Watch What Crappens - #144: Gina Wins Melbourne
Episode Date: September 18, 2014This week on "Watch What Crappens," Ronnie Karam (trashtalktv.com) and Ben Mandelker (bsideblog.com) declare Gina the winner of "Real Housewives of Melbourne," especially after the other wome...n continue to rally against her. Ben and Ronnie once again bust out their Australian accents for another lively discussion of the show. Then it's on to "Real Housewives of New Jersey" and "Below Deck." Along the way, there's random gossip and talk of "The Singles Project." By the way, vote for us as "Best Podcast" here: http://readerschoice.laweekly.com/ And support our show by donating here: http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens Wait! There's more: And remember to like us on Facebook: http://facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens And here's some other stuff: Our Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/watch-what-crappens On iTunes: https://bit.ly/crappens Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens Ronnie on the Web: http://www.trashtalktv.com Ronnie on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/trashtalkteevee Ronnie on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/trashtalktv Ben on the Web: http://www.bsideblog.com Ben on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/bsideblog Ben on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/bsideblog See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
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The code, again, is 199WWC. The 199 stands for $1.99.
And the WWC stands for Watch What Crappens? You're in person. I know. I can see your face. I can see your face, too. It's so awkward. I'm usually in my underwear.
My balls are cupped in one hand, and I've got, like, a lovely bottle of wine in the other.
Well, now you have no balls in your hand and a glass of water, so it's kind of like a lose-lose
situation for you.
I know.
But you're here, so yay.
I won.
I just want to, like, stroke your cute little face right now.
Yeah.
It was good that I had to come see you today because I actually took a shower,
I shaved,
I groomed.
Nice.
All parts of me are trimmed
because you never know
what could happen
on the way over here.
Nothing did,
but I would have
been prepared.
But wait,
hold on one second.
I'm getting a phone call.
For real?
I don't know.
Do I have to answer it?
No,
I won't answer it.
Is it Andy Cohen?
Then you're not answering.
I'm just,
I'm in the process,
I'm in the process of,
of looking for a job, so I'm always, like, wary of phone
calls coming in to me.
They can wait for Bravo.
Yeah.
Anyway, I'm at B-Side Blog, b-sideblog.com, and at B-Side Blog on Twitter, and on Instagram,
and on Facebook and everywhere else.
Faithbook.
Faithbook.
Bravo Podcast.
And Ronnie, you are at?
At TrashTalkTV.com.
We've got a lot of really funny recappers right now recapping shows.
Real Housewives of New Jersey and Below Deck right now are especially funny there.
Yeah.
You can find me on Twitter at Trash Talk TV.
Trash Tweet TV.
Trash Talk TV on Instagram and Tumblr.
And where else?
Ronnie Karam everywhere else, if you want my personal BS.
And of course, if you're listening to this podcast, you should come over to our Facebook page on Facebook.
Yeah, facebook.com slash watchwhatcrappens or on Twitter at whatcrappens.
But Facebook is a place to go because we are cracking up with you guys.
You guys have been posting there a lot lately.
We get all of our gossip from there.
Yeah.
Tons and tons of stuff.
And actually, one thing that we're very excited to talk about.
There are two things, actually.
Two plugs.
Two plugs.
A little bit of housekeeping here.
First thing, we're super, super excited about this.
Watch What Crappens has been nominated by LA Weekly for Best Podcast.
Yeah, and that's not really a big deal anywhere but LA.
But it's a big deal in LA.
Go vote for it.
It's LA Weekly's 2014 Reader's Choice Contest.
You can Google it or just come find it on our Facebook page.
And just go vote, please.
It would be so lovely to win something.
Yeah, this would, like, change our lives. Yeah, our whole lives.
So it's readerschoice.laweekly.com Go there
and vote for whatever else you want to,
but definitely vote for Watch What Crappens
for Best Podcast. Actually, can I tell you something?
One of the other nominees lives in
this building. Who is it?
I'm not going to say because one time I
mentioned it and he sent me a message on Twitter,
like a direct message being like, hey, can you not say where I live?
I was like, so anyway, it's kind of funny.
An in-building competition.
What's his potty?
His potty about?
What's his potty cast?
Well, if I tell you what his podcast is about, then you'll know who it is.
That would be a good podcast, I think, if it was like a potty cast.
A potty cast.
Because every morning I sit there with my phone on the toilet anyway.
You might as well make it a
podcast yeah like today Syria did something horrible today Syria decided to stop teaching
math just to Syrian children the thing let's talk about the things that happen on my toilet the
things I look at on my iPhone it's usually like um Instagram and then like let me refresh my
Instagram in case there's another photo that came up in the past 10 seconds. Let me
check that again. Now let me stalk some people through
Instagram. That's basically it. You know, I used to think
like if there was one human quality
that I could change, it would be pooping
because I've just never understood that.
Why would God make us,
or whoever, whatever you believe in, okay?
Why would we be made like having
to poop? It's just so gross. And then I was like,
well, when else did people read the Bible back in the old days? Yeah, okay why would we be made like having to poop it's just so gross and then i was like well
when else did people read the bible back on the old days yeah exactly it's like bible time poop
it's like god's way of saying it's where we educate ourselves yeah yay poop um so the other
big plug that we have is that we have started up with this service called patreon you go to
patreon.com you can see what they're all about um We did this because it's a way to get a little bit of help for our podcast.
Obviously, Ronnie and I, we do this podcast once a week.
We really, really, really enjoy it.
And we would do more, except it takes time to do this, to watch the shows, to record,
to publish the podcast and everything.
So basically, what this site does is it's kind of like
kickstarter but a little different it lets people who listen to shows whether they're podcasts or
they like or youtube channels whatever allows people to sort of support the content creators
that they like um so you can you can give a donation, like a micro-donation as they say, and it helps us.
A little bit goes a long way for us.
Yeah, basically we didn't want to start a subscription podcast where everything was paid.
So we're going to keep the podcast completely free.
But this has different ways that you could subscribe to extra features.
We'll be doing a bonus after show every week where we just talk crap about gossip and news and other TV shows.
We'll do like a monthly party on Google Hangouts where you guys can come drink with us and we all talk together.
We could do viewing parties.
There's like a lot of really cool things that we're going to start rolling out that are only going to be part of the subscription service.
But all of this regular podcast stuff is going to stay totally free.
And we understand that people are poor.
So if you're poor, don't do it.
We don't care.
And if you're not, then do it.
And if you're, there's different levels.
You could do $1 an episode.
You can do, you know, a million dollars an episode.
Like whatever you feel most comfortable with.
But, yeah, exactly.
And it's per episode.
And if you're concerned, if you're saying to yourself, well, what happens if you put out like,
oh, wait, hold on. Don't touch that because the cable is sensitive sorry if you're fiddling i know i'll give you some here you can here's a napkin to fiddle okay i'll fiddle um so if you're
concerned like well if i pledge a dollar per episode and you guys do 30 episodes per month
one one month then i'm out of 30 don't worry on the site you can say i only want to do a max of
like five dollars per month or something like that
so you will be protected in case
we go crazy yeah
okay so that's basically it so if you guys want
to support the podcast further and get
a lot more content that's only going to be
available there go to patreon slash
patreon.com slash watch what
crap means and on top of that I just want to
add to that if we wind up getting
enough donations per episode,
we will actually go up to two Watch What Crappens episodes per week.
Yes.
And if we get even more than three and even more, up to four.
Four episodes per week, like a real radio show.
And all those details are on our Patreon site.
Yeah, so go check that out.
Okay, so now let's get to the regular show.
Yes!
That was a lot of plugging.
I know, so many plugs.
What was even on this week?
Okay, the other day,
I watched the Housewives of Melbourne.
Oh yeah, Housewives of Melbourne.
And I tried to repeat all the lines.
A little friendly advice for Gina.
A little friendly advice for you, Ronnie.
What kind of...
I don't want to hear it, Dolly.
I don't want to hear it, Dolly.
Just keep looking at me
then
it's getting better right
yeah
it's getting much better
yeah
because I was repeating
every line as they said it
this week
oh that's good
that'll help
yeah
I do that too but
so this week was
what happened this week
on this stupid show
well a lot of things
happened this week
first of all
first of all
first of all
a little friendly advice
first of all a little friendly advice.
A little friendly advice from me. I have to take more notes on this show so I remember what Junior says.
Junior.
Lydia.
Let's see.
I mean, the big thing that happened
was that Chica had a
big party for the
Legionnaire's disease.
Legionnaire's disease.
Was it for what? It was for the Legionnaires disease. Legionnaires disease. Was it for, what?
I don't know.
It was for the big,
wasn't it called like a Legionnaires party?
Oh, no, it was like
the Legionnaires party.
I just spit, sorry.
The Legionnaires party.
No, it was a spring party.
It was to showcase all their spring food.
I think it was called the Legionnaires party.
I was like, isn't that the disease that was in Hugh Hefner's pool that got all those strippers sick?
They're like, we're going to have the AIDS party.
Yeah, they're like, yeah, AIDS.
It stands for Annie in the Sink.
Annie in the Sink Party.
Yeah, that's an expression that means let's have fun.
Annie in the Sink.
It's like Waltz and Matilda. Yeah, it's a gift bag. It's full of awkward. Yeah, Annie in the have fun. Annie in the sink. It's like Waltz and Matilda.
Yeah.
Annie in the sink.
It's a little awkward.
Yeah.
Annie in the sink.
Annie in the sink.
Annie in the sink.
So that happened.
And the big thing was that, you know, all the girls are still mad at Gina because.
For all that nothing she did.
Yeah.
Oh, and hey, by the way, Derek Hazleton, and you're standing up for everybody against Gina.
Gina has done nothing.
You will never convince me that Gina's done anything.
And you know I'll judge a bitch.
Yeah.
I have no problem, like, saying who did what.
No, she didn't do anything.
I will say it was bad that she made people wait for so long.
That's bad.
If you show up and make people wait an hour to play tennis, I get that.
But why don't they just start playing tennis, by the way?
