Watch What Crappens - #170: Cartinis, Stolen Houses and Bad Wigs

Episode Date: March 18, 2015

Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. Ronnie Karam (TrashTalkTV) and Ben Mandelker (bsideblog) hang out to ta...lk crap about NeNe?s terrible wigs and multiple personalities on Real Housewives of Atlanta, Kim and Kyle Witchard?s sad relationship on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Gamble?s face on Real Housewives of Melbourne, Stassi?s cum-uppance on Vanderpump Rules and the Queen of Reality bringing her own martini kit and butler to a party on the Southern Charm premiere. Join us! Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. Ronnie on the Web: http://www.trashtalktv.com Ronnie on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/trashtalkteevee Ronnie on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/trashtalktv Ronnie on Tumblr: http://trashtalktvrecaps.tumblr.com/ Ben on the Web: http://www.bsideblog.com Ben on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/bsideblog Ben on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/bsideblog Our Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/watch-what-crappens On iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/watch-what-crappens/id498130432?mt=2 Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what happens. Watch what happens. Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? Watch what happens. Watch what happens. Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? Hey everyone, welcome to another episode of Watch What Crappens, the podcast about all the crap we love to talk about on Bravo. I'm Ronnie Karam from Trash Talk TV, and with me is the lovely, talented, thin, gorgeous, and fully head of hair headed... Well, not totally.
Starting point is 00:00:56 Ben Mandelker of the Banter Blender and B-Side blog. Welcome, Ben. Thanks, Ronnie. You're so kind. I don't have all my hair necessarily, but enough to get by. Ben, for someone who's in his mid-40s, you've still got a lot of hair. You're doing great. You guys can find... I have a sty, everyone.
Starting point is 00:01:17 Ben has good hair and a sty. Yeah. Because he got poop in his eye. I got poop in my eye. So you can find all of our following info or Twitter, blah-de-blah, on watchwhatcrappens.com. Also, come on to facebook.com slash watchwhatcrappens to talk to other listeners and comment on our show threads. And generally, just laugh your ass off and have a good time. People post the most hilarious shit on there.
Starting point is 00:01:43 Totally worth it. Totally fair. often have a good time people post the most hilarious shit on there totally worth it totally for also uh if you want more from this show come to patreon.com slash watch what crap happens that's p-a-t-r-e-o-n.com slash watch what crap happens because there you can subscribe and when you subscribe there's different uh bonus things like bonus episodes monthly ringers uh tomorrow night we're having our Google Hangouts party where we just go party for an hour, an hour and a half or whatever with
Starting point is 00:02:10 you guys and I'll talk. It's super fun. And also that's happening tomorrow night at 7pm Pacific time, just so all of you know there who want to come do it with us. Yeah, it's going to be super fun. And by the way, I'm just looking at our Facebook page.
Starting point is 00:02:34 We're at like basically 3,147 likes, which means we're getting super close to our goal of 10,000 likes. Almost there. Slowly but surely, we're going to get there. Well, do you think we should do that pay for likes thing that people do where they're like, you know, pay for it,'ll put your thing everywhere and then people will like it yeah no one's gonna like it if the people will just pay and no one's gonna like it just who have you ever liked something just because you see it on facebook no but i see them all the time and they're mostly for dentists it's like dentist robert bloody blah i'm like why why would i like that? It's just annoying because when we try to get cool things for our podcasts, they're like, well, tell us about your social media. How many likes do you have? I'm like, 3,000.
Starting point is 00:03:13 I'm like, okay, thanks. People are like, that's all they care about is your likes on Facebook. We're more than that. We're a highly engaged community. Yeah, our Facebook, I don't care about that because this shit is hilarious. And I think maybe if it got too big, it would get uncomfortable because people get a little too rowdy when there's too many. I like that we kind of know the people who comment in here. I like that.
Starting point is 00:03:33 It's like a little community, little community of faith, guys. That was my preschool name, community of faith. Well, actually, the best part is that we, the people who are on the facebook page are actually like smart and cool and nice and so like because you know if you if you wind up having like a facebook community with like the youtube commenters of the world then it'd be a disaster but like as it is people write funny things on it and they engage in funny ways and they post funny links so we have to count our blessings that we have good listeners and good facebook fans um yes and i'm actually reading some stuff on here right now and it's totally getting me um horny yeah horny darling thank you for all the horny messages you post on facebook everybody
Starting point is 00:04:17 oh i love that social media i love that social it gets me totally turning yeah bony time bony bone yeah wait can i can i do like i'm sorry everyone who's listening can i give like a little plug for something and i swear they won't get the bravo i'm really sorry i know people hate it but um someone actually messaged us this week uh she wanted to know my uber code because she wants to be a driver and so i want to i know this is terrible but i'm gonna give my uber code out because you can get $150. I'm sorry. You can get $150 if you sign up. If you want to be a driver, the code is MB3JD.
Starting point is 00:04:50 That's it. It's over. All right, then. So there you go. There's your new career, everybody. There's your new career. $150 in the pocket. You're going to give yourself too much competition. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:02 Well, good. I am – okay. competition yeah well good i am okay let's start with beverly hills because there's this stuff on our page actually about how kyle did steal her house yeah do you know what this is could you explain it because now it's making my head spin because after watching the show i'm like oh they didn't steal your house they paid you for your part of it. So how did they steal it? And now everybody's saying that they did steal it. So Sydney Charlotte wrote on our Facebook page a very long comment. And since you put all the time into writing this comment, I might as well read it because it has to do with this.
Starting point is 00:05:37 So Sydney says, this is a repost from a comment. Okay, so she said, If they bought out Kathy and Kim, they both would have to sign over, quit claim deeds to Kyle and Maurice or whatever Intuity they hold title in. These properties are going to be insured and mortgaged. So basically the point is this. A lot of that doesn't make sense to me, but it's like you don't just have the house sold out from under you. It's like that's a process. You have probably many chances to object. Oh, and then Sydney has a theory.
Starting point is 00:06:24 My bet is Kim has forgotten more than she would care to admit since she admits nothing. Well, all of these docs have to be notarized and properly witnessed or they are ruled invalid. It is pretty hard to steal anyone's property. Maybe when she was back on the prairie that happened, but it was pretty hard
Starting point is 00:06:40 and Kyle is not that smart. Kathy is not that dumb. And Maurice would be out of a job if he was involved in any fraud taxes, having to pay doc stamps at the courthouse, etc. I would love to see the documents on all this, but it is in California and I'm in Florida. No access, but there's my thoughts on the subject.
Starting point is 00:06:55 Sydney, thank you very much. Manolet said, Cindy showed me this clip. It seems like Kim borrowed $20,000 from Kyle and Mauricio against the house, but when she wanted to pay the $20,000 back, they wouldn't take her check. That house is in no way only worth $60,000, $20,000 for each daughter. Kathy probably got a lot more than $20,000 when she sold her one-third to Kyle and Mauricio, so it seems like they did take advantage of Kim.
Starting point is 00:07:16 I wouldn't put it past them. It also explains why Kathy seems closer to Kim than Kyle and seems to protect Kim from Kyle. Right. I mean, I think probably the truth is somewhere in between both of these comments. Yes, Kim probably had many chances to stop whatever she claims happened,
Starting point is 00:07:33 but there probably was some shiftiness too. Okay, well that's fair. Because for me, it just seems like Kim's a total loony tune. And when Kyle called her out during that fight, when Kim's like, you didn't even give me a chance and I didn't even know until this house was in escrow.
Starting point is 00:07:49 She's like, your daughter was on the listing with my daughter and you, you, I have to cancel checks, dumb shit. And then Kim's like, you lie! You lie! Yeah, Kim's like, you lie! You lie! But by the way, this also underscores why I love...
Starting point is 00:08:05 That needs to be a ringer this month, by the way. I pity the poor person who puts that on their phone in a public space. All of a sudden be like, is there a chicken squawking around here? But, you know, this also gets back to why I love The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and why I'm loving this season. Because, first of all, the stuff is real. Like, this is real shit between these sisters, just as it was season one and some of the other seasons. And also, I mean, how great. This house thing, for it to resurface, is this the fifth season or something like that?
Starting point is 00:08:47 Yeah, to resurface at the end of the fifth season when it was brought up at the end of the first. I mean, it's kind of amazing. And it doesn't feel like it's a manipulation or anything. It's like, this is some deep shit that is haunting these sisters and will keep them from ever being the sisters that they want to be. haunting these sisters and will keep them from ever being the sisters that they want to be. Also, it's really seaworthy of Kyle to bring
Starting point is 00:09:10 Kim to Palm Springs. He's like, let's talk about our issues in my new mansion in Palm Springs. I know. Although I have to agree with Shannon Smith McKeown, whatever. Sorry, Shannon. Where she says, that freaking gorgeous new...
Starting point is 00:09:27 Uh-oh, Ben's gone. Let's pray for Ben to return to the podcast. Ben! On my own, pretending you're beside me. I was just
Starting point is 00:09:42 talking about Kyle's house about like when when uh our listener said shannon smith mccune uh said that freaking gorgeous new house at cowbot i would be down there every chance i could i mean it is a gorgeous it is a gorgeous house that she has i have to give her credit for that yeah oh is that the end yeah that is a gorgeous house it really is beautiful and i would just be staying there all the time if that was my sister don't be jelly just get an extra key yeah by the way gorgeous house also very cold and impersonal yeah it's like one of those they're like it's faux painted yeah are we still doing that i guess in palm springs they're still doing
Starting point is 00:10:23 that but guys let's stop faux painting. Okay. Okay. Just get a sponge and paint the walls. That's not how it works. All right. We're back to solids now. By the way,
Starting point is 00:10:32 I also have to say like, it is a, I mean, I, I think it's a beautiful house. I think it's one of the best houses that we've seen on the housewives. But when Kyle's like, yeah,
Starting point is 00:10:41 well, you know, we have such a big family. It's just hard to find a house where we can all be together. I'm like, lady, I support you getting that house because you can afford it. And it's wonderful. But don't act like this was the only house that could fit your family of like six people. Like people fit in much smaller houses.
Starting point is 00:10:59 Just say that you got it because you had the money and you liked it. It was big. Hell yeah. It's way cheaper in Palm Springs than it is in L.A. I mean, that house is way nicer than her beverly hills house yeah of course maybe it's because faye didn't design it oh god i don't think you should be allowed to brag about your house because you're not that rich if you go stand out to look around and then you can see all the neighbors right that means you're still middle class darling and by the way so Kim does not she has some real resentment about this house
Starting point is 00:11:29 she's like the first time you invite me to this house to talk about whatever I think Kim's got to get over that also to be honest like how's it allowed to have a house in Palm Springs and you know that family's given so much money to Kim over the years Kim hasn't made money since she was 12 you know that family's been taking care of her ass for years.
Starting point is 00:11:45 Yeah. How about stop putting money into your devil dog and, yeah, into your nose and your devil dog and to chicken salad and put it into a jar for a house of your own. And your Bentley lease or whatever the fuck you're driving now. Yeah. I need a Bentley. I'll have Betty Davis's wig. I'll trade you. That's right. We never talked about that crazy story that Kim told about how she, like, trapped Betty Davis's wig will trade you. That's right.
Starting point is 00:12:05 We never talked about that crazy story that Kim told about how she, like, trapped Betty Davis. It was like, I gotcha. I was like, that is a fucked up story. Yeah. Shaving Betty Davis. And then Betty Davis murdered her. Yeah, exactly. All right.
