Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - WWDTM: The First Quarter Century

Episode Date: April 8, 2023

We celebrate our 25th anniversary with Jackie Joyner-Kersee, Ed Helms, Bonnie Raitt, and more!Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm the guy who can say anything and make it sound like breaking news. I've got a license to Bill. Bill Curtis. And here's your host at the Studebaker Theater in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody. So this year, 2023, marks our 25th anniversary. So we are celebrating by taking a week off just to look at each other and say,

wow, where did all the time go? And then answer ourselves by playing some of the highlights from the past two and a half decades. The only thing worse than not remembering what you did with your limited time on Earth is having recorded evidence of it. Now, that's unless, of course, you get to talk to absolute legends of American music like Bonnie Raitt. Ms. Raitt joined us in 2012 and told us even if you've been at it for decades, there's still nothing more fun than going out on tour. It's as close to running away with a circus as you can get,

and, you know, you don't have to do as many chores as you do when you're at home. That's true. I should try it for that reason. Is anything different now, you know, in your 19th time than it was when you started out? Oh, you know, better hotels and a bit more comfortable bus, for starters, and, you know, better organic and a more comfortable bus, for starters. And, you know, better organic and good cooking at the gigs. And that way, when you have M&Ms, you really appreciate them. Has the lifestyle on tour changed? Has the quality of groupies improved, for example?

Oh, that's so funny. You know, I'll tell you what's changed is the Internet has made maintaining those relationships at home much more fun and compassionate. Because, you know, you can do Skype calls. It's cheaper. You can be in whatever clothes or no clothes you want. It really makes those calls to home a lot more fun. And that's a big change. It's fun partying when you're young, but as you get older, it takes its toll.

So in the 70s, partying with groupies, now naked Skyping. And you feel this is an improvement. With groupies. With groupies, of course. They're ones you're monogamous with. Yeah, I understand. So we were really curious and interested in your upbringing because you became, some people say

you're the greatest female blues guitarist ever, but you did not grow up in that environment. You grew up a Quaker of all things. Is that right? Well, yeah,

but that brought me into the counterculture early on. I went to the summer camps when my dad would be touring in his Broadway shows. I should say that your father,

of course, for those who don't know, was the amazing and immortal John Raitt, who created roles... Yeah, the star of Oklahoma Carousel. Right on Broadway, yeah. But, you know, I'm a kid of my times,

and the folk music craze was taking over when I was nine or ten, and Joan Baez was on the cover of Time magazine, and Peter, Paul, and Mary, and Bob Dylan. You know, I was ripe as a preteen for idolizing my counselors at camp, all of whom were exactly imitating every folky in Greenwich Village. And I was trying so hard to get that sallow, hollow-cheeked look,

and it just wasn't working on my little round, freckled face. Yeah, I mean, I came into it through folk music. It was just a hobby. Never expected to do it. I was a cheap opening act. I didn't need a band. I could play open for James Taylor. I did a little ballads. I did a little modern stuff. And I thought it was a cool way to make some extra money during college. But the last thing I was expecting was to be offered a record

deal at 20. I told the college people I'd be back in a year. And I guess that didn't work out. You know, I was just there. They're still hurt. You know, they gave me the Harvard Arts Medal a few years ago. Even though I only went two years, it was great. Wow. It is generally true that the coolest people dropped out. Pete Seeger, Bill Gates, Zuckerberg, Mark Zuckerberg. That's the thing to do.

Well, there you go. I'm going to go do it again. They said I could come back and audit classes and finish whenever this wasn't working out. You see? and finish whenever this wasn't working out. You see? When you were going back and forth from Radcliffe to Harvard, you know, to blues clubs,

was that weird to make the transition? Did you have to stop outside before you went into the blues club and muss up your hair? No. You know, we all had that soulful beat and that kind of long hair thing going on in the late 60s and early 70s. And that ended the business that's more rootsy in America. They call it Americana music.

We're the kind of artists that get a chance to age gracefully in this business. We don't sell as many records, but here I am at 62 still with a career. And if I was dancing around in my underwear when I was in my 20s, I don't know if I'd still be doing that.

