Watch What Crappens - #2319 RHOM: Pride and Prejudiced

Episode Date: February 9, 2024

The Real Housewives of Miami (S06E15) resumes with the most chaotic gondola ride in human history, followed by a gay pride celebration (natch), and finally Kiki baring her soul to Lisa, who, unsurprisingly, is awful about it!  To watch the video version of this recap and for this week’s Summer House trailer bonus episode, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. And grab both live and streaming tickets for the 2024 Golden Crappies Awards Feb 17 at watchwhatcrappens.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously, but hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crappings, the podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the wonderful and hilarious Ronnie. Karim.

Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Hello. How's it going? Good. How are you? Good. We are here to talk real housewives of Miami.

Amazing episode. Another amazing episode. Before we do that real quickly, pretty much like a week away, Golden Crappies on February 17th come to the show. It's at the Golden Palace, very different concept. At the Palace Theater of Downtown Los Angeles, February 17th, you can get tickets at watchcrappies.com.

If you can't make it, you can always stream it by also going to watchcrapins.com. You get your streaming key there from moment. Thank you to our friends at moment for arranging that. We want everyone to be able to join if possible, whether it's live or virtually. And of course you have to vote, you know, voting matters for the crappies

because what you all vote on is who is going to win the golden crappies this year as usual. So go have your voice heard. The ballot is also at watchacrappens.com. So go check that out. And of course, join us here on Patreon where you can watch the podcast, not just listen to it with crappies on demand, you get access to our bonus episode. This week on the bonus episode, we did a trailer trash of the new summer house trailer that came out maybe about a week or two ago. We had a lot of fun with that one. Summer house is coming back. So definitely go check out, listen to or even better yet watch our bonus episode. You can watch the trailer along with us. So that's it for that. Let's dive into this Miami episode. This was quite the episode.

This show is so good, such a good show. What did you think, Ronnie? This show is bizarre and I fucking love it. I was talking to a friend yesterday who doesn't watch this show and I was like, why? Why wouldn't I? It's amazing. It's the most cartoonishly crazy of all of them, I think.

And that's some competition. They've got some competition. Does your friend watch cartoonish? They're the brightest, most colorful clothing. And I was just crazy. I love this. And it's a straight woman, by the way, my friend. And so I'm wondering if that's what it is. Like, is this something that's like more attuned to the gaze

because we're we're easily distracted by bright colors and patterns. Did she watch other Bravo shows? Yeah, she watches a few of the Housewives, but she's like, oh, I don't watch because I said something like, oh my God, Miami's insane tonight. And she's like, oh, I don't watch that one. That's wild. I think that like people, they have their Housewives shows and it's hard to get them to add more because people are not necessarily like us where we just watch everything on'm Bravo people watch Some housewife shows I'll watch some other shows so they can't take on so many housewife shows, but the truth is Miami has been like just outstanding and I guess if you're listening to this and you don't watch Miami

There's probably not a lot of people that just listen to this and don't watch Miami But if for some reason you are that person, you should watch Miami because it is really so, so good. And tonight's episode was really, you know, no exception. It began with this gondola ride. Last episode, we already had a big chunk of the gondola ride, which was already pretty deranged, but also had this major argument with Kiki and Lisa, wherein Lisa was throwing bread from the gondola at dogs, you know,

on the side of the canal. And she's like, Oh, well, it's better than anything that they're fed. I can guarantee you that. And Kiki's like, what the fuck? Cause Kiki was raised in Haiti and, you know, in a, in very, you know, uh, like a impoverished or, I don like a impoverished or I don't know if that's, I don't know if that's the right word to use, but like she was, she grew up in similar circumstances, she said.

And so it's like really triggering for her to hear Lisa say this. So we had all that energy just going into this episode. So this show is not shy. I don't want to, it's not guys are we being insensitive right now? They take one clip of somebody going, oh my God, it's a dead baby. Okay, they take that and they play it, I think 10 times in the next two minutes.

Okay, so it opens with someone going, dead baby, dead baby. And then the guy pushing the gondola is like, this is what happened. There was a man who saw a young person down, drown, trying to catch chicken. And then he put dolls in the tree so the spirit could play. But then the spirit fell out of the tree and died. And they realized spirits can still die from great heights.

So then there were other spirits worried about that spirit. And then they just kept putting dolls to make the spirits feel better. Meanwhile, it's the creepiest thing ever, you know? It's like terrifying to look at and stuff. And Lars is like, guys, what did he like say like guys? Like, what the fuck did he say like? I don't know Spanish, but like, did he say he misses Marcus?

me too, I love how he's telling like a serious story the man he saw a Child die in the river and he put up dolls that way the spirit could play what the fuck did he say? What the fuck is he saying? And then we hear again and we see close-ups of these creepy dolls and Julia's crying. And Alexi is like, listen, I know it's disturbing, but it's part of the culture. Okay? This is like the first time I saw Peter hit a homeless person.

I said, you know what? It is not good to look at, but it's part of his culture. He's an artist. You know, he's an artist. He's a citizen of Peter. And that's just how it goes. So we're not just passing by this island of dolls. The boat has actually stopped there and it's like a bathroom break at the island of the dolls.

