Are they
pissing themselves?
They are because they come
wearing what? Diapers?
Yes. Oh, no. Yes.
They're all wearing adult diapers to the shows.
Swifties on TikTok have been posting videos
of the adult diapers they're using at the concerts.
So they don't have to miss a single moment.
They're not going to lose out on anything but their dignity.
One woman said, quote,
no one knows I'm wearing a diaper under this
as she posted the video for the entire world to see.
Jeez, I went to an ACDC concert once, and people didn't want to miss
that, so they just peed on the seats in front of them. That would be, yeah, your classic ACDC,
that would be the way. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Now, what's interesting to think about, okay, so
concertgoers, that's a long time, three hours to just be there, But what does Taylor Swift herself do?
Is that what the 10-minute seated solo at the piano is for?
I think you just took this
from my Shark Tank Ideas page.
The seated toilet piano
is something I've been developing.
Sure, of course.
And what do you miss if you go to the bathroom?
She broke up with someone again.
Exactly.
And she's written a whole new song about it
while you were waiting in line.
It's called Depends. Coming up, things get grisly
in our Bluff the Listener game called
1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute
with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me
from NPR.
Tell me from NPR.
From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz.
I'm Bill Curtis.
We're playing this week with Tom Papa, Emmy Blotnick, and Skylar Higley.
And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois,
Peter Sagal.
Thank you, Bill, right now.
Thank you so much.
Right now, it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me
Bluff the Listener Game. Call 1-888-
WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air.
Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Hi, this is Trish calling from
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
Hey, Trish.
I love Philly.
What do you do there?
I'm a registered nurse.
Oh, good for you.
That is a stressful job, is it not?
It is.
I do education now, so I'm not in direct patient care, so it's a little less stressful.
All right.
So, basically, you're no longer dealing with us patients.
You're talking about us with other nurses.
I'm guessing you say really terrible things about us patients that we completely deserve.
Is that right?
I would never say terrible things about patients, not when they could hear me.
Oh, there you are.
That's bedside manner.
Trish, welcome to the show.
You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction.
Bill, what is Trish's topic?
Not your average bear.
We know the classic things that bears do.
They hibernate, they eat salmon,
they eat people who are eating salmon.
But this week, we heard about a bear
who did something unheard of.
Our panelists are going to tell you about it.
Pick the one who's telling the truth.
You'll win the weight-waiter of your choice
on your voicemail.
Are you ready to play?
I'm ready.
First, let's hear from Emmy Blotnick. In an excerpt from his upcoming memoir,
Pete Townsend reveals who first gave him the idea to smash a guitar on stage, a bear. He writes that
as a young musician, he worked at an independently owned guitar store on Great Chertsey Road in
Chiswick. One day he came in to open up shop and saw a Rickenbacker guitar demolished on the floor,
surrounded by bear tracks and bear feces.
Apparently a bear had broken into the store looking for food
and broke a guitar that cost 400 pounds.
And this is 400 pounds like 50 years ago,
which if you just for today's inflation,
it's probably like $50 billion or something, you know?
While the damage was no fun to clean up, it undeniably screamed rock and roll.
The image of the shattered instrument stuck with him until one night he was on stage and felt so inspired,
he went full bear attack on his own guitar.
Not full bear attack, he didn't replicate the feces part.
But the crowd loved it. So while guitar
smashing may be known as a signature of the Who, let the record show a bear did it first. Also,
the bear taught him how to do that windmill strumming thing. Pete Townsend reveals that
he learned to smash guitars from a bear. Your next truth or bear comes from Tom Papa.
bear. Your next truth or bear comes from Tom Papa. To the delight of campers at Yellowstone National Park, a group of bears have been stopping traffic and putting on their own circus, complete with
the classic balancing ball act, dance numbers, and even a makeshift unicycle made out of tent poles.
Dave Heitner, a park visitor, explained,
We were trying to take pictures of the bears,
but they ran behind this dumpster.
We thought we missed our chance.
But then the bears came back
and were wearing matching vests and tap shoes.
They were really good.
His wife was conflicted.
