Watch What Crappens - #121: Don't Be a Bitch, It Hurts Being Dropped, I'm the Hostess!

Episode Date: April 2, 2014

It's a very special all Housewives episode to celebrate the return of our old, fabulous, gorgeous co-host Matt Whitfield (YahooTV). He's back to dish with Ronnie Karam (TrashTalkTV) about the end of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, the near end of Real Housewives of Atlanta, and the beautiful start of Real Housewives of New York. And of course we talk about Kenya Moore getting served and Bethenny's possible return to the network. Come on in! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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ends 295 because it's $2.95 for whatever you're going to buy. Well, it has to be a new.com or transfer. I just got that. I'm glad you explained it. So original. Why don't you just start a website about how original that deal is? So everyone, godaddy.com WWC2952.95,

and you get a new or transfer.com for the low price of $2.95. Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crappens, the podcast about all the crap we'd love to talk about on Bravo. I'm Ronnie Karam from Trash Talk TV, and this week, Ben Mandelker from B-Side Blog is gone. He is climbing hills in the Adirondacks trying to get in shape and help African orphans. But we have a special guest today. It is the return of Matthew Whitfield from Yahoo Television. Hello, Matthew.

Hey, Ronnie. Hey, everybody listening. I'm glad to be back. I feel like Luann. I've been downgraded, but I'm still part of the cast. You downgraded yourself. And I would also like to point out that Luann did not sign her contract quickly enough. And that's why the bitch was downgraded. Luckily, we don't have contracts here at Watch What Crappens.

We can just make up the rules as we go. You did not pay your Skype bill, basically. That's our contract. So we've missed you. So you need to explain to everybody where the hell you went matt there was no goodbye there was no um big clip episode in the end there was no lost footage episode to say goodbye to you you were like a you were like a housewife you just disappeared no one mentioned you ever again i twirled right out of the scene kind of

like quinn from season three of Real Housewives of Orange County. She just disappeared. I'm not wearing a wig like she likes to wear when she popped back on to that weird special one time. But anyway, work just got really, really crazy. I got a promotion, so I had to bust my butt here at the office for a few months to make it happen. And so that all turned out well for me but um who knows what the future holds and as i told you ronnie i'm second ago i am i'm a free agent now and i'm available to return and i would love to return for some oc the ogs vicky gunvalson

and tamra barney no one hates them more than me and hopefully i can uh make a few more cameo appearances in the next few months. Hell yeah. Especially if you do it like the classy Luann. Because that was a classy return appearance by Mr. Luann this week. I am wearing a statement necklace made of nothing but turquoise from my native ancestors. That you borrowed from some designer that somebody else knew. Exactly. Okay, so before we talk about that let us discuss some bravo gossip do you have any well i want to first talk about uh bethany frankel because i do

believe that i am still one of the the few fans that she has and as you guys know or the majority of you know her talk show was canceled it's still going to run probably through May or June. But there are some rumors out this week that Bethany is in talks for a new reality show. Bravo is obviously her home. They helped make her brand. And Andy Cohen now with his new role at Bravo doing more development and producing is in talks with Bethany to bring her back. Are you interested in seeing more Bethany on Bravo? I thought Andy's deal was that he was going to just be hosting his show and he was taking a step down from producing. He's taking a step down from the corporate world at Bravo and the programming part and putting himself more as a producer of original content and trying to move in that direction a la Ryan Seacrest.

But a gay Seacrest or a gayer Seacrest. No, I was going to say. With a cute little beagle that he posts on Instagram all the time. And I want to hate him, but I can't because I love him and that damn dog. But anyway, so he's talking to Bethany now about bringing her back to Bravo. And one of the reports I read last week or a few days ago was saying that if Bethany wants to come back to Bravo, they're going to put in her contract that she is obligated to appear on Real Housewives of New York City

at least a few times. And they were also saying that part of her contract could be that she would sub for Andy on Watch What Happens Live when he's on vacation with John Mayer in Montana, like where he is right now.

And we're not getting any gossip after these major shows. And I don't know. I think she'd be a great fit. And I miss her. Yeah, I think she would be good at that. I don't know. I think she'd be a great fit and I miss her. Yeah, I think she would be good at that. I don't know if I want to see another show about Bethany. I mean, okay, the first one was Bethany is single or something. And then the second one was, oh, Bethany is engaged.

And then there was Bethany's getting married. And then there's Bethany's having a baby. And now it's just going to be I've alienated everybody in my life. And now I'm back to the beginning well okay so we know she's a little crazy crazy always makes for good tv super crazy makes for really good bravo tv and with Jason Hoppy still living in their like six million dollar house with her and she now has this new boyfriend that sometimes she's staying at his house sometimes she's staying at the same you know marital abode with Jason. That baby's growing up.

Probably is going to be completely messed up. I don't know. I still feel like there are more stories to come out of her. I mean she's crazy and she has a wicked mouth. Yeah, I like her on The Housewives when she's just kind of normal and bitching about all the other crazy people because I don't think she's crazy. What really started bugging me about Bethany is just her whole belief in her own hype. What really started bugging me about Bethany is just her whole belief in her own hype. It really bugged me, especially, you know, watching her show after she got famous, surrounded by all these ass kissers.

And she's just like, oh, you know, I work so hard. All I do is work. I work. I'm so busy. I'm so important. Well, she cashed in. So she cashed in. So how great would it be now if she just returns to New York and instead of being like that struggling like natural food chef and yes I'm using uh air quotes around natural food chef she could come back and actually be like yeah I have 60 million in the bank suck it I'm up here you're down here Sonia

Morgan oh yeah well I mean the New York cast I mean they're all pretty poor Ramona's gonna go through a divorce she's not gonna have. That modeling work and her husband seems stressed out and he can't even afford plugs. Who else is on that show? We'll get to New York in a second because I am hating that cast so hardcore right now. You are? I love it. I feel like they're manna from heaven. They're wrinkly, leathered manna falling out of heaven.

It needs such a recasting, meaning the return of Alex, Jill, Kelly, and Bethany next year. I'm just putting it out there. Oh, gross. I love Jill Zarin. They're like, did you know that Bethany got stopped for a speeding ticket? And she's like, I'm on Good Morning America

talking about it. It's like, shut up, Jill Zarin. Back the fuck off, bitch. Get in the backseat where you belong. She will never stop fighting. She will never shut up. And It's like, shut up, Jalzarin. Back the fuck off, bitch. Get in the back seat where you belong. She will never stop fighting. She will never shut up. And she's like, oh, hi. Oh, yeah, it's Christmas. Happy Christmas, everybody. I just wanted you to know that Bravo's begging me to come back, but I wouldn't come back

for a million dollars. Hold on, that might be Bravo. Click. Like a bitch. Okay, so we'll get to them later. Yeah, we'll get to them in a minute. So probably... Oh, no, you go. them later. Yeah, we'll get to them in a minute. So probably... Oh, no, you go. You go. No, you go.

No, because I forgot that you're such a good gossip host. I really liked when you used to be like, okay, here's the shit for the week that we're going to talk about. Well, here's the other crazy thing. So, you guys, I also was burning out on reality TV, and it was just killing me. You know, after a summer of watching Big Brother nonstop and Big Brother After Dark and all of these Bravo shows, I just, I had gotten to a breaking point. Did we also talk about what happened

with the People's Couch on here or not really? Yeah, we did. Okay, so I was also pissed because they didn't choose the three of us for the People's Couch and I was kind of like, F Bravo, I'm done. I hate these bitches. And they hired some like pretty young little model boys that are really obnoxious and that show sucks and we would have made it so much better so I was just kind of like over Bravo it really I'm not gonna lie it kind of crushed my

ego a bit and I was just feeling sad for the three of us and that's you know when I disappear but that's you know what I do in my personal relationships too and that's why I'm still single but anyway sidebar I was just thinking you thinking I hadn't watched any Bravo for like six months. And this past weekend, I did nothing but mainline this shit and I have missed it so much. And I totally – I watched like nine episodes of Atlanta and I need to know everything about what you think that went down between Portia and Kenya at the reunion. Apparently there was a weave snatching brawl. 911 was called. And I just, I think that's why Andy had to go to Montana to relax. Okay. A couple things. First of all, that people's couch thing and your ego being crushed. That was not you. I'm fat. Okay. That was the reason for that. Also, your ego was crushed because you work for a big blog that you get paid a good living to work

at, so you have an ego. Me and Ben are independent bloggers, which means we're pathetic and sad, and our ego was crushed a long time ago, and that's why we're still independent bloggers. So, I think maybe we just got over it more quickly. Also, if that thing had happened, we would

have been taping that shit in your house nine hours a week, and you would have been overing that shit in your house nine hours a week. And you would have been over it. It was for like $10 an hour. Did you tell these people that we actually shot a pilot in my living room? I let strangers with cameras come step on my rug and touch my stuff. And I am like a neat freak psychopath. And that man was sweating on my dining room chairs. Oh, my God.