Yeah, if they had enough people, what, were they going to play triples? Yeah, exactly. I mean, they had plenty of people to play tennis. I get that. But why don't they just start playing tennis by the way? Yeah, they had enough people.
What were they going
to play, triples?
Yeah, exactly.
They had plenty of people
to play tennis.
Yeah, she could get changed
and everything.
She should not have
worn that shit
on the tennis court
but that was up to Andrea
to give a little friendly advice
and say,
Gina,
you can't wear that.
It's close to $40,000.
It's close to $40,000.
It's expensive, Gina.
You know what she makes me
look like?
Mr. Monopoly
because I have money
to buy a tennis court but she doesn't have money to buy a tennis court. But she doesn't have money
to buy a tennis court. If I said
you can pass go, Gina, she would have ruined
the board with those shoes. I would have had to
buy an entire new Monopoly board.
You know what she reminds me of?
Boardwalk. Because she walks on boards.
And boardwalk is a property
on Monopoly. Atlantic City never
would have been successful with those shoes scraping
it all up in the beginning. People would have been like, I'm not
going to that casino. The boardwalk's all
scraped up from those shoes. You know what she
should do? She should buy a hotel
on Mediterranean Avenue because she's from Italy.
She's Mediterranean.
That's what she should do.
She should call it Goop because that's all
she's got on her face.
Her name should be Goop. Hey, Gina,
your name should be Goop. Hey, Gina, your name should be Goop.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
You know what her favourite card is?
Her favourite card is Chance Card
because every time you come,
you always risk the chance that you'll be waiting.
You know what I'm going to get Gina for her birthday?
Some Windex so she can clean up the make-up
that she left all over my bathroom.
How about Gina takes a ride on Reading Railroads?
That way she can read the time of the invitation.
That's actually way too advanced for an Andrea.
She actually had another one this week.
Andrea's too stupid.
She made another joke this week,
and I'm so mad I didn't write it down
because it was just exactly what we were saying.
I wish...
See, Gina's like a pregnant girl's period late
that's too advanced that actually has like a setup and like it would be like gina's gina
would be like a pregnant girl's period she's uh she's she's bloody because she just got into an
accident hi gina you know what you look like? Someone who walks outside. Hey Gina, you need a hat? Because you've got hair on your head.
She puts your hair in the hat.
Hey Gina, you know I can look right through you, you know why?
Because you're standing outside and there's a window here.
Hey Gina, hey Gina, hey Gina, you're dressed like a girl.
That's because you're a girl. Gina.
So you know what I said to Gina?
I said, Gina, nice walking on your legs.
What are you, a human being?
Gina, looks like you got out of bed this morning.
Hey, Gina, it looks like you're alive.
What do you think you are, an alive person?
Hey, Gina, I saw you put hairspray on your hair. Hey, Gina, I heard you put hairspray on your hair.
Hey, Gina, I heard you put hairspray on your hair.
What'd you do, spray your hair?
That woman is such a C-word.
I love, my favorite part of the episode was,
okay, I don't know how much we go into this show.
Like, is anybody even watching this show?
I think so, it's okay.
So there's a party, and of course everybody's like,
is Gina gonna come? And she comes, and blah, blah, blah blah blah so the doctor husband that stupid bitch's doctor husband is like oh
how you doing jana and she's like well you know all right he's like how was the trip to the you
know cuckoo or you know everywhere they go there's name like cuckoo had you enjoy cuckoo on the poop
poop she's like it was oh it was great wallaby beach yeah he's like
how was the weather and she's like well the weather was chilly and he's like really the
weather was chilly she's like yeah you know with the girls the weather was pretty chilly there
there was a hurricane coming something like that and he's like what i'm like he didn't get it you
know actually my recording cut off at that point like i, I didn't... Okay, so you didn't see it. So this is the best part of the show because Andrea is obviously telling her husband she's doing this show to promote their businesses, right?
So he doesn't know anything but that, obviously.
We now know after watching the show.
So she's not one of the wives who gets the husbands involved.
All the other wives tell their husbands everything.
The husbands are totally involved in it.
This one, the husband didn't know anything.
tell their husbands everything.
The husbands are totally involved in it.
This one, the husband didn't know anything.
So when Gina was over talking to the husband,
Andrea started freaking out because she was like,
oh my God, he's going to know I'm being a bitch on TV, right?
So she goes over after Gina walks away
and she is so awkward.
She's trying to dance with him,
but she can't dance.
You know, she looks like death becomes her.
You have a friendly voice.
If you want to dance
you gotta dance like this
one foot forward
and then don't move
the rest of your body
yeah pretty much
like she can't move
at all
and she's like
oh
and he's like
well what's wrong with her
and she's like
oh you know
I don't want to bother you
with all this stuff
you know
this is
you've got big
important things
to deal with
it's not this stuff
and I was like
you are in so much trouble
Andrea and that's probably why she's not back this. And I was like, you are in so much trouble, Andrea. And that's probably why
she's not back this year, because she made her husband
look like a damn fool on national TV.
Bye, bitch. Bye, bitch.
Yeah, exactly.
I wonder if people in Australia
hate Andrea as much as we do, because
the way it is right now is
all those women think that they're in the right.
Think that by getting up on Gina,
by Gina... Isn't that every Housewives show? They never know which one is in the right. And think that by getting up on Gina, by Gina... Isn't that every Housewives show?
They never know which one is in the right.
Like, they have no idea, and they're always picking the wrong side.
I mean, last year when they all jumped on Brandi Glanville's side,
I mean, how can you be that out of touch?
You know?
No, absolutely.
Chica was smart.
Chica stayed out of it for the most part.
And even the psychic has kind of stayed out of it, but she's stupid, you know?
Yeah.
But Lydia...
Well, Chica was like, I think maybe it's gone a bit too far.
Yeah, I think it's gone too far.
Can we just move on?
Yeah.
Can we move on?
Let's just say, you know, I'm sorry and hug and it's done.
And they're like, oh, Chica's saying that.
Oh, Chica.
No, let's all turn on Chica.
Oh, that's what the joke was.
Andrew goes, you know what I like to call Chica saying that. Oh, Chica. Now let's all turn on Chica. Oh, that's what the joke was. Andrea goes, you know what I like to
call Chica? Switzerland.
That's what she said. That was her joke.
She goes, I like to call us Switzerland.
Did you laugh?
Like there are these huge sides
to take. I mean, what is the
fight? Gina was late. Okay.
Sorry. Okay? Sorry.
She sent a threatening email oh did you read about
all of that no what was craziness oh my god well first of all we're terrible because we didn't even
read the open letter that was we should probably read it on air where is it it's posted right here
on our facebook page see we're not just talking crap we are actually on this facebook page looking
at what you guys have been posting but But there was an open letter posted to...
Oh, my God.
This Brooks stuff we have to talk about, too.
Oh, yeah.
I'm behind a little bit on some...
Open letter to Gina.
Hold on.
Let's keep looking for it.
Someone had written this open letter.
And it was obviously one of the castmates just telling Gina off, we have to read this.
But anyway, they explained this...
Oh, my God, you guys are posting
some delicious pictures of half-naked men
on our page. This is really, really
good. God, there's a lot on our page this week.
Yeah, everyone went crazy. Someone even posted
actually a vintage video of the
two of us doing Housewife Hoedown.
Oh my god, that's mortifying. Can we erase those
off the internet? No, no, they're great.
I'm a big fan of erasing
my embarrassing things on the internet. So at the moment, we're... Oh my god, no, they're great. I'm a big fan of erasing my embarrassing things
on the internet.
So at the moment,
we're currently...
Oh my God,
Brandy and Kim fighting.
There's actually so much content
and everyone should come
to our Facebook page.
Anyway, we should press stop
and go over this later.
But anyway,
one of the main things
was that the email
where they're saying
she's threatening legal action
was not her threatening
legal action.
It's that she's a lawyer
and someone was suing her
and she had a, someone had like a
gag order against her for
one of her cases. So she's saying
listen darlings, don't bring
up this case on TV because there's a gag
order. Right. Is all she's saying.
She was not threatening them with anything
and they were taking that and saying oh she
sent a legal letter around. It's just
I mean it's just like so low, you know?
I know, but they're stupid.
It's funny how all these shows
actually follow the same pattern.
These women all, to a T,
they all gang up on someone,
whether it's in Melbourne or OC or Beverly Hills.
Oh, did you find it?
Um, no.
That's Apollo.
That's Apollo running away from jail.
That's okay.
We don't... It's okay, I'm from jail that's okay we we don't it's okay
i'm listening to you well you don't look at it i i can't help but look at you scrolling well the
point is this um so gina is our hero i'm trying to remember what else happened in the episode there
was janet let's see janet i can't tell what's going on janet janet was always one of my favorites
but she's i think janet just succumbed to the pressure of all the other girls yeah every other girl's bitching about gina and she was like well i want to be friends with them and she's I think Janet just succumbed to the pressure of all the other girls because every other girl
was bitching about Gina
and she was like
well I want to be
friends with them
and she's not friends
with them
because they were off
like going out of town
and doing all this
fun stuff
and she was just
stuck in her apartment
talking about her
lame gay rent-a-date
or whatever that she had
well I
it's so funny
because when the show
began the season premiere
I think there was
there was a scene
where Lydia
and Andrea and Gina
all got together and had lunch in like a dark room.
And they were all saying how much they adore each other.
And I was like, nope, nope, this is going to shit.
Any real housewives or housewives like rip off,
like ladies of London, whatever, whoever,
the three people are in that first step.
There's always three people that get together for lunch or whatever.
And they say, I just adore so and so
like I just feel like
she's just great
I've known her forever
and you know
I can tell we're gonna be friends
for a long time
it means that by the end
of the season
they hate each other
and what's up with
what's up with
the dumb one
what's the dumb
the dumb whore
who signed a contract
with her husband
and said she'd fuck him
whenever he wanted.
That was so disgusting.
Was that on Melbourne?
Melbourne?
Yes.
