Watch What Crappens - #182: Unsweet Charity
Episode Date: May 7, 2015Ronnie Karam (trashtalktv.com) and Ben Mandelker (The Banter Blender podcast) take Nene Leakes to task for welching on her charitable pledge, and that's just the beginning of this super-sized... episode. There's plenty of chatter about the "Real Housewives of Atlanta" reunion, shoe controversies in "Melbourne," and Arzo on "Blood, Sweat, and Heels." It's intense! You can donate to us at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens And remember to like us on Facebook: http://facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens And here's some other stuff: Our Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/watch-what-crappens On iTunes: https://bit.ly/crappens Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens Ronnie on the Web: http://www.trashtalktv.com Ronnie on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/trashtalkteevee Ronnie on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/trashtalktv Ben on the Web: http://www.bsideblog.com Ben on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/bsideblog Ben on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/bsideblog See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens?
Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo.
We just love to watch.
I'm Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com and The Banter Blender.
And believe it or not, there's a new episode of the banter blender up um joining me this week is my trusty avengers cohort the uh the thor to my iron man or maybe i'm the thor to his iron man who knows it's ronnie carom from trash talk tv no i'm the
red one i'm the confusing flesh bot that no oh can understand. Oh, you're the vision. You're the vision to...
So one of us is...
Does that mean one of us is Ultron?
People are like, why was he created again?
You're the yellow AI and I'm the blue AI.
I'd settle for regular old I at some point.
Yeah.
If you're in my life, I'll achieve that.
And I'm just A.
I'm A all the way through um
for those of you who have no idea what the hell we're talking about we're talking about avengers
and we just uh recorded our bonus episode for the week and we spent nearly an hour talking about
the latest avengers movie we we kind of like gave it the watch our crap and treatment we tore it
apart so if you watch that movie,
if you're one of the millions of people who watched it this weekend,
we highly encourage you to go listen to our bonus episode because we had a
really fun time.
I'm actually still laughing about it.
And if you're mad because you don't know what's going on and you're
wasting your money on Patreon,
that's how we felt when we were watching The Avengers.
We've got that in common.
So if you do want to listen to that episode,
that episode is a bonus episode. It's available
to people, to our supporters on Patreon.
Patreon.com forward slash Watch What Crappens.
And we thank everyone who supports us there.
You can also
follow us on Facebook.
Facebook.com forward slash Watch What
Crappens. We have a really fun
active Facebook group there.
Gotta give a shout out by
the way to the lovely ladies of um for crying out before crying out loud podcast who had us on
two episodes in a row oh yeah that's today our second one is today we talked about transgendered
children and i don't know they listed it in the description i thought we talked about all of those
things that's a lot of deep shit.
Transgenderism, basically the last month
of this show, but with other people talking to us.
Yeah, with the four of us together, it was basically like
the podcast version of the Avengers.
We destroyed
several buildings with our banter.
So
thank you, ladies, for
having us on. And if you are new to this podcast
because you heard about us from that, like we say, welcome.
We hope you enjoy it.
Yeah, welcome, everybody.
They have great listeners over there.
And welcome to the family.
It's really good to see you on the Facebook page talking and stuff.
Also, I want to give a shout out to these two ladies.
Okay.
These people have been tweeting us like, hey, we gave you a shout out.
And I was like, whatever.
I didn't even think twice of it because I just figured it was someone wanting a plug.
And I'm like, what does a plug from me get?
Nothing.
Classic Ultron.
I just kind of ignored it.
But then I was sitting here after smoking a marijuana cigarette one day.
And I actually clicked on the link because I thought, well, that'll be fun to listen to something new because I love me some podcasts.
Okay.
It is these two women in Georgia.
And it sounds from listening to them, I'm thinking they're like deep in the country and their husbands work far away and there's no one else around.
And they became friends.
Like, that's how I'm imagining it in my head.
I don't know if that's true or not.
Anyway, K-Mac and oh, God, what's the other one?
Anyway, Real Housewives of the OTP.
Okay. oh god what's the other one's name anyway real housewives of the otp okay these ladies basically it's another real housewives podcast which you know i don't need to listen to more housewives
i've got enough of that in my life so i thought i would just turn it off but these ladies are so
funny they're just these girls okay this is their podcast girl one of them says girl she's like girl what you doing today girl let me tell you what i did today
what i went to tj maxx i love tj maxx me too girl girl i got me a mattress topper and she's like
really she's like girl a mattress topper you've never I mean, this thing is amazing. And the other one's like, well, we have a
Tempur-Pedic mattress, and I
love it. But the thing about
it is I love those
warm blankets
that you cuddle up with, electric blankets,
and you can't use that on a Tempur-Pedic.
And she's like, girl, really?
I fell in love
with these girls. I listened to the whole
thing. So, guys, listen listen to that if you want to laugh
Real Housewives of the OTP and thank you guys
for supporting us
and please keep talking
about your mattresses and they were like
making fresh drinks in their house
I thought I want to live like this
I want to sit in the country and talk about my mattress
and have a friend who's always like
girl
you should put a link
on our Facebook page so people can find them easily.
Yeah, it's just The Real Housewives of OTP.
So look that up on iTunes in case I forget, which I probably will.
But anyway, thanks, girls.
You guys are really funny and you're doing a great job.
Yeah, we really love all the support we've been getting recently.
And on today's episode, we're going
to talk about Real Housewives of Atlanta. We're going to talk about Blood, Sweat, and
Heals. We'll talk about Real Housewives of Melbourne. Maybe not necessarily in that order,
but we'll talk about that stuff. Also, on Thursday's episode, unless any scheduling
things happen, Michelle Collins is going to join us, which is very exciting. She's fresh
off co-hosting The View.
I'm so excited to talk to her.
I haven't talked to her since she's become, like, real famous.
I knew her when she was kind of famous, but now she's, like, real-life famous.
For those of you who don't know who Michelle Collins is,
she's, like, the funniest person that I know, for sure.
Funnier than Ronnie.
She's great.
She's so funny.
I just sit here and listen to her the whole time. I'm not even going to have to talk.
Yeah, so that's something to look forward
to. And then we may have some other
exciting guests coming up.
Yes, but I don't trust it
anymore, so I'm just going to wait.
Yeah, we don't...
That's what I'm not saying.
We're going to have someone really big here
and it's going to be amazing.
So we'll see that when we get to it but that's
enough plugging uh i think so stuff let's talk about some shows girl oh yes um so where which
one do you want to start with ron oh my goodness i was a note machine this week i cannot stop
writing notes so whatever it is watch out because i got a lot to say well why don't we start with
atlanta that's our that's the biggest one of the week right
yes okay Blood Sweat and
Heals I think I watched Atlanta after
that I have to figure
out how to turn these notebooks where
you just turn it over instead of turning
the page because I can never tell which
page is before the other one does that make sense
right yeah I do I just keep turning over
the notebook and I'm like wait I was just on this page
when I turn it but I've gone backwards a week
notebooks, difficult
yes
so let's start with Atlanta
yes
I think that the reunion
just kind of
the second episode
it just was firing right out of the gate
because it started off with Andy being like
oh you know I just had
a memory to last year's reunion
and Nini and
Kenya you guys
had like a bet you were going to donate
to a charity did you guys do that
and Kenya's like yes I wrote a check
to the Detroit Public School whatever it was
and then Andy's like oh
and Nini did you donate and she's like
I will when I am ready.
Yeah, I will when I'm ready.
And she goes, that check that Kenya wrote,
I mean, who posts a check on social media?
Like, that was real.
Well, it's still a check.
She was posting it to show that you didn't post yours,
you dumb dumb.
I'm not going to stand up for Kenya, but.
Yeah, exactly.
I'm not going to make a mockery out of charity by donating money just because Kenya put something on social media.
I'm not going to make a mockery of charity.
Suddenly Nini has these like these somehow standards and modesty.
She's moralistic for not giving money to charity.
I love it.
She's like, I've got the morals here.
I didn't give money to that charity.
Well, you sure showed her, Nene.
You go, girl.
Yeah, girl, by the way, donating to charity and bragging about it is like as old as charity itself.
Why do you think there's like a list of donors on every single charity thing?
Why do you think there's lists of patrons?
It's because people want credit for donating to charity.
So whether it's on social media or on the back of a program or a name on a building, that's what you do.
Your little – what do they call those things at Irish time?
They're like the Irish leaf.
What is it?
Oh, your cardboard four-leaf clover up at Ross Dress for Less for giving a dollar.
I've got five of those.
Yeah.
I mean seriously.
The truth is that if Kenya did not put the thing on social media, people would think that she's lying.
Also, if I didn't put that up, people wouldn't believe that i donated to people now people are in line at ross like ronnie he did it he did it for the children i just i i just i just
can't believe like nini is now an advocate for modesty when it comes to anything like nini the
one who yells i'm rich bitch i'm now all of a sudden she's like,
no, that's just, I don't like to brag about my wealth.
The new charity giving nothing
and bragging about it on TV.
I know.
When she's ready...
I'm not giving to those children.
What does she have to be ready for?
I mean, like, what?
Does she have to, like,
get into some sort of fugue state
to be able to donate?
But I also love that Kenya is such an asshole, too.
I mean, you cannot choose sides
between those two because kenya's just off i mean she's a horrible human being when they show back
her clips and then the things she said during this one she's just really rock bottom that girl
but this is hilarious because it's both of them being their true selves i mean their true selves
were completely on display in this you've got nene on one side bragging about not giving money and then just going, oh, I must not have any money.
I'm poor. I'm poor.
She just keeps yelling, oh, I must be so poor.
Yeah, I'm poor.
I'm worried about $20,000 because I'm poor.
And then you've got Kenya, on the other hand, with her Miss, you know, America or whatever, going, Nene, this is an important platform.
It's for the children of Detroit.
And it's important that we all come together
to support the children of Detroit.
That's what I love about Kenya,
because she's like the biggest bullshit artist.
If there's anyone who can get that violin playing,
she's like, I just thought that if Nini would donate to charity, I thought that
would just, like, sort of solve all
the problems, but I guess she didn't see
it that way, so, oh well.
Have you seen pictures
of Detroit since you didn't give that money?
It is in dish repair!
You know, Kenya should
have been Ultron in Avengers. She was like,
I just thought you wanted to elevate
humanity and evolve humanity to protect was like, I just thought you wanted to elevate humanity and evolve humanity
to protect the world, but I guess you
just don't want to destroy humans. Okay,
that's fine.
So, then we moved on to
Cynthia's big change this
year, because Cynthia has a voice now,
and she's blah, blah, blah, and they,
to prove it, they showed a clip of Kenya going,
Oh, look at you! You're so different! What's different about you? I like you now! Because she's blah blah blah and they to prove it they showed a clip of kenya going oh look at you
you're so different what's different about you i like you now because she's a cunt now that's
the different it's not a new wig it's a new cuntiness okay that is what you guys twice in a
row i'm sorry i didn't even feel it coming on i was waiting i was waiting during in my stomach
and then it comes out and i regret it but. But I don't even feel that coming.
I need to get some manners.
Sounds like you just had a training session at Cut Fitness.
I said Cut Fitness.
The cuttiest fitness of all.
All the biggest cuts of Orange County go to Cut Fitness.
You're going to come into Cut Fitness, but then you're going to see that all of those
shells aren't stocked with towels, and the end is going to come into cut fitness, but then you're going to see that all of those shelves aren't stocked with towels.
And you're going to, the N is going to light up on the neon sign.
N as in, the N stands for nothing on the shelves.
Okay, so then we went into Cynthia's big change.
Cynthia's big change.
I'm sorry.
I'm still laughing that we're continuing to make jokes about Tamara's empty shelves at her fitness studio like a year later.
And we are still just as delighted.
We're like, ha, got her again over those empty shelves. It's just so funny that that's like a Real Housewives storyline.
Like, what am I going to talk about this week?
I can't talk about my kids and no one's in town to start a fight with i'm gonna get mad at my son about stocking the shelves no it was that he
the son wanted to put stuff on the shelves and eddie's like no i don't like merchandising the
shelves it looks too cluttered it's like you idiot what are the shelves there for
oh good the cell shelves the new storyline on real housewives i really hope the camera got re-signed guys
oh my goodness so anyway sorry so kenya's big change okay this was funny to me because mostly
i took notes on it and i still don't even know what this segment was about because cynthia really
didn't do anything the whole season except be a bitch anyway yeah so i don't i mean i guess
the good part was nini's response when andy said do
you think she's changed and then he said no she always had a voice everyone says she didn't always
have a voice but she's always been a bitch she was just doing it more quietly around everybody else
yeah it was good answer it was it was good well but she didn't say a bit she just was but but she
basically meant basically yeah yeah she basically was like no people just always she did it and the
same time she victimized herself she's's like, people just come after me.
I don't know why, but Cynthia's always had a voice.
Oh, good.
And then it cut back to my favorite clip of the season.
Peter, are you telling me that Phaedra's been having an affair
with a stripper named Chocolate?
God.
Will you say that every day when I wake up?
I need to make that my new thing. Yeah, that's day when I wake up.
I need to make that my new thing. Yeah, that's true.
I think that is one of the ringers, actually.
So where?
I forgot what I was talking about.
Nothing.
So, I don't know.
At one point, like, Nini and Cynthia start to fight.
And I just have it written down.
I guess that Nini made fun of the Bailey agency.
