Watch What Crappens - #179: The Lost Footage of Matt Whitfield!

Episode Date: April 23, 2015

Ben Mandelker (bsideblog) and Ronnie Karam (TrashTalkTV) are re-joined by the incomparable Matt Whitfield (YahooTV), our old co-host, for a super sized episode about The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Lost Footage episode and the brunch battle on The Real Housewives of New York. Then we move onto the always classy Shahs of Sunset to talk lie detectors, freeballing and chickpea shakes! Come on in! Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. Ronnie on the Web: http://www.trashtalktv.com Ronnie on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/trashtalkteevee Ronnie on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/trashtalktv Ronnie on Tumblr: http://trashtalktvrecaps.tumblr.com/ Ben on the Web: http://www.bsideblog.com Ben on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/bsideblog Ben on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/bsideblog Our Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/watch-what-crappens On iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/watch-what-crappens/id498130432?mt=2 Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what happens. Watch what happens. Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? Watch what happens. Watch what happens. Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? Hey everybody, welcome to the Watch What Crappens podcast. The podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on Bravo. I'm Ronnie Karam from TrashTalkTV.com. And here with me is the gorgeous Ben Mandelker from B-Side Blog and the band To Blender. Hello, Ben.

Thank you, Ronnie. Thank you so much. We have a very special guest. But before I introduce him, I'm going to plug shit. If you want to get our contacts to find us on Instagram or any other social media outlet, please come to watchwhatcrappens.com. That's where we've listed everything. Also, come to our

facebook.com slash watchwhatcrappens page. That's where you can talk to us and other listeners and talk crap about the shows. We have live show threads that are super fun to be a part of and we read a lot of those comments as we do the show. So, go over there. If you'd like extra content, which includes a bonus episode, ringtones, and a Google Hangout party once a month,

come to patreon.com slash watchwhatcroppens. That's patreon.com slash watchwhatcroppens. And donate whatever y'all feel like and we'll be there and now for our very special guest you know him as the thin and gorgeous talented and brilliant matthew whitfield from yahoo tv hello matt hi matt get off my jock get off my jock guys get off my jock i mean i i've been, guys. Get off my jock. I mean, I've been gone because, you know, obviously Ben and I had a huge, huge blow up and Derek should blame Ben for all of this. But it's nice to be back. Well, as we all know, there was a situation with a sample sale 20 years ago.

A dress was stolen and, you know, tempers were tempers flared and it's all been downhill ever since but we've made it back and here we are all together thank you guys for having me the prodigal son has returned for throwback thursday i'm glad to be here yeah and do you have you do you have pearls nearby the clutch because there's gonna be a lot of pearl clutch and i already sense well my girl just actually when i met her like a year plus ago when she moved to la um she actually bought me a strand of pearls and i have them with me at all times oh that's good nice um for those of you who don't know matt who are newer to the podcast matt is wait let's let's stop right let's stop right there who doesn't know who the fuck i am? Well, you know, Matt, you know, some people are fairly new, okay?

Yeah. Some people, we actually have a bunch of new listeners and new people who have liked us on Facebook, thanks to the For Crying Out Loud podcast, which has been giving us shoutouts. So we have a bunch of new people, and to that we say welcome, and meet Matt.

Matt was one of our original co-hosts. Yeah. Matt sounds funny. I don't know how I feel. I don't know how I feel about these new people. Oh, well. Well, we don't know how they'll feel about you either, Matthew. Time will tell. Exactly.

Exactly. I'm like the Lisa Rinna. Like, maybe I'll only be around for one more episode or one more season. How dare you? Why? Did you get fired? Why are you saying that? No, I'm kidding.

I don't know. Matt is going to, what was I going to say about Matt? Oh, Matt sounds weird because he's a call-in guest. Yeah, we have a call-in guest. Matt was supposed to come on last week, and then we got word that Lisa... Do you want me to explain? Sure. I'll explain how this went.

I was supposed to be on the show last week. I was supposed to actually be on two weeks ago for the premiere of New York because it is the crown jewel, in my opinion. Yes. And then last week I got bumped for Lisa Renner. And then when Lisa Renner canceled, Ronnie called me back to ask me if I could join. And then I was like, dude, I already filled that slot in the schedule. So sorry. I am no second fiddle to Lisa Renner, okay?

Thank you. Big boobed idiot from Days of Our Lives who replaced it. Exactly. I almost said replaced it. Actually, I did say it. I didn't almost say it. I said replaced it her. And then Matt sent a text that said, you need to be nicer to your sister.

I will fuck you up. It's not okay to talk like that just because you're mad, all right? It's not okay to talk like that Just because you're mad alright Did you guys catch last night That she had a Like Kim Richards had a moment Of Teresa Giudice Where she said

Textasises Yes Like she couldn't say the word text And I was like What is happening I don't want to talk about these texts You know it's like classic Kim Oh Kim God bless her heart.

So there's a lot to discuss today. What show would you guys like to start with? Well, why don't we just start with Beverly Hills? We're already talking about Lisa. One thing I want to do first before we really dive into it, since we haven't touched base with Matt in a little bit, I want to see, Matt, where your loyalties lie. Like, what team are you on? Who do you like these days? Team New Girls. I'm all about Eileen and Lisa. I've loved Lisa since she was Taylor

McBride alongside Rob Estes on Melrose Place. So I'm Team New Girls. And in a crazy, crazy way, they're starting to make me and I don't know if the editors or if it's just how much I hate Kim, but I'm starting to like Kyle a little bit more. And I really, really like Kyle, Lisa, Lisa, and Eileen. I think that that's my foursome. Yeah, I would agree, though. And I think the reason one of my theories that I've been sort of like stammering my way through all season is that I think that I think the past few seasons, one of the reasons why we really dislike Kyle is because she's been putting up like, well, that she's this nice, sweet person who's conciliatory because this first season one, she was kind of like a raging bitch because she had that big fight with Camille. And then I think she tried to like fix her image. But I think this season, the real Kyle has come out again. And she doesn't realize that I think people like that side of her. People like when she gets so angry, she can't help but yelling at people because it's actually very real.

Well, Kim deserves all of the yelling that she's receiving from Kyle. I mean, in the three reunion episodes, I mean, Kim was a fucking raging psychopath. And I thought Kyle did a good job of, like, holding it back. But I really actually want to see her attack her sister. Yeah. Yeah, at this point, actually want to see her attack her sister yeah yeah at this point i miss i miss i miss the days of her attacking her in the back of a limousine yeah totally well i don't like kyle because of the whole lisa vanderpump thing and i know people are like ah you're up lisa vanderpump's ass but i just think she's like super funny and like a cool chick and right kyle went after her with such stupid stuff like she got

on that weird team with adrian maloof and uh brand or not brandy well last year was brandy but at first it was adrian maloof and whoever else she got on this weird team where she just didn't like her for no reason and i think she had housewives jealousy and i didn't like they they all got like a total jealousy yeah yeah they got obsessed with this notion that ooh lisa is the mastermind and she's using you and playing like hang out with her is like playing chess because she's manipulating you and it's like okay fine but to what end she's not like trying to take over incorporation you know what what happened was lisa got vanderpump rules two seasons ago, and season one was such a success, and then they got re-upped,

and it was all of that, and the girls were incredibly jealous. And I think Kyle, in opening that store in Beverly Hills, was hoping that she could then also get a spin-off, and that shit did not happen. And I think that it was massive jealousy, but I think Kyle is understanding that she comes across as a bitch on TV and she wants to dial it back and she wants to play more of the mommy role which i think is a little boring but you know i don't like as long as she fights somewhat likable but i don't want her to fall too much into this like boring like the boring like let's just don't over portia

because that gets tiresome yeah it does well i. Well, I think that the Portia stuff is best the way we saw it this week, which was saved for a lost footage special because I don't really care too much about Portia or anything that, any of the storylines around her. And yet I found that I was sort of enjoying these scenes of watching her going to speech therapy. I was like sort of fascinated to see how that would work.

You know? Portia. I know. And I kind of felt bad. It work, you know? Holy shah. I know. And I kind of felt bad. It was a sad scene. She can't pronounce her name. She didn't want to say her own name. She's like, listen, honey,

this family has a long tradition of stupid names. Her cousin is Paris. You think that's easy for her? No. This is where Paris first started. Her downward trend was when she started sticking popsicle sticks in her mouth at age six i just my my whole thing is like torcia is adorable and i thought that scene was fine and yes it's fine for a lost footage episode but like when she's

telling kyle that she wants to be an actress and kyle is actually saying that she's gonna you know encourage that or would she say she said i'm know, encourage that. Or what did she say? She said, I'm not going to encourage it, but I'm going to support it. As if she's talking about coming out of the closet. Yeah, yeah. Look, we all live in this town. Look what happened to her fucked up sister child actress, Kim. Like, maybe it's not the best idea. Yeah, I think that's why she's hesitant.

There was a blind item last week. You know those dumb blind items? I don't know if they're true or not. But I love how dirty they are. And last week there was one about Kim Richards that was posted on our Facebook. And it was, this child actress had to sleep with adults when she was a child and strip in front of people while they masturbated in front of, you know, like shit like that. I mean, geez, I know acting's hard, but if you've got those kind of issues in your family maybe you know maybe it's best to get her interested in singing whole whole son career

you know well i don't i i don't i don't think kyle is the worst mother we've seen on the real housewives but sometimes there are things where i'm like she could probably be a little bit better i mean like portia is getting a little spoiled from what we can see and also just in like the in the The lost footage they show Portia like climbing up onto the counter and like stealing a brownie And I was like I was like why is who told this little girl? It's okay for her to get up onto a counter with her feet Then ten seconds later Kyle gets up on the counter with her feet and starts fixing a picture. I was like, oh, never mind.

Yeah, there you go. To clarify, I'm sitting on my Carrera marble counters in my kitchen right now doing this podcast and I'm staring at Brownie. It comes from your mother. I still get a boner when I see Franzia. It's like deep, weird mommy issues. I love how I have all these opinions on how Portia should be reared. I'm like the least qualified person to say any of this. I have no kids and I'm very awkward around them.

So I should really shut up. Well, I think, you know, more about kids when you don't have them because then you have them and then you're like, wait a second. I knew I knew what to do right now, but I forgot because, you know, look, most of us know most of us without kids know if your kid is screaming in a store, beat it until it's quiet. But then when you actually have a kid, I'm not going to beat my kid in a store. You become a pussy. No, of course not. And they're so cute. Speaking of kids, what do you think about the little grandma segment and Pandy comes back with her new husband and Lisa is just itching to have some grandbabies.

That poor guy looks like he's waiting to get to the Abbey later for a drink. And he's more bored than ever. If he looked a little uncomfortable, it may have to do with the oversized cherub chairs they were sitting in. Did you guys see those things? Very awkward. Giant stone cherub chairs. I was like, darling darling Chef Penny made these for us

so you have to sit in them darling did you notice that he also had more hair and it was darker this time because like when he was getting married he was kind of having

a Prince William situation where he was straight up bald with some bangs and now he has a full thick mane yeah there's some rogaine darling I love when that whole

family gets together and she's like mommy no and she's like but darling yes darling do you know what i would love with my tea like oh lord he's like i was hoping you would take over pump because we sure know your brother can't do it he's it's gonna be 50 years before he's even a waiter darling by the way lisa looked amazing in that scene she was wearing some jeans showing off that badanga dunk god she looks great and those little she had those on and some like little like wedges she was looking hot as f

yeah and by the way you know it's funny that you mentioned lisa rena uh appearing with rob estes um on melrose place because if you think about it at least lisa vanderpump's big claim to fame was that she was on silk stockings right so really rob don't get me started on silk stockings with mitzi capture on usx i freaking love that show do you guys still cuss or is it just me no you know uh we just haven't been incensed i just called mother's pussies yeah okay yeah you could say whatever you want ronnie's working really hard to stop saying the c word which is fun it's not working that's really the reason that's really the reason i started clutching my pearls because i was like i have a feeling that 80 of the listeners

are females and ronnie loved that c word yeah he really did listen some people earn it especially i mean i mean once orange county starts up again and we start talking about cut it's really the biggest it's the biggest pitfall. You guys do me one favor. I know I've been MIA and a lot of it has to do with the fact that, you know, I had my arms thought in half again and I've been away at work. But please have me back for the OC premiere. Absolutely. Oh, did you guys hear the gossip about OC this week?

