Watch What Crappens - #131: Tamra Balks and LuAnn Barks

Episode Date: June 11, 2014

So much glorious junk on Bravo this week. Ben Mandelker (bsideblog.com) and Ronnie Karam (trashtalktv.com) take on everything: first, it's overspending on "Married to Medicine." Then Mama Joyce goes goes even further off the deep end on "Real Housewives of Atlanta: Kandi's Wedding." On "Real Housewives of Orange County," Tamra bites the cold, condescending hand that feeds her, and on "Ladies of London," Americans don fake accents and pretend not to be social climbers. Finally, on "Real Housewives of New York," LuAnn takes on Aviva while Ramona plays detective and attempts to get to the bottom of a menage-a-trois scandal. Chic, c'est la vie! Along the way, there's plenty of gossip including a juicy item about Jay-Z and the most random Bravo-lebrity you can imagine. Come listen! And remember to like us on Facebook: http://facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens And here's some other stuff: Our YouTube Podcasts: http://www.youtube.com/thetvclique Our Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/watch-what-crappens On iTunes: https://bit.ly/crappens Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens Ronnie on the Web: http://www.trashtalktv.com Ronnie on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/trashtalkteevee Ronnie on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/trashtalktv Ben on the Web: http://www.bsideblog.com Ben on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/bsideblog Ben on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/bsideblog See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappins. Crappins. Crappins. Crappins. Crappins. Crappins. Watch what Crappens Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? And joining me, as always, is my plucky and ever-loving co-host, Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. Well, hello, Ben. Why don't you tell the kind people where they can find you? Hi, everybody.

My name is Ronnie. You can find me on social media, on Twitter, at Ronnie Karam, or at Trash Tweet TV, which is TrashTalkTV.com's recap feed. TrashTalkTV.com's recap feed. Or you can come over and find me on Vine at Ronnie Karam or Instagram at Ronnie Karam or Trash Talk TV. Trash Talk TV also has a lovely site on Tumblr where we post the newly pronounced gifs of housewives. And that's Trash Talk TV recaps on Tumblr. Why are gifs called called GIFs now? I always thought they were called GIFs.

I know, because the guy who made GIFs, which I can't even believe I called them GIFs because I feel like I'm giving in to the man, but he came out and said that it's pronounced GIFs. Now, I don't know how that makes sense since it stands for graphic interface faces or whatever, but that's some bullshit. And I think he's just trying to fuck with people and see if he can make everybody sound stupid, which is totally

working. Because if you say GIF now, everybody's like, isn't it pronounced Jeff? That's so annoying. That's like really a very annoying thing to do. You know, like pop culture decided that it's going to be called GIF and that's the way it is. So now, by the way, everyone, please like us on Facebook

where you can, you won't see any gifs there, but you'll see lots of other stuff. Uh, facebook.com forward slash watch what crap ends. It is such a fun Facebook page and we just hit 2,500 followers, which is really cool. I'm gonna say 2,500. It sounds like more, um, uh, which we're so happy that everyone joined. I was gonna list off new people who liked it, but I don't have that list ready.

But everyone, just please keep on contributing. If you're not liking the Facebook page, you actually really are missing out. You're missing out on tons of cool links. You're missing out on really funny commentary, a lot of discussions. And it just is a great way to kind of enhance your Watch What Crappens experience, take it to the next level. It really is. a lot of discussions and um it just is a great way to kind of um enhance your watch what crabbins

experience take it to the next level you know it really is every bit the conversations in there are so hilarious and thank you to everybody who has been there for i mean we're on like 131 now so that's a lot of hours of this shit yeah some of you guys have listened to every single minute of it yeah and i can't believe you would do that to yourself. But thank you for doing it. It's like seeing old friends. I know. And I want to give a special shout out to one of our listeners, Emmy Burbano, who used to list her favorite quotes of the episode.

But now she's realized that she has many more productive things to do with her life. But she's going down to the World Cup. And we may never see her again. So hopefully she comes back and doesn't get stuck in a favela. So good luck. Good luck, Emmy. Yeah, be ready to walk because those trains ain't running. So, you know, one of the great parts about this Facebook page is that people post all these great links, as I just mentioned. And that's how we get gossip.

So there are two things that I want to talk about. One is not really a very interesting story. But I loved that there were at least two people who posted it on our wall, and then one person emailed it directly. The bridge in Paris, the Lover's Lock Bridge, where people put little padlocks on and throw the keys in. Part of it collapsed. And I love that two different people posted on our wall and were like, Kyle Richards strikes again. Yeah, no kidding. Well, you know, fat Kyle put her fat lock on that thing and the bridge fell down. I just love that this like random sort of like this random moment from the previous season.

People have, no pun intended, latched on to it. And like the first thing they think of is oh well kyle richards and you know what they're absolutely right she totally ruined it yeah well that lock had a lot of weight put on it you know that whole like look my husband isn't sleeping with tranny hostesses from restaurants he's in love with me it was like too much pressure and it just crashed the whole bridge well she's probably gonna take credit for it by the way she's gonna say well you know before mauricio and i only a few people really put locks on that bridge. And then we did it, and you know,

we just really started a trend. You can see, I'm also imagining Kim Richards going over there with like a wire hanger, being like, I can't get the lock to close on the bridge. Kim will be like, I love putting locks into the river where the bridge used to be.

This is how my love for Kingsley is so deep. As deep as this bridge in the water. Kingsley! Hey, this bendy straw doesn't lock. I'm putting a trash tie around this fence so I can remember how love can be untied. It's so fleeting. Hey, this pine cone doesn't have a combination lock on it. I can't put it on the bridge.

Hey, Julia Roberts, I'm putting a pine cone on this bridge to remind us of when we worked together in Pretty Woman. Hey, if you watch the Tonys, I want so many things. Especially for turtles. I don't like turtles. I never said I liked turtles. I love turtles. Speaking of awkward drag queens at the Tonys, you guys. I know probably maybe only 10%.

And Ben definitely doesn't watch the Tonys. And I did not watch all the Tonys yet because I'm saving them. But, just to make sure that the video worked, I pressed play and saw a clip of that Doogie Howser kid playing Hedwig and the Angry Inch. You guys, stop

with this guy. Stop it. It's not okay. That was the most awkward thing I've ever seen in my life. Please, don't ever suspect me to that again, please. I was already passed out by the time the Tonys were airing because I did something even gayer than watching the Tonys, which is that I actually went to Gay Pride. Actually, this is sort of hilarious.

This can be tied into Bravo slightly. Believe it or not, I marched in the Gay Pride parade this year. You did? Which is pretty much not what I'm all about. But my friend, she emailed me and she's like, hey, I'm with NBCU. Do you want to walk with us? I thought, you know what? Why the hell not? There's no harm. I'll just walk, you know? I get there and she's like, oh, by the way, we're dancing. And I'm like, what? We're dancing? And this guy works for nbcu has the gayest choreography you can even imagine it was like drag queen voguing like it was like the sort of thing that miss lawrence would

have been like damn like yeah it's like the blonde ambition tour yeah it was honestly mortifying and so then i finally got out of the the dancing and they're like well you can hold up a sign i'm like great and they put me at the very, very, very front of the NBCU group. So I was like – they had like a banner that was like NBC welcomes your pride. And I was like next to it with a sign as if I were like an ambassador for NBC Comcast or whatever. And I don't even work there. I just make fun of the people on their shows. I wish I could have seen it.

I didn't go until nighttime at the end of Gay Pride like at 6.30. And people were so – it was like gay zombies just – That me falling down barf all over the front i mean it was embarrassing and it makes me very glad to be a shut-in well you know what one of the reasons why i'm never gonna march in the parade again unless i get like put on a float with like really hot guys or something is because while i'm standing there waiting for my waiting for our group to go and then having to march all the way down this parade route, I'm not getting to drink. And I'm like, damn it, I want to drink.

So by the time I was done with it at like 2.30, I was catching up for lost time. And I think I overdid it because by like 7.30 p.m., I was like at Five Guys drunk and I was like barely able to see straight. But I was with our friend Lisa Timmons and I saw Madison Hildebrand to bring it back to Bravo walking on the street well have I taught you nothing I carried around a flask of hundred proof Smirnoff I know I should have I wish it faced in two minutes I heard by the way again another Bravo tie-in that they were filming at Pump which is Lisa Vanderpump's new gay club uh they were filming and that there I think there was a fight

between like Stassi and Kristen, and something like that. I don't know. This is sort of like the rumors that came through the gay mill over the course of the day, as filtered through my drunk perceptions. Here's what I heard from gay people. That's all I saw.

Okay, let's start talking about perhaps... Wait, I'm sorry. There is one piece of gossip I have to share. This is actually my favorite piece of gossip from the week, perhaps the month, okay? Okay. This comes to us, among other people, from Robert Pesta. There is a rumor that Jay-Z is cheating on Beyonce. Ew. And guess which Bravo star he may be cheating with George from Real Housewives of New York

no how about this why don't you choose the show why don't you choose the show because you're never gonna guess the person God girls no that's a little bit too high-minded um millionaire matchmaker no you have one more shot. Um, Million Dollar Listing New York. No. The rumor is that Jay-Z is cheating on Beyonce with one of the princesses of Long Island. Ew, he's into chicks with strokes. He's like, yeah, stroke that dick, baby. And she's like, help, dad, help me.

Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help dad, help me. Help me. Catch on patio, dad. Oh, I'm twitching my vagina. Dad, Jay-Z wants me to take off my heels. Send me a jet. My vagina is having a stroke on Jay-Z's penis. Serve for it.