That producer guy. Okay. So he, after we left here okay first of all what we're talking about is those are actually shot in these people's homes there's not like a set that they just sit on or whatever like you actually have to have a home and you can't be renting so that leaves me and ben out i mean what am i gonna shoot in the park i'm like okay i'll meet you at you know i'll meet you in front of Target at that Starbucks and we'll shoot there. No, you can't do that.

You have to own someplace. So, of course, that leaves, like, the only choice was yours. And you were such a good sport about it. But it was hilarious going into your house because, A, you have a room that's already a green room, which I love. I can imagine what you're doing in that. And, B, you have this, like, cloth wallpaper. It's not cloth. What is that cloth you have this like cloth wallpaper it's not cloth what is that called it's like grass wallpaper or something yeah it's a textured grass wallpaper and it's so nice and these bravo producers just came stomping stomping through that place and dragging shit

across your your wallpaper and you were already gonna kill them and that was just for the pilot so it probably worked out because you know i'm at because of course ben's like well are we getting paid thirty thousand dollars and getting top billing on bravo it's like no we're not and then you're like but are they going to buy me a new house when this is done and i'm just like i'll just be on tv i'll do whatever you want i'll be on the commercial we were all definitely coming from from different places there um i don't think that we were a unified front when it all went down but um i will say like i used to give people like the kardashians a lot of shit where it's like oh that's just the set they're using and that big

mansion in calabasas is not really where they live i get it these producers ruin your houses i need to have a set just for a reality show they have no respect and. We should hate all these housewives and shit that we talk about. Well, I guess we do. We should hate them because they really ruin it for everybody else. They work for hardly any money. They let cameras traipse through their homes and these producers really think that they can do whatever they want.

It's like community theater. It's like the new community theater. You're going to get paid nothing. We're going to trash your home, treat you like crap ruin your life and then leave it's like when i did fiddler on the roof except it wasn't done in my home but my life was trashed i was left in the dust i mean how many more of them need to get divorced and lose all of their money and have their range rovers towed out of like the uh you know the parking lot of applebee's before they start to realize, wait, these shows are ruining our lives.

Yeah, it gave them a life, but it also ruined their lives. Yes, and I think that Phaedra is a prime example. We'll get to her in a minute, but I would like to talk about Portia and Kenya and the brawl. Oh, yes, yeah, yeah. But we hadn't talked about that other thing, so I

wanted to talk about it with you because I just think you're so funny and your whole reaction to it was very funny. It's still a sore subject. I'm not going to lie. And any of you that are listening to us right now, if you watch The People's Couch, you should probably think about stopping this podcast right now because I hate you. No. I've seen it. I thought it was pretty cute.

I didn't watch the first round of it. But then I watched it later and I liked it. I thought it was pretty cute i didn't watch the first round of it but then i watched it later and i liked it i thought it was pretty fun it's terrible the only thing that like in its in its second season or i don't even know what season they're on but like that fashion queen's trash i'm starting to get into it oh my yeah we're just so opposite we could never like i mean seriously like we're i think we're so we have so much fun together. But yeah, if we were dating. Because when you date, you have to be able to share the TV. Or just have a big house where you have different rooms. I have three TVs and three DVRs.

And yet, I'm still single. Okay, we could date. I could be on a thruple. I could actually have two lovers. Because we would each have our own TV and DVR. Actually, there's another reason we couldn't date. Because we're both eating distorted in different ways. Like, I eat too much and you don't eat, and that would cause major, major trouble.

I assume you're still skinny. Um, I've kind of gotten a little fatter, but, you know, it's working for me. Okay, you can come back home. You can come back home. You're welcome back. Okay, so Nini and Kenya. So the big news out of Atlanta was they shot the reunion last week, the 27-hour reunion, whatever bullshit they keep those poor women in there for.

And Kenya, I mean, there's different rumors. Like Kenya brought a big black dildo to make fun of Portia and said, like, this was a better husband. I mean, this was a better wife to your husband than you were or something like that. And then Portia went off on her ass. But we don't know exactly what happened. I heard there were no dildos. I don't know what happened.

But Kenya started running her mouth about Portia's terrible marriage, and Portia apparently beat the crap out of her. I don't know really where you stand on all these people. In a bizarro change of heart, I'm secretly Team Portia right now. I'm sure it will change in the next few weeks. But I think that Kenya deserves a beatdown every once in a while. And Kenya, I will give her some credit though. She's the only one on this show, even more so than Nene, who doesn't take it seriously and who is clearly there for her paycheck. And she will twirl it up and who is clearly there for her paycheck and she

will twirl it up and just deliver the crazy lines in the confessional but she's also a pain in the ass and i'm glad porsche gave her a smack oh yeah if any bitch deserved to get beat it's kenya i mean kenya she is so mean and granted she's hilarious like her diary room sessions are the best and always the most quotable things of the whole show. I mean, she's just hilarious. But, yeah, I mean, her speaking out of her ass like that. And, of course, she's always hated Portia. But, yeah, she totally deserved it.

And Portia's just too stupid to fight. She doesn't know what the words mean for a while. So she doesn't even know what she's really fighting about, you know? Like the whole, you're a beard. She doesn't know what that is, you know? She's, like the whole you're a beard. She doesn't know what that is. You know, she's like, I don't have a beard. You're ashy. You know, she doesn't she doesn't know what she's fighting about.

She has no clue. But then you have Kenya and she stands up there and she goes, well, you know, I wanted to take everybody to Mexico so that we could get closer. It's like you're not fooling anybody. It's like you're not fooling anybody. We know that a dinner party or a trip on any of these franchises equals high drama, definitely at least a minimum of three fights, and probably the dissolution of at least two friendships. So you're not fooling anybody. That trip was designed to create chaos, and you were the ringmaster. Just own it. And not only that, like, bitch, please.

I love when they pretend like they're throwing these these big extravagant trips like when the land's like this was my trip to morocco oh i planned this this is i'm the hostess this is what's gonna go down because i'm the host don't don't talk shit about it's like you did not pay for everybody to go to morocco get over here and kenya even said well i paid for this trip Maybe next time I'll pay for somebody else instead of Nene. I'm like, please, you can't even pay your rent. How many houses have you been evicted from this season? Please.

Exactly. Kenya. But I hope that they don't cut that out of the reunion because that's some amazing shit. Kenya deserves it. And she didn't get beat up because did you hear that shit on tmz that that uh the call yes that called the tmc this is this is the call to t to uh 9-1-1 she's like 9-1-1 may i help you and she's like i'd like to report an assault okay what's your name kenya okay where are you a hotel where is it i don't know i was just assaulted okay um what happened

someone assaulted me okay could you at least like put something into this call like it needed to be more like i just got hit someone beat me i mean make an effort This is going to be played in court one day. This is boring. You need to entertain the jury if you want to win any money. She claims to be such a great actress. You thought you could have brought it. Come on. Yeah, come on, Kenya.

Boring. But there was also some more fun stuff on TMZ, which, I mean, those leeches, they catch some good shit. And mostly it's at the back door of bars where D-listers come out shit-faced. And often it's Brandy, and we heard them talking on the Beverly Hills reunion a bit about Brandy being caught falling all over the place on TV, or on TMZ. But this time it's NeNe, and it's awesome. I think it's the newest story on TMZ. Wait, is it? When was this? It was today, right? It was yesterday. NeNe, and it's awesome. I think it's the newest story on Teams. Wait, is it? When was this?

It was today, right? It was yesterday. NeNe leaks Kenya Moore as a fake right down to her ass. Okay, and then the picture they show of her, she looks normal and smiling, and Greg's all confused next to her as usual. But then if you actually watch the video, she is drunk as hell. Her nose is stuffed up, which means her cokie moose ass was snorting some coke, probably off Greg's hairy butt in the bathroom. And she is slurring and not making any damn sense.

And it's wonderful to see her life. You know, I keep rooting for Nene's life to be ruined. And then she keeps booking things. Why is she booking so many things? I don know but i do live for a little chit chat session between kenya moore and marlo and when they just went out at nini and were like well she's probably acting out this way because she's still not over the fact that the new normal was canceled i was like first of all neither of these women have watched that show they don't know like the trade magazines they don't know that the show was ever on or got canceled or it's time slot or anything but they did their research right before the camera started to roll and i was like oh they're bringing out some facts and figures on nini yeah they're like what is her q rating it must have fallen like shut up well she's just

recurring on glee she's not a series regular i'm like come on people well she's not on glee anymore right and isn't that show ending well no one's watching glee except for you know adam lambert fans which i don't blame them for because why is he on adam lambert yeah he's on there now and i you know i love him but like come on adam lambert's on glee what's he doing on glee he and demi lovato are in new york hanging out with liam michelle and chris colfer, I haven't seen any of the New York stuff. Like they grow up and go to New York to school or something? Oh, yes.

