Watch What Crappens - #119: Reading, Writing and Beating Up Popular People

Episode Date: March 20, 2014

Ronnie Karam (TrashTalkTV) and Ben Mandelker (bsideblog) are joined by the incomparable Alexandra August (TrashTalkTV) to laugh about the amazing "Bookgate" episode of Real Housewives of New York, plus the first part of a month long reunion fest on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. There are also some marital issues to discuss on Real Housewives of Atlanta, the season finale of Blood Sweat and Heels, and crazy news from the ever classy Southern Charm. Join us! Our Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/watch-what-cra... On iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/w... Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/watchwhatcrap... Ronnie on the Web: http://www.trashtalktv.com Ronnie on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/trashtalkteevee Ronnie on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/trashtalktv Ronnie on Tumblr: http://trashtalktvrecaps.tumblr.com/ Ben on the Web: http://www.bsideblog.com Ben on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/bsideblog Ben on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/bsideblog See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Whether you're building your dream business or starting a website for fun, visit GoDaddy.com and enter WWC295 at checkout. It's go time. Some limitations apply. See website for details. Again, the code is WWC295. Get it? Because it's like, watch what crap

ends 295 because it's $2.95 for whatever you're going to buy. Well, it has to be a new.com or transfer. I just got that. I'm glad you explained it. So original. Why don't you just start a website about how original that deal is? So everyone, godaddy.com WWC2952.95,

and you get a new or transfer.com for the low price of $2.95. What a wonderful Mardi Gras. That's what it's all about. Vanderpump rules. Come gather round and make fun of these fools. A podcast about Bravo. Nothing runs with Bravo.

Watch what. Watch what. Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens. Happens. Happens. Happens. Happens. Happens.

Happens. Watch what. Happens. Watch What Crappens. Watch What Crappens. Watch What Crappens. Watch What Crappens. Watch What Crappens. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Watch What Crappens. Watch What Crappens. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Hey everyone, welcome to the Watch What Crappens! doing Southern Charm, and she was doing Vanderpump Rules before that, and her name is Alexandra August. Hello, Al.

Hello, hello. Welcome. It's your first time. I know it is. I'm really nervous. Did you bring a condom? Your podcast, sure. Much heard.

The butts have been broken. Yeah, our podcast firm does not make podcast babies. Don't worry. You'll be fine. This isn't Southern Comfort. Good. I can't take care of anything but myself right now. You can find me on Twitter at

TrashTweetTV to find recap stuff, and my personal is at RonnieKaram. And what else? I've been doing Tumblr. That's really fun. It's Trash Talk TV Recaps. I've been making a lot of gifs and stuff. And you can find Ben at B-Side Blog

pretty much everywhere. Online, bsideblog.com. On Twitter, at B-Side Blog. On Facebook, at B-Side Blog. At Instagram, at B-Side Blog. Everywhere. Grindr. B-Side Blog. B-Side Blog. All of that.

Scruff, B-Side Blog. Yeah, Craigslist, Missed Connections, B-Side Blog. M for M, B-Side blog, all of that. Scruff, B-Side blog. Yeah, Craigslist, Missed Connections, B-Side blog. M for M, B-Side blog. I actually signed my M for M. My anonymous connections I actually signed, B-Side blog. I go against the rules. Alex, what is your Twitter handle? My Twitter handle is Alex August, A-L-X August.

And honestly, I'm bad at the tweeter. So if you really just, you can just not go on it. Just go on Trash Talk TV and follow my recaps. Because literally the only thing I tweet is my recaps. Yeah, talk closer to here when you talk. Or talk louder. I'll probably just talk louder. Yeah, we're sharing a mic.

So sorry about that. Yeah, and my mic isn't working. So the audio is all wonky on this episode. Yes, this is a great mic, so sorry about that. Yeah, and my mic isn't working, so the audio is all wonky on this episode. Yes, this is a great start, everybody. I know, I'm feeling very chippy today. You know, I'm proud to announce that about half an hour ago, it's only about noon today, and I've already snapped at one of our listeners on the Facebook page today. You did? Why? What happened?

I've got the spirit of Matt Woodfield in me today. Who are you telling off on Facebook? Now I have to go look. Oh, you can find us on Facebook at facebook.com slash watchwhatcrappens and on Twitter at whatcrappens. And that's enough of that Twitter crap. It wasn't like a big tell-off. But, like, everyone's, you know, we have a recurring guest, Katie,

who Ronnie and I are friends with and we've known for a while. And we really like Katie. And it's really nice when she's able to come on the podcast with us. It always helps us. We always like having a third person. It helps us as podcasters. We just like it. And Katie has, I guess some people are just not big fans of hers, which is fine.

You don't have to like all of our guests. Although I'm sure Alex will be nothing but a stellar hit. But people are like, wow, she's polarizing me on you. She's ruining the podcast. She's doing this. She's doing that. Like, she's, you know, da-da-da-da. And she's always pushing her agenda.

I'm like, she has no agenda. Her agenda is that she was sitting around and we're like, hey, can you come talk about Bravo? She's like, okay, sure. She does it as a favor for us. So it's all this, like, yapping about Katie is starting to annoy me. So that's why I snapped. But I think I'm going to blame this on Aviva Drescher because I'm in an Aviva mood. Oh, good.

Well, that'll make for a good podcast. So why don't we start off with Real Housewives of New York because that's the most recent one I watched because effing Time Warner. Okay, look, I know that Time Warner doesn't listen to this but fuck you time warner okay yeah i stopped paying for cable because you guys are fucking ridiculous and um i was still getting free basic cable just through the line and they switched everything to digital and now i don't get anything but cbs and when i called to complain the guy laughed at me on the phone and he was like and he was like well you don't pay for it i was like that's not the point that's the principle so now i cannot watch anything night of i have to wait for somebody to upload that shit do you know this is going to ruin my

podcasting schedule it's going to ruin my recap schedule and i'm not paying 40 a month to watch crap on bravo i'm not going to do it well you know what? The sense of entitlement you have is great because that's really the spirit of a Bravo star. I should have a sense of entitlement. Fuck them for trying to make me pay. That shit has commercials. I have to sit there and watch commercials. I have to pay you now to watch commercials. That isn't bullshit. I'm old

enough to remember when cable came out and they were like, this is great because people will pay for it and you don't have to watch commercials. Remember that bullshit? And then we all got it and then they all started charging us. Fuckers. Yeah. Yeah. Look, we're all chippy today. Alex, complain about something.

It was really warm on my way to work today. I thought I was going to get here faster, but I didn't. It's hot. It's hot now. It's summer here. It's hot now. I wish I was back on the East Coast where there was snow. LA is so hard. It's summer here. It's hot now. I wish I was back on the East Coast where there was snow. LA is so hard. I had to go to the beach on Sunday. Guys, did you believe St. Patrick's Day was just two days ago, and now it's like boiling

hot? It's crazy. Yeah, not cute. Yeah, I had to go to the beach in February, and I was really, really upset about it. How awful. I mean, just messes with your brain. I did not have time to do any yoga to get my bikini body all ready. Okay, so Real Housewives of New York.

So, Real Housewives of New York. So, Real Housewives of New York is starting off really, really great. Yeah. Last year everyone was mad because Carol never said anything to anyone's face. It was just all snarky remarks to us on the little

diary room camera. Which I thoroughly enjoyed, frankly. Carol became my favorite housewife. Me too, but all the housewives complained at the reunion and now carol has just come out swinging she's already called a stupid bitch but she has full reason to i was surprised she didn't hit her this episode apparently she does next week but well not really hit her but she grabs her face good it's about time someone grabbed that face and put a banner up on it said congratulations for making it to your new house.

And having two eyes but one leg. Okay, so if you guys don't watch it, Carol is a book writer and Aviva is going to write a book. And everyone hates Aviva already before anything even happened. And Aviva goes to lunch with Carol. I guess I don't even know what she was doing there and trying to get advice. I don't know what she was doing, but basically started hinting around that she didn't write her book. And then Carol's like, well, did you write your book? And she's like, yeah, it wasn't that hard. It was like writing emails. And then an editor put it together. Yeah. So Carol's already pissed. And then Aviva, you know, felt the diss and went around telling everybody that she heard Carol had a ghostwriter on her book. I have to tell you, within eight minutes of this episode, I was already cringing.

And I knew it was just going to go to a worse and worse place in the best possible way. When they had that lunch and Aviva's talking about, oh, well, you know, writing, it's just like writing an email. It's like very easy for me. You know, I'm not like Carol. I'm not, I don't, if someone says that to me, I'm like, it's just like writing an email. It was like very easy for me. You know, I'm not like, I'm not like Carol. I'm not, I don't, if someone says that to me, I'm like, fine, you know, like writing is writing, et cetera, et cetera. But I could see how Carol was getting so pissed off and that was making me cringe. And then when, and then for Viva to insinuate that Carol had a ghostwriter, oh, I was like,

this is going to be an episode. This season is off to a great start well then she like first of all and the in the lunch she was she totally she dropped the single white female thing and then that's all i can think about for the rest of the lunch like you kind of are a creepy stalker with the glasses and everything oh yeah because i've even showed up with our glasses you remember when i like loved you and was like stalking you and then i went and got your glasses i mean they're similar but they're not exactly the same i was like well i hope you didn't get my glasses because they're mine and i feel like in carol's head aviva was like sneaking around like she had a she had a

ninja leg on for this act like sneaking around her house looking for her like trying to pick up stuff cutting off a lock of carol's hair while she slept you know like this is you know now the second season in a row where someone's tried to steal carol's style i believe it was luann last season who was like i think like uh wore a cape lid or something that carol had worn and and caused caused radzival to bristle yeah well aviva i'm so sick of how she's talking already she sounds like an ambulance like a really low tone ambulance it's coming down the street and everybody has to pull over. She can't like quite close her mouth. So every time she finishes the sentence, her mouth kind of hangs open just a little bit and waits for the next one.