No. I don't think it's true because they had some weird cast call sheet as their evidence, which not everybody is in the scene that day when you have a cast call. But there was something online this week about how there's only going to be five women and there aren't any newbies. And everyone's like, wow, that either means somebody got fired or somebody is a newbie or the newbies already got fired or there never were new. No, that's it's ridiculous. This last season was so good. I don't know what the ratings were, but in terms of watchability,

it was their best season in a few years. I mean, it would be ridiculous to tamper with that. I think Bravo is pretty smart. Usually, if they have a good season, they don't mess with it too much. Well, so Jeff Lewis posted, Jeff Lewis posted a photo on Instagram,

I think the other day, and he was out to dinner with Heather, uh, Tammy Sue and, uh, Shannon. So I, I think that they're also in the mix.

Obviously. Oh, gee, Vicky is there. Yeah. You can't go to the show. Is that, who's that new,

like younger brown hair girl that I don't, she can go. She's, you can't get rid of Shannon. Who is that new, like, younger brown-haired girl that I don't like? She can go. She can go, but the main thing is, as we all know, Gina Kehoe needs to be back in the mix 100% and not just friend of. Well, wasn't there rumors that she's going to be back? She's back as a friend of, I think. I think. Listen, I think right now, I think the Tinder box of Vicky, Heather, Tamara, Shannon, and I'm sure there was, it wasn't just Lizzie. Wasn't there someone else that was in the mix?

It doesn't matter. Those four, the dynamic is so messed up and great. I mean, I just, I would be furious if they messed with that. I would really love Disney to go. I've taken up watercoloring because it's hard being a mom alone. I've started watercoloring my bikini sketches. Yeah. Let me get a moment of silence for Tammy Knickerbocker. Sorry.

I just thought it was great. I just like saying Tammy Knickerbocker. Sorry. That was pretty amazing, though, when they brought her back in that 10 year special or whatever it was. She keeps she keeps the dream of Steve Perry's hair alive. OK, back to Beverly Hills. I have questions, please. Where the hell is this trailer park that Kim and Lisa Rinna met?

I know that after they had that conversation, then Kim jumps over a guardrail into traffic to then jump through a pile of leaves in a bush to go back to her meth den in like Azusa next to Shana's house. Like where were they? She was running off to the bridge to Terabithia. For a moment, I thought they were at the Lake Hollywood Reservoir, but I'm not sure, to be honest. No, I don't think that's what it was. Kim's like, all right all right listen meet me okay drive on the freeway and then get off and then get back on again and then you're gonna see a tree then get out and then listen for me i'll be making yoga sounds okay then jump over the guardrail and walk slowly towards the tree because I don't want you to hurt me. I'm afraid you're going to kill me.

Are you going to kill me? I mean, Jesus, Kim. She's like, I'm scared. I'm so scared because it's physical violence. Are you going to hurt me? She had so much moonshine in her system. If Lisa had punched her, she would not have felt it.

If anyone's in danger, it's anybody on the street while you're driving to this location bitch i do have to say one thing about kim though in that in that scene i know regardless of her hair was on fleek she looked amazing in that scene i was like kim looks fantastic her hair look good her fat i was like she looks great and and she was just speaking nonsense she was like i just want to make sure that and these are scary i just want to make sure like i'm not gonna be in danger when i meet up with you i was like you know it's a great idea to make sure you're not gonna be in danger meeting

with someone one-on-one like what else is she supposed to say in a hidden spot that the police can't even get to because they ain't gonna jump a guardrail for your ass well what i loved she's never seen a horror film like let's meet in a cabin in the woods. She's like, well, you know, I was a camper at Crystal Lake. And we always had problems at the lake. But I want to come back here because it reminded me of childhood. I was trying to get away from Renna, but my car wouldn't start. And then a black person got killed first.

I was getting stalked by Lark Borshees on Friday the 13th. It was scary. I knew Matt would appreciate that. Kim would be the worst in a horror movie. I'm in the house. Where are you? I'll find you. I love this game. One time I played this

with Cagney from Cagney and Lacey. I never found her i had a dream with diane kruger trying to kill me um she had claws and a sweater um so no so the thing was in terms of the actual scene so i loved how um lisa renna is like well you know you have to know the reason why i sent that was because you know you were what you said about harry and of course kim denies anything but then but so then lisa's like you know it upset me and kim's like i'm not here to talk about that i'm not here to talk about that and then lisa's like well i said i'm sorry so we're done kim's like you're not allowed to say we're done and

lisa's like well i need to tell you why i did that and kim's like all right we're done here i want to take that tactic into real life where people say you know ronnie you rear-ended my car the other day and i could just be like i'm not here to discuss that like i'm not going to talk about that right now uh but you you know abused my dog i don't i'm not here to talk about that okay that's for another day oh what the fuck who gets to do that we're going to talk about that. Okay. That's for another day. Oh, what the fuck? Who gets to do that? We're going to talk about it. Okay. Yeah. And I did love that. As Matt mentioned that then like once, once, once Kim stormed off, like we saw in the beginning,

we saw Lisa, we're going to pull up to a parking area and walk out and walk to this bench. And, and this bench was like, this was like some weird Ingmar Bergman meets like the godfather situation. Like I thought some shit was about to go down, but Kim just goes off on this like leafy hill and just disappears like where did she park her car I also like I also like that she's like she does not have a license yeah all of you see all of the women driving all season long except for Kim Richards there is a reason well they showed her in the first episode getting into like like, a Jag, I think, or a Mercedes, some brand-new car.

Oh, wait, didn't she... Maybe you're right. And didn't she also, like, go with Brandy in some, like, Jeep? Okay, fine. The point is this. She jumped over a guardrail, and she disappeared. And Lisa Rinna was giving great quotes

as Kim was walking off into the shadows. And it's just true. It's like Kim keeps saying, like, I didn't threaten your i didn't threaten your family and she clearly did but like why isn't anybody like screaming at her i need more screaming at kim well because it's like it's it's like screaming at like a bottle of vodka like it's not you're not gonna like it's you're not gonna get a response back that's gonna be satisfying and the funny thing is at least her manager sits there she's just sitting there

and then you can see her she's probably thinking um so are we wrapped can i go home now i thought the best part was when kim was stalking off all match like we're not gonna talk about it i'm out of here and lisa renna is like someone's gonna hold you accountable at some point kim richards and then kim stops at a tree it's like some random tree and she's she's like hey just because you're angry doesn't give you the right to send texts like that, missy. How do you think – don't you think this is super delicious for especially Rinna and maybe even Kyle a little bit? I mean Kyle is probably concerned about her sister with all the shit that's gone down in the past few weeks. But don't you think Rinna is just sitting back just going like, fuck yeah.

Absolutely. Perfect timing. past few weeks but don't you think rena is just sitting back just going like fuck yeah yeah absolutely timing and when and why is it that like kim richards is allowed to say just because you're angry doesn't give you the right to send texts like that and then at the same time at a reunion or any other time she says well i said it because i was angry i said it because i was angry it was heated in the moment so like what is it what is it kim yeah um i'm dying to know where go ahead sorry honey i was just Yeah. I'm dying to know where. Go ahead. Sorry, honey. I was just going to say, I'm dying to know what Kathy. She always says like, well, Kathy, Kathy Hilton.

And I just want to know what Kathy really thinks of all this. She probably hasn't talked to Kathy. She probably hasn't talked to Kathy in 10 years. Kim probably like reads the Kathy comic strip and thinks it's her sister talking to her. She's like, Kathy always wants chocolate. She's like, Kathy Najimy, my sister's amazing in Sister Act. My sister's a witch,

so you better be careful. She probably just gets that automatic deposit every time, and every time she goes to her Wells Fargo, she's like, ah, Kathy sent me a text. $5,000 for you. Here's your auto deposit from your sister, Kathy.

Not to take like a step backward into like episode two and three from reunion, but I really just, I just really have to say like when Kyle and Kim, I think it was a reunion episode three, when Kyle and Kim were really getting into it and you could see Kyle was fighting back the tears and she really just wanted to lash out when they were discussing the dog bite and everything. What Kyle did not say in a moment of anger that i was really hoping for is bitch don't ever forget that mauricio and i have been paying for your life for the past 20 years and you think i stole your house you think i did this you think i did that at the end of the

day bitch you would be living in a fucking dumpster if it were not for me and my husband right yeah hey your kid put her hand in my dog's mouth she tried to choke him poor guy but it's true i think that's the thing that was like you could see that all over kyle's face you could see that the sense of betrayal like i have done so much shit for you and and that's i mean that's what's fueling this the second half of the season you know she's saying i bankrolled this i've kept your secrets i have tried i have helped you i've done this and that and then you go and say that i've never been there for you and that brandy's a better friend you know i mean it's i mean that's why that's why i think the whole second half of the season has been so riveting because i think that undercurrent even though it has never been

articulated it's there and you can sense it. And it's such a real thing that it's made the second half of this season, to me, totally compelling. Yeah, it's been a fun season. Right, and I mean, Bethany was on Watch What Happens Live and Andy was asking her about that. And she said, yeah, this one really does seem the most fucked up because of the sisters' relationship. I mean, we've had relationships obviously on Jersey and stuff like that, but the true like feud and years of drama between Kim and Kyle is truly the most real thing I think that we've seen across any of these franchises.

Right. And Jersey for that, that first season when the Gorgos appeared was riveting too, because there was real shit going on between those siblings but it kind of like went its course and after a while it's like okay you guys have to this is like but also it's them it's who it is like they're idiots they yell like that probably at gas station attendance you know it's like no big deal when joe yells at theresa or theresa yells at joe because they're both. Right, and those issues stemmed from, like, you know,

Teresa felt like Melissa took her brother away from her and Joe felt like Joe was being mean to him. It was just, like, stuff that's, like, sort of, like, real but easily resolved. It was, like, one season's worth of stuff. Whereas this stuff with the Richards sisters is, like, deep shit involving, like, jealousy. You threw away my sugar cookies, Kyle. I brought sugar cookies and you threw them away.

I snorted the sprinkles. So I heard some Rinna stuff on the internet today that she was cast in some miniseries to play Chris Jenner, which should be hilarious. Oh my god. That's the best news of the year. The ultimate pimp.

She would be great. I think that would be really funny because Kyle's friends with Chris Jenner and all those bitches, like Faye Resnick and all of those guys. So I think that would be funny if there was a fight in the future. I don't appreciate you using

your Days of our lives wig for my role i loved watching lisa go to her um to her role on bound to babysitting um and it's you know i i'm i love lisa rinna i love i love her on this show i've like i've liked her off show personality and everything but i did think it was funny when she's like you know what acting is the easiest job no one else will say it but they just pamper you and was funny when she's like, you know, acting is the easiest job. No one else will say it, but they just pamper you. And I'm like, she's right. But at the same time, I'm like, but at the same time, you're also not an A-lister. This is not my left foot.

