Watch What Crappens - #140: Ghetto Superstars

Episode Date: August 13, 2014

Ronnie Karam (TrashTalkTV) and Ben Mandelker (bsideblog) are here to talk crap about the final RHONY Reunion, the brawl repercussions on RHONJ, the Tamra confrontation on RHOC and the idiotic wedding/cancer walk drama on Game of Cows. Join us! Ronnie on the Web: http://www.trashtalktv.com Ronnie on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/trashtalkteevee Ronnie on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/trashtalktv Ronnie on Tumblr: http://trashtalktvrecaps.tumblr.com/ Ben on the Web: http://www.bsideblog.com Ben on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/bsideblog Ben on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/bsideblog Our Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/watch-what-crappens On iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/watch-what-crappens/id498130432?mt=2 Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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and you get a new or transfer.com for the low price of $2.95. Hey, everybody. Welcome to Watch What Crappens, the podcast about all the crap we love to talk about on Bravo. I'm Ronnie Karam from Trash Talk TV, and I'm joined by the ever-lovely, ever-muscular, ever-thin, and ever-partnered-up Ben Mandelker. Hello, Ben. Almost all of those were lies but thank you no they're not and you also have to be brag about being partnered up because we're talking about housewives and that's all they care about you have a man congratulations you thank you can exist now i know i am so much better than everyone else now you deserve to live now bad like i feel bad for single people now

i know me too don't their hands get cramped um you can find me ronnie carom at ronnie carom on twitter or on instagram um you can also find trash talk tv.com uh on the internet that's where lots of funny recaps are there's about like 30 between 30 and 40 uh comedy writers at one time writing recaps they're very funny i'm also doing big brother in two minutes videos all summer long they come out on fridays you can find those on my youtube page at uh youtube.com slash trash talk t-e-e-v-e-e you can find ben at his blog, bsideblog.com, or on all of the social media outlets at bsideblog. Those include Twitter, Instagram, Vine, Snapchat, Grindr, Scruff, etc. Oh, well, not those because he's partnered up now. He put a pause on those accounts.

I have put a pause. You do have a Pinterest? I do. accounts i have put a pause you do have a pinterest i do i mean i don't i i really don't do it like um i don't do it to like get followers that's one social media that's one social network where i'm like i don't care about followers or not i do it just to keep track of articles that i want to remember so if i come across a list of like top 10 late night restaurants in la i'll pin it so that way when i'm like, what were those late night restaurants I like? I can go back to it.

I'm not someone who just goes and browses through Pinterest and is like, oh, there's a doily I like. Pin, pin, pin, pin. There's a positive saying I like pinned by a mom in Milwaukee with 18 children and a smile on her face. You know what I really hate? I hate positive sayings. I'm not even joking. I hate being on Instagram and someone puts up a saying instead of a picture. I'm like, it's a photo. It's a photo app. If I want to read your sayings, I'd go on to Twitter. Oh, hang on. What is it? Hang in there, Ben. Well, I mean, like every,

you know, here's the thing. I've complained about this before. I'm slightly being tangential. I follow a lot of like personal trainers and stuff because they're attractive. But personal trainers also think that they're motivational speakers a lot of times and they fill half their feed with these stupid phrases like don't just sit on a chair sit on a bench press or something like that and you're like fuck you if you were smart you wouldn't have to work out that much please just be quiet and flex your pecs thank you thank you very much uh so we have got a fun week this week a lot of housewives stuff sorry i didn't watch below deck sorry i'm already drawing a line and i haven't even seen it yet so

you guys come on our facebook page which is watch what facebook.com slash watch what crap ends or at what crap ends on twitter to tell us what you think about the first episode of below deck because i did not watch sorry yeah but i did watch the real housewives of melbourne did not watch. Sorry. Yeah. But I did watch The Real Housewives of Melbourne. Did you watch that? I didn't have time to. I didn't have time. Ben! I know.

There's only so much time in the weekend for me to watch all these shows. Ben, what kind of man does that? I can't do their accent. That's Scottish. I wish I could do their accent. I have to get a running start to get into my australian accent it's really hard yeah it's like the real housewives of no no i don't have it yet real housewives of melbourne melbourne melbourne real housewives of melbourne my husband of course she hates me she of course she hates me i'm gorgeous i'm beautiful i'm rich i'm married to a rock star i'm a ballester

i don't have those things from the wife of silver'm rich. I'm married to a rock star. I'm a ballester. I don't have to listen to things from the wife of a silver chair. Oh, that one talked like this. I'm a ballester. I'm a ballester. I'm the best drug queen. Okay, Ben, this housewives has a psychic who's as insane as Alison Dubois.

She's as insane and seaworthy as Alison Dubois. Yeah. There's a girl who's most likely fucking her stepson and is not even ashamed of it. Which one is that? Because I saw the first episode. That's the one who only talks about

how much money she has. She's like, oh, look at all my money. Like, that's all she talks about. Which one is... Which one is... Oh, is she the one who... Well, they all talk about money,

but this is all this bitch talks about. She's like, oh, why would I use a toilet seat if I could just buy a new golden toilet every second of the day? Is she the one who is married to the architect? She is married to... God, I don't know. Or the plastic surgeon. I don't even know their names yet. It's going to take me a minute.

Yeah. To get... I like the blonde one who lives in a hotel you know she looks like kind of like scary at first but then oh the older one yeah i like her the most oh i like her too yeah because she's like 70 and she's like i'm starting over i'm like yeah you are i don't even know how to have take a. I have to go to the salon, and I have to get my hair done there. I get my hair done 20 times a week at the salon. I go there every day. Every day that I need to clean my hair, I just go to the salon.

Yeah, I like her. She's like, both my husbands didn't work out, so I'm trying over again. And she's like the most useful out of all of them, and she's like 100. I like her, too. Yeah, she's my favorite. The psychic is the one that I like the most useful out of all of them and she's like a hundred I like her too Yeah, she's my favorite. The psychic is the one that hit the most psychic is awful and wonderful because she's great She's she's crazy. My favorite is that barrister. I like that. She talks like Really low she doesn't give a fuck. She's not afraid of anybody. Well, I deal in facts. That's what I do I didn't think I don't fuck I do in facts

I deal in facts. That's what I do. I deal in facts. I deal in facts. Yeah, I really like that. Your deck of cards. Your deck of cards. And I know you're at the... And you know what?

I'm going to shuffle your deck of cards. Yeah. That show's amazing. So whoever's not watching it, we will start talking about that, damn it, if it's the end of me. Yeah, well, now that New York is wrapping up, we can now move... Add some more shows in. That one's brilliant.

But before we start talking about all of the Housewives, which is pretty much all we got this week, by the way, except for Game of Crowns, which might as well be Housewives. We need to talk about some gossip this week because we have been skipping our gossip section. And there's just so much lovely, horrible things happening to Housewives this week that we need to talk about. Oh, please fill me in because I'm actually. Well, Ramona finally left Mario. I don't know if we discussed that one that's a big one which is fun i can't wait to see that on yeah on the show um atlanta adds new girls who cares they're both gorgeous yeah two new girls two that's a that's a big cast why do they have two new girls they didn't fire anybody else yet right That's so strange. They're both effing gorgeous.

So Kenya is going to be freaking out all over the place, which I'm excited. Oh, and I just looked on our Facebook page, facebook.com, watch what crap ends. I just read a very sad piece of information, piece of gossip, that Josh Flagg just posted that Grandma Edith has passed away. Oh, that's so sad. That's sad. That's really sad, actually. Oh, she was hot. Yeah, she was hot.

Actually, hot Atlanta ladies. What else? Danielle Staub contemplated suicide after Real Housewives of New Jersey. Look, I'm contemplating suicide still reading about Danielle Staub. I know. Jesus. I contemplated suicide the moment Danielle Sta sob opened her legs at the pole dancing demo you know that's like the worst thing about a celebrity dying because this week of course

robin williams died which is so sad yeah but you know facebook like people on facebook i get it like writing like rob robin williams died that's sad okay that's one thing but writing an entire blog post about how you feel about how robin it's like shut up no one fucking cares okay everyone's like here's a blog post about how i feel about robin one time i was watching robin williams when i was pregnant with my first child i'm like shut up this is not about you okay and that's daniel stop like the second he dies she starts calling around anybody who will answer the phone and go i contemplated suicide once like. Like, shut up. You know what? Robin Williams wasn't horrible on a reality show and then went to strip while his children are still alive, you dumb whore.

