Watch What Crappens - #127: Broken Faces

Episode Date: May 14, 2014

Ben Mandelker (bsideblog) and Ronnie Karam (TrashTalkTV) are back to talk about fat activism and fake cancer on Married to Medicine, NeNe getting the boot from Real Housewives of Atlanta (spoiler alert: lolbyebitch), Ramona losing her shiz on Real Housewives of New York, and turning against Heather on Real Housewives of Orange County. Come on in! We have air conditioning! Our Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/watch-what-cra... On iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/w... Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/watchwhatcrap... Ronnie on the Web: http://www.trashtalktv.com Ronnie on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/trashtalkteevee Ronnie on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/trashtalktv Ronnie on Tumblr: http://trashtalktvrecaps.tumblr.com/ Ben on the Web: http://www.bsideblog.com Ben on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/bsideblog Ben on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/bsideblog See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Don't let someone steal your great idea. Register a domain name now and put your idea online. GoDaddy is offering OneNew or Transfer.com for the low price of $2.95.

Whether you're building your dream business or starting a website for fun, visit GoDaddy.com and enter WWC295 at checkout. It's go time. Some limitations apply. See website for details. Again, the code is WWC295. Get it? Because it's like, watch what crap

ends 295 because it's $2.95 for whatever you're going to buy. Well, it has to be a new.com or transfer. I just got that. I'm glad you explained it. So original. Why don't you just start a website about how original that deal is? So everyone, godaddy.com WWC2952.95,

and you get a new or transfer.com for the low price of $2.95. Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crappens, the podcast about all the crap we love to talk about on Bravo. I'm Ronnie Karam from TrashTalkTV.com, and I'm joined today with the lovely and talented Ben Mandelker. Ben, hello. Hi, hi, hi. Hi, everyone. Ben's from B-SideBlog.com, and he's fresh from the gym drinking a lovely protein shake. I am.

So congrats on that, Ben. It's my ode to Jackie Warner. I just had a corn chip salad. It was delicious. It's an ode to Kathy Wakile, I'm sure. That's an ode to the monsoons yeah in general so you can find me

well you can find our podcast Watch What Crappens everywhere that has podcasts if you want to talk to us and interact with other listeners you can go to our Facebook page which is facebook.com slash watch what crappens and everyone should do that

and also you should join us over on the tweetar we don't really tweet all that which is facebook.com slash watch what crappens. And everyone should do that. Yeah, you guys should all do that. And also, you should join us over on the Tweetar. We don't really tweet all that much. We're much better on Facebook. But if you do want to throw us some stuff on Twitter, we are at what crappens. My website, Trash Talk TV, is at Trash Tweet TV on Twitter. You can get recap updates and all that good stuff.

And my personal is Ronnie Karam. And I think that's all I have to tell you. Oh, Tumblr is Trash Talk TV Recaps. And Benjamin, you can find everywhere on social media at B-Side Blog. Yeah, and by the way, so the Watch What Crappens Facebook page, I think we're approaching 2,500 likes, which is awesome. I can't wait to see who's going to be number 2,500. But I'm even more excited to get to 3,000. So rally, people, rally! Yeah, we're at 2430, so hopefully 70 of you can say like.

Yeah. Only 25. Yeah, come on, guys. So everybody, hi! I've been gone off and on for a long time. It's so great to be here. I know, welcome back. Are you going to be here for a few more weeks or are you going to fly the coop again? No, I'm back. Yay. Ticker tape parade.

Yes. I have to because no one in the real world, if I start talking about a housewife show, they look at me like, hey, I'm the giantest faggot that ever walked the earth. And yes, I did say faggot. And I did say giantest as well. I doubled down on ignorance. Yeah, that's good. As you should. No one will let me talk about Housewives and I'm shocked

to find out how many people don't watch TV at all. Yeah, it's becoming a thing. More and more people saying, oh yeah, no, I don't have a cable anymore. I just watch the Apple TV. I don't have cable anymore but I still find a way to watch my Housewives. How could you not?

Especially this week. Everything was so hilarious. Yeah, everything was pretty good. All the Housewives shows are pretty good at the moment. Do you have any gossip you want to talk about? Yeah, there are a few things. First, the new Real Housewives of New Jersey trailer has gone up. It's like four and a half minutes long.

For real? For real. It came up today, and a half minutes long. For real? For real. It came up today. And it looks pretty good. It looks even more Jersey-ish than ever. And tacky, tacky women. Remember the first season of the show, Danielle Staub was the only crazy Jersey-ite.

And then Teresa, her crazy Jersey-ness had still not really come to, really hadn't matured yet. But now we've got a cast of all super Jersey women. Crazy Jerseyness had still not really come to, really hadn't matured yet. But now we've got a cast of all super Jersey women. These are basically women who had previously lined up to get onto Jerseylicious, and now they've somehow wound up on this show. It's that Jersey-ish. Well, I have not seen the preview, but I saw a picture of all the ladies,

and I was just so thankful to not see a Manzo or a Loretta trying to shove themselves into a sausage casing yeah well well you're half correct because there was uh no caroline and no jacklyn but there is dina manzo she is back uh oh yeah i don't mind her she's not trying to squeeze into a sausage dress tube dress or whatever it's like caroline manzo i know you have your own show now i hope they don't let you wear tube dresses. Stop. I know. Now what they don't have, so Caroline's gone, Jacqueline's

gone, Kathy, dearest Kathy is gone. But we have Melissa, we have Teresa, and we have Dina. And then we have, there are two new women who are twins, whose voices sound like little buzz saws. They're very, like, they seem like they're probably frequenters of

Posh. There's also some girl who had cancer who was one of Melissa's old friends. Oh, God. Another housewife so we get to talk about cancer. Well, it's kind of funny because the girl's like, I haven't seen you in so long. You never even called

me during my cancer. And Melissa's like, what cancer? I'm like, great friend. Did you put it on the Twitter? Yeah, I think there might be one other new woman. I don't know. Actually, no, it's probably six. People on Housewives shows

are talking so much about cancer that when people really have cancer, I'm just going to be like, I don't want to hear about it cancer is the new bikini waxing on Housewives I should say the new plaque everyone just has it or thinks they have it and they'll make a storyline out of it even if they just think it okay before we get to that I want to talk about some of this Atlanta stuff that's flying around because atlanta was probably one of the most fun seasons

they've had wait and wait one one quick thing if you want to see that jersey trailer it's on the facebook page facebook.com forward slash watch what crap happens go on oh okay um atlanta so all of that stuff so i wasn't really here to talk about all that Atlanta stuff, and I won't make everybody listen to it. I know it's long over. But Nene, oh, my God. What the hell, Nene, with your homophobic ass? Who do you think is keeping your moose ass on TV? The gay people, all right?

There's like a few black ladies and the gays. All right, that's it. Yeah. You better watch it, bitch. Well, I mean, there are all these rumors that she is going to be fired or has been fired, and she even sent out a tweet that seemed to allude to

that, saying, like, my best advice is not to stay in a job where you're unhappy, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, as if somehow this was her choice. Of course it was not. She clearly was fired. I mean, I hope she was fired. Well, they say that she was let go because she was asking to, like, i hope she was fired um well they say that she was they say she was let go because she was asking to like demand she was demanding you know filming partners like she

was specifying who she would film with and who she wouldn't and she wanted to make more money and blah blah blah it's like bitch you're terrible you're a horrible human being bye bye bitch you've been replaced by kenya more bye yeah well, well, she is a terrible human being. She demands too much money. I mean, her quote is too high. She probably makes too many demands. She's probably a huge pain in the ass. And now that Kenya's there, they just really don't need her anymore.

So, yeah. If she's not going to make any effort to do anything, girl, bye. Bye, Felicia. Oh, speaking of stealing lines from people, Kenya Moore, who's been calling Nene a moose for like 10 years? Watch what crap happens. Okay, Kenya Moore, you better give some credit. You need to give credit to Friday and watch what crap happens.

