Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - WWDTM: Sam Sanders & Zach Stafford
Episode Date: July 13, 2024This week, Wait Wait is live in Chicago with special guests Sam Sanders and Zach Stafford and panelists Tom Papa, Paula Poundstone, and Emmy BlotnickLearn more about sponsor message choices: podcastch...oices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy
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Sometimes I'll actually preface the question with if it makes you too uncomfortable to
talk about, if it's too personal, just tell me.
Here's the question.
For behind the scenes content, bonus episodes, and more, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz.
I'm the voice on Bill Curtis' voicemail, Chioki I.
And here is your host at the Studerbaker Theater in the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois,
Peter Sagal.
Thank you, Chioki.
And thank you, Cherokee!
And thank you, everybody.
Ah, that's what really helps our show, day drinking.
Later on on our show today, we are going to be speaking to two of the hosts of the hit podcast,
Vibe Check, Zach Stafford and Sam Sanders.
Now, Sam, of course, used to be a colleague of ours at NPR
and I am so excited to ask him what it is like
to finally be able to swear into a microphone
and then watch his reaction when he realizes
that he can't again.
But first we want you to watch your manners
when you call in to play our games.
The number is 1-888-WAITWAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Hi, you're on WAITWAIT, don't tell me.
Hi, my name is Mary Elizabeth and I'm calling from Annandale, Virginia.
Great, what do you do there in Annandale? So I work for a legal services non-profit
and DC is an executive assistant. Well, that's cool, that's cool. That's good
work so you help people who need legal services
but cannot normally afford them.
So that's what we do as an organization.
I just read emails all day.
That's okay.
Strange, so do I.
Well, welcome to the show, Mary Elizabeth.
Let me introduce you to our panel this week.
First, she's a comedian that you can see
at the Comedy Cellar in New York City.
It's Emmy Blotnick.
Hi, hi Mary Elizabeth.
Oh wow.
And a comedian and host of the hit podcast, Breaking Bread with Tom Papa.
That would be Tom Papa.
Hello.
Hi.
And a comedian performing on September 14th at the Mackinac Art Center in Glen Ellyn,
Illinois and host of the podcast, Nobody nobody listens to Paula Poundstone, that would be,
of course, Paula Poundstone.
Hey, Mary Elizabeth.
Hi, Paula.
So, Mary Elizabeth, welcome to our show.
You're going to play Who's Chioki?
This time, Chioki Iancin, filling in for Bill Curtis, is going to read you three quotations
from this week's news.
If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them,
you will win our prize, the voice from our show that you might want on your voicemail message.
You ready to go?
Absolutely.
Alright, let's do it.
Your first quote is a pretty good example of optimism.
This is an exciting time for democracy.
That was senior Democratic official George Clooney
In a New York Times op-ed asking Joe Biden to do what?
Step down from the Democratic nomination. Yes to drop out of the presidential race. That's right
So two weeks ago, Joe Biden did a debate that was organized to finally put to rest the question
of whether he was too old to be president.
And good news, it did.
So now President Biden is being urged to drop out of the race by all kinds of people.
David Axelrod has weighed in, James Carville and a bunch
of other people who are also too old to be making important decisions.
Okay. This argument over whether he can be the president or not, he is the president.
He's being the president now. One night he hung his mouth open a lot.
Yeah. It happens.
Which I wish he hadn't.
I mean, I leave my garage door open sometimes all day and nobody tells me I have to quit.
Yeah, I did. Did anybody else feel the need to lunge at the television and just push his
job? You know, I've certainly enjoyed the Ocean's Eleven's movies but...
Now, the we... Well, no, but Paul is...
I feel Paul is...
I know it's a worry because I went from girlfriend to girlfriend my whole life and I never broke
up with a girlfriend unless I knew I had another girlfriend that was a possibility.
And everyone's saying we should...
Biden should just...
We should break up with him.
Who's next?
Like if you came in and said, we've got something solid,
we could all get around it, where we're just like,
let's kick him out and see what happens
in the next four months.
Well, that's actually one of the big questions is like,
if Biden were to drop out, who would then run
as the Democratic candidate for president?
Many people say, okay, it's obviously gonna be
Vice President Kamala Harris.
But she, you know, that's not good. That's awkward. She never planned on becoming president
by running when Biden is forced to drop out. She planned to become president by him dying
in office. She's been practicing. Here's her sad face for four years.
I'm self-employed. So when I try to get me to step down,
it's going to be obvious.
Yes.
All right.
Mary Elizabeth, we have more news to discuss.
Here is your next quote.
It is a sign you might see an angry person holding up
in Barcelona.
Go home.
That is a message seen all over that city,
as people there are telling who to go home.
Tourists.
Tourists, yes, exactly.
Barcelona, like a lot of major cities in Europe,
is absolutely overrun with tourists this summer,
making it practically unlivable for the residents.
So the locals are shouting at tourists who go home, and this is true,
actually squirting them with water pistols when they see them.
Fortunately, fortunately not a single American of course speaks Spanish, so
they're all like, oh honey, this is great, they're baptizing us.
Do we, you know, in Chicago in the summer, if someone, you were here as a tourist and
somebody sprayed you with a water gun, you'd be grateful.
That's true, you know.
It is rather hot.
That is nice.
Sometimes like, wow, they do the nicest thing there.