It's just I couldn't stop staring at that. I know it's weird, but I just couldn't stop looking at it. Well, there's there's something sort of hilarious about about a woman who's overtly kissing ass trying to get in everyone's good graces. And then the first thing she does after this lunch is start talking shit about carol and i'm sorry i have to say the idea that nobody has dropped the word slander on aviva like in the after this episode isn't it i'm sorry if you say that somebody didn't write a book they said they wrote when they actively did like that's got to be damaging to someone's career at least like it's got to be possibly damaging to somebody's career i'm shocked that nobody was like maybe you should stop calling out carol for something she clearly

didn't like clearly didn't do well she brought it up on the bravo blogs um someone put a link to the bravo blogs for us and i read a little bit of it i mean carol really goes off it's like six pages which i don't need i don't need that. I'm not reading that much about Housewives. Sorry. But she did mention slander in that. So we'll see. Well, the thing is also that is funny is that Aviva doesn't understand, I think, what Carol is trying to say, which is that for 20 years she's been writing. Even though it has not been as a book, she's been writing columns. She's writing this or that. And you do develop a voice.

And then the next step is you go to a book. And then Av is just like oh i'm gonna just write a book so it's a natural question to say oh are you gonna have a ghost writer someone who's experienced in taking your thoughts or whatever and like and and writing it and uh and aviva is shocked that that anyone would expect her to have a ghost writer and yet then she immediately goes and accuses car of having a ghostwriter. I mean, it's totally bonkers. And on top of that, Aviva keeps on saying over and over again to defend herself. She keeps saying, well, you know, it takes a village to write a book. And the fact that Carol says she doesn't have a ghostwriter is ridiculous.

But then in the same breath, she talks about how she doesn't have a ghostwriter. So how can you do this whole village thing and then act like you're writing it alone? That thing, that pissed me off so much just the it takes a village to write a book takes a village to like first of all you aren't a writer you aren't in this industry at all so the idea that you're talking about it like you are was so so frustrating and then the idea that she keeps bandying around this phrase i just kept screaming it doesn't take a village to write a book it takes a village perhaps to produce a book, but there's one writer. Stop saying that. Stop it right now.

You've never written anything Aviva. Bravo blogs do not count in a literary career. And also like a village raising a child, that never works out well either. What happened to all these working parents? Look at your children. They're stealing cars. I don't think I've actually ever encountered a child that was raised by an entire village.

And I think it probably wouldn't turn out as well as people say. Well, is it just the one child in the village that the village is raising? Those made me curious. So is the village raising a lot of children? Because then I feel like that's just a village with parents raising their children. And have you looked around your village lately? Because my village has homeless people screaming at the sky and pooping on the sidewalk in front of you like anger pooping at me yeah it'd be a church like i don't want a

single child who's been raised solely by los angeles yeah maybe maybe in like a little village somewhere i'd want to see that child at like an exhibit of some kind i wouldn't want to take my child but if somebody else let los angeles raise their child i'd certainly be interested in seeing that in, like, you know, an art installation. I feel like children raised by villages are, like, the kids on The Pioneer Woman, and those kids creep me out. The Pioneer Woman, that cooking show?

Oh my god, they're all homeschooled. On the ranch. Isn't that that country singer and Garth Brooks' wife? No, that's the Trisha Yearwood. Okay, every single show on Food Network is like a country, down-home, southern-south cooking thing, you know? So I understand why you get confused. But the pioneer lady,

or pioneer woman, I forget what it is, she had a blog, and now she has a show. And basically, she has all these homeschooled kids, and they run from the Baptists on Sunday, and her husband only eats steak. Oh, good. I mean, how many different ways do you need to know how to mash a potato those stupid southern shows are all the same it's like we're gonna make some fried chicken and cornbread it's like you've made that 20 times

make something else no we need more ina garden clones well in a garden it's like i don't need to see more pork loin either you know they all takeloin over grits yeah me too i'm really hungry right now i know i'm starving i haven't had lunch by the way you know i feel like i'm very transparent on this podcast today like i'm hungry i think i'm actually hangry this is a hangry podcast um so what else about real housewives of new york so book gate is going to be the fight obviously that lasts the whole season and I'm so glad to have a fight of actual substance because usually it's like you didn't come to my tea party

and that's the fight of the whole season so I'm actually glad that it's going to be something good and I'm glad that Carol's ready to kick some ass especially with her voice how could you say I had a ghost writer I wrote it myself awful bitch I'm glad that she talked to you. How could you say I had a ghostwriter? I wrote it myself. How could you?

You're an awful bitch. I'm my own ghostwriter. People work so hard to be writers. We work for years and hone our craft. It's like your last book was about dry vaginas like lubing up to do old guys. Shut up. And I wrote it.

It's The Widow's Guide to Ghostwriting. Yeah. This ain't't fucking i'm trying to think of a classic book and i can't this ain't tell the two cities okay lady i was gonna make this ain't charlotte bronte but that doesn't even make sense this isn't the bronte sisters this isn't ethan frome It's somewhere in the 21st century. As a matter of fact. I was watching, before Real Housewives of New York started again, they were showing all of last season. I have little bugs up there.

What are those things? Fruit fly. But I don't, oh, maybe because I'm a fruit. But they were showing a clip, I mean, they were showing the last episode, I guess, and it was when Carol was reading the beginning of her book at that book party. And she's like, this is

the story of a vagina. A dry, dry raisin of a vagina that found love again with a little water put on top of it. This book is gross. I don't want to read this book. What I love about this whole BookG gate thing is that they did flash back to

the season premiere last season when Aviva so above and beyond kissed Carol's ass. I mean, she just went out of control to say how much she loved, loved this book. And now she hears one rumor from this publishing house and she's passing on like facts. Like if you love this writer and this is your friend,

wouldn't you sort of say, well, that's probably not true? I mean, you have to also question the credibility of this publishing house. They're saying that they rejected Carol's book, and Carol's saying there was a bidding war. Maybe the publishing house has some sour grapes. Isn't that, like, a possibility? Well, yeah.

Well, what they're saying on the blog is that there was a bidding war. They didn't bid high enough, so they lost it. And also, Bill is Carol's editor. He's not a ghostwriter. So basically, Aviva completely misconstrued an entire story. They basically probably said, yeah, Bill did a lot of editing on that.

Someone probably made a remark, just a casual remark, like, yeah, he practically wrote it because he probably was editing so much. And next thing you know, Aviva's off and running with this ghostwriter thing she's a damn moron i think the thing i like most about this fight is that carol actually has no pun intended a leg to stand on i feel like yes in so many of these i feel like it's so many of these fights like the person who is actually angry is angry over something so ridiculous carol is like no shut the fuck up.

You don't know what you're talking about. This is industry standard. Like what, what she, Aviva is so egregiously wrong in what she is saying that Carol is flabbergasted and actually pissed and has good reason to be. Like, I loved watching it. It's like, oh my God, you're in the right. And you actually have a brain and you're intelligent. This is so bad.

Well, you know, it's like, it's so rare that Carol that carol actually you know is it gets mad and gets into a fight i don't think she got into a fight all of last season and now and i don't think she's doing this because she's like oh season two i better step it up she's in a fight like you said because she's just totally flabbergasted and she cannot believe this craziness it's delicious but my favorite part was when heather told aviva what's your book gonna be about about? Your leg? Yeah. You need a book. Because when people aren't famous, I mean, who's going to read their book? It's like, and then Aviva's like, listen, Heather, if I needed fat people's shapewear advice, I'll ask you.

Yeah. But that being said, like, since when is Aviva an authority on writing books? Meaning that's, like, that's the logic that Aviva is using. That, like, Heather is the authority on squeeze wear and that Aviva is now the authority on writing. Next season, Aviva will come out with, like, a line of saran wrap that you can wrap around your waist and she'll start telling Heather, like, how to run her business. By the way, just so you all know, there's something weird going on with my Skype, and sometimes when you guys are talking, I can't hear it. So if I talk over you, I apologize. Oh, it's okay. Well, hopefully you're cutting out on our end, and people are just hearing

us, and then just some pauses. Maybe we're just all talking all at once, just like one of these Housewife fights. Yeah. You didn't come to my party! You didn't come to my party! You didn't come to my party! You didn't come to my party! You know what? By the way, you know what I love about Bookgate? It somehow makes me feel very cultured. Yeah. I'm like, oh, I'm watching people, like, fight about literary things.

New York is the most cultured of the shows, I will say, so this is completely appropriate. Yeah. I mean, I feel smarter now. Smarter and stupider at the same time. I'm about the same. I watched Atlanta for the first time last night, so now I now i'm and then but i also watched new york so i feel like i got a little dumber and a little smarter so i'm about equalized i'm so glad this podcast will now take it all away i love that the the bar is so low that we're we feel smarter just by listening to someone talk about writing like none of us are actually reading anything it's just all about like hearing people talk about books i'm like super smart they talk about books on something we watch did you how do you guys feel about kristen thus far because i

kind of i kind of want to like take her home and make her my new pet she's really adorable she reminds me of a sweet little kitten funny rabbit kind of thing she's so earnest i am a big fan of her so far i think she's great yeah i love her too and i love her already because in the preview they keep showing ramona apologizing to her for throwing a wine glass in her face and she's like i'm really glad you apologized ramona because otherwise you would be a monster and then just ramona's face while she's chugging wine it makes it makes her one of my favorites i believe in kristin's head like she thinks chugging wine. It makes her one of my favorites. I believe in Kristen's head. Like, she thinks that if Ramona hadn't apologized, Ramona would have transformed, like, grown some horns, turned green, and become an actual monster. Would you be surprised?

Would you be surprised if I turn into a monster? I'm a businesswoman, and there's a big business in monsters. Disney makes movies about them. My mother always said, you always have to be your own monster, because you can't be reliant on another man to be your monster for you. I love her. Well, you know, Aviva's telling everybody that you didn't write your own book. Talk to her! Calm down!

By the way, one other thing about Bookgate that I forgot to mention. I absolutely loved when Aviva did the whole you're up here and I'm down here and Carol completely said that Kelly Ben Simone was her ghostwriter. I was like, oh snap, a Kelly Ben Simone zing. It made me very happy. I actually fist pumped when that happened in my apartment alone.