Okay, bitch? Because now I feel like I'm copying people when I call her the moose. Well, I made sure last week to point out that you always called her the moose first. Don't worry, we got your back. Oh, no, just the show, okay? Well, I made sure last week to point out that you always called her the moose first. The moose. Don't worry. We got your back. Oh, no. Just the show, okay?

I don't need personal credit. Kenya will never give you credit. Show credit. Show credit will work. She's like, they didn't invent Friday. God did on day five. Shut up, Kenya Moore. Yeah, shut up.

And Nini needs to shut up, too. Has Nini learned nothing from Mandisa? Remember Mandisa on American Idol? She was this big black gospel singer with an amazing voice that the gays were all ready to embrace. And then she basically gets kicked off the show and announces that she's super Christian and doesn't believe in gay marriage. Talk about girl bye. Girl bye. Don't you realize, Mandisa, we like we are your audience yeah what are you doing

i don't know why would you ruin your career with something so stupid and now there's there's this whole big war that's like holy war of people like there is against our religious freedom to have to be nice to gay people and the gay p the gay mafia is getting people fired because they listen it's not about you being christian it's about you saying that people shouldn't have equal rights okay and if you're gonna hide behind your religion as your excuse for that then fuck you you should fucking get fired for your job if you say that shit publicly where did you grow up when did that be okay yeah I'm sure that those same people if they were in a foreign country and they were discriminated against because of their religion and

and the people who were doing the discriminating said well you know you know, it's against our religion to be nice to you. I'm sure they wouldn't be all of a sudden very empathetic about that. Yeah, it's silly. I think these people are giving Christians a bad name. Christians do a lot of good things in this world. People stop fucking with their reputations, with your ignorant views, all right? Jerks.

Okay, so I don't even know why we're on that because the difference with Nene is that she was not being religious. She was just being a bitch and basically saying the gays are whining all the time and she doesn't owe them shit and then when she's like i already apologized okay and then andy was like well do you think that's sincere and she's like do you want me to pull your pants down and kiss your ass i was like bye bitch yes that is what he expected bye yeah exactly she has has a lot to learn about being humble and giving a humble apology. And when she wonders why no one says that she can apologize properly, maybe she should look at the video.

Maybe she should look at the footage of Teresa Giudice and see why people also hate her. Because it's the same level of delusion and that same lack of accountability. Yeah, stupid. Just take your car and move on. Ramona. Speaking of awful people um mark sort who's not awful he's one of our uh listeners he wrote on our facebook page that he went to sir i think it was last night and uh he saw stassi out of uniform there so so much for stassi's big

move to the to uh new york you Well, maybe she's just visiting, guys. Yeah, I don't know. You know, Lisa Vanderpump's restaurant, Pump, opened up last night. And I feel like all my friends were at the premiere. They're posting pictures of it everywhere on Instagram. But guess who did not get an invitation? Yours truly. And I'm assuming neither did you.

Why would I get invited? Because we are Bravo experts. But all we do is talk about how shitty it is. Why would they invite us anywhere? We love Lisa Vanderpump, though. That's true. But Lisa Vanderpump is very good at being sarcastic, but that bitch cannot take a joke.

She has private messaged me twice now on Twitter because I've made... I don't even know why I follow her on Twitter. My old boss at TVgasm followed every reality star ever. So some, you know, I see all their crap. And sometimes I'll make a smart ass comment. Like one time she said she made some comment about breastfeeding your child when it's too old. And I made a comment and she tweeted me.

I was just joking. I don't like that everyone takes me so seriously. I was like, it's sarcasm, Lisa. Calm down, Lisa Vanderpump! Um, what are we talking about, guys? There's other gossip on the page, but why don't we get into the shows?

Yeah, I just wanted to talk about NeNe finally getting fired, that dumb bitch. Bye, NeNe! No one's gonna miss you. I hope you get another job where you get to play all of your family and suck at it really bad. You're miss you I hope you get another job where you get to play all of your family and suck at it really bad you're terrible I hope you just go away

please go away go back to the pole Nene back to the pole Moose by the way I am sad that are we gonna watch Candy's wedding cause I really don't want to

I hate the wedding spin-offs but it would be a good chance for me to do more Candy impersonations oh we have to watch it because Mama Joyce is on there that's true we were just gonna watch that's my money but it would be a good chance for me to do more candy impersonations oh we have to watch it because mama joyce is on there that's true we were just gonna watch my money i saved my money you know i made uh you know our friend uh uh who goes by sly you know our very imperial friend

no my friend mainly with the long hair who's often i hang out with all the time um what what else you know the one who talks like this oh yes yes so the other day i was doing the candy i had a nigerian berry today who knew yeah yeah so i'm sorry i'm being so cryptic everyone she doesn't like having her name mentioned on podcasts and blogs but um uh she doesn't watch these shows because she's more of an npr quality uh entertainment person not a bravo reality show person oh god because it's so quality on npr they're like today that a bomb went off in k-tar i'm like oh god who cares so like yesterday or two days ago she's like who's who's the one? Who's that person you do? And she just goes, yeah. I'm like, you mean Candy?

She's like, yeah. Yeah, one. Say it now. Roll it. Well, I have a feeling that Candy will not be posted on the Internet. I just have a feeling. I'm basically with my Bravo watching. I refuse to pay for Bravo because it's ruining my life.

And I will not, I will only watch what's posted on the internet, which basically leaves us Real Housewives. Yeah, exactly. And I'm sure that Ladies of London bullshit will be here as well. Yeah, Ladies of London. Oh, by the way, happy birthday, Paula Watt. And we have one more thing to say that we

haven't said, and we've put it off for so long that I can't even find it in our emails. But the soap lady. What is soap lady's name? Some lady sent us soap. It was so nice. Jackie. Jackie, you little soap lady.

Okay, Jackie, I never said thank you on air for the soap because I never gave Ben his soap. Yeah, I didn't even know about the soap until right this moment. Yeah, so her name is Jackie the Soap Lady, but let me see if she... She didn't even give us a website thing. But Jackie, if you put it on our page, I will share it, because that is some wonderful soap.

Well, Jackie, I'm sure it's wonderful, and I trust Ronnie on this, and I thank my fellow podcaster for sharing the soap. Yeah, I don't see Ben in real life. That's true. Although I did invite him over tonight for Thanksgiving in May. Yeah, you invited me the day of Thanksgiving in May,

which means this shit has been planned for weeks at a time. Well, it has been, but that's also because I haven't seen you for weeks at a time, and every time I want to do something with you, you are working. You're working.

Work is so stupid, by the way. See, now, Riley. Riley's going to come to Thanksgiving in May. I will drag you down the street by your hair, Ben. That is wrong, Ben. See, now, we're going to serve a lot of fixings and serve on rye for Riley. Rye bread for Riley. See, now, that's some good carbs. Rye for Riley. Rye bread for Riley. See?

Now, that's some good carbs. Juicy. Okay, let's start with Married to Medicine. Whoa, okay. All right, we'll start with there. All right. Start with the least entertaining show of them all. I'm finding Married to Medicine pretty entertaining for some reason.

I normally hate it. It is entertaining, but this week of the three shows it was the least entertaining actually if anything i thought married to medicine had a lot of sweet moments it did not have any sweet moments that show okay first of all i have not been able to chime in on this new bitch lisa is that her name lisa she's the one she she sounds like the call today that I might have cancer. And I am really upset about it. But I have a charity event. So I am going to push through. Because women with cancer need to push through things.

Even if it's just cancer. On a charity. I'm like, shut up. Hey, cupcakes. Yeah, no, I agree. I was about to say. She always sounds like she's on public access. You know.

She's always reading the teleprompter. Ladies, it is super important to respect each other as women. Even when she's not reading the teleprompter, when she's talking to her kids, she's like, does anybody want to pray for me? Because I may have cancer. It makes me crazy that she's, like, the nice one. She's, like, brought on as the nice, sweet one. when she just basically used a fake cancer storyline as our first foray. It's like, well, you know that people really have cancer, right?

