Watch What Crappens - #151: You Can Return Everything?Almost
Episode Date: November 5, 2014http://www.watchwhatcrappens.com Ronnie Karam (TrashTalkTV) and Ben Mandelker (bsideblog) have a lot of new to be grateful for. Vanderpump Rules is back and Euros of Hollywood is a gift from ...the Bravo gods. Oh, don?t worry. We will still sit through the forty six hours of Real Housewives of New Jersey?s reunions! Ronnie on the Web: http://www.trashtalktv.com Ronnie on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/trashtalkteevee Ronnie on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/trashtalktv Ronnie on Tumblr: http://trashtalktvrecaps.tumblr.com/ Ben on the Web: http://www.bsideblog.com Ben on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/bsideblog Ben on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/bsideblog Our Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/watch-what-crappens On iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/watch-what-crappens/id498130432?mt=2 Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Watch What Crappens.
Watch What Crappens.
Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens?
Watch What Crappens.
Watch What Crappens.
Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens?
Hey, everyone. Welcome to the Watch What Crappens podcast.
The podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on Bravo.
I'm Ronnie Karam from Trash Talk TV.
And I'm here with Ben Mandelker from B-Side Blog. Hi Ben.
Hey.
Thank you so much for being here.
Thank you for having me.
Guys, you can find us on Facebook.com slash watch what crap happens to tell
us what you think and post articles and give us shit whatever you'd like to do we're also on
patreon.com that's p-a-t-r-e-o-n.com slash watch what crap ends there you can be a subscriber to
the show where you'll get extras like a weekly bonus episode, a monthly Google Hangouts party, which will be happening next Thursday night, the 19th.
Right, Ben?
I believe it's the 13th.
The 20th?
13th.
Thursday the 13th.
So we're doing that Thursday the 13th.
And then we'll be giving, for the Ultra subscribers, we will be giving ringtones.
We had our first round last
month and that was really fun and we're getting some more together now for our social media links
ben and i you can find those at watch what crappens.com that has the link to our patreon
page our facebook page all our twitters and instagrams and blah blah blah and we will stop
wasting our time with that at the front so just go to what crappens.com to find that stuff what
do you want me in? Sorry.
I got very urgent, right?
I'm drinking coffee.
On January 25th, we're doing a live show at the Improv in Hollywood.
So if you're in the L.A. area.
Yeah.
Come down to the live show.
Come watch it.
It'll be super fun.
We want a big crab.
Yeah.
And we're going to have to try and get some housewives or something in there.
We'll get something. we'll get something or someone
we'll get a robot
yeah we'll get a little Roomba
we'll see what the Roomba has to say
cause I'll tell you one thing
a Roomba is a little bit more articulate than many of these housewives
no kidding at least it has a purpose
yeah it's like
okay that makes sense
certainly makes more sense than half the shit that comes out of these women's mouths.
Look at that little machine.
It doesn't look like it makes a lot of sense, but it's actually doing something with its life.
I know, it actually has a purpose.
Like, when it hits a wall, it knows to turn around and go in another direction.
And not just throw a drink at it and call it a cunt for the next 13 hours.
Or to deny that the wall was even there, or that it hit the wall in the first place.
Or to deny that the wall was even there or that it hit the wall in the first place.
Or to say that the wall is now like going to tear apart its family, even though it was the Roomba's fault for hitting the wall in the first place.
Or to call the wall an anti-Semite.
When you know you've lost the argument.
Or to tease the wall of making up rumors about the Roomba's mother.
Oh, God.
Oh, man.
Can we start?
Okay.
First off, we have so much to be grateful for this week.
It's not even Thanksgiving.
But listen, it was just candy Halloween.
So thank you for all the candy, neighbors.
Yeah.
Also, Bravo got off its ass and released two new shows this week.
Vanderpump Rules, which isn't new, but it's premiered, which is great.
And the Euros of Hollywood.
So thank you, Bravo Gods, because we needed that.
Now, of course, I'm thinking about Kristen as a Roomba.
Every time she gets the log, I'm like, seriously?
Seriously?
I looked up this wall on Instagram.
It's a whore.
This wall cheated on the other wall.
It was on the Home Depot Instagram.
I can't even face that wall.
I can't even look at that wall.
It makes me so angry.
Seriously?
Like, look at all the crumbs in front of this wall.
Like, seriously? Do you want to start with that?
Or do you want to start with Real Housewives of Jersey? Yeah with uh real housewives of jurors yeah i'm gonna let you choose let's say jersey let's let's
just let's get the shit out of the way let's get let's use our let's use our rumba to suck up all
this crap on the floor that is new jersey yeah this was a very extreme week of theresa victimhood yes but when they shot this
theresa in all fairness had just been sentenced like two days ago yeah and so they had this you
know they did all this shit because they're awful people and i love that they don't i love that
bravo doesn't even try to pretend anymore like andy and Andy's just had to stop pretending that he's not basically just ruining everyone's life.
And that was the best part to me of the reunion when Andy is telling Dina, well, I think the show probably ruined your relationship with your sister, right, Dina?
And then Teresa starts a plot, like gives him a golf clap.
And she's like, finally, you admit that this show has some effect on people's lives.
And I was like, wow, that's pretty astute of theresa it's pretty astute but it's also pretty stupid
because if you have that if you have that issue then why have you been on the show for like five
seasons well but she she's talking about specific manipulation like dina agreed to do the show
because her family wasn't on it so they said okay your family's not on it and then midway through
they're like haha your family's on it yeah and they cheated you know and that's not cool yeah but at the
same time though like they didn't shoot any scenes i mean jacklyn was obviously shot like
she refused to do it she wouldn't do it yeah but but also jacklyn like she wasn't she didn't do a
scene with anyone except for one of the twins and kathy like she was in a whole different universe
it was like, obviously.
I know, but that wasn't the goal.
You see, they thought they could mix them in
and Dina would just have to go with it.
That's why Andy was like, oh, you know,
there's rumors that you were, like,
going to be furious with anybody who shot with Jacqueline.
You know, so, like, trying to make her look like a bitch,
basically, like calling her out on national TV.
And she was like, well, you know,
I didn't agree to ever film
with her that's why i didn't do the show in the first place you cunt right yeah i just want
somebody to say that to him like you stupid cunt like what do you think i'm gonna just like suddenly
throw everything out the window and fight just so you can get better ratings for your stupid show
you cunt how about like make an effort and stop hiring people in front of the dairy queen or
wherever those bitches get their culottes like make an effort and stop hiring people in front of the dairy queen or wherever
those bitches get their culottes like make an effort from dunkin donuts that's why i get my
glad i'm done get done so i met babby we both reached for the same culotta and knocked it over
um well the thing is i have very mixed feelings about dina because
it sounds like the root of it all is Jacqueline.
She sounds like she really hates Jacqueline and she doesn't want to be around Jacqueline for whatever reason.
We don't know why, but that's what I'm gathering because also –
They showed us a clip of the first season where it started, right?
Where did it start?
They showed that argument where Jacqueline was going at the wheline was going at uh the the whore the
stripper the stripper whore the prostitution Danielle Danielle Staub yeah she was going at
her and then Dina stood up and was telling Jacqueline to shut up or something didn't you
see that whole part yeah yeah I didn't realize that that's what started the whole feud and then
and then Jacqueline was like what did Jacqueline say I don't remember she said it started with
the show and then that's what they showed from the show.
So I'm guessing it just started going out of there because Dina was insinuating throughout the show about all the stuff that happens off the show.
So like Danielle working with Jacqueline to bring down Teresa.
She insinuated stuff about that, which we already knew.
to bring down Teresa.
She insinuated stuff about that, which we already knew.
Yeah, I think that, like, yeah, I think that I'm assuming that Dina really did not
like that Jacqueline really ever had some sort of
relationship with Danielle. Because I remember, from the
very beginning, from the very first season,
was really sort of censored around the fact
that Danielle wanted to be friends with Dina
and Dina, like, hated Danielle. And so
they, there was always
this thing, you know?
But, you know, when Dina was talking and she said that she's tried to reach out and then she didn't get like any – she didn't get like any text messages or like things would be going well and then things would change or like Lexi wasn't invited to like a party or something like that.
So at first I was like, oh, gosh, like that's interesting.
But then I – honestly, Caroline was on Watch watch what happens and someone posted this on our page i'm sorry i don't have
it up so i can't give you credit um but caroline was kind of like she made a good point she said
dina says like that she would like to do a cooking show with me but she says i'm a packaged deal you
can't just like accept me and not everyone else like you have to like accept the good with the bad
and you can't make ultimatums because apparently i guess dina made an ultimatum to chris like
you know i can't if unless you get rid of jacklyn i can't like really talk with you or whatever
well every family member needs to learn you never go against the wife i mean we learned that in my
family really quick because i i come from a big lebanese family and when that shit went you know we had a lot of family shit go down and the husband's
always going to choose a wife or he's going to get a divorce you know there's no way you can just say
split from your wife for your family like he left your asses a long time ago yeah so like i don't
really know what happened between these siblings but i have to say i kind of feel like i believe caroline's side of
the story a little bit more um and uh if it's true i you know i do think that like dina needs to grow
up a little bit they probably both all of them need to grow up it seems like it seems like a
very stupid feud you know they said caroline said, Dina has not been going to family functions
for years now. So it's not
just that, like, that, oh,
she wasn't invited to this engagement thing.
Dina has been actively not going
to things that she's been invited to.
So there's more to the story than that. I don't know the situation.
But I'm sort of on Caroline's side.
I'm on nobody's side.
I'm on nobody's side!
I'm on Franny's side.
All they do is talk about family, but no one gets along in the family.
They ignore each other.
They don't speak to each other.
Dina doesn't speak to her sisters.
Teresa hates her brother and her sister-in-law.
I loved when Kathy was like, well, you know, this show is about mending family.
