Watch What Crappens - #174: Return of RHONY OKAAAY?
Episode Date: April 8, 2015Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. Ronnie Karam (TrashTalkTV) and Ben Mandelker (bsideblog) are here with ...our first episode of the week. We talk the return of Real Housewives of New York and then laugh our asses trying to imitate the Real Housewives of Melbourne before moving onto Real Housewives Atlanta getting Jesus to fix it and Blood Sweat and Heels? attempt to kill musical theater for good. Join us! d Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. Ronnie on the Web: http://www.trashtalktv.com Ronnie on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/trashtalkteevee Ronnie on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/trashtalktv Ronnie on Tumblr: http://trashtalktvrecaps.tumblr.com/ Ben on the Web: http://www.bsideblog.com Ben on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/bsideblog Ben on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/bsideblog Our Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/watch-what-crappens On iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/watch-what-crappens/id498130432?mt=2 Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hello and welcome to the Watch What Crappens podcast. The podcast about all that crap we love talking about on Bravo.
All that crap we love talking about on Bravo.
I'm Ronnie Karam from Trash Talk TV.
And joining me as usual is the thin, gorgeous, talented, and very well-groomed Ben Mandelker.
Hello, Ben. He's from the Banter Blender podcast. Hi, Ben.
Oh, hi, Ronnie. How are you, hon?
Oh, you know, I'm making my way through the day like Vanessa Carlton.
Try a little positivity then.
Trying to make my way.
Although I think Vanessa Carlton is just making her way downtown.
But I like to think that I'm making my way downtown via the day.
Well, the other way rhymes better.
Yeah.
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Yeah.
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So we have a big episode
today. Lots of stuff
has happened this week on Bravo.
But the biggest thing that happened, Real Housewives of New York returned.
Ben, what do you think?
It's back.
I'm so happy.
You know, this is my favorite of all the Real Housewives, regardless of who's in the cast.
I love it, but I'm loving it even more right now.
The cast is bigger than it's ever been before.
There are eight women on this show.
I don't think all of them are going to survive until next season, but I am on board and I am ready for this rollercoaster of a season to begin.
It's going to be so good.
Well, New York usually makes me crazy because they're so like yelly and screamy and kind of toxic.
New York and Jersey, the East Coasters are a little too much for me but um i really
love the past ever since they got rid of stupid fucking jill zarin okay shut up jill zarin if
you're listening to this you're probably talking at the same time shut up well no to be fair jill
zarin her first two seasons was great. Everyone loved Jill Zarin.
But then when she got into her fight with Bethany, it was like she became a fame monster.
She just wanted to be famous.
And she's, you know, she became the worst.
She still is.
She's on.
She's starting Twitter war.
She's trying to start Twitter war. She was on Twitter yesterday saying, oh, I sure did see Ramona, Ramona's husband cheating at a party in the Hamptons.
I saw it with my own eyes.
Don't call me a liar.
True dat.
She like hashtagged true dat.
And I was like, oh, Jill.
You're hashtagging things true dat, Jill.
It's awkward.
And this was posted by Cindy C.
So thank you.
It's like one of the best posters on our site.
But let me bring it up because this is hilarious.
Jill Zarin, you're not on the show, okay?
It's like she's watching it live and livearin you're not on the show okay it's like she's watching it
live and live tweeting like she's on the show you know that bitch still submits bravo blogs every day
just in case you like forget posting yeah
oh yeah excuse me wow took a lot of that but a lot out of of me. So should we just go through the epi?
Well, first, the biggest thing is...
Bethany's back, right? Isn't that the biggest thing?
I mean, there are a lot of big things, to be honest.
There's so many big things.
Okay, well, Bethany's back. Ugh, the mouth.
The mouth. And yet I still stand by what I've always said before.
I'm so busy. Oh, God, I. So busy. I have so much to do.
I mean, look at what I'm doing.
I'm in the presidential suite.
Here I am at the president.
I mean, I'm homeless.
This is crazy.
Can you believe it?
I'm homeless.
I mean, look, I have all this money, but I'm homeless.
I don't know what to do.
My husband stole the house that I worked for.
Here's what I have to say about Bethany.
I've always said that she's better in the context of the Real Housewives because she's a little bit more diluted.
And I still agree with that.
She did make me laugh this episode for sure.
But, you know, where I sort of lost her was a little bit of the victimhood.
Like on the one hand, when she was crying at the end of the episode and she's like, I worked so hard.
And they show footage of her trying to sell cookies from like season one.
And then it's true.
She has worked hard.
And it does suck that she doesn't get that apartment.
So I'm like totally on her side for that.
But where she loses me where she's like, I mean, I'm homeless.
I'm homeless.
I mean, I don't know.
I need to have a home for my kids.
I don't know.
Like, I don't know.
I can't have another kid because I don't have a home.
I'm like, you just said that you bought a place in the hamptons
you bought a place in soho now you're looking for another place you know you can spare me the
homeless act just a little bit yeah and also she forgets that she had a spin-off show that we
watched where we got to see her husband driving around door to door helping her become successful
um you know helping her with her branding helping. You know, helping her with her branding,
helping her with her ideas,
helping her with her business
that made her a humongous success.
So sorry, but cameras were there and we saw that.
So you need to stop your bitching.
Okay, hon?
Because we saw him earn that money.
I mean, he literally drove around
from store to store with her selling that shit
and getting that in stores and blah, blah, blah.
He earned it.
We also saw her treat him like total shit the whole time they were on that show and have a fit when he threw her a surprise party and just treat him like total trash.
Bitch, I'm sorry.
I don't feel bad for you at all.
I hope he gets your money and good for him for staying in that house and refusing to be poor because you decided to discard his ass.
Right.
in that house and refusing to be poor because you decided to discard his ass right what what you know i don't actually know the details of their divorce because i just sort of like put on my
blinders all like the bethany frankel gossip uh what like what do we know like what precipitated
it was just that she was treating him like shit no we don't really know i mean i don't know because
i can't i didn't pay attention either i only watch the uh spinoffs because of this um right yeah when it comes to reading it people posted uh talk show
clips and stuff and i was like yikes but uh you know i don't hate her she just gets on my nerves
it's like that that yappy new york thing that yeah it made me crazy when i lived there and it makes
me crazy now and she's like very aggressive yeah and it's not a new york thing everybody in new york knows what i'm talking about it's the yappy new york thing
it's like the ramona and bethany yappy yap yeah exactly and it's weird because it used to be more
charming i think when she was poor but now that she's like successful it's somehow insufferable
yeah and she's got you know the first episode is she's staying in the presidential suite was that
at the plaza that couldn't have been the plaza no that was at the essex house oh i was gonna say now it's
jw marriott but like still that's the thing to me i'm like this just seems so excessive
it is but she's like going to the presidential suite but then she's like oh you know because
i'm working on my book the the kids book and then a book about drinking and then you know she's got
a table set up with all of her skinny girl products and it's like come on stops she's coming off as just too thirsty like she's always uh plugging
something like just be a fucking real person for two seconds she did make me laugh a lot through
the episode too she's just maybe a little bit uh too phony for me yeah i don't know i'm we'll have to see how how the season plays out you know is she going to
be the fun like um like voice of for the people as she was in the beginning what's that called
like the course you know the greek chorus or is she just going to be now like really arrogant
like this arrogant successful businesswoman who needs to be taken
down a peg i mean if you ask me if you ask me the entrepreneur to watch is luann because
she's the one who has that fabulous flatware and plates and bowls that she's trying to sell
i don't know maybe toasting will come back in in style again and sonia will make everybody
regret it yeah exactly
skinny girl toast but one of my favorite things skinny girl toast one of my favorite things is
when she says i've run an international business like oh shut up so do i because i'm on the internet
shut up you dumb hoe and later in the episode she's like does bill gates put up with this
does oprah put up with this i'm like uh
you're neither okay blue screen of death well i think that's what she was trying to say
is that like she's still like one of us oh i didn't get it that way as she talks to her
gay porn star turned reality star realtor frederick eklund frederick eklund he's like
what's your fetish oh there, there's some Russian people outside.
Bueller about to bark.
Ooh, about to...
Bueller, I believe in you.
I believe you can hold it, Bueller.
Good boy.
He just gave me the slowest look, like, are you fucking kidding me?
Do you hear sirens?
There are all sorts of sirens out here.
Oh, God.
MJ probably can't get her fridge open.
Her mom probably locked it on her.
What is all this?
What is this fridge I lock for you?
You find real man.
No, not Persian fridge.
Persian fridge shape of a pomegranate.
So the next scene was Kristen.
And she's still with that ugly fucking husband wearing his branded everything
i'm sure and then all i could hear was screaming babies and i had to fast forward i can't i'm done
with her there's really nothing that's going on in kristen's world except that her baby is now
walking which is good and i guess who cares yeah exactly that's like my sister called me one time
and told me her baby pooped in the toilet because she gave it an M&M and I was like I really don't give a shit, okay?
I pooped for free today.
Oh, let me tell you something. I've pooped
I've done more than my share of pooping
today.
For those of you who don't know, which would really be
all of you, I am in the midst
Oh no, why are you doing that? I was so proud
of you. I'm in the midst of a
thing that's going on
with my bowels. That's all i'll say um lisa
vanderpump does not have this problem yeah lisa and i are polar opposites right now
she's like the queen right she doesn't poop well i am like the court gesture court jester
and i am really having some issues um but uh but i was gonna say oh yeah so yeah nothing's really
going on with kristin except yeah you know the thing is with josh is that he's the sort of guy
who who who gets uh under armor like non-athletic under armor clothes you know like an under armor
polo shirt wait who does that does that? Her husband, Josh.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I was out of it.
And you said Under Armour, and I was like, hey, that ad's always on, like, Tinder or something or Grindr.