And then Cynthia's like, honey, I am making dreams come true for these girls.
Oh, God.
For a small price.
I'm telling knock-kneed fat girls that they have a chance.
Okay?
Isn't that worth something?
Yeah.
She's like, I am teaching girls how to be waitresses at the Wabba Grill.
When...
Peter's broop.
So when...
Yeah, Peter's broop. So when, right before this happened,
Phaedra and Cynthia went off
because one of Cynthia's bitchy things
was that she started all this chocolate stuff,
which of course, Cynthia didn't do anything.
She just brought the story to Phaedra to be nice
because her husband was talking about it on camera.
And then she talked about it with all the girls on camera
and then showed all this evidence on camera.
I didn't do any.
That wasn't me.
I was just talking about the thing.
But when Phaedra kind of explained her situation, I mean, I like Phaedra anyway.
But Phaedra is a shady, fady bitch.
She is.
Let's face it.
But I still like her.
And I felt bad during this part part even though i know she's shady
because she does have a point when she said here i come i'm coming to this dinner with these women
the night before my husband is on the lam coming at with a drill or whatever i think she said that
later but anyway she gets in a fight with cynthia and then kenya of course tries to make her own
fight and she's like you've always made fun of me for not having a husband.
Well, look, now where's yours?
You don't have one either.
Oh, God.
Really?
You're wanting her to be so sensitive about Apollo going to jail, but now you're using it as a lame put down on a show.
Come on, guys.
Yeah, exactly.
I did enjoy, though, when Cynthia was coming at Phaedra, and she's like, win a case.
Win a case.
That was good. That was her one line that she planned
like five days ago yeah because she said
it 20 times win a case yeah win a
case yeah how does she know what Phaedra
has won or not won we saw Phaedra
take a suitcase of cash
from a drug dealer in a parking
lot of a TJ Maxx okay if that's
not winning I don't know what it is yeah
I forgot about that yeah Phaedra was's not some promise check that was not your husband taking money out your account and
figuring out all of your numbers because they're all one two three four or two three four five or
five five four four you know it's not it's it's something more grounded than your husband stealing
from you okay we actually saw the woman with a suitcase of cash so i wish phadra would just
grow a pair and say you get your suitcase of cash, so I wish Phaedra would just grow a pair and say,
you get your suitcase of cash and then come talk to me, bitch.
Yeah, seriously.
Then,
you know, the thing is, I could barely follow
the back and forth between Cynthia
and Phaedra and all that. To me, it was sort of like
the same thing over and over and over.
So good. The best, my favorite part
of the, I keep saying my favorite part, but let's,
I mean, they're all my favorite parts. I love Atlanta. Yeah. But, my other favorite part of it, I keep saying my favorite part, but let's, I mean, they're all my favorite parts. I love Atlanta.
Yeah.
But my other favorite part in this was when Phaedra goes, oh, really?
How many jobs have you got?
And then they're like, oh, I have jobs.
Oh, really?
How many?
Because I have, you know, I have a funeral home.
I'm a lawyer.
They start listing all their jobs.
It was like that in Living color thing that jamaican
family it's like how many jobs you got i got 10 job oh he only got nine job lazy lazy one in the
family isn't that like isn't that like bragging about who has the worst career it's like it's
like okay like normally i think probably one would imagine that if you have like one job that's really
good you don't need to get other jobs ideally right that if you have like one job, that's really good.
You don't need to get other jobs, ideally, right?
I'm pulling pieces together from 10 different jobs because I can't just one.
It's like right now I have several jobs that I have, and that's like – it's like not good.
It's like I want to cut the jobs down.
I want to have one job that earns me enough money that I don't need to pick up other jobs.
Yeah, only women on housewives shows brag about how many jobs they have because none of them are real.
Yeah, exactly.
I love when Andy brings up the plus-size model.
Andy was very shady in this.
He was hiding behind his cards.
I'm loving shady Andy because he used to avoid all of these difficult questions and try and trick other people into asking them and he's asking them and i like that um but he said what about that plus size model
comment and then they show phaedra saying well i'm very upset with cynthia for acting like this
i used to really like her my mother would even order clothes from the plus size model catalog
or the plus size catalog and then phaedra's like well she wasn't a plus size catalog i wasn't
being mean my mother really did order clothes from the plus size catalog and cynthia is so stupid
you know her whole plan is just to be mean and argue with everything and that's her thing the
whole season like none of her arguments make any sense you know she's not even involved in any of
the arguments so she this is her argument she's like well you know to even say that to even say
that i mean you have to be a size eight to be a plus size model okay and i used to do well actually
you know i did do some plus size modeling and thank you thank your mother tell your mother thank
you what are you even saying cynthia do you even know why you're mad shut the fuck up you're at
least your ass is
at least a size eight so stop she's so scattered she sounds like she probably had like one too
many cups of peter's brew just a little bit a little bit too much folgers for too many folgers
crystals and ask next cafe here whatever i found in the trash from yesterday there was some coffee
grounds and a peppermint that i spit out it's a a blend of Folgers Crystals and Maxwell House
and A&P Generic Coffee Brand.
And a shredded
receipt from the ATM.
Did I tell you about that?
We have a
tough year. Our Mr. Coffee broke.
So we have some inventory we have
to take care of. Some overhead.
Got some overhead.
I found
a stack of filters
under the highway next to bar one so uh it's a boon for peter's brew
uh um peter peter's brew i'm looking at my notes sorry i'm just trying to figure out where we are
it's okay i can't happens on this show it's's like, what fight are we in? What fight are we in now?
Now who is versus who?
Yeah.
I'm like, it's okay.
I can make some jokes about Coffee Mate if you want.
We got our own artisanal Coffee Mate here.
It's purchased from ShopRite.
I took the hazelnut creamer from Batuu.
Yeah.
So I went to a diner and took a whole bunch of little creamer packets.
So we're going to do okay for 2014, 2015.
Peter.
Peter's boobs.
Candy's face during the montage.
Okay, so then they showed a montage of how Nini and Phaedra are now friends.
And one of the scenes they showed was Phaedra trying to be all breakdown-y and emotional while Nini's sitting across from her in her Bride of Frankenstein wig nodding her head.
Yes.
And Phaedra's saying, it doesn't matter who's your friends in the good time.
It's who's your friends in the bad time that really counts.
And Nini's nodding her head.
And I just thought that was the funniest
thing because then they show a picture of
Candy sitting there in the reunion
with this stank face.
Yeah. Like, ew.
She's like, see? I love Candy.
Phaedra.
This turns into the Candy
and Phaedra fight, which isn't a fight
because Phaedra sits there silent because she's like, it hurts my feelings.
And then Candy starts sobbing and Candy cannot fake it.
She cannot be a bitch on TV.
She can just display her real feelings.
And it sounded like it sounded like bad AM radio, like you're like you're just driving out of the reception area.
She's like, no, you know know yeah yeah like it's fine like you
know what like i had a play and the play was closing and i had to tell all those people that
they're fired and i was like see now i have a road to do and like i wasn't even trying to be like that
but that's okay
is that straw coming in and out of the Starbucks cup
yeah
see
now Phaedra's like
I don't know but you can never
reach out to me
anytime
I am my own thing
going on
so Phaedra stayed silent at least for that part and then Andy brings up Sharae and Kim and he's
like well you've had fights before on the show I mean Sharae Kim and then he's like well listen
here's the difference back in those days the golden days which were like two years ago she's
like those women had limitations they wouldn't say i was like first of all you're saying those women had limits limitations is a whole different word like
no i think she meant they have i took it as well of course i'm attributing good english to her but
i was thinking that she was saying the producers put limitations on them like they weren't allowed
to go after each other like they are now that's how i took it no no that's too
that's too thinking no she just she confused limits with limitations and i was thinking i
didn't even write that down i was like you know i'd like it so it's like it's so like bloggy and
to be like oh she said limitations instead of limits but i'm like you know what i'm not even
gonna let me need to have that i'm not gonna give me i'm gonna come down on her for everything that she deserves to be come down on you know
you know what she's not she's not even willing to give money to detroit because of some because
she probably doesn't have it and because of some stupid pride thing i'm gonna come down on her for
using limitations incorrectly i mean of course i've used words incorrectly many many times but
that's okay i'm allowed to be constantly yeah but um yeah with meanie it's annoying because she's trying
to sound so smart all the time and she's not and but also that other thing about cutting the check
for detroit um one thing that made me worried about that was taxes because i don't know if
meanie's paying her taxes because most rich people want to give to charity because they need the
write-off to pay less taxes right right what the fuck meaning you paying your taxes she's you know what listen you
heard it here first greg leaks greg leaks is not the model of like financial um wisdom you know i
i don't know if you remember but season one of atlanta after season one was done all this news
came out about greg leaks and how he was like this shady landlord.
And there were all these like crazy things that came out about him.
And his image has been sort of like rebranded as like the purse carrier, like this sort of like happy-go-lucky stupid purse carrying guy.
But he is like a shady motherfucker and he doesn't know what he's doing with money.
And so I would not be surprised if they're not paying taxes, etc.
And by the way, I would bring
Bravo, as soon as
Nini said, if I saw Sheree
at the gas station, I would just say hi, and that's it.
I'm like, okay, you have to
bring Sheree back onto this show.
You have to, have to, have to.
Oh, please let them bring Sheree back.
Why? Why would they not?
I know that she can't build Chateau Sheree anymore.
I get it.
You know, I'll leave her alone for that.
But at least give her enough money
to get her son off that mattress on the floor.
I know. Please.
Get a bed.
Please.
That's still what I worry about with Sheree.
Every time I think of that,
I think of that small apartment
and then that kid sleeping on the floor
and then that fight she had with her big stupid husband
who's like that
big gigantic kind of pinhead guy yeah bob woodfield yeah oh no i thought oh god i just feel bad for
charie yeah no she ayana could not fix her life she couldn't do it ayana's not a miracle worker
people they've got they've got to bring her back and they need to like I hate that Bravo
is giving Nene all this power
if the rumors are true that they don't bring back Sheree
because Nene is there
it's not right, no one cares about Nene
this show is not
I know Nene has her fans but if she leaves the show
the show is not dead
oh and Nene saying that these women
had their limits or their limitations
Sheree was chasing you out of a restaurant Oh, and Nene saying that these women had their limits or their limitations.
Sharae was chasing you out of a restaurant, pulling on Kim's wig.
She tried to pull Kim's wig off her head.
What limitation is that?
Love it.
I love this show.
Yeah.
Let's see.
Let's see.
Shade and shady shade. Oh, there's a difference between shade and shady shade. Let's see. Shade and Shady Shade.
Oh, there's a difference between Shade and Shady Shade.
I like that.
Some of the time she makes critical comments.
It's just because she's being funny.
And sometimes she's being serious.
Who cares? I hate her.
Husbands! The husbands come on!
Oh, God. I love that. Todd, can someone please get Todd a bigger stool?
And also, don't put him behind the highest part of the couch.
He looked like this little big-headed puppet popping out from behind the couch.
All you could see were little eyes.
He looked like one of the green aliens from Toy Story, but with a little fro on top.
He's like, guys, the witch is coming.
The witch is coming.
He's like, yeah, I sold a i sold a show and you know things are okay
like can't you tell i sold a show i'm wearing a jacket with plastic sleeves that are quilted
what else do you need andy yes i've sold a show yeah and then i love peter he's like he's like
first of all i give a fuck about what any of these ladies are up to. But that being said,
I want to know about this.
He gets immediately into the gossip.
He's like, I don't give a fuck, and then he gets right in.
My very bad Why is Peter still a bitch?
I like that that caller named themselves
Lou Peter.
And Nini just cackles.
And I like, and again,
And you know what?
I know you got something to say, N know what i know you got something to say nini because you
always got something to say sucking his toothless gum in the back so say it nini say it oh really
okay uncle ben you're gonna come on now and start bullying a woman on tv i mean i know it's
nini but still back the fuck down you're trying you're sucking your teeth and threatening women
on tv why don't you just go simmer for a while until you're fully cooked and ready to be eaten But still, back the fuck down. You're sucking your teeth and threatening women on TV.
Why don't you just go simmer for a while until you're fully cooked and ready to be eaten?
And I'm always so conflicted with this perpetual – like every season there's this issue of like stay out of the business.
This is the women.
Men shouldn't be involved in women's business.
And then there's like part of me that's like –
that's so like –
it's like upholding like stupid sexist rules of like men talk about men stuff and women talk about women stuff.
So I get so mad at that.
But then part of me is like –
Well, men shouldn't be in women's fights like that.
But then part of me is like, ugh.
But like he really does like getting involved.
He really, really does.
Unlike us.
The only women's business I'm getting involved in is one I can run into the ground with my wife's money.
Yeah.
And then I do love Kenya, of course kenya's she's so funny she's she's like well you know they're talking
about a polish like you know we all flirt i mean nini flirted with peter and nini's like hold on
hold on nini got so pissed kenya knows how to push Nini's buttons like no one else. She sure does.
She knows how to push everybody's buttons.
That's why she'll be on TV forever.
Yeah, because Nini was trying to do what we knew she was trying to do.
She tried to do that whole sarcastic thing like, I'm the bad one.
I'm the bad one.
You're right.
I'm poor.
I'm bad.
Poor me.
Everybody's mean to me.
Kenya knows how to cut right through that so easily.
You gotta love Greg's speech.
What do you say again?
You know, here's what I think.