It's about mending family.
I'm like, oh, yeah, poor Kathy.
You're so deluded.
If you think that anything on Bravo is about mending anything, you are sadly mistaken.
And what family has been mended?
Like what are you even talking about?
Melissa?
Because they still don't even speak to each other.
Melissa is just nice to her on TV because she doesn't want people to be mean to her on Twitter when Teresa is going through a quote-unquote hard time.
Yeah.
I'm still waiting forvo to trot out like
one of these victims of the fraud then you know that that would be interesting to me
yeah exactly why don't you cast one of the people that lost their homes because joe judas never paid
their company back yeah how about that jerks um the deep stuff actually gets more interesting
because beyond what we were just talking about the like the usual family stuff that we've been talking about for Evs, she actually said something that really made the world go crazy at her.
And I don't know that she can recover.
And I had heard about it before I actually saw the reunion.
So I guess.
What was it?
When they were talking about their kid how no one even invites
her kid anymore and that's just so rough and andy was like well you don't even know jacqueline's
yes jacqueline's son and she's like no i mean there's no i don't know him there's nothing i
could do for him you know i'm not a doctor the only thing i could do is love him and blah blah
blah which she doesn't in my own way yeah And then she's like, sometimes it's better to love from afar or whatever.
So then she says, but it's more hurtful with my daughter because she knew Chris.
She had a relationship with Chris.
So she feels dumped.
And I feel sorry.
I feel worse for the kid who knows what's happening.
So that's what she basically said. I feel sorry for the kid who knows what's happening right so that's what she's basically said i feel
sorry for the kid who knows what's happening well everyone in the world took it to mean
jackalyn son doesn't know what's happening because he's autistic so who cares about his feelings
and i people don't take it that way crazy i didn't take it that way i took it that he's young
yeah he's a kid he doesn't know, so losing me doesn't matter to him.
Exactly.
But it hurts my daughter because she lost an uncle.
Yeah, but that being said, when she was saying that stuff, I actually felt like it was very manipulative.
It was like, well, you know, like, don't act like that you know if you wanted alexi to have a relationship with with her uncle you
would just be the bigger woman and you would bite the bullet and you would allow there to be like
there was something about it that rubbed me a very wrong way it felt a little pat it felt
a lot passive-aggressive very passive-aggressive um i just felt like just to say well i reach out
and then and then they don't reach out to Lexi and it's like, it's fine.
You don't have to.
Meanwhile, there's like a drill going on.
It's a jackhammer.
I'm telling you, they've been building.
They're like tearing apart the streets of my whatever.
No, but to to say to say, oh, you can do whatever you want to do to me, but don't do it to my kid.
It's like, don't play that to my kid it's like don't
play that like that's i found it to be very manipulative and she can forgive the man who
cheats on her and screws around all over town because he's got a lot of money in a giant house
that she can live in but when it comes to the rest of her family it's like oh you get in that you
get in some stupid housewives fight and you never speak again now that said i can totally imagine
wanting to leave any family
that jacqueline's a part of because just looking at how this dumb hoe acts on twitter you can
imagine what being in her family is like and getting in an argument with someone like that
so these are all of jacqueline's tweets i don't even these aren't dated but these were posted by
michael cook and they're so funny and people were talking about their twitter and i read it last
night and i was like oh god this is so hard to read by the way what what you're hearing in the background is actually
the sound that i hear when jacqueline talks this is what i hear in my head it just sounds like a
jackhammer and why wasn't she at the reunion what was that about maybe there maybe a new old country buffet opened. And like, took priority.
I think she didn't go to the reunion because she doesn't want people asking about her own financial issues that she's about to go to jail for.
Well, Dina probably also is like, I'm not going to be there.
Wait, hold on one second.
I'm going to try to adjust this jackhammer situation.
Hold on one second.
Sing a song, Ronnie.
Adjust that jackhammer.
Maybe they're creating a new crosswalk.
Maybe they're creating a diagonal crosswalk.
Crosswalks.
Am I right, guys?
Hurry up, Ben.
Okay, I'm back.
I'm back.
Sorry.
I tried to fix the jackhammer situation.
I don't know if it really helped or not, but it was actually loud in here.
I don't hear it.
Well, that's good.
You did it.
We're such a professional podcast, aren't we?
So listen to these Jacqueline tweets.
Yeah.
Dina wouldn't meet with Chris.
I tried to get them to meet.
I think Dina hurts her parents more by not making amends with family members,
never attending family holidays, and making them split their time that is fucking annoying when
your parents have to go to like two places because you can't get along with your sisters and brothers
yeah it shouldn't work that way it's supposed to be the other way around your parents supposed to
be divorced you're supposed to have like two holidays with their parents not your parents
have to go to places yeah lexi is old enough to drive over and talk to her uncle if she wanted
to or was allowed, Nick understands
more than he can say or express.
Maybe Dina wasn't invited to
Lauren's engagement party because she told us
we were dead to her and that she was dead to us.
She got what she wanted.
Instead of lying to the public that our family was
fine, how about sincerely trying to resolve
our issues? Parents would like that more.
Seems Dina intentionally left out
we invited Lexxi to dinner
to celebrate her graduation since they didn't want to meet beforehand no response and then the last
text is the best i have no words since motherfucking when jacqueline i fucking hate jacqueline you know
the thing is i actually feel like i actually believe what she's saying but she's such she's
so again whiny and passive aggressive are always wondering how she could, like, produce such an awful daughter in Ashley.
It's just, it's right there.
All the evidence is right there.
I think that Jacqueline is very immature.
And that's not, this is not the way to handle it.
Like, don't, if you have a situation like this, don't, like, trot it out on Twitter.
Be the better person.
And just, it's just, no, these people, they're incapable.
So, my favorite tweet of hers, Cindy C
posted on our page. This is
what Jacqueline wrote
at some point yesterday.
Jacqueline says, listen, if you
all want this Twitter feud to end, then
don't keep tweeting us about it because you are
reopening wounds and it's hard for us not
to respond. Like,
it's not our fault that you're an
idiot okay if you don't want to be in a twitter feud and you don't want people to write tweet
tweet at you then just shut down your twitter and people mention everything on twitter they can
mention your blouse on twitter you don't sit there and like accuse somebody else of making you wear
it for five hours in that case my the best was kathy going what is this why don't you all just
get off the twitter i mean what is it quada it's you all just get off the Twitter? I mean, what is it? Twatter?
It's Twatter.
Rosie.
Rosie was saying that.
What did I say?
You said Kathy.
Oh.
Because Rosie.
I love Rosie.
She's like, you know what you got to do to Twitter?
You got to go up to it and punch it in the face.
You know, like an assassin.
Like a silent assassin.
Shoot it with your fist.
You know what I says your fist you know what I says but you know what okay so
speaking of Kathy by the way
one thing I want to talk about is when they
showed the clip of
Kathy and her family
talking about the Teresa situation
and Teresa's aunt says
you know like when you do the wrong thing
it's going to catch up to you and you're going to go to jail
and then Teresa she didn't even go that far all she said was says, you know, like when you do the wrong thing, it's going to catch up to you and you're going to go to jail.
And then Teresa walks out. Well, she didn't even go that far.
All she said was if you do the wrong thing, it catches up to you.
That's it.
Like simple karma.
So Teresa stands up.
She's like, I want to go to the bathroom.
I got to go to the bathroom.
I'm like, ooh, a penny.
So that really drove me crazy because to me that was classic Teresa.
That was the lack of accountability, lack of responsibility.
You can't plead guilty to a crime and then get mad when someone says if you do the wrong thing, which is what pleading guilty acknowledges.
If you do the wrong thing, it's going to catch up to you.
She should have said, Teresa should have said, you know what, she's right.
But instead she makes it, again, playing this victim thing.
Like, family shouldn't say that.
No, you shouldn't be defrauding people.
Yeah, I'm like, how could she?
How could anybody say that?
You are wrong.
You are ass backwards wrong.
Everybody knows you're wrong.
You are going to jail.
You don't get special rights.
It's like, oh, you did something, you defrauded people and now all of a sudden it's bad all of a sudden your your lovely aunt who's
been lovely all every season every time she shows up she's like the most lovely woman in the history
of this series and every time and and she's the one who's the bad guy because she mentions that
like you know if you do something wrong it's going to catch up to you. Yeah, it's called karma bitch. Or do unto others if you'd rather get biblical about it.
You know what?
It just shows it's like a spoiled little brat.
You know, like, throwing a tantrum.
It's like Melania.
This is where Melania gets it from, you know?
Like, you're in trouble.
You're caught.
And what do you do?
You throw a tantrum.
Well, part of me feels like giving her kind of a break,
only because she had just been sentenced.
But then I just start laughing because Teresa's trying so hard to reject this new, you know, that's the old Teresa.
That's the old Teresa.
Watching her neck things pop while all this was happening and her about to fucking go crazy and start hitting people.
Because she just hates Kathy with every bit of her.
And this whole season was a clusterfuck because of how they did it. They really did tell people, your family members are gone.
And then tricked them by bringing them suddenly back in.
You know, like the Kathy, Jacqueline.
So she was kind of tricked.
So part of me felt bad.
But then I was dying when she went to the bathroom and her mic was on.
And she was like, I can't be in there.
What, you got gum?
You got a candy?
You got a gum?
You got a candy?
You got candy? You got gum? I was like, oh my God, who is this poor in there. What, you got gum? You got a candy? You got a gum? You got a candy? You got candy?
You got gum?
I was like, oh, my God, who is this poor PA stuck in the bathroom with fucking Teresa about to get their ass kicked?
Because she sounded like she was going to beat them up.
And she's not – I guess she thought they turned off her mic.
But – and thank God she wasn't going, like, too crazy back there.
