Watch What Crappens - #164: Ya Fiahed!

Episode Date: February 4, 2015

On this week's Watch What Crappens Podcast, Ben Mandelker (bsideblog) and Ronnie Karam (TrashTalkTV) join forces once again to rag on Bravo idiots. We start with Andy Cohen's teachable gay moment before moving full steam ahead into the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Advil Drama and then Vanderpump Rules' best firing of all time. So far. Join us! Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. Ronnie on the Web: http://www.trashtalktv.com Ronnie on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/trashtalkteevee Ronnie on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/trashtalktv Ronnie on Tumblr: http://trashtalktvrecaps.tumblr.com/ Ben on the Web: http://www.bsideblog.com Ben on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/bsideblog Ben on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/bsideblog Our Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/watch-what-crappens On iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/watch-what-crappens/id498130432?mt=2 Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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happy valentine's day hey everybody welcome to watch what crappens the podcast about all the crap we love to talk about on Bravo. I'm Ronnie Karam from Trash Talk TV, and I'm joined by the lovely, thin, gorgeous, and taken Ben Mandelgur. Ronnie! Beside blog and the banter blender. Hi Ronnie. Snap. How's it going?

Snap. How's it going snap how's it going you can find us uh you can find all our social media addresses and our website stuff and blah blah blah information on watch what crappens.com yeah um you can also come to facebook.com slash watch what crappens and that's where we talk uh to everybody everybody just gets on there and posts articles and talks shit about the shows as they air. It's really fun. It's a whole community of hilarious people whose comments we will be reading throughout the show today. Because they've been making us laugh so fucking hard this week.

So, opening with an F-bomb. That's great. That's very classy. Very classy. It's like Brandi Glanville hosting a show. That was yesterday. So, I think that oh um also if you want to support this podcast monetarily you don't have to we will always stay free but if you want extras like our weekly bonus episodes that are 20 minutes to 30 minutes

or so we just talked about celebrity apprentice yeah we just had a good laugh over celebrity apprentice and this week's bonus and um we just talk about whateverity Apprentice. Yeah, we just had a good laugh over Celebrity Apprentice in this week's bonus. And we just talk about whatever we want and just laugh our asses off every week. But that's really fun. So there's bonus episodes. There's ringers. There is a monthly Google Hangout where we just basically, you guys come and we have a party on the internet. And we laugh our butts off.

So go to patreon.com slash watch what crappens that's p-a-t-r-e-o-n.com slash watch what crappens and come and support guys means a lot to us yeah thank you so much for everybody who's doing that um yeah so let's get on with today's show there wasn't as much to watch this week. That's okay. What there was to watch was so good. Yeah, but what there was was some funny shit. What they was. It was good. It was some good shit this week.

Oh, it really was. I felt like one of those sharks dancing at the Super Bowl. I was so happy. Nope. You didn't watch the Super Bowl, so you have no idea what happened. Nope. It was a giant. That's okay.

Only the biggest thing in pop culture. What happened? Katy Perry sang, and she had dancing sharks behind her and dancing beach balls. And I actually really enjoyed it. Andy Cohen, because I caught a little of Watch What Happens Live. Wow, way to still be terrible, Andy Cohen. Way to not improve at your job at all ever. I love it.

I watched What Happens when he had Kristen and Tom. Tom? Oh, you mean Katie and Tom. Horseface 2. Oh, Horseface 2 and Tom. Seriously? I had to watch that because that just happened to come on after Vanderpoopers. Yeah.

And Andy Cohen rolled his eyes the whole time at his guests um called them liars basically and treated them like total trash which they are but uh as the host of the show it was a little awkward but anyway andy cohen took credit for the sharks he said that that was his gay shark that she was dancing with. What is he talking about? He's ridiculous. You know, here's the thing. Let me talk about something else Andy Cohen did and said just last night on Watch What Happens.

I can't even say that. I love that we make Andy Cohen this controversial figure when he's really just some totally innocent gay guy who does nothing. I know. And I think he's probably super nice. We always say this. Yeah, he does seem like he's really just some totally innocent gay guy who does nothing. I know. And I think he's probably super nice. We always say this. Yeah, he does seem like he's super nice. He's just really annoying. He does jackass things on his show.

Yeah, he does. And this is a good segue. This will lead into Beverly Hills. So he sort of had a quote-unquote teachable moment. I watched What Happens last last night because he was saying – Was it called that? It probably was called that. Yeah, and it had like a little The More You Know star, which is funny because –

Oh. Katy Perry flew off in The More You Know shooting star at the Super Bowl just to bring it all back. But he was like – he's like, hey, I just want to talk, shout out to all my housewives and say, you know, like, he basically was like, stop referring to gays as my gays. He's like, because we're not like animals. If you said like my blacks, it'd be super offensive. So think about it that way. And yada, yada, yada. So I had like mixed feelings about it.

Because on the one hand, I get it's actually an expression of endearment believe you know even if it is kind of um patronizing so i get it i know it doesn't come from a bad place i think kathy griffin was the one who really started saying my gaze right wasn't she the one on like my life on the d-list was always like my gaze my gaze my gaze right yeah so i get that um and i think he's right you know because i i did get the sense when i was watching that gay mixer on beverly hills there was something kind of like like it felt like a bunch of moms bringing their kids to a play date you know which sort of was like it felt weird you know yeah but um but that being said i also don't feel like and like Andy Cohen has a leg to stand on.

Like, you can't sit here and profit off of, like, sort of objectifying all these ridiculous women and making, like, them a circus. And gay people. And gay people. And going, like, oh, they're, you know, they're the housewives or whatever. And then all of a sudden you're like, oh, don't, like, don't basically use these umbrella terms. The only time Andy Cohen ever takes a stand on fucking anything is if it's something gay he's like some gay advocate yeah meanwhile he's a total misogynist and uh basically homophobe like he puts the worst gays on tv ever and does nothing but mock women and talk about their breast surgery and shit

like yeah he's really i don't know i don't want to hear it from him i know a lot of people felt and does nothing but mock women and talk about their breast surgery and shit. He's really, I don't know, I don't want to hear it from him. I know a lot of people felt that way, and I cringe when it's Kyle because you know that Kyle's just trying so hard. She's like that friend in Texas, I think I mentioned her last week, who was like, we don't know a lot of people like you, but we sure love you. It's like, wow, you're so hip. And every time she posts something about referencing me on facebook or something she's like my gay friend ronnie oh you know this is

my gay best friend you know she's one of them she doesn't mean any harm she's just ignorant and that's kind of how i feel with kyle and i don't get offended andy gets offended at everything i think we need to stop it like if gays want to stop being called my gays, then maybe we should stop hanging around with rich ladies because they're fabulous and sarcastic and acting like sidekicks because all of those faggots on that show were acting like little sidekicks.

So I don't even want to hear it. And every gay on The Housewives acts like a little sidekick and shows up and kisses his ass so they can get on TV and they act like fucking pets and caricatures. So if we want to be treated like normal people maybe we should like act like one and not throw parties about being bottoms and getting fucked in the ass because everybody's such a sissy i mean come on like what's more offensive honestly is it the gay guys saying oh there's not enough bottoms and i mean there's not enough tots in west hollywood it's all bottoms

and talking about fucking constantly like is that more offensive to gay people or someone you know wanting to have a party for them like what's more offensive you know like fucking get it together gay people and stop your complaining like i'm not going to get into that victim mode everybody else is doing it and i think we've had our time like let's do what we do best be fabulous and fuck people in the butt let's stop being so precious all the time it's like we build all our humor around ass jokes and then we get precious when someone calls us theirs like shut up yeah i mean that's why i said i had mixed feelings because on the one hand i you know if someone would say like oh my god i'm just gonna go out with all my girls, that's not offensive at all. It explains what you're doing.

You're going out with your girls. So I think that's why it's probably not totally proper logic to say, oh, let me go out with all my blacks because that doesn't – That's not the same. But the thing is it could be interpreted. not the same same but the thing is it could be interpreted if you say i'm gonna go out with my gays someone might be meaning it like i'm going out with my girls uh but instead it might be interpreted that's what it means that's what i think that's i think you're right that that's what it means like yeah i never took it i never took it as something like the same as like let's go out with like all my blacks i never saw it as something like that however that being said i you know so lance bass was on the show last night and he he was like it's funny he basically

said that mixer it was like watching a bunch of like it was like it's like all the all the gay guys like you'd have like leashes on them or something like that oh please we've seen how lance bass asked around his women his lisa vanderpumpumps and his Leah Blacks. That guy does nothing but hang out with rich old ladies who kiss his ass and fawn all over him and treat him like a little pet. So please, Lance Bass, get over yourself. You act like one of those pets. But that being said, I did see, honestly, when I was watching this mixer, there was something that kind of was like, it like a little it did feel like a

little strange there was a strange energy about it wasn't it sort of made gays seem like these like these kind of like mindless like kids but to be fair those were west hollywood kids who are mindless gays like that's what they were when that assistant of k Kyle's, not the gay ploy, he's very sweet, but the one at the store. Yeah, yeah. When he's like, girl, where's this dress? And oh my God, guys, we need to get some tops for all the bottoms. I was like, oh my God. It's just going to be another fucking twink fest with 30-year-olds with bleached hair and bleached anal butts.

hair and like bleached anal but like bleach no penises are gonna like a party and just talk mean about each other and try and get some like i don't know i guess it's because we live here but i'm kind of over that well you know there's again they're not all gay people are juvenile and ridiculous exactly but there's like a lot of them here because this is a gay party but but the thing is it's true i mean what you're what you're saying is right i think maybe that's why i was i had such a weird reaction to it because it did feel again like it was like a bunch of women brought their dogs to a dog park or like you know like kids on a play date you know again because i think ultimately it's true that people who were invited there is i don't know i don't even want to say that they were all juvenile

because they weren't all juvenile but there is that vibe that there's that very strong vibe sometimes in weho in certain sections of weho not all of weho uh west hollywood uh but certain sections and it was like it just was funny to me that this guy was like there's a shortage of tops in tops in West Hollywood and we need a mixer and we need to have like, you know, like the sort of gays that you bring to a dinner party. And who shows up at the mixer? It's like all bottoms and the ones you don't bring to a dinner party. Yeah, I did love that phrase. Like, it's not the ones who are at the Abbey. It's the guys who are like the dinner party gays that you want us to bring.