I don't want to support bears being used in a circus,
but if the bears are the
ones putting on the circus, is it okay? It's confusing. I feel the same way when I see mini
Kiss, right?
But for most, including this park ranger,
the bear circus, which the bears are calling barely legal,
has been a delight.
I loved it, said Officer Kelby.
One of them bears was doing an impersonation
of Frank Sinatra, and I swear he was spot on.
So it's time to officially declare this summer
Circus Bear Summer.
Bears at Yellowstone spontaneously coming up
with their own circus.
The last story of a Bruins Doons comes from Skyler Higley.
The surveillance state is everywhere,
permeating every facet of our society.
Everyone look under your chairs, it's Big Brother.
The latest recruit to the all-seeing eye of the man
is none other than nature's adorable forest monsters, bears.
Whether it's Yogi, Paddington, or Fozzie,
years of bear propaganda has lulled citizens
into a false sense of trust towards these fuzzy fiends.
This trust has been exploited by the Connecticut Department of Energy and Environmental Protection,
also known as DEEP, who strapped a camera to a bear to help them spy on the rural property of Mark and Carol Brault.
Bear 119 wandered onto the Brault's property as a sleeper agent,
like in that show, The Americans, that I heard was pretty good but never watched.
And sent DEEP agents videos during an investigation into whether they were engaged in a conspiracy
to commit one of the biggest threats to American national security,
violating a local ordinance against feeding bears.
Now, the Brauts are suing Deep for the violation of their Fourth Amendment rights
and are demanding the decommissioning of the suave, gadget-wearing,
womanizing agent, Bear 119. Remember, if you come across a bear while hiking, don't run. Just make
yourself big and ask him if he's wearing a wire. All right. As said, we heard about a bear doing
an interesting thing this week. Was it from Emmy Blotnick, a bear teaching Pete Townsend how to smash guitars way back when?
From Tom Papa, bears at Yellowstone learning to do their own circus, which was apparently pretty good.
Or from Skylar Higley, a bear being used as surveillance by the local cops in Connecticut.
Which of these was the real story of a bear in the news?
I really want number two to be the real bear story, but I'm going to have to go with number
three. It's a bear being used for surveillance. So you've chosen Skyler's story about a surveillance
bear. Well, to bring you the correct answer, we spoke to someone who is following the real story.
I have never seen an instance of law enforcement deploying a surveiller bear. That's
why the couple's asking for all the photos to be deleted. There you go. You were right. That was
Robert Fromer, a senior attorney at the Institute for Justice, talking about the surveillance bear.
Congratulations. It turned out, yes, you were right. Skyler had the real answer.
You've won a point for him, and you have won our game.
Well done.
Thank you.
And now the game where we ask very smart people to try out not being smart.
It's called Not My Job.
The modern version of Vanity Fair magazine launched in the 1980s
and became the go-to glossy mag for celebrity gossip profiles and scandals,
not to mention throwing extremely fancy parties.
Then six years ago, its owners hired a woman with a PhD in comparative
literature who had once edited the Paris Review to take over the magazine. And strangely,
with that intellectual pedigree, the parties got even better. That editor joins us now,
Radhika Jones. Welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
So I feel I have to ask you about your educational background when you were getting that PhD in comparative literature at Columbia were you saying to yourself this will be really useful
for when I put together the annual Hollywood issue no no but you would be surprised at the
crossover one of the things that comforted me when I took this job was that I don't think I've ever actually done anything more difficult than the first day I walked into a room full of first-year college students as a teaching fellow, and my role was to teach them composition.
And I thought, well, if I could do that, then surely I could throw the Oscar party. How hard could that be? There you go. I mean, who's so much easier than like 16
first year college students. I was about to say, who's, who's easier to deal with? Like,
you know, egotistical Hollywood stars are like freshmen.
Anyone who has teens or people in their early twenties knows what I'm talking about.