Well, was she saying she wasn't saying, she was saying that she felt like Carol was acting that way towards her, right? Yeah, exactly't saying she was saying that she felt like carol was acting that way towards her right yeah exactly yeah and then carol interviewed that she was like really kelly benson like maybe kelly benson we've all heard that one before it was great it made me happy it made me realize how great the new york city franchise is although they did show the previews for next week and it's Ramona crying about her fucking daughter going to college.

I know. I'm so over it. Bravo. We don't care. Stop trying to make us think these ladies are youthful enough to know their kid is going to college. It's ridiculous. Yeah, I know. I'm sick of watching the kids go to college. I'm sick of watching the spray tanning, which happened this episode, and I'm sick of watching the vagina waxing, which I'm sure will happen

in about three weeks. When Kristen actually said, as she is damn near buff naked, ass hanging out on national television, says, I feel like I'm on display. I get this strange feeling that people are watching me. Well, she's used to the cameras, but Sonia's literally standing there

licking her chops like she's about to eat a cub. It's like a hyena about to eat the little baby lion. Like, Kristen, you're right to be creeped out, but not for the reasons that you are creeped out. Well, Sonia is basically a horny old bat. And as evidenced by the fact that she calls her interns in and she's in this very skimpy piece of lingerie

and she's asking to look like, yeah, it looks good on me, right? It looks good. I mean, that would be sexual harassment in many situations i wrote in my notes god i hope that it turns gay but i know he's not um i'm sorry i'm reading the facebook comments now that you're getting in trouble on there i am yeah um so what else from new york so we get to see harry this season harry's gonna be on a lot that old fucking bag bonin half of new york city with his plugs hanging out i kind of fell in love with him this episode my god when these standards go that low i mean those women that keep themselves together why don't the men have to keep themselves together that guy looks like he's just he looks

like an unfinished um what do you call those things where you like sew pictures into like a cloth? Needlepoint. He looks like an unfinished needlepoint. It's like it's gonna say home sweet home but nobody's finished it yet. I thought he looked like a slightly deflated bag of laundry. Okay, so what else happened on this stupid show? Oh oh aviva's son has a living room for a bedroom

yeah that was very peculiar to me i kept waiting for her to be like this is your room haha just kidding it's the den but they never said that so i'm like do you does your child no longer need a bed is he so glued to like television and video games you were like fuck it we'll just get him a couch well what would you do if aviva was your mother? I'd be glued to something, too. Shut her down. Perish the thought. I'd be glued to a pipe. Oddly enough, her whole new townhouse kind of reminded me of Alex and Simon's townhouse

in Brooklyn. Yes! Because townhouses in New York all kind of look the same. They're just like big, old, narrow, and too expensive. Slightly falling apart, always mid-remodel. And I thought it was very strange that at her housewarming party, she set up a bar in her bedroom. Yeah, and that appeared to be where guests entered and were hanging out.

And that whole exchange with Ramona and Mario and Reed and Harry and everybody on Aviva's bed talking about how they've all slept together. Even Ramona said that was uncomfortable. Yeah. I know it's weird. I Ramona said that was uncomfortable. Yeah. I know it's weird. I was just trying to ignore the whole thing. I was staring at Aviva's lamps, which, incidentally, I did like. Her apartment reminded me of Jill Zarin's when Jill redecorated.

Oh, my goodness. It can't even be that bad. It was pretty loud. It was pretty loud. So what else happened on there? I feel like there's one other thing, but I can't remember. Well, let's see. Let's go through the women. Kristen didn't really do

anything this week. She just... I guess Heather, there was talk about Heather and Kristen and their babies, and Carol got mad at Aviva, and Aviva spread gossip, and Sonia went on dates. So I guess not that much happened. It was mainly Bookgate. And it was pretty good. I think Bookgate pretty much

carried the episode. Yeah, that was a really lovely start. I like that. I think one of my favorite Kristen moments was when she very sweetly tried to tell Ramona, like, listen, you know, I really think that Carol wrote her book. Like her name is on the bottom of it and nobody else's name is next to hers. goes listen you don't have time you don't have to like nobody's name has to be in the bottom it doesn't mean it had me a ghost right it's a ghost right you don't see the name you don't see the name I like when Ramona someone offered Ramona like an hors d'oeuvre and she's like no that's what I do for a living

and I was like oh that would have really hurt my feelings I know that's what I was thinking like whenever if I don't want an hors d'oeuvre, which is never, but if on the rare chance that I had passed up, I'm like, oh, no, thank you. But she was like, no, no, no. And she, like, literally waved her hand, like, get it away. I'm far too busy. Far too busy. Can't take the hors d'oeuvre.

I'm too busy for this. Let us talk about Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Oh, the reunion The reunion Why does this need to be three hours long And why were they talking to Kim Richards so much She didn't do anything The whole year

It was so painful When they just do the montage of Kooky Kim And it began and it was really funny And then as it progressed it just got like Sadder and sadder that this is sober Kim And the faces at the bottom got more and more uncomfortable until she they did the fall out the chair thing and kyle was just there and like so embarrassed i had to look away yeah i love that that montage fall fall another scene falling i'm not crying i can't falling it's like oh my god

there's your there's your evidence in any case against you in a dui trial i'm sorry i like you cut out there for a moment so if there was like an awkward silence that's i'll blame that on my Skype. It was. I think you're just sitting there reading the Facebook page now. I think, to me, it was like an hour of just frustration of watching the poor logic of all these women. Brandy's sitting there just being a totally immature bitch, which is not unlike us. But she's doing it on TV, which I think is somehow worse.

And they're going after everyone. And Yolanda also is on her high horse. It really bothered me that when Yolanda was talking about when she had a beef with Kim, and she's like, well, you know, I was at the class, and I wanted to talk about things,

and Kim didn't want to talk about it, and that's just what I like to do. I like to talk about things. I like to get it out right then and there and then they show they cut to like yolanda's friendship a video montage of yolanda's friendship splintering with lisa and you see lisa at gg's graduation i mean uh going away party is talking about trying to like get things okay with kyle and carlton and yolanda's like no not at gg's party this is not what we do. We don't do this here. I'm like, so which is it, bitch? Do you like to talk it out or do you not like to talk it out? Clearly, if it happens

at Gigi's birthday party, it's like you're not allowed to talk it out. No, she and Brandy have the exact same way of talking things out. They just talk really loud until you can't say anything, and if you do say anything, they just criticize you and roll their eyes. Like, that's how they fight. With absolutely no basis in

logic my favorite was the like well you lived in calabasas i paid 99 he lived in calabasas academy is a new scripted podcast that follows ava richards played by hbo's industries my harold a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat or be eaten world ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top 10, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends

to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee.

What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. think about when they hear the words black history rosa parks reconstruction mlk february black history exactly exactly there are so many stories of black history that we just are not really talking about or thinking about especially outside of february and we are about to flip the script on all of that because on this show you're gonna hear a little less. In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some. As a fighter for black rights, she is a villain to others.

Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th. Or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Black is beautiful. Well, we've owned properties there. No, I paid $9.99. You live in Calabasas.

Let's just let it ride. And I love that Andy was like, well, what's wrong with Calabasas? The Kardashians live there, and Will and Jado live there. Calabasas is really she-she. Justin Bieber just moved out of Calabasas. I know. It's really nice. And Lisa's like, the point isn't that, you know, she's like, that's not the point.

The point is it's a stupid lie. Like, why even make up the lie in the first place? And when Andy jumped on the bandwagon with that, I was just like, it's just that she didn't live there. It's not that she has anything against Calabasas. It's just that she didn't. It's not that she has anything against Calabasas. It's just that she didn't. Well, then Brandy started to backpedal and say, well, it's just the reason why it bothers me is because every time she comes to visit me, she always is like, oh, I need a passport to go to the Valley.

And I think we talked about this last week. You know, it's like that. Well, Brandy always jokes about how she's going to sleep with Ken, which is a far worse joke. And Lisa brushes it off. So it's funny that, like, all of a sudden, Lisa's not allowed to make jokes about the valley. And you know what? Even if you had lived in the valley, if you live far away from the valley now, I think you're still entitled to make the passport joke. It's okay.

Well, and as if Brandy, if she could fucking afford to live in the basin, as if she would not make those jokes all day long if she had to visit somebody in the valley, she would be joking about that like nobody's business. Please, Brandy can't even live in, like, the good Valley. She's probably in, like, that next Valley, you know,

because there's, like, the Valley and there's the Valley behind the Valley. That's probably where she is. She's like Rosita. Yeah. Or Chatsworth. The thing, you know, the other thing that really pissed me off is that Brandy is just too stupid to even form a real argument. She doesn't even know what she's arguing about

or why she's arguing about it. She's just squealing and acting like a dumb bitch like this particular one she's like you know she's she makes that thing about you made a joke about coming to visit me in the valley and lisa's like uh yeah well you make jokes at me all the time that's kind of the point like what about you saying my husband is gonna die before we renew our vows i didn't get mad and then brandy's like yeah well you thought that was funny. She's thinking Lisa's getting mad at it. And the point is that she never got mad at it, you dumb bitch.

I know. I want to fight for them. I want to walk into the TV and just sit there and do Andy Cohen's friggin' job for him and just be like, listen, this is what she's saying. This is what you're saying. I know. Every single show on Bravo, I want to do that. Every single time there's a fight i'm like if you all would just use your words properly you could fix this oh my god i just

came up with the best idea what housewives larping what real housewives larping do you guys know what larping is no oh my goodness i will do that in a second live action role playing like it's basically like dungeons and dragons but you get dressed up and you actually act like you're in a Dungeons and Dragons game. Oh my god, no. I am seeking out a highly patterned dress as we speak. Oh god. I'm seeking out a hotel that has a conference room that we can

borrow. I'm seeking out some Pinot Grigio that I can throw. I'm seeking out some really, really, really big platforms. I'm seeking out a gun to shoot my fucking self in the head, because I've had enough of this life. I'm seeking out a toaster oven, really big platforms. I'm seeking out a gun to shoot my fucking self in the head because I've had enough of this life. I'm seeking out a toaster oven on which to do a photo shoot. So what else from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills? I want to get back to this joking issue because, to be fair, I know people say that sometimes we're too nice to Lisa.