But she was being a total to whoever she was whoever she was with
and it was funny because she's such a faker and she doesn't think anybody can hear her being real
back there she's like what ah that's ridiculous i ain't going out there you tell them to get out
then i'll come back but i'm not going you got gum you got candy oh a penny look see a penny pick it
up no i'm not going out oh my god this is literally a dumb and. And then I love how crafty Andy is.
So she comes back and is like, well, we were just talking about this.
I just want to know what you're feeling.
She's like, I don't want to talk about it.
He's like, no, no, no.
We just want to talk.
We just want to see how you feel about it.
She's like, I don't want to talk about it.
He's like, no, no, but just, you know, you know, did you feel anything?
And then she starts to talk about it.
You know, that's what I love.
He sort of like tricks them into saying it.
Dina's like, next topic.
Shut up.
Yeah.
Another thing that made me feel bad during this part was crosswalks.
Just kidding.
Another part that made me feel bad was Kathy.
Okay.
Kathy.
Look.
Kathy.
People on our page call Kathy out for being a shit-stirring whatever, and I agree.
But you've got to feel for somebody who is trying so hard.
Here she is getting a second chance.
She's coming back.
She's as positive as she can be during the season, really.
I mean, she didn't get to film any drama anyway.
But then she comes back.
All she's trying to do is just say one thing on the reunion.
Teresa walks off, ignores her, does whatever she can to ruin Kathy's two seconds on the reunion.
And Kathy's about to cry.
And I don't really think Kathy is obviously not crying about Teresa because she hates Teresa.
Let's face it.
She's crying because it's like poor thing just cannot win.
She's always going to have that roadblock in her way, you know?
Yeah.
Well, you know, here's why I love – I've always loved Kathy.
And, you know, here's why Kathy is more or less of a class act, at least compared to these women.
As sort of morbid as this sounds, it came to light that her daughter Victoria, her brain tumor came back, which is awful.
But she said everything's okay and everything, which is great.
You know, she's this really sweet girl, and that's awful.
You don't want that.
She's too young.
But Kathy could have used that as a trump card for every single thing that was happening on that reunion.
Like, anything that Amber said about the cancer, it's like, Kathy's like, well, my daughter has brain cancer.
Anything that, like, was about, like, about Nicholas, well well my daughter has brain cancer anything that like was about like about Nicholas well
my daughter has brain cancer
like anything about family well my daughter has brain cancer
I know the value of family like every single thing
she could have just shut everything down
but you know what though she didn't because she's a classy lady
yeah I mean the brain
cancer thing was like one segment and then
it was mentioned a couple of times it's not like
the cancer the cancer the cancer the cancer the cancer
oh god we haven't even talked about Amber and the and then it was mentioned a couple of times. It's not like the cancer, the cancer, the cancer, the cancer, the cancer.
Oh, God.
We haven't even talked about Amber and the twins.
Yeah, I was going to say, speaking of cancer, let's talk about those twins.
Oof.
Ugh.
Oof.
Like two little melanomas.
They sat there with these looks on their faces the entire time,
rolling their eyes, ready to go, and they just never... Any chance that they could
jump in and be like, well, you said something
about my mother. Yeah, it's like, oh,
everyone's worried about family. What about my
family? What about my old mother?
Who got made fun of?
They don't come after family on Twitter? I disagree.
They come after old family members on
Twitter all the time.
And they couldn't... No one would play into it.
No, Amber would, of course, because Amber's in the same boat as they are.
But everyone else just looks at them like they're fucking retarded.
And they don't get a chance.
And I was dying that they kept trying to start this war about the mother and this and that,
and nobody would play into it.
I know.
I love it.
I mean, that's real Housewives hate.
You know, like most of the Housewives hate is like fun hate,
and they probably go to dinner after and have a good time
because they're giving each other screen time, you know?
It's like, yeah, I embarrassed you,
but I also got you 10 minutes of solid screen time.
So they kind of like each other.
But when you really hate a bitch, you just ignore her
because those girls don't get any screen time at all.
And I was dying the whole time.
Because they just look horrible.
They look so stupid.
And then when they're like, oh, but we're twins.
And we're different people.
So why don't you treat us like we're different people instead of just one person?
You have a brain.
You're smart.
Oh, God.
If you want to be treated like different people,
why are you in every scene together
dressing the same,
getting the same tits? Shut up, both of you.
Shut up. Get off this show.
I know. I know. I agree.
They're just
some of the worst casting decisions
that Bravo has ever made in the history
of the network. But I heard that they're all coming
back.
That's crazy.
How could that be?
How can that be true?
I guess it is. What else?
Melissa versus Dina.
That was interesting.
Dina, social media, tree walks off.
Ooh, a penny.
Ooh, a penny.
And I guess that's it, right?
What else happened?
Joe Gorga came out at the end and got choked up.
Who cares?
He got choked up.
This is my family.
This is my family.
What are you going to do?
So what?
Yeah.
What are you doing right now?
You're awfully quiet over there.
No, I'm listening.
I'm listening to you.
Are you looking at the internet?
No, that's not true.
You are looking at the internet.
I was trying to see if there was...
I was looking on the Facebook page to see if...
Yeah, you see, guys?
I know.
I know what's happening over there.
But I was listening to you, too.
You were having a twin rant.
I liked it.
No.
It's over.
Either way, I'm excited for next...
Well, for Thursday.
Thursday's episode when Andy says to Jim Marchese, like, well, you are kind of a disaster on social media.
Oh, God, Jim's coming out next week.
Yikes.
Yeah, that's going to be terrible.
Well, let's move on from the Real Housewives of New Jersey.
Because I am sick of their shit.
I agree.
because i am sick of their shit i agree i am i am ready to put this season to bed and then to put that bed into shut up mountain volcano
there's a volcano the season uh like a quarter of the length why are the reunions the length
of the entire season that's so i know because this season is so bad. I would love to get the behind-the-scenes story on what their decisions were.
I mean, they clearly had to just truncate the whole thing.
I do have to give Andy credit for one thing because I know I diss Andy a lot on this show.
So whenever he does something I love, it's really important for me to stand up and say it.
And I think that when Andy called Melissa the the queen of dumpsters what did he call
her oh yeah i don't remember what he called her queen of queen of queen of sanitation he called
her oh and then he's like so you're the new queen of sanitation she looked like she was gonna punch
him when he said that and then uh he's, so explain to us what's happening with your house.
Okay, Melissa is the worst liar.
So last year they said they sold their mansion.
Now they're in this huge rental.
He really gave it to Melissa, actually, now that I think about it.
So they go into this rental, and he's like, oh, Twitter's mad that your daughter was calling it a dump.
And it's like five times the size of a normal house.
And she's like, well, it's a child's privilege, and she didn't mean it.
And then he asked her about the sanitation thing in her house
because they said they sold their house,
and now they're building this new mansion, but they didn't.
They rented it.
Yeah.
And the guy they rented it to never paid the rent,
so they had to evict him.
So instead of saying that and just clearing it up because
she's already lied about it before she said oh well it was an extended close and so he was
supposed to do certain things during that time that he didn't it was just stupid and dean is
over there rolling her eyes which i love uh stupid melissa but even you know this season was so stupid
that even stupid melissa didn't get taken down i mean if this was last year, Teresa would have been calling all that shit out the whole time.
It would have been entertaining.
Melissa did nothing this season.
You know what I liked also in this reunion was when they did the segment of strange housewives talk when they all were saying things incorrectly or making up their own words.
And normally when they do those segments, they sort of do like a picture-in-picture.
They put like a little, you see the housewives watching it
at the reunion in the corner.
And normally they're like hysterically laughing,
but you could see that they all were like looking like,
wait, why is this funny?
Like, what did we say wrong?
They're totally like dumbfounded as to why.
Like they're smiling because they know they're supposed to,
this is like light-hearted segment,
but they have no idea what's wrong.
They don't understand what massive jokes they are.
I love it.
Yeah, I love it too.
That show needs to go.
So excited for Beverly Hills and Atlanta.
That's going to be an amazing...
Amazing.
Amazing.
Amazing.
Well, speaking of Beverly Hills...
Let's move on to something else being let's let's speak in
beverly hills and lisa vanderpump why don't we talk about vanderpump rules does it ever
oh it's so good by the way ronnie i went to pump last night finally and what'd you think being
well i thought it was just like another version i'm sorry i just knocked my
keys over um i thought it was another version of sir and you know i mean i know the back room of
sir right yeah i know we've talked about it a lot like you always talk about how it's like for like
basically old queens you think they're fancy which i agree with i think it's like prettier than sir
it still has that like euro trash quality to it giant giant things like giant plant doorways
and yeah giant planters i was trying to order a drink last night from the bar keep in mind there
were like three people at the bar it took me 10 minutes to get a drink from this bartender
and like one of the reasons that there was a problem is that he couldn't see me because
in each corner of this square bar there is a huge planter with an even bigger topiary in it. Imagine
Cheers. Imagine a beer that's the shape of Cheers.
And in each corner,
there's like a giant planter.
First of all, it's tacky.
Have you noticed how the bar hits the back
corners? Yeah.
It's like
it doesn't make sense because it actually, you need
you shouldn't have giant things on the bar because you need to be able to see the bartender.
The bartender needs to be able to see you.
And you have to be able to move around the bar.
The bar hits the back walls in a way that you can't walk through there.
And when you're totally slammed with people, only two people who are standing in the middle of the bar can be served.
Yeah.
It's a frustrating setup.
All to show off your weird, giant
potters.
So the thing that sort of irks me
about the place is that
when Lisa Vanderpump
says on Vanderpump Rules,
well, you know, Villablanca is
where you take your wife, and Sir
is where you take your girlfriend, and then
she's like, and Pump is where you take your boyfriend. There is where you take your girlfriend and then she's like and pump is where you take your boyfriend there's nothing about pump that's like exceptionally like oh
this is where you take your boyfriend like when you open up a restaurant a place called pump
i expect go-go dancers i expect platforms i expect fog machines i expect you're so scandal it means
to be like the abbey they needed to do like because you know the Abbey was taken over by SBE, right?