And I was like, what is this Under Armour?
It's underwear?
No, Under Armour.
Well, there's Under Gear and there's Under Armour.
What is Under Armour?
Under Armour is, like, athletic stuff.
Oh, well, that's why i don't
know it's like sports it's like it's clothing you wear when you work out or when you like do sports
but they have those and but they also have clothing that you just can wear normally but
like no one gets it for that it's like going to a victoria's secret catalog or the store
i'm buying a dress there and so the lingerie one of my friends just paid 175 for yoga pants
do you know how disgusted budo would be with
that fucking you know clothes getting your underwear and your bra like everybody else at
the y in el paso at the risk of being totally judgmental when i see when i see women wearing
yoga pants around just like casually like sweatpants whatever i pass massive amounts of
judgment you do oh i hate it just anybody in
yoga pants or like specifically like it's always because it's always like the it's like you know
what it really is like when i see when i see a whole bunch of women and this i know this i admit
it i know this sounds totally sexist i'm sorry but this is just how i feel um you know when you
see a bunch of women walking around the their yoga pants and their yoga mats everywhere.
It's like you go up to San Francisco.
You walk around the marina down there.
It's everywhere you go.
You go to Montana Avenue in Brentwood, a bunch of women in their yoga pants.
It's just – it's like the yoga pants really aren't the problem.
It's more like, oh, this is basically informing me of what sort of person you are.
Like you are just one of these like really insufferable Lululemon types.
Lululemon, yes.
Those are the expensive yoga pants.
Yeah.
Well, Ben, that was totally sexist, and I'm burning down your pizza shop.
I know.
It was totally sexist, but you know what, though?
There are a lot of guys who do equal.
Look, I just bashed the guys.
Guys who wear Under Armour polo shirts.
Well, that's true, yeah.
I'm going after
everyone there's a new yoga place down the street from us and everybody's carrying around their yoga
mats and then their their yoga pants too and i saw one of my neighbors the other day walking with
her yoga mat her yoga pants and i was like you're the biggest c-word i've ever met in my life
i cannot believe you're bragging about some spiritual exercise how about not being a c-word
how about that and then you can try and touch your toes later or maybe like jog bitch because yoga ain't working i mean i get it if you're
going to do yoga like you have to put you have to put on yoga pants i get that but there's sometimes
put on some shorts yoga pants what they're jogging yoga pants are thin jogging pants that's all they
are they're jogging pants that are easier for your ass to eat okay it's like thin bagel bite things like sandwich bagel thins yeah it's just easier to get down
yeah and i'm sure there'll be some things that crossfit guys do um that will drive me nuts in
a similar way so don't worry like run really fast and then pick up weights that they can't carry and
almost um throw out their back.
And then throw the weights really hard down on the ground.
It's like I'm so sick of watching guys flipping giant tires down the sidewalk.
Whatever happened to push-ups?
Whatever happened to a medicine ball?
How about you walk back from the store every once in a while?
Stop using the horse.
You know, there's some
tractor out there that needs that tire.
Speaking of exercise,
my favorite opening
line of all of them was Carol's.
I'm on a new diet.
I'm eating cucumbers, vodka,
and butter. Lots of butter.
She's so funny.
Cryptkeeper Carol. I know. I like that they keep on making heather go holla
every year heather had like a true dat in this episode or something i was like oh no heather
so you still think you're p dids nope reel it in um so the ladies meet for like lunch or breakfast or something and they all immediately start
talking about what a crazy asshole sonia has been lately and i died she went to a molly ringwald
cabaret performance which is hilarious in itself exactly what they were like did you see what did
you see that either than page six and they flash a headline from page six that was like
sonia morgan makes a boozy entrance at molly
ringwald cabaret show i was like what the hell i had to look it up immediately she shows up to
molly ringwald's cabaret show and starts talking to her on stage through the whole thing apparently
yeah and i'm just like drunk off her ass and wearing jeans and whatever um let's see what
else happened on so yes they were like so they were
like in shock about that and they were like because it could luanne has invited everyone
to her new house in the hamptons and she had to she invited ramona but so she invited sonia also
because she had to um so that is that so then so then ramona met up with sonia i think that's
what happened next more or less right they met yeah they met up ramona met up with sonia i think that's what happened next more or
less right they met yeah they met up with she met up with sonia because she's been ignoring sonia
so she was going to talk about her broken marriage to mario which is hilarious because ramona's take
on her broken marriage is just total horseshit and anybody who has a news a newspaper on their
internet knows what horseshit she's spewing.
She's like, well, you know, he begged me back.
And so I went back to him.
And so, you know, he just wanted me back so bad.
But I just couldn't forgive him.
And I'm like, bitch, please.
He was like with some 15-year-old blonde girl all over town.
He was not begging you to come back.
Yeah.
Crazy.
But anyway, they got into this, like, my divorce was worse.
Well, I mean, basically, Sonia's like, she's like, okay, I want to hear what's going on with you.
I want to find out what's going on with you, singer.
And so then Ramona's like, well, you know, I feel like my world is falling apart inside.
And then Sonia's like, well, that's exactly how I felt in 2005.
You know, it's just that's how I feel.
And you know what?
But then now I'm doing great.
I'm doing this.
I'm doing that.
Ramona's like, okay. Ramona's like, well, you know, I just that's how i feel and you know but then now i'm doing great i'm doing this i'm doing that ramona's like uh okay ramona's like well you know i had 25 years sonia's like yeah
but i had nine years plus seven that we dated so you know i mean that's that's a lot of years that
i'm not going to count right now ramona's like yeah but you know i had more and you know i mean
my marriage is longer and sonia's like yeah but i mean my house is falling apart i mean my husband
was arrested now i have nothing i mean i have interns that I get off Craigslist.
Pickles is gone.
Pickles is gone.
Pickles broke computer number three.
I love that Sonia has, like, labeled the computers in her home as computer one, two, and three, which is, like, so, like, middle school.
She's like, well, of course you can't use computer number 2
because you keep messing up the mouse because you're so rough
with the mouse.
You know that that's some mouse that she got
in a box on the street
that someone was leaving their shit out.
She's like, oh wow, a mouse.
It's an actual mouse.
She's like,
well, you know, I found this mouse in Saint- san trope and i put it down every time i try
and right click it it bites me so i think i must be doing something right
stop being so hard on the mouse you're never going to move the cursor
because you know what when i when i click on the mouse it bites me and i curse
so uh because you know what when i when i click on the mouse it bites me and i curse so on the cursor
i've become the cursor the mouse has turned me into the cursor
uh then she's like she's like listen you know no one you know no one no one takes me seriously but
i have an international empire i've got like you know a fashion line happening i've got this i've
got that you just wait as she's like lying getting her like getting gold leaf
put on her face
and she's like, oh, well, I got to go. It's time
for the dog's trainer. Yeah.
Sounds like those international
brands are really coming to life.
I like when she was telling Ramona, listen,
when we go to the Hamptons, you cannot
let these girls just talk to me like that. You
have to stick up for me. Okay, Ramona? Ramona's
like, no, I got my own problems. I don't like to stick up for you.
I don't feel comfortable with that, okay?
Because, you know, my mother used to like me to stick up
for her, and then I would get zucchini thrown in my
face. I do not want noodles in my face
tonight, alright? Okay?
I'm sorry. You know what?
So when I was a child,
Geraldine Parsons-Smith would come over,
and she would say things about me, and I
had to stand up to myself
for myself and I don't want to do it anymore
for you or for anyone else
because I'm sick of it because Geraldine Parsons-Smith
really bothered me. So when I see people
throw spaghettis or zoodles, I'm sorry
you just have to deal with it yourself.
I'm going to tell you what I told my mother, okay?
Sometimes it's up to a woman to stick up for herself
okay? And then I would
run into the woods and I would cry all alone but did my mother come stick up for me when the trees were being mean to
me and dropping leaves on my head no and that's where i learned it's time to stick up for yourself
okay so this is funny i'm really remembering this right now this is like my childhood right here i
would go into the woods okay and i would see a squirrel okay this is really funny now i would
see a squirrel and say hey squirrel come down and play with me.
And the squirrel would just run away.
And I would cry and cry and cry.
And everyone would be like, why are you crying?
I'm like, well, because the squirrel didn't want to play with me.
And they would say, well, that's because you're an awful person.
And I hated that.
But I have to stand up for myself
because I know the reason why the squirrel didn't want to play with me
is not because I'm a bad person.
It's because the squirrel was mentally deranged.
That's all.
Okay.
Okay. I love that Sonya's like, well, mentally deranged. That's all. Okay. Okay.
I love that Sonya's like, well, you have to stick up for them.
You know, you have to stick up for me. If they make fun of me,
you've got to tell them, no, Sonya's doing,
she's not just a toaster. She's not just a person
with a toaster, okay? She's got an international
business. She knows George Clooney.
I mean, she's being sued for being a film producer
because she's got so much money. I mean,
look at all the products she has. I think, Sonya,
please stop trying.
You have nothing going on.
You still have nothing going on.
You don't even have a toaster.
Where's your toaster?
Yeah.
Missing.
Toaster.
All right.
I want to see that fucking toaster.
Bring out the toaster.
Speaking of not working, Carol.
She's like, what?
What's a deadline?
What do you mean? I signed a contract?
But I found Tinder.
I'm on Tinder.
I'm going to write about Tinder.
My book's going to be as long as a Tinder profile.
Every chapter's going to be a profile.
It's too hard to even respond to Tinders with emojis.
The widow's guide to swiping left and right.
So let's see.
Dorinda.
Okay, the new one.
She's like a real life soprano.
She's like a real life Mrs. Soprano.
She looks just like her.
Her furniture looks like Mrs. Soprano moving out on her own.
What was her name?
Tony and what's her name?
What's the wife's name?