Which one?
The one who gets,
she flies in a helicopter
to get a special cheese.
Yeah, that's Lydia.
Some people go to the store.
We go to the helicopter.
She's like,
I don't,
I only like,
she's like,
the only thing I don't like
to share is my husband.
Oh, her gross old
saggy bald husband. Yeah. I love when she told the cheese lady, she's like, don't like to share is my husband. Her gross old saggy bald husband.
I love when she told the cheese lady,
she's like, don't talk to my husband like that.
But anyway, her,
she,
Chica was like, haven't you
all been friends for a long time? She's like,
no. No, it's only been eight years.
She said, well, didn't you say you've been friends for eight years?
And she's like, no.
I don't know
whether any of that
happened
it's like okay
now you're not
because you're the
one who said you were
yeah that was
ridiculous to me
I'm like
these women are
just vicious
it's actually crazy
how these shows
tear down
they're vicious
over nothing
like some of these
shows like they
have fun fights
like you can
understand what
they're about
they're legitimately
pissed over
semi-legitimate
things, but what am I talking about?
What was the initial fight? I've really been brainwashed
if I think that Real Housewives are legit
fights. When Andrea first
got mad at Gina and was giving her some friendly
advice, what was that friendly advice?
She says, sometimes you say things in a brash...
Oh, you know what it was? You're a barrister. In real
life, you're a barrister, but at dinner, you're not
a barrister. You're just a person. And Gina's like, I've just been sitting here. Gina's life, you're a barrister. But at dinner, you're not a barrister. You're just a person.
And Gina's like, I've just been sitting here.
Gina's like, I'm just sitting here.
No, I can't take it, these ladies.
I think what happened was this.
It started with the psychic.
The psychic did a reading.
And then Lydia told Gina something like,
I think Gina told Lydia, I deal deal in facts i don't deal with
spirits whatever and then i think lydia told the psychic what gina said or vice versa the psychic
told lydia something but lydia gossiped and then gina and the psychic had a fight right or they had
a confrontation at a party but it was fine they squashed it right but then andrew was andrew was
still mad she didn't like the way that gina spoke to the psychic i think and so that's why andrew's like you have to realize a little bit of friendly advice
sometimes you're a bit brash and andrea wasn't even in that there was she wasn't even involved
with any of that she just got into it because lydia had been talking her head because lydia
finally got mad because gina was calling her a liar over and over yeah so then they were like
oh look at gina over there being confrontational
at a party.
And it's just Gina going like,
hello,
I'm not drinking.
What a lovely party.
And they're like,
oh, shit, what a bitch.
Well, the other thing is that
Lydia was upset
because Lydia had gossiped
and she basically was caught
gossiping because Gina
went and confronted
the psychic.
So then Lydia looks bad
so she drinks and she drags
and Gina says she doesn't
believe a word you say
and it's all crazy and you're talking to demons she's like that's my that's how i make my living first
of all it is not how you make your living i'm not seeing you do one psychic reading this whole time
you're stupid i know although i am really starting to like that girl she's so crazy she is i mean
like when they went to the distillery to check out their their alcohol the the bottle and alcohol
and the alcohol,
and the guy was saying,
yeah, it's basically going to cost like $250,000.
She's like, well, you know, I'm a professional psychic.
I think you should know that.
It's like, oh, okay, great.
Like what?
Like you talk to the ghosts of the bottles that are unmade, you know?
Yeah, he doesn't care.
She's like, I need you to be positive.
And he's like, no, I'm just being honest.
And she's like, well, that's not what I need.
I love that girl, though, because I started talking like her i do things like i'm gorgeous look at me i'm just gorgeous i mean look at my body
it's amazing look how this shirt looks on me look at this dress i'm gorgeous look at my breasts
shine shine shine shine shine shine shine of course i'm happy i'm gorgeous my husband's
gorgeous we're rich he's a rock star silver chair silver chair by the way
yesterday
I kid you not
I had breakfast
with someone
who wore a silver chair shirt
and I was gonna be like
I was like
oh real housewives of Melbourne
but I was like
oh he's straight
he has no idea
what I'll be talking about
yeah he actually
like really likes the music
I think it was like
a vintage something
silver chair
silver chair
silver chair vodka
what are they calling it
they're calling it
like the Moscati
or something like that which I'm like you know it sounds like Moscato so people can get confused they calling it? They're calling it the Moscati or something like that,
which I'm like, you know it sounds like Moscato,
so people can get confused.
They're thinking they're getting a bottle of Moscato.
I don't know. It doesn't matter.
The point is this,
that everything has spiraled out of control
because of that initial fight with the psychic.
Yeah, that's the big fight of the year.
Because Andrea then was like,
let me give you a little bit of friendly advice,
and then Gina went into the bathroom
and was like, what a cunt.
What a cunt.
That was hilarious.
She's like, I'm going to tell Lydia you're a cunt.
Why are you repeating everything I'm saying?
And then, of course, Jan is like, oh, yes, darling.
You know what she said about you, that you're a cunt.
Oh, I'm rather cranky.
I'm rather cranky about this.
I had to get this off my chest.
But, darling, you did say that in the bathroom. Gina's like, no, I didn't. And Jan's like, oh, you cranky. I'm rather cranky about this. I have to get this off my chest. But darling, you did say that in the bathroom.
Gina's like, no, I didn't.
And Jan's like, oh, you're right.
Never mind.
I feel so much better now.
I got it off my chest.
I love that Gina just denies.
Because like, I don't think that she should have to be honest about calling someone a
cunt in the bathroom.
I mean, if you're not allowed to call someone a cunt in the bathroom, where are you allowed
to do it?
I mean, isn't that the point of going to the bathroom? There's got to be some place where allowed to call someone a cunt in the bathroom, where are you allowed to do it? I mean, isn't that the point of going to the bathroom?
There's got to be some place where you can call someone a cunt.
By the way, donate to our page.
Yeah, exactly.
All you ladies out there.
Well, but I mean, I'm speaking for women.
Like, if you have shit to talk about another woman, you're going to do it in the bathroom, right?
I mean, also they say...
Especially if you've just been attacked.
If you've just been attacked about all this ridiculous stuff.
Of course you can go to the bathroom and be like, what the fuck?
Be like, yeah, Lydia's going to do a...
What's her book going to be about?
Like, vaginas?
Like, whatever, you know?
Yeah, and it was just a stupid thing to say.
Like, oh, it's a book about vaginas.
And then they repeat it like,
oh, she said your book is going to be about vaginas.
And she's like, why would it be about vaginas?
Who said that?
It's bad for my reputation,
because now people are going to be waiting for a book about vaginas. And I'm not writing a book about vaginas. I don't know anything about vaginas? Who said that? It's bad for my reputation because now people are going to be waiting
for a book about vaginas.
And I'm not writing a book about vaginas.
I don't know anything about vaginas.
She's ruined it for me.
You know, I need to check my Wikipedia page.
What if it's filled with stories
about me telling things about vaginas?
You know, I don't do that.
You know, it's ruined my life as an author.
Like, oh my God, calm down.
You should be allowed to talk shit
about people in bathrooms.
And on podcasts.
On the phones.
And on podcasts.
Yeah, on the podcast it doesn't count.
Yeah.
Alright, should we move on to Tracy?
If I ever saw any of those women except for Andrea, I would be lovely to them.
Even Janet, who I think is a stupid whore at this point.
I still like Janet.
You're like 90, okay?
Why don't you stop acting 13?
Stop it.
Even the stuff like her son was in some horrible accident and he's being burned and I'm like, but she's just silly. You're like 90, okay? Why don't you stop acting 13? Stop it. Even the stuff like
her son was in some horrible accident
and he's being burned
and I'm like, you're a bitch.
That's terrible.
And she tries to make some point
that's supposed to resonate.
She's like, isn't it funny
how I've used plastic surgery
to make my, for beauty
and now my son is using it
to make him better.
I'm like, what is, no.
That is not ironic or,
like, I feel terrible for your son. no, that is not ironic or, like,
like,
I feel terrible for your son.
Like,
why are you trying to,
like,
If he could look,
uh,
half as good as you,
like,
that's not really a goalpost.
Yeah.
To look scary.
Her face actually does look really good.
But that's the creepy,
that's,
she's actually cute.
She's just,
I'm just mad at her for turning.
On Gina.
Yeah,
I don't like that.
Yeah,
I don't like it either.
Gina,
Gina just seems super fucking cool, you know?
Yeah, I like Gina.
She has a job, which is so weird.
She dresses crazy.
She wears a ton of makeup.
She's not just a job.
She's like a lawyer.
She has to use her brain in her job.
I just like that she just, she shows up and she's like, whatever, and she has a good time
and people just get all over her.
And when they're like, you called my book a vagina, she's like, no, I didn't.
I love that.
I think that's so funny.
It's like, I don't care. Like, what, am I going to fight with you about that? Yeah, no I didn't. I love that. I think that's so funny. It's like, I don't care. Like, what am I gonna
fight with you about that? Yeah, no,
I mean, she's won the season already.
Yeah, she won. She won.
So let's go on to
Real Housewives of New Jersey.
Jerz. Okay.
I do not need anything up people's
butts. I don't need anyone fucking their
moms. I don't need any
more almost cancer. This show is so bad. I don't need anyone fucking their moms. I don't need any more almost cancer.
This show is so bad.
This show is disgusting. It's like medical procedures
of gross old men with waxed eyebrows
and waxed bodies. I don't
need it. Get your fingers
out of Gino's butt or whatever that guy's
name is. What's that? Reno. Reno.
Get your fingers out of Reno's butt. I don't
want to see it. I know. He's like,
oh, I gotta get my colon cleaned.
Got to get checked out.
They're going to turn me over.
All right.
All right.
They said your colon was beautiful.
Honey, guess what I'm going to do?
I'm going to take a straw and put some colada in it and squirt it up your butt.
I don't know what that means.
It's so clean, honey.
Oh, your colon.
I'm going to call Teresa.