Starting point is 00:12:18 So we open this episode. Let's go back to the beginning. We open this episode. We're still in Amsterdam. They meet in some fucking flower shop, which I don't know why they back to the beginning. We open this episode, we're still in Amsterdam, they meet in some fucking flower shop, which I don't know why they needed to do that. And Brandy tries apologizing to Lisa, and Lisa's like, no, darling, I don't accept it.
Starting point is 00:12:33 You need to grow up, blah, blah. And Brandy's like, what? And good for Lisa, by the way, good for Lisa, because, you know, that's, I mean, that's what Brandy's whole MO is, that she does something, and then she apologizes and gives you some flowers. I was just kidding! What? It's about time that Brandy got some tough love. You can only say, I'm sorry, so many times.
Starting point is 00:12:56 And Kim's like... It was a joke! I mean, what the heck? It was just a joke, guys. Yeah, well, I'm sure she wouldn't be saying the same thing if Lisa Rinna made a joke about her sobriety. Yeah. If someone said, hey, Kim, you thirsty? She'd be like, oh, God, there you. Swat pig. Keep it out of your mouth.
Starting point is 00:13:20 Keep my name out of your mouth. Yeah, keep it out of your mouth. Keep it out of your mouth. Keep my name out of your mouth. Yeah, keep it out of your mouth. When she talked to Adrian later in the episode, which Adrian Maloof, I mean, someone actually, I think, commented on our Facebook page or on the recap comment. But someone said, Adrian, Brandy is making Adrian Maloof's face look normal, which is true. Like, I don't know if it's just that you get used to Adrian's face because we've seen it so long and it's been sanded down so much. But it just looks so nice now. It does. Right? It's soft that you get used to Adrienne's face because we've seen it so long and it's been sanded down so much. But it just looks so nice now.
Starting point is 00:13:47 It does. It's soft enough. Yeah. Divorce looks good on her. I think it's like when you pass those gargoyles at the library every day. They just start looking less scary because you get used to seeing them. But Brandy's face gets scarier because it just keeps changing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:03 Yeah, exactly. And on top of that, Brandy's face didn't even have to change in the first place because she was really pretty to start with. Well, I wouldn't go that far. Listen, I can't stand Brandy, but I'm not gonna take that away from her. She has a
Starting point is 00:14:17 rat face. No, I think when she first showed up, I thought she was pretty. She has, like, little beady eyes and, like, these puckered lips. Well, they're beady now because she's given herself like plastic surgery style eyes. You know, like I have a brandy gland of lie going on myself right now. But I think when she first popped up on the scene, her cheeks weren't as full of filler. And I thought that she was I thought she looked great. She needs to be in one of those hamster balls just running in the house, like bumping into things and then changing directions.
Starting point is 00:14:42 And then apologizing to the wall. Like, I'm sorry. I was kidding. I'm so sick of everybody else getting to bump into whatever walls they want. But when I do it, I'm an asshole. My dad's dying. Why is it that when I pee in the hamster bowl, everyone gets mad at me? But Lisa Rinna can pee wherever she wants in the hamster bowl, everyone gets mad at me, but Lisa really can pee wherever she wants in the hamster bowl.
Starting point is 00:15:08 The thing is this, with Brandy, just to get back to that apology thing, she offers Lisa some flowers, and I think if it had been the first time, Lisa would have accepted it, but again, this is a pattern with Brandy, is that she does something brash, she does something rude,
Starting point is 00:15:24 or she takes something too far and then apologizes after, and she doesn't think before she speaks, right? So Lisa is like, no, this is not good enough. And then Brandy gets this pissed off look on her face, like, fine, I apologize, you're being mean. And she later on is saying to someone,
Starting point is 00:15:40 like, you know, well, Lisa wasn't ready to apologize, and I totally get that. I get that. It's fine, it's her right. I'm like, don like don't say that brandy because you actually don't get it and you don't think it's her right because you now you're gonna be mad at lisa because she rejected you yes um well now let's go to uh brandy's blog because listening to her talk about um let's see apologies between lisa v and i seem to be forever ongoing and super one-sided Let's see. and talking about boyfriends. Sheena's happened to be my then-husband. Finally, the truth. Then Lisa V tweeted again, clarifying that she had been Sheena's friend for five years. How many times have I personally,
Starting point is 00:16:30 and you've heard Lisa V... God damn it, Brandy. How many times have I heard personally, and you've heard Lisa V say she's just an employee, and she's not my friend, and I don't know her? Thanks for finally admitting that a year later on Twitter. I found it all out a year ago as i've said numerous times and you wonder why our friendship went south bitch yeah listen up and
Starting point is 00:16:51 listen closely stupid face she knew her way before she knew you do you understand she did not bring some girl into your life to torture you she already knew her what does that have to do with you and why would that piss you off your husband was the one who fucked some whore not you know stop just stop yeah annoying it makes no sense your anger makes no sense at this point exactly and like you know brandy's stop being like have such a strict interpretation of all these things you know what i think when lisa says i don't know her, she means like, well, sure, I know who she is. She's my daughter's friend or she's my employee, but I'm not like, you know, I'm not like friends with her.
Starting point is 00:17:31 You know, it's just so ridiculous. And what you said is so correct. I mean, focus the rage at Eddie Cibrian. Don't focus on, I mean, Sheena's like, the fact that you could even let someone like Sheena get under your skin is so ridiculous. I how could how dare you make sheena look like the better person in this situation you know if you make us root for sheena no kidding your husband was off fucking some 20 year olds like who wouldn't like if i was 20 years old and eddie sibrian wanted to
Starting point is 00:18:00 fuck me and he was married i'd totally do him who cares like i would even think twice about it that ain't my husband if anything take pity on sheena because sheena was sold like the like a book of lies or i don't know what the expression is sold a bill of goods or something like that the point is this sheena thought she was going to go off and have a whole like life with eddie sabrian and she didn't so because she's too you know she was young and naive and stupid and and brandy should stop looking at she as if she's some like black widow figure and just get over it you know enough yeah i agree enough enough is enough she's just trying to come up with anything to hold against somebody else and it's not gonna work lady it's over and you can't try and be someone's friend after you knew that they already
Starting point is 00:18:45 knew this girl and then suddenly use it years later because you need a storyline shut up brandy just shut up and you know you should also be soft towards sheena because you have one thing in common and that's the same strain of herpes all right it's like a hug that's like an std hug turn around in her chair right now and cry. But it's all a joke. Sorry. Just kidding. So this is back to Brandi's blog. So cut to Kyle showing her newest real estate purchase in Palm Springs.
Starting point is 00:19:13 Kyle has decided the best possible place to talk to her sister is in the enormous multimillion-dollar house she just bought from selling her and Kim's shares of their deceased mother's house. This always confuses me. If Kim was not of the mind to enter into business at the time, it looks like Kyle took advantage of her. If she was, it looks like a fast one was pulled. Clearly, Kim is still unhappy about whatever transpired, and Kyle is hiding something. Wasn't this the family house that Kim worked and paid for as a child star?
Starting point is 00:19:39 Anyway, ask Kim, not me. But don't ask Kyle unless you're a gossip site or a magazine. Kyle's been giving tons of interviews about her sister lately even though they haven't talked in many months but file that under keeping kim's private life private right kyle again you don't know what the fuck you're talking about yeah that house was owned by kathy their mother and even if kim did pay for in the fucking 60s or whatever it was not worth anything near what this multi-million dollar house was worth okay palm springs you can get a house for a couple hundred thousand dollars in palm springs okay yeah also by the way mauricio has like a very successful he's the top real estate
Starting point is 00:20:16 agent in los angeles he didn't just use that money please i don't think yeah like it's exactly you know just because he's on a reality show on bravo doesn't mean that he's also that he's not incredibly successful i mean if you read uh curb la and you read you know his name pops up all the time with things that like the deals that go down i mean when he when you broker some of these huge sales as he has done you get like a hefty commission i mean this is well he owns the company now but yeah well he has done, you get like a hefty commission. I mean, this is, well, he owns the company now. Yeah. Well,
Starting point is 00:20:47 he has his own company now and what's it isn't called the company, right. Or the agency. But the thing is that, uh, I agree with what you're saying that this was, this house was not, it was not purchased with him,
Starting point is 00:20:59 you know, $20,000 or whatever. This is like a zillion dollar house. Okay. And stop being mad at people because they have jobs. And get over it too, by the way, like it's a house.
Starting point is 00:21:10 I understand there's like memories associated with it, whatever, but you don't remember any of them anyway, because you were high. Yeah. Yeah. That's my nice insensitive way of dealing with it. Anyway.
Starting point is 00:21:21 Yeah. This is a lot of Brandy stuff, but mostly it's because I started on her blog and the whole episode revolved around what an ass brandy's being and refuses to just say she's sorry it's just so old and kim doesn't even know what the hell's going on still she's just mad because brandy told her to be like what i'm it's yeah what are you mad about now exactly well i i like uh karen donaldson zarwitz who said um how completely normal is it is to assuage your sadness at your father's hospitalization by getting a 24 thousand dollar facial and the fact that yoli is going to kill herself
Starting point is 00:21:56 uh if she keeps getting vitamin four drops at a strip mall spa which is so that's basically what happened in terms of Brandy. After all this happened, her dad is like, had three blackouts in a row, his heart's failing, and she goes and gets a facial instead of going up to Sacramento. Well, at least she cried during it. Yeah, she did.
Starting point is 00:22:16 She definitely did. Playing the victim card again. Now that we're talking about playing the victim card, I do have to say, this Lisa Vanderpump thing, enough. I think Lisa's a little overdoing it there. She's like, darling, I was assaulted. talking about playing the victim card i do have to say this lisa vanderpump thing enough i think lisa's a little overdoing it there she's like darling i was assaulted i've never felt so
Starting point is 00:22:31 assaulted in my life i've blah blah ken darling i don't feel right about it it's like shut up you know she was kidding yes it's never okay to slap somebody i get it but enough already okay just it's like from that movie the ref and christine baranski is like see that cross up there why don't you crawl up there and nail yourself to it calm down lisa vanderpump okay she didn't beat the shit out of you she just like but she's been saying that though but she you know lisa has has said that like it wasn't like it didn't hurt or anything. She said she was trying to be playful, but that it still crossed the line. So it's not like she's totally –
Starting point is 00:23:09 She was on the show. She's not doing the Brandy thing. She said that outside of it. But she says after two scenes of whining about it where she's like, it's not like Tyson punched me to the ground and knocked me out. But I still felt violated. And in her blog, she's like, I had to go to the bathroom and cry because I've never felt so violated I was like really if that's the most violated you've ever felt you're the luckiest
Starting point is 00:23:30 fucking person alive no matter how much money you have oh yeah I'm not gonna argue with that that's very true but at the same time this is also you know if you're comparing it also to Brandy who when she was escorting Kim out of Eileen Davidson's house like Kyle like pushes her hand out of the way,
Starting point is 00:23:45 and then Brandi's like, you assaulted me. You slapped my hand. You hurt my hand. You hit people in public. I was scratched up. I had to go get bandages. Brandi didn't even qualify that.
Starting point is 00:23:56 No, and she's still doing that. She's still doing that with this trip, where she's like, Lisa Rinna can throw a glass at somebody and cover them with glass. Like, Lisa Rinna can throw a glass at somebody and cover them with glass. That's because Lisa Rinna was trying to reach out to Kim, and Kim got naggy and then hit way below the belt. That's the difference.
Starting point is 00:24:17 That's why people don't get mad. I got a cut on my throat. My throat's bleeding. I was sucking the wine out of my dress, and I got a glass shard in there. I'm suing you! Let's see here. They all talk about the sex stuff. Blah, blah, blah.