Carmella. Carmella. Carmella.
That's right. She is very
Carmella-ish. She's like a present-day Carmella.
Tony's dead. Carmella's living
alone in the city in a tiny L apartment.
Yeah. It was
a small apartment.
And she talks like the maid from the Jetsons.
It was a big
apartment for New York standards, but small
for real housewife standards because when they were sitting at their dining room, you could see into the bedroom.
And the living room.
Yeah.
But I like her.
So far, I like her.
Mr. Jetson!
She's like, Ramona, I understand what you're talking about because my first husband left me and my second husband got blood test heart attack.
Sounds like Linda Richmond now.
Oh, we'll talk.
Ramona.
She actually had a very gravelly voice. It was actually in the
Adrian Maloof
realm.
I can hear Rosie.
Rosie.
Rosie the Bade.
Rosie Judson.
What was funny was that Ramona came over to talk and ramona's even competitive with her she's like oh yellow plates i have yellow plates
they remind me of sunshine
she's like i like yellow it's like well i'm gonna make some eggs oh i can eat eggs i like eggs
mario liked eggs mario would never
eat my eggs but avery would because she's a good girl mario spread his eggs all over the place i'm
lucky that i don't have little mario's running around oh i miss those those man boobs i miss
those hard man boobs if only i massaged him more you know it's my you know it's my favorite way
to eat eggs sunny side up because it reminds me of sunshine.
Just like the plates.
I want to have a sunny side up egg on a yellow plate so that way it's like sun on sun.
It's like a lot of sun.
The brightest eggs you ever saw.
Okay?
Okay.
So what were you going to say before I rudely interrupted you to talk about plates?
No, I'm glad you mentioned that because that made me laugh about the plates and I forgot.
I didn't take any notes.
I find my notes are funnier when I handwrite them because I can't just write anything down.
Because usually I'm like, and then Ramona goes to this lady's house and then their maid is fat.
And then they blah, blah, blah.
I can only write like one thing because I write like a five-year-old.
So I just have Dorinda, soprano.
Ramona has yellow plates. Yeah.
No.
So what's funny is that Ramona sits down and she starts talking about Mario and she starts to cry.
And she's like crying and crying.
And then she's like – and, you know, I just had lunch with – I just had lunch with Sonia.
You know, we went to Nello's, okay?
And, you know, she just faked everything about her.
And, you know, I just – I didn't want to cry. I'm on Madison Avenue, so I don't want to cry, okay?
But, you know, it's like – but it's like like with you i can just be me i can you know because
you give me all this you you you you give me all of this i'm like she's not giving you anything you
haven't let her talk that's what she means yeah she's like you're just sitting there and staring
at me like an audience member at a really bad dinner theater so that's what i want yeah and
dorinda was like applying some strange corporate talk talk which is like that's not the way you execute that that's not how you execute through this
she was like she's like hold on let me get my powerpoint presenter out
as long as if he wasn't happy with the marriage that's not how you execute through it that's not
what you do that is not good team building skills mr judson well i like also ramona's like bawling and the the housekeeper or whoever it was
she just kept coming through like i didn't know that i didn't know that eggs eggs required so
many plates she just kept on showing up i was like this woman must think that she must be like oh i
can't wait to tell my family about this today she's vying for the next housewife spot but i also wrote narcissistic because yeah narcissistic yeah no she didn't say
that she said i mean sonia she can't stop and stop talking about herself she's so narcissistic
like oh no ramona and while ramona's talking about herself the whole time well it's better
but well it's funny that i mean it's better than on Blood, Sweat, and Heals, which we'll get to later, when Geneva said, hey, why don't you just kick back and decompose?
English by Bravo.
So anyway.
What else did I write?
Like made from Jetson's Fendi tongue.
Oh, yeah. Then later she's hanging out with her daughter.
Yeah, I really like her, too, this chick.
This Dorita chick.
She's really fun.
She's, like, yeah, fun and down-to-earth.
And she also seems like the type that, like, you can't fuck with her, you know?
Yeah.
Maybe it's because she has that, like, raspy smoker's voice.
Yeah, she's like, listen, my third husband's going to be a fat gay person who can get me a discount on clothes, Mr. Jetson.
She's like,
not gonna feel any shame. She ain't gonna explain
to us that he's gay. She's just
like, he's gay.
He likes clothes. He's gonna get me this purse.
Then her daughter
spends her money on some purse. I don't know. I just think
she's super adorable. And I'm all for people.
You know, I'm all for gay marriage.
So I hope that works out.
Well, did you notice that her new boyfriend
has the voice of Jax
like if you listen to it he sounds
exactly like Jax
yeah go back and listen you'll hear
it's like Jax talking
makes me nervous
I know
so is that all that happened it was kind of
I mean it was just sort of like
to be busy
her gay husband
oprah and gates and that's all i wrote that's all she wrote for this one y'all anything else
happened on this i do wonder this i remember um a few years ago a few seasons ago uh ramona and
jill zarin wound up at like a funeral i think there's there were at some funeral where like one of their friends had died.
I wonder if it was Dorinda's husband because
her second husband had died
and Ramona had said that she was close to them. I just can't
remember and I was too lazy to look it up.
So that's something for the people of the
podosphere to
think about and maybe research for us.
Well, I will say this to end
on this beautiful show.
When it ended, I was like, oh, it's over?
And that hasn't happened with a Housewives show in years.
Yeah.
I was like, oh, it's already over?
That sucks.
Yeah.
No, it was, of course, 30 hours from now, you know, like in Housewives time.
I don't know that I'll be thinking that.
I'll probably be like, oh, Jesus.
Yeah. thinking that, I'll probably be like, oh, Jesus. Yeah, and by the way, just so you know, everyone knows,
generally, the Real Housewives of New York
will be on our second episode of the week,
but since our schedule is
messed up this week because I was flying yesterday,
we just figured
we'd throw in Real Housewives of New York City
right now.
Yeah, get it moving along, guys.
Get us back on track over here.
So why don't we move on to you want to move on to melbourne
let's move on to melbourne uh that show every time i watch it i laugh and laugh ben yeah uh even my
even so i was in new york over the weekend and uh my mom my mom doesn't like any of these shows but
even my mom was like you know you know these women, the Melbourne ones, are just slightly classier than the other women that I've had to watch.
I think they just have an accent.
Yeah, I was like, I hate to break it to you, Mom, but they're just as bad as us.
They're just as awful.
They just have a bad accent, so it makes them sound classier.
Yeah.
They're not Americans, so we automatically give them more respect.
And everything in Australia costs more money,
so we're like, they must be better than us.
Yeah.
So I wrote down a whole bunch of notes,
but I honestly can't remember anything that happened.
Oh, I wrote down lots of them.
Good, you're going to be at the mercy of my notes.
Well, I have lots of notes, too.
I just have to, like, get the old brain kick-started
so I can remember what everything is.
My first note
is Petty Fleur wants to jump her son.
Oh my god. That
was the most awkward. Well, she
wants to sell him to the fucking clerk
in the store too. She's like, look at my
son. Isn't he handsome?
Don't you want to stick your finger in his bum? Look at his
bum. Look at his bum.
Look at it. He's got a gorgeous bum.
Awkward. He has a gorgeous bum. know it's funny i was at an indian restaurant on monday and the waitress i was like gosh her accent
like something sounds so familiar about it and i discovered she was indian by way of australia so
i was like oh that's where that accent is that's, that's her. I can't do her accent yet. And I would try and learn it, but she's so insufferable to me that it's hard for me to not fast forward.
She's the Candy Burris of Australia.
An accent, a voice that just cannot be mimicked.
Yeah.
Her accent is so weird.
I can't.
Yeah, see, it's like Yolanda.
She's like, si, no, koala bears.
Si, no koala bears. See, now didgeridoos.
See, now airs rock.
Well, she's trying to make her son successful by buying him a $10,000 suit.
I'm not sure how that's going to work out.
Especially if he just got a new job and he's only got one suit he's gonna be a ten thousand dollar suit gonna smell like bo just
as much as a ten dollar suit okay bitch that's right yeah that was eight thousand dollars that's
that's a lot yeah that's nuts don't give an eight thousand dollar suit to a 22 year old
jesus uh then petty floor talks about how difficult her life was growing up poor and
how she blah blah blah her son is so lucky to have her as a mother and i'm like man if you are this
unbearable on tv when you're watching yourself imagine what she's like at home that cannot be
good oh yeah no i can't i can't with pettyur. And her son has that kind of handsomeness that only rich people have.
Because if he was poor, he wouldn't be handsome.
But there's something about the fact that he's so confident because he's rich that he has that sparkle in his eye that makes him hot.
Yeah, even despite his emo hairstyle.
Yeah, you know, he's young.
But you look at him and he's got the glimmer of a rich person.
Suddenly that makes him, he's got like healthy sheen or something.
Like rich sheen.
It makes him more attractive.
But he also has the butt that only a mother could love and does love.
Ugh, creepy.
Touch it.
Do you want to touch it?
Yeah, touch his butt.
Yeah, touch it.
Put your finger in there.
Oh, yes.
Switch the bitch.
And by switch the bitch, I mean touch my son's butt.
I mean switch my son on his bitch butt.
Yeah, let's make my son a bitch.
Let's do it.
Earn that suit, son.
Earn that suit.
That wasn't bad, right?
Earn this.
Actually, it's coming to me.
Earn this.
It's basically like you sort of have to do like an Indian accent and then like tweak it a little bit.
Yeah, I'm going to put my penis in you, son.
Do you like that?
You are lucky because in my neighborhood, nobody was allowed to put their finger in their son like I do for you, son. I taste you like that you are lucky because in my in my neighborhood nobody was allowed to put their
finger in their son like i do for you son i taste you like a cupcake batter i came from a very
difficult beginnings i had a very difficult childhood where i had no son whose butt i could
touch but now i have a son whose butt i can touch but let's touch son. Not everyone
can have a son whose butt they can
touch. And I did not
have that son
until, you know,
recently in the past 22 years.