I don't get it. So half of it takes place at college and half of it takes place in high school or what? I kind of don't really know, but they still sing too much. Well, congratulations, Ryan Murphy. Your show is so bad that I'm not watching a musical. That's pretty bad. If you're not watching a musical and I am, there's a serious problem. Yeah, that's pretty bad.

So anyway, so that's the good stuff with that. I cannot wait for that reunion. And it really, really shed light on how lame the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion, well, how the whole season really was. It was just so made up and stupid. You know, if Lisa had whipped out a purse and beat the shit out of somebody, I would have been for it.

Okay, where are we going? Are we going to start with Beverly Hills or ATL? Because I have so much to talk about. I think we should start with Bev's. Okay, Bev's because it's done, right? Yeah. Are we getting lost footage or is it really done? There's going to be lost footage,

but I will not be watching that. I couldn't even watch the found footage. The found footage was terrible. Why would I watch the lost footage? Like, what is it going to be? What even happened this year? It's going to be Kim like, Hey, I'm speedwalking around the block.

It's what I do now. Me and Kingsley walking. Hey, look, everybody. I got weights on my ankles. I used to feel like I had weights on my ankles, but it was because I was an alcoholic. Now it's real weights. Okay, so I didn't watch. I was like, again, I was having major Bravo fatigue and anger issues at the beginning of the Beverly Hills season.

And so I watched like one or two episodes. And all I can remember was like, oh, I think there's a new witch. And I think Kim has a dog that's gonna maul everybody to death. And then I was like, if these are the storylines, I'm out. So I didn't watch any of it, except I've only watched the three reunion specials, and I'm re hooked. Okay, well, you're seeing all the fun parts. So you don't see all the parts that they cut out. Okay, well, I can I just like, I'll just like go through the ladies. And I to get, like, your impression on them, because I don't really know what's going on. Who is this Joyce with her Michael Jackson nose, and did she ever play a role in the season? Okay, Joyce is a former Miss Puerto Rico, and she's an anorexic, and some people think she's really Lou Diamond Phillips turned into a drag queen with a good facelift.

And she's married some fat film producer guy who put her on a TV show called Siberia. And she is washed up and Lou Diamond Phillips looking now. And she's a terrible actress, as we saw on Siberia. So her new thing is starting her own beauty contest. Because there's already Miss USA, Miss America, and Miss Universe. Are those two things or three things? So anyway, she started one called Miss

Galaxy of the World in the Universe, or something stupid. And so she gets these young girls, I don't know, she started her own stupid beauty contest. And everybody hates her because the very first episode, I don't know, she started her own stupid beauty contest. And everybody hates her because the very first episode or the second episode, she went up to Lisa and tried to start

a fight with her. And she's like, I didn't like how you treated me because I was trying to fix your bangs. And then you threw my hand off of you. And you're like, no, no, I don't need you. And Lisa was like, darling, what? I just don't like people touching my wig. You know, she's like, no, that wasn't nice. You are dismissive. Which, of course, where does she get that word? The rest of them hangs. So everyone kind of hated her.

But she was really the only one who ever yelled at Brandy the whole season and let her have it. So people kind of liked her by the end. Okay, so my favorite part of Reunion Part 3 was where Yolanda was like, who is this girl in the back? Which means Joyce, who was sitting right next to her. But Yolanda turned her back to her and was like, who's this girl squawking in the background? I don't know who she is. Yeah, Yolanda's like, I have a headache. There's something behind me that's buzzing.

I don't know what was going on, except I'm still Team Yolanda. I'm Team Yolanda's short haircut. I'm team Yolanda in a skin-tight tangerine frock. You know what team I am? I'm team tick. I'm all for the ticks, giving her Lyme disease and taking her out. It's the only thing that's ever going to shut her up and get her in bed long enough to just be quiet.

She needs to just be quiet. Yolanda, be quiet. Well, one thing that is probably going to keep – I don't know if it's going to keep her quiet or if she's going to go squawking to the gossip rags is, but I was also hearing that David Foster is cheating on her now. So I don't know how much longer their relationship is going to last. Clearly he does not want to be on this show,

and it's all about Gigi anyway. So I don't know if Yolanda is going to be having a nice next six months or so. David Foster affair. Girl, you know I'm looking that up right now. Brandy Glanville. Okay, I'm going to look. Oh, no, I can't because then I can't talk and look at this at the same time. Yes, my theory is that Yolanda, since she has a prenup,

because, you know, he's not marrying her ass without a prenup, knowing that she's some dumb model who already took a shit ton of money from Mohammed. So, you know that she's pretending, she's just using all that, Oh, I'm a good five and a woman was made from the man's ribs so that she could make him chickens with lemon sauce. Like, that whole act is because she it's like her job you know she's never had a job but keeping an old ugly man happy so that's what she's doing and i don't think he's ever seen her so lucky yeah amen i might be nice too no i

wouldn't so i i think that he's never seen her real personality so he's probably getting a good dose of what a c-word she is right now and and I'm sure looking at younger models, good for him. Who wouldn't? Good for him. He has 27 Grammys. Why not? Yeah, get rid of that bitch. Okay, so I don't understand.

Where does her relationship stand with Lisa right now? Like, I feel like they will still make it through. I feel like Lisa's burned all of her bridges, but for some reason I feel like Yolanda and Lisa will stand the test of time. No. No. I don't think so. Because Lisa got Yolanda that damn job, and then Yolanda immediately

turned. I mean, basically the whole season was this. Brandy has no life or storyline. She can't show her children. She has no relationship. Her books are fake. They're't show her children. She has no relationship. Her books are fake. They're written by somebody else. She has no real job. All the bitch does is get shit-faced in public and get more plastic surgery. She has nothing to say. Even her arguments, she can't even make up a real argument. Everything about her is so stupid and scripted and fake that she needed

a storyline. And apparently, and this is from what she said on her own podcast, Meanie Leakes told her, if you want to be the most popular, you've got to take down the most popular. So she came on gunning for Lisa, who was supposedly her best friend and who kept her on the show and got her a contract. So then Lisa should hate her. Oh, yeah.

Lisa's right to hate her. But Lisa didn't do anything to her. Like, she's making up all this shit now. Okay, so you know how on the reunion, Brandy's like, But I don't like how you're friends with that waitress who cheated with my husband! She's, like, trying to cry and do all that. If you pull Sheena or me out of a burning building, I was like, I would throw more gasoline on it and let you both suffer.

Exactly. And Lisa's answer to that was the best. I wouldn't let any of my waitresses burn in a fire darling except for kristen did you get that she's finished with that she was like can i actually replace sheena with kristen and then put you and kristen in the burning building because i'm all for that yeah she hates well stupid kristen's going on twitter like i agree with brandy like shut up don't you have a table to wait you know that table is low on bread.

Okay? Bring a water pitcher over, you dumb bitch. Dear Ronnie, they do not serve carbohydrates at Sur. I beg to differ. I've been there. Okay? Skinny people may work there, but fat people eat there. Thank you. I'm one of them. Fat tourists eat there.

Yes. And Armenians. The little, the Shazo Sunset fans eat there for their birthday. That's like a Persian birthday palace. It's like what the bowling alley is to poor children in El Paso. Do they serve diamond water? They better. So, oh yeah. So basically they all came after Lisa and they started all this shit with Lisa.

Well, you know that Lisa's the worst one to do that with, not because she's a saint, but because she doesn't care that she's a bitch, eh? And she's just trying to be funny, and she's older than them, and she does not care. Like, do you remember on Miami when they went after Leah, and Leah would just stay calm, stay calm, stay calm. And then they would say something that finally got Leah like, What? On my back? What? And she'd start squealing, and she stood up and started just squealing and freaking out like a tea kettle. Lisa's not going to do that. She's like, whatever.

Lisa's not going to do that, and Lisa also has another successful show on there. Andy loves her. The network and all the executives love her so it's like you can mess with her all you want she's not going anywhere but I have questions about the witch I do not understand Carlton I don't know if the Watch What Crappens

fans love her or hate her and this whole drama with Kyle I do not get it but I and just watching again just watching the three specials I feel like I hate Kyle more than ever. Kyle's awful, but at least she was a bitch again in the reunions, which was nice because she's been trying to pretend she's a good person, which is just not, I mean, hey, we all know she's a horrible person. So why are you pretending? And you can't hide it.