Starting point is 00:24:35 Oh my God, Yolanda's speech. Okay, Yolanda. Sitting at the head of the table at a dinner does not mean you need to give a speech every fucking time, Yolanda. Hello, welcome to the dinner. I love these canals because these are the first time that i ever heard a song produced by my lovely david david my love thank you so much for everything you do for me and taking care of my terminal disease from that tick david thank you for the time you put a lemon in my water. It was the first time I ever felt better. David.
Starting point is 00:25:08 Shut up. It's like I imagine you're at McDonald's. She's there on a rest stop on a drive up to San Francisco. She's like, I just want to take a moment before we dig into our happy meals and Big Macs. I just would like to say, I would like to give a toast to David. You know, because, you know, fast food reminds me of David because we fell in love so fast, you know. And it was so deeply satisfying that I just want to say that when I think about David, I think about how fast our courtship was and how slow I want to take it from here. Yeah, and after all that fast food, you feel so good and you feel so in love and then you just feel so unhealthy for the rest of the marriage.
Starting point is 00:25:44 good and you feel so in love and then you just feel so unhealthy for the rest of the marriage i feel like where every time i have a happy meal i think about how happy that david makes me each and every day and how i want to give him a little toy like welcome to the mcdonald's drive-thru can i help you i would like a number one with a side of david my love who has won 16 grammys they're on top of the piano also Also, I would like to thank the tenors in the basement, and I would like to send them a Hamburglar toy. I would like to order a David Foster
Starting point is 00:26:13 meal. I'm sorry, what is that? Oh, you know because David Foster's my number one, so basically I ordered a Big Mac, because that's the number one. I would like to order a number three, the quarter pounder meal in honor of Ben Vereen. Because Ben Vereen is a quarter pounder and I'm going to smash him down in my car. I would like to order a David Foster meal part two, which is, of course, the chicken tenders, because he's very tender to me.
Starting point is 00:26:44 He's my chicken tender i like to order also a i want to order i like to order also a fish fillet and dedicate that one to anwar because he is my favorite fish fillet he is like the fish fillet he is like that thing that comes around once a year that people think sounds pretty gross but they kind of eat it anyway i would like like to order the McRib for Gigi because she only ate a half almond yesterday and I can see her rib. Also, I would like to
Starting point is 00:27:12 order the two cheeseburgers meal for Bella because you can be the second cheeseburger but never be as good as the McRib. Two cheeseburgers don't equal one McRib. Poor girl. I would like to order a McDLT for Bella.
Starting point is 00:27:27 A McDLT? I would like to get her a McDLT because it's this thing that should be really pretty but it's going to get discontinued. Oh my god, the McDLT. I would then like to order an Arch Deluxe for Bella as well. I'd like to order a McPizza for Bella.
Starting point is 00:27:45 That is not a thing. It was a thing in the Northeast in the mid-90s, just like Bella is today. A thing that would go away. Into 90s. Oh my god. A McPizza? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:00 I saw somebody at Subway ordering one of the Subway pizzas the other day, and I was so grossed out by them. Like, as a human being. I was like, you're gross. I mean, maybe it's good. I don't know. But I was, like, super judgmental over it. I was like, you're a disgusting human being.
Starting point is 00:28:14 I don't want to know you. Let's see what else happened here. Brandy's dad's dying. Adrian Maloof. I love that Adrian Maloof. Kim's like, and then you wouldn't believe it, what she did to me. And then they're talking about me at dinner, and I flipped
Starting point is 00:28:30 out, and then Kyle left, and I was like, back home, join your new friend! Yeah, what do you think of that? Adrian's like, I think you should have followed Kyle, talked about it. And then Kim's just, like, completely silent, like, looking around, like, who made me come here? No. Well, you know, by the way, silent, like looking around like, who made me come here? No.
Starting point is 00:28:45 Well, you know, by the way, the whole like the whole Palm Springs thing, it wound up like that. They wound up getting into a fight over the house. But when Kyle mentioned the fact to Kim that Brandy was saying that there should be an intervention, you know, Kim, that was sort of like that kind of got lost in the fray with all the house stuff. I wonder what Kim really thought about that. Kim didn't say anything. She ignored it at first. And then later she said, this is true. It's going to break my heart.
Starting point is 00:29:13 And Kim has not written a blog since that episode where Brandy was on the beach, you know, talking shit about her. And the last tweet that one of the last tweets that she had written before that episode was Brandy's my BFF and I don't care what anybody says. And we're still close and we're still talking every day and blah, blah, blah. And then I guess she saw that and realized that it was all true. Yeah. So that's pretty sad. She hasn't written her Bravo blog. She hasn't sent a tweet.
Starting point is 00:29:39 She's basically like just given up on life pretty much. She's basically, like, just given up on life, pretty much. It's interesting that Bravo made it seem like that big fight where she says, you lie, you lie, was about Brandy, but it wasn't about Brandy at all, it was about the house. Yeah. Yeah, stupid Bravo, yeah. These sisters are fucked, and again, I blame the mom. Yeah, I mean, they're fucked, but also you see their ridiculous relationship when it's like, you lie, you lie! And then it's like, oh, Kyle, I love're sitting you know we have these problems god i mean we're sisters okay hugs and
Starting point is 00:30:13 it's like they're just so used to being toxic that it's like scream scream hug hug the end yeah well when they hug it's like everything is solved i mean these but it's and it's not solved i don't know i i i mean i think that kyle actually made it i think a fairly poignant point i think it was kyle who said that like she just doesn't think that they'll ever be the sisters that they that they want to be they love each other but they can't be the sisters to each other that they want to be which is kind of a very sad neither one of them i mean they're both too selfish yeah they are um one of my favorite uh pictures is kim giving paris hilton face in the mirror though i have to say that loved it oh gosh paris hilton looks like she'll be on next
Starting point is 00:30:52 week on the season finale so sad oh i know and it's all coming to a head that looks good yeah it looks like it'll be really good i can can't wait for this reunion. This reunion is going to be just amazing. I can't wait to see Brandy get called on all her shit, and then she's going to act like a victim again. We're going to hear a lot of this from Brandy. Meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, me the Flintstones. We're going to hear a lot of that. Kyle's going to be screaming at everybody and pointing her crooked man hands at everybody. Yeah, there'll be that.
Starting point is 00:31:32 Eileen's going to just give soap opera look while having nothing to say. Except... Eileen and Lisa will be great. I feel like Lisa, Renan, I think they will do very well on this reunion. I think Eileen really, what's she going to say? You're a drunk over and over again? I mean, she hasn't really done much else. I've enjoyed it for the most part,
Starting point is 00:31:47 but I'm kind of getting sick of her, like in, in her creepy Malibu home with her son. Like that's weird. I don't know. Do something when I'm used to you on days. Like, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:31:56 I need to see her be more of a villain. I can't just see her being like a nice. I like, I like how she is. What about, um, what about Brandy going on this date with that guy in Amsterdam? She didn't go to the dinner.
Starting point is 00:32:06 She instead went on a date. She went on a date with some busboy that Max knew? I mean, what the hell? I mean, the guy was hot for sure. Well, yeah, he's like 23. Who's not hot when they're 23? True. Well, I guess a lot of people.
Starting point is 00:32:20 He dressed nicely, too. I guess a lot of people. But still, you're the hottest when you're 23. So listen, if you're 23 out there and you feel ugly, who cares? Go fuck a lot of people anyway because it you're the hottest when you're 23. So listen, if you're at 23 out there and you feel ugly, who cares? Go fuck a lot of people anyway, because it's the hottest you're ever going to be. Oh, I wish I knew that. Oh, me too. I would have just had such a better time, but I still think that today.
Starting point is 00:32:36 I'm like, sure, I'm aging. I may be not be where I want to be in life, but it's only going to be worse tomorrow. So I'm going to enjoy what I have now. Maybe I have a few wrinkles. They're going to be worse tomorrow. Right I'm going to enjoy what I have now. Maybe I have a few wrinkles. They're going to be worse tomorrow. Right now is the youngest I'm ever going to be again, darling. That really took us to a special place. Pass me a busboy.
Starting point is 00:32:56 Yeah. Alright, let's change shows. Yay! I'm closing the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills window. Goodbye, darling. Gay wedding. Oh Beverly Hills window Goodbye darling, gay wedding Oh, can we talk about the gay wedding Where the grooms were named like Dominic and Mango Come on gay people
Starting point is 00:33:10 I know Let's stop naming each other fruits Naming ourselves after fruits That's a little too on the nose Okay, that was it Real Housewives of Atlanta darling Let's do, yeah, because this was a good episode this was so good
Starting point is 00:33:27 I actually took notes on this one Real Housewives of Atlanta has been I just have loved it all season it's been a good season but this episode this episode got me fired up I haven't been this fired up since earlier this season when
Starting point is 00:33:43 Claudia Jordan read Nini and once again Nini was the reason why I got fired up first I haven't been this fired up since earlier this season when Claudia Jordan read Nini. And once again, Nini was the reason why I got fired up. First of all, Nini's wig. I loved that someone wrote a comment on our page. I forget who. I'm sorry. But someone wrote a comment being like, like I saying how I love how we all give Nini the benefit of the doubt that her ridiculous wig had something to do with cinderella and then when we found out that she was just wearing that wig because she was just
Starting point is 00:34:08 wearing that wig wow i mean it was like a bride of frankenstein meets a troll doll situation i don't know what she was worse that wig or her weird sia wig so i am um criticizing people because it seems like everybody's on drugs but doesn't nini seem like she's on drugs no i think the only drug she's on is like the drug of narcissism i think she's just totally deranged um i don't know she's i think she's awful yeah she is awful but she seems to be i mean i get bipolarism and all of that stuff but she just seems to be too crazy to not be on something because she doesn't even seem to remember half the shit that she said yeah i mean i i wouldn't be surprised if she were bipolar although you know not to diagnose to
Starting point is 00:34:55 follow dr jeff or whatever his name was but she she really is like she it's like you never know what side you're gonna get with her it's it's crazy um so let's start where would you like to stop being well why don't we talk with um phaedra being mad at candy okay so this started at porsche's house with porsche cooking with her new blonde hair her new beyonce yeah yeah um this scene was really funny just because both those women I think are really funny. Yeah. From Wondery, this is Black History for Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History?
Starting point is 00:35:39 Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of black history that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less.
Starting point is 00:35:59 In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some. As a fighter for black rights, she is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Black is beautiful.
Starting point is 00:36:45 Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top 10, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus.
Starting point is 00:37:25 And then they start talking about Cynthia and all the problems with candy. First of all, Cynthia is a total asshole now. Now, how do you think this happened? Do you think it's just because Peter? Peter, I think that she decided that she won. I think it's a few things. Peter, the influence of Peter.
Starting point is 00:37:45 I think it's the general influence of Atlanta. I think Atlanta eventually makes people be ridiculous. I think part of it is, I think that liberation from Nini, I think she has this false sense of empowerment or whatever. And she's acting out in this strange way. And I think it's also, she probably wants to save a spot for herself on the show. Well, what do you think about the stuff with,
Starting point is 00:38:11 what do you think about the stuff with Phaedra and Candy? Well, I think this is a situation where people have gotten into Phaedra's ear. I think it's a little both. They're wrong on both sides. I feel like I can see Candy being the type that suddenly just disappears. And that's I can see that being frustrating. But I can also see that you have someone like Nini and then you have like Portia like in Phaedra's ear more than happy to turn her against Candy. You know, like I think I don't think it doesn't seem like it was as bad as they made it sound like.