And they don't use it. She had a cancer scare. You know what? She had a cancer scare. I do not believe for one second that bitch had a cancer scare the first week of filming a new reality show. Not for one second. I do. This was not a Jax Taylor cancer scare

or a Kim Zolciak cancer scare. This seemed like a real one. Here's my theory. It was that she was probably supposed to be friend of, but the cancer thing was such a real story that they just happened to catch that they're like, oh, let's just promote her up to main character.

There's no way, no way she would have been main if she didn't have a cancer scare because i thought that seemed very real and um i empathized with it and i thought it was i i was i didn't at all i thought it was totally fake that is completely bizarre that she just happened to have a cancer scare the first like the second episode that she's on a new reality show and not only is it when she's on a reality show it's when she's about to speak at a women's empowerment concert whatever event where she can talk about possibly having cancer you know there are real people with cancer can we hear from them okay i don't want to hear what it's like to maybe

possibly have cancer because you're on a reality show okay put dr jackie upper or dr heavenly who you can google by the way the line of the, the line of the episode was when, after Dr. Heavenly made her way onto the panel, which was hilarious that she did that. That was one of the funniest things on this series ever, that she just walked up and decided that, oh, I deserve to be on this panel, so I'm going to sit here and I'm going to be there. But then when she does her little spiel, which she says very little, just that she likes Lisa and she's so empowered by people. And then she says,

Dr. Heavenly, Google me. And then Dr. Simone's like, Google you? Like, why not to Google you? Like, you selling chickens? They just give away free chickens? That whole sequence was hilarious because Dr. Heavenly's offended that her dentist ass was not asked to speak.

And so she walked up there anyway. And so Jackie, instead of telling her to get the fuck off the stage, goes, I would like to introduce a very important dentist. She's taking care of lots of plaque. But before I do, I want to say that being fat is terrible. And if you're fat, you're going to die young. And fat is killing America. It's killing African-American women. And if Dr. Heavenly says that she's thin, I just want to remind everyone that I'm thin.

And if you look at her, she's actually quite fat. Thank you. If I stand behind her, you wouldn't see me. You know that's what she's thinking. So I would like to introduce a fat person to pretend to talk about health during this conference. I would like now to introduce you to someone who is going to die before me because she's fat. Thank you. I would fight with someone, but I don't like fighting with people who've probably got heart disease. So let's please welcome Heavenly.

I would like to introduce you to someone who's fat and therefore lazy, which is why she only went to dental school and not to real medical school. Thank you. Fat people are now getting handicap stickers on their car, and I will not mock a handicapped person before they speak. Heavenly? And while I am very envious that she has a child, I'm not envious of her child because it came from a fat mother.

So, I mean, really, you're just going to have fat going on fat. I would like to say Heavenly has a beautiful daughter. I hope she doesn't have nightmares, go to bed with her parents, and end up a waffle. Because some fat person will probably eat it and die young of heart disease. Heavenly? And one more remark before I introduce Dr. Heavenly.

I just want to say she has a lovely daughter, and I hope she doesn't gain another pound for the rest of her life. Thank you. Her weight right now is ideal. Thank you, Heavenly. Oh, my God. But, I mean, obviously, I like Dr. Jackie, even with her crazy, you know, anorexia-inducing views.

She gives lots of people eating disorders. I still like her. love dr jackie since when is it bad that your doctor calls you fat that's happened my whole life i don't get mad at the doctor it's not his fault by the way in stupid bravo there was a scene when dr jackie and dr simone were talking and they were talking in like medical terms they were talking about ablations and this and that and you know obviously i i i felt like an idiot but instead of like bravo making me feel like an idiot bravo made them look like idiots they play like the stupid like you know like the survivor music the coconut music i call it when there's like someone who's confused

you see a crab staring at them like what the fuck you know this is the music they were playing she's like well she was dilated and i've got the the abdução ablations about it and the music was like like oh look at these stupid people talking in their twinsie talk. Like, no problem. Andy, don't make fun of them. Like, this is the most intelligent thing we've ever heard on this network.

It's like accomplished black women, like, speaking in very esoteric terms. Like, don't, don't, don't, like, infantilize that. Yeah. That's hilarious. I wrote down a couple things. For some reason today they're all about fake cancer, but Lisa sang over and over.

Cispaceration. Wait, was it? Cispaceration, right? She's like, cispaceration. I might have a cispaceration and I have to get a cispaceration of the sasperation. And then I'm going to get some sasperillo. Sasapras. Sasapras.

Because I didn't know my sasperation. My doctor gave me a sasapras lollipop. And I found that very empowering. And then at the end, when she finds out she doesn't have cancer magically, because she never was told she probably did, but she finds out she didn't have cancer magically because she never was told she probably did. But she finds out she didn't have cancer and her husband goes, oh, baby, we beat it. No, you did not beat it. You are not cancer survivors, all right?

Stop it. We beat it. You both need to sit the fuck down. Okay, now we have to talk about this Mariah Quad fight because that shit was great. The Mariah Quad fight is fantastic. First of all mariah i'm obviously team like quad i i feel like quad looks like she's devastated by this like i i believe quad is devastated i don't think it's an act mariah is the one who's like she had to like

after all that fighting she finally got her got herself to a place where she could sort of cry but my favorite was when she finally like stormed. She's like, I am at a woman's empowerment conference, and I'm not living until I am empowered. I'm going to listen to Dr. Heavenly talk about dentistry. Okay, first, my thoughts were, we forget that Quad is fucking psychopathic. She is. Because

we've had time of her just being fabulous and calm and stuff. We forget that her first episode, don't you remember when she was coming down the stairs in her first episode fabulous and calm and stuff we forget that her first episode don't you remember when she was coming down the stairs in her first episode and they were playing that song like the bitch is trouble yeah she had her own theme music like about being a crazy bitch and then she was a crazy bitch and then she kind of learned to calm down somehow magically and i forgot that side of her was there until we're at a female empowerment. In the tranquility suite.

In the tranquility suite. And you would think out of anyone, she's been staying somewhat calm about all of this. And then the second she sees Mariah, and it's not even crying. It's sobbing crying. It's... Sobbing. You hurt me. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. Like, really?

It was that bad? Really? I know. She... I'm still on her side though, although Mariah did have the best line of Lassik when she said I will not get off my chariot and throw tomatoes with you. And then she whips out

the paper towels. That wasn't even a handkerchief. It was like a roll of paper towels. That wasn't even a handkerchief. It was like a roll of paper towels. This isn't a show. This is about my life. Which is, by the way, a very Breaking the Fourth Wall

moment, I'd like to add. They've shown that in the coming, this season, on Married to Medicine previews. That it was over something so stupid that we didn't even see, and we don't even know what that fight really is, except Mariah, she's like, you said you made me! She's like, no, I said I discovered you.

Like, what are you even fighting about? I gave you a platform. As if she's freaking, like, you know, like, they're running for office. Like, I gave you a platform to share your thoughts on things, like, things like Chloe, your dog and what little outfits you're going to make for her

oh my god, your dog's at shit in offices during business meetings are we at pooches in Paris or are we in the hood one of my favorite quotes from last season I'm trying to remember the things that quad was saying um that was cracking me up because they were they were just quite a more i mean they both really really cracked me up and their fight what what's the the they keep showing a clip over and over again where mariah says i invented you and. And then Quad's response to that is something like, and fuck you.

She's like, she said, bitch, I made you. And I said, bitch, fuck you. I love that. You know what? Also during that suite, Simone and Toya made up, which I thought that was a nice moment. I liked it. Toya, God, that poor thing is just so stupid. What I should have did was apologize earlier.

Should have done. The correct English is should have done. You are not the Kazar of grammar. You are not the Kazar of grammar. I have came here to talk the way I want to talk. That's the way I pronounce Kazar, and that's the way I say it. I should have did it that way, and that's

how I should have did it. Toria is so stupid. It is going to be so fun to watch this bitch go broke. Oh yeah, I was about to say, when they lose everything, it will be fantastic. I hope this show is on long enough for her to lose everything. And I know that's a horrible thing to wish on somebody, but

we're talking about Toria, so... I should have... I'll tell you what I should have done. I should have saved my money. I tell him, don't worry, baby. It's all taken care of. We don't bring him because he look at price tag. That's what she does when she walks around the furniture shop. She looks at things.