I'm going to call Teresa and invite her to the colonoscopy.
Why are we watching a colonoscopy?
It's of one of the husbands, first of all.
It's not even a real housewife.
I know.
If that's your storyline, that you're following your husband with cameras to get his colonoscopy,
it is time to just quit.
What are you even doing on this show?
It's your first year.
You should be out there starting fights with the main cast members.
Call Dina fat. I mean, come on. Make an effort.
Yeah, I mean, I think they were
trying to parallel it with...
I just called her cancer.
Almost. What's her face?
Amber. Amber.
We should just start calling cancer Amber.
She basically, like...
She's like, I got a call from the doctor.
I got a call from the doctor and he's like...
He doesn't know. He doesn't know. It's inconclusive. And they're like, well, she's like, I got a call from the doctor. I got a call from the doctor and he's like, he said he doesn't know. He doesn't
know. It's inconclusive.
They're like, well, it's probably fine. She's like,
I don't know. I can't go down this path again.
I can't do it.
It's like, I get tested for cancer
every month.
And you just never know what's gonna
come back in those tests. I can't go
down this road again because
I have cancer again. It's like, she's not even crying she's at the doctor every month and it's a test and she has
no reason to think she has cancer she's so stupid and while she's doing it she's wearing like okay
she's wearing this miss america dress that's so tight around her tits like her tits are hanging
out of this dress and every time she moves it's moving each one of her tits so her tits. Like, her tits are hanging out of this dress, and every time she moves, it's moving each one of her tits.
So her tits are like,
her, like, you know,
saline sacs are, like,
bouncing up and down
while she's, like, fake crying
about possibly maybe having cancer.
And her face is so tanned,
it's, like, brown,
but her scalp is, like, bright white.
Yes.
I mean, the woman is a disgusting, phony mess.
Get her the hell off my TV. I can't with her.
The way the show started
it was like Ash Wednesday
and she's in there
in the church
for Ash Wednesday
and she's like,
oh, I can't help
but think about Teresa.
I have to call her.
I have to find out
if she's okay.
In the middle of your
Ash Wednesday thing,
that seems a little crazy.
I mean, churches,
even churches
are camera wars now.
What church lets people in,
puts cameras right in front of them
during an Ash Wednesday service?
That is so disrespectful and gross.
And I'm not a religious person,
but that is disgusting.
And they're talking through church.
And then they're sitting there
talking with those stupid crucifixes on.
Like, this is all real.
And then she's like, I gotta go call
Teresa. Like right now. What, that woman
you met one time? Exactly.
And she's like, well I just know that when I had the cancer
like it was such a dark place
you know, it really meant a lot for
people to reach out to me. It's like, this has
nothing to do with your cancer. Yeah.
She said it multiple times. Like, I know what Teresa's
going through because cancer. Yeah. What? That doesn times. Like, I know what Teresa's going through because cancer.
Yeah.
What?
That doesn't even make any sense.
And Teresa's one of the dumbest people on the planet.
And even she can see right through that.
Yeah.
She's like, too many questions.
Too many questions.
But I like that Teresa was like, yeah, I don't want to talk about it.
If I want to talk about it with you, I'll talk about it.
But don't ask me about it again.
Yeah.
You know, kind of talked her down. But what the hell? Oh, I'll talk about it, but don't ask me about it again. Yeah. You know, and kind of talked her down, but
what the hell, man? Oh, I know. But Teresa's
also, she had her dumb moment, too, because
she goes and tells
Dina about this rumor that
Reno
had sex with Santa, and
Teresa's like,
she's like, so
Victoria says this story
to me, but, like, I don't want to be part of the gossip. I, but, like, I don't want to be part of the gossip.
I don't, like, I don't want to be part of the gossip.
I don't, you know, like, let other people ask those questions.
Let other people spread that gossip.
I'm like, what do you think you're doing right now?
You are, like, voluntarily bringing this up to Dan.
You just did it.
And, of course, Dina brings it up at, like, a dinner party or something.
Yeah, it's going to come up, though, because they're all going to Florida.
Yeah.
Oh, it's going to be good.
I know.
I mean, as good as the show can be
because right now,
I don't know why I'm watching it.
You know what's sad?
I had a dream last night
where it involved Jacqueline and Caroline
and I'm really sad that they got into my subconscious.
Oh, man.
That I'm dreaming about these two idiots.
Well, but they showed Jacqueline in the preview
so she's going to be coming back.
Ugh!
And it's like Jacqueline's reaction to watching the TV while Teresa's being indicted or whatever it is.
Yeah.
Ugh, I can't with Jacqueline.
Like, that's who you're bringing back?
She's pathetic.
No, you're not going to save this show.
Why not Danielle Staub?
Why not Danielle Staub?
Just cut this show off.
I mean, it's ridiculous.
These shows are usually enjoyable,
but right now, I mean,
I was so excited about Dina coming back.
She doesn't bother to even try to do anything,
and she's so offensive.
Like, she doesn't even understand.
First of all, have you seen that wedding show
that she was on on VH1?
It's amazing.
It's on YouTube,
and I only saw a little part of it
because my friend was talking about it.
But it's like my big, fat,
fabulous wedding or something.
And it's her wedding to Tommy that cost
over a million dollars. And she's like,
Tommy, but I want a bigger cake
and I want 50,000
people. Like, she's a
total lunatic, raving
bimbo, moron, horrible
person. And to see
her acting like this now is just hilarious.
Because he was cheating on her then.
Tommy was talking about it. He was like,
well, you know, I've been a bad boy. And she's like,
yeah, he's been a bad boy, but I forgave
him. Because he's rich. Right.
And she wants her TV wedding. Yes.
And she's still doing the same thing now.
It's like the same exact thing. No respect for her.
Get her off. I mean, at least if she was
entertaining. But she's so offensive because she's got this little gay friend or whatever.
Yeah.
And he's moving.
And the way that she was talking about him, that she doesn't even realize how gross she's being.
She's like, you know, maybe I relied on him too much when I was going through things with Jacqueline and Caroline.
But, you know, he's a good little soldier.
And I'm sad to see him go.
I mean, you call them a soldier. And then in the car to her daughter, she's like, don't
worry, honey, we'll find you another brother.
Like, gross.
I feel so bad for Lexi.
I feel like Lexi's gonna have some real developmental issues, because, like, I feel like her mom
is fostering...
Whatever, she has a trust fund, I don't care.
Well, she's, I feel like she's fostering, like, a real sort of neediness in her, you
know?
Like, like, like, Dina is needy. Dina is a needy mother. She's, like, she real sort of neediness in her, you know? Like, Dina is needy.
Dina is a needy mother.
She's, like, she cries.
She's funny.
She's very funny, but she's, like, she's just there.
She cries.
She whimpers.
You know, she's like, oh, everyone's leaving me.
Anyone who needs to surround themselves with three-legged animals has issues.
They need to feel like good people or like they're doing something.
They need to be needed.
I still also would like to know why she's in this huge fight with Caroline.
It's still never totally come out.
And I don't like that they are not explaining it.
And I don't know.
Something is so fishy there.
They probably are both to blame.
But I can't help but feel like Dina is, you know,
as much as Caroline has annoyed me in the recent seasons, I feel like Caroline has a better head on her shoulder than Dina is, you know, I, as much as Caroline has annoyed me in the recent seasons,
I feel like Caroline has a better
head on her shoulder than Dina, because Dina is
still BFF with Teresa
and Joe. You know, like, I can't
trust someone. Well, Dina is not the, I don't
think Dina is BFFs with them.
She just is for the show. You think so? But she's like
the godmother of this. She says, like,
she acts like she's BFF,
and she takes her side, at least publicly,
and I just am like,
these are two criminals.
Absolute criminals, okay?
And they're also dumb people.
They're idiots.
And you are blindly
taking their side.
That doesn't make me
respect you.
Their father was supposedly
killed by the mob
or something, right?
Yeah.
So they've got,
they've had that kind
of background.
I mean, in Jersey,
look how everybody's changed once
Teresa and Joe got indicted. Everyone's like,
oh, we love them. Oh, God
bless them. Because it's like a cool
you know, we've talked about on this before. It's like
watching The Godfather. It's like cool if you go to
jail or you're, you know.
They look up to that.
So they're actually doing a good job.
Good job, Teresa and Joe.
Good job.
Yeah.
Let's see.
Rumors of the week.
Yeah.
They're getting divorced.
Have you been reading that?
I think I just saw that headline on our Facebook page.
Yes, that's where I saw it as well.
You have a little something on your cheek.
What is that?
It's gone.
What is that?
It was like a little piece of fluff.
Fluff?
Yeah.
Yeah.
The rumors are they're selling all their homes and splitting everything because they're going to get divorced.
Okay.
And he's probably going to be deported.
Right.
Bye.
So now we'll get to Teresa's spinoff that Caroline totally called that she's going to get, which is Teresa trying to do it on her own.
Yeah.
And I hope they do because it'll lead to scenes like that scene of Teresa in the SUV when she is like,
Mom, I'm real proud of how you're handling this.
And she's like, I love you, honey.
And then Gia leaves the car
and the little one's in the back sleeping
and Teresa's like,
Yeah, you know, honey,
people go through stuff
because sometimes stuff happens to people
and it's part of life, you know?
And the little girl goes,
I'm tired.
Shut up, Mom.
Meanwhile, people on our Facebook page,
two different people,
took pictures from that scene
to show that neither Gia nor Adriana were wearing seatbelts.
So bad mothering skills.
Thank God for the internet.
Make sure no one gets off easy.
That's funny.
Yeah, that's another reason why Dina should not be friends with her.
Because she doesn't enforce the seatbelt rule.
I don't think Melissa did anything this week.
Did she?
Melissa.
They did nothing.
Melissa just gets harder and harder to watch. I feel like she's did anything this week. Did she? Melissa. They did nothing.
Melissa just gets harder and harder to watch.
I feel like she's just obviously on something.
She did nothing.
They're poor.
They did not sell.
They keep saying they sold their last home.