Starting point is 00:38:46 But for sure, Candy is not innocent either. Well, it's really Nini in her ear and turning. Yeah, really. Yeah, for sure. I mean, when Nini's calling you every day, Nini, for the first two years you were on this show, wouldn't even admit to knowing you and called you a liar for even knowing each other. So, yeah, now suddenly Nini's being nice. You know, whenever Nini's being nice to you, there's an ulterior motive.
Starting point is 00:39:08 Yeah. In this case, I think it's just that she doesn't have a friend and she needs somebody tough to be friends with her. But yeah, I mean, I can see Candy being the type who just doesn't call you after she gets married to her midget because, you know, it's a lot of fun to be had. You can toss them in bars. You can carry around stepstools for them to be had you can toss them in bars you can carry around
Starting point is 00:39:25 step stools for him to play miss pac-man in pizza places there's a lot of fun to be had when you marry a lot of fun yeah you can put them on your shoulders and go to an amusement park but i can't see phaedra calling someone every day either to hang out or to be close i don't see phaedra being like hey girl how's it going with your play like ph, Phaedra doesn't care about that. Yeah. I mean, Candy, I do feel a little bad for Candy because that scene with her and Todd when they're doing pros and cons and Todd couldn't come up
Starting point is 00:39:54 with a single pro for Candy. That was such a piece of shit, man. God, I hope she just leaves him. Yeah, I mean, how about, here's a pro, how about she's supporting her life? He's such an arrogant little fuck. What is little fuck what is it what is it with the fucking little man complex he's so arrogant and is he's still mad about the prenup and he's still mad about mama joy he's still mad about all this shit you shouldn't
Starting point is 00:40:16 have gotten married you little idiot it's like he got one little show and now he thinks he's a baller and he doesn't need her anymore it's it's really sad. Like, every scene that Candy's in, it's like, pull out the umbrella because it's about to rain shit down on your head. Yeah, I mean, the fact that he couldn't come up with a pro is such bullshit. So awful. So nasty. I mean, I felt really bad for Candy. She gets trampled on. She does.
Starting point is 00:40:40 And she surrounds herself by abusive people because she just wants to get trampled on. Yeah. That being said, when she and Phaedra had their sit down, and Phaedra was like, you weren't there for me. And then Candy was like, well, see, now I had to play Mother's Love Clothes. And see, that was really hard for me, too. I was like, OK, I get too. I was like, okay. I get it. It is hard to tell people that they're out of work.
Starting point is 00:41:10 But I don't know. I think at that moment, it wasn't Candy's. It should not have been Candy's moment to say, hey, you weren't there for me when my place was closed. When Phaedra was going through a major family crisis. And Candy did acknowledge. Yeah, like i think the behind the scenes stuff is phaedra knows her husband's a criminal i mean do you really think it's a coincidence that apollo happened to get caught the minute he started uh giving phaedra attitude on tv like i think that the minute that he turned on phaedra on national tv and was disrespecting her and talking about how
Starting point is 00:41:43 he was dropping eight thousand dollars on strippers and it's his right because it's his money. And then he happens to get arrested. Phaedra's not stupid. She knows what he's doing and whether or not she had any part of it, which I totally think she did, but whether or not she had any part of it, she knew what he was up to and I don't think
Starting point is 00:42:00 it's any coincidence that he happened to get caught and she's totally free of any kind of prosecution i mean i don't know it's a fun conspiracy theory and if it were true i i wouldn't be surprised if it were true but i have no idea if it is true because it is it is i just can't feel too sorry for phadra like i can't be like oh poor phadra her husband is going to jail because she wanted his ass gone and now he's gone. Like to me, it's like, wow, girl, you got exactly what you wanted.
Starting point is 00:42:28 Good for you. I don't think like poor Phaedra at all. What probably happened was that Candy probably, you know, she said that she thinks that the kids should be able to visit Apollo. And Phaedra probably iced her out. And Candy was like, okay, I've said my piece and I, you know what? Like I know not to touch this area. So therefore, like that's what I assume happened.
Starting point is 00:42:47 And then all the guys were still friends, which probably pissed Phaedra off too. Because the guys were still hanging out together. I believe that Candy probably could have been a better friend. But I also believe that Candy seems like an inherently good person. And that if she didn't, if she wasn't reaching out to Phaedra, there's probably some reason why she wasn't, aside from the fact that a mother's love closed. But by the way, I love – Candy's the only one on this show that I think is genuinely a nice, good girl. Yeah, and I love – but I do – I love watching Candy cry talk.
Starting point is 00:43:20 It is the funniest thing. It's like she's talking to a fan. I just don't know. Andy cry talk. It is the funniest thing. It's like she's talking to a fan. I just don't know. I just don't know why you have to talk to other people. Like, why are you talking to me? Like,
Starting point is 00:43:35 like I would never talk to Nini. It's like that. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder, can people actually understand what I'm saying? Or do I just sound like a bunch of sounds? Because I know what I'm saying. But I'm like, I just sound like I'm just coming in and out. i love candy but i love phaedra too like i think i think she is shady fey fey but i really like her and i like her stupid one-liners and
Starting point is 00:44:13 she's like now i don't know why cynthia is so mad at me we've always been supportive of her my mother orders from the plus size catalog that she modeled for yeah i love that i also love that i do love that when phaedra like ponders out loud that she's for yeah i love that i also love that like that i do love that when phagia like ponders out loud that she's like she doesn't know why she and candy have grown so distant i'm like you don't know like it's like it's almost as if there were some like there's someone pulling the strings like some sort of like quote-unquote producer who is behind it all who is orchestrating this all i wonder i wonder why that all happened why they had to fight yeah um yeah okay so next i had the candy and todd pros and cons thing that was so sad she's like what about pros are you're beautiful you're charming you're wonderful he's like your pros
Starting point is 00:44:54 are uh can we talk about this later he's like your pros are uh i don't know i'm gonna go out to the room whatever man i don't know i gotta do work on go out to the room. Whatever, man. I don't know. I got to work on my Hollywood Divas now. That was sad. Okay, even sadder. Claudia stand-up. I love Claudia. She's one of my favorite people on the cast. I think she's very funny
Starting point is 00:45:17 when she reads Nini. But it just doesn't always translate to the stand-up. She's like, you know, all the men get to be funny, and the women just don't get to be funny. I'm like, it's not that they get to be funny. It's that they are funny. It's not an allowing thing.
Starting point is 00:45:35 Like, no one from the radio station is going to be like, okay, Claudia, you're free to be funny now, and suddenly you're going to be funny. Okay? Yeah. Portia's funny on there. But she would never be able to do stand-up. No porsche's funny on there but she would never be able to stand up no but she's funny on that show she's funny auditionation have you ever seen her on that uh i try not to she's yeah it's best to avoid it but i've watched a couple of times or seen clips and they showed it and she's really funny i mean most of it is because she's really stupid but
Starting point is 00:46:01 she's legit funny on there i'm i actually like like Portia more now on the show because I know that she's funny in real life. But there are different ways to be funny. You have to sort of know your lane when you are trying to be funny. And, you know, like stand-up, there was actually a period of time, like, I don't know, like 11 years ago when I thought, maybe I'll be a stand-up comedian. And then someone told me like no ben you will not be good at it because it's like wow nice friend well yeah take a guess who it was but um you know who you know if you think about it you can figure out who probably told me this
Starting point is 00:46:37 and but he was like listen you know to be to do stand-up requires a certain kind of type of timing. And I don't know. You have to just be – it's a different type of comedy. And it's just not my strongest suit. And so I never did it. Admittedly, I'm upset that I didn't do it because I would have rather done it and failed at it and been like, oh, I'm never doing that again. Rather than just take this guy's – just follow what this guy said blindly. But the truth is, I actually think he's right, too, if that makes sense.
Starting point is 00:47:11 No, there's all different kinds, and there's all different kinds of timing. There's all different kinds of funny. Most of it is just when you're needy enough that you need the approval of others from their laughter. It just takes desperation. It takes a certain desperation you know so i mean if i'm confident in life and everything's going well i just don't do stand-up you know but then when i'm feeling miserable and i i feel the need to be laughed at by random people
Starting point is 00:47:36 and you know talk about how pathetic i am in front of a group of people then i do it and it's great works out great guys yeah i think right now the only time i ever think about maybe doing stand-up is when i go to a really bad comedy show and i think huh i think i could probably do this better than them and then i think maybe i should be a stand-up and then afterwards i'm like no i don't want to be a stand-up well yeah it's kind of a pain in the ass it's a sad life but i love that stand-up that was talking to claudia and she's like how she was describing the difference between the black and the white clubs oh yeah at the black clubs we're like the white clubs like oh i know i mean it's hard i mean to be fair she also had a tough
Starting point is 00:48:16 situation which is that she only had one person in the audience which was dimitria but still no she would not dimitria is just giving her that dirty look the whole time. Demetra is like, okay, since I sat through this, do I get to be a full cast member now? Nope. Nope. So we're talking about all this dumb shit when the big thing of the day was the Nini therapy session. Attack Nini day. Yeah. What do you think?
Starting point is 00:48:41 I was really riveted. I was really, really I was really really into it I thought Dr. Jeff was actually doing a really good job much better than Andy Cohen ever does but it was so massively frustrating because the long and the short of it was that all the women had an issue with Nini and Nini just didn't want to hear it
Starting point is 00:49:03 even though she called everyone there and told everyone to be open she didn't want to hear it and she did the classic thing that these housewives always do which is to say i didn't realize it was gang up on nini day so i'm gonna leave well it wasn't gang up on nini day it just so happens that everyone has an issue with you and if you would just like sit and listen nini is the cause of every single issue that you can bring up in that group every single one there's not one you can bring up that that bitch does not have a hand in exactly and when uh and when dr jeff was like i am like i am like an observer but i'm also going to represent the group and he's like well first of all you can't represent the group okay because you don't know me like that
Starting point is 00:49:42 that's not the attitude you're supposed to have like don't be so fucking defensive just it wasn't he wasn't saying i'm gonna be you he wasn't saying like i'm in your head i'm gonna speak for nini he was saying i can't even i can't even yeah the group stupid the group stupid face oh my god um the best part is when she says nini finds the women to be negative that was my favorite when nini says she finds the other women to be negative i mean even kenya i mean kenya kenya is of course the number one like shitster yeah even more than nini yeah for sure but when kenya was trying to describe her issues you know you know again nini was just so just her she just wasn't open to it and i and i liked how dr jeff would check the women when they were being sarcastic he would he would tell them
Starting point is 00:50:36 to like change their the delivery and i was like i was getting so into it i was like yes like talk it out for real let's get to this but nini was like she was just being the crazy moose that she is and of course eventually stormed out yeah just like she always does walk away bitch just like she did on the apprentice she's like you're being nice to star jones and not me bye yeah uh by the way i also i liked on our facebook page alfonso lee kong la kong uh when goes, What kind of therapy session offers food? I noticed Candy was happy about that. Oh, did Portia make hamburger helper for Phaedra?