It's not the same thing. She's like, call a suicide hotline, please. Yeah, please. That was not a joke at Robin Williams' expense. That was just a joke at Danielle's expense. And only on this show could the Robin Williams suicide turn so quickly to what a whore Danielle Staub is. Just shut up over there, Danielle Staub. Get in a car with Jill.

I will say, I miss Danielle Staub. As much as we're bashing her, I would love her to come back on The Real Housewives. Yeah, not me. Yeah, I would. Not me, unless one of those ladies finally just brought a baseball bat and started knocking people in the head with it. Then I'd root for her to come back. Well, you know, speaking of returning to The Real Housewives, have we all heard about the fact that Bethany Frankel is supposed to return to Real Housewives of New York as a guest star? Oh, as a guest star, mate.

Like an occasional friend of, or what? I guess. I mean, she's doing nothing. I mean, her entire world has fallen apart she lost her she lost her husband she lost her uh her talk show she sold her skinny girl away and uh now people kind of think that she's sort of like awful so uh you know she's doing the right thing 50 million dollars or some shit like that maybe she just needs to go buy a big house somewhere lock herself inside of it and breathe deeply and be grateful is that so much to ask yeah well she doesn't operate like that you

know she needs to go back onto real housewives and rebuild her image oh god i don't know that that can work on these shows it's a different world from when she's on who i know builds their image who has a good image for being on Housewives? Maybe Lisa Vanderpump. Well, Luanne has rebuilt her image. Only because she's not on it. It's like that person that you've never seen anymore and you remember them more fondly, you know? Yeah, well, that's what Bethany will be doing.

Oh, yeah, that's true. As long as we don't have to go home with her. Ugh, that was the worst. It's like I'm doing a calendar. Look at me. I'm doing a calendar. I'm in a calendar. Look at me. I'm doing a calendar. I'm in a calendar. It's about animals. Okay, what else? So hot being famous.

My assistants. Jeez, shut up. Okay, she's stupid. And Dana Wilkie. Did we talk about this last week? No. This is my favorite piece of gossip in a long time. Dana Wilkie got arrested in Florida for insurance fraud, like a big one, that she was actually carrying out with a couple of other people.

And that bitch is going down. She's going to jail. And by the way, for people who don't know who the hell Dana Wilkie is, she was a friend of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills season two. Yeah, she was the one. Look at these sunglasses. $25,000. $25,000. My son can speak Thai.

He's 18 months. He can speak Thai. Isn't that crazy? And then she came on the next year all drunk and bitter because she wasn't asked back and made a total ass out of herself at lunch with Taylor. I mean, if you can make yourself uncomfortable around... I mean you can make taylor armstrong uncomfortable because you're too much of

a wreck yes um what else did we have i guess that's it well the other gossip is that we um we went to leah black's house over the weekend and um we hung out with such Bravo luminaries as Leah Black herself and Jeff Lewis and Gretchen and Slade. Yeah, I didn't talk to Jeff Lewis. I talked to his boyfriend a little bit, Gage. I kept wanting to call him Garth. Very hot. He's cute, right?

Yeah, very cute. He's nice. I made him really uncomfortable. It was fun. You know, I didn't talk to either one of them because, I mean, I didn't have anything inherently i needed to say to them um if we were in there like a if we were in like a circle and then we're having a conversation as a group then sure i would have talked but i wasn't like uh two of the other people at that place that were kissing ass oh my

god there were these two gay guys there who were just falling all over the place and we were like hey guys how do you know all these people? And one of them was like, I run a celebrity blog. I used to run the celebrity blog. And I had a party for it. And Leah brought all of the housewives of Miami. So here's the thing. To be fair, at first I thought these guys were really nice.

They were really nice. They were nice. They were nice the entire time. But at first I thought they were, like, nice and, like, oh, my God, these guys were really nice. They were really nice. They were nice the entire time. But at first, they were nice and like, oh, my God, these guys are fun. They were really nice and fun. They were just really dumb faggitos. Well, we had a great conversation about House Hunters.

It was so fun. I was like, these guys are awesome. This is great. New friends. And then they were like, oh, by the way, could you give us a ride down the ride down the hill because we have to get an uber just be a lot easier if you give us a ride down the hill i'm like yeah sure sure sure but then they got drunk and leah had her psychic there and hopefully you guys all remember leah psychic from the show this short little guy who has a little chain and he and he counts numbers and says weird things. And elastic jeans.

Truly. He was, like, keeping the torch alive for Beagle Boy. But he was... He was like, just in case I gain 500 pounds tonight. In case I eat too much of this sushi. I don't want to have to unbutton my pants. So it was hilarious, because once these two adorable gays got drunk they became obsessed with trying to like hang out with jeff lewis and i like it took an hour oh over an hour

to get them out of the house and when because i was like trying to leave but then they were like no but we have to like talk one of them was like listen i'm having a moment with jeff lewis so can you just hold on a moment oh my god so of course i just went outside and watched like it was a tv show i just sat there and watched um and jeff lewis just basically openly mocked this person he did and skewered him for literally like 30 minutes and the guy's like why are you being so mean to me jeff and then jeff would just kind of laugh and completely mock him it was really really funny just like he does on the show but in real life and it was like he's interested it's like a Jeff would just kind of laugh and completely mock him. It was really, really funny. Just like he does on the show, but in real life.

And it was like he's interested. It's like a cat with a little toy, you know? Yeah, exactly. A pathetic little jingle jangle toy that doesn't even know it's being batted around. It's like you're not being complimented. And then later he's like, Jeff gave me his phone number. I'm like, yeah, right. Wait till you call it. It's probably like the weather.

Yeah. The time, you know. Then he proceeded to show us all the dick pics he'd received in the past, I don't know, year or whatever. I was like, is that Grindr? And he's like, no, it's just my texts. Yeah, I'm like, congratulations. You speak to gay guys. Everyone gets dick pics.

I don't know why I'm throwing so much shade at him. It was such a non-bravo thing to you but it was so funny yeah it was so anyway but actually what was funny was leah's i was sitting next to gretchen oh actually let me back up so gretchen's there and at one point she points to ronnie she well she points to like this group because it was ronnie ronnie and also amy phillips who does all the bravo impersonations and if you haven't seen her shannon bedore uh impersonation on bravo go to our facebook page so gretchen's like wait a second which one of you people make fun of me and then like leah points to i was like oh that's ronnie and then ronnie's like well

then ronnie points to me he's like well it's both of us, really. Oh, my God. Gretchen totally ignores that I had anything to do with this. Gretchen starts, like, pointing her finger at Ronnie, like, in a way, it's being like, I'm cool with it. I think it's funny. But you can see that she doesn't really think it's that funny. But she's, like, hashing out with Ronnie. And I'm just, like, sitting there to the side, just sort of, like. That was so awkward.

Well, because she wasn't talking about the podcast, I don't think. I mean, what we ended up talking about was those videos that I used to make, which were Real Housewives in two minutes. And I stopped making them because they kept taking down my damn YouTube page. Yeah. But it's like My Big Brother in two minutes where I just, like, recap the show, but I just use screenshots from the show and then make all the voices or whatever. And, like, they're really mean, you know? Yeah. And, you know, Gretchen's voice, however, however.

And so she was like, you guys make fun of me. I want to see your impression. And she really does talk like that. I want to see your impression of me. And Roy, Leah's husband, had just finished telling Amy, you know what I love about you, Amy Phillips? You can send people up, but it's not in a mean way. You're a nice girl. And of course, I'm not at all.

I'm horrible. So she's like, do the imitation of me. And so I was like, Vicky's mean. However, Vicky's not nice. However, I just kept doing that over and over. And she didn't totally get it. And she just kind of looked like

like she didn't really get it but it was amazing to do it and then for some reason slade i don't know what slade thought about that but slade told me he's gonna be a serious actor now and stop with reality shows and then i was like you know maybe it's time to go yeah that was that was what we were laughing about that he he was like, yeah, I'm trying to get away from reality and get into drama. We're like, no, when you say trying to get away from reality, that means you go into a whole different field. You don't stay on TV. And you're definitely not going to go into drama. But actually, Gretchen was really sweet.