OK, Lisa. Right. I mean, it's also not. She's not. She's not in Still Alice, too. It was a lifetime. But when I was in Rain Man man now that was some work i have to admit though when they said action and they showed that like three second click

she's good she's good i love her she actually is good and i i think that lisa rena is like very i feel like i get a lot of honesty from her and i think that's what makes her likable although i know some people on our Facebook page don't like her. I can't get the dislike. I'm just pure Rinna. Not yet, but there's always season two when the bitch flower blooms. Well, exactly. And I think that they've really set it up that way.

I mean, who knows if Kim will come back? I think Bravo would have a serious issue on their hands if Kim comes back in full capacity because clearly she needs to be locked up in a padded cell. But I think that Rinna has percolated perfectly to becoming like a shitster in a good way, unlike some people that I want to talk about on New York in a few minutes. But I think that Rinna gets – she's a new person who gets involved, and I think that's good as opposed to people that are float know floaters grab a life vest like i can't handle it well um did you guys see the clip of kim on dr phil that emerged today no i'm waiting for the full episode baby basically what happens is that dr phil is kind of like you know harassing her in his usual way he's like you're drunk at the polo lounge that's not good mothering you know and then uh and then like that's a great impression apparently i've never

done a dr phil before thank you um apparently what happens is like her three kids come out and sit on the couch and she's like this is an intervention i wasn't prepared for this i don't want that and she storms out oh my god i'm not talking about no way i'm here to talk about my rolling soap dish yeah cut to her climbing over a little wall to go to her shantytown where she's funny she's like where's the freeway where's the freeway i'm hopping over it yeah i would totally by the way i would love them to greenlight a spinoff of her and Monty. Oh, God. You know, it's just, it would just be a close-up of a meth pipe and, like, some TV on in the background.

All you'd hear is some cackling. That's a good one. I forgot that one. And don't pretend that you would not be fucking riveted. Well, I'd be, I don't want to see monty okay because he's dying and the poor guy it's like a let him die in peace but also like i don't want to be feeling bad after every episode you know um but give me kim richardson like a ketchup bottle sure oh tv cancer isn't real it's on tv i still feel bad so let's move on to uh the other clips from this show that don't have anything to do with that sandpapery hack can we talk about my favorite one which obviously as a tennis superstar

i want to talk about camille's neverland ranch oh my god fucking camille how much do you think that property costs to maintain i live for her i cannot believe she's still living in that home yeah well she's been trying to sell it The house has been on the market for like 3 years At like 19 million dollars But the grounds alone must cost Half a million dollars a year to maintain I mean that's like

Those are huge I loved Lisa Vanderpump Getting all crabby because they weren't Getting down to the tennis courts fast enough She's like I didn't come here to pick pomegranates I came here to play tennis. I just love that Camille's like, yay, girls are coming over.

Let's go look at my grounds. It's like, bitch, please with that. You did not work for that. Stop it. Swallowing a few Fraser loads doesn't give you the right to have TV cameras in here again, traipsing through everything. Cut it out, Camille.

She's still an asshole. Okay, no. No, cut it out, Ronnieille. She's still an asshole. Okay, no. No, cut it out, Ronnie. You have to admit that you have to miss her. She made for great TV. No, I don't. I did miss seeing Didi

with a leaf blower, though. You know Didi and Hagrid are out there pulling weeds and shit. I love how you call the other one Hagrid. I want her back full-time. I want Malouf back full like i just i want to get back get rid of brandy brandy was only in one scene and i think it's like there's a reason for that you know brandy brandy um she's so nasty you know on her bravo blog she her most recent bravo blog

i believe i was reading it and she was like squawking about lisa vanderpump and she's like you know um like i provided her with a lead-in audience for her for her show to get like kick-started and she basically was taking credit for all of vanderpump rules is success because remember how remember the pilot because you actually showed up to do a scene with the woman who stole your husband that you've mentioned 19 times an episode how about sheena deserves some credit for giving you a fucking storyline in the first place bitch you better send her one of those fruit bouquets yeah send her send her off send her a crop top of gratitude this is what throws me off though because like i think that everyone hates brandy

her storylines are pretty much dead the fact that her boys are not allowed on the show the fact that she can't fight with leon ryan from the show like it there's nothing really there for her but she is always on watch what happens live with andy and i don't know if that's because andy thinks she makes for good tv for his personal show or if if that is foreshadowing, like, that she's always going to be in the mix somehow. But I think she's got to go. But, like, Andy, I think, has a connection with her. Andy loves the biggest bitches on his shows.

His favorite ones are the most evil ones. He likes Brandy. He likes Adriana from Real Housewives of Miami. Yeah, and he's had Jill Zarin back once or twice. You know, he doesn't care. Just because they lose their job, they'll still have them on. He'll have Kat O'Manion. Oh, I like that chick. They should bring her on.

But I think she's like out of the country or something. Yeah, they should... I think they should put Leah Black on Beverly Hills. I would be pro that. Yeah, she lives here in the summers. Yeah. Hey, guys. She's going to be on watch what happens tonight actually i'm having a purse party woohoo this purse looks like a legal pad but it holds a lipstick

just send an invoice how fun is that um so also in this episode was the wonderful amsterdam trip where yolanda went to visit her family home. I died. Yeah. Oh, look at it. So cute. Hide your mind if I come with my friends because I want to prove I was poor one time. Okay. Oh, look at your tiny little house. I can't believe I live like this. I'm taller than the house.

Oh, you're so cute. Do you eat beans a lot? We used to eat beans. She kept saying that she felt like it was important for her girlfriends to see where she grew up and how she grew up but is that like some weird code for i want them to see how rich i am now thanks to the men i sleep with or like what is that when she said that's when someone was like yolanda's come a long way i'm like yeah like physically oh again it was rinna who has like great confessionals who just kept going like, girl did it right.

She was also the one who said, thanks, Kelsey. When she went to. Yeah. I actually jotted that down in my notes, like in quotes I have written in front of me. Thanks, Kelsey, because that was the other that was the other like shiny moment. I liked when Kyle made fun of Yolanda. The fact that Yolanda knocks on the store and she's like, I am Yolanda. the other that was the other like shining moment i liked when kyle made fun of yolanda the fact that yolanda knocks on the store and she's like i'm yolanda dude like and then kyle's like is

this the way they just do it in amsterdam she's like and by the way who's the one who's kim right who was like kim's class kim was like kim was like i can't speak hollandish amsterdamese hollandish i'm like you have got to be fucking good you're in the country and you still don't know the word dutch hey i love your country but i hate your sauce it's so spicy can you do something about that i love her example of yeah i would okay she did try to attempt spanish didn't she that was like the classic that's like the classic amazing race thing you know an Race, anytime they go to a different country, everyone goes, it was like, rapido, rapido, rapido. No matter what country, they say that to the cabs. Rapido, rapido, rapido.

Yeah, Kim does not know Spanish, and that explains why her maid is always standing around with a picture frame. She's like, por favor, limpo las, the blah blah, Lena kitchen. Nothing ever gets done. And Nate doesn't listen to me. I don't know why. They make great Hollandish chicken salad. The only phrase she knows is get the cancer pills. We also saw

Yolanda looking at different houses with Maurizio turning into John Lovett at a rapid pace. Maurizio is looking a little he's looking a little skeezy with his shirt undone and his golden

pendant hanging there is just like, let's class it up there, Maurizio. You're supposed to be sexy. I love that also downsizing for her instead of living in 11,000 square feet is moving to 8,000 square feet. Right. And I love how, like, once the girls are gone, like, they need to downsize. Anwar is like, oh, no, no one really cares about how much room Anwar has.

So we're just going to go. It's like, you know, the girls have moved on. Let's keep it up for the next chapter. It's just me and David. And, you know, that boy, what's his name? Andy? Anwar has. So we're just going to go. It was like, you know, the girls have more guns. He's on for the next chapter. It's just me and David and, you know, that boy, what's his name? Andy?

Anwar? Unless he's on the side of a billboard or a bus, she doesn't give a shit about that kid. Oh, Bella. Yeah. Boy Bella.

Boy Bella. Boy Bella. Won't we miss her? Won't we miss her refrigerator? I mean, that fridge is kind of the best friend of housewives. I'm sure they'll reinstall it.

You know that every kitchen they looked at, she's going to tear up anyway. She's like, we saved $50 million on the house and spent $90 on a refrigerator for my banana. Like, what the hell's even in that fridge? It's like sparkling water and a pineapple. I do not want my fridge to have to look pretty. You should see what's in there now. It's like five-week-old eggs and some worcestershire spilled all over the place it's not cute in there by the way i have to say for the record i didn't like either the houses she

looked at oh ugly people some there's something weird about money in la maybe because it's new or people are too lazy to like just knock down house, but expensive houses here are fucking ugly. The taste level is bad. There are some nice ones, but those were not them. Not cute. Those were like some skips on Zillow, girl. Mauricio needs to step it up. Step it up, John Lovitz. Step up.

So what else happened on this? Yolanda? Yeah? Eileen was looking gorgeous going to the day. Yes. Eileen was looking gorgeous going to the day. Yes. Eileen was looking good going to the daytime Emmys. And I, again, I don't know that she brings that much to the show. I like when she would shut Kim and Brandi down a lot during the reunion.

I think that she kind of finally found her balls at that point. She didn't have them all that through the entire season. But I like that she kind of got riled up and felt that those girls were disgusting. But the only thing that we really saw her for the lost footage was looking glam for the daytime movies when she actually won. I like her.

And then Bravo also showed a lot of embarrassing footage of her from the soap operas. Oh, yeah. Find the dumbest clip you can possibly find. You know, that's, I i mean i don't know i like her but you guys think that she's necessary like what do you think yes what's your take on her eileen boring no i don't think she's boring i think she's necessary in that she is sort of the greek chorus situation she hasn't brought she hasn't

brought too much the stories but she she has like you know i hasn't brought too much to the stories, but she has like, you know, I think she added on nicely to the Kim story. And was she central to anything? Not really, but I think she is highly entertaining. I think the things she says are things that we're thinking. And she also brings that glamour that Brandy cannot bring and will never bring.

When she was saying, oh, you know, the fans of days, they get to see a different side of me. And, you know, they get to see that I'm a real person behind the screen. I'm like, no, I'd rather have Christian Demira here. I need you stealing babies from people, showing up in big fake denture teeth. Like, that's Eileen I love. I don't like this lady with some kid who can barely stand her puttering around her faux-walled house.

I don't need that. I'm okay with it because I like her little comments. And I like when she also dramatically gets disgusted by something. You know, case in point, like, did you call me a beast? How dare you? Yeah, I like that. If there's more of that. I mean, season two, you know, they usually need a warm-up season.

Well, season two, if Brandi and Kim come back, season two, she will be, you know, full-on feuding with them. I guarantee. I can't imagine Brandi or Kim. I think that she – I can't imagine Brandi or Kim coming back. But I do think that she and Renna, in watching the season for the first time, like Ronnie said, like people's personalities and actions changed dramatically between seasons, their first and their second seasons. And I think that Rinna is poised to become the star of this one,

you know, up there with Vanderpump. And I feel, cause I feel like Rinna would act, would make for great scenes with anybody that they rotate into the cast. But Eileen needs to step it up next season if she's going to get a third season. I have an important announcement. Yeah.

I'm cleaning my nails with a fork. Okay, carry on. No, I'm impressed with Rinna because a lot of – Please tell me it's disposable. Is it a whatchamacallit? Go on. Nope, it's like one from last week. I ate a salad at my desk and left the fork here.