Boy, apparently I made the right choice as well. Wow, we have found a look in you. I know. I'm thinking, if you'll forgive me, thinking about these young singers, particularly these female singers and performers, are so carefully packaged these days. And I'm wondering, when you started out,

when you were signed to that record deal, did the record company execs say, okay, we want you to do this, we want you to do just like this? Oh, I told them, well, first of all, Warner Brothers was a small label. They had Randy Newman and Ry Cooter, and they said, okay, we want you to do this, we want you to dress like this? Oh, I told them, well, first of all, Warner Brothers was a small labeler. They had Randy Newman and Ry Cooter, and they said, fine, we'll pay for your records and the other kind of non-commercial artists we have like Randy and Ry, we'll pay for them with Black Sabbath

and Deep Purple, and that was the philosophy, was the big money makers would pay for the more artsy projects. But those days of not paying attention to how your image, with all the social media, I think, I just want to say, on behalf of Lady Gaga and Taylor, and, you know, even Nora Jones doing so well, and Adele, they're incredibly poised and mature in the way that they're approaching their career, and I'm really, really impressed with this crop of, especially with the crop of women singers I'm really, really impressed with this crop of, especially with the crop of women singers I just mentioned,

but there's a lot of guys, even if they're being managed, they seem to be very self-aware. There's a lot more sophistication. If I can back up, Bonnie, you said that Black Sabbath and Deep Purple helped basically pay for Bonnie Raitt and James Taylor. So we've got, like, we can thank Smoke on the Water for, like, loving me like a man.

Is that what you said? Exactly. Oh, man. You know, Katy Perry helps pay for all those Americana acts that don't shave, men and women. Is that a genre, the non-shaving music? Yeah, I think hairiness is making a big comeback. Oh, I like to listen to adult, hairy contemporary.

You know, that's my taste. That is so great. Well, Bonnie Raitt, we are delighted to have you with us. We've asked you here to play a game that this time we're calling... I'm sorry, did you say Bonnie Raitt? You, Bonnie Raitt, are a multiple award-winning legendary musician. Change one little letter and you get Donnie Raitt, who worked at the Des Moines, Iowa Metro Waste Authority for many years.

Oh my gosh. It's amazing. I should have looked him up. We were just close to there. I know. It's amazing what you will find when you do a typo in your Google search. So we actually called up the Des Moines, Iowa Metro Waste Authority and found out a little bit about Donny Raitt. And we're going to ask you, and found out a little bit about Donnie Raitt.

And we're going to ask you, Bonnie Raitt, about him, Donnie Raitt. That is so fast-forwarding. I was trying to figure out what you might ask me. That's what we're going to do. So if you get two right, you win a prize for one of our listeners. Bill Curtis, who is Bonnie Raitt playing for? Peter Jacoby from Woodbury, Connecticut. Here we go.

First question. Donnie Raitt worked for the Metro Waste Authority for 31 years, a long and fulfilling career. What is the MWA's stated policy on disposing of old medication? Is it A, quote, mix with items such as kitty litter or coffee grounds and double bag them? B, quote, dispose of them immediately on their expiration date unless you have Vicodin, which, trust us, is always fun.

Or C, quote, pour them out into a big bowl and create a fun party grab bag game. Oh, I love that third one, but my 20s are over, so I'm going with number one. The kitty litter.

Yes, you're right. Yes, kitty litter. And what if you don't have a cat or you don't drink coffee? Well, buy a cat who drinks coffee. Next question.

Donnie Raitt, retired from the Metro Waste Authority in 2008. Until then, what was his specialty? A. Waste tasting. B. Shaming of people who don't recycle. Or C. Composting. Oh, boy.

I'd have to say the third one. The composting. You would be right. Yes, he was the working foreman. Donnie Raitt was at the composting center. I'm a big composter. You would be right. Yes, he was the working foreman. Johnny Raitt was at the composting center. I'm a big composter. I'm so glad to hear so many in my family. There's not that many Raitts around. I'm very proud. Maybe I'll

call them up. You should. We'll talk about kitty litter and composting. Coffee grounds. Skype him. It could be. After 31 years of working in the waste That could be The biggest thrill Of his life Last question

Especially if I'm wearing What I'm wearing Almost wearing right now Bonnie You tease Last question Donnie Raitt Used to joke

With his co-workers That he was really what? A. A killer robot From the future B. Elvis Or C. Bonnie Raitt's cousin Oh I think I think C But it it might be sounding too puffed up.

No, it is in fact true. All right. And he, being one letter away from you, used to claim that he was your... I bet you we have DNA strands that are connected. There's not that many Raitts. It's possible, but he apparently is not related to you. By the way, we were told

we wanted to talk to Donnie, but we were told he doesn't use the phone much. So we talked to his former colleagues about him. By the way, but we did find out from them that he is a fan. So there you are. Oh, I'm so glad that you told me about him. That's fantastic. Isn't it exciting? How do you guys

come up with this? This is fantastic. It was really, we just We were Googling you And we made a typo and he popped up And we're like, well, we got nothing else Let's ask her about him Bill, how did Bonnie Raitt do in our quiz? Bonnie's perfect And Peter Jacoby will love you for it

Bonnie Raitt, thank you so much for joining us On Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me And Peter Jacoby will love you for it. We love you, too. Bonnie Raitt, thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Let's go from more than a decade ago to just two weeks ago in Tucson, Arizona, when Paula Poundstone expressed her feeling about fudge that we didn't have time to share with you before. So, I was raised in Massachusetts, so marshmallow fluff is a big part of my life. And do you remember the glass jars that had the blue and white lids? Right?