I don't care about a woman's business, but what I do care is about a woman and how a woman cares herself.
And a man is supposed to be behind his woman.
She looks over her right shoulder and she knows i'm there i'm
there with a tic tac i'm there with some lip gloss i'm there with a maxi pad in case she needs it
and that is what a man is for it's like okay greg jesus christ take it on the road jesus
calm down over there g. He's like holding a
purse behind her. You need anything, baby?
He's just so stupid.
He's just
stupid. I'm sorry. He's just
a very stupid man.
But what about that Mr. Chocolate fight?
Oh, everybody's got him now.
Oh, everybody's got an African prince.
Now, that was a rumor about me. That was a rumor
about so-and-so. And Kenya's like, oh, yeah.
Remember when everybody hated me?
I started the African prince trend, okay?
And now everybody's trying to take credit.
It's like, congratulations, Kenya.
You started the trend of everybody thinking you're a whore.
You sure did.
Way to take credit for that.
Okay, one point to Kenya, everybody.
Let's give her that.
Yeah, seriously.
Stupid.
I know know so stupid
so stupid and listen by the way if you have a vagina and you want to sell it or rent it to
somebody for a while that is your business and you are free to do that and if you want to get a purse
with your vagina what the hell else why not you're not having any babies with that thing what the
hell else you're gonna do with it you pee out of it for christ's sake get your purse girl yeah you go whores i'm with you i agree trust me if i had a
penis that could sell i'd be out on the street right now i wouldn't be talking about these women
i'd be standing in front of donut time that's right ridiculous ron diculous Rondiculous Yeah so this is the part when
Oh wait
What is it? Deny deny deny
I believe it cause I seen it
I don't know why I wrote that down
I just love Peter's version of English
So cute
I hope he writes his own menu
It'll be called a late
I hope someone in Atlanta
Goes to Peter's brew
I wonder if it's up yet I'm gonna look for Yelp reviews It'll be called a late. I hope someone in Atlanta goes to Peter's Brew.
I wonder if it's up yet.
I'm going to look for Yelp reviews.
I'm going to do, I'm going to Yelp right now.
Peter's Brew.
I like when Phaedra was just describing why she was so stressed at that thing.
She's like, well, it wasn't just the Mr. Chocolate thing. It was also that Apollo was on the lam and then he came at me with the power
drill and then there were
workmen at my home and he tripped over the
gate. It still doesn't close right.
It's like, oh jeez, Adria. Cry me a river.
I'm doing a search. I'm doing a search for
oh, Peter's Brew Jamaican Gourmet Coffee.
There is a website.
I'm going to it right now.
I'm hoping that there's...
Oh, God.
There's like a...
It's like a picture of his face.
Like as...
Ugh, who wants to drink that?
It looks like it's...
It looks like it's actually like...
Come to Peter's Brew, where gum health isn't important.
It's...
So it looks like it's actually just like a coffee.
It's not like a... It's not like a not a brick and
mortar thing and it goes so the website has like you can buy you can buy like keurig type of peter's
brew things which is sort of fun because i like the idea of like sticking his faces on it and i
like the idea of like sticking something right through his face um you can every time you pop
one in money comes out of your bank account yeah there's a Jamaican you can buy for like $15
you can buy some of the beans
and you can do this and that
and then it says served at Sports 1
bar and lounge
I always wondered what the coffee was
they served at bar 1 was
Jesus
the whole flirting with my husband thing was the next.
This Kenya and Phaedra thing.
First of all, Kenya was flirting with him.
Everybody saw it.
The cameraman made a mockery of it.
The editors made a mockery of it.
She made an ass out of herself flirting with the man.
That's why she got mad in the first place.
And Andy spoke for America when he said,
haven't we already been through all of this?
Yes, Andy, and we're still going through it.
Have you heard about Kim's house
being stolen? Yeah, well,
we're going to be going through it for the next 30 years.
Hey, Andy, you
don't have a right to say, haven't we
already gone through this? You are the producer of the show.
You are the one causing this to
happen over and over again. You're the one asking these questions
and you're the one who keeps on
instigating these scenes.
He's like, haven't we seen
this already roll a clip roll a clip i want to see it again um my i loved when i almost said
my favorite thing i need to stop with this julie andrews crap i love when he said uh
oh what were they fighting about kenny and phaedra let me remember oh you're such a hypocrite and
you're talking about standing by your man blah
blah blah you got your boobs done while he was still waiting to go to jail who cares why is it
bad to get your boobs done would it have been better to get your boobs done when he's in jail
what the fuck is your point yeah if she's doing anything she's giving him something to play with
before he goes to prison if he's not still at the strip clubs playing with their fake tits yeah what are you so mad about what is the fight here yeah let yeah go get your
boobs done make him be mad that that's what he's missing out on he's probably glad that she's in
bed for a couple of weeks what the hell yeah um i don't know these fights are so angry and they're
so they just get so vitriolic over the dumbest things you got your boobs done. Who cares?
And did she get her boobs done?
And why are they the same little orbs if she did?
Because those are kind of weird boobs.
They're nice.
They're just like weird little orbs.
But I'm not Andy, so let's not talk about boobs anymore.
Yeah, yeah.
There were a lot of boobs on this reunion.
So did anything else happen?
I just can't remember anything else.
I just remember really basically Candy
like crying.
Let me see. Well, I don't
know if anything else could happen. I've got a lot more
notes. Let me see. Blah, blah,
blah. Nini's sad.
Nini and Peter flirted. Then Nini
starts that shouting thing where she just goes
Hold on!
Yeah. Hold on!
Her voice gets all deep and rounded
she's like hold on
she screams at the top of her lungs
to the point where people are just laughing at her
she's like Cinderella
you ain't gonna disrespect me and my husband
I just did
blah blah blah
she just yells yells yells
you know
you are inherently disrespected by going
on this show and by existing in pop culture
yeah you're disrespected
because you're a disrespectful human
being okay if you don't want to be treated
like a child then stop
acting like one okay and also
put your glitter boobs away Nini nobody
needs that her boobs are about to
fly out of that thing when she gets mad
yeah alright so Nini's boobs staying in her jacket aside needs that. Her boobs are about to fly out of that thing when she gets mad. Alright, so
Nini's boobs staying in her jacket aside,
let's move on.
What would you like to do next? Blood, sweat, and heels?
I would like to go to
Real Housewives of Melbourne.
Real Housewives of Melbourne?
Alright then, let's do it then, darling.
Oh, darling.
Darling, have you seen my electronic drawers
lately? Oh my God. Well, have you seen my electronic drawers lately?
Oh, my God.
Well, it starts with Jackie telling her husband about the fight.
Oh, yeah.
That's cachool.
That's cachool, darling.
It's cachool.
I sort of, like, zoned out of the scene.
It's not very cachool.
It's very cachool. I sort of zoned out of the scene because it was just like,
why are we recapping the fight from two episodes ago or one episode?
I think it's fun to hear the recaps because i like to hear their versions she's
like well we were having dinner and then gina was there and you know gina gets upset and then you
know how gina sometimes says something and i just got upset and you know i said fuck off and i
should really shouldn't have done it should i have darling like that kind of wasn't it you should
have been like i got shit faced on tequila yeah and then got into a fight that wasn't about me, about some book I ain't never going to read.
Because, you know, I don't even read the comics and the paper.
And then I started yelling fuck you at somebody I wasn't even in a fight with.
How about that for a story?
Shine, shine, shine, darling.
Shine, shine, shine.
You know, the demons, the demons.
Somebody go after Jean.
I couldn't help it.
It was the demons.
I was possessed.
Has that ever happened to you on Silverchair?
Silverchair. It's like when you're playing the drums, darling, demons I was possessed Has that ever happened to you on silver chair? Silver chair?
It's like when you're playing the drums darling
And you get possessed by that rhythm
Gina's my rhythm darling
She's the kick drum darling
It's like that weird feeling
When you think you're sitting on a silver chair
But you're sitting on a gold chair
And you're like no this isn't my silver chair
Shut the fuck up
The demons have gotten into my chair
Gina's the folding chair to your silver chair
Yeah
She's like a hammock
You think you're sitting in a silver chair But you're sitting in a threaded hammock also i enjoy those scenes where they're
like recapping to the husbands to see the husband's reaction husbands never care because they're
always trying to just agree with the wife and i like when he said you know that's jackie she's
always got a very strong opinion and i'm always the first one to get it so you can consider me
her ozone layer you know i'm
keeping all the gas in under the blanket smelling it on my own you know it's like jackie's basically
a fart under the blanket and i'm the blanket so you're welcome i'm gonna change my band name to
silver ozone because we're an ozone layer thanks to our bands all the avengers and this woman had
glade plug-in power in her hand and I thought where can I get one of those?
I had a vision.
She's been giving Jackie visions all this time.
I didn't realize that. I thought she had psychic abilities.
It turns out that one of the Olsen sisters
she's been just getting into her brain
with the power.
I didn't realize.
Then we go to Chica looking
at the remodeled home of Lydia, which is hilarious.
And Chica's like, I really liked it a lot.
I thought it was rather cute, which is what she says about everything.
I got from the maid bush outside, that bush that your maid brought.
So I used some flowers off of it.
Hope you don't mind, darling.
Do you realize every week someone likes to show something off to Chica?
They're like, so I invited Chica over to show us something.
And Chica's like, oh, I thought I'd rather like it a lot.
I think you did a really wonderful job here.
I think it's great.
Chica's the only one on the call sheet
not shooting scenes with anybody.
Like, Chica, have any drama?
Nope.
I love everyone.
All right, then you're going to go
look at a remodel.
Sounds great.
I'll love a dishwasher full.
Like, hey, Chica,
I just bought some new crackers.
You want to come look?
Okay.
Oh, I'd rather like these crackers you got.
Thanks.
They're on sale. Oh, I'd rather like them a lot. They're really wonderful. I should bring some new crackers. You want to come look? Okay. Oh, I rather like these crackers you got. Thanks. They're on sale.
Oh, I rather like them a lot.
They're really wonderful.
I should bring some Brucie.
I hope you like the remodel.
We've worked really hard on it.
I like the mix between old and new.
Oh, you must mean that portrait of you and your husband.
I like that quite a lot.
Lydia's like, oh, this counter.
This counter's made from one slab of marble.
It took 10 people to carry it in, and they're all my daughters now.
You should see all the trees being planted in the yard.
It took five handymen to install these five dishwashers, and now they're my children too.
Wait until you see the stove.
I had to buy new pots.
And Chica's like, like oh that must have been difficult
chica's like oh i rather like these pots a lot it's wonderful they did a wonderful job
yeah this is great great work what if you named the dishwasher darling
um yeah because i don't have time to do the dishes i just don't you have time to do the
fucking dishes oh no she doesn't have time to wait for the dishes yeah i just don't. Lydia, you have time to do the fucking dishes. Oh no, she doesn't have time to
wait for the dishes to come out of the dishwasher.
And Chica is so nice. She's like, well, you
know, some people have 45
dishwashers, and if they can, then we'll pay
to them. I'm like, no, Chica.
It's not like that. Like, okay, fine.
Have two. Be like Ina Garten, because, you know,
I don't know if you
ever saw... Well, you know Ina Garten uses that shit, because
she eats. So you know that, like, after dinner at Ina's house, she needs four dishwashers, OK?
She also needs like four digestive tracts.
Well, the thing that's hilarious about Ina Garten is that in her cookbook, like how easy is that?
She has a section of tips, tips to make life easier.
And one thing is like wrap things in this or one thing is set this aside ahead of time.
And one of her tips is get a second dishwasher. one thing is like you know wrap things in this or one thing is set this aside ahead of time and one
of her tips is get a second dishwasher she's like trust me it'll help so much i'm like oh oh i didn't
realize that's all i have to do i'll just like install a dishwasher in my kitchen that has no
space for a second dishwasher like oh that's it she also has in that cookbook sheet one of her
recipes is foie gras.
You know, foie gras is, like, famously so different.
Like, if you buy, like, a foie gras, like, gland or globe, whatever it is, you have to, like, take out all the little veins. It is, like, famously very intricate and time intensive.
And she's like, how easy is that?
Just, you know.
You want to save some time?
Get a duck and force feed him Cheetos yourself. Why wait for a farmer to do it? Oh, you know, you want to save some time, get a duck and force feed him Cheetos yourself.
Why wait for a farmer to do it?
I know.
Poor people don't do that, Tony.
Look at the candles in my house.
Look at the candles.
OK, this is a perfect example of how lost Chica is sometimes on this show.
Then they cut to Chica's testimonial or diary room session or whatever.
And this is Chica's response.
I love candles i think
that candles can really brighten a room they bring a sense of warmth you know and wax to a room if
you've got a candle you've got a fire all right thanks chica glad you showed up for shooting today
she's like she's like she's like you know what's funny about candles i noticed that a lot of moths
are drawn to them it's like moths and flames they just are drawn to each other have you ever noticed that before
i want to tell them off moth you could be killed by that flame if you get too close
ah but moths are like humans they learn by experience a moth's not gonna know to touch
a stove until it gets burnt on it let your moth touch the stove every once in a while
you know what's funny if you blow out a candle it's just so it just Let your mouth touch the stove every once in a while. You know what's funny? If you blow out a candle, it just goes out so quickly.
It's almost like life.
It's almost like, you know, like someone like Marilyn Monroe,
someone who dies really early, they're almost like a candle in the wind.