So I'm probably getting like some tahini dressing up in my nails right now while i was i was i was imagining you uh reenacting the fork scene from little mermaid which then made me think of that made me think of what when we did our take of like adrian maloof as the little mermaid from a few weeks ago look at this world isn't it neat wouldn't you think my collection's complete wouldn't you think i'm a girl a girl who has everything a little dog walks by and shits on the marble jackpot is jackpot the crab's name is jackpot all right we're 40 minutes into this sucka so let's move on to the next show.

Or do you guys have any more Beverly Hills you need to discuss before you put in the rest of the season? My last thought on it was that I'm very happy with Lee Cervantes because a lot of celebrities, when they do reality shows, especially shows that revolve around them, they are highly scripted and they are very controlled with their image. And I feel like Lee Cervantes just sort of gave herself over to it, which is, I think, why we all like her so much in this. Yeah, exactly. And as a segue, I feel into New York. I feel like that's why I like her so much, because she reminds me so much of Bethany and she really is unfiltered and fun. Well, original Bethany. Do you still like Bethany?

Tell us the truth. I forever love her. You had a period where you were angry at Bethany for a little bit. Don't lie. Remember? I think I was angry at her because I didn't like Jason Hoppy from the get-go. And also, there was an issue at the talk show where we were trying to get tickets. You actually had a personal beef with her.

Oh, I do have a personal beef with oh i do have a personal beef with one of those like little bitches that was one of her like pr people that was supposed to secure us three seats for her talk show and i'm telling you she probably got canceled because the three of us were not in the front row that's right i agree um well people are like god there needs to be more disagreeing gays more disapproving gays in the front row i just can't watch this without that so you know where there also needs to be more disapproving gays in the front row. I just can't watch this without that. You know where there also needs to be more disapproving gays? On that horrible show that they didn't cast us on.

Oh. Yeah, those are approving gays who work out and have spray tans. God bless them. So the thing is with Bethany on her grand return, it's like I don't hate her. I feel like I'm going to fight you. I feel like I'm going to fight you.

Oh, I've missed this. I'm just just gonna be quiet over here get my nails cleaned loved her so far because i feel like she's very aware of her persona and she's sort of saying things to like to like to live up to this persona or you know it's like she's a little too bethany if that makes sense do you understand that you're You're not going to get you're not going to get her, you know, when she would be best friends with Jill and Jill's mom. And they were going off to Hampton and having a girls weekend in season one. Like that ship has sailed. So you need to be OK with it. I hate her.

I hate Bethany. Hate her. Couldn't watch her shows. I can't deal with this bitch. She's obnoxious. She's rude. She thinks she's above everybody else she won't stop talking like shut up oh really and they put them i'll talk about it because

i can't go there and then they can't come here i mean i don't understand why i can't it's like shut the fuck up and make your orange juice while you're putting out your products bitch please it used to be it used to be that she was the voice of reason on this show. And she still does have that perspective a lot of the times. But there is – I do feel like there's an undercurrent of arrogance now that makes it not as enjoyable. I'm not saying I hate her. I'm just saying the arrogance really annoys me. me you know especially because there's some people now there's some people on there now who i feel like are filling the bethany role better than bethany is currently doing oh my god i am going to fight you guys so hard right now i feel you there is nobody worse than heather she and kristin

are fucking dead weight and they need to go away just a second wait two things i wasn't saying that heather fulfilled that rule. I think it's Carol and even Dorinda. But I think that Heather used to love Heather. You were team Heather all the way. I was team Heather until the middle of her second season. And then she, I mean, I'm sorry. She's doing nothing right now but stirring the pot in a terrible way.

And I hope Bethany rakes that bitch across the board. Bethany will. Bethany will destroy her. Although Heather is like no slouch. Heather can be like, when someone comes for Heather, she does not retire away from that. No, she loves it. She goes and starts lecturing them like they're five years old. I fucking love when she's going to start doing that with Bethany.

She's like, hey, girl. You're so on fleek. It is so demeaning. And hey, mama. Anything that starts with hey, mama from her, I'm like, I'm ready to stab that bitch. Hey, mama. This is so fly, mama. I'm Audi 5000.

When they went to that Mexican luncheon, it was Luann and Bethany and Heather. And then Heather kept yammering on and on and on. And, like, you can hate Bethany all you want, even though you're crazy for doing that. When Bethany, like, snapped at her, like, yeah, we're done with this conversation, I loved it because Heather won't shut the fuck up about shit that nobody cares about.

Yeah, but why can't she just say, listen, I don't want to talk about Ramona. I'm here with you girls having lunch. That'll be fine. I've known Ramona for years. She said that seven times. No, she looks at her quietly. She should get her down in a nasty way.

I'm sorry. Like, I get it. She was right. But like in the past. I don't care. This conversation. Oh, disgusting. I can't with this.

I can't with this conversation anymore. Oh, it's disgusting. You know, and I'm bored. I'm bored right now. I'm sorry. I'm bored. But then Heather says, oh, don't shoot the messenger. I wanted Bethany to sort of shoot her. her and also you didn't bring a message so you're not the messenger

here's the thing when does heather defend herbona which is desperate for a storyline heather is desperate yeah well i'll tell you who needs the storyline is kristen because she is seeming so irrelevant right now she's like not in anything i know she's always like oh there she is walking out with her thick glasses on just waking up it's like what were you reading unless she decides unless she decides to divorce her husband she has no storyline that's all i'm gonna say yeah there are too many women on this show kristen is definitely gonna get dropped unless something happens well what's your guys take on dorinda and her disgusting boyfriend who looks like the woman who was on botched that had his face filled with cement injections? I love Dorinda. I love her.

I love her. You got to get off the phone. I mean, why? Otherwise, we don't have to come to lunch. I mean, give me the phone. I'll tell him. Listen, we're at lunch and I'm just saying it's rude. I mean, why even come to lunch? Why not just stay home? Just stay home if you're going to do that. I don't need this. I don't need this. We're eating a salad.

I love Dorinda. Love her. What's the point of dating Paul Savino if I can't even talk to him at lunch? So wait, you guys love Dorinda despite the fact that she's a racist. It's like, oh, by the way, I called you over here to help me because of your shirt color. No, because of your skin color, you racist bitch. Yeah, I don't call that racism. I call that like rich white lady ignorance.

Yeah, but you know, racism should be like, I hate black people. I think that ignorance is like, I thought the black guy was a waiter because we're in a place that's fancy. I mean, that's tacky and rude and gross, but I don't know. You got it. You got to hand it to her because when she talked about it in the confessional, rather than I mean, she did try to like squirm out of by saying it was the shirt. But rather than just being like, I love black people. She then decided to give further evidence of her being an awful person and she's like well one time one time i gave uh

five dollars to a guy in a wheelchair and he's like i'm a lawyer going to starbucks so i like that she has at least she can like admit like whoops like it's like what he was black in a dress shirt i don't know i'm not i'm not sold on i'm not sold on her yet i don't like that she's team ramona which i don't think that she will be team ramona for the long haul um no when she said i can't sit here and listen to these old bitches fight i'm like pot kettle black you are one of them. So shut the fuck up. And number two, I don't, I do not like her daughter. Well, I didn't even pay attention to her during that purse scene. I was busy.

I was like, it's a kid. It's a lady talking to her daughter who eventually is going to go to college. And then we're going to have to watch Dorinda cry about that shit with a bag of Cheetos. No. I love that there were 20 minutes devoted to this crisis because that's like, I feel like we've all been in that situation where you're invited to like two events by people who are feuding. You want to go to one more than the other. But if you don't go to the other one, then you are going to be in more shit.

And so you have to. And it's also it's also kind of rude. Like if you show up to that, when you show up to the first one, you're essentially saying, but I want to end up at the second one where I can stay for a longer time. Well, but the thing is they wanted to be at Bethany's. It's funny that they – I know. Yeah. It's funny that they started at Bethany's because what they should have done was done the Ramonas.

But Ramona would have freaked out more if they left. So by them showing up at the end of Ramona's, it was like a passive-aggressive thing. And then they were blaming Ramona and Dorinda almost like, why are you leaving so soon? I mean, we just got here. Yeah, I like that Dorinda doesn't sit around for that shit. She's like, I've been here for an hour and a half. I didn't eat. I'm leaving.

Bye. Bye, Mr. Jetson. I'm having a space cake on the way out. I don't need this. I love her. And the thing, like here's another Bethany thing. They go to Bethany's brunch. She has this lovely spread, and it's all skinny girl everywhere.

Shut up, Bethany. We get it. We know that you have skinny girl. No one cares. It's like the only reason she came back was to hawk that shit. That's why I like Carol. That's part of her contract. She can hawk it?

Yeah, but do you need to be that obvious like just being on fine you can say that all you want but then why did all those bitches walk out with 17 gift bags full of her shit i would too they're smart yeah because i mean that's why i love that's why i love carol because carol was like the place was shrink-wrapped and skinny girl like carol was sort of calling her out on it and then car Carol has the brains to then take the most expensive thing, which is the blender. It's basically like, you know, they're being called to show up at some event to get somebody else publicity. So they should be taking free shit and there should be gift bags. Like, if it's going to be a Target opening, you best give me some lipstick.

What did you think, Matt, about when Star Jones had, like, her entire wedding paid for by sponsors? about when star jones had like her entire wedding um paid for by sponsors well i think all you know all those sponsors were idiots because star jones was marrying a gay man but like the thing is that like a lot of people were like oh like that was it's like deplorable because you're basically whoring out your wedding right now this isn't a wedding but it's kind of like you know when you feel like she's basically using this as a giant promotional campaign, it's like, it's annoying. It's like, no, we're here to watch you fight. Look, I will take, as long as I have Bethany back, if that means I have to have Skinny

Girl in the back of every one of her scenes, I don't give a shit. Like, it's not that bothersome to me. And if those girls want to go to brunch at her house, they should expect it. Well, they do now. I'm sure if they show up anywhere with bethany they're gonna expect that shit i mean even thanks for inviting me to the spa i hate this bar it's disgusting but i did bring some skinny girl for the bartender okay put this behind the bar i don't brunch i don't brunch that's not that's not that's not what i do i don't i don't

like i don't like to brunch as a verb i don't like to do that as she has a giant brunch that she set out although one of our one of our listeners gosh you know our listeners are they hear every day they pick up on every little thing and one of our listeners was like was calling out bethany for like recycling her lines apparently bethany made that whole that brunch spiel she said that in a previous season yeah half of her rents don't even make sense she's like what does that mean it's like a fake handjob i mean what is that that doesn't even make sense in context of what you're talking. What are you talking about? Stop talking. I think that that girl has a really strong Adderall prescription that keeps her from eating and making any kind of sense. From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee.

What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some. As a fighter for black rights, she is a villain to others.

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by joining Wondery Plus. Hello, her brand is called Skinny Girl. She's not supposed to eat. Yeah, okay. I have no problem with starving yourself. I respect that. I mean, that's actually a goal of mine. But, you know, stop cracking out on everybody.

I feel like she's just too medicated. Well, you know what? I take back everything I said about the Brandon because, you know, she needs to get her skinny girl name out there because the poor girl is homeless, guys. She doesn't have a home, okay? Okay, that's all bullshit. I will give you that. And she admitted on Watch What Happens Live that it wasn't necessarily the best use of words. But you have to admit that Jason Hoppy does not deserve to live in that fucking, you know, gorgeous Tribeca townhouse that they built.