Okay, so let's move on. Gina and Gamble
who are
both becoming my favorite people really
fast because Gamble's crazy and Gina is still taking no fucking prisoners, which I love.
She's a bit of a fan.
They go to some fashion show, but it's not a fashion show.
They're donating clothes to be auctioned off, and Gina has this weird miniskirt dress thing, but not.
It's a miniskirt in the front, but a dress in the back. It's like a's a mini skirt in the front but a dress in the back
it's like a housewives jewels all over the front type of dress and some gay couple some gay couple
buys it for like six thousand dollars or something and she's like well you know i don't know what
they're gonna do with it but i guess we can imagine no her technically what she said was
i don't know what they're gonna do with the dress but i could perish a few thoughts i love that i could perish a few thoughts oh and gamble yeah gamble
is basically following her around like a little puppy dog but i love that gina just says that
she's like well you know i like gamble but she's a bit of a fan yeah yeah i was like i really
appreciate your help with Janet.
And she did say that.
She did say appreciate again.
I was like,
hee hee.
Oh, Gina!
Yeah, you're selling
your dress!
Gina!
I'm so proud of her!
I'm going to bid
on your dress
and then I'm going to,
I really appreciate
your dress
and I'm going to wear it
when I get to walk my dog,
and I'll go, walkies, walkies!
Gina!
Gina, I'm so proud
of you for having a dress.
It's so amazing.
Look how you have a dress, Gina.
Gina's dress went up
there, I bid on it, and then all these people started bitting.
I didn't lie to anybody around Melbourne.
Bitting on the dress.
My camel voice is just going to get weirder every week.
My camel voice is just going to get weirder every week.
Every time this show is on, I try and do it with her to learn it.
And I just start laughing harder every time.
Because it gets harder.
It's like her upper face does not move.
The writer did this.
It does not move.
Your upper face ain't moving.
For some reason, I just feel like she reminds me of a rubber band being strummed or something like that.
It's more candy now.
Candy bears. It's like someone's vacuuming and it goes...
Sounds like a race...
Sounds like a very small race car, like someone's racing a scooter.
Sounds like a very small race car, like someone's racing a scooter.
I also love this scene when Gina's like, listen, I've always got time for Chica.
But, you know, Chica sits on the fence and it takes a lot of bravery to get involved in some business that's not yours.
What are you talking about?
Like a soldier because you're getting involved in everybody else's business.
She's a bit of a fence sitter.
Well, let me tell you something about that fence.
That fence is made out of cards.
And your whole deck of cards is going to come down, Chica.
Chica's going to be sitting on a pile of cards all over the ground ground cards
you know what they're going to look like they're going to look like tiles
they look like tiles that don't go together and then shaker's just going to be on a pile
of cards that don't go together right and misplaced tiles no one wants a game of memory
that's not finished are they a lot of overlapped tiles not set out neatly like a kitchen.
Angie is texting us.
What shows should she watch for tomorrow?
Because tomorrow's special guest is Miss Angie Thomas from the Rough Biscuits podcast.
Is it Rough Biscuits?
Small Potatoes.
Small Potatoes.
Oh, Rough Biscuits.
That's funny.
Small potatoes Rough biscuits, that's funny
Well tomorrow
Tomorrow's show we'll be discussing
Beverly Hills and Southern Charm
And Shaz the Sunset
Let her know that
And that's a little advertisement for tomorrow's show
Okay so next thing on this real half swipes
Of Melbourne
Next on the real half swipes of Melbourne
Hair's and tiles Speed dating with Janet On this Real Housewives of Melbourne. Next on the Real Housewives of Melbourne.
House of Tiles.
Speed dating with Janet.
Oh, Lord, girls.
Every date with Janet is like a speed date.
She's like a milk with an expiration date on it.
You better drink that shit fast because it's about to turn to cheese.
So I believe one of her questions that she asked was,
if aliens came and invited you to their planet, would you go?
Janet, that's just not the best way to... 80s speed dating.
If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
If you were a Sharpie marker, would you be easy to wash out of a shirt or difficult?
If you were a blazer, would you be three buttons or two?
If you were a mailman, would you drive to every mailbox or would you park on the corner and walk to each?
If you were a box of Special K, would you be original flavor or that new one that has the chocolate in it?
If you were a mosquito net in Africa, would you keep out all the mosquitoes or would you let one in just to be naughty?
If you were a plant, would you rather be a potted plant that just sits on a table, or would you like to be a hanging plant in a plastic thing?
She's so ridiculous.
And I love that the men coming on to her, there's like the obvious gay guy who's like, I teach women to cum for 15 minutes.
And she's like, really? How do you do that, darling?
She's like the Australian cocoon.
She's like the Australian cocoon where all the old ladies get youthful again and start boning everything.
I like the Indian guy who, he's like a dog lover.
He was sexy, I thought.
She should have gone out with him.
She probably will.
I mean, God bless her.
She's like, why would I go out with somebody my own age age i don't want to be pushing people around in a wheelchair i'm like uh janet
you're 50 remember aren't you like 53 yeah you're showing your lies janet if you had to be a
wheelchair would you be a wheelchair that had an engine on it or one they had to push with your own hands. If you were a walker,
would you be a walker with wheels on the front
or with tennis balls?
Or would you just be a plain walker
so everybody could hear you scraping down the hallway
like a naughty boy?
If you had to drink a beverage,
would it be prune juice or cranberry juice?
Explain.
If your pee could smell like anything, would it be Starbucks or roses or just regular pee like a naughty boy?
Like, stop trying to pretend to be horny over every little thing that's happening.
She's like, what makes you cry?
And he's like, animal abuse.
She's like, oh, yes, it's all about the animals.
Oh, I feel like we're kindred spirits now.
We're kindred spirits because we care about the animals.
Oh, look at the dog.
You love dogs, too. I love dogs, i love dogs too i think i'm gonna marry
him and i'm like jackie's with her and she's like shine shine shine you know you're gonna get with
guy and then the guy's gonna be you know i'm gonna tell you who's good and who's not that
one's full of crap that one's gay that one's sad she's like the angels are telling me that one's
gay like no it's probably the lipstick that he's wearing. She's like, actually, you've given my angel a boner.
And so it's really difficult for my angel to concentrate because he's got a boner for you, Janet.
Janet, why don't you hook up with my boner, my angel boner?
Shine, shine, Janet.
From Wondery, this is Black History For Real.
I'm Francesca Ramsey.
And I'm Conscious Lee.
What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History?
Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month.
Exactly, exactly.
There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February.
And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear
a little less, and a little bit more. She is a heroine to some, as a fighter for Black rights,
she is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.
Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th.
Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
Black is beautiful.
Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries' Myhala Harold,
a brilliant
scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's
ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship
student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top 10, curated by the
headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at the list on her own,
she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society
that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success.
If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of.
But at what cost?
Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school
where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death
follow academy on the wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts you can binge all episodes
of academy early and ad free right now by joining wondery plus angels are telling me that that man
is indian does she have a um she has bigger boobs this year right i mean i'm sorry that's so shallow to talk
about but jackie's got some big old boobs right probably yeah i didn't look at those i just keep
they keep like coming into my uh my frame my frame of vision i'm like wait did she always have those
i mean i don't really look at boobs but i just keep looking at them so i'm just i don't know i'm just i'm being andy at a reunion my only hi chica hi janet hi jackie love the new boobs
my only issue with jackie is that she's like really overdoing this shine shine shine thing
like anytime she like walks into him she's like oh shine shine oh well i like this dress this makes me feel all shine shiny inside and i'm gonna shine on the
shoes yeah all right shine shine i'm gonna shine yeah yeah um yes it's her yes we can yeah um but
less important um let's see okay old lady questions pool boy, cruelty to animals, lunch with Petty Floor.
Oh, okay.
So then the ladies go to lunch.
Who was at lunch with Petty Floor where they're talking about Nouveau Riche?
And she's like, what is my name?
What is my Barbie name?
If her name is blah, blah, blah, then what is I?
And they said, oh, you're nouveau riche, Barbie.
She's like, what is this, nouveau riche?
You don't know what nouveau riche is.
You're talking about how you're one of the smartest people in the world, bitch.
New money, what do you think it is?
I think she was with Chica and someone else, maybe Jackie.
And I think Petty Fleur.
Jackie was in every scene, actually, today.
Yeah, I feel like Petty Fleur was just like, so?
Now, tell me what they've been saying about
me. I'm like, oh god, this woman's looking
for a fight. She's like, have they been talking about
my son with a beautiful bum?
Do they want to touch it?
Nouveau riche,
does that mean I'm newly rich with
a bum of a son?
I become wealthy with
my son's bum?
Why didn't she call me woman with a gorgeous son with a finger in his butt, Barbie?
How about extremely sexy son, Barbie?
How about bouncing her baby boy up and down on her lap, Barbie?
How about staring at my son while he is in the bathroom, showering to the crack of the door, Bobby?
How about hidden camera in my son's toilet, Bobby?
How about accidentally walking into his bedroom while he is masturbating and then saying, oh, my apologies.
I did not realize that this was not my bedroom.
And then he says, mom, why are you still standing here?
And I say, oh, I didn't realize.
I'm so sorry.
Let me go.
Bobby.
Okay, so she's all pissed off.
Okay, so the new ones, you know, you got to respect the new girls this year
because the girls in Melbourne are hungrier than the girls in America.
In America, they're like, wow, I hope that I can be on Housewives long enough to get my, you know, new line of glasses going.
And in Melbourne, they're like, we better fight or we're fired.
You know, like they come on and they are ready to rumble.
