Watch What Crappens - #2327 The Traitors: Dungeon Dragging
Episode Date: February 19, 2024This week on The Traitors (S02E08), it seems like the Faithful might be getting a bit smarter, so it’s up to Phaedra to choose a new Traitor to murrrrrrder everyone who stands in her way. T...o watch the video version of this recap and for this week’s Summer House bonus episode, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. And grab tickets for the Netflix is a Joke Fest in LA and our European tour at watchwhatcrappens.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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about on Yield Bros. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there, hobby in.
Hi, how are you?
I'm doing great today. Welcome back. Welcome to your show. Happy Monday, buddy.
Happy Monday to you too. How are you doing?
How are you?
Good.
We're recovered from this weekend.
No, it takes me a while. I mean, it takes me a while to recover
from going to the grocery store.
Okay, it's gonna take a while to recover
from a whirlwind trip in Los Angeles.
Went to Los Angeles for the weekend.
We did the Jeff Lewis show.
That was super fun.
And then we went and did our show, The Crappies,
the Golden Crappy Awards on Saturday night.
What a great fucking time.
Oh my God. Great time. Thank you to everybody who came out, who helped us.
We had so many people working on stuff. We had so many guests come to the show.
Sheena from Vanderpump Rules came, a lot of our podcaster friends.
What a great party time.
It was tremendous. Honestly, I really feel like it was the best crappies we've held. It just felt like the energy was so good. I've been really
riding a high. We were honestly riding an hour before we even started recording.
We were just like yammering on because we really haven't been able to touch base
since Saturday night and do like a post game rapport and it's just like I'm
just like my heart is so full. I'm so thankful to everyone who showed up. I'm
thankful to everyone who helped us. I'm thankful to everyone who helped us.
I'm thankful to everyone who, like everyone who,
all our guests on the show,
all everyone who submitted videos.
It just was such a fun show.
And I'm also thankful to whoever invented sequins
because you know what?
People really rocked the sequins and the glitter
on Saturday night and it was amazing.
It was like everyone collectively knew what to wear.
It was so great. Yeah. Really, really fun times. Thank you everybody for
supporting us in that. You really gave us a good time. Everyone, if you still want
to watch it, you can. It is available on moment until, I mean, I guess for two weeks.
I think it's 14 days. Yeah, go check it out. It's really cool. It's
really fun to watch.
You can find the links at watchwhatcrapins.com as usual.
And also, we're very excited to announce
we're going to Europa.
That's right.
That's a place.
This is a big deal.
This is like a really big deal.
We, for the first time ever, are crossing the pond,
as they would say.
We are going to London and
we're also going to Birmingham we are going to London on May 24th and we are
going to Birmingham on May 29th so Friday that's me London at Islington
Assembly Hall which my friend got his UK naturalization ceremony in and also at at the Glee Club in Birmingham on Wednesday, May 29th.
Those tickets go on sale this Wednesday at 10 a.m.
UK time, is that right?
Meridian, Greenish time, whatever.
Either way, we are so excited to finally,
finally, finally do some UK shows at long last.
Yes, we're excited to be here.
We're excited to be here.
We're excited to be here. are so excited to finally, finally, finally do
some UK shows at long last. Yes, so go grab your tickets for that. We're also going to be part of
the Netflix is a joke comedy festival at our friend Katie Kizorla's new comedy club, the Kukapura
Lounge, which is in the Highland Center. And that is in May 2. You can find links for all that good stuff on our Instagram, our link tree, and our
watchworkcrapness.com. Okay, so go there check it out. We're excited to be a part
of all this stuff. But today let's go into the traitors!
Traitors! Merder! Merder! Yes! Merder! Merder, merder. Yes. Merder.
Merder.
This is a very, very scary episode for me because, you know, fucking Dan.
Dan really put a stink on, on Phadra, and it sucks because he, he put a, he helped
put a stink on, well he, he didn't put a stink on Parvati, but he just sort of unnecessarily spread the stink around the entire traders team and the attempt to save himself, which he didn't put a stink on poverty, but he just sort of unnecessarily
spread the stink around the entire traders team and the attempt to save himself, which
he didn't even do, and I'm mad at him for it.