Yeah.
No, I think this is why the campaign isn't really going to work, because when you try
and kick out tourists, everybody who's there is thinking, is looking at the other tourists and going, oh, look at these tourists.
Yeah, I know.
But I've got it.
Like, they really know that, like, I could totally blend in.
You know what you could do if you really didn't like tourists?
This just occurred to me.
Just put on a very practical suit and good walking shoes, hold up an umbrella, right,
and then just lead people directly into the sea. I sometimes when I go other places I try to pretend that I am the tour guide.
Do you really? Yeah, even though I don't know anything about anything.
Like in Washington DC, you know, there's so many tours there all the time.
And there's always, you always see people. So I will, I'll just go up to a group of people and go,
Washington, our nation's capital
I was in Venice and that place they come in with these giant
Crew ships how it's terrifying and they just dumped 5,000 people there and go go get lunch
It's horrible, it's a horrible place these giant big white
It's horrible. It's a horrible place. These giant big white porcelain toilets with 5,000 people on them. Yeah. Well, that's why in Barcelona they're using water pistols and in Venice they're using torpedoes.
But I mean, all right. I mean, I get it. I get it that it's a problem and they're trying to lower the impact of tourists on their city.
But did Venice really have to put Rick Ste's head on a pike at the main entrance?
Have we gone too dark?
Am I reading the room correctly?
Rick Steve's head on a pike?
Well, you know.
Mary Elizabeth, your last quote is a hypothetical situation that is posed by the Washington Post.
Your boyfriend liked an Instagram model's bikini photos.
Okay.
Now, according to the social mores of today, that action now counts as what?
Cheating?
Yes, cheating.
Exactly right.
Yes, cheating.
Specifically, that sort of thing is now called microcheating.
Right?
That's a thing now we have to worry about.
Microcheating, liking a bikini model's pic,
or commenting on your ex's Instagram post.
That is, now we are told, effectively cheating
on your current partner, even if you didn't leave a comment that
says, also, terrific sex yesterday in the motel
next to your office.
Oh. didn't leave a comment that says also, terrific sex yesterday in the motel next to your office.
Oh.
Well, I've been married for 24 years, and I can say we have built up enough trust in
our relationship that if my wife were to see that I put a little heart emoji on one of
my ex's pages, my wife would kill me with an axe.
Yeah, that's great.
And that's, and that kind of knowledge, that, that sense that you know her so deeply only
comes after 24 years of marriage.
100%.
We don't call it micro cheating.
No, no, no.
We call it divorce.
The thing about micro cheating is you can have ten incidents of micro cheating and it
is one cheat.
That is the unit of exchange.
So get one free or is it?
No, it just goes right, you carry it.
You carry it.
So if you could stop at nine and then go to another ex, you're still safe.
I think so.
A lot of really strong relationships actually have an abacus there in the kitchen.
The kids keep track.
Yeah.
Chiochi, how did Mary Elizabeth do in our quiz?
With all three rights, Mary Elizabeth is a macro winner.
There you are, Mary Elizabeth.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
Well done, and thank you so, Merry Christmas. Congratulations. Yeah. Thank you.
Well done, and thank you so much for calling.
Thanks so much.
Bye-bye.
Cheating and lying is all you ever do.
No, cheating and lying is all you ever do.
Right now, panel, it is time for you
to answer some questions about this week's news.
Paula, this week we learned about a hot new place for young people to grab a bite or,
you know, just hang out.
Where is it?
The school cafeteria.
No, not quite.
Oh, something different than that?
Other end of the age range.
Oh, nursing homes.
Pretty much.
Senior centers.
Senior living centers.
It's a good idea.
According to an article in Fast Company that was written by your grandparents, the coolest
place to have lunch these days is in a senior living center.
By coolest we mean literally.
They've got the AC cranked up to freezing.
They like it that way.
Senior living communities are adding cafes and restaurants open to the public to provide
their residents the opportunity to mingle with the quote, everyday person.
It's a great idea, right?
Because if you've been to a senior home before, you know it is the best place to walk in,
meet a stranger who will tell you the saddest story you have ever heard.
So wait, so they're inviting young people to just hang out in the White House?
It was lobbed in there. I don't even believe it, but it was lobbed in there. Coming up, our panelists get on the historic registry.
It's our Bluff the Listener game called 1-888-WAITWAIT-TO-PLAY.
We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait Wait Don't Tell Me from NPR.
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On this week's episode of Wild Card, poet Nikki Giovanni says you can choose your family.
I recommend dogs.
For their faithful, they're intelligent, and they always love you.
I'm Rachel Martin.
Join us for NPR's Wild Card Podcast, the game where cards control the conversation.
From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz.
I'm Chioki Iancin
filling in for Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Paula Poundstone, Tom
Papa, and Amy Blotnick. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theatre in
Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Chioki. Thank you, everybody. Thanks, everybody.
I am excited too because it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, Bluff the Listener
game call, 1-888-Wait-Wait to play all of our games on the air.
Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Hi, this is Stephanie from Longmont, Colorado.
Hey, Longmont, I know that.
What do you do there?
I am a program manager at a medical device company.
Oh.
And I also manage a 15-year-old theater kid and three cats.
Wow. Which is more moody?
I do have a very moody cat, so they compete for moodiest.
It's a tough call.