That's even too deep because it's just like, I love candles.
She's like, I love curtains.
You know curtains?
Sometimes they're open and the sunlight comes in,
and sometimes you close them if you want to sleep later and you like your room dark.
Thanks, Chica.
You know what's great about a bowl is that because they're round in nature,
you can put a bunch of things in them and they don't roll away.
I cut up vegetables one time, and I thought, what am I going to put these in?
If I put them on a plate, they're going to spill all over the place.
And I thought, a bowl.
Whoever invented bowls, thank you. You know, one thing that I love about Lydia's spoons is that you can put them in
some soup and all the soup won't run through it like a fork. You can just actually carry the soup
into your mouth with them. Also, they're really wonderful for heating up heroin. Hey, thanks.
Thanks for coming by, Chica. Thanks. I love, though i love that lydia is so lazy that she has to install
electronically opening drawers like she can't open them herself she has to push a button they
roll out and then she laughed she's like it does make me wonder what will happen if electricity
goes out i was like you think that's the very first thing i thought about like good luck getting
to your first aid kit after the great melbourne earthquake and it's stuck in an electronic drawer that won't open. What if I need a spoon?
Ho ho ho ho!
He starts laughing.
What if I need a spoon?
She's like, that Alanis Morissette song really spoke to me.
It's like
10,000 knives, which I have.
I actually bought 10,000 knives.
Fucking Lydia kills me.
Look at these drawers.
I love that she's so impressed by everything that's
been released 10 years ago like self-closing drawers look it's got a battery in it isn't
that fascinating she's like i gotta miss the coffee machine so i can brew some of peter's brew
if there's very expensive coffee from atlanta in the states i'm very excited to try it. I carried it myself from Atlanta.
By the way, about those candlesticks,
I carried these candlesticks
from Florence. I can imagine
you carrying those fucking things
walking all the way. I was on my
daughter's back, darling. She started complaining
and I said, what kind of daughter complains?
You're supposed to help your mother.
I was like, I told the
Z Gallery, no, don't ship these. I'm going to carry them myself. kind of daughter complains you're supposed to help your mother i was like i told the z gallery no
don't ship these i'm gonna carry them myself by the way i have to correct myself because i'm
kind of crazy like this i made an alanis morissette joke where i talked about 10 000
knives it's really 10 000 spoons when all you need is a knife. So if that was killing everyone else the way it was killing me, I apologize.
I don't get the Lannis Morissette joke.
She's so... Well, isn't that ironic?
Isn't that ironic, Ronnie?
Can't spell ironic without...
I'm a bitch, I'm a lover.
I'm a fighter, I'm a pilot.
That's Meredith Bainbridge.
It's Meredith... Meryl Bain. I'm a stove and you're not.
Close my drawers with the remote control.
I don't care.
My daughter's shallering.
Shut up, Alanis Morissette.
That's Meredith Brooks.
That was Meredith Brooks that you were singing.
Who's Meredith Brooks, darling?
She's a fake Alanis Morissette.
Who's that, darling?
I don't know who Meredith Brooks is.
All you need to know is...
You've been through enough pain in your life that you
earned the rights to that song. Congratulations.
You've written a wonderful song about being a bitch.
Darling, you can't spell ironic without spelling
I'm Ron.
You put the Ron in ironic.
Someone go tell
a doctor.
It's amazing.
You put some water in it and when you plug it in,
steam comes out.
You know what I call my iron?
You know what I call an iron?
I call it something that presses shirts.
I miss Andrea.
Oh, Andrea. Thank God her laughter is still alive
in Lydia.
So we move on to G&G,
Gamble and Gina, walking in full
daylight in glitter dresses like they're going to
the Cable Ace Awards. By the way,
I say Cable Ace Awards a lot because I really
miss the Cable Ace Awards.
Bring them back!
I mean, they're not clovers, they're
spade awards, right?
Wasn't it a ship of spade?
Yeah, they're like a big plastic spade.
Yeah, it's great.
So they were going to like the launch party of Janet and Jake's tea for burn victims.
So, you know, so so Janet's son was there.
And, you know, as we know, he he he burned himself making tea.
He burned himself at a barbecue, which is really, you know, a very scary thing. And it's like really great that he, you know, he was like really embarrassed to come out and, you know, be in public because he has like skin grafts and a lot of scars.
And, you know, when I was seeing him like with his mom and some of these other women, I was like, you know, this guy, you know, he shouldn't feel embarrassed to be in public.
Because honestly, his face doesn't really look that much different than many of the women's faces on this show
I know people kept coming up to Janet
like handing her dollars like she was the burn victim
I know they're like oh Janet
I'm so sorry about the bonfire
you fell into
lost an ear darling
but my son was in an accident
we talked about that
and they're going up to Jake and they're like
oh darling you look wonderful
did you go see Gamble's doctor
no I'm actually the burn victim
Jake still hot
burn face or not I mean I don't care
he's working his hotness he looked cute
and honestly like all joking aside
I think it's really great like what he's doing
I can you know
I'm joking about it but like
you know obviously we understand why that might be.
And still hot.
It's not an ugly person
burning their face.
It's like he's still got
a hot face under all of that.
Ronnie, don't be insensitive.
Not even under it.
Ronnie, are you allowed
to say that a burn victim is hot?
Yeah, he is hot.
I'm just kidding.
Oh, no, I see what you're saying.
I'm making a fire joke.
How could you?
I mean, not as hot as he was that day, obviously.
He's never been hotter.
So mean.
So mean.
I'm sorry.
It's not a laughing matter.
I'm sorry.
I just take, sometimes I take jokes just because they're there.
I can't help myself.
That's just funny, though.
I can't believe I said that.
I can't help myself.
I'm so sorry.
Yeah, but he's still hot, darling.
You know, there's ugly people. He is hot. you know why because they don't get such a life you know they don't get to sell tea telling you know why he's hot because he was like a hot person
he was like always a hot popular person so people who are hot and popular just always
just like carry themselves as hot and popular no matter what they look like and um not saying that
he looks bad or anything but they just always have that inner
confidence that just will make them hot for the rest of their lives having this friendship between
uh gina and gamble kills me because a they both love their glitter dresses yeah and glitter dresses
are just i'm sorry no matter what time of day really a glitter dress is um that's something
i don't know you should think about anyone with a glitter dress think long and hard please i saw my landlord walking down you should think about. Anyone with a glitter dress, think long and hard, please.
I saw my landlord walking down to the bus the other
day wearing a glitter dress.
I was like, you're going to the bus. Anyway,
they're wearing their glitter dresses and
they're talking about the last event that they were at
together. And
Gina says, I don't know why,
you know, I don't know what's wrong with her.
I don't know why she's so mad at me.
I don't really understand why everybody's getting it. It's not like she served me a piece of cake and I didn't know what's wrong with her. I don't know why she's so mad at me. I don't really understand why everybody's getting it.
It's not like she served me a piece of cake and I didn't like it.
How many times does that fight happen?
Yeah.
So many.
Yeah, the old piece of cake debate of 2012.
Sprinkle cookies.
Take later cookies.
But then they just laugh, laugh, laugh.
take later cookies but then they just laugh laugh laugh well what i liked was this was like a totally benign scene everyone's hanging out and janet's like oh everyone come meet my friend carlos
and like oh here's carlos and then all of a sudden gamble's like he's the one who saw the rumors i'm
like oh no we're gonna start this all over again. Oh, another perfectly innocent Janet scene where she totally didn't tell him to come.
He just happened to come.
I have a lot of sound clips for this show.
I almost forgot until you said Carlos.
And then I remembered, I don't even know who the fuck Carlos is.
And then Janet's like, oh, she's like, oh, no.
What have I done? I've done it again
by accident
I'm gonna ignore the hell out of you
okay
so this queen comes in actually
wasn't very queenie but you gotta assume he is one
he's like gossiping with old ladies but
he comes in and
gambles all up in his business
like
I'm gonna tell wolfie that i've
met the man who started the rumors you're gonna be in trouble i never have sex parties you are
very successful at starting rumors where were you the day and time that you said that i don't know
well you better know you better find out because when you say something like that you said that? I don't know. Well, you better know. You better find out, because when you say something like that,
you better have a time and place, right?
It's called an alibi.
What have you got there?
I don't know.
Well, you better...
You better come up with something.
I need something, being Jack.
Oh, well...
Carlos is like, well, I've seen the pictures.
Dun, dun, dun.
And then George goes,
he went there.
Oh, no, he went there.
And he's like, no, darling.
No, he went there.
Where's the Janet one?
Oh, no, Janet.
What have you done?
Stupid Janet pretending to be innocent.
That's like Janet.
I didn't even think about it.
He was just coming here from somewhere else.
And he happened to stop by with this story about bitches. I forgot all about it. He was just coming here from somewhere else and he happened to stop by with this
story about bitches. I
forgot all about it.
By the way, every time you play that audio clip of Janet
being like, what have you done? It's like
Janet as presented by M. Night Shyamalan.
The twist ending.
Janet is her son.
I thought, well, no, Janet,
what have you done?
I see sparkling people.
The second that he said, I have the pictures,
everyone went apeshit, and then they cut to Gamble,
and she's like, I'm really confused.
Because if you've got pictures, you know you've got pictures.
And she looked, I mean, granted,
that's like the static look
on her face is confused. She has resting,
confused person face. She's like, oh shit.
And then she's like,
the only photos out there that could have been
taken out of contents
are photos of me and my girlfriend sitting out
of the pool. I'm like, yeah,
just sitting at the pool having sex.
I'm actually very self-conscious.
I don't like having my picture taken
by people. It makes me feel really
sad inside. Except for
Playboy that one time, but whatever.
And normally it's Suamitideen.
Don't take that picture
out of contents, please, Wolfie.
Don't take it.
I'm a venomist.
Oh, so funny. This show is so funny. funny so then the best is that then even keep up because then i
skip to another part where gina walked up to gina walked up to uh carlos jackie oh no this is before
i'm sorry i'm skipping back i'll come right back but i wrote this down and it just made me laugh
looking at it when she ran into jackie and this is the first time they've seen each other and
they're being fakey nice to each other.
Jackie's so nice.
I would never know that she hates me.
Like, she's so nice.
And then Gina's trying to be complimentary, and she's like,
Oh, darling, look at this dress.
It's wonderful.
What's this fabric?
It's cotton.
Oh, all right.
Well, that's wonderful.
It's all roughly pregnant.
So I'm pregnant now?
Oh, I didn't mean it like that, darling.
Come on. Love this show. this show ideal in fact not fabric
ideal in fact not fabric
um yeah so then so anyway so so gambles they're they're all like
in a tizzy so then giner and Gamble pull Carlos to the side.
And then it's like it went from good cop, bad cop.
Because then Gina started to be nice.
She's like, listen, we just want to know what's in the photo.
That's all.
That's all.
We just want to know.
Because otherwise you're opening yourself for liability.
We just want to know.
Was she giving hate to a fat man?
What is it, darling?
Did she have a dick in her mouth?
Was she topless?
Did she have her fingers in herself?
Was she sitting on a traffic cone?
Was she doing anything with a wooden spoon,
darling? I mean, what was she doing, leaving snail
tails on the ground? Explain it, darling.
Darling, was she sticking a figurine from
Easter Island up her hoo-ha? Please explain.
Was she giving
Wolfie a helicopter in that one? I've seen that picture.
That's a good one, darling. It's an instructional video
if I've ever seen one. Darling, was she
giving three men the Sydney Opera House? If you don't know what that
means, I suggest you look it up.
Was she pumping up a jumpy house? You know
what that means, darling. You know, blow, blow, darling.
Blow. You know, when I've seen
what she can do with Wolfie, you know, I mean, that's
something. I wouldn't call it a sex video, really.
Mostly just, you know, squeezing
and praying and, you know, tapping
and flicking. But, you know, still.
Darling, was she giving
Wolfie an A as rock? Because we know what that's
all about.
I hope she wasn't giving a three-fingered didgeridoo.
And at least Gina can be...
She can repeat what she says in public
in a way that... Or she gets accused of
being mean. She can repeat it
and not sound like a bitch.
She went up to Wolfie and she was like,
Do you remember me this time, darling?
Oh, I'm so embarrassed
that I could forget your name.
I'm so embarrassed.
I'm embarrassed if it helped you.
I farted in the car. Now it's running down my leg.
That's where I'm at in life now, Miranda.
I'll never forget your name again.
You can't get mad
at a guy who's going be meeting gabriel any day now
you know it's like just give him his time he's about to hear a horn section so uh but carla
getting back to carlos though so once gina and like gamble start really coming down you can see
he's like you know it's not worth it to try to take a stance here and i can't produce the photo
so he just backtracks he's like no i mean she was clothed she was just sitting on a coffee table that's it and they're
like oh so you would just you just inferred something so he basically took a hit for the
team he was like i'm just gonna end it of you sitting on a coffee table doing nothing the day
after you supposedly had a sex party that some guy I won't name tell me about.
Shut up, bitch.
Okay, this is a perfect example of a man trying to be a bitch.
You are not part of it.
It doesn't look as innocent when a man is making up something like that, okay?
It just looks really, really bad.
Please stop.
Make some friends that you can go hang out with that aren't 70-year-old ladies
trying to turn you against some other old lady they're mad at.
Boy, good luck.
Yeah, stop taking photos out of contents,
Carlos. Yeah, Carlos.