Like you just, when you're Kyle, you just can't hide it like you just when you're kyle you just can't hide it like she calls lisa this big manipulator but she's been talking shit about her trying to get everybody turned this whole time she complains that everybody's talking about her husband banging trannies when she brings it up every episode it's like shut up but at least she's been fun carlton people pretty much hated her from the beginning because she's Why though? Why? Okay. This is her thing. She's some washed up hooker. At first she said she met her husband in some club and got in a fist fight

with some other hoe over him and ended up winning and that's how they met. But then we find out that her husband's extremely wealthy from an extremely wealthy family and she was doing something in the office. She was working in the office somehow and ended up fucking the boss's son, and then that's how she became famous. Basically, I picture her as one of those girls who's from the Wolf of Wall Street, when those

guys are all super rich, and they bring in whores off the street, and they all gangbang them. And then, of course, one of them is going to fall in love with one of those whores, and she gets rich, and that's her. And her house, she's a Wiccan, or as she calls, a Wiccan, and she gets rich and that's her. And her house, like she's a Wiccan or as she calls a Wiccan and she has this like big house that's like a church but it's also, it's got pentagrams all over it and confessionals and like crucifixes

and Wicca things. But here's my problem. If she wants to do that, fine. I don't care what anybody wants to believe in or who they want to believe. I mean, I really don't give a shit but I feel like Kyle is offended that, I don't know, like, is Kyle offended that this woman's religion is kind of all over the map and she has all these different artifacts? They're like, what is Kyle's problem?

No, no. It was never about the religion. Kyle actually didn't have a problem with Carlton at all. She was, like, trying to be nice to her because she was a new girl. But Carlton had watched his show and already hated Kyle like America. And so she came on just starting shit with Kyle because she didn't like her. So everything that Kyle did, Carlton would turn into you or I would have been exactly like Carlton because we've known that she has been a lying sack of shit for the past two seasons. And you would have gone in guns blazing for her too. Or

was she trying to say? Was she trying to like say that i haven't watched the show i don't know what's going on i just i really just dislike you or like was she fake about it or was she just yeah she was coming up with stupid reasons like the first time she met kyle kyle said something like um are you she said because of course this hoe had to mention right away that she's wicked like somehow that came up and kyle was like oh so that's like a witch and she's like would i guess yes darling and she's like well do you believe in spirits or something like that because you know kyle does like her and her sister go to those stupid spiritual advisors or whatever so kyle's an idiot but she was just trying to make conversation and this

woman's like oh that's so offensive that she would talk about someone's religion in public and every time Kyle did anything I mean look I hate Kyle too but I could name 20 legit reasons like I wouldn't have to make up something stupid that happened in a fake Chamber of Commerce party. Okay, so we hate Carlton. She's clearly one of Lisa's only fans. And do we get the sense that Carlton and Joyce are going to come back or not?

Well, everyone's saying they're going to get fired. Towards the end, people started liking them more because Carlton was the only person who stood up for Lisa and everyone loves Lisa. So she kind of won some points by the end, but no, I mean, those two, they have nothing to say or do. So I think they're probably gone. I think it's safe to say they're probably gone. Okay. Call me crazy,

but I actually in watching the reunion special missed having crazy Taylor Armstrong in the mix. I've missed crazy taylor this whole season and while i think she's a train wreck and is gonna nothing good is gonna come out of that life but it it was good for my tv i really enjoyed it i missed making russell hanging jokes i mean those were my favorite recap jokes what about when we played like the audio of her like slurring when she was drinking margaritas on that trip or that guy like that interviewer called her and she didn't realize she was being recorded i mean that was gold and i didn't watch a couple's therapy on vh1 did you watch it i didn't watch it i didn't

because she was supposedly a huge train wreck on them because now she's boning the lawyer that she got when russell killed himself you know she's she's clearly not throwing fifty thousand dollar mad hatter tea parties for um for reagan uh right now she's probably at you know claim jumper skipping out on the bill well it's still his money so she can still like she's stolen away from like his three children and wife or something like that so well but supposedly he's trying to make her suffered yeah supposedly he's trying to make her sign a prenup or something. I don't know. I need to watch that. I think that's one of those things, like if I ever get terminal cancer and I'm stuck inside,

I'm just going to watch all of Couples Therapy from the beginning of time. That's how I feel about Mad Men. I keep trying to start that pilot, and it just hasn't happened seven years later. Yeah, Mad Men's one of those cable shows where it's really smart, and the way you know it's a smart show is that you have to watch eight hours of it before you even like it. It's like so frustrating and horrible for eight hours. And then you're like, oh, okay, now I'm just drugged enough to like this show. Yeah, I think I need to catch like a terminal illness before I start Breaking Bad or Mad Men.

Yes, and Breaking Bad, yeah, they're both great shows. But yeah, you have to devote like a solid day to binging. So what else happened on this reunion? I have more questions. I have more questions. OK. So Kim, who you know, like we love us some Kim. Loved.

I will tell you for the first time I've started to hate Kim because I felt like through these reunion specials, it's just been her sobbing about her daughter, Kim Jr., which I still can't get over the fact that her daughter is named Kim. And then also she keeps bringing up the, like, she's still, I'm sorry, and maybe I'm being insensitive to people that are recovering, alcoholics and addicts out there. She seems way too sensitive to be on a reality TV show because she's still blaming everybody. And, like, you can't even dance around the topic without her pointing her finger and saying, like, don't question my sobriety.

Yes. Yes. That's what's been making us crazy to the whole season. Kim takes no responsibility. She's obviously still not sober. OK, because look, you've known alcoholics or addicts in your life, I'm sure. Right. I mean, we're in Hollywood and we're gay.

I've dated a few. Yeah. So I don't know know have you known anybody who's become sober like who's gone through the program no this is hollywood they're all still fucked up okay well when you go through the pro the ones that i know who've gone through the program there's a certain pride there and it's there's no shame. It's not like, I was an alcoholic. It's like, I was a drunk. You know, like, I was a drunk.

I'm getting through it every day. I'm strong. You know, there's like a certain sense of pride that you came through it. You're still there. You're strong. Kim's not. You know, it's like, how could you talk about my sobriety? That's not fair, Kim. She takes no

responsibility. I don't even, she didn't go to AAA. She didn't go to AAA. Could you imagine? Hey, AAA! Stop telling me to stop drinking and come chill in my car and lock my keys in there. Okay, do sober people slur their words

this much? Well, from what I remember from last last season i guess do you remember when she was shit-faced the whole season and she went to see paul the plastic surgeon and he was like listen if i'm gonna do surgery you cannot be shit-faced and she's like he's like well yeah but you can't be taking the pills either. She's like, what pills? I just take my medicines. And he's like, okay, yeah, but what medicine do you take? And she's like, well, Prozac, Kibsac, Colifloxin, Flournix, Lirxin, Shungin, Shungin, Dong Dong,

Pepto-Bismol, Esprin. And then he went right ahead and stuck her with needles. He's like, you shouldn't mix all those. But I'll take your money. I mean, take bravo's money yeah yeah exactly i'll take the i'll take the free scene on national tv okay so she's clearly still a wreck and i'm being told that the only reason she's still on the show is because kyle puts in her contract if you want to keep bringing me back because obviously she's good to have because she fights with brandyy. Now she's reconciled with Brandy, but she fights with either Lisa or Brandy, and she's one of the main pillars of the show. But part of Kyle's contract says, you want me, you have to put Kim, full-time cast member, full salary. Because let's be honest,

she and Mauricio don't want to have to buy her another house and a car. Well, look at fucking Kim. She's driving a Bentley. Like, bitch, listen, you're a real housewife. How long do you think that's going to last? A. B, you're not making $300,000 an episode like a sitcom star. You're making like that much a season. Okay? A year. That's kind of like, I think that your residuals from Return to Witch Mountain probably dried up in the early 80s. Yes, they dried up in the fountain outside of Kyle's home. I mean, like, Kyle spent that shit already. There is no more Disney money, okay? And Kim's, what she do,

she goes and gets a Bentley. Jesus. Well, I think that Mauricio probably, like, leased it for her, and I'm sure, again, it will be repoed from, you know,

the Cheesecake Factory on Beverly Boulevard. Oh, Twitch. I almost, you know, the Cheat Cake Factory on Beverly Boulevard. Oh, Twitch. I almost, you know, I used to love her because I was like, oh, she's so wacky and goofy and fun. And, you know, so she's so she drinks a little. Who cares? She's great.