SBE, right, yeah.
So that's been gone for a while.
So now it's more straight people there.
And I don't know.
It's still the best because it's outside and stuff.
But they should have made it like the Abbey, old school, like the independent Abbey.
We're not owned by like some big awful corporation.
We're just another fun
guard we're we're what the abbey used to be basically yeah have the hottest dancers have
a beautiful outside area but this is like a snooty tooty restaurant and no one wants to sit
on that corner at a restaurant that's why it's all straight people in there and then like yeah
exactly it's not very good and shit it's you know what, it's like the taste level, it sort of has like
the tacky taste level of like
sort of like an old queen, you know?
So it's sort of gay in that sense.
But the rest, it just sort of has that like sort of
Euro trash kind of feel to it. It's a place,
again, it's just an extension of Sur.
And it's too restaurant-y.
It's way too restaurant-y. But it is prettier.
It is pretty. Like the trees,
like the lighting is very nice.
It's, like, it's cute.
But it should have been.
It's pretty, yeah.
But why would you call it, like, you just can't call something pump and then have it be, like, a delicate space with trees and hanging lights.
Yeah, a restaurant.
And then to advertise on television in your TV show that's basically you're doing so that people will come to your restaurant, right?
And it works, of course.
that's basically you're doing so that people will come to your restaurant right and it works of course then you go on there and not only admit but brag that your chef is chef penny from the
food network star i know oh my god chef penny the big one of the one of the biggest bitches that
that show has ever seen and one of the biggest idiots i mean her her whole thing on the food
network star was to be sexy do you remember remember that? Oh, my God, yes.
She would do that thing with her hand.
And so she was being a total whore about it.
She's like, today we're making Swedish meat balls.
Yeah!
She's like the least sexy woman that has ever graced that poor show.
She's like, just really, really unsexy. Like, really and truly unsexysexy all that food she's pitching to lisa she's like what about salmon carpaccio and lisa's like that is so sexy oh yeah really not yeah like why
don't you pick everything from the 80s it's like how about mozzarella and tomato and we'll stack it
up oh that sounds amazing, darling.
There were like a few things. I wish I could remember what they were,
but I had that same thought.
Are you kidding me?
Yeah, meatball. I was like, why is that sexy?
There's nothing sexy about it.
It's like devil's eggs.
And here's the thing.
Here's something I hate for an angle on a restaurant.
Sexy.
It's the stupidest angle on food.
And you know the food
network star they do get people on there every time they're like this is food for like you know
you want to cook for your date or this is sexy food there's some one uh damaris was like that
and she actually won and she was a double she was a double she was sexy and it was a dating thing
and her show was like i'm to help you cook something for your girlfriend.
And she would shimmy.
And they were like, please stop shimming, Damaris.
And she's like, oh, I feel so stupid.
I actually didn't hate Damaris.
But the thing is, though, like, sexy food is, like, I feel like that's also, like, a very dated approach.
And it's always going to be cheesy.
And that's why, again, why Pump fails and why Sir fails because it tries to be sexy.
And the music in there that they play, it's like, you know, when you go onto a restaurant website and it's always flash and really annoying.
And this like annoying, like weird European take on like Argentinian music comes up.
You hear like an accordion and like a bossa nova beat.
But it's like very cool.
That's the music.
The music at pump is basically
flash website music oh no no no what's happening to her i think she did it's gonna be a success i
think she did a really good thing with sir i think sir that whole outdoor area is really nice
you can have drinks i mean it's a restaurant but you can also just go there for drinks and not feel weird about it like at Sir.
Yeah.
I mean, like at Pump.
But Pump, pretty, but she doesn't – she needs –
It's not the right –
It just needs to be – like she needs to get a feng shui person and someone to just come in and be like, make it a gay bar.
Fuck this like terrible food and snotty people sitting around in linen suits.
This is not going to work, okay?
No, it needs to be –
You're at the corner of Robertson and Santa Monica.
Okay.
You need strippers.
Yeah.
You already have.
It's like the exact same restaurant as Sir.
Like, that's the way it feels.
Like, you don't.
It needs strippers.
Thank you.
Just strippers.
That spot is doomed anyway.
That corner is doomed.
It's never been anything good.
It was a coffee shop called.
Yeah.
Java Detour.
And it's where, like, the sober gays went yeah and i was
like that's nice that there's a coffee because you know like there's a lot of addicts and stuff
who are trying to reform and stuff and i think that that's great and it's really mature to see
that in the gay community because you know once you start down that crystal meth road you never
come back but you're putting it in between bars on the busiest bar corner like that
is not gonna work nobody's gonna sit in the coffee shop all night well the funny thing is that here
they're trying to have this like cool vibe next door is mother load this bar and tuesday nights
are manhole it's like manhole night or something it's called manhole so they're trying to have this sexy vibe and you hear over this in this vibe because it's like why are you trying to
do this vibe next to manhole yeah man that can't work i love gay names for shit like there's no
uh subtlety at all so like manhole the dick yeah well that's why pump the bar that's why pump should be like a nasty
old place yeah i mean even if it's new just remove some of that foofy shit put some naked guys on top
of the bar have gigantic martinis and you're done what else you need yeah exactly why is it so hard
people it's not hard.
My only recommendation is don't get a staff like Sir, because as we saw on this season premiere, they are still as dysfunctional and awful as ever.
Yeah, they really are.
And that show is so funny. I mean, this show has such amazing quotes throughout the whole thing.
Insta fight, like an Instagram fight? Come on.
Well, once again,
our season kicked off
with yet another cheating scandal. Like, every season
is an accusation of cheating,
and you know it's going to go
seven or eight episodes of Tom
being like, no, I didn't
sleep with her. I'm very up front with
Ariana. We're very open.
I didn't sleep with her. I didn't upfront with Ariana. We're very open. I didn't sleep with her.
I didn't do it.
Why are you trying to tear us down, Kristen?
Why are you doing that, Kristen?
And then on episode eight, fine, I slept with her.
I just didn't want to say it.
I didn't want to hurt anyone.
I just wanted to go away.
I'm sorry.
Now you've ruined everything.
You know that's what's going to happen.
Totally.
Because it happens every single season.
Yeah.
So supposedly he cheated on her, and then the story he told her was, well, we didn't want to just show up without girls, so we got a bunch of girls to ride in with us.
But then he did have a picture of himself sleeping later with his iPad in bed.
That was the funniest picture ever.
By the way, I love the way the producers just shamed these cast members by posting as many embarrassing photos of them from Instagram or their past as possible.
They keep coming back for that $500 a week or whatever.
So this started off with Jackson having a new girlfriend.
Oh, you mean girlfriends?
Well, we only saw one.
Yeah.
Right now he's only got one for all we know
yeah
yeah she's
previously seen in the movie
Chicken Run
and uh
I believe she was
one of the chickens
that was concerned
about the plane
that they built
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So he's got this girlfriend and Jax is on the Teresa Giudice tour where he's like, I'm a good person now.
I'm a good person now.
Oh, I've changed so much.
I'm such a good person.
Well, I started watching this early.
So I was watching the reunion from last year first.
Oh, my God.
All that stuff.
And it's like, you just fucked your best friend's girlfriend.
Do you feel bad at all?
And he's like, no, I don't understand.
I mean, I ask people, why don't understand i mean i ask people why
don't i feel anything because you're a sociopath okay i don't feel anything that's not good that's
not something you should be admitting in public cat killer cat killer so this year he's like oh
now i'm a totally different person um which you you know you can't just get you just can't stop
being a sociopath so yeah it's that's going to be fun to watch.
Well, you know, the reunion aired probably, what, February or so?
Maybe March, somewhere around there.
They probably started filming this in April,
considering that Pump opened over Gay Pride, which is June.
So essentially he's had maybe six weeks, eight weeks of personal growth
where he's suddenly become a different person. I don't buy it. He does look totally different, though. Yeah, I mean, he definitely looks like maybe six weeks, eight weeks of personal growth where he's suddenly become a different person.
I don't buy it.
He does look totally different, though.
Yeah, I mean, he definitely looks older and wiser.
He looks older.
Yeah.
I'm not sure what that is.
We've already talked about this, so I don't want to go too far into it.
I'm guessing fillers.
But, yeah, there is something definitely weird.
You know, I think I saw Jax on Halloween, by the way.
I don't know if this is even significant. But I think I saw him and he was dressed as Clark Kent doing one of those costumes, Clark Kent with Superman.
I could be wrong.
I'm going to look right now to see what Jax's Halloween costume was, but I think I saw him on the street.
I mean, look, he's still – as much as we like rag on him for looking older or I thought he looked fat in the reviews, whatever, he's still hot.
I mean, listen.
Yeah, he's really hot. We hold him to a different
standard. We hold him to a model standard.
Of course. It's like those
queens who make fun of fashion models and stuff.
I don't know.
I just don't want to be that gay.
Have you seen that clip, The Disgustings
with Drew Droege?
I did watch it.
Don't let that be me.
I think it probably already is. But please don't let it be me. I'll change. I'll change. Too awful gay, guys. Oh, my God. Don't let that be me. I think it probably already is.
But please don't let it be me.
I'll change.
I'll change.
Jax is so nice.
He's going to change.
Everything's going to be great, guys.
Yeah.
He will be wonderful.
I'm trying to find this Halloween costume.
I don't know if I can find it.
Okay.
So, Sheena pulls Tom aside.
Oh, so this is a Sheena's party.
Okay.
