Watch What Crappens - #118: From Hags to Bitches
Episode Date: March 13, 2014This week on WATCH WHAT CRAPPENS Ben Mandelker (bsideblog.com) and Ronnie Karam (trashtalktv.com) are joined by Katie Cazorla (The Nail Files, TVGN) to discuss an blockbuster week in Bravo. ...First, the trio vent at length about the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills season finale. Spoiler alert: they're all Team Lisa. Then it's on to the Season Premiere of Real Housewives of New York City where Ben, Ronnie, and Katie discuss our old faves (Ramona), the new faces (Kristen), and everything in between (mostly Aviva). Lastly, the gang focuses their targets on misogynistic Peter and The Real Housewives of Atlanta. How did the group's trip to Mexico start off? We dissect it all. Also up for discussion: the new Real Housewives of Orange County trailer, Southern Charm, and Blood, Sweat, and Heels. Come listen! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Nothing runs with Bravo. If that's okay, we only care of Bravo. Nothing runs with Bravo.
If that's okay, we only care about Bravo.
Watch what crap is.
Watch what crap is.
Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is?
What happens?
What happens?
What happens?
What happens?
What happens? What happens? Watch what crap is. Watch what crap is. Watch What crappens god it's just a podcast ronnie carom oh hello i can barely speak through my puffy lids he's been
crying as you said just before the podcast started too many tears and pretzels but what caused what
who knows so uh ronnie can be found at actually i've learned that gluten causes depression so
probably the pretzels caused my tears i don't't know. I feel really happy whenever I have a bagel. So I don't know about that.
But Ronnie, it can be found at TrashTalkTV.com where he does all sorts of hilarious recaps and videos and cool stuff.
But he can also be found at Trash Talk TV on – I'm sorry, Trash Tweet TV on Twitter.
I'm at bsideblog.
And in case you're wondering what that strange female voice was in the background, that's our special guest of the day, the returning and wonderful Katie Cazorla.
Hi, Katie.
Woo!
Oh, my God, I love it.
Yeah, yay, Katie.
Yay, Katie.
Katie can be found online at The Painted Nail.
And she has this great TV show called The Nail Files, which is on TBGN.
And she's just an all-around great person, aren't't you Katie? You know what? I try my best. I really do. So now for those of you,
for those of you guys who have not heard Katie on this show before, um, she happens to have this
wonderful boyfriend who is like a massive producer, music producer, producer to the stars.
And every time we talk with Katie,
there's always something crazy going on. Like she says something like, Oh, this microphone was,
uh, just being used by Barbara Streisand last week, something like that. So this week we
currently are in the midst of, to me, a huge star and Katie, would you care to elaborate on who is
just nearby in your house? Well, you know, I was told to go get some headphones to do the podcast.
And I went to go get my normal headphones and I couldn't use them because
we have a fabulous celebrity working with Walter by the name of Richard
Mark.
That is using the headphones.
Hold on to the headphones. I you know what i i'm not gonna
lie he looks amazing he's in like the best shape i of like anyone and he makes me not want to eat
carbs listen if richard marks happens to walk by while we're doing this podcast
just give him like some sort of sign and tell him to just come,
just hop right on in.
Oh my God.
That would be amazing.
I mean,
you never know who shows up at this household.
Let me tell you that.
You know what?
If,
if we can say special guest Richard Marks on the watcher crappens podcast,
I think that we would have reached an apex for podcasting.
I mean,
I feel like you guys really should.
We should do like a pop-up podcast where we don't tell people.
And then we're like, hey, come in here and talk to us.
And they don't really know that they're on the podcast.
I actually did that once with my other podcast, Banter, when it was Banter with Ben and Lisa.
There was one time where I got invited to do a press junket with Michael Ely, like a phone press junket.
So I, um, I basically, uh, asked him some question over the phone and then splice it
into our podcast as if we were interviewing him right then and there.
So he was on our podcast and didn't realize it.
Oh my God.
So you tricked him.
Yeah, basically.
That's that's one time chills.
Aaron came onto our podcast and I secretly recorded stuff that secretly recorded stuff that she said was off the record.
Yeah.
But then Ronnie's computer was stolen, and now all that footage is gone.
You know what?
I wonder what it is.
Let me see.
Wait a second.
What do you mean?
Did we already discuss this in a podcast already?
No, not yet.
Okay, so his computer was stolen when?
Summer, right?
The summer. Ronnie left it in his car. Oh, idiot. Yeah. Okay, so his computer was stolen when? Summer, right?
The summer.
Ronnie left it in his car.
Oh, idiot.
Yeah, I know.
But it was under the seat.
And it was right in front of my house.
I think that somebody I gave a ride to that day stole it, but whatever.
Wait a second.
What kind of car do you drive?
A Fiat.
Oh, my God, you do?
Those cars are so cute.
I know. Big man, tiny car.
Okay, let's talk about Bravo. Yeah, let's get to Bravo.
This is ridiculous.
Okay, so we actually have a huge amount to discuss.
I know. We're sitting here talking about my stupid car.
I know.
Oh, it's cute.
It's my fault. I got us on the Richard Marks tangent.
Thanks a lot.
I know. I should have known better.
These are just the hazards of podcasting with me.
Listen, hold on to the memories of shorter podcasts.
Hold on to the night.
Okay, I know that the audience is right here waiting for us to get to Braavos.
Let's do this.
Oh, God.
Okay, well, it was just a clusterfark of a week, basically.
We started with The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills,
the big takedown of Lisa,
which was impossible because all Lisa would do
was be like, oh, she, ugh,
until I keep trying to walk away from it
and would not get into any of it.
Darling, darling, we've talked about this so many times.
Darling, oh, this again, darling.
Darling, darling.
This is exhausting.
Wait a second, are you guys not team Lisa?
Yeah, totally.
That was us saying that we're team Lisa, yes.
Yeah, because Lisa
is so fucking above it all
that she didn't even bother to iron her wig.
Did you notice that she had her hair
put up behind her wig, and it
made her hair look like a rectangle?
She had a rectangle head. She did not
even bring herself to get that shit patted down.
I did not notice that.
I did not.
I love Ken and Lisa.
I really think that everyone is jealous of them.
Yes.
And that's why they act the way they do.
Oh, my God.
P.S.
I saw Joyce at Ralph's in Studio City.
Oh, really?
Yes.
And she's skinnier in person, whether you can believe that or not.
Wow. Yes, she's skinnier
in person, and
she had an assistant
with her. She was full hair and makeup
at Ralph's grocery shopping with an
assistant to get stuff and put it in
her cart.
I'm not kidding.
Was that like the queen of the universe who was
doing this? Throwing the hot pockets in the cart
You know in all fairness
I'm the queen of nails
So it was two queens
Up in Ralphs and I'm not talking about
West Hollywood
This is just
I couldn't believe it Walter saw her and pointed it out
He was like oh my god that's Joyce from Real Housewives
The Housewives they're just like us her and pointed it out he was like oh my god that's joyce from real housewives the housewives
they're just like us and she had like all that shit in her car too like lifestyle us weekly
it was oh my god don't don't god don't tell kyle don't tell kyle that she had tabloids
i was like i heard you read something you're out i heard you had tabloids in your car
yeah what is what is that about and by the way You're out. I heard you had tabloids in your car.
Yeah, what is that about?
And by the way, can we discuss that, the thing about the tabloids?
Yeah, actually, so I would like to hear it because, you know,
Ronnie and I have now been talking about this tabloid situation for about two weeks now.
We are firmly Team Lisa. We think that the tabloid situation is crazy.
We think that even if Lisa had encouraged putting tabloids in the bag,
it's not that big of a deal because maybe
she wanted to read the tabloids and maybe she
was concerned that her name came up
in it or maybe she wanted to have fun with it.
But we don't believe that even happened. But where do you stand on it,
Katie? Well, I'm going to
just put it out there. I don't think Lisa
had time to go through
all of those tabloids
and know which ones
had the stuff about Mauricio
and Kyle Richards in it.
I think this had them on the cover.
Oh, it was on the cover?
I think so. Okay, here's the thing.
Well, it was at Brandy's house.
So Brandy showed her the magazine.
Exactly.
So Brandy's the instigator of this,
yet she's turning it against Lisa.
Lisa didn't bring the tabloids over and go,
oh my God, look at this.
We should bring this to Palm Springs.
Brandy, fat mouth, gross Brandy,
is the one that said it to Lisa
and now is throwing Lisa under the bus.
It's disgusting.
Meanwhile, I'd also like to point out that
I believe it was at, was it at this lunch
or was it at, I think it was at Palm Springs, right?
Wasn't it Yolanda who brought up,
who confronted Kyle about this stuff,
or was it at Carlton's house?
No, it was Brandy.
It was at Carlton's house,
and Brandy didn't say it exactly.
She just hinted at it,
like all this stuff that's in the tabloids.
And then Kyle almost started crying.
And then Lisa was like,
oh, darling, it's a bunch of crap. They were just, they're all fullyle almost started crying and then lisa was like oh darling
it's you know it's a bunch of crap they were just they're all full of crap and then yolanda was like
yeah but you know what they say sometimes when things are smoky you know there's things that's
smoking and lisa's like no darling it's like when there's smoke there's fire and she's like yeah
and now they're trying to make it sound like lisa was saying there's no smoke without fire which
well but but but wasn't but didn't this whole issue didn't it come up also in palm springs
didn't the the tablets come up with palm springs too wasn't kyle confronted i don't i don't think
i can't keep it straight no i don't think anything about the tablets came up at palm springs palm
springs was simply the yoice jacklin argument and then also Kim, too, right? Well, it's confusing because they've, Bravo
first, okay, there's, like, conspiracy
theories online, which, to me, is hilarious.
Wait, what do you mean?
There's all these, I mean, I love a good
conspiracy theory, like,
I'll go on Alex Jones just to read
like, 9-11 stuff, or like,
if everyone's electricity bill goes up,
you know, like, how Obama's, like, secretly doing
it because he's, you know, he's really Iraqi or whatever.
So I love me a good Alex Jones conspiracy theory.
And I cannot wait till Alex Jones hears about the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills because people are going apeshit.
And basically they're saying that they were not expecting all this backlash on Brandi and they're trying to make her look good.
And they stopped all the commenting this week because the comments have gotten so bad
against Yolanda and
Brandy and Kim. I mean, they really
are mean.
What do you mean?
The comments on the Bravo TV blogs
because every bitch is make
a blog and then people come on and
write comments to them. And
Lisa has like 500 that are like, you're the
queen. And then everyone else
is like you're a bitch you know they hate everybody else because they're starting all
this shit with lisa and this week they just turned off the commenting so it stopped like
after a day because they were just so against everybody and then bravo had brandy on watch
what happens which i'll talk about in a little while i devoted i devoted to try and make her
look good and she just looked even worse than ever.
Did she have spin-offs coming out or
something? Is that why they're, like, so pro-Brandi?
No, but they also cut
a lot of scenes out that we were supposed
to see. It's like they did a Russell edit
for the season, which was really weird because
they cut the scene with Brandi
that they've showed a million times with Brandi
saying, you're the greatest Czech player of all
time. Well, I just Czech-mated you, bitch.
Yeah.
What happened to that?
And they cut out a part that was in Palm Springs, which is why I'm rambling on about this, where it was sitting with Yolanda on the couch saying, oh, you really think that she's blackmailing?
You really think she's blackmailing Kyle and Maurizio?
Like, of course, referring to Lisa,
accusing her of blackmail and all this shit.
So whatever really went on on that show
was way worse coming from Brandy,
and they edited it out to make her look better,
which I don't know.
So you think that the accusation
is more than just the tabloids?
Yes, I think that she was saying that lisa was
somehow blackmailing kyle and blah blah blah and then that fight at the uh that fight that we saw
in the season finale with brandy drunkenly and embarrassingly telling off lisa for no reason
um that was got so bad that brandy was screaming at her and saying, I just checkmated you, bitch! Oh my god.
Put it out to make Brandy look less fucking
pathetic. Oh my god.