No, he is not. The rumor is not with ashley uh he is rumored to be cheating with casey who is the blonde girl who is mad at erica you know erica who's sort of like the hottest girl in the north sure um casey uh was mad for 15 years that erica had stolen her prom date so if this is true how the tables have turned that casey who's so mad about her, her lover being taken away, could now become in between Jay-Z and Beyonce. Oh, good. Really, Jay-Z? You know, this is what I don't understand about men.

You know, gay guys, I feel like if we cheat, we cheat with someone hotter. You know, there's like a looks point system or whatever. But straight guys, I mean, don't fuck a homeless lady without any teeth if they're drunk enough. It's like the fact that she doesn't have teeth is a plus. And the fact that she doesn't have a cell phone and can't

text their wives is a plus. It's like, gross, you went from Beyonce to a toothless homeless woman. And he's like, yeah, but my dick's drained. Yeah, I mean, I did some reading about this on different sites. And I feel like the conclusion is this is such a random rumor that it almost has to be true. Even if it's probably put out by Casey herself.

Yeah, it's probably put out by Casey herself. I mean, those girls are still doing interviews for, like, wet paint or whatever. Wet paint's like, the most amazing thing you'll never believe. Someone has AIDS. Click here and you click it. And it's like, Casey thinks there might be another season of The Princesses. They're just waiting to hear. It's like, this article had nothing to do with AIDS.

Why did I click on this Wet Paint? You got me again, Wet Paint. But those girls are, like, talking about how they're going to get another season. Well, I mean, if this scandal were to be true, I guarantee we'd get another season. I guarantee it. Funny looking. Funny looking.

Funny looking. How could you call someone funny looking? That is the most disrespectful thing I've ever heard. Dad, help me. You just sent a plane to get me from brunch. Help me. What was the the plane to get me from brunch. Help me. What was the name of the really Jewish one?

Was her name like Shalom or? I want to say Shalom or Aviva, and I know it's neither of those things. Chanel. Oh, Chantel. Chanel. Chanel, yeah, Chanel, yeah, Chanel. She's like going to the rabbi. Dear rabbi, I hear that Casey is with Jay-Z,

and I just want to know when I will find someone. I can't even find someone else's husband. Babs is like, Ah, you gotta bring Jay-Z over to the store. Gotta give him a drink, Hanky. Hey, Jay-Z, I made a seat for you to sit on. It looks just like my face. Hey, Jay-Z, I made you a salad with some wishbone dressing.

By the way, I would totally watch the Jay-Z episode of Princesses Long Island. So who's Beyonce going to retaliate with? My fucking wishbone dressing. That is so hilarious. I just remember going, oh. It drove me nuts. I was like, I can't believe this bitch put out wishbone dressing on the table. They're recording on national TV. Dress y'all

salad or put it in some sort of gravy train. Oh, and you two getting married. Hey, Chang Z and KC, you guys can go on a double date with Amanda and Jeff. So what does the Z stand for? Does it stand for zealing? That's one of my favorite Woody Allen movies.

I hope it stands for zoo-ish, because that's what we're looking for for my baby. Like, I don't understand why, like, Jay-Z is not with me. I'm, like, one of the hottest girls in the North Shore. Like, I was the hottest one. So, like, I don't understand why he's not with me. I love that show. I can't believe that they're not even considering bringing that show back. That show was amazing. I know.

Dad, help me. Jay-Z has couches out on the front yard. And I love this stupid Ashley. Like, no matter what's brought up online, it's like Ashley's response is, I just had a stroke. You did not have a stroke. Stop saying you had a stroke.

You've had, like, 20 strokes this year, you midge. Stop it. This is probably where the rumor came from. She probably, like like heard something about like jay-z and beyonce and she heard a stroke when she had a stroke when someone said beyonce and she got the syllables all mixed up and she's like what jay-z jay-z and casey she's like did you hear that casey released a secret album in december with no promotion everyone's downloading it surfboard i love casey's new song drunken love

drunken love all right okay what's next i don't know what show do you want to start with ronnie well i say we should save real Housewives of New York for last. Because that was just pure amazingness. And we don't really have to add much to that. And that's all I care about. Let's get rid of Married to Medicine real quick. This show, come on with Married to Medicine. What I should have did was give $50,000 to Eugene to take the show off the air.

And then give another $10,000 after we lost our $50,000. And then after that, we could have driven to an NBA player's house and climbed over the fence. I'm like, it's my house. I'm not in the mood to lose $50,000 right now. Yeah, no one's in the mood. Who'd you give $50,000 to, you dumb hoe? I know. Stupid.

It's like, I think she actually gave $50,000 to the Monopoly man. She went into like a Toys R Us. Found a Monopoly man. actually gave $50,000 to the Monopoly man. She went into a Toys R Us, found a Monopoly man. I can ask her, can I get $5,000? He's like, no. She's like, I'll give you $50,000. I love also, she's like, I can't lose this house. I would have bought the furniture for it. I'm like, you stupid idiot.

That's why you don't buy furniture until you move into the house. She didn't buy furniture. She bought a coffee table book. The coffee table book is going to serve as the coffee table too. It's like Seinfeld. So, yeah. Toya and Eugene lost $50,000 because they couldn't get their loan to go through,

which is super shady. So that's what happened with them. Well, it's because he has way too much money and the bank doesn't know what to do with him. Don't forget that. Oh, yeah, yeah. They don't know. Is he like an emergency room doctor? Or is he like his own private contractor?

The bank's like, I don't know. He's got so much money. Yeah, he's got so much money. The bank's like, well. What I should have did was I should have came to the bank and been like, oh, Eugene's a, he's a pilot with the Air Force.

And then they'd be like, okay, here's $100,000. I had done it. It'd give them $50,000. What I should do is go to the drug casino and be like, hey, can I get a loan for like $75,000 for Eugene?

Poor thing. So then, she finds a rental that some NBA guy, and so she's all excited because it has a gate in front of it. So now they finds a rental that some NBA guy, and so she's all excited because it has a gate in front of it. So now they're not going to own anything. They're just going to rent a house way out of their price range, which means they'll never buy anything, and they're going to go totally broke.

Bye. I see it happening, and I hope this show is on the air long enough just so I can see that bitch go broke. Oh, yeah, and obviously she's only excited about the house because it belonged to an nba star yeah it's like congratulations you got christian laitner's house yeah congrats they're gonna have a humongous toilet in there okay and also all i could think that whole time was melissa writing her a note like on top of a box of sugar cookies it says congrats on your used house that's true that's true um heavenly did nothing but her

daughter once again proved to be the smartest one on the show and then the other thing was dr simone decided to have a date night which is one of my least favorite things on these shows is when they have a date night or um they read their vows again the only thing i liked about it is that i think simone's kids are really cute and really, they just seem, I love them. I think they look like they're very well-raised children, and I like seeing them on TV. Well, I like her romantic dinner. She's like, this is a dinner I have made for you to show you my love. How do you feel?

And he's like, I feel like you need to stop working so damn much. He starts the same thing. It's like, how come you need to stop working so damn it's like he starts the same thing it's like how come you never wipe pee sprinkles off the toilet seat like wow we're trying to have a romantic night here okay um let's see mariah did base i don't think mariah was barely she's barely even this in this episode mariah is basically being cut out of her own show. Yeah. She, I I think that's funny.

And then Quad, she had like, she had this like ridiculous fight with her husband but the husband was sort of in the right. The husband's like Fat people with real problems in this world! I'm your paper dogs.

Why are you talking about puppies? They're your babies. They're not your babies. There's real babies in this world. There's real babies who need clothes. There's real babies who need to look like they're in Chanel's. Why are you doing that? Oh no. Why are you yelling, first of all? First of all.

And second of all, this has nothing to do with her not wanting your baby. I think you need to shave down your pinhead or something to prove it can be done because nobody wants to be the mother of pinhead children. Well, I think the hilarious thing was I think the entire fight started because Clyde was like, you can call them Carrie, you can call

them Chloe, you can call them whatever you want, but do not call them dogs. I'm like, no, but they are dogs. He walked into the room and she had their names written on chalkboards like she was taking score. And he's like, why are their names on chalkboards? That's ridiculous. They're not children. They're dogs.

She's like, how dare you call them dogs? Absolutely not. Absolutely not. She's like, you could put that dish in the washer because, honey, it is empty. She's like, yellow and put that dish in the washer because honey it is empty. She's like, yellow and blue makes green honey. And that's why this Ziploc is open for business. Put a bookmark in that book and put it on the shelf because I'm not opening it again. The expiration date on this milk is expired, honey, and I'm not drinking. I hope you put oil in that cast iron pan because things are smoking in here. I hope you have one of those fold-out signs that says wet floor because you're about to

slip, honey. I hope you emptied out the ashtray because there's a cigarette button there and it better not come from your mouth. I don't know why you're standing at the bus stop because this bus ain't stopping, honey. The only thing you better be looking at is that palm tree over there because you're going to get a frond in your face. A frond. Okay, so I have to admit that her dog clothes were actually extremely adorable

love them one thing I was worried about was how the dogs pee without getting it all over tutus like how does that work you know I did not like the dog clothes only maybe because I'm not much of a dog person slash I'm also not that into too many small dogs there are a few exceptions my friend neil by the way has a wonderful dog

named molly and another dog named buddy and they're both small and adorable so i make exceptions for them and dead zena was very cute and still my little ghost dead zena walks around the house and gives me attitude and she's a very small dog ghost and she's very cute so whatever that being said some of those, one of those dogs was running around with a little frilly tutu thing and it looked ridiculous. They looked like they were in a costume for school play in first grade as a sunflower.