I think she likes it. She goes, ugh. I think she doesn't like it. She goes, ugh. Ugh, ugh doesn't like it. She goes, ugh. Ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh. I have to come here to find a well seat. I have come here. I have came here to find a sofa.

I have to come here. Oh, and I love that she goes to this, like, extravagant furniture store and she's like, you know what? I like books. I like big picture books. So we're going to get a couple of those big picture books. We'll be back for the rest. And those bitches are like, well, thanks. Thanks for the three hours of following you around

the store so you could buy a Chanel book. You know what she reminds me of? There's this girl on Vine. I'm Sky Townsend, and she does this thing where she looks at different things in her apartment and she picks up a box of Frosted Flakes and she goes, ooh, Frosted Flakes! And she picks up a box

of Goline cereal and she's like, ooh, Goline! That's what to me Toya is like. Goline! It's a funny scene. I'm looking to see what number podcast this is. Did you know that this is our 127th episode?

Wow, that means we've been doing this for more than two years. Wow. Even more if you include House of Hodown. Oh my gosh, I don't. Wait, did I say it's 127th? I think so. What brought on the spate of nostalgia, Ronnie? Because I'm doing our photoshopped picture that we can use for our podcast today. And I'm going to psychically predict that we're going to talk a lot about Real Housewives of Orange County.

So I'm putting that blonde lady from that show on. Oh, my goodness. Real Housewives of Orange County and Real Housewives of New York City were so hilarious. New York City was perhaps the best hour of comedy on TV this week. And OC had perhaps the best 25 minutes of comedy in the last half. It was both shows were so, so, so funny. Which one do you want to talk about? I want to talk about whatever you want to talk about.

Ronnie, I want to know what you want to talk about. Let's start with New York because it was last night. Okay. We're going to make people wait to get to the chair gate because the chair gate is too good to... I don't know. I don't know what I'm saying. This heat has got me flustered. So New York was hilarious.

It was part two of this Berkshire's vacation, which is turning into Scary Island. It's like Scary Mountain. And gosh, the Ramona show continued. Totally unapologetic about flinging a champagne glass at Kristen's face. Now, to be fair, Kristen was getting a little tiresome. About halfway into the episode, I was getting a little tiresome about halfway into the episode. I was getting a little sick of Kristen being like, that's my face! That's my face!

You know? But Ramona also was being totally over the edge. She was kind of a drama queen, but just acknowledge it so we can move on. I blame Ramona for the fact that we had to listen to that It's My Face thing a million times. Because she just wouldn't say she's sorry. Who can't just say I'm sorry like there's no way around it you threw a glass at someone's face

ramona just say you're sorry technically she said she was sorry but it wasn't really it wasn't it was a conditional apology she was like well you threw something at you know you threw something at my face and so i threw something back you initiated it because i told you i didn't want something in my hair and then you threw something in my hair and so I threw a glass at your face because it's what I had in my hand and so it's completely natural. It was instinctual. It wasn't something mean. It was something that was instinct. I told you. I told you not to put, not to get water in my hair. I told you not to get water in my hair and you splashed me. You splashed me. Are you going to get mad at a cat for licking its own vagina? No, you don't do that. Why? Because it's instinctual. The cat has a vagina it you threw something at me i threw something at you it was instinct i'm like a cat don't splash my hair don't splash my hair that was hilarious and by the way my favorite line of that episode was this little cutaway line where sonia of course is chiming in and she's like what is she right i have to look it up because it's such a funny line i i want to make sure i i honor it properly but um they're basically all you know because they can't stop talking about

this this stupid stupid situation about how kristin splashed ramona ramona responds so then sonja goes it's very immature to splash i stopped splashing a long time ago like she had like a like a bat mitzvah and like it was like a splash mitzvah and when that happened there was no more splashing she became a woman and then carol's like what she's like oh well like when i was like 11 like oh come on sony you haven't splashed a single person since you were 11 you suddenly realized the maturity of the situation and not a single time not when you were frogging around naked in the pool last year did you splash anyone. And by the way, for the record, she probably splashed Aviva.

Someone should go back to that episode and see who she splashed. Because I guarantee both of them splashed someone. Just to have that clip for a flashback. I know. It's a splash flashback. She wanted a reaction. You want a reaction from me? Then I'll give you a reaction.

It's not my fault. She threw something at my face. I gave her a reaction. You want a reaction from me? Then I'll give you a reaction. It's not my fault. She threw something at my face. I gave her a reaction. That's what she wanted. And then Sonia's like, yeah, I wouldn't want a reaction from you. If you don't want to get bit, your head get bit off, don't poke a lion. I'm like, what? Sonia is, by the way, 100% crazy.

Like, she's just getting crazier and crazier. Maybe it's all that lack of splashing. She's got it pent up in her. Let it out. Let that splash out so she can think clearly again you know it's like when you're horny you know basically if you don't jerk off you can't see clearly like you your logic gets all warped through how is this going to lead me to like some sort of action and then like you jerk off and all of a sudden it's like oh clarity i see everything i have to do today and i know exactly how to do it now i understand that feeling but like with chocolate like with chocolate things yeah i'm like why am i so angry and then i eat ice cream

and i'm like oh this is why people are addicted to food because it makes you feel okay and then i masturbate because i'm so happy that i just ate chocolate absolutely yeah i'm like that with heroin totally you know i'm like that with heroin. Totally. You know, I'm like, why is there a baby on the ceiling? Let me do some heroin. Oh, it's gone. Back to normal.

I love that heroin makes the babies go away from your ceiling. Yeah, it would. It would. You know, I have so many babies on my ceiling. God, you're like Sonia. I know. So, okay. Baby's splashing her. Memories of her childhood when she used to splash.

Now, as all the Housewives shows just basically have all the same stories over and over again every year, played out by different people, it's normal that they go parallel. You know, they parallel each other. Like, is that even a thing? They parallel each other? They mirror each other, maybe, I a thing they parallel each other they marry each other maybe i should say both both it becomes an amalgam of housewife stories uh don't use big words please right now we've got on the oc we've got old lady cast member hating young lady cast member and we've got the same thing happening on this show where this bitch did not have to do anything and ramona automatically hated her because she's young and pretty

yeah what is that i mean these people i think that the housewives this old lady hating young lady for no reason and it's totally becoming acceptable and they're like the old ladies are the heroes i think that's why these disney movies are coming out with like the queens are the heroes. I think that's why these Disney movies are coming out with the queens are the heroes. This one with Angelina Jolie where she just wants Sleeping Beauty dead and she's the hero of the movie. Or that one where they had Snow White and it was that girl from that vampire movie and

everyone hated her and wanted the queen to win. Like the evil Snow White queen. I think that the housewives are turning everything on its ass and the villains are becoming heroes. Alright, let's all just take a moment and think about that. That was so deep. That was deep, right? That was really deep.

That was an amalgam of thoughts. That was. Diverged. You know, thank God for these shows to bring those deep philosophical musings out to the fore. That was deep. That was swimming in the deep end, you guys. Yeah. That was deep.

That was swimming in the deep end, you guys. Yeah. So I feel like the first good chunk of this episode was Ramona and what's her face? Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries' Myhala Herald, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top ten, curated by the headmaster himself.

But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world

of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus.

From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less

In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some. As a fighter for black rights, she is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on

Apple Podcasts. off about it and on top of that this is you know it's her face she's modeling she doesn't have a lot of years left to model why accelerate the decline um that being said i mean so she got like a little blood blister which is annoying but she kept on she kept on poking and prodding it and she was acting as if she just had like contracted leprosy you know it's like you know you're she looks pretty much fine and normal and carol's like what's wrong you got a headache it's like yes i have a headache carol i had a glass thrown at my face? It's like, yes, I have a headache, Carol. I had a glass thrown in my face and it split my lip. Of course I have a headache. Jeez. She's like, hey,

you like that new Kesha song? How could I like that new Kesha song? I had a glass thrown in my face. Was it about your lip bleeding because some horrible old person threw something at it? Then, no, I don't like it. If Kesha has a song about that, I'd love to hear it. Hey, remember that song,

Funky Town? How could I forget it? It's by Lips Incorporated. You know what's also incorporated? My lips, but now they're broken. My corporation is broken. My lips incorporated. By Ramona. Ah! That was so stupid.