And so Julia's like, I'm not going to get off this gondola. She doesn't even want to look. She's looking the other way. And Marisol's like, well, I'm going to run through the sea of creepy dolls because I have to go to the bathroom so bad. You know, it's a lot being an icon for the gays, am I right? I can't believe we're taking Julia to this place. Brow, brow, I think Brow hired the wrong concierge for this bone ride.

It's like a Vincent Price movie. It's like a Mattel Graveyard. And then Adriana goes with her and she's like, you know what? I'm creeped out, but my bladder is stronger than my fear. So gotta be. I love how Marisol is always making old timey references. She's like, oh, it's like a Vincent Price movie. Well, so are we.

I mean, I almost made that comment, but I was like, we've, I think, talked about Judith Light 12 times this week. Yes, but we're not trying to be young and hip. There's Marisol's like, look at me. I got the new was proud on. I'm young and chic. I'm like that lady in the Vincent Price movie. Remember that picture?

She makes like another reference somewhere in here. I forgot what it was, but she's like, well, she's more, he is more pot. Adriana at Gay Pride has more fans than Frankie Avalon. Here's my question. What would teeny others think about that? Ha ha ha ha ha ha. So now Lisa goes with them to pee

and there's really scary horror music playing and there's beheaded dolls everywhere and Mariusel's like oh my god, it smells like death. I'm okay. Is this upside down dead baby supposed to be comforting to me? Good And Lars is like a hug my hand on my hand. I'm scared. I'm scared like not by the dolls I'm just scared of the thought that it's already been 48 hours since I've last seen Marcus That's scary. Yeah, I'm just like scared like cuz there's like so many faces here and none of them are Marcus I Tried to do a podcast with that doll and it wasn't fun Adriana is very very

What do you call it when you can sense things? Not clairvoyant, but sensitive. Like she's very sensitive. She goes, this is giving me horrible vibes. Yeah, I think that's the point. Okay, I don't think it's just you. I don't think you're an empath in this moment. Yeah, yeah. I don't think that like dirt cover,

decapitated baby doll heads are anything but horrible. Otherwise, I believe American Girl place would probably look like this. And Lisa's walking around taking video on her phone. She's like, this is weird. This is weird. Look at all of these poor babies, literally poor. These are babies that didn't wait until cheat day. It's like these babies who never learned how to manage their money.

These are all of Lenny's exes. So, um, wait, that sounds like I made it sound like Lenny's dating babies. That's, that's, no, I think I walked that one back. So Adriana and Marisol, they then they go into like a room that's like full of dolls, cause every, every step theyisol, they then they go into like a room that's like full of dolls. Cause every, every step they take, they just wind up in deeper, deeper doll land. And Adriana's like, you can smell the evil in the air.

I'm like, well, that's not nice to say so close to Larissa. I can still hear you. So Adriana goes into this little shack and it's got decapitated baby heads in jars with like fluid in the, I mean it's just so creepy and there's a guy in there and she's like, um, so this place probably gives a bad impression because it scares people with the dolls, no? Yes, that's the point. Yeah.

So you think she's like, goes into a haunted house. You know what this house could probably sell for more? If it wasn't so scary, maybe get the blood off the walls No, you're not like you shouldn't be trying to scare people and the producer says was evil smell like by the way She's like cat piss So the guy is like so yeah people come here to do witchcraft that bruh area She's like bruh area. Oh my god. He's like, yeah, some of the dolls there eye color will change or this one opens its mouth sometimes.

And this one changes its face entirely. Again, Larissa's right there. She's right there. Yeah, the one we're with is gonna marry Michael Jordan's son probably. He's like, oh, the ultimate Bruhariah. Back on the boat, Julie's like, I want nothing to do with this place.

So she's hating this, right? And she starts freaking out and sobbing every time she looks at it. And so the other girls are coming back, right? They're trying to finish peeing or whatever. And meanwhile, this just starts going worse and worse on the gondola. Julie just keeps looking because they're just sitting there, you know?

Yeah. And every time she looks, she re-triggers herself, so she starts crying. So Alexa is crying. Don't wait for Adriana. They're all, by the way, they're all waiting. They can't leave because Adriana's taking her sweet ass time, walking through this island and Julia is like spiraling because it's so triggering. So then Julia's sobbing and Larsa goes, what?

What happened? And Mary's like, um, what happened? There's dead babies everywhere. That's what happened. I know. Mary's almost like, yeah, she's like, that baby's all over this place. This is so dark.

This show is so fucking dark. And then it's still making us laugh even though it's dark. What do you mean what happened, you dumb ass? There's dead babies hanging from trees. Julia's like, this is not like the gondola rides I was expecting, like the ones in Venice. Look, Lisa cannot stop herself for just walking somewhere and being like, that reminds me of Rome.

I know. And Alexia is crying. She's like, David, oh, please take us, take us. So, uh, Adriana finally shows up and she's like, well, I don't, she's walking slowly because she's like, well, I don't, please take us, take us. So Adriana finally shows up and she's like, well, I don't, she's walking slowly because she's like, well, I don't want to twist my ankle because, you know, she has issues with her ankles on vacations apparently. So then Gertie, she's like, I don't know what's happening.

All I know is that I've been triggered. Is it the altitude? Is it the crazy that island? Is it these girls? I'm like, it's the fact that you're wasted. And yes, you have altitude sickness and you're dehydrated. That's what's happening. So now she's feeling sick.