She was totally nice. You know what? Slade was actually really nice, too. I mean, I didn't get impressed. He just sort of was like slayed he had big hair um but what was funny was i was sitting next to gretchen while she was getting um her fortune read by leah's fortune teller and it was this totally bizarre moment where you know this guy norman was like okay i'm gonna read you he's like he starts waving this chain and he's

like okay ph 18 16 16 15 14 13 14 13 15 uh, you are a 15-year-old on the inside. She's like, I am. And then he's like, okay, purple, red, purple, green, purple, purple. I'm seeing purple. And then he starts looking at her fingers, and he's like, okay, I see some creases here. These are twins. Do you have twins in your life? And she's like, oh, my God.

Slid. Slid. He just said twins. And and she's like oh my god Slade, Slade he just said twins and Slade's like huh and she's like I was just the other day I cracked open an egg and two yolks came out and I said I hope this doesn't mean I'm going to have twins and I was like you are so

bringing, like she literally said this and it was just funny because it's like that's how psychics work I mean they say something and then you bring everything to the table you know like no the fact that you saw first of all the fact that you saw an egg with two yolks is like does not mean you're gonna have twins and that's it's a thing that happens i see them i'm not having twins it also means you should start buying organic eggs you bitch so it's just it's just funny that she was she was just bringing she kept she didn't i don't think she even realized how much information she kept on volunteering to the psychic and at

one point the psychic read something totally wrong and then she's like well and he goes wait wait wait hold on a second no no i meant the opposite of that because i just realized this this and this i just like it was just it was well gretchen told me inside, she's like, well, me and Slade are planning, she goes, oh, well, I'm trying to get pregnant. And I said, does Slade know that? And she started laughing. She's like, that's funny. I said, wow, you sure stick to your guns until you get what you want. I mean, geez, how long have you been talking about that?

She's like, I know, right? But then she, well, here's actually what you want. I mean, geez, how long have you been talking about that? She's like, I know, right? But then she lets, then she let, well, here's actually what was funny. To Norman's credit, he told her that they're not going to be able to conceive. And she's like, what? No, da-da-da-da-da.

And then she was like, and then he's like, oh, wait, wait, wait, no. I misread that, because he saw he had upset her. And then like 10 minutes later, she's like, she mentions that Slade had a vasectomy. And Norman's like, oh, well, that's why I said you can't conceive, that slated had a vasectomy and norman's like oh well that's why i said you can't conceive because he's had a vasectomy

you know it's just i don't know yeah she's like i don't i thought you were talking about conceiving pilot ideas yeah he uh i guess he's gonna have to reverse the i mean i don't know i just told her to adopt a baby it's like why do we need other children? Just adopt one that's already there. And she's like, well, we want to try and have one that's ours. I'm like, I was like, why? She said, that's just natural. And I'm like, I didn't say this, but I mean, if you're Slade and Gretchen, why does that need to keep going on? It's like, you don't need to have exact replicas of those.

You guys are great and everything, but just adopt. Do us all a favor and just adopt, okay? Well, I guess we'll see how that goes. But they're both super nice.

Yeah. And that little Ross Matthews guy was there and he's nice. Yeah. And gold. He was wearing red pants. He was nice.

And I don't remember what, there were some Bravo producers there and stuff. And we were just sort of like lingering around eating all the free food. Pretty much, yeah. I mean, I think we're pretty good about not being too Hollywood and trying to get jobs from everybody. Because we talked to a lot of people who could probably hook us up.

But I was like, can I ask you a really important question? Do you know if there's more wasabi? Damn it. Try and get a sitcom or something, boy. I know. There were actually real executives there and we're sitting there like gorging our faces with cupcakes and sushi but you never know at leah's party because some of them are you know famous people and some of them are like oh i uh i was her uber driver last week and she offered me a room in her home yeah uh yeah so who knows uh so let's move on to some show recapping shall we yeah what do you want to start with oh um you know i just watched the the

real houses of new york city reunion and i took some notes so let's do it yeah so um sonia's christian sonia is christian she knows how to forgive because she's christian oh my god she's like a nun you know i really wasn't all for the iraqi slaughtering the christians until i saw that yeah you know i had like you're in the wrong country i think i had a dream that gia judas became a nun i had a dream that Gia Giudice became a nun. I had a dream last night, by the way, that I, like, Teresa Giudice decided that she wanted to be a singer like every other Bravo star. And she sang a cover of All the Man That I Need. But it was so funny because she was going, you're all the man that I need. It was just very intense in my dream. And, you know, when you have a dream and, like, this is is a dream but this is what it would feel like if it were real like i i basically know what it's like to

hear a truce did you guys sing it was amazing god i'm not you would i would never be able to go back to sleep i didn't i'd be like those people in the freddy krueger movies like eating coffee grounds like trying to tape my lids open i woke up inside my mattress um there was like a tongue coming out of my my telephone and it smelled like meatballs so anyway um okay so the real housewives of new york reunion it started off with some more aviva craziness when she started aviva's new thing is that she insults people, and then later when she's called on it, she claims that it's a compliment. When she apparently said to Carol, she's like, well, at least I'm not 50. And then she's like, well, I meant that as a compliment. Because I thought you were 70.

I thought you were older than that. I don't understand. I was calling you 50 to be nice. I thought you were older than that. Like, I don't understand. I was calling you 50 to be nice. I thought you were way older. So is that the thing? Like, when you insult, when you're complimenting people, you say it in, like, a disparaging way. Well, at least I'm not young and beautiful. That's a compliment.

Yeah, she's really a mean bitch. But she's so, she just sticks to her guns. Like, I just, I mean, I still kind of like her. I hope she doesn't get fired from the show. She's so she just sticks to her guns like i just i mean i still kind of like her i hope she doesn't get fired from the show she's so funny she's a great villain i mean she and she also did the thing with the um the compliment later when she called sonia and nicole smith she's like well i think it's a great compliment she was vivacious she was beautiful and then it was like she died of drugs yeah she died of a drug overdose but you know what i mean these look who's not wrong aviva's not wrong yeah aviva's not wrong i mean actually at least anna nicole smith had her own

show she had a billionaire husband she had a cute kid which she had a she had a she had a professional you know leech in howard stern yeah well sonya's got their professional leeches but she doesn't have her own show yet she's still got a way to go i mean i guess i'm trying to say anna nicole smith should be a goal for sonya not a put down that's true way further along so he was like, well, you know, the metaphor is appropriate. I used to be a guest jeans model. Yeah, I used to be guest jeans. And Bugle Boy, you know, Bugle Boy is through very well in the psychic community.

Bugle Boy. I do a lot of Lee's Jeans. Lee's Jeans. I'm very big in Saint-Tropez. I've got a billboard in Saint-Tropez. And they say, hey, I can't say – people are crashing their cars because they see me in my lead jeans on the billboard in Saint-Tropez, and they crash their cars. So it's like it's very big. I'm very big around the world.

They want my jeans. Yeah, one time I was at JCPenney, and I was like, oh, JC, why don't you just make it pennies? And they did. Yeah. I went to say Kmart, and I said, Kmart, what does the K stand for? Just call it Mart. And that's something they're going to do. And they're going to sell my toaster in it.

And what you do is when my jeans are wet, you put it in the toaster and it dries the jeans. It's great. And everyone in San Tropez wants one. A jean dryer. You know that Mervyn's commercial where there's just a woman going open, open, open? That was based on me. Yeah. I'm a model.

You know, Flo the progressive girl. That's me. That's me. Flo the progressive girl. I'm a progressive. I'm a progressive Christian. Yeah. I dress in white. And so they said, hey, Flo the progressive girl. That's me. That's me. Flo the progressive girl. I'm a progressive Christian. Yeah. I dress in white. And so they said, hey, Flo.

Flo, we want a Sonia Morgan. But they couldn't get me. You know, they couldn't get me. I was doing my show on Central Face. They couldn't get me. They got Flo. That's okay. Rolls off my back.