I like when she's like, that dog's walking on Beverly Hills! Beverly Hills is not a street. Okay? It's a place. Okay, so the other thing was Lisa Nicole is having a fashion show. A fashion show that has nothing to do with the cancer

that I almost had. And so they started casting models, and this was the most racist casting session I've ever seen. They were so mean to the white girls. Every white girl, they were like, ugh, gross girl.

Oh, God. Meanwhile, the only person who was qualified to be there was Cynthia Bailey, who was there as like a little Atlanta crossover. There is no reason why Dwight should be there.

Dwight is not qualified to do anything. I mean, every episode he's doing something else. One episode he is like, you know, opening doors for people. One episode he's bringing in cakes for One episode he is, like, you know, opening doors for people. One episode he's bringing in cakes for Phaedra's baby birthday. One episode he's suddenly a hairstylist. I mean, he's like, if there's anything remotely gay, he suddenly is the master of it.

And I don't believe it. And I like when he was like, I don't like her face, honey. I'm like, have you seen yourself, Felicia Fassad? You look ridiculous. You look like an adobe house. Shut up. I know. All I wrote about Dwight was,

Dwight, dress like a horse that needs to be put down. He literally looks like, you know, like those scary muscle car things, and they have gear shifts that have little skulls on them. That's what he looks like. He has dick shifts with, you know like like badass people like Dwight should have a big hand over his face when he gets like moved backwards a car goes into drive oh my god that guy's awful no he's truly truly awful and I I don't know how he

still lingers around Bravo after all these years. Yeah, it's like there's got to be more men who dress like women in town besides the three that you guys use. I know. I feel so bad for the Atlantic gays that those who represent them are Derek J., Lawrence, and Dwight. Well, to be fair, we don't have much better ones here. That's true.

Who do we have we do have josh i like him for a million dollar listing yeah i like that guy madison madison's like no that guy is basically just a vagina that guy's basically a butthole like a vagina made out of a butthole walking around we have every single drag queen who is on RuPaul's Drag Race who then moves to California and then thinks they're going to make it big by performing at Mickey's once a week.

Oh my gosh, poor Mickey's. I'm like, could you put the videos back? Oh, no, that's Revolver. I'm like, can we go watch videos now? Because I do not need any more of these drag queens screaming in my face. Also, you know what? What about drag queens performing? How about that? Okay?

I went to this thing at the Abbey a few weeks ago, or a couple weeks ago, called Drag Queen Prom. Drag Prom. Okay. And so everybody showed up and, like, dressed to the nines. Like, all the drag queens looked just so pretty. I mean, for drag queens. And they looked so nice and stuff.

And then throughout the night, they would just walk around and try and trick you into voting for them. But they didn't ever perform or anything. They just asked you for votes. I mean, what the hell? You guys perform. Do something. Besides dress like women.

Like, it used to be you have to sing, you know? Yeah. Now they just, like, walk around lip-syncing Katy Perry songs. Like, anybody can do that. And half the guys there are dressed like women anyway. So, like, how am I going to vote for you? I'll just vote for the blind agent guy in the corner touching the statue and dancing to Katy Perry's song.

He wins. Well, the other thing is, too, that some of these drag queens don't do anything special. They just, like you said, they just prance around. And people... They hot glue gun some jewels from Michaels to a fucking dress from Forever 21 and then expect you to give them money. Like, get out of here. I'm telling you, like, not too long ago ago maybe like a month ago i was dragged no pun intended dragged to mickey's on a thursday night at midnight and you know mickey's main drag night

is on monday which is already not really my scene but thursday night is like the real ghetto drag night and so i got dragged to sing. I was so unhappy. And they brought out someone who came in like seventh place on RuPaul's Drag Race like three years ago. And people were like, oh! And this person just like pranced around, like missed lots of lyrics. And people threw dollars at him or her.

And I was like, this is the most ridiculous thing. I just don't get it. Yeah, we definitely need to have higher standards for drag queens. You know, I remember back in the day, like, Tord Song Trilogy and Harvey Fierstein was a drag queen. He's like, love for sale. He wasn't lip syncing. He was singing like a 90-year-old woman,

but at least he'd memorize something. So how about, speaking of drag queens, should we go on to Atlanta? Any other show. Why don't we go to Atlanta, atlanta any other show when we go to atlanta candy that's that way yeah candy's wedding the only note i wrote down is mama joyce is a cunt that's basically oh oh no that's wrong i'm sorry first of all that's wrong to say cunt so i'm sorry for that but i wrote mama joyce is a old slaggy cunt that's what i wrote sorry sorry sorry for saying cunt five times you know i don't understand how Mama Joyce, as deranged and as awful as she is, can turn out such a lovely person like Candy.

You know? Well, you know. Candy should be so much more messed up. I guess she is messed up in that she still does all these things for her mama. I'm messed with my mama. And I'm messed with my food. See? Now, Mama.

Mama told me all sorts of weird things and like you was like not there because like I don't know Like you wasn't wanting to hang out with me and I was like mama See, how am I gonna have a daddy to show the rally rally? Did your daddy tell you that he that I wouldn't give you Christmas gifts from him? Did your daddy tell you that I wouldn't give you Christmas gifts from him? Did your daddy tell you that I wouldn't give you birthday gifts from him? I was like, oh my God. This show, that woman is too toxic. I can't even with her.

She is totally deranged. This week she said, she kept repeating the Todd's dad was a pimp and his mom was a hoe thing over and over again. And then when Todd finally confronts her, she's like, yes, I did say it. And that's what I heard on the street from the people I know on the street. And I can say whatever I want. You don't talk to me, honey.

She's like, I like you. I just don't like the game. And then he's like, the game, he's like, my dad died when I was three. He's like, it has a way of going on Generations She is such I mean she is truly an awful

And she swore on her dead son Something that she's obviously lying about Yeah I mean she is truly An awful person And we learned also that One of the reasons why Candy's dad wasn't around Was because Mama Joyce put out a restraining order on him and that um she she claims that he had an affair because i guess bertha and nora got into her year whatever i don't know the truth truth of that but she claimed that

she did not put out a restraining order so i want want someone, a judicious person, to go and find the restraining order. Well, the records are different now. Everything wasn't computerized then. So hopefully it's somewhere, but I mean, I don't believe her. She's obviously lying. She lies about everything. She's a crazy person. She's like, I didn't put a restraining order on your father.

I put it on your dad. I wasn't restraining him with ropes. I just threatened that the police would take him to jail forever if he tried to see my baby. I didn't want him to take any of your money, Candy. I wasn't restraining your dad. I was restraining the game. I was restraining the game Candy your daddy only wanted the quarters That you had saved up from the tooth fairy

Candy And those are mine Those are mine Candy I don't like that tooth fairy I mean I like the tooth fairy But I don't like her game That tooth fairy was trying to have sex With your father

And I told that bitch, I heard on the street, your mama was a prostitute. You better get off my daughter's pillow, prostitute daughter. This is what I heard, okay? I heard the tooth fairy was trying to get with Todd. So I told the Easter Bunny, why don't you go get some photos? Just what they're doing, that's all. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries' Myhala Harold, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break

in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top ten, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost?

Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free

right now by joining Wondery Plus. From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of Black History that

we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some. As a fighter for black rights, she is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real

on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. and all those hoes coming to sit on his lap like that tooth fairy in that Easter Bunny, baby. See, that tooth fairy is just like Carmen. In fact, I heard on the street that Carmen's actually the tooth fairy.

Okay? Carmen had sex with that tooth fairy. I tried to take a picture of it, but now she's not allowed in my home, Candy! Now, I like Common, and I like the Tooth Fairy, but I don't like that game, because we all know that Common is the Tooth Fairy's madam!

The only reason I'm still watching this piece of shit is because I want to see Todd's mom beat the shit out of her next week and break her finger. That's the only reason I'm watching it. Because next week, her mom, who's played by like... I don't know. She looks like somebody, but I can't figure out who it is. She looks like the dead woman

from Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego. Liz. Lynn. Lynn, what's her face? Oh, she does! She does look like her. Oh my god. She needs to hold up a magnifying glass and be like here's your clue oh yes what is that woman's name i know her from the musical tin types off i like like drag queens are too gay now let me make a very obscure broadway reference

yeah but at least those people do something more than show up in a dress And get dollars thrown at them They sing okay They do I also like by the way There were two times when they When people on this show referred to themselves Having a Porsche moment

One was Candy being like See it now how do you tell the difference Between a male lion and a female lion Like Riley how do you do that And they're like uh candy there's a man she's like oh porsche moment but then i like that her gay at one point was candy's like i could be from africa and the gay was like yeah you could be from cape cod everybody basically on candy's crew says porsche moment yeah

i know poor porsche poor porsche um i'm actually enjoying the show i can't believe it i'm enjoying the show yeah it's okay but candy's mom is just too terrible but she's kind of the only reason i'm watching it because i'm watching to see how terrible she can get but i mean in one episode she called someone's mother a whore someone's dead father a pimp uh she swan her own dead son. What else did she do in this episode? I mean, she's pretty despicable. She called Candy's best friend

sneaky. Which one? Carmen? No, she's like, I like tan, but I don't like Carmen. Oh, yeah. And she's like, can I wear black dress? Yes! I don't want to stand up at your wedding, Candy.

That's a lot to ask. You fake woman I don't like. By the way, what an awful moment when Candy's like, hey, could you give me away? And Mama Joyce is like, no. I just wanted to slap her. She's a disgusting human being.