I think we do
and speaking of which what was the interview process like did they say to you what would
you do with vanity fair or did they tell you what they wanted with vanity fair what was the mission
that was given to you the the idea was for um for me to express what um what i would do with it and
it's it's an amazing title it has all the associations you mentioned with celebrity and scandal,
but it also, over the years,
has done incredible investigative reporting
and really important photojournalism,
war reporting, all of that,
and I think there's a lot of room for magazines
that are really smart about our culture
in all of its forms,
and to me, at its core, that's what VF is.
Right.
I have a question.
Go ahead, Emma, please.
In your interview, did they ask you to name every Kennedy by heart?
Thankfully, no.
Vanity Fair does these questionnaires sometimes for celebrities.
Did they ask you, do they do the Proust questionnaire?
Did they say to you, what living human do you despise the most?
Oh, yeah, what smell makes you furious?
Those answers are off the record.
I understand.
You are a professional.
You guys also have done an amazing job reporting on Fox News and Rupert Murdoch.
In fact, you recently broke the story that he asked his latest wife, Jerry Hall, for a divorce via email. Ouch. Yeah. Do you ever worry that, I mean,
he's Rupert Murdoch. You ever worry he might have you killed?
I suddenly am very conscious that I'm alone in my office.
But there's security down there.
There is.
Don't worry about me.
Rupert will be foiled again.
You have an amazing amount of cultural influence.
Have you ever been tempted to use it for evil?
Like, just say, let's get Scarlett Johansson.
Every day.
Every day.
All right. Every day. Every day. All right.
Every day.
Can you give me an example of like.
No.
No, no.
Like, for example, I would like get Annie Leibovitz to take like a beautiful cover photograph
of, say, Scarlett Johansson wearing big fuzzy earmuffs so that everybody would then wear
earmuffs.
That would be my thing.
And obviously I'm not qualified to do your job
because that's lame.
I feel like you're not going far enough.
Okay.
Show me up.
No, no.
You already have people putting hits out on me.
That's true.
They're trying to get me in trouble.
All right.
I'm going to ask you one question as a tastemaker
though, because again, your opinion
goes, you're the editor-in-chief of Vanity Fair.
Are Apple
Vision Pro goggles cool
or not?
I haven't tried them on yet.
Yeah.
But I think that
that is in my future.
And are they cool?
Are they cool?
Are they cool?
You get to say.
You don't have to guess.
You get to say.
I'm going to say they look pretty cool.
There you are.
It's decided.
I've got a taste-making question, too.
Apple stock just went up 5% because she said that.
Emmy, please, by all means, and then we'll play our game.
I'm just asking this one for a friend.
Is 35 too old to, quote, rock under boob?
Do we have a setting or just in general?
Might be at Studebaker Theater.
No, it's not too old.
Not too old, there you are.
I'll tell my friend.
You're only as old as your underboob feels, Emmy.
Thank you for asking that for me.
We're still young Hollywood, Skyler.
Well, Radhika Jones, it is a lot of fun to talk to you,
and we are going to test your intellectual mettle
by asking you to play a game that this time we're calling...
Vanity Fair meet State Fair.
You edit Vanity Fair.
What do you know about state fairs,
the wonderful entertainments that happen all over the country every summer?
Get two out of three questions right,
you'll win a prize for one of our listeners.
Bill, who is Radhika Jones playing for?
Sam Jacobs of Atlanta, Georgia.
All right.
Here is your first question.
These days, attractions at your state fairs
tend to be carnival rides, maybe a tractor pull.
But back in the old days,
some state fairs had some really exciting things to see,
like which of these?
A, genuine duels to the death.
B, steam locomotives smashing into each other head-on, or C, the great sheep catapult?
I've read the Little House on the Prairie books backwards and forwards, and none of those things happen in any of those books.
I feel like this is...
Maybe Louisa May Alcott just didn't want you to know about it.
Laura Ingalls Wilder.
Wow.
Oh, snap, dog.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
It's all right.
He's got a PhD.
I really was like, wow, Peter, really good for him.
Dude, nobody here is ever going to respect you ever again.
I know, it's true.
Your library card has been rescinded.
Not even rescinded.
It just burst into flames.
It really makes me feel horribly embarrassed.