I agree. He does not deserve to be there. Well, he helped her build Skinny Girl. We saw in the season where she built it that he helped her every step of the way and even drove around in the car to get it put in i mean he was actually active in their relationship he deserves some money oh fine he deserves five million dollars not to live in that 20 million dollar place and if you really want to take a step back the person that helped her with the fucking logo was alex mccord oh you know that she's going to be talking that on cafe momster or whatever hi this is alex here is my recap of this week's real housewives and beverly hills girls are you excited she's

down in uh australia now actually i hope maybe she'll cross over maybe she'll appear on real housewives of melbourne oh my god but oh my god that would be the best thing i'm i'm almost sad she wasn't there on the Philippines trip because you saw the way those women's hair reacted to the humidity. And we know Alex's hair. You have a glass of water nearby and her hair is all sorts of frizzy. And you also know that no matter where Alex lives now, she's living across a really long bridge that people have to travel to to get to her.

You know, she's just like making her new life's friends a pain in the ass too. They're like, why doesn't she live in two rock like everyone else um so what else we have we have a few other meals we had the special ramona luann meal and i love that as soon as luann walks into ramona's house she goes god it's been here yeah it's been such a long time since i've been here and ramona's like initial response is oh you want to go there and then it's like flashbacks yes you gotta admit that the flashbacks are amazing when bethany had like a really bad hairline and jill was in the mix like i love these flashbacks flashbacks this looks exactly the same exactly the same i mean this this season the flashbacks have been amazing um and then they

had ramona like talking about how she's dating again she's like you know well you know i'm just renewed i'm just dating again and uh she's like you know i i had no idea i had no idea i mean mario there's something there's something wrong with him he's ill i don't know he's ill it's middle-aged crisis and you know that goes on for five years i can't be right for that like mario's weight asking her to wait around. He's like, babe, this will last five years. Just wait. She's like, oh, but our relationship was so special.

I mean, I know everybody says that about their relationship, but ours was really special, okay? It was so special. It only started going bad in the past six months. Then cut to Luann being like, it's been shitty for four years. And then they showed the great flashback of them going to like the palm reader in 2011 and then luan being a bitch and luan being the bitch that she is that i love and the confessional is like yeah we all knew it back then we all knew it i love that luan was even a bitch during this ramona's like i can't believe we just talked like real people

this was amazing luan i'm so glad to get to talk to you and luanne's like yeah we'll see we'll see about that i'm giving people over the walker you guys keep talking you know you know what i love about new york's and i i know i'm gonna be preaching to the converted because you and i both love new york the most what i love is the pedigree of great characters on the show i mean overlook it as long if you don't count like um what's her face the quag lady um what was her name um the vajazzler yeah the vajazz what's i'm blanking on her name but like it when you cindy cindy bar shop yeah when you look back on all the characters i mean when you look back at jill zarin or alex mccord or uh kelly ben simone bethany although now bethany is back if you look back this show i think more than any of the others in the

franchise has had the most colorful and interesting characters like every woman has at some point brought something like and really brought something one one hundred and ten percent agree with you i mean you can go through every other cast and pick out like the duds here and there but like you said with cindy barshop aside like this cast is and and now kristen sucks but like new york really is robust and i'm so glad you know uh the countess is back in full force we all truly believe the three of us that theess, even though she wasn't an official cast member last year, was just as big of a part as everybody else. And I'm glad that she's back in the mix. But I would like to point out a few things. And I know that you love her as much as I do, but she already has, in the first three episodes, pulled, as Bethany would say a few like slithery snaky things because those

girls used to fight oh yeah luanne's bringing a lot of bitchery to this season even her talk with ramona she's like i'm glad you feel i mean you know you've got to feel better darling but you know i saw him on tinder yeah she's like doesn't that make you mad don't you want to be mad about that do you want to cry wasn't that kind of like so what's your guys take on that is that funny because we love luann and she can get away with that or is it evil it's evil but it's funny and ramona deserves every bit of shit she gets from anybody because she's been awful never forget what alex mccord said about luann i did she's a she's a thug in a cocktail dress. Oh, yeah.

What a great quote. But that's the thing. That's what I'm talking about. I mean, Kristen actually brought a good amount of drama, like sort of annoying drama last year, but I generally liked Kristen last year. Kristen's more like a... When I think back, all I can think about is her crying, trying to run two miles in the mud. I'm not even getting into that.

I have very strong opinions about that i was actually on kristen's side during that but um i mean sure she's whining but she brought it but i think what i really like about these women is that like you know a lot of other housewives franchises there are there have been real housewives who have started fights who get in who get angry at each other whatever but with these women it's more than just that they get into fights. It's that they really have very distinct personalities. I mean, Luanne is one of a kind.

Ramona is one of a kind. Alex, whether you liked her or not, was one of a kind in her own weird way. Jill was one of a kind. Bethany, obviously. Same for Sonia. Yeah, Sonia. Even Aviva.

I mean, we hate Aviva, but Aviva was one. I mean, Carol.iva but Aviva wasn't one I mean they it's Carol you know They they are just very distinct And they're all they dress better Than everyone else by a landslide Okay so so I want to talk again about Luann being kind of evil

And this is kind of a segue into Discussing the hottest club In all of New York which the three of us need to go to Boutique Boutique means in French Old people still fuck too hottest club in all of new york which the three of us need to go to boutique boutique boutique means in french old people still fuck too spelled b-e-a-u-t-i-q-u-e um so what is your guys take on when luanne told bethany that she randomly bumped into kelly and kelly ended up being becoming part of their girls night cocktail party like is that real or is that completely fabricated i have mixed feelings on the one hand it probably would have been nice if she

gave bethany a heads up but i also think like you know what like it's who the you know what they're grown women and if luanne wants to invite kelly let her invite kelly you know and you're asking if if it was really they saw each other at the cocktail party I think it was real I think because Luann had a buzz when she showed up it seemed like she was out somewhere it wouldn't surprise me if she ran into Kelly yeah I believe it I actually believe it too and I think that like I I feel like when Bethany and her confessional says oh my god Kelly Ben like me and Kelly that's so 2000 and who cares you can't say that and then have an attitude when you are in walking into boutique you know i under

i get her attitude i actually do i don't begrudge her for having that but you can't then at the same time act like whatever you're over it you know i'm saying yeah and then just stand at the bar the whole time and not go over that was so rude oh please it was just go over and say that's the arrogance that's her closest contact in this cast coming back and i feel like luann should have at least texted her like oh shit girl she'll be there that's all she needed to do she should have but she also didn't need to you know what i'm saying like it it would have been the countess and it's good it's great makes for great tv and the producers will probably like don't do it i'm playing both sides yeah exactly like i said to her don't worry i will text bethany and let her know

that's actually probably what really happened oh yeah that's true huh the producers always lie and you know set these girls up for all sorts of situations. The most disappointing thing was that Kelly was so normal. I wanted to see more of Crazy. I was hoping that she'd still be on the map. That was like season two Kelly before she revealed her craziness. When all she would do is draw a place and go, hi guys! Yeah. Hi, my kid's 16.

Can you believe it? Wow. hi my kid's 16 can you believe it wow c is 16 yeah yeah i think bethany needs to interact more it's gonna be boring now on to the better parts oh my god those women and i love that luann knows the sex club and that there's a secret room that you go into to like hook up what the hell man they all they all knew it and i gotta tell you it gave me such delicious flashbacks to the land fucking the johnny depp pirate look-alike when they were on vacation a few years ago because guess what that girl is a freak and she does not she is single now she does not give a fuck oh yeah the whole the rumor about her that she was getting so mad about when ramona started bringing it up was that she's in an open relationship or she wasn't an open marriage and they

would bring people in and like they're, she's a sexual woman. Oh, well, she is Native American and she likes to wear her turquoise and she's down with the earth and being sexual. And I don't, I don't mind that. I just love that she and Sonia both know like the dark corner in boutique where people get their bang on yeah and i like that she went off with that guy she's like i'm going to lydia's room and like are you really she's like i don't know and she walks off she just went out there like give a blow job in the back room i was like really you guys this is like a gay bar congratulations straight people you now are as bad as we are okay you know what god bless them

because you know what luanne got a hot young guy and the guy got like a hot you know cougar and same for sonia why was why was that german model talking to sonia she is disgusting um hello hookers hookers in bars with rich old ladies what do you think that bar is made for? It's ugly old men with young women and old women with young men. That's what it is. Sonia is deluded. Sonia is crazy. Sonia lives in her own world. But one thing that Sonia is not is disgusting. She looks fantastic.

Oh, who said she's disgusting? If you're into beaks. No, Matt did. Yeah, if you're into Howard the Duck. She does have a very Howard the Duck-y kind of face. I still i mean i like her you know she looks great i think she looks great i think she's a crazy lady but i think she looks great yeah but that kid was disgusting that i'm kind of concerned that like at the brunch they were all kind of i don't know if i'm concerned or excited but that bethany feels like sonia might be her project makeover for the season because that is not going to go well.

Yeah, that's going to be a total disaster. They're all turning on Bethany. They're all going to turn on her this season. She's going to become like the villain. No, they're going to turn on Sonia. They're setting up. Well, they're setting it up. But I think like from what I've read while the season was filming, it seems like they're going to turn on her because the cast kept mentioning how all she wanted to do was show up for promotional events for herself.

Anything she wanted to do had to have a ton of her product in it. Well, the new girls are going to turn on her. I think the new girls are going to turn on her. As evidenced by the fact that Bethany says, I like these new girls. They're cool. Cool people. Very easy. Cool.

I'm like, okay, they're going to hate each other by the end of the season. And it's kind of offensive when she's like, oh, I like these girls. I mean, they're kind of nice. They're kind of normal. I mean, what the heck? Oh, thanks. Thanks for being so normal. I'm taking a blender.

It's obvious that Heather is going to have a beef with Bethany. And she has her troupe. She's going to be like, Radzi and I didn't like that. Radzi and I. Hey, Mama, what do you think about Bethany? I actually think it's going to test Carol. I mean, because Carol obviously

chimed in, was throwing a little shade at Bethany at the beginning, but I also think that she knows that Bethany is one of the stars of the show, and if Heather's on the down slope and Bethany's on the rise, I don't know if I might test Carol a bit. I don't think so, because Carol's in a unique position, almost like Lisa Rinna,

where she's got enough success going on in her life that she kind of doesn't give a fuck. So if she starts a fight— Wait, excuse me. Who has success going on in her life? Carol. She's got successful books. She's, you know, she already— Are you talking about—

Excuse me. Are you talking about Carol, who has not written a book in 100 years, and her editor was like, bitch, where the fuck is some pages? I'm sorry. I just want to say and whose new opening tagline is all i want to do is play and not work i still listen the point is carol's got i think carol's got money i don't think she well she was a princess she's got money from that i mean i don't know about personal successes but that marriage was a personal success i just don't think carol cares i think she's on this she's she just is and she enjoys this process i think she finds it to be fun and she's not going to bow down to bethany i think she i think if she sees bethany being a prima donna she's going to call bethany out and she won't care yeah but she won't fight the way to

also you're right that's probably the way to play this show like go in and not give a fucking have as much fun as you possibly can well carol also like she says some things that can that are going to get her in trouble but she also says things that are so funny that she's so unselfaware or self-unaware like when they were at that uh slutty old lady bar and she was like it's fun going out with the girls and seeing how they act it's like being at a zoo and seeing how they it's fun going out with the girls and seeing how they act. It's like being at a zoo and seeing how they act. It's like, bitch, please, you're out there dancing too. What do you think? You're like 20 years old in a bikini.