I know. But I committed. That was amazing. I know. But I'm... That was amazing. I committed. I committed to a lips incorporated joke. This corporation's been dissolved by Ramona's class. Of course I'm mad. Oh, God.

Another favorite thing that everybody on these shows does is they'll take anything and make it about themselves. So Ramona's ramona's big thing turned out to be well i was abused as a child well i wasn't abused but my parents fought a lot and it really made me uncomfortable because they would fight and i would get scared and then i remember one time my dad did something to me and um he threw a glass at something and then so now when she did that i threw a glass because it's like my abusive father she's like one time one time my father was doing the dishes and he was splashing in the sink.

And I thought, oh, my God, it's all happening again. And so that's what happened. When she splashed in the pond, that brought back memories of my father doing dishes. So, of course, I had to throw a dish at the beast. Which I feel like I feel like I'm becoming my father. You are not your father, Ramona. Don't say that. You are not your father, Ramona. Don't say that. You are not your father, Ramona.

Sonia, meanwhile, was like, making it all about herself. She was crying. Don't you? You've come so far in 20 years, Ramona Singer. You are not your dad. You are not your dad. Which I still...

Because if you were, I'd really like to fuck you well my father you know my father he never liked she never liked champagne glasses so when i threw a champagne glass at christian i was like throwing it at my father because i knew he didn't like he didn't like champagne okay so that's why i did it okay so that's you know I was like throwing something that my father hated at my father. It was a way for me to grow as a person, actually. And the fact that Kristen does not actually understand that, okay, is actually sort of rude. I think it's a little rude. Who told you I wanted you to throw water at my face?

Who gave you permission to throw water at my face? Who? Nobody. No one! You know, my mother always said I had to stand up for myself. So if I get splashed, I'm not supposed to get splashed because I just did my hair. So, okay, I had to throw a glass at her. Okay, it's her fault. Oh, she is the worst. Never mind the fact the reason why Kristen splashed her was because Ramona was talking shit about her seconds before.

Ramona's like, you know, she just sits there. She doesn't really do anything. She just sort of sits there. She sits there and is quiet. She's just a pretty face. I don't really know her. She's just sort of like a nothing, you in this quiet she's a pretty face i don't really know her she's just like a nothing you know so of course she's gonna go splash her yeah so really you you were provoking quote unquote well i love that it's like some mystery abuse storyline because ramona hasn't really said that her dad is abusive she's

just kind of alluded to it all she said is that her parents fight but it's like okay so what happened one time how does it remind you of your father like did your was your father's abuse splashing you like honestly what is the trigger here is it the splash because that's what you're saying over and over and you understand that that makes no sense right everything was the trigger she like saw some branches it's just like oh my, it's all coming back to me right now. Trees. We had trees growing up. There were trees. I'm remembering it all right now. I came out here and I was a

kid and, you know, I was just in the forest so I had to rely on my imagination. I'm like, guess who else does that? Every other fucking kid on earth who's ever been born, okay? That's what kids do. Yeah. I would make mud pies. That's what I would have to do. You know what I'd have to do? I'd have to play. I'd have to play without the children, okay? That's what kids do. Yeah. I would make mud pies. That's what I would have to do. You know what I'd have to do? I'd have to play. I'd have to play with other children.

Okay? That's something that my parents made me do. They made me play. They made me go to school. Okay? This is what would happen. It's all coming back to me. I can't.

Kristen reminds me of one of these imaginary friends I had. And every time I would talk to it, it wouldn't talk back to me because it was imaginary. And I'd be like, that's rude. You know? Like, I know you're imaginary, but you could at least talk back to me. And she never would talk back to me. And she was so pretty. And she was, like, younger than me. And I was like, maybe least talk back to me. And she never would talk back to me. And she was so pretty. And she was, like, younger than me.

And I was like, maybe she's not talking to me because she's younger than me or something. And so Kristen makes me think of that. And I don't like her. Heather. Heather is making me hug a tree right now. And I can't because, you know what, I used to have to hug my father. And you know what, that was, like, a very difficult thing for me. And I don't hug people now as a result.

And if I have to hug someone, I actually throw glass in their face their face instead also it's making me really uncomfortable watching Sonia hug that tree so I'm going to call that tree's mother and I'm going to tell her about Sonia hugging that tree and then hopefully that tree will go away and Sonia can't hug it anymore because really I mean like who's a good for it nobody whoa whoa see that leaf over there that leaf okay no this is crazy now that leaf over there that leaf looks a lot like a leaf that I saw as a child. Oh, this is all coming back to me. Oh, my God. That leaf.

Oh, I don't know if I can. I just can't do it. It's all very fast. So I'm sorry. Like, that leaf has to go. I can't be near that leaf. I got to go. I got to go.

I got to go. I got to go. This is freaking me out right now. I got to go. Hey, you see that caterpillar? You see that caterpillar? You see that caterpillar? That caterpillar reminds me of a time when my father was walking around. Just like that caterpillar's walking around.

It's too much. It's crazy. It's all coming back to me right now. I like when Sonya's like, you have never seen your mother with her head in the toilet bowl. First of all, that's assuming a lot. Yeah, and by the way, we've all had our head in toilet bowls. This plunger,

I can't even look at this plunger right now. It's all coming back to me. This plunger, when it's in the toilet, it reminds me of the time that I was in the toilet. Reminds me of the time when I clogged the toilet and my dad was so mad, he said, unclog that toilet, I will never forget it. One time, I was in the bathroom on the toilet and I heard my parents fighting. And now every time I go in and try and drop a do, I can't do it.

It just reminds me of my parents fighting. I haven't gone poop since 1963. One time, I was in the toilet and when I went poop, it splashed a little bit on my butt. And I immediately took the toilet paper and threw it at the it splashed a little bit on my butt and i immediately took the toilet paper and threw it at the door it's just i'm sorry it's like you know what you know what if the door didn't want to get hit with the toilet paper it's you know what then maybe maybe my poop shouldn't splash me i said i did not want my butt wet sorry okay i haven't pooped since 1963 and so because i don't poop i have to get colonics and one time i went to get a colonic

and they put a hose up my butt. It reminded me of this time that my father splashed me with a hose, and I started crying. And I called one of my friends with his own private bicycle, and I had him bicycle me out of there. His best. When my father used to splash me with a straw, what I would do is I would take a piece of paper, and I would fold it, fold it in half, and then in a quarter, and I'd make a little paper airplane, and then I'd pretend I was flying

on it and I was being flown away to somewhere else. Okay? So it's like very important for me that I get onto a plane right now because it's like living out it's a therapy. It's what I've always needed was a real plane, not a paper plane. I'm sorry, but that's what I need. Calm down.

Take a Xanax. One time I was eating in a diner with my father and he took the wrapper off a straw and it was all scrunched up. And then he put some water on, he splashed some water on it so it would look like a snake. And ever since I've been afraid of being splashed and snakes. One time, one time it was raining. Okay. It was raining. I remember this like it was day. And my dad walked in and he said, it's wet out there. And then I went and I felt the rain and I knew it was wet. And I threw something at my father because I knew he was making it happen. And so I'm sorry.

It's just, you know, it's what I feel. So, you know, if Kristen didn't, if she didn't want to have a glass in her face, she should have gotten me wet and remind me of when it would rain. There's a reason that I'm not religious. And it's because one time I was outside and it was raining and I was like, God splashed me. What God would do that? No God. There's no God.