I thought that was really cute. But you know, like I'm not like railing against gay cults or anything. I'm just saying that in this neighborhood particularly, it's like going to Mardi Gras and then complaining that people are showing you their tits. That's what happens. So it's

super stupid of me to even complain about this neighborhood because it's like moving, you know, I moved right into the center of it. So'm not even complaining i'm just saying that's the stereotype i mean the stereotype is there for a reason there's a lot of horrors the bars are filled with a lot of horrors and like just being obnoxious bleaching everything on them getting wax and spray tanned and and being you know spreading spreading a lot of disease. I know. So it's an interesting question, which is should the housewives be scolded for calling the gays, saying like,

oh, I've called up my gays, or should their gay friends be scolded for actually perpetuating this idea? Because I'll tell you one thing. None of my girlfriends ever say, oh, I'm going to call it my gay. And I mean I wouldn't care if they did to be honest. I wouldn't.

But they don't do it because they're – I don't think – I think it's because I'm not the sort of gay and like – and I think a lot of my like closer gay friends are not the sort of gays that sort of perpetuate that idea like, OK, girlfriend. Like I'm your gay. Like, you know well my girlfriends and i definitely have like gay nights where it's like okay you know tonight is gay night because i go to so many straight places and they're like okay it's gay night yeah and they come out and they they act like it's gay night like we get shit face we have fun we get bitchy so we do that and i just i don't know i'm just i feel like no one should be scolded i feel like the gay guys are totally allowed to be total whores and party and have fun because that's where

they live and the women should be allowed to party and have fun with their gays and there is such a thing as women's gays and i'm one of them you know i am one of the women's gays i have lots of women who i'm their gay and that's never been a problem for us so i mean i agree i think that andy should not have scolded and i think but i do think though that sometimes though the women like have to like the women and the gay men have to sort of like up their game like the women have to maybe not treat them like children and the gay guys sort of have to be a little bit more mature and we can all learn we could all grow let's all learn let's all have a learning moment but i just had mixed feelings that's all i just had mixed feelings um yeah i mean i guess i do too most obviously my my feelings

don't sound very mixed and they're really not but it's just because it's kyle so part of me wants to be offended because it's kyle and she makes me fucking crazy so part of me is like yeah she should be mad but i mean no i don't i don't really find it kyle is on my good side right now i'm i'm pro kyle because season one kyle is back not me i think kyle's an awful human being although i did love watching her jump into her closet or like jump up to get a purse you know kyle's one of those people that i really want to be behind she's bitchy she's sarcastic she's rude she you know she's everything i love in a person but she's not clever she can't think of any she's never had a good fight in her whole life she can't think of enough things to say like she's been working herself up to have a fight with brandy now for

two weeks and the only piece of the only thing she could say was you're coming between me and my sister you're mean which is my favorite thing of kyle to say you're mean and then her other thing which is like whatever brandy remember when you said last year about uh my husband it's like what are you even talking about last year you've been best friends with her since last year, you asshole. Like, after you tried to bring Lisa down and totally were best friends with her when she was going to be your partner in crime for that. But that didn't work. And now you need a storyline and a friend.

So you're going to suddenly be nice to Lisa and start with Brandy over this? Give me a break. No, so here is why I'm, like, down with Kyle. So she's not the most glib that is for sure she's probably not even the smartest of these women but i what i do like is that when she's finally able to put away the facade when she's really angry and she's when she's like just pissed off she's real i feel like she she's just like, that's like a real emotion that's happened. She can't control herself. And it's like, I like that. I am like, I like when people are being authentic on TV and she's just like, fuck you. You're not wanted. Get out of my face. It's like,

yes, finally, you should be saying that. It's more like, I guess my reaction is more like, yeah, you were like being friends with Brandy, and now you're seeing what happens when you're friends with Brandy. And get mad. You should be mad. And I'm glad you're mad. I'm glad you're, like, this is happening to you because you're learning your lesson. So I'm, like, I'm pro it. I'm pro Kyle.

Yeah, but she's just so bad. Like, she goes up to Brandy to start fighting, and all she can do is wave her finger in her face and go, you're mean. It's like, that could have been so good, butyle's too stupid to fight now i liked it because it's just like you know undiluted anger um i mean she was wrong i mean she when she was like i just want to apologize for putting like like pushing your hand down but that was not the time she was totally going for a fight at her own part you know she throws a party then she totally goes for the jugular at the party. And then when Brandy's not reacting, really. I mean, because for Brandy, that was pretty much a non-reaction.

Yes, she got in her face and threatened to punch her teeth out. But for Brandy, that was pretty calm. Because then she walked away and stood over on the side and kind of watched with her gay. But you didn't. Which I'm sorry, but that is her gay because she walks around with him like a little purse monkey and he loves it. He says nothing except...

Please, he lives with her. He's like her friend Ploy. He lives with her and does her hair for rent. I mean, give me a break. But... No offense. You can't deny that. I mean, Kyle, I liked when Kyle...

I'm sorry, when. I mean, Kyle, I liked when Kyle – I'm sorry. When Brandy said, like, step away from me. Otherwise, I'm going to punch your teeth out. And Kyle's like, I know you. Yeah, because that's the sort of girl you are. I mean, that was a good line. I like that. That was good.

I just – I can't with Kyle because I think it's disgusting. Obviously, Kim has been fucked up this whole time. I don't think Kim – Kim has maybe had like a weak sobriety. Wait. I love that Kim, who had to go... She had like a hernia and was in pain from the hernia. And then like to show that she was suffering from the hernia, she like coughs. I'm like, coughing is not a symptom of hernia.

I've had a hernia, okay? I've had emergency hernia surgery before. It doesn't cause it to happen. It was pretty funny when Brandy's like, I don't even know what a hernia is. I mean, what is a hernia? And Kim's like, uh... She had no idea what a fucking hernia is. Give me a break.

She didn't even know how long she was in the hospital. Okay, that whole scene with Kim. So this is how the episode starts, for those of you who didn't watch it. Yeah, let's start from the beginning. Let's get to the beginning. It basically, actually I don't remember the very beginning. But one of the first scenes was Brandy going over to Kim's. Okay?

So we're in the Val at this tiny little sad lease or whatever. And Kim is in her Target PJs, but she's got a full face of makeup and a huge wig i mean that thing was humongous wait and by the way i just want to say this whole opening sequence was like this was like christopher nolan's version of beverly hills housewife it was like takes place in the future and the past the same time both times with kim it was like the timeline was so crazy it was like ultra post-modern but yeah it's like let's start with a dead body in the pool and work backwards yeah um and brandy's like well you know i just worry about you because your sister doesn't love you and i mean she's obviously just want you dead and i mean you know your whole family hates you and you're an embarrassment to

everybody and i just want to be here for you you know because everybody else thinks you're just gonna die young and kim's like you're such a good friend to me kim's like propped up on some pillow with this plastic hair falling out all over the place and a full face of makeup obviously stoned off her ass um like thanks brandy thanks Thanks, Brandy. Thanks. From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month.

Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of black history that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less. In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some, as a fighter for black rights. She is a villain to others.

Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Black is beautiful. January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top 10, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends

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You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. Oh, you back? I'm back. Oh yeah, did I lose you? Oh, I hope there wasn't a block there. But you notice how I'll just keep going? Yeah, you just keep talking yeah but uh kim was like oh yeah the first thing i noticed is pain and i found this pain and then i was like feeling something and so i looked down i felt pain and then i was like oh my god this is so painful and then then this pain started and then i got pain and brandy's like oh my god the pain i know the pain right she's like oh i had a pain and then i had pneumonia and a cold and hiv and pain it was pain

brandy's like oh the pain right oh the pain if they said the pain they just kept saying the pain over and over and then supposedly kim went to the hospital because she was coughing it had nothing to do with being shit-faced the night before on whatever single uh pill she took right which by the way even brandy even brandy had the common sense to say kim you can't just take a pill that's meant for cancer you could have been allergic to it and kim's like huh She's like, no, I had a herniated lung in my foot. I have a hangnail. My lung has a hangnail in it, and it's pain. It's just all I feel is pain.

I swallowed a hangnail in my pancreas. It was all when I went to see the movie premiere of how to train your dragon too i was gonna be so good in that movie but then i got there and i felt pain and i had to go home was i good in it i i was uh watching tyler perry's house with pain and i was like i feel pain too i'm in a house so i went to hospital oh kim poor thing uh and you know obviously kim's like still in complete denial uh she's obviously using so it's kind of depressing because you feel duped even though i never believed she was sober for one second anyway you still feel kind of duped because you're rooting for the girl i know it doesn't sound like we are but you know we don't want

we don't want her to end up in some ditch somewhere you're always rooting for the girl. I know it doesn't sound like we are, but, you know, we don't want her to end up in some ditch somewhere. You're always rooting for someone like that to get their shit together. But still, Kim cannot bring herself to ever take responsibility for one single thing or tell the truth about anything. And she's just bringing everybody down with her. Of course, she likes Brandy. Brandy's like, no, you're not an alcoholic. You just hate Kyle, right?

You just want to kill Kyle, right? It's all Kyle's fault, right? You know what? Cindy C. on our Facebook page, facebook.com forward slash watch what crappens. Cindy C. made a really interesting comment. She says, I'm not

a Kyle fan, but I'm starting to understand her a bit. I'd be angry too if my entire life was spent trying to hide She says, there for her and doesn't understand and kim seems to agree agree with her i seriously doubt kim remembers much of anything she didn't even remember the day she saw kyle in tonight's episode um and that's a really really good point and then uh adriana grace adriana i'm sorry your name is all sorts has all sorts of polish symbols um she says thank you i've been watched i've been in kyle's position so all of this bothers me on a different level. We're watching her realize her sister is not well. She looks like she's going to cry when Kim was insisting they met today. We'll get to that.

But there's a reason why there's AA groups just for family of alcoholics. Because that's true. I mean, for Brandy to sit there and, like, you know, stroke Kim and say, well, you know, you know kyle rejected you but i'm here for you when kyle has probably done so many small things for years you know to help kim or contain kim or keep it together for years and years and years so like maybe maybe kyle doesn't answer the phone once and then all of a sudden she's not there she's not there for her but randy is like that's fucked up and i've actually been in that position too or i've had a friend in that position and it's like it's it's so it's like so infuriating when you are supporting someone who's like like you

are giving you're sitting there on the phone listening to someone for 45 minutes they talk only about themselves and then you know all of a sudden you do something that you need something from them. And they say, you're so selfish. You always need da-da-da-da-da-da. I mean, it's awful. Yeah. I agree. I mean, I'm not going to – just because I don't like Kyle, I'm not going to say, well, Kim's right and Kyle's wrong.