They don't even have that blue and white lid anymore. They have a plastic red lid. Go figure. But, okay, on that, on the white part, in very small, light blue print, there was a recipe for never fail fudge. And so we were at the Ross's house, and all the parents were gone. It was just the kids at the Ross's house. And my sister and Janet Ross decided to make the never fail fudge. But the print was so small and so pushed together

that they read two and a half cups of sugar as 21 half cups of sugar and they put it in I don't even think that they combined it and figured out how many cups would that be plus a half and I've got to tell you something best fudge I've ever eaten. When the time seems just right I never want to have to say goodnight

Cause you're my sugar You're my sugar. You're my sugar. You're my sugar. Sugar mine. When we come back, a Motown legend and the time we discovered a phenomenon of nature named Mas Jobrani. That's when we return with more Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theater in the Fine Arts Building in downtown Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. Thank you so much. Listen, we are in the middle of a nostalgic reverie about the first 25 years of our show, and one of the things we're looking back on is origin stories. Like with superheroes. For example, I was given this voice by a dying alien who had just crash landed on this planet. And told me I must use it to fight evil.

And advertise the NPR wine club. So Maz Jobrani is, of course, a beloved panelist on our show, but his first appearance ever was as a special guest, brought on to play Not My Job back in 2010. I asked him about his first memories of America after emigrating from Iran as a child. One of the first memories I have, we went to, actually we stopped in New York for a little bit,

and I remember going to Macy's with my mom and I was a big fan of the color orange and they had Snoopy orange gloves, hat and scarf and I bought it and it was the best thing ever. I loved America right there. Right there. So you talk in your act about your parents. They were traditional in many ways.

Did they, what did they think about your choice of career? Well, you know, a lot of immigrant parents, especially Middle Eastern parents, want you to be a lawyer or a doctor.

Yeah. So when I told them that I wanted to be a comedian, my mom said, that sounds like you said lawyer? But then she would encourage me, listen, why don't you become a lawyer and you can tell jokes during the trial?

But I mean, was it tough? I mean, did you feel like, did you feel, I don't know, guilt? Did you worry if you could make this work? Being a comedian is a tough job. You know what, actually you feel like, did you feel, I don't know, guilt? Did you worry if you could make this work? Being a comedian is a tough job. You know what? Actually, what happened was I actually, when I finally told her I was going to go and be an actor and a comedian, she got so desperate.

She would suggest jobs that I should look into just as a backup. Yeah. And she would base it on the last guy who came to our house to fix something. I'm not kidding. I came home one time. She's like, have you thought about being a washing machine fixer guy? She's like, you could save me money and make a little money. Your mom sounds like the toughest room you've ever worked, probably.

You know what? She was the toughest room. And what's crazy now, she's the biggest fan. So now she comes over to the house and she goes, you know, I need some of your t-shirts for my neighbor. I need a couple of DVDs. I'm like, mom, this stuff costs. She's like, I'm your mother. Just give it to me. So you're doing, I mean, you're doing ethnic humor here in the United States. Ethnic humor is ethnic humor. But you've actually gone to the Middle East with your act, right? Yeah. You know, in the end of 2007, me and the other guys at the Max Evil Comedy Tour, Ahmed Ahmed and Aaron Kater,

we all went out to the Middle East, did a tour. We did all these sold-out shows. It was amazing. In Jordan, we did a show where the King of Jordan showed up. Really? Yeah. That was pretty crazy. Wow a show where the King of Jordan showed up. Really? Yeah, that was pretty crazy. Wow. What did the King of Jordan think?

I think he was laughing. I think he invited us to the palace, and we weren't, you know, thrown in prison or anything. You know, actually, what's funny about what you just said is in some of the places you do shows, like in Dubai, you actually have to submit your set to the censors. Yeah. And a few times it happened where I was writing, in Dubai, you actually have to submit your set to the censors. Yeah. And a few times it happened where I was writing out my set, and when you're writing out your set as a comedian, you're like, wow, this doesn't read as funny as it plays when I'm doing it, you know, live.

Yeah. And then I thought, well, now they're going to take this set that's been written out, it's not as funny already, and then they're going to translate it to Arabic so the censors can understand it. Right. And they might not approve it just based on, this is not funny. already, and then they're going to translate it to Arabic so the censors can understand it. Right. And they might not approve it just based on, this is not funny. Why would you? Yeah, exactly.