I'm looking at comments about New York. Well, you took notes. What else happened on New York? So the big thing, which I actually thought was, to me, this was actually a little bit more jaw-dropping. Maybe I'm just, like, too PC or whatever. But I thought Aviva could not have sounded any whiter than when she was accusing when she was accusing heather of essentially sounding black so when she was when when when they were recalling the moments when heather had called aviva a motherfucker and aviva's like this isn't the hood this is the hamptons as if like saying motherfucker automatically

makes you like equates to being in the hood which is so hilarious and also so like quietly racist like like the implications are so racist um i actually i don't even know if it's racist there's just like it just oozes of ignorance the thing is like aviva has all of these things to say that she's prepared beforehand i mean that's like the whole leg thing like she she said like she was ready to throw that leg she was waiting for someone to say something, and they didn't. And she had to actually come up with a line to, like, make it okay to throw her leg. Right. Because no one called her fake or whatever.

And I think this is the same thing. I think this one she was coming in because Heather's trying to talk like she's a hip-hop star who, like, lives in P-Daddy's guest room. And she doesn't. And she's not well i mean here's the thing we we i think to be totally honest we joke that heather tries to sound like a hip-hop star i think in reality i don't think that she is truly sound trying to sound like a hip-hop star i think she tries to sound young i think she tries to sound young and cool i don't think she tries to talk basically black oh yes she does oh no she totally does oh she totally does

it's so embarrassing i can cringe i cringe even thinking about it well this actually gets into a whole linguistic issue because the line between sounding like trying to sound cool and trying to sound black is very blurred because obviously like you know dominant like the like culture takes from like you know black culture and gay culture. And there's this whole raging thing going on right now about that. And I just feel like I've seen people trying to talk black, quote unquote black. And like, Heather is so like, if she is doing it, she's so the lightest version of it. But I do think she is trying to sound like cool and hip, you know, but either way. No, I think she's totally trying to sound like cool and hip you know but either way no i think she's totally trying to

sound hip-hop and she just can't pull it off she's too she's way too white and too old and she doesn't get it and she's out of touch and she looks like a total dork but i feel like her children would be like oh god mom uh like that's embarrassing they will for sure but that being said there's really nothing more cringeworthy than hearing an old white lady saying something like, you're in my face getting all ghetto. Yes. Yeah, I mean, she was prepared to go after for all of her stupid language, wannabe language that whole year. But I guess since it never came up, she used motherfucker. So it's like, I don't know. She needs to be coached on how to properly do it because she's not bringing people down like she could be because she's not using the right segues.

I mean, maybe we should call her because we've really worked on our segues over the years. Yeah, we really have. But still, though, when Aviva says you are not brought up in the ghetto in the ghetto girl holla um there is like an element that i i'm just imagining that a lot of black people cringed because they're just oh i'm sure yeah ghetto i mean here's the thing it's weird in certain contexts you'd be like oh my god this is so ghetto you know that's that's that's sort of how people use the term ghetto is it is like no but she means like you're literally trying to sound like a black person Exactly say like you're trying to sound like a black person. She's saying you sound ghetto, which is offensive like I get it I'm not setting up. I think yeah, I think it I think these days using the term ghetto is a way to describe

Things that are broken down whatever. I don't think you you're really not supposed to apply it to people anymore I think in fact at my college whatever i don't think you you're really not supposed to apply it to people anymore i think in fact at my college um they had a party uh when i was a sophomore there was a party called the ghetto party and they're like people come dress up like you like like you have a crack baby and blah blah blah and it was hugely controversial i mean national news it was like they debated it on politically incorrect it's a whole big deal so i'm sort of like ever since then it was like oh my god don't use ghetto the wrong way but it's sort of true though i mean you can't say like for aviva to say you're my face acting all ghetto is kind of code you know if you were to say oh my god it's not even code i

mean she knew what she was saying and heather did too and she turned it around and she's like that is so offensive i grew up with a single mother and we were poor. I'm like, oh, please. Like, you don't know what she's saying. Come on. I think what Heather was saying was that, like, I grew up in this. I grew up like this. And what you're saying is actually so disrespectful for people who were raised in, you know, quote, unquote, the hood or quote, unquote, the ghetto. You know, in areas like that. I think that's what I took from what she was trying to say.

I took it as I am street bitch i was poor so that's why i can't talk like that i'm not some phony and i was like uh you're still a phony i don't care either way i wasn't being poor doesn't make you straight i i was really glad honestly when when heather just turned to have even said you don't even know what you're talking about it's insulting i was like thank you because it wasn't it's what naviba was saying regardless It's insulting. I was like, thank you. Because it wasn't. It's what Aviva was saying, regardless of whether you think Heather's trying to talk black or cool or whatever. What Aviva was saying was like, actually. Yeah, yeah.

I'm not arguing. Totally. Aviva's an asshole. Like, I just, I don't even have a problem with her being an asshole. I just want her to be better at it. Because she gets confused. Exactly. But then what was hilarious was that Aviva would not like relent and she's

like well there are people in gangs who speak very rough just like if just because you say motherfucker does not like take you down to level being in the in the crips in the bloods especially when they just showed a clip of her saying shut the fuck up to somebody exactly they tried to bring that up they they tried to, like, throw that in Aviva's face, and she, like, didn't even. But the best is when Ramona tries to play the mediator, and she's like, well, you know, a lot of your expressions are like you were brought up in the ghetto. I love when Ramona told her, well, you know, Aviva, we've become friends this season. And, you know, I know that we've learned to enjoy each other. But let's face it. Sometimes your personality is real fun.

And sometimes it's just really vile. And Aviva's like, you know what? You know what? I don't know if I can talk about this anymore to someone who calls me vile. I don't know. You know, I don't know. I'm not going to talk to someone who calls me vile. And then that's when Ramona turned around, like, to face her.

And then you see Andy, like, all confused because he's been ramrodded again in his own stupid joke. And he's like, well, I think that what Ramona is saying is that sometimes you're vile. She's like, you know what? You know what? I don't have to do this. I don't have to say anything. I am who I am. I know what I know. And I know that Carol doesn't write her own book.'t have to say anything. I am who I am. I know what I know.

And I know that Carol doesn't write her own book. And that's that. And I'm okay with it. And Heather's from the ghetto. And Heather speaks like she's in a gang. And if you look up a black person dictionary, it's Heather. Though I love that Ramona just won't drop it. She's like, okay, let's start over.

Okay, you know what I was saying before. Let me say it again. And then I'm going to say it again. And she's trying to get all therapeutic on her. And then I'm going to say it again. And she's trying to get all therapeutic on her. And Andy's in the background just shaking his head like, how did this get away from me? It's like, babe, you never had it. Like, I can't believe that they're ever quiet for you. The best part of these reunions is watching Andy not be able to control one single thing.

I love it. Well, I like when Ramona is, like to be peacemaker and says like the worst thing. When she says that, she's like, you know, I found you very friendly, but then you're also vile. Or when she's talking about Heather's kid, she's like, you know, he's doing so well and you're such an inspiration and you're dealing with a lot of hardships. And he's a wonderful kid. And you know what? He doesn't even realize he's handicapped. Do you know how much money she's gonna save on orchestra

seats thanks ramona you can sit in the back it's okay you don't ever have to take him to a rock concert itunes is expensive my father always said i wish you were deaf so i wouldn't have to pay for all this music i'm buying you from wondery this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly.

There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less. In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some. As a fighter for Black rights, she is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.

Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Black is beautiful. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's industry's Myhala Harreld, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top 10, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance

at the list on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost?

Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. My father always said, here, we're going to go to a concert where Geraldine Parsons-Smith is going to play trombone. I'm going to like it. And I'd say, Mom, I wish I were deaf so I wouldn't have to concert where Geraldine Parsons-Smith is going to play trombone. I'm going to like it. And I'd say, Mom, I wish I were deaf so I wouldn't have to listen to Geraldine Parsons-Smith play trombone.