Get out of here. You do the same thing. And you're also trying to fuck some 20-year-old cook. Get out of here. Exactly. But she is fucking this 20-year-old cook, and God bless her. And I can understand why she thought it was a zoo, because the big gorilla, a.k.a. Dorinda's boyfriend, walked in.

And if it didn't smell like a farmyard before then, then it certainly did after. Oh, my God. With his like 22-year-old Russians. Oh, no, girl. That is not good. And I love that they show in the previews for next week Dorinda ripping him a new one. She's like, you better back it up, mister. You better back the fuck up or I'm going to shove it down your throat.

I was like, okay. okay now I want to check waiter come over here ma'am I don't actually work here I'm just a black gentleman walking through the house alright then could you sing something then could you dance for me then wrong stereotype I bet you taste good on pancakes.

Let's get that Mexican over there to clear this table. I'm actually dining here as well. I'm so sorry. But could you still bring me some water? I'm so sorry about that. So let's see what else here. Brunch, the apartment ambush. We already discussed all of this. Mario's not well. The psychic. Dorinda.

What did we miss? Anything from this? God, why did I take so many notes? Ramona actually looked hot as fuck when she showed up at Boutique. She looked great. I got to say. She did. I thought they all looked great. The meetings are making her look great.

I thought she looked great. I actually thought Carol looked great, too. Well, you know. Yeah. You know. Okay. Yeah, they all look great i thought she looked great i actually thought carol looked great too well you know yeah you know okay um what do you think what do you think it smelled like in in boutique ew okay it's probably smelled like ovaltine spilled vodka and urine i think it smelled like used flip-flops and egg whites. Why egg whites? It just does. I can't explain it.

It's just the way boutique smells. I think it smells like that weird powder that old ladies on the street put on. Do you know how they put on that weird? They all smell the same because they wear some weird old lady powder. I don't know what it is, but there's that definite smell. So I think it smells like that and probably like Pinot that hasn't been cleaned up from just people spilling. Everything's going to have a spill of something. I'm warning you now.

I think it smelled like a hamster cage that needs to be cleaned and macaroni balls that have been in the fryer for too long. I think it smells like wintergreen certs, blood, and wet dog. I think it smells like a pizzeria at the end of the night

mixed with a library. I think it smells like mothballs and Febreze. I think it smells like Vagisil, Windex, and yeah, Vagisol and windex i think it smells like a school bus meets a caesar salad oh good old smells like yeah i had to bring it back if Matt was here. So what do we have next? Why don't we go to Shaz? We have to talk about Shaz of Sunset and Dead Pablo in the Freezer and MJ chasing Gigi around with a dead dog. Can we start there? That's what boutique smells like, Dead Pablo in the Freezer.

And sliders. Yeah. I want to write down the lyrics to the shah's theme what are what are they it's like got a lot of girls cut a lot of checks okay you know what's funny so that the shah's theme song was a song that was on the radio for like two seconds and i loved the song i actually bought the song off of itunes and i loved it and then it came out on this show and i was like oh it sounds like it sounds like one of those songs i'm gonna take this back it sounds like one of those songs that they were asked to create in a challenge on platinum hit starring cara diaguardi and julius yes and carol would have been like oh my god that song is so what Sunset Boulevard is about. I went there with Paula Abdul in 1993.

She slept on my couch. That is a testament to the song being good because they actually turned out some good music on that show. And the poor show was just. Oh, I totally downloaded like seven songs from Platinum Hit. That is how pathetic I was. I loved that show. Walk through walls. You heard.

Walk through walls. show if you heard if you heard the full version of the shah's theme song and actually the version i have is like uh pre i think an ip claim because they sampled um we love la by randy newman and but then if you listen to that if you download it now they took out all the we love la stuff and put in like a different kind of hook so um if you heard the full thing you would agree it's a good it's a good song but like so many things in la that have been touched by the shahs it's been ruined okay you guys want to hear the lyrics yeah one for the money two for the show. Hit the Louis store right on Rodeo. YSL, the color of yayo. Passed the cup to my girl and told her to sip slow.

This my show. Watch me, baby. The way I go can't stop me, baby. Seatbelt beside me, baby. LA just drive me crazy. We could float through the city night. I'm drunk and you're looking real pretty tight. Make love.

I ain't for the fight not once we can go till we get it right oh good i'm overseas she wants sex on the beach we can share it's only fair i've got paradise on call it's it's a good song i'm telling you just trust me well it has oh my god and they even say met her at ladue and yeah this is it's definitely it's a time capsule from like 2006 um they talk about like buying lamb on mella rose it's like all that shit it's like a time capsule like for i'm sorry i'm just gonna say it's like a pablo time capsule from 2006 it's like remember when i got pablo. It's like, remember when I got Pablo and we were legit?

Wait, if you guys want to hear another thing, okay, this is another thing that will undermine me saying it's a good song. After I had downloaded this song and listened to it like a hundred times, I then did some research on this artist. I forget who it is. And the artist's manager was none other than Spencer Pratt. Oh, God. If you want to know why I didn't get it. There you't go that's why it has one star on lyrics.net but you know what though can i say something else

when heidi when heidi um came out with she had that remember heidi had her her music career and she had all these laughable songs but one of their songs i actually liked and it was a song called fashion i was like you know what this is actually a good. It's just sung by Heidi, so no one's going to take it seriously. And sure enough, guess what? It was a Lady Gaga song, and then Lady Gaga released it. And then all the gays were like, oh, my God, we love this song, Fashion. And I'm like, well, guess what? Heidi sang it first, and I was a champion of it then.

I don't care if it was a Heidi song, and I don't care if the song that I love is on Shaz. I'm sure I'm not the first person to say that Heidi is no Lady Gaga. Yeah. No, I agree. Lady Gaga did a much better version. I'm just saying that, you know, sometimes people are like, this is a terrible song and then someone else sings it. Oh, it's a great song. Heidi was probably just

walking around the house like, fashion. I love fashion. It's not just like, let's sell it. Let's sell it. Anything that comes off you, let's sell it. Put it on eBay, Heidi. Are you wearing those's sell it. Put it on eBay, Heidi. Are you wearing those shoes? Let's put them on eBay, Heidi. Oh, they're so gross.

Last I read, they were living in his parents' basement. By the way, that's actually the lyric of the song. Fashion, put it all on me. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Oh, Lord, people. So let's get into the show. It opens with Asa making herself a chickpea shake. Yeah.

Okay, can we talk about how... I know that we've talked about this from the beginning, but how does Asa live in a mansion in Venice and her parents live in a shit shack in, like, I don't even know, a recita? She's a Persian pop princess, baby. Yeah, she deserves it. She has, like, totally visualized all of this into

her life first she thought of her father's wallet and then she thought of her mother's purse and she thought real hard and it caused her hand to go into them and take enough money for a ten thousand dollar a month car in a mansion and then she projected um video images on her face and was like it's art she's like can i have this lease i need to project images of the bed I want to buy onto it. I'm going to put a plastic diamond on top of a bottle of water and sell it. Yeah, I haven't seen that at Whole Foods yet. Sorry. Yeah, certainly no black water.

I was about to say, let's see some synergy and get some black water in that diamond water. I have a feeling Asa has a deal with bravo where you know how bravo rents homes for the people on their shows while they're on the show so they don't have to use their own house i have a feeling she lives in like the guest room at her mom's apartment in east hollywood and only while she's filming does she have these huge homes in mali or it's called airbnb that's what it is airbnb yeah yeah little airbnb action telling yeah so chef benny quickly canada's airbnb you need pomegranates asa mj and reza get fit bits okay yes bits which i mean can we talk about reza's marriage and the the counselor and yeah let's just skip to that yeah go ahead you talk

because i i have a feeling look we know that the show the editors went on strike or something like that so this show was supposed to air at the end of 2014 and so we're really behind but can you guys fill me in did reza actually marry adam i think that that actually happened at the end of last year oh i don't know i don't think it has because they're setting it it has. Because they're setting it up on the show. They're setting it up on the show right now. I think Reza was just saying to the counselor, like, it's 30 days until my wedding, and I'm talking to you because I don't have sex with my boyfriend.

And it's just kind of like, is Reza going to pull the plug on Adam right before the wedding? This is a classic Bravo thing. When a character doesn't really have a story and there's like a wedding coming up, there was like, oh, I know. How about we make them their sex life be questionable? And then we don't know if the wedding's going to happen. I mean, we saw this with like Joanna Krupa and Romaine Lettuce. I mean, this is what Bravo always trots out the storyline. Like, oh, the sex isn't good. And I know I'm fat and everything. But like, I need to have some passion otherwise i don't know what i'm gonna do i don't know homeboy might cheat on homeboy it's like you'd rather look

at porn than my big fat naked hairy body it's crazy who would do that like uh maybe you need to put the footbed on and stop wondering why it would stop wondering why i'll just stop there that's enough speaking as a fat hairy person i should probably just stop there um speaking of i mean i rely on porn to get people to have sex with me i'm like hey you want to watch the golden girls and it's porn like whoops you have a boner all right let's do it just keep looking at the screen this will be quick they just need to attach a stick to reza's back with like a Twix bar dangling from it. And then he'll get into shape.

And by the way, this is coming from someone who that would work for me, too. Here's something I wanted to ask you guys as homos. When he was talking about Adam's sexual behavior on the Internet, he's like, yeah, but then when I look at his computer and there's all these files and then there's all these sites and then you type in a and then you get these sites and you know he's like looking at free balling videos free balling free balling is where you don't wear underwear and you walk around in jogging pants is that a fetish it is yeah and in fact yes it is can i tell you something the in the past two days in a row, I've totally seen guys in our neighborhood, if not free balling, they definitely had boners in their gym shorts and they were grabbing them. I couldn't even believe it.

There was a guy at the coffee shop. So totally. So Ben and I, for those of you who don't know, and new listeners, Ben and I live on the exact same street and down from like this hiking mecca called Runyon. And Ben, I am am telling you there are more mesh shorts sans underwear than ever before yeah i see a lot of dongs on runyon i mean it's fun i know it's like a thing that people do but i didn't know it was a sexual fetish it is a fetish because it's like it's i i actually think it's like very hot because it's like you know it's like all about

the power of suggestion you know good lord We're going back to the old. We've had so much porn in our lives that we're just like jerk. We're jerking out. And now we're excited about seeing lines through underwear. Well, you know, you tell me if you think this is hot. So I was at the coffee shop two days ago and there was like a straight dude and he was sort of like muscly and he was in gym shorts and he was on his phone. He was looking at his phone and I saw he was like full on grabbing his crotch. He's waiting for his coffee. I don't think he even realized he was sort of like muscly. And he was in gym shorts. And he was on his phone. He was looking at his phone. And I saw he was like full on grabbing his crotch.

He was waiting for his coffee. I don't think he even realized he was doing it. You know, it was like an involuntary thing. And he was getting a boner. So then I ordered my coffee. So I was standing near him. So I looked over. I was like, what is on his phone?

And he was fully looking at porn. He was looking at Twitter. But like he follows like porn stars. He was looking at like, it was like straight porn. It was like naked chicks. And he was getting himself aroused. And he't realize i'm like dude like he didn't realize this is why this is why i cannot live in hollywood anymore what filth filth people i'm clutching my pearls officially i will be wanting to move i want to move out because the fucking

homeless people are following me home like yeah look just because i have a dog does not mean we're best friends okay one lady yesterday was like oh, oh, I know this brown and white dog. I'm like, really? Because there's a lot of brown and white dogs. Like, don't follow me home. Get out of here. What do you think's at my house? There's hair going out of the floor.