Lisa. To be fair, she also was a little ridiculous because at one point, I think there was a question of, can Lisa dish it? Lisa can dish it, but she can't take it, which is kind of true. And Lisa, on this point, her way of defending herself was by showing that she actually cannot

take it. And then she's like, well, I guess I'll just never tell another joke again for the rest of my life. It's like, no, Lisa, Lisa, it's not, they're not saying that. They're just saying, just admit that you can dish it. You just can't take it. That's all. That's all you have to say.

Or at least just admit it to end the argument. I mean, my argument, I mean, just to be pro-Lisa, because I know people are probably not getting sick of that at all, but Lisa has never come on and complained about somebody saying something that hurt her feelings. Never. And once in four years, she's never said, oh, that hurt my feelings. The only thing that she ever talked about was the thing where they were faking a faint.

And no one said anything to her in a fun way about that. They came up and literally accused her of faking it. Like no one, no one made a joke that she didn't take well. You know what I mean? It's not like she took some joke incorrectly. That's not what happened. Kyle and Kim got together to film an entire fucking scene, because they have no lives of their own, watching in Kyle's

stupid screening room just to call her a fucking liar about it. And then the way it was brought up to her was at some lunch when Brandy came up and said, well, everyone's saying you faked it. I mean, there was no joke that Lisa didn't take the right way. And what was terrible about that, too, well, not terrible, but what was annoying about that was that Brandy acts like she's just a messenger.

But then, you know, the scene right before that they showed in just this montage, Brandy is the one instigating that conversation in the limo. And then she's like, oh, well, you know, there was talk about this. Like, no, you were talking about it, Brandy. Well, I think that's what you guys have been touching on for the past couple of episodes, too, is that Brandy has single-handedly torpedoed her own relationship with Lisa in some ridiculous effort to get more screen time or to take Lisa's place as head bitch, whatever. And it's just, it shows.

It's so completely baseless. Lisa has done nothing to Brandy. She's looking for reasons to complain. There's really no, there's no real reason their friendship should be over except for the fact that brandy somehow wants to overtake lisa in her imagination it makes absolutely no sense yeah she's stupid that's why brandy is still yeah you're stupid you're stupid yeah brandy's just too stupid to to even fight and that's you have to be able to fight on the housewives show but apparently she's so hated that she is um going to keep her job there's no rumors of her getting fired there's like a big petition going around to

get her fired online um which just basically means that she will keep her job for the next 10 years you know and you know what she's you know what you know she hates that too she probably hates everyone that everyone hates her because she totally thought as you as you just said she totally thought she was gonna be like beloved you know and because especially because she was like the past two seasons but now she's crossed that line and it's hard to come back up do you cross that line i think only camille grammar camille grammar is really the only one who went from really being despised universally to being being you know adored i think you have to start that way i don't think you can start like brandy did as this as a very sympathetic character and to be like i really liked her the first season because she was you

know she'd just been totally blindsided by eddie sibry and she came on and she was blindsided by kim and kyle and she was just sort of like okay i'm just gonna chill out and hang out with lisa and now she started to believe her own hype to the extent that she actually thinks she is a worthwhile person for writing a book called drinking and tweeting and that she has anything to offer other than the fact that she was a scorned woman. And that's dangerous, dangerous territory. And by the way, that book was ghostwritten. Yes. Just for the record.

Oh, back to New York though. Heather kept saying that Carol wrote her book. It was on the New York times bestseller list. And all I could keep, all I kept thinking was so was Brandy's book. Stop saying thank you for helping Heather but you're not helping yeah so is like every rip-off Twilight book that comes out or every book written for old ladies to finger themselves you know like some sex fantasy that's written by like some fanfic fat lady online okay it doesn't take much to be a best line a bestseller right now in the book section and also aren't there like multiple lists on the New York Times bestseller't there like multiple lists on the new york

times bestseller list there are multiple lists so like the billboard there's like the billboard hot 100 and the billboard like top r&b charts and this and that i feel like there are multiple um new york times book lists so to to get on to to say they're on the bestseller list could actually be quite deceiving um someone sent marcia sent in this tweet to us uh that she saw online from brandy glanville on twitter oh obviously i said tweet sorry i'm reading and thinking at the same time which i can't do uh it says lb could barbecue a baby and people would think it was cute so yeah she is upset that everybody still likes lisa because she just cannot win it's like if you go after lisa for something legit

okay but and there are plenty of legit things like we've said in the past to go after lisa for that people could get behind you but yeah you're just too stupid to come up with a really solid plan you're terrible at this just quit just stop yeah absolutely well and she's sort of proving her own point about lisa being this machiavellian chess master and the thing is, all Lisa is doing is not really being that, she's not really being that, I don't know what the word I'm looking for is. She's not really being that Machiavellian. She is simply just not engaging. She's behaving like an adult when everybody else around her is behaving like a toddler.

So to them, it looks like she's this just mastermind, you know, puppet master. When really she's just like, no, I'm not going to engage you with anything. Yeah, it's like she's the only one who's not a fucking idiot like what i mean just watching her reactions was hysterical because at first i was worried because i was like oh no she's coming in here as a victim i do not need this like please don't do this because at first she was like well what about them being mean to me darling i was like oh no but then through the rest of the episode i don't know if someone told her to be a victim or what and she just couldn't do it because it's just not her personality yeah

and she just sat there giving people the most hilarious looks and when when people would you know especially brandy when she would just say these stupid things lisa didn't even try and argue she just looked at her like you're so stupid like i can't i'm not even gonna argue with this it doesn't make any sense she's finally letting brandy dig her own grave she's finally like stop taking the shovel away from her stop taking the wine away from her and said all right fine you can exactly and if brandy had a brain which she obviously does not have she's spent all this time being like oh well lisa's the master manipulator but now i'm fighting back and i refuse to be manipulated well as you

just said and she's basically letting Brandy, you know, dig her own grave, which perhaps that is the master manipulation of all. Cause now Brandy is more hated than ever before. So in her attempt to rid herself of the manipulation, she may have just fallen right into it. Yeah. But Brandy, I think, I think Brandy is kind of embracing being the villain, right?

No, I think cause she's, she, because she's not. You know why? Because Brandy is the type that she wants acceptance. She wants to be popular. It's what's driven her all along. That's why she's crass and crude because she's insecure and she lashes out when she feels like she is being marginalized. She wants to be

the prom queen and she never will be because, I don't know, she was raised in a trailer somewhere. But I think that's I don't think she's truly embracing it. She might be acting like she's embracing it, but she's not. Well, she's not smart enough to play the game. She's not smart enough to be a villain and understand why it's a good thing and how to make it work

for her and how to become popular sort of fucking with other people. She's just not smart enough. Yeah, Aviva, now there's a villain. I mean, that woman, she goes for the gut. She goes for the throat. And she's really funny about it. And I still kind of like her just because she's so fun to watch.

Brandy is just stupid. She's not fun to watch. No, and everything, like I said before, like the fact that she's torpedoing her relationship with Lisa in an effort to give herself some kind of storyline. It's so obvious that it's boring. It's just... Exactly. I think there's... I agree.

To make the Aviva comparison, or even Ramona, there is something sort of thrilling about these loose cannons just exploding and going nuts. Because you know it's coming from a place of true craziness, whereas from Brandy, it is sort of

more self-serving, and it comes from a bratty place. It comes from a spoiled place. It comes from an ungrateful place. And that's not, that's not fun to watch. I think the one who's really trying to be the master manipulator and failing miserably is Kyle. I mean, it's so obvious. Kyle just sits there at the reunion and stays silent and just watches everybody else lob the, you know, lob the bombs that she's put in the cannon. And it's so funny. Like, we all know that you're the one who told Randy that Lisa was bankrupt and lived in Calabasas. That was stupid.

We all know that you were talking shit about Lisa in Paris with Yolanda, which you were the one who let everybody know that. We know that you've been the one trying to turn everybody against them. Well, sorry, honey. The only person that you can control is your idiot sister twitch that's the only person unless you're in a boxing ring in which case all of twitch's unresolved anger will come out you might be in a little bit

of danger meanwhile yolanda i enjoyed yolanda's list of grievances which centered around the fact that lisa hadn't visited her when she was bedridden with Lyme disease. And I like that Lisa was like, well, actually I came to, I spent a whole day with you. I did this. I did that. I did that.

I called you. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And you know, it's like, well, oh, well. I only used 5% of my brain last year. Well, you know, my brain doesn't work. And sometimes I'm irritable, but you know, that's it. Well, I was writing the recap for that this week. And I remember someone posting a tweet. i put on our facebook page someone please send

me a screenshot of that tweet and they did it maggie and taylor both put it so thank you guys but it said this is a yolanda tweet lisa and i see each other outside of the show and our friendship and mutual respect for one another has continued to grow which rhymes which is amazing both brandy and lisa visited many times and have shown me great support during these past worst eight months of my life. So which is it, bitch? Because this was just written less than a year ago about how supportive Lisa is

and how many times she's come to see you. Lisa just put that on a sign for the next part of the reunion. Just put that on a little sign and every time Yolanda starts yapping about whether or not she's her Hollywood friend or her real friend, Lisa just hold up that little sign with the little tweet on it and just not say anything. Oh, poor Yolanda trying so hard to have a fucking storyline when she has nothing except fucking some rich ugly dude. You know, that Yolanda, okay, she's been fighting with bloggers online, which is so funny.

Like, you're really going to fight with bloggers? We're just like, we're sitting at home making jokes. Like, if you're so above it, fly above the haters, stupid haters stupid she's getting in fights on twitter blocking people left and right one of her fans and i know this because her name is yolanda fan and she's from the netherlands has come on to my youtube page because of i guess how i don't even know why she's so oh because i was on uh stupid housewives post my videos sometimes you know because that's like a friendly blog and that's a controversial blog that yolanda's fighting with so i'm posted on there so now all stupid housewives haters are coming to like hate me too and this stupid girl from the netherlands

yolanda's fan i have this picture i have to pull it up so i can quote it properly comes on my youtube page and comments well first of all she went on all of my videos and made stupid comments. And I was like, who is YolandaFan? Why is she watching Survivor videos? So then she comments on my YouTube page and it says, fag equals fat, angry, gay.