So I go, oh my god, now Gertie's feeling sick and Julia's still sobbing. And everyone's like slowly starting to freak out. And then Lisa goes, yeah, that's why he getting on yachts. You can never get off. And so Adriana is like now now hugging Julia and Julia is like, I just want to see duck. I just want to see duck.

So they're like, there's a duck. And I just goes Julia, look, it's a baby duck. Nicole's like, um, you think that's a leaf? I when I tell you that I let out the biggest guffaw, that Larsa confused a baby duck, like a leaf for a baby duck, because that's like a crappens joke. Like, oh my God, look at that baby duck. Ah, that is a leaf.

But it was, they actually showed it, they're like, not a duck, it was a leaf. A Marisa goes, it's not a duck. Well, okay, what's next on the itinerary, Alexi? Are we gonna have dinner in a cemetery or something? They're like, yeah, maybe stop planning things, Alexia. Jesus. Look at other ducks in these trees.

It's like out of control, like. Mm-hmm. Like, I also just wanna say, like when Lisa said, that's why I hate, this is why I hate going on yachts because you can never go off, that sentence is so wild to me, like in the middle of this madness. It's like and this is why I choose not to go on yachts Well first of all You know when you're gonna see dead babies hanging up

It's just such a wild thing to say also by the way Don't shoot yourself in the foot for being on a Below Deck episode, because you know she'd be a nightmare primary guest. She'd be hilarious. Oh yeah, she's gonna be the worst. She'd be throwing chicken breasts at the staff. So now they're like, Gertie starts to throw up.

So Gertie needs to throw up. So like, where are we gonna do, what are we gonna do for Gertie? When she's the boss. Get her a bow. Get her a bow. Get her a bow, Gertie's gonna throw up. I think it was Kiki. And then all of a sudden Nicole just has this enormous trash bin that comes out of nowhere.

I don't know how, where they're hiding stuff on this gondola also. So she has this enormous bin for Gertie and Gertie is just sort of like, Gertie's like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, I'm nauseous, I'm nauseous, oh God, I feel not good, I don't feel good. Like, quiet, quiet, quiet. So, yeah, she's trying to, she's barfing. Julia's trying to be quiet. I'm just trying to stop sobbing.

Everyone's trying to comfort her and then it gets quiet. No music is playing. It's just creepy as hell. And then we hear, and the fucking Mariachi band is coming on another boat. Well, Gertie is just trying to have silence and like just some piece of the way she has to throw up all of a sudden The mariachi band comes out of nowhere on this on this canal That comes right up to the boat and it just starts playing like this is like oh my god poor software everybody there's mariachi let's let's change the mood here she's like hi I'm in

music too I'm like the Beyonce of Mexico okay there's a dog on the mariachi gondola that starts barking and gritty just starts to puke into the beat Lisa's probably throwing sandwiches at the dog it needs to eat. I care about animals. So Gertie's barfing and Mary so goes,

Oh, well, they're very talented. Guys, we have to get Gertie off this book now. Barf, barf, more barfing. Lise is taking selfies with the Mariachi band. She's like, hold on everyone. This is also why I don't like yachts. The Mariachi band can't reach you. Guys, the Mariachi band can't reach you.

Guys, the Mariachi band's got a goal. Go, just go, get out of here. So they leave and Gertie's barfing more. And so now they're screaming for a doctor. And finally they get to the dock so they can all get off this boat. It's pure fucking chaos. And so Gertie's out there now barfing on the dock. And they're like, oh my God,

we have to get her to a hospital. This is getting really bad. They're carrying her, you know. And they're like, oh my God, we have to get her to a hospital. This is getting really bad. They're carrying her, you know? And Lisa's like, wait a minute. Did anybody see a lip gloss? Very important. Stop everything. Lip gloss, anyone?

I don't have another one. I don't have another lip gloss. This is the last one that Lenny gave me. And now I'm on my own. Ah! Can someone call me an ambulance? I can't find my lip gloss. Did the dog take my lipgloss?

I said throw food at the dog, not lipgloss, I have my limits. I told you those poor people would steal from me. Can someone call the Mariachi band? I'd like to speak with the Mariachi manager. Did you steal my lipgloss? Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards,

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If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey.

And I'm Consciously. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February Black History Mom. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're gonna hear a little less

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starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Black is beautiful. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crap in's commercial. So, Alex is now screaming for the doctor and she's grossed out because Gertie really is just barfing and barfing. Right. Gertie is like on a bench now.

She's like on a bench on the side. And Nicole, of course, is tending to her because Nicole is a doctor. And she's like, OK, well, can you drink something? Like, why don't we get her something with like a little bit of sugar and salt? And my cell goes, let's get her a milkshake. They've got milkshakes right there. Yes. That's exactly, you know what? When my friends have had too much alcohol and are suffering from altitude

sickness, the very first thing I think of is let's get them a milkshake. That's going to go down real well. Don't you think that's just like when, when people grew up? I mean, cause I feel like my parents are like that. It's like when I was sick, I'd be like, Oh my God, mommy, I don't feel good. I'm barfing. And she's like, you know what you need? A cigarette and a bottle of wine. I'm fixin' everything.