Which do you find more often sitting in their room
and listening to emo music?
Both of them, actually.
But you know.
It'll happen.
Well, welcome to the show, Stephanie.
You're going to play the game in which Well, welcome to the show, Stephanie.
You're going to play the game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction.
Chioki, what is Stephanie's topic?
George Washington slept here.
What is the difference between an old rundown shack and a historical landmark?
Apparently, a famous person taking a nap there.
This week, we found out about a new place that's probably going to get a plaque on the
front door because of something that just happened.
Our panelists are going to tell you about it.
Pick the one that's telling the truth and you will win the weight-weighter of your choice
on your voicemail.
Are you ready to play?
I'm ready.
Okay, great.
Your first story comes from Paula Poundstone.
While reaching for a half a watermelon on the bed of ice on the large display in the
center of the produce section at the Leedy Green Grocery in Stockholm, Sweden, Esbjorn Ekblad caught sight of a nose in
the ice. He then recoiled in shock when Jane Fonda rose up from beneath the ice.
Ice cubes were tumbling off of Jane Fonda, says Ekblad, and then I hear peals
of laughter coming from behind a cardboard
nut display and Greta Thunberg steps out laughing like a hyena.
Jane and I wanted to bring attention to alternatives to air conditioning, Thunberg explains.
She's such a climate change warrior, she'll do anything, but maybe we hadn't thought it
out quite enough.
Fonda suffered frostbite on the skin surrounding her elbows and the shrinkage to her red wool
and tam.
We're reducing our air conditioning use and customers tell me they really appreciated
the effort," said Bengt Borjensen, and our watermelon sales are the best they've ever
been.
Jane Fonda, found under the ice in a produce section in Norway.
Your next claim to fame comes from Amy Blotnick.
When you're out and about, it can be hard to find a public bathroom.
Take it from superstar musician Elton John, who was out shopping for shoes in the French
city of Nice with his teenage sons when nature called.
According to TMZ, after the shop owner told him there was no toilet available, Elton asked
his bodyguard for an empty bottle.
He stepped away from the other customers and then he took out his Benny and turned on the
jets.
And what's crazier is the shop owner didn't recognize him.
That might be the most shocking part of this story.
A French man whose job is shoes, not knowing Elton John.
When he asked him what he does for a living, Elton John said,
I'm Elton John.
Again, this took place in Nice, if you want more details.
Just be aware that it will look like you Googled Elton John shoe store pee bottle nice. Elton John not being nice in Nice. Your last story of a
location legend comes from Tom Papa. Big Lou's Pizzeria had been a mainstay of Bayonne, New
Jersey since it opened in 1965.
But it wasn't until Joe Pesci came in last week and ate 25
chicken parmesan sandwiches in one sitting that it became
famous.
Everyone was excited just to see him,
said owner Big Lou Primo.
He came in and ordered a chicken parm sandwich and a
Diet Coke. But then the guy next to him says, be careful, that's a big said owner Big Lou Primo. He came in and ordered a chicken parm sandwich and a diet coke.
But then the guy next to him says, be careful, that's a big sandwich for such a little guy.
Joe was really PO'd.
His eyes got red, smoke poured out of his ears, and I swear, he stood at the counter
and ate that sandwich in two bites.
Then Joe turns to the guy and says, watch this, you big mouth, and he orders two
more sandwiches. The irritated star of My Cousin Vinny proceeded to order sandwich after
sandwich. A crowd started to form and not just because there was nothing else to do
in Bayonne. By the time he was done, Joe Pesci had eaten 25 chicken parms, ordered a cannoli for dessert, and kicked
the guy right in his profiteroles. And Big Lou's Pizzeria was on the map.
All right.
That's all it takes.
Someday soon, there will be a place in the world with a plaque on it marking an important
occasion. Will it be from Paula Poundstone,
a grocery store in Norway that'll say Jane Fonda
was found under ice in our produce section?
Will it be from Emmy Blotnick, a shoe store in Nice
with a sign saying Elton John peed in a bottle inside here?
Or from Tom Papa, a pizzeria in Bayonne with a sign saying,
Joe Pesci himself ate 25 chicken parm sandwiches
on this date.
Which of these is the real plaque that might be?
I'm going Elton John.
You can't mess with Elton John.
Seminal musician that he is.
All right, your choice then is any story of Elton John relieving himself in a bottle
in a shoe store in Nice.
Well, to bring in the correct answer, we spoke to someone who in fact reported on the real
story.
The sneaker shop owner was upset and he asked him what he did for a living and Elton John
said, I'm Elton John. That was Danielle Chalosky, an editor and writer at Stereogum,
reporting on Sir Elton's makeshift John.
So you got it right, Emmy was in fact telling the truth.
She has a point, you are an prize. Congratulations.
Awesome, thank you so much.
Thank you for playing. [♪ Music playing.
And now the game where we ask people about things they know nothing about. It's called Not My Job.
If you're going to do a podcast with just you and two of your friends talking about stuff,
you better be absolutely incredible at it,
which is why Vibe Check was named one of the best podcasts by the New York Times
Think of it as the group chat
You wish you were cool enough to be on to a vibe checks hosts and Zack Stafford and our old friend from NPR
Sam Sanders join us now Zack and Sam welcome to wait wait don't tell me
It is a thrill to have you our our coolness quotient is raised just by you joining us here
on stage.