Yeah, I can't. What have you done?
So that turned out to be
nothing, so that was good. And at
first, while this was happening, I was really worried
because Gina was demanding
details, and I thought, because Gina was demanding details.
And I thought, don't be demanding details about pictures in a sex tape that you don't want coming out on a national TV show.
That's not good.
But then, of course, it turns out he had nothing.
Yeah.
And I like also that Gamble thinks being a lawyer, she said.
I'm so glad to have Gina on my side, you know, because now she can go solve mysteries.
That's not what lawyers do, okay?
She's not Perry Mason.
This is not what she wrote.
She's not solving any mysteries, okay? She's defending, like, drug addicts and stuff.
Yeah.
Gamble's so cute.
So then, just when you think the drama, the drama at this party is over, then Petty Fleur decides that she wants to clear the air about her accent first
of all i love that lydia she tells us she's like she's like well i read i think that her accents
you know i think it's you know i like her accent it's sort of like a mediterranean sound like do
you do you know where sri lanka is do you know where sri mexico you know one time i saw a mexican
jumping bing and you know it was in mexico but it was a bean, and it just jumped.
And I thought, that's what Petty Flurf sounds like.
She's so cute.
Her accent is so cute.
You don't know what she's talking about or where she's from
or why she's here or who she works for
or how much they pay her to sweep the floor.
The point is she's from another country,
so we should pay her to do chores.
She's, you know, I like how her accent sounds
sort of like a Russian-Canadian thing, you know as we all know uh sri lanka is a island off the coast of greenland
also in this conversation she is giving advice on how to deal with gina which is really rich
all right here's how you deal with gina you have to understand to call Andrea. Because Andrea will come in and sit by your side, and she'll do everything for you.
You want to call her right now?
I can't believe they haven't called Andrea yet.
I know.
Well, I'm sure that Lydia's called her off camera.
You know why Gina's a bitch?
Because she's a dog.
Oh!
Oh!
You know why they call Gina a lady?
It's because she has a vagina.
Oh!
Oh! you know you know what they call gina lady it's because she has a vagina so first of all this petty floor needs to get a fucking life start a fight about something real please let's not bring up the same thing over and over it makes no sense and why are you going
against gina you lose every time bitch i know, although Gina did contradict herself, because in the interview
she's like, I wasn't mocking her,
I was merely mimicking her. And then Petty Flo's like,
you are mimicking me, and she's like, I wasn't mimicking you,
I was just merely, you know, doing
your voice.
Like Gina. But she did have a point, I mean,
she was just saying, like, that
you know, she was, she
wasn't, she wasn't
out to make her feel bad about her actions.
She was just trying to imitate the way she sounded when she said something stupid.
Betty Flores is just too stupid to fight.
She's too stupid.
She doesn't even know what she's talking about.
You are making fun of my accent and my color, and that is racist.
No, it's not racist.
You're trying to make out that I'm a racist.
Are you saying you're racist?
I didn't say that.
Are you saying I'm racist?
Oh, well, you're asking. So if you're asking if you're a racist, I that i'm a racist are you saying you're racist i didn't say that are you saying i'm racist oh but you're asking so if you're asking if you're a racist i'm saying you're a racist i'm not saying i'm racist i'm asking you if you think i'm racist oh shit she's racist she said
she asked if she was racist racism like shut up lady okay close to 7-eleven that's racism okay
that's rude and ignorant right there no it's not racist what she's saying. Stop trying to make something out
of nothing, stupid. Rent the
help, okay? Learn what racism
is, you dumb bitch. You know, she's an
expert on everything except when
to cry racism.
Eddie expert.
Don't call me Eddie expert.
I'm not Eddie expert, although I am an expert in jewels.
And if anyone
knows about shoes, it's me, because I'm Eddie expert in jewels and if anyone if anyone knows about shoes it's me
because i'm eddie expert in shoes but don't call me eddie expert i love that her nickname is eddie
expert i have more takes one to know one doesn't it she's always calling everyone stupid well it
takes one to know one doesn't it um? No, this is the best one.
I love Gina.
She's a mom.
It's simple.
Just keep it simple.
Gina and Janet are the best one for little sound bites for your iPhone app.
So you want to annoy your partner with.
I don't want the ugly shoe.
I don't want the ugly shoe.
Well, I love how.
So then the next thing that happened is that Gina had a shoe launch.
And like half the women hated their shoes.
If it were me, I would just be like, oh, thanks.
Whatever. Who cares?
They named a shoe after her.
She named shoes after all the ladies,
and then everybody's all up in arms
about it because they're trying to use their names
to sell products.
What do you think that Janet is going to
get outside, okay?
That's not calling in a bunch of dollars to be donated to, like, plastic glitter shoes.
Please shut up, Janet.
Although Petty Fleur actually was right.
I agreed with Gina, when Gina said that Petty Fleur was taking a swipe at her because Petty Fleur was like,
oh, well, you have red sores.
I don't know how you could have red sores because that is a, everyone knows knows that that is that belongs to louboutin louboutin got in a fight with payless
because payless tried to do the red shoe on the everybody knows everybody knows although i know
more because i am an expert in shoes um so i do think the fact that she brought that up there at
the event was her getting back
about this which the bitch bitch switch situation however i did look it up and actually petty fleur
stands on stronger ground about this than gina did about the the the titles because i think that
titles can't really be um trademarked but lubitan actually did get a trademark with a red bottom sole on a shoe
that is where the the upper part of the shoe is not red also so you actually are not jean oh jean
or how awful i can't believe you stole from lupitan how is that even possible okay i'm gonna
i'm gonna get a trademark on um white bungalows okay so if anybody has a white bungalows, okay? Because... So if anybody has a white bungalow
that's painted white,
you're going to get your ass sued.
Well, I went to LegalZoom.com
when I did this search,
and apparently the courts decided
that the red soul had become
what's called, like, secondary meaning.
Like, it had taken on a secondary meaning,
which meant that it was able to be
a trademark like when i was an intern at nickelodeon back in like 2000
we were told that nickelodeon actually had a trademark on the color orange believe it or not
oh god i mean anything but like i mean obviously in certain contexts i mean
certain contents i should say um but you know you couldn't and it doesn't have it doesn't
control orange everywhere.
But in terms of a lot of branding things, we were told, like, oh, yeah, Nickelodeon owns Orange.
Yeah.
I don't care, like, about their shoes or their trademarks.
I think they're all stupid.
I don't think anybody's going to bother suing somebody on a show that nobody's watching anyway.
But Gina, if she was right about anything, it was how she schooled this bitch on how to
behave when someone does say something like that she was like is it darling we'll worry about that
later and then all the women come up and attack her because or not attack her but confront her
because chica's mad you know chica's mad for the first time in history and she's mad because she
was named after her with a short soul yeah she's like that's why she was mad she's like i'm not i'm not a kitten i'm not a kitten heel i'm like well actually
jigger you're kind of the definition of a kitten heel and i basically barely know what a kitten
heel is everyone knows i'm a diafoam even brucey says i'm a tall stiletto academy is a new scripted
podcast that follows ava richards played by HBO's Industries' Myhala
Harold, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten
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From Wondery, this is Black History for Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey.
And I'm Conscious Lee.
What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History?
Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month.
Exactly, exactly.
There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February.
And we are about to flip the script on all of that.
Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less.
In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
And a little bit more.
She is a heroine to some.
As a fighter for Black rights, she is a villain to others.
Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.
Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th.
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I'm a deer-foam slipper, you know?
You wake up in the morning, your gay husband's cooking breakfast,
your son's wearing the pants that are too tight for him,
his penis is showing through,
and I just think to myself, my feet are warm.
I take some issue with Petty Fleur having her shoe.
We all know that Petty Fleur's a moon boot.
I think Petty Fleur might be mad about this
because she's upset that Gina has a successful business.
Are you a jellyfish shoe?
I love Sheikah getting angry about such a stupid thing.
I know.
Well, we need to talk about this because I don't like my name being used on a shoe, darling, that I haven't noticed.
Disgust it with me.
And Petty Fleur is like, I don't like my name being used on a shoe, darling, that I haven't noticed. Disgust it with me. And Petty Fleur is like, I don't like my name being used on
a product. I have a very original
name, which of course we know
is a lie because it was used on
some pearl necklace or whatever. Yeah, exactly.
I feel so stupid sometimes
when I hear myself talking about this. Listen, Petty
Fleur, we all know that there was a typo
on your birth certificate and you were named after Petty
Fours, okay?
And also, I'd like to say, okay, your mom was saying, oh, she's petty and she's got fur. And they were named after Petty Fours, okay? And also, I'd like to say, okay.
Your mom was saying, oh, she's petty
and she's got fur. And they were like, Petty Fleur?
Okay. And also, by the
way, I just looked it up. Petty Fleur
is a successful instrumental written by
Sidney Bechet and recorded by him in 1952.
Which is my way of saying,
you know, Petty Fleur, you think you have a
unique name, but where do you think you got it? You were clearly
named after something.
Well, not only that, can you imagine her walking into a garden?
She'd be pissed at all the little flowers.
That is my name, little flower.
You are not allowed to exist. I'm throwing flowers.
And I know about
flowers.
These are not flowers, these are weeds. I know because if anyone
knows a flower, it's me. But I am not any expert.
And Janet's all pissed.
I got the granny shoes.
Well, Janet.
Oh, Gina, what an awful shoe to give out.
I like that Gina didn't get catty, though.
She's like, all right, if you don't like it, I'll just take your names off the shoes.
No big deal.
I mean, I can call them whatever I want. but if you want your name off i'll take it
off no big deal who cares and petty floor is like call me what was it like honeybee or honeypot or
my name is honey what no honey bit it's a honey honey honey bit honeycomb my name is honey bit
this is my nickname because my bits are like honey because I put honey on them and then the Catholics.
But Petty Floor is ridiculous, and I love Janet's outrage.
I don't like being named after that shoe.
Listen, she could have just made it old worn-out leather that's been stretched too tight over the sole, okay, that's only allowed to be worn by children.
Shut up.
Fucking shoe.
I know.
She doesn't like you.
That shoe could have been hideous.
And poor Chica girl
I mean you're lucky that wasn't a clog
quiet
she could have been a real bitch with those shoes
it could have been a snowshoe
or something like that
she's trying to sell her
she's trying to sell her products based on our fame
oh really like you just tried to sell your
fucking burn tea shut up
get out of here.
I know.
Scene with drama with Tempest.
Hilarious to me.
Seeing this woman all bandaged up with plastic surgery, sitting by the ocean.
The return of Lynn Curtin, basically.
I'm surprised how well I'm healing from all this. I can see better without my lids hanging over my eye. And Gamble's like,
You're gonna be so pretty!
You're gonna love it. You're gonna be pretty
for ten years.
And then she's like,
Oh, I didn't know this much about...
I didn't realize that Janet had a son.
That gives her a lot of depth. I think I want to get to know her.
I'm like, shut up. Shut up, Tempest.
She's so stupid. I didn't understand what this was when I read it
because I don't understand my notes a lot of the time,
but I wrote cutting edge because Gina was like,
Janet, I didn't name those for you because they're for old people.
That's the cutting edge style, darling.
That's the new style.
So I named it after you because you're cutting edge.
And Janet's like, oh, it's cutting edge then.
Okay, then I'm not mad anymore.
Your face is the most cut up thing on this show.
That's why that was named after you.
It's like parts of 10 different shoes cobbled together and covered in like a layer of goo.
I know.
Oh, my God.
And then we go to the other event.
This was just events for everybody.
I know.
Everybody had an event.
I know.
It felt like the season. I feel like the season is coming to a close soon.
It is.
There's only two more.
Oh, Gina, how awful of you to have so few answers.
It's terrible, and there's no reunion.
Also, I emailed Gina Liano, and I never heard back from her.
I'd like to have her on this show, so if anybody knows Gina,
please tell her that we'd love to talk to her about stealing ideas.
Maybe she's too busy getting
sued by Christian Libetan.
You're a flip-flopper. You know, that is
taken. That is taken. Flip-flops
are things that people wear. You cannot
say that to people on television. You will get
sued. You know, Janet,
I don't know if you realise this, but you cannot
sell tea because tevas
already have a trademark on that part
of the word.
I thought it was going to be
she's a moron.
I suck at this thing.
It was a good stinger for the
tea put down.
Tea burn.
I burned my tongue on the tea.
Tea burn in a burn function
chair. Oh, Janet, spill the tea.
But don't spill it too much it's very hot
tea i'm an expert on temperature one time someone said i'm freezing and i said i invented that
you know because i know about temperature i know that when when you're freezing it's cold
out when you're warm it's hot out so i sort of know everything there is to know about meteorology.
This event was for Jackie. Jackie's
had a model contest. America's next
top model, you know?
First of all, to have a contest that you're not even
going to pay the model
to show up, it's like the prize is wearing
or drinking your shit
for free, your re-bottled fronzy,
okay? She's having this contest
for these homely girls, and then she makes them show up for another free day to're fronzy. You're re-bottled fronzy, okay? She's having this contest for these homely girls, and then she makes
them show up for another free day
to stand there and lose.
Yeah, exactly, and it's just to be, like, the face
of, essentially, Blackwater.
This is, like, what's that goal?
Congratulations, you're the face of a liquor
that no one actually wants to buy.
You're the face of the cheapest wine
in town. It's Cachou!
Chon, chon, chon, darling!
