Watch What Crappens - #135: Waiting To Inhale

Episode Date: July 10, 2014

Ronnie Karam (TrashTalkTV) and Ben Mandelker (bsideblog) take on the season finales of Married to Medicine and RHOA: Kandi's Wedding. Then it's over to Real Housewives of Orange County to watch a marriage implode and more bad manners on Ladies of London. Of course, it's not complete without Ramona being called a cow on Real Housewives of New York. Come on in! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Don't let someone steal your great idea. Register a domain name now and put your idea online. GoDaddy is offering OneNewOrTransfer.com for the low price of $2.95. Whether you're building your dream business or starting a website for fun,

visit GoDaddy.com and enter the code WWC295 at checkout. Just remember that WWC is Watcher Crappins and $2.95 is the price of the domain. $2.95. It's go time. Some limitations apply. See website for details. Watch what crappins. Watch what crappins.

Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappins. Crappins. Crappins. Crappins. Crappins. Crappins. Watch what Crappens? and on Instagram and on Vine, where I'm always looking for more followers because for some reason it makes me happier in life when I have more followers. Joining me, as always, is my trusty compatriot, the one, the only, Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie.

Well, hello, everybody. It's me, Ronnie. Ronnie, why don't you tell everyone where they can find you? You can find me on the internets. My website is Trash Talk TV. That's where a lot of people write really funny recaps, so come read them. I'm doing Big Brother in Two Minutes videos all

summer long, every Friday. And I'm also recapping Big Brother every Sunday night. So come on over to the site. You can also find me on Vine at Ronnie Karam, at Instagram at Ronnie Karam, or Trash Talk TV for funny TV stuff, or Tumblr at Trash Talk TV recaps at Tumblr.com

or on Twitter at Ronnie Karam or Trash Tweet TV. Oh, and YouTube at Trash Talk TV, but T-E-E-V-E-E for all my television parody videos. The end. The end. You know, Ronnie, the way you did that,

that was just so effortless. It so effortless. It was effortless. Effortless. The way I stuck my penis in a girl that looks just like our daughter. It was effortless. The way I'm sweating like a busboy with too many tables. Effortless.

Effortless. Effortless. Effortless. many tables it's Heffaless. Heffaless. Heffaless. Heffaless. I think that when he divorces Ramona finally and leaves her for a 20 year old who looks just like his daughter, he should write a song called Heffaless. Heffaless.

I'm sick of that fast stupid bitch Ramona left to wrap the gynecologist. I'm He a list. You know, it's so nice of you to be singing that song on a world famous stage like the Birdman Jazz Club. Like, I find it to be very exciting. And I think that Luann should sing too. Okay. I just think that's the way it should be.

You cow. I love Luann. You're a cow. So what show do you want to start with first? We're confusing people. I know, I know. We just went full force. Your hosting needs to be a little bit more effortless! Well, why don't we start with the prison show,

as in the show that Apollo will be starring in for the next eight years of his life. Oh, poor Apollo, getting it off the butt is effortless! show, as in the show that Apollo will be starring in for the next eight years of his life. Oh, poor Apollo, getting it off the butt is effortless. Effortless. He's so a bottom, too, in prison. Don't you think? What do you think? Yeah, it could go either way. I'm sure he's like versed. Maybe there's some flip-flopping happening in the jail cell.

I don't think so. I think he's straight up butt. He's the butt boy. So those of you who haven't heard, Apollo was sentenced to eight years in prison. He was going to get 30, but he tattletaled on some other criminal people. And so he only got eight. Yeah. So now he's going back in there. I tend to think maybe he is the bottom.

Maybe when he first went to jail, the first time around, his voice is probably like yo what's up i'm apollo and now he's like hey what's going on i'm apollo yes he had well he's also he's also a total rat now so he's totally gonna be a bottom yeah what's phage gonna do you think page is gonna divorce him no because he'll he can still give her up if he wants to i'm sure she's like baby i help you through whatever you need to get help through you but you never say anything about Phaedra. Phaedra will kill your ass. I mean, there's a reason that no one's testified against Phaedra yet. And it's because

the bitch is scary. Yeah, she real scary. Yeah. Oh, wait. So, there's something that just came up. Oh, wait. So, he's going to be eight years in prison, but 15 years probation. And he has to pay $1.9 million. Which, of course point he has to pay 1.9 million dollars which of course you know he has because everyone in atlanta truly has money if there's one thing that we know

no one buys things on credit in atlanta yeah that's all real money you guys um uh so that's like the big gossip did someone just say you know what's funny by the way madonna heinz put on um Facebook page, which is facebook.com forward slash watch what crap happens. She put a picture of Sonia from Real Housewives of New York at the Birdland and behind her is a woman and

Madonna says, Liza Minnelli again, has this woman no shame? Coincidentally, that woman behind Sonia is actually, she's the wife of someone who went to my synagogue. And yes, she does look like Liza Minnelli. Yes, I noticed that there was a Liza Minnelli lookalike too, and Heather also said, Billy Stritch, he plays for Liza Minnelli, which

is true. He used to be married, I think, to Liza Minnelli until she beat him in the head with a vodka bottle or something crazy. Oh, I thought that was David What's-His-Face, but maybe she did both of them. Oh, that's right, but she was still married to Billy Stritch. I think they left amicably. Oh. Well, what other choice did she have? It's like, he's not into your type, Liza.

Unless you were like a man playing you. Whatever. Well, but gay guys love Liza so much. And after a certain age, really, who wants to fuck anyway? And I'm not saying she can't fuck. I mean, she's like in her 60s probably now. I'm not saying she can't. But I'm not even in my 40s yet.

And I'm pretty much done with it. So I can see how that would work. Yeah, that's true. That's true. I'm looking for other gossip on our Facebook page, but it's all about Apollo. Everything is about Apollo. I don't think that there's anything else to happen. I guess there's rumors that Lisa Rinna is joining Beverly Hills.

Did you hear anything about that? Yeah, it looks like the new cast members are going to be Lisa Renna and this really rich Asian lady that they were posting pictures of Brandy with having lunch with a while back. And I'm guessing that's it. But then they've been posting weird pictures all week. Like there's one of Adrian Maloof

hugging Brandy. So I guess they're making up. Well, because there's rumors that Adrian and Camille are coming back. Yeah, but I think they're going to be like friends of so i can't imagine how that would work but i would love if adrian came back on now because she's been a c-word already so there won't be any of that fake niceness like the first season and also i want to see her try and bang 20 year olds i think that's just so fun oh i know do you think that it's jumping the shark to have lisa rena on no i love lisa rena i mean lisa rena is actually a perfect casting choice for this town i think like to represent this town because she was actually an actress i used to watch her on

days of her lives playing billy and her brother austin was extremely hot i wonder what happened to that guy anybody know let us know let us know if you know his phone number or anything and uh we'll call him up yeah so she was like a legit act i mean not legit but like a legit trash actress and then she married someone famous and quit acting which is like what a lot of that kind of actor does and then she's been a whore for reality shows ever since i think she'll be fun yeah yeah i I sort of likely serve in her own wacky way. She's very much Studio City Sherman Oaks-y. She's very much that style, which I think is funny. I don't know why it's funny.

It just is to me. But yeah, I think she should be good. And now that Harry Hamlin's been on Mad Men, he's really classed up their whole family so it's about time for her to bring it bring him back down again and by being on a reality yeah i have to admit that i'm still kind of mad at her for leaving days of our lives i never quite forgave her because she was recast by some pimpa who banked george clooney i forget her name oh she was the worst what elizabeth canelis no um stacy kiebler no um that woman who he's engaged to now who works at the un or something yeah like the peacekeeper whatever she's like i'm a lawyer for human rights and i was on days of our lives yeah but before that i played billy was the girl from biggest loser um

allison what's her face? No, he didn't bang her. I know. I'm only going through the people I know from Days of Our Lives. Was it Marlena? Was it Marlena? Did George Clooney? I'll look it up.

Billy on Days of Our Lives. Oh, Krista Allen is her name. Krista Allen? She has these gigantic fake boobies, and she's like a really terrible actress, but like super beautiful. Yeah, I'm trying to remember what I've seen her in other than Days of Our Lives. I know she's been in stuff. Is she Krista B. Allen? Krista Allen.

She went on Revenge? No, that's a different Krista. No, that's a different Krista Allen. That's Krista B. Allen. Oh, yeah, that's the girl from Revenge. That's when I was like, wait a second. There's already a Krista Allen. Let's not just forget about the real Krista allen new young krista allen like who the fuck do you think you

are that name is already taken people are gonna get so mad at us we're not talking about bravo right now we are talking about bravo krista allen are we uh sort of tangentially we're still in the oh she was in liar liar that's right yeah she was in like an elevator in one scene which is hilarious yeah she didn't like have a real part because i don't yeah she's been in a lot of stuff actually i'm looking at her imdb and it's all totally crap um so let's move on yeah that was great so um why don't we oh she's by the way raised in ventura california enough said oh there you go. Okay, so while we get to the shows, we had a lot of TV to watch, like almost too much TV to watch this week.