I think it's actually hilarious
that
Lisa still, like, it seems like
everyone that I've spoken to is
totally on Lisa's side. Lisa has definitely
made mistakes, and
I think that, like,
you know, it is a little fucked up how
um she has kind of forced brandy and sheena to have to come face to face more often than once
which is it's a little shady to do to a friend here's the thing she didn't work there before
she knew about that shit no i know i know i no i agree listen i think that i think that brandy's
accusations are a little over the top.
Because I think that who cares if Sheena works for Lisa?
And who cares if Lisa knew about it or not? I think, though, having to have the sit-down conversations are a little annoying for someone who probably had to go through that.
But that's not the worst thing in the world.
Here's where I...
Can you hear me?
Yeah.
Okay, here's where I stand on this whole Sheena thing.
This is all bullshit because this is how Brandy got on the show in the
first place.
Okay.
Here's what happened when sir opened,
it had already been open,
but whatever,
when it opened on the show,
when they had the opening party was in season two at the very,
yeah.
So first time we ever saw Brandy,
she showed up with Cedric,
the leech.
Okay.
Yeah.
Oh my God. I loved him.
The producers were trying to get Brandy on the show as a villain to go against Lisa as a friend of Cedric's.
Right?
Yeah.
So they're part of this finale party because they know that Sheena works there.
Brandy knows that Sheena works there because, of course, she knows where this slut's going to be.
You're going to look at this bitch's Facebook page.
That's true.
That's very true.
We know she hired Sheena. She already knows that sheena's a part of sir she already knows all of this going
in when the producers are trying to bring her in which means she was brought in to be a villain
against lisa in the first place she was exactly bottom with cedric but lisa would not have any
of that foolishness and immediately kick cedric out which killed her storyline so the next season they bring her her in and say she's a friend of Adrian Malouf and try and pretend that she was never on the show before.
So then, watch Adrian Malouf, and someone tells Lisa about her being friends with Cedric, so Lisa doesn't trust her.
But then everybody is so mean to poor Brandy that Lisa feels bad for her and befriends her.
So Brandy can't go against her because Lisa's the only person keeping her on the show at this point.
So finally, Brandy gets some popularity
due to Lisa keeping her on the show.
This bitch would not even have a job or a life without Lisa.
And then the original plan of being Lisa's enemy,
and she still has nothing on the bitch.
So I think if anybody's manipulative, it's Brandy,
and that shit is way sicker than anything she's accused Lisa of
because this was some poor bitch sitting at home shopping at walmart and costco not able to feed
plotting a way to take down the lady i mean that's that's like a sydney shell that's a sydney shell
novel ronnie i could not have said that any better that was so well articulated i hope that lisa
vanderpump hears this and disseminates it widely throughout the internet because that is the best defense of Lisa I've heard so far.
You are listening to this.
I'm sorry.
I'll do an old lady, but you know what I mean.
I don't think she's an old lady.
I think she looks good.
I'm saying compared to Brandy.
You know what I mean?
Well, Brandy ain't no spring chicken either.
So, you know, I mean, she's what, 40?
41, I think.
Oh, okay. Big fucking deal. And Lisa's what 40 41 i think like oh okay big fucking deal and lisa's
what like 53 okay oh my god they're not even they're like 10 years apart big deal well i'm
pushing 40 and lisa's older than me and i would respect that i wouldn't go fight with lisa this
would fight with ben you know what i mean like I would feel much freer to say shit.
I wouldn't be fighting
with an old man.
Like, Yolanda's starting shit
with Ken and Trey.
Like, you're really trying
to start a fight
with an old man, you know?
Isn't there, like, a hospice
that you can go use
as a batting cage?
Like, are you...
Come on.
I just think of the whole thing
that Brandy is now...
I think there's so many holes in this story and this storyline.
And Lisa's not having it because she has legit businesses and a real life.
She's not looking to sell another ridiculous book written by a ghostwriter.
She is really an established woman with established businesses and a following and staff and a lot of money invested in things
so she can't she can't look bad i don't think she really did anything wrong i think it's all
brandy was was really really really pressed to do a lot of things and now it's all blowing up in
brandy's face but bravo doesn't want that to be known so that's why they really changed a lot of
shit around didn't even have
a reason i mean this was what was so funny for the whole season we didn't know why brandy was mad
because she didn't come up with a reason she was just mad like first lisa mothering me
lisa was mothering her then so was ignoring her and then lisa i mean what was the other thing
that she i mean it was just bullshit and she didn't even come up with this Sheena thing until three weeks ago.
And that's probably when the season started airing.
And she replies how stupid she looks because everybody started attacking her on Twitter.
You try to come up with something.
I mean, that woman's just sad.
She's sad.
Yeah, I think Lisa is clearly the winner here.
And it really bothers me how all the women, Katie, you touched on it before.
I think there is some serious jealousy and some resentment
by the fact that
the audience loves Lisa.
People are always saying, no matter what she
does, she always
has her way. And we said this,
I think, last week. She gets her way
not because she is some evil
mastermind who
has some strange blackmail evidence on Andy Cohen and Bravo.
She gets her way because the audience likes her.
The audience likes the way that she handles herself.
They like her jokes.
They like the way she defends herself.
They just like everything about her.
And so when you try to take down someone that the audience doesn't like, the audience is going to jump to her defense.
Yeah, they're going to retaliate.
There's no magic behind it.
There's no crazy scheme that Lisa behind it there's no like there's no crazy scheme
that lisa is doing to make us like her she's just a person that's likable to an audience and she's
hilarious like oh my god there's a reason we haven't been sued for slander yet because we
make jokes out of it you know lisa can say whatever the hell she wants because it's really funny
you know the other ladies just aren't fun i mean, Kyle is dumb as a box of chocolate.
I mean, seriously.
Don't insult the box of chocolate.
I mean, she really is.
My thing with Kyle is, is that Kyle didn't do anything.
Yolanda didn't do anything.
Brandy certainly didn't do anything.
All of these women had nothing going on.
Adrian Maloof had something going on at least
where she i know you guys are not for adrian maloof but at least she had her her hand and a
lot of different things yes i'm so jealous that these other like people like lisa are actually
working and have a life and have established to establish themselves, whether it was from money or not,
it doesn't matter.
They're doing shit.
Here's the thing.
Also,
you know,
Lisa,
she's not like some angel,
you know,
she does like to needle them a little bit.
Like she likes to,
she,
I think she does find entertainment out of watching them squirm.
And she does say things that cross the line here and there.
And I think that probably one thing that pisses off these women is that they couldn't figure it out well that lisa
is so popular and yet what they see of lisa is this woman who sort of is always giving them these
little slights and that probably really and fresh it really frustrates them and infuriates them
to have america saying how much they love lisa to have what what a magazine or what website just
yesterday i think it it was some website
yesterday, came out a list of every single Real House I've ranked them, and Lisa was
number one.
And she's always at the top of every ranking.
The fact that she is universally loved, she gets a spinoff, and yet these women are like,
how can they like her so much?
She always makes these little digs.
So now they've had to concoct a whole big story about why she's awful, and she's a puppeteer,
and she's making everyone do her dirty work.
But I'm like, what is the dirty work?
What is the end game here?
What is Lisa trying to do if this is all true?
Lisa's just a smart player.
And she does do, I mean, I think you're right that she's done a lot of what she's being accused of.
I just don't think it's evil.
Like, for example, I think that on the season she had heard kyle talking a
lot of shit about her right after she had been standing up for kyle even against brandy and
being mean to brandy at least it was kind of rude to brandy at first because kyle told her to be
then she finds out that kyle's saying all this mean stuff after she's been a good friend
so what's kyle what is she gonna do she's gonna befriend the girl that's you know she's gonna
befriend the girl because she knows she'll kick k's ass, which, I mean, that's just smart playing. I don't
see anything wrong with that. Well, but also these women do ascribe certain behavior,
they basically say that Lisa's being crazy manipulative and sneaky and a chess player
over what I think is actually fairly logical and benign behavior. So for instance, after this whole Puerto Rico fiasco, so Lisa goes home and
she talks, she tells Carlton about it. And so now they're like, oh, that's what she's gathering
people. She's gathering people for her army because we've turned against her. So now she's
going to gather them. Well, you know, no shit, Sherlock. It's not as like, as I don't think it's
as crazy as building an army it's that you
guys all attacked her so she's gonna go to the one person who didn't attack her and be like
guess what happened they all attacked me that's a normal thing to do well it's not it's not only
the only person that didn't attack her it's the only person that wasn't in the other scenes like
she had to talk to the only other cast member that was left like yeah who the hell is she
gonna talk to bro i was not gonna let her call dion warwick to bitch about it yeah she was she was i wish she had but
she said that on the apprentice but um she did but it's like but but you know what i'm saying
it's like they are they're ascribed they're adding all these qualities to lisa that they're they're
reading into things so much because they want there to be some drama they want this this idea
of lisa being the master manipulator to be true but in fact lisa was just doing what i think anyone
would would have done that situation which was you know what i was ganged up upon so i left and
then i went you know to and i told carlton about it because i had to vent you know and and i want
someone on my side i think it's okay i mean what did Brandy do when she started to feel isolated by Lisa?
She went to Kyle, okay?
What did everyone?
Everyone switches sides all the time.
It's called real life, and that's what people do.
They go to who's on their side, who's helping them out, blah, blah, blah.
And they vent.
They talk about their problems.
They do.
That's real life and the
funny thing is is that every single one of those women has done that and i love how it's like oh
well ken says they're all ganging up on her and it was a stat it was meant to happen like that
he's right that's what those women do they find the weakest one at the time and they all get
together and they go you did this and you did that. They did it to Brandy
at Kyle's house.
Do you remember that? Oh, of course.
Kyle and Kim are the worst
human beings ever.
They're so fucking disgusting.
They're right up with Brandy right now
after being so
mean to Brandy. I mean, they were really mean
to Brandy. They called her
a slut and a whore and all these awful things.
And it's like, are you kidding me right now?
And now it's with her besties.
And that's also sort of shitty of Brandy.
Have some self-respect.
Don't hang with these people that called you all those nasty things.
And on top of that, remember the very first episode?
A slut pig.
A slut pig.
She goes, you're a slut pig.
Yeah.
But remember also the first episode of the season,
there was all this talk that Kyle was on the outs
because she pissed off Yolanda,
she pissed off Lisa, et cetera, et cetera.
So Kyle was kissing up to Joyce and to Carlton
at the party at her house.
And everyone was like, oh,
Kyle's just collecting people for her side.
So it's like, you people, like, just,
like, why is it okay for
like i don't know it's not just the point is that they're so hypocritical on the way they
launch their attacks they are and kyle actually like if you really didn't look into it too deeply
kyle sounds kind of believable and she seems i mean she's a much better actress in reality shows
than she is on tv i'll give her her that. So is her crazy sister.
You really have to think about the
facts to realize what Kyle is talking about.
Did anybody
think that
Kim's ex-husband
was really good looking?
It is crazy.
I think that Beverly Hills actually forced them to
get divorced because he was so out of
her league. I think actually Beverly Hills actually forced them to get divorced because he was so out of her league.
Yeah.
I think they were like,
I think actually Mauricio,
good looking Mauricio probably was like,
Oh no,
you can't be on the show because I have to be the hottest husband.
Like you have to be off.
Yeah.
I mean,
he is like,
I'm sorry.
So I need you to shut up.
We were all like,
Oh my God,
is that her ex husband?
Yeah.
Is he remarried?
Do we know?
Does anyone know?
I think he's remarried
i think they showed his wife at the some graduation party or something yeah i think so so let us turn
to yolanda pasta here's one of my favorite things to come out of this in the bravo blogs which i
don't know why i have not been reading these since the beginning of time because they're
fucking hilarious and actually at the beginning of the time i wish they had the bravo blogs but um joyce joyce sorry go on like i want
to hear eve's take on shit she's like can you believe that shit god pulled on me i mean it
wasn't my fault that snake offered me an apple but first of all i want to thank my supporters
i too love apples and i think that we all should be entitled to eat apples whenever we want.
Here we go with God accusing me of things again.
It's always the woman's fault.
So Joyce was saying in her Bravo blog that after that, well, first of all, Ken never even touched Yolanda.
He was like turning to point at her because he was getting mad at her.