You do stuff about all the different cultures in the Middle East, right? Like Egyptians versus Syrians versus Iranians? Yeah, I do. You know, a lot of that stuff works better in the Middle East where they know about the different... All right, so give me an example. I want you to give me an example of a kind of joke that would absolutely kill playing on the subtle but important funny differences in the Middle East,

and I want you to do it for us. Okay, okay, I'm going to try. Like, for example, I was recently in Beirut, and they said that... Because the Lebanese and the Iranians are obsessed with plastic surgery. They love their plastic surgery. Right.

So in Beirut, in Lebanon, you can actually get a loan from the bank for plastic surgery. Right. So in Beirut, in Lebanon, you can actually get a loan from the bank for plastic surgery. Okay. So I don't know how that works. I don't know if people are going in going like, yes, hi, I was going to remodel my house, but I've decided to remodel my wife. We were going to add a bathroom, but we're adding boobs. It works out there.

I know, it works here. It totally works. That's great. Is that what you do? You're in Syria, you tell Jordanian jokes. You're in Jordan, you tell Egyptian jokes. You're in Egypt, you tell Saudi jokes. Actually, you know what?

A lot of times you tell jokes about the country you're in. They love laughing about them. People love laughing about how horrible their traffic is. It's crazy. Like in Egypt, I always say there should be a video game for traffic in the Middle East, and Egypt would be the most advanced level. Oh, absolutely. I've been there.

I know what you mean. It's insane. Crossing the street is worth your life. And they're so casual about everything. Like I saw, last time I saw a little pickup truck with piles of garbage bags piled up like a pyramid. Yeah. But they weren't tied down,

which made me realize the Egyptians are really good with holding things in places shaped like pyramids. Yeah. But just to show off how cocky they were, there was a guy

sitting on top of the pile of garbage and he was combing his hair. Hey, you got to look good. You got to look good. And I was like, what is he, expecting to meet somebody up there? Maybe he found his comb there.

Yeah. He's been looking for that comb for years, and he found it in the top of the pile of garbage. Well, welcome to the show, Muggs. We have asked you here to play a game we're calling... Here, let me open that bottle for you. Ow! What is going on?

That was very moving, actually. I hope that was in the script. It was. It's merely the power of his acting that has known him. Wow. What he's trying to get at is that professional baseball players are elite athletes. They demonstrate strength and skill and flexibility that

sometimes seems superhuman, which raises the question, why do they keep injuring themselves in really dumb ways? We're going to ask you three questions about the odd ways in which baseball players have hurt themselves just in this season alone And if you get two questions right You'll win a prize for one of our listeners

Carl's voice in their voicemail Carl, who is comedian Maz Jobrani playing for? Maz is playing for Edward Pape of San Antonio, Texas All right, you ready to play? I'm ready to do this Okay, just a few weeks ago Jeff Blum of the Houston Astros Landed on the 15-day disabled list when he injured himself doing what?

A, answering his cell phone, B, putting on his shirt, or C, snoring? I'm going with shirt. You're right. That's what he did. He was putting it on. Felt a pop. Ended up missing some games. He was diagnosed with floating bodies in his arm.

Next question. Left fielder Chris Coghlan of the Florida Marlins is out for six to eight weeks. He hurt his leg trying to do something for another teammate. What was it? A, hit him in the face with a shaving cream pie. B, he was trying to get a female fan's phone number for him

from someone in the stands. Or C, he put pepper to get a female fan's phone number for him from someone in the stands. Or C, he put pepper in that other player's underwear. Pepper in the other player's underwear, huh? Yeah, he ended up getting hurt. Yeah, I don't know how you'd hurt your feet doing that. Oh, you're

not thinking. I'm going to go with the pie in the face. They seem to do that a lot. They do that a lot. And when he did it, he hurt his leg. That's right. He came up to his teammate. He was just hit.

The game-winning run. Pie in the face. Tore his meniscus muscle. Nice. Last injury, the most ironic injury this season, happened to Kendri Morales of the Los Angeles Angels. He broke his leg, ending his season doing what? A, he was trying to stretch out his leg so that he would not injure it. It was the Grand Slam.

You're right. That's what happened. You know what happens, right? Player hits a game-winning home run. He runs around the bases. The tradition is the other players gather to greet him in a pile at home plate. Kendrick Morales running in so happy, he jumps up in the air to land amidst his teammates, and he falls straight down on the ground.

And then the other players are going, dude, what's up, dude? He's out for the season. Carl, how did Maz Jobrani do on our show? Maz had three correct answers, Peter, so he wins for Edward Peete. Well done. Congratulations. That was done masterfully. Maz Jobrani's DVD, Maz Jobrani, Brown and Friendly, is out now.

He's performing at the Pasadena Ice House August 27th and 28th. Go see him. You can find out more at mazjobrani.com. Maz, thank you so much for being with us. Thanks a lot, guys. We've been around long enough that we've been able to talk to people who were giants even before we were. Like Duke Fakir, one of Motown's famous four tops, who joined us in 2012. And appropriately enough, Peter asked him about his origin story. So let's do like they do in the comic books, the origin story. You were a high school student near here in Detroit?