Listen, nothing will make you feel better than Dr. Franzio, okay? I'm sorry preschool didn't go well, but you'll be fine. Listen, I remember well in an old Ethel Merman picture when someone got sick at the theater, we had to get them a milkshake and everything was better. So then Gertie is in the ambulance now and Nicole's with her.

And she's like, I need Russell, I need Russell, call Russell, no, only on FaceTime, only on FaceTime. So he's laughing because it's like, here's Gertie. You know, she goes out of town and She's calling me with completely done up like our hair is all gorgeous and she's in a fucking ball gown in an ambulance Like I'm dying, you know and like very obviously wasted too by the way I feel like that's like shoes wasted in that ambulance And by the way the reason why they imagine this these be these ladies being married to one of these crazy real housewives, you know, it's like, I'm calling you.

Like, even when she's in like real medical trauma, because she's got her cancer stuff going on right now, you know, she's got real stuff going on. And you've still got a fucking laugh because she's just so her. Exactly. And by the way, the reason why the ambulance was there was because Alexia did the classic Alexia thing. When, when they were saying, you know what, don't get the milkshake. She's not keeping anything down. And Alexia goes, oh my God, oh my God.

She, when they say, when they say like, don't give her anything, call 911, call 911, call 911. She's always ready to call 911. So Nicole tells us, you know, Gordy's been doing to going through a lot. We're at high altitude. We haven't been drinking a lot of water. It really seems like she's dehydrated and we need to check her vital signs, get her hooked up to some some vital fluid, and hopefully she'll get better and be able to

help me pick out a wall texture for Anthony afterwards. So then basically she's gonna be I think okay. They're like making fun of stuff. So then everyone else goes back to the hotel to get into glam, cause it's a vacation episode. So there's 10 glam scenes per episode. So Adriana is nervous because it's the Pride Festival. This is the largest Pride concert.

It's Beyonce level. This is Rihanna level. This is like super bull half time level. Yes. And just as a reminder, Adriana, you're singing one song to a track. So let's chill out. So she's just like, she's like this saying this,

this is the moment she's been dreaming up since she was a little girl. And you know, Amelia has made careers of great singers and she cannot let him let down whatsoever. And then Kiki is calling her mom and daughter and she's like mommy got you new dinosaurs. Okay she doesn't care. That's summer. And then everyone's getting ready and Julia's speaking to Martina on the phone and saying how she's been kissing so many of the girls. She goes, and she's like, I'm turning everyone lesbian. Just kidding.

And Martina goes, huh, well, you're going to get a toaster in the mail if that happens. Uh, they what? Toaster? Is that the same as goat? Well, we used to joke that if you turned enough people lesbian, you'd get a toaster in the mail, honey. But why would they get toaster from the lesbian committee? Oh, are you a lesbian committee? It's not a real thing. Toaster happens, are not the real? No, toasters are real, lesbian committee is not real.

I'm confused. So Gertie is doing her own glam, which is refreshing. And then Nicole comes to check on her and she's feeling great now, you know, because she had her intravenous, whatever fluids. And so she feels great. And basically, I don't know, it's glam. It's a glam moment. So then in Lisa's glam, she's like, oh my God, I can't believe what happened to me

yesterday. I got a juice box thrown at me. She's literally saying this. I me yesterday. I got a juice box thrown at me. She's literally saying this. She's like, I can't believe I had a juice box thrown at me. I thought she was gonna say, I can't believe what happened yesterday. I was really drunk. I can't believe I got into a fight with Kiki over something so stupid.

But she's like, I can't believe she threw a juice box at me. Not even my toddler's done that. All I did was feed dogs. They looked hungry. What do you mean not even your toddler's done that? We've seen your kids running through the house with like that big, that big old gun that shoots like the nerf things.

I guarantee there have been many projectiles going towards Lisa's erection. Yeah. I hate violence, which is why I bought my children toy guns to constantly shoot the mouse. Call of Duty Junior Edition. Like, I mean, I'm not a prude. I'm not someone like, I can't believe the children are playing these games.

But she literally, like every time we saw that sweet child, he was playing like Call of Duty and running around the house with a Nerf gun. Yeah. Alexia in her room, she's talking to Kiki and she's like, oh no, she's telling Mary so that she spoke with Kiki about yesterday. And then we see a clip of that. And Kiki being like, listen, you know, when she was talking about the dogs not having good food and her having better dogs and what the food,

you know, that was triggering. I didn't like that. And Alexia, I hate when people do this. You know what, you know what, you know what? You're both right and you're both wrong. That's Alexia's way of saying know what? You know what? You're both right and you're both wrong. That's Alexia's way of saying, I actually was not listening to you. I think that's Alexia saying like, you're completely right, but I'm friends with Lisa

longer and so I'm not going to go against Lisa for you. Good luck. That could be that too. So, so then Alexia is talking to Marisol and she's like, oh yeah, well, you know, Kiki was saying that she's like, oh yeah, well, you know, Kiki was saying that she's like she thinks Lisa's so entitled and when she speaks to people like she thinks it's all about her world and Marisol's like, well, you know what? She needs to get ungrumped sort of like

Catherine Hepburn getting into a skirt once in a while. Am I right? Oh my god What did you say ungrumped because I thought you said Grinder. They sound exactly the same. Isn't that hilarious? I said something gay. It's a gay pride day. But you know what? Grinder, Grumpth, they're both right and they're both wrong. So then that's my app, Grumpth. I would be on that one.