Kim is just wrong. She's a drunk. She's an addict. She needs to get some fucking help. She's ridiculous. She's making an ass out of herself again. She needs to get some fucking help. She's ridiculous.

She's making an ass out of herself again. The problem I have with Kyle is that Kyle knows this about her sister. When she got her a job on the show, it was because she was sick of taking care of Kim. Kim needed an income. She was broke. And so Kyle got her a job on a reality show where she knew cameras would be following her around while she's wasted. Okay, so that's the first okay but since i don't like bringing shit up from past seasons i'll stick with this one kyle knows that her sister is not sober everybody knows that like if we know it from just watching an hour of tv when kim's in only five minutes of every episode if that we can all

tell that she's still drunk so everybody basically knows on set that this bitch is still drunk which is why she's never on camera because they probably have something where they're not putting her on camera when she's like that or at least had something kyle is purposely starting stuff with kim involved trying to get her to do this shit on tv because it makes everybody realize that k is the real victim. Now, as somebody who understands what it's like to be in that situation, I get that Kyle to a point is a victim because it's not easy having someone in your life who's like that. Okay. But no, you know, Kyle, no, you're not a victim.

Be strong enough and don't put you someone who's sick in the position of looking like that on tv over and over again and making it worse like fighting with brandy is one thing but getting in kim's face when she's obviously drunk and not remembering what day it is and saying fuck you and you're a bad sister and this and that and putting a finger in her face and trying to get her to fight at this party when When she came up and Kim started, like, trying to cry but was too drunk to remember how to fake it. And she's, like, trying to fight with Brandy and Brandy's ignoring her. And Kim's like, Well, if I was hurt from my feelings, you're just trying to start something.

You just came up here to start something, girl. And it's true. She was right. Drunk, but correct. That is exactly what Kyle was trying to do. Well, but to be fair, if you go back, Brandy was trying to start something by going along to this thing.

Yeah, but... You can look at it. I mean, where does it begin? But Brandy didn't go up to Kyle and start shit. She was going to try and be nice or whatever. So if Kyle went up and was like, God, see, god. This is why I hate Kyle because it's putting me in a position of standing up for Brandy.

But Brandy was going to be quote unquote nice because that's the way she operates. She's going to be nice because she knows she's trapped the person where they have to be nice to her. And if they get mad at her because she shouldn't be there. She wasn't invited. She knows it's gonna start shit and she knows that if someone comes at her she's gonna be nice and then she can be like i was being nice and you did this to me you know that's like classic brandy listen i'm not saying kyle is like perfect by any means and there are many things i dislike about kyle that have been well documented on this podcast but i do say i don't know for me i just I really empathize with her frustration. You know, was it the right thing to do?

Probably not. But do I begrudge her the fact that she, like, threw both middle fingers up and was like, fuck you, Kim? I don't, because I think it's probably the most frustrating thing in the world that you have this, like, evil woman Brandy who is so obviously manipulating kim

and that kim is falling for it like i i was like you know i i i think brandy and kyle are both guilty of the same thing and that is using someone who's obviously sick right to try and further their own storylines when they really don't give a shit about the other person like i think kyle's beyond the point of giving a shit kim has done nothing their whole life well and except when she was supporting them as a child and you know that kyle had plenty of nights where she was shit-faced with kim you know but uh kim's been a drunk for so long that you know if you have somebody like that in your life and they're not going to do anything about it you know lisa rena said the proper thing when she was like there's you know unless they want to help themselves there's nothing you can do and they just drop dead and that's that's basically what it is and

kim wants to cry and be a victim and then and i guess if you really want to stretch it she's a victim of disease but sorry you know you're not a victim you're you're we all have the same chance and actually you had a better chance because you actually were rich and famous and fucked it up. It's not like you're some poor person working at Walmart like the rest of us who has to deal with it, you know, alone. You've had all the help and a huge family to help you and all these people that love you. And you're still a fuck up. And you can't even admit it. You know, like the biggest thing about being an alcoholic and recovering is saying I'm a

fuck up and you can't even do that. Yeah. That's why I always felt like her recovery process was flawed because she knows she was always, um, she, even when she was sober, when she was like newly sober,

she was kind of, she kept on coming at Kyle, which I wouldn't talk to Kyle, but she didn't like the sport. And like, that's not what it's supposed to be. I can't, you know what,

this makes me, I'll see if we can get Anna David to come back on for next week because Anna David, she guested once before, and she's really all about this stuff. She is one of the people behind the site called the After Party Group, and she's sober, and she's been through rehab. She writes about it a lot. She's very into it.

I would really love to get her take on this whole situation because everything we're kind of like taking sides on is, I think, actually part of sort of the issues that swirl around recovery. You know, at what point is like at what point are you entitled to having your emotions? At one point, are you being irrational? And as devil's advocate, is there do you think it's possible that maybe one of the reasons kyle is dragging kim onto tv is not to like take advantage of it for her own sake but maybe to say well everything else has worked so maybe if i put her on tv and she has a nation giving her scrutiny maybe that will get her into shape is there do you think that's a possibility no because that's that doesn't get you into shape like if you're an alcoholic and you're afraid of

leaving your house which at the beginning of the show kim was i mean kim couldn't even speak to other people remember she's like i don't want to go on a trip with new people i don't like people i don't know how to talk to people i can't go to that party like she was like a recluse so no throwing someone in the public eye especially when it's all over twitter and the internet and everybody's calling you a drunk in public and all that no that doesn't help you i think it's for kyle i think kyle did it for herself because she wanted to show everybody well look a kim was the ex-celebrity right so kim's the ex-movie star so i think kyle probably used her because kim was actually somebody who would be on real housewives of Beverly Hills.

She's like an ex-child star in Beverly Hills. Like, of course, she's a shool-in. So part of it was Kyle just used Kim to get on the show for herself. Second, Kyle used her so everybody would feel sorry for Kyle because she's the victim and has to put up with Kim. Right. Well, but maybe what I'm saying is, and this is only just purely devil's advocate. Well, but maybe what I'm saying is – and this is only just purely devil's advocate. Maybe – I mean isn't it conceivable that Kyle – there are probably a lot of things that Kyle has said to Kim over the years.

And she's like, you know what? Fuck it. I'm not going to say it anymore. She can go on TV and then everyone else is going to say it. And then maybe she'll listen because she doesn't want to hear it from me anymore. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I don't think Kyle's stupid enough to think. I mean, from being Paris Hilton's aunt, I don't think that Kyle is stupid enough to think that fame is going to help anything.

You know? That's true. Like, she's from a family where she knows what that shit does. She saw her niece become, like, a fucking 18-year-old porn star who's done nothing but act like trash to make money you know by the way speaking of kim how crazy during so during the last night's show there was a flashback to game night um and god that was crazy looking at kim three was a two three years ago and how strung out she looked i didn't even realize at the time but when you look back three years ago wow she didn't look any worse than she did when they were at her house in this episode

i thought when they went to her house in this episode she looked like a homeless lady no i thought i thought that she looked better i mean i thought like when you saw like she was way skinnier in like a bad way um and we were just sort of like used to the way that that's her look but like she looks so much better now i was more shocked to see dana and taylor i know that they even gave dana like a line they even get in the flashback where she's like take your time hon yeah what did dana call um pam that's right kim called dana pam yeah dana's like you can call me whatever you want and brandy's like i'm gonna call you she's like shut up pam we're sisters we're like sisters brandy's like we could be sisters too no we can't i looked them up because i was making a joke on the recap about them because i was like yeah you know at the time we didn't like them very much but one's waiting

to be sentenced for 100 to 120 years in prison for, and the other one's running around with the lawyer of her suicided husband. So we really didn't appreciate what we had when we had it, because those bitches are nuts. I have been waiting for Dana to come back. You know what? I love Dana. I thought she was great.

She's going to be in jail. I know. She's going down. I don't think she's going to escape that one. No, she won't. She's going down. I don't think she's going to escape that one. No, she won't. She's not famous enough. So wait, let's go back to the episode. So we had – so there were all these – so Kim was talking to Kyle and to Brandy and was like, now, earlier today, now, earlier today and then um i think after that then we had like a really stupid interlude with

yolanda where she's like i love to pack i'm such a good pack off come on all around the world and then as one of our readers noted um sorry that comment had me laughing out loud when i read that yeah well i i'm sorry i can't name check you because i don't have it in front of me but like for our readers on facebook page like i love how yolanda's talking about how she's an expert packer and cut to her cleaning lady doing all the packing for her. I mean, it was so true. Yolanda. She's like, Yolanda's so offensive. The things she says are so offensive.

That was Adriana again, by the way. Adriana. There you go. The things that come out of Yolanda's mouth. She's like, you know, Anwar, I feel so bad, you know, as a parent, you feel so bad leaving your children. But, you know, I left his father

when he was 18 months old. So he is used to these times. It's like, oh, God. Yeah. And I love how, like, all of a sudden, like, Anwar, who is like, Anwar, who is like nothing on this show, like, he of a sudden, like, Anwar, who is, like, Anwar, who is, like, nothing on this show. Like, he's just basically a glorified lemon picker in her garden.

All of a sudden now she's like, oh, I love Anwar. Oh, Anwar. Anwar, make sure you're safe this weekend. Anwar. I'm like, now you care about Anwar? Yeah. She's like, Anwar, you are old enough to pose without your clothes on. Okay?

I got you an agent. Mommy loves you. Anwar, I want you to learn how to socialize with other people. So therefore, I'm going to get you an apartment in New York City where you can help out by yourself. Please don't go to school and waste your life, Anwar. Anwar, come help Mommy pack. Oh, yes. And if I help mommy pack, come stand and watch as Lucia packs for us. And let me awkwardly pretend that I know you.

Oh, how was the football soccer today, Anwar Bella? Anwar Bella. Oh, Anwar Gigi, how was your homework studies spot? He's like, great, I ate an almond. Did you swallow it? Get out. You know, your stepfather goes all around the world doing charity for people. He doesn't just raise money.

He goes and he builds houses. Anwar, why don't you do that too? Oh, God, David Foster. She's like, David is doing his charity in Italy, and you know who's going to be there? George Clooney, and he's also doing it with Andrea Botticelli. So we need to make sure

all the tables are white. I'm like, what? What does that have to do? What is his name? Botticelli? Andrea Botticelli. Botticelli is a painter. And what's the pasta? Botticelli? No, Andrea Botticelli. Botticelli is a painter. And what's the pasta?