At Pershing High. Pershing High. Pershing High, dope boy. Any dope boys out there? Yeah! All right, we got one. And you started performing with a friend of yours in high school. Who was that first?

Levi Stokes. You and Levi first? Levi Stubbs. You and Levi. We started it, yeah. And two more. Mr. Rinaldo O.B. Benson and Lawrence Payton. Okay. So tell me about you were there in the heyday of Motown. You went from Chester Motown.

So Barry Gordy had seen us on a Tonight Show. We were working out of New York. So, he had this A&R director who knows us quite well to get in touch with us. And at that time, we were thinking about how we could get in touch with Barry. Right. So, it really worked out. I mean, we rushed back to Detroit and sat down, and he just promised us his records. And he did it.

Once he put us with Harlan Doge and Harlan. He's a great songwriter. They were great songs. Yeah. Well, tell me how that happened for you. For example, like a song like The Same Old Song, one of your hits. Well, The Same Old Song came about after Sugar Pie Honey Bunch, Can't Help Myself. Can't Help Myself was probably one of our biggest hits.

That and Reach Out. It had been on the charts number one for 19 weeks. So when it fell from one to five, Berry Gordy came in the studio and started screaming, we got an anchor, it's number five with an anchor, we don't have another record to follow. So he told Harlan Dozen, Harlan. He says look this is Thursday I gotta have a record and I gotta have a record on the tops by Monday So Lamont Dozier and I went out and we had a few drinks We was feeling quite good, and he was feeling just a little better than I

So I said look man, I was driving and I said let me take you home So I went to his house. He said, come on in for a minute. Let's have a nightcap. So we had a nightcap and we was talking. And as usual, he just went to his piano and he started tinkering around. He was playing Can't Help Myself. But then he started playing it backwards.

Same chord, just playing. I said, it sounds like that same song we just recorded, Can't Help Myself. He said, it sounds like that same song we just recorded. Can you help me? He said, same song. He said, okay, Duke, I'm fine. I'll see you later. And I went home. The next day they called us to come to the studio, Friday. They had recorded a track called the same old song, a rhythm track.

We sang the song. They mixed it. Sunday, they called us into the office to stamp label copies. Monday, it was on the air. We was all stamping labels. You had to go there and stamp your own labels? Why not? Are you kidding? Yeah. You get it on the air by Monday, yes. So, Duke, you have a lot of swoon-worthy songs, right? So, when you were dating, when you did want to court somebody,

what was your go-to song that you would sing to her? Baby, I Need Your Lovin'. Oh, yeah. But wait a minute, you need the other three chops to come with you on the date to make it work.

No, no, no. That's the only time I could do a solo. Well, what a pleasure to talk to you. But, Duke, we have asked you here to play a game that today we are calling… You are one of the four tops. Now it's time for three bottoms. Seems to make sense. Oh, that makes sense.

We got three questions for you about different kinds of bottoms. Answer two of them. I can answer all of those. I bet. Excuse me. We have three questions for you about bottoms. Carl, who is Duke Fakir playing for? Duke is playing for Ronald Bazman of Brighton, Michigan. All right, you ready to do this? Okay. Here's your first question. The bottom is the name of the capital of the tiny island of Saba in the Caribbean Netherlands. The Sabans also demonstrated

their genius for naming things how? A. There's a desert on the north side of the island called the Big Damp. B. The favorite food of the island is something they call gut fruit. Or C. The one road on the island is called the road.

So? One of those things is true. The road. Yes, you're right. The road. Road, the road on the island of those things is true. The road. Yes, you're right. The road. Road, the road. The island of Saba is called the road. It was built by a guy who took a correspondence course in engineering.

It's quite a ride, we're told. All right. Next question. Sometimes bottoms play a role in history. It happened recently. It was at the bottom of Governor Haley Barber of Mississippi? He decided not to run for president because he said his butt gets numb in long meetings.

Was it the butt of Saddam Hussein? A British soldier stole the butt of a statue of him and came home with it. Iraq wants it back. Or C, relations between Israel and Palestine were briefly improved some years ago when Shimon Peres butt-dialed Mahmoud Abbas. Number three.

You're going to go for number three? Do you have a problem, Moe? Is something wrong? I think he should reconsider. Do you want to reconsider? I cannot vouch for Moe. I can tell you that he's sincere in his desire. I just like the way number three sounds. All right, I understand that. I'm sticking with it. He's going to stick with it.

Well, Mo was right. In fact, it was B, it was Saddam Hussein. Yeah, Saddam Hussein's spot. Last question. President William Howard Taft had the biggest bottom of any president to date. Yeah. Has a role in his legacy.