I think for people who have not been fortunate enough to hear
it, we should describe Vibe Check.
But you guys did it yourself on just a recent podcast.
And I have to change this for NPR standards.
You might remember them, Sam.
I sure do.
You called it just the three of you pooping and chatting.
Pooping and chatting.
Well, yeah, that's fast.
Pooping and chatting.
That's what we said last episode.
That's how this show started.
I think everyone experienced this during the pandemic where you were at home a lot more,
so a lot of your social interaction moved to your phone.
I was blessed enough to end up in some really fun group chats.
But the group that I was in, I'm still in, with Zach and Saeed, it was just so great.
And what I have to say, Sam is really the reason why the show came to life.
Because I don't do things unless there's a check or a contract already.
And Sam was like, oh, we had so much fun on my show on NPR.
People loved it.
And people did love it.
And he was like, let's do a SoundCloud.
And I was like, I'm not a rapper.
I'm not doing a SoundCloud demo.
And he did it, and people just loved it,
and it kind of took off from there.
I know this is a hard thing to describe about your own work,
but everybody knows that the stereotypical podcast is just
two or three people, usually guys,
just talking to each other and thinking that the rest
of the world will find them as interesting
as they find themselves.
99% of the time, they are wrong.
You guys, as the results have shown, were right.
So do you know what gives your show Vibe Check
like that pass to be just as fascinating
to everybody else as it is to the three of you?
I have thoughts, but I wanna hear yours first.
You want me first? I want you first.
Yeah, well, I think our show,
we're really obsessed with failing in public,
which is very masochistic, I think.
But we realize as journalists
that we were being trained to always be on
and be perfect and say the right thing all the time
and not talk about how we actually felt.
And, you know, I have a long journalistic background,
Sam does, and so does Saeed.
So we were like, let's do a show where everyone knows we did our research, we did our homework, we've reported,
but talk about it how other people talk about it with each other. So that's what the show does,
is we're having those conversations you're having, but with some more, we've talked to
the White House maybe, or we've talked to some sources, and we're just talking about it in a
really accessible way. Right. So you're catty, but informed. Exactly.
Yes.
And what I love about the show is that it's pretty much a really big bait and switch.
So when we launched the show, by virtue of the three of us being the three of us, all
of the initial wave of press was like, here's this new show from a black queer perspective.
And you're like, the three of us don't agree on anything and like
that's the beauty of it so but that's so like black queers let me tell you oh my
god pride just ended like I swear to you and I love it because we get to argue
it in a real way that feels like expansive with an A. I tell Saeed and Zach that our disagreements are expansive.
You have guests on your podcast tonight.
Very impressive ones.
Can you tell me who your favorite one has been?
For me, it'd probably be our friend Jenna Wertham.
Jenna's a writer at the New York Times, the magazine specifically.
She one day was tweeting or talking about nude beaches, and I was fascinated by this because I have been to them but I had never been
nude on a nude beach. I was more voyeuristic. Wait a minute. So you've
been to nude beaches? Yes, I'm gay, yes. I didn't know that was part of the test.
Sam Sanders, have you been to a nude beach? Whatever. They didn't tell you that at the initiation?
That was not part of the onboarding process?
No.
Oh, and by the way, sir, you will have to go to nude beaches.
So, wait a minute.
But getting back to you, Zach, you've been to a nude beach, but you have not been nude.
So you're just a guy who like wanders on in a business suit and just wanders around, hands
in pockets, looking around?
This suit, yes.
That's the suit you are wearing now.
No, I was wearing, I wear a bathing suit when I went before.
So I wanted to interview Jenna Wortham on her time finally also getting nude on a nude
beach in Mexico.
And so the day before we did the interview, my partner was like, isn't it ridiculous that
you're talking to someone about a nude beach and you've never been naked on one?
So then he made me drive to San Diego, be naked, to do the show.
And you were in New York at the time?
I was in LA. And so I did it and so I got to come
out as a temporary nudist on our show. Me and Jenna Wortham had the most amazing conversation
about water and it's a very Pisces conversation but it was very much about the healing power of
being naked and gender. They called it blue spaces. It was so smooth. Wow. It was so smooth. It was nice.
I get paid to do that too.
That's wild.
And Sam, I think our audience will know your background, at least part of it, because you
were of course with NPR for many years.
I was.
I know.
Greatest 13 years.
Still wrong.
You know how they say, like somebody who's been in prison, what's the first thing you're
going to eat when you get outside?
So the first time you got in front of a microphone.
Oh, I cursed.
I cursed like a sailor. I cursed like a sailor. I probably say the most.
Yes, you curse a lot actually. Yeah, I did listen. I did not know that side of you.
It is free flowing. My mother listens, so I think about every day I go into the studio.
I think my aunt Betty stopped listening.
It's funny, she started.
So my aunt Betty was a big staple in my last show.
And she's a booster.
And I remember the first few weeks the show was out, she'd say, I'm listening, I'm listening.
And then as weeks went on, she'd just be like, how you doing? Well Sam and Zach, it is great talking to you, and we have invited you here to play
a game we're calling Vibe Check Meet Lib Check.
Wow.
Wow.
You guys are vibrarians.
I'm keeping that.
We just made that up.
I'm keeping that.