It's like my wish went on to your child. It's almost like you were near me when I was making that wish and it went into your womb. Okay? Okay. So you should really be thanking me, okay? Because now your son doesn't have to deal with the things that I had to deal with as a child, okay? Sorry. He doesn't have to. All the things that i had to deal with as a child okay sorry it doesn't have to all right what else happened in this reunion um i mean there's a lot of like general chatter and kristen was complaining about this or that kristen was being annoying as usual um i did like honestly when sonja did say that she when she was able to forgive because

she's christian and you hear luanne the background go, oh, now I've heard everything. That was pretty much Luanne the entire room was like, oh, here we go again. Now I've heard everything. Oh, Sonia, Sonia. Is that it? I think that was really the bulk of it. There was other stuff.

I was like, don't get me mad. Real Housewives of New York. Where is it? Real Housewives of New York. Real Housewives of New York. Let's see some reader comments. Heather is smart. Ramona said to Aviva, no, no, no no you're future tripping which was awesome yeah

i know talk about ghetto um this is the hood this is the hamptons um yeah i think we got it all yeah well while we go on to new jersey i also wrote notes about that okay let's do it to new jersey i also wrote notes about that okay let's do it um so we had the fallout from the big fight and um so basically it started off where we saw jim uh marchese marchese whatever fighting man did he dig his hole deep as possible he you know what you know what i don't like about this guy is that he's making me take jojo dice's side like he is he is a little prick he is a little weasel asshole prick and i love that when he's uh squaring off against um joe gorga and and he's like like hey take a step back take a step back and he goes it's called attitude and decor i'm like no it's attitude decorum not oh my god i just like i like the idea but like this is involving attitude and also perhaps some interior design.

No one on this show needs help with decor, okay? They've got that covered. They've got their gold-covered roosters in their fucking French country kitchens just fine. Edible arrangement platters right in the middle. I don't know if you noticed that. I was like, there's an edible freaking arrangement thing in the middle of this thing. Fuck's sake. I don't know if you noticed that.

I was like, there's an edible freaking arrangement thing in the middle of this thing. Yeah, but he comes in, guns a-blazing, calls Midget Joe an idiot, says that he works for the DA that is prosecuting Joe, which is a lie. It's not even true. Yeah. I think poor Nicole, one of the twins, she tells us in my favorite quote of hers. It's actually a two-part quote. Both parts are very funny. First she goes, I'm upset this fight had to happen in front of upstanding members of our community.

Which is like I am really sad about this community. I saw the people that weren't even speaking. Like I paused the screen many times. I was like these ladies with their big boobs and big makeup. The fact that they're upstanding members of the community it gives me great concern for colts neck new jersey and then she goes she's like in front of upstanding members of our community and in front of people i had to see in the post office and dunkin donuts she said it completely seriously my coolada i have such coolada shame now i can't even get my culotta in peace.

Oh, my God. No one even said that. I don't have a cow talk. I know. I actually have, once again, I have another can of casserole in my tongue because I went to the dentist and I think the drill poked me. So when I do my Nicole impersonation, it actually hurts too much to do it because it requires my tongue to move in a certain way. So I just have this weird that, that noise amber leaves she goes up the stairs and leaves the basement they're partying in i mean what is that what's happening at this that's i thought

it was so funny this party was all in a basement it's like someone's basement yeah and uh she leaves and then whatever stupid twin i don't i don't know the difference, starts giving a monologue to the whole party. She's like, that girl is nothing but disrespectful. And I don't appreciate the way. I'm not going to take it. And that girl, she better think twice. I'm like, oh my God. She's never coming to Dunkin' Donuts with me, ever.

Ever. If she wants to come to Dunkin' Donuts with me, she better apologize and it better feel, there better be a little bit of a force in it, okay? She better not even park outside the Dunkin' Donuts. Because if she does, I'm going to have to weigh some donut holes on her windshield. And that will make me angry. Those cooladas are just for me, okay? No cooladas for Amber.

She has to go to Krispy Kreme, okay? I'm sorry. No culottes for Amber. She has to go to Krispy Kreme, okay? So Amber goes out. Of course, she forgot her keys and has to go back in. And then what happened? Well, then what happens is that, oddly enough, Teresa is calm. Teresa and the other one, Dina Manzo. And I think it was two of them and Rosie, I believe. Maybe Rosie. Look, here's how you do the fight okay you tell her you're not gonna take a shit and if she gives you shit you

say no i ain't taking that okay thanks rosie more fighting advice from rosie so oh no i'm sorry it's melissa dina and and uh theresa and they said to Jim, they're like, we just want to know what's going on. We had heard that you didn't want to hang out or whatever. And then Jim is just such an ass. He's like, okay, let me explain this to you, okay? I work in mortgages, all right? And now Joe is being accused of mortgage fraud, okay? I want you to think about that for a second.

And they're like – and he's like, Jesus, does anyone in this room have an IQ higher than 12? I mean he was right. But at the same – like you to think about that for a second and they're like uh and he's like jesus does anyone in this room have an iq higher than 12 i mean he was right but at the same like you don't say that yeah so rude it's what dina does yeah dina does actually and he was the whole thing and i love that dina's like uh yeah you just called us stupid and you're a pussy and she's like you're a little bitch she's she actually had an amazing line where she's like, the amount of douchebaggery in Jim Marchese is enough to clean a whale's vagina. Wow, that's a good line. That was good. And she's right.

I mean, he is like a little dweeb. And he's like, you know how I fight? I don't like to fight. I'm a lawyer. I take them into the court. And I, like, abused them over three years. And I ruined their lives. I was like, shut up, you man. Talk about a guy with a sword. Sword take them into the court. And I abused them over three years. And I ruined their lives. I was like, shut up, you man.

He's talking about a guy with a short penis. Short man. Yeah, short guy. Another angry short man on Jersey. That's all we fucking need. Also, by the way, what should also be noted is that when he started talking to the women, first, he started to lie. He was like, no, I only said, you know, I like to be with my wife.

I like, you know, if I'm going to go out, I want to go out with my wife. I don't want to go out with guys. Maybe there'll be a fight. And like I'm doing it really honestly because I'm looking out for your husband. That's all. I'm doing it out of concern for your family. That's all. I'm like, shut the fuck up.

Yeah, that guy is the worst. And I think he is cast for, I think that that couple was cast for him. Yeah, I think so but you know i was also thinking uh about real houses of new jersey on a macro level and i was thinking about why this whole all this business doesn't seem to like it seems sort of annoying and stupid because you know what happened was the whole rest of the episode was talk about oh my god like amber and jim like amber used to be so sweet now she's not or jim was like like this and or i'll never speak to amber again she's gossiping it's all this stuff and i'm watching it

i'm thinking myself okay this is like entertaining but it all kind of feels stupid and contrived and i realized that i think the issue here and it also surfaces in atlanta which makes atlanta feel kind of like fake or whatever, is that an issue arises, and then suddenly it's World War III out of nowhere, and then people just hold on to it in such a deep, angry way that you think you're being so ridiculous. Whereas, if you look at OC this season, the reason why it's been so good

is that it's been this amazing slow build between Shannon and Heather. And like you can see their attempts to defuse it early on. You can see like little run-ins. They get a little chippy. And it builds and builds and builds. And then finally it explodes. And then you're really into it.

And you also understand it because that's the way life is. So it's strange that, okay, so Amber gossips about Nicole. Nicole hears it from Melissa. All of a sudden they're pulling each other's hair. And it's like it goes from zero to 60 so fast that it doesn't – it feels like they just want to fight. It just gets to that point where Jerry Springer, you know, a fight broke out. It made that show really popular. And then before you know it, every episode was fighting.

And then the next season there's five security guards on duty because that's just how it is now. Like, every time somebody comes out, they start fighting. Then they calm down. And that's how these shows are getting. It's like once they cross the line of being able to hit somebody, now every one of them has somebody hit somebody. Like Miami, they had the thing where somebody got hit. Then it happened on this one. It happened, which was the other one atlanta it happened on atlanta next now this one it's like but again i feel like it's devolving into pure shit i mean it's always been you know

one interesting thing slade uh told me the other day and i didn't talk to him for like three hours but he was being really nice and he was like you know these shows are just all about these women being mean to each other and i'm like duh and he's like yeah but you know they were supposed to be a comedy they were created by a groundling which i didn't know i didn't know that guy was a groundling he's like yeah so one of the guys from the groundlings theater created the show to be a sitcom about like an improvised sitcom about all these women and that's why the first season was kind of funny and then you know like once somebody got in a fight and people got ratings and it's just slowly turned into what it is and i think that's so interesting because this that what i love about them are not the fights i actually love when they're that's why i'm loving melbourne they're

fighting but they're so stupid. The fights are so stupid. The funny parts are where the ladies are just, they're only following the lady single, you know? Like the barrister who wears all the makeup and like, I mean, I was dying laughing through the whole thing. It's like a sitcom. And these are like Jerry Springer. I don't watch, I just hate that shit. It makes me want to turn it right off.