And I'm basically on the verge of being totally burned out by Bravo. But let's see what we can do. By the way, are you feeling better, Ronnie? What? Are you feeling better, Ronnie? Do you think you'll be vomiting this week? I don't think so, but I did have a big old Starbucks which is what got me vomiting last week. But I think I'm okay. I had a lot of milk.

I had a lot of milk, guys. Alright. That's good to hear. My canker sore has healed, finally. So I can speak without tears coming to my eyes, which I know you're all very happy about. Yeah, you can start making out with strangers again and then wondering why you're getting canker sores and calling it a different disease. I am not making out with strangers. I am off the market're getting canker sores and calling it a different disease. I am not making out

with strangers. I am off the market. So I will not be doing any of that. Any of those shenanigans. I got my canker sore because I bit my tongue. I told you last week I bit my tongue with an apple pie. I had an apple pie injury. That's an excuse that makes sense, right? Actually, you're talking to someone who's been overweight this whole life, and I've actually had apple pie injuries.

Oh, good. So you feel my pain. You felt my pain. I'm like, that's not funny. That's a real thing. Yeah. So let's, I guess, should we start with Candy's wedding? Why not?

Speaking of apple pie injuries, this was like the televised version of an apple pie injury. Oh, my God. I was waiting for someone to kill Lady Macbeth. I even hate calling her Lady Macbeth because she's so stupid and Shakespeare was so smart. But Mama Joyce, oh, my God. Mama Joyce is just a vile woman. And you know what? She did go after that girl, by the way.

Todd's daughter. What did he say to her? Because I was playing Candy Crush and I didn't want to rewind. Todd said nothing. Basically, all of a sudden we found out that Todd has a 17-year-old daughter who has appeared out of nowhere. And she's being welcomed into the family. And Candy was... I think Mama Joyce, if I remember correctly, because I was also zoning out washing a dish.

But Mama Joyce said something like, I'm excited for my daughter. And then Candy said something along the lines of like, well, you're two daughters. And she's like, no. And then Mama Joyce basically said, well, I don't care about that other girl. And Candy was like, listen, she's a kid.

Don't say that. Don't start up with her. She's a kid. She's a kid. And Mama Joyce was like, I didn't say anything. I didn't say anything. What? I would never say anything against a kid.

I didn't say anything. And then Riley was like, What? I would never say anything against a kid. I didn't say anything. And then Riley was like, please stop. And then Riley went into another room and cried. But Mama Joyce is so vile because she actually was being very dismissive of this other girl who seemed perfectly nice. And then she wouldn't even fess up to it. It was hideous. Yeah, she's a really disgusting human being, that one. I don't want to talk to that girl over there. Like, why is she talking like that?

She sounds basically like a squeaking door at this point. I don't even know what she's talking about. She seems to be on a lot of pain meds, but still feeling a lot of pain. So I'm not really sure. If that bitch calls me a bitch again, something's going to go down. And Todd's mom's not even trying to make any sense. She's just like, Wait, that'd be hot.

Yeah, she makes Julie notice. It sounds like she's auctioning something all the time yeah no she's um not the most coherent woman of all well meaning like she's she's there but she's not she's not she's not eloquent unlike me uh wait what was this mj is awful calls calls her a dog, says she hates the theme. Oh, yeah. She's just like being mean about it. She's being horrible about everything. And Candy's like, Mommy, you like the wedding?

And she's like, I don't know why you got to have an Africa theme. It looks all nice, all white, and then you got those Africans out there. Shut up. Oh, gosh. It looks all nice, all white, and then you got those Africans out there. And. Shut up. Oh, gosh. And then when the ceremony came, and they're like, who gives away this woman? She's like, I do. And she just ran.

Then all of a sudden you just saw a cloud of dust, and she was gone. God. And then all she did the whole time was sit there and give really dirty looks. She refused to smile in any of the pictures. Yeah, and then finally when it came time for toast, she gets up there and she said, finally, after all this hemming and hawing, she gets up there and she goes, Candy, you look really happy, and Todd, I hope you were able to continue to make her happy. And then everyone gives her a rousing applause.

I'm like, we do not give rousing applause for this woman for giving the most basic level of courtesy in a toast. Well, they're like, congratulations, you weren't a total bitch. Yeah, congratulations, you didn't completely throw your daughter under the bus today. Wow, good for you. That's a first. Yay, you did it. So sad. I know.

And then Todd also. By the way, Todd was annoying me too, by the way. You know, all this prenup stuff where he keeps on saying, it's not about the money, it's not about the money. But then he's like, but then there's money. But he was the one who was actually being like, I need to make sure that I'm taken care of. I need to make sure I'm taken care of. So it's like, it is about the money.

So stop acting like it's not. And then I also couldn't believe he didn't go to his own rehearsal dinner. I mean, I know they had a fight. But I thought that was actually really, that was really shitty to not go to his own rehearsal dinner. Agreed. And he was acting like such a victim when, so finally, he's like, well, I just don't want to get out in 30 days. And Candy's like, okay, so then you'll sign it if I don't kick you out in 30 days after we break up. And he's like, okay.

then you'll sign it if i don't kick you out 30 days after we break up and he's like okay so the lawyer comes with like a video crew to tape him and get his uh you know his sworn statement and he acted like the lady was telling him the most horrible things but she's just basically like if you get a divorce you have no right to candy's money and he's like okay yeah okay and if you get divorced you are not allowed to murder candy steal her children punch uh punch holes in her tires and he's like okay well you're not doing anything great it's a traditional fucking piece of paper at this point. Acting so crazy about. I know.

He was just, I thought, being really annoying. And he was, like, going and talking to his bros about it. I don't know. The whole thing. I'm team candy forever. And that means if Todd's going to be a bitch or if Mom and Josh is going to be a bitch, then I cut them out. I only care about candy. Yeah, me too. I like candy.

Yeah, I'm a big fan. And then nothing else really happened, by the way. It was like 90 minutes. Yeah, that was by far the most entertaining wedding series, I think, that they've had so far. And most of it is because Mama Joyce is just such a disgusting human being. But I'm pretty much done with her.

Yeah, I'm glad this show is over. And I did enjoy some of the celebrity appearances at the wedding, such as, I think we saw Tiny celebrity appearances at the wedding such as I think we saw Tiny from Escape and we saw Monica and we saw Tamar Braxton and we saw Vaughn from the New Atlanta and how dare you not

Ray Fantasia first well you know these are the openers these are the openers for Fantasia you don't start with you don't leave with fantasia i love fantasia okay i still look on the internet to see if they're ever going to release a broadway recording of fantasia singing the color purple because i love you i just i love Fantasia.

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Oh, I thought you had something more to say. No, that's all. I just wanted to make it. I remember Fantasia appearing on American Idol once, like a few years after she'd won. She came and she sang this weird song that sounded like Toad from Super Mario Brothers, but like before Toad. You know, Toad's voice

now is, you know, Toad's like, has this really weird voice like a cartman voice and that's what it sounded like she was like it was like a fast-paced song which is like you want to do say what you want to say i was like they cut to simon and he was his eyes were doing felix the cat they're going left to right. He was like, what the hell is going on? And Fantasia's like in this skin tight leather pants, sweating, running up and down, like seeing a million words a second. Remember that bright red Ronald McDonald hair?

Yeah. You want to say do it. You want to do me. You want to be fair. You want to say go. You want to go. Where are you at? Maybe where you want to be.

I was like, oh my God, what is this crazy? And then she just left. And Simon was like, okay. Oh my God, what is this crazy? And then she just left. And Simon was like, okay. Oh my God, she is so funny. Her music, I can't necessarily get behind. But God, I love her. Her voice is so amazing. I remember when she sang at the Tonys.

Fantasia has this thing where she can rip her heart out. She can always make me cry because she actually feels it. She's ripping her heart out and throwing it on the ground and stomping on it. And then they cut to the Tony audience and they're just bored. Ugh, God. Another person feeling things. Isn't that Doogie Howser in anything this year? Is that Martin Lawrence Ballard in the audience?

Yes, that's the general New York audience. They're like, we live in New York. We climb up a lot of stairs oh everyone else is gross this award show is in a walk-up oh fantasia was an originally a classy movie with classical music and dancing rhinoceroses okay speaking of wildlife by the way how much did you love Portia on the show when she was like, oh, did you see the tigers up front? Those were lions. She's like, oh, what? Yeah, they just arrived on the Underground Railroad. Hilarious. I thought the best part of the whole show was stupid Derek Jay trying to

make drama wherever he goes. Oh, my God. Little midget Nell Carter. I swear to God, if that guy ever does drag, it has to be Nell Carter because he's so a little Nell Carter. I'm gonna vacuum out the fish from the fishbowl. Give me a bank. Now I know what it takes.