She really, really is. That's some terrible parenting. Candy, kick her to the curb, Candy. Make sure Raleigh does not grow up under her influence. Raleigh. Raleigh. So let's move on to Real Housewives of Orange County. You down to do that?

Sure. Okay, so Orange County. I loved this episode. You always know you're in for a really good episode when the party, that's going to be the climax of the episode, starts about 20 minutes in. Then you know you're in

for a good time. Yes, I agree. That was a good time yes i that was a good time and i love that shannon's like oh i don't spend anything on christmas and then there's like 20 employees 30 trees like like an extra chandelier she and her husband hate each other openly which i still love yeah uh what else is going on vicky's bullshit crying okay well should we just jump to the main event wait wait no but let's let's i'm gonna before we get to the party the only other thing that happened prior to the party really was that tamra took her son to the doctor and basically he's basically ryan's gonna have a heart attack because he's been doing so many drugs

and so um i just have so we got a bunch of comments on the facebook page about it and rebecca q and shack wrote uh that she really enjoyed the excellent production job of clipping together tamra dismissing eddie's concerns about her injecting her body full of plastic and chemicals followed by her saying why does ryan have to fill his body with chemicals he is perfectly fine how he is why can't he be happy with his body yeah you don't have to inject yourself with something to be acceptable and meanwhile she's saying that you can only tell she's crying because her voice is shaking the rest of her face isn't even moving but to counter that she did have a point when she said eddie is always telling me i don't need stuff in my face to look beautiful but if I stopped he would see the real me

and you know what I already see the real her poking through all that and it is not you keep doing whatever you sometimes I think it's overboard in your case I would buy a bicycle pump put it in your ear and just keep pumping do whatever it takes to distract from your real personality Tamara because once the looks go it's going to be real dark. She looks like one of those straws that you like.

You know when you squeeze the paper off of the straw to make it so you can put a drop of water onto it and make it look like a snake? She looks like that before you put the drop of water onto it. She just needs to keep those pillars coming, girl. That girl's going to be filled more than a speed bump.

So, you know, it is funny that she is talking so much about, like, why does Ryan, where does he get these body issues from? Where does he get them from? And she's sitting next to him at the same doctor getting hormone injections and testosterone and all sorts of other things getting put into her body. testosterone and all sorts of other things getting put into her body. But I also liked, once again, Emmy McAdams-Burbano said that, you know, when the doctor said, you know, basically he has to kind of detox. And Emmy goes, I have more faith in Laurie Peterson's son, Josh, getting clean after his fifth felony than I have in Tamara's son.

Yeah, Tamara's son, poor guy. I mean, he's been ignored his whole life. He's been in terrible parental households his whole life. His mom does nothing but care about some stupid show she's on. What's all that drama with Tamara and her daughter? Did we already talk about this? Because I already forgot what all the drama was. Yeah, I think it was that the daughter was saying that her mom was a bad mother and it was like poverty over there and terrible living conditions.

Who knows? Well, if Tamara is anything a mother, like she is a friend to people, then I just feel bad for Ryan. You know, I don't blame him. God bless his little heart. You just keep taking whatever you can. Yeah.

The sooner you die, the more of a chance you don't have to clean up your mom's poop when she starts leaking all over the place. Get out of there before you start having to take care of that hag because you know Eddie's not going to be around to do it. He'll be over at Slade's house.

I kind of feel bad for him because if he was taking steroids and HGH and all that stuff, he should be, like, much bigger. He should be, like, at least, like, big and muscular. He's just sort of, like, a little bigger and hairy and old-looking. Yeah, he just got hairier like taking taking in the groceries from the trunk of your car isn't working out you still have to like do push-ups and stuff yeah so um it's funny talking about working out so um the fitness industry was really at the center of this episode so when we went to this christmas party that shannon was having

that she allegedly spent only five dollars on and when there's like, again, tons and tons of decorations. The big thing that happened is that Heather got a guest gig for Good Day LA. Oh, and sorry to back up yet again. Another thing that happened before the show is so Heather goes to promote her appearance on hawaii 50 where she has like a few lines and she starts telling us she's like oh i love a publicity tour it's just so fun to get out there and get and talk and be blah blah blah i'm like publicity tour you have a guest spot on a cbs procedural you did not just come out with a book and a feature film and next the person who was dead in the first scene of last week's law and order like

who does that that's not a press tour you dumb slut like they did that for you because you're on the housewives show yeah so i love that she was already assigning so much more significance to it but truthfully she was they said they wanted her to be like a like a guest host etc etc so yeah you know why because no one's watching that shit anymore since they fired the really funny ones. They're like, keep the old guy who has no jokes and get rid of the funny old tan hags who were the only reason to watch this show. I mean, both those women look like,

Dixie Leonard or whatever. Was that her name? No. That's Ben Miller's character from For the Boys. Oh. Okay, you know Good Day L.A. used to have those two women on it who would, like, they'd talk like this. Like, Jillian Barbary. They were, like, basically like two crazy shrews.

Yeah. Yeah, they were just, like, these old, like, overly tan L.A. hags. Like, big fake boobs. Their skin was, like, brown and crinkly. Yeah. They were really funny. They'd be like, I saw Jimmy Moore at a party. She had a little boy sucking on her tit for sustenance.

They were, like, disgusting. They were awesome. And then they fired them both, and now they're getting, like, housewives because no one's watching yet. Yeah, exactly. So anyway, so at Heather's party, I mean, sorry, at Shannon's party, Heather's there, and Tamara walks in and heather's like really excited and she's like hey tamra just so you know i got this guest hosting gig and we're basically basically allowed to make two segments and i would love to have you and your people on to promote cut fitness on the show and tamra's reaction is like you might as well just told her that her son actually had the heart attack that was predicted she was just sort of you know dumbfounded kind of crying and sad and the reason why is then she launched this whole thing that like

well six months ago when you were a guest on there you had like my competitor in newport beach and that was like a dagger in the heart what did you think about tamra's response well i totally agree with what vicky said it's a fucking fucking gift. Thank you. You know, Heather is under no obligation. Like, what if I was on some talk show for like, I don't know, like, what if I got hit by a bus

and I was on some talk show? Am I supposed to be like, well, Ben, my friend Ben has a really lovely blog. No, I mean, I just got hit by a fucking bus and I'm on TV. It doesn't have anything

to do with you. And if I say, hey, Ben, Ben's got a great blog, then you better send me some fucking flowers or something. Yeah, I will maybe do that. It's not like I'm forced to do it, you know? The bus did it.

Yeah. Well, Tamara's dumb for many reasons. One of them is that she's been doing this show long enough that she's probably been on a lot of talk shows and she should know the way they work, you know? She should know that Heather truly had probably no control over the situation.

Okay, well, I'm going to have to stop you there. Okay, one area where I guess I'm going to disagree with everybody from what I've been reading on the page. But Heather did know. It was her gym. That's where Heather works out. That's where she gets personally trained. Her instructor was the one who told Tamara that that heather set it up and you know what heather is totally within her rights to do that why wouldn't heather hook up somebody who's

been nice to her who gets her in killer shape to distract us from that fucking awful gerbil face that she's got going on but she probably what probably happened was fox said to her we want to get the gym that you go to can Can you bring your trainer? We want this. And she's like, okay, well, this is the gym that I go to. You know? Like, she was, it's sort of like a, it's a mixture of both. It's a mixture. It's not her duty to be like.

And first of all, Tamara's gym is a one room. It's like one big warehouse room with plastic wood floors. Yeah. With, like, five fat ladies working out who are fans of the show and have no interest in losing weight. There's nothing even on the shelves. Like they had to make a plot point of there being nothing on the shelves to explain it. I mean, Tamara's gym is full of shit.

It's not even real. Why the hell would Heather take a crew over there? And on top of that, apparently during that segment, it wasn't just Heather's gym. It was like a few other things from Heather's life. So Tamara would have actually been having to share the segment with other people. So she would have had less

screen time. And on top of that, Tamara is part of the Real Housewives of Orange County. Her gym already has so much free publicity that the last thing she should complain about is that this competitor, whose name I still don't even know, happened

to be on the show. And on top of that, on top of everything else, by her making a stink about it, the competitor actually made its way onto Real Housewives of Orange County. Yep. Yeah, Tamara's an idiot. Like, she's so stupid. First of all, why are you opening a gym? Like, if you're going to have a Housewives business, why in the world would you have a one room gym?

How much money could you possibly make from that? Okay. Your membership is $50 a month. Let's say you get a hundred people to do that. Okay, great. Now you're making what? How much is that?

$5,000. Right. Okay. So now you're making $5,000 a month, you know, rents at least $3,000. And I mean, how are you going to make a long-term

living off of one little gym? You need to have something you can sell to the whole world, you know? Stupid. She's just stupid. It's like she wanted somewhere so Eddie could have somewhere to go alone and have a steam room and blow guys it's not a gay club. She wanted to keep tabs on her man.