Just so we can ask you what you knew about librarians.
We're going to ask you three questions about the things librarians have to deal with every
day.
Get two out of three right and you'll win our prize for one of our listeners.
Jokey, who are Sam and Zach playing for?
Grant Wiens of Chicago, Illinois.
Chicago, Illinois.
Hi Grant.
What's up, Grant?
As I'm sure, all right.
Ready to do this?
Yes.
All right.
As you probably could easily imagine, a common complaint among librarians is people damaging
books while they are checked out.
One librarian had a book returned to the library with bite marks, water damage, and covered
in crayon.
What was the name of the book?
A, keeping your collectibles in mint condition.
B, destroy this book.
Or C. What to expect the toddler years.
I know what I want it to be.
What do you want it to be?
I want it to be C too.
Yeah.
Let's go with C.
Let's go with C.
That's the correct answer.
Yeah.
Teamwork, teamwork.
I love it.
Teamwork, teamwork. A completely destroyed. I love it. I love it.
Teamwork, teamwork.
A completely destroyed library book is pretty much what you'd expect in the toddler years.
So there you are.
All right, next question.
Damaged books aren't the only way to upset a librarian, as in which of these very real
cases?
A, a patron who made the joke, do we decimal?
Well, I sure don't.
Every day for six months, B, a man walked into the library
and requested a book about taxidermy while holding a, quote, recently dead skunk.
Oh, that happens.
That happens.
Or C, a woman who pushed in a double stroller with two crying children asked the librarian,
can you keep an eye on them and immediately left to go to a yoga class?
Oh my gosh.
It's between B and C, but I want to believe B because as soon as you said, oh man, I was
like, he did it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The inflection was very, oh man.
Pretty much.
Pretty much.
As soon as anything terrible happens, just look for the nearest man.
There you go.
Are we right?
Are you going to go with B?
Yes, that's exactly what happened.
Man, am we right? Are you going to go with Bayard? Yes, that's exactly what happened.
Man, am I right.
God bless feminism.
Last question.
Even celebrities have run ins with librarians.
Like which of these famous people?
A. Kid Rock who angrily returned a book to a Michigan library complaining when he swiped
his finger across the page, nothing happened.
P. B. I should say B. Pilot Sully Sullenberger who had to call his local library when the
book he had borrowed sunk into the Hudson River with his plane after his famous crash
landing.
He would do that.
Or C. Tom Cruise who asked the Beverly Hills Library for a book exactly eight inches thick
because he needed to reach a particular shelf.
There are so many-
Wait, tell me what A is again.
A was Kid Rock, who returned a book because nothing happened.
All right, he swiped his finger.
Here's my thing.
I want to believe B, but what do you feel?
Let's do different ones.
You do B, I do A.
Can we do that?
You're going to say A, so Zach says A and Sam says B, and the award goes to Sam.
His logic was impeccable.
Sully Sullenberger did, after his famous emergency landing on the Hudson where he saved all those
people, he did have to go to the library and say, I'm sorry, the book I borrowed is now
at the bottom of the Hudson, and they said, Captain Sullenberger, it's okay.
He's just the best.
He's just the best.
He really is.
A good man.
Jokey, how did Sam Sanders and Zach Stafford do in our quiz? I mean, we're just going on vibes.
It's a vibe of success. The vibes are on. Zach Stafford and Sam Sanders are two of the hosts
of the podcast Vibe Check, which is
available wherever you get your podcasts.
Give it a listen.
Join the group chat.
Zach Stafford, Sam Sanders, what a pleasure to have you with us.
Thank you.
Wait, thank you.
Thank you so much.
Give it up for them.
This was so fun.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Thank you all. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you, Tom.
In just a minute, Chiochi will blow your mind with his crazy animal effects in our listener
limerick challenge.
Call 1-888-WAITWAIT to join us on the air.
We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait Wait Don't Tell Me from NPR.
From Cowboy Carter to Old town road to Yellowstone,
the symbol of the cowboy has been riding high
for a few years now.
But my big question is why are we turning to the cowboy?
What's actually holding the reins on America's imagination?
And what does it reflect about our psyche?
Listen to it's been a minute from NPR.
On this week's episode of Wild Card, actor Ted Danson says it's possible to embrace your regrets.
I wish I hadn't become a liar early in life, but even your wounds, you kind of have fondness
for if you've lived through it and made amends and all of that stuff.
I'm Rachel Martin.
Join us for NPR's Wild Card Podcast,
the game where cards control the conversation.
If you think the economy makes no sense right now,
you are probably right,
because even economists can't explain it lately.
But our podcast, The Indicator from Planet Money,
we're a little dose of clarity
on the biggest economic questions of the day.
And about the forces that affect your life. In 10 minutes or less,
every weekday, the indicator from Planet Money from NPR.
From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz.
I'm Chioki Iancin, filling in for Bill Curtis.
We're playing this week with Paula Poundstone,
Amy Blotnick, and Tom Papa.
And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater
in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.
Thank you, Chioki.
Thanks so much.
In just a minute, Chioki sings Rhyme Around the Rosie
in our listener limerick challenge.
If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-wait-wait.
That's 1-888-924-8924.
Right now, a panel, though, some more questions for you from the week's news.
Paula, the San Diego Zoo, welcomed two new giant pandas from China this week.