And she slapped his hand and acted like he punched her in the face.
to point at her because he was getting mad at her and she slapped his hand and acted like he punched her in the face yeah and then after he left um which had the best line of the evening
she's like he's like you're stupid yeah i'm not stupid ken i'm an intelligent woman he's like
you're not that intelligent which is oh god londa walks around the party telling everybody
that ken basically beat her she can't believe that a man would put his hands on a woman in public.
Oh, it's like that remote singer from last season when she was like,
he abused me at a fundraiser for abused...
At least that guy, at least George actually put his hand on her arm
and pulled it in one direction.
At least there was that.
I can't believe you touched me,
I can't believe you're doing this.
This is for abusive women.
You have to go.
This is ridiculous.
Hands off.
You were like completely out of your mind.
Completely out of your mind.
Oh,
she's coming up next.
Yes.
Oh my God.
I cannot,
I do the,
I feel like i do a pretty
stellar ramona singer so i'm excited about this okay so done with beverly hills what else no no
well we have to talk about what's coming up i can't will not believe that i now hate kim i'm
not can kim kim you know fuck off kim the amazing amount of goodwill that that woman has had to just piss it off all
away just to be a bitch for no reason like i don't understand what she's doing and then her
argument to kyle when kyle's like well i can't believe lisa is not mean to me and kim's like
listen here's all that lisa has so all lisa has is a husband who loves her, a business, and great kids who loves her.
And that's it.
That sounds awful.
Shame on her for only caring about, for putting her husband, her daughter, and her business before all her fake friends.
Before all your fucking gross, disgusting drama.
Shame on her.
She's a wretched woman.
I can't believe she's not a drunk i mean get right
no but can i just tell you something when i every single time and it proof is remember when lisa was
waiting with ken to go to um some event they were showing up oh carlton's thing or whatever
and kim comes strolling in late yeah and. And she was like, Oh my God,
you guys.
You guys.
Wisconsin.
Yeah.
I thought you're white.
What is she even?
She doesn't even have a drunken bobble,
bobbling legs to stand on for a comment like that.
It honestly was disgusting.
Me.
Yeah.
It really was.
And she just kept it going.
She's like, I don't mind you going to their party.
And not only that, she had just missed one of their parties.
Hadn't she?
Or was that after?
No.
What was that party that they had that she didn't show up?
Marisa's birthday party, maybe?
Was she at that?
I don't remember.
Some party that Kim had just. No, she came.
She came. Oh, yeah, you're right. There but some party that Kim had just... No, she came. She came.
Oh yeah, you're right. There was some party that
she missed. It doesn't matter. She did not
go to Pandora's wedding, and meanwhile
they had already told her that they weren't going to go to the
graduation party, and they sent a gift. So Kim
has to shut her mouth. Like, it's ridiculous.
He said, Ken said,
we RSVP'd and told you we weren't going to be able
to make it. She's like, well, you guys
flew back that night.
It's like, it doesn't matter after traveling all day.
They can do whatever they want.
Why do they have to answer to stupid fucking Kim Richards?
They sent a beautiful gift.
They did exactly what they said they were going to do.
And how can they compare some dumb little high school graduation party to a wedding that they were invited to.
You're not allowed to say that.
Because Kim was drinking.
I was sick.
It's like, Kim, alcoholism is not cancer.
People do not send you fucking flowers
for having it.
Besides, any good alcoholic knows to go to a wedding
because it's open bar.
Yeah, open bar, motherfuckers.
I would go to a wedding of a guy
that i loved my whole life he just dumped me and then decided to invite me to his wedding of a new
fiance a week later i'd be like open bar yeah because you know you know that like bravo had
arranged a car for her to go and everything like like i'm sorry the saying that you were you were
drunk at that time is
actually the worst excuse if you're drunk you're like hell yeah wedding more drunkenness and
hors d'oeuvres yeah she compared um her the missing of those guys to her daughter's high
school graduation party to her missing uh well that that's why I didn't come. No, it's not.
You were an alcoholic drug addict,
scarfing down pills for lunch,
and you're going to compare that to Lisa,
who was traveling for work, who came back... For charity.
Actually...
Kids with cancer or something.
You know what?
I think I've just realized there's a massive hole
in Kim's logic here.
Shockingly.
Shockingly.
You just realized that?
No, no, no.
Listen to this.
No, listen. I just realized
because when
Ken made the remark
in Lisa's backyard to Kim about
well, you've missed a lot of events.
That was a reference to the wedding, I'm sure.
And Kim took offense to that because she's like
that was a dig at the fact that I was drunk
and because I was drunk, I missed a lot of events.
However, later on, when
Ken asked Kim why she didn't come to the wedding, she well i was moving so if she was moved if she were moving
then she's not allowed to get offended at the original remark saying that was about getting
drunk because she was technically wasn't drunk when she was if they were well but that's what
she's moving the point she has two different excuses so she never said i don't think she
ever actually said that it's because she had a problem her thing is her has always been because i was moving but that means because i was drunk you
know what i mean so i wish i could use that excuse everybody knew that at the time so she's never
said i was drunk and that's why i didn't go and how dare you make fun of me when i had a problem
she was all her excuse has always been i was moving but that's because that was code for kim being drunk so she's saying oh when he's saying oh you were moving when he's doing that
which he was he was moving into rehab is that what she meant no she missed it because she was too
drunk and she told everybody it was the weekend she was moving so that was her code that season
for not showing up because she hadn't admitted that she was an alcoholic yet. So she had an excuse for everything.
And that was her excuse that week.
So when she said,
I was moving Ken and he's like,
Oh,
you were moving.
You were moving.
He was saying,
Oh really?
Well,
she shouldn't be using that excuse anymore though,
because now she's sober and she's supposed to be like out with like
excuses.
When you go through that program.
Okay.
Living in LA.
We know a lot of people that have gone through that program.
Yeah, we'll probably all go through it sooner or later.
Okay, that's the thing.
When you are going through that program, the first step is to apologize.
Exactly.
Because, you know what I'm saying?
Like, she shouldn't be there going, how could you, Ken?
It's like, how could you?
How could you, you crazy fucking alcoholic?
That's the whole point.
Yes.
You don't, you're not recognizing what you did then.
People are always going to blame you because you were at fault.
That's the first step.
Exactly.
We actually, that's something we've mentioned many times, Katie, on the show, which is that
Kim's being a terrible, like recovering alcoholic and that she is not taking any responsibility.
She's not accepting the fact that people may be mad at her for her, the decisions that she made when she was a drunk that's why i don't believe that she's
recovered at all because she still has i don't think so either you guys i really don't every
alcoholic that you'll meet will and i know plenty of them in my own um a victim about it and if you
they will be so mean and do such horrible things but when you call them
a drunk they start sobbing it's like when you when you punch a bully how they start crying
like yes because they were abused or something that's how fucking alcoholics are when they're
still drinking because that's and brandy did it too when someone called her a drunk
remember taylor used to do that too when when kim wanted to talk to her about being an alcoholic
she got
like super defensive then start crying then was like you know what I've been going through x y
and z and you would do the same and but and it all turned into this like horrible downward spiral and
it's like you've got to take uh responsibility for what you did whether it's drugs or drinking
whatever you don't know how you hurt people when you were moving. So you just accept it, apologize, and move on and stop making people feel guilty.
Yeah, own it.
It's not everyone else's fault that you're an alcoholic.
I mean, look, and no one, and I know that I sound like I'm always being terrible to
alcoholics, but my thing is, it's not that big of a deal.
I mean, everybody's an alcoholic.
You know what?
Actually, this isn't the thing.
So many people.
I can declassify as an alcoholic because sometimes I work hard all day long.
I'm so exhausted.
All I can think about is coming home, getting on the couch, watching DVR reality TV with a nice big glass of Merlot.
So for me, does that make me an alcoholic?
I'm relying on something to alter my mood to make me feel better.
Technically, yes, I am.
But I feel like, am I out of control?
Do I wake up in the morning and drink mouthwash?
I mean, no, I don't.
I mean, that's how I feel about when I do heroin.
So I'm totally with you on that.
But even if you did, even if you did, even if you got way out of control and you did
become an alcoholic and you did go get help and all of that i feel like you'd be like yeah i was an alcoholic and i got help and you know
you wouldn't be a big fucking victim about it you would just own it and be and make probably
make jokes about it when you play the victim actually it means you're not you're you're not
in recovery yeah absolutely now speaking of alcoholics i want to talk about something that
brandy was doing on this season finale, which really annoyed me.
It was a small thing, but what really pissed me off is that she would launch these, you know, she's been launching these hate campaigns against Lisa.
But then she kept on wrapping them up in this bow of faux sincerity where she would say something like, you know, it's just, I mean, I love her so much.
I love Ken so much.
I love Lisa so much.
But I think that's why I'm so upset because there's so much love here and she keeps saying over and over again how much she
loves them but the truth is i don't think she loves them at all and i really really don't you
hate that when someone does that when they yes when they go to assassinate your character but
they but it's it's under the guise of caring about them so much and also what what the problem is
with me of that is that you know that that was recorded
after the season because you can always tell they always go do uh they always go do another one at
the end when they start seeing the episodes and she knows everybody's turning against her and so
now that's what she's doing to try and save herself and it's like bitch they can edit out
whatever scenes that they want to but we've already seen them on the internet, and everything you've done that has
been shown is so gross
that there's no saving you.
There is no saving you. Just stop.
Commit to it. Just be a bitch.
Oh, what are you, a black person?
Okay, you can't take that back.
Well, I have black friends. It doesn't matter.
It's insulting. And notice that she showed up
at the finale with a black guy, just to shut
everybody up, because the episodes have already started airing it's like you're so transparent lady
she really is and can i just tell you something about what you guys were just saying when you say
um when someone goes oh my god you know what i love you so much i'm only doing this because
i don't understand i love you and i care about you and then they throw you under the bus right so i'm
going through that situation now we had really really amazing good friends um gave them access
to our lives help them with everything whatever and now all of a sudden out of the blue it's like
the person wants to attack your character use things against you that you confided in them
um just try to tear your life apart it's like katie this is not nice of you to bring up to me
okay i i just i love you so much that's where it's all coming from ben and barbara streisand
did not mean to hurt your feelings they were just coming from the place of love she gave me that
chocolate bar because she actually you guys know you saw it here's the thing no it really is
happening i mean this was someone who we we try to help and, like, really make their lives better,
help their daughter break into, you know, the music industry,
have him do my website and help me with certain things.
And then all of a sudden it turns into, well, now I own katiecazorla.com,
and now I own The Painted Nail, and I do.
And it's like, oh, my God.
Oh, Jesus.
It turns from I love you into complete psycho crazy and it's like
you have to realize in life people who are totally real like carlton and i honestly believe
she is really that way she says the f word she she is you know crazy as crazy does and there's
gonna be no surprises with her because she puts it all out there.
And on top of that, she's also able to,
she can anticipate things through her dreams.
She knows.
In fact, if you had talked to Carlton,
she would have been like,
Katie, I had a dream about your friend,
and they were talking shit about you.
Who does that?
I had a dream that these fairies came down and they said don't work with digital welders
and don't have them do your website
because they're going to terrorize you
a year and a half from now
I would have been like you're fucking crazy
but maybe I would have just listened
a little bit so what the hell
I just feel like people that
do that are so disgusting
because I've been in that situation
we all have where we trust someone.
They're our friend.
You confide in them.
And then you start doing better than them and they turn.
And now it's like, you're a bitch and you're this, but I love you.
No, you fucking don't.
You're a manipulative user.
Well, Kyle Richards should have really, before she let this whole tabloid situation get out of hand, she should have taken a moment to really think about the source.
She should have thought to herself, okay, Brandy is telling me this.
Brandy has a tendency to exaggerate.
Even if it did happen, there's a chance that Brandy misinterpreted something or exaggerated a motivation.
or exaggerated a motivation.
Like, let me think about this, because I've known Lisa a lot longer,
and I've had a better friendship with Lisa, and we're on the rise,
so maybe I can get to the bottom of this.
But instead, you know, Kyle and Kim and all of them,
they just were happy to let it explode in everyone's faces.
Because it's not on them anymore.