One time I peed and I told my dad I was, I was raining out of my, out of my V and I thought I had my own weather system down there. And my dad said, no, that's impossible because you're a human and you're not a deity. And I always resented him for that. And I never realized until I got here that that's what I've really been feeling all these years. Oh my God. Ramona Singer. So as we alluded to, Ramona called her friend

and flew off, flew out of the Berkshires. Speaking of triggers, I love that Carol was the one to take her to the airport. Yeah, seriously. Like, what kind of plane is this? My friends love to planes. She didn't even start crying. I was like, listen, if you are going to be a housewife, you are going to have to start sobbing every time you see planes. All right.

You need to learn the game, bitch. Well, Aviva took her plane Thunder. Yeah. But, you know, to learn the game, bitch. Well, Aviva took her plane thunder. Yeah. But, you know, that whole thing from last season. And Aviva, by the way, is out of the opening credits. She's on a three-week hiatus, I believe. That's what I heard, because she refused to go on vacation with the girls. Yes, and that was another rumor that's been swirling around this week,

is that they're changing the way they're doing this housewives thing, and no one's getting contracts anymore. They're getting, like, seven-week. They're not getting full season contracts supposedly they're all getting seven week contracts to i guess keep them in line like to keep them performing so whatever that means that's smart that's very very smart um or disgusting depending on like if you beat somebody up you get another you get to stay. Yeah, absolutely. Defending myself against my dad.

Did your dad abuse you with splashing? Don't touch my hair. Oh, I love that she's going. And you know what the problem is? That she was touching my hair. And then meanwhile, Sonia is tossing Ramona's hair around. Yeah, with a brush. Sonia doesn't even know where she is. That's not even a big deal.

So, her lip was bleeding. One time, I split my lip on a shotgun. Yeah. That's fair. Yeah, you know. I split my lip all the time with a shotgun. The recoil. That was good.

I just could only think, honey, if you split your lips on it instead of having your brain spill out the back of your head you were doing it wrong all right someone helped ramona with suicide this is crazy oh gosh kristen was ridiculous i reacted to you so i'm sort of sorry oh that apology well i ask you to get wet okay Okay, Fat Elvis, I guess, is the next thing. Oh, yeah. Fat Elvis comes in. Real fat. Real not Elvis-y. Real John Lovet-sy.

I thought it was hilarious. I thought it was funny how Kristen is so obsessed with Elvis that even the worst Elvis makes her giddy. You could see she was acting as if the real Elvis had walked in. Yeah, she was really excited. And I love that Ramona's, like, yelping the Berkshires now. She's like, what? Is this the best the Berkshires have to offer? That Elvis was so fat. Someone wrote a comment

on our Facebook page. I'm sorry I don't have your name, but she was like, I love the way that Ramona talks about the Berkshires as if it's Auschwitz. It's true. She's like, I remember this. I remember this street. I'm going to our Facebook page now

actually to read some comments because we said, what do you guys want to discuss? And I haven't even looked at it once. I'm about to rectify that. So once Ramona was gone, then the girls all went out on a boat and Sonia was trying to seduce this 20-year-old. It's so sad watching Sonia do her seduction.

I mean, she looks fantastic. She does look fantastic. But, I mean, she has to realize what she looks like to a 20-year-old because she could not have made more of a fool of herself. Oh, God, that was so embarrassing. Can I have your number? She's like, let's split digits, yo. Yeah.

I'm going to tweet you later. And then the best was that they later went to a restaurant, and they found pictures of Ramona at this party in the Hamptons. And then they're like, oh, shit. All this psychological stuff, it wasn't real. She just wanted to go to this party in the Hamptons that's why you know it's too convenient that she had a plane ready to go um the timing was too perfect um and what i loved was luann immediately jumped in and was like well you know i think we should have an adventure and confront her to her face you know

that luann's been waiting for this moment for years well she tried to do it last year didn't she didn't she orchestrate something where all the girls came up against Ramona? It doesn't work because Ramona doesn't listen. Like, there's no way you could do it. Ramona will just talk over you, start saying you're all mean, and she does. We've seen the previews from next week where she's like,

this is, you're confronting me? I don't like this. I don't... I can't wait. That looks so hilarious. She's like... I love watching Ramona get uncomfortable as if she's in an elevator that will never open up again. I left because it was uncomfortable,

Luan! So that show gives me a fucking headache, but it is really fun to watch now that everybody's just accepted that Ramona's crazy and no one takes her seriously and they just kind of watch her go, you know? And I'm really enjoying Heather trying to talk black by leaving the G off the end of words. Like, Heather, is that your street, really? She's like, hey, guys, let's go camping.

Like, oh, yeah, your street, Heather. You win. Or like the time when she said motherfucker and they're like, ooh, now we know why Diddy employed her. Wow, she's tough. I also thought it was funny how Sonia was like sticking up for Ramona, and then the moment that Ramona's at this party, she's like, well, I've been betrayed. Like, she was like, suddenly the person who was,

like, would defend Ramona to the end, all of a sudden she had a change of heart very quickly. Well, yeah, because Ramona just left without saying bye and then left her to go to a party and left her with all these losers. Sonya was probably like, hello, I could have found somebody to bone with money. At that party, yeah, she probably wanted to go too.

Yeah, it's like she's taking away a job opportunity from Sonya. Yeah. Okay, so should we go on to Orange County? Let's go on to Orange County! Love this season. Love, love love love this season orange county is so in its sweet spot right now it is hilarious first of all i love shannon shannon cracks me up i find her oddly relatable even though she does things that are so unrelatable i there's just there's something kooky about her uh i i liked when she was talking about her twenty20,000 worth of

Christmas decorations and she's like it's mortifying, I don't even know why I have all this, it's just mortifyingly embarrassing that I have all these Christmas decorations but it's my one indulgence I'm like no bitch, you're one indulgence you don't have one indulgence, you have about 35 indulgences including your crazy acupuncture guy

who like touches your butt and then is like oh your liver's messed up um yeah shannon's one of those ladies that i should hate because i do hate everything about her like i hate the way that she's bragging about her money in a way that she's acting like she's not bragging about her money like she's constantly talking about how rich she is and how wacky she is to spend hundred100 every day to go see Dr. Moon or spending billions of dollars on Christmas. She's obnoxious. And when she

says things like, well, I was raised with money, but David wasn't, so he's still a he then. She's disgusting. She's horrible to her husband. I find her repulsive in every single way. But I love watching her, and I really like her. Yeah, and I actually find what's funny is that when she talks about her money, she almost acts as if she's

dumbfounded by her own excess and that she almost can't help it. She's like, well, you know, I saw a chandelier for $45,000 and I was like, I just have to buy it, so I bought it. I don't know what's wrong with me. You know, she's like, I

saw a tiger for $150,000 at the circus and I don't know, I just always liked tigers, so,000 at the circus. And I don't know. I just always liked tigers. So I went and bought it. I don't know. Oh, God. Yeah. It's a little.

It makes me cringe. You know, we're watching her husband. Like, he's trying to do something nice for her and take her to a hotel. And just that. It's so awkward. Because she's obviously hasn't fucked him since their last baby was conceived. She needs to drink more. It's just so awkward and horrible,

but I love it. And this week, she told Heather Dubrow to go suck it. I know. Oh, and by the way, and I'd like to mention also, by the way, before we even get to there,

Shannon corrected her kids and her husband on their grammar, which I always appreciate on these shows. And she did it in a way that was much more enjoyable than Heather Dubrow correcting other people's grammar. Heather Dubrow, Heather is so awful this season. these shows and um she did it in a way that was much more um enjoyable than heather dubrow correcting other people's grammar heather dubrow heather is so awful this season like she's always been awful she's always been fucking terrible she is you know what i hate about her these days

is that when she tries to be fun and cool it's so deliberately, I have pre-planned this fun moment, or this way that I'm going to be fun, that it's not fun at all. It's like when a parent tries to be cool, you know? And she's just so proud of not being fun. It's part of her personality that she won't... that she's got to

stick up her ass. She's proud of it. She does it on purpose. I don't... She has a smile on her face like Like, look at me not surfing. Well, she actually did surf. But she'll be like, look at me. I'm not on the basketball court. And, you know, she loves. You're fancy, Heather.