Starting point is 00:51:10 And they're all drinking wine. Yeah. That was awesome. That's how to have therapy right there. Yeah. Something happens with Real Housewives of Atlanta with me, where it's one of my favorite housewife shows, but when it comes to talking about it,
Starting point is 00:51:26 I really don't ever have that much to say about it. I think because the women on it are so vocal, and they're not passive-aggressive like the white housewife shows, where it takes a whole season for them to say something. On this show, they just get in front of each other's faces and they say it, and I laughed the whole time. So I don't have as much to make fun of on these shows, but I love this show they just get in front of each other's faces and they say it and i laughed the whole time so i don't have as much to make fun of on these shows but i love this show yeah i
Starting point is 00:51:49 thought that honestly i thought the therapy session was really great i could watch an hour of the atlanta women or at least nini like in this therapy session i just it's so it's so frustrating you know how she can call the women together under the guise of like being in a place of self-reflection and wanting to heal things. And yet she's just unwilling to take any responsibility in her parts in these things. Yeah, she's in that case. Because the truth is this. As much as you may hate Kenya or how bonkers as she is, she had a point, which was that, like, they made up. And the next time she saw her, she was, Nini was being nasty.
Starting point is 00:52:30 Like, why can't Nini even own up to that? It's more than just that Nini needs time. Sure, she needs time. But, like, why not, like, get this friendship on the road to healing by giving her at least, like, a hug hello back? on the road to healing by giving her at least a like a hug hello back the problem is nini's so crazy that when she was just ignoring her you know her diary room sessions or whatever she's like well i know we said we'd be friends but i'm not going to be friends with her now you know it's like she's just so crazy that you can't apply logic to nini there's no logic so it's almost pointless to talk about because you're just talking about someone being an asshole to keep their job.
Starting point is 00:53:06 You know, she's just being an asshole to keep her job. There's nothing you're going to do about it. There's no fixing her because she's just being wrong on purpose to make money. You know, I guess I was just really hopeful that Dr. Jeff would be able to have some sort of breakthrough with Nini. And it's like people are like nini is wrong and he's like nini what i think they're trying to say is that their feelings are maybe a little bit herded by the way that you were acting she's like you don't know me he's like well nini now in a sense i don't know you but in a sense i know you very well because of your spiritual nature and the way that it interacts with the
Starting point is 00:53:42 other ladies and their spiritual nature is like mayonnaise in a tuna salad you don't know why it goes in there it just does i'm like shut up i don't even know what the hell he's talking about half the time he just talks in a really nerdy voice so he can sound smart yeah well the thing is that she of course went storming out at the end uh i don't think that she's gonna go back into the therapy session i think i think she is actually gonna drive off lol, getting into the elevator with her. He's like, NeNe, now, NeNe, here's what we're doing. You're going to press a number on the elevator button, and then it's going to move because it's a moving vehicle.
Starting point is 00:54:17 Not like a car, but something that goes up and down. After you press this, a door is going to open, and you're going to be on the first floor, NeNe. It's like, okay, Dr. Obvious Jesus. It's just obviously obvious in a little suit. Get out of here. I just hope that next week's episode, after Nini leaves therapy, they just have like a whole session where they vent to Dr. Jeff about the way Nini is. And he just confirms them.
Starting point is 00:54:42 Yeah, you know what? She's just a crazy bitch. Sorry, everyone. Yeah, that's the end of it. Yeah. That would make me very happy. Yeah, and then let's talk about the issues between the other girls, because those are actually real, some of them.
Starting point is 00:54:52 At least, like, the Candy and Phaedra thing, or the Claudia. Well, I guess she only has a Nini thing. The Kenya. Hey, let's just have a one-on-one with Kenya for, like, five hours. Oh, God. It would be awful. She talked about her mom who doesn't believe that she exists. Okay, so are we done
Starting point is 00:55:12 with that? We've got a lot of shows today, y'all. We've got a lot of shows. We are done. Alright, then let's move on to the next show, which should be Vanderpump Drools. Do you agree? Sure. Let's talk about, again, some people not owning up to their actions.
Starting point is 00:55:30 We got Miss Stassi. Oh, my God. This reunion was amazing, watching them all rip Stassi apart. Oh, my God. And Stassi, like, not understanding why she gets the brunt of it. This is like Brandi Glanville again. Like, you know, these people, Brandi, Stassi, like, not understanding why she gets the brunt of it. This is like Brandi Glanville again.
Starting point is 00:55:45 Like, you know, these people, Brandi, Stassi, Nini, first of all, your names all end with an E sound. So I guess that's the common thread. But also, like, you know, stop playing this, like, victim. You have to look at your behavior. And when you ask, like, why am I the one who gets it? Why am I? Like, there's a reason why you're the common denominator. And look at your actions.
Starting point is 00:56:06 Because you're an asshole. You're an asshole. And, like, sure, other people on the cast may do asshole things. But with you, it's like, it's a pattern. It's what you do every single week, in and out. So that's what happens. Yeah, he's just being mean. It's like Tom said.
Starting point is 00:56:21 The rest of us do it with heart, Kristen. That was amazing. But the way you do it, Stassi us do it with heart, Kristen. That was amazing. But the way you do it, Stassi, you're just mean, Kristen. Stassi. Stassisten. Stassi. Kristen. God, Kristen. Stassi.
Starting point is 00:56:37 Well, to be honest, I think the biggest thing to come out of this hour was to learn that there was a sex tape. Stassi had a sex tape. Oh, this was juicy. Okay, now Stassi's the one who brings this up. She's like, oh, you want to know why I hate Sheena? Do you really want me to bring it up?
Starting point is 00:56:55 Like, she's threatening that it's going to be something really mean about Sheena. And Sheena's kind of looking scared, you know, like, as much as she can move her face. Or she was just daydreaming. I don't know. But her eyes were really wide and she was just like, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink. She looked more scared than the time she thought the Olive Garden in Azusa was closing down. She looked more scared than the time she thought that Benetton was out of crop tops. She looked more scared than the time that she thought they took off potato skins from the Elephant Bar menu.
Starting point is 00:57:26 She looked more scared than the cameraman did who was behind her when she was wearing her crop top dress and got her back fat flaps. She looked more scared than the time that she thought there might be another Instagram wedding planner she could have chosen instead. She looks more scared than the time she got her eyelash caught in a ceiling fan. I say! the time she got her eyelash caught in a ceiling fan yeah she looked terrified and i'm thinking she's about to drop some huge info on stacy i mean on uh sheena and she goes because she showed everyone this tape i was in and brings up the fact that she has a sex tape that her ex-boyfriend brought in, which I'm assuming was the guy we saw on season one or whatever. Season one, like that cheesy blonde guy. Yeah, whatever his name was. That she was boning.
Starting point is 00:58:17 And I guess she did like a solo sex tape. So it wasn't even a sex tape. It was just like a jerky jerk tape. And he apparently came into Sir and showed everybody on his cell phone. And Stassi was like, you should put that on TMZ. And then Stassi was like, you're not a good friend. And it turned into this huge thing where Stassi is like, oh, my God, that's so disrespectful that you watched it. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:58:39 Stassi, that's what people do with sex tapes. Yeah. And by the way, if Sheena had a sex tape and Stassi had control of it, what's the very first thing she would do? She would watch it. She would invite everyone over and she'd be like, oh, my God, we're going to look at this and we're going to laugh at it. That bitch would have had that streaming to the Apple TV. Yeah. Meanwhile, you know about the other gossip about the sex tape is that Lisa Vanderpump paid off.
Starting point is 00:59:03 Yeah, she paid off the guy to delete it and not sell it to the tabloids. And Stassi knew that and is still being a bitch to Lisa. Yeah, which is such a – I mean, to hear that. And Lisa – it's not even gossip. Lisa said it. She tweeted it. She said it on Twitter, which makes it truthful. But the fact that Lisa would do that for this wen. And then she would still be so ungrateful.
Starting point is 00:59:27 Just shows why Stassi gets all this shit thrown her way. Same reason why Brandy and Nini get it. Because they're spoiled brats who don't deserve the good things that people do for them. Yeah. And Lisa, again, in this episode, when she just told off stassi that was great yeah she's like i've done nothing but try and help you you've done nothing but disrespect me piss off or whatever yeah that was beautiful at this point it almost seemed as if horse face is more welcome and sir than stassi i mean lisa said like stassi's like not welcome she said the
Starting point is 01:00:02 relationship's over yada yada yada and by the, if Stassi thinks that sex tape is dead, is gone, she's got another thing coming. It's going to resurface. If it's been made – Well, I think she's counting on it. She knows she's not going to be back on this show. She doesn't have any other offers. She's going to be doing a podcast, which we know is the lowest – I know.
Starting point is 01:00:22 Sorry. I said that with such disdain. But that's her new job is doing a podcast. And I think she did it on purpose. we know it's the lowest I know sorry I said that with such disdain but you know she's gonna that's her new job is like doing a podcast and I think she did it on purpose to get herself a little press you know she's gonna have that vagina all over the place and try and get some underwear contract
Starting point is 01:00:35 or something cause she showed back up on the reunion like way slimmed down yeah yeah she did she was a little more slim and then she was like I cannot wait to get out of this room this is like the most uncomfortable i've been ever i'm like shut up stassi yeah shut up i love patricia murdoch said much much much too information when sandoval was describing what did or didn't happen with the miami girl oh yeah even the vanderpump sleazeballs were cringing no easy
Starting point is 01:01:00 task that was funny yeah he's like yeah yeah, she said she was, like, on her period, and then I had her prove it. Everybody here knows that I don't eat period, pussy. Everyone's like, whoa! First, like, she smelled like day-old bumblebee tuna fish, and you know I hate that, Christina. Like, when I was fingering
Starting point is 01:01:22 her, it felt like I was sticking my finger into old French toast in the batter that had been put on the sky. I didn't like that feeling, Crescent. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa. Oh, that was funny. Oh, Michael Cook said, I loved what Christine awarded the reunion. Oh, wait.
Starting point is 01:01:42 That's just funny. That was the best part of the reunion that she didn't even get asked to guest and she wasn't even mentioned like they didn't even mention the fact that like she was stassi's like co-conspirator she like they don't even wait even one of the people who came to hug everybody at the end like when the whole cast came out at the end with a glass of wine to do a toast i don't even think she was in that group yeah i just imagine christina standing at a window somewhere. And there's rain falling on the window.
Starting point is 01:02:08 And Amy Mann is playing sadly. While she has a hand up. And music from Magnolia is playing. While Christina is watching everyone else from Sir on the reunion. Whatever the song was. One is the loneliest. I am looking through these comments really quick. To see if we're missing anything, but
Starting point is 01:02:26 it was kind of uneventful. It was the same thing over and over, but god, I love that show. I'm so sad it's over. Yeah, well, I love that, again, Horseface is, like, still trying to stand up for Stassi, trying to get in where she can. And how about, there's a lot of stuff also with Tom and Katie,
Starting point is 01:02:42 just a lot of annoying stuff. And you know what? Katie with Stassi is all the same stuff. Yeah, I don't care about any of that stuff. We've already talked about that a zillion times. Bye! Bye, Ben. What was I going to say?