They did not sell their last home. Oh, yeah.
They rented it.
They were looking at their plans for an L.A. chic chateau, which was not L.A. chic.
Which is not L.A. at all or chic.
Yeah.
It's like some terrible Caesar's Palace ripoff.
Mm-hmm.
They did not sell their last home.
They said they sold it.
They did not.
They rented it.
The guy never paid rent.
He's getting evicted.
So now they're out like a couple hundred thousand dollars on that.
So now they own that plus whatever they're building.
Those two are fucked.
Yeah, they're very fucked because this show is not going to last forever.
Or at least their role in it will not last forever.
It's not going to last long.
And we know Bravo does not play well.
Is anybody watching it?
I think the ratings have really slid.
It's horrible.
It's been a real decline.
And I wish I could say it's all the twins and Amber's fault.
And I think most of it is because they're unwatchable.
Like, I can't watch them.
Yeah.
But Teresa won't do anything or talk about anything because she's going to jail.
Yeah.
And Dina's not going to bother doing anything.
So what are you left with?
There's nothing going on.
You just have the twins and their potentially slutty mother, Santa.
Yeah, make it about Santa.
The only things that have been interesting so far this year are Santa fucking Reno.
Yeah.
Which may not even have happened.
Victoria Gotti. That fucking Reno. Yeah. Which may not even have happened. Victoria Gotti. That's it.
Yeah.
Now, I'm trying to think if there's
anything else on the show. I don't remember literally
anything else. We could talk about some gossip, I guess,
in the meantime, before we go on to Below Deck.
Do you have any other notes?
Hold on, let me see. We're very
professional. Tree talking to
her asleep kid.
Joe something drama.
Oh, I really like that scene where Joe, Midget Joe, is like,
you know, I really feel.
Yeah.
The tree.
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And joke.
I was like,
you do not,
shut up.
And it was like five minutes
of him trying to act
and it was terrible.
Dong underwear,
because Reno wore
those underwear
that outlined his wiener
and made it into a penis.
Yes, I can.
When Joe Gorga's like,
in the future,
you're gonna think,
you're gonna look
in the history books and you're gonna see what a Joe Gorga house was. Itas like, in the future you're gonna think, you're gonna look in the history books and you're gonna see what
a Joe Gorgas house was.
Like you've ever looked
in a history book. And the book is
the history books have a photo of like a bunch of wood
on like a pile
of wood and dust and rocks. Yeah, it's
gonna be like wood faux
stain to look like a marble in your bathroom.
It's gonna look like Hurricane Sandy afterwards.
Talking in church with cameras.
Ash Wednesday.
I feel for her because cancer.
She's infringing in my space.
Fucking Teresa never will learn to speak. I love that.
And loyal soldier friend
ploying. Yep. I did
my note. Yeah. Good.
Why don't we talk about this piece of gossip, which
we haven't talked about yet, which comes from the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Yes. Good. Why don't we talk about this piece of gossip, which we haven't talked about yet, which comes
from the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
Yes.
Which is that there was apparently a brawl involving Brandi Glanville and Kim Richards.
A physical brawl.
Physical.
With fists.
Like Brandi attacked Kim Richards.
Love it, because at that last reunion when Kim is sticking up for Brandi and they're
best friends, I was like, the woman who called you,
like, who outed you for being a meth head
on national TV,
you're suddenly friends with just because
she doesn't like Lisa?
Really, Kim? I guarantee
this is what happened.
As the season films... And look at that hideous
picture. I mean, both of you.
Brandy's face is so full
of fillers.
She looks like a garbage pile kid. Like a clown. Yeah,, both of you. Brandy's face is so full of fillers. She looks like a garbage pile kid.
Like a clown. Yeah, a garbage pile kid.
And Kim looks like this napkin
that I've been playing with and crumpling up.
Kim looks alright. For Kim,
I think she looks alright. I think Brandy looks scarier.
Kim looks like a palest shoe that you
sanded down and realized it was cardboard underneath.
She looks terrible.
She sort of looks like a...
Moisturized. She looks like a feminine version
of Andy Warhol. They need to start
adding like aloe
vera to Pinot Grigio.
So here's my theory about what
happened behind
this, what led to this fight.
Based on very little. I think
the Richards sisters saw
that they were on the wrong side of the Bravo fans
because they were ganging up on Lisa,
and they realized that the Bravo fans all hate Brandi now,
and I feel like they probably changed their tune,
and that probably frustrated Brandi,
and then Brandi probably felt like there was a lack of loyalty,
and it probably caused some tension, and it led to this fight.
That's what I'm going to say.
Yeah, because it's all changed.
Because I saw Lisa's AWLS challenge.
The ice bucket thing.
What is that?
Yeah, ALS.
Poor Lou Gehrig.
Sorry, Lou.
All right, we'll name another disease after you.
Yeah.
Okay.
But that challenge, Lisa took it and she was like,
I nominate Brandi Glanville. Brandi Glanville, Brandi Glanville.
So I guess they're friends again.
Or maybe she's doing it to spite her.
You don't spite someone with some autism challenge or whatever.
Well, maybe because she knew that Brandi wouldn't want to do it or something.
Maybe either she knew that Brandi didn't want to do it,
or she's being past aggressive, being like,
I'm going to take the higher road and still pretend I'm with friends.
I don't know.
I can't imagine this show
redeeming itself because it got so ridiculous
last year, but
now that I've seen the other Housewives shows,
well, New York I kind of like this year
actually. Atlanta was good this season. But after
seeing this show specifically, this Jersey,
I'm like, I'm ready for Beverly Hills to come back.
Yeah, I am. Jersey is
really terrible. Jersey is, this is one
of the worst seasons of all the Real Housewives ever.
This is worse than... worse than D.C., which I liked.
It may be as bad as Miami season one, which...
Although I liked Miami season one.
So this may be one of the worst seasons of all time.
Season three, then. Season three was pretty painful in Miami.
Oh, season three in Miami was very bad.
This is a really bad season.
The thing with New Jersey is that I feel like nothing is happening.
Nothing is happening. Like, nothing.
And no one talks to each other, and no one likes each other
in real life, so there's no connection there.
It just doesn't make any sense. I don't know why
they would cast me like this. They had to bring in Victoria Gotti to
bring in some gossip. That's really sad.
I don't know. I mean, a woman who had her show
canceled on E. A&E.
A&E? A&E. Oh my
God. I mean, that's really
scraping. But
I'm just waiting for Celebrity Apprentice,
the next Celebrity Apprentice to come through because Brandy
and Kenya Moore
were both on it. Hell yeah, and they hate each other.
Yeah, and apparently Kenya was very difficult
on the shoot. Yeah, Kenya stole Vivica
Fox's phone and wrote, oh God,
it's so difficult going through menopause on her
Twitter. Oh, I did not realize that.
She sent out all these fake tweets.
Oh my god. I can't wait.
I heard from a producer on the show
that she's
very difficult. And Donald Trump tells her
when he fires her that she's the worst human being
he's ever met in his life. Wow.
Why are they waiting?
Why is NBC waiting?
I don't know, actually, because it's been in the works for a long time
and they still haven't announced it.
The last season, the All-Star one,
did not do well in the ratings,
which is why it wasn't on this past year.
But I think that having Brandy...
But that Trump show has been on the skids for years.
I don't even know what it's still doing on the air.
When they did Celebrity Apprentice, it rebounded.
But I think that they're smart. years. I don't even know what it's still doing on the air. When they did Celebrity Apprentice it rebounded.
But I think that they're smart.
They're wisening up by having two Bravo stars on there because that's good.
And I love the fact that
they have Kenya on there because only
because the ramifications on Atlanta
with Nene. Because that is Nene's
trump card. I say this every week and I make the same pun
every week and it's not even supposed to be a pun.
But that truly is Nene's trump card. Not anymore. Now she's I make the same pun every week and it's not even supposed to be a pun. But that truly is Nina's Trump card.
Not anymore. Now she's on a Broadway show, right?
Yeah. I mean now
Nina's head is going to be huge.
Because she's been on sitcoms.
She's been in that Cirque du Soleil show.
The New Normal.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
What Cirque du Soleil show was she on?
She was on Zumanity.
Oh God, I would want my tickets back. She was on Zumanity for a couple monthsil show was she on? She was on Zumanity. Oh God, I would want my tickets back.
She was on Zumanity for a couple months.
What was she doing?
I don't know.
What on earth was Nene Leakes doing on Cirque du Soleil?
I don't know.
Probably just sitting on her fat ass.
Yeah.
Chomping something with her giant teeth.
They're like, watch her get through this rope in less than five seconds.
Let's see.
Then she's going to be on Broadway.
What was the show again that she's on
it's a good
it's not bad
it's like Cinderella
yeah yeah
Cinderella
it's not bad
I mean it's closing
she's gonna close it out
is she gonna be
like the godmother
yeah the evil stepmother
oh the evil stepmother
oh that works
yeah
that makes sense
yeah
I believe that
I don't know
I mean he's like
gonna be totally
insufferable now.
Atlanta will be good this season.
You know that Apollo did not report to jail initially?
We talked about that.
Did we talk about that?
Yeah, I think that was on last week.
We did talk about that.
But he's in jail now.
Apollo just ran away from jail.
He's in jail now.
And I saw his Instagram message.
Did you see it?
Stupid Apollo.
He's like, hi, everybody.
It's me, Apollo.
I forgot how he talked.
It's me, Apollo.
I'm here.
I just wanted y'all to know
that I made it okay
and I'm about to turn myself in
and I'll see you all soon
and I'll be keeping you updated.
I was like,
you are not going to be keeping anybody updated.
You're in jail, Apollo.
Oh, my God.
They do not let you use Instagram in jail, stupid.
Oh, my.
Keep everyone updated. Yeah, he said something like that. Like, I'll keep up. I'll talk to you later. in jail, stupid. Oh my. Keep everyone updated.
Yeah, he said something like that.
Like, I'll keep out to us.
Talk to you later.
I'm like, no you won't.