I'm not really on Grinder, but I would be on Grumpth if I could just go on there and find people to be angry with. I'll go on Grinder. Now let me tell you something else I hate. Long check out lines. Just everyone's aunt. Let's get off on complaining about things. So now they all show up in the lobby and Julia. There's a grumpy person seven feet away from you.

I'm like, oh yes. Someone just got annoyed about something five feet away. So, Julia comes down to the lobby and she has a sign that says, Viva Adriana, but she's misspelled Adriana's name and everyone is like laughing about it because she's supposed to be Adriana's best friend. But at least she made her a sign, none of us did that. Blink in Spanish, blink us did that blink in Spanish blink in Spanish blink in Spanish and then everyone gathers and They go to gay pride. It's time to go to gay pride and Adriana's like oh my god

The organizer told me it's 200,000 people. It's gonna be on Telamundo. This is crazy And then Gertie comes down and they're cheering for her. And then Lisa comes down and she's like, oh, gosh, should I sit over there? And Mary Soul says, Mexicanke on this boss, well, don't give her a dirty look while you're doing. She's like, well, I just don't want drama. I had the emotional day of my life yesterday.

Please, no violence against me. Please. Do you know what it's like to have a small box of Apple and Eve thrown sort of to your hip area? Horrifying! So they get to this plaza and it's really big and there's like a lot of stuff that's like blocks and blocks and blocks of people.

They go to the VIP area. I love they go to the VIP tent and it's just like a tent that has two tables in it with some like rainbow fans on it. And I was like, wow, what a great VIP experience. And Lisa's like, all right, Kiki, we're not gonna have trouble today, right? And she's like, I don't hate you, Lisa.

Listen, I love you. And she goes, okay, well then don't throw shit at me. She's like, oh God, okay. So here we go with Lisa starting this shit again, okay? So then they're in the tent later and Lisa's dancing around and Kiki's dancing around and she does like a kick thing. Okay, so here we go with Lisa starting this shit again. Okay, so then they're in the tent later and Lisa's dancing around and Kiki's dancing around and she does like a kick thing.

And Lisa's like, oh, what are you gonna fight me again? She's just trying, she's trying it. That's fucking funny. Yeah, she's like, she's being ridiculous. So then Adriana's backstage and she's like very nervous. She's really, really nervous. And she's worried that like, this isn't like what happens. Like, like if she doesn't land properly from her lip, that she can look like a turkey that

was just killed on Thanksgiving Day. And like this is going to be a career moment. I'm like, I hate to be this person because it is a really, really exciting thing. And if I got to perform at Gay Pride for one song in Mexico City, I too would be very excited about it. But I also know well enough that one song at Gay Pride at 2pm is not going to launch you into the stratosphere in the world of music.

Let me tell you one thing I've learned from Gay Pride and Gay Pride performances specifically, we literally expect nothing. And let me let me tell you what a Gay Pride performance sounds like to about 70 percent of the people that are there This is what all you can hear You're like wait, what was that? That's all it ever sounds like yeah So she does it you know she does her thing and she's obviously tracked right and Marius was like wait

Is she lamp-sinking or sing Are we really worrying about that right now? She's singing Miami is fire at gay pride. Just leave the woman alone. All right. Marysola horrified by songs on track. She's like, wait a second. I didn't, you know, Dizzy Gillespie didn't do this.

Yeah. So you just taped a picture of your face on a seven up cam and called the cockies. So let's just not worry about that right now. Okay. So she sings fire, which is always welcomed. I love that song and everyone's dancing and then it's over and she's like really happy and everyone's really happy for her and she's like doing an interview with like a local podcaster or something like that And everyone's just very happy. And they say, you know what?

Tonight we are going to Partay. Yes. Okay. So now they're back at the hotel and Lisa's glam guy is doing her hair, but hangers are hitting him in the head. And she's like, oh my God, you know why a hanger's hitting you in the head? Don't, don't be so close to the hangers.

Come over here. I mean, Jesus Christ. He's like, oh, it was a chicken. Just say thank you. I know. It's better than when he gets it home. I'll tell you that much. I wrote down the same note, Ronnie.

I said, here, have some chicken. Slaps him in the face with it. And then Gertie calls Russell. She's feeling a lot better. And then Alexia is having them over for like pre-drinks before they go down for pride. So Lisa comes over and she's like, can I have a skinny margarita? I'm just like, no, we don't do skinny here in Mexico. Okay. I can't with these skinny beaches. Like allergic to sugar.

Why not be allergic to Lenny or things that like are really harm you? I thought this was going to be the beginning of a fight. I thought Lisa was going to say, what, you're gonna shame me right now? How could you do that? I was so prepared for it, but it didn't happen. After all the mental torture you just saw me go through. So Lisa throws a chicken breast at the bartender and gets her drink and then Kiki walks in

and hugs Lisa, cause they're, you know, they're mending. And Lisa's like, oh, are you gonna throw a juice box at me? And Kiki's like, come on, stop, stop with this already. She's like, I'm just asking. And she says, why do you say this? Do you ever see me go around throwing drinks at people, Lisa? And she's like, well, I'm making a joke because you threw a drink at me. She's like, OK, well, it's not time for a joke now.