Fuck you. And that is such a typical YolandaFan. Stupid. Just fucking stupid. That's terrible. Stupid and ignorant. Bye. Fanned youanda fan. Stupid. Just fucking stupid. That's terrible. Stupid and ignorant. Bye. Fanned you. Bye. Stupid.

This rarely happens to me, but I'm speechless. God, how fucking ridiculous. The internet's full of lovely, loveliness. The internet is full of trolls. I mean, I guess technically we are kind of trolls, because we're trolling these women, but the trolls get so much worse than we are. We're not trolling. We're commenting're we're making jokes and having fun these people are not like i'm not going to kim's personal facebook page and being like you're stupid drunk you know

like and i don't even i don't even feel that way about it you know i'm just making fun of her on tv but by the way i love i love by the way, like her backpedaling. We're just like, you know, Brandy, she's too stupid to do this. She's a brat. Oh, it's just joking. It's just fun. Well, yeah, but if we're making good jokes about it, that's different than just like saying stupid shit. I think also, I would also like to say this too,

that I always feel like when we get really like intense about this and we're like you know i also would like to qualify that we are reacting pretty much to essentially characters that we see on tv you know because i think that i think with all three of us we do realize that even though the lines are blurred that there's a difference between real life and what we see on tv you know yeah and i feel And I feel, for some reason, compelled to say that. I want to untroll myself.

Well, um, did either of you guys watch Watch What Happens last night? No, because Time Warner cut off my fucking TV. Um, Carol, I love Carol and will continue to love Carol, but she went down the rabbit hole a little bit last night. She got very, like, she, Annie Cohen

asked her about the Aviva thing, obviously, and she went off on a huge rant about it. She's like, listen, I understand that, like, she, Andy Cohen asked her about the Aviva thing, obviously, and she went off on a huge rant about it. She's like, listen, I understand that, like, she's like, I understand that we fight and all this kind of stuff, but I signed up to do a reality show, okay? And this is just ridiculous. Like, this is just, you know,

this is completely made up and stupid, and I just, you know, I want things to be accurate because I signed up for a reality show, not a fiction. I was just like, do you know, do you watch reality television? I do not remember it's like as long as they're as long as they're alluded as long as they're allowed to just come on and promote their stupid products they're okay with it but when it when it becomes you know

something that they're not happy with suddenly they start complaining it's like when addy was saying during that real housewives of orange county 100th episode or whatever that was when he said that he's like vicky was calling calling me at the beginning trying to get me to take things off the internet. And I had to explain to her, like, you can't take things off the internet. That's not how it works. Which, of course, Bravo does try and sue everybody and take everything off the internet, by the way. But I thought that was pretty funny. But yeah, it's like, Carol, deal with it, babe.

You're on a show about catty women ripping each other to shreds and you had no problem doing it to anybody else last year so all of these i feel like there's the cycle of housewives and i'm sure you guys have talked about this before but like first season it's okay and then second season like first season there are a lot of them kind of trying like i'm gonna be above the drama and i'm not gonna get involved and then by the second and third season they are right in the mud with the rest of the pigs and it's just you cannot you can't do this and expect to keep your hands clean. You're either going to be boring or you are going to just go right down the rabbit hole with the rest of them. I think Lisa and I think maybe Leia, I feel like, are a few of the only two who have managed to really straddle that fence and get down and dirty occasionally, but maintain some semblance of sanity and integrity.

Yeah, absolutely. Because they don't take it that seriously. And Carol, too. You know, Carol, you know, the rant on Watch What Happens, that seems a little silly. She should not take that as seriously. But I think, you know, at the same time, I mean, this is her career. And it is funny that Aviva would even say, like,

you think you're John Grisham. I'm like, well, you know what, Carol? Carol was on Oprah. That makes her John Grisham. Well, wasn't she on Oprah for different reasons, though? I thought it was to promote her book. I thought she was on Oprah when

that plane crash happened or whatever. No, I think it was to talk about her book. Yeah, I don't know. A her book um yeah I don't know I don't watch Oprah sorry all I know is that Carol was on Oprah Aviva was not and that's it end of story

yeah Aviva was on Harry that's enough to discredit Aviva forever in my eyes wait so any other noteworthy things happen on this reunion? There's Joyce. Joyce got into it a little bit. Yeah, I was just going to say, one of the most fun things was, A, Yolanda going on and on about nothing, about her Lyme disease. Like, shut up, Yolanda.

Yolanda's making Lyme disease at this point, in my mind, Lyme disease is equal to chicken pox. Like, that's how much she's annoying me. At this point, I'm like like stop complaining about having a cold and my disease is actually a really serious disease yolanda has over touted it so much or over complained so much that i'm like oh stop complaining it's the mumps take some pills if she had spent half of her screen time actually just being like hey this is what lyme disease is like this is what i had it really sucks if she had spent half of the screen time she spent with frigging Gigi putting together a damn dorm room

and painting tiles for her. I would have been like, oh my gosh, Yolanda, like, thank you for telling me about Lyme disease. It sucks that you had that. Get well soon. But no, I had to watch Gigi like 24-7. And the only real argument that Yolanda had

where she was really getting to show off her true C-wordiness was with Joyce when she was, when, and this is another thing they're only fighting about blogs because they don't have anything on the show to talk about. So it's what they write after that they're actually fighting about, which is kind of meta and hilarious.

Yeah. But, um, she made some con wait, what was the comment? It was something about the parties. Joyce, Joyce said,

Joyce said that, said that Yolanda was a bad hostess for doing that dream team thing. And she said that she was a retaliation against Yolanda because Yolanda said that Joyce was a bad hostess for not getting in the pool. And that's what children do. They get back

at each other by, you know. But yeah, Joyce was Yolanda. Wait. And by by the way i would like to defend joyce in this in this instance if i may do i have the floor sure uh i'm gonna say that i don't think it was childish what joyce said because i think what joyce was saying was hey you said i was a bad host for not getting in the pool but actually what an example of a bad host is to put like to make part of your guests feel unwelcome. That's a bad host.

I think that's what she was saying. It wasn't like I used to know I was a bad host, so I'm calling you a bad host. It wasn't like that. It was a clarification on what it really is to be a bad hostess. That's all. Also, what she was saying was the party she was referring to was the painting party. She was saying that Yolanda was having them all come to her mansion and her lemon grove and blah, blah, blah. And she was making everybody else feel like they were lower than her.

I was like, whatever, but I don't know. Just poor Joyce. Like no one even listens to her. She sits over there and starts yapping. And then Yolanda shuts her down and Brandy just, Brandy and Yolanda both just talk over her, talk over her, talk over her. And speaking of, and by the way I love that Yolanda calls Joyce a child

for what Joyce wrote in the blog and yet here comes Brandy being like oh you look like a figure skater why don't you go back to the Olympics like that's actually like so beyond catty that truly is teasing that's taunting that is childish

that if anything else everyone like, you know, everyone always says, oh, you're bullying me, you're bullying me. That is an example of anything closely resembling schoolyard bullying, you know? Being like, oh, you look like you're a figure skater. Why don't you go to Sochi? You know, like, I'm like, and then Yolanda's silent.

Well, and like, vintage brandy was the dumbest insult that you could possibly give somebody. And like, all jokes, like, all of this aside, that outfit was terrible. It was terrible. It was terrible. It was really, it looked like something my ice skating Barbie wore. But that aside, Brandy, all Brandy is doing is making Joyce smell like a frigging rose. And she is going to kick herself next season when Joyce is, like if Joyce is back, and I kind of hope she is.

Because she came off looking pretty good this season. Joyce is like if Joyce is back and I kind of hope she is because she came off looking pretty good this season and Brandy is just victimizing her and victimizing her just the way she was victimized on her first season that made her look really good like absolutely absolutely like I don't I don't mind Joyce anymore like in the beginning I was like oh she's so fake and the whole thing she had with the hair flipping it's so stupid but by the end of season I'm like you know what compared to these other stupid bitches I am sort of on Joyce's side. Yeah. I never thought I would say that because I used to call her, I used to call her Karen to Rosie.

She reminded me of Karen Sear and Gretchen Rossi. But she just really, really bugged me. But now I'm just sort of like, Brandy is being such a cunty bitch to her that I'm just like, girl, all you. I'm on your team. If Joyce didn't have that initial thing of the hair flick with Lisa, I just thought that was the dumbest thing ever, and I just can't get it out of my mind. Like, I'm not, I can't be a Joyce

fan. She's too stupid for me, too. I mean, and by the way, I believe Joyce. When Joyce says that Brandy called her up and says, you should do this, you should do that, you should do this to Lisa. You know, I believe Joyce in that situation, not Brandy. Yeah, I do too. I don't think Joyce is a liar. I just think she's a dumb-dumb. Yeah, believe that because brandy thinks that's what lisa's doing

like brandy in her head lisa is being you know like we said this master manipulator so of course she's just her only defense is i'm just gonna do it right back to you so she's calling around everybody and telling them what to say yeah yeah um well one of my favorite things this week are the rumors that are swirling around that faye Resnick is going to join the cast next year. Now, Faye refused to come back on the show this year because she was so ripped apart last year for going against Brandy. And, I mean, they were so rude to her on the internet, including us, because she's a stupid bitch. Oh, yeah. And she was just doing Kyle's handiwork.

But now that Brandy is the big villain, they want someone to come in and take down Brand down brandy because you know lisa's not going to lisa doesn't give a shit she'll just stop inviting brandy over for for desserts you know in the morning yeah she's like no no tea party for you darling you're not going to get one of my cucumber sandwiches rosia worked all night on these but um yeah they're gonna have to bring someone in because kyle's too much of a wuss as we just saw kyle's already against brandy, and she's not going to say anything because she doesn't want to get squealed at. Kim's probably going to be fired. As we saw, someone mentioned Kim. Kim's probably not going to be aware of the fact that she's fired.