You're the face of that wine that they sell next to the $4 jugs that you use to make sangria.
This model really represents what Moscato is all about.
She's that retro girl, you know, in the 50s when women didn't have rights and they had severe bangs
and all they could do is stay home and get fat and have babies.
You know, that's what Moscato's all about, darling.
We're really lucky that we stole this woman
because we heard that,
that,
that Manischewitz
wanted her real badly.
She's,
uh,
I forgot what I was even going to say
and I'm still laughing at it.
It's funny that I can still laugh at myself
without even know what I was going to say.
That's,
that's,
uh,
sad.
Okay.
What other part here?
Um,
I mean,
all that happened here is
I kind of lost it at this part.
Yeah, I thought this
I sort of felt like the
steam ran out at
this part of the show. Basically,
they just revealed the girl.
There's a lot of laughter. And then
Shine, Shine, Shine left in a helicopter
for no good reason. And then
she took the keys. She took
Ben's keys by accident.
So she landed the helicopter again,
threw out the keys,
and then she went off to wherever she had to go to.
How is he going to get all call to the place
where we need all call?
You're rich enough to get a helicopter,
take a fucking Uber.
What are you complaining about?
Exactly.
You're so poor now that you have to turn the helicopter around?
Come on, Jackie.
Oh, couture.
It's couture with propellers.
Model winner.
Losers there.
And that's all I had.
And then it's a blank page, which don't be confused because that blank page doesn't end at the podcast.
It means I have to figure out how to go back and find the notes for Blood, Sweat, Heals.
Well, let's go to Blood, Sweat, and Heals.
Blood, Sweat, and Heals.
Last week on Blood, Sweat, and Heels. Blood, Sweat, and Heels. Last week on Blood, Sweat, and Heels.
Racism.
Cancer.
More racism.
Oh, and then some girls decided to have lunch.
Yeah.
What?
Well, this...
That's how they started the show.
They showed the clips.
It was like, that's racist.
That's racist.
I have cancer.
I have cancer.
You want to have lunch?
Sure.
Yeah.
Doom, doom, doom, doom.
Well, yeah.
My opening, guys. Yeah, I mean, basically, it started with Demetria and Micah, like, going to the Krabby Shack to resolve their issues, which was sort of funny.
Like, of course, Demetria would be at the Krabby Shack, you know?
Also, Demetria is such a bitch, okay?
Anybody who's ever lived in New York, making someone go to Brooklyn to meet you
for lunch is a bitch move
I mean that is a power move
she's basically like I'm the top dog and you're gonna come to Brooklyn
to apologize to me bitch
yeah meet at Tribeca or something
I mean Micah's all the way up in Harlem for crying out loud
you meet in Midtown okay
you both have to travel that's a bitch move
I don't like that cause already she's showing
that she's gonna be a bitch no matter what
and she wasn't.
You know, whatever.
They had a nice... I like that they're so shocked
that having a normal adult discussion
solved everything. Well, that's why Micah was like,
who knew that all he had to do was sit down and talk?
Everybody else in the
world. I know. But I still love
Micah. Meanwhile, other people having
a conversation was Geneva.
So Geneva, she
gathers a team at an empty restaurant. She's like,
okay, I've had a lot going on
the past few weeks, but I'm not going to let it get me down.
I'm going to launch a new website. It's going to be
like Huffington Post, but for black women.
It's going to be called Geneva Pop Daily
or whatever it was. And so she gathers people
and she has her
little easel. She's like, okay, we're going to
make a website. And then she writes down original content.
Well, congratulations.
You just broke the internet with that bombshell idea.
She's so stupid.
Oh, my God.
I have to skip ahead.
All of these notes to get to the Geneva part.
Sorry.
Sorry, because it was the only note that I wrote down.
Cancer friend.
People think I'm mean.
Blah, blah, blah.
We can go back.
We can go back.
But the only note that I wrote down was Geneva writing down... Okay, yeah, we have to
hold on, because we have some other stuff first.
Um, one is
the girl, what is her
name? Arzo? The Afghani girl
with her... Arzo, she's really nervous
about introducing her family.
She's really nervous about introducing
yesterday to her family, because
she's just, like, a rebel to them. She's, like,
a felon to them right now.
Because, look, I'm like, I'm Afghani, okay?
So my parents, I mean, they came to America.
And, look, they didn't come here for the American dream.
They had to come here.
They were refugees.
Oh, well, excuse us and our American dream, okay?
I'm so sorry that your family was so upset that they had to come to the land of fucking opportunity.
The Russians were invading and they thought they were going to get killed, so they came to
California. It was hard. It's not like
they came here because they wanted to. I mean, they
wanted to keep women in. They just
know America. You know,
working, but they had to come here. I mean, it's
not like they wanted to. I'm sorry
that America saved your family's
ass. I don't think she was saying
that, Ronnie. I think she was saying
the reason why they have been so close to her assimilating in America is because they didn't come to America to embrace American culture.
They came to America because it's where they needed to go.
Exactly.
But the reason I'm already angry about it is because it's a thread that continues through where you're not in your fucking country.
Now you're in America and women are not
treated like that.
It's like, excuse us,
disregard our rules against racism in this
country because you guys didn't want to be here in the first place.
It's totally fine to not
want your daughter to date a black guy.
I don't know. It just bugs me.
She's the new Persian. Everything
she says is, oh, it's because I'm
Afghani and in my country country i don't know i
actually really it makes me crazy her voice like that's not how we do it there her voice is crazy
but i actually really like arzo a lot because she is i she's like nutty but i i feel like i would
like sit and have a fun time with arzo i don't like her i think she's an asshole she's so proud
of herself she is an asshole but like i started proud of herself for dating a black guy. She's like patting herself on the back for dating a black guy.
And then it's not even about color or anything else.
It's like, well, he needs a job.
He needs to make it.
And then we'll get married.
Like, she'll marry him only if he is.
I don't know.
It's not really love.
It's weird.
You marry who you love.
And if they make it, they make it.
And if they don't, they don't.
Like, why is that the rule that you're going to stick to?
He needs to be able to support me.
He's still black. He's still not Afghani.
He's still not your religion.
Why is money the only one that you guys are going to, like, hold?
You're going to follow that rule.
It bugs me. I don't like that girl.
Well, I'm surprised that her parents would have any problems with yesterday
because, you know, we're just sort of like, we're like black folk.
We're like Italians, you know?
Racism is totally normal where we're from.
I mean, it's not a big deal.
Who cares?
You know, I'm just, you know, my parents probably think I'm a lesbian at this point because I only bring women to my home, you know?
I saw.
This is such an off the show thing.
But I went to this musical this week called Sideshow.
This kind of, it wasn't a community theater, but I mean, I won't be mean about it,
but I was watching it,
and it's about a sideshow,
and the conjoined twins from the sideshow
end up becoming stars,
and they make that movie Freaks about them.
So it's kind of a true story,
or I guess it's based on a true story.
Their life must have had really bad music in it,
but these two girls are conjoined,
and it's kind of a lovejoined and they're fought you
know it's kind of a love story between who they're falling in love with or wanting to fall in love
with and one of them's being used by some guy who wants fame and blah blah blah and uh the other one
is can't be with the love of her life because he just can't be with a conjoined twin because he's
so ignorant you know and he won't be with a conjoined twin and then the the innocent one like
the nice one is about to get married.
And their best friend who's taken care of them their whole lives is this black guy.
And he's like, don't get married.
I'm in love with you.
And then he does this weird acting song, which was embarrassing to watch.
But the plot was he's saying, I love you.
Marry me.
This is true love.
And she's like, I can't marry a black guy.
And I just thought that is rich. Okay. The fucking conjoined twin can't marry a black guy and i just thought that is rich okay
the fucking conjoined twin can't marry a black guy like geez wasn't i know i brought that up but
i was like you have to tell somebody about that you can't keep that in your own mind wasn't that
like a big thing wasn't it a big musical um sideshow it was nominated for a tony but i mean
i guess that shows you how hard how hard up are. Because maybe it was better on Broadway, but this was painful.
It was one of those ones that has sing-talking, where it's not a rock opera, where they're really singing the whole show.
They would just do these like 10-minute long scenes with singing that made just about anything random.
Like Les Mis or something.
I walked into the door.
Here you are inside the living room.
I'm reading a newspaper. I'm watching you read it.
It's like, what is this about? And why isn't it a song? And why do you need to be singing it at me?
And no, it's not like Les Mis. That is a pop musical that has actual songs, Ben.
Well, you know what? I'm really sorry that you feel that way. but you know what? At 24, I made my first musical, and now at 45, I'm having Yesterday do the book for my next musical that my parents do not approve of.
I'm sorry, but in my country, we were allowed to make fun of Les Miserables, so I don't understand.
I mean, you want to talk about miserables?
You should come to Afghanistan, because that's how everybody is there, because the Russians.
I'm sorry.
It's just very hard to talk about.
And like when I go home, all I like to do is eat food and then not talk about my black boyfriend that much.
That girl on the cover of Les Miserables.
I mean, at least she has like a really cute beret to wear. I didn't have any berets because my dad never let me get one because in Afghanistan,
we're not allowed to wear berets.
And he didn't want to come to America in the first place.
Like, we couldn't wear berets and we couldn't even wear sunglasses.
We couldn't even wear Ray-Bans.
Anything that had the word Ray in it, you just couldn't even have.
You couldn't even watch the comedy stylings of Ray Romano.
My mom thought I was going to try and have sex with my glasses because they were named Ray.
I was like, Mom!
Like,
I couldn't even watch the Cosby show
at a certain point because Raven
Simone was on it, and you know,
her name sounds like it has Ray
in it, but I was like, Mom, there's a V.
There's not even the word Ray.
My mom's least
favorite movie of the past 10 years has to be Ray.
So then we're having fun.
So let's cut to cancer.
Cancer, cancer.
That girl has cancer.
She's like the only person that called me after finding out I had cancer.
I mean, nobody called me.
Yeah, Chantal.
Chantal.
Chantal called her.
Look, darling, I know I have feelings.
I mean, I know I look like a show pony.
Like, oh, that's a that's a pretty apt description of yourself for being that like a sideshow pony.
Have you seen me in that musical sideshow?
Then we cut back to the lunch with Micah and Demetria.
And it was very funny because they're both shocked that they are actual human beings and have a personality.
And I like that Micah was wearing those glasses.
And Demetria said, I don't even know this Micah.
Who is this?
This Micah has glasses like the glasses just changed everything in this relationship.
So thank you, Claire's.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Now we got to get to wait. we do we forget everything do we forget everything
okay now we have to get to geneva okay we're finally allowed because i'm finally at that
point in my notes and it's a great she's she's the next ariana huffington but what she's who's
anna winter with the brain it's like really you work in journalism and that's how you want to get jobs? You've done it. Yeah, exactly.
Listen, I have worked
for magazines, newspapers,
blogs, pamphlets,
menus from Chinese restaurants.
I've worked for everything and I am
here to start. This is a business.
This is an enterprise.
This is where people donate
their money and their time and they make
we have to have Google AdWords.
It's a huge thing, getting Google Ads.
I'm like, oh my God, you're the worst.
Get a WordPress plugin, you fucking moron.
But listening to Geneva rip apart the English, her goal, okay?
I want to be brokering and shaping culture.
You're going to broker culture?
I know. Exactly. Well, I mean, just to get back to Anna Wkering and shaping culture. You're going to broker culture? I know.
Exactly.
Well, I mean, just to get back to Anna Wintour with a brain, I mean, how can you be a fashion journalist and you say something ridiculous like that?
I mean, this is a woman who has kept, you know, Vogue like at the forefront of fashion for years and years and years.
And she's like acting as if she's just some stupid intern you know who waltzed into that top job
credit to Chantal
for not laughing and leaving because
Geneva went off on this whole
thing about how I'm a woman
and I'm doing this for myself
here I go you know like she's not
starting a blog like you understand
you're starting a fucking blog right
everybody has a blog
we don't have parties
for them and uh chantal's like you know darling i'm so proud of you for get you know getting out
of the house you know doing something you know you're not just sitting around eating all day
like you're actually like doing you you're putting words onto a computer so that's a start you know
and geneva's like yeah girl i'm kicking myself in the ass. And then I'm turning around and calling myself racist.
Because who kicks themselves in the ass?
Who does that?
Only a racist would do that.
That's who.
I'm going to make this right.
I called the cops on myself because someone kicked me.
And then I realized I kicked my own ass.
And so then I arrested my leg.
Geneva is honestly one of the stupidest people I've ever seen on TV.
And I said stupidest just
to be part of your club.
A little peach.
Oh my god.
But she's so funny. Every week she does something else
so stupid. She is so
stupid. And then she's like,
oh, well, we're going to be everything.
We're going to be pop culture. You can call me.
You can call me to ask me to
where did the tail get? Or why white girls give good blow jobs chantal's like really she's like oh yeah
white girls give good head that's why their cars are all so nice they give good head it's like
she's like kicking feminism in the ass at the same time she's claiming to empower women you know it's
like everything's about how to please a man and how to give good head and blah blah blah and you
know geneva knows because geneva has very original advice to all the ladies out there.
Listen, maybe you wouldn't be so ratchet if you was getting some.
Maybe you just need to get some.
OK, bitch.
And Chantal's like, OK, yes.
What an original, fascinating article that was written before.
Have fun with that.
By the way, I have now gone on to Jawbreaker, the Jawbreaker website.