We've talked about that before on the show, and I forget who we were calling Mel Carter. It's okay. I'm always happy to make a Mel Carter reference, especially when it involves give me a break. And I know exactly what you're talking about in terms of vacuuming up the fish because i watch that show every saturday i know exactly what you're talking about but yeah he's trying to make all this drama and rico chapelle okay so first a couple things you guys have corrected me on uh rico chapelle is not from project runway i'm dumb he was from the fashion show that terrible Terrible Bravo Spin-Off. Oh, okay. So that was that. And the other thing is that Todd was not just, and this is where Ben was wrong.

I was wrong. Yes, I'm sorry. Todd was not just like some PA. He was actually like a producer. I didn't think he was like a, he's not like a high-level producer. I thought he was like, maybe he's like. Well, reality producers, you know, there's like 30 on every show. It doesn't mean they're,

it's not like Mark Burnett produces Survivor. It's not like that kind of producer. It's more like, oh, they show up and, you know, like order food for people or whatever, but still they make more than a PA.

Sorry. Sorry for misleading everyone. I'm misleading you, Ronnie. Sorry for misleading you, Ronnie. Yeah. But seriously though,

about Rico Chappelle, I mean, for sure, I thought it was bad that he didn't have the dress ready until the day of. Like, that's very bad. And then, you know, I thought it was sort of funny that he gathered it all up in a bed sheet. But you know what, though? There was so much of it. Like, what else should he have done? Like, I think it was fine. Like, you know what?

The poor guy's sweating. The whole thing was, like, last minute. let him bunch it up in a in a freaking sheet of course he's gonna probably go and steam it somewhere so like no issue but yeah but it's a rico sheet so it's probably all crusty and also um they don't just sell like ostrich cages to get that thing what was that thing where do you even get that material from? I have no idea. That looked very heavy and sweaty. But I agree with you. I thought it was totally shady of Derek Jay and Lawrence to be like, oh, he put it in his sheet,

he put it in his sheet. It's like, shut up, guys. It's over, though. Dress looked fine, so who the fuck cares? It's because they're on Fashion Queen, so they think they're actually hired because they know fashion and not because they dress like really ugly women in Floridaida yeah you know what i still laugh at listen if they want if they want to throw shade about that dress being wrapped up in a sheet you know what they got to do they got

to have a podcast called watch for crappins and then they can throw all the shade they want but if they're gonna be on tv and pretend to be friends with candy then shut up. Yeah. We can throw shade. They can't. He's also the one who was like, come on, Mama Joyce. Go give a speech. You have to. It's your daughter. Go on. He's trying to start all this drama. It's like, how about make your own show good? How about that?

How about letting Sheree talk? How about, instead of you guys being funny, how about you let Sheree talk? Yeah, I wanted Sharae to be like, So, where's Kenya? Since she's your new best friend now, since I'm not on the show. That's really interesting. And how about also Mama Joyce using Sharae's line in the episode, where she's like, Who gonna check me, boo?

Who gonna check me, boo? I was like, Oh no, you do not get to use that line, Mama Joyce. That is a hallowed line from a hallowed lady. And you, Mama Joyce, you do not get to use it. I know Sharae Whitfield, okay? I have watched TV about Sheree Whitfield. And you, Mama Joyce, are no Sheree Whitfield. Yeah, you are no Sheree Whitfield.

Sit down, Mama Joyce. Sit the fuck down. Yep. So, yeah, I'm glad that that show's over. But you know Real Housewife Atlanta is starting in like two weeks, right? I know. See? Now, I'm already back with Todd. See? Now, hey, we'm glad that that show's over. But you know Real Housewife Atlanta is starting in like two weeks, right? I know. See? Nah.

I'm already back with Todd. See? Nah. Hey, we got the prenup. Whoa, my candy voice is real weird today. That is wrong, Ben! I just didn't really have anything to say. I was like, I got to have at least one last little candy impersonation before we wrap things up with candy for the season.

That is wrong, Ben! See? Nah. Wrong. She's like, B! See? No. Riley. She's like, oh, wait. I have to say something. I have to say something. We love Riley. This is something that is a given. We love, love, love Riley. Riley is a beautiful young woman

who is growing up to be a lovely lady amidst craziness around her, but the poor girl, that dress was too short on her, I think. They needed a little bit more length. It did not look quite right. I thought it was cute. It was cute, but I don't...

People on the internet are giving her shit. But I think that they were making a dress to kind of look like her mom's, which I thought was really cute. Yeah, but it needed to be a little bit lower. They put that weird Las Vegas flesh crop. I hate that, by the way. Yeah, it's like very figure skater. Yeah, it's like... I felt like, in this case,

I didn't mind the shape of it, but because it was so short, it sort of popped out almost like a tutu, and it was just all about her legs, and she was wobbling around because she didn't really know how to wear heels. It just was not the most flattering look for her. And I feel like Riley, it's a teachable moment.

And the future wears something that goes down just a little bit longer. It doesn't have to be like a church dress or anything. But, you know, just a little bit lower. Yeah, I don't know. I think that poor little Riley, I just felt bad when she was like, Would you guys stop fighting at least for today? No, poor Riley. See now, Riley, wearing tutus

at the wedding. Now, Mama. See now, Mama. Mama. Why ain't I making Riley cry? See now. There's a prenup now. Riley gets to wear tutus. That other orphan girl

should have to wear a little red dress and a ginger wig. Riley! I'm missing that girl. That girl ain't part of my family. Since where does Riley tutu? I want her to be wearing a 1-1 because she's number one.

Now don't forget about that sweet girl there. You about to give all her money to some random old thing no one cares about. She's so transparent. Not today, mama. Not today, mama. Thanks. Mama, I said not today. How can you even tell if Riley's crying?

She always looks the same. She's like the Lisa Nicole of this show. How can you tell if Riley's crying? Because wouldn't you be crying if you had to deal with Mama Joyce so much? You just have to assume she's always crying. Because there's no room for happiness when Mama Joyce is around. Yeah, Mama Joyce sucks it all out of the room. She's the worst.

Should we move on to Marriage Medicine? Yes, please. Mama Joyce is depressing me. All right, so this was apparently the season finale. And, oh, man, was it a nail biter? Okay. Let me tell you what happened. I recorded Married to Medicine because it's the end, you know.

And I was watching it. And when I pressed play on my, like, computer thing, it said, do you want to resume from where you last left off? And I was like, I watched this? And then I pressed play and it was in the middle of a doggy fashion show and I was like I have not watched this but I didn't care I just let it play to the end and guess what I don't think I missed anything you missed nothing

I mean talk about like a bummer second season this was a really bad second season so basically the first half of what you missed was that Mariah had a launch party for Cinnamon Girl and then the women showed up. I'm sorry, only Simone and what's her face? Heavenly.

You know what's so bad? I actually almost called her Hungry, not Heavenly. Oh, God. Well, that's one thing she's not. And then they're like, are you sure? Like, Heavenly's like, are you sure? There's no way you and Quad could build a house? I can help you.

I'm a relationship expert. I know. I can praise the Lord together. You have to admit that that evil mother on that show, what's her name? Mama what? Lucy. Oh, yeah, Lucy. You have to admit that Lucy did beat the Jesus

out of Heavenly, because Heavenly's not saying that anymore every single time. She's not always like, well, praise the Lord. Here's what I feel about Jesus here now. You're wrong, because what you miss is when Heavenly and Lucy sat each other down and things were getting tense and I think either Heavenly or Lucy, one of them said,

well, I'll just praise the Lord. The other one them said, well, I'll just praise the Lord. And the other one was like, well, I'll praise the Lord too. And she's like, well, I'm going to praise him. I'll praise him right now. It's like, oh, is it Sunday? It's like, I can praise him anytime. We should always be praising the Lord. Well, I'll praise the Lord anytime.

Anytime. Anytime. You do that. I was like, what am I watching? Do you think Jesus is like, oh, God, shut up. You're both fat and stupid. a better wig i hope jesus was like a bitchy queen you know because who else would have worked out that much back then you know he's like hot and all bitchy and he's like all right look my dad made me go down to earth

but that does not mean i should be sentenced to the rest of my fucking life with you women thanking me for nothing i haven't done anything up. Stop giving me the credit for everything you dumb whores. That's your terrible diet product, not mine. I'm Jewish, so I can't comment on what Jesus is really like. Yeah, bitchy Jesus. Okay, that's the gay. Because you know how women make God

a woman? I think gays should make Jesus gay. There'd be a lot more people in church. There's black Jesus, There's female Jesus. Yeah. Lord knows we spend enough time on our knees. We deserve a little heaven. Someone just told me, and I only found this out like three days ago, that Like a Prayer by Madonna is a song about oral sex.

Really? Yeah. I'm down on my knees. I want to take you there. In the midnight hour I can feel your power Just like a I don't know That's not obvious enough for me

I don't get it It has to be like And then I swallowed you deep And then you filled me up And then I went to church And then I tasted your cup Like something like that's like super obvious That was the first draft

That was the first draft actually So wait So back to the show One thing that you also miss That was the first draft, actually. So, wait. So, back to the show. One thing that you also missed is that Toya moved into her new house, moved more into her new house that she can't afford. And Heavenly came over. And Heavenly was being pretty funny in the interviews because she was pretty much reading Toya down. And she was like, so, you couldn't get the financing for, like, one home, and you wasted $50,000 on it. So you went to go for a home that cost twice as much to rent to own, and then you're going to go on a vacation now?