That's the thing. When someone's actually guilty of doing something,
they'll create a diversion.
So it's like, oh oh we'll see what she did
and see what she and they all gang up because they're guilty of doing a bunch of shit too
yeah yeah like they haven't been sitting there all season trying to plan against somebody and
take her down like how is that not talking behind somebody's back and also what you were saying
about somebody using stuff that you told them in private, I have no doubt that Lisa probably said,
oh, those magazines,
let's take them, darling.
That's totally Lisa to say that.
She would never mean it, and she would never
actually do it, because she's not a horrible person,
but when she thinks that you're one of her best friends,
it doesn't surprise me
off-camera that she would make a joke
that Brandy is now trying to use against her.
Well, listen, I don't even think there was,
I don't think it happened because as I said in a previous podcast,
if it really did happen,
the very first thing Lisa would have said was,
oh, darling, that was a joke.
Come on now.
She did.
She did.
She would have, she would have, yeah,
that would have been the first thing she would have said if it had happened.
And so, and like the fact that she didn't even say it was a joke,
she said, I didn't even see them until afterwards,
it makes me think that it never happened.
That's my logic on it.
And here's the thing.
Did we actually see that happen?
Was it on camera?
No.
But then I have a friend who has a theory that there were probably cameras there,
because cameras are always going to be filming the women before they leave.
And Lisa wouldn't have done something like that in front of the camera.
Yeah, Lisa's too smart.
Well, Ben posted an article from Yahoo about that, obviously.
On our Facebook page, facebook.com forward slash watch where crap ends.
You guys should all like it.
I love that you wrote a lot of info from a source, a.k.a. Kyle Richards.
Because it is so written by Kyle Richards.
The whole article is like. Just all call the tabloids and start complaining about each other to get ahead they all do it um
but this one is saying oh well the headline is lisa vanderpump scared of real housewives of
beverly hills reunion fallout how fans will react because apparently they get lisa to confess at
this reunion and she's afraid that everyone's going to turn against her.
Confess to what?
Even if she confessed to anything that you guys have accused her of,
it was nothing.
You bitches are grasping at straws because you have no lives to film.
Yeah.
Oh God.
You know what?
You're right.
And the thing is,
is they don't want to not be on the show because once they're gone,
that's it.
You're like your history.
No one cares about you.
No one can give a shit. What kind of crap makeup you're trying to sell or your new bag line or whatever it is.
No one cares.
So you have to stay relevant.
But how?
How can you stay relevant?
Well, here you go.
This is exactly what they're doing.
So I want to tell you guys about Watch What Happens Live.
Did you watch it?
I didn't.
Tell us.
No, tell us.
I just happened to record it on the old computer.
I didn't mean to.
It's like, hey, that show.
But they were in South by Southwest, which I think is hilarious because that's like a celebration of art.
Yeah, art and music.
Why are they there?
Yeah.
And then Andy Cohen's there.
By the way, I love that Andy Cohen is still so terrible at his job that he
can't even do the the on-air promo you know when he's like hey guys watch what happens it's coming
on in five minutes and brandy glenn and it cuts off because he still cannot do it he cannot it's
like this would not even make it on the next Food Network star. And that's a terrible show. But anyway, they had Brandy on.
And she was just in full-on C-word mode.
Because at this point, they're just trying to make us like Brandy again.
But, I mean, if you're going to do that, you need to sew her mouth shut.
So I'm going to read from an E! article who actually wrote it all down.
Okay.
But one of the questions was, hey, Brandy, people feel like Lisa fed you.
And then you turned on her.
And she went off and said she didn't do anything for me.
All she did was loan me a dress one time.
That's her big thing.
Oh, no.
Okay.
So that's where it starts.
And then she says, oh, I sat down with Sheena multiple times to promote her stupid show.
And if anything, I fed that bitch.
Really?
That is what the bitch said.
Yeah, by the way, people were not tuning in to watch Vanderpump Rules to be like, what's going to happen with the Sheena situation?
People tuned in because they like Lisa and Bravo kind of just like shoved it down their throats.
Like, OK, I guess I'll watch this.
And then it turns out that it was like the best like hate watching show of all time so of course
it had way better ratings than real housewives of beverly hills like the sheena brandy drama is
like the least interesting part about it and so for for brandy to think that she has somehow
caused the success is so narcissistic and ridiculous she should just go to shut up mountain
and put a flag at the top and kick
Jill Zarin off of it and say, this is my mountain now.
Honestly, you guys,
can you seriously believe
that she thinks she's somewhat responsible
for the success of Vanderpump
Rules? I don't know if she watched
it, but she was like a tiny
little blurb because it
was a rollover for their
crossover promotion of shows that had
nothing if brandy disappeared tomorrow it wouldn't make a difference on vanderpump rules it would
not in fact every time that there's some sort of sheena brandy moment on beverly hills i'm always
like let's move on i'm sick of this yeah i watched the show to see sheena either so to be fair
it's not recent i mean eddie supposedly they eddie
and sheena were together when she was 20 i mean she's almost 30 now so what was that 10 years ago
that you're that's why she was saying it's been over 10 years she needs to fucking get over it i
mean i mean listen again i will say i understand that it's it's got to be still uncomfortable if
like you are if you're brandy is still obviously torn up about this divorce I understand that it's, it's gotta be still uncomfortable. If like you are, if you're
Brandy is still obviously torn up about this divorce. I understand that. And it does suck.
If you have to deal with your ex's mistress, you know, that, that does suck. I'm sorry. It does
suck. But at the same time she does, I don't know. It's like, she's putting too much weight to it.
She's also, she's also allowing it to, to be a thing in her life way too much.
You know, she's like, ugh, stupid.
She used that situation to gain everything she has right now.
And she used that relationship with Sheena to get on the show in the first place.
And she used that relationship with Sheena to write two books now.
And she's used that situation for everything in her life.
So now to turn it and make it seem
like lisa's a villain for putting sheena in the situation bitch you put yourself in sheena's
trajectory she was already going to be on a bravo show you were the one who stepped in on her day
and are trying to take it over for yourself and now you're not on vanderpump rules and so you're
pissed off at lisa go fuck yourself lady get out of. Get out of here. Okay, so why don't we start moving on to another city?
Do we have any other final thoughts on Beverly Hills or these yo-yos?
No, I am done.
And we've got a month left of this bullshit.
We've got reunions, three reunions, and things we should have forgotten about.
Maybe that's where we'll find our scenes.
and things we should have forgotten about.
Yeah.
Maybe that's where we'll find our scenes.
Here's the thing.
I actually love the reunions because the women had time to let it marinate.
Yeah.
And then they really start firing into people
about how they feel, what's going on.
And at the end of the day, it's like, wow,
if you weren't disgusting enough
when that stuff happens,
I would like to predict right now
that Lisa is going to come off looking like a classy star.
Yes.
And Brandi's stupid mouth is going to get the best of her.
And she's going to start saying things she regrets no matter how Bravo tries to fight it.
Absolutely.
I worry because on the previews, it looks like Lisa has chosen to come out swinging.
Well, because she's
being attacked listen the reason she stayed above the fray so far is because she stayed above the
fray so far i want her to stay there listen she will even when she comes out swinging she will
i guarantee i mean look ken came out swinging in this past few episodes and we still like ken
oh my god he is the best i love that he is not going to take anybody's bullshit he's like we're
done done with you that's the thing i but i that's how you know if someone's guilty or not guilty
when they don't want to stay and fuel the fire brandy is the person that will sit there and go
whatever fuck you you're a bitch fuck you you know like just mouthy and white trash at its finest
yeah and so will the richard sisters they gang up they know that whole
tactic because it means more screen time they know it lisa and ken are like nope goodbye we're above
this that's exact and that's what adults do by the way like if you're if i think i mentioned this
last week if that were my parents if my parents were on vacation with other couples or something
like that and then they all ganged up on them. My parents would be like, you know what? We're leaving.
That's it. We're leaving. Why would we
stay for this? I'm not going to stay for this.
I'm paying to be here. You know what?
Goodbye. I wouldn't stick around
for that, would you? When you get
older, one thing, to some
of our younger listeners
who are like 20 or whatever,
when you get older,
it's true, when you get older,
you put up with less and less bullshit in your life.
And you just don't like to surround yourself
with people that cause drama.
When you're like 22 or 23,
you do surround yourself with it.
Because then what happens is
then you talk about it with all your friends
for hours and hours and hours.
And it's like super fun.
You're like, can you believe that so-and-so said this?
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And that's what Kyle and Kim do.
But they also have nothing else to talk about but when you get older like even as
even as when you get hit 30 you start to really cut people away and and surely by the time you
get to 50 you know it's sort of like what what kim said you generally i feel like most people who are
in their 50s who have like families their family is really all that they care about and they see
people and they have friends but if someone acts like an asshole yep they don't goodbye so long you guys
lisa has 65 million dollars do you think that she gives a rat i mean she's there to get even more
money by promoting her shows do you think how do talk about that. Here is the least pressing question
in all of American society right now.
How do you think this beef with Yolanda
is going to affect Lisa's relationship with Mohamed?
Oh, good.
Well, I can tell you how it's going to affect
her relationship with David Foster.
His ass will be running any day now
because he's probably mortified
at how stupid Yolanda looks in public right now.
He hasn't seen this side of Yolanda
because he has a prenup with that bitch.
So she's had to kiss his ass and make dinner and pretend that she's subservient and talk
about how a wife is supposed to be there for her man and do everything for her man because
that bitch is earning a paycheck week to week.
He hasn't seen this cunty side of her yet.
Oh, and by the way, just so you guys know, Yolanda came with a private plane.
She came into the relationship to a private plane.
So don't think David Foster is Mr. Innocent.
He was looking at all that stuff, too.
I think he's so chummy with Mohammed.
He gets to use that private plane whenever he wants because of that.
I have the plane if you have a mobile card.
See?
So, I mean, no one's really innocent here when push comes to shove.
Everybody wants something out of somebody.
It's disgusting.
It really is disgusting.
You were the first one who said about Yolanda.
Because remember, I've been a Yolanda fan all this time.
I was like, no, Kitty really hates Yolanda.
But I really like Yolanda.
But now I see.
I've hated Yolanda ever since she said,
a woman is supposed to take care of her man and cook for him
and make sure the house is clean.
It's like, shut up, bitch.
You do not do anything for that man.
You order slaves around to do it.
Yeah, they have housekeepers.
You have to learn English.
You have to learn English, yeah.
It's like you can't pick people up in front of the Home Depot
and then be mad at them for not knowing English.
Of course they don't know English.
That's why they're in front of the Home Depot.
Not in line
at the fucking... Jesus.
Get a job filling out an application.
If they knew English, they'd be on Craigslist like everybody
else, you a-hole.
See?
I would just get on LinkedIn.
Ronnie, you are on
fire today.
I'm furious. I'm furious.
I'm furious with this show, and I haven't eaten gluten for two days.
Okay, wait a second.
All right, let's move on to another show, because we're just going to keep on harping on the same things.
Before we get to New York, actually, real quickly, let's do a palate cleanser.
Did anyone watch the trailer or the previews for Orange County?
Oh, yes, I did.
And by the way, yuck to
the housewives.
Okay, well, here we're going to enter
trouble with these new housewives the same way
that we're entering it with Carlton and Joyce.
The same thing that got them in trouble this year.
They're coming on, determined
to start fights with people for no reason
to stay on the show, because everybody
knows that's how you do it now.
But that shit works in Orange County.
In Beverly Hills, it doesn't work.
But in Orange County, it's like trash capital of the world.
Like, of course.
What happened to Gretchen and Slade?
Oh, they just got the can, man.
Slade ruined her.
Slade ruined her.
I think Slade ruined her, too.
He ended up being such a promotional.
Like, turned her into a walking billboard that
Bravo was like, yeah, we're not having
this. I'm actually bummed that Lydia's gone.
I really liked Lydia, and
you know, in that list that I mentioned
before, if you go to our Facebook page,
facebook.com forward slash watch
what crappens, I believe someone actually
put a link to the list of, like, every single
housewife of all time ranking, and
Lydia's on there, and the description of her said that it was oddly satisfying watching her go
toe to toe with Slade Smiley about like,
about things that how she should eat a burger is actually an insult and not a
joke.