But that's why New Jersey and Atlanta sometimes feel kind of like very thin experiences. When you looked at the first season of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, it was so captivating because it was a slow build. It started with Camille versus Kyle, and they got bad vibes from each other, and apparently there was this comment that was said. and that you know they got bad vibes from each other and apparently there's this comment that was said and then there was they tried to hash it out and they tried to and just like it builds but also it was building because it was such a stupid little thing and it wasn't about a fight that season wasn't about fighting it was about these crazy women with all this damn money acting like fools not necessarily fighting each other but like lisa and the dmv i mean that's one of the funniest fucking things i've ever seen yeah you know where she had to

go to the beverly hills dmv with leach with cedric leach like that shit was amazing and that's why the fight was so interesting because it's actually you kind of ended up liking all these people because they were hilarious so the fact that they were fighting over something so stupid was actually kind of fun to watch you know right but still though i mean i i just think that when when the the people are quick to fight and then not just fight but then like to all of a sudden like we are no longer friends we are no longer friends over something so small and so stupid it just it it doesn't it just doesn't captivate in the same way as watching truly watching something build up and unfold it's just totally phony and that's why what about the boyfriend so bobby or whatever one of the

boyfriends wasn't he the one who went up to joe and was like oh they don't want to hang out with you that was him right yeah he was the one who instigated all of this yeah he's the one who started it so i don't think it's bad all of his friends dumped him i think they're smart i agree and he started all of this and he did it with like a laugh he was like well he he said uh don't he told me all this stuff he never said don't tell anyone and it's like you're a real putz yeah that should be implied don't tell anyone stupid yeah so basically amber and her midget husband broke up with him and we're like get out of our house you're no longer our friend because you're staying with that evil woman and so he's like okay and he left and he's like maybe now my

baby will believe that i love her because i dropped my friends for her it's like no you actually just started a huge fucking fight and she's too stupid to know that it was all your fault until she sees this. So, bye. Yeah, why don't you propose to her? Then she'll know. Yeah. I don't know. You break it, you buy it.

What else happened on that show? This show always consistently depresses me. Every season of Jersey stresses me out the people on it are so fucking horrible i just want them all to fucking die and it's only episode what four yeah well you know so the other things that happened uh were that um you know there were you know amber did have a point that that melissa basically was like shitty and passive-aggressive to her i mean i mean amber passed she amber did gossip that's true and then melissa immediately goes and tells like the new friend as opposed to like looking out for her old friend you know that that is shitty and i i did

agree with amber on that point um but yeah the whole thing is is so stupid the other things that happened um this actually made me laugh and i felt bad because I shouldn't laugh because she's just a little girl. But when the dog ate the chicken and they had a flashback of Gia in the dog pen and she was like, Dad, he was eating them. I don't know what to do. I started laughing because they were playing this very serious music. And he's like, so what? Who cares? We'll go buy more chickens.

She's like, Dad. Let's just go get some more. We'll just go get some more chickens for him to kill. Dad. Dad. Poor Gia. Poor Gia. She's going to have a complicated life coming up. Yeah, she does.

So what else? Let's see. Dina went on a date with that guy who's like, I'll just have some coffee. I'll have some coffee, please. Yeah, the nervous gay guy. Whatever. Next.

Let's see. That's really it. I mean, Amber went to the spa uh dina and theresa and they had nightingale droppings put on their face uh pretty basic stuff okay i think we can move on okay so oh see oh see so okay so kind of continuing about what we were just talking about yeah i have loved shannon this whole season and i still do but you know what i'm she's on my nerves now because she's doing the exact same thing she's like oh you know you want to see a fight you better watch out it's like oh jesus you're just you're already a fucking shrew just like the rest of them and you you're not even done like normally you guys wait until

your second season's before you turn into c words now it's like lizzie and you are already totally there in the first season i don't like it oh but don't act like you didn't enjoy watching all the women gang up on tamra it would have been fun if she sat there and took it but she didn't yeah she just ran away yeah it was fantastic it was honestly it was like everything i had dreamed before and i love tamra does have a point that that lizzie girl is just totally coming for and turning everyone against her now she's doing it with true comments that tamra said but tamra's always a bitch and making jokes behind everybody's back that's exactly it's not like it's a surprise but lizzie's turning it into like this capital offense that now everybody's suddenly offended by tamra when tamra usually does a lot

worse to people oh so much worse there was one example in fact i wish i'd written it down that tamra kept on throwing in the face of everyone else and it was um it was like tamra you do the exact same thing to everyone. To everyone. She's just a... She's just terrible. And I loved how Vicky was just sitting there, just shaking her head. Like, huh? I love that Vicky totally needs a storyline, so she turned on the victim tears.

That was hilarious. Like, she's so shocked that Tamara doesn't like Brooks. Shut up. I know. I know. I thought we were friends again. It's like, shut up.oks is a piece of shit everybody knows brooks is a piece of shit longevity doesn't change the fact that he's a piece of shit all right a piece of shit doesn't just morph into something else if you leave it on the grass it just gets colder and harder i did love how there was just

like all this like they the producers kept on showing all this evidence of tamra talking shit about everyone tamra's like i never said that and it showed like three clips of her talking crazy shit like in this casual way i should be like lifting weights like yeah you know um i heard that brooks is actually a terrorist from kuwait yeah but i love that she leaves and heather doesn't even, or Shanna doesn't even care. She just continues. Yeah. She just continues dropping bombs until the plane's empty. Love it.

Yeah. No, it was. Oh, and then she got Heather because what did Tamara say about Heather? That they weren't real friends and she was just in her wedding because. Oh, yeah. Publicity or something. But we never saw Tamara say that, right? I don't even know where that came from.

And then Heather was like, But at least went straight up to Tamara's face, which is more than I can say for anybody else. Yeah. Tamara's breakdown has been amazing, by the way. She freaked out a couple weeks ago, started telling everybody off on Twitter uh started telling everybody off on twitter started telling everybody off on facebook then canceled her facebook account and left the

country then she turned it back on this week and one of her posts was like just to clear the air i was not fired and and then of course her facebook erupted into giant fuck you's from everybody on earth it seemed like I think it's just I think it's great and by the way it does prove my point that the entire season all the drama of the season has like it's led to this point like naturally like

everything everything is like a coherent story like all the drama it all like it came down to this point as opposed to like other seasons where there's just like flare-ups and flare-ups and flare-ups and everyone becomes friends again yeah it's pretty perfect because next week is the season finale and and i love i love how this show is scaling back on budget it's like they went on they went to bally so their final party is like a pull-out table at Vicky's house. She's like, the theme today is peanut butter and jelly. Enjoy.

You bitches aren't going to eat anyway. And then it's just yelling at Tamara. By the way, someone says, Andrea Jean Robles says, by the way, I saw the exact same dress Tamara has in her opening at the TJ Maxx for $40. Oh, my God. That's hilarious.

Yeah. Yeah. Someone said on our Facebook page about the durian. I lost it. I don't know where the comment went. But they said pretty much big ups to the producers for making them eat durian, which is supposed to be like the most vile fruit on earth those girls just ate it without realizing yeah that uh they were like it tastes like monkey ass i know what durian is because i watch chopped yeah i've actually had i've had um a baked durian pie

at a chinese place and i thought it was all right it needs a lot of sugar, heavy cream, and a good pie crust. I've learned on Chopped. The only thing is that you get durian burps for the next two hours, and those are kind of nasty. Gross! I know. Other things in this episode that were notable were when Heather and Tamara were in a rice patty. They're like... Tamara's like, I thought rice came from

a rice tree. Doesn't everything cron trace? No. I want to see the rice. Pull the rice. The lady's like, what? Pull the rice. Show us the rice. Pull, pull. I love the hand gestures. They're making hand gestures for just pick it up and take it out.