Like, honey, what are you going to pay for all this? And then they showed all the random, like, shit that Toya buys. Like, you know, she has, like, a special wine opener and then one of those things random like shit that toya buys like um you know she has like a special wine opener and then one of those things that like aerates it and it was kind of like a hilarious um indictment on toya spending all her husband's money and credit i love when toya's like we worked our whole lives for this we did no you didn't no one works their whole life for a rental home what i what i should did what i should did was say well gene let's put this new house on the market and then let's go on a hundred thousand

dollar vacation because i'm so stressed out about the fifty thousand dollars that we lost and then we get home i'll be like oh my god we just we just spent a hundred thousand dollars i need to feel better let's buy a house that costs even three times as much okay that's what i should do i like the scenes from the reunion when uh andy's like well you know that wasn't nice heavenly when you were saying that toy is not the brightest one of the group and toy is like blinking her big stupid eyes all pissed off and heaven heavenly goes but she's not like there's some times when heavenly is like right on point and there's sometimes we're like oh shut the fuck up heavenly i think heavenly's so funny i like her yeah i mean she's now at the

end i have to say overall if look at all the plus and minuses yeah heavenly is on the plus side she's she's up she's don't tell her that i'm about to say i know i was about to say. I used to be a chunky lady. I was a model. I've lost so much weight. But thanks to Jesus, I've lost all my weight. Let's see. There was a very funny scene in the beginning where basically Jackie and Simone met up in the park. You know how they always do?

basically Jackie and Simone met up like in the park you know how they always do and basically Simone's like okay so you know that quad is having this like puppy fashion show right and Jackie just started to laugh and then Simone started to laugh and then it was just a scene of them laughing at quads fashion show and that's it like we never even got to what Simone was trying to say like you know so there's this they just they're like, yeah, it's a puppy fashion show. And then like Jackie was like, hmm, well, I guess. That was great. I was like chuckling on my couch.

Like I was one of their friends. Water fucking dog show. Listen. I want to show women everywhere that you can be fabulous as a light bulb. You just gotta screw it in. Honey, I am putting down the blanket on fashion

because we are having a picnic here. Honey, put some oil in that frying pan because we are turning the heat up and I am putting some bacon in it. And that bacon is fashion. I'm putting the whirlwind and whirlwind all over Oklahoma.

I am delivering a TV remote to the gods and that TV remote is saying turn on to fashion. Get me a Kleenex, because I'm coming down with some cold. Ooh, I need to put some hairspray on, so that way things stay in place, because my fashion's moving too fast. Oh, Quadlet. So, the dogs looked cute, I guess. But, still, way too much cloth for them

to piss on when you take them out. That's the thing with dogs. You have to leave a lot of room for them to go poop. I thought they honestly looked stupid. I mean, the dogs themselves were cute. I thought the outfits were kind of like over, like they were crazy looking. The dog outfits that I think are cute

are like little sweaters. I think little sweaters always look cute on a dog. I mean, if i were to have to put anything on a dog which i'm not not about but if you have to put something in a dog on a dog little sweater is the way to go i don't think you need a big frilly dress that's stupid that's annoying yeah it's gonna drag on the ground and get pee on it yeah um you know what's funny actually last night i was out in and i saw their little um lenny kravitz investor. He was very short. Derek made a good comment in the comments about him looking like that guy. Not Theo.

I think I've said it before who he looks like on the Cosby show. The guy that married the oldest daughter. What is his name? Eldon. Yeah. He does look like him. He's like Eldon and Lenny Kravitz. Yeah, he looks just like him.

There was actually something on Facebook today that someone posted of the Cosby family dancing. It was so cute. Oh, by the way, also speaking of random Bravo, like, ancillary sightings, I also saw last night Gigi's ex-boyfriend, the guy Sean, who had, you know, I remember she was dating that guy sean who's like this good looking like half asian guy but looked like he sort of had some plastic surgery maybe not who gg's ex-boyfriend i saw i saw him i saw him last night and he looked really good just just one that's all did you make out with him. You know, he looks very hot. You know what I did last night?

What? Ate a pizza. A whole pizza. A whole one. And I just went to Palm Springs and I was like, that's it. I'm sick of being the fat kid in the pool wearing my T-shirt and trying to hide from people. I'm going home. I'm going to eat healthy and I'm working out every day. Not because I have to, but because I want to.

And I was like, God, that sounds good. Eat sounds good eat 24 pizza oh my god i ate a pizza did you get it from was it from crispy crusts no because they were closed because i ordered it 12 30 at night which of course is the healthiest time to eat a pizza that's the best time and that one was from a new place i tried called greenwich village pizza because I love the pizza in Greenwich Village. So I got it from there. It was a lot of dough. Lots of dough, guys. No, no, no.

Wow. Meanwhile, my bad food is that I have some leftover bad food from July 4th because I may have gotten stoned. And therefore, snacks made their way into my apartment. And so I have this tub of Breyers Reese's Pieces Peanut Butter Cup Chocolate Ice Cream that is so good. Although I don't think it's ice cream, because I looked on the box just earlier today, because I'm still going

through it, and it says frozen dairy dessert. Which seems weird. And nowhere on the packaging does it say ice cream. Yeah, that's something altogether new. That's just a bunch of chemicals I've been taking in. We're finishing this podcast at Ben's house! Yeah, seriously.

Get the lid! So anyway, Marriage Medicine... Oh, so they ended up basically kicking out Mariah, right? Yeah. Even though Simone was like, I want to be friends with both of you. But it's like, who cares? This is like a feud that would started over something that we didn't see

and about something that we don't truly understand. It seems like too petty and not like relatably petty. It's one thing to see Camille Grammer and Kyle Richards have a fight because Kyle Richards said, who would you be without Kelsey? And watching that escalate. That makes sense. Somehow that's relatable. But, because it's like a misconstrued phrase. But when

it's about, like, I made you. No, you didn't make me. I made myself. It's just not relatable. And all the important things that happened in this feud happened off camera, so. Yeah. Agreed. That's stupid. I'm so glad it's over, but you know, as much as I usually hate this show, at least I really had some enjoyable episodes. I liked when they went out of town.

I really liked the addition of Heavenly. Yeah. At least Nicole they can get rid of. She's just, like, one of the worst reality stars of all time. Yeah, I like the new disease, Almost Cancer. I think that's hilarious. And I think that's it. Hopefully next season they'll be able to bring more drama and more fighting, too, please.

Like real fights. Like with fists. Yeah, real fights. Beat each other. Beat each other. Yeah, that's what this franchise should be known for. I mean, after season one, you have to follow up with season two with something like that. And get an uppity white bitch in there, too.

Oh, by the way, did you see Emily from um the new atlanta was uh made a cameo appearance at the fashion show no so oh oh yeah because she has jeans y'all she's in fact she's fashion she has jeans for cystic fibrosis y'all i wonder if that show is going to come back the new atlanta you know um i don't think it will which is too bad because i started to get really into it towards the end hated um okay why don't we move on, which is too bad because I started to get really into it towards the end. Dated. Okay, why don't we move on to Real Housewives of Orange County? Let's do it, y'all! You're twisting, twisting every little thing I say.

You're twisting it. You're twisting it, David. Thanks for making me look like a bitch, David. David, I just want to be loved. I just want to be loved. And right now, I don't feel loved, David. I don't feel loved. He's like, ugh. He's like, well, honey, I don't feel loved, David. I don't feel loved. He's like, ugh. He's like, well, honey, I can't love you because you're an annoying bitch.

No, David, but that's because we're not connected. When we're connected, I feel like I love you very much. I just want to be connected. I like when he's like, I'm sick of hearing that I don't spend any time with you. Like, I just want to kill myself because I spend so much time with you, Shannon. David. Twisting, twisting, twisting. You're twisting.

That being said, all this joking aside. So for people who may not have seen it, what happened was David and Shannon had a lunch, just the two of them in Mexico. And I actually have to say, even though we're joking and everything, I thought that that was a very riveting scene. even though we're joking and everything, I thought that that was a very riveting scene. I found that it was like two people kind of like grasping to save their marriage and trying to communicate. And you can see that they're going to make another attempt at it,

but it's getting away from them. And I thought that was actually very compelling TV. I think it's pretty... I think Shanna's pretty fascinating in general because most people go on the... Okay, most people get a ton of surgery uh star fuck their way up they'll meet gretchen at a party and just keep following her around until they find out who they need to call to get an audition on the thing you know it's like

yeah it's a lot of work to be on the d-list and i feel like shannon is one of these people who did not do that i think she was like you know what it would be awesome to be on a tv show because my husband would have to sit down and talk to me about a relationship like that's the reason she did it which is i've never seen that before and i think it's super fascinating because i can imagine that in their real life he's usually like i'm not sitting down for dinner with you you kidding all you're gonna do is nag me bye i'll be at the strip club yeah yeah i think that's actually a great that's a totally great read of the situation. I don't know. I think Shannon's fantastic.