According to legend, A, he claimed his bottom would tingle whenever he should veto a piece of legislation. That's how he knew. B, his butt was too big for a chair at a baseball game, and when he stood up to stretch, he began the tradition of the seventh inning stretch. Or C, what was then

the square office became the oval office because he needed more room to turn around. I like B. You're going to go for B, the seventh inning stretch? Is that your choice? Yeah. Yes, that's it.

That's the story. The fact is that Taft became the first president to attend a baseball game and throw out the first pitch. The legend is that he started the seventh inning stretch by standing up at the seventh inning to relieve his cramped condition. William Howard Taft was so large, he had a bathtub built in the White House

that could fit four men. Or one Taft. Exactly. There's a picture of the four guys. Four bottoms. fit four men. Or one taft. Exactly. There's a picture of the four guys. For four bottoms. Oh, wow. There you go.

Carl, how did Duke do in our quiz? Well, Duke had two correct answers, Peter, so he wins for Ronald Bassett. Well done, Duke. Congratulations. Duke Fakir is one of the original four tops. You can find him on Twitter, Facebook, and you can see him perform in Bloomington, Illinois on January 21st at the Bloomington Center

for the Performing Arts. Duke Fakir, thank you so much for joining us. My pleasure. What a pleasure. Thank you. When we come back, we host comedian and actor Ed Helms, as well as athlete Jackie Joyner-Kersee, and we find out who's faster. That's in a minute on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

We'll be right back. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theater in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. This week, we are dipping into the archives for some highlights from our first 25 years. But after 25 years of accumulation, dipping isn't quite right. Diving, maybe. I'll put on my pool floaties.

Sometimes it's amazing the range of guests we have managed to convince to come on our show. To illustrate it, here is a final pair. First, in June 2009, we were joined by comedian and actor Ed Helms, famous for The Office and The Hangover movies. And of course, Peter ignored all those achievements and asked him about playing the banjo. Ed Helms, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you very much. Great to have you. Delighted to be here. Let's go right to the stuff people most want to hear. You do, in fact, play the banjo.

Oh, yes. Yes. It's something I've loved for a very long time, and I've been wrestling with it my entire life. Are you trying to wrestle it into submission? Well, you know, it's one of those things that sort of increases your social isolation. Yeah.

Or I suspect someone might take up the banjo if they just were really angry at their spouse. There you are. So in Hangover, the movie that just opened this weekend, you're missing a tooth. Yes. And it turns out, we were fascinated to discover that this isn't special effects. You actually don't have a tooth. That is true. A single tooth? You don't have a single tooth?

Well, when I was, I don't have any teeth. Again, I go, that's because I'm a banjo player. When you pick up the banjo, you have to hand in your teeth. Exactly. No, I was born without a right lateral incisor. No.

Yeah. So I had a baby tooth, but the adult tooth never came in. So when I was a teenager, I got an implant, which I had for 20 years. an implant, which I had for 20 years. And then for some reason, I just mentioned that I happened to have an implant. Come on, you tell everyone this story. So what's amazing is you were just ready, as you say, the role was written, he's missing a tooth, it's a plot point, and you were ready to go. Do you have any other natural deformities that will be useful to you in future roles? Is it that you have a peg leg and someday there'll be a pirate script

that will show up on your desk? Well, I do. It's weird. I do have my left hand is a machine gun. I wanted to get back a little bit to the roles you're most well-known for. It's The Daily Show and now in The Office. Is there a way that you can describe the character that you've played? Is it the same guy? Yes. I tried to inject a certain sort of stupid earnestness into my work.

I've built my career on that. You sort of continue this in The Office. Isn't your character in The Office, like everybody else in that show, a lot less smart than he thinks he is? Yes, exactly. My character in The Office, Andy Bernard, doesn't have a poker face.

No. He wears everything on his sleeve, but he doesn't think he does. Right. He's totally transparent, but he thinks he's stealthy. Right. Is there any kind of research that you need to do or life experience that you can bring to play people who are dumber than you are? Well, I guess I appreciate the assumption that I'm smarter than these characters. Of course, you could have just said, well, what do you mean by that?

And then we would have known it's true, I guess. No, you know, especially Andy Bernard, he's a guy that I ultimately sort of feel sorry for, which is how I find a lot of affection for him as an actor. There's sort of pity going on. Yeah. One of the things we've noticed about The Office, we've heard about it, is the way it's done, it's done as a faux documentary, meaning that the idea is that the camera can go anywhere. So you guys are often on set pretending to work in this office while they're shooting

scenes around you, right? Isn't that how it works? Yeah, absolutely. And have you, I mean, we've learned, for example, that one of your co-stars in the show, she just spends all day shopping online. But what do you do when you're sitting there at your desk and you're not in the shop, but you might be at any minute? How do you amuse I read banjo blogs. No. I swear to God.