She always likes to brag that she's a joiner. She's like, well, you know, I'll try anything once. I'm a joiner. You know, but no, you actually will not try anything once. You actually just stand there like Maleficent, and scowl at everyone and everything. And then she's one of those people who just repeats her position over and over, even though no one's agreeing with her and it makes no sense. Like if she's in an argument, she'll, yeah,

but what I felt was that you were looking at me in a certain way and it really, you know, it like upset me and that's how I felt. Oh, okay, well okay i'm sorry yeah but you know what i felt that you were looking at me in that way and that's you know what i was feeling was that you were looking at me that way oh okay well i'm really sorry heather no no i mean what i'm saying is you were looking at me and i felt that it's like oh i know well Oh, shut up. Well, so the perfect example was Chairgate, which started off – even before Chairgate started, it was already wonderfully cringeworthy because it was Vicky's first time meeting Lizzie. Now, I also like Lizzie. I actually feel like Lizzie is pretty smart. And even though she has crazy hair and lips and boobs, I do feel like there's actually a brain there too.

But you know that vicky was just gonna hate her right off the get-go so they all get in this limo because they're going to someplace like javier's or whatever some restaurant and they're in this limo and right off the get-go vicky is just an uber bitch to lizzie right she says she's like hey tamra why don't you introduce us to you why you don't introduce us to your friends very well, Tamara. Like, who is this? Izzy? Gizzy? Lizzy? Like, that's just very insulting, actually.

Yeah, she's so rude. And then she's like, well, I don't know, Lizzy? Elizabeth? Like, she's like, Lizzy's like a child's name. It's a child's name. Like, well, what the fuck do you think Vicky is? You know, Vicky, like, Vicky, you know what Vicky is? Vicky is Small Wonder. That's what I think of when I hear Vicky.

I think of the little robot girl with Harriet next door. I feel, I think of Vicky Lawrence from Mama's Family. Yeah. I'm not, you know, the thing is, obviously there are adult Vickys too, but technically Vicky is more of like a kid, I feel like it's more

of a kid name, you know, because Victoria, right, it should be Victoria, you know? So why can't she be Lizzie if you're going to be Vicky? Vicky just hates her because she's young. It's so funny and it's so transparent. It's another Gretchen situation, another Alexis situation where she's just going to be mean to people because they're young. And it's like, Vicky, you can't say you're not jealous when you're sitting there with a really poor imitation of Gretchen's face. I mean, did you see that picture that somebody posted on her Facebook of a side-by-side of Vicky and Gretchen? It's really frightening.

Oh, wow. I did not see that. That big square chin. Vicky has really got it. I mean, if you look at what she's done to herself, she really has turned herself into an old version of Gretchen. It's pretty frightening. But that being said also, so, you know, Vicky is just very cold

and sort of like passive-aggressive, borderline hostile to Lizzie. So Lizzie's the sort of girl, too, who does this thing, which I don't always approve of, which is when they feel uncomfortable when they're when she's feeling the hate from other women what she starts to do is talk about herself a lot like

does all these sort of self-promoting things like yeah you know like um i'm from texas i'm from kentucky yeah so i've seen the kentucky derby and you know yeah i was in pageants i was in miss usa miss america like things like that which i feel feel like when girls do that it's usually because they feel uncomfortable but what it does is it actually makes other girls even madder and the situation just gets worse and worse and that's exactly what happened. I agree. I mean I totally agree with Vicky about what she was

saying about this bimbo. Things like who cares if you're in a pageant. I love when people say that like it's an actual accomplishment like I was really pretty and so my mom spent thousands of dollars on dresses and I walked around in a bathing suit Wow like wow you really made something of yourself girl you go girl so I agree that she's a dumb bitch like in that regard and she just needs to be quiet she's like well I was valedictorian in my class I'm really

smart well my dad is like he's a physicist from Yale it's like okay Lizzie like I like you but you can't be acting like that. You know, you're making it hard for me to like you if you were doing that. But that being said, she was doing it because Vicky was being so bitchy to her, being like, oh, oh, I would never be in a pageant. I mean, all the respect, respect, total respect. I just, I would never do it. I'm not a pageant girl.

You don't say, Vicky. I don't think that anybody would have mistook you for a pageant girl. Okay? So you sort of assume that as the night unfolds, it's going to be the story of Vicky and Lizzie. But no, it's not that at all. What happens is the women all come to this restaurant, including this girl, Danielle, who has the gay husband, Joe. So they all come to this restaurant and they make these jokes like brunette's on that side blondes on this side blah blah blah blah so then heather takes like a seat in the middle and she makes this whole thing

like how about i sit here and i'll be blonde blonde brunette blonde it's like she's making some elaborate joke that's not very funny and then i think it was actually danielle because i went back and i watched a few times danielle said i'll move over shannon wants to sit with vicky something like that so then uh heather has this heather moves over and then she tells us in a confessional you know i don't think you know try telling vicky to move over it's not nice you know she has i think vicky was the one who told her move over wasn't she it It sounds like Danielle's voice. Because later Shannon said, I wasn't the one who told you to move over, Vicky was. And she was like, I didn't say you were the one who told me to move over.

It didn't sound like Shannon's voice. Whoever it was, it did not sound like Shannon's voice. But the thing is this, though. I mean, it is rude to be like, move over, so-and-so wants to sit next to so-and-so. It is a little rude. It's not the worst offense in the world, though. And especially if you're trying to dispel the image that you're an uptight bitch, you sort of should just go with the flow. She's not, though. She doesn't care. Leopards don't change their stripes. She is who she is, Ben.

But she had the conversation with Tamara and that, you know, they were going to try to be. No, her conversation was, I'm going to stay exactly the way I am take it or leave it batch yeah I guess you're right so either way she but she says you know what like try telling Vicky Vicky wouldn't do it so you sort of think that the implication is look at me being reasonable you know I'm being reasonable because you know what someone like Vicky would not be reasonable, you know. But instead she's – no, she's actually not reasonable at all because Vicky and Shannon go to the bathroom, right? And Heather decides to move back into the middle seat. This is – now we're going into middle school here. And she goes into the middle seat and she says, you know what, I'm going to sit here because this was my seat and they told me to move and I didn't want to move.

So I'm going to stay here. So Vicky comes back i think she's confused and shannon comes back and she's confused and then there's like this little you know whatever like minor spat where shannon takes up a chair it's like if you if you like it so badly you can sit here you know which she was right to do but i think right well no shannon went right up to her and was like hey hey, I was sitting there. What's up? And she's like, well, actually, I was sitting here first and the way that I feel is that

if somebody told me to move and it was my seat, but how I feel, the way I was looking at it, because that's how Heather talks. And then she was like, okay, fine. If it's not important to you, take it. Yeah. Shannon had every right to be like, you're fine. If it's not important to you, take it. Yeah.

Shannon had every right to be like, you're being so immature right now. So that's what Shannon does. But anyway, Heather winds up back in her old seat. I mean, her new old seat. So she's back down at the end of the table. And what's hilarious is that then Heather, at this point, I think Heather realizes she's been acting crazy. She's trying to somehow explain it away. And she's like, you know, like, you know, I thought it was not nice to be moved, but we're

over it. We're moving on. We're moving on. We are over it. And I like how everyone at the table is probably like, no one was in it in the first place. You know, like, you're the one who has to move on. Don't tell us to move on. You know? And then Heather keeps on doing it for the next, like, two minutes, she kept on being like,

you know, it's just that, like, I thought it was rude. I wanted to sit in the middle. But we are over it. We are over it. We are moving on. We're moving on. We're done. Although, I mean, you know, I like the middle seat more. But it's over.

No need to rehash. It's done. It's done. Oh, God. Heather, I feel bad for Heather. But seriously, that middle seat, though. That middle seat, I really wanted to sit in that middle seat. But I'm sorry. It's over.

It's done. I feel bad for Heather because there's no way that she's ever going to just be different. I mean, Heather's just awful. And she's always going to be awful. There's not one day where she's going to wake up and be like, Today, I'm not going to brag about my husband's money. And I'm not going to judge everybody for being less worthy than me. It doesn't happen.