Yeah, she'll be like, hey, everybody. She'll still be polishing picture frames in her house and making grilled chicken salad. She'll be at Costco doing interviews, thinking that she's doing interviews for the show. She's talking to the sample lady being like, I just had that. I didn't think that was nice. She'll cut out and do her own interviews. Like, wow, you know, that sample lady, I just thought she was pretty rude.

I don't know about you. Chicken salad. Hey, that chicken salad lady just missed me. But what was I talking about? Brandy. Oh, yeah. So they need somebody to come in and take down brandy and the only one with the balls literal probably literally balls to do it is ms faye resnick and she's also got about as much class as brandy and she's probably also as

good as writing books so i i don't I don't know how to feel about this, because I don't think, I really don't think I have viscerally, in reality, hated someone on a reality show as much as I really detest Faye Resnick. I mean, she just makes me ill with how, just who she is, her personality, her history. I just really can't stand her.

Well, she became famous by, you know. But that would be amazing. She became famous by exploiting the fact that her best friend got murdered, so. In, like i mean yeah she's morally corrupt she is the morally corrupt faye resnick i don't know why i bothered searching for a different phrase she is morally corrupt so like that said i think she would be an amazing addition yeah yeah faye resnick does not annoy me and piss me off as much as everyone else in the world. I mean, I don't like her.

But, like, people really... Like you said, you have a visceral reaction against her. I don't have that against her. But I think that she's just, like, you know, she's stupid. Well, not stupid, but she's just annoying. You know, but I would totally welcome her back on the show. Even if she wasn't a horrible human being and deserves to get hit by a Mack truck for all the nasty shit she's pulled in her life,

I would hate her for the simple fact that as a remodeler, decorator, she paints Wicker white and charges people millions of dollars. That's not okay. And isn't capable of remodeling her own face appropriately. Yeah. Move the couch over the nose. So,

are we done with Beverly Hills? I think so. Because we still got a month of this bullshit. So let's move on to Atlanta. The ladies in Atlanta are not disappointing this year. They are going to town every single week. They've got something going on. And even our newest housewife, Uncle Ben, Peter.

He was my favorite is really making his effort to roll around the mud with the other bitches and you gotta love that and he always acts like he's not in fact when he and Apollo and Todd went to some cigar bar in the resort he was like

just how these ladies get up into yapping and yapping, the guy's gotta talk too I'm like don't act like it's just the ladies who are yapping. You were the one who started up with Portia last week, mister. And you don't have to. Like, nobody's sitting there making you sit there and gossip. Like, yeah. You don't have to.

Stop saying that. Not only that, he said that. And then he starts immediately talking about Apollo wanting to fuck Kenya. It's like, what the hell, dude? But Apollo, okay. So all the guys are sitting down there talking. Well, first of all, we got to see them go look at these caves, and they were all afraid of anything.

And by the way, my favorite part of the entire episode is that when Kenya says, we're going to be going to caves, which are like underground caverns. Yes, I remember that, too. I think we're pretty well aware of what caves are. I think caverns are underground too. Caves might be short for caverns.

Call me crazy. Yeah, so part of it was just... I know there is technically a difference between caves and caverns, but I don't think the delineation is that one is above ground and one is below ground. Yeah, I think they're pretty closely related enough that you could probably interchange those words and nobody would be confused. Yeah, I think if you said we're going to go to the caves, we'd pretty much have a good idea of geographically where we're going

vis-a-vis above ground and below ground. I have to say, watching them wear hard hats, I got really upset because I went, I guess, spelunking or a tour of some big cave in Arizona, and nobody gave us hard hats. And now I'm wondering just how much danger I was in with my family a couple of years ago. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

I would think some of those weaves could act family a couple of years ago. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I would think some of those weaves could act like a hard hat. That's a good point. I'm sorry. Someone commented we should look at the Bravo blogs this week because they're really funny. But, oh, damn it. I don't want to read them all. And I didn't pre-read them. It's okay.

We don't have to read the Bravo blogs this week. We'll read them next week. Okay. Sorry, everybody. I just, I'm reading this book called the fault in our stars and it's about kids with cancer so i'm sorry i didn't read the bravo tv blogs all right i'm making an effort in actual literature it's okay alex and i are going to spend the rest of the podcast talking about caves and caverns but you know what there is a character

in there who's missing a leg and of course i was like poor aviva i fell for aviva she could have died in a cave the last time i tried to like get myself back into reading was when i like caved and bought a bunch of soap opera oh my god you just use cave when you cavern when you cap you know caverning it's like when you cave into something but underground but what did you what books did you get uh i don't know that they could be termed books but soap opera digest and the abc version of soap opera weekly i used to general hospital i like i bought oreos a frozen pizza i was really impressed i put oreos a frozen pizza and a bunch of soap opera magazines and then i read them in like 15 minutes because you know soap opera magazines yeah i was really bored i used to subscribe to soap opera digest because I used to be a huge NBC soap fan days of our lives another world

Sunset Beach Passions and BC had the best opening they have the best opening music with another world world had a great a great credit And so did Sunset Beach. It was almost serious Sunset Beach was the beginning of Eddie Cimri on I mean, that's what I know and also the other spelling kid. Oh, yeah, Eric Spellent. God bless him. Was he the midget?

No. No, the midget died. No, that was on Passions, too. The midget died. Passions I loved because all the guys were always shirtless and muscular. I could not love Passions. And also because Hayley Mill's sister was on there as the witch. Really had everything. I would have been like Hayley Mill's sister mill's sister like oh you just get ugly and bitter huh oh my god i love soap operas well there has to be a way to somehow combine the worlds of passions

with the real housewives of atlanta oh yeah we just need a little magic on that show magic and some guys were shirtless that looked good. I guess Apollo can do that. Was it Phaedra? Phaedra, I'm sorry. I apologize, listeners. I watched it later for the first time last night.

I'm trying to keep up with who's here, but Phaedra and somebody else were in the pool talking about how they were having none of this shaman business about fertility.

They only need Jesus Christ. Nobody else but Jesus Christ. Uh-uh. They keep asking me to go, but I guess they didn't ask me this time because they knew I'd say no. I got Jesus.

Yeah, that was Portia. Okay. All I need is to be Jesusified. It's like, shut up. But yeah, Portia, and I love that they're talking about how into Jesus they are while slamming everybody. Oh my God.

Boosing it up in really slutty bikinis. Yeah. Name of the Father, name of the Son, name of the father name of the son name of the holy ghost um so yeah they're still in mexico and it was a pretty fun i mean i just laughed the whole time on this show i love this show but the big fight was actually with kenya and apollo because apollo apollo's kind of a brandy glanville when he fights he just he doesn't know anything he just kind of yaps stupidly in a really high-pitched voice and doesn't say anything clearly terrified of his wife clearly what wouldn't you be she's like a crime lord oh my god when she came like bumbling up

those stairs and like what is he doing talking to her yeah oh god i'm actually i'm actually a little nervous okay you should be she can get you through the TV. But yeah, he was, so Kenya confronted him and of course started out with five tequila shots and then acted like she was going to flirt with him and give him a lap dance, which is the only reason he went to talk to her alone. Oh, absolutely. And then she's like basically said, all this stuff you've been saying about me trying to get you to a hotel room and boning you, that's all a lie. Just admit that it's a lie because you were making me look stupid.

And meanwhile, this comes on the heels of her spending 10 minutes of air time trying to get him out of his chair to go to the bar yes but it was to tell you know it was to have this scene so she could be vindicated on national tv because he's been lying about her supposedly which i believe her actually well and he, and he never actually admitted to lying, so all of this is for naught, and now Phaedra's in the mix, so it's just going to be ugly for the next, like, 20 minutes of the next episode. Well, they hate each other anyway, so yay. But, yeah, she...

I mean, he kind of did admit it, because he said... He said yes to everything she was saying. He was just saying, I could get in your pants if I wanted to. I could. I could do that. I could get in your pants if I wanted to. I could. I could do that. I could get in your pants if I wanted to. It's kind of why Portia and my

Apollo were the same. But I think they're very similar. Nuances. I think they're fairly similar. But yeah, he was just like, well, I could get in your pants. Like, oh no. Apollo. But even if

he did lie about this and start spreading rumors about her, she's inviting it every step of the way, prancing around in her bikini, asking him to get into the cave, into the pond in the cave with her in the spring. The cave spring. The cave spring. Asking him to do that, constantly

trying to get screen time with him. She's totally puppet mastering this as well. I mean, it's completely... with him. She's totally puppet mastering this as well. I mean, it's completely... Like, stop complaining. He's spreading rumors. You're... I know, it's like a fine line.

She's like, yes, I've tried to bone you a million times, but at least I didn't text you to come screw me in a hotel. It's like, oh, okay. You're totally glassy now. Yeah. You're up here, and then minusculely he's down there. He's down there in the cave. In the cavernous.

In her lady cave. That's something you need a hard hat for. Also, another hilarious... Yeah, there are a lot of stalactites and stalagmites in there. Another hilarious part of this to me... Some hot springs. It wasn't supposed to be hilarious, but speaking of dried out old caves that are never going to reproduce anything ever again, let's talk about Kenya's

dark, cold, bat-infested bat cave. Rat poop covered cave. Cavernous cave. Guano. Guano covered ovaries. I have never more believed the

statement, black don't crack crack than when I was watching this whole conversation and she was like, well, I met a guy when I was 35 and wanted to have kids and I was like, how the fuck old are you now? She looks amazing. She looks damn good. She's nearing 50, I think.

Thomas Ravenel. I think she's like 43, 44. I'm going to look this up. Kenya Moore age. I really liked that segment to be honest. Yeah, I did too to be honest too. I'm going to be honest as well. I'm going to one up your honesty with my honesty.

Let's just hold hands and be honest together, Ben. It'll be great. Let's go into a cave of honesty. Yeah, she's 43 years old. I'm going to blow some smoke in your face. I think the whole thing is hilarious because she's getting a shaman to make her pregnant. And it's like, honey, I mean, I didn't know she was 43. I thought she was nearing 50. But look, how old are we going to get and still try and have babies?