Petty Floor is ready to take down anybody who she even meets.
Like this bitch is just ready
for a fight and so is gamble so that makes it kind of annoying to watch but they're very funny on it
yeah well it's funny because chica once again was put in the position of being the gossip and
she was like she's like well gamble called you you know she called you uh nouveau riche barbie
but you know it's really it's i don't really see why it's a bad thing you know because you know it's not you know it means that you've come up in the world so
i think it's rather a lovely thing to say about someone yeah it's just you know you earned your
money so that money is new because you earned it so i think what she meant to call you was good for
you barbie because that's the way to do it you know you come into this country you came from a
poor town and then you made it happen for yourself i mean look at your son in an eight thousand
dollar suit you know old money doesn't do that so congratulations new money all right that was a You came from a poor town, and then you made it happen for yourself. I mean, look at your son in an $8,000 suit.
You know, old money doesn't do that.
So congratulations, new money.
All right?
That was a compliment.
Gamble just likes you.
She wants to be your friend.
Let's go.
Let's all go hang out with Brucie.
She's always trying to make everything okay.
You know, Hitler wasn't that bad of a guy.
He just wanted to make sure the Jews had a shower.
You know, he just had a vision. You know, he had a vision. You can't fault him bad of a guy. He just wanted to make sure the Jews had a shower. He just had a vision.
He had a vision.
You can't fault him for having a vision.
I mean, who doesn't want a nice neighborhood?
He's very ambitious.
You can't fault him for having ambition.
In my house, that's called goal setting.
And we approve of that.
We approve of goal setting.
You get a gold star on the refrigerator
every time you achieve a goal.
Isn't that right, Brucey?
goal setting. You know, you get a gold star on the refrigerator every time you achieve a goal.
Isn't that right, Brucey?
Every time Brucey buys me
a pashmina, he gets a gold star.
Every time I can get past Brucey's
mangina, I get a gold star.
You see, it works both ways there. Sometimes
life takes a little digging. A little digging
and a little pulling. But it eventually
works.
life takes a little digging a little digging and a little pulling but it eventually works
okay so they uh with manginas lately i don't know why i think because i'm losing weight and i'm like uh when are you gonna go down so let's see oh so then we have the psychic
the stupid jackie sunshine all right we need to have a meeting with the model people
because I'm going to know who I want to do for the la mascara.
We need a model.
I don't care how she looks on the outside.
I care what she looks like on the inside.
So I want pictures of spirits.
I want you to give me pictures of spirits.
Just get a spirit camera and take pictures of their insides.
I want selfies without makeup, and I just want to see souls.
All right?
Poor model people.
Well, this one looks...
And they're like...
And the modeling woman's like,
oh, I like this one.
I think you'll like this one.
Just something about sad about her.
She's like, oh, yeah, she's been sad.
She feels real sad.
I feel like...
I almost want to cry.
I almost want to cry.
There's a sadness about it.
The angels are telling me she's sad.
It's like, this one, this one really wants to make it in the modeling agency, but everybody's telling her no.
But she doesn't take no for an answer.
And she just keeps coming back and coming back again.
You know, we're going to call her in.
We're going to call her in because she's not getting a chance.
Oh, and look at this one.
This one had a Kit Kat this morning.
I can tell she had a Kit Kat.
You know, I love Kit Kats.
Let's bring her in.
This one farts the smell of cupcakes. I can tell that. And I'm going to bring that in because that had a Kit Kat. You know, I love Kit Kats. Let's bring her in. This one farts the smell of cupcakes.
I can tell that.
And I'm going to bring that in because that's a special gift.
You know, only angels can make you fart cupcakes like that.
You know, most people smell like rotten fish or whatever.
But this girl's got it.
Shine, shine, darling.
Shine, shine.
This one here has been involved in a pyramid scheme.
I can tell.
She feels guilty.
I think we should bring her in. She uh clairol a shampoo into little makeup
bottles and selling it as a pyramid scheme she's going to jail i'm gonna get this one in jail call
the police right now um i love that her and her kinky ass husband are always looking for models
for something because last year didn't they have a thing where they were looking at burlesque dancers
oh yeah that's right they're always looking at burlesque dancers? Oh, yeah, that's right.
They're always looking at hot chicks together.
I like that.
They're kinky.
That's true.
She's like, look at my husband.
You know, he's like little tiny Johnny Depp.
He's like little Johnny Depp if Johnny Depp was being played by Danny DeVito in a Lifetime movie with no budget.
Isn't he?
It's so hot, isn't he?
Shine, shine, darling.
Yeah, stick it in me.
I almost want to cry.
I feel sadness about it.
I feel sadness about Ben in Silver chair silver chair um all right so what's next here hungry insecure yeah i was just saying hungry insecure dinner i just the next thing the next thing i have is i don't even i
remember the context of it i just have gamble colon it's hard it's hard to be cuter than my wolf pup.
Why did she say that?
Why did she say that?
Because I don't remember, but I think she's talking about how everybody had to show up at this couple's dinner and no one brought couples. And she's like, maybe they're ashamed of their men because not everyone can have a man as cute as my wolfie, my little wolfie pup.
Oh, wolfie.
cute as my wolfie my little wolfie pop oh wolfie everybody can have a wolfie like my little wolfie he's like all right gamble i think maybe now you should calm down a little bit
gamble just went crazy for no reason first of all petty floorettifor is like, Gamble, I hear you call Barbies.
What kind of Barbie am I?
And she's like, I call you no Barbies, Barbie.
That was great fun.
She's like, oh, because you are from money, you are from old money.
It's like, yes, my father had a place in Palm Beach, on the beach, because he sold artwork based on dolphins.
So he was rich.
Rich enough.
Right?
Rich enough.
The house is big.
Palm Beach.
You're, I think, overlooking the best part of their argument, which is when they go,
I've heard you've been saying horrible things about me.
I've heard you've been...
Then she's like, I've heard you've been saying horrible things about me. I've heard you've been... Then she's like,
I've heard you've been saying horrible things about me.
I'm not stupid, are you?
Are you?
Are you?
Are you?
No.
Are you?
No.
Well, sometimes I am.
Oh, then you proved my point.
It's like, oh, you two are idiots.
You're both stupid, okay?
It's a draw.
I'm going to go back to Wolfie right now.
That was funny. She's like, I'm going to go back to wolfie right now that was funny yeah she's like i'm gonna go
back to my friends like okay you do that then um yeah they're just trying to start shit with
anybody but then it turned to janet was talking to wolfie and how did she even get on janet why
did she start with her oh i don't know don him that. It's because you called me a prostitute.
And she's like, I did not.
Yes, you did.
You called me a prostitute and a dick-swallowing whore.
And then you said my vagina was like a Holland Tunnel,
which isn't even in Palm Beach where my grandfather is.
The Holland Tunnel is not even in Palm Beach or in Holland.
Please use a geographically correct tunnel.
Gamble, darling.
Gamble, calm down, Gamble.
Settle down, sweetie. I think I'd like to leave.
I think I'd like to leave. No, we're not leaving.
I see what you're doing. Whatever you'd like to do, Gamble.
You need to calm down, darling.
And then Rick was like,
Oh, I was a bit of a peacemaker.
I was a bit of a peacemaker, I think.
Good for you, Rick.
Good for you.
And then...
Then Singing Waiters came out.
Oh, no.
Then we have the Lydia thing, which was really sad.
And Lydia's like, I just went to my son's wedding, and it was so gorgeous because, you know, it was a wedding.
And, you know, I could really see that it was my son because when he got up there to do his own vase, they didn't make any sense. They weren't, they were English words, but they weren't
stringed together properly. And I thought to myself, that's me coming out in my son, because
sometimes I just don't speak words right. And, you know, when I lost my son, when I was 21,
I gave birth to a dead son and everyone's like, oh, yeah. and so now he's like two sons up there getting
married and so i was watching two sons up there getting married and then someone starts laughing
laughing at the dead son story no what happened was that gamble was like smiling at wolfie and
then jackie was like stop snickering but i actually didn't think that gamble was making fun of the moment i think gamble was having a moment and then gina was like g Jackie was like, stop snickering. But I actually didn't think that Gamble was making fun of the moment.
I think Gamble was having a moment.
And then Gina was like, she's having a moment with a partner.
Back off.
Yeah, I don't know what that is.
And, yeah, Gina was about to kill somebody.
That was so sad watching Gina, I mean, watching Lydia cry.
Because I just figured she didn't have any emotions.
Yeah, no, that was sad that she had a stillborn but also kind of a weird toast yeah like maybe
let's save the dead baby stuff for like a lunch i don't know it's like there's there's about to
be fat singing waiters so let's shove the baby story shove the baby story and then gamble was
so trying not to say anything mean and they're
like so what did you think about the story gamble and she's like well you know women have rough
lives and you know a lot of times if you looked into women's lives they'd be rough there's a lot
of tragedy in a woman's life and i don't think people appreciate that very much
meanwhile when this when the waiters came out and started singing
Janet was like oh these waiters
they're just so wonderful
I'm sorry I'm still doing my Gamble voice I can't help it
it's hard
they're so different this year it's really hard to
differentiate it's hard to transition from
like Gamble to Janet
I honestly can only do Jackie
and Lydia right now with confidence
the other ones just sound crazy.
I think I got better with pedophore today, but it's going to take a long time.
And Janet, I can't even do Janet anymore because she's too close to Gamble.
And I can't do Gamble because she's too close to Dr. Ruth Westheimer and also the chick from Married to Medicine, Tanya.
Yeah, Toya.
Toya, Toya, Toya.
When I cut her there, when I cut Toya, Toya, Toya. What I thought of there was...
No, but the best is so that the waiters start singing
and then everyone's like,
oh, they're so beautiful.
Their voices are so amazing.