Starting point is 01:02:57 I think the show's going to have something new next week. They have a new episode listed next week, so I don't know if it's like their secrets revealed. Yeah, which I can't imagine what those secrets are. Stax is like, look, I have another genital wart. Yeah, they're like, look, no one in this cast washes their hands before returning to work. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:15 Huge secret revealed! Alright, let's move on to what do you want to do next? I want to do Melbourne. Melbourne! The Real Housewives of melbourne yeah um this is probably the best show well i don't know i think right now bravo's really killing it with everything we're covering i think has been very very good this season honestly even i i know you don't like shah's i actually watch shah's i can't uh and it's good it's so good it
Starting point is 01:03:43 is so far it's been i've been enjoying it all right if i get really depressed and desperate i'll catch up on it you won't you still won't like it but there i'll say this for briefly like a little shahs interlude um there was like a really like a good scene adam's uh strict like midwester in oklahoma parents came and uh there's like a nice breakthrough with adam and his dad it was nice it's like a nice moment on tv where the dad was like unaccepting of gay adam but it turns out he was actually pretty cool with it so and he didn't and reza didn't come in and crash at all reza was actually a facilitator towards this moment because what happened was they were having a little dinner
Starting point is 01:04:19 reza and adam and adam's parents and adam like, you were never there for me. You were never there for me. And like, you're always cold. You're always distant. And na-na-na-na-na-na-na. And the dad's like, well, it's funny because none of my sons really talk to me that much. And Adam's like, well, why do you think that is? And Riz is like, hey, stop that. Like, you should be nice. He's trying to have
Starting point is 01:04:39 a breakthrough with you. You should be nice to him. That's basically what it was and then they hugged and the dad was like you know uh you know i was hard i was strict i did a lot of things wrong but i'm always on your side and res is like well why don't you say i love you and he's like well uh that's hard for me to say but yeah i'll say it i love you i love you and then res is like well why don't you hug your dad hug your dad and then they hugged hug your dad and then we can all look at my 35 000 words that's so white by the way reza was on he kept on saying that a lot to the point where i was starting to get a
Starting point is 01:05:15 little annoyed he had to be like oh that's like white people like white people love to do this stuff but white people do that that's like that's not persian persians don't do that like white people don't like to talk about their emotions i was like okay reza like you know it's like cute at first but like the more you say it the more it's starting to sound a little you know it's just gross yeah i found him amusing in season one now he's just gross yeah i mean he has his moments he has his moments where i like him and he has a lot of moments where he's just an asshole yeah he's just a dick he was like good for he for instance he was good during the scene with adam he was he was saying things that you wish people would say in these scenes on reality tv and so it's like moments like that where i feel
Starting point is 01:05:53 like the smart side of reza uh comes out where i like him but then he spends the rest of the episode instigating fights and stuff but there was a fight there's another fight some random dude got called a sipa like she's some stupid indian well there was a tweet that i read where gg's like well you know i don't believe in violence but sometimes a bitch has got to be pumped punched in her face to learn a lesson and i'm talking about the indian bitch from shahs i was like damn yeah so i guess she punched her um there's a lot of shirvin being shirtless and he's got a really good body even though he looks like he's three feet tall and uh he's the one who looks like mike oh uh-huh uh-huh and then that guy kaz kaz whatever he showed up and he's super hot but he didn't take his shirt off so that's it. Yeah, I hate that show. Okay, so Real Housewives of Melbourne.
Starting point is 01:06:46 Yeah. I want a Bentley. What is that lady's accent? First of all, I can't believe Lydia called, what is her name? Petty Fleur. I can't believe Lydia called Petty Fleur a mongrel because Betty Fleur is like I'm Thai, I'm Irish Scottish, black
Starting point is 01:07:10 Indian she named like 30 things and Lydia's like Betty Fleur is sort of a mongrel she's like I'm gonna keep Mr. Figaro away from her don't want Mr. Figaro away from her.
Starting point is 01:07:27 I don't want Mr. Figaro to get eaten by her. Such a mongrel. So it started with Petty Fleur getting a Bentley. And she's like, I deserve Bentley. My husband, I made myself from nothing. So my husband, get me Bentley. She's like, can you put mirrors on the floor so I can look at my landing strip? It's like, ugh.
Starting point is 01:07:45 By the way, everything I said about Petty Fleur last week, I was like, you know, I sort of like Petty Fleur. I can look at my landing strip. It's like, oh, by the way, everything I said about Petty Fleur last week, I was like, you know, I sort of like Petty Fleur. I like a tough woman, whatever. I take it back.
Starting point is 01:07:50 Everyone. I apologize. She's awful. She's so awful. I apologize for everything I've ever said on this podcast. Petty Fleur is a little beast. She's a little, little Wolverine and awful, awful,
Starting point is 01:08:04 awful, awful. She's disgusting. I didn't awful. Awful, awful, awful. She is disgusting. I didn't write down too many notes for this. I wrote down her talking about the Bentley and then wanting to see her landing strip. She was ridiculous. How about her twerking in the costume shop?
Starting point is 01:08:18 Oh, God. She's like, I have nice tight white butt so I make twerk because I do it so good. no you don't no you don't that's not twerking it's like it's like a dog rubbing its butt up against the couch like over and over in slow motion slowly to the ground it's disgusting it's like get some preparation age and stop wiping that shit all over everything. That's nasty, girl. That ain't twerking. And she was really so vile,
Starting point is 01:08:51 the way she was bossing around that clerk at the costume shop. She's basically like a Halloween town, okay? She's not at like- Yeah, she's at like Party City. Yeah, she's like, Penelope, could you get me another witch's hat, please? This one doesn't fit me. Make sure it looks good on me. Make sure it makes my boobs look good.
Starting point is 01:09:03 I'd like another dress, please, Penelope. Yeah, she's like, I need tights that have never been worn like jesus lady yeah and then i like how like uh sean sean sean was like well then you can get that at a tight store this is a costume shop yeah it's my own time i like that sean sean's like get it yourself girl shine shine's kind of funny this season She's not even saying anything Every time they cut to her, she's like Well, I think it's a great time This is fun, it's my type of gal
Starting point is 01:09:32 I like it, I like it Costume shopping, that's fun Yeah, because last year her whole thing was She's like, I'm new here I mean, these women in Turok They're all crazy, Shine Shine Shine I mean, I'm a rock star We don't act like that
Starting point is 01:09:44 We're more like normal people, but with nicer cars. You know, these ladies are crazy. They're too rock. But now she's one of them. So she's just like, shine, shine, darling. Shine, shine. It's enough's enough, right? At one point, I figured, oh, I wish I remember what she said.
Starting point is 01:09:58 She made some joke. And then, like, she made a joke in the interview and then sort of, like, landed. And then she sort of sat there and, like, smiled. And then she's like, get it? That was a joke there. I wish she would show her husband more. I like her husband. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:12 He probably was like, oh, I got to get off this show. Yeah. It's like, I can't do this anymore, babe. They kept making fun of me in silver chair. Yeah. It's hard to go on tours with guys when they're just making fun of you the whole time, babe. He's like, this is going to ruin the la mascara ipo la mascara yeah have we heard about that la mascara uh they mentioned it like in
Starting point is 01:10:31 passing in the first episode i think they literally they were like at one point someone just went la mascara like in the party but um so petty fleur is really she's like a nasty diva, and I take back everything. She's awful. One of the most fun things in this episode was Gamble. Gamble. Oh, God. So Gamble. Hello, darling.
Starting point is 01:10:56 You know, the best thing about being friends with these women is they're the top, you know, they're the top of the line women. You've got to know these women. These are the sort of women you want to know. Like in her side. line women you gotta know these women these are the sort of women you want to know like in her son women yeah you gotta know these women i want to be on top of the gossip and then her like semi um special gay son love him yeah i know he's like just stepped out of beetlejuice yeah he's like i was expecting i was like half expecting when they were having that family dinner i was half expecting them all to stand up and start going, Deo, Deo.
Starting point is 01:11:31 They like how I want to go home, darling. With the gossip from the top women in town, darling. When I met Wolfie in Sydney. Oh, Wolfie. Wolfie. Wolfie. Wolfie woofie oh woofie oh woofie
Starting point is 01:11:47 you're gonna ask me to marry you of course woofie by the way i love woofie i do too he's so sweet he's like well i've been thinking about it and i was thinking that you know
Starting point is 01:11:58 i think i'd like to have you as my wife now oh woofie woofie when did you get this out when did you get this out what When did you get this out? What did she say? I don't know. She's like, oh, this is sentimental.
Starting point is 01:12:09 Oh, sentimental. When did you get this sentimental, woofie? Woofie. Oh, woofie. This is so romantic. They're at the Red Lobster. They're getting like cheesy biscuits. They're holding hands over the cheesy biscuits.
Starting point is 01:12:23 He's like, darling, it's the eHarmony. It was a long time ago. I think now it's time that we tie the knot. My heart's only got so long to go, and you're going to need some kind of living when I'm gone. She's like, I stay in the mental dome. She's like, this really is the ultimate feast, Wolfie. Aww.
Starting point is 01:12:44 I loved when Lydia I'm just jumping to random shit but I loved when Lydia was walking with her mom who's like the shit stirrer I love that her mom's like don't forgive anyone darling ever it's like the opposite of good mom advice but they're walking with the stupid dog
Starting point is 01:13:01 dressed like whatever Lydia just made this comment the mom's like, how was the birthday party, darling? And she's like, oh, mom, it was wonderful. You know, Janet is 56, and she just looks amazing. Janet is not 56. That bitch is 80 if she's a day.
Starting point is 01:13:20 Yeah. She looks amazing for 80, but not for 56. Yeah. Yeah, I love that. Well, I also love, by the way, I love how Janet hates Petty Fleur now. Because Petty Fleur took so long in the costume shop that Janet's like, oh, I rather don't like that. Janet's killing it this year. Janet's just total, not even trying to hide anything this year.
Starting point is 01:13:38 She's just like a total bitch, and I love it. Janet should be like the worst, because she is like a gossip. She's nasty she says shit behind everyone's back and yet it's just sort of like just laughing she's like oh darling i'm gonna love it she's so funny about it and i like that chica this year is like a little devilish chica so janet and chica take gamble because they want it they take her to lunch because they want to talk about all these rumors that janet's been here and this is this is post the uh murder mystery party that they had at Gamble's house.
Starting point is 01:14:07 Yeah, which was kind of boring because they were asking all the women to pay attention to something and none of them could do it. I know, exactly. And then Lydia somehow won, which just goes to show how bad the game was. Lydia could put two things together. Well, I think the mongrel did it with Dr. Fig in the background. And yes, I have given my The mongrel did it with fleas in the kennel
Starting point is 01:14:30 with Mr. Pootypoots. And Gamble's like, oh, we'll see if someone got it right. It's a romantic movie. Let's take a trip around the world and send everybody pictures of it, darling. We'll see.
Starting point is 01:14:45 Wait, what's the name of their dog? Um, oh, I just wrote Gamble's dog. Oh, Chance. Isn't it Chance or something? Because she's Gamble. She's like, I'm gambling my dog as Chance. So it's like Cash or something. Oh, it's Cash. That's right. Cash. Oh, Cash.
Starting point is 01:15:02 I like when she was like, so if you treat a dog like a human he's gonna treat you like a dog but if I treat a dog like a dog the dog treat you like a human I don't get it this blows my mind Wolfie she's like someone just punched me in the face
Starting point is 01:15:17 right now you wouldn't feel it if they did girl none of your face moves you know we make obviously it's like an obvious housewife joke, but that lady's upper face does not move. Only her bottom face. She's like one of those, like, cartoon things where they use someone's real face, but then they only make the mouth move. I still can't decide whether or not I like Gambler or not. I think I actually like her.
Starting point is 01:15:42 I like her. I think she's hilarious. And I think that, honestly, Wolfie is so sweet and adorable. I mean, he is great. I actually see why she fell for him. Yeah, and I like that she's like some old whore that just found love, you know?
Starting point is 01:15:57 He's basically transported out of Downton Abbey. He's like the sort of guy who goes after, you know, goes after what's-her-face. Like that, you know, that sweet count who asks Matthew's mother, what's her name again? Isabel. Isabel? Is that this season? Because I'm not caught up.