Really? I sift through bluegrass websites. What are the entries on banjo blogs like? It's like day 48, still alone. I mean, what? I don't like all this putting down banjo. It was the number one instrument in the Rainbow Connection song played by Kermit. Which I also played on The Office. Do you really?

I played that song on The Office on my banjo. I just want to say, I have friends who play the banjo, and they all tell banjo jokes. I mean, it is the... Yeah, we're all sort of self-loathing in a way. Yeah, we're all sort of self-loathing in a way. I mean, but I, look, I mean, to be totally candid, I love banjo music. I don't know why.

I can't explain it. It's some sort of genetic deformity in me, but I love it. Do you happen to have your banjo handy? No, I'm sorry, I don't. All right, can you show us the missing tooth? Now, one last question. We saw you in Letterman and you did your amazing

Tom Brokaw impersonation. Oh, thank you. Which is really stunning. Thank you. Can we hear a little bit of it because we mentioned it now? Sure, sure, sure. The Israelis have once again launched an attack on the Palestinians. That's amazing.

I also do an Al Gore. Well, that's what we heard. We want to just get to this. We heard that you do, and I don't know how you come up with this, a gay Al Gore. Right. We really want to hear that for once in our lives. We really want to hear that for once in our lives. If I were elected president, I would make absolutely certain

that patent leather stiletto heels came in men's sizes. And finally, we went to St. Louis in June of 2013 and talked to the woman that Sports Illustrated had just called the greatest female athlete of the 20th century, Jackie Joyner-Kersee, who still lived near where she grew up in East St. Louis. Peter asked her if she got recognized walking around town or maybe sprinting around town faster than the wind itself. So are you well-known here in St. Louis where you live? I mean, do people like see you in the street? Like come up and say,

jump, jump for me or something? I don't know. Yeah. They don't ask me to jump. They might ask me, do I want to race? Do they really? Yes. People come up to you. You're like the big guy in the bar who always gets challenged to a fight. It's like, oh, it's Jackie Joyner Cursor. I'm really drunk. I'm going to go try to race her now. Well, not quite in the bar, but... You grew up in East St. Louis across the river, right? Right. And you were a talented athlete as a young girl. You were always into athletics?

Yes, I was always into athletics, but I really wasn't really good in track because I started running at the age of nine, and my first race I finished last. Did you really? Yes, I did. It sounds like that still bothers you. Yeah. What kind of a race was it?

It was the 400 meters. And so I remember saying to myself the next time out, if I can improve a tenth of a second if I was running, then that meant I was getting better. But sometimes the places remain the same. I was like, okay, I'm in eighth place, seventh place. I'm slowly moving up. Really? So you weren't one of those kids who were like immediately everybody knew you had a special talent. You had to really work for it.

Well, my coaches might have known, but when you finish in eighth place and seventh place, that ain't special. No. I wonder where that kid is who won first place in that race. What did that place do? We read that you actually made your own sand pit to jump in, to do long jump.

Yes. And that you had to collect sand from all to jump in? To do long jump? Yes. And that you had to collect sand from all around East St. Louis to make it? Is that true? Well, not quite around East St. Louis. It was a park across the street from where I live, and they had a sandbox. And so I would convince my sisters. We would take potato chip bags, and we would walk over to the park. Uh-oh. we would take potato chip bags and we would walk over to the park and we would fill the bags with the sand and bring it back to our front yard so I could

practice on my jumping. I mean, did any of your siblings say, why don't you just go jump over there? We'll save a lot of time. See, we weren't supposed to leave the yard. So we would go to the park. So as long as we all went together and came back together, and then before my mom got home, and we never collected enough sand for me to jump in the pit, but I was jumping off. We had a porch and a banister.

So I would practice my jumping, and my mom didn't know because it was just a little bit amount of sand. I love the story of you guys smuggling the dirt. It's like the Great Escape. These little kids are, like, sneaking over there, holding the potato chip bag, trying to look nonchalant. So once you started winning, you know, when did you get on the path to the Olympics?

When I was 14, I saw the 76 Olympic Games on television. And I remember going to my coaches, When I was 14, I saw the 76 Olympic Games on television. Yeah. And I remember going to my coaches and I asked them, did they think that I could make the Olympics because that's my dream? I want to go to the Olympics because I saw women at that time doing what I was trying to do. Right. And I was like, wow, well, maybe I can get on TV by going to the Olympics.

So, that's what I did. I watched the 76 Olympics. I just said, that makes me tired. I got some more ice cream. But now, I mean, you went to four Olympics.

I can't even count your medals. Four gold medals over the four Olympics or more? Three gold. Three gold. A silver and two bronze. Really?