That's the first pair of giant pandas to arrive in the U.S. in 20 years.
They will not be on view to the public, though, for several weeks because they first have to do what? Fill out forms. That's what you'd expect. Yeah. No. I will give you
a hint, a lot of people do this when they move to the US from a foreign country. They
have to unpack. Yeah, well, obviously. Do this when they move to the US from a foreign country.
They have to learn the language? Yes, that's exactly right. Oh, they have to learn English?
The pandas have to learn English.
Are they in like a total immersion class?
I guess if you go to a zoo where the zookeepers are talking to you all day in English, that
is a kind of total immersion.
But yeah, they are in a quarantine period of several weeks and they're acclimating to
the US and that includes learning English so the zookeepers can talk to them, because they
like dogs, they listen, they know certain words, they can respond.
So the pandas are learning English.
It is so adorable when they use their giant paws to work duolingo.
Yeah.
And when, you know, there is nothing cuter than seeing a panda conjugate.
I'm only going to say, I mean, as you know, they're very endangered, and if they just
would conjugate more, we wouldn't have that problem.
In addition, as you probably know, giant pandas eat only bamboo.
Of course I know.
Like I never had a panda at my house.
Oh, is that what happened to them?
Like I never had a progressive panda dinner party.
Come on!
We go to the first panda's house and we have bamboo.
And then you go to the second panda's house and there's bamboo.
Yeah!
It's all they eat is bamboo.
Of course.
You know, you talk to me sometimes, Peter, like I'm an idiot.
Well, since you know that pandas only eat bamboo, you'll know that one of the things
they have to do is they have to get used to American bamboo as specifically the only kind
we serve in America, Flamin' Hot Bamboo.
Oh, it's totally different here, the bamboo, than the bamboo of yore.
Yeah.
Tom, an Ohio lawyer was this week reinstated to the bar after he was suspended simply for
doing what in a Pringles can?
I mean, I know the answer.
I'm just trying to think of a way to say it on NPR.
Yeah.
F*** in it.
You got it in one. I mean, I know the answer, I'm just trying to think of a way to say it on NPR. Yeah. F*** it, innit?
Yeah, that's...
You got it in one.
So yes, after getting suspended for pooping in a Pringles can, his lawyer was reinstated
after only six months.
Still, Rudy Giuliani has fallen so far. To eating Pringles. I'm not a Pringles fan.
I love Pringles. Oh my gosh. No, the terrible is too much packaging.
And they're just not good. There's nothing, there's nothing, you know, I'm a ruffles person,
but there's nothing remotely potatoish about what's in a Pringles can, especially now.
Oh.
Anyway, you're all thinking, you're all thinking, okay, what?
You poop in a Pringles can once, right?
And you don't get to be a lawyer anymore?
Yeah.
Well, this guy did it ten times.
Whoa.
In one year.
Wow.
So that, what was it was it one time micro. Yeah
Well in the defense the turds did all fit into a perfect stack that's true
And if you do it once you're like, I can't believe I can't do that again
The aim bet you can't poop just one. Um... Um...
Um...
Um...
Um...
Um...
Um...
Um...
Um...
Um...
Um...
Um...
Um...
Um...
Um...
Um...
Um...
Um...
Um...
Um...
Um...
Um... Um... Um... Um... Um... You can catch us here most weeks at the beautiful Studebaker Theater in Chicago, or come see us on the road. We'll be in Minneapolis on August 29th and 30th.
And the Wait Wait Stand Up Tour, it's back on sale now with shows in Fort Lauderdale,
Tampa, Orlando, and Atlanta from September 5th through the 8th.
For tickets and information, just go over to nprpresents.org.
And you can follow us on Instagram at WaitWaitNPR.
Come on, we dare you.
Hi, you're on Wait Wait, don't tell me. on, we dare you. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Hi, this is Jordan.
Hey, Jordan, how are you?
Great, thanks, how are you?
I'm well, thank you.
Where are you calling from?
I currently live in New York City.
New York City?
Heard of it.
So what do you do there?
I started a graduate program.
Oh, great.
And something useful and profitable, I hope.
Oh, absolutely, playwriting.
Oh, yeah, terrific.
Well, you are headed for untold wealth.
Well, welcome to the show, Jordan.
Now, you are going to play our listener limerick challenge.
That means that Chioki Iansen, filling in for Bill Curtis, is going to read you three
news related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each.
If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly, two of the limericks, you will
be a winner.
You ready to go?
Yes.
All right.
Let's begin.
Here's your first limerick.
When downtowns are deserted and struggle, entertainers can help ease those troubles. They are flashy and loud, but they
draw a big crowd. Get performers who sing, dance, and juggle.
Juggle, yes, according to the Wall Street Journal. Some cities are now hiring buskers,
jugglers, and mimes to, quote, make empty office districts feel safer and less depressing,
unquote. Because there's nothing that makes me feel safer than a guy lighting three machetes on
fire and saying, want to see something cool?
All right.
It's so weird that they say the economy's doing well when you have these big major cities
with nobody working and now people just juggling there.
Yeah.
Well, they're being paid to juggle, so their jobs are back, I guess.
Oh, that's how economics works. I love circus acts, but they should stay at the circus. Like,
downtown Baltimore used to be sketchy, but now they have all these clowns who stare at you.