Well, she's also not going to look at this footage and learn from it. She's going to say, I handled that well. But then what was funny to me. She's going to be like, look, they're crazy, right? Look. And she's going to be surrounded by her other Lilith Fraser friends. And they're going to be standing around going, you were so right. I mean, who does that?

That is disgusting. What is she wearing? What does she even do? What does her husband even do? Well, but then what was also very funny to me, talk about warped perception, was that Heather then pulls Shannonannon aside sort of you know at dinner and it's like i just want to make sure everything is okay because you know like when you came back from the bathroom you were just like very angry scary almost i was like scared

what she's not seriously seriously like she was like shannon just like walked in the room and was like huh like i was sitting there what's going on you know so for heather to then try to somehow even make it that shannon was crazy it was like she was was it called gaslighting gaslight gaslighting gaslighting yeah i mean it was just it was absurd it was i couldn't believe what i was watching yeah and i love that she called it out right away. She's trying to make me look crazy and twist it around to make me look crazy. I've never seen anything so crazy. And it was true because that is what she does over and over.

But everyone else on this show is just too stupid to fight with her. And it is hilarious that no one else can fight with her. Vicky and Tama are literally too stupid to form the sentences can fight with her. Like, they are literally, like, Vicky and Tama are literally too stupid to form the sentences to fight with her. And meanwhile, Heather's still going, but you know what? We're moving on, though. We're moving on. And Shannon's like, I moved on a long time ago.

Oh, did you? Because when you came to the table, I felt like you were scary. Like, I was scared of you. Like, seriously, I was shaking. So you're okay? Are you okay? Because you were scary. Okay, let's just leave it alone. Seriously, I was shaking. So you're okay? Are you okay? Because you were scary. Okay, let's just leave it alone. Yeah, let's leave it.

Oh, I'm so glad it's over. Because I was feeling that you were getting scary there for a minute. So you're okay, right? I'm okay. Let's move on. Okay, good. And I love that when the person who creates the drama then finally announces that it's time to move on. Like, no, no. No, you create the drama drama now you don't get to choose one it moves out you

have to we have to wait to the people who have been stuck with the drama have decided it's time to move on you don't get to move on well i mean she's the mother of four children and i think that she's she does that that is her life when she's not home it's like calling the nanny to see how the kids are and that's just very know, that prepares you for certain things you're going to have to deal with on a Housewives show, like cleaning Tamara's vomit off of her shirt. Or, you know, like making sure Vicky's not embarrassed when she shits herself at the grocery store.

You know, things like that. Or peas in the bed in Mexico. Totally, totally. So, but the funny thing was, so then Vicky orders a round of tequila shots for everyone to ease the tension. And the waiter accidentally, slash maybe the producers did it, did not deliver one to Lizzie. And so Lizzie is just like, you know.

What? That's uncool. That's like above and beyond. Like, you really have to go out of your way to make me feel left out to do that. What'd I do? I ordered for everybody. What? What? Suck it. Lick it. Suck it. What? What? out of your way so you don't feel left out to do that what'd I do? I ordered for everybody I ordered another shot I ordered another shot I ordered another shot

I ordered it I never ordered multiple tequila shots I ordered a shot for everyone I can't help it if he can't count it's the busboy's fault I ordered a shot so shots all come whatever and then comes like this procession of like bathroom breaks and everything and where this is the this is the funniest part that everyone started talking

about each other so like first like lizzie and tamra were in the bathroom and then like shannon and heather oh heather then vicky were talking about lizzie and then like shannon and heather were talking then shannon vicky were talking about heather right in front of heather and then Vicky were talking about Lizzie. And then Shannon and Heather were talking. And then Shannon and Vicky were talking about Heather right in front of Heather. And then Heather and Lizzie were talking about Vicky in front of Vicky. It was like I couldn't believe how brazen they all were. They were all talking about each other right in front of each other's faces. I've never seen anything like that. It was like crazy.

How did they not all get into a huge fight? I think that they, I don't know. I think they're like holding it. Yeah. I don't know. That's all I can think. Like maybe they're holding it for later in the season. I don't know what's going on.

The rest of the season looks crazy. When they showed coming up this season, it looked crazy, crazy, crazy. And Tamara running. You will never see me again. Running away in her flip-flops. What was that? I cannot wait to see what happens. It was like a scene out of Wizard of Oz.

So do you know about any of the stuff that's been going on with Tamara and her daughter tweeting shit? And then Gretchen and Tamara fighting on the Twitter and the Facebook and all of this with each other. Have you heard about all of this? I've heard something about it. What is it? Tamara's daughter saying that Tamara's a terrible mother and, like, it's, like, poverty conditions when they're over there. Oh, God.

I don't know. I could be wrong. Who knows? I think crazy begets crazy, so I don't trust Tamara. I don't trust her daughter. Yeah, I don't either. And I love Eddie. Okay, babe, we can have a baby if you take care of it.

Thanks. Hey, babe. Hey, babe, I want to have a cleaner look in yours, so don't put. And I love Eddie. Okay, babe, we can have a baby if you take care of it. Thanks. Hey, babe. Hey, babe, I want to have a cleaner look in yours, so don't put anything on the shelves. I was with Tamara when she was like, that's what they're there for. Storage. Tamara, it's hard to like Tamara. I think she's a vapid, horrible human being. But, man, when she says things like, of course he stuck his finger up Vicky's butt.

His name is Dr. Moon. You see? She has good one-liners. She has good one-liners. You kind of got to give up to Tamara. Don't make me love you, Tamara. You know what? Say what you will about her.

She's an evil, evil person, but she has yet to wear out her welcome in my book. She's always entertaining. She's not like Nini. She's going to be there in the long term. She knows that she needs it. Nini doesn't think she needs it. She thinks that she's doing everybody a favor by showing up,

even with a terrible attitude and refusing to participate. She's like, well, I'm a team player. I'm here. I'm actually filming the show that I'm on. Congratulations, Nini. Let's throw you a fucking parade. You know, she thinks she's actually a real actress, which is hilarious.

Have you gotten a job outside of NBC yet? Yeah, seriously. Well, ABC. But that doesn't count. Reality counts. And it's not even like, you know, Dancing with the Stars is past its prime anyway. So, I think...

That's it, right? I'm out of steam. I'm so tired now. I'm going to go sleep. I know. I haven't even had lunch yet, so I'm out of my steam. Oh, my God. Okay, so I guess it's up to me to end it.

So, bye, everybody. Thank you for joining us. Thanks for everybody on Facebook today. You were making us laugh through this whole thing. You can find us on Facebook at Facebook.com slash Watch What Crappens. You can find us on Facebook at facebook.com slash crappins. You can find us on Twitter at what crappins. You can find Ben at all social media outlets at bsideblog or his website

bsideblog.com. You can find me, Ronnie Karam, at Instagram or Twitter at Ronnie Karam or my website trashtalktv.com where I'm doing Survivor in two minutes video recaps until next week when it's over. And if you like Survivor, come listen

to the latest episode of the Banter Blender because Rob Cesarino is on and we had such a fun time talking about Survivor. It's about like half an hour, 40 minutes. It's a good Survivor fanboy experience. You get really right in there. Yeah, so go do that everybody and thank you for listening. We will see you

next week. Goodbye. Bye, everyone. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the Internet. The folks behind the Sideshow Network have launched a new YouTube channel called Wait For It. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleichinger. Schleichinger, I've been friends with her for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there, and I still have a hard time with the last name, Liza. Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com slash wait for it comedy.

There's no need to wait for it anymore. Because it's here. And it's funny. And I love you. To the insurance company that did me wrong. I've moved on and am happily insured with another. Bless your peep-picking heart. It was just never meant to be betwixt us. You gave me automobile insurance apprehension, and GEICO has come along and in just 15 minutes given me new car insurance

and made me as jubilant as a newborn lamb in springtime. And Paul has given GEICO his approval. That's one thing you never had. Joyful with another. Clara May in Columbia. GEICO. 15 minutes could save you 15 had. Joyful with another. Clara Mae in Columbia. Geico. 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. Thank you.