And she's been a great addition to the season. Made this stuff all so compelling. I mean, they basically just have to get rid of, if they got rid of Lizzie, you'd have a great cast here because you do feel like they do kind of all hang out in their own weird way. And they have a very compelling social dynamic now with the way Shannon and Heather hate each other. And how Tamara's caught in the middle causing problems. And Vicky oddly is the voice of reason now. I honestly think they should get rid of Tamara.

Because I think when you go to the baby storyline, you're done. That fake baby storyline. I mean, this has been three weeks of that. I know. And now we're going through a terrible business. You're all shocked that you can't run a business. None of you run a business. You all suck. You don't even have any workout

equipment. You've rented a big room with plastic wood floors and you're having your husband teach yoga. Get the fuck out of here. It's not a class. And you know it's a bad sign for your business when Ryan, fuck-up king of the world, is also the voice of reason when he's like i don't think we should raise rates because who's going to want to pay a premium to a place

that has fucked up floors i mean he is exactly right i mean and eddie's like it's all about the sales you know eddie exposed himself right then and there as a classic like middle management uh bureaucrat asshole you know like he made a retarded mistake. And this is, I'm sorry for using the word retarded, by the way. He made a ridiculous mistake. And he... Oh, God, I have to use the word retarded later. So I'm going to reserve my apology to later.

Okay, please do that. You know, and this is, by the way, coming on the heels of him demanding that nothing be put on the shelves so it looks cleaner. I mean, the guy doesn't really know what he's doing with anything. And he has wood flooring put over a cushion, which is so beyond silly. I mean, I'm sure there's a way to have, like, wood flooring where it can absorb impact, but that's not the way to do it. And he makes this huge mistake, and then he tells Ryan that it's up to him to get the sales up like you have to just sell it more like no you made the mistake you have to fix

it yeah i mean see like all that stuff you just said like i don't care why do i want to watch a show about that yeah i don't know why i got so terrible jam it's like inside Curves. Like, I don't care. Inside Curves. I mean, Curves is it. And trust me, I know inside Curves because my mother and my sister talk about it and oh my god, there is some drama up in that place. They're like, could you believe that bitch didn't wipe down the

seat when she was done? I mean, how are you supposed to do a circuit behind someone if you have to keep wiping their seat? I feel like my wiper muscle is getting worked out. Oh, you guys are hilarious. It's like the... It's like Lucille Roberts exposed.

Totally. Totally. But anyway, so Shannon and David were trying to work out their things, and they kind of came to a I don't know what they came to but then they went to Andalas I guess that happened beforehand and they were dancing

I mean I guess the thing is this with this episode it was very front loaded all the good stuff happened in the first 20 minutes because you had everything going on with Shannon and David and then the rest of the episode was like oh no Lizzie might not get her bikinis sold at some random boutique in Orange County. Like, could the stakes be any lower?

It's like, oh no, are there going to be twicks in the vending machine today? What's going to happen? And of course... Is there going to be Diet Coke or Coke Zero? Yeah. I mean, as if if there's could be any chance this one was not gonna stock you know bikinis from someone who brought a camera into her boutique and gave her national exposure i mean yeah it was just so blah but uh heather though yeah lizzie gotta go heather gotta go But Heather, though. Yeah, Lizzie got to go. Heather got to go. Heather. Tamara got to go. I think they should keep Vicky, the other one, David.

And they should actually get all of her friends, Shannon's friends. Because, you know, she's got some friends. And they're probably all crazy. Wait. So Heather this week was really insufferable, I thought. So first she decides that she wants to get a dog. I guess this is her new storyline so she tells terry that she's like well you know how we always talked about you know getting a

rescue and things like that i just think that with my allergies and coco's allergies and so and so's allergies allergies so let's just make it so many allergies and so then terry is reads it for exactly what it is and he's like oh so this way you can have a guilt-free pedigree dog. And then she's like, so humorless. So humorless. It's like, fine. Why would you say that? Why would you say that?

It's because of the allergies. What a disgusting thing for you to say. I mean, that was really gross. She's just, I mean, she's got such a stick up her ass. The fact that she can't even, like, laugh that off, even, and be like, ha, ha, ha, ha, no. You know, she's, oh, she's so humorless. And then he tries to ease out of it. He's like, well, how about we get a rescue cat or something like that?

She's like, you can get whatever cat you want. You can fight. If you want to get a cat, get. Like, shut up. And then they go out to dinner at a restaurant. And Heather makes this whole thing like, oh, you know, like, a week we like to get together and like really connect, you know, because our lives are so busy and the kids' lives are even busier. And this way we can all get together and connect.

The kids are there for about ten minutes. The nanny comes, like, here are the keys. Get them out of here. Hell, yeah. I mean, I agree with her mothering. I never had a problem with her mothering skills. I was raised the same way, and I'm like, you go, girl. I didn't really want to sit there watching my mom get drunk on martinis either which is what

her kids would have been doing that whole time too yeah that's true um and then she did something that really pissed me off later i just don't even remember what it was oh i guess when she acted like she was gonna be taking care of the dogs no it's gonna be the nanny all over i just i mean honest you know it's it's sometimes it's hard doing this podcast every week because I just want to be like, no, I'm not talking about Heather. No. Yeah. The end. I hate her.

I hope she gets run over by something. Bye. Hate her. I'm a working mother. You know it's so hard being a working mother and going to the thing and doing this. It's like you're not a working mother, bitch. You've had two lines in TV in like two years. You're not working, okay?

If anything, you're managing a humongous staff. Like, you're working as much as like a manager at Little Caesars. Yeah. Which I guess is work. But that's your own doing. I know. I hope her kids are not as obnoxious as she is because they're all very cute. And it'd be a shame if they had terrible personalities.

No. I think her kids are going to be fine you know who i'm not worried for heather's fucking kids okay those little brats have like zillions of dollars if they're horrible people they can go hide in their fabulous neighborhoods i'm not feeling bad about it in their fabulous neighborhoods yeah bye have fun in Key West. Bye. Whatever. I'm never going to see them. I love of all the neighborhoods that you could have used as an example Key West. That's not even what I meant.

I meant somewhere. What neighborhood are they moving to in Orange County? Have fun in WeHo. Yeah. Have fun in Sherman Oaks, kids, and your mansion. Have fun at that dueling piano bar. Oh, my God. Have fun at Howl at the Moon.

And Universal CityWalk. Have fun with that, kids. So, let's see. Did anything else happen in Orange County aside from David? David. Oh, David. You twist it. You twist it.

Well, next week is the dinner where she loses it at Heather and starts screaming. And then she's like, she keeps saying I'm screaming at her and I'm not. Yeah, you actually are now. Oh, my God. I love what sets her off. Because, you know, the thing is, the things that set her off, it's like I get it, actually. I get it. And I love how she just gets so full up of frustration

where she doesn't know whether to scream or to cry or kind of do both. It's like, I've been there. Yeah. David, David, David! David, I don't feel alive right now. What am I supposed to do? And I also love how when she gets really, like,

you know, when she starts talking about David and she starts to get, like, emotional about it in the confessional, she starts to, like, teeter over, like Tower of Pisa. She's, like, leaning Tower of Pisa. She sort of starts, and her eyes get, like, she flares her eyes and she tilts over. She's like, I don't know. What am I supposed to do?

I mean, what do I do? I don't know. What do I do? What do I do? They're actually, I'm really enjoying the fact that they're friends with Vicky and Brooks because they're actually perfect to be friends with in this situation. They don't care. Like Vicky's already been through it. Brooks has like 20 children scattered across the world.

It's like these two have already been through all the fighting. So they're just kind of like, get over it. Like, let's just get wasted. No more. Like, what are we doing?

We're in Mexico. You know, no one can get us for child support here. Okay. So let's just fuck wasted like what are we doing we're in mexico you know no one can get us for child support here okay so let's just fuck and forget about it but then when brooks starts in on his victim shit he's like well you know tamra the way that tamra spoke to me i can never forget it it's like brooks let's let's not forget like why everyone, okay? I love that he's all innocent now. He's like, well, you know, all I've ever tried to do is love Vicky. Because Vicky's like a train on a track.

A track that's real strong. That train's going fast. There's lots of smoke coming out of it. And you know it's working hard. I want a ticket on that train. That's the train I want to ride on. Like, shut up. Pay for your children.

Stop getting on trains. Yeah, stop leaving voicemails for your girlfriend's daughter being like, fuck you, or you should die, or whatever it was that he said. No, he was talking to Ryan, and Ryan was talking about how he got in a fight with Brianna

or something, and Brooks is like, beat her! Yeah, beat her! her is how we do it I'm truly sorry I'm truly sorry I did not mean any of that it was just what Tamara had said to me say these things to you

sorry so alright you want to move on to ladies of London I would just like to take this time to thank our sponsor, Bueller. Bueller has been sitting at my feet giving me little licks for the past hour. So I'd like to thank Bueller for everything you do for us. Any other sponsors, please just contact us. Thanks.