Where do you keep your medals now? Thank you. And a world record that still stands in the heptathlon, right? Yes. Okay. So where do you keep the medals in your house? Well, they're in a safe place. If I were to come over to your house, and I'm not angling for an invitation, but if I were to come over to your house, would I see them? Are they out? Well, no, they're not out. No, really? Oh, mine would be everywhere.

I was about to say. If I had one Olympic medal, I would be wearing it now. Yeah. I'd be wearing, oh, this enormous medallion around my neck. Well, that's my Olympic medal. With a bowl of Wheaties right in front of you. Exactly. Really?

But you don't ever take them out and just go, oh, yeah. You know, you could. But, you know, when you look at the gold medals or the silver medal or the bronze medal, it's like, oh, all that hard work. Ooh, them 12 hours. Oh, 365 days out of the year. Let me put that away. Your brother Al is an Olympic gold medal winner. Did you ever, did you go up competitively?

Did you ever race him? I winner. Did you ever, did you go up competitively? Did you ever race him? I did. Did you smoke him? I did. Did you? If your brother were here right now, would he confirm this story? Oh, yes, he would confirm. He confirmed this story.

Okay. I just wanted to say. He wouldn't lie. But he would also say that he beat me to winning the first Olympic gold medal, though. That's true. I'm curious, like, if you're ever on the way to a meeting and you're in a traffic jam,

I mean, do you ever just get out of the car and just sprint right there? You know what? You have those thoughts, but a lot of times you're going to a meet and you got on heels. But, you know, some people run in heels. Could you do that? Could you sprint in heels?

No, I could barely walk in them. So, I know I'm not going to sprint. This is what I want to happen. That's your dream, Mel. My dream is that Jackie is walking down the street and some guy grabs her purse and runs. Yes. No.

Exactly. That's the iPhone thing. Like when you walk down the street, because there's all this rash of iPhone thievery where people snatch out of your hands. And so people are really protective, but you can just wave it all around. You don't got to worry about anything.

Can you still throw a javelin? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I can. Is there ever reason to? Yeah, if someone steals your iPhone. Right. Because, you know, I got the fold-up javelin in my bag. Yeah. That's cool.

Dangerous woman. Well, Jackie Joyner-Kirson, we are so delighted to talk to you. And we have invited you here today to play a game we're calling... May Thunder Blast Your Head. So your name, of course, is Kirsi, but how Kirsi are you? We're going to ask you three questions about curses from around the world. You learned about these on the website asylum.com. Get two right, you'll win our prize for one of our listeners,

Carl Castle's voice on their voicemail. Bill, who is Jackie Joyner-Cursey playing for? Cynthia Kreider of St. Louis, Missouri. Okay. The hometown person. Okay, Jackie, here's your first question. In Turkey, they insult rich, entitled people by saying which of these? A, you are a child of pudding.

B, may your domestic help regularly look at you in the eye in an insolent way. Or C, you donate to public radio. So there's none above, right? No, no, you're not going to ask me. It's one of the things. I'll review it. I go A, pudding. You're going to go A, you are a child of pudding.

You're right. Very good. Yes. Not being Turkish, we have no idea why they say that. Next question. Next question is very good. In Portugal, you might insult a guy by telling him to do what? A, go eat at White Castle.

B, go comb a monkey. Or C, go try to reform the international banking system. Those are insults, ways to send them away in an insulting way. Portugal? Portugal. Okay, B. Go coma monkey. You're right.

Very good. Jackie, one more question. Let's go for the gold, as it were. In Iceland, if you get really angry at somebody, you can call them a prumpasen, a prumpasen, which means you're calling them what? A, a Bjork tribute act, B, a fart chicken, or C, a dish of overcooked horse meat. Oh my God. In Iceland? Iceland. A fart chicken? A fart chicken.

We go with the fart chicken. You want to go with the fart chicken? Yes, it's the fart chicken. Bill, how did Jackie Joyner-Kersee do in our quiz? Another gold medal for her road. Jackie Joyner-Kersee is a track and field legend and the founder of the Jackie Joyner-Kersee Foundation and center in East St. Louis, Illinois. Her new youth athletics program is winning for life.

Jackie Joyner-Kersee, thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. That's it for this week's deep dip into the archives. Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord, Philip Godeka writes our limericks, our public address announcer is Paul Friedman,

our tour manager is Shane O'Donnell. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studio Baker Theatre. BJ Liederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Monica Hickey. Peter Gwynn is our time warp again. Our intern is Vaishnavi Naidoo. Technical direction is from Lorna White.

Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilog. And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mike Danforth. Thanks to everyone you heard, all our panelists, all our guests, and of course, Bill Curtis. Thanks to all of you for listening. I'm Peter Sagal.

We'll be back with a new show next week. Thank you. This is NPR.