And she's like, yeah, she's really making it tough to move past this. Yeah. And then we see a clip of the 10 times that Lisa has just said it throughout the day, trying to get on her nerves. Yes, and don't throw shit at me. Are you gonna fight me again? Are you gonna throw a juice box at me? And in her mind, she's like,

I'm just trying to break the tension by making a light of it. But there is no tension. Kiki is fine and you're actually just resuscitating the tension. Yes. So then, let's see here. So Kiki's like, oh God.

So Larza is like, well I miss Kiki, like why is it so weird? Because Lisa and some girls go outside. So now it's just Larza and Kiki. And she's like, listen, I just got here, but Larza's first thing she says to me is don't beat me up. I mean, come on. And Larza's like, yeah, I think she's like making it worse but like in her mind

like I feel like she feels like like Kiki was like making it worse like but like she feels like Kiki was aggressive but like it was Lisa's fault. She was the one who initiated it like yeah I do feel like she owes Kiki an apology like just the way Marcus owes me a phone call because we haven't spoken in about 10 minutes like my god I wonder what Marcus is doing like oh my god what is Marcus feeling about this like hi it's Larisa this is my podcast with Marcus hi Marcus I'm not letting this happen today happened today. So then we go out to the patio and Lisa is talking to Nicole and Alexia and she's like me and Kiki on great today she should sit over there then I don't want to near me and

Nicole's like well I don't think that she likes that you're like suggesting that she's aggressive because like right when you see her you're like don't fight with aggressive because like right when you see her, like don't fight with me. And Lisa's just looking at her like, yeah. Lisa does the old classic thing. I was just making a joke about it. I'm trying to move on. I'm sure Lisa, Lisa seems like someone who would totally

appreciate it if someone makes a joke about her situation or anything like that. And Alexi is like, oh, well, yeah, you know, but like it's kind of like passive aggressive, okay? You know, no, Lisa, it's true. It's like passive aggressive. Like when Alexia is, you know, like saying, no, this is bad, you know, you're in trouble.

Yeah, when it's too much for Alexia, you know, you're in trouble. It's like, well, listen, I swear, I was trying to move past him, but I was trying to move past you through all the objects of my body, okay? That's what I'm trying to move past him, I was trying to move past you, throwing objects at my body, okay? That's what I'm trying to do. She did not throw a knife at you or something like that.

Yes, violence is never the answer. Yes, Kiki shouldn't have thrown something, but let's not have a false equivalency that Kiki throwing the juice box is, you know, as bad if not worse then Lisa standing up over her and being really obnoxious and being like, shut the fuck up. I'm sorry, Lisa is 100% on the wrong here.

Yeah, Lisa sucks. I've never seen somebody turn goodwill this quickly. I mean, it's, it's actually pretty amazing. It's hilarious. I love that. That's a talent. So Lars is like, okay, so like, what do you want to do? Like, because like, I'm trying to explain like to Lisa. Meanwhile, Julia has come in. She's like, oh my god, my vagina is hanging out. It's crazy. So she comes and she's like waiting for a drink

while they're gossiping. And Lars is like, well, I'm trying to like explain to Lisa like, like I feel like like I listen to her because like we're friends like, but like other people like are like tired of it. And Kiki's like, well, I'm tired of it. She's fucking selfish. And to make a comment about those people who live down by the river. And then we see a clip of Lisa being like, I promise you they get worse than chicken.

And Kiki's like, I live that life. I didn't just like get up and lay on my back and get fucked by a plastic surgeon that boom I have millions. And then we get an Larson looks away like, okay, well, okay, that went a little like far leg, I feel like. That went a little far leg,

but we were all thinking it like. So, so then Julia, meanwhile Julia has been around, I guess like getting her drink or something, but she's listened to all this. So she goes outside like, free kisses from God and toast that oven. And Lisa's being like, you know what?

You guys are right. You know what I'm gonna do? I'm just not gonna talk to her. But I think that she should apologize. So I love that Lisa's takeaway from what the women are saying is not to say, okay, I'll dial it back. It's to say, you're right.

I'm just not gonna say anything. I'm the victim. I'm the comedian. Oh, just call me Rob Schneider at this point. Yeah. So Julie is like, oh, well, it is heating up there. I couldn't help but listen while I was not listening. My cucumber vodka thing was being made and she was saying things about you.

She's like, what's she saying? She thinks you're an entire spoiled girl. You are the what? The saying? She thinks you're an entitled spoiled girl. You are the what, the what? The opposite of God, the worst of all time. The what? She thinks I'm an entitled spoiled brat. By the way, Julia did not say brat,

but Lisa took it there, because I think she knows it's true. And she goes, you see what I mean guys? I love Lisa talking to her about Kiki outside. And then she finds out Kiki's talking to her about her inside and she's like, what, how could you do that to me? Right. So then Nicole's like, oh my God, Julia, like, I know she likes to use her mouth

to kiss people, but like she needs to kiss and like stop creating more drama. So Gertie comes. And so she brings some weird energy. She's got this shirt with like hands on her boobs and her, and her legs or her thighs or whatever or her hips. And she's like, she comes in and she goes, well, hello Clarice. So yeah, I was like, okay,

we can have a Silence of the Lambs moment if you want. So I guess it's about, I didn't know where the Silence of the Lam Lancels coming from, but that shit was fine. Yeah, I was like, I guess it's gay pride. We can talk about Jodie Foster. So Nicole, so yeah, she's like, I'm not going to drink today. And then Adriana enters and Alexa is giving up bracelets for the party downstairs and Lisa has gone to the bathroom and Nicole is telling Kiki and Lars said that basically Julia just went outside and told Lisa everything that they were talking about inside.