Does this get me out of answering the actual question? Yes. No, it doesn't. Sadly, it just burst into flames. It really makes me feel horribly embarrassed.
Does this get me out of answering the actual question?
Yes, no, it doesn't.
Sadly, it doesn't.
I don't think anybody died at state fairs on purpose,
so I don't think it could be A.
And I feel like catapulting sheep is seriously uncool,
so let's go with steam locomotives.
You're right, that's what happened. It was a thing.
They did it all over the country.
And they stopped more or less at the Depression when they no longer could afford to, like,
smash locomotives.
So they stopped.
All right.
Here's your next question.
Though many people think the games over in the Midway at your fairs are rigged, one man
was able to clean out all the prizes at the basketball shooting games
at the Orange County Fair in California one year
just by doing what?
A, using a laser scope to aim his shots,
B, using his 10-foot-long prosthetic arm
to just drop them in,
or C, by being former NBA all-star Gilbert Arenas?
B.
You're going to go with B.
He uses his 10-foot prosthetic arm to just reach out
and drop the basketballs in.
C.
She went C.
Okay, she said C.
Yes.
Yes, in fact.
Gilbert Arenas.
He posted a picture of himself on Instagram
posing with all the stuffed animals they had,
which he had won.
And then, after that, the fair gave him a lifetime ban.
So, all right, very good.
Here's your last question.
In addition to the usual prizes for livestock,
the Minnesota State Fair gives out a prize every year for what?
A, unhappiest family at the fair.
That's Tom's family.
That's Tom's family. Yeah.
B, best matching costume for a llama and its owner.
Or C, the Garrison Keillor lookalike contest.
I really hope it's C. That's awesome.
You're going to go for C.
It was, in fact, the llama and the owner.
Really?
Yes.
No, what I realize is we've got to schedule a photo shoot with these llamas.
Yeah, you are.
That would be pretty awesome.
They are apparently extremely impressive,
and it is a highlight, apparently, of the Minnesota State Fair.
Bill, how did Radhika Jones do on our quiz?
You got two out of three, which is a win.
Congratulations.
There you are.
Radhika Jones is the editor-in-chief of Vanity Fair.
Radhika Jones, thank you so much for joining us.
What a joy to talk to you.
Thank you.
Congratulations on the excellent work.
Take care.
In just a minute, we give you a five-star rating on our Listener Limerick Challenge.
Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air.
We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Tom Papa, Skyler Higley, and Emmy Blotnick.
And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.
Thank you, Bill.
In just a minute, Bill Curtis barges in with a battering rhyme in our listener limerick challenge.
If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT.
That's 1-888-924-8924.
Right now, panel, some more questions for you from this week's news.
Tom, you've heard of helicopter parents who just can't stop looking after their kids at school.
I have.
According to the Wall Street Journal, helicopter parents are now descending on their kids where?
In college.
No, even after that.
In their married lives.
No, not their home life, but their...
Their work life.
Yes, they're descending on their kids at work.
More and more employers are reporting
that parents are applying for jobs for their kids,
accompanying their kids to job interviews,
and then, after the kid gets the job,
showing up at the workplace to complain
about how their kids are being treated.
Then, the parents hang out in the break rooms and say inappropriate things about how Harriet
in accounting has lost weight, and then complain, what, you can't give a compliment anymore?
I didn't know that other people's parents were doing this.
Oh, really?
Is this something?
Skyler, you're a stand-up.
Would your parents come to your shows
and what do they complain about?
My mom does all my material for me.
Oh, really?
Okay, that's great.
I have my mom drop me off a block away.
Because you don't want to be embarrassed.
I understand, Emmy.
I understand.
And this is also true,
sometimes parents have used the advantages of a Zoom interview with a camera, right,
to hide the fact that they're sitting off camera coaching their kids and their answers,
right? Which is why the answer to the question, what do you see yourself doing in five years,
is often not living in my basement anymore, my hand to God.
five years is often not living in my basement anymore, my hand to God.
Skyler, an inventor named Guy DuPont, has come up with a prototype of a new advance in clothing,
and he's seeking investors for it. It's a smart pair of pants that alerts the user when.