And it's called Jawbreaker.
I mean, come on.
Well, it's better than whatever it was supposed to be called.
Geneva News Daily or whatever it's called.
And I've gone on and it's a picture of Jay-Z and someone else.
I can't quite tell.
And the headline says, Dadbods?
Nope.
Oh, God.
Oh, Geneva. Oh, Geneva.
Actually, I will say this.
I'm not going to be that shady.
The site actually does look pretty good.
Well, she said she paid $15,000 to $20,000 for it.
It better look fucking good.
Yeah, exactly.
But she's an idiot.
I mean, come on.
She's an idiot.
Listen, if you're mad at your man, you probably aren't getting laid enough.
The site looks good. The site looks good.
That's the answer to everything with women anger.
They just need to get fucked by some man.
Okay, thanks a lot, feminism.
Stupid.
Yeah.
She infuriates me.
This whole show infuriated me this week.
I don't even know why, because it was kind of an innocent show, right?
I like that, by the way, on the website, it describes the site.
It says, Jawbreaker is viral, meme-worthy content informed by the energy of New York.
It's like, who calls their content meme-worthy?
It's like, hey, everyone.
It's an EVA.
Please, go ahead.
Send my stupid articles around.
God.
Do you know what a meme is?
Is it a meme site?
It's an EVA.
Meme-worthy.
Dad bods? Oh, everybody's saying that now does your have
does your husband have a dad bod and then they're putting it over a picture of a cat hanging from a
calendar um good job geneva you did it um uh blah blah blah blah blah blah and then micah goes to
visit her granny who i listen i get that it's so sad when your family dies.
Your grandma is 92.
I'm not going to watch you cry about it for five episodes, okay?
I thought it was very sweet to see this grandmother.
I think it's great to have, like, these moments, like, on camera for her family.
But I'm like, I don't need to see, like, five scenes of it.
I'm just like, okay.
Mom's telling her, honey, honey granny may die but her spirit
will live on listen heaven here's what i have to say about heaven do you know how many fucking
people are in heaven it's a nightmare up there okay i can barely live in this city with all
these people do you know how many dead fucking goody two-shoes are in heaven no thank you i
hope it's false i'd rather just die why are you so mad at the idea that granny might
go to heaven because i'm just sick of people saying that like when you get sad and when
someone's dying and people are like no heaven you're gonna see them in the afterlife no you're
not they're dead okay and it's part of living and it sucks let me fucking cry about it okay
i don't want to see her in the afterlife. That's awful. I'm not going
to heaven. I don't want to go to heaven. I've been
told my whole life I'm not going to go to heaven.
I do not need to go see that person
again in heaven. I want them back here.
Okay? Stop telling me this bullshit about
everybody going to heaven. Stop your lies.
Ronnie, you just need to find a good man
and that way
you can get into his
arms and you can say, baby, you're all that I need.
But I'm not here in your arms.
It's hard to believe.
Oh my god, that's meme-worthy.
Oh my god, that's so meme-worthy, doing a
Bryan Adams heaven riff.
You're sad about heaven?
Well, maybe you just need to get fucked then,
okay, you ratchet-ass bitch?
My parents didn't want to go to heaven,
but they had to go to heaven because they weren't allowed to stay in Afghanistan.
My parents didn't want to go to heaven because women don't have to wear shawls there, and they never asked to go to heaven in the first place.
I think that yesterday is, like, super cute, but I'm afraid to introduce him to my mom because my mom's going to start crying, and I don't want her to cry.
Praying to introduce him to my mom because my mom's going to start crying and I don't want her to cry.
I don't want to talk to my mom about yesterday because she doesn't like living in the past.
You know, it's so funny because my family's like black folk and yesterday's family is like Afghan folk.
So I don't know why we can't all get along.
They go over to her family's house and she says, my family's black people we like to sit around and eat a lot together it's like really really your family is the only like it's only afghanis
afghani families and black people that enjoy each other's company and food what the fuck are you
talking about i don't know why she's bugging me so much this episode. I know.
None of that actually really bothered me.
I think she's a total asshole.
She is an asshole, but she's no more of an asshole than anyone else on these shows.
I like her.
She's sort of like a...
I don't know.
I just find her to be very entertaining for right now.
I'm sorry I just feel that she's very entertaining.
No, you don't have to be
sorry i mean i'm being entertained by her i just think she's a total wreck like i just don't like
her i don't like the relationship with her boyfriend that they i feel bad for him like
she won't introduce him to her family but she's taking everybody else and all the cameras there
that's gotta hurt and then she's saying she's only gonna marry him when he's like making like a lot of money like basically a star a rock star a hip-hop star or whatever i just i don't like her it's not
true love i i feel like she has a black boyfriend to tell everybody like i have a black boyfriend
because that's how she acts she acts like one of those girls i don't know i think the jury's still
for me the jury's still out on that front because I know what you're saying. But, you know, I don't know.
I kind of get why she doesn't want to marry him just yet.
It's not about supporting him.
I think sometimes you just want to see, like, is this person – I believe in this person, et cetera.
But are they going to have the drive?
I sort of want them to prove themselves in
terms of like their drive and ambition. If I want to start a family with them, you know?
Well, I think I come from a different place just because my parents were not born in Afghanistan.
I'm just kidding. My parents married so young that that wasn't really part of it. And she's
older. So I can't put like a 20 year old-old's brain into this 40-whatever lady.
But I always thought romance was finding someone, falling in love, getting married, and then you do all that stuff together.
But I guess it's because the way I heard about it, my parents were married so young.
So naturally, of course, they were poor.
And then my dad figured out his way in life and whatever.
I think also maybe there could be a part of it where she's like, she does
really like him, but he is 25 and she
wants him to maybe grow up just a little bit.
Yeah, and that's valid,
but taking someone's best
years when you're just going to be
25
to 30, those are some really good
adult years. Those are some really formative
years. And if he's staying with you,
thinking that you're going to marry him, but you're only
going to marry him if he gets to a certain level,
then you've wasted his youth, basically.
You're going to waste his good
booty. That's not her fault.
That's not her fault. That's his fault. Well, it is if she
doesn't tell him that, because she's not really saying
she said that to us. I don't know if she
said it to him. She just keeps saying, yeah, we're
going to get married. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're going to get married. So, I mean, I don't know if she says
when you're famous or not. Has he proposed to her?
Well, they've said they're getting
married, so I guess so. Or maybe
they just had, you know, one of those talks on the subway
you have when you're drunk and you're like, we should get
married. Yeah. I need to learn a little
bit more about Arzo before I can start
calling her an asshole because I, I mean
she, no wait, let me take that back. I'd like
to take that back. She is an asshole. I've got to learn more to decide if she's the sort of asshole because I mean she, no wait, let me take that back. I'd like to take that back. She is an
asshole. I've got to learn more to decide if
she's the sort of asshole that I like or the sort of
asshole that I don't like. But so far I sort of like
her.
I don't like her. I think she's an asshole.
But maybe she'll be less of an asshole
next time. I change my mind every week.
I've liked her so far but this one she really
just rubbed me the wrong way. Everything
she said pissed me off.
And a lot of it is this stuff, I think, because I come from a big Lebanese family.
So I hear the same stories in my family growing up that she heard.
I mean, I know there are different places, but not really in a lot of ways, especially back then.
So I guess I come from a similar background, and it really bothers me that she uses them as an excuse for stuff like yesterday.
That's not like, listen, you're in America.
You're living on your own.
You're living away from your family.
You're not a doctor or lawyer, as was mentioned in this.
And her father's disappointed and blah, blah, blah.
It's like you're willing to go against your parents and everything except who you love, which is the most important thing.
So I'm finding her phony, and I'm
not really buying her at the moment.
I don't know, but like...
Because it matters so...
That's a fucking asshole.
But like, here's the thing though, this is...
He's a dick, and treating women like shit,
you can leave that there, okay?
Because someone in America has told him that
women have equal rights, women are not to be treated like that that and to be a dick to your own daughter and to women in
general fuck you you're old being from the old country does not excuse that everybody here is
from somewhere and we don't act like that grow the fuck up and stop acting like a misogynist what a
pig you know but the thing is this though like she's she's doing her own thing and i i get that
and so her parents know that.
That's basically what, you know, you're saying, but she can't show, like, her love.
Well, the thing is that, like, if there's someone that's really, really important to you, there are two people that are really important to you.
You've got your parents on one end, and you have a love on the other hand.
And that's, like, you know, they're both very, very important.
And it's easier to just keep them separated because you're so afraid of what will happen when they meet.
Well, it's easier for you.
Because meanwhile, you're hurting the person that you're supposed to love and you're lying to your parents.
So really, you're being the asshole.
Yeah.
But what I'm saying is she's not keeping them apart because she's like, I'm going to be an asshole and be fake.
It's just keeping them apart, I think, because of a very realistic neuroses.
It has nothing to do with...
She's dating a black guy.
They're going to fucking freak out.
Period.
But it's also part of it is...
I mean, why is anyone scared to introduce someone to their parents?
They're scared because...
It's not anyone.
It's a black guy.
If she was dating any other guy, this would not be an issue.
It's because he's a black guy.
Totally.
And probably because he's young too.
And that he's a musician or whatever probably has
something to figure into.
So given that she loves her parents
even though her parents may be
backwards, assholes, racist,
but she still loves them. She's still allowed to love them.
You can't take that away. And they're very important
to her. And she knows
that they're like this.
And then she has this other guy that she loves. And you know when you're in that situation you want your parents to prove of
the guy that you're with and you want the guy to like your parents and you want everyone to get
along as a happy family but you know in your mind that that she knows that her parents have are
racist or will could say something racist or could act in a racist way.
And so she knows that she might let them down.
She knows that yesterday
may be really put off by what her parents say
and it could be a total disaster.
And it's like that's what you don't want to happen.
And so sometimes it's not coming from
like an asshole place to keep them separated.
It's coming from a place where you're just like,
I am scared to put them both together. I know what you're saying. And I think that you're right. And that's where I think that It's coming from a place where you're just like, I am scared to put them both together.
I know what you're saying
and I think that you're right
and that's where
I think she's coming from
and that's what
she's telling herself.
What I'm saying is
at the end of the day,
you're hurting
your lover's feelings
and you're lying
to your parents.
So while you think
you're doing this
for the good thing,
at the end of the day,
whether you realize
or not,
you're being the asshole.
And I'm not saying
she shouldn't like her parents.
But she's not doing it for the good thing.
She's not doing it for the good thing. She's doing it because
she's just not strong enough. She's like
it's because it's scary.
No. Grow up. It's scary.
She's 35 or whatever. Whatever she
is. Like at some point I'm not from a
family where I've always told my
parents what they want to hear or they've always
told their parents what they want to hear. We're adults
and we make our own lives. I'm saying it's
okay for her to go against her parents on everything
else but this and I just
Because the other things are not as
it's just
different when it comes to relationships.
Okay, so I'm in an interracial relationship.
Okay, so my parents
are not racist and my boyfriend
is not sensitive and yet
when it came time for them to meet i was
super nervous because i was afraid that maybe my parents might say something accidentally
um like racist or maybe my boyfriend might like take something the wrong way it's like you go
into an irrational place and it's like it's fills you with anxiety and i didn't think i was being
like for me i mean it's not that i really put it off that long but like you know I
didn't think I was being an asshole and I don't think it's coming from an asshole place if I had
an instinct to like not want to introduce them immediately but I'm not talking about you no no
I know I was gay fairly recently no no no hugely brave and that's a huge deal I'm not be able to
talk to you with your family I know but wait but I'm not discussing I'm not saying you're saying
that about me but what I'm saying is I know that feeling and the difference is that like arzo does have
a much more extreme situation of like a racist parent whatever etc etc so like all i'm saying
is i understand why she probably has extreme anxiety and i don't think it's you know maybe
it is being harmful you know on on certain levels But I don't think that like the first my first thought is not like what an asshole she is.
My first thought is, oh, like I like I understand like I understand the anxiety.
I see the difference between the two things you just told me.
Is it a you don't lie to your parents and you did tell them you haven't been in this relationship for very long.
This is new. You told them fairly quickly.
I told them about anxiety about it or not isn't really the same because this girl isn't telling.
This is someone she's going to marry.
She's saying she's going to marry this guy.
She got herself into a hole because now it's a year and a half in.
I mean I told my parents.
You told your parents.
I mean that's a huge difference.
It's like you're standing up for her, but at the same time you didn't do what she did.
I know, but I'm saying.
You understand the anxiety, but the difference is you had the balls to confront it and do something about it.
Well, the difference is that she also has...
And make everybody okay with each other and make everybody happy, and she doesn't.
She also has very...
Sounds like she has very controlling, overbearing parents, you know?
And that's why I don't have...
Well, she does, but, you know, grow up.
I mean...
But what I'm saying is you're calling her an asshole.
You learn how to say fuck you to your mom.
You'll get spanked, but you learn to be a rebel.
And I guess you just didn't have that.
I just don't think you – I don't think – call her an asshole for various things.
She may be doing things that might be hurtful.
But if this is the reason why you're calling her an asshole, I don't know.
I just don't – I don't agree.
It's one of them.
Yeah, I don't like it.
She's an asshole.
I think it's funny to be with somebody and saying you're going to marry them, but then you won't even, you know, have the balls to stand up to your dad.