That's Barilla. Barilla. Anwar, do not touch that pasta. Do not touch that Barilla pasta. I know it sounds like one of stepdaddy's new clients, but no, it's just pasta and carbs, and it'll ruin your modeling career. Barilla is not just someone that David Foster has recorded Grammy-winning songs

for. It is also a very fattening pasta and bar. We don't like to have Barilla pasta in our house because our cleaning lady is named Barilla also and it's very confusing. Barilla. Barilla, come here and

pack my bags, Barilla. Barilla, how come you never had the skinny jeans I gave you like Lisa's made? Barilla's bags, Barilla. Barilla, how come you never wear the skinny jeans I gave you like Lisa's maid? Barilla's like, skinny bitch. She's like, Barilla, will you go tell your friend DiGiorno to come up here, please? Could you please have your friend Tombstone come over here? Barilla, please have your friend Celeste come here. Tell Celeste we're sick of her selling rugs on the corner.

She wants to sell rugs. She has to pack three bags at least. She's like, Tostoni, come here, please. I think my favorite one was Deserno. Deserno. Deserno. I think my favorite one was DiGiorno. DiGiorno! DiGiorno! Marilla, go tell your friend DiGiorno that this is unacceptable behavior. If he's going to be selling tapestries on our corner,

he has to at least come here and scrub our refrigerator down. That fucking fridge. I still love it. That fridge is going to get gay-bashed. We're on my gays. We're on my gays we're on my gays I don't have gays Yolanda doesn't seem like the type to have gays she seems like she'd be like

oh hello gay person your behavior is very risky who does that who puts things in their bottom did you even get a house oh wasteful gays i don't think your mother has a gay no she actually i feel like her gays are probably just like very successful power days you know it's like david geffen that's her guy she's like you know she's the type she's like she's the type to bring david geffen to the game she's like oh

well he has my gay it's david geffen He's very powerful. Just an awkward brag that she knows David Geffen. He bought me a diamond bracelet for Christmas, and I bought him an Asian child. Here's my gay, Sam Smith. Sing for the people, Sam. Sing! I just love how all my gay mixes wind up with all of us around the piano. DiGiorno, bring us wine! Oh, thank you everybody for coming to Kyle's party.

I would like to give a speech! Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Dear David, I'm so sorry you couldn't be here today. But I would like to thank you for all the support you've given me over the years. Thank you for always putting lime in your drink i just i just want to say thank you everyone for coming to kyle's game mixer barilla pat a care package for all of you so you can take it by the door thank you so much please don't forget to wear your green ribbons to support lyme disease thank you and

also be sure to wear your orange ribbons just to support anwa and whatever he's going to be doing next it'll just be general for anwa and if you forget don't worry i've forgotten plenty when he was a baby he's used to it before you leave please stop by the Color Me Mind station where you can paint a little canvas for Anwar for when he goes off to his apartment in New York City. Hey, Kyle, I was thinking we should have this gay party at Build-A-Bear. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Brilla used to work at Build-A-Bear before she walked over here folding Anwar's laundry.

So stupid. I want to make... I'm going to have Brilla and DiGiorno make us our... build bears for us all and then David's going to take them to Italy for his next charity fundraiser and give it to poor people.

Oh, Yolanda. it to poor people oh yolanda if only you could be this entertaining on the show i love that our yolanda fan fiction is that she's now co-opted kyle's game mixer moved it to a builder bear had her fake servants named after frozen foods build bears for them and then giving them to david foster to give to poor people at Andrea Bocelli's charity fundraiser. Sounds good to me. And then they all have to paint little canvases for Anwar for when he goes off to college. Anwar! Anwar, what are you doing?

Reading? Oh, Jesus! Who raised you? How can you read? Don't you know we have Lyme disease as a family? We can't read or write. My Lyme disease is our Lyme disease. It's not a Lyme disease. It's Lyme disease. But I can pronounce it Lyme.

Oh, Lord. Take on a Lyme, so it's a Lyme disease. Can we talk Bravo blogs for a moment? Yes. Because I actually read them today because i woke up early don't know why not on drugs you're like nora jones don't know why i didn't come back um wait do i still have them you know what i have to reopen that oh wait yeah here they are um first of all since she's on the top sorry gays sorry my gay guys is lisa rinna her um her headline is everyone needs to own their own shit that's so lisa rinna which is

really funny my wig uh basically she says it's just crazy but it's very funny because she's very kabbalah she's like the crazy trains ahead There are times when I'm enjoying the ride, times when I'm pissed off, and times when I'm just plain dumbfounded by what's going on. The bottom line is I'm always looking for the best way to deal with what comes my way. There are two different ways I could write this blog.

I could choose to utilize my energies by calling out discrepancies, pointing out behaviors I don't agree with, and bringing my dignity down where it doesn't belong. Or I could choose to take this opportunity to be reflective of my own behaviors and the role i choose to play among my hello my fellow housewives she's like i choose choice number one she's new so she chose the latter but then she's like sometimes i'm dramatic but i try and i try and learn from my mistakes. Everybody's behavior speaks for themselves.

Blah, blah, blah. And that's basically her whole thing. She's like, Kabbalah, Kabbalah. Brandy's an alcoholic. Kabbalah, Kabbalah. Brandy's a drunk. Because Brandy came out last week saying Lisa Rinna really needs to take some responsibility for trying to harm a mother who could lose custody of her children by calling her a drunk on TV. Oh, shut up.

You know how you're going to lose custody of your child by being a drunk on TV? It's not Lisa Renna's fault. She's just saying what she sees, which is a page out of Brandy's book, which is like, I'm just saying what I see. I'm just saying what I see. And by the way, I do want to go back one second before you continue reading. Another thing I liked aboutyle yelling at brandy was when she did say to brandy you know you like well you lie is not very like articulate but it's more

like when she said like you always you're always saying your truth and your truth is always wrong i was like thank you i appreciate her saying that because someone needs to tell brandy that yeah brandy just makes it up well kyle's headline is brandy puts out lies hoping they will stick and you know you know the editors were on their side because every time kyle said something the editors would be like and here's example a b and c they're like cut to this thing that happened and this thing and this thing and this thing like five years of evidence like perry mason was there yeah god pairing me i never really understood understood Perry Mason. What a fucking bore. He'd be like, I'm here to talk to you about a murder. Like, really?

Could you have a little more energy? Because I'm falling asleep on the stand, Perry Mason. God, put a little fire under your ass, you big doof. Okay, so. Perry Mason sounds like a porn star name. Perry, that would be like, what would his porn star name be? Perry, come on my face in. Anyway, continue on.

I could never be a porn star. I'd be the worst. I'd have the hackiest, like, cat skills name. Blah, blah, blah. Kyle is just going, still acting like she was at the party where she's just waving her finger and like going after like she's going she's like yapping like a little chihuahua before i get into this week's episode i'd like to address brandy's attempt to twist the events that played out at eileen's poker night in her blog good geez it's an insult to our intelligence we all saw with our own eyes exactly what happened.

To say I wanted this to play out in front of the cameras to hurt my sister is her way of trying to poison our minds as well as Kim's. We all saw that I walked away into the bathroom

where my sister followed me. I asked my sister repeatedly to cover her microphone, which she insisted she didn't want to do because she had nothing to hide. If she had wanted to make a scene at the poker table,

I had plenty of opportunities to do so. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah season two about using meth which were 100 not true how does she think kim's kids would feel about that or bringing up the lies and tabloids on camera last season what about my children or she said about adrian her adrian and her children brandy's mean comments about others are always lies designed to hurt lisa renner was commenting on something she actually saw with her own eyes what we all saw not a fabrication designed to hurt brandy brandy needs to stop with the lies and deflecting and be more cautious with her own actions and reckless words if she's that concerned what people may say about her

you know i'm with her on that i'm not mad at any of that i think actually all of it even the stuff about like if i wanted to make a scene i could have kim followed me into the bathroom like i think i think kyle is winning uh this argument right now this this argument she's having yeah with brandy yeah Yeah, of course. Well, Brandy's an asshole. I mean, she's right. She's absolutely right about everything she said. In fact, it's what I had just said, basically,

which is that Brandy suddenly gets mad about people's words when Brandy is the one who waves this banner of, like, I'm impulsive. I just have to say what I say. But then I always apologize. Like, no, Brandy, you can't take back certain things. She never apologizes. Oh, and this, Kyle calls her out for that, too.

She's like, you went up to, you know, you said, oh, God, where is it? Oh, Brandy then goes on to say in her blog, I really do think I should apologize to Eileen and Vince for disrespecting their home. I should have taken a page from the rest of the women and said one thing to their faces and completely different thing behind their backs. Is that an apology? And who is she referring to? That was my first time in Eileen's home. And Brandy and I didn't speak again after that. So Kim, Lisa, Rinna, more lies and not taking responsibility.

First of all, this is what Kyle, this is what makes me crazy with Kyle. This is why I can never be on her side. Brandy's not saying that everybody made fun of Eileen's home behind her back. Brandi's not saying that everybody made fun of Eileen's home behind her back. Clearly, she's saying the other women are just backstabbers and talk shit behind each other's back. She's not specifically speaking of Eileen's home. And Kyle knows that. But Kyle's turning it into that.

You see, it's like Kyle has to be a bitch. Even when she's on the right, she does not know how to just win. She just, she's an idiot. It makes me crazy. Yeah, that's why she'll never be one of the best housewives. Oh, it just makes me fucking crazy. But, yeah, I mean, I think she's right. Brandy's an asshole. I mean, who's going to argue that?

The best blog definitely goes to Eileen. This lady is hysterical. Someone tweeted at us. It was Jamie B on Twitter who said we had to read this so i'm very excited for you to read eileen's bravo blog yeah this is very good eileen brandy is acting like a mafia enforcer okay eileen explains how she really feels oh boy this episode had my stomach in knots i don't know about you but i was yelling at the television. I have to first address one thing. The words reckless and you should be disappointed in yourself should never, ever pass the lips of Brandi Glanville unless she's referring to herself.