I have no one or nothing licking my feet at the moment, but next week I'll try to fix that. Yeah, and Bueller was an adoption. A rescue. Anybody who's allergic, I'm sorry. Okay, so Ladies of London. Oh, manners! Oh, you're so rude! Oh, manners! She's so rude!

Everybody's so rude! Manners, manners! Fake accents, manners! Okay, I started to laugh out loud when Annabelle like got on her horse she literally was like Alexander would have loved to seen me race

oh my god you know what Alexander wouldn't have he wouldn't have he would have been like bitch go outside and she'd be like I'm on a horse Alexander someone please drop that fucking horse she's like, the pelvis was Alexander's favorite

bone, so to have broken it is really very heartbreaking for me. No one could take a good riding like Alexander. He was passed around like a canapé. A pair of canapés in his day. He used

to come to me and tell me, Annabelle, my bum hurts. And I would say, oh, Alexander, mine does too because of horse riding. And he'd say, me too. And we'd both say, hee hee hee hee hee hee hee. We're so punk. Alexander loved being thrown from horses. So when I was thrown from the horse, I kind of felt like I had Alex right here with me. Oh, shut up, lady.

Oh, my God. She was so ridiculous. I remember when Alexander fell down, and I took care of him for weeks in his bed, and now there's no one to take care of me. I remember when Alexander died, there were four ambulances there as well. So when the four arrived for me, I couldn't help but relish the irony. I was his ambulance muse.

His am-muse-lance. If Alexander was alive today, he would make an entire season for crippled people. He would have made... I am his muse and I cannot walk. He would have made... He would have broken down all the barriers and I cannot walk. He would have made... He would have broken down all the barriers and hospital gowns.

Anything you wore would look wonderful with crutches if Alexander was here today. I cannot sit up. I cannot sit down. I cannot lean forward. I can't do anything. Alexander would have loved it. Alexander would have made a whole line for floating heads um yeah she's obnoxious i was so glad she got thrown from a horse i know that's horrible to say but she didn't get superman okay she's still okay and she's dumb and i'm sick of her and i'm

glad that the only person who took care of her was stupid lady sandwich who's like no one else could even be bothered suffering from many bad hair days this episode she came in looking like she's just been rolling around in hay and she's like oh my god you let it out baby let it out like let out the tears you have to let it out you're not gonna heal unless you let it out baby if you hold it in it fucks up your teeth that's one one thing the British people don't understand yet. I'm trying to impart this upon you as an American. Hold in your emotions, your teeth will grind, and it'll fuck

them all up. Just be an American and cry, honey. Cry! Cry, cry, honey. Just, you gotta let it out, honey. Meanwhile, um, Cappers continues to stir up shit because now she's asked Marissa to, um, host the famous baby shower shit because now she's asked Marissa to host the famous baby shower. God, she's so

fucking rude. I mean, okay, look, I hate that everybody talks about manners, but that is really rude. Caprice, like, she went to one lady and asked for a baby shower, which is already rude, okay? Now you're going to somebody else and asking for a damn baby shower? Stop! You don't do that!

Yeah. Although I did think it was funny when caroline was like well it's just the rudest thing i've ever experienced in my entire life i was like well that's a lucky life i know seriously wow but but i've never been to a whole foods like but caprice is a piece of work i mean she really she's so awful and the way she talks about like how she's a mentor to to noelle noelle's like i really need to learn how to get better press about score i need to learn how to score i need to know how to deal with score score score score i'm really glad we finally moved in. Scott! Scott! Can we finally move into the place yet, Scott? I love that her terrible fake accent is like Eliza Doolittle from My Fair Lady before she found someone to help her learn how to be classy. It's like, why would you choose to be the Cockney girl

instead of the one in the nice dress at the dance? Well, that's a question for Scott! I'm sick and tired of waiting for this move to happen school and i love she's finally she's like oh scott and i've been through so much together that you know we'll fight but then we'll make up i'm like yeah you made up because you moved into a twenty thousand dollar a month apartment you you skank. It's not like he... Excuse me. It's not an apartment. It's a flat.

Flat. Skol. I like this flat very much. He's like, I had it cleaned for you, darling. And she's like, guys, the last dollar smells like stinky... Workahs. Workahs. Yeah, who do you think you are, Nimel?

You're a worker. You're a sex worker. You're a worker. You're a reality star. The only difference between you and them is the ability to swallow an apple whole. Okay, bitch? Skor, did you hear what he just said about me?

Skor! Skor! Skor! I have to throw a baby shower. Skor! Skor! Skor! Skor! What do you think we should buy for this? Bye-bye shower! I have to throw a baby shower Scott Scott What do you think we should buy for this Bye bye shower So the other fun thing this week was

So the other fun thing this week The spike Scott Scott did you hear what else was fun this week The Americans actually got in a fight which was hilarious because Marissa is trying to be nice and Juliet is being a bitch

and then Juliet's like why are you always nice I mean god you're so perfect you have everything you have a husband that loves you you have kids that love you you're so nice you're always trying to You have a husband that loves you. You have kids that love you. You're so nice. You're always trying to be nice to everybody.

Gross, I want to fart. And then Marissa's like, I'm sorry. I'm so nice. Like, God, that was really mean. Like, when you say I'm Mother Teresa, that's like a judgment. That's like, you know, that hurts. It hurts, you know? Who gets offended at being called Mother Teresa?

She's like, I guess I'm just overly empathetic. I love, by the way, this was all happening. They kept on getting up from the table. It was like a farce. One would get up, one would come back,

one would get up, one would come back. And then Juliette started to cry. She's like, well, I don't like what she's saying. I don't like that

she's accusing me of being mean to her when I was just saying that she's too nice. Then she starts crying. And Caroline's like, and all this before the scones have been

served at breakfast. I was like, yes. Carolyn's like, they're absolutely hysterical, these women. It's like three trumps getting their knickers in a wad. I can't believe you called me Mother Teresa. Could you imagine if that was Mother Teresa's life? Just shopping all the time and having inappropriate parties.

Imagine if Mother Teresa at the end of the night just cried into her pillow. Everyone thinks I'm so nice. It's like Mother Teresa having really inappropriate parties. Like that 4th of July for a country that you beat. Mother Teresa would be like, Alright, starving African children, come over for a potluck. Like the worst party planner ever, stupid Marissa.

But now she's British. Yeah, now she's British. You can have her, bye. I like her. I like Marissa. Alright, you better promise to obey the queen. That queen? I'm not obeying that queen. She's like 90 years old. And you know who didn't obey that queen?

Diana. I'll obey Diana. Well, you know who I obeyed? McQueen, as in Alexander. His favorite thing was when I would obey him. Alexander. He once wanted me to become American, so I became American just for him, and then I became British again

just to be his muse. And then his line that year was taking off your knickers and wearing miniskirts instead. I'm his muse. And then his line that year was taking off your knickers and wearing miniskirts instead. I'm his muse! Score! Score! Score! I want to be someone's muse! Score!

On this damn show. So Marissa, okay, Marissa and Juliet kind of made up and stuff, but then Marissa showed a hint of her bitchy side, because everyone has one, let's face it. When she was like, you know, I consider Juliet a really good friend, but now I'm seeing a different side to her, and she better be careful. She's like, oh, someone's not going to get into your husband's fucking fancy restaurants anymore. I'm like, oh, she better be careful. She's only going to get two servings of croissants instead of one and a half.

That doesn't make any sense. I was trying to love you. I'm British now, so I'm on the other side. She better be very careful because I'm going to give her a big smile when I see her instead of a super big smile. I'm only going to talk sideways out of my mouth half the time.

I'm going to only give her a hug for five seconds instead of six seconds. She better be careful. What else happened on this? Because I want to move on because I would like to go jogging because that pizza hurts. It hurts. I feel it like

a big stone. I think there may have been some other things that happened, but you know what? If we don't get to it, people, please go to our Facebook page, facebook.com forward slash watch what crap happens, because we actually got a lot of comments about this show, Ladies of London, this week. When you wrote that we're watching OC and Ladies of London, I feel like most of the comments are about London. I love reading those damn comments.

Yeah. We probably should have read those comments before we started talking about this segment, but that's okay. We will move on to New York. By the way, you guys have to come on here and look at the comments section from today. About to record. What do you guys want to talk about today?

Madonna Hines posted a picture of Lisa Rinna, but her whole face is her lips. Oh, that was very creepy. I had to look away. That is so gross. No offense, Madonna, but I was like... Matt Whitfield leaving comments on here today. What did he say? Goddess Luanne calling Ramona a cow. That was

the best moment. Jacques on a rock. Oh my god. And Kristen spending divorce. Okay, so that's a good segue in, right? Do you have anything else of London? Even if I do have any, we have to move on. Okay. Yeah, so Matt Whitfield. Good point, darling.