Because her dad, listen, my grandfather was like her father, who's very old school, very like, why aren't you going to college?
Why aren't you going to be a doctor or a lawyer?
Why aren't you in real estate?
What are you doing with your life?
And, you know, women should be in the kitchen.
Like my grandpa said that the only difference is that we would say, don't say that.
Women have equal rights.
They don't do that.
Grandma's not here to work for you.
Well, you can see.
I'm gay.
You can see where she's, you can see where Arzo has been sort of like messed up by this rearing a little bit.
And I'm not saying what she's doing is right and okay and that she should live this double life for as long as she wants.
She has gotten herself into a hole.
Don't get me wrong.
She is now, the longer it goes on, the harder it gets to say these things.
And so she is, she is sort of screwed.
But I mean, it's also, I mean, look at anyone who's like, you know, like gay in the closet
and they're not ready to tell their parents yet, you know, that they have a gay lover.
It's not that, it's not really that different.
I mean, you wouldn't be like, oh, well, that guy is an asshole. They didn't tell their parents yet you know that they have a gay lover it's not that it's not really that different i mean you wouldn't be like oh well that guy's an asshole they didn't tell his parents yet you you know you'd be like well you'd say we're with if they were with the gay lover and
we're gonna marry them and they were in a committed relationship yes i most certainly would say that
they're an asshole well if they were if they were getting married but like but arzo arzo and
yesterday are talking about marriage but they're not engaged that's very different you're gonna marry me right and she said yeah but that's one that's but that's
like isn't that being engaged no that's no that's just that's talking that's like planning that's
planning that's like watching the animal kingdom i don't get that even though we can get married
planning no i think that like what i what i'm saying is uh it's hurtful it's hurtful but i
don't think it's the same as hiding your black boyfriend. I just don't see
it as being the same thing.
Being in the closet is something, who you
are. That's telling your parents who you are.
Blah, blah, blah.
Hiding your lover, whether you're gay or straight.
Having someone you love
and shielding them from your family
because you don't want to get in trouble
is putting your own interests
before your lovers and your families, frankly. That's just how I think of it. I get that you're not want to get in trouble is putting your own interests before your lovers
and your families frankly that's just how i think of it like i get that you're not gonna agree but
no no no listen if coming out of the closet is telling someone who you are coming out of the
closet and saying you have a you have a boyfriend and you've had a boyfriend for a year and a half
is the same thing as saying like guess what for the past year and a half i've been dating a black
guy to like racist parents where it's like it's like a shock to the system to them, perhaps.
I don't think it's that.
But either way, all I'm saying is, is it the healthiest way to go about it?
Absolutely not.
Should she tell her parents?
Yeah, because it's only going to get worse.
And is it hurtful to yesterday?
Probably, yes.
But is this all stemming from an asshole asshole place i don't think it's something
from an asshole place it's stemming from a weak insecure place that's doing damage it's doing
damage so it's not just that it's my family's like black people or well that's yeah that's
different that's different boyfriend girls like that make me crazy i don't care if you have a
black boyfriend i don't care if you think your family is similar to black people. Comparing yourself to black people is stupid and ignorant,
and she's old enough to know better. And black people do not have the same history in our country
that refugees from Afghanistan have. And it's ridiculous to compare your issues or your problems
or anything about yourself to black people and the struggles that
black people have gone through because you have a black boyfriend in general that you're so proud
of to bring up in front of your friends when you're in a fight but you won't bring home to
tell your parents i find her to be just a hypocrite and an asshole sorry well no i mean that is that
is an area where i do agree with you a little bit more, where she seems very at ease and very happy
sort of being in this post-racial
space where she says, you know,
it's like black people are Italians.
You can make her hip that she's dating some young black
hip-hop star and she can use that as a card.
When she's being a social card with her
friends, it's great. But, you know,
otherwise, oh no, my dad
would be so mad.
Fuck your dad. And look at your dad telling you oh she could
have been dr lawyer and meanwhile like look at your mother how happy she is his mom's like doing
the dishes behind her i was like shut up she's crying literally crying and i'm so sick of people
getting an excuse because they're from the old country to be sexist racist assholes i'm sick i
agree with that i wasn't thinking that too anymore welcome that like a bitch yeah i mean i i do think like it is like i didn't mind when she's i mean i'm a white person so what
do i know but like when she says no we're like black people or italians i know what she was
going for there where like she i knew she wasn't saying she wasn't comparing their plights at that
moment she was comparing she's saying we're minorities no no no no at that moment she was
talking about like the cultural like this this the idea of like big family gatherings, you know, like, you know, no, I know what she meant there. But I know, but I know what you're saying, though, when she's acting all when she's acting all post racial saying is offensive, or she doesn't, she doesn't understand why it would be offensive. You know, she heard me saying that she'd be like, what's the big deal? What's the big deal with saying black people, black families like hanging out and eating? They do.
It is okay in certain contexts to say something like this.
Like, this reminds me of a black something or another.
You know, it's not like we can't act like there aren't black cultural things that happen.
You know, like, you can't be so afraid.
But I will say when she's constantly comparing herself to black people because she's on a black show and saying she has a black boyfriend.
She's just rezzubs me the wrong way.
Yeah, no, that's that is, I think, her weakest, her weakest aspect.
I mean, it happened the first time we saw her when she's talking to the girls and she's like, yeah, and, you know, like, I have a black boyfriend.
So like, that's bad.
Just I just I mean, it's all adding up to be annoying.
And I did feel for her a little when she was in the in her parents house and her dad was
saying, oh, you know, she's my smartest kid, but she's done nothing i wanted her to do she's not a doctor
and she's not a lawyer and she's standing back there meekly going well you know i'm supporting
myself in new york and fashion and and and culture you know saying keywords that she knows are going
to piss him off but at the same time being kind of victimy about it i'm like what are you doing it's like you're purposely ha i don't it's it frustrates me when
you're standing up for every area of your life except one it just but it's bugging the shit out
of me with her i can't stop you need to tell your dad to stop being a sexist fucking pig stop it's gross uh well i'm like she should
absolutely and she should be uh like above deck with all her relationships and stuff with her
family but and she does like thank god i wasn't raised in you know i mean if thank god i was
raised in america because i mean if i did some of these things you know in my country i'd be stone
like laughing and i'm like that's funny
except that someone was probably stoned today like i don't just she just rubs me the wrong way i don't
think she's funny i think she's a fucking asshole i mean it's like i said before i mean she definitely
says asshole things but i like her i i like her i think she's i think she's like funny i mean we
are descendants of muhammad okay I know how to uphold that.
I'm like, are you even wearing a bra while you're saying that?
Like, are you even hearing yourself like she's sitting here in full makeup and some slutty outfit on TV talking about being a prophet or a descendant of Muhammad?
Really?
Do you know what that religion?
Like, are you aware of women's rights and what you're supposed to be doing?
Religions like are you aware of women's rights and what you're supposed to be doing?
And now you're talking about upholding Muhammad's name while you're in fucking fashion and like having sex with somebody that you're not married. And basically every aspect of your life is a modern American woman's life, which goes against pretty much.
And we could say this about any Bible, by the way, before this becomes about religion.
any Bible, by the way, before this becomes about religion. I'm just saying when you bring something about religion and you're sitting there looking kind of like a hole while you're fucking some guy
you're not married and blah, blah, blah. It's just hypocrisy to me. It's like, yeah, you're a
descendant of Muhammad's. Your religion is so important that you're not really following it at
all. Like, what is this an excuse not to tell your dad? Like, I don't get it. She's just she just
rubs me. It's like, oh, if I can't use my black boyfriend, I'll use the descendants of Mohammed thing
or where I'm from or being a refugee or something else
instead of just having balls.
And yet, when all the women get together
and Chantel wants to go to the bathroom
and then Arzo says, okay, and when you get back,
maybe you can tell everyone how you call me an Afghan hound,
it makes me crack up.
And I just, I think she's hilarious.
Yeah, me too.
I liked her last week.
It's like, I know, you know what, Ronnie?
I understand everything you're saying and you're making very compelling points.
But it doesn't change the fact that I am enjoying her.
No, I know.
And I like it.
Because all these women on all these shows are assholes.
And they all do things that are hypocritical. And they all do things that are like, they say stupid things, they do stupid things, and they are constantly...
Well, I like that we can just talk and argue and argue, and it's no big deal.
We can just have an opinion.
Because some friends are just like, Ronnie was mean to me.
It's like, no, I mean, I have an opinion.
Yeah.
Although you should know, Ronnie, you have been disinvited from Settlers of Catan this week.
That's good, because you know that just leads to pain anyway.
But I really loved when we were doing that other podcast last week with Lynette and Stephanie.
And Lynette at one point, because it was kind of like this argument where we were talking about something and not agreeing.
And I was like, oh, fuck her.
And you're like, no, well, the understanding part.
And Lynette said, Ben, you know what?
You're really like a good person.
She's like, you're like an empathetic one.
You really are like really good at like thinking about someone else's perspective.
And we both kind of stopped and she just stopped and like looked away.
I was like, yeah, that's right, bitch, because he is a nice one.
No, I'm not the nice
one i'm just oh my well you are though you're very you're much more understanding i mean i'm
very cut and dry like if somebody like that bugs me in my mind now she's an ignorant racist using
a black guy for her own good and taking sexism from her father and using religion um in an
argument where she has no right to like i'm taking, I've turned her into such an awful human being in my head
that actually hearing you say, you know, the other side of it,
I'm like, oh, okay, maybe I'm just being an asshole.
So it's good.
It's okay.
You're allowed to.
It's reality TV.
If there's any place where you're allowed to have a very, like,
impassioned opinion about someone, it's reality TV.
So even though I think arzo's
hilarious and she talks like a californian so much and she says ridiculous things all the time
and like and you know like things that would make you want to punch her in the face i still
think that she's like highly entertaining whereas you like for instance like you know how you love
like the women on like atlanta like you you always are saying like you hate nini hate nini but you think she's so entertaining like
i don't even find her entertaining i can't stand it yeah so just yeah it's fun we're all
on this particular subject we both found stuff from our personal lives like you and your boyfriend
and just coming out in general and then me with being from a family like that where i'm so
infuriated to see my uncles basically sitting
there and not you know not the old country uncles and like my grandfather who obviously i love very
much and loved when they were all around so it's not that i hated them or anything but i see that
and i grew up around people talking like that and putting you down because you're not doing
like what are you doing you're selling fucking used furniture like really you're
going to judge what I'm doing with my life
so I get mad based on
personal stuff that I'm taking from my own
life where I'm like I don't care if you're from the old country
that does not excuse racism so
a lot of that is me yelling at my own family
as a teenager you know
not everyone's as strong as you or I
with somebody like that at the same time
on different levels.
We should have Arzo on and see you two battle it out over old country politics.
Personal politics. Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't battle it out.
I'd just say what I said to you.
And tell her she's a pussy if she's not going to stand up to her dad.
That's a big thing when you're from a family with controlling men like that.
Because in their country, they really are the boss.
They really do everything. Women do die. If they look at another man they can die yeah you know it's not a
joke and so when they come to this country with that shit and start the oh you're not going to
get married to to the girls in the family you're like they don't care that you graduated from
harvard they care that you're not married or you can't keep a boyfriend it's just so gross
and i know that that's the way they grew up.
But listen, you know, a lot of our grandparents grew up with racism
and a lot of horrible shit that we're not going to put up with now.
And I think that that should extend to immigrants as well.
I don't think that some immigrants should get off with racist comments
and sexist comments because they're from another country.
Fuck that.
Welcome to America.
If you can enjoy our target, you can enjoy our rules against racism and sexism.
Okay?
Biatch.
Okay.
Okay.
Girl, my Tempur-Pedic mattress is waiting for me.
Well, this was a feisty.
Welcome to America where we have Tempur-Pedic mattresses and we're trying to stomp out racism.
This was a feisty, feisty way to end the podcast.
Who would have thought Blood, Sweat, and Heals would get into steep social issues?
Lord knows I didn't.
Well, we have been talking for three hours.
So I think it's time to just settle down and finish up the episode.
I actually feel really good.
Thank you.
I've needed to yell for days.
I've just had that energy where I'm just pissed off and feel so good. It feels like a workout for my hatred. So thank you I've needed to yell for days I've just had that energy where I'm just pissed off and
it feels so good it feels like
a workout for my hatred
good I'm glad you got to flex those muscles
so everyone if you want
to read more rants from Ronnie
you can go to TrashTalkTV.com
or TrashTweetTV
all our social media is on
WatchWhatCrapHands.com and join us on
Facebook, Facebook.com forward slash watch
what crappens support us on patreon and if you support us you can listen to the bonus episode
this week which again is all about avengers and a little bit about floyd mayweather and manny pacquiao
um all that fun stuff pretty much everything that happened on saturday and um we did not talk about
umami burger i'm surprised that didn't come up. Oh, when I had to send back my burger,
when they made me two burgers that were way overcooked
and they even brought a third burger,
and I was like, just stop.
Because umami burger is over.
No, it's still gray in the middle.
Get out of here with your umami burger.
How do you overcook two burgers
when the only thing you have to do is make burgers?
Yeah, your restaurant is based on burgers, for Christ's sake, people.
Mommy burger.
Like, why?
Go to Stout.
Go to Stout.
Seriously.
So, anyway, thanks, Ronnie,
and we will be back on Thursday with Michelle Collins.
Yeah!
Thanks, everyone.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
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