All right, Jordan, here is your next limerick. That purplish wet cloud in the sky is a hippo that went zooming by.
It weighs more than a ton.
So when it starts to run, a big hippo will take off and fly.
Fly.
Yes, Jordan, a new study from the UK's Royal Veterinary School says hippos can fly briefly.
While running at high speed, hippos are able to lift their bodies off the ground and fly for 0.3 seconds.
And before you say, well, that's not very long, ask yourself, when's the last time you picked up a Chevy Blazer and held it in the air for 0.3 seconds?
See?
I don't know a lot about a lot of things.
Let's just leave it at that.
But I think that's jumping.
Well, that's one way of looking at it if you have no sense of romance and wonder.
Okay, Jordan, here is your last limerick.
The reentry of metals no good, because it makes much more waste than it should. When spacecrafts return, they should have a clean burn.
So are satellites made out of?
Wood.
Yes, wood.
After years of experiments, a Japanese engineer has, he says, perfected the first wooden satellite,
which he hopes to launch later this year.
It's part of Kyoto University's What Other Crap Can We Put in Space initiative.
So here's the thing.
And we've reported on this before.
We're excited to see it come to fruition.
When normal metal satellites reenter Earth's orbit, they burn up, a lot of toxic stuff enters
the atmosphere.
The hope is when the wooden satellite bursts into flames, all it will release is a cozy
cabin core vibe.
Nice.
It's also true that satellites made of wood are far safer against alien attacks than this
engineer's first idea, satellites made of straw.
Yeah, he's got to take that next step.
He really does, you think he's you all the way?
Yeah.
Brick satellites.
That's not going to work good in an earthquake, though.
I don't think they have. I'm not a scientist.
No!
Cut it out!
Cut it out!
But I did want to make a point that I don't think they have earthquakes in space.
They do.
OK, they're not earthquakes, because they're not on Earth, obviously, but spacequakes?
What are you kidding me?
It's an excellent strain of sativa, spacequakes.
Oh, I thought it was a cereal.
Chiochi, how did Jordan do in our quiz?
When Jordan wins that Tony for being a playwright, we'll say we knew them from winning the listener
limerick challenge.
There you go.
Nice.
Congratulations, Jordan.
Thank you.
All right.
We'll look for you off, off Broadway.
Yeah.
Bye, Jordan.
Perfect. Bye.
Bye bye.
And I'm falling for you now.
Hey, falling for you now.
New from the Embedded Podcast, what happens when three Republican women challenge their own party?
— Maybe we need to speak out a little bit bolder.
Maybe we need to do something to get people's attention.
— They have a front-row seat to democracy.
Now you do, too.
Listen to Supermajority from NPR's Embedded and WPLN.
— New from the Embedded podcast.
I hereby declare the House representatives of the 113th General Assembly of the state of Tennessee
now in session.
What happens when three moms set out to change the way state politics work?
We are smart and we are swift.
We are not going anywhere.
Listen to Supermajority from NPR's Embedded and WPLN. All episodes out now.
Here at Planet Money, we bring complex economic ideas down to Earth. We find weird, fun,
interesting stories that explain the way money shapes our lives. Inflation,
recessions, the price of gas. We've got you. Listen now to the Planet Money podcast from NPR.
Now in our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank,
each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer
as many Fill in the Blank questions as they can.
Each correct answer now worth two points.
Chioque, can you give us the scores as they stand?
Tom and Paula have two, Emmy has four.
Okay.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Yeah, pop open that can of Pringles.
How about that?
Wow.
All right, but that means that Tom and Paula are tied.
I'm going to arbitrarily choose you, Tom, to go first.
OK, Peter.
Here we go.
The clock will start when I begin your first question
and fill in the blank.
During his opening speech at the NATO summit,
President Biden promised new air defense for blank. Ukraine. Yes. On Monday, the Kansas Supreme
Court reaffirmed this state's constitutional right to blank. To abortion. Right. This week,
millions of people in Texas were left without power after Hurricane Blank hit that state.
Boil. Barrel. Right. This week, a man in Hong Kong was detained by customs after he tried to hide 100 blanks
in his blanks.
Bullets.
No, 100 snakes in his pants.
On Wednesday, comedian and former talk show host Blank announced she was retiring from
show business.
Ellen DeGeneres.
Right.
On Thursday, an emergency was declared in Colorado after a blank outbreak at an egg
factory.
Plague.
No, bird flu.
This week a first time flyer in China caused a commotion when she got up from her seat
to use the bathroom and blanked.
And opened the exit door.
Yes, she opened the emergency exit door.
Very good.
She mistook the emergency exit for the bathroom, opened the door and launched the inflatable
slide.
Fortunately for everybody involved, the plane was still
sitting there in the tarmac, so Noam was injured.
The slide did have to be replaced because, of course,
she then went ahead and peed on it.
That wasn't my best performance.
Well, let's find out.
Chokie, how did Tom Poppett do in our quiz?
Tom got five right for 10 more points.
That's a total of 12.
Tom now has the lead. All right, That's a total of 12. Tom now
has the lead. All right, Paula, you're up next. Fill in the blank. On Sunday, a leftist
alliance won the most votes during snap elections in blank. Paris. In France, yes. This week
NASA said it has no plans to use a SpaceX rocket to rescue astronauts stuck on the blank.