Yeah, in eight years.
When your butt's so loose you don't even know when you're pooping.
I've talked about poop a lot today.
Isn't that weird?
I don't even have to poop.
It must be the presence of being in my apartment.
Yeah, my pooping.
So should we go on to Below Deck?
Sure.
Vicki Gunvalson, Brooks Ayers, admits violence against her.
He admitted violence against her?
All right, I'll click the link.
This is from, by the way, this is from Michael Cook.
Michael Cook says...
Well, we all knew he was a pig.
Isn't this old news?
I think this is, like further further old news
do you know by the way that there was a
like a
gay bashing in Philadelphia
and Greg from Real Housewives of New Jersey
Greg the tall gay guy
he has helped
like solve the crime
yeah with Instagram
yeah which is actually crazy if you read the story
it's actually terrible
they were checking out on their Facebook
likes. No, because what happened was
it was like 15 people of
20-somethings, men and women,
and they attacked
these two gay guys
and then Greg somehow
got a hold of an Instagram photo of this
group when they were at the restaurant beforehand
because you could see in the
surveillance video that some of the people were from that photo, and I guess he must have been looking
at that photo on Instagram or whatever, so he tweeted the photo out to be like, you know,
some people from this party gay-bashed, and then someone started up a fake Twitter account,
and so that way they could be anonymous, and they recognized the restaurant, and so that way they could be anonymous and they recognized the restaurant and so then they checked
on facebook to see who had recently checked in at that restaurant whoa found at least three of the
people from the picture and uh let the authorities know and now it's a whole thing these some the
authorities are closing in and uh the people some of the people started to lawyer up and it's kind of
great so greg actually played a role because because by him tweeting that image out someone
else was able to use it to find the check-ins and all that stuff so kind of cool good for greg
yeah good for that guy good for that guy okay and shame on gay bashing who does that especially a
big party of women and men both i know keep it. Keep it classy, Philly. Philly trash.
Not saying that Philly is full of trash, but these were Philly trash.
Delicious cream cheese, though.
Thanks for that. The best. It is truly
the best cream cheese. It is. I had a bagel
and cream cheese today, by the way. I really like their fluffy
cream cheese. Oh, the whipped? Yeah.
I like the whipped, too. Because you can
binge easier. You don't have to wait for it
to get to room temperature.
I would actually eat a bar of cream cheese if I could.
If someone gave it to me, if it was okay for my body to do that,
I would actually sit there and eat the entire bar.
One of the Kardashian girls on Radar are online.
Okay, so...
What's this girl?
And why is there a gif of her just walking?
That's so stupid.
I hate the world.
Okay, we're on Radar online.
We're reading an article where Brooks has admitted to violence against Vicky.
He used violence against his reality star girlfriend.
It admits he once owed thousands of dollars to the IRS.
So a business associate filmed this footage where he says, I guess Ayers has complaints about the Real Housewives of O.C.
And he says, well, it's a reality show and I've made jack compared to what Vicky makes.
I made $17,500 in the last two years.
Well, you're not a star, you're not a cast member.
I'm surprised they even pay you, you stupid cock face.
And I loved it.
The sleazy footage was filmed in a Las Vegas hotel room
by a business associate.
People are so gross.
I know.
Should we just watch it?
Yeah, we're going to watch this.
It's three minutes.
We're going to watch it.
We're going to play it.
Okay, we're going to just talk over it while it plays.
Yeah.
Can you guys hear it?
I hope you can.
Because you can't talk back to us. can you guys hear it yeah depths and threats
oh yeah he's saying he didn't make any money
it's a real sleazy hotel yeah this is really gross this is like a Motel 8.
He's I think he's drunk.
I love that this guy
was complaining about
having to pay child support.
I don't think they're
going to be able to hear this.
Yeah, I don't think so.
Sorry everyone.
Yeah, Brooks is disgusting.
I guess you could just imagine what that's going to be
like for three minutes.
Yeah, it's all the same shit.
He grabbed her.
Okay, Ayers has previously been accused
of making threats towards Gumbelson in the past
and the other person in the video brings up a new claim
that when Ayers and Gumbelson were on vacation
in Puerto Vallarta, he grabbed her during a
drunken night out. And Brooks said,
I didn't grab her in the back of the hair like that.
He says, extending his left arm
and out palm open. I was mad and I was
wrong and that's the only source of violence they have
seen me do. Oh gosh.
So he just said he didn't do it.
The only thing I've ever done with Vicky
when I just came out of this bathroom and we
were in this place and I saw a guy grab her ass
and I came up and said, what
the hell? And she said, it's not
a big deal. And I said, yes, it's a big deal.
And I was wrong. There is never a right or wrong
or excuse to ever touch a woman, particularly
in public or private, ever.
So I'll own that. But it was never a hit or a slap.
Mm-hmm.
Who cares? Is that really it?
I thought he beat Vicky.
This is not to sound disappointed.
This was honestly like a nothing article. This was. whatever michael come on michael come on michael
razor game that was a lot of time we devoted to that yeah that was a big he didn't even do
anything new that's dumb um all right so speaking of protective violence why don't we go on to below
deck okay so we actually just watched this together we sure did
we sure did cleaning things okay well i watched i had some extra time this week and i watched
last week's episode because people were all pissy that we didn't watch it and said it was really
good and you know i hate that shit but i watched it and i laughed so hard it was so good so last
week there was this gay asshole on there.
This asshole who happened to be gay.
For some reason it makes me
more mad when gays act like that
because it's one of us. And I'm like, come on,
you're an ambassador of the boat.
Ronnie, you only like the normal gays.
Get in trouble
for our kind of gays that we like.
I just don't like when gay people act like that.
I don't like when Lebanese people act like that you know? Yeah. I don't like when
Lebanese people act
like that girl on
Game of Crowns
either okay?
And I don't like
when my Jewish
people act like
Princess Long Island
but you know what?
We have Bravo to
thank for sending
us all back.
Yes.
Bravo hurts all of
us.
Bravo hurts all races.
You know how there's
like a wave of
anti-Semitism going
on in Europe right
now?
It's like the worst
since World War II.
It's because of
Bravo.
They just got
Princesses Long
Islands.
Yeah they probably
did. Good job Andy Cohen. Thanks a lot Jerry. Your own people. Yeah. It's like the worst since World War II. It's because of Bravo. They just got Princesses Long Island. Yeah, they probably did.
Good job, Andy Cohen. Your own people.
That's why those gay-bashing people
did it. They got Bravo free
for a week, and all the gay people are getting killed in Philly.
All the Europeans are like, wait a second,
wait a second, wait a second.
We were right. Yeah, totally.
So anyway,
the guy was just like an evil queen,
and the girl
who's like
Shelly Long
crossed with
Cate Blanchett
Cate Blanchett
yeah that's good
I love her
she's like a smart ass
like too good
for this
kind of girl
and I really
she is too good
for it
she's way too classy
she always says
I have a resting
bitch face
which is true
and she's also a bitch
well her excuse was
she goes
you know I have a resting bitch face which is a true, and she's also a bitch. Well, her excuse was, she goes, you know, I have bitching rest
face, which is a real thing.
A lot of people are like, that is a real disease.
Yeah. But the guy
told her she was acting bitchy, like he basically
told her off in front of everybody, and so
to get back at him, she always
does a special fold of the towel
or the blankets on the bed,
and instead of shaping it like
an anchor or a star, she shaped it like
a big cock and left it on his bed.
A rocket ship, I thought.
And it caused this huge controversy
and all the maids are like, oh my god!
You did that and now we're not gonna
get a tip, you bitch! Just because someone
was completely misogynistic and mean to you
on national television doesn't give you
the right to make a penis shape out of a blanket.
That was so good.
Oh, yeah.
So that was last week.
And so this week, this week things started off on a casual note.
Do I have Reese's Pieces?
Yeah.
Okay.
Keep talking.
They're only chips.
Bring the whole bag over.
Oh, they're chip, like cooking chips?
Yeah.
Sorry, I got it.
I made some of Ina Garten's chocolate peanut butter globs, and I called for these.
Oh my god, they're peanut butter chocolate chips!
Yeah.
Thank you.
A little snack time for Ben and Nani.
Yeah, snack time.
Whoa!
Sorry, I just put some on.
No, I'm taking them off.
Oh, you are?
You're so skinny.
I haven't had lunch.
I was starving.
This is an Ina Garten lunch right here because you know how this bitch eats
when those candles
those cameras are off
oh Beeler's not here
to eat that off my door
I dropped a chip
I don't know where it is
yeah if Ina was here
eating lunch
and there were no cameras
on she would be eating
chocolate chips
so anyway
this week
those are lovely
aren't they
they're really good
I've got chocolate chips too
if you want
no no
okay
so they first what happens is they all go to peg legs which is like They're really good. I've got chocolate chips too if you want. No, no. Okay.
So first what happens is they all go to Peg Legs, which is like their local canteen.
Which, you know what?
Shame on you, Bravo.
You just had Aviva on the show because we name it something a little more politically correct. I know.
Could you imagine if Aviva had flown down?
She's already so stressed from the flight.
There should have been a banner up saying,
read, and then you take her to Peg Legs.
No, she would have been like,
now this is how to show me a vacation.
I got here and they've named a restaurant after me.
Thank you.
This is all I've been asking is for a little respect.
Glasses shaped like Aviva.
Drinking out of empty legs.
Stemless wine glasses.
So anyway, so they're there.
And so first we have...
Who's the hot guy? What's his name?
Kenny? Johnny?
So there's the hot guy. I call them all Romana.
Okay. So there's the hot guy.
He's a former military guy.
And he has a crush on this
very plain girl named Janice.
Okay?
And so they...
But I guess he tried to kiss Janice,
and Janice was like,
no.
Which is ridiculous,
because Janice will never do better.
Right?
He's so hot.
This guy is so hot.
And Janice is hot because she's 20.
And that's it.
That girl...
I don't know.