And then they're, like, doing the look me in the eye thing. And then pick it up. And then the lady's like, we can't for whatever reason. Heather's like, oh, there's a rule we need to follow. Yeah, they're like, another rule to follow. Like, shut up. You're in a different country. You're special.

Yeah, no kidding. Get the poor rice patty lady fired, you dumb bitch. I hate those women and then tamra they're like looking at this buddhist temple and tamra's like i don't get it it's rocks with moss yeah jesus she needs to be sacrificed at the altar it was definitely an ugly american moment and vicky poking around in the temple and screaming and i wanted everyone to think there was a baddie in there it's brooks so they all come after tamra basically and tamra just runs away but now everyone's basically turned against her so it'll be interesting to see what happens.

Well, Tamara's going to do that thing when, you know, when Tamara is feeling like a victim. She does that thing where she speaks in very succinct, quiet syllables and sort of barely moves her lips. And she shakes her head a little bit too. Like, no, no, I don't. Yeah, like she just can't believe. It's like, oh, shut up. That's what she's going to do the entire next episode. I mean, Vicky does the same thing.

Vicky does it in a funnier way. Yeah, agreed. I mean, it looked like she had just witnessed a murder the way Tamra does. What's wrong? She's like, no, no, no, no, nothing. Tamra's like, are you sure? I love that she wouldn't even go to the bathroom with her. That was so funny.

She's like, that was great. Matt Whitfield, was Lizzie's friend on Real Housewives of Orange County supposed to be a full-time cast member? I think so. Yes. Please come back for the OC reunion, please and thank you. He wants Danielle to come back for it? No, Derek and Paula want Matt to come back for the Real Housewiveswives of orange county reunion we'll have to see if we can work that out oh i had oh by the way also my dream no joke uh ronnie before i like ran into theresa

you were like i gotta go i'm going to derrick's going to derrick's birthday our facebook brother no derrick from our. You're going to his birthday party. Derek Hazleton? Yeah. Thanks for the lack of a dream invite, Derek. Yeah, poor Ben. You're getting flooded by Derek in your dreams. I was left out in my dream. It's okay.

I got to see Teresa sing instead. Poor guy. Yeah, I would go to that party. I'd bring some muffins. Yeah. some muffins yeah sweet some durian muffins just kidding guys i'd like some delicious lemon meringue muffins yeah yeah um okay what else should we move on to game of cows yeah wow now that show takes the cake for the most awful disgusting pieces of shit human beings yeah and they're not on bravo yeah what are you even talking about on this show yeah half the show was some bitch whining about some stupid breast cancer walk like she's

hosting the oscars she's like i can't believe my friends aren't coming to watch me host the oscars and then you see her speech and she's like i had breast cancer let's walk how long did it take you to write that i know i mean while shelly spends the entire time by the way everything that shelly says is not for nothing she's like not for nothing not for nothing i wanted to be at the wedding but not for nothing i had to go to breast cancer but not for nothing. Not for nothing. I wanted to be at the wedding, but not for nothing. I had to go to the breast cancer ward, but not for nothing. I mean, it both worked out. She never quite got over the stardom she achieved in that Guys and Dolls dinner theater show she did when she was 16. Not for nothing.

Nothing, nothing. I did like how, because I liked how Vanessa was so past aggressive. It was like, you know what? Obviously, Lynn's wedding is more important And it's going to really bother her more So you don't have to come to my cancer walk That's it that's fine That's fine

I'm going to be at my cancer walk Whether you're at the wedding or you're at the cancer walk I'm going to be there either way I have a lot of friends Who love and support me So I won't be alone so i'll be okay even if you were to come to my cancer walk for cancer as one of our lovely readers pointed out her daughter wasn't even there so whatever yeah um and meanwhile lindy amante i mean not that

lindy amante is any better She's having her 15th fucking wedding. Well, this one's going to be like, you know, at the wedding, people were saying, I'm sorry. And, you know, this is going to cure me. This is going to cure me of everything now. Oh, really? So you're not going to have another wedding next year? Right, right. This is the cure.

She had a gargoyle there. It's going to be, like, it's going to be finally her first real wedding. Yeah, she had to have standing gargoyles for the Game of Crowns cast members that weren't there. I love her and her husband climbing in together on their, like, twin bed and looking through, like, these terrible photo albums. Oh, she's the worst. It's like, I'm calling my husband. I can't believe that I have to change my wedding. I'm on hold trying to get a new cake and trying to find someone to read the speech like no you're not you're not doing any of those things her conversation on the phone was

they hate me they're being mean to me and he's like we'll fix it babe and then she's like i'm on the phone with a cake maker it's like no you're not stop lying about everything. Cake maker. Yeah, because I'm sure the cake maker of Cranston, Rhode Island is super busy with orders right now. Yeah, all those Rhode Island weddings that are happening. He can't change the font on the sheet cake you've ordered.

He's already spray painted my picture on the cake. We've already called AMP and put in our order for the cake. Like, do you know how long a Ralph's cake lasts? I mean, that shit will last you through the zombie apocalypse. There's no reason to get a fresh cake. It's too late to change the order now. Costco stops taking orders on Sundays.

I hated that she said Lebanese so much. That really bugged me. I was like, Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie. Every time she said that, I just heard Ronnie's people. That really pissed me off. Ronnie's people. I don't like it. You know, I like when my people, if you say you're Lebanese,

and my grandma would be like, yeah, so I'm a Hayek. That's a good one. But I don't want people being like, wasn't that girl on Game of Crowns half Lebanese? It's like you ruined it. You fucking ruined it. You're like, I like it when people refer to Beirut as the Paris of the Middle East. I don't like it when they refer to Lynn Diamante as being half Lebanese. Yeah, Lynn Diamante is fucking terrible.

I love that name, though. Is that a perfect name or what lindy amante and she got the worst half to be lebanese to her face god bless her heart her nose specifically oh my goodness um she had her arranged marriage to julio oh yeah that's that was sort of funny she's like thank god we love each other i'm like yeah because you guys have no other options. Yeah. And if he did, he wouldn't be able to see him anyway.

Smutla, those look like joke glasses. Those look like those glasses you buy at a joke shop to make your eyes look like pin. That guy looked like the Muppet with the glasses. Skeeter. That's probably why they... They probably have a twin bed. That way they're forced to cuddle every night. He's like, I want to be close to you so I can see you and make sure you're in bed. Let's go.

So, yeah, that was the main fight this week was who's going to the breast cancer walk and then who's going to. Okay, so Vanessa is one of these people that she has a breast cancer walk. She brow beats her stupid friend into coming. She has a breast cancer walk. She browbeats her stupid friend into coming. She's like, I changed my speech just so you could hear it to six in the morning. On a wedding day. On someone's wedding day.

So she shows up with her kids to see this damn speech. And it's like two sentences long. Then she makes her actually do the fucking walk. Yeah, like. It's 25 miles. 25 miles. I think she did like 18 miles of it. I'm like, what? much i think she's like 18 miles of it i'm like what yeah so she does like 18 miles and then she's like well you know um i i think i'm gonna have

to go now i'm gonna be late to the wedding and she's like not for nothing okay well i'm really disappointed that you couldn't stay it's like bitch she just woke up at five in the morning and walked 18 miles for you and you don't even have cancer stop it i know god she's horrible and then when she gets back to her house she actually has a movie theater popcorn machine which is kind of hilarious yeah and her husband's like yeah you make popcorn good baby and she's like yeah see I don't need to have a wedding every year to prove to everybody that my husband loves me like wow you're the worst she's like

as I am like half Native American it's very important for me to make popcorn for my husband yeah and every time sometimes when my husband's gone I sit in front of this machines and just mindlessly put nickels into it. I want to see if I can make pop nickels. Supporting my brothers and sisters who may or may not have cancer on the reservations.

Shut up, Vanessa. Vanessa. I don't know. I still like Vanessa. I also like the really tough one who's like cousins with Stupid Amber from Real Housewives of New Jersey. Who's like, listen, I'm sick of everybody telling me what I'm supposed to do. I'm 30 years old. I can do what I want.