That is all in caps. Kyle's mixer was such a great idea. I have single friends who are gay. Can't say my gays when I don't refer to my heterosexual friends as my heteros, lol. God knows we needed a little levity after my poker party debacle. Kyle was a gracious and lovely hostess who was clearly excited to be getting all of our gays, oh whatever,

together, and who knows, maybe make a love connection. That happiness flew out the window when Kim walked into the party with Brandy, who, by the way, is acting less and less like a friend and more and more like a mafia enforcer. I guess Kim's heart was in the right place. She said she wanted Brandy and Kyle to make up, but really, people, at the way, is acting less and less like a friend and more and more like a mafia enforcer. I guess Kim's heart was in the right place. She said she wanted Brandy and Kyle to make up, but really, people, at a party,

with no heads up to the hostess, was she trying to put out a fire or throw gasoline on it? I'm so happy that she was in the hospital for a bit. Hopefully she's healthy and back on track. Still, she appears to be getting her days mixed up and continues to side with a woman who habitually insults and provokes her sister. How that lovely comment about mauricio talk about reckless what about their kids brandy yuck ick creeping me out yes yes exactly the really sad thing here is that before

my party it seemed these two sisters were communicating in a loving way with each other you could tell how much they care about each other and the bond and the history they share kyle was so happy to have mended things with kim she was clearly frustrated and angry at the mixer as she witnessed all that progress going out the window i don't blame her one bit for feeling angry hurt and betrayed i just don't understand kim's point of view i'm trying here i really am funny um then she goes on to yolanda which who cares yeah and then max which who cares um so much drama again in this week's show i have a feeling we've only just begun it's a two-parter after all eileen also

had one of the best lines the night which is that when when the tension started to mount eileen's eileen said an interview what am i supposed to do spray them with a hose it's just so great i love that her and lisa renner like the old aunties just sitting at the table like watching it all and lisa's uh eileen's like oh look look lisa look and then lisa's like um this is not okay with me okay lisa you tell them you go girl oh yeah i think oh god this is such a good season i i actually really felt like the drama in this week's episode was akin to some of that really crazy drama we saw in season one and two where really it was coming from like a real place this was not manufactured drama this was like getting into that like that deep family shit you know um and totally compelling i was i was glued to the

tv i could not like my, my jaw was dropped. Yeah. It was dropped, I tell you. Dropped! Dropped, I tell you! Okay, now what about Kyle's friends? Okay, that lady she was talking to named Fran. I don't know who this bitch is.

She's probably some power agent and I'm going to be banned from Hollywood for life. But that face. Okay, that was just basically skin with holes poked into it where she could see out of. She looked like she was wearing a ghost. She looked like a human ghost. What the fuck with people? Come on! I don't know how you could start with Fran when the real star of Kyle's Friends was the morally corrupt Faye Resnick making her grand return.

She's like, I hear someone might be murdered at this party. I showed up with a notebook and an agent. I was so happy to see faye back and she brought like two handsome gay guys i was like good for you you know what cracks me up about faye is that she's such a pussy after that season where she started shit and the whole world turned against her again and was like uh going after her on twitter she's like i will never be on the housewives again and that's why she's never on in like actual scenes because people were so mean to her the first time that she came on yeah bitch please you deserved every bit of that so there's always crazy drama when faye resnick shows up that's for sure sydney charlotte just posted on our facebook a picture of firemen hosing down a building and then she just just put Lisa and Eileen's faces on them.

That's so random, but hilarious. By the way, I also would like to point out, I think after all that talk about gays and objectifying or whatever, I think I have to give the award for cutest gay to Lisa Renna's gay. I thought he was the cutest. I didn't even pay attention to the gays. Isn't that terrible? They were just like bad extras. Well, I knew one of the gays, actually. I knew one of the party planner gays.

He's so cute and nice. The one with the red hair, I feel like I recognize him. Yeah, he's one of my friends. You've probably met him. I don't think I met him. I just recognized him. He's super cute and nice. I was glad he was on it.

He was nice he was so funny because he they kept he kept being in shots but he was always looking right at the camera it was so funny it's like you know why are you looking right in the camera but every time he's like looking directly into the camera like can you see me yes we see you all right little rascal he's a cute. I was glad he did good. I thought Lisa Renan's gay was the cutest. And, you know, Lisa Vanderpump's gay was cute. But, you know, I really have one of my pet peeves is when black guys sort of, like, sculpt.

Like, the black guys sculpt their hair. They sort of, like, flat. Oh, the hairline. Yeah, huh? Not a hairline. It's just, like, try to, like, sort of, like, blow it Not a hairline. It's just like, try to sort of blow it out. To me, it's just not attractive. And that's a real turn-off.

It's a real turn-off for me. I'm trying to remember which one was Lisa Rinna's gay. There were a couple cute gays there, for sure. Who was the super tall one? That super tall one was so hot, but then when he opened his mouth, I was like, oh, no. He's like a bitchy queen. I'm like, no, but you're so tall and handsome be but i wanted him to be like hey uh hey guys i'm here to meet some young gay people it did look like a pretty terrible party first of all it was at nix in beverly hills

which is like i don't know why anyone you know i mean i've been there once or twice and it's like chuck and cheese taken i know it was like why are you doing it at nix like dude someplace cool because kyle will do anything that she gets for free so yeah that's true sure she probably met someone from nix at the store who was like you can film at nix and she's like okay i'll put the gays there well they're probably both members of the beverly hills chamber of commerce which oh yeah which she's so extremely hard to slap her way into um like hi i'm from kyle and aileen too it's a story meanwhile uh we can just touch on real quickly lisa vanderpump whose storyline was totally useless this week it was like max wants to meet his original mother and i just don't know because he's our son and why open that book of what that can of worms

and then oh yeah i don't know people are not liking that she's putting that on tv but i don't know he seems into it to me yeah i don't think it's a big deal i think the bigger deal is the fact that she just moved him up to being a runner after being a busboy for years i mean how long has he worked at sir he's been a busboy for like four years. That is so sad. And she won't even let him be a waiter. She's like, are you making lots more money now, darling? You know, now that you're a runner.

And he's like, yeah, because I get tips from the bar and the lounge. She's like, oh, that's good, darling. She's like, meanwhile, Pandy just bought a yacht. Anyway, enjoy your runner job. Your mother must have been one good food runner, darling. Lord knows you've earned it. Pandy, do interview your brother on The Divine Addiction. I'm sure people would love to hear what he does there.

What's your favorite accessory when you're bussing tables? Let's accessorize the salt and pepper shakers. Darling. let's accessorize the salt and pepper shakers darling um yeah i like it but i think it's funny that the extent of lisa's effort into finding these parents is going on to ancestry.com i know and then she's like no darling i can't give you her name i cannot tell you her name darling all right i'm like how is he supposed to find him you can't just type in pasty chubby kid with freckles born in england adopted good bus boy that's not gonna find anybody they're like oh we found your mother she's been she knew her son would grow up to be a good bus boy she's like we found your mother turns out she died in a tunnel in paris in. No relation to Princess Di whatsoever.

Now, I'll close this laptop very quickly before you find out any other information and want to go back to that family. We found your mother. Unfortunately, she was a French whore and squirted out lots of children who were forced to sleep with her on the streets of Paris.

Like, Cedric's your brother! I dreamed a dream in time gone by! That would be wonderful if actually Lisa's life was actually part of a modern Les Miserables. Yeah. He's like just pushing a broom in a hotel because no one will claim him. There's a castle on a cloud. Look, if Lisa and Ken were my parents, I would not be looking around That's good, I will take it I know

There is a sexy, unique restaurant on a cloud I dreamed a dream of goat cheese balls I don't know why Of goat cheese balls I dreamed a dream of fruschetto-wrapped goat cheese. Tuna tata. Yeah, Lisa, that's cute. I mean, I don't know.

I just think Lisa's super cute. I like when Ken was like, your father was Nigerian and your mother was Japanese, right? Ken was like, your father was Nigerian and your mother was Japanese, right? And he's wearing some see-through light blue blouse that Lisa gave him. Please, please buy some men's clothes. You're embarrassing yourself. I know, it's so awful. Poor Ken and his Euro trash styles. He's like Dame Edna at home, just relaxing.

He's like the inside of a jewel box, you know? Kind of just like satiny and shiny. Their bed probably looks like a dog bed. It's probably covered in gray hairs. They probably slide off of that bed every single night because it's probably satin sheets with satin pajamas. They get in, they just slide right across and wind up on the floor. Yeah, Ken silent farts. That's all I can think of with Ken. what else happened on bev hills yeah i think we got most of it i think

we should move on to vanderpump rules oh my god vanderpump rules bethlehills drools so jack's face jack's well so okay so i wrote I actually wrote notes I wrote a bunch of notes because it's it's right before Sheena's wedding and I can't believe you wouldn't take notes right before her wedding

um that was for my dessert bar I can't believe you were taking notes right before my dessert bar and how it was

for my um so first of all I love I think it began i think the show pretty much began it was it was ken's birthday and they were discussing kristin and i liked how like she's just an awful employee she steals and she drinks she drinks wine on the job and she fights because drama she's like oh but she's like family i'm like no how could she possibly be like family max is is your family and he's barely like family yeah yeah i'll sign it um so then they um then we cut to a party at the sofa tell which cracked me up because i was just because there's

like it's like wow it's like it's a party next to the mall you know you can see like macy's in the background you know it's like oh good in between shots we can go to the macy's men's store you gotta get a slice of pizza sparrows i don't know uh so i love someone there at this party seriously kristin was like telling a story about getting into club and she's like i was like on the list because i'm like i'm like with the dj and the guy was like well screw the dj and i was like oh i do and he was like yeah whatever good for you it's like no he probably said whatever period and i love that like when she tells her joke she does her like shoulder shrug i wish we had a sound for that it's so good to do on the

podcast but she's like seriously i do screw the dj seriously i do i do seriously seriously you want me to prove it and seriously like why is that a joke you are telling? Why is that something that you're repeating? Seriously, I give blowjobs to the DJs. Seriously. Seriously. It sounds like something she totally worked up on her way there. Exactly. She's like, seriously, I give fellatio to the DJ at the Sofitel party.

Whatever. I have to interrupt for very important news what's that i'm reading the reviews for jack's app the jack's app it's called jack's taylor fitness and it's a headshot from like 20 years ago and it's um it's got one and a half stars out of five okay but in fairness it's because it doesn't even work all the reviews are can't log in error message cannot register even with wi-fi can't log in what does a look good as an app if you can't log in stick to bartending uh hashtag don't quit sir can't log in says i don't have internet access i tried signing up but it said i didn't have access to the internet what the hey can't log in constant no internet connection error message i'm trying to set up a new user and keep getting an error pop-up won't let me sign in

can't log in the app won't work and then a five-star review from lacy from a girl named lacy ringley you did an awesome job, Jax. I like the app. Then one star. No go. By the way, these are also the same error messages that go through Jax's brain. Can't log in. Can't log in. Won't work.