Starting point is 01:16:14 Oh, no. Well, you know, there's always like this humble, like, foppish man who's always like having his eye on Isabel or Matthew's mom. You know, that's why I think Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's like that guy.'s that's what i think oh yeah yeah he is like that guy and he's like remember that time when he was like we're both sad we're both horribly depressed and want to kill ourselves maybe we should be together and she's like i'm not ready to hold
Starting point is 01:16:36 your hand yeah lord this fucking show he's like a mix of her and the guy who was going after Edith, who had like a bad arm, you know? Just these like sad sacks. The one that disappeared? No, no. In the war? That's a different guy. Anybody who went after Edith, basically. Anyone who goes after Edith or Isabel is basically what Wolfie's like.
Starting point is 01:17:00 He's like, well, I would like to. I'm getting on in age and i'd like to ask you to have to be my wife right now because why not over these cheesy biscuits over these cheesy biscuits you know sitting here with my red lobster bib on i can't help but think about your wonderful e-harmony profile when you said that your favorite thing was just to live and laugh so this whole episode and i think it started in the last episode where Janet's like, I've heard gossip, you know, and I'd hate for this gossip to be spread about me. And who does this? Who spreads this gossip around like that?
Starting point is 01:17:35 Who would do something like this? Spreading awful gossip like that about some, like, bitch, you know, you're doing it all over national tv international tv i just struggle whether or not it'll be better to tell the person off but you know i don't want to say a thing and again i was like well you better say it now oh well that was great because they set her up at lunch and chica was part of this because last season chica just sat back and was like oh now girls but this year she's like well i would like to talk about secrets and rumors because if you hear a rumor about a friend what should you do with the rumor should you tell the friend should you just pretend the room is not there and believe in your friend
Starting point is 01:18:20 should you go to your friend and tell them at a lunch maybe with another friend get two friends together and tell them something at lunch and gamble's like what are you talking about i'll just be out a little right in there just say it now i've not a lot i know i fancy to hear no i'm keen to hear these rumors and janet's like well i hear you're having sex parties on facebook well it was a sex party and puts it on facebook yeah well no but at first i think that she said that she used to be a stripper she's like well i'm a stripper and a fall girl yeah she was a she was a whore basically no no no and they're like well then he had then he had sex parts what well that's ridiculous no what happened was I had a party.
Starting point is 01:19:05 I had some girls over. And they put things on. They wrote things on the wall. And that must have been words from, I don't know what you're talking about, Wolfie. And she's like, but I've heard it from everybody. I mean, it's not just one person. I've heard it from the entire. I've heard it from everybody.
Starting point is 01:19:19 I went to the meat shop. But say who? Was it from Wolfie? The butcher. It was the butcher at the meat shop. The man who worked at the McDonald's. The lady at the flower shop. But say who? Was it from Wolfie? The butcher. It was the butcher at the meat shop. The man who worked at the McDonald's. The lady at the flower shop. You know, I strictly only go to Burger King
Starting point is 01:19:32 so that's already a lie. But Gamble knows Janet already well enough to be like, you know who everybody is is spreading this Janet, Janet, and Janet. That's who she heard it from. And I love that she kept it open when janet's like i heard you a stripper and a call girl and campbell's like well i wasn't a stripper or a call girl like keep guessing bitch yeah i love that she's like i
Starting point is 01:19:55 was something but not one of those things yeah she's like i was a dominatrix doing porn does not make you a whore yeah Yeah. Doing porn is very different from being a shipper, okay? I was an on-screen personality. I was an on-screen personality. It was like entertainment tonight. Gamble's voice is the best voice this year. I was the Mary Hart of porn.
Starting point is 01:20:22 Oh my god, we haven't even mentioned Gina. What'd Gina do? Gina was just hanging around. Gina was just like, oh well, because Petty Fleur invited Gina over. She's like, so I've written a book. It's called Ditch the Bitch, or something like that. And basically what I'm saying is that
Starting point is 01:20:38 women can have their bitch personality, and so what I'm saying is ditch it, because we're all bitches and we can all do it. And this way, you learn to be nice. I'm like, way to set back the women's rights movement. There's the nasty bitch. There's the bitch bitch.
Starting point is 01:20:54 There's the fun bitch. There's the drinking bitch. Wow, great book. Go take it to the Andrea publishers. I'm sure they'll make something up. But I loved Gamble saying, Oh, another book by a society woman about nothing. That's just what the world needs, darling.
Starting point is 01:21:13 Meanwhile, I'm coming out with my own book called Wolfie and Oofie. It learns how to do an oofie with a wolf. I don't know what it means, but it's going to be five chapters. Wolfie, wolf. What else happened in the show? I think that was it, right? Well, yeah, because then, yeah, Petty Floor talked about the book again over dinner
Starting point is 01:21:30 and no one liked it. Yeah, that was basically it. Yeah, Petty Floor is just going to be the awful one. Yeah. Basically. Yeah. Okay, so last but not least, we've got... Be-da-ba-da-bee-bee-doo-doo-sweet-a-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba- By the way, I'm so happy that they fixed the opening credits. I remember last season I complained about how the music faded out awkwardly at the end of the opening credits.
Starting point is 01:21:56 And now they actually end it properly without it. Oh, I didn't notice. Yeah. I think they also added a little more beat to it. I think they also added like a little more like beat to it. I think they sort of made it more modern. Well, I love that you can make change through a podcast, Ben.
Starting point is 01:22:12 All right there, everybody, you know, it was a change in your heart that you need to make. Get a podcast, everybody. Thank you. Thank you,
Starting point is 01:22:20 Whitney, whatever your last name is again, for listening to our podcast and making that change. Thanks for taking our notes. Because I assume that's where you learned it from, is from us. This show is just a fucking classic. I mean, everything about it. I love that they made the little real world girl.
Starting point is 01:22:40 I mean, she was the narrator last year, too. But this show is just so slick this year. They know exactly what they're doing now. They fell right in their groove. Just really, really good. I think I said this last season. I love that they're all wealthy. I remember you said, well, I don't like that they're wealthy because I don't want to watch wealthy assholes.
Starting point is 01:23:02 But I'm like, I like their assholes. Yeah, I do, too. A different style of assholes then we're used to it's like a it's like a uh huge like white privilege um i i think i think it's great first of all i mean we could talk about a lot of things we have to talk about patricia patricia is the best part they could get rid of the entire cast as long as they keep patricia i don't know why the show's she was amazing i mean it opens her opening scene was in bed being served breakfast wearing like a gigantic feather bowed white silk bathrobe yeah i mean she is i mean she is just phenomenal i love the way she just
Starting point is 01:23:39 she just dismisses everything around her, you know? Oh, I'm trying to see. Yeah, hold on. I'm trying to see what she did here. What was she saying in that scene? God, so funny. I mean, it could be anything. She's talking about, like, a crossword puzzle. It's like, well, I don't really care for that crossword puzzle.
Starting point is 01:23:57 It's a little simple for me, if you ask me. It's a little gauche, darling. Gauche. Like, I just, you know, I prefer something a little more challenged. That's why I don't read you. When she went to that stupid christening, the second christening outside, she's like, well, I don't know who would have a christening outside in August. And this decole leaves something to be desired.
Starting point is 01:24:19 And then she's in the kitchen having her butler make her a martini with her own martini kit. She's like, one does not drink cheap wine in the kitchen having her butler make her a martini with her own martini kit. She's like, one does not drink cheap wine in the heat. She's like, always have my butler bring my own martini kit. And by the way, that looked like such a good martini. I wanted to have one right away. No, this woman is like fabulous. Truly fabulous. I mean, she's just what we all should be.
Starting point is 01:24:44 In my day, an unwed mother is a shameful thing in my day an unwed mother go to house and live together but it's never be heard from again i love her hair i just love everything about her she shows up late to the christening no one is no it's like no one even bats an eye no one showed up to that thing except the cast yeah no she is just she is just the best the best yeah we need to actually start writing down her quotes because when i was watching it i was laughing so hard and i was like oh i'll totally remember this yeah um which of course i don't i love her little gay that she has now that shit's hilarious it's like he lives down the street and he's you know he's good entertainment he comes by in his little pink suit and he's like hello darling it's like hey darling
Starting point is 01:25:31 oh i love it i love it she you know what it is aside for the she's like i love that she is a woman of taste a woman of principles. Whether they mean backwards or whatever. That she is totally dismissive. And snobby. And I like that she kind of stands for this. Old. Southern way of doing things. Even though.
Starting point is 01:25:57 It's totally wrong. It's wrong. If you really got her talking. You know she'd have the most backwards racist shit. Coming out of her mouth. She's like one of those old white ladies. That you know she'd have the most backwards, racist shit coming out of her mouth. She's like one of those old white ladies that you know is just wrong in every way. But that's what makes her wonderful. Because she doesn't give a shit.
Starting point is 01:26:13 Like, the old Southern way of doing things is, like, the worst. It's, like, off and racist and terrible to people. But, like, there is something, if you can look past that, if it's possible, there is something to be said about like old traditions you know i know that sounds so wrong to say that like say one thing and then say the other but you know it's sort of i don't know like there's there is something sort of like fun about someone maintaining old rules of decorum at least uh not old rules of race relations just the decorum in the world of reality TV. That is kind of refreshing. Yeah. Especially when she's like some white lady living with her son,
Starting point is 01:26:50 which is not really proper. And her son's out fucking half the town, which isn't really proper. And he's on some reality show that he's made, which is totally ghost. And I'm sure all of her friends think she's totally ghost for being on a reality show. So it's kind of funny that she's such a hypocrite while maintaining this excellent character. Yeah, love her i love all the characters on this i'm really loving that
Starting point is 01:27:12 catherine's an actual character this year because she's just so she always talks like this and really slowly and really softly like she doesn't really understand what's going on she's like we moved out here to the boondocks after we had a baby i used to be able to have parties with my friends now it's just me and the baby it's like she's like the you know what she is you know sometimes when you read things like maybe even comics, when someone doesn't know what to say and they write, it's written E-R-M, like erm. But no one ever says erm. But she says erm.
Starting point is 01:27:52 She's like, I have a baby now. And erm, wow. I can't wear a thong. It's just like, I'm all alone here. Erm, wow. I don't know. It's just Thomas. So the big plot here was that they had a christening for their baby,
Starting point is 01:28:12 but Catherine's like, well, we had that christening. And then at the after party, the baby's godmother was being really inappropriate with Thomas. So bye. That's the end of that one so now we're doing it again was that the was that the source of the controversy about like being thrown in the pool and all that stuff remember that no because i feel like that happened later i don't know i feel like that i feel like that happened later because that's fairly recent yeah it's by the way it
Starting point is 01:28:43 definitely sucks to be heard that she's stuck in some plantation an hour and a half away from civilization. That's what happens when you get knocked up, though, babe. Yep. She tried to trap a man, and he ended up trapping her an hour and a half away. She still doesn't have a wedding ring. He's just a loser.
Starting point is 01:28:58 Thank God he's got family money because he's not ever getting back into politics again. That's the saddest thing I've ever seen is him trying to get back into politics and campaigning around. He's like, I'm Thomas Ravenel, and I believe in freedom and rights. That lady's like, well, what do you think about guns? He's like, you can keep your guns. I'll vote for you.