But now that I've seen her sober and just blaming everybody for everything and just acting like such a bitch. Oh, shut up. You know, that is a real problem though. When some people get sober, I mean maybe it's better for their liver and maybe it's better for their work environment or something like that. It really hurts their friendships and it's hurting my viewership because I prefer drunk Kim and I don't like her sober. Yeah, look. I'm all for sobriety and I'm all for drunkenness

too, but I just, people are so different. Like if you're drunk a lot, you're going to be very different in the day. Like if you hang out with me at nighttime when I'm drinking, I'm a whole lot different than I am in the day. I'm nicer. I'm calmer. I enjoy my life much more. I mean, I'm probably an alcoholic. Let's, Let's admit it. But if I just became sober, I'm a horrible, nasty, rotten person. I yell at people in the street. I push old ladies down. I run people off the road. I threaten maids. Like, I'm a terrible human being. Like, you need to be one or the other. You know, I could never just be sober. I would have no friends. This is further proof why we should have been cast on the people's couch. I mean,

my God, they would have dedicated the entire show just to us well look let's face it if they even googled us like google your name and look what comes up all it is is well you're actually nice you're probably the nice one which is hilarious because you're not nice but like comparatively you're the nice one did you not see me go into the big brother house i'm my goal in life is to be a reality tv villain people come on hey um side note have you considered i know that they're casting big brother right now i would i was once wanting to like pitch it like hey i'm a blogger i make fun of this every year and it would be fun to have a secret blogger in the big brother house

who would go into the diary room and write live recaps of the show right i thought that would be a good idea um but i never did it because dora's box yeah like i don't want to take off my shirt and stuff so i could never do it but why don't you do it i think you'd be so good and i think they totally go for that i'm i'm telling now, I haven't actually reached out, but I've hinted at my people that I know there that work as producers and it's just like, come on, just put me in that damn house. You should!

And I could probably run all the social media while I'm in the diary room. Hell yeah! I'll bet they totally would let you. They would totally cast you. So any whoozles, yeah, the people, I mean, just the shit I say about Andy Cohen alone, I'm pretty much, I'm sure, blocked forever from Bravo. And you know what? Good.

We should be doing other things. We also need to stop talking about the people's cash like it was a sitcom. It's some stupid late night show on a cable channel that paid less than $10 an hour. It really would have cost us money to be on the show, let's be honest. Because I would be like, I'm going to get brazilian i'm getting my brows did i'm getting some fake bronzer i'm getting some frosted tips like i would have become a real housewife i would have spent a hundred thousand dollars i would have gone into debt just to get glam for that show and then it would have been canceled and then i've been like oh fuck yeah i would have just shown

up off that and not cared and that's why i I like the internet. Because that's what I can do here. Like, as long as I can just make a little living doing, just being a mean person on the internet, I'm totally fine with that. Okay, we need to move on, but I have one other question. So, I kind of also hate Brandy now because I feel like... Kind of. She's just crying, essentially, because she's saying, like... She's a twine. Lisa and Ken dropped me, and that was my gravy train,

and now I'm back to being Poe White Trash. Okay, she totally fucked over everybody just to get a storyline, and then she's like, well, I said I was sorry, which she really didn't say she was sorry, so I don't even know what she's talking about. But she's basically like, well, I can't believe you're dumping me. I mean, the only reason I was like that is because I was going through such a hard year.

I mean, what with my divorce and life. It's like, bitch, what kind of hard year did you have? You had the best year of your adult life, okay? Before this show, before last year, you were caught shopping in a Walmart, unable to pay your damn bills, running around snot-nosed those kids everywhere drunk home alone your husband had just left you you had nothing nobody who knew you were now you're a star you've got two books that are bestsellers because you've had ghost writers hired for you by bravo and you've got a national platform to sell them on and america's really stupid and all you really need

to do to learn that is to read the New York bestsellers list, because it's frightening. It's all those divergent books and Brandy Glanville. Like, shoot me in the face. Yeah, you wonder why American civilization is going down the toilet. Yeah, and bitch, like, you had the best year of your life. Like, you have a home now,

you have a career, and you have it because some old lady on a reality show was nice to you when kyle richards was trying to get your ass frozen out and booted like she does to everybody she doesn't like on that show and what do you do you turn around and you buy the old lady you you look the old lady course in the mouth is what you did okay so i what i'm getting at is i hate this entire cast for the most part i I only kind of really like Yolanda. I obviously still love Lisa.

She can do no wrong in my book. But I feel like it needs some Adrian Maloof and some Taylor Armstrong back in the mix. I think so, too. This is one of those shows where I think the original cast should just all come back. Adrian Maloof, they asked her, some stupid website asked her and she's like oh they'd have to pay me a lot of money um why because you're like richer than god for doing nothing your whole life so what about camille i miss camille um camille would have been good this year i mean she had that weird serial killer brother the brother of a serial killer that she was dating who like pulled out her weave and crushed her iPhone in a hotel room. Yeah, I mean, that's a storyline right there. And I mean,

frankly, even if she doesn't have a storyline, I would watch her be boring, sipping chamomile tea and counting Kelsey Grammer's money. I would be fine with that. Yeah, Camille Grammer doesn't have the best personality. But just that's kind of what's so great about her. Like she's so awkward and she doesn't understand what an asshole she is, because she's been surrounded by ass kissers for so long, because she's so rich. Again, with money that she didn't really earn. And she's just delusional, and weird, and creepy, and like one-eyed. Like, one-eyes always have clothes, and she's always coming on to everyone's husbands.

And yeah, she needs to be back. Adrienne Maloof needs to be back, just because she lives in a mall, and that's always coming on to everyone's husbands. And yeah, she needs to be back. Adrienne Maloof needs to be back just because she lives in a mall, and that's amazing. And Taylor Armstrong, you can't beat that kind of crazy. I mean, Taylor Armstrong really opened the door for alcoholism on TV because it was never so acceptable before Taylor. You know, like she hid in a suitcase.

Nobody even talked about it after. It wasn't like, oh my God, Taylor's drunk. When I go to dinner party, the first thing I bring up is, do you remember when Taylor was cracked up in a suitcase. Nobody even talked about it after. It wasn't like, oh my God, Taylor's drunk. When I go to dinner party, the first thing I bring up is, do you remember when Taylor was cracked up in a suitcase and Kim, drunk Kim, was even laughing at her? Yeah, Kim's like, at least you have a chalk. I'm going to be your sponsor, okay? You're going to put my name on all of your t-shirts for when you go biking and everyone's gonna say, oh my god, Kim Richards sponsored her. Yeah, they all need to come back. Carlton, go.

Sorry, she seems kind of nice actually now, but go. Get out. Joyce, get out. Brandy, get out. Brandy brought the white trash to the BH. I think BH needs to stay rich bitches. Taylor Armstrong needs to be the only poor one. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by

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by joining Wondery Plus. From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of black history that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less.

In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some. As a fighter for black rights, she is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th.

Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Black is beautiful. Starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Right. It's kind of like in New York when we had at the very beginning was like Bethany could be the poor one who was kind of mentored by the real rich ladies. Beverly Hills got too trashy and I feel like they really need to inject the cash back in. Yeah, I agree. So Beverly Hills, bye. I know that we're going to be seeing Brandy she will not be getting fired because andy loves her and you could tell by the reunion when andy actually

started fighting for her which is the first time i think i've seen andy really get this involved in a reunion where he's fighting one of the housewives for the other housewives. He was really going at Lisa in that third hour. Yeah, I didn't approve of that. You know, it's like Nene says on The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Peter, you're acting like a bitch. Like, you are not a bitch. Let the women hash it out on their own. You are a man.

And granted, we are two men, but we're not talking to them. We're talking about them. Perfect segue right there. And I don't think I've ever been more Team Nene in my life. in but we're not talking to them we're talking about them uh perfect segue right there and i don't think i've ever been more team nini in my life i actually think that peter is a bitch she was saying that he was acting like one but he really was um getting too much up in the ladies business and i mean nobody even had the smarts to bring it up like as soon as they get in the limo to go to the airport or like that they're they're going to the resort then he starts talking to Portia about the fact that he went and had

um a conversation with her ex-husband or her soon-to-be ex-husband like again you are so desperate to keep your crappy trash bars afloat and you need to stay on the show because Cynthia is boring as fuck and you need to make some money it's ridiculous Peter like you just need to stay on the show because Cynthia is boring as fuck. And you need to make some money. It's ridiculous, Peter. Like, you just need to go away. Oh, he's the worst. First of all, going on camera with someone's ex-husband who just locked them out of the house. I mean, that is so low. It's none of his business.

He was not best friends with Cordell. That whole thing was so low. And then to confront her in front of everybody when everybody's in a couple except her i mean even kenya had a friend there and she's all alone you know that is not cool that guy is disgusting and you know what if it was if he was acting like that so he could be making money to pay his rent that would be great but he's not he's doing it so that his wife can pay his rent and and he can spend her money without even asking and go buy cars without even telling her because she's dumb enough to have a joint bank account with his stupid loser ass. She's dumb. And then she's also a mute at like the most, the times where she needs

to be the most vocal. So when your husband is saying this in front of a group on camera to Portia, which is so disgustingly disrespectful, you don't say anything. Then, after this fight with Greg, and your best girlfriend, Nini, calls your husband a bitch, you don't even have the balls to call out your girlfriend and say, don't say that to my husband.

I mean, the only person I was looking at for the entire thing was Candy sitting on the sidelines going like, she not gonna say nothing? Yeah, for real. And I love that she doesn't like back off like she's a wimp. Like she puts on those fake glasses that have no lenses in them. And then she like puts her finger under her chin.