Here's the only, I'm going to try to play devil's advocate here, because I'm going to try. The only way that I can see Tamara having the smallest thread of a point is if she's saying, as if in her mind she's thinking, you know, well, you know, Heather had a chance to put me on six months ago and she didn't. And now she's coming to me as if it's like, oh, like, you know, like, as if, as if, like, wow, isn't this so great when I'm really only the second choice? And so I can see maybe how she could be, like, maybe offended, but even then she should be like, you know what, that's ridiculous. I should not be offended right now. I'm being offered a platform, and I should thank this bitch,

even if she is condescending to me. Well, she could just say, oh, so now that we're shooting the actual season you'll have me on your fucking news show and you won't call your own personal trainer first thanks a lot Heather thanks a lot and then Heather would be like I'm offended and she'd be like I'm just playing you know be passive aggressive about it I mean don't just be a flat-out bitch and then we see from the previews next week that she's gonna do it anyway it's like what a bitch heather should have just pulled it from her and then meanwhile terry gets dragged into this because tamra's like well i was getting texts from terry where he was saying i told her not to do it i told her not to do it and i was surprised that terry was not you know decapitated by heather but he actually had an excuse ready to go, which is he was saying,

no, I wasn't telling her not to have the guest on. I was telling her not to do the segment at all. But it was so pitiful. It was so stupid. No one cares about Good Day LA. That's why you're on it. But you know what, though? I do have to give Heather credit because it seems like, I guess,

every year there's a controversy that brews around one of her ridiculous minor gigs. Yeah, but you know what? One thing we've learned about Heather this season, for sure, I mean, we've always known that she's a stuck-up twat, but what we know for this season, for sure, is that she's a complete liar and fabricator and Paul Bunyan. She doesn't tell the truth.

Everything she says is a lie. I mean, that whole thing from the beginning of the season that wasn't even close to being true and i can't wait to the reunion where they show her lying her face off and then show clips of what really happened i mean talking about the chair or yeah that whole chair thing and you know what's her buns coming at her yelling at her and waving her finger and acting hysterical and blah and she's like it's about perception you know it's bullshit it's not about perception. Heather actually has the funniest controversies of all time.

She has a big fight about a chair. She has a fight about Malibu country. And now she has an issue with Good Day LA. It's actually hilarious. And she's a gem as a result of that. But here's actually a very, here's Curtis Jensen, one of our listeners, wrote this comment on our Facebook page. He says, Tamara has a serious problem with believing the worst about people

based on hearsay from third parties. It's what she did to Gretchen. Instead of trusting the person who she knows, she tossed the people to the wolves and accuses them of crimes against friendships and then sticks a flag in the ground around the lie. Heather was right. Why would she intentionally do something to hurt Tamara?

It doesn't make any sense. If you love Tamara because she stirs up drama, that's fine. But can we clarify that she's the worst kind of person imaginable and really shitty friend and that Heather is the actual person we would want to know in real life? At least I would rather have a mature, intelligent, talented woman like Heather over an irrational bitch who would turn on me in a heartbeat. Well, first of all, no one here likes Tamara. Tamara is a total C word.

We all hate her. She's an awful human being. She seems like an awful parent, an awful wife, an awful friend, an awful everything. I mean, an awful celebrity. Like her appearances on Watch What Happens are just disgusting. The woman's a horrible human being. No one likes Tamara, okay? But that doesn't make Heather any better.

Heather is a stuck up woman who hasn't done shit she's a third-rate actress who'd never had any career besides appearing on some terrible sitcom Jenny McCarthy was in in like 1982 she doesn't do shit with her life except marry some rich dude brag about his money like she's actually had it her whole life she's a nouveau riche stick up her ass bitch I'm so sick of hearing how Heather is so great and so nice. Heather is not nice. She's not a good person either. She's a total fake, phony user.

And she's a housewife and a D-rate celebrity doing anything she can to be on TV. Like, Heather is no better. She's sucky too. Here's my feeling on it. I think in terms of quality of their personalities, I think Tamara is the worst person. I think in terms of people

that I sort of like on the show, which is sort of different, I like Tamara more than Heather. But I think to get to Curtis's point, in real life, if I had to choose between the two, it's not a great choice, but I probably would choose Heather because even if she is

condescending and she does have a totally distorted view of reality I feel like there's some intelligence there more than Tamara although Tamara seems more fun Heather speaks like she has intelligence.

She has that voice. She has the authority. She was like, she speaks slowly for you so that way you understand this. But she wasn't trying to speak to you in that way. The only thing that Heather has ever really had to discuss is how rich her friends are their planes how rich she is her new home the acting work she's done which is total bullshit um i don't i wouldn't hang out with heather she won't even go stand on a basketball court and play play around with people because she's so fucking uptight she stands at the top of the stairs and watches them with that

stick up her ass. I would not hang out with someone like that. I mean, Tamara's an awful human being. But at least she's fun. You could get wasted with her and go push some fuckboys down over her. You know, like, that's fun. You could have so much fun with Tamara. You get your ear fucked with Tamara.

I mean, what are you going to do with fucking Heather? That's the thing. I mean, I feel like as evil as Tamara is, you could have so much fun with her. I bet she would come on this podcast and she would actually be hilarious and she'd be so much fun. Heather is so not fun at all. But I don't know. It's almost like someone took a human being and took two parts of their personality and put them into two separate humans. And really, like, one cannot exist without the other properly.

I don't know. I don't know what I'm saying. But anyway, so they had this fight, and then they quote-unquote squashed it, but then, of course, Tamara went and started talking to Shannon about it, and of course, I love Shannon. She's my favorite on the cast, and, you know, Shannon's like, well, you know, that Heather, she's so condescending. You know, it's so condescending. And then they all start talking about Heather, and then Heather walks in the room, and it is so quiet and awkward and awful that

I was, when I was watching it, I, like, actually had to pause this TV and just, like, stop for a moment because I'm like, this is about to get terrible so quickly. Well, because it's, like, another, it's that part of the year where tamra is mean to somebody again for no reason and this time she's weaker than usual because

she's actually trying to make people believe still that she's a good person like she was last year remember and it's she's obviously not and it's just been talking mad shit but is so upset when it's brought up by the new bimbo and because she's not ready to go at it with heather and for good reason she has no leg to stand on she could not fight and then heather's like did you do that did you go poopoo in your pants did you you tell me did you go poopoo in your pants i'm not going to give you a spanking this time but i'm going to give you a stern warning missy stern warning Poopy in the toilet. Well, Heather does.

I mean, she really, as Shannon says, Heather is very, the one thing she is good at is turning the thing around. Like if Tamara's like, you know, I really didn't like how you murdered that person. And then Heather would be like, do you understand how difficult it was for me to walk in here and have you say that to me because yeah i i sure i may have murdered that person then but i'm not murdering someone now and for you to bring that

up to me now is totally out of place yeah like oh yeah you're right i'm sorry and also shannon has no place in this fight and she's only fighting it because she's mad at Heather because she doesn't like Heather. Well, no, because I think Shannon... She just wants to yell at Heather. Well, Shannon, you know, the best part about Shannon is that at any given moment, she's, like, going to explode on someone. You know, she's like, David, David, don't do that, David.

You know? David, is that tequila? Oh, jeez, David. Meanwhile, David's like, you know, if you're in a good mood when you have sex, you have a boy, and if you're in a pissy mood, you hate life, you're gonna have a girl. Oh, hey, Sophie. Father of the year.

By the way, I don't think that Lizzie was stirring the pot when she was like, can you guys just talk about this? I think she was like, this is so fucking awkward and you guys are being ridiculous. Can you just, like, get this over with so we can get back to a normal party? I think she was just calling Tamara out because Tamara's such a bitch.

I mean, Tamara and Shannon both just sitting there talking about it. And then, you know, Tamara having to come in and make a big deal about it at a Christmas party. And, you know, she's obviously just trying to stir the pot. So it was funny. It was funny kind of that Lizzie did that. But, again, I just don't get why they cast people who are just so different from the other women. I think Shannon works because she automatically fits in. She's in the right age group.

But by casting some big dumb bimbo with big old fake old boobs. I don't think she's a bimbo, but I know what you're saying. I think what was also funny was the way Heather, once Shannon started yelling at Heather, she's like, you know, you're saying i think but the i what i was also funny was the way heather once shannon started yelling at heather she's like you know you're so condescending heather was just like wait a second are we gonna have this argument now we're gonna have this argument which argument should we do right now just like heather was like trying to control traffic a little bit in her brain yeah it's like well i'm mad at you now because you told her to pick sides i mean you told her to pick sides and it's bad you told her to pick sides, and it passed. David, David, get the potatoes out of the microwave. She's picking sides.

Geez, now they're down there all alone while we're up here with potatoes. I mean, what are they going to talk about down there? What are they going to do, David? David, David, she's being very condescending, and I'm feeling very misunderstood right now. Okay, all right, all right, all right. Well, those cost $5,000, those candles, David.

I hope you make them work, David. Those were expensive. I spent $5,000, David. The smoke they give off does not go into your lungs. They're specially engineered that way. And that's just the way it is. So the best part of all this, though, is that once the dust kind of settled, Heather had the worst exit of all time. though, is that once this dust kind of settled, Heather had the worst exit

of all time. The worst fake exit. She just pulls the phone out of her purse. She's like, Nikki? Nikki? Oh, your stomach's hurting? Oh, Terry, his stomach's hurting. He's like, oh, honey, your stomach's hurting? Oh, wow. Okay. Well, we gotta go. Bye.

Yeah, why don't they just say, look, this is lame. You guys fight amongst yourselves. I'm going go. Bye. Yeah, why don't they just say, look, this is lame. You guys fight amongst yourselves. I'm going home. Bye. Yeah. By the way, the strangest thing to come out of the episode was learning that Terry's brother was in Quiet Riot. Yeah. I love that he's

explaining it to someone who has no idea what he's talking about. He's like, yeah, no big deal. He was just number one over Michael Jackson. Okay. I know. He was being so obnoxious about it. I was like, you know, Terry, you're kind of an asshole, too. he's talking about he's like yeah no big deal yes he was just number one over michael jackson okay i know that was he was being so obnoxious about i was like you know terry you're kind of an asshole too um it is it is hilarious if heather debro being a former sister-in-law to the quiet riot i mean because you know the guy died but like it is it is like to match she's not quiet and she's not a riot it's like he went opposite of his family.