Goddess Luann calling Ramona a cow was the best fucking part. Like, a cow. A cow. Ramona got a song. I don't know who wrote it. I think her gay husband wrote it. Heiferless. Heiferless. And it was for Mario to sing to ramona at some open mic night that was just so weird while he's you know men are such pigs he's

banging that girl right now while he's singing the song yeah this is a yay um and and uh well struggling so hard to make her marriage look perfect is just my favorite thing of the season. Knowing that she's being cheated on the whole time. She's like, isn't he sexy? My man sings songs and he gets on a piano and he sings. That's so sexy when your man can do that. I bet Heather's husband can't do that. He's so boring. That guy has no personality.

He's very boring. He doesn't have much personality. He doesn't have any personality. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. He has no personality. Mario has lots of personality, okay? And you know what?

He's a better singer than Luan. I don't want to be mean, but he just is. I'm sorry. Luan has that auto-tune and everything. But you know what? Mario, he's a very good singer. He likes to sing. That's one thing he likes to do.

But you know what? My mother always said, you never want to rely on a man to sing for you because you don't know when that man's going to leave. So I have started to sing myself. One time in church, the priest told us to stand up. So we all stood up and then we were supposed to sing something. And my dad opened the choir book, but he didn't sing. And so now I find it so sexy when men don't sing because my father didn't sing. One time in that same church service, my father was supposed to sing a song, okay? And instead of singing a song, Geraldine Parson Smith sang instead. And I got very upset because I wanted to hear my father.

So to this day, I do not like it when a woman sings a song. Sorry. Sorry. Wachi, so he sang. I mean, that was fine, I guess. But I love that Sonia's boyfriend, what's his name again? Harry Dubin. He was eating chicken wings. He was just, like, shoving I love that Sonia's boyfriend, what's his name again? Harry Dubin. He was eating chicken wings.

He was just like shoving a chicken wing in his mouth. That was hilarious. I mean, you could tell he's just like a pig. He's a total pig. He had a date with Sonia later, and Sonia's like, oh, it's so sweet. Hey, you didn't bring any other dates on our date. And he's like, oh, they're waiting back at the hotel. Yeah, I mean, anyone who's going to marry a Viva Drescher, I mean, no offense, Reed, but seriously.

You have to rush their cousin. And then Heather also saying, and of course, she had to like drop the G's off of everything and sing Bill Bailey. Oh, shut up. She's like, I ain't singing. Yeah, she's like, I'm singing a big giant black lady song. Like, oh, shut up, Heather. She did a good job. I. She did a good job. I think she did a good job.

Oh, my God. She sounded terrible. She sounded like, okay, have you seen that? Have you seen that video going around of that beauty queen, like that cracker white beauty queen singing Dream Girls? Okay, that's what this was like to me. It was like some white girl in a ball gown singing, I'm telling you i'm not

going from dream girls like bitch jennifer hudson could snap your head off with her fucking teeth okay i i i thought heather was good i think for a non-professional i thought heather got up there the funny thing the funny thing was the way she was acting like what me sing i wasn't prepared to sing i'm not gonna sing and then she busts out an entire song knowing all the lyrics i was like no um let's talk about like the real um the real drama of the episode which was kristin and josh so another one of those moments where i would just normally say i don't care talk about anything else but that fucking nagging when well so they're both awful, okay? Because he is really an asshole to her, for sure. And she is such a whiner. I mean, she really, she is right in what she says to a certain extent. But that's not how you're going to get him to change.

You can't just, like, whine and nag at him. I was like, this is like Shannon. And then never stop. Yeah. She's like, why didn't you text me? And he's like, because I was on a conference call. But you could have texted me. But I'm on a really important call. It's a busy day. But you could have texted me. But I'm on a really important call.

It's a busy day. But you should have texted me. I'm sitting here. You could have texted me. I'm opening a bag of lettuce. You should have texted me. You should have texted me. And you're like, goddammit, I'm on a call.

Jesus fucking Christ, shut up. And she's like, I can't believe he yelled at me. Oh, stop. Are you serious right now? Oh, my god. Are we serious right now? Are you yelling? Oh, my god.

Oh, my god. Oh, my god. But I wrote it down, homie. Lady, he has a startup okay and guess what he was home at 6 45 p.m and he has a startup that's you should be like on your knees thanking him for being home that early because you know what no one in new york city is home before 7 p.m whether or not they especially people who have their own businesses. I love that it opened with her having a dinner with Heather and her husband, and she's telling

Josh, like, well, I'm still not over it, because I don't appreciate the way Heather treated me, and blah, blah, blah. And Josh is like, whatever, Heather's right. And she's like, would you just be on my side? Which is what she said. I think she said it 20 times. Can't you guys just be on my side? Can't you just be on my side? There't you just be on my side?

There's a reason no one's on your side, bitch. Because you're wrong constantly. I don't think she's always wrong constantly. But I think when she whines, no one takes her side seriously. It makes her wrong. It makes her wrong. And then Heather came in and sat down with her husband. She was like, before we even get started,

honey, tell him what we talked about. And he's like, it's okay if Heather's boss. heather's boss like okay way to prove you're not bossy by giving your husband permission to say what you told him to say yeah in the cab on the way here yeah exactly no um i don't know i mean i i i feel like that's my side oh i i do feel like there are times when Kristen is totally valid in how she's feeling. Like, you know, because I do think that Josh is an asshole. He really is an asshole. At the end of the day, he's truly an asshole. And so I understand her frustration with him.

But that being said, she's got to, like, learn how to, like, deal with people. I mean, you just can't whine and berate over and over and over again it's like you gotta like pick your pick your moment and you gotta pick your tone and then people will take you seriously but instead she just like she just whines and whines and whines then after it's over she whines some more oh kristen too much and you know i love that she's like oh well he said if i made dinner then he'd be home on time. So I'm going to make dinner. No, you can't cook. You don't even know how to open the fucking salad.

Also, you're holding a pre-washed salad. And you're like, how do I wash this? Like, you obviously don't know what you're doing. No man wants to come home to shitty food. Nobody wants to come home to shitty food. Okay? That's making it worse. You know, you want him to come home

be nice don't nag him say how was work thanks for everything you do blow him go to bed just or you just or you know what you do if he doesn't show up then you just eat the food and then you leave a plate out for him and you sit in the bedroom and read a book. Or you plot your revenge like you're in a late 90s black drama. Like you're Lin Woodfield and it's a thin line between love and hate. That's how you do it. Oh my god. God help her.

Well, anything would be more entertaining. Light his car on fire, like waiting to exhale. Just do something like that. Yeah, brick his windshield. Like, girl, you gotta get some pointers on how to make him listen up. Yeah, she's obnoxious. I'm kind of having trouble with her.

Okay, so let's move on and talk about the best thing in the show. And that was... Aviva's... That was hilarious. Sonia has Aviva over, and she's like, oh, the triple. Oh, wait.

First, we have to talk about Sonia interviewing her new intern because this is where I'm reserving my right to say retarded. Yeah. What is wrong with that girl? That girl she's interviewing is like, yeah, it sounds really hard, but I think I'm up for it. Gross. What is Pickles going to say about this hunchback? Yeah, it sounds really hard, but I think I'm up for it. Yeah. Oh, gross. What is Pickles going to say about this hunchback? Get rid of her. Girls useless.

What's her name going to be? If we got Pickles, this one's going to be like Kaiser Roll or something. I don't know. This one's going to be called Bell Tower. Oh, Igor. No. That was mean. She's actually really cute i was just laughing uh like physically she's really cute i was just laughing at the way she's just like and then when people call me to go uh do my shows in vegas whatever she

bullshit she was talking about the girl's like sounds hard she's like you know what i'm doing my cabaret you know in san tro Tropez, they love me over there. I've got five princes from Saudi Arabia who are like, let's go to San Tropez and I'll do my cabaret. They love me. I just love that Sonia actually gives college credits for being her intern. I don't understand how that works. So good. So good.

Okay. So then she had Aviva over and basically just told Aviva everything that was happening. The girls were making fun of her and Aviva was like, they were talking about me the whole time? Did they miss me? Were they talking about how much they missed me? Oh, Aviva. Oh, gosh. Sonia then takes

whatever everyone was saying and she tells it to Aviva, but she also makes it sound ten times worse than what they were saying. She's like, oh, yeah. They don't think you're sick. They thought you made it up. it to Aviva, but she also makes it sound ten times worse than what they were saying. She's like, oh yeah, they don't think you're sick. They thought you made it up. They thought that you actually fabricated the note. They think that you're stupid.

They think you're an awful person. They think that you murdered someone. You know? And it's just like, what? Yeah, yeah. Which is interesting. And she also said Ramona was the one who started it, which is really interesting. I'm not sure what she's going for there with the whole getting on

Ramona's bad side thing. I mean, I know that Ramona's been a little annoying to her, but it doesn't seem like the wisest move, because Ramona's like a dog with a bone. Yeah. I wouldn't mess with that, but the best part is that Aliva's like, well, you think I

carry around this inhaler for fun, and then she pulls out something the size of a canteen and sucks from it she's like i just made a little giphy gif of that that i'm gonna post for this podcast because that shit is hilarious just watching her suck that thing over and over again she's like my lung capacity was at 50 like well did you go anywhere she's like well i went to the hamptons but my doctor was there in case anything would happen. It's like, lady, you're not like five days away from needing a liver transplant here, okay? This is like, it's asthma. It's a serious thing for sure. But it's also not the sort of thing that will prevent you from going to Montana or anywhere else.