Need a connection. Can't connect to internet. Can't connect to internet. Like someone asks him a question. It's like, can't log in. Sorry. 404 error bad gateway server is down can't log in can't log in so funny um i would net here's the one reasons why i would never get that app because if you have to register for it there is no way i'm handing over my information to jax taylor like i'm sorry that it's just not happening what do you think you would do with it i don't know print it out and

masturbate on it i don't know you'd probably be like hi guys this is jax taylor i opened a patreon but it's just for myself every time i get up i want every time i do somebody i want you to give me a dollar instagram jax is really just the fucking worst. Like, I get being a whore. I get cheating on your girlfriend and being a douchebag. I'm not saying it's great, okay? Don't get me wrong. But I get it.

I get being a guy. Yeah. But then turning on the other guys and turning them all into their girlfriends on purpose and ruining their relationship so that he doesn't look like the only slut. That is the most disgusting breach of bro code i've ever seen in my life and he did it in such a like such a like obvious like such a fake way he made it try to look like an accident because basically what happened was no it's obviously planned where he's like okay but you got to read it off my phone

because i don't want to be like in trouble he's like you're telling people you know like i'm already in trouble dude but even before that even before he handed over the phone he he says such an obnoxious thing to poor seagull you know uh what's her face uh courtney the seagull from finding emo and he's like oh yeah she was like you drink too much and he's like well i drink so i can tolerate you and she's like she's like that is so hurtful and he's like it was a joke it was a joke i was like you're such an asshole but yeah that was so funny that um that he was like he's basically like see i'm not about to go bang other girls you can read it off my text no i'm not going to read it i think maybe kristin kristin you should read it you should read it and you know i'm sure i won't have any texts open that you should read it you should read it and you know

i'm sure i won't have any texts open that you can read by accident yeah and it'll just happen to be open to this very text he's like whoops and carmen's like should that be the one that she's reading is that one open he's like whoops sorry yeah and carmen's like mine mine mine mine mine Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Sunset Grill. Sunset Grill. Mine. Mine. Mine. Sunset Grill. Sunset Grill. I tried eating at the Sunset Grill this weekend because I was right by there for a zine fair. Okay? Because I have artist friends. Okay.

There's really a thing such as a zine fair. You write things on little paper and Xerox them and sell them at a fair. Okay? That's a real thing. I went to it, so I know. It's like a ren fair but with zines but with zines yes and instead of like weird um like costumes they wear like um no deodorant and some scraggly ass greasy hair but very nice i guess so anyway we went across the street to uh eat at that stupid place across the street from Nerd Melt.

What's that called? But Sunset Grill's right by there. So I was like, can we please go to Sunset Grill? And they were like, no, that's stupid. We're going to go to this other place because we like it because waiters are hot. And the waiters weren't hot, and the hamburger was like $16, and I did not approve. And the whole time I was like, I could be at Sunset Grill right now getting info for the podcast. Do you remember when we went

when we had Thanksgiving together and then my friend Trisha got annoyed because she couldn't eat and so I had to take her to get french fries at that restaurant down the street from your friend's house. What is that place called? It's like a trendy. The Pikey. Yeah. Went to the Pikey. Whatever. Fuck that place. Fuck it.

That's no Sunset Grill. Kristen! Kristen! Kristen, I'm hungry. Let's go to the Sunset Grill. Kristen! Kristen! Dude, what is up with Kristen?

That girl is certifiable crazy. What the hell, Kristen? Kristen! I want to go to the Sunset Grill with Jax. Kristen. So, what happened on this episode?

I feel like we haven't even talked about anything that happened yet. Okay, so we handed the phone over to Kristen and Kristen found out yeah, it's like totally Tom fucking some girl in Vegas. Tom Schwartz. Tom tom schwartz the text was tom schwartz telling jack something about the fact that he fucked a girl in vegas which if you remember earlier in the season he said that he didn't fuck a girl in vegas he only made out with

a girl in san diego or something like that there were two girls and he told he told katie aka bubby or bubba or whatever oh bubby oh gross he's like i did make out with another girl but you know we were in a break but no vegas no so anyway so then so kristen reads this she's like seriously seriously it's like wide open seriously i'm like screwing the DJ at the mall party. Seriously. So then we got to like that night and Tom and Tom and Katie and who else were there? I don't know. But they decided to go to this bar in Koreatown called Lock and Key where you have to like open. You have to find the right door knob to get into the to get into the bar and normally you would think that that's just like a clever design trick but i

actually think it was just a way to keep these kids out of there they're like okay these kids are really dumb maybe if we put up a lot of door knobs they just won't come in if they do figure out the door put a math quiz right in front of the drink menu. You can only unlock it if you can do the math. I only wish we saw footage of Sheena trying to get in. She's like, why are there so many knobs? This is like right before my wedding. How can they do this to me?

Don't they know I have to get ice for my wedding? I can't be wasting time opening door knobs. It's right before my wedding. It's not polite to be touching other knobs. In Azusa, we only have three knobs on every door, not 10,000. What a coincidence. My bridesmaid speech is going to be about how good I am at polishing knobs. I once heard of a neighborhood called Knob Hill,

but I didn't realize that neighborhood was inside this bar. Did you know Knob has a K in the front of it? That's the dumbest thing I ever heard. Who invented English? Knob? That's what it should be called. I don't understand. In Azusa, we have kebabs.

And corn on the cob. And corn on the cob. But corn on the cob doesn't have a K before the C. Like, why would they do that? Like, don't they know I'm getting married next week? Why don't they put on all the asylum Ks? I'm really good at bobbing. My other bridesmaid's going to give a speech about how good at bobbing I am. I like to bob for nubs.

My friend puts doorknobs into a bucket, and then I bob for nubs. So, have I been mispronouncing kite all this time, or has it just pronounced ite? I like to bop for nubs. My friend puts doorknobs into a bucket, and then I bop for nubs. Why do they... So, have I been mispronouncing kite all this time, or has it just pronounced ite? I don't understand. Has anybody seen my ease? I can't find my ease! My what? My ease?

My key. I was supposed to drive my car without my ease. I would like to order some Ong Pao chicken, please. Hey, can I have a knife? Oh, wow, that wouldn't work. Now I get it. Now I understand K's. When I was a little kid, it turns out I was the best student in the kindergarten.

Now life makes sense. All K's are silent. But why do we even have them? Oh, my God. I have a question. So when I eat special K, am I really just eating special? Is that because I'm special?

It is. I'm on my period. I'm really craving an it at. Break me off a piece of that in Atmar. This show is so stupid. The people on this show are some of the dumbest fucking people I've ever seen, and I love it. Sheena makes me laugh so hard talking about her stupid wedding. And then seeing the previews of it, she's like, no, no, no, no! I can't afford a wedding K.

There are a lot of dead leaves on the ground. Why don't we raise them up? I refuse to buy a wedding A or a wedding K so instead we're having candy because they know how to use a cup. We're going to go to Dylan's candy bar because they know how to use proper customs. I love her blatant. Like she hasn't learned how to do it yet.

Kyle knows how to do it. She's like, we just happen to be walking past a KFC during this scene so she can get like her ears filled. But Sheena's so stupid. She's like, welcome to Don's candy store on the brand Sunset! Here we are with my good friend Tom. Look at Tom!

She's like, I'm throwing like a $50,000 wedding and everyone gets gummy worms. She's like, we can't afford ice because we spend $20,000 on flowers. I think I told this story on the podcast

once, but I was at this wedding and this girl was like, I just read this article about the top 10 wedding fads that need to die already. Candy bars. Sparklers instead of rice um like it was like 10 things and every single thing the bride had she had candy bars sparklers for rice oh like hashtags it was so fucking funny and that that reminds me of cena like oh wow a candy bar? That's creative.

You want to be real creative? Get, like, a yogurt planet in there. Hey, put whatever yogurt you want in there. You can have eight toppings. I can't believe this yogurt melted on my wedding. Don't they realize it's my wedding? I can't believe it. It's supposed to say solid

I think I'm gonna go to that gay yogurt place today yogurt stop? yes is that the one by like mickeys or whatever I love that place and they name their yogurts like really stupid gay things they're like bottom banana they're like where my gays at

and by gays, I mean toppings. Who said there was a shortage of tops in West Hollywood? We got all the tops in here. Toppings. I went in there once and I saw... No bottom leaves unsatisfied with our toppings. They actually have Kit Kats as their

it-ats, it-at bars for some of their toppings, which I'm happy about. I saw Chris and Chena with their ones. It was very exciting. Oh, my God. I love her. Yeah. She was.

Popular. Do you want to be popular? Do you want to have It-Kat bars? Okay. So, anyway. So, we're back at the bar. And Sheena has made her way past all the locks, and they're all in there. Shay has-

Did you Google it? That's my favorite part. How did you guess that? Did you Google it? How did you know that? He's like, no, no, I just totally did it on accident. Kristen. Kristen, why are there so many doorknobs?

Kristen. Are there this many doorknobs to get in the Sunset Grill, Kristen? So, so they're in there and Sheena's complaining about how she needs to get ice and she doesn't know how to get ice for her wedding.

So then Tom schwartz gets the text from i think from jack's right uh and jack or maybe it's from whatever it was he got a text from someone being like fyi everyone it's like it's out that you had sex with some hoe in vegas so he's like sitting there like all confused and worried. So then he like taps Katie and is like, hey, Bobby. Hey, Bubba. Hey, Bubba. Can I come talk to you over here for a minute, Bubba? So he like drags her over to the corner and she's like, what?

And he's like, remember I told you I didn't have sex with anyone in Vegas? I may not have been 100% honest about that. So I sort of made out with someone after all. But now I have zero doubts about who I want to be with. I was like, shut up, Tom. She's like, but you're only telling me because Jax is going to tell me.

So that's what it's going to be like. And he's like, no, bubba. It's just been... I've been wanting to anyway, bub. Just didn't know. I don't know. You sort of look at me in that way and I don't want to do it. She's like... Oh my god. Poor horse face number two. She's just learned to be nice I just didn't know. Like, I don't know. You sort of like look at me in that way and I don't want to do it. And she's like. Oh, my God.