Yeah. Okay. So then, um, Alexia gives out bracelets for this party they're going to, right? And Lisa's just like giving looks. And we find out Mary Sol's not coming. She's vomiting three times milkshakes. My milkshake brings my resort to the bathroom. So Gurdy is like, oh, she's nauseous too. And then Lexi keeps saying, she vomited three times. Three times. Three times. Three times. What's one more than two?

Three times. Three times. So now we go to Mondrian Pride. Nothing like celebrating in your hotel lobby, your hotel lobby happy hour party. So they're cheersing to Adriana and Lisa's like, well, today I wanted to have fun. I was open to receiving Kiki, but after hearing how spoiled I am, I'm not the party mood.

So of course she's going to ruin everybody's night again, because she hasn't ruined enough fucking events with her drama. So here she comes again. You know, it's a really good way to prove to people that you're not a spoiled brat, sulking at the party. And then making everybody leave. I'm not in the party boo. She is the worst.

Meanwhile, Larissa literally does not care what's happening in the world. She's just over there with her phone, filming herself with one of the biggest phone lights I've ever seen. I know. I'm surprised she didn't have an assistant there holding it for her.

She has like a Kleeg light attached to her phone. So Julia then sits down to Lisa and kind of like reads her, sort of like in a plucky way. She's like, okay, so the group, this is what everyone feels like and that includes both castmates and also production. So I'm just a messenger here, but the whole group is feeling that

they've been giving you a lot of empathy for a year and we want you to kind of snap out of it because you're like really annoying to a lot of people and you're at the bad, just because you're at the bad, there's none takes good to death, they shut up and I agree with that. And honestly, we all left behind your back when you drove a Honda because you were so stupid at it. And like everyone thinks that everything you do is like very, very annoying.

And you know what? Even if you want a toaster, we wouldn't even give it to you. That's it. Julie, it just comes out of nowhere with. And Gertie is next. Gertie is next to this and she turns to Nicole. She goes, uh, Nicole, she's telling her everything. She's going to blow. And Lisa's like, I don't even want to tell me what to snap out of it, I'll tell you that.

But they're saying that you're entitled to and maybe you shouldn't be entitled to this. And she goes, oh yeah. Well, if anyone thinks I'm grieving or taking too long, they don't have to deal with it then. They just don't have to deal with me. Not what birthday has my back. These are not my people.

Okay, well guess who your people are? The people that you pay. Because literally nobody else wants this 24 hours a day. You going through something bad doesn't mean that everyone should be subject to your bullshit 24 hours a day for years on end, okay? Yeah. Why am I not allowed to feel?

I've met my emotions out. These is my life. I like that if you prick me. Do I not bleed? If you put me in a Honda Civic, do I not cry? If you want me a chicken breast, do I not toss it at a poor thing? If you take me to Mexico City, do I not try very hard to make it either Tokyo or Venice? So Lars is like come on Lisa like we're here for you like... Uh-uh, no, I don't want to dance and drink enough fun. I'm not the booze for this! So they all leave because Lisa's throwing a fucking fit.

So they all go to the same room, I guess back to Alexi's room. And Lars is like, I'm like, I guess like I feel like we need to like power like something. I don't understand why we need to bring dynamite into it. I'm not gonna power out with anyone. Okay, I wanna go to bed. I've had a long couple of days. I was around poor dogs.

It's a lot for me to take in. And I got to go home. And I need to figure out my life and what I don't wanna be arguing with anybody right now. Yeah, but like Lisa, like you said that Julia made it very clear that the group is tired of you and but like the group didn't say that. I don't like that. And Julia is like, well, I didn't say tired. I said we were just, you know, we're always supporting you. We just said you are deeply, deeply annoying and we kind of wish you were not at our TV show with us. That is all.

Yeah, and Larza says, Yeah, you know, like I'm like I rock with you, but like I have to be honest and like when you were standing over Kiki, like she never comes for anyone. And then you're telling her like shut the fuck up. That's not who you are, Lisa. Yeah, well, I'm supposed to be on trial on Monday and I don't want to feel like I'm on trial now because this feels like I'm on trial. It feels like a trial. What I'm trying to say is you haven't heard of a thing called court. Well, this feels like a court. You know what I'm saying? Does anyone understand my analogy? So then Adriana's like, let her cry about her divorce. You know, she's like, it's not even over yet. She still has, she's tossed her crying. And Lars is like, we've given her lots of hard passes. And you know what, like, she's like cheated on me 10 times.

Wait a minute. Did I give her the wrong thing? Oops. Um, yeah, they're just kind of like, you know, you can, we want you to feel and you're going through a tough time, but like everything comes back. Like if we're talking about one thing, you bring it back to that and we've had enough of that. So they're also just like, listen, we're talking about one day when you were being an asshole. It's not like we don't want to hear from you, blah, blah, blah. And so Kiki is crying now and she's, she tries to explain to her instead of having like a housewives fight about it. She's like, okay, I'm going to really explain to this chick cause she doesn't seem to get it, right?