Well, they're on the space station, but they went up on the starliner. That's right. On
Tuesday, health officials in Colorado confirmed a human case of blank. Bird flu. No, the plague. I knew it. I knew
there was plague in Colorado. Everyone laughed at me. Yeah. This week, this week a Chicago
Cubs player was put on the injury list because he broke his hand blanking. High-fiving.
No, punching the wall of the dugout in anger.
On Thursday, BMW announced they were recalling almost half a million vehicles with faulty
blanks.
W's.
No.
Oh, that would be funny.
Oh, is that your new BM-am?
No, airbags.
Oh, no.
Known for her roles among many others in The Shining and Nashville blank
passed away this week at the age of 75.
Shelley Duvall.
Right.
This week diners in Australia were upset after a couple walked in and put their blank on
the table.
And put their blank on the table?
Yes.
Some people dining in Australia, well, they put their koala on the table, which is gross. You're so close. They put their dog on the table.
Oh.
They did, yes. Not only did they walk into the restaurant and put their dog on the table amidst all the food,
but it was one of those communal table restaurants.
Oh, well that's different.
Not only did the other customers have an animal sitting there right next to their meals,
but they had to make conversation with it.
Wow. Yeah.
It would have been worse if it was a Benihana.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Jokey, how did Paula do on our quiz?
I don't think we should even find out.
Paula got three right versus six more points.
OK.
That's a total more points. Okay.
That's a total of eight.
Yeah.
Tom is still in the lead.
Well, that doesn't seem right.
All right, then how many does Emmy need to win?
Emmy needs four to tie and five to win.
All right, Emmy.
If you need any help, if you need any help.
On Monday, Donald Trump tried to distance himself from the Heritage Foundation's Project
Blank.
2025.
Right.
This week, the involuntary manslaughter trial of actor Blank began in New Mexico.
Alec Baldwin.
Right.
For the first time since the start of the pandemic, U.S. blank prices fell.
Milk.
No.
Well, yes.
I'll give it to you.
Consumer prices.
This week, a cyclist in the Tour de France was fined after he blanked during the race.
Did drugs?
Stopped for a second to give his wife a kiss.
After just three weeks in theaters, Inside Out 2 has become blank's highest grossing movie ever.
Pixar's.
Right. On Thursday, Apple warned users in a hundred countries about new spyware attacks targeting the blank.
iPhone?
Right. This week a tourist being attacked on the streets of San Francisco
by someone described as a crazy pirate guy with a blowtorch was saved by blank. A DJ?
No by two nudists. According to onlookers the nude Samaritans knocked the assailant
over causing him to flee the scene. They were hailed as heroes but when the story was covered
by the local news, one of the
nudists declined to comment and this is true because he quote values his privacy.
Still one thing you have to say for these two men, they were ballsy.
Jokey, did Emmy Blotnick do well enough to win?
Oh my goodness, Emmy got five right for ten more points, so with a total of 14 points,
Emmy is the winner.
Congratulations!
Wow.
Yay!
That's huge.
It is big.
That was big.
It's the biggest thing that's happened today.
In just a minute, we'll ask our panelists to predict after his big op-ed about Biden
in the New York Times what will actor George Clooney weigh in on next.
But first let me tell you that, wait, wait, don't tell me, as a production of NPR and
WBEZ Chicago in association with urgent haircut production is Doug Berman, benevolent overlord.
Philip Kodaka writes our limericks, our public address announcer is Paul Friedman.
Our tour manager is Shana Donald.
Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studio Becker Theater, BJ, leader and composer at theme.
Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King.
Special thanks this week to Monica Hickey and Shantira Jackson.
Our employee of the month is Peter Gwynn.
Emma Choi is our vibe curator.
Technical direction is from Lorna White.
Technical thanks this week to Gary Yech.
Our CFO is Colin Miller.
Our production manager, that's Robert Newhouse.
Our senior producer is Ian Chalock.
And the executive producer, wait, wait, don't tell me, is Mike Danforth.
Now panel, what will actor and bomb vivant,
George Clooney, weigh in on next?
Emmy Blotnick.
I hope he screws the wheels back on aircraft at Boeing.
No, no, no.
Tom Papa.
He's going to weigh in on all the things
Simone Biles is doing wrong on the beam.
And Paula Poundstone. Well, if he wants to make himself actually useful, he could push Trump out.
And if any of that happens, panel, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Thank you, Jayuki Ayanso.
You did such a great job filling in for Bill.
Thanks also to Tom Papa, Emmy Blotnick, Paula Poundstone.
Thanks to our fabulous audience here at our home at the Studio Baker Theater in downtown
Chicago.
Thanks to all of you.
Thank you. Thanks also to Tom Pampa, Emmy Blotnick, Paula Poundstone. Thanks to our fabulous audience here at our home at the Studebaker Theatre in downtown
Chicago.
Thanks to all of you out there in the wider world for listening.
A good day, but we'll all see you next week.
This is NPR.
On the TED Radio Hour, over the last few years,
former White House chef Sam Kass has been hosting meals
that he calls last suppers.
On the menu, ingredients that are at risk
because of climate change.
I hope it's not that people feel guilty or depressed.
My hope is that we understand what's at stake
is really like fully our way of life.
The future of food.
That's on the TED Radio Hour from NPR.