Poor horse face. Number two. She's just learned to be nice. And then she learned that Stassi was right the entire time. Exactly. It's like, Bubba, now I know I really want. We were in such a bad place, but now I know I really want to be with you, Bubba. I'm like, this guy is such a con artist. And I like that she has no reaction.

And, you know, he's obviously a slime bag but he comes off like he's got this a certain amount of charm on the show like he gets away with it i mean he's cute but in a rat face kind of a way so it's not like he's robert redford getting away with it but right he has this kind of charm but he was on watch he was on with horse face No. 2 on Watch What Happens Live, as I mentioned, and the bonus. And wow. I mean, it was really, really awkward to watch because Katie is acting like she's at the reunion.

Like, everything she's asked, she's trying to give a super bitchy answer. And he's like, Bertha wisconsin falls um england wants to know um what you think about you know sheena's wedding and she's like well maybe if she wanted to do it she should have you know she's like had that kind of attitude and then andy's you know straight up going after tom he's like so tom you said you didn't cheat but then you cheated and tom's like well you know and then and he's like yeah but Tom. You said you didn't cheat. But then you cheated. And Tom's like. Well. You know. And then.

And he's like. Yeah. But then you said it was only making out. But then Jax is saying. You like had sex. And then. Tom's like. Well.

You know. It's like. I mean. It was making out. It wasn't sex. But it's like making out. And maybe some other stuff. I mean. Who knows.

And starts laughing. And he's like. I was so drunk. And he rolls his eyes. Because it's so uncomfortable. And Katie's just like smiling and she's either getting a lot of weight or is pregnant which people are talking about on facebook as well but he is just such a douchebag in real life like he's making jokes about cheating

on his girlfriend uh when he's sitting right next to her possibly pregnant class all class he's he's one of those like real like he's he's like the most dangerous kind of douchebag because he's like so sweet and charming or whatever but he's actually a huge douche and he's going nowhere in life i mean he couldn't even handle his one shift at pump you know so he'd like he's don't i mean i don't know even know what his what he does he had like that one model gig where admittedly he was adorable but like he's he's the sort of guy who gets away with shit over and over and over again because he's cute and he's like oh i'm sorry and katie is like once they start talking about it and

fighting over which it wasn't really even a fight she's just you know what i really want is for you to make an effort in this relationship and like prove to me that you're ready and that you're going to be a good husband and you're totally ready to do this and you're responsible and you're motivated. I'm like, uh, he can't do that because none of that is true. Exactly. Keep on looking girl or keep on cooking.

It's your choice. Yeah. And the best is when afterwards they, they return home and they're there. The argument continues and she's like you know talking about how he goes off and and cheats and she's like and i'm sitting here home alone on the couch and tom's like motorboating a d and he's like oh sorry bad joke i was like oh i was like oh timing is not your forte yeah now's not the time yeah yeah voting a d at this point she could have been sucking off a football team and she still Your forte. Yeah, now's not the time. Yeah. Motorboating a D. At this point, she could have been sucking off a football team, and she still would have had less cheating than you, fucker.

Yeah, exactly. Kristen! Kristen! So the real big thing of the episode was that in the wake of last week when Kristen told the manager, Diana, to suck a dick. So Kristen came into work and Lisa Vanderpump had put on her best lacy cuffs to scold Kristen. You know, she wore that. Lisa's really gotten into this whole like wearing a blazer with strange like i'm in morning black bands around the around like the elbows and little like lacy cuffs it's like a very strange like 1983 prince look you know

yeah so um so lisa and ken and guillermo and diana and then the other lady they were all like sitting down and there was basically like the trial of horse face number one so um so kristen sits down and she's like seriously seriously and um like wow look it's all for me i mean what did i do to deserve this wow like you're such a jack way to enter making jokes you stupid hooker yeah seriously so anyways uh guillermo and ken leave and so now it's like three ladies on one horse face and so basically lisa starts yelling at her lisa's like you're disrespectful it was like the first time that lisa actually i felt like seemed a little bit more like a boss than usual you know and i loved how in the middle of it kristen goes seriously i will get up and walk out of here it's like i don't think you get to call

that shot kristen you're the employee like that's it's not like you getting up and walking out of there is going to like give you any sort of leverage in this argument yeah you're about to get up and walk out of there not because because you chose to, stupid. Yeah, it's like, seriously, seriously? But that's the mom. But I wasn't on, I wasn't even like, I wasn't even on the clock. So, like, I was a customer. So, like, the manager came out and, like, told me to be quiet. What kind of manager does that?

That's a terrible manager. I don't appreciate how I was treated as a customer, so how about that? Yeah. Basically was her argument. Like, wow, go Yelp it, okay? Yeah, exactly. manager i don't appreciate how i was treated as a customer so how about that yeah basically was her argument like wow go yelp it okay yeah exactly that's because that's exactly how the world works and once you've once you're off the clock anything you do is totally fine like why don't you go hang out with ray rice see how that worked out for him snap seriously um, you snap. Seriously?

Seriously, doesn't she know I'm on a low-carb diet? I'm not going to hang out with any rice. Seriously? Doesn't she know I'm saving all my calories for the candy bar? Seriously, doesn't she know that Shina has a candy bar? And there are going to be idiot bars there. So, like, why would I hang out with rice? I'm bringing my Trader Joe's bag to Sheena's wedding.

I'm going to load up on all sorts of gummy worms and put them in my Trader Joe's bag and I'm going to eat them for the rest of the week. Seriously. Seriously. Because Tom really likes gummy worms and maybe he's coming back to me. You never know. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously.

I'm going to put some gummy worms in Tom's apartment and I'm going to leave a trail leading back to my apartment and then I'm just going to have one worms in Tom's apartment and I'm going to leave a trail leading back to my apartment. And then I'm just going to have one right in my vagina. Seriously, seriously. You know how people, how we were talking earlier about how people put sayings with quotes around them and then attribute them to themselves on Facebook and Instagram? Yeah. I want to do that because I'm trying to make surce a thing. Okay, like seriously, surce. Because they keep saying

seriously like shorten it like they do obby it's like it's like exome soros it's one of those things like it's it was so funny to me when i it's funny to me so i just say it all the time but nobody knows what the hell i'm talking about i'm like you haven't heard that sirs that's not a thing i guess it is it's a thing soros well i have to by the way give a shout out to um one of our facebook page people um oh i just scrolled right past it um who put up a picture of richard sherman and i know ronnie you didn't watch the super bowl but richard Sherman was one of the defenders. And they put up – so Seattle, for those of you who didn't watch, a.k.a. Ronnie, Seattle lost the last second. And then – so someone put up a picture of Richard Sherman going, seriously? Seriously?

I would say who that was. Oh, it was Teresa Maravich. Teresa also had like a very funny comment because – sorry, my computer is acting so slow. She basically was like, could you imagine Kristen being in the Nationwide ad? And so Ron, you didn't see the Nationwide ad, correct? No. So basically the ad was there was like this little boy who was like on a little tricycle. And he was like racing after these other kids on a bicycle and

they got away and he's like oh i'll never learn how to ride a bike like all sad and then he was like and i'll never get cooties and i'll never he's like doing all these saying all these things he'll never get to do he's like and i'll never get to explore the world and never this never that and then you're like oh poor kid why and's like, because I died in a home accident. I was like nationwide insurance. What the hell? Your kid may be dead and not allowed to do anything, but at least you'll have insurance money. Exactly.

So that was like it was like the it was like the most talked about commercial because everyone's like nice. Such a downer commercial. I was like, wow, that's depressing. So Teresa's like, could you depressing so theresa's like could you imagine now that kristen's fired because oh yeah kristen got fired so imagine kristen being like i'll never get to drink free wine and sir again i'll i'll never get to yell at jacks i'll never get to see tom because i got fired seriously seriously seriously talking about that firing Seriously? Seriously. Seriously! Talking about that firing,

there isn't even enough that we could say to do justice to that because it was just a beautiful moment in history. Because I love... Lisa pulled a Donald Trump where she's like, all right, we're going to shoot this for nine hours. All right? No one tell us she's fired until nine hours have passed you know and then they just uh go after her and she just keeps digging and digging and refusing to apologize

i mean what a fucking idiot it was so pleasant watching her get the boot it was great because i thought like i thought that at least was to say you know i'll give you a chance over chances over and over again and i should fire you but i can't because you're like you know i'll give you a chance over chances over and over again and i should fire you but i can't because you're like family so i'll give you one more chance but instead she was like as far as i'm concerned you're fired i was like what and then they cut to like the line cooks in the kitchen being like oh christian got fired like high five oh my god that was amazing yeah when the kitchen guys hate you, you're pretty much despicable. And then Kristen's like, seriously? Seriously?

She just gets up and storms out. Seriously? I'm going home. I'm going to get pissy on Chrissy. Seriously? Hey, let's get pissy on Chrissy. I was like, that is from Trader Joe's, and it was $4. And it was barefoot bubbly, which at least she admitted that. And her friend came over and was like, so how does it feel to be fired and not be able to pay your bills and she's like well shoulder shrug you know you know it's for the best like i know i'm never gonna work there again seriously seriously i just hope that tom saw my sign of my shit never mind wait no i just like

got basically totally tripped up on my words i I'm like, seriously? Seriously? I can't even finish my sentence. Seriously? Seriously? Seriously? Too many at-bars? Seriously? Yeah, I am so happy that we got to see her get fired. But I'm also terrified at the thought of Vanderpump Rules without Kristen.

Or Stassi. I mean, Stassi hasn't been on the past two episodes. Stassi, I don't miss at all. I'm like, bye. I don't miss Stassi either, but I'm just saying if you... There are no more crazy bitches left. Katie's crazy, but she's a good second fiddle

crazy. We need main leading lady crazy. She's not crazy. She's a bitch. I don't think she's crazy. Katie's a little crazy. She need main leading lady crazy. She's not crazy. She's a bitch. I don't think she's crazy. Katie's a little crazy. She has her mood swings. She's needy crazy and she gets drunk and she gets cryy. We need

some more crazy. I think that Stassi is done. I think she's off the show. Yeah, and I think that's the only reason she was crying because that last fight she tried to have with Horseface number two was pretty much the nail in her coffin. She's like, I can't believe you went

to Miami. That's disgusting. That's disgusting. What kind of friend are you? And Horseface two is like, shut the fuck up. It isn't about you. And Saucy's like, and then she did like Meryl streep and into the woods and just disappeared into the earth stop trying to pick fights with me that's what my

friend was like i don't even get into the woods i mean what even happened to meryl streep who just falls into the ground i was like who does that it that? It's not a mystery. She's like, I don't understand it. And I was like, I don't know how to explain it to you because it's not a mystery. So maybe Google it. Stassi's like,

Stassi's like, who throws magic beans in the ground and lets a giant come down from the sky? Who does that? What sort of mother giant goes and kills everyone? Who does that? That's disgusting Who goes into the woods to look for stuff?