And I,
that's how I always felt about,
about her is that she,
she was oddly satisfying because she would really,
she was flighty and sweet,
but she would go to defend herself. And her mom was hilarious. Even if she put her feet because she would really, she was flighty and sweet, but she would go to defend herself.
And her mom was hilarious.
Even if she put her feet up on a couch.
Yeah.
Well,
you know,
the season's going to be good because Tamara has already been all over the
gossip rags lately complaining about the new person and how one of the new
girls is throwing her own family under the bus just to
get scenes and then i mean tamra is already on a tear about somebody and there hasn't she also is
going after heather by the way and the previews look like heather gets it from the women especially
tamra and another thing that that article said was they rang tamra pretty high and they said
that they are so impressed with her uncanny ability to always know which housewife to turn
against every single season and it's like it's And this, and this season, it looks like it might
be Heather that she goes against. I mean, she really is a genius. Well, that was just a matter
of time. She's a genius at being cunty. Yeah. She's the worst. I hate Tamara. Hey, you don't
like Tamara. No, see, I was pissed that Alexis is gone because as much as I couldn't stand her, she was my least favorite.
There was something that to me was oddly satisfying about watching her pretend she's so successful.
And so Christian.
Jesus.
And an actor.
Oh, my God.
And the news.
Remember when she did the fuck?
Yes.
No, I'm telling you.
Bravo.
Bravo missed the boat on this one.
They gave like all these women. They like, wedding spinoffs.
No, Alexis needed a spinoff where she either went into acting or into journalistic endeavors.
Because those were the funniest.
When she had to interview Dr. Booty on San Diego, Fox 5, whatever, that was some of the funniest shit in the history of the four housewives.
In the middle of the interview, oh, can we do that again?
And the woman goes, uh, this is
live television. Just to remind her
she was on live television.
I was cringing.
Or when she had to give the fake news report
about an imaginary family that
was, like, burning in a house, and then
they announced that the kids got out safely.
And she goes, oh, thank God.
Well, Alexis, you know, made the biggest mistake you can make as a housewife.
And she got mature and refused to engage in petty fights with people.
And she got fired.
Like, you cannot do that.
You have to.
If Tamara's after you, you have to just go for it.
That's why Tamara's a genius.
Tamara knows.
She switches it up every single season so that way it doesn't get stale with her.
It's not like, Oh, once again,
another season of her being mad.
It's like,
she goes after it,
a different person each season.
And then this past year,
she went back after Gretchen and she sort of rehashed all the stuff again,
but it felt fresh this time.
She had a break from it.
And she was on watch what happens when that show was ending.
And of course,
Andy is the worst.
He's,
he pretends he's so nice, but then he rips them all down and ruins their lives.
I know.
He just fucking kills me.
So she's on and he's like, so Bertha from Bethlehem wants to know why you're such a bitch.
Bertha wants to know if you're embarrassed that you're ruining your children's lives because they have to watch you on TV or whatever.
And she's like, well, listen, Bertha, I make a ton of money being this way.
And if you don't like it, maybe you should ask Bravo why I'm so embarrassed.
We have to have her on this podcast.
Like, that's like, I bet she would come on and she would be hilarious.
You know, she would go after everyone.
We would have her talking about all the other housewives, like other shows.
She won't give a shit.
Who else is off?
Who else is off?
With Leah, I can make fun of Leah
to her face and she'll laugh.
But I feel like with Tamara, I really think she's so gross
that if I just told her,
I think you're so gross, which I will.
I don't know how that's going to turn out.
The thing is this.
I wouldn't tell her that because
I'm weird and I don't like to tell people to their faces that
they're gross but i would i would be like diplomatic though i'd be like you know people
think you're really awful what do you think about that oh so you and andy cone it i would oh 100
like i can't do that i'm not a housewife i can't do the show so just gretchen and lydia no and alexis and alexis sorry so gretchen
gretchen heather and then new girls right yeah two new girls i think oh my god okay so that's
very strange that they got rid of three yeah but i think it's i think it's actually good
gretchen though but do we know why iretchen didn't have a storyline all year.
She didn't fight with anybody.
She had to do the fake thing with Slade, which they're not married.
And you know that they were probably a pain in the ass, the two of them.
Oh, my God.
You know that he was probably making demands and this and that.
That's why she got axed from Shop and VDC.
She got free bags during her assignment.
Yeah, you know, you can tell sometimes they, they probably get fired because they're
a handful.
I mean, that's probably why Jill Zarin and Kelly Ben Simone were fired off of New York
City because they were probably calling up Andy Cohen all the time, trying to get on
to watch what happens, et cetera, et cetera.
Or Kelly Ben Simone probably refused to go to do this or do that.
Like, you know, when you don't want to play ball with the producers, you can get fired.
Oh, bye-bye.
Yep.
I know. I mean, listen, I know exactly how that is. If you don't do what they say with the producers, you can get fired. Oh, bye-bye. Yep, I know. I mean, listen,
I know exactly how that is. If you don't do what they say, it's like, oh, well, guess what?
No one's going to know who you are.
I mean, I have so many friends that have done stuff
where it's like, yep, that's why I'm not
doing this, or that's why I'm not doing that, because they don't want
to do what they say.
And I understand that.
And that's why rumor has it that Luann
is just a recurring character on New York City this season
because she um she delayed on doing the she wanted a better contract and she held out and then they're
like okay fine you're no longer a regular cast member yeah you do not hold out on the cheapest
network in the world they wanted to shoot us for nine to ten hours a week for a thousand dollars to split between three people for three
weeks that is 27 hours to 30 hours what does that come out for like it's like ten dollars an hour
before taxes i mean that they are fucking ridiculous over there oh that's another thing
i wanted to talk about i watched for the first time um People's Couch last night.
And I thought it was totally cute.
I really liked it.
It's like a fine show.
It's fine.
I mean, I was sitting there doing Tinder the whole time.
But I thought it was really funny.
And I like the gay guys on it.
I think they're super cute.
Yeah, I think it's like a cute show. I like the gay guys.
Those are so cute.
And the two black girls.
Yeah.
And also, oh, my God.
And the lesbians even.
That lesbian is hilarious. Yeah, And also, oh my God. And the lesbians even are, that lesbian is hilarious.
Yeah.
I actually think it's good.
Yeah. I think it's a cute show.
It's cute.
Yeah.
I appreciate that.
Do they have people every year?
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dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where
power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or
wherever you get your podcasts.
You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus.
From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey.
And I'm Conscious Lee.
What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History?
Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month.
Exactly, exactly.
There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February.
And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less
In August 1492,
Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
And a little bit more.
She is a heroine to some. As a
fighter for black rights, she is a
villain to others. Follow Black History
for Real on the Wondery app or wherever
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Black is beautiful.
What?
Is it new people every year? Were they from last year?
Well, I know the gay guys were from last year, but I
didn't watch it.
I didn't watch the original six episodes
because I was, I don't know, I didn't want to be
mean about it and seem like I had sour grapes, but it's actually super cute. I'll probably watch the original six episodes because I was, I don't know, I didn't want to be mean about it and seem like I had sour grapes.
But it's actually super cute.
I'll probably watch it again.
So let's go to New York.
Oh, New York.
No, not Atlanta.
New York.
New York.
New York.
New York is back.
And I don't know how you guys feel about it, but I love the Real Housewives of New York.
And having them back on the screen made me so happy.
I just love this show.
Well, generally, the East Coast ones, New York and New Jersey,
both of them stress me out, and they're the meanest, most vicious ones.
They are vicious.
Who's your favorite, Ronnie?
Of New York?
Yeah.
Well, it's grown to be Ramona just because she is so funny.
Ramona's like a force onto
herself. At a certain point, you transcend
being a bitch and you just become
like... It's like Tamara almost
becoming for me.
It's like someone like Ramona
will say the most awful things
and be crazy and be a lunatic,
but you, at a certain point,
just surrender to them and appreciate how much value they add to the show.
I mean, how can you not love somebody
who starts a season
with somebody apologizing to them,
going, I don't want to hug you, to be honest.
I mean, I don't know what you're doing.
I don't know why you're trying to be nice to me,
but I don't want to be friends with you.
I don't want to have lunch with you.
No. Gross. No.
But that being said,
Ramona also had one of my favorite lines of the night,
which is that she's like, well, honestly, I think that you're very vicious and I think you're evil.
And then Aviva says, well, why don't we just celebrate our differences?
And Ramona's like, are you kidding me?
I just told you you're vicious and evil and you want to celebrate our differences?
I was like, exactly.
You know what?
I absolutely think Ramona is the most i think she's something's
wrong with her yes i mean she has crazy eyes she has those frost completely crazy eyes no but i
think she's a bit of a sociopath because she really doesn't take ownership for anything that
she does yeah she's guilt she's the guilty one always yeah But I don't understand how she doesn't feel that way.
Well, sometimes she cries, and as we see in the preview, it's good to cry.
Oh, gosh.
She's going to be crying a lot this year.
I hope they weren't filmed.
I mean, do I hope they were, or do I hope they weren't?
No, no, no.
They were not filmed.
So, also, if you go to our Facebook page, you can read an interview she did with Bethany,
where she said that basically
when all this shit hit the fan with Mario,
the season was already wrapped up, so it's not really
going to come into play.
Oh, really?
Who's your favorite of the New York ladies?
Mine's Carolyn.
Carol.
Oh, Carol.
I love Carol.
Yeah, Carol Radswell.
Heather has really grown on me.
In the beginning of last season, she was so Carol yeah Carol Radswell and you know what Heather Heather has really grown on me in the
beginning of last season oh she annoyed the shit she was like so fake and I was like you're being
so fake when you're clearly a bitch down underneath but now I think that she's kind of
embracing her bitch side more which makes me appreciate her more well she used to work for
bad boy she's been a working woman she started her own company she does her own thing and she
has to deal with nut jobs like Ramona Singer and that other crazy pants.
She's like Kim Richards.
They're like Kim and Kyle to me, but of New York.
But better dressed.
And she's just like the whitest person ever.
I love that she's like, yeah, I used to work with P. Diddy.
And so I'm going to really get down for my birthday.
Holla.
But you are so white.
I mean, you're the costume.
I read an interview with her several months ago
where she talked about how mortified she was
that they put holla in the opening segment.
I think that she said it as a joke or something like that.
And they put it in there,
and she's so embarrassed every time she hears it.
But I think that she's starting to embrace it as her thing, which is also mortifying but that's why it's back for the
second year in a row yeah because joyce got her thing changed where it was like you can never be
too young too pretty or too rich now it says or too what is it you can never be too nice
thin or nice shut up shut up um i will say, so here's what I like about the new...
Oh my god.
God, what a bunch of dicks.
Actually, let's talk about the opening lines
for New York this season.
They're crazy.
First of all, you have Aviva making a joke
about they don't have a leg to stand on.
So that's...
You're like, what?
And then you have the new girl, Kristen.isten her thing is i may not be the sharpest tool in the shed but at least i'm pretty
that is like what are we just what is this is reminds me of like that doll that lisa simpson
bought back in like season two of the simpsons where it was like everything was like a demeaning
statement for women for women for women like like how could
you ever like make that your how could you say oh yeah you're definitely getting a blow job after
you get diamond earrings i think that that's gonna fall back on you in a negative way to
having a daughter and the way you look to other women i know well i mean so here's the thing so
what do you guys think about what do you think about this new girl kristin i love her i love her too actually i think she's an out-of-the-box hit
i think i think she's i think she is definitely dumb yeah and that's what's fun about her is
dumb girls are fun to watch because they're dumb she's dumb but she's also like very animated which
i appreciate too like i love that she says how she kind of really hates having kids and how she jokes.
And I love how she jokes with her husband about like,
remember what it was like before the kids?
And I thought they were going to be like,
yeah, like our life wasn't complete.
And then they're like, yeah, that was so much fun.
Like it was so much better.
But I do take exception to when,
again, that opening line,
she brings it up during the show
about not the sharpest tool in the shed,
but at least she's pretty.
That's an inside, that's a joke,
a recurring joke with her and her husband.