I think we all need, as a society, need to draw a line. You know, my parents are obnoxious and they had me young. And they're old enough now that they're already making me crazy. I could only imagine if they had me when they were like 50. I mean, now they'd be, I don't want to be cleaning up your poop when I'm in the best times of my life. Like I should be a senior citizen when I have to clean up your poop. Does that make any sense? Like you're having these kids, but then you're putting them in the bad position of having to take care of you at way too young of an age. Stop it. Just adopt older children. I know.

I mean, look at Aviva, by the way. Aviva looks like she's pushing 50, and she's got like a two-year-old kid. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, how did that happen? Was that natural? I don't want to know.

Aviva and sex, I just... Maybe there was a ghostwriter. I'm looking at... We're looking at how old Kenya Moore is, and it has the ages of three other house wives beneath her nini 46 candy 37 and kim zolciak 35 and kim zolciak looks so much older than kenya kim zolciak meanwhile is turning out baby after baby like she eats like a cheeto and gets pregnant every baby is like a down payment it's like another 10 years of money that she has with this dude so she's like she gets like five. Yeah, but they're saying that she's already

broke. I mean, Kim Zolciak spends so much more money than they make. Like, he's not one of those football players who makes like $12 million a year. No, Real Housewives is his only endorsement. Yeah, he's like a blue-collar football player. I think he's injured too.

He's injured? He was injured last season and I wonder if he got dropped by the Falcons I don't know I will look it up yeah there's something weird going on there but she's spending too much money and that girl needs to save her money and stop having babies

there's no such thing as saving money in Atlanta well not at that house she's ridiculous okay so what else happened on atlanta that real good baby crap i was not buying because she she needs to stop that she doesn't even have a man that she doesn't have to hire to show up i i noticed that the decor in atlanta is really similar to the decor in orange county yes it is but that was like very a lot of prefabricated design going on like there's a lot of granite countertops and roosters, like roosters in the kitchen.

From a sociological perspective. It's called, it's called new money. Yeah. Yep. New money in a smaller city than Los Angeles or New York. New money, old caves. And also the similar to the kitchens on Real Housewives of New Jersey, actually, if you think about it. No, I mean, seriously, with the Real Housewives, you have New Jersey, Atlanta, and Orange County are all

the super new money. Those are people who are not like... They're able to buy McMansions. Well, actually, they're all going to jail for fucking robbing people to buy McMansions. There's some sketchiness about it. Maybe they don't even really own those homes. And then you have New York and Beverly Hills where there's real money. New York is closer

to old money than Beverly Hills. And then Miami also. I think there's real money in Miami. It's sort of, Miami is a little bit of everything, you know,

because I think Leah Black, Leah Black for sure is real money. And I think Adriana, well, she's like a fraud. And then, you know, I don she's like a fraud. And then, you know, I don't know where Marisol lands, where she lands, but definitely

Jersey, Atlanta, Orange County, hardcore new money. Well, I think it's interesting, too, because New York is still, New York is still, it's got to be fairly new money because no old money New Yorker is going to go on a reality show. Absolutely. Yeah, I agree. But Beverly Hills is new money. We have the old money, I agree. But Beverly Hills is new money.

And Beverly Hills is new money, but it's like, Los Angeles new money is its own beast. Like, Los Angeles invented new money with actual money. So they are just a whole different, they're just a whole different breed of society. Yeah, and Los Angeles isn't worried

about, like, passing that money on to, you know, they're like, adopt a few Africans, you know, do some drugs, we'll be dead by the time we're 35 anyway let's party yeah i think the difference between new york old the new york money and the beverly hills money that we see is that beverly hills they're they're big new money they have a lot of money and it's new and they're also the top i mean there are there is definitely some old money out here they're like pasadena whatever there's some huge money some people with old stores of money but it's basically like they're new money and they're the top whereas in new york

what we're seeing is relatively new money and they but they hang with old money that we don't see i feel like you know they're not in the old money circle but they hang with the old money that we don't see, I feel like. You know, they're not in the old money circle, but they hang with the old money circle. Which might be a great segue into Southern Charm, which is definitely old money. Oh yeah, that is old money. It's also old men trying to get into young panties. It certainly is.

You know, I can't believe Thomas Ravenel is 50, though. I know when you look at him, it does make sense that he's 50, but he actually dresses very youthfully that I thought he was like 40. And he uses youthful drugs as well. He really does. He found the fountain of youth, and it's in cocaine. That was what really shocked me about it. When I read that he was 50, my jaw dropped, first of all.

But then what really shocked me, I was like, there's no way you started doing drugs when you were in your 40s. He's been doing this easily for 30 years and how the fuck do you drink and do coke for 30 years and look like that i know i mean he really looks young he sleeps a lot you know penelope cruz sleeps like 16 hours a day she said in some interview and that's how she stays so young i do that it's not working i know i i sleep a lot too i look like shit you know i i i find actually that thomas ravenel is a very interesting character to watch because his life is his life is fairly complex it sort of looks simple because he just sits around on

a boat and fishes and drinks but like to come from that much money and to come from that name and that that pedigree and to be 50 and there's like just he's basically still acting like a 20 year old. It's but you know that there's all this pressure on him. I find it fascinating. I think I loved his conversation with Shep on the boat this week when he when Shep basically was like, dude, I understand that you want to still be in politics, but you did a bunch of blow. And Charlestonians do not like that. Like, have you thought about maybe going in a different direction? And he was just like, no, this city's in my blood. I love it. I want to be in politics, and shit,

what else can happen to me at this point? I've been to prison, and I've lost my reputation, so I might as well just keep going, and this is what I want to do. And it was really impressive. I was like, oh, alright. It was impressive, but I think what he failed to realize is that you can always rebuild your reputation. And being on this reality show is not doing him any favors.

I mean, Marion Barry was reelected into office. So if he can do it, so can this guy. So can T-Rab. Well, I think that's what he's counting on. He's just going to be the bad boy and help they elect him that way. But my favorite way is how he phrased that. When he was like, they've already taken my reputation. They've already taken my reputation they've already taken my freedom it's like they did not take it okay like yeah you were funneling drug money through

the treasury office like that's that's not you were not some victim and also how long did you serve not long like you're totally fine you still have your mansions and your money like i'm really sick of rich people like being victims of shit when they get caught doing illegal crap. Like, I'm not going to feel bad for you, stupid. Like, you just built a polo field that cost a million dollars so you could feel better. Please. I love that he, I think my favorite part of his, whenever he gets off on a tangent about, you know, what he's gone through, he's like, I did my time. I did my time. He's like, no, no, no, honey, you did 10 months. And

then somebody else did the rest of your time. Yeah, no kidding. Not time. You did 10 months in a prison with a bocce ball court. Okay. Yeah. A poor person would have done like, would still be in there. They die in there. Well, also, I mean, he's running on, I think with the, he wants to run with the Libertarian Party because he's a Libertarian, right? And I'm just going to assume, I don't know this as a fact, but I'm just going to assume that he's probably banned from the Republican Party. So there's no way, I'm sorry,

there's no way as a Libertarian he's going to win anything. So he should just give up. Well, and the only things that he can run for because he is a felon are, is the Senate, the House of Representatives, and the presidency. So unless he's one of two major parties, I don't really, I don't really see his

future. And also, I don't remember the last time a Bravo star ever had any political, any political wins. Oddly enough, MTV, yes. Bravo, no. Well, I think Arnold Schwarzenegger, even though he wasn't a reality star, he was a really cheesy action star. And I think that he's kind of opened the door to really stupid people getting into office. Well, you know, the thing is this, oddly enough, I enjoy the idea of a candidate having a completely honest, you know, relationship with the people being like, this is what I did, whatever. And this is what I believe. And I don't care what you think about my reputation. I just want to get the job done. Because that's so refreshing than the canned responses that you hear from every politician. So for me personally, I would actually

rather enjoy watching Thomas Ravenel run for major office. But realistically, it's just, it's never going to happen. How is he going to be able to defend himself when they show him, like, waking up in bed with the Barbie of the Senate or whatever that girl is, Catherine, or how transparent his motives are for getting into a relationship with someone. He pretty much only wants to get married

for his political career. How are you going to be able to defend that on a large scale? And by the way, I also love that I'm actually discussing this like I'm on the McLaughlin group, like this is going to go somewhere. I that on a large scale. And by the way, I also love that I'm actually discussing this like I'm on McLaughlin Group. This is going to go somewhere. I take it just as seriously, especially since I'm

recapping it, so I'm intimately acquainted with all these people and care about them like they're my real friends. I cannot wait to go to Charleston this summer because my mom and I are going to take a trip together and had planned to do so before I started recapping this, and I'm writing down restaurants to go to. I want to go so badly after this show.

This place makes me, this show makes me really want to go to Charleston. It's part of, it's my favorite part of the show is just seeing like the exteriors and the different homes and stuff because I'm a geek for that. I'm very Cameron about architecture and real estate.

I love Cameron. I loved her on The Real World and I love her on this show too. Yeah. Yeah, she's super cute. I like that girl. What about the girl who's like supposedly some punk who is obviously living off some rich guy and the assistant girl who's like an idiot and hilarious yeah she's like hey well how do you

afford this how do you pay for this house she's like with my bank account how do you pay for your house she's like yeah but like what do you do she knows, with my bank account? How do you pay for your house? She's like, yeah, but like, what do you do? No, she goes, from working, what do you do? She's like, um, investments. She's like, investments? But like, what does that mean? Like, you invest in

things? She's like, yeah, I invest in things. I invest in dick, like, old rich dick. It was the blind fighting with the blind. It was so funny. I make a penis deposit into my vaginal bank and money comes out. I, um, basically between Jenna, that's her name, Jenna, Jenna and Whitney, the two of them are trying so hard to be like alternative and like cool and like non-Charleston, but

they just look like idiots because that's not the way anyone outside of charleston looks no and it's also not if anybody who really wants to live in like the fringes of society like that's the charlestonian version of the fringes of society the actual fringes of society involve way more grease and way more tattoos like yeah exactly i'd like to see those two like go to silver lake and and and like survive an afternoon act like they didn't look like they belong in beverly hills yeah yeah exactly they'd be like a thrift shop well i never um i'm very happy that bravo wedged in a tiny little moment with whitney's mom because i'm like obsessed with this woman i've liked i've done significant amounts of research on pat

first i love that her name is pat let's just it all begins and ends there honestly but then she's she reminds me of what designing women like that i feel like she was the inspiration for designing women oh yeah she's she's she's julia sugar baker she's like she's all enrolled into one wait who's the mom which mom who's mom pat whitney's mom with the pink pistol and the gay personal chef. Oh, when you said Whitney, I'm like, what girl have we seen their mom? But I forgot that. Whitney is the boy with Chuck Bassett haircut. The balding wig.