So, now everybody's heard this rumor wait
where are my notes i'm missing the first part of these i don't know well what's the the most
important thing with sheena before you get it i have to say on my notes i put uh jackson jacks is
a new person now being fat makes you nicer lol oh that's not nice i don't know why i had to read
that out loud okay go ahead sorry no i was
going to say that um she knows big thing is that she got a tattoo on her forearm she's like i got
a tattoo it's like it's like my favorite quote from almost famous so it says it's all happening
because you know it's all happening she needed to just write on there almost famous because that
that would have actually worked.
That would have been not only a tattoo, but a label.
Or just almost.
Because I feel like that's what her life is.
Almost.
It's all happening.
And then the whole rest of the episode, she put her hand to her hair and you just see it's all happening.
It's the stupidest quote.
Not profound.
Oh, Sheena.
You know it's going to be a bumpy season when one of the first scenes is horse face and a thong.
Yikes!
Oh, no.
Seriously?
Seriously?
Do I need to see that?
Seriously?
And I like that she said, it starts by her talking about dating that young twink bartender. And then she said, happy looks good on me.
I just wrote, it looks like she's been crying. Because it did. It looks like she's been crying.
Because it did.
It looks like she's all puffy and sad.
And she's like, happy looks good on me.
Oh, my God.
By the way, pause.
Jax.
I did see Jax.
Because I'm looking at his photos right now.
And he's Clark Kent.
I saw him.
He walked by me while I was trying to get a lift.
You should have touched his butt.
I know.
He looked good.
I'm telling you. I'm telling you.
I'm telling you.
He does a Clark Kent seat very well.
Anyway.
So I just totally interrupted.
No, it's okay.
I'm just reading from my notes.
I wrote Tom and Tariana believe in each other.
They're like, we believe that we can do anything.
And I'm like, yeah, but you're still bartenders.
So I don't think it's working.
I had that exact same thought.
Like, what are you guys believing in like i believe in your mojito skills baby yeah thanks
for the support babe she's like yeah i got whatever i was like gonna say something about
getting starship lyrics on his forearm but i couldn't remember the lyrics. Cause we can stand in man together.
Nothing's gonna matter.
Nothing's gonna stop us now.
Except the lack of talent and bills and
stunning powers because we have to make mojitos
all night.
And Kristen, my crazy ex, and her new boyfriend.
I think I said this last year,
but this Adriana
girl, Ariana Adrianaana she doesn't look like
her but she has the exact same facial movements as amy adams i've already said that like the way
she smiles and squints her eyes it's creepy it's like amy adams playing a digital version of like
how they do it in lord of the rings where they just put shit on their faces so you can see their facial expressions
except now they're a monkey?
Is that called digital acting?
Yeah. You guys, I'm gonna be a digital actor,
okay? I'm gonna have Amy
Adams' face grafted onto my face.
It's all happening. I'm not gonna be a podcaster
anymore. Now I'm gonna be a digital actor.
Seriously, Tom? Seriously?
You think you're so cool because, like,
your girlfriend has amy adams
face grafted onto her like seriously i can get sigourney weaver onto my face like seriously
speaking of i just saw her for the first time have you ever seen that movie
oh i thought you meant sigourney weaver no i love her though too i love her i once was on an
airplane with her and i felt like it was the most magical experience of my life
i was like she's so classy because i was like i was sort of near the front of uh coach so i could
see into like business class and i could see sigourney weaver and i was like she's so classy
up there and like she like took her sweater off and then then like wrapped it around her at one
point i was like oh is there anything is there anything she can't do? And then I got a tattoo that said, it's all happening.
It's all happening.
Sigourney's taking off her sweater.
She's folding it now.
It's going under the seat.
It's going under the seat.
I was like, seriously?
Sigourney?
Sigourney?
Sigourns.
I loved also at the beginning of this episode that Katie is trying to be the new Stassi
no Katie I'm sorry
you crock eyed
horse face number two
I know
you are not the new Stass okay
sit back down
she's going too hard
she's like I'm working the squirrel right now Sheena
well what I liked is that when Sheena was like
you know when I come to my birthday party, it's gonna be like
McSolid, they've got like a lot of good tequila, and
Katie's like, you know, I'm really
sick of this like tequila Katie reputation, and
like, to invite me to her party,
and then she insults me in the same sentence,
it's just like so rude. I'm like, I think she was just
talking that they have a good tequila selection, that's
all. Yeah.
I think she said they don't have
tequila. Oh, maybe that's- Yeah, I think she was like, I don't know if you want to come to my party, they don't have tequila oh maybe that's
yeah I think she was like
I don't know if you want to come to my party
they don't have tequila
it's all happening
it's all happening at my birthday
my birthday's gonna be at the Chuck E. Cheese and Azusa
will you come
I'm getting the key to Azusa
from the mayor
it opens at Chuck E. Cheese but that's all I'm getting the key to Azusa from the mayor.
It opens the Chuck E. Cheese, but that's all.
It only opens the Chuck E. Cheese
in the big lots.
And the scrunchie store.
And the Claire's boutique.
That's all.
It opens up the elephant bar
and that's it it's all happening
um i'm a horrible person when we talk i'm even worse when i write things down because i wrote
katie's new hair makes her look fat that is not nice i liked her new hair wait i like that's true
it was a it was a nice improvement over her strange, like, orange. Well, it wasn't last year's hair, so that's good.
Last year was like an Orange Julius disaster.
Yeah.
Last year was like an Iron.Ronald McDonald.
She's like, I'm getting Nikita Azusa now, too.
So Lisa finally shows up.
And I love that Lisa is just a bitch to everybody.
I think it's so funny.
But she does it with such a laugh.
And that's why I always love her.
Because when she's telling Jax, enjoy your job here, darling, because you can't work at Pump.
You look like an old grandpa over there.
Like, oh, my God.
Poor thing.
He's already getting a nose job.
What the hell do you want from him, Lisa?
He's going to start cutting up his whole face soon.
I'm glad he's getting
a nose job, only because
I have noticed that he's super nasally
and I would like to... Cocaine?
Guess what? He's going to fuck up his
nasal passage too, unless they make
it out of rubber or something that you can easily
clean cocaine out of.
Well, luckily he has syphilis, probably, so I'm sure
the nose will fall off any time anyway.
He's like, thought that I could breathe again. My whole plan was to get syphilis, probably, so I'm sure the nose will fall off any time anyway. He's like, finally, I can breathe again.
My whole plan was to get syphilis, that way my nose would fall off.
Is that what happens to syphilis?
Finally, syphilis is good for something.
I think that's leprosy.
I thought syphilis did something to your nose.
I'm going to look it up.
Leprosy is that thing in the Bible that people would get in their limbs and fall off and shit.
You know, I'm really sorry. I keep interrupting you. i keep on doing internet searches and then like and then i get learning and then i get excited and i go by the way as
if like this is really important but i typed in syph and then syphilis came up and then the next
thing was syphilis nose no way do it do it do it all right i'm not gonna do it i'll tell you one
thing i'm not gonna do an image search oh my god don't do that nose oh so um you get a saddle nose
uh deformation so there's that what is that it does something to your nose i think it
it does something i mean i think it makes your nose it does something. I mean, I think you make, makes your nose bold.
That's actually,
Oh my God,
between syphilis and cocaine.
That guy doesn't stand a chance.
God bless him.
His nose will be like,
which one?
That's actually why his nose is fairly intact because the syphilis is trying to grow it.
And the cocaine is trying to have a way at it.
One thing I'm loving about this young cast is they're younger,
but they're still doing all the things that the older people do,
like the Botox and the lifts
and the weird things to their faces,
but they're not really old enough
to be doing it yet.
And I cannot wait to see
what Jax looks like in five years,
because you know it's going to be crazy.
Oh, you know his eyebrows are going to be
like up at the top of his head.
Yeah, he's going to have
some Mickey work action going on.
Oh, he definitely will.
So I love when he was talking about how their friend him and tom uh tom are friends again and he's like
well it took me a while to realize what remorse was what like he literally didn't even know what
it was he's like he did tom a favor well he's like, for the longest time, I thought remorse was just like that language that people use to communicate during wars.
Lisa Matt at Stassi.
Well, I love it's like,
I was like, oh, underwear Stassi, and then she comes
driving up, and it's like, well,
I moved to New York, but then
as soon as I got there, my boyfriend, six months later,
had to move back to LA.
It's like, fine. I'm like, yeah, I'm sure that's exactly what happened.
It's more like you got a call from Bravo saying, we're going to give you $1,300 for you to be on the show for 13 weeks.
Yeah.
And she's like, I can't pass that up.
That's like a hot dog in New York.
By the way, can we talk about Kristen's new boyfriend?
Is it too early?
I don't want to jump ahead in your notes.
No, no.
I mean, this show is so silly.
The notes are literally, like, Kristen rumor about social media.
Tom wanted proof girl was on period.
Gossipy Brit gay guy, LOL.
Shay cries, oh, Lord.
Kristen asked herself questions.
Oh, Kristen asking herself questions.
Do I want them to be together?
No.
Do I care if they're together?
Yes.
Do I like them?
Seriously?
Yes.
Seriously?
No.
Seriously?
Seriously.
So, yes, let's talk about the new Fagito Burrito that has wormed his way into the horse.
So this guy is, I forget what his name is his name
jamie or something his name should be jamie so he what's hilarious is he's like yeah you know like
in england like i'm a dj and like i'm really big i toured with oak and fold and this person
that's the person they show photos of him dead mouse i don't know um moby dick yeah and ching Deadmau5. And also two in there. MobyDick. Yeah.
And Ching Chong.
And, you know, the iPod fallacy.
And, you know, the keychain conspiracy.
I was the first person of one of my friends. I was the first person of all of my friends to have the iPhone 5.
Yeah, I actually got it.
I got it directly from Steve Jobs himself.
Like, he gave it to me.
Like, so I love to me. Like,
so I love,
he's like saying all this stuff.