I'm like, that's so insulting.
That's so inappropriate.
Wait, he says that to her?
That's their joke.
She says it's an inside joke.
Oh my God, can you imagine if Walter said that to me?
He'd be writing songs from his body.
Well, the guy probably
like verbally abuses her in a sense like he probably makes her feel like shit like you know
like makes her he's probably um manipulative in that way of that like have you ever had an e-boost
by the way an e-boost what is that yeah isn't that what he invented for he's a partner oh yeah i don't
know he made his money doing something else but this is like his new thing i don't know well e-boost
i had one the other day when i was flying because I have them on Virgin Airlines.
And it honestly tasted like something brought it into my water.
It was the apocalypse, and it was the only water left on the planet Earth, and I had to drink it.
And that's what it was.
So just FYI, if you ever want to try an e-boost.
That's funny. I'll just fyi if you ever want to try it that's funny i'll
just stick with diamond water uh drink water from the the corner slums of india and then drink an
e-boost ever again like i said i'll just stick with the diamond water which i'm sure is actually
manufactured in the corner slums of ind, not the processing plant that we saw.
Yeah, no kidding.
But one thing about this Heather
girl that I would like to say is
I don't really think she's...
I mean, I think she's dumb.
Whatever. The blonde.
She should be named Heather. Doesn't she seem
like a Heather?
She seems like a Heather or a Bridget.
Hey guys, I'm bridget i'm
but she she does seem kind of dumb but i mean she's a gorgeous model gorgeous she didn't ever
have to study but i think what i like about her is that she her face isn't that that pretty it's
a little pointy he said oh well i like that they have that relationship that they're very self-aware that
some older ugly guy who has a lot of money married a model i think that they're very self-aware of it
and it makes it makes it funny to me because she gives them blow jobs for diamond earrings yeah i
mean i think that they're joking about it because they know that perception of it and it's true and
i think that they've probably actually really grown to be good friends through it it seems like i mean just just from um you know obviously a flash
perspective it just seems like they've come to accept that fact and actually really started to
love each other maybe i don't know but it's cute it's like an arranged marriage gone right i mean
that's very it's from lebanese maybe that's a little of the
old country coming through but i like it i don't know i have to say for me it was just very exciting
to have these women back because i always feel like the women on real housewives of new york
even at their stupidest they still seem smarter than all the other women on all the other shows
is that me i mean I just feel like there's
something a little sharper. Yeah, because they're New Yorkers.
It's true. I mean, like, they're a little sharper.
They're a little more savvy. They definitely dress
the best out of any cast. Like, beyond.
Beyond. Someone on... They have stylists.
Did you not see Sonya's stylist?
Yeah, but, like, all the women have stylists.
You know? But someone on our
Facebook page was
like, oh, you should make fun of
um kristin's necklace that looked like intestines i'm like no i love that necklace i thought it
looked fantastic on her and i'm not someone who even notices things like that oh i thought it
was fitting that she's wearing a necklace that looks like a giant rope because this show's about
to ruin her fucking life well that's that's true too I thought it looked like an old set of balls
pulled out and twisted around her neck.
It's very fitting after she
got her diamond earrings.
Sonia, by the way, is
looking great, I think.
Sonia's body?
Whatever
she's doing,
I'm shocked. She looks amazing.
Yeah, she gets body work done done we saw her do it last season
i think what does she get done body work like she gets uh fat frozen and she gets lipo which i mean
she'll get everything nippy jeez i want to get that done and it's so funny because where do these
broke bitches get the money to do this well now i'm sure that she's probably stopped throwing
money at her toaster oven and now it's probably just putting it towards lipo toaster oh my god did they ever make up did heather and um and um what's her name ever make
up about the toaster oven tobacco they just decided to get over it yeah i think they're
just sort of just being friendly of course so the big thing that happened this episode in terms of
like making up was that aviva decided that she wanted to win back ramona
which we alluded to earlier so somehow um aviva managed to get ramona to go out to dinner and
aviva basically just kisses her ass the entire time i didn't get that i really didn't get that
because i think it's ramona's fault i don't think aviva really did anything wrong she said
no she called her she said that she shouldn't
be promoting all that drinking and alcohol and everything when she knows her best friend Sonia
is going through all that shit which I agree with and Ramona was making excuses for her saying well
she's going through a divorce and she's not getting this again it's like that's an excuse
yeah but she was right where Aviva really went off the deep end was on Scary Island.
Yeah.
When she was like, I expected a banner.
You should have put up a banner that said, congratulations, Aviva.
You made it.
Rah, rah.
Hurrah.
Oh, yeah.
That was, oh, my God.
Yeah, that's where Aviva went nuts.
And the problem is that, like, after she went crazy like that, no matter what she said after that, regardless of
whether or not it had any merit,
it was tainted because
she was a crazy woman and
she didn't really apologize properly. And by the
time she did it, it was too late. So even if she
was making a good point,
I don't know. I think she was
totally bonkers. And she's a psychotic woman.
She really is. And she's also tacky
as we saw when she went up to Carol and then immediately
asked her, do you mind editing my
book? I mean, are you crazy?
It's one thing to look at
a 30-page something or another,
or a 120-page script, but an
entire book? That's crazy.
Isn't that weird?
I know that it seems weird that Aviva's
kissing Ramona's ass, but here's...
I mean, we all know how these shows work.
If nobody tapes with you, you're gone.
Yeah.
Everyone hates Aviva.
And Ramona, at least, is so stupid that she can switch sides easily.
All you really have to do is kiss her ass and stroke her ego.
And Aviva's shamelessly doing it, knowing that Ramona's the boss of the whole show at this point.
She's like the Vicky Gundelson. i mean she's like the vicky gundelson yeah she's like the vicky and so if everybody makes her be nice and she'll
be at every event and she'll be invited places and she can keep her job i mean yeah that's really all
it is and it's hilarious to watch ramona fall for it well she's kissing my ass but it's working
well i loved also that ramona's like why now aviva why now do you do you
care i'm like well you know do you realize ramona that like a week ago there were no cameras and
starting this week then you know i have cameras for the next four months i think that's why now
uh that's why because she's visible to millions of people because the season is starting and you
guys need to coexist and she wants to sell her book yeah these women really hate aviva i mean every single one
of them even carol who at least tries to be nice just was like yeah i was like i can't my distance
a safe distance from aviva wait so how is she a princess show up and immediately start asking
what you could do for her oh my god oh god we make fun
of carol a lot but we actually love her the most yeah because she's about to reel out of all of
them voice for her but she just kind of has that old lady voice with her big fake porcelain
denture tea and she's always talking about having sex with young people she's the hat trick of fun
I don't know
is she dating them or adopting them
but
she's a princess because
she was married to
she was married to like a Kennedy who somehow had
some sort of royal ties
to something
it's a good thing we know
it's like very tenuous but we know it's a good thing we know. I know. It's like very
tenuous. But we know it's real because
it really offended Luann that she got
ranked. Yeah. Oh my god,
and she was like, but oh yeah, she got deranked.
She's the former Countess.
And I love that. The Discountess.
The Discountess.
The Discountess.
Who called her that?
Mario. Mario called her the discountess
and she was flummoxed for an entire season.
She's like, would you believe
that he called me the discountess?
I mean, how rude.
Not at the Cancer Society.
Never at the Cancer Society.
They were showing the whole season
and they were showing the reunion
and I was dying at Luann
when she's like,
well, I don't like when people talk behind my back
because that's just not the kind of princess I knowann when she's like, well, I don't like when people talk behind my back because that's just not the kind of princess
I know. And Carol's like,
like, you know a lot of princesses.
She coughed
and a cloud of smoke came out.
Oh, God.
Good to know. Good to know
that whole story. I am glad that
they are making it it's
almost like they're promising us that they're like don't worry everybody we will bring back
luann yeah they showed her a lot in the previews but they better bring back luann i'm not done
with her yet no i know luann is one of those that i talked about before she's someone who
transcended above like do i love her or hate her it doesn't matter because she's a force to be
reckoned with she's let's sheik say sheik so she's luann i mean she't matter because she's a force to be reckoned with. And we need her. She's, let's say chic.
She's Luann.
I mean, she's Luann.
She's the Countess.
We have to have her on.
I just love that she acts so classy, but she is really the grossest out of all of them.
She's the one.
You can't help yourself.
She's her boyfriend on national TV and then trying to lie about it.
And then on this season, it looks like she goes home with Harry.
No!
I mean, she's the best.
I love the way I am.
Oh, yeah.
And by the way, what a cock block Aviva is.
Sonia shows up with this, you know, a hot 23-year-old at this party.
And Aviva goes up and is like, Sal, how's Harry, my ex?
How's he doing?
What a cock block.
Wait, I'm confused.
Was that in a preview?
No, it was this episode.
It was a quick little scene.
But Aviva has this ex, Harry, that Sonia bangs, apparently.
That's disgusting!
And so Aviva goes up to Sonia while Sonia has a date on her arm
and starts asking her about how her ex-husband is.
Oh, my god.
Why would you do that?
Because you're a Viva. You're a Viva dresser and you're legitimately crazy.
And on top of that, when she's trying to apologize to Ramona,
she's like, I just want to say
I just want to say that I'm sorry
and, you know, I
didn't mean to be like that
and, you know, you have a few years on me, so I want to
learn from you.
Oh my god, why did she do that?
I don't know.
It's holding her age.
Basically saying you're an old whore.
And that was funny.
That part was like, you have a few years on me?
What does that mean?
What does that even fucking mean?
I don't even think that she does.
I mean, how much of an age difference can they have?
I don't know.
Do you know? But Aviva's kids are really young, which is crazy.
Well, it's a modern
miracle. Modern miracle.
Yeah, we all know.
Alright, so why don't we move on to Atlanta,
which also had
a noteworthy episode. It was the beginning
of their vacation.
The big thing that dominated this episode
was that Cordell Stewart made an appearance.
Peter went to visit Cordell Stewart,
which, by the way, I think this is,
falls way more in the flagrant foul situation
than Brandy and Sheena, if you ask me.
Yeah.
This was just rotten.
Peter is just disgusting.
Peter, I was like,
I was actually offended by Peter the entire episode.
I mean, that he goes,
and so Cordell has this whole,
Cordell says this whole thing about how,
you know, he's like,
Portia would always bring her family over,
and then, like, one day,
I came home and Portia's mom was sitting on my,
sitting on my beige chairs
in my master bedroom watching TV.
It's like, get over yourself, Cordell.
Yeah.
Way to prove you're not gay.
You're mad that your your couch almost got stained.
Really?
You're coming on to disprove gay rumors with that.
I mean, I've never been over to Ben's apartment.
The fact that his furniture looks like that and Cordell is straight, please.
It looks like someone was shot on Ben's
futon. No, the futon's
gone. I've got new furniture.
Oh my god, are you serious?
Ben passed it up. Yeah.
You can go onto my Instagram, bsideblog, and you can see
my apartment. In fact, I posted a picture of it just
last week because I was like, the lighting
looked good and for a moment my apartment looked like a real grown-up Cordell Stewart apartment.
When you came out of the closet, be remodeled.
Oh, my God.
Let me tell you something.
I will make sure I do not eat a can of SpaghettiOs sitting on your new couch.
Yeah.
You know what?
Can I tell you something?
When I came out of the closet, one of my best friends, I told him he's straight.
And I was like, you know, so I'm gay. And he goes, gay and he goes huh he goes well you're gonna need some better clothes now the very first thing
you said gave it away to me because i was like there's no way because this apartment looks like
a fucking dorm room it really did it really did back in the day it was like a frat house i was
like i don't know what fraternity you're in, but if I sit on this couch,
I'm afraid I'm going to get pregnant.
It was Sigma Phi Epsilon.
I was a SIGEP.
As was our dearly departed Matt Whitfield.
He was also a SIGEP, but we're in different colleges.
Oh, okay. Good to know.
Wait, so anyway, so Cordell
tells his side of the story,
which is very flimsy.
Not grounds for divorce, if you ask me.
Oh, my God.
Like grounds for like annoyance, grounds for annoyance, if it were true, but not divorce.
Well, I heard that you told her you were going to break up with her on Twitter.