Like she's really listening to a deep conversation. Like she's really in it, just trying to understand where everyone's coming from. That's what they teach at the uh the bailey modeling agency it's called put on a fedora fake glasses from urban outfitters that are not prescription put your index finger at 40 degrees under the left part of your chin tilt your head and pretend you're smart when you're a dumb ass yeah she's poor thing i'm like oh well i'm glad that you can see everybody with your fake glasses. Stupid. And then she doesn't say anything.

But then behind, you know, and this is what's going to get her in trouble, I think, too. If you don't have the nerve to say something to Nene's face, don't say it on camera behind her back. That's just going to make her even more mad, you know? Like when she's watching it and she's seeing Cynthia like, well, I don't want to be their friends if they're going to act like that. It's like, where did you grow these balls? You're literally talking in your closet right now. You need to come out into the open and say something in public.

What are you doing? She's going to get in so much trouble with Nene, and I love it. This episode was kind of pretty lame. I mean, my favorite part, again, was Kenya and Marlo sitting together talking some smack about Nene's canceled TV show. But then what is up with Kenya and this baby doll? Poor Kenya. Kenya is one of those people who's so entertaining, but she's just she can't keep anybody in her life because she's an awful person. I mean, look, the only person who will hang out with her, even in her own family, is the

woman who raved her. Her own family, when they came over to hang out with her that time, looked like they wanted to all just crawl under a rug and die. They all looked so uncomfortable that they had to hang out with her. She has no man has no friends i mean her like gay the gay friend on the show can't even be on there because he started a fight and then lawrence isn't even her friend that's sheree's friend oh sheree all right so poor kenya she's just she has to just make shit up to do it's like you know last year it was it was stealing the fitness idea that wasn't even hers. Then she had Sheree's friend that was stolen. And this time there's no – like she can't steal a baby from Phaedra, so she just got a little fake baby. Okay, but let's talk about this Phaedra thing right now.

So again, I have not watched the entire season. I've watched pieces and then I watched the past probably like – the past like five episodes solid. you know the past probably like the past like five episodes solid i honestly think that we are watching phaedra's marriage dissolve on camera and it's one of those like gross feelings that you get in the pit of your stomach where you're like oh i saw this happening to like nick and jessica on newlyweds not that i cared about them or not that i care about uh apollo and phaedra but it's just kind of one of those things like, yep, this is the beginning of the end. Yeah, I mean, and the end is coming fast, so it's like the beginning, the middle, and the... I mean, it's coming so fast. He's horrible. Okay, so we've talked about this before, so I'm sorry to anybody who listens to this every week,

because I'm totally repeating, but we have to catch Matt up. So, did you hear about that interview by this Angela Stanton chick who came out and said that she was in prison because she used to work for Phaedra? And her and Apollo were both henchmen for Phaedra. And Phaedra has this big criminal enterprise and all of this stuff. Yes. Well, all of the stuff that she mentioned, like every specific business that she was running for Phaedra that she mentioned is what Apollo was arrested for.

He was arraigned for. So it looks like everything this woman was saying was true because this was months before any of this happened. So Apollo gets carted off to jail and he's gonna go to prison. I mean, there's no way around that. He's dead. He's going to prison. I mean, there's no way around that. That ass is, he's dead.

Like, he's going to prison. I want him to share a cell with Teresa. And, oh God, wouldn't that be great? I think he should share a cell with Juicy Joe. That would be so cute. Two cute house husbands. Maybe they could date. Spinoff.

And, uh... So, he's going to jail. Okay, so Phaedra, people are, the rumors are that Phaedra will eventually get indicted as well. But my theory is that Phaedra got his ass arrested because he, of the way he was acting on TV. He mortified her. I think that she knew he was a pig. She obviously knew that he was blowing thousands of dollars at a time at strip clubs because he admitted it freely in front of everybody.

So she obviously knew that. You know, you don't mess with Phaedra's money. She works hard for that money. You do not blow that on whores. And then you don't blow it on whores. And even if you do, she's probably thinking, well, at least he's not trying to get on me. You know, but

you don't tell people about it and mortify her on national tv after flirting with kenya after being outed for lying that you lying about kenya coming on to you in the first place like that guy is such a train wreck and he's so embarrassing and he's borderline abusive on the show and i think finally she was like well i can't divorce him i'll look like a monster so bye hi police here's some hidden you know folders and got his ass carted away cause nothing's in her name it's all in

you know it's all in her henchman's name so what she's essentially doing is then she's just like she's avoiding the inevitable because her ass is going to get in trouble well they can't they can't testify against each other because they're married. So that's supposedly why she married him in the first place.

How do you know all this legalese? Girl, I read the internet. Okay. Okay. I'm sure they actually, they probably could. I'm sure there's no law against them testifying against each other, but they can't be compelled to testify against each other. And also I watched The Good Wife and like every lawsuit that's ever been made.

Josh Charles, WTF. I know, right? Yeah. Scandal. Scandal. And I'm not talking about Olivia Pope. Oh Lord, that show needs to stop. I mean, she's the worst. She's the worst actress on TV,

right? Thank you! Thank you! Did she go to school? It's so overacted. She acts with her fake teeth. She quivers her lip and juts her teeth out. Her teeth literally jut out of her mouth like a pez.

And they quiver when she's upset. And everybody on that show has to have a huge monologue. It's always like, you listen to me. I am not your whore. I work. I am the leader of my own country. And it is a country

of gladiators. And we are fighting. We are fighting for the little man. We are here. We are here day to day fight it's like jesus christ could you just say it in a sentence and move on why is everything a monologue and it just won a peabody award let's let's all kill ourselves right now is that a real thing is that like the butler from clue the peabody award the butler from Clue. That's Wadsworth. Come on, get it together. Wadsworth. Who's Peabody? I feel like Peabody was a butler

in something. Maybe Peabody was in Master Detective Clue, you know, when they introduced, like, Sergeant Gray and Miss Peach. Anybody? Anybody? That big board, and it was like, oh, and now we have the carriage house. Anybody? Come on, Master Detective Clue. No. Okay. Somebody's gonna write on the Facebook page, like, I love Master Detective Clue. oh and now we have the carriage house anybody come on master detective clue no okay somebody

somebody's gonna write on the facebook page like i love master detective glow yeah matt needs to be back every week now because he likes master detective ronnie did anything else happen on atlanta like we clearly know that todd and mama joyce are never gonna get together we know that um portia is a diva and she has a writer. But that was the best part. It's like Portia. Portia's like, I'm sorry, but I can't come to rehearsal until I have a bus come pick me up with my name on the side of it. And then I want a house built next to the rehearsal studio where I can live. I want only green M&Ms.

I want Cordell to apologize. I want God to come down and send a choir to sing me happy birthday. Who do you think you are, Mitch? You kidding? I will say... I did like that Candy kind of regulated She didn't regulate her, but she didn't

save everything for the lawyers to discuss. She actually kind of got real with her on a few issues. But Candy kept referring to this other star, the man that's starring in this show. I don't know who he is. But she kept saying, well, you don't get top billing next to that.

And I'm like, actually, the sad thing is the housewives have made Portia more of a star. Yeah, then that's the slow-vert guy who has terrible diction, I have to say. I was like, what is one of these lyrics can we respect the lyrics of this show young man i do not understand what you are talking about do you ever watch this and go like oh my god if only i lived in atlanta i would have been at that fake dancing with the stars where kim met croy and charay was involved i would be going to can i would be opening night at candies i would be having you know drinks at peter's shitty bar

like i just keep watching all this and i'm like i can't go to any at all. I can go to his sir. Yeah, I would just be hot. I would be like, it's hot. And there's so many bugs. And why are the men on high heels? I gotta leave. I gotta leave. Yeah, that's not that's not my town. Okay, so let us move on. Oh, wait, one more thing about Atlanta that I do have to say, because we're always so bitchy and evil on this show is is the musical, I think, sounds good. The music to it sounds like it would be good. I mean, that is no Tyler Perry musical. This sounds like it's actually decent. I will give her some credit. I do think that she's talented. I'm questioning her casting choices, but, you know, I mean, that's to be expected.

Well, I'm sure Sheree just wouldn't sign. I just wish that Mama Joyce was a little more involved. Like, imagine if she were just, like, the narrator. Yeah, and everything that happened, she'd be like, I can't believe that, Candy! Why would you do that, Candy? That is wrong, Candy. It's wrong. I cannot tell you, like, that little, like, the ten seconds of you doing that right there may miss this gig so much.

So much. Oh, Mama Joy. She went crazy. So, you haven't watched the whole season of that show either? No, I've watched her and Todd have, like, their awkward conversations where she still is just not having it. But did you see the one where she still is just not having it. But did you see the one where she went after Candy's friend, who she's telling everybody is fucking Todd? Yes. And she tried to hit her with a shoe.