Starting point is 01:29:18 I mean, come on, people. What are you doing with your fucking guns? What do you think is gonna happen you know well you're gonna need your guns so badly well the first place the terrorists are gonna hit is gonna be the rural midwest it's gonna be a walmart somewhere they're gonna be like thank god we got our guns like fucking hicks way to be a stereotype lady but meanwhile all the other people who like rejected thomas it's like the woman who wouldn't shake his hand and the other people's like well i just don't want to vote for someone who's been in jail before and he's like okay and he backs away he like literally backed away from her slowly but what
Starting point is 01:29:53 was he thinking also going up against lindsey graham lindsey graham's been there for like i feel like ever since i was born lindsey graham has been you know in office like especially as a third party come on now he's gonna take down lindsey graham he should move to like alaska or something where he can go up against someone like sarah palin if she were still in office you know well minnesota minnesota minnesota elected jesse ventura you know maybe he'll try minnesota or i'll say california why has he not moved to california that's where you have his best shot remember we had like angeline running for governor and she was a legitimate contender oh my god angeline my friend asked for her autograph one time and she's like if you buy
Starting point is 01:30:28 a t-shirt out of my trunk what's your size honey and she's like no i just want to take your picture she's like okay if you buy a t-shirt it's 30 i'm like who wants some plastic tranny bitch on a t-shirt for 30 do you want a picture or not okay this? It's going to be on Instagram. She's got thousands of followers, darling. We'll put a link to your website, idiot. Chef Penny just came up with a new roast called the Angeline. It's lamb with a pink glaze. Cherry pink. It's expired lamb
Starting point is 01:30:58 with an old sour grape glaze, darling. By the way, if you don't know who Angeline is because you don't live in Los Angeles, just do a Google search. A-N-G-E-L-Y-N-E. And you'll learn all about her. And it'll all make sense. Oh, yeah. Angeline. She's a local celebrity.
Starting point is 01:31:17 And she drives around in this pink. What is it? Corvette. It's a Corvette, right? Yeah. And she just drives around all day waving at people. She wears this giant wig. And then you'll see her pulled over in like a bank parking lot, parking lots all over West Hollywood, digging through her trunk, selling people T-shirts.
Starting point is 01:31:35 You know, I once found her. She actually has a little office. And I found it once because I was going to get a smog check. And it turns out her little office was like behind the smog check place her pink her her corvette was parked and she like came down the staircase yeah i saw her the other day in the bank of america parking lot digging through that trunk and i was like girl girl please i'm surprised she's not a housewife oh my god. Would you imagine how the other housewives would react to her? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:32:07 Kim Richards would be like, ah, Jessica Rabbit came and joined the cast. Awesome. She'd be like, hey, you got any coke? I know you do. She'd be snorting Angeline's purse. She'd be like, you stole my house in Toontown.
Starting point is 01:32:26 She's like, where's the dip? Stay away from the dip. What else happened on this Southern Charms? So we have a new girl, Landon. Landon, who's just like nervously giggling with her little squinty eyes. Not sure about her yet. She looks like a young Martha Stewart. Like a young Southern Martha Stewart.
Starting point is 01:32:43 Yeah, okay, I can see that. Brunette. Yeah, I like her so far I like everyone I mean who yeah she hasn't really done anything so far but flirt with Shep she's like that's all she's done I don't know what she's I love by the way I love that Shep started his own restaurant like because whitney was being so emo and cool and like didn't want to invest with shep so shep went and made his own restaurant and then patricia is like to whitney like so what's going on with your restaurant i mean shep got one he's like well shep you know he's got his own restaurant up and running you gotta hand it to him for that and what about your restaurant poor whitney do you know that that Charleston's supposed to have, like,
Starting point is 01:33:26 one of the most exciting culinary scenes in the country? Really? Apparently has, like, some of the best restaurants in the country right now. It's, like, top. It's probably, like, top five, I think. Well, maybe he's just nerve. He's just got the nervesies. Maybe Whitney is nervous to launch his fast casual hip upscale easy Mexican restaurant
Starting point is 01:33:47 he had to wait for his face to heal before he could get back to work girl he was too busy strumming that guitar he doesn't know how to play hey I would love to make fun of that but I've got two hanging on my wall I know that's right you have your guitar I have two guitars that I don't know how to play I'm really proud of it it's weird i
Starting point is 01:34:05 mean well here's the thing we laugh about whitney being just like in his mom's house and like has a restaurant didn't launch tries you know learn guitar but he's like the producer of this show meanwhile like he's obviously you know yeah he does he's probably like this probably the smartest person on the cast and uh he's like playing whole slacker, indie, emo, Charleston guy when he's actually a bunned-up, conservative, very sharp, who's packaged an entire show together. Yeah. Yeah, he's done a good job of it, too.
Starting point is 01:34:37 We gotta thank Whitney for that. You can never hate on Whitney now, guys. Thanks, Whitney. This was a beautiful show. Thanks, Whitney. Love your new face. Love your new wig keep it up eyebrow pencils a little bit much but otherwise you're doing great cameron uh by the
Starting point is 01:34:51 way uh got married which is fun and i love that she got married to another man with enough self respect to not ever appear on this show even in a picture even in the wedding pictures he wouldn't be in the show can i go out on a limb limb and say that Cameron is one of the best reality stars in the history of the genre? No, for real. She was great on real. She's great in all her challenges. She's always just, like, funny. And I, like, support everything she does.
Starting point is 01:35:16 And she's not, like, a cheesy idiot, like, fame whore idiot. She's just honest, which I like. I also like that guy who's, like, the serious lawyer, the other poor person on the show, who's like an actual working lawyer now, is just going to become a total alcoholic loser this year. He's actually the one I don't like. I thought last season, he seemed like an asshole to me last season, and I think he just continues to be an asshole. Like, I just know his type.
Starting point is 01:35:39 Like, I feel like his type, like, I went to college with his type. Like, I've seen his type in action, just an asshole. Not that everyone in my college is an asshole, but there were, there were his types that Southern smarmy, whatever. They would definitely went to my school as they went to probably many people's
Starting point is 01:35:56 schools. And, uh, Ooh, he rubs me the wrong way. He's like, I don't know why I have to come in at 9am. It's because you just started your job.
Starting point is 01:36:03 Cause you're working at a fucking law firm. He's like, but I do my best come in at 9 a.m. It's because you just started your job. Because you work at a fucking law firm. But I do my best work in the middle of the night. And then they show him at a bar hitting on girls in the middle of the night not doing his work. Yeah. How about maybe when you're a partner you can choose your hours like that. But right now you should be so lucky you still have a job after season one of this show. You're at a podunk law firm. Get over it and show up at 9 a.m.
Starting point is 01:36:24 When even the secretary is giving you attitude. She's like, hi there. Good morning. Good to see you. Haven't seen you in a long time. Let's go. Let's hear what Patricia has to say about that. And his boss is like, nah, you know, you got to come to work because other people coming at 9.
Starting point is 01:36:39 What am I supposed to tell them when I'm yelling at them for coming in 10 minutes late? And you show up at 3.30 in the afternoon. I'm like, just, hey. And he's like, but I just, that's when I do my best work. Oh, shut up. He's just arrogant. It's like one of those hot, arrogant guys who works out so they think that they're entitled to stuff. And look, it does entitle you to a lot more than ugly people. Let's just face it.
Starting point is 01:37:01 We all live in the same world. And hot people generally are entitled to more. We've all seen it. But not that much. You still have to go to work. He's like, the gel in my hair doesn't set until 3 p.m., so I can't come into work before then. What else? We've talked about Thomas, Catherine,
Starting point is 01:37:20 that douche, Cameron, Whitney, Patricia. Who else is there? Well, we didn't really talk about – there's still more to talk about. I mean, because Thomas is still working up to a marriage with Catherine. He's not going to marry her. Not quite married. Well, I think they already broke up, didn't they?
Starting point is 01:37:37 Well, they've broken up like 20 times. Yeah. And then they show him leaving her in the coming this season episode. He's walking off and she's going, Thomas, don't leave me. Thomas, I'm not going to let you leave me. Thomas! Thomas! Like the saddest, slowest.
Starting point is 01:38:00 She's such a slow. When they're like, she's like like do you want to have another one or something like that she's like well he's gonna have to put a ring on first just bye bye i know i'm like way to stand up for yourself she's like i'm not having a second baby until he puts a ring on it okay like yeah nice self-respect there hon the way, you know that it probably kills all the other people in the cast to have to talk to her. They hate her guts. Because, you know, not only does she talk slowly, she's not cool. She's not cool in terms of somebody you can just gab with or whatever,
Starting point is 01:38:36 or make the snorting comments that they all make to each other. She's just like, I don't know, I just want to get married. It's like, wah, wah, wah. You know? MJ's delivery of frozen pizzas is arriving. It's not delivery. It's DiGiorno. It's DiGiorno sliders with raisins and pomegranates.
Starting point is 01:39:08 I think that covers it for this week y'all that was a lot of damn shows Jesus so many shows that was a lot of podcasting today we need to do better if we're going to cover this many shows we need to do better at like taking notes for shit I know I thought I took more notes to be honest
Starting point is 01:39:23 I thought I did too but you know what i was laughing so hard this entire week watching these shows i didn't take that that many notes i just thought they were so fucking every single one of them was so funny this week i get absorbed that's what happens i actually get absorbed and then i don't take notes i'm so sorry sorry well we still managed to get two two hours out of it or some crap I mean good lord a lot of shows there's a lot of shows and there's like more coming yep there's more Blood Sweat and Heals
Starting point is 01:39:51 is coming back I think Blood Sweat and Heals will be a little crazier this season Real Housewives of New York is coming back oh my god I can't wait for that well Beverly Hills is wrapping up it's overload so if you have not gone to the patreon page once we get up to a thousand dollars we will be doing two episodes a week and we're about to need them
Starting point is 01:40:10 so get over there and sign up y'all think of it as like a tip jar yes although it's improper to ask for tips as i'm sure patricia would say i just wouldn't do that oh i don't care if you want to tip me go to trash tv and trash talk tv and hit the tip jar. I have no shame. Tip me, y'all. No shame in the game. There ain't no shame in my game, y'alls. Well, anybody, I mean, anyway, everybody, thank you so much for being with us today, this lovely Wednesday, March 18th. It's been really fun.
Starting point is 01:40:38 We're going to do our Google subscriber hangout tomorrow night at 7 p.m. Pacific time. Just come to our Facebook page at patreon.com slash watchupcrappens to find out when or where, how to get in there. Basically, you just need to be a paid subscriber to get in there. Also, the ringtones will be posted later this week. And I think that's it for that. Please go to watchupcrappens.com to find out all of our social media links. Read my Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recaps at TrashTalkTV.com. Night of air.
Starting point is 01:41:08 And listen to Ben's other podcast, The Banter Blender with Ben Mandelker. Yay. You guys are wonderful. Thank you so much for listening. Thank you for all the support. And we will see you next week. Bye. Bye.
Starting point is 01:41:22 Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.
Starting point is 01:41:24 Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. you next week bye bye It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleichinger. Schleichinger, I've been friends with her for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there, and I still have a hard time with the last name, Liza.
Starting point is 01:41:52 Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com slash waitforitcomedy. There's no need to wait for it anymore. Because it's here. And it's funny. And I love you. On Monday,
Starting point is 01:42:16 Josh Leibarger made his status Case of the Mondays, followed by a frowny face. It got one like and five comments, including dislike. Well, Josh, Geico also wants to make a comment to turn that emoji's frowny face. It got one like and five comments, including dislike. Well, Josh, Geico also wants to make a comment to turn that emojis frown upside down. In just 15 minutes, you could save hundreds of dollars on your car insurance by switching to Geico. With all that extra dough, why not give Monday a makeover? We see an office party in your future hosted by you. Hashtag happy face. Hashtag
Starting point is 01:42:41 savings. Geico. 15 minutes could save you 15 or more on car insurance hey prime members you can listen to watch what happens ad free on amazon music download the amazon music app today or you can listen ad free with wondery plus in apple podcast before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com survey

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