And my mom just like turns and goes,
goes and be like,
oh, he's awful.
Well, that was annoying.
Mom did not approve of the wait.
What's the place that used to have singing waiters?
I used to be like, really?
Why don't you guys focus on the food?
Is it Michelli's?
Chili's?
Michelli's.
Michelli's.
Oh, I don't know.
There's some place here that has singing waiters, and they're terrible.
It's like, really?
You're a white girl.
You cannot be singing from once on this island, okay?
Mama will not provide for you.
Get out. So what I thought was strange was that janet then by the end of this dinner janet like she made some comment that she was like
looking forward to hanging out with like petty fleur or something like that so i'm like oh i
thought that janet hated petty fleur but i guess that she likes her now they just keep switching
they can't decide what they're doing i love that that Gina's just trying to pick a fight at this point with Sunshine.
Because Sunshine's like, oh, so you got a new house?
Did you get someone in there with some sage or something?
You know, like a psychic, you know, because I'm a psychic.
And I don't like spirits in my house.
And Gina's like, no, I don't believe in that.
Sage is stupid.
I don't like the way it smells.
I don't believe in witchery.
So I think it's all stupid.
And if I don't want spirits in my house i just go in there and
tell them get out of here spirits because i said so and then they leave i looked that spirit right
into his ghost eyes and i said get out of my house and they go i don't need all this burning
of satan get that spirit out of my house right this minute to jackie's credit she didn't get mad she was like
you just discredited what i do for a living how do you do that you know we're on television this
could hurt my career you know this could hurt my professional business jackie was just like
whatever you old cow i don't care what you think anymore yeah and then the end was chica meeting
with gamble with their dogs and that's when gambleble's going, walkies, walkies.
I know she learned one trick.
One trick she's learned.
Yeah.
This is how I teach my dogs to walk.
I say, walkie, walkie, and then I give him a treat.
Look, if you put it on their nose, they sit down.
Oh, everybody in Melbourne knows that's how Chica's dog.
It's like, dude, your dog learned how to sit last week.
Okay.
It's not like your dog is Lassie, for Christ's sake.
Chica's like, every time that Brucie takes the dogs to Saks Fifth Avenue, they get a treat.
Every time that Brucie takes the dogs to Saks Fifth Avenue, they get a treat.
Speaking of a treat, I'm cleaning out a drawer while we're doing this, darling.
Which is why you can hear joy, pure joy on my end.
And I just pulled out two things. I pulled out breath spray that says, understand your mother instantly without having to meet with her or talk to her.
And I guess it's like peppermint breath spray.
I don't get it.
But then also I got something that Katie Cazorla gave me
last time she came over.
Streisand Partners.
Which her husband, not David,
not David made for.
Yeah.
He won a gram for that.
Not David Foster.
I don't know if he won a grams.
Probably.
We'll know next time Katie's on.
Katie, come back to the five and dime.
Katie, Katie.
Katie C, Katie C.
Yeah.
All right, so dog training.
And my other favorite thing was the Janet lunch where she was making fun of Gamble and saying,
you know, she says old money, but she doesn't know the difference because she's got no money.
And she's like, just like this song says,
I ain't saying she's a gold digger,
but she ain't messing with no broke person.
Doesn't rhyme, Janet, actually.
You've ruined the song.
Janet does Kanye West's new album, Hitting Stories, this fall.
The whole thing.
That's the next thing that not David Foster needs to work on.
Please listen to my new song called Persons in Paris.
Oh my god What's your order?
Fish filet?
We've got a lot to get to on this podcast
Ben, so we need to get moving along
It's an hour we've done here now
Alright, so what do you want to do next?
Blood, sweat and heels
Or would you like real Housewives of Atlanta?
Well, let's do Atlanta
Because I took notes on that
And I didn't take notes on Blood, Sweat, and Heels
And not much happened on either one of them
But that's okay
Yeah, alright, I'm dancing to it
So Atlanta, I actually watched with my dad
Which, my dad was, you know
My dad was amused by the whole thing he thinks it's ridiculous and
at one point when the women were like i guess talking about who knows what my dad just turns
me goes these insights um but he did laugh he he my dad definitely laughed when when phaedra said
i haven't called you a whore this year i called you satan but I haven't called you a whore this year.
I called you Satan, but I didn't call you a whore.
So we start with Kenya's booty coming out of the pool.
That's a sight that does not need to be seen, okay?
That shit still had the price tag hanging off of that.
There are many guys who would disagree with you.
I mean, I guess. But that thing looks like it could crack your
walnuts right away.
Turn them into walnut juice.
I mean, it's no Petty Floor's
son, but
it'll do.
So they move on
to the city
on their vacation, and they get a
butler, blah, blah,ler blah blah blah costumes moose fitting
at cinderella so by the way porsche has now officially graduated to drag queen status like
when they when they all moved to manila when they drove left the farm and went to manila
porsche is looking officially drag queen now well you know you got to keep those african men happy
they expect a certain level of wiggery
yeah I did enjoy
the scenes with Nini
getting the costume design
I'm sorry costume fitting
and then Greg is like
you'd sell real well down in Atlanta
all this booty and he starts doing all these
twerk
twerking booty
and this
old gay guy
is just like
what are you doing
he's like um okay
he's like Sherry Shepard did not do this
he's like someone get me a Zima
yeah he was not having
he was not having the moose fitting I love that when Greg walked in the room he's like, someone get me a Zima. Yeah, he was not having the moose fitting.
I love that when Greg walked in the room, he's like, wow!
Like, whoa, Greg, all right?
Try and hide it a little bit.
Bring it in.
Well, I think...
Torch off, Hobbit, Hobbit house.
Oh, that Phaedra thing.
Like, I love little people.
And then they were...
She's like, I want to go to the Hobbit house.
I got a thing for little people.
Yeah.
This whole episode was really weird.
A lot of my notes have twerk off and then question mark and Phaedra.
But is it appropriate?
I'm like, really, Phaedra?
You were fucking some guy who just got out of jail to have your babies. And then you got him thrown back in jail again.
Who are you calling appropriate?
You're having sex with some some some hooker named chocolate yeah
well that's it that's all i have to say i have yeah i have i had that i made a note about the
hobbits too that was odd and then i have a note that says goodbye montage for nini it looked like
it looked like there was a goodbye montage for nini when she's like if i look back on all where
i've come from and they show like it was showed an extended montage of Nini throughout the years doing things.
Also, Nini just being awful, pretty much.
Yeah.
It wasn't any of her fun stuff.
It was like, look, here's Nini screaming, I'm rich, bitch, at Sharae.
Yeah.
And being chased out and called toilet lid teeth.
Oh, look, there's Nini making an ass out of herself again like it
was like this i kind of felt bad for her and i i kind of had the same feeling too which was i was
which is why i was extremely annoyed to read this story that's come out the path that came out today
actually um they're claiming that nini leaks has been given a huge raise to stay on uh atlanta
she's already making over a hundred i mean she's already making over a million an episode from
what i hear or is it a million a year what does she mean it must be a million a million a million
an episode is like yeah that's like friends money yeah she's making like a million over a million a
year and she's already the highest paid housewife.
And she's going to be getting even more to come back.
Now, of course, this is Radar Online pointing this out, which is usually wrong.
And says things like Teresa Giudice is going to get a spinoff behind bars, which is totally false.
So who knows?
Nene Leakes is, she's done.
No one likes her.
I mean, Bravo is, they're not idiots.
They can see where the buzz is.
And they're also cheap as hell.
And if Nene is being difficult to work with and she's no longer a fan favorite, there's no reason for them to keep her.
I think at this point she won't even film with anybody.
film with anybody so because this article also mentions that she's even going to get bigger bonuses which katie's told us when she's on the show that these ladies actually get bonuses for
fights and wars like whenever there's a war or a fight they actually get paid more money for it
which explains why nini's always trying to start fights over nothing because that just wants money
but then the fact that she didn't go on on this trip with them is like a big deal.
I think that Bravo – I can't imagine that Bravo was happy about that.
And they're editing it to make it look like that Nene was like at her Broadway fitting while this was happening.
But I don't believe that that's necessarily the case.
Like it's totally conceivable that they just edited it together to make it look that way.
I think that like not going on the trip is is
definitely bad news and then when you get like a goodbye montage to go with it that's dangerous i
mean what would drive me but they did give her a spinoff so that would be pretty ballsy of them
to fire her but i think she's just kind of sick of doing it too don't you i think so too she seems
like she's well she's she is easily frustrated and she just she's sick of doing
it because she's no longer the star that she once was in the sense that like other members of have
come up like kenya who have totally rivaled her for like fan favorite or just like sort of like
the face of the real housewives yeah um but i think that um you know what frustrates me about
nini is that this was actually a very peaceful trip.
And it was peaceful and everyone got along.
And you'd hope that Nini would watch this and say to herself, like, oh, gosh, maybe I am the problem.
Maybe I –
They don't do that.
Instead, what she does is she's going to watch it and be like, and see, because I wasn't there, it was a boring-ass trip, right?
Because who knows if I – that's how she – And it actually was, and it was because I wasn't there, it was a boring ass trip, right? Because, you know, that's how she.
And it actually wasn't.
It was actually really fun to watch.
Like, it was actually a really fun episode.
Now that they're all getting along, they were being hilarious.
I laughed through the whole thing.
I might not just say LOL a lot.
It'll be like riding a horse, LOL.
And Phaedra's like, now, can I speak to you, please?
Horse, horse renter guy.
Because this woman who was leading my horse was telling me about her sad story.
About her husband dying.
And how it's been so hard for her.
And I thought, we have so much in common.
Because my husband is in jail.
After stealing cars and stealing identities and pretending to be other people.
And taking tons of money from families like hers and making them broke.
It's like, your husbands have nothing in common, Phaedra, okay?