Or that you need to have a doctor on call. A specific doctor. It's like, go get thee to a pharmacy and get an inhaler and you're done. What did you... Wait, hold on. Wait, wait, wait. Is there anything else on this show? Do you want to talk about Big Brother

for a second? You know I love talking about Big Brother. Alright, let's just do a couple minutes on old Big Brother. What do you think? Because so far... Look, I'm not picky with Big Brother. I love talking about Big Brother. All right, let's just do a couple minutes on old Big Brother. What do you think? Because so far, and look, I'm not picky with Big Brother. I love every season of Big Brother. Yeah, me too. But so far, I'm not really sure.

Like, it was a busy week because I had to pick up a lot of, like, I did two recaps and a video this week, which was maybe just a bit much. So you're saying, you're giving this season an eh? Is that that what i'm hearing correctly i just want to make sure so far i'm giving it a humongous okay guess what ronnie you better start eating again because you are crazy you are absolutely hell yes it is good it is really good and on top of that i mean i know you don't watch the updates maybe that's why i don't like it. But not even that. I'm down with it. I'm down with the shows on CBS. But if you knew what was going on in the house right now, oh my god. I cannot wait

for tonight's episode. I cannot, cannot, cannot, cannot wait. And I cannot wait for tomorrow's episode. Because, oh my god. Everything's upside down. You've made me excited about it again. But you should have been excited all along. It's a great cast. There's even a gay showmance. That... Okay. It's a gay showmance that okay it's a gay yeah i'm not sure about that not i don't know i'm just like i'm getting a bad feeling about it but if a lot happened then i'm excited because so far nothing exciting's happened like last year yes it ended up being a lot of racist bullshit by the end of the year i think

i think it's so much was happening i mean at the very beginning it was like here's this alliance but then all the douchebags started getting turned against and it was good and this year so far hasn't been that it's been really to me really boring um i think you'll probably change your mind after tonight's episode okay good good thank god because i'm stuck with this show all summer. I love the show. I mean, I'm not going to spoil anything, but needless to say, I went on to Joker's Updates, which is the site that I go to for the updates. I went on on Monday, and I was shocked to see what had transpired. I was like, what? And then I emailed a friend, like, what's going on?

Like, this is crazy. And he's like, what? And then I emailed a friend like, what's going on? Like, this is crazy. And he's like, I know. And then I spent like half an hour last night reading the feeds. And I spent another like half an hour this morning and then another half an hour later. It's like, it's not like there's been like fighting, like screaming and things like that. But there's been like shit going on in the house. It's great. I think Devin is a hilarious villain.

He's such an oafish bro um and so stupid and he's like emotional too which is great because i love how he says he calls a house meeting and he says oh he's like bros yo yo i came in here to play a game a certain way and play with integrity and yo bro from here on out like i'm just gonna it's i'm playing with integrity uh that's what that's what i'm saying well we'll see how much integrity he has after tonight's episode oh my god it's stupid integrity like telling everybody uh see i don't even yeah meanwhile britney all right let's talk about it again next week wait meanwhile he'll be more excited but he puts meanwhile he puts britney up okay? Because, you know, he says, oh, yeah, you know, like, I was the one who twisted Caleb's arm and made him put up Donnie because I didn't trust Donnie. And I shouldn't have done that because Donnie's a great guy.

So then afterwards, Brittany's like, oh, well, you had said that you had put up Donnie went up because he's one of the first two people to fall off. So I guess you guys were lying. And he's like, what? I just poured out my soul, and she's going to, like, take it, like, take it, like, you know, just, like, throw it back at me? Like, that's not cool. She's going to question my integrity. It's like, well, actually, you were the one who lied,

and she was the one who's pointing out that you lied. And so it's not her who had the lack of integrity. It's you who had the lack of integrity. Oh, he's so stupid. God, he's so stupid. God, he's so stupid. The best part was when Caleb was like, yo, man, you know, you know what I really need? I just miss being loved. I need to be cuddled.

I need to just be cuddled and watch a movie with somebody. And he's like, I'll cuddle you, bro. Yeah. I'll cuddle with you. And he's like, oh, thanks, man. God, what is going on? Oh, my God. I love the way Caleb is like obsessed with amber he's like i think we would i think we'd make a lovely couple it's like dude you have to have some

sort of game you can't just like go up and be like i think you and i like we should be together like it should be like just like you know flirt with her and make some moves or something yeah whatever he uh he's like he cries at the drop of a hat. Almost makes you forget the fact that he wrote, like, racist, homophobic, awful things about other people and our president on Instagram. Yeah. You know, that's, like, I hate having an excuse for it. There is no excuse for it, and I would never want to hang out

with that guy but it's such a regional thing. I feel like people are just like believing wherever they live they just kind of believe what everybody else believes. I mean really if you've ever waited a table you really see how stupid and like hive mind people

are. Every other table it's like the Republicans are all repeating straw man oh that's a straw man argument oh well that's coming from a low information voter and then the democrats are like oh no so everybody just repeats the same shit i think he's probably just repeating the same shit he heard when he grew up give him a couple years here i'm sure he'd be plenty loose yeah i think he's loosening up as it is yeah he needs a couple years here. I'm sure he'd be plenty loose. Yeah. I think he's loosening up as it is. Yeah. He needs a couple years in our waters. He'll be just fine. There will be no more Instagrams

of that. That'll all be Instagram selfies where you can see the outline of his penis through those really thin gym shorts. Yay! Move here! Move here! Okay, question. This is a question for you. I'm not saying who won the veto or what happened.

Oh my God, please don't tell me. I'm not going to. But what I would like to know from you, this is a theoretical question. If someone were to come off the block, who do you think would go up instead? Oh God. I don't know. I don't really know any of their names yet. I'm going to guess it'll probably be like Donnie again.

I guess. No, no. I'm just interested. I mean, usually they seem to kind of repeat the same shit over and over. Like this week they put Pow Pow up again. Yeah, exactly. Because she's stupid. Like it seems like at first they just keep putting the same weak people up.

And how stupid is she for throwing that competition? I don't think she did. She said she did, but even when she was trying to win, she couldn't win it. I mean, that's one of those things. Like when you're that stupid, of course you're going to say, yeah, I'll throw the competition because you can't answer anything anyway. I was hoping that Pow Pow would be a surprisingly sneaky and smart player, but I'm realizing

she's just useless. She's so stupid and I feel so bad for her because she's not like... She doesn't know how to swing. She's kind of like cross-eyed stripper hot. She's not really real hot and I just feel bad for her because you can't be that stupid and just be semi-hot.

You can't just work out and be stupid. You have her. You can't be that stupid and just be semi-hot. You can't just work out and be stupid. You have to really be hot to be that stupid. And you're just not. You better read some shit, girl. I agree. I hope you enjoy watching tonight's episode. I cannot wait because tomorrow is another video day and no matter

what happens, I love making those videos. So go watch them on the YouTube. and i might do a photo cap depending on how much time i have so you can come to b-side blog.com to check that out you go to ronny's side trash talk tv.com to check out his videos um you should like this podcast facebook page which is facebook.com watch what crappens our numbers numbers are going up. I'm so happy to see that we are up to 2581 likes. It's going up higher and higher and higher. And I'm at bsideblog on Twitter and Instagram, Vine, Pinterest, wherever.

Ronnie is either Ronnie Karam or Trash Talk TV or Trash Tweet TV, depending on the platform. So just give it a try. Try to mix and match, however you want to do it. Yeah, Ron and Karen, I'm fine. Ron and Karen, I'm on Twitter. Trash Tweet TV on Twitter. Trash Talk TV recaps at tumblr.com

and youtube.com slash trash talk TV, T-E-E-V-E. Yeah, and subscribe to us on iTunes and on SoundCloud. And really, I think there's just nothing more. Thanks to some of our new likers. Carrie Billingsley, Kara Wright-Ridenour, Justin Wang. Hi, Justin. I know Justin.

Nadine Williams, Larissa Carrera, Colleen Gard, or Gargi, C.P. Renegar, whatever. Anyway, thanks everyone for listening. Thank you, Ronnie,, whatever. Anyway, thanks, everyone, for listening. Thank you, Ronnie, so much. I hope you have a wonderful jog now. Ben, it was so lovely spending time with you today. Oh, the pleasure was all mine. Okay, me too. I did it for Alexander.

And for Scott. Scott. Scott. I want you to listen to the podcast. All right, well, you go off and have a great day. Thank you. You too. Bye, everyone to listen to podcasts. All right. Well, you go off and have a great day. Thank you. You too. Bye, everyone.

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