I can just imagine at a Quiet Riot concert, Heather comes on stage and goes, You have to keep it down, okay? I respect the music, but what's happening here is not okay with everyone over here. You are screaming and yelling like lunatics. I mean, I feel endangered. I feel like an endangered species on this stage because you are yelling and screaming like lunatics, waving your fingers at people while you're singing. This is called quiet riot.

Okay? This is what I pay for. Quiet. You are telling us to come on, feel the noise. But I don't hear noise. and I have a problem with that. Oh, Heather. She's so boring. She is.

Should we move on to Ladies of London? I mean, even if you think about the fight, it was funny because that fight was mostly funny just because Shannon wouldn't let anything go. I just think Shannon's personality is so funny. But that was the most awkward scene ever. And when Heather leaves, she goes up to Tamara and she's like, Listen, Tamara, I love you, but I do not love you.

Ronnie, are you back? Oh, yeah. Was I gone? You said you were about to talk about how Heather was like. Just how Heather left. Yeah, how she was like, I love you, but I don't like you right now. I do not like you right now, Missy. You think about that very, very deeply, okay? I want you to turn around, look into that corner, and count to 20, okay?

Until you're ready to come back out here. Now, I'm going to call my son right now. It's like, oh, Heather, you're speaking to the back of here. Now, I'm going to call my son right now. It's like, oh, Heather, you're speaking to the back of your phone. Oh, sorry. My phone has a carport. Let's move on to Ladies of London because we still have also New York City to get to as well.

Okay. Okay. So still loving Ladies of London. You know, this episode wasn't quite as, maybe not quite as good as the first episode but i still um i still really enjoy it it really is grown-up gallery girls and it's the best yeah um i like that i mean this one i took so many notes on i guess because they're all so new and i'm finding everything to be so hilarious but i love how at the beginning the british girls are like,

Oh, the Americans and the Americans like, God, they've all got sticks up their asses. And one of them goes, what about that girl, Annabelle? She seems kind of reserved.

Doesn't she? And then it cuts to, it cuts to Annabelle at the polo thing, just like lying down on a couch. Like she can't even bother to like sit up straight. She's just like, I was friends with, I was friends with someone famous.

I was Alexander McQueen's muse. I'm going to just lay here until Alexander comes back, darling. Darling, it's not a club. It's a mallet. With little three dogs. I

did like how for for all for as much they talked about being classy it was like the caprice show and how she like she made this announcement to the british tabloids about how she's having two babies at the same time and is there nothing going on in london i mean how could that be front page news well when she's like kate middleton is the most famous woman in the world and i'm on the front page i'm like kate middleton has been on the front page every day because you have nothing else to fucking talk about i mean what does kate middleton do she married some fucking balding pot belly ginger who's really rich and has a title that's all she does like they're like kate middleton went shopping today oh fascinating i couldn't fucking beat her i think the fact that some woman who looks like a

man alien is having not one but two children is pretty damn fascinating i here's what i think is fascinating is that i completely forgot until one of our listeners posted it on our facebook page that caprice was on season five of The Surreal Life. So you know what? She can stop acting like she is part of British society and that she has any semblance of class because she was on a TV show with Bronson Pinchot, Omarosa, Janice Dickinson, and Jose Canseco, okay?

You are not classy. Yeah, that's an automatic lose. Yeah, and she was so boring and bland on that, that even though I watched that entire season, I had completely forgotten that she was on it, and when I went back to watch clips, I still was like, I don't remember this girl at all. I love that, I didn't watch that show.

I love that they were showing the surrogates, what do you call that? Baby x-ray thing? Gestational carrier. Yeah, so she and her husband are watching the pictures of the baby in the other stomach and you just see how the other child's life is

going to go because it wasn't natural born. They're like, ew, is it eating its knee? Gross. It looks like a plate of spaghetti. That thing's disgusting. Ew, it's ugly. Ew, is it yawning? Gee, are we boring you? Go to your room you're not eating honey you look beautiful i know what i also love is you know when caprice starts talking in

her fake british accent she's like hello i'm caprice and i have such kind words to say about my babies and then she gets she gets on skype with her mom from hacienda heights and her mom's like hey hon yeah her mom's like just got back. Her mom's like, just got back from Ross. Got the baby something to suck on the second it comes out of the maid you hired to have her. She's Barb. Wouldn't that be awesome if her mom...

Let's just make her mom Barb. Yeah, her mom is Barb and Caprice is like, well I just got some clotted cream from the market. What's cot cream? That sounds disgusting. Mother, mom, mom it's clotted cream from the market. What's cot cream? That sounds disgusting. Mother, mom, mom, it's clotted cream. It's all the rage. When you get a cut, that gets clotted

up because the blood hits the air and then it gets dry. It's like a God's band-aid. Mommy, mommy, three people tweeted about me today. It's such a wonderful day. Keep your tweeter in your pants. That's how you got into this mess. You're having two babies from different dads

on two different continents. Barb is like my Shannon impersonation, slowly turning into Leah. So the other, by the way, the other thing that Caprice did that- Caprice Brown! So the big thing that was this episode was that there was this ball

or this party called the Serpentine Party, which was a legit party because the celebrities that showed up were actually real celebrities and royals. But it was like the party to go to. And first of all, Caprice cracked me up because the dress you wore to it was it looked at first like a nice, pretty dress. And it had these big green insects on it. It was like that was like a last game of frogger on that dress that was disgusting and i love that carolyn's like caroline's like pregnant women should not be allowed to dress themselves it's a posh put down um but the big thing was

that noel so noel is the one who looks sort of like an Olsen twin and Portia de Rossi mixed together Gracie Lords B-movie whore she's the one dating this guy Scott who is in the middle of a terrible divorce that's gone on for nine years and blah blah blah oh my god can we talk about the apartment that he was trying to get her that's $6500 a month and she's like

I deserve better than this really bitch what have you ever done that didn't involve sliding something down your throat? Give me a break. Thank you. Thank you. I love how she goes out of her way all episode to say, I'm not a gold digger, even though she's American. I'm not a gold digger.

She literally said, love is blind. Well, thankfully, they've got Braille now on ATM machines. said, love is blind. Well, thankfully, they've got Braille now on ATM machines. She, for someone who was supposedly so not concerned about material things, she was, put up

a big attitude about a perfectly lovely flat, and she was so obsessed with getting into this serpentine ball that there's just no way, you can't act like that big of a social climber and then tell us you're not a gold digger yeah yeah all she was was obsessed that whole time with that stupid thing oh i wanted to say one uh more thing about caprice that i wrote down

um a how old is she how is she naturally giving birth and why didn't jessica tandy have these drugs because we could have had another little Jessica before she died and the second thing is I love when she was like mom are his lips full like ours oh yeah your lips are not full they're full of cement

oh will he have big breasts as well mom mom have you injected any saline into the baby yet, Mum? Have Romana just lay there, Mum. Alright, get a sack of flour, mix a little water, put it in a syringe, and just hope you get the baby's lips, Mum. Alright?

Mum, Mum, will the child have a British accent too? Does he genetically have a British accent, too? Does he genetically have a British accent, Mum? Mum, please play episodes of Frasier so the baby can have as much of a British accent as I do. Please, Mum. Mum, what sort of Chevrolet should we name the baby? I'm Caprice, so perhaps he could be a Chevy Tundra. Is there such a thing as a Tundra?

Tahoe. Could we name him Tahoe? Could we name him RAV4, Mum? Mum, could we name him Tahoe? Could we name him Rav4, Mum? Mum, could we name him Zuzu? Mum, could we name him Chrysler Crown Royale? Is that a car, Mum? Mum, could we name him Continental?

Mum, I don't know very many cars. I'm like, Mum, Mom, can we name him Continental? Mom, can we name him the Orange Line bus? I'm like, Mom, can we name him Camry? Can we name him Corolla? Mom, can we name him Driver's Ed Vehicle? So, they're awful lips. what else so they uh caroline had an extra had an extra pass and then my favorite part was that then she had one pass to give to scott and to noel so as much as noel is a social climber and everything scott as the gentleman should have been like okay honey there's pass. But you could see for a moment

he actually wanted it. He was like, I don't know if she needs to go to this. I'm going to go instead. I was like, oh, wow. These two deserve each other. Yeah, it's like, we'll flip for it. Really? What a gentleman. Yeah. Well, they're kind of both disgusting,

and I cannot wait to see what happens. Nothing really good can happen to any of these women so far except I would say Caroline because maybe she's going to be really bitchy later on. I think she's really funny and she seems genuine at least. I think Caroline

is going to get into a fight or have a fallout with Caprice because on the first episode she's like oh I just love Caprice she's like an honorary Brit I'm like okay they're gonna hate each other by the end of the season and already she's like oh god how needy can you be do you have any

dignity left to sell your own story to the magazine I know it's not a very British thing to sell your own story and on top of that the previews for next week she says that she's starting to like Juliet. I think her name's Juliet, the Chicago...

Yeah. And Juliet and Annabelle get into a fight next week, and it's hilarious because Juliet's like... She's saying something like, you think you're so special? You think you're so special? And Annabelle's just laughing. She's like... She's like, look at the little dog.

Barking, yapping. So American. Yapping laughing. She's like, I've never heard of it. She's like, look at the little dog barking and yapping. So American. Yapping dog. Let's go on to, speaking of barking dogs, let's go on to New York City. Real Housewives of New York City. Yeah, that's some yapping dogs. Yapping, yapping, yapping dogs. This show is hell-er-ious.