Stop. It was Kim Richards. You can admit it. It was Kim Richards. I know that brown. It's Kingsley. It's Kingsley. All I want for Christmas is my neighborhood to be what it's supposed to be.

It's West Hollywood. It's supposed to be men grabbing their dicks. Now it's just Whole Foods employees in line at Starbucks and fucking homeless people following me home. Cut it out, homeless people and employees at Starbucks. The men grabbing their dicks are now in our neighborhood. The moral of this story is we're not surprised to hear that Adam would rather look at porn than Reza. Yes. No, I mean, who's surprised?

You marry for love and then you fuck other people. It's called a gay relationship, you idiot. Ronnie, stop saying that. It's true. I do not know one long term. And I'm saying long term, okay? I don't mean like a couple years. I mean like long term.

I've never met a long term gay couple. Well, okay, that's not true. I do know one. But all they do is fight and complain about how they never have sex. But I don't know a long term gay couple that doesn't like open it up. Well, I'm not. I am not about that personally. And if my relationship gets to a point where we have to talk about like opening it up, I think the relationship is over.

Oh, really? I get. Yeah, I agree. I'm not. Maybe that's why i'm never in one i just get bored i'm also too much of a hypochondriac i'm like i i'm like no it doesn't count if it's in the steam room ben it's very clean they've just taken a shower then they take another shower yeah it's hot enough that it kills the germs yeah i am i i. I, I, I, I'm not about that. And, uh, Ben, I'm on the same page as I'm on the same page. Well, I never have been, but these days I'll date somebody for like three dates and I'm like, uh, again, I've already seen it. Well, I think that's, that's different though.

When you meet someone that you know what connect with, you should try saying you should try saying some mesh basketball shorts let me just yeah yeah how about that why don't you why don't you come over to hollywood and look at these guys because then yesterday there was another guy on the street and this this guy is actually someone who i have ubered before he was my passenger once and uh he didn't remember who i was but he's like actually like this like tall very handsome guy and uh he meshed shorts same thing he was standing in the corner and he was like lost in his own thoughts and he had he was grabbing his dick and he got a full-on boner and i was like oh wow i was like this is crazy two days you're making me want to hike and also you walked up to him and said hey i was your uber driver no i didn't say

that i just said i recognized him oh because when you said he didn't remember me i was like oh my god please tell me you didn't go up to that guy like yeah i drove you on uber once no no because no the thing is he was uh he had just moved here from france and we had this whole conversation and he lives just um a building he lives just a building away from matt he's your neighbor so he was like oh does he live in the building with ashley from real housewives of new jersey who's my next door neighbor no the other the other direction other side okay so um uh no because at the time because we're talking about because you know obviously i was like oh well we're neighbors etc and he's like oh if i see you around the neighborhood you know i'll say hi whatever

and i've seen him like a million times since then he doesn't say hi which is fine i don't need him to say hi but that's why i know that he doesn't remember me oh he doesn't want to remember me oh man so man man don't need him so back to the the shaw's back to the shaw's of sunset let's talk more about mj and her dog the best part of that was not just that mj's dog died and she was sobbing because that was sad but that she put him in the freezer and wrapped him up and she's gonna get him like stuffed or whatever the best part for me was Gigi yeah how stupid of a person is this um wait did you get like a special kind of ice what special kind of ice is that like it's a freezer Ronnie dead people and dead dogs have to be in like sub-zero, not like...

Oh, shut up, please. A hot dog will freeze. Anything will freeze. I've got some chicken in there freezing. It's still fine the next day. Get over it. Well, I don't know why she didn't immediately take the dog, Pablo, someplace. Was it Pablo or was it Julio who died?

Because there weren't cameras there. Pablo died. Well, the funny thing to me was that when MJ said he's in the freezer, I was like, OK, now this is getting scripted. It's some silly bullshit. They're trying to be funny. And then she's like, no. And she actually brings him out. I was like, you know, a reality star when they save their dog in the freezer so they can use it for a scene on taping day.

I mean, that's sad. I know. That's fucked. I mean, I was I was also eating dinner and then I was like, they're not going to show the dog at all. That's just impossible. That's just wrong. And then she pulls back, and you see the dog's face, and I'm, like, spitting up hummus all over my face. Yeah, exactly.

Spat up Asa's hummus milkshake. Because, by the way, I do eat hummus when I watch Shaz. I mean, it's like a ritual for me. I'm just so stupid because during that first scene, I wrote down milkshake because i was like no wonder this bitch is fat she's probably one of those people who's like i'm making a healthy milkshake and it's like got chickpeas and like really high calorie stuff in it it's all organic syrup yeah you're like what is this by the way that's like chickpeas and olive oil and tahini and lemon juice and garlic what a crazy milkshake hold on this this, Ronnie. I was going,

I was on a date a few weeks ago and we were going to go to Swingers on Beverly. I'm going to sound like the Californians right now. And it was too crowded. So we were like, oh, it's late.

It's Sunday night. I don't know where to go. There's nothing open. So we ended up going to Cantor's and I'm sitting at Cantor's and in walk Asa and Reza. And by the way, in real life,

they are both humongous and they sat at the booth next to me but i was leaving before i could see what they ordered but she was wearing like a skin-tight dress and sky-high heels and i just know that there was like a double you know at least a double stack of pancakes on the way you know that they ordered pancakes and anything else made with potatoes they're like can we have a blast we'll have that can we have the latias? Can we have a blend? We'll have the Monte Cristo, please. Extra double fried deep fried. So I have to say, you know how every celebrity is really in real life tiny? They're not tiny.

So how do the cameras do it? Do you think they use different lenses on the Shaws? Because Mike looks like huge. No, Mike looks like he's three feet tall. Mike looks short to me. But facially huge. Like, his face is wide. Oh, his face is super wide.

Oh, did you also love when they brought the fifth over and Oscar was like, yeah, I'm 170 pounds. Cut to MJ and Pinkfessional going, shoot lines. Yeah. That's a little Vita coming out in MJ. Girl, your purse is 170 pounds. I thought also, you know what I didn't like? I hated that stupid scene where mike's in his office and then jessica walks in with like you know a parade of planners

i was like this could not be more scripted he's like hey honey i'm working here i guess you have no respect for that and she's like well we have to plan our wedding now i'm like oh this is so ridiculous we're all on the same page right that jess is the worst. Oh, yeah, she's awful. She's fucked up her face, too. But he deserves no better. Yeah, he's awful, too. 100% agree with you. I mean, so in this episode also was, you know, he and Reza were having lunch, and it was kind of awkward because it all goes back to the fight.

And, you know, Mike is so pissed that he feels that people took Gigi's side by not warning him. Mike is so pissed that he feels that people took Gigi's side by not warning him. And, you know, at the end of the day, I think that Mike probably tried to rape Gigi. And Gigi was probably, you know, super drunk and all this stuff. And I just think they're both disgusting. But I don't think that Reza and Asa need to keep apologizing to Mike. No, I think if anything, what I wish Reza had said was, listen, Gigi told us this thing and we were horrified. But then she also said she was going to talk to you about it. So we didn't think we had to say anything because she said she was going to like talk to you about it and instead you know she she said it in this way that was so crazy that it made

it look like they were there gossiping about it non-stop which i guess they were totally mike on this one i think he's totally right if he knows that someone's going to be saying that on camera and your best friend doesn't tell you that this is coming, that's not good. I agree with him. Jessica is driving a wedge between Mike and his friends. That's the crux.

That's not good for a relationship. You're supposed to be able to have your significant other and your friends and it should be able to work out, but she clearly dislikes them. Mike says to Re jessica thinks you're evil and reza gets offended by this and i can understand where jessica may think that these friends of mike haven't done necessarily what they should have done but like next week reza confronts jessica and i want him to nail her because he will you know if she really thinks he's disgusting

he is smart and i just think that jessica is trash and if mike is going to let jessica steal his ball you know what the two of you can go off and get married and have a fuck up horrible life well they've been fighting on twitter it's been delicious well here's here's my feeling about like reza and asa and mj's obligation to mike which is that again i think that the when when this pinky swear was first brokered, I think there was this understanding that they told Gigi, like, listen, okay, we won't say anything, but you have to go talk to Mike and confront him. And she's like, yeah, I'll do that.

She doesn't do it. So then it's bad. Then they're caught in the middle because then they look like they're taking a side when all they were doing was like, okay, we're going to stay out of it, but you've got to squash this. And now, now it looks really bad. That being said, Reza had a really good point though, with Mike,

when Mike was like, you're supposed to be my best friend. We're like brothers. And he's like, well, when was the last thing you moved to the West side? When did you, have you even invited us to your new house?

You've never invited us. Well, that's yeah. That's what I think the problem is, is that Mike dumped his friends and then they're pissed off. And so they're not, you know, Reza is not calling him and telling him whereas before maybe he would have but also mike's memory is really shaky i like that when he said man if this was a year ago we'd be sitting here

laughing i'm like actually no a year ago he was firing you from his business and calling you a lazy piece of shit on tv every chance he got. What do you think Jessica... Sorry, what? That was a word tornado. I was just saying that a year ago, Mike was also picking fights with Reza. I just want, what was your take though, like, you know, or what does Jessica

think when she's at home, because you know that they're sitting there and watching this, and they show the flashback. You know, I live for these fucking flashbacks because it calls these people out, and it was drunk gg and drunk mike in bathrobes naked being and he's leading her into his hotel room i know but that was denied that that was he says he probably says this is hey babe this is all the editing you know they're just trying to make me look bad and she probably believes it she i don't think it's bad at all he's in a bathrobe they're wasted and it's in the middle of the night and he's been flirting with her and putting his finger up her ass all night and then he says come to my room and she's like okay what exactly did she think

that he's gonna be doing in a hotel room in his fucking robe also wasn't this a trip where they were talking about his dick all night long j Jessica's going to take Mike's side because she is so invested in the idea of being a wife that she's not going to like, you know. Well, Mike's a horndog anyway. He's cheated like a zillion times. She's invested in the fact that he's paying for her life. If he's cheating on her left and right, she's not going to leave. She's not leaving him at all. Well, she's a Fuji family member.

It's easier for her to attack Gigi and blame everything on Gigi than to assign blame to Mike and jeopardize this entire marriage that she's been working so hard for. Which is exactly what happened in the past year when Ramona found out that Mario was cheating. Ramona went after the young girl that Mario was getting with as opposed to looking in the mirror and telling her husband, you're cheating on me. You're a piece of shit. You've got to go. This is so fucking typical. And, you know, this is exactly what's going to happen to them. And if she can't see the writing on the wall and if people, if her friends and family don't want to explain this to her now, it's her fucking fault. Yeah.

I mean, he's at that party uh where this fight happened he's at this like swimsuit party and he's like that one's hot that one's disgusting oh look at her face oh god oh indian women are so fucking hot i mean he's cruising the party on camera what the hell man i mean that's like marrying a mob guy you know who said that this week it was on a bravo show where they're like, it's like being married to the mob. Oh, it was on Housewives of New York I think where it's like being married to a mob guy where you just ignore things that are happening. And I think that's kind of probably what's going on here. That girl wants to ring so bad.

Yeah. And I mean – and I've said this before. I mean in a certain way Jessica is right. Like Mike's friends are all assholes. But she knew that she just they are all bad people but she knew that going in and she also has to respect the fact that they are his friends you know she can't it's like it's it's not right that she just says your friends are all and cut them out of your life like that's not really the way it should be i think with the

partnership you like you were desperate to get on tv and dated some reality guy and even became a jew for it so stop your bitching now that he's actually on it. You're not going to, we're not going to sit here and watch scenes about you tasting a fucking cake for your all white wedding, which by the way, has been done a zillion times. Okay. And you don't want a bunch of Persian spilling shit all over that white. It's going to look like a fucking Swiffer sweeper by the end of the night. Yeah.