Like, take a horse Who does that? Who goes and trusts a wolf? That's disgusting Who does that? Seriously, seriously Into the sir we go we go who says no to a prince i mean uh it's like turning down a whole career seriously who steps in tar seriously that's disgusting who does that steps in tar then tries to get away from prince charming

who is their shoes behind on purpose who does that oh who gives their golden slippers to people who does that um stassi is bye i think she's probably gone too so i guess next we're gonna have veil hopefully turn crazy i don't see that really happening i don't see that happening because veil's major contribution is like hi lisa that's like all she does every episode i forgot that veil was a hostess and not a waiter like i would understand a waiter or bartender because at least she'd make some bank but hostesses make like 12 an hour what the frick i know well i think she's probably trying to make a splash on the show. I mean, my favorite Val moment of the season, we didn't even talk about it.

It was last week when Kristen and Sheena were in a fight out front and Val comes out and she's like, Okay, guys, why don't we both calm down? And she's like, Val, I love you, but stay out of this. It's like, be quiet, Val. But you know what, though? This episode, there was still more. Kristen getting fired wasn't even like the conclusion. So then Kristen was like loafing around.

And then we cut to Jax and Tom. Tom comes over. And it was sort of like this very staged bro fight. But I think it turned into a real fight when like Tom was like, hey, dude. Well, first Jax was looking at his app. He was like looking at his app on his TV. And it's like this weird like footage of Jax like running in place. And Jax is like, hey, dude. Well, first Jax was looking at his app. He was looking at his app on his TV, and it's like this weird footage of Jax running in place. And Jax is like, that's pretty cool. And how awesome was it when that whole conversation started with, hey, dude, congrats on the app.

Hey, congrats on the app. And also congrats on being the worst friend in the world. And he's like, why do you always got to do this, Jax? And Jax is like, bro, whatever. Get out of my apartment. my apartment man tom's like no bro like you can't do this you don't even say you're sorry and he's like i'm not sorry yeah why would i be the only one every i'm the only one you know and you guys like everybody says stuff you don't have my back and he's like yes we do like do you know all the stuff we could have said about you and we didn't? And he's like, yeah, but I'm sick of everybody hating me. So, okay.

So now they hate all of you. Congratulations. I love how all these Sir kids, everything they do is wrapped up in this pseudo-integrity of wanting to clear their names. Kristen's like, seriously? I need to bring that girl here. I've been accused of being a liar for so long. I need to clear my name. Well, you have to clear my name well you

have to clear your name for a rumor that you started you know like or jack's being like i need to clear my name everyone thinks i'm starting this stuff but you guys are doing it too i need to clear my it's like how about you know it's a good way to clear your name don't like do shitty things in the first place yeah don't be fucking terrible in the first place disgusting disgusting disgusting oh um so next week it looks like it's she knows wedding i was getting a little worried that she knew his wedding would be the season finale and i was like i can't we can't have she knows wedding with the season finale but it doesn't look like this i think they went back and started filming more for the season really that's what i heard that they

were trying to film more to extend the season. They should just always be filming, and it should just be on all the time. Yeah, and it really could be, because most restaurants funnel through waiters and stuff. I mean, I hear that no one's really even working at Sir anymore. Probably not. I mean, why would they? Who does that? Who does that?

But do they have to keep the same shitty apartments? I wonder if that's a rule. I love their shitty apartments because they're actually like, their apartments are very much like all the apartments that everyone I know has, you know? I know, yeah. But, you know, the second any of us make any money, we're going to move. But they don't. They just stay there. Stassi has a new apartment, and her apartment has her, like, artwork on the walls, and there's a section where she can make her chunky jewelry. Because everyone needs a statement piece. Stassi and her art that she makes with duct tape and spray paint.

Who does that? Who makes art on the first floor? I have a second floor where I can make jewelry. Who does that? Who does that? Didn't Christina do something this episode? She showed up and was like, Stassi's, like, still mad at you. I mean, I assume that's what she said.

I don't even remember what she said. Pretty much. Well, Christina knows that she has to be nice to other people now because the cameras are not following Stassi around anymore. So I think she's gotten the hint that she needs to be nice to some other people. So now suddenly she's like, hi, what are you feeling? What are you feeling? I'm so sure. Get out of here, you trick you get a trick

yeah you toxic trick that's what it is not ghetto trick it's toxic i'm naming our um uh our episode as we speak and it's our bonus episode is not called ghetto trick it's toxic trick but didn't but vivica fox mentioned ghetto at one. Because that's the whole thing. She did. Well, she said both. But I think Toxic Trick is funnier. You should just call it By Trick. That was her best line.

By Trick. By Trick. Okay. By Trick. No, too late. I already saved it. Sorry, you lost. Because I'm in charge.

Is there anything else you would like to discuss there's i mean we we could talk top chef but i don't really want to okay i watched top chef because we thought we were going to be desperate for stuff to talk about this well you didn't but we could talk about yeah i watched it i mean i don't really have anything to say except boring snooze i like it i mean i like it but i'm you know whatever it's like there's just nothing to talk about. It's boring as hell. Who do you think is going to, let's see, we've got Gregory left and Dougie and May. And that's that. I mean, I don't even remember what happened.

It was a week ago. I just know that the other Asian girl was kicked off and everyone made good food. And Tom was like, you should all be really proud of yourself. You all did, like, really good food. And if you lost here, it's not because you lost. It's, you know, just other people made better food. And Tom was like, you should all be really proud of yourself. You all did really good food. And if you lost here, it's not because you lost. It's just other people made better food. It was really great. I was like, I'm so sorry, Danielle.

Please pack your knives and go. Yeah, Podman. They're like, oh, you know, this is aphrodisiac. And she's like, I'll let you know how it works out later. Shut up, Padma. I love Padma. Well, she posted something funny. Because remember when Rob Gronkowski was on?

Do you know who Rob Gronkowski is? No. He's on the Patriots. And, you know, since the Patriots just won the Super Bowl, which you didn't watch. So then what happened was, like, two days ago after like like a few days after well it was like two days after the super bowl padma posted a picture of her with rob gronkowski on instagram and she goes now that the hoopla is quieting down a bit my dear robert i am so so very proud of you i'm like come on babba no one calls him robert no one calls him robert first of all he's rob

gronkowski he's the biggest oaf on the planet He's not a Robert, he's a Rob And now that Hoopla's dying down Now he can hear you Come on, Pat Now he'll see your tweet But I love her Oh, Pod

I love her, what can I say? I love her I like her, okay I pod. I love her. What can I say? I love her. Um, I like her. Okay. I think she's done pretty good for a no talent hooker. No, she's gone a long way.

I love Pat. She's so beautiful. She's so beautiful. I just, I think she's the best. She is very beautiful. And I always tell the story about how, um,

that one time I did the red carpet for some weird bravo event and curtis stone came through and i asked him i because i had to go to a potluck later that night and i so i said to him i was like hey what should i make for the potluck he's like oh i don't know well like what do you have in your fridge just like you don't know like if you have some beef grill it up and put it on salad bring it that i don't know it was like really dismissive but then when i asked pamela she's like oh oh my god okay well you should do this this this this this and she gave me a she just gave me a whole recipe right in the spot i was like i love you padma that she probably stole from somebody else i don't care come on ben come on darling she was very sociable and then two days later i put on instagram now

that hoopla's died down i just want want to say, Padma, congratulations. I'm so, so, so very proud of you. Oh, Lord, Benjamin. I don't even know what to tell you at this point. Seriously? Seriously? Padma's over. Okay, Ben.

Padma's done. She will never be over. She is just a goddess. No, Padma is not done. Padma still has a long way to go in life. She's going to finish Top Chef and then she's going to end up hosting

QVC stuff probably. I don't know. She's got a long career ahead of her. I'm straight, but she is just one sexy lady. I would be her gay. I would be her gay. Padma, anytime you want it, I will become one of the gays. And you can

go on Bravo and say, I'm inviting my gays and I won't mind because I'd be your gay. Ben, you know, that's very this is a teachable moment, Ben. Who does that? Who volunteers to be a gay? Who volunteers to be a pat? I'm telling Andy Cohen. That's disgusting.

You're officially uninvited from my dessert bar. I'm inviting the mayor of Azusa instead. Hey, is this bonus episode 19 that we did today? Because that's amazing. It could be. I don't know. I'm going to look right now. I'm going on to SoundCloud.com.

Watch what crap happens. I'm writing bonus episode 19, y'all. I mean, that is some amazing stuff, if you think about it. It's a long time we've been together here doing those bonuses. I know, and the last few have been really fun. This one about the celebrity apprentice

was very fun. That's so embarrassing that my alarm is going off at 2.15. I guess that shows you the lifestyle I'm accustomed to. Mm-hmm. All right, well, let's end this up, because basically I am...

Disgusting! I'm disgusting. Who does that? I'm done. I'm done with you. I'm done speaking with you. Who does that? I would say K-bye, but the K is silent, so I'll just say bye. You're like, away, away.

Everybody, thank you so much for listening to our podcast today. You can find us at facebook.com slash watchwhatcrappens Come and talk to us. Talk to everybody else. You can support us on patreon.com

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I was like, okay. Thanks a lot, jerks. We couldn't even get ourselves some votes. Someone's got to vote for us. We have to feel. Never mind. Go to Patreon instead. And please enjoy this lovely Walmart commercial we're about to play for you. Oh, yes. We got

sponsors. Now, by the way, we're at $7.50 on Patreon, which means in $250 more worth of pledges, we go up to two full free episodes of Watch What Crappens per week. Oh my god, that makes me want to throw up thinking about it. It makes me so nervous. I know. We're going to talk about

the Food Network. Okay, so if you want a Food Network podcast, keep putting money in Patreon because we're close to it. We're going to have an entire podcast devoted to HGTV and the food network okay yep okay bye everybody thanks so much for listening we will talk to you later at a later time if you like listening to comedy try watching it on the internet the folks behind the sideshow network have launched

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