I have enjoyed parts of New York in the past, but usually I find it to be like New Jersey where it's so toxic and mean that it makes me uncomfortable. And I don't like it stresses me out to watch it, like especially the Jill Zarin years, like the end of the Jill Zarin. That last Jill Zarin year was just horrible. Like it was so hard to watch until Scary Island. Yeah. Which was horrible, but also wonderful. But usually it's really hard for me to like that show just because I don't like all the neurotic, mean people.

But this year, it's magically amazing every time. Yeah. Honestly, I think that OC and New York are hitting a stride right now. Both shows are hilarious and entertaining every episode. Yeah. Well, this one, most of it is because of the downfall of sonia i mean sonia will probably be dead soon let's face it will be here's the thing sonia talks so much about having sex with these guys i'm trying to get convinced that she has sex with none of them

oh really you think she's one of those i think she's all talk i mean look when kristin went over to her house at one point and sonia wasn't there yet, and then Sonia walks in, she's like, oh, sorry, I'm doing a walk of shame. I'm like, you did a walk of shame with a microphone pack on? Yeah, right, this was totally set up. Oh, yeah, that's true. Well, I just figured the producers were outside with mics. Well, I guess it could have been that too,

but I don't think so. I don't know, I believe her. I mean, Sonia's like that slightly chunky girl in junior high who blew the entire football team to be accepted but didn't realize that it just made her a stupid fat whore. That's true. That's kind of Sonia. And she really did flash her beaver a lot this episode. Oh, my God.

We got a double beaver flash. That thing, I mean, it was buzzed out, and it still looked like tree bark. At least she didn't do it at the cancer luncheon, because there's one thing that we've known about Luann all these years. You cannot be lewd when talking about cancer. Oh my God. Luann had a cancerous stick up her butt this episode

and it was amazing. And how have they not added Luann to the opening credits yet? I know. Luann is doing much more. Luann is so good this season. I mean, if they're willing to take Aviva off

for some certain episodes for not being in them, then just add Luann in. Agreed. Totally agreed. She deserves it. She's earned it. Well, so I guess... Who does that during a cancer event? Well, remember season two when Ramona had a conversation with Luanne?

Luanne was doing something at the Cancer Society, like making dinner for cancer patients. And Ramona said something like, well, you know, you married someone. You married an older man. And Luanne's like, I can't believe she would say that at the Cancer Society.

Not at the Cancer Society. Never at the Cancer Society. And she got so mad at Ramona for talking about this stuff at the Cancer Society as if cancer patients were suddenly like, they couldn't hear about it. Somehow it would ruin their quality of life. So when all this happened uh this episode at a cancer fundraiser and luann started going crazy i was like oh my god aviva doesn't know what she's about to uncork with luann you do not

pass around text messages at a cancer function for the Cancer Society. Not at the Cancer Society of Cancer Functions. Cancer, oh. Yes, well, the whole thing at the beginning with Sonia still freaking out from last week, being wasted, insisting she's going to leave. She gets all her bags, she

goes outside, and she's like, Andy, Andy. And unfortunately it's not bobblehead sitting there jerking off, watching women fight with each other. It's Luann's limo driver. And she's like, take me back to the city, Andy. And I love that Carol knows Sonia so well already. She's like, we're not following her out because if she doesn't get attention, she'll come right back in. And sure enough, she came right back in.

And then when she came in, she was like, you i don't understand i mean you know i came back you know i was having a wonderful time and i came back and you guys were all mad at me i don't understand that like no no which is like by the way the 10th time one of these women on this season has had like a crazy delusional moment like when ramona was like you know what Heather sometimes you talk too much and Heather's like well I guess maybe I do talk too much and I was like I never said that I never said that or whatever the hell it was

that was exactly it yeah I was funny you know what Heather sometimes you're an asshole okay you're just an asshole well okay well you know if you're gonna call me an asshole I never called you an, I never called you an asshole. I never called you an asshole. Well, I love that Sonya came in, acted like it was everybody else who was yelling the whole time.

Then she eats cheese and farts all over everybody. Yes. My God, this show. And she's like, let's go out to crazy Saratoga and flash our beavers. I am kind of mad at this show for making us watch more Avery scenes. I do not care. And Avery's like, I've only driven a BMW. This poor person car is so different.

It's like, get used to it. Because the second your mom and dad divorce, that money is going to be gone, bitch. You're going to have to get a damn job. You know what? It's good to parallel park. It's good to parallel park. I hate them. I mean, I don't hate them. I hate that whole storyline. Yeah. But luckily it's good to parallel park i hate them i i mean i don't hate them i hate that

whole storyline yeah but luckily it's not as excessive go away luckily it's not as excessive as um who was it last season oh it was uh uh what's the face gg gg who like took 20 episodes to go yeah it was both him and pete remember what am i gonna do all am i supposed to do here in my house i'll find myself my children or my life i've been standing at the mailbox trying to meet a man and nobody's putting nothing in my slot i'm putting locks on my wall because i love my daughter. So, I feel like there was just sort of generic filler. Yeah, the best thing by far was at Aviva's

house. Okay, well, during this cancer thing, Aviva starts sending around a text right in the middle of the lady's speech. She's talking about how her mom died of cancer or whatever. And Aviva's like, look, it's a twat text from my dad. And the ladies are all laughing openly during this woman's mom died of cancer. Because Miss USA, ex-Miss USA was at this thing.

And Aviva's like, oh, my God, I think she had a threesome with my dad, which is not something I would brag about. Like a couple of days ago. She's like, I can't believe she's here. My dad just banged her and Cody at the same time. What is she doing here? This is so crazy. Which is not something I would brag about. What part? Can you spell America? Do you like America? What's the best thing about America? Do you like pie? Do you like pie from America? Now I know why that guy broke up with Sonia. Because you know, that's exactly how Ramona was questioning his mom. So, okay, so you went over to George's house, okay? So then what time did you leave?

Okay, you left at night, okay? So did you take the subway? Okay, did you take the L train? Okay. Did you take the L train? Okay. Did you take the one train? All right. Did you stop at a hot dog vendor? Okay.

So when you were on your way to George's house, did you take a car or a subway? Okay. So I didn't go to George's house. Okay. So but when you were walking up to George's apartment, okay, did you walk over that vent that made warm air go up into your vagina region? I didn't go to George's apartment. Okay. But when you were at George's apartment, did you take it in your mouth or your butt or did Cody stick her finger up you?

I'll know because I'll know from all the cuts from all of those Swarovski crystals. So did you and George and Cody, did you guys do it in the dining room? Okay. So if not the dining room, then what about, was it the kitchen? Or was it the room with the yellow wallpaper? That's a trick question because the dining room is in the room with the yellow wallpaper. See, I think about these things, okay? So now after you left the room with the yellow paper, did you then, did your brain explode immediately from all the yellow wallpaper?

No? Okay. Well, now I know you're lying because no one can get out of that room without wanting to blow their brains out that's probably by the way why everyone gets into a fight at aviva's house because yellow is supposed to be the most hostile color and they go in there and they see that that like that seizure inducing wallpaper and they just want to strangle each other yeah and they're like ink blots like that stuff that psychiatrists use to tell if you're gay so they can out you to your parents

when you're 14 years old. What are those called? Rorschach. Yeah, Rorschach. Rorschach. Rorschach. Rorschach. Swarovski.

I wish Ramona got her own CSI spinoff. Oh my God. Okay. So here's what's happening. I found someone dead on the beach and so I came over here to ask you if you did anything. I saw some blood on his shirt.

So tell me what you think about shirts. Do you like collars or v-necks? I just want to see Ramona insert shit at someone. My mother always said you have to start your own crime lab because you don't want to have a man responsible for your own crime lab if you ever get divorced. You have to have your own crime lab, okay? So you try and get Mark Hallenberger convicted for every single crime just because she's prettier. Did someone with red hair do it? Was it a woman?

Was it a woman who used to be on a show that was like MASH but worse? I don't know. She's like, Ramona, the suspect, they ran into the woods. Well, I'm sorry. I can't go in there. I'm sorry. It reminds me too much of my father. I'm sorry.

He'll just have to go. I'm sorry. I'm going back to the Hamptons, okay? Like, it's just too much for me, okay? Like, when I see the woods, when I see a murderer, it reminds me of my father, okay? And that's just very hard for me. I understand that there's someone out there who might be killing other people, but I have memories of woods, and it reminds me of when I grew up, okay? Oh, my God. This victim has a spaghetti mark on her face.

I cannot do this case because I remember one time when my father, he threw a string of spaghetti at my mother's head and it stuck there. And then they were yelling at each other. And all I could see was the string of spaghetti sticking on my mom's forehead. And I cannot take this case anymore because I'm traumatized by spaghetti strings on forehead. So this body was found in a trash compactor. OK. And the thing is, I can't go near a trash compactor. I just hope you understand.

I can't do this because my father would generate trash. He would eat food and then have to throw things out. And he'd throw them in the trash compactor, and it reminds me a lot of my childhood. So I just really can't be around it, okay? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I cannot do it. Listen, I would love to talk to you about this case in a restaurant, but I can't be in restaurants because you're about to say check, please. And one

time I was at a restaurant with my mother and my father and they got in a fight and he asked for the check. And now I'm traumatized by people asking for checks. Can we please talk about this case somewhere outside, just not on the sidewalk? Because one time my mom was walking on the sidewalk and my dad tripped her and then she fell and she said, you tripped me. And he said, no, I didn't. And then she cried. And now I can't be on sidewalks. Excuse me, sir. I, I, I just, I want to apologize. I want to apologize. Okay. Because when I accused you of murder, okay, I did not mean to hurt you. It was just, it was a knee jerk response because what was happening was reminding me of my childhood. So when I saw

you there and I thought of my father, I thought, this person's a murderer, okay? So I'm sorry and I got you these flowers and I really want to apologize from the bottom of my heart. Okay. Hey, dead person, I'm sorry.