Yes. And she's like, I will drag you down the street by your hair! I was like, oh no, Mama Joyce. So she has to be kept off now. She's with Kenya's Gay somewhere in Bravo Jail, where they're not allowed to come out until they promise to not hit people. They totally have a Bravo Jail. They pay you five cents an hour,

and it's in your own home because they're too cheap for their own jail. Okay, so Beverly Hills, Atlanta, and now New York. let's discuss my god i'm a jerk i just i'm so happy that we got some luann but i didn't get enough luann and um i don't even know like i have so many things to talk about ronnie like first of all team carol or team aviva? Carol, hello. Totally team Carol all the way. Aviva's stupid. Aviva is stupid, but I was going so nuts watching the episode that by the end I was like,

maybe am I secretly team Aviva because Carol is an asshole. How so? Why do you think Carol's an asshole? Because she does act all uppity and think that she is the hottest shit on the face of the earth. And it's like, guess what? That 19-year-old surfer boy doesn't want to stick it in your wrinkly ass, turkey ass, you know, ripping off that wetsuit all sexily. It's like if anybody – OK, great.

You have a fit little body. If anybody looks at your face, they want to vomit. So stop thinking that you're hot shit. And also I don't put it past her to hire a ghostwriter. I think that everybody that writes books, anybody that works in media or anybody that's a journalist knows that millions of people shape whatever you write, whether it's a headline, whether it is a blog post, whether it is a book. Well, I don't know if she wrote her own books. I have not read her books, nor do I really care. I mean, I get why she's i don't don't get me wrong i don't care i do not care i just think that she acts hoity-toity and

i don't like that she has heather who i loved last season act as her pitbull i don't like that oh heather okay heather's the one that's really grossing me out this year first of all heather you are just a bitch just be a bitch it's kind of my thing with kyle like the reason people are gonna like you is because you're a bitch okay stop trying to be nice and that's why i used to like kyle and that's why i used to like heather they just they actually felt real when they first appeared on the shows because they just were their natural bitchiness yeah and heather has no problem telling anybody off as she's always telling somebody off but she's always walking into the room like hi oh this is so great sonia's gonna dance oh wow

like shut up and please stop talking like you're a hip-hop star in the 90s like what is that with a shizzy i'm like no it's did you really say for shizzy please or for shizzle please no it's hilarious i don't ever want her to stop because it just is like solidifying her like white blandness it's like when old people say things like simple like cool but they say it in that old person way it's like that is cool it's like no it's not two syllables it's like the third time i've ever said the word cool. They really don't know how to pronounce it. Yeah.

And the thing is, like, you had that word in your time. Like, I don't know why you're saying it wrong. It's not like that's a new word. Like, they say it in Greece. I mean, I'm sure it was said when you were in high school. Like, when did you suddenly start sounding like, it's cool. No, stop it. That's how Heather is.

I kind of cringe. But the thing about New York and Jersey, too, actually, both of those East Coast versions make me cringe the most. I mean, almost every character on each of those shows, I just cringe. I mean, this one, Aviva's crazy. So she's cringeworthy just to watch her. And also her relationship with her husband, her weird sex talk, and her, like, rapist, sexist dad. Weird, creepy, gross, cringeworthy. Carol, like, okay, like, you knew the Kennedys, and I guess you were kind of a princess because of some weird marriage

to someone in Transylvania. Like, I don't know. Her whole thing is kind of weird, too. And it's like, I get that you're a. Like, I don't know. Her whole thing is kind of weird, too, and it's like, I get that you're a princess, but I don't know. It's like when someone's married to, like, it's like when you meet somebody and they're the mayor

of some town you've never heard of, and you're like, wow, a mayor. Like, were you at the new Hobby Lobby opening? Like, wow. Heather, with her language. Ramona, obviously, because she's just cross-eyed and creepy. And her husband's obviously cheating on her.

So, question about Ramona, though. This African safari, is she really on an African safari? Or is this where her marriage is falling apart and she's trying to save it? Why are we not in Africa with Ramona? I mean, that's like the best... If anybody deserves a spinoff,

it's Ramona in Africa. What are you doing? Look at these children. These children are hungry. Why is nobody feeding these children? You know what goes good with this wheat and this sack that just dropped out of the helicopter? Pinot Grigio. Pinot Grigio goes really good with it. You should be like me. Work really hard. All you guys have to do is come up

with a business. Just come up with an idea and publicize it. Just get on a TV show and publicize it. Stop complaining. Stop talking about being hungry. Get the flies off of your face and work. Okay? I work. I don't complain. Oh my god. I need that. I know, like, did the Bravo just run out of budget on this season because

they couldn't get some cameras over there? It's gold, people. Gold. Ratings gold. I think the stuff with her husband, well, the stuff with her husband started a while ago. Because remember, there were those, well, first of all, the psychic in Morocco told her. Right. And then there were rumors that he was being seen around town

with a younger woman. And she's like, what? It's Avery. Of course she's younger. She's the daughter. It's Avery. And then I think it came out at the end of this season. So I don't think we get to see much of Ramona getting dumped on, unfortunately. That'll be next year. Yeah, I'm not even sure what's going on with that.

I think he got caught cheating, but she's still dating him, even though she's divorcing him. I don't know. There's something weird about that whole thing. But like I said, if your man works out that much at his age, he's cheating on you. Sorry. He's not looking like that for age, he's cheating on you. Sorry. He's not looking like that for you. He's a tennis player. I'm a break.

Um, okay. Did we talk about Avery now looking gorgeous in that dress? Was that this episode or was that last episode? I totally forget. That was the last episode. I do not want to watch one more mother cry about her fucking daughter going to school.

When I want to talk about Sonia's interns. yay pickles i gotta i gotta talk about pickles i gotta talk about that mercedes from 1991 that she had to pull out of the garage because she can't afford a new car i'm obsessed with it um and have to get it jumped and buy a new battery um how she doesn't know anything about how batteries work um how she doesn't have hot water in her house because she can't afford it oh my god okay is that something new like when i heard that last night i was like wait does she really i bet she really doesn't use hot water in her house because she's poe yeah she said she can't afford it like it's too expensive so she doesn't have hot water and so she was in that borrowed house and i love that bravo put sonia's borrowed house on the bottom just so we would know where this was taking place yes they

did yes they did you're right that was they you know they get some great little like chyrons in there they're my favorite moment of every season is obviously the freeze frame at the end of the season where they like uh they stop on each woman and they put like three bitchy little nuggets next to each of their heads but like they're going for it in the middle of the season right now her rented house yeah no not even rented borrowed because she didn't rent it some friend let her use it for the week okay so sonia has all these okay speaking of cringeworthy sonia biggest one of them all i mean it is so hard watching poor Sonia sometimes. And I feel for her because she starves herself. Look, anybody who can starve themselves like the women on these shows, you've got to respect them. I mean, look at Carol, look at Heather,

look at Ramona. I mean, these women are so hungry. And I respect that because I can't do that. I mean, these women are so hungry, and I respect that because I can't do that. So right away I respect her. But, girl, those look like you just bought brand-new oranges and put them in an old withering Trader Joe's cloth bag from like 10 years ago. Put those away. I mean, how much did people spend to get a ticket to that show, by the way? I don't know. How long was it? I don't. I have no idea have no idea like the vagina monologue people actually got gussied up and probably paid a lot of money to see that ass

bouncing yeah and it wasn't and i love that it wasn't even bouncing okay you know that she got this choreographer and these stupid hoe dancers to work for free just to be on the show first of all then she kicks them Then she kicks them off. She kicks them off because she doesn't want to learn the choreography. Because she just wings it. They make her look bad. You got an airplane hanger and sold 500 tickets and you're just going to wing it? And then her whole striptease was like,

I was married to a rich guy. And then he dumped me. And now I'm pot! Like, what is this? Why are you celebrating this? This is so sad. It's like singing a song about unemployment at a child's birthday party. Stop.

It's depressing. Oh, my God. I love all her nicknames for her interns. Pickles, Trashbag. She's like, that one I asked to get to Trashames for her interns. Pickles, Trashbags. She's like, that one I asked to get to Trashbags for me, so we call her Trashbags. What? How about names? And she kept saying, like, well, you're going to be under review because we're going to see if you can pull your weight.

And I'm like, none of them do anything. Okay, this is what makes me nuts. If she is so poor, how does she have a staff are you telling me that none of these people are getting paid anything no they're interns right but like they're unpaid interns i love how she's like we only you know the cream of the crop from america's top families who lets their child go work for her you know i honestly think it's just gay parents i think that's that's what happens when you let gay people have children. They're like, you know what would be a great idea, honey?

To go work for Sonia Morgan for free and learn housewives lingo for a summer. Like, I don't know. I can't imagine who would do that to their poor children. But that intern's hot, right? Are you totally in love with that guy intern? No. What? He's a teenager and he's cute.