She goes and cries to her car. And then Vanessa follows her out. She's like, listen, I don't want to tell you what to do. If you want to go to the wedding and crush my spirit, my cancer spirit, then go ahead. I'm supportive of you. If you want to ruin my life by supporting someone else's wedding, then go ahead, honey. I don't have any problem with that. She's like, yes, you do.

You're being mean to me. She's like, no. It's just that you're going to rot in eternal hell for not supporting someone who once had cancer. But enjoy that. Have fun with it. I hate that shit. Oh, my goodness. And then I actually don't remember too much of the wedding.

I remember that there was a gargoyle and there was a woman in the wedding who was staring at the gargoyle like, what the fuck is this? Yeah, those gargoyles weren't gargoyles they were like they were wearing batman costumes but with freddy krueger hands and then like vanessa faces i was like what are these supposed to be yeah and then after all that i sort of like fell asleep during the wedding but i do remember that they after all this talk about the butterfly release they released the butterflies they would not leave right um well half those butterflies were damn dead first of all yeah yeah which i don't know how much luck that's what a way to go if you're a butterfly you're like i'm a beautiful creature and i've died in the service of lindia monte i've died i've had a horrible person's wedding 15th wedding how did this happen

no next week next year it's gonna be like well, I felt like last year the wedding was like a funeral on account of all the butterflies that died. So this year I wanted it to be a happy occasion. I know. I love that she keeps bringing up her dead father. All I can think of is you got married a month after your dad died. That's kind of fucking cold. Would it have been hard for you to hold off for a few months? I mean, were you pregnant?

What was the deal? Yeah, exactly. Because you seem like the asshole here yeah and i love that like her tacky friends got her a sash that said something like mrs diamante and she's like oh my god as if she didn't have like 15 of those already in her closet um what else happened on this? Yeah. I think we should get rid of Game of Crowns, personally. Are you still into it? Oh, my God. I love it.

It's the funniest show on Bravo. I tell everyone about it. This was actually the worst episode, but I still think the show is so funny. Well, here is a challenge I will throw down to our lovely listeners. I think, first of all, New York is done, right? So now we've got Housewives of Jersey, the rest of Housewives of OC. Melbourne. Melbourne, which I think they're showing episode three this week. So you need to watch all three, okay?

And then we'll have room for one more. Probably Below deck. Do you want it to be below deck? Do you want it to be this Jersey Bell show? Do you want it to be the Singles Project show? No. Because people right now are saying, watch this Singles Project thing. So we need to decide what it's going to be.

Well, so here's the thing. This is an announcement for people in the upcoming few weeks we're going to start working with a service that is sort of like kickstarter for things like podcasts and what it allows us to do is it allows us to support the podcast

it allows people to support the podcast because one thing that we have an issue with as podcasters is that we have to watch all these shows and we have to talk about them and it takes a huge amount of time and we have an issue with as podcasters is that we have to watch all these shows and we have to talk about them it takes actually like a huge amount of time and we have to like edit the podcast and it actually you know it gets it's sort of it's difficult so what we what we're gonna start to do is uh we're exploring ways to maybe have like a second episode of the podcast per week but in order for us to do that we we're going to need to actually get some support because it's just it's really like it's just not feasible for us to do two episodes as it is right now so

if we were to do a second episode we probably would cover shows like um like below deck uh or jersey bell or singles project all these we increase the content um And we're not trying to make people pay for content. We're not going to be like, okay, so I have to pay for the podcast. It's just more like we need support. And if we could get enough support, we would then be able to do everything. So obviously we're going to cover as much as we can

during the regular show, during the regular podcast. But in the coming weeks, we're exploring how to to layer in this infrastructure so that way it all works out we're not saying it's a subscriber-based podcast or anything like that it's just that like you know we're if if people are wanting us to cover more and more shows and like the you know truth be told it's just not financially possible for us because we also have to like get work so for now then, I mean, for this coming week, so we've got Real Housewives of OC, Real Housewives of New Jersey,

Game of Crowns. Melbourne. Oh, Real Housewives of Melbourne. Okay, so we have one more. Blowdeck, I think. Oh, wait, we said we were going to do four, right? Did we say four or five? I forget what we said.

I don't remember. I think I said four, but come on. You know what? Everyone just weigh in on Facebook.com forward slash Watch More Crappiness. Yeah. So we're going to naturally cover those shows. So what do you want in addition to that? Do you want Below Deck, Jersey Bell, or Singles Project?

Yes. And we'll try whatever one you guys want. You guys vote. Yeah. Yeah, that works, or Singles Project. And we'll try whatever one you guys want. You guys vote. Yeah. Yeah, that works, right? Yeah. Democracy! Exactly.

Okay, cool. And then we'll let you know a little bit more next week what we're doing with that other stuff. We're not sure yet. We're just dipping our toes in. Yeah, maybe a few weeks down the line. But we'll keep everyone up to date and be totally transparent about it we're not trying to be shifty or anything so yeah and i'll be better this week about sitting down and taking notes about the shows this was like an incredibly depressing

week that robin williams thing really made me sad i know it's terrible very terrible i'm lorna everything but yeah robin williams it was a big shame maybe we should dedicate this podcast because he was so funny let's spend the next 20 minutes talking about how robin williams it was a big shame maybe we should dedicate this podcast because he was so funny let's spend the next 20 minutes talking about how robin williams makes us feel i know oh and by the way well by the time we get up we start doing the funding big brother will probably be over but if big brother still happening we'll probably talk about big brother too well and then there's survivor and survivor There's other stuff we watch other than Bravo, believe it or not. One thing, though, before we get off, I wanted to ask you about Top Chef Duels. Have you watched?

I haven't. Have you? No, but someone on our Facebook said it's thirsty. Yeah, it sounds thirsty. I mean, I don't get the point of it. I just don't. And we're oversaturated with these sort of shows, like duel shows. I don't get the point of it. I just don't. And we're oversaturated with these sort of shows, like dual shows. I don't care. Yeah.

Bring back Just Desserts. I think they are smart at keeping Top Chef just to one season a year, though. I think they should bring back Masters and bring back Just Desserts, and then we're set. I don't think we need to eat duals. I did love Desserts, though. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Remember when we were on Desserts?

Yeah. That was fun. I would like to go again one day where they don't make us eat nasty things. I know. Ronnie and I were extras on Top Chef Just Desserts, and of course we were the day that they made crazy desserts that had mashed potatoes. Yeah, they're like, here's a baked beans pie.

And one of the Beastie Boys was there. I love Just Desserts. I think they just had a bad second season because they cast too many straight guys that they needed to be gayer i love the second season too i loved both of them wait were there three there were two and i think honestly i like top chef masters i think it's like a pleasant cooking competition that's boring i hate like i hate like life after top chef i don't like revisiting the Top Chef people once they're gone.

Oh, yeah. They need to stay gone. If it's an all-star season, that's fine. But once they're gone, I don't care about their lives necessarily. Yeah, me neither. They're like, I did a Doritos commercial. Wow, that's super riveting television. Yeah.

Thanks for coming back, babe. Yeah, exactly. Okay, cool. So that finishes us up today. So you guys go on Facebook.com slash Watch What Crappens and tell us what you want us to cover next week and we'll do it. Yeah. You can find Ben at B-SideBlog.com or at B-SideBlog on Twitter, Instagram, Vine, Pinterest, and Facebook. Instagram, Vine, Pinterest, and Facebook.

You can find me, Ronnie Karam, at Ronnie Karam on Twitter, at Ronnie Karam on Instagram. My website is TrashTalkTV.com with a lot of funny recaps. And come watch my Big Brother in Two Minutes videos every Friday on my YouTube channel, YouTube.com slash TrashTalkT-E-E-V-E-E. Thanks, everybody. Bye. Bye. Bye.

V E E. Thanks everybody. Bye. Bye. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the sideshow network have launched a new YouTube channel called wait for it. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts,

Todd glass, Liza slicing, slicing, driving friends with it for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there. interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleichinger. Schleichinger, I've been friends with her for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there, and I still have a hard time with the last name, Liza. Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com slash waitfortcomedy.

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