So she's like, look Lisa, you don't know anything about me. I, and she's crying and she says, I was kicked out of my house when I was 15, you know, and you guys all live these beautiful lives and I've worked really hard to get here to be with you guys and I just want you to listen to me, you know? No one cared, this was so fucking sad by the way. She's like, no one cares to even ask me one question.

I mean, no one says what's going on in your life. And Lisa, I have two kids. I don't have anybody helping me. You don't even know my son's name. Do you know my son's name? What's my son's name? And it just goes, and everyone kind of looks away because you know none of them know.

Yeah, none of them know. Lisa's like, is it Ebenezer? She's like, no, this is the life you have. Like, even though you're going through a divorce, I'm sorry that you're going through it and I'm, but I'm going through hell too. And I just don't bring my problems on people on any of you guys. Just because I don't talk about my issues, I have issues too. And like, you know, and by the way, people handle things differently.

Some people like to, they don't want to burden other people. Other people like to vent to their friends and that's perfectly fine. But Lisa just doesn't seem to understand How one way it seems to be with her? So then Lisa is saying well And it looks like Lisa might be getting it because she's just listening to her and she's kind of nodding and then she goes well Anything I say is gonna be wrong. So I just rather not say anything anything I say is gonna be wrong. So I'd just rather not say anything.

But I'm sorry, what you, so of course you're the victim in all of this, of course. So she goes, okay, so then she tries another way and she's like, okay, I'm gonna really explain this to her because she still doesn't get it, right? So she goes, so what you don't see about what I'm saying is those little houses that we saw on the canal, that took me back because I was raised in those houses.

So when you're talking about the dogs being not fed, I felt like just because of people that live, like just because there's people who live like that, doesn't mean that they don't feed their dogs. And Lisa's like, but that's not what I was saying, that's not what I was saying. Still not getting, how are you still not getting this? I am so embarrassed for Lisa.

Well, she's making about her. She's making about her. I'm embarrassed for her. She's, she's making it about her. She's so embarrassed for her. She's not sitting and listening to Kiki. She's saying, you're twisting my words and making me look like I'm an insensitive, entitled asshole and I don't appreciate it. And the bartender's like, ow, stop throwing chicken at me.

Sorry, I know you need it. Oh my God, you are an insensitive, entitled asshole. You are the worst. I can't believe I ever rude it for you. You're fucking terrible. At least it's like, I'm talking now. I'm talking now. And Kiki's like, I'm talking now, I'm talking now. And Kiki's like, you're just, see, you're doing it again.

And by the way, they show pictures of Kiki's house. It was, it was, it was tiny and it was, it was not unlike the houses we saw on the canal. And so it was definitely, you know, a tough environment to grow up in. And Kiki's trying to explain this and she's like, you know what, you're doing it again now.

If you wanna get that level, I can get there. And then Lisa, you're talking over me also. And she's like, but I'm trying to explain to you why I made that comment. And then Lisa goes, but I can't fix the childhood trauma, okay? I was like, oh my God. She goes, I'm not a therapist, which I'm like,

so you're just gonna vent to these women for a year. And then the moment someone shares something about their life with you, you say, I'm not a therapist. I can't help you. I can't help you. Yeah. It's so deeply obnoxious. It is terrible, it's bad.

This is the word. Listen, Lisa is like the queen of bad looks. Like she puts them on all day. She has a dry cleaner rack in her house to spin those bad looks around, okay? And this is a bad look even for her. This is terrible. So Lisa's like, why you getting mad at me?

And she's like, oh my God, I open up about my childhood and this is what you say, you are selfish. And then she goes in, you know what? Maybe what's happening with you and Lenny is karma. And it's like, oh. And they're just like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Everyone just has that like, oh my God, you guys are, you just won this fight.

What are you doing? I don't know. I don't think she'd lost it perfect, to be honest. She certainly didn't with the audience, you know? But yeah. Well, I like, oh, don't say that. She goes, Karma's a bitch. But honestly, like, I, that would, that would probably be a

friendship vendor for me. If I had to sit and listen to Lisa for a full year on and on and on. Now Lenny did this interrupting whatever everybody else is talking about, bringing it to that. They went to the cathedral last week to pray for a Gertie and Lisa made it about Lenny again and They listened to this over and over and over again and the moment you share a hardship from your life She wants to not even touch. She's like, well, I can't fix that for you. Sorry. Why are you talking to me about that? I can't fix that for you. Like, you know how many times they probably want to say that to her. Oh my goodness Lisa awful awful awful

Oh, this is really really bad. By the way, awful. Awful, oh, this is really, really bad. Hilarious, but by the way, hilarious. What a hilarious episode. Like, that's the kind of delusion I live for on these shows. People just like, like, what are you thinking? What are you thinking? Yeah, really bad. So, great episode. Really, really bad.

But overall, what a good episode. Good season, great show. Everybody, thanks so much for being here. Yeah, thanks for being here. And we will catch you on the next episode. Bye everyone. Watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King, Ashley Savoni. She don't take no baloney. Stroll in the park with Caitlin Clark. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniela. Itchles, Erin McNicholas. She don't miss no baloney. Strollin' the park with Caitlyn Clark. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniela. Itchles!

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