Dead person, I'm sorry Dead person I'm sorry I can't find out Who killed you But one time I saw this bug On the ground And I was gonna Keep it for my pet

And my dad Stepped on it And now I can't Look at bugs Anymore Without thinking Who killed them And I don't even

Want to know Because it turns out It was my father Okay I really can't Go down to the morgue Right now okay It's just

It's very difficult for me. Because it rhymes with Marg. And Marg Hellenberger is prettier than me, and I think she's killed everybody on CSI ever. Twist! Twist! So for the first 15 years of my marriage, I thought that Mario was, his name was Margio, okay?

So when I see Marg Hellenberger, it reminds me of Mario. It reminds me of how he cheated on me, okay? So as you can understand, I just can't deal with him right now. Okay. Poor Ramona. Poor Ramona. I loved her detective work. So anyway.

So I'm glad Ramona did Miss America a huge favor by going over and telling her that George is telling the entire world that he banged Miss America. And Miss America, you can tell she's like, uh, I, what? She's like, no. Why would Miss America honestly shack up with this pervy old rapey dude and his, like, you know, not-so-pretty fiancé? So gross. Listen, I don't doubt that ex-Miss USA has been in threesomes, but I don't think they've been with George and Cody.

They have not been with George and Cody. Gross. So the funny thing is this. So then Aviva has a quote-unquote art show that's at her apartment. She basically just wants friends to help her decide what art to go up on what walls. And so everyone shows up all dressed up because they think they're going to a real art show. And so then Luann pulls Aviva aside. And Luan is on a rampage. Luan believes that Aviva has invited Miss USA to this thing. And she's like, well, no one knows who Miss USA is. Aviva is the only one. And so she's like, how dare you? How dare you invite her to this cancer thing?

This is a cancer event. How dare you send around the text messages? Who do you think you are? It is just absolutely crass and crude for you to do that. And Aviva's like, Luann, I did not invite her. And I actually believe Aviva because it's so obvious that the producers invited her. I don't know why that didn't occur to Luann at all. But why would the producers invite her unless she really did have something to do with George? And I don't believe that she did. The producers would invite her if believe that she did the producers would

invite her if aviva's telling the producers this and aviva's gonna start something so i don't think that aviva actually invited her but i'm sure aviva told the producers about the situation and producers were like oh hey lady come to this taping where kelly ben simone was i'd like to add and i'd also like to add that i called it when i I saw it in the mask, I was like, hi, Kelly Ben Simone. Oh, God, Kelly Ben Simone. She still has nothing to say except some stupid book she's writing about the history of the Hamptons. I'm so sure. Kelly, get the hell out of here.

I know. It's going to be basically more coherent than an E.E. Cummings poem. Yeah, she's like, it's a mixture of history and anecdotes like this is where the beautiful hamptons house started and this is where i first fucked a rich guy who gave me more than 20 dollars like oh god let's not mix the two it'll be like one page will be like close your eyes and turn the page now open your eyes now close your eyes 50 pages will be her just being close your eyes and open the eyes. You're angry. No, you're sad.

You're angry. Oh, I have to read this. This is from Lance Williams on our Facebook page. He wrote, I follow Luann on Instagram, and she used to have quite a few pictures with Miss USA up from before the luncheon. But now they are all gone except the photo from that day. Oh, that's hilarious. Poor Miss America. She's like, you better get me the hell off that website or that instagram well i loved um i loved how fired up luann was and the best was you know

because her daughter uh aviva had bought a drawing or i don't know if it was a painting a piece of art from luann's daughter and luann's acting all horrified by this and aviva's like well you know people talk about sex you know your daughter includes sex by this. And Aviva's like, well, you know, people talk about sex. You know, your daughter includes sex in her art. And Luanne's like, how dare you? How dare you talk about my daughter's sexy art while I'm trying to talk about a cancer event? Yeah. Do not talk about sex while I'm talking about a cancer event.

That is just tasteless. Yeah. I love when Luanne, when they're talking about this text message and being passed around and luann said like she's like if i had seen it i would have vomited up my salad and then of course aviva had surprisingly the best line of the night when she's like since when is luann the policewoman of ladies luncheons i'm like since forever bitch yeah since the beginning of time she like popped out man popped out and was like, alright, let's do lunch.

I don't know, I just made her a lady. One thing. Here's the lady, it's a lunch. Everybody laugh. Okay, let's talk about the facialists. And I'm not talking about George. Get it guys, get it guys.

I'm not even going to try to do this woman's accent because it'll be totally racist. You need to get your face done? Okay, come here. I do your face. Oh, your face looks so much better than it did after that time

you let that elephant come on you in Africa. I heard. I heard that elephant come on your face in Africa. She truly had like the most stereotypically Asian accent that if I were to do it right now,

people would just assume I'm just being just crazy, crazy Asian racist because it's so... Oh, you're calling me racist right now? She said something like, she's like, you're with Hyun?

I was like, she even said like, she's like, actually? I was like, oh my God, I can't believe this. I'm going to have to talk about this in the podcast. I'm going to get in so much trouble. Why?

Actually, I mean, I think we're still allowed to make fun of Asians. Well, we're well, in this case, we're making fun of the specific woman. I love how everything changes so much. You can make fun of whoever you want to. OK, no one's going to judge you. And if they do, just say sorry. Hey, you know what? I'm looking at...

I just want to announce, because you guys, we've been celebrating our listeners today because of 2,500 and everything. One of the running things of this podcast has been the fact that it's really hard for me to do it at this time because the mailman comes and that's when Bueller starts barking. And I just want to announce that the mailman just came and Bueller just laid there. His ears perked up and he just late. He's given up on life.

You guys, Bueller, you know how sexual that sounds. The mailman came and Bueller just laid there. Yeah. The Bueller, the mailman came all over my wall and Bueller just laid there. Yeah.

Um, so anyway, I thought that, that, that lady who does the facial, and Bueller just laid there. So anyway, about that lady who does the facial. I love that she had the dirt on every single person in that town. She's like, oh yeah, that lady she likes short French people

because she can be in church in bed. It's like, church? She's like, not in church. Church? No, in church. She likes to be in church. She's like, oh, I thought you were saying they like to, not in church. Church? No, in church. She likes to be in church. She's like, oh, I thought you were saying they like to have sex in church. It's like, even Sonia has to even

take a conversation about sex and make it more about sex to convince us that her vigilante still works. Shut up, Sonia. No. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It was such a good episode. And remember when you had sex with the boyfriend of that lady? Oh, you remember when you had sex with the boyfriend of Carol?

Oh, that was funny. The musician boyfriend? Oh, yeah, you totally had sex with him. She was spilling the gossip on every person. I love it. But to be fair, she also could have just watched TV. You know? She wasn't really saying anything that we didn't know, except that

Carol's boyfriend slept with Sonia, which I'm not even sure that happened. And I love Sonia's view of it. She's like, well, he was flirting with me in California. And then they show the clip, and she's like, climbing him like a tree. Well, I like that he's just basically like, oh, hi, nice to meet you.

I don't believe that. But he's like, oh, hi, nice to meet you. I don't believe that. But he's like, oh, hi, nice to meet you. Ben, are you still there? I'm here. Benjamin, are you still on the podcast? We should probably wrap this up anyway. We've been talking for a long time. What the hell?

I was having fun. I was having fun too, but you know what I also have more fun doing? Participating in my life. Whatever. I don't have one of those. Screw you. You think you're so great with your life.

I have a life. I do not. I have to go to the gym. I might go to Trader Joe's with my friend later. Woo-hoo! Get out the wishbone! Hey, Jay-Z. I'm getting an extra bottle of wishbone for tonight.

Italian and Thousand Island. Anything goes. I want to learn guitar, how to play guitar. And I'm looking at a site right now called Fretlight. Isn't that a little similar to Fleshlight? You guys ponder that until next week. Think about that. So once again, you can follow this podcast on

facebook it's facebook.com forward slash watch what crappens um also subscribe to us on itunes we never tell people to do that anymore but you really should do that um and even leave us a review a five-star review um you can listen to us on citron on soundcloud and you can follow ronnie at trash tweet tv on twitter and he's at trash talk tv.com where he does all sorts of funny You can listen to us on Citroen on SoundCloud. And you can follow Ronnie at TrashTweetTV on Twitter. And he's at TrashTalkTV.com where he does all sorts of funny recaps. And he has a Tumblr, too, with Jeffs. And he's on Instagram at TrashTalkTV or Ronnie Caron. I'm B-SideBlog.com and I'm at B- bsideblog on Twitter and on all those sites.

Instagram. So follow me there too. That'd be fun. And thanks everyone for listening. Thanks everyone for contributing and we hope we got to a bunch of comments today and I guess we'll just talk next week, huh? You guys, thanks for everything. Okay, guys. Bye! Bye!

Bye! if you like listening to comedy try watching it on the internet the folks behind the sideshow network have launched a new youtube channel called wait for it it's got interviews with comedians like reggie watts todd glass Glass, Liza Schleichinger. Schleichinger, I've been friends with her for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there, and I still have a hard time with the last name, Liza. Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com slash wait for it comedy.

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