Yeah. The balding wig. The guy who's like trying to be hip and cool. Who, by the way, only hangs out with girls. Yeah. I mean, not saying anything about that, but. He lives with his mother. I called him Norman Bates Capote.

Like true Norman Bates Capote for the first time. That sounds about right. Yeah, his mom is the best. And I love that... I don't like it. I don't like it. Let me say it again. I do not like her.

I don't like her. I don't like her. I don't like her. Isn't that a little out of your realm? Freak. I just love, you know, honestly, she could be doing nothing. Just when she was reading about her Birkin bag that came through, she was just like,

this is a pink Birkin bag, exclusive to it. I'm like, go on, just speak. Possibly the rarest and most difficult to find Birkin bag. I don't even want to imitate her because there's just no, I can't even come close. I hope her chef, her gay chef, realizes that he has pretty much the best job

in the country. That he gets to hang out with her all day long. I think that's why he's so damn happy. Yeah, he is really happy. He's really happy. He's really gay. Yeah. Really gay. Super gay. And both the happy and the gay. And the fact that Whitney is around us 24-7 and has nothing but girlfriends

makes you wonder. We'll bet. Well, the best thing in Southern Charm is coming next week because that red-headed little hoe that Ravenel hooked up with on the first night that they met apparently went and hooked up with one of his friends like the next night

or something. A couple days later. And now she's telling off Ravenel for not giving her enough respect. It's like, bitch, you slept with him after knowing him for two hours and then you slept

with his best friend like the next day. How much respect exactly do you think you're gonna get? And I mean, you dye your hair red. That's just like a no-no in Charleston.

That's not, that's magenta. Like, who do you think you are? Jenna? Being all crazy and alternative and like it like all like like a like a fringe of society yeah what are you an artist but you're like an independent voice um so she is saying that she could be pregnant and that is going to be hilarious because that is so as derek hazelton put it on our page that is so old school soap opera being ripped off. Who's the daddy?

Do you guys remember the days of our live storyline when it was Stefano and John and John Black and it was was it Kristen's baby? Yeah it was Kristen you are main main main. It was Kristen's like stupid twin. Susan. You are main Kristen.

God bless Eileen Davidson. And she would have these delusions that Elvis was the baby's dad. And Elvis would come on and sing to the baby. God, I love that. I miss that show. And her teeth got smaller when she put in her first song. And got bigger when she took it out. Sorry.

I'm sorry. Anyone who watches Days of Our Lives is going to love that. But the rest of you, sorry. So that's going to be great next week. Something I wanted to bring up was people are asking on our Facebook page

about this American male, this dating rituals of the American male and why we aren't covering it. Okay. If you want us to,

I guess we'll watch it. But here's why I'm not. I watched it with Ben and 15 minutes into it, I was like, no, I can't. No. No, bye. I actually left his house. I was like, bye.

It was fun to see you. He actually. Have fun watching the rest of this bullshit. He disappeared. We were eating pizza, and he was just like, see ya. Yeah, I was like, bye. Good to hang out with you. I'm not subjecting myself to this.

So I thought it was stupid. But everybody is apparently really loving it. And I guess the point is that they're supposed to be douchey and hilarious. But I don't know. I watched the rest of the episode this week, actually. I took a week off before finishing the episode. You know, I did enjoy it. I felt like it was fake, though.

I mean, it felt very stagey. But, you know, I liked it. Am I compelled to go watch it again? Not really. I like that Bravo, I think, with Southern Charm and with this show, Bravo is actually getting a little bit more male-centric. Like, there are, like, not necessarily in its demographics, but in who's actually on the show.

Yeah. I mean, Tom got so much attention on Vanderpump Rules, and the cast of Southern Charm is 42 men to women and the men get far more attention. And this show is about straight males and is basically populated by straight males. It's not women interviewing them essentially, right?

Hopefully Bravo is realizing something that I think that the Bravo viewers like their women to be older and fussy and they like their men to be younger and hot and that's all you have to do because when there's younger women on Bravo it's always like these vapid women get them off my screen you know older men you're like these old farts get them off my screen but you switch it

around what did you think about the blood, Sweat, and Heals finale? It was fine. It was like everything else in the series, which was that it was leading up to something explosive, and then they kind of dealt with it in a semi-mature way, and it kind of fizzled out. I mean, I still like the show. I'm holding out hope that it'll be better next season. I love the way the show began.

I was a big fan. And then it kind of fizzled out over the course of the season. The reunion looks great, though. They're going to have a reunion for that show? Did that reunion take place on Watch What Happens? The reunion was, I think it's in the Bravo Clubhouse, as they say. Right, because that's what they did for Vanderpump Rules the first year. Their reunion, I think, was...

No, it was for, not for Vanderpump Rules, it was for Above Deck. Oh, yeah, that's right. Below Deck. Yeah. It was the deck show. I'm so excited to come back as well. I don't really watch Below Deck. I don't watch Maids.

But what was I going to say about Blood, Sweat, and Heals? I don't know what they're going to have a reunion about. Bitch, you are drunk. Just say, I'm a sloppy drunk. Sorry sorry i splashed my vagina at your office party and end it why do you you cannot just use your dead dad it's like her lyme disease like that is not an excuse for everything just stop it i agree i i'm a big fan of uh micah i think she's hilarious and i think that she's more in the right in this uh in general i like her side more than the other side but i think Brie was right.

I mean, when Brie says, you know what, my opinion is that you're a sloppy drunk, I think Micah has to accept that that's a reality. You might not be an alcoholic, but you are a sloppy drunk. And you have to realize that when you're a sloppy drunk, you're going to piss off people, regardless of what's happening in your personal life. And then those girls, her friends were standing up for her

and saying, you shouldn't be calling her a drunk. That's name calling. Yeah, I thought that was, I thought they were defending her. You're right. They defended her. And then she's like, I felt alone. My friends didn't even defend me. And then now she's mad at them.

It's like, shut up. No one needs to defend you. You know who's going to defend you when you're pulled over? Nobody. Some lawyer from the back of a bus. Because you're going to fail your fucking drunk driving test because you're a drunk. So just say you're a drunk and be okay with it. Look at the mom on Southern Charm. she's a drunk and we love her it's like just be okay with who

you are and it'll be okay but this denial and blaming shit on your dead dad is just stupid i that whole show and daisy your wig and you're wearing a sun hat at night okay yeah whole show i mean just daisy daisy annoys me a little bit but you know i don't know i think the show has potential i think it started off really strongly and then it kind of like ended on a whimper and this little dinner on a boat was like whatevs yeah I don't know about that show

they're not even friends with each other and they don't want to be friends with each other so it's like I don't really see how this one's gonna do anything unless they recast the whole thing it's not like a married to medicine where you knew it was faked, but at least they all went there. You know, they all made an effort to make it work.

And it looks like even, like, Jackie, Dr. Jackie, this season's gonna get into it with someone. Yeah, she's like, well, I know you call yourself a doctor when you're just a dentist. And the girl's like, a dentist is a doctor! It's like, your name is Harmony no one or it's

like something like harmony or symphony it's like no one is gonna listen to anything you have to say okay harmony by the way speaking of blood sweat and heels did anyone see the uh micah's performance of her song about turkey bacon no because remember in the season premiere of this show yeah like the very first almost one of the first things that we saw was like micah in bed being like i want some turkey bacon i want some turkey bacon like she did this like song that was actually really funny so now she's turned it into like a dance song and at the reunion she sings it she has like these two shirtless dancers singing along with her it's it's sad well i like that everybody's really learned to celebrate the sadness

and this real housewives award is about to ruin the entire franchise. Because now they're all going to be fighting on purpose, trying to win a stupid award on Watch What Happens Live. Oh my god, that's next weekend, isn't it? Yeah, we're going to have to watch that. Yeah, we will. Alright, we're... So yeah, you guys, watch it. I think it's on the 23rd. So we'll be watching that that but we need to wrap up

it is time to gah it's time to gah so thank you guys for listening you can find us on Facebook at facebook.com slash watch what crappens and on Twitter at what crappens you can find me Ronnie Karam at Ronnie Karam on Twitter or at Trash Tweet TV for all of the writers recaps on Trash Talk

TV.com you can find Ben at B-Sweet TV for all of the writers recaps on Trash Talk TV dot com. You can find Ben at B-Side Blog on all the good social media outlets or at B-Side Blog dot com for really funny recaps. And you can find Alex at ALF August at Twitter. Yeah. And she's also recapping

she's recapping Southern Charm at Trash Talk TV. Please watch Southern Charm, y'all. The ratings are not great. I'm really worried about it, but it's such a good show. I'm a big fan. And by the way, do like us on Facebook, and I promise I won't snap at you. I just am very hangry today.

Hangry. Be nice to me, too, because it's my first time. Good luck with that, Alex. We love you guys. We love all you have to say we do we actually really do yeah thanks for being here and thank you for hanging us out hanging out with us on our facebook page too we have a lot of fun with you today there's like 35 comments on there about stuff to talk about on the show and i think we got i think we got all of them i think we did except this one i'll end with this one from diane

can we talk about aviva and her home elevator like does she have someone on her staff to hold her hand every time she uses it does reed have to stay home to help her maybe there are signs on every floor saying rah rah aviva you did it thank you guys for posting on there and we will talk to you next week. Bye! Bye! If you like listening to comedy try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the Sideshow Network have launched a new YouTube channel called

Wait For It. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts Todd Glass, Liza Schleichinger. Schleichinger, I've been friends with her for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there and I still have a hard time with the last, Liza Schleichinger. Schleichinger, I've been friends with her for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there, and I still have a hard time with the last name, Liza. Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me,

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