I'm like,
all right. So you tour with all these acts and you're a bus boy.
Yeah.
Did you bring me some more water and then tell me about Steve Jobs?
That would be great.
Yeah.
That'd be really wonderful.
When did people stop serving bread with dinner?
When did that happen?
Is that an LA thing?
Bus boy.
Okay.
Remedy that. Okay. And then we'll talk. thing, busboy? Okay, remedy that, okay?
And then we'll talk about your Steve Jobs story.
I know.
It was so douchey.
And then when Tom told the story about how Tom was always, like, getting him drinks and stuff,
and then he used all his money to buy a BMW, and then he had the BMW selfies, I was like, oh, my God.
The gamer selfies.
It was so awful.
Like, it's like, you know like it's one of those things where
i always say there's like a carousel of awfulness you're like oh wait no this person's the worst
person in the episode no no this works then i said the bmw uh selfies and i was like oh he is
the worst okay first of all obviously he's just using horse face right and she's just using him
too so it's fair and i'm not going to stick up for her she's horse face so yeah obviously they're using each other they deserve each other whatever but then to be getting involved in all the
bullshit is gross like when he's saying oh well tom you know look at what tom's doing no one's
stopping tom do you think tom cares what do you think tom's thinking about this what do you think
tom's thinking about that oh you think tom gives a shit yeah tom's fucking everyone ever tom fuck
that girl oh my god like, oh my God.
What are you doing here?
Exactly.
Meanwhile, you know he's like
cheating on Kristen left and right.
With dudes.
He's probably got fingers up his butt
half the night of Sir.
Seriously?
Probably got Persian fingers up his butt
half that night.
It's all happening in his ass.
It's all happening on my butt.
The best part of the episode, well, there were a lot of best parts, but my favorite part was Tom not even punching the British guy, but just grabbing his face and pushing it down.
I know.
I was like, team Tom.
He did what America wants.
He spoke for America with that weird shove.
Yeah, that guy's disgusting.
And I love that they showed all of his Beamer selfies.
And Tom's like, why don't you go take a Beamer selfie?
And he's like, why don't you go take a Honda Civic from 1994 selfie, Tom?
He's like, you just want to be 22 again.
Well, I'm 22, and I have it all.
It's like, shut up.
Oh, my God.
He was so insufferable.
He's just like young, British, awful Stassi.
Oh, you're not going to be 22 for long.
And we'll be here waiting, waiting for it all to fall.
Yes.
You can always count on us, British jerk.
You want to see your future?
It's Jax Taylor.
Oh, but without working out.
I mean, could you imagine?
He looks like the guy.
He looks like Captain America before he got injected with all that stuff to make him strong.
He looked like the little wuss version of him.
You're too scrawny to be in the army, boy.
He's like, I just want to serve.
I just want to serve, officer.
Yeah, he's terrible
what else happened on the episode
so it's done
it's over we talked about all of it
so basically so Stassi's
you know what so Stassi was acting like
the girl who goes off to college
and then comes back
to high school like
Thanksgiving break
yeah like oh my god like you guys it's like all you guys just fight like I've been in New York comes back to high school at Thanksgiving break. You guys are so high school.
Oh my god.
You guys just fight. I've been in New York.
I have a boyfriend now.
I'm like, whatever Stassi.
I've taken a subway.
You are licking it all up, Stassi.
You were all about it.
Yeah.
Stassi is way too big for her little breeches. i've been in new york so i know a lot about
the financial industry now shut up stassi um stassi's still stupid and i love that she's back
on the show but not working at sir i think that's hilarious she's like i'll just be here i'll just
be here to party and like bring everybody down and then they started that um instagram war when
both parties were going on at the same time
and stassi's like you know our party's more fun i mean first of all all our friends like each other
and second of all did you see what tom was wearing at that party on instagram oh my god did you see
tom fucking that girl and then they spent the rest of the time just talking about the other party
i think that makes you the sadder one staff yeahass. Yeah, I think so. I think so.
My theory is that Stassi is going to come back into the surf fold, but I feel like she's going to be a manager, which will create chaos.
Oh, my God.
Because she would not go back to be a waitress, or at least that's not how the producers would have it.
I think it makes sense if she comes back as a manager and then she goes on a power trip.
I think it makes sense if she comes back as the manager and then she goes on a power trip.
Other favorite line from the show when Sheena – I love that Sheena's making everything about herself all the time.
Yes. Oh, yes.
Like it's her boyfriend who is cheating or something.
And she's like, Tom, I need to talk to you. Tom.
And she starts like trying to cry.
She's like, I can't cry because these eyelashes are made out of mink.
What?
Or how about like when – They're not made out of mink. What? Or how about, like, when... They're not made out of mink.
Or how about just when she hears about that there's, like, when Kristen tells her about the allegations and shows her text messages, and then she starts to cry.
I'm like, what?
Why are you crying?
It's all happening.
I love you guys.
I love both of you guys. I love all of you guys. And she's like, you know, it's like, I have an obligation as Ariana's best friend to report this stuff to her.
Like, no, she is not the IRS.
You don't have to, like, file a report on your gossip earnings.
You can just be quiet and shut it down and just not say anything.
Well, we know that Tom and Ariana worked out because they showed up
to Katie's nail thing together.
Yeah, we missed them.
That's too bad. Whatever, we could just go
to the book. We saw plenty of other waiters.
Yeah.
So, what else?
Let's move on.
Okay.
Sorry, that wasn't very nice. Do you have anything more
with Vanderpumps?
No.
With the Vanderpump rules?
I say, why don't we move on to Bravo's ultimate test of accent mockery.
Oh, my God.
You're also Hollywood.
Well, we should be ashamed of ourselves because we knew this show was coming.
We watched the preview of this show, and neither one of us went on YouTube to take accent classes.
But that's the fun of it.
If we actually sounded like them.
There are so many accents.
I don't even know what to do on this show.
My eyes were just spinning.
Well, I think I think I could do funny.
She's like, I'm funny.
I'm from Austria and I have a song, but I had sex with other people. I love my husband and my manager. I'm funny. I'm from Austria and I have a song but I had sex with other people. I lost my husband and my manager
I'm funny
Everything that moves I want to have sex with you. I'm sorry. I want to fuck everything and I have paintings. I like paintings
This is hippie this is how I have party now.
So that way I have, you know, funny.
People see funny.
Excuse me.
It's my party and I would like to make a toast.
Thank you.
Oh, my God. So we open this with Massimo, the Italian.
Yes, Massimo.
Who's like the probably most likely gay Italian who is a Renaissance man.
He can cook.
He can act.
He can sing.
He can write.
He's a poet. He can build homes. can act. He can sing. He can write. He's a poet.
He can build homes.
He can make cars.
He invented the light bulb.
Anything you want!
Except say the word put properly.
Put.
Put.
Put.
Put.
Put.
Put.
I love when he does his American accent.
Okay, now I'm speaking with a southern accent
good day mate hi hello let's go to the rodeo cowboy hey all i'm from the south
if we're making fun of your bad accent you know you're in trouble yeah um yeah massimo although he did
cook up a meal in this episode and i actually i believe that he can cook so i am not going to
ding him for that that's one thing i trust he is good at yeah he seems like a cute guy like he's
always trying super nice he actually seems very nice he's probably like a lot he's one of those
people that's like oh massimo is so nice we sort of have to be in the mood to hang out with him
yeah he's like how come nobody invites me to all the places
that you guys go to in america because you know he probably like asks a lot of things like oh
could you send me can you give me your like could you like pass my headshot along thank you so much
oh yeah totally he's one of those you know he's like those improv shows and yeah exactly like i can do this show
but i have to bring 15 people and you're like oh massimo i hate people like that by the way we're
doing a live show at the improv on january 25th trying to fill 100 seats so thanks um then we have
then we have uh leona leona is like madonna madonna of albinia and uh she doesn't give a fuck she
doesn't give a fuck about what you think you know what i don't like about bliona amongst many things
is that she's the type of person who's like like i'm a strong woman i could be i could do everything
like a man like don't say don't say i can't do something because i can do it and it's like
then and then as soon as she runs out of gas she like, will you fill up this gas tank for me? You're a man. You should be able to do this.
I'm just a woman.
Like, no, you can't do that, Leona.
Leona.
I love that.
She makes the gas station guy.
First of all, she's totally rude to him.
He's like, oh, is your car, is your gas empty?
She's like, no, I'm just here to say hi to you.
Okay, no, I'm here to say hi to you.
It's not about my gas.
I'm just at the gas station to say hi. He's like,'m here to say hi to you it's not about my gas i'm just at the gas
station to say hi he's like uh not getting the sarcasm at all and she's like how do you do this
this new so you come do it for me he's like no i can't leave the store she's like no you do it
you do it do it right now do it right now makes him do it and then she's like you don't know how
to work this and he's like i've never had to use it and she's like you're a man figure it out get it together you're a man what kind of
man are you oh no i thought she was really funny because she is just such an asshole oh she is like
when she was at the recording studio and uh there's like a sound engineer and she just gives
him the keys he's like okay can you just park this out front thank you very much didn't even say
thank you like thank you bye she's like i'm, can you just park this out front? Thank you very much. She didn't even say thank you.
Like, goodbye.
She's like, I'm parked in the middle of the street because I don't know how to park the car.
So you go park it for me, and then bring me some tea.
Yeah, bring me some tea.
Can someone secure this microphone stand?
It's too wobbly for me, okay?
One, two, three, four.
One, two, three, four.
Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me.
Which is literally how she sounded.
And then she's like, oh, I don't like this headphone.
Get me a different headphone.
These are from China.
Yeah.
I want good Albanian.
I want good Albanian headphone.
You know, it's made of made of rye bread and wires.
This is made out of the poor people from downtown in Albania.
You know, we take their bones and they have the perfect way to listen to things.