And he's like, she knew.
She already knew.
Yeah, she knew it was coming because you had a fight a long time ago.
You told her on Twitter.
You didn't even deny it.
How disgusting!
Who does that? Who gets a divorce
on Twitter?
I know.
So here's what really...
This is actually the thing that Peter said
that really rubbed me the worst way
of the whole episode.
I think he was telling us in an interview
in a confessional thing,
and he starts saying about, like,
see, all these women are, like,
talking, talking, talking, and he makes this little, like,
gesture with his hand, like the
nattering gesture.
Like, na-na-na-na-na-na-na, they're just talking, talking,
talking, so I went and, you know, and I talked to him.
And I'm like, that's so misogynist.
It's so sexist of you to say it like
that, as if, like, what the women
are saying barely even matters.
And who cares?
They're just a bunch of women gossiping.
But he was doing that.
But when he hears it man-to-man, that somehow makes it real.
And somehow Cordell's side is now magically almost more legit because he's just man-to-man.
We talk about these women all the time.
We always say they're stupid or this or that.
But the truth is, we will ultimately defend women.
And why the hell did he bring it up in front of everyone in the limo?
That is so petty and disgusting.
He's attacking a woman who's alone on a couple's trip in front of everybody.
And it's being paid for by his wife because his you know, his ass doesn't make any money.
His building's already being foreclosed on, supposedly.
I mean, please.
Shut up.
Here, I'm going to look.
It's so vile.
I just, yeah, like, it's like, it's, you know,
because the thing is that what Portia is saying,
and I believe Portia,
what she's saying went wrong in the marriage
is, like like really serious
shit, like about being controlled, et cetera, et cetera. And we saw a lot of evidence to that,
you know? And, you know, and she, I thought was being very honest when she said, look,
uh, I basically agreed. I knew about your reputation and I wanted to, as a service to you
to help clear your reputation. Like that's's most women i think would not want to
admit that because it shows a lot of cunning you know yeah she really i think was laying it all out
there and i believe porsche 100 and for peter to question it and then to go to the to to this guy
and and get his story it was so it was just but also he thinks he's making friends with someone
who's famous
and that will make him look better and bring rich clients to his stupid bar that's going to be
closed down any second now because he owes a hundred thousand dollars in unpaid back rent
which i just learned from the internet thank you oh my god a hundred thousand dollars according to
the internet which is always correct cindy's got his ass um but he's kissing ass so that he can get money
from this rich guy and then he's trying to stand up for the rich guy but basically he got his wife
to say on national television that he's gay and basically hired her to be a closet case and then
he uh or hired her to be a beard and then he confirmed it by saying so you're basically
saying he hired you to be a beard i'm like repeated it
a couple of times just in case we didn't get it it's like peter you are too stupid to even use
somebody he's like you know that he's literally like asleep at the table while porsche is stating
her side of the case i mean he's yeah and of course greg is trying to say something like
well maybe you're outran a blessing i'm like no no no, no, no. No, stupid. She's not outran a single blessing.
Oh, my God.
By the way, I got to tell you something.
I think Nene is a very mean person.
Very mean.
Duh.
I'm done with trying to think,
because I used to think she was funny,
and she would say really funny things.
I thought she was really quirky,
and I'm like, Nene is so crazy when she's nay-nay,
and all this stuff.
Now it's just, she keeps bringing up money, and I am rich, and I'm like, Nene is so crazy when she's Nene and all this stuff. Now it's just keep, she keeps bringing up money and I am rich and I am this.
And it's like, that is, that empire isn't going to last.
It's nominated for some award for best, for worst actress of the year in any sitcom for how terrible she was on that show.
Then she was on a couple of reality shows.
Who cares?
Like, get over yourself. She thinks she's fucking julia roberts and then they hire her on dancing with the stars which
really made me hate that oh my god me too i'm not watching it because of that i refuse it's like
putting a moose on a dance floor why would you do that to the poor dancer god bless his heart
i know why why oh my god Imagine who has to do lifts with her.
Oh, my God.
Insurance policy.
Nene's horrible.
And Nene's going off against Marlo this whole time because Marlo betrayed her by being nice to Kenya.
I don't know.
I can't even handle Nene's.
Marlo's like, I'm so mad.
I can't believe she would do this to me. She has such a man voice. I can't even do it. I'm trying to do a Marlo voice. I'm so mad I can't believe you would do this to me
she has such a man voice
I can't even do it I'm trying to do Marla's voice
I'm stopping right now
your voice isn't even deep enough to do Marla's voice
do you know that Walter thing
she looks like a tranny
she looks like a man
that's a rumor that she's
that she's transgendered
is it really
by the way was anyone else
slightly uncomfortable
when these couples all showed up
in Mexico and they trotted out
Lawrence in a poncho
with a mustache and sombrero?
And he's like, hey!
In high heels!
I was like, could you imagine?
I mean...
Could you imagine any culture
going to China and being like
going to like china and being like surprised and laurence comes out like in a kimono and be like
ching chong ching chong like that's what it was like to me i was like this is crazy right now
it was insulting i'm not kidding it was it was and i think it's also sad that kenya has nothing
of her own i mean i don't like Nene very much right now,
but Kenya did swoop in to get that friend to piss Nene off.
That's really her only friend on the show that she hangs out with.
And then her gay friend is Sheree's friend.
Like, she doesn't even have her own things.
She has her own prince.
Kenya's lost to me.
Kenya's a lost person.
Because, first of all, everyone keeps saying,
oh, her magical African prince
I saw her
on Watch What Happens and even
Andy Cohen after he was like
he couldn't even pronounce it
Kenya that's a country
right
I just
I felt really bad because Kenny had nothing to say.
You know, when Andy Combs says this about you, and maybe there isn't even a magical print, she's like, oh, just stay tuned.
And we're like, we are.
And he's still not there.
Well, she got caught, supposedly got caught.
The fucking internet is really ruining my life but supposedly she got
caught hiring some guy who's like a famous singer in nigeria or something to appear with her
somewhere on camera or something and she tried to hire him again through his agent to come on
the reunion show but he was booked already oh my well remember she hired that that was already happened remember for um
what was it some guy said oh yeah he came out in the end and said yeah she made me
not your walter not your walter her walter gay walter oh yeah that's right walter the plumber
he's a toe he had a toe company oh oh, Walter the Toe Truck Guy.
Was he gay?
I think the rumor was that he was.
Oh, Kenya planted the seed that he was gay.
Because that's what you do on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
You try and date the most terrible,
you try and marry the most terrible man you can find who will spend all your money and treat you like crap.
And if you can't, then you just say he's gay.
Oh my God.
By the way, how excited do you think dwight was when there was
a possibility that phaedra might take him on vacation because after all these years he still
has not been brought to a single vacation oh poor dwight i think we've been saved dwight you know
dwight no who's dwight he used to be nini's gay he's that waxy guy who does all the parties for
porsche oh my god dwight he's like the black chucky yeah you know what his face scares me that waxy guy who does all the parties for Porsche? Oh my God. Dwight.
He's like the black Chucky.
Yeah.
You know what?
His face scares me.
I'm scared of it.
It's,
it's truly,
he looks like a scepter.
He literally looks like,
like a snake scepter.
Like it's like,
like he should be held by an evil queen and brandished about.
Oh my God.
He really,
and I'm sorry,
but I can't deal with Phaedra anymore.
I can't.
Oh,
I love Phaedra. deal with phaedra anymore i can't oh i love phaedra
i love phaedra a southern bale never loses a charm
she's like girl you know he was motherfucking crazy and i'm like oh my god wait what about
your ladylike charm oh my god she had some line this week i wish i'd written it down
it was so funny do you guys remember what do guys remember what it was? Ronnie and I actually watched
it together. There were a couple. Honey, I would
rather Portia take my black history final
exam. Yes, that's what it was.
I'm so hard at that.
Hold on. I have another one here somewhere.
Let me find it. I would rather Portia
take my black history final exam. I started making gifts.
I have one waiting for the Real Housewives recap to be
turned in. Oh, please God, make
one of i would rather
have porsche take my bike i did i did um but she has another one where she was like she was talking
about kenya and she's like that rently driving no man haven't rently the rently walter went crazy
he goes oh my god a rently i missed the rently i missed that that's amazing that rently driving He goes, oh, my God, a Rently. This is not a Rently.
I miss the Rently.
I miss that.
That's amazing.
That Rently driving, no man having.
I love her.
She is so funny.
And also, I really love her now because it turns out she's a godfather and is, like, running a huge criminal empire, which is amazing.
Wait a second.
What?
Have you not heard all this stuff?
Okay.
What's happening so
this girl named angela something i'm sorry i don't remember your name but if i did i would be even
worse of a person than i already am and i have no time for you bitch but her name is angela something
and she went to jail because she used to work for uh phedra with apollo they were partners in all
these schemes that phedra had going on,
defrauding banks by opening fake car dealerships
and getting fake loans to these fake,
I mean, real loans to these fake customers
and then spending the money.
So she had all of these business,
that's why she's got all these businesses
to funnel her money through.
So she's apparently like this huge criminal
and she's really good at keeping her
hands clean by hiring other people. And Apollo was one of her employees and that's why he went
to jail. And she married him so he couldn't testify against her. Now that is all rumor
from this Angela Stanton. Oh, I am a terrible person. Angela Stanton is her name. So look it
up if you don't believe me, because she gave a whole big interview about it. And I totally believe it, because
now Apollo was just arrested,
and it was for all
of the stuff that this bitch talked about already.
Wait a second, wait, just recently?
Yeah, yeah, like about a month ago
he was arrested. Yeah, oh, it's big. Like, this is
gonna, this is like, this is
like a lot of serious charges are
against him. Oh my god, is this gonna
be like the New Jersey, is this gonna be like a Teresa of serious charges are against him oh my god it's gonna be like the new jersey is this
gonna be like a theresa guadice or yeah this is like this is like just but i mean they made i
think they had larger uh federal fraudulent issues but this one's a pretty big case against
against apollo it's bad say that she's next because really all it takes is someone to turn
it can't be only them you know apparently she's got like a whole network of people and this angela stanton girl was one of
the ones who already went down but if people start turning on her you know oh shit oh my god she's
al pacino or because you know here she is on some reality show acting like some sweet southern bell
when really everything kenya said about her is kind of true she's this shady character who's got like well remember remember the first season she was on she was super shady
when she kept on saying that she was like having her child at five months you know like she she
likes to keep a secret yeah there was some oh i forgot all about that remember she's like yeah
so what was the implication that it couldn't be
that she wasn't married
when she got pregnant
or that Apollo
couldn't be the father
because he was in jail?
No, I think it was that
like if the child,
if it had been like
a nine month thing,
then she would have had
to have gotten pregnant
before getting married.
I think that's what
the situation was.
Like they have so much
class in Atlanta
that that's what
they're going to work.
Oh my God.
Like anyone cares nowadays anyway. Oh my God. Like, anyone cares nowadays anyway?
Oh, my God.
You guys aren't married and you're being a kid?
Oh, you're going to hell, you whore.
Well, then all of L.A. is going to go up in flames for another reason now.
They will.
Well, did you guys watch Southern Charm this week?
I did.
So it's funny because that's like showing the other side of the south in a sense
like i feel like atlanta shows the nouveau riche and southern charm shows the the old money just
the riche their old money we talked about this last week i said we talked about how i said at
least that i really enjoyed watching assholes with old money versus assholes with new money because it's a different side of assholeness i love assholes with old money
that's that is my favorite it's like a whole different style so this week um not much happened
this week but um by the way are we done with atlanta can i talk about southern charm of course
yeah of course bless your heart oh a true gentleman always lets a lady speak.
Atlanta is my favorite one, and I don't like dissing people too bad on it because I just love them.
I think it's the funniest show on TV.
Well, Southern Charm, I don't have too much to say about it this week, but I do find it very entertaining.
And I have to say, Whitney's mother, Whitney is a man, Katie.
Whitney's mother is this, like, Southern Belle Lucille Bluth,
and she is one of the best things to come out of Bravo in months.
She is amazing.
Is she like Mama Elsa, first season?
No, she's sort of like, okay, so here's an example.