And this woman doesn't even know English because you need a translator to tell her all this.
Shut up, just give her your 20 and move on.
And she's like, make sure the cameras can see me, give her this $20 or whatever she gave her.
Please, it was like a blockbuster card.
She's like, here, take this and enjoy all sorts
of rentals she's like get two for one angel food cakes at ralph's for the next month
here's the library card
here's some stamps before they raise the price you'll need to use two just to see your letters
not sent back here's my quiznos card it It's brand new, so there are no punches
yet.
When you get there, you'll get
a free sandwich. Here's one dollar
off a breakfast sandwich at Starbucks
if you've used this before
April 14th.
Here's a
Monopoly piece I got from McDonald's
last year. I'm not sure if it's still going to be redeemed,
but you might be able to get yourself a chicken sandwich. He's like, here's a monopoly piece i got from mcdonald's last year i'm not sure if it's like we redeemed but you might be able to get yourself a chicken sandwich he's like here's a horse
handing back the horse she just yeah
um yeah let's see here here's a coupon i found in the back of my clothing hanger
and then the guy's like oh thank you so much for your gift because you know she's very shy it's
very difficult for her to open up like how shy could she been she just told this woman her life
story on a damn horse who she's never met before with cameras i mean give me a like break that
bitch ain't shy her husband's probably still alive at home she tells everybody that yeah um i like
that porsche first of all porsche was like dressed like Pocahontas practically
and I did
I love that she was calling herself the princess of
fought land that was cracking me up
Portia's been very funny
she's gonna get that little
peach back I think
even though she hasn't fought with anybody I think
she's gonna pull a Luan and get her
they're punishing him now you know like luann got her her apple back or whatever yeah um well
the biggest thing in the episode was kenya and phaedra finally having a sit down and this was
preceded by phaedra calling her preacher because she just wants she's's like, listen, I just want the good Lord. And I just want to be as a, what does she say?
I want to be like the wise virgin strong.
I was like the wise virgin never gotten a knockdown drag out fight,
calling other people a whore lady. Okay.
You do not have the same problem and you have never been a virgin.
You haven't been a burden since eighth grade, but she's like,
what should I do? And he's like, don't give away your, your beauty away your your beauty your inner beauty i'm like oh you two need to both shut up i loved when they
showed the whore montage the fuck fader calling kenya a whore he's like i may have i may have
called a whore in the past and they cut to like her saying it 25 times
kenya more how how bad can you feel for ken i mean kenya is like playing this whole
nice thing now and i have to give her credit it does work and it's worked many many times on
housewives shows where people just rehab their image in a season you forget all the shitty things
they did but kenya immediately started shit with phaedra tried to charge her like a hundred
thousand dollars for some shitty video.
Then she stole her video idea.
Then she fell all over herself flirting with her husband just to make Phaedra mad.
Of course she's going to call her a whore.
I mean, give me a break.
I mean, I know Phaedra's like a bitch on wheels too, don't get me wrong,
but at least she's not pretending she's, well, yes, she is.
But I guess Phaedra's always done that.
She's always been like a whore in a church lady outfit, you know?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
But Kenya's just trying to play this innocent thing like,
You don't get...
That was the best thing.
You don't get to call me a whore.
You don't get to do that.
Like, I haven't called you a whore this year.
I've called you Satan.
Meanwhile, the other girls are in the other room,
and they're, like, looking at bitter melon,
and I guess Portia's making comments about, like, masturbating with it.
She's like, ooh, put that in the microwave.
Candy's like, ooh, put my fruit in the microwave.
Candy's like, I ain't never heard of that.
Well, yeah, because you sell dildos.
Why would you recommend fucking a cucumber?
See?
No.
Kegel balls.
I love at the beginning of the Phaedra Kenya conversation when Phaedra's like, you know, when we first met, we were working on a friendship.
And the only clip they have of them is eating ice cream together going, mm, that's good.
Mm, yes, that is good.
Like, you did not have a friendship. You ate ice cream together going, that's good. Yes, that is good. You did not have a friendship.
You ate ice cream one time.
Let's see.
Oh, and then she's like,
well, would you come to church
with me on Sunday?
And Kenya's like,
how about we pray now?
Okay, you two are both full of shit,
but that was a cute scene
and it will be nice
to see them hang out together
because we've learned on this show
two bitches are magic together.
That's right.
Right?
Yes. Yes it is right.
Good little partners. For now.
It'll be interesting to see how Nini reacts.
Well there you know
you have to hand it to Claudia too
because Claudia has basically walked
in stolen Porsche's job
and is doing a pretty good job at completely discrediting Nene.
Yeah.
And she acts all nice.
She's like, I'm just Claudia.
I'm so nice.
But she's really wreaked some havoc on the cast.
Yeah.
I mean, all Nene did this episode was stand around in a big Renaissance dress.
And then they were cutting from, like, praying and happiness and everybody hugging and getting along to meanie going if i ever hear twirl one more time
don't tell me to twirl costume man and he's like what what did i do wrong and they had to like stop
tape to tell him what that meant yeah he's like he was like kind of half laughing like oh okay
then spin like bitch get out of here you were like the 30th heifer to
get in this dress do you know how many times i've had to take this thing in and out okay i'm gonna
have to add about a foot of fabric to the stomach of this dress because of you stop your fucking
twerking get the hell out of my costume fitting room i like how he was trying to give her a pep
talk too he's like nini you are the active verb of this musical and And they cut to Greg with this look on his face like, what's a verb?
She ain't active.
What's a verb?
What'd you call my wife?
Call you a verb.
She's like, that's right, I'm an active verb.
I was, and I made my money.
I did it for the money, honey.
I'm a rich bitch.
My active verb.
That's why I work my cousin Gerond
the best part is the end
because they showed clips of next week
where they're working in a homeless
shelter
which is the funniest fucking thing I've ever seen
is Nini in like a hairnet or some shit
at a homeless shelter
and Claudia's making her fight in the homeless shelter
love it, cannot wait
I love when can't wait for Claudia to take down Nini and Claudia's making her fight in the homeless shelter. Love it. Cannot wait.
I love when... Can't wait for Claudia to take down Nini.
Oh, yeah.
She's not going to let her pass.
Nini's trying to pass so hard
that she won't let her pass.
So what's next?
Blood, sweat, and heels.
Cancer is uncomfortable.
Okay, that's the moral of this story.
Jesus, what is she doing on TV with stage three cancer?
Daisy, lay down.
I know, Daisy, don't you remember what
happened to Gene Siskel? Like,
take a break.
Have an app.
Don't give me your job when it's all
out of you. Yeah, you
can't be, like, going up
to Micah's place in
Harlem and walking up those stairs. You gotta
like, just stay in Brooklyn and
sit back and heal up, girl.
If she dies of cancer on this show, I'm gonna
be pissed.
I know, it's like really scary.
It's like
it's really
it's like, honestly, when they were showing her getting
chemo, I thought that was a very emotional scene.
She's sitting there crying, getting the chemo and
asking to be healed and the breathing coach is like let the
medicine take you over but it was still you know it was it was just i don't know i felt i just felt
so bad it was it was really it was teary it was a teary moment over it was in the carom home
it was it was i don't know the poor girl she's she's so sunny and you know i mean i i definitely
like had my my annoyances with her last year and i complained about who knows what
but at the end of the day you don't want to see someone with with cancer especially someone so
young like daisy well on daisy is like stuff you make fun of daisy for isn't like being mean
or being a catty bitch.
It's just being silly, you know?
It's like, my woman event on a rooftop in Brooklyn because women need to celebrate each other.
My new book is coming out in five days.
Shut up.
Poor Daisy.
If you think about it, it's just been, like, a series of heartbreaking missteps and failures for her.
I mean, there was that brunch which then everyone
made fun of then she went on the date where she was late which was you know it sucks that she was
late but then the guy made her cry at the table oh yeah that was like heartbreaking i mean she
was late she shouldn't have been late but wow he really he really laid into her yeah it's a lot of
uncomfortable moments with her. Yeah.
And, you know, one positive thing about all of this is it goes to prove once and for all that a positive attitude doesn't mean shit.
Okay?
So get off my ass about a positive attitude, okay? Because that's the most positive person I've ever seen.
And she's gone through more shit in two years than anybody else I know personally, you know?
So screw it.
I'm going to keep my negative attitude.
Meanwhile, on the other end of the spectrum is Melissa Ford,
who I've actually always enjoyed Melissa on this show.
Oh, she's got the second year curse of becoming a total,
her bitch flower is blooming in the second year, for sure.
It's just more like this whole thing about this, like,
I want to put my video vixen reputation to bed.
Okay, here's an idea.
How about you stop talking about it?
Yeah, how about not make a musical about it to hold on to it, you weirdo?
Yeah, exactly.
For vixens who contemplated homicide when the video was too much.
It's like you're never going to live it down if you keep on using it as your headline.
And then she's like, yeah, it's so weird that a job in a bikini,
dancing sexually and twerking in music videos,
and then guys like want to fuck me?
It's like, I mean, have some respect.
Come on, lady.
It's like you can't be a car and then be surprised
when someone tries to put a key in you, okay?
But the play was hilarious.
Yeah.
Because she was being such a diva about it, which was hilarious because it was in this tiny little theater.
It was like the actor's thought theater.
It cost $50 a night to go in there.
Did you call it the actor's thought theater?
What is it called?
I forget.
It's like the actor.
I was going to say the actor's gang, but I know it's not that.