You know, you got out a baby's
bones and then you put the cord on it this is what i want do it i am the star here in albania i'm a
donna in albania the city has a hundred thousand people and a hundred thousand people came to my
concert that means i have like control over a hundred thousand people well guess what you
probably just sang in the town square that doesn't count as a concert yeah no kidding when your town
only has one store of course everybody's gonna go to it it's like here when there was like
lines around the block for a dunkin donuts because there's only one
i'm looking at leona what's leona leona leona singer star leona rock star singer star yeah she was i love that
she was talking about how her father was in the secret service so and she's a princess so she
used to just be able to call the government to do whatever she wanted but then the government
changed and then they were nothing so i'm wondering how much of her musical career was given to her because of that.
You know?
Probably about 100%.
Yeah.
And so now she's in America.
It's like, bitch,
you better get somebody on the city council or something.
You better get your dad on the city council.
Well, everyone wants to hear an Albanian pop star.
She's a billionaire.
Who doesn't want to hear it?
Who doesn't want to hear?
One, two, three, four.
You know what else we do in Albania that's very popular?
Potatoes.
Potatoes.
I have a song about potatoes.
Yeah.
Do you think people are going to give up potatoes?
No, they love us.
They love us.
I will make my way here.
I will be the first potato superstar.
I have a very famous song called
One potato, two potato, three potato whore
Because I'm a fame
whore blee oh nah it's a good song I'm looking for these video that was posted
on our timeline oh let's find blee on a video so let's find play for the people
hold on let me find it too because I'm on her Wikipedia page and you know
blee ona says I'm gonna write a check that says, fuck you, I want to sing now.
I'm going to make a song
called Fuck You, I'm Famous. Okay, here it is.
Fuck You, I'm Famous.
Oh, are you going to play it so I can hear it too?
Okay, play it. I'm going to sing along
because I'm Fuck You, Famous too.
I'm Fuck You, Famous.
Fuck You, Famous.
Fuck You, I'm Famous.
Fuck You, I'm Fam Fuck you I'm famous
Famous
I have a towel on my head
I drive a golden Lexus
I don't know how to put gas in my Lexus
I don't know how to read the gas gate in my Lexus
Lipstick
Lipstick and makeup and fonts sucks. And lipstick and makeup and
fonts over fonts.
I have a big forehead
and strange hair
cause I'm famous so fuck you
I'm famous.
Fuck you I'm famous.
I like
to drive around and stuff.
I listen to
things and talk to people
did you like it Ben?
you know I thought
I have to say Ronnie
when I'm listening for new emerging artists
my favorite thing
is to have them say fuck you
I'm famous it really endears me to them
it's really relatable
I love her
granted I've only made it 48 so it's really relatable i love her i love granted
i've only made it 48 seconds into this song but i love her examples of being famous she's like look
i'm putting on makeup look i have a towel on my head look i'm at the beach look i'm getting into
an uber it's like what the fuck how's any of this making you famous okay and then there's all these
magazines that she's been in that of course course, no one's ever heard of.
She does look very pretty. I don't doubt
that she's famous there. Is she going to become famous
here? Oh my god, what if she is the next
Madonna? Well, I hope
that she and Fonny have a duet.
I'm Fonny. I'm Fonny
and my song is about painting
and fucking. It's called
Fuck You, I'm Painting.
Like, I literally want to fuck you while i'm painting
because i'm funny very big in japan meanwhile we also have oleander from denmark which one is
oleander he's the one with like he's like the blonde one who's like jewelry guy jewelry guy
with like a really good body uh but is, like, sort of annoying
with everything he does.
Like, look,
everybody thinks I'm gay
because I shave my chest
and I shave my balls,
but that's it, okay?
I don't bleach my asshole
or any of this crazy L.A. stuff.
Everyone thinks I'm gay
because I'm having sex
with that busboy at Sur,
but no, I'm not.
I'm straight.
It's not gay if you don't swallow.
In Denmark,
we just call that kuflachschen. It just means boy on the side, but still straight. It's not gay if you don't swallow. In Denmark, we just call that kuflachchen.
It just means boy on the side, but still straight.
Yes, they have these in all of the steam rooms.
Yes.
Yeah, the steam rooms are like on the flakken.
Yes.
Yes.
Very popular.
My most popular jewelry is cock ring.
Does not gay, though.
No gay for me uh yeah
that guy that gay guy's dating a teenager i like him because he like he's rich and he did it all
himself he came here with nothing and now look at him so i like him yeah actually i don't really
mind him that much i like him and the other guy i like sasha i like sasha working out and they
just haven't given up, you know? Yeah.
They're like hot and rich.
Well, my favorite thing with Sasha is like, you know, like I'm just trying to make a life for myself so that way I can bring my family over from Germany.
I'm like, listen, this is not like the immigrant experience of like I have a family like in India or in Mexico and I'm like trying to earn just enough money so that they can come over here.
He's like, he has tons of money he's like I just want to be able to build a mansion so that way when they come over here they're happy I'm like why don't you just bring them over now
some damn teenager didn't you see the the video of his wife and well it wasn't on this episode
but it was on the preview they showed the video of his wife and kids she's like 20 he ran the
hell away impregnated some teenager and ran the hell
away. He's like, I'll bring you over when I have
money for a giant mall.
Good luck with that, honey. He's probably
sending her $20.
Every week or something. And she's like, oh, we are rich.
And then we also have
the other woman, I forget
her name, who's married to Swedish House Mafia.
Not sure about her yet.
She seems like a bitch on wheels.
She seems like she does not want to be part of this.
But she probably is the one who put it all together.
She's like the biggest name whore of them all.
Like the one who doesn't have any talent but likes to put things together.
Well, she is the Angelina Jolie of Sweden.
Yeah, she's the...
Every country has their Brad and Angelina.
And in our country, it's us.
Oh, no.
Leona's like, I am Angelina Jolie.
And I am also Madonna.
Sorry, my accents are now getting so messed up.
It's very hard to go from accent to accent.
You're like the Meryl Streep of Albania.
I think I'm doing Asian accents now.
I'm like, I am Leona. You kind of give Tawny one. You're like, hello, I'm Tawny. I think I'm like doing Asian accents now. I'm like I am Leona.
You kind of give Tony one. You're like, hello, I'm
Tony. You like chicken
fried steak? You like sweet sour chicken?
Rice? Steamed or brown?
I'm funny. I work at
I work at Walk and Roll for
now. You look at inside a cookie
or cookie no make sense.
You eat the paper.
Ha ha ha. Now my time for toast. or cookie no make sense. You eat the paper.
Now my time for toast.
I like that Fonny has a dinner party and then Leona gets up and she's like,
I just want to thank everyone for coming here
to my dinner party.
Fonny's like, no, I think that I should do toast
now instead.
Then I was like, fine.
I'll go somewhere
where they want me to have a toast.
Shut up.
I will do video call to downtown Albania
where everybody will gather
to watch me toast.
I toast all of Albania right now.
And they will get on their cell phone
and watch. Well, she already hated Bliona.
Which was funny.
But she's like, oh, maybe you let me toast at my own
party.
And Bliona was like, what's this bitch's problem?
I am surprised that she fucked with Leona first.
Because from the previews, I just figured Leona was going to be the asshole.
But I love that it was Tawny.
What is her name?
Fawny with an F.
Fawny?
Fawny.
I can't with this show.
No, I actually, because you know that actually Fonny is going to be the biggest bitch of all.
But it's sort of awesome because she walks around in these little dresses.
She seems so sweet.
She's like one of those stripper girls.
She's always like, oh, honey.
I know.
I like that color, too.
Have you ever seen The Goonies?
Oh, this is my favorite movie.
And then the minute something doesn't go right, she's like,
Hey, I hate you.
You never do anything for me.
Throws a fit.
You know it's that girl.
Yeah.
You can totally tell that that's that girl.
Mm-hmm.
Funny.
That's just the way funny is, okay?
I like Playona so far because I like watching her order her parents around
and giving herself lippo laser in bed.
Yeah.
Um,
and I like Mossimo and Fonny cause they went to target and bake
on pans.
Yeah.
I was just in that target.
I just bought settlers of Catan.
My dorky admission on the day.
What did you buy?
Settlers of Catan.
It's a board game.
It's like the best.
So you should come over and play.
Oh, Ben.
I'm not going to come over and play anything anymore because I went over and played Grand Theft Auto.
And guess who's been sitting in front of the Xbox like he has?
You bought it?
No, I have four, though, already.
So I was like, oh, I'll play some Grand Theft Auto and practice my driving in case I go to Ben's house again one day.
Practice my driving.
I've been playing that for three days now, so thanks.
You're welcome.
I'm actually trying to figure out how to work picture-in-picture
so I can watch my Bravo shows while I
play and kind of fix the sickness.
I like to play a game called Grand Theft Fonny
where you just play as Fonny walking
around the city.
Hello, excuse me. I have to kill you now and steal your car.
Thank you. I'm Fonny now and steal your car. Thank you.
I'm funny.
I love your age.
You're funny.
Yeah.
Well, she's big in Japan.
I'm so sorry I hit your car.
You were not looking where you were going,
so I'm going to kill you now.
Okay, hooker?
I'm funny.
I'm funny.
Leona's like, give me your car now.
Like, now I take your car and I drive away and murder you.
Okay?
Because I'm fucking famous now.
Fuck you.
Fuck you, I'm famous, Grand Theft Leona.
I'm sorry that my driving is so bad, but I'm looking for my song on the radio.
So if somebody can find a radio station with my song, maybe I can drive better and stop killing so many pedestrians in this story.
I am the world record holder of grand theft auto
albania and it's a game where you it's a free roaming game where you drive around fields and
avoid sheep it's a good game and then if you win a reward your father gets a better job in
government if you do not win a reward you lose lose everything. You rob bank in Tirana.