So this guy, Whitney, has this assistant who sort of looks like Busy Phillips,
and she's this blonde girl.
She says things, and they cut to the mother. She's basically holding a martini, or she is in my mind,
and she goes, I don't like her. Let me explain that again. I don't like her. I do not like her.
I do not like her. And I just could not stop loving her. And that's the way she is the whole
episode. Every time you see her, she basically is saying different versions of
I don't like her. She's like,
when are you getting your life together? What's
happening with your movie? Because I
don't like her. He's like,
Mama, I want to open a Mexican restaurant.
She's like, I think that's a little out of your
league.
Isn't that out of your expertise a little
bit? He's like, what do you know
about Mexicans? Oh my God, this lady is hilarious. Wait's like, what do you know about Mexicans?
Oh my god, this lady is hilarious.
Wait a second, did this just, when did
Southern Term debut? Last week.
The second episode was on Monday.
Okay, well then maybe I will catch up.
I did not want to watch it, but I started
watching it and I really like it a lot.
It's just like wealthy people.
I'm basically watching it for her because I think she's funny.
Do you guys know how it's doing in the ratings?
Is it like a bomb or is it great?
I have no idea.
I feel like it's probably not doing that well because...
Is it going to be like Work Etc. or OMG?
Or like every other show they've released this year except Below Deck.
OMG, LOL, or whatever the hell that song was.
No, I think it's doing...
LOL, Cats, or whatever.
I don't know how it's doing, but I'm enjoying it.
And I'm very fascinated by this one character, Thomas Ravenal, who is 50 years old.
Although I actually thought he was more of a weathered 40.
I was surprised that he was 50.
And he's trying to be a politician, but he doesn't have any kids.
I was with a famous parent or something.
He's like a legacy of whatever. Yeah, well, they're all legacies.
Every time I go over that bridge,
I think of my father and how he paid for it.
It's like, congratulations.
Oh my god.
Shep has a breed of dogs
that's named after him.
They're basically all
excessively wealthy.
And their former
family members probably
had slave farms.
Slaves falling out of the trees.
Yeah, it's like, congratulations
on all that wealth your family built on the back
of slaves. Yay! Let's go to the beach!
I don't even sleep at night
thinking about George Washington
Carver.
Well, this show is also hilarious i mean and by hilarious i mean sad because it's these old guys okay one of them has the worst wig i've
ever seen oh my god that's at least comb your wig yeah no that's whitney because he's like quote
unquote like like indie and alternative so that means that he wears like rumpled shirts.
A little rumpled.
Maybe like a blazer that's like white instead of black
with a black shirt and he's like
all indie and cool
but he's also 45 and
wigs and bad wigs.
And then there's the other guy who's
50 who's like going to run for mayor
or something.
The other charm is the old people. No, no, no. But then there's Shep who's 35 and then there's another guy who's 50 who's like gonna run for maya or something yeah the other charm is the old old
people no no but then there's shep who's 35 and there's another guy who's like 25 yeah they're
mixing them they're mixing the old and the young it's kind of okay because this seems i mean you
know most of the time i feel like bravo does that you know those workout girls show yeah did that
get picked up do you know i don't know i never even watched it even I couldn't even turn that bullshit on. I mean, look, I tried and it was painful.
But I think the shows with younger, spoiled people doesn't work.
I think you really have to have a diverse cast because you're going to get better viewers that way.
Yeah, the only time it ever works with young, spoiled brats, obviously, is Vanderpump Rules.
But everything else...
But Luke was the helm of it.
Yeah, it's a mix still
yeah absolutely i think and plus there's like a different quality to arguments that come from
older people you know younger people when they argue they're just something there's something
like very vapid and annoying about it but when it's like older people going at each other there's
something like fascinating about like they mean it yeah it's like it's like you shouldn't be doing
this but you are i think it's so sad to look at these guys and they're chasing these 20 year old girls
it's like one of them's like running for office so he needs to have the perfect wife and he's
basically just auditioning people to marry you know he's gonna cheat on his whole life anyway
yeah and so he's dating this beautiful blonde girl who looks like she's 25 years old and he's
like well i wonder if she's good enough for me it's like you are fucking 50 and you're a criminal and you went to jail for
trafficking drugs while you were fucking state treasury oh my god yes and he's like wondering
if someone's good enough for him please cracker please back there i mean it's just full of crazy delusional people but he is funny and
he's also the person who said i never had a problem with cocaine i just like the way it smells
oh my god that is genius yeah but then the the only other thing i thought that was noteworthy
was that there was a little kerfuffle because shep uh went after like Shep went after like Katie
and the thing is that some other guy
wanted Katie but Shep
broke code which was
sort of poor on Shep's part so then
there's this guy I forget what's the name of the young guy
doesn't matter
so he likes this girl I think her name is Katie
or Catherine
and so but Shep
swoops in and bangs her etc so then
i know so then the three of them are like out at drinks or something and then shep makes a joke
about like how he has standards and then the the young guy who's pissed that shep took his girls
like yeah standards until 11 p.m you know which is he says it's right in front of the girl so he's
basically insulting the girl that she is like a low standard you know and she's like ew fuck you
and he's like no stay out of it i'm like are you still trying to have a shot at this girl because
you are doing a terrible job like you're insulting her like no you should just like ignore chef and
just go after her well that girl was a hoe a A redhead girl, right? She is. I mean, that girl fucked the mayor guy the first hour that she met him.
And then she's already fucking one of his friends.
Like, these people.
And then, is that the girl that the other one was trying to fuck, too?
Yeah.
It was like, hoe.
Well, they're like, her hair is dyed red.
And they're like, wow, never seen a hair dyed red before.
Oh, my God.
They're like, oh, she's such a rebel.
She's such a rebel with her red hair.
Yeah. This show is a fucking train wreck
okay let me ask you now about
Blood Sweat and Tears
Heels Blood Sweat and Heels
I hate it I cannot with that
show anymore I keep watching it because you say you love it
but that show is a waste of my damn time
I love it but I have to say
it did have a strong start and the past
few episodes have been a little blah but time i love it but i have to say it did have a strong start and the past few episodes
have been a little blah but um i do love it i mean what were they thinking they were going to be
following i mean first of all a blogger okay she doesn't do anything but sit at home eat cheetos
and write things and we know that because we are bloggers yeah okay so that bitch has no life um
an alcoholic what is what is micah supposed to even be doing on that show
I'm just trying to think
when they put this together
I feel like it was just some white guy
who was like find some black ladies
because people really like Real Housewives of Atlanta
and Married to Medicine
so just find some that aren't in their 40s
and put them on camera
get a blogger and then a bunch of other people
did you guys have any kind of plan beyond that?
Because I don't see it.
Like, they're so boring.
I can't watch it.
I refuse.
It was, honestly, it was, like, so good in the beginning of the season.
The past, like, one or two episodes have been a little dull.
But, like, you know, Micah is some reality gold.
You know what?
In fact, when I said the mother from Southern Charm is the best thing to come out of Bravo
in a few months, I stand corrected.
She's the best thing to come out of Bravo since Mica.
Because Mica is a great character.
And the others are like really...
They could be funny too, but they're just a little
too mature. So they haven't been fighting as much
as they really need to be.
It was kind of funny, I thought,
when Genevieve
or is it Geneva, whatever, was trying to put Kegel balls up her vag, but she dropped them on the ground.
I started to take notes, and the only thing I wrote down for the whole show was, please don't make me watch this bitch insert Kegel balls.
Please.
Because she was talking about them, and then she pulls them out, and I was like, oh, my God, is she going to really do this?
And then she drops one and, like, washes it off the sink, which is hilarious.
But I don't know.
I don't need to.
I don't know.
I don't even know that.
It's like Lisa Goudreau in that.
So I didn't need to see that.
Have you ever watched that?
Oh, well, I know how that is.
That's disgusting.
Gross.
Don't need it.
It needs to stop.
So what else?
Is other stuff starting on Brobs coming up?
Are you guys watching Flipping Out?
No.
Oh, wait. Did that start?
I think it had two episodes.
I never have anything to say about it.
It's like when I watch it, it's funny, but
I've got nothing to say.
Yeah, me too.
Guess who just walked in the room
to say hello to all the Watch What Crappens
viewers? James Brown.
Richard Marks?
Watch What Crappens viewers, hello!
Hey, it's Walter.
Well, hello, Walter.
Can Walter hear us?
Yeah, he can hear you.
Wait, can somebody see me?
No, thank God. Yeah, put your pants back. He's up to my earphones. Wait, did somebody see me? No.
Thank God.
Yeah, put your pants back. I'm not wearing anything.
They know you were just working with Richard Marks,
so they hope that you have pants on.
Otherwise, nice story.
I was trying to get Katie to bring Richard Marks out here into the podcast.
What are your thoughts on that, Judy?
I just want to see what you think that Richard tweeted of me.
Oh, Richard tweeted you?
Okay.
I'm going to show you.
I know, Judy, but this is live.
Well, I don't care.
Walter, what was your favorite thing that happened on Bravo this week?
I don't like High Fives of New York
Why?
I don't think that they're interesting enough
To get my attention
How could you say that?
You just called me uninteresting
That's not very nice of you
You know, I'm a professional woman
I work very hard for what I have
Do you guys know he calls Aviva Eileen?
Eileen?
Oh, because she has to lean on one leg
Come on, Eileen Aviva, I lean. I lean? Oh, because she has to lean on one leg.
Come on, I lean.
That's better than Peggy.
Listen, I put up with Housewives of Beverly Hills.
I put up with Housewives of Atlanta.
I put up with, you know,
Lisa and her
Vanderpump, whatever
crew,
but I just can't do the New York crew.
New York, I was just saying, is the one that stresses
me out. That one and the Real Housewives of New Jersey.
It's my favorite. New York is my favorite.
I love New Jersey. I'm
dying to hear if those two are going
to prison. Well, they're not going to
show it because they already filmed it.
But hopefully they are in July.
Yay!
Maybe they'll go to jail on Independence Day.
Wouldn't that be amazing?
Oh, my God.
But no, they'll get rid of Joe Giudice.
He'll have to move back to Italy.
No, I don't think he's getting deported.
I think I read that somewhere that he's not, right?
It's like, sorry for the terrible pizza we're about to send your way, Italy.
Wait a second.
So Richard Marks just tweeted,
at W Afanasiev has the musical DNA of about 14 genius musicians all to himself.
Hashtag not fair to us mortals.
You know what's not fair?
That he didn't mention David Foster in that tweet.
David Foster is the genius.
Barbra Streisand was at our house
yesterday.
Not even Barbra Streisand
has an attitude like Beyonce.
Oh my god.
You know, I told you guys from the beginning
and now you believe me.
Yes. Alright.
Well, on that note, I think we should
wrap it up because this is a one long-ass podcast.
Oh, my God.
It's long, but it's to the point.
And everyone who's listening is going to go, yeah, you said exactly what I was thinking.
I love you guys.
We've been bad about doing real short podcasts lately because it's like changeover time between the housewives.
So it was good to have a bunch of crap to bitch about this week.
Absolutely.
So thank you, Katie, for once again coming back on.
Thanks, Walter, for coming on, too.
You're welcome.
You're welcome.
You're welcome.
You can find Katie on Twitter at ThePaintedNail.
ThePaintedNail.
ThePaintedNail.
Also, you can find her on Facebook, too.
You can find Ronnie
at TrashTweetTV on Twitter,
and his website is TrashTalkTV.com.
He does a lot of funny videos and things
and recaps. Yeah, and I do recaps
at Beverly Hills, and I just started
a Tumblr thing for GIFs, because they're
really fun. So come to, just search for
Trash Talk Recaps.
Trash Talk TV Recaps on Tumblr.
Yeah. And then I'm at
bsideblog.com and
my Twitter handle and Instagram handle
is bsideblog, all one word.
You can also listen to my other
podcast called The Banter Blender.
We'll be recording a new episode tomorrow,
I hope. So
anyway, thanks everyone for
listening. Facebook page is facebook.com forward slash
watch what crap ends and we will
speak to you all next week bye everyone
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye
if you like listening to comedy
try watching it on the
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On Monday, Josh Leibarger made his status,
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