That girl's just not... That girl's not as hot as she thinks she is. That's, I'm I don't know, that girl's just not
that girl's not as hot as she thinks she is, that's all I'm saying.
Yeah, exactly. So
they go out to this bar and so Janice starts to talk
to these douchebags
and she's flirting with them and they're really bad
and then they call over the other two girls
and they're all sitting at the table
and the other two girls realize
you know, these guys are douchebags, we're not going to stay here.
So they get up to leave and the guys say oh, go fuck yourself. And they're like what? And then they're like, yeah, you know, these guys are douchebags. We're not going to stay here. So they get up to leave. And the guys say, oh, go fuck yourself.
And they're like, what?
And then they're like, yeah, you shit, fuck, cunts, whatever.
They're like real assholes.
Huge assholes.
So then the hot guy goes, Ron and I really enjoyed this part.
The hot guy at this point was shirtless for really no reason.
He was shirtless.
And we found out that these guys were saying this stuff about his sister.
He put on his shirt and like went
running over the bar
I was gonna start a fight
Ryan and I were both
like on the couch
like oh my god
I was really mad actually
because he put back
on his shirt to do it
and then never took it
back off again
like thanks a lot
for messing that up sister
and I'm thinking to myself
why is this Janice girl
messing around
with these douche bags
when she has this
super hot guy who wants to, like, basically bone her?
And he's sensitive and sweet.
She wasn't doing anything with him except accepting their free drinks.
Yeah, but, like, that's...
And that's the thing with guys.
They're like, I bought you drinks.
That means we get to gangbang you back at our room.
It's like, no, that doesn't mean that, okay?
It means you get a shot.
It's like buying a lottery ticket, okay?
But she was, I think, though, that she was,
and this is not a blaming the victim thing,
I think she was enjoying the flirtations, for sure.
She was enjoying the attention.
But it's like, you get that,
you should be able to get that fulfilled from the guy,
the hot guy.
Yeah, but the thing is,
she was sharing a cabin with him.
It's like sleeping in a closet together.
True.
As it is. You can't be dating somebody on a cabin with him. It's like sleeping in a closet together. True. As it is.
You can't be dating somebody on a boat.
The thing is, she's really flirtatious
with him and turning him down.
So she finally gave him a speech about why she's
turning him down. She's like,
well, here's the thing. I think we're really
compatible and we could be in a really good
relationship together.
Fundamentally.
That's not how you start.
You just say, look, I'm sorry it's not going to work
out between us. I have a boyfriend. I'm into my
boyfriend. The end.
You don't say we're perfect for each other, but
I'm really compatible with my boyfriend.
You have anger issues.
And she's also looking at him
kind of romantically.
And then later she's like, do you need a hug?
Do you need a hug?
It's so patronizing.
Is anything wrong with you?
And he's like, I don't want to talk about it.
I'll be fine.
I need to just get over it.
She's like, would you want me to hug you?
He's like, no.
She's like, well, whenever you want to just hang out.
Get out of here.
You got dumped.
It's like she can't take that she got dumped.
But I think she dumped him, though.
She rejected him.
She rejected him.
She rejected him, but then she didn't want to be the bad guy.
But now he's rejecting her by not talking to her anymore.
Yeah, because she's uncomfortable with being the bad guy.
God, we're talking about maids fucking.
Who cares?
Aurora flirted with Aurora.
No one cares.
That's stupid.
I watch Downton Abbey.
I care about maids.
But the thing is that he's so hot.
Like, he could get anyone.
Like, I was like, why are you so hung up on this very plain, average girl?
Sweet, nice looking, but, like, he can do so much better.
I think just because she's right there in his...
She's there, you know?
It's like a foot away from his crotch.
Yeah.
You know, that's why you have to have the rule like don't fuck neighbors
because what else are you going to do?
They're right there.
You know,
why not?
Or like don't fuck people at work.
Why wouldn't you?
You're at work all day.
There's people there
and you do it
but then,
you know,
that's what you do when you're 20.
When you're a little older,
you know what that causes
because you've had so many
slashed tires,
poisoned drinks,
you know, you know,
the bad children.
Work babies, babies
in the workplace.
Little Applebee's babies, little good apples running around.
Yeah, you don't need that.
But meanwhile, it's funny because
while that was all happening,
the chef Ben and Kat were having sex.
The chef Ben talks like an
animaniac.
Like, I'll make whatever I want for dinner.
I like Kat quite a bit.
I think I might be doing Australian.
Now we're doing, we're still doing our stupid.
Let me give you a little bit of friendly advice, Kat.
Do a four-course meal.
He's just English.
He's just English.
He's just English.
He just talks like English.
It's a little difficult to switch.
Now I'm doing some weird, like,
strange, vaguely European accent. It's a little weird. It's a little difficult to switch. I like, now I'm doing some weird, like, strange,
vaguely European accent.
It's a little weird,
it's a little weird to be
It's a little weird
to be over here.
You know,
I don't really appreciate
her telling me
what to cook for dinner.
I'm a chef.
I'm a chef.
It's just when things are done.
This is how I do it.
He's obnoxious.
He actually is really cocky
and obnoxious.
And,
so,
but the best part is though,
so they go and have sex
really loudly and everyone hears it. And then the next day when the best part is, though, they go and have sex really loudly
and everyone hears it. And then the next day, when the
charter comes on, the charter guests,
someone's like, um, there's a
stain on my seahorse pillow.
And they show it. There's a big old
sperm stain. Big old ginseng.
Like Monica Lewinsky looks like
the New York compared to the seahorse.
I couldn't believe they showed that on
Bravo. It was amazing. And I love it
because he's the same guy who last week
was like, Kate, you're so unprofessional
for making a penis pillow
on the bed. That jeopardized our
whole tip. Like, you spooged on the
guest's pillow. Yeah. Like, you're
going to lecture somebody. You shot your wife.
I'd love to see you lecture somebody again.
Yeah. You just emptied your
cartridge on a seahorse pillow from fucking the carewine.
It was disgusting.
Oh my goodness.
That was, and the best part is the other girl, the sister of the hot guy, she's like, can
you believe this?
There's like a stain right here.
She's like touching it.
They're like, don't touch it.
Your finger's pregnant now.
Yeah.
I don't understand.
He would do that.
I mean, how does that even get there?
Look at this pretty pillow.
What happened?
Who would want a jizz on a seahorse anyway?
It was a tacky pillow.
Those things are scaly.
It was meant to be.
They should just chuck it into the ocean and be done with it.
God, hopefully they did.
It's like they were trying to wash that pillow.
Gross.
That would be like the next Godzilla movie is when they tossed
a pillow with sperm into the ocean
and the sperm intertwines with some
moray eel and this crazy
half-eel
quarter-bin, quarter-cat
monster comes out
and then just gets drunk and crashes
down onto peg legs.
Or peg legs.
Or he was like, finally, I had someone
appreciate my return
and it's been crushed.
By a sea monster.
Caused by your seahorse
semen pillow.
Oh, Aviva. Okay.
What else happened on that stupid list?
So then this charter came on
board. And they were like
the best charter from last season.
And everything was great.
This time they brought their gay son.
They brought their gay son who likes to booze.
Everything he likes is booze.
By the way, hot.
Hot gay son, you thought?
He's so cute.
No, I did not like him.
I loved him.
And also I like him because he's really rude.
And so if you're ever at a restaurant and you're dating and you
have a problem with the food you don't have to complain to the waiter you can tell him and he'll
be like you're not doing your job you want to see what a five percent tip looks like i'll show you
right now because that's exactly what happened basically ben decided to do a four course meal
and even if you can do it for He always is behind in his cooking.
I don't know how, as a chef, you can be so far behind with your cooking.
These people sat down at like 9, 15 p.m., somewhere like that.
They were not done with their four-course meal until 11.45.
And these were small dishes.
Yeah, those weren't even courses.
Like, one plate was a shrimp.
Yeah, a four-course meal
should take an hour max.
It's not a lot, you know?
Even if you were to do an eight-course tasting
menu, that's like two hours. So for
it to be two and a half hours
and to wait that long, apparently there's
also issues because Kate
was the only one serving everyone
and Kat was asleep downstairs.
But I blame it all on ben like his
timing was awful and i was sitting there waiting for dinner forever i should have had waiters to
get them drunk and this is well this is the second time this happened uh two episodes ago that that
happened where they everyone had to wait for the food the food was taking forever and they do serve
the booze and then they get more irritable because they're drinking on empty stomachs and then that's
why you have that guy going and he was like he's like i just want you to know i don't know what's going on above deck
or below deck i don't know what the issue is but like there are other people involved and like
you have a job to do so you have to do the job and then kate was just like you're right he's like if
you're a manager it's your job to manage the boat and if someone has something to say then it's your
job to listen to them and she's's like, you're right. I completely
agree.
And I just like silence.
Good for her.
I like when these shows
accidentally get an intelligent person.
I think that's why
Lisa Vanderpump's so fun.
Someone like that, they're legitimately rich
and they're legitimately...
They're not just fakers like everyone
on these shows are such phonies so to find people that are actually legit it's just such a refreshing
thing and that kate chick should be on every show i love her yeah no i'm a big fan and then i guess
as the as the show wound down they wound up uh going off some beach, and they ran into, uh,
what's her name, the lesbian from last season. Andrea?
No.
She's gonna be awful. I forgot her name all of a sudden.
But now she's gonna come on the boat next week
with the guests. And she's gonna be a guest, and
she's, I always liked her last season, to be honest.
Maybe I just like bitchy women.
I don't understand why everybody hated her so much.
She was just asking them to do their job.
I guess in a mean way.
Well, I don't know.
Managers suck, I guess.
I know, she's a mean, cold lesbian.
What else was on Bravo this week?
Did you watch any singles projects?
I didn't, did you?
I did.
I watched episode six.
I'm not sure if it was this week's or last week's,
because I watched that one online.
Let's see. They all went on dates
with people. That really annoying
blonde girl went out with the artist guy
and
they had some art date.
And he's like, I just wanted to say before we
even start, it was so awesome
watching how you talked about me on the show
last week and how it was the
best date of your life.