Ooh, when they're horny.
That's not right.
When they're having a stroke?
No.
I'll give you a hint.
Like, no more open barn doors if this goes into it. Oh, okay.
So, yeah, it's when your fly is down.
Yes, it does.
It's a smart pants that alerts the user when their zipper is down.
Wow.
We've all been there.
And by there, I mean right here where I am, not able to step out from behind this lector.
So this guy, Mr. DuPont, invented a complicated array of sensors, magnets, and batteries sewn into a pair of pants that sends a message to your smartphone when you're sort of open to the breeze down there.
This is great for any man who isn't married or has any friends and is too scary looking
for any stranger to approach.
I was worried that it was like a little
like an alert that just draws
more attention towards you.
Your fly is down.
It's like a terrible idea.
Everybody's staring at you.
Yeah, so it is.
I will say I'm resisting the urge to check right now.
It is, yeah.
My pants just texted me I'm doing a great job.
Tom, this week the New York Times covered an important boundary in any relationship.
How much what is okay in public?
How much in public?
Can I have a hint?
Some people only want private displays of affection.
How much making out?
Yes, PDA.
According to the New York Times,
your opinion on public displays of affection can make or break your relationship.
If your partner wants to hold hands and you don't,
that could hurt their feelings.
It's like if you're holding their hand,
how can you text your side piece?
What did they say?
How much making out is cool?
Well, the problem is they pointed out, and this is why we need the New York Times to
like delve into this important issue, that you and your partner have to agree on it.
Oh, man.
I wish they would have just said, don't do it.
Or like this much.
Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, the thing is, it's not, as you
point out, it's not really the couple who
need to be comfortable with a level of
PDA. It's everybody around them.
Yes, exactly. You know,
couples of America, you don't want to make anyone
around you uncomfortable, but you also don't want to
make anybody really too comfortable.
You don't want anybody coming up going, yeah.
Kiss each other.
I completely disagree.
I love validation and encouragement.
Yeah, but maybe that's a good strategy to get them to stop.
Just walk up and be like, yeah.
Do some over-the-pants stuff. Give me a kiss Just a kiss
Give me a kiss
Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank,
but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme.
If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message
at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT.
That's 1-888-924-8924.
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Plus, the Weight Weight Stand-Up Tour
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and Richmond, Virginia next week,
and Charleston, South Carolina,
and Durham, North Carolina in July.
Tickets and info about all that amazing stuff can be found at nprpresents.org.
Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Hey, Peter. How's it going?
It's going pretty well. Who's this?
This is Avery. I'm calling from Glenview. I'm super excited to be on the show.
Hey, Glenview. Glenview is a suburb of Chicago. Great to have you.
What do you do up there in Glenview?
I work with a staffing agency,
so we help find people jobs in this terrible employment market.
Oh, wow.
So is it easy to do because you have lots of jobs to fill or hard to do because there aren't any jobs?
Difficult.
It was pretty simple several months back,
but now it is a lot more difficult.
All right.
Okay.
Well, good luck to you as you continue to do that.
Now, Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. a lot more difficult. All right. Okay. Well, good luck to you as you continue to do that.
Now, Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the
limericks, you'll be a big winner. You ready to play? Let's go. Yes. Here's your first limerick.
In my garden, I show no restraint, and my flowers have voiced no complaint. My so-called green thumb is quite
useless and numb, so I spruce up my plants with green paint. Paint, yes, very good. Good job. A woman
in England's brilliant hack for reviving her dead plants in her garden went viral when she simply
showed the world that she had painted her dead plants green.
It's the perfect solution
for people who don't have a green thumb, because you can
just paint that too.
It was dead and she painted it
to look alive. Yeah, basically,
if you can imagine, she had these two potted plants
outside, they were sort of evergreens, but they had died, so they
were brown and crispy, and she just painted
them bright green, and they looked great.
Isn't that just what we do for funerals? Kind of, of yeah you have people coming and saying well it's sort of in the
larger sense people looking at the plants and going oh they look so alive yeah yeah you're right
scott i never understood that when people are like she looks great it's like well not really. It'd be better if she was moving.