And there's only one bank there, so
it's the only mission in the game. And I'm
very good at it. Well,
I can tell you this much. I'm gonna love
these Euros, man.
Me too. I love it. I already love
this show, which means it's probably gonna be cancelled
in two seconds. Although, maybe
we broke that curse with Vanderpump Rules.
Although, I hated Vanderpump Rules for a long time.
You've always liked it.
No, no, I hated it too.
In the beginning I was like, this fucking show.
And then I, of course, now like bow down at the altar.
All right, well, we're leaving this show soon, Ben.
So I want to talk really quickly about the final shows.
Top Chef, what do you think?
What do you think, Ben?
I still love it.
That guy Aaron is still such an asshole an what did he do this week he got me so it's like a
week ago so i can't remember he got me so mad um but then he started in on this whole my dad you
know i grew up without a dad and you know my parents couldn't afford to send me to culinary
school like everybody like he started playing the pity card, I guess, because he knew he was coming across as a total dick.
But guess what?
A lot of people didn't grow up with a dad.
It doesn't give them a right to be mean to other people.
And, like, who cares if other people went to culinary school and you didn't?
So now you're just going to be mean to anybody who has an education?
Yeah, that's what I hated about her.
That's what I hated because, you know, the culinary instructor, she's this super sweet woman.
She's really lovely.
I like her.
And he beats her.
So what happens is that Aaron loses the quickfire.
So it was a sudden death thing.
So in order for him to stay on the show, he has to challenge someone.
And if he beats them, he gets to stay on the show.
So he chooses the culinary instructor
because he's like yeah because i didn't go to culinary school so i won't you know i want to
prove that you don't have to go to culinary school and he beats her and he's like oh i guess i guess
that like how'd that education work out for you i guess just shows it's like he's being an asshole
he's like picking a fight perfectly lovely woman and it's like he said like asshole about you just
lost the quick fire you just cooked the worst thing out of like 15 people so and the whole thing about yeah and the whole episode he was just
like had this chip on his shoulder against this woman and you know he's that type you know he's
got a chip on his shoulder about everything and everyone and you know what last week i was saying
how i didn't like um the guy the mexico kosher guy um he's got the japanese yeah now i like him
and i like that he was like he was basically making fun of aaron yeah he was making fun of aaron like in the stew room and
aaron's like hey fucking shut up already like you didn't fuck it and i was like no you shut up and
he's like no why don't you shut up if you don't want anybody to like you i'm not gonna like you
okay so own it own it if you want to be a jerk i love that guy yeah no aaron's like a total he's just an asshole i hate him um a whole
picks teacher teacher apologizes for dish and then oh god so then the teacher later they go to the
the ballpark and she cooks her dish and it she doesn't do her custard right or whatever but she
still makes a lovely dessert so before they can even say anything she's like i really messed it
up it was a failure of technique it was supposed to a custard, but now it's a mousse.
They're like, stop talking yourself down.
This is actually really good.
You just totally fucked yourself over.
And then she did the reality show sin.
But my dad died and cancer this.
I'm like, oh, you're using that.
It's like, no, I was okay with it.
I was okay with it.
I think there's a context. I think when Amber does it on Jersey, it's bad because I feel okay with it i was okay with it i think there's a context i think
when amber does it on jersey it's bad because i feel like she's doing it for fame i think in this
case it was i i thought it was people hold on to that shit until they're in trouble they always
if she'd done it last week when well i don't think she's won anything yet but if she'd done
it when she was on the top like in this episode if they were like you're in the top three and
she was like oh this means so much because my dad died that's one thing but they always done it when she was on the top. In this episode, if they were like, you're in the top three, and she was like, oh, this means so much because my dad died.
That's one thing.
But they always do it when they're in trouble, when they're like, your dish sucked.
They're like, oh, my God, my dad's dead.
I don't like that.
I thought it was appropriate.
And you know what?
The producers probably told her to say it anyway.
Oh, blame the producers whenever it's convenient. I am standing up for the lovely culinary instructor
because she
has this asshole coming after her now
and so therefore I'm going to be
I like her, but let's face it. She's made broccoli
salad, a terrible custard
and she's already cried about her
dead dad twice. So she's not doing
she's not really high up in my
I have my reality
show rules, okay?
You can mention your drama one time but you cannot do it every fucking time. She's not really high up in my... Alright, alright, alright. I have my reality show rules, okay? Fine.
You can mention that.
You can mention your drama one time, but you cannot do it every fucking time.
I hate that.
Fine.
Cancer.
Cancer.
Cancer.
Cancer.
Ron was voted off.
It's okay.
Cancer.
Cancer.
Go away, Cancer.
Ron was voted off for putting a big ball on his soup, and he cried.
You know what, though?
It's his fault.
That was funny, because he was crying,
but he was like,
I know I'm better than everybody else here.
Shut up, fat queen.
Get out of here.
You ain't better than anybody else.
Yeah, he was the one who told Joy.
Was that her name?
Yeah, Joy Crump, who we liked.
He was the one who was like,
oh, no, don't take the bones off that veal,
and then she went home because of it.
So, you know what?
Karma is a bitch, and it came back for him.
Yeah. I'm always rooting for the big, fat, gay you know what? Karma is a bitch and it came back for him. Yeah.
I'm always rooting for the big fat gay guy, you know,
especially when they have a birthmark on their head.
But, you know, don't be a jerk, all right?
I didn't think he was gay.
I thought he was straight and had a son.
Oh, really?
Never mind.
I'm glad he's gone.
Get out of here.
Yeah, get out of here.
So the only other show was Below Deck.
I watched the Below Deck reunion. I watched uh like an hour of it it
was an hour and a half of my dvr cut it off so it was a fun reunion but honestly the best part was
when they were talking about um janiece and kelly's relationship and where it was now and
kelly says it was like the funniest thing he's like listen like for first he's
janice was saying you know you know my issue with kelly was that he was like not really there
like you know he wasn't really present in the relationship and you know she's like you know
i'm not needy but when you say you're gonna like pick me up from the airport and you don't pick me
up like that's like an issue for me that's basically what she said and then he's like what i was a good boyfriend like you know we took pictures
and put them on instagram together we put them on twitter like his defense was basically that like
they had a good social media presence and she was like that's the internet he's like well
and then andy was andy first of all was an asshole this entire reunion. Like, he was so, like, he was, like, within, like, the first 30 seconds, he's like, oh, Kelly, like, your dick pic was on the internet, huh?
You know?
And, like, everything was like that.
Like, oh, can you, like, he's like, hey, can you make a towel look like boobs?
Like, he was so, like, puerile, you know?
Not to say that we aren't, but, like, he's the host of an actual tv show and we're just podcasters but anyway um so uh uh at one point it comes up the the fact that like
janiece you know janiece plain and short you know janiece plain and short like like she's sort of
like not quite at kelly's level etc etc and et cetera. And so Kelly's Kelly was,
it was like trying to like, trying to like, to defend this.
And so he literally says on, on the reunion, he, I'm sorry.
It was like, so it was so awful. Like I literally like laughed out loud.
He's like, listen, you you know people are like saying things
like like hey she's too ugly for you and she's like they were saying she's too ugly for you and
i was like no there's a lot more than just looks oh my god what did she how did she react i mean
everyone like ben the chef was like i mean even like even Captain Lee was like, oh, whoa.
The fact that his response was not like,
no, she's beautiful.
It was that like, no, no, no, no, no.
There's a lot more going on than just that.
I literally was like,
well, I'm going to miss that little show.
Bye, below dick.
Yeah, Kelly kind of came off.
He was pretty bad on it.
He did... And Janice came off
as actually very sympathetic.
And, you know,
it was like a fun reunion. Nothing too...
too notable, except
that Andy was just being
really tacky, and
Eddie gained some weight.
Speaking of tacky, me.
Yeah, he gained a little bit of weight.
Alex P.?
Yeah.
Don't do it, Alex!
But otherwise, it was fine.
You know, Kat still was not, like, really owning up to the fact that, like, she blew Amy's boyfriend or Amy's crush back in the day.
Yeah, it was all the same stuff.
It was good.
Good times.
Well, next week, we have more euros more
vanderpump and more real housewives of new jersey what else are you gonna watch for next week then
i think you just named it all just three wait what else oh atlanta we have atlanta oh we do
that starts this week starts on sunday there we There we go. There we have it, people. Yeah.
Okay, well, thanks, you guys,
for listening to another episode.
Yeah.
Join us on patreon.com
slash watch what crap ends
to become a subscriber
for our bonus episode,
which today is about
gay guys complaining about crosswalks.
You see, guys?
It's a lot more entertaining than that,
I would like to say.
Yeah.
We just talk regular bullshit there.
We talked about Thomas Ravenel also and his election loss.
Yeah.
And we're having our live show January 25th here in L.A. at the Laugh Factory.
No.
The Improv.
The Improv.
The Improv.
Sorry, Laugh Factory.
What an awful thing to say, Ronnie.
Awful.
So come see that.
To find all of our social media stuff, go to watchwhatcrappens.com.
And come to our Facebook page to talk to everybody else listening and posting.
And that's facebook.com slash watchwhatcrappens.
And thank you guys so much for being on that page and for supporting this podcast.
You are making my dreams come true, guys.
And that's only a slight exaggeration.
No, it's honestly, speaking
from the heart, it actually is really helping my life.
It's supporting me, basically.
Yeah, so thanks, you guys, so much for that.
Go over there.
We'll have Ringers posted probably this week
and then next week we have our Google Hangout.
So come be a part of it.
Patreon.com slash Watch What Crappens.
Thank you guys so much for everything. Ben, thanks for another great week.com slash watch what crap ends. Thank you guys so much for everything.
Ben, thanks for another great week.
No, thank you, Ronnie.
Thank you.
We will talk to you next time.
All right.
Bye, everyone.
Bye.
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