I thought you'd love him. I'm not into the youngsters but you were the one who did you love didn't you love uh the son from real housewives of miami weren't you the one who was like i want to have sex with that guy um no there was some young person that you were always talking about wanting to have sex with that i was like no don't do it matt you'll go to jail. I'll think. It'll come back to me. Just give me a second.

I guess that was a special case. Yeah. What else happened on this show? Okay, so we got to see Luanne again. Yay. Love her. Who, okay, this is what I don't know. Who is that other lady that is Aviva's PR image specialist?

Who is she? Because I did wantather to beat her face oh god yes this amanda she's awful she's a new friend of the housewives but is she just trying is she is she pulling a kim g where she's like i'm gonna do anything scandalous possible to like get on full-time cast member yeah she's auditioning okay she's just being a horrible auditioning biatch um and i don't know i have trouble even hating her because she's just so obviously trying to get a job and it's just sad it's sad yes yeah but it fits in with the whole cringeworthy motif of this of this show yeah i mean she's just sitting there being mean to everybody she's gonna fuck harry durbin or dubin or whatever his name is um just gross i don't know i don't need her i do need luann back i do need her back and i don't

know i like again i don't i don't really have like a great reason to hate carol except for her face and her little mini gloves and the fact that she thinks that she's hot shit and can sleep with 19 year old surfers but i do like that she and the countess didn't get along because i was convinced like when they brought them together they were going to be bff but then i love the countess pulling aviva to the side she's just not a girl's girl she's just not oh yeah i love that she's just not a girl's girl like how many husbands have you fucked like seriously like who, what girl's side are you on, please? And isn't she about to, like, go home with Harry, too? Like, that is so not a girl's girl.

But I love when girls say that, because girls who say that are never girl's girls. They're always so mean to girls. Girls who say they're girl's girls are real housewives, and they're all cunts to each other. Let's face it. Okay, what's the new one's name? Is her name Kristen? Yeah. She should not have any friends or a husband, because did you see the way she acted like an asshole during that mud run?

LOL. She was exercising. I think you totally get... Look, exercising for charity is stupid. They do not care about how many calories you burn. Give them money. Just send them money. Stop crawling through the mud. It is stupid. They do not care about how many calories you burn. Give them money. Just send them money. Stop crawling through the mud. It's stupid.

These, you know, these older men, and I'm not saying like he's old, but like these men that are middle-aged white men with money who want to marry young, hot, rich, or young, hot women and can woo them with their money. It's just like it always blows up in their faces. Like, look, look. So maybe he's sleeping with something that's like bony and somewhat attractive in the face. But it's like look what you got yourself into. It's not worth it. I would rather be banging some ugly ass person that's fun. I think she's so fun.

Like I think she's really fun and funny. I really like her, actually. I'm curious to see what's going to... What is wrong with you? Did you not see the way she acted and burst into tears after that mud... Listen, she was exercising. I would cry, too. I felt so bad for her. And her husband was making her exercise. If anything,

you should hate her because she's that skinny and she doesn't exercise at all. She had no experience. She was like, what? I have to move this much i don't do this like bitch okay that's a good point i do hate her for that uh i don't know i like her i think she's refreshing i think it's fun that she's like kind of a bimbo but she's kind of smart but also weird and i like that she'll tell people off kind of but do it in a nice way. I don't see where she really fits in, and she's not bringing me anything great. Well, she's new, so they have to have that whole season where they're nice and they're boring.

And then everybody sees her shit-talking them, and then she sees everybody shit-talking her. And so they start fighting at the reunion, and then the next she comes back with you know anger and that's what happened this year like look at carol carol came this year last year she was all nice and boring and this year she came ready to kick some ass you know she came hating everybody like they just need a year to grow their bitch flower needs to bloom it takes a year year. It takes a season. Okay, fine. I'll give her one more season, but that's it. Give her a chance. She is friends with Brandi Glantel.

You know that she's got a little C word in her just growing up. So let's support her. Okay, fine. What else happened? Let us see. Sonya's interns. Luann is back. Is Luann back for good, or is she going to be a friend of the whole season?

Are they going to add her back? I think she's a friend of the whole season. And I think, again, I think that they were taping this for many more months than they normally do. But they had to re-edit when stuff went down with her breakup with Jacques. And then also, I think because of Ramona and Mario I feel like it put this season at a different time of the year than it normally airs and I don't know I think that they were also

pissed I think I read this that they were the producers were pissed because Luann and Jacques were not appearing on camera as much or something like that and then they were like fine screw you we're going to cut you out and just downgrade you without telling you yeah there was something contract wise yeah and she but she's still posting on like instagram like she'll post photos of like being

out with the ladies and stuff like that but you know what happens once you get downgraded you never come back full time oh i hope that's not true but they never made you know a part-time housewife into a real housewife and they did that with brandy so maybe rules are broken i need luann it's worth it for luann i mean my god was there anything better than her banging the fake johnny depp on vacay i mean nothing was better than that awkward phone call that she was having where she thought she was off camera and off mic and she's speaking in french knowing that her life is going down the drain. Oh, my God.

Or her telling the monster shoes. I just love her. I think she's so funny. I was dying when she was like – Were you going to Morocco? Oh, that whole thing. This is not the Plaza Hotel. This is Morocco. You know that was the best thing ever.

I loved in this one when she's like, oh, I've never lost control in my own home before i'm like really bitch like how many people have been found drunk in your bushes get out of here how many dead teenagers have you uh found at slumber parties um yeah but i love her i hope she's back and new york is really bringing it and i read something the other day i didn't read it. Every time I say I read something, I feel like that's just such an obvious lie. I watched something the other day. What was it? It was Ramona Singer

talking about how she hated Jill Zarin. Oh, it was on Watch What Happens. Oh, so I guess we already talked about all of this. So never mind. I won't do it again. But Ramona was dissing everybody and it was super fun. And I really love this show. And she was saying, oh, you know, this year we decided to all work together because I'm the mother of the group.

And I give everyone advice. And it's really good to mold young minds. And, you know, I tell people you have to learn to be yourself. And I teach them how to be a good housewife. And this year we've all decided that we're going to work together and we're going to be a team. And now we are. And that's why the show's good, because we've all decided to work together.

And I just think that it's so funny that housewives working together means just like ripping each other apart on national TV and ruining each other's lives. That's basically all they do. It's like, well done, team. Who's bringing the cokes? Exactly. Oh, my God.

Like softball. So I think we're done, Exactly. Oh, my God. Like softball. So I think we're done, Matt. I think we are. Plus, I'm probably going to get booted out of this room here because I only booked it till 1. But this was a complete and total pleasure. I hope that I didn't offend anybody too much. Oh, please. Yes, I did.

Everybody's missed you so much. Everybody's going to be so excited to hear from you. I know I was. I wish we were real friends outside of this fucking podcast. It'd be nice to talk to you every once in a while. Well, I actually just got my life back, and I hope that we can go have a beverage soon. Yes, please. We'll go to Persian night at Sir, which is any night.

Well, and to everybody who's listening right now, thank you again for you guys still supporting me, following me on Twitter, Instagram. You guys were awesome back in the day. I'm sure you're still awesome right now. And again, Ronnie, anytime you guys need me for some OC loving, I love me some Vicky and some Tamara. Oh, hell yeah. We'll be calling you soon, boo. And also, you guys can follow Matt on all of the social media outlets at Life on the M List. He's on Twitter, Instagram.

What else? What else are your favorites? Scruff. Scruff. Are you Life on the M List on Scruff? I'm kidding. I'm not on that site. I did that Tinder thing, but I think only two people in the entire city like me.

And I think they're like busboys that I worked with before. I don't know who they are. Only people I've ever given money to, in other words. So find Matt at Life on the M List. I'm Ronnie Karam. You can find me on Twitter at Ronnie Karam or Trash Tweet TV, which is basically an RSS feed for the recaps from TrashTalkTV.com, where we do funny recaps and stuff.

I just finished Beverly Hills. I'm doing video recaps of Survivor this whole season. And you can find me on... Oh, come to Tumblr. I'm doing a lot of fun GIFs at TrashTalkTVRecaps.tumblr.com. Come on there, because that's been my fun one lately. And for Watch What Crappens, you can find us my fun one lately. And for Watch What Crappens, you can find us on Facebook at Facebook.com slash Watch What Crappens. Thank you, everybody on that

Facebook page for giving us so much material. There's like, let me look how many there are right now. We put every week before we record, we ask what you guys want to talk about. And you sure as hell answer. This year, there's like, I mean, this year. Today there's like 35, 36. While you're having fun doing that, I'm getting kicked out of my room right now. Okay, we're going, we're going, we're going. So anyway, thank you guys. Talk to you later. Thanks for listening.

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