Yeah.
Here is your next limerick.
Seeing movies is borderline douchey.
All the seats are reclining and squishy.
And since popcorn's passe, there's a raw fish display.
At the movies, I'm ordering...
Pate?
Not pate. I think raw fish in there At the movies, I'm ordering... Pate? Not pate.
I think raw fish in there was a clue there.
It rhymes with...
Sushi. Sushi.
Sushi.
Yes, sushi.
According, once more,
to the New York Times, the movie theater industry
is trying all kinds of things to lure people back out of their living rooms to the theater.
Plush seats, full bars, and yes, sushi.
Nothing like, you know, grabbing a big bucket of sushi at the concession stand, taking it
over and giving it a few big squirts of soy sauce from the dispenser.
I always sneak in my raw fish in a bag.
Exactly.
But remember, in my family we have a rule,
you can't start eating the sushi until the movie starts.
But we don't want to wait much longer than that
because if we do, it might kill us.
I do the thing where you take little bits of fish
and sprinkle it in your popcorn.
Oh, yeah.
That and some goobers.
That's good.
Here's your last limerick.
No matter the state of the cars, That and some goobers. That's good. Here's your last limerick.
No matter the state of the cars, whether gross or with stock mini bars,
I don't want to debate it.
I'm just overrated.
Each ride that I'm in gets five stars. Five stars.
Yes, very good.
According to the Wall Street Journal,
Uber and Airbnb ratings are essentially useless
because customers, quote,
hand out five stars like it's candy.
Ooh, I love it when my Uber has candy.
Five stars.
I had an Uber driver a couple months ago
who kept farting in the car,
and I was going to give him a low rating,
and then he said he just got here from Ukraine a couple months ago.
And then I was like, well, I guess five stars.
Wow.
And then you got out of the car, and he said, damn it, worked again.
Bill, how did Avery do on our quiz?
He gets the job.
Avery, we're going to give you three rights.
You're a winner. Thank you so much for playing, Avery do on our quiz? He gets the job. Avery, we're going to give you three rights. Congratulations.
Thank you so much for playing, Avery.
We'll see you around.
Thank you for having me.
It's now time for our final game, lightning fill-in-the-blank.
Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points.
Bill, can you give us the scores? Emmy and Tom each have two. Skyler has three. All right. So,
since Emmy and Tom are tied for second, I will say, Tom, you go first. Here we go. Okay. The
clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill-in-the-blank. All right. Former President
Donald Trump announced on his social network
that he has been blanked over his keeping of classified documents.
Indicted?
Yes.
On Tuesday, Iran claimed to have built its first hypersonic blank.
Missile.
Right.
This week, a man in Wisconsin awaiting trial for stealing a police car
was arrested for blanking.
Eating too much cheese.
For stealing another police car.
After weeks of speculation, Major League Soccer team Inter Miami announced they had signed superstar blank.
Ronaldo.
No, close. Lionel Messi.
I was going to say Messi.
Best known for his feud with Hulk Hogan, the wrestling star known as Blank passed away at the age of 81.
The Iron Sheik.
Yes, this week a woman in Illinois running on a treadmill fell.
Then things got even worse when the treadmill blanked.
Ran over her.
Pulled off her pants.
The woman slipped in the treadmill, and while holding on for dear life,
the treadmill pulled her workout pants completely off.
See, this is what happens when you go to the gym sober.
Bill, how did Tom do in our quiz?
Three right, six more points.
Eight is the total, but you're in the lead.
All right.
Emmy, you're up next.
Fill in the blank.
On Thursday, President Zelensky toured areas of Ukraine
that were flooded after a blank was breached by Russian attacks.
A dam?
Yes.
On Thursday, the Supreme Court ruled that voting maps in blank needed to be redrawn.
Texas?
No, Alabama this time.
This week, conservative televangelist
and former presidential hopeful blank
passed away at the age of 93.
Oh my God, his first name is Pat.
And his last name is?
I'm Jewish.
Oh.
That's.