I thought you said the actor's thought, like T-H-O-T. I was like say the Actors gang but I know it's not that it's like I thought so when you said the actors
Thought like THOT I was like ooh that's
Real shady yeah
That was definitely a mispeak
No
I don't know who yet but it was a tiny
Little theater actually wasn't
That tiny but it was definitely a small
Theater and
As much as this musical
Was like the worst thing ever i did kind of feel bad
for her when they were just like one technical issue after another i mean sound blowing out and
lights going off it was a total disaster i just i just came out of this thinking she was kind of an
asshole honestly yeah like her mom came to town with who was that her aunt or her friend her aunt
it's it's
yeah her aunt they're so funny together they were hilarious totally like just that they're her mother
and her aunt you know they all look so different but she's like oh it's my mom and you know me and
my mom i was closer with my dad growing up and me and my mom didn't really get along so you know
that she's just kind of this kind of slutty or whatever like she turned into a video eviction
you know her mother was horrified and she's like but my mother never really understood what i went
through she never really saw what happened to me so this play is like opening up to my mother
for the first time ever she's getting to see inside my heart i'm sure your mother was shocked that you were fucking
people on the set of music videos i'm sure that that's coming as a huge shock to her
yeah that was really like the big secret is when she was like i'm a video star and then some guy
came up and started like boning her from behind like that was like the big reveal yeah her mom
did not look surprised yeah no uh if anything she just looks hot and bored
yeah like everybody else i love that daisy was like you know that play was good but i'm not
sure if the point was become a video vixen or don't become a video because she's like glamorizes
it at the same time she's talking about like like, what a victim she is, you know?
It's like you can't be proud and ashamed at the same time.
Make up your mind.
Mm-hmm.
I liked how before the play started, Micah and Demetria wound up, like, in the lobby together, standing right next to each other, just not talking.
Micah's hilarious.
Yeah.
Micah is so so
so funny i mean she just three is not at all she's just such an uptight downer bitch like she
is there in a grumpy fat mood giving dirty looks with her little slitty eyes at everybody and micah
she's like i've ever done in my life. Just standing there. She did this five-minute thing of impersonating them while they just stood there picking their teeth.
Well, they showed the footage at the same time.
It was actually kind of brilliant.
Here's the thing.
I feel like Demetria is very smart.
She's probably one of the smartest people on Bravo.
But, man, she is just sour.
She's just overly cynical.
She's just like a bullfrog actually she's just like she's just like a
bullfrog you know it sort of sits there with like half open eyes and just stares at you and she's
like well you know i don't like to hang around bad people you know because i'm a smart person
and smart people need to be you know the last time i saw her she was trying to break down a door
so you know rehab like you're just being a shallow
mean bitch i mean you're sitting here talking about how above it you are but you're openly
like when you're like what in the same row as her saying things like i can't with that
i can't even look at that you know have a drink or whatever she's saying she's just like making
all these snide little comments i don don't know. She's just annoying.
And you're also going up against the most loved person on the show.
Yeah.
And she knows that by now.
So I'm not really sure what her deal is.
But yeah, she's a sour girl.
Yeah.
I mean, she is dumb for going up against Micah.
It's Micah, right?
Or is it Mika?
Micah, right?
for going up against Micah.
It's Micah, right?
Or is it Mika?
Micah, right?
And the thing is,
I wish I could like talk more about
the things that Micah does,
but they're so funny
that it's just,
it'd be the equivalent
of being like,
oh, remember when she did that?
That was funny.
Or you remember when she did that?
That was funny.
She's just like funny
the entire show.
Yeah, she's too much.
Like, my friends have shown up
places and shown their vagina
because they've gotten so drunk.
Like, many times.
And yeah, sometimes it's annoying but you know
I know they're crazy I just told my friends well
they're crazy so whatever
I mean I do think that Micah last year she should have at least
acknowledged and apologized for being
such a crazy drunk bitch now here's the
thing that Demetria though to be
fair Demetria still is
playing like she's a victim in all this
she was like she's like I'm not talking
to her she tried to break through a glass door to get to me i'm like are you seriously like
yeah she's trying to make it sound like it was kujo and it's not yeah exactly it's not like she
was coming at you with a knife like glenn close is here you know it's just it was just she was
drunk and trying to talk to you it was like it was like the most benign thing. It's also hard to respect somebody
when they're like,
yes, because I'm doing my 50th novel
and it's self-published,
which means I have to...
Oh, yeah, that's what I love.
It's like, oh, my God.
Stop.
Stop bragging.
Yeah.
Maybe if you sell a lot,
brag about that, but I mean...
Yeah, it was like translation,
she was dropped by her publisher.
Totally.
First book didn't sell well.
She didn't sell enough.
Yeah.
And that's why anyone would self-publish.
Mm-hmm.
But one other thing I wrote was Melissa going on that radio show.
I know I'm going back to Melissa's side.
Yeah, that's okay.
That's all right.
She started this show to go promote herself on the radio.
And they're like, Melissa Ford, how you doing, baby?
And she's like, oh, I'm so tired.
I'm doing so much.
I hate people who do that.
I hate that.
They're so busy, but nobody else is.
Nobody else does anything with their life.
But she's like, oh, I'm so tired.
And I'm like, well, save it for the show.
Okay, so how's it going?
So it's about being a video vixen.
And she's like, yeah, you know, it's like I became famous for being a video vixen.
I'm like, a bunch of people jerking off to you.
I mean, it's not like you won an Oscar.
OK, but she's like, I became really famous and they wouldn't let me grow like.
No one will let me grow.
They won't let me be anything more than just a video vixen.
Like the other day, I got a dildo in the mail.
Like, why aren't you talking about how you don't want to be a sex object?
But then you're starting to talk about dildos like you just need to be quiet melissa
okay and how many how many fucking properties have you even rented i'm not buying it with her
she needs to clear her shit up yeah exactly melissa you are on probation you're very you're
getting very dangerous dangerously close to being on our shit list yeah you're getting too big for your britches lady now meanwhile uh we also got our first taste of the two new cast members one was some girl named
like chantal or shelly or shamoos or what was her name i don't even remember i didn't even write it
down that's how interesting they were the british one i know is going to be fun because we saw
see her telling people off at the end of the year yeah no she's the british one what's hilarious about her is that
she knows who the popular ones are so she comes as a guest of geneva and um dimitria and like
as the moment the first chance that she gets to leave those two and run to micah she does it she
like then she's like by by micah and daisy the entire night hanging out with them and
then like dimitri and geneva like well we're going and she's like but we're exchanging rings now
we're exchanging rings well who's gonna hang out with wesley snipes and sour
you know sour sally when there's like fun people yeah i mean the girl with
can't stage three cancer is more fun than you guys okay perk up yeah it's true like jesus christ she's having more fun than you losers get it together yeah
and by the way it really bothered me that when daisy said hi to geneva and dimitria that
dimitrius didn't say hi back at all and And then later on, Demetrius, when she left, she was like,
by the way, Daisy, you can say hi to me.
It's okay.
You can say hi to me.
I'm like, shut up.
She did say hi.
I don't understand why all the women call me a monster.
You know, I'm not a monster.
I'm just not going to put up with bullshit.
It's like, you are a fucking monster.
You come in.
You give everybody dirty looks.
You don't say hi.
You're a bitch on purpose.
You speak about them above your breath so everybody can hear you.
You're an asshole, okay?
Own it.
Just be an asshole.
I mean, that's one good thing about people like NeNe.
At least she's just like I'm an asshole.
Like Brandi Glanville.
She's an asshole.
And she's like, yeah, I'm an asshole.
We'll talk about Beverly Hills tomorrow.
But I love when she was, when Eileen's like, she said, Eileen, I admitted to you that I was an
asshole and I said I was sorry. And Eileen goes,
and then you kept being an asshole. And Bridie
just nods yes, like, yeah.
Turns away, like, that's
a perfectly acceptable answer, you know?
Because that's, she's, that's
her thing, you know? She's a
dick. She's just a dick.
We also met Arzo, who is
sort of like, she's the Afghani lady we also met arzo who is sort of like she's she's the afghani lady she's
kind of like the afghanistan's uh version of judy gold she's sort of like uh yeah that's a good call
she uh what's funny about her is that like geneva's like oh afghani so so you're an arab
and she's like no i'm afghani and she's like but i have a black boyfriend geneva's like, no, I'm Afghani. But I have a black boyfriend. Geneva's like, oh.
Okay.
Getting her cred in.
Yeah.
Well, I think that the addition of the new ladies
is going to be fun because they look like they
came to
party. Yeah, I think
so. I feel like Arzo is going to be crazy
and I feel like the British one is
going to say some really stuck up things can't wait i do kind of miss the condescending nature of brie from last season but
that's okay but i love knowing that she's home feeling so above it all right now i think that's
yeah exactly her parents house the hamptons yeah like could you believe we let that show film
here in the Hamptons? It's a very exclusive community.
I should have listened to you, Mommy.
Well, I'm hearing an overhead
delivery of sliders for MJ.
Oh, it's time to go.
I think that I'm going to go
try to
traipse across the street and get myself a free
slider. Do it, man.
All right.
Well, this has been fun.
It sure has.
Thanks, everybody, for listening.
We will be back tomorrow with our second episode of the week covering Real Housewives of Beverly
Hills, Shaws of Sunset, and Southern Comfort with our special guest, Angie Thomas from
the Small Potatoes podcast.
What did you call it originally?
Rough?
The Rough Biscuits.
I don't know where I got that.
But we'll be back then please join us at patreon.com slash watch what crappens for our premium content and find us on facebook at facebook.com slash watch what crappens and of
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What happened?
No, nothing.
I'm just teasing.
But if you haven't left a review,
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This is amazing to be doing two times a week.
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To the insurance company that did me wrong. I've moved on and I'm happily insured with
another. Bless your peep-picking heart.
It was just never meant to be betwixt us.
You gave me automobile insurance apprehension.
And Geico has come along and in just 15 minutes given me new car insurance
and made me as jubilant as a newborn lamb in springtime.
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That's one thing you never had.
Joyful with another.
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