And it's not like Mike and Jessica are going to get a spinoff like Tamara's OC wedding. So like, let's not pretend that you are enough of a personality to get that. So, Mike, if you want to go off and be with your new fiancée, kiss your, you know, cast membership on Shah's goodbye. Because if she's going to drag you away, no one's really going to miss your ass. Yeah, we got Shervin waiting in the wings, and he's much more attractive. Oh, yeah, I like Shervin. I could do without this asifa chick or asifa or whatever get out of here i did i did enjoy seeing her family i i thought her i liked

her her dad was sort of cute in this like weird way um but yeah she's really asifa's really worthless and her and her contrived relationship with bobby and they're like like oh time to like shower the dog all these that these like stupid domestic scenes of pseudo bliss babe you're shit you're you're washing the dog oh yeah you're finally doing it this is gonna work baby she's like i don't want to touch it i don't want to touch it i keep doing your chores our relationship's gonna work get the fuck out of here again well it was all just so fake everything they do do is fake. Well, let's talk about this. It's making me miss Lily. Yeah.

I do miss Lily. I like Lily. Let's talk about the most important part of this episode. Vida playing ping pong. Vida playing ping pong. Yes. Wow. That was amazing.

This week has just been tailor-made for me because I'm a ping pong champion and a tennis champion, and I got them in both Beverly Hills and in shots. Are you challenging Vida to a fight? I think you should. I 100% would. You have to admit, though, that that was the best part of the entire episode. And when MJ says, it makes me so happy to see my mom happy by beating me. Yeah.

When she's like, my mom came, came she wasn't mean she wasn't hurtful she didn't get angry i was proud of her it's like oh poor thing although if you were mj's mom you'd probably have an issue too mj what are you wearing oh my god she's wearing a spandex bodysuit leopard print with like a bejeweled belt. No. She's keeping that like world of leggings alive. Who is that blonde friend of hers that they were trying to make a character for a minute that I would not buy? And the blue leopard print spandex.

She looked fortified to be there. Were they at a theme place? They were at the Phoenix, which is a bar that has things like ping pong and games and stuff. But the Phoenix just closed, actually. It was on La Cienega, and as we all know, with the shots of sunset, once the shots of sunset... Oh my god, they're only on La Cienega. Yeah, well, and on top

of that, every place they go to closes. Yeah. Although it's fair, the Phoenix closed because of the subway coming in. They had to close it to build the subway. But still, the theory still holds up. Well, Vida playing ping pong was amazing. I love that she showed up and she's like, OMG, it's so good to see you.

Oh, your hair. Oh, your face. OMG. And then they're playing poker and she's like, I beat. I was playing poker when I was a child and I played in the school competition. And then I played it in this competition.

And then that competition and i won them all i beat all those men one by one what i loved was uh first of all vita is just crazy out of place in that bar in the first place and i like how she gets there and the waitress is like hey would you like a drink she's like can i sit down first please can i sit down like why is there so many questions that i haven't even sat down yet that was amazing and then the fact that she pulled out special ping pong shoes. Yes. Fuck out.

And she's like, all right, 16 to 2. You serve. Come on now. All right. All right. You score. Okay. 16 to 3.

17 to 3. Come on now. Come on. I was like, she, I mean, she should be coaching a gymnastics team. Oh, can you just imagine? Like she should take over for Bella Caroli. I mean, what she could have done for Carrie Strug on that vault. I know.

And she wouldn't, by the way, she would not have carried Carrie Strug afterwards. She'd be like, you walk now. Oh, no. In fact, she would demand that she be carried. Yeah. Carrie Strug with your broken ankle, you carry me. You know, well, you know who I think Vita should get romantic with? Who?

The old polygraph guy. Because he also... Oh my god, I can't believe we almost forgot to talk about the polygraph. Oh yeah, I wasn't going to forget. Oh my... Okay, that's like Matlock, but not like Matlock when he was a lawyer, but like Matlock currently, wherever the hell he is. Because you know that's how he is. He's like, yes, come in, just sit down. I don't't care just sit down he you know what the polygraph guy looked like he looked like

that um that old guy with a beard who was on that strange canadian x-files type show do you know which one i'm talking about matt it's called like it's called like da vinci's something another oh da vinci's code no no it was or like it was there was like a show that was in syndication that originated in canada and it was like this old guy with a beard who was like solving mysteries well yeah okay he looks like any old person like any really really old my my looks like anybody father dowling mysteries say it again matt I just like Father Dowling Mysteries. That was my mystery show up show. Oh, my God. Father Dowling.

With Sister Steve? Come on. Yeah, that was a murder she wrote kind of a guy. So I felt like I was cheating if I watched Father Dowling. I was a diagnosis murder sort of guy. Also, I don't want preachers or priests like solving things. Like I'm telling you things in the confessional. I don't want you out there on Google trying to figure shit out.

How about you just stay there and be quiet, preacher? Yeah. So, yes. Okay, so this lie detector test, first of all, stupid. Second of all, you could just buy a lie detector test like going to the doctor really and third of all i love that gg the test was inconclusive because she lied and not because she lied quietly because she lied out loud and then she's like what happened and he's like you lied out loud and she lied on the stupidest thing they were like have you ever lied between the ages of 17 to 30 have you ever lied

and she's like no i'm come on now i just want to slap her you're so stupid this is you're supposed to be telling you're trying to prove to people that you're telling the truth and then you do that on the control question so we can't even get a good read oh my god and she was so obviously lying about every question because you can tell when she's lying because she's like i want to do it with her she's like nope nope not that nope nope no to that no definite no and he was friendly honestly he was friendly at first and then she's like well i want to do it again she's like well he's like well you well you can't she's like no well i i'm not leaving here till i get mad and he's like all right this is done enough get away and she's like and he just starts he just starts

packing up and he's just becomes he's just he wasn't nasty he just was like doing what everyone in america would do she's like shut the fuck up i'm getting out of here yeah and when mj is like okay thank you like just go okay then all right just get out ladies but i also liked mj behind the the mirror watching it because that's allowed too i mean what the hell and she's rooting for things she's rooting for questions she's like oh no no no no don't lie on that one don't lie on that one you've never lied please what a stupid stupid stupid person but this show my god this show's been really funny lately it has been so good i truly like it's up there it's up there with gallery girls i'm not gonna lie well no well now you're really talking seriously what about can we touch on southern charm for a little bit oh i was just gonna cut us off and say because we've run so long we'll

talk about southern charm next week but if you have some stuff to say go for it buddy i watched it um i don't really remember what happened on the episode. Just that Shep... I'm not Shep. Craig is continuing to drink and be ridiculous. And Shep... Wait, what happened? There was a ball. Yeah, we'll talk about it next week. We've gone a long time, didn't we? There was some good shit. I'll save my notes

from next week because Cooper is throwing his own ball because he doesn't have the pedigree to get into the real ball. So he's throwing his own, which is which is hilarious yeah and there was like some uh katherine getting drunk and then they're trying to build up like this katherine craig thing and then t-rap oh there was the the campaign manager sandy duncan getting into uh a fight with whitney complete with glass eye yeah my favorite part was when whit Whitney was trying to be like a young bro with Shep. And he's like, all right, dude, just playing my guitar.

I'm going to go check out some internet porn now. I was like, girl, you're going to be doing the helicopter in there for like an hour and a half. Who are you kidding? Yeah, exactly. And I like Shep is like, well, I hope I don't wind up like Whitney when I'm 47. Whitney's like, I'm going to get the'm going to get the old Rena band back together. Yeah, no,

we'll get back to Southern charm next week. We don't have a guest that is titillating our brains like you did today, Matthew. It's been lovely having you. Well, thank you guys. Thank you so much for having me. Hopefully I can make another appearance with better uh technical

help so i don't have to be this weird colin dude um before either shaz or before shaz or new york and their seasons but uh i know that the uh and the volume is is annoying for listeners because your volume is going to be lower than ours and i'm really sorry about that but it was worth it to have our little Maddie back home. Yeah, and anyone who's annoyed by the volume has probably already turned off the podcast by now. It's like too late for an apology. This is like all the people who were listening to – so when you listen to like the For Crying Out Loud podcast, it's like polished and professional and sounds great. And then they're going to come over here and it's like the clampets or something or something it's like listening to your friends on the phone but that's what it is and also um the for crying

out loud podcast they actually have to go to a place and see each other and do it every week i don't know about that well we will know about it because we're gonna be on the podcast next week i know we're gonna be at that place we did this twice a week and we had to like actually show up somewhere and like take a shower and put on clothes we're the laziest motherfuckers because we live a mile apart um and on top of that we are going to be seeing each other in t minus like two and a half hours when you come over here for holy shit oh yeah in three hours oh no two in two hours because we got to get two and a half set up no we got to get that set set up. Two and a half hours. 545, I'll be there.

I've got to go to the gym and take a shower. See some free balling, baby. Yeah, I was just going to say, don't forget your white mesh shorts. I will not. I was going to do some laundry today, but I don't think I have time for that. Anybody who is going... Ben, are you LA Fitness on Hollywood? Because I just joined.

Yeah. Matthew, I totally thought of you as an Equinox kind of a boy. Now, Matt, I'm there, and I will point out to you your neighbor, your hunky neighbor who gets boners on the street. Done and done. I look forward to seeing you in the non-steam room. Oh, please. I don't think they have a steam room there.

That's why I don't go there. Matt, and if you would like a train ride. I've actually been too scared to go into the locker room at all. I just run to my treadmill and then I leave because I can't go there. It's too scary. Oh, Lord, you're thin. What's the point of getting thin if you're not going to be naked around other people in locker rooms? I mean, that's the only reason I try and get thin.

Oh, my God. You're just like my gay therapist, like that rep I have. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you should you have everything. Some girl the other day I met in the line at Starbucks was like, she said, why is life always so difficult? I said, what's difficult? You're like 22. You're gorgeous. You own the town. OK, that's all you need here. You're gorgeous. You're thin and you're young. You're complaining to me. And she's like, thanks, mom. Like, like well you should send her to shut up mountain listen to your mother okay everybody um thank you so much for being here this was an amazing epic hour and 45 minute podcast thank you very much thank you to matt whitfield if you guys want to find matt you can search life on the m list m like matt list anywhere on the M-List, M like Matt List, anywhere on the internet.

He's on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, other things. You can find Ben and I's. So, my's. Ben and my's? I need English. But you can find our links at WatchWhatCrappens.com. Come to Facebook.com slash WatchWhatCrappens to talk to other listeners and us. And support us on Patreon, guys. It's fun.

And thank you so much for everybody who's supported us. It's been amazing. And thanks to all the new listeners. I mean, we are now on iTunes. Last week's episode got up to number 42 in the Entertainment Podcast. Wow, that's great. And next week we're on For Crying Out Loud. So our listeners, be sure to check that out next week because we are going to be doing an hour with those ladies and it's going to be really fun.

Seeps fun. But not as fun as me, but that's fine. No, they're nice. They're not. They're not. They don't have your evil undercurrent, Matthew. Yeah. So just checking.

Just checking to love. They don't. They don't, they don't steal dresses from sample sales. All right, everybody. Thanks so much. We will see you next time. Love you,

Matt. Bye guys. Bye Matt. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the sideshow network have launched a new youtube channel called wait for it it's got interviews with comedians like reggie watts todd glass liza slicinger slicing driving friends with her for 10 years one of the funniest people

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