It would be great if there was an evangelical pastor
named Pat, I'm Jewish.
Pat Robertson, after just a year on the job, Chris Licht has lost his job as CEO of blank.
CNN.
Yes.
On Wednesday, Taco Bell launched a new version of its Crunchwrap Supreme that's entirely blank.
Crunchy?
No.
Always been crunchy.
Now it's vegan.
This week, a man got in trouble with his wife when she caught him texting while they were blanking. Kayaking? No. Always been crunchy. Now it's vegan. This week, a man got in trouble with his wife when she caught him texting while they were blanking.
Kayaking?
No.
Good guess. Lovely thing for couples to do together.
No. He was texting while they were walking down the aisle at their wedding.
Oh, my.
Seconds after finishing their vows,
the couple did the traditional walk out of the church with everybody applauding.
And in the video that someone posted again, he could be seen just like face down,
staring at his phone the whole time. That guy needs the Apple goggles. He does.
That said, you know they were in trouble earlier when instead of saying, I do at the altar, he just
sent her the thumbs up tap back. And then he changed it to heart.
Phil, how did Emmy do on our quiz?
Two right, four more points, total of six.
Now trails Tom.
All right.
Next up, and finally,
finally, how many do Skyler need to win?
Skyler needs three to win.
All right.
Skyler, this is for the game. Phil, in the blank, on Wednesday,
former Vice President Blank formally announced he was running for the GOP presidential nomination. Mike Pence.
Right. This week, it was revealed that Twitter had lost two-thirds of its value since being
purchased by Blank. Elon Musk. Right. On Tuesday, a judge in Florida blocked the state's ban
on gender-affirming care for Blank children. Transgender children. Yes. Shortly after
launching a new program allowing residents to submit driver's license photos from home, the Georgia Department of Driver Services blanked.
Died? No issue to notice, reminding drivers to, quote, please wear clothes in your driver's
license photos. On Thursday, the Vatican said that blank was recovering well after abdominal surgery.
Oh, the Dalai Lama. Of course. Oh, no, sorry. Pat, I'm Jewish.
All good guesses, but it was
the Pope. On Wednesday, former
Mr. Show and Bob's Burgers actor
Jay Johnston was arrested for taking part
in the assault on blank. The Capitol. Yes.
This week, wildlife removal officials
in Florida are warning residents to be in the lookout
for snakes and lizards that may show up in their
blank. Ooh, dreams up in their blank.
Ooh, dreams in their toilets.
Florida residents are being asked to look before they sit after hundreds, hundreds of iguanas, geckos, and snakes have been pulled from toilets and plumbing lines.
True.
Can you imagine, like, using the bathroom only to turn around and see a six-foot-long snake looking back at you?
You're like, when did I eat that?
Bill, did Skyler do well enough to win?
For right.
Eight more points.
Total of 11 is making him the champion. Yay!
Skyler!
Bravo!
In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict,
after drinking during workouts, what will be the next new gym trend.
But first, let me tell you that Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me
is a production of NPR and WBZ Chicago
in association with Urgent Haircut Productions,
Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord.
Philip Godeka writes our limericks.
Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman.
Our tour manager is Shana Donald, thanks to the staff and crew here at the Studebaker Theatre.
BJ Lederman composed our theme.
Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King.
Special thanks this week to Deanna Ortiz and Monica Hickey.
Peter Gwynn is our private address announcer.
Our vibe curator is Emma Choi.
Technical direction is from Lorna White.
Our CFO is Colin Miller.
Our production manager is Robert Newhouse.
Our senior producer is Ian Shillog.
And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mike Danforth.
Now, panel, what will be the next hot trend at the gym?
Skylar Hinkley.
Bicep hurls.
Emmy Blotnick.
Dancing with dip or Zumba ganoush.
And Tom Papa.
Goat Sauna.
Well, depending on that happens panel, we're going to ask you about it right here on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Thank you, Bill Curtis.
Thanks also to Skyler Hickley, Emmy Blotnick, and Tom Papa.
And thanks to all of you for listening.
I'm Peter Sagal.
We'll see you next week.
This is NPR.