It's so hard to watch this.
They're so aware of what they're doing.
It's so strange, right?
It is.
It's so fourth wall-y.
But, I don't know.
It was fine.
I think my problem with it is just
I just generally don't like dating at all.
Yeah.
And when my friends talk to me about dating, and I don't want you to feel like you can never talk. You never really do that much. I've talked to't like dating at all. Yeah. And like when my friends talk to me about dating,
and I don't want you to feel like you can never talk,
you never really do that much.
I've talked to you about dating before,
at least hookups.
Yeah, yeah.
Like talking about it is one thing,
but you know those friends who that's all they do,
it's like their whole life,
that's all they ever have to talk about
is like what some guy thinks of them,
or what some girl thinks of them,
or what did I do wrong like my
neighbor who thank god will never listen to this show is so sweet but he had this guy staying with
him and it was like some out-of-town guests that they met on they've been talking online for years
and then the guy finally came in town and they were staying together because the guy was on
vacation so he thought it was going to be like this romantic week with this guy
and they were going to have all this sex. Well the guy
didn't want anything sexual. He just basically
wanted a place to stay. Yeah.
But I couldn't tell my friend that. But he's like, I don't
understand it. Like, he's just
looking away from me and he's not in the bed
with me and he looks like he's afraid I'm going to
touch him.
And I said, well, you know,
I mean, you know, there's a whole book called He's Just Not
That Into You.
Yeah.
And I think that if he's not into you, you can't rape him.
You can't get him to, it's been five days, just back away.
Like.
Yeah.
Don't make an ass of yourself.
And he's like, but can't I just like maybe do this or do this?
Is it me?
Is it because I'm too old?
Is it because I'm ugly?
I mean,
it was just like days.
Well,
you know,
it's strange.
I can't lie,
dude.
Who cares?
It's some random loser off the internet.
He's cross-eyed.
He smells like BO.
He's like missing a tooth.
Yeah.
Who cares?
Go out.
I mean,
you get fucked more on Grindr,
you know,
and that's like straight from the comfort of your own phone.
Like,
who cares? Stop it.
Read a book.
When I first came out of the closet, I used to talk about
the guys I was seeing and dating all the time.
I was like, oh my god, I'm seeing this guy.
I'm like, I don't know, I think he...
Well, that's because that's when you first came out.
Yeah, it's sort of like being a teenager, you know?
But I think eventually you start to...
It's like when you first become a Christian, you're like,
Jesus! Everybody, Jesus!
Like, you cannot hang around a new Christian for at least a year... It's like when you first become a Christian, and you're like, Jesus! Everybody, Jesus! Like, you cannot hang around a new Christian
for at least a year.
It's like, you know.
Yeah, and I mean, I think, you know,
obviously, whenever anyone meets someone
that they're excited about,
they're going to talk about them,
and, like, that's totally fine.
That's great.
But when it's all that they want to talk about,
it's like, but do they like this?
I don't know.
I don't know if they like me.
I don't know.
And every single time you meet them,
then it's a problem.
And it's kind of like being stuck in an adolescent mindset.
And that's how the Singles Project feels to me.
It's like that friend who won't stop talking about it, and they're so needy, and they have nothing going on in their own lives, and they have this big gaping hole.
I didn't mean that literally.
But I guess it is literally.
They have this big gaping hole that they need filled, and the only thing that can fill it is somebody else thinking something nice
about them, and it's just, I've been there, like, we're all human, you know, but it's
just such a sad way.
Like, my friend, I have another friend who's kind of obsessed like that, and she's like,
well, what's, you know, in your experience, what's better, like, okay, Cupid or Tinder?
And I was like, a book.
Read a fucking book okay so
when you meet someone in real life you have something to talk about that's not just like
other people that you saw on a fucking cell phone okay yeah jesus at the end of the day you're gonna
take his pants off he's gonna have a wiener it's gonna go inside of you and it's gonna be over
all right just like every other time just do something else like jesus christ get a hobby join a fucking meetup group i
don't know it's got to be something other than dick in your life you know yeah well some people
are lonely maybe you're lonely ronnie on the inside no i mean look i'm not i'm like the
opposite of lonely i just I get the need for it
I get the need for companionship
and I get the desire for companionship
I don't get
the need for approval
that's so
deafening that you can't live a happy life
unless some idiot you don't even know
thinks you're cute
who cares
there's like billions of people in the world you only have to find one that thinks you're cute. Like, who cares, you know? Well, you know, you... There's, like, billions of people in the world.
Well, you're privileged.
You only have to find one that thinks you're hot.
Well, you're privileged because you, um...
You know, I think that speaks of your self-esteem, too.
I mean, I think you're a pretty, like, self-confident person.
And there are people who are just not confident.
Especially people who are gay, who had to, like, deal with childhood taunting
or not being able to fit in or not being athletically gifted or whatever.
Not to say that you can't be athletically gifted if you're gay but there's usually a pretty big correlation
on that well it was all of those things i mean i have my insecurities yeah but but it affects some
people harder than others you know and like you know if you've always felt like you didn't fit in
you know you it will it will impact you and and sometimes you want to be you want to feel like
someone like adores you or or thinks you're great or something like that and well i want to feel like someone adores you
or thinks you're great or something like that.
Well, I want that too.
I mean, I want a relationship eventually.
I just think it's sad where it's like every person,
especially if you look at something like OkCupid, okay?
So they've added the swipe feature like Tinder.
Okay, so everyone has a swipe feature now.
Right.
And when you're swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe,
and you start realizing you're swiping through thousands of people.
Yeah.
So you go out with one, and one's a freak.
Does that really need to ruin your entire month?
Like, go out with another one.
Yeah, no, I do hate people like that.
Like, oh, I had a bad date like
i don't know what's going on like this is like what's wrong why can't i find it's like this guy
lives in the fucking far out valley where it's 110 degrees right now he works at a sizzler and
his ambitions are to like like he just left that section blank what are you crying about find
something better.
Right.
And also keep your standards high
because I feel like
sometimes people,
they,
they will be like,
well this person's okay,
I'll go,
I'll date them.
And they go on a few dates
and then they're like,
they turn out to be shitty
because you didn't keep
your standards high.
And I'm like,
why is it always a loser?
I only find losers
because you should have
actually swiped left
on that person,
you know,
instead of swipe right.
You know,
so it's,
it's a
combination of sometimes people aren't willing to stick through it enough and sometimes people are
too willing to settle yeah well for someone who hates listening to relationship talk i just got
into it a lot you got oh you got oh oh that's this is where we're coming in coming into right
yeah yeah but i don't know i thought so just gets on my nerves but then now i've watched it
three times i I guess.
And so now I'm like, oh, I wonder what's going to happen with that guy.
Like, I really want to know what's going to happen with that poor, like, white bread Cosby dentist guy who wears bow ties.
Like, what's going to happen to him?
Poor thing.
Everyone's like, loser!
Well, Andrea Copeland on our Facebook page said,
If you watch the singles product over a few
weeks even though they are real people you become
invested in their happiness discord and the openness
of it all I'm in
she has a point I can see that
it wasn't required viewing this week and I still
watched it okay well you know what I'll watch it next
week maybe yeah I mean it's just
that was a feeling
I got at the end I was like why
am I doing this to myself?
They're like, what is Tabassum?
First of all, no one is named Tabassum.
That is the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard.
Tabassum?
Tabassum, no.
That girl wants to be like a reporter on Entertainment Tonight or something.
Is Tabassum the one who's 34?
She's like the gorgeous, yeah, the gorgeous one.
Like, I guess she's the oldest one out of all of them.
She's beautiful. she's like a
entertainment tonight looking
girl and acting
and she's a cold bitch
and she wonders
why she can't find a man cause you're a cold bitch
that's why yeah exactly sorry I'm looking
don't look at the calories I don't wanna know
cause I probably had about
I had a lot of these
we've been quietly eating these Reese's chips.
I think I've had a half a cup.
So what was that?
Oh, what do I care?
Yeah, go look.
But anyway, Tabasum.
What was I going to say about her?
She goes on this date with this cheeseball guy.
Oh, yeah.
The German.
That blonde, cheesy guy.
Yeah.
And he's like, well, you're beautiful.
You're so amazing.
I just want someone to be beautiful.
And she's like, wow,
this is the most comfortable I've ever been.
I can't even believe the cameras are here.
I was like, ugh.
Yes, I can.
He's a cheese ball.
It's obviously just here to be on TV.
And you're obviously only liking him because he's hot. So it's obviously just here to be on TV yeah he was and you're obviously only liking him
because he's hot
so fuck both of you
yeah
yeah
exactly
whatever
whatever
yeah
Ronnie just threw
a napkin
the napkin I gave him
at the top of the podcast
to fiddle with
he threw it at my microphone
in a very rude fashion
anyway
why don't we wrap this up
okay bye
thanks for having bye so everyone
remember come to our Facebook page
it's facebook.com forward slash
watch what crappens
and also
I'm at b-side blog on all social media
Ronnie is at
Trash Talk TV or Ronnie Karam
and just come to
trashtalktv.com this is the end of
Big Brother
this week. Next week.
Next week will be my last
Big Brother in two minutes video, but come watch us
at the site or YouTube.com slash TrashTalkTV.
And then
remember to go to Patreon.
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And you can support us there.
And guess what what we'll have
if you support at
was it $2 an episode
I think it's $2 an episode
yeah next week
we are going to be starting
bonus episodes
so we'll be having after shows
where we will be talking about
other stuff
I'm assuming
we'll probably talk about
oh wait no
we will not talk about that
we'll figure it out
well next week's Big Brother
and Survivor
I'm going to be in Texas
so next week we have to figure out when we Survivor, yeah. I'm going to be in Texas.
We have to figure out what we're going to record.
You know.
Cool.
That's not all right.
Come on, guys.
Come on over.
And thanks for everything, everybody.
All right.
Bye, everyone.
Bye.
Bye.
Yeah, we.
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