Yeah, it's a pretty selfish move, but it is a traitor's move.
It is a traitorous move.
There is no honor among traitors.
So Yacht was a pretty shit thing he did, but, you know, slimy.
That's how you do it.
And Big Brother, you know, Big Brother's not the nicest game.
He came from a very slimy, dirty, underhanded game.
Shame on him for being a winner of that.
He came out of retirement after ten years to play this game.
This one is called Knives at Dawn.
Last night's sacrifice.
Seven were protected from murder.
So we saw the fire ceremony where Allison, the producer of Big Brother, came in and magically saved people that she wanted to save, even though their ass was about to go home, namely Peter.
Okay, so I'm still pissed off about it.
Don't really like it.
But that fucker's still here. I'm really mad. Talking with his teeth. I'm also just mad because
the round table is just inherently more interesting than a fire ceremony. I mean, I was, it was fun
to see the fire ceremony. It was, it was interesting to see who everyone was going to choose. It was
funny to watch Trishelle just like begging cry for her life, you know. And of course, by the way,
Trishelle, as we will see in two seconds is totally fine but it's totally like her to
shed all these tears to save her because she's the most in danger when she's not in danger
at all.
So Alan says, who did Paravityan Vedra choose to murder?
Was it Bergi, Kate, MJ, what's Rachele?
Well, CT and Sharray are the first to come in for breakfast. And he's like, yeah, I knew I was saved this morning.
It's nice, but at the same time, I'm a little nervous.
Cause I was like, are you?
Cause you never change your emotions.
Which is kind of hot, isn't it?
Yeah, I feel like I would like to see
what the manifestation of his nerves are,
because if it involves tighter jeans, I would be all into it.
I am. I mean, see, I feel like we've gotten away a little bit from CT's haunches,
but they really are a major supporting player on the show.
I think you're the first person I've ever heard call them haunches and you do it a lot.
Like you really get into that, calling them haunches.
I feel like it's like a thing you say about horses.
It is that I specifically use it with CT because it feels like his legs are not just like tree
trunks or just like not they're not just like thick with two C's.
They're like to me, they're like haunches.
They are haunches.
Haunches.
Yeah, there's got a big old honking couple of legs
Yeah, but he's like I'm feeling a lot of anxiety. Okay, so
He's like, all right, so charade if you could murder anybody right now who out there
Who do you think I murdered? Who do you think I murdered? Okay? You don't have to murder anybody
I'm just saying if I had a gun to your head, which is kind of murderous
You know, she was probably so confused.
Why are we talking about murder?
Because we want to show when we murder people,
I want to kill anybody who doesn't have base points.
You got base points?
You got base points?
She's like, I thought we were the,
I thought we were just like waiting
for our car to be serviced.
No, you're on a show right now, sure, right?
Right. Like I'm waiting for our car to be serviced. No, you're on a, you're on a show right now. Sure. Right.
Like I'm waiting for that guy who's spent the sign.
It's not a Jiffy lube.
What about that puffer guy who with the tires?
No, Michelin man's not eligible to be murdered.
So he's like, we got to get a trade out.
I like when they say obvious things.
Well, I hope we get a trade out today.
So it's like in this game, you can trust,
oh, so if they just like, in this game,
you can trust no one.
Some of these people, they're bloodhounds.
Yeah, I'll tell you what though,
we gotta get a trader now,
especially now that we're running out of time.
Poverty, I mean, obviously,
I mean, she's already been on everyone's radar everywhere
and Sandra's like exactly exactly and then Sandra's like you know
me and poverty have history and like it's not great history but if I get the
vibe that she's a traitor then I'm gonna grab all the faithfuls and I'm gonna
show them bill billiard balls again and try to explain how that works. I love
that Phaedra's the one being like oh oh, everyone here, they're bloodhounds.
Phaedra, you're the murderer.
We calling everybody else a traitor.
You're literally a traitor.
So Phaedra's like, yeah, that Peter's so divisive.
I mean, if you're Sherlock Holmes,
be a nice Sherlock Holmes.
Don't be Sherlock the dick.
So John enters and everyone, everyone loves John now.
It's so funny because I feel like they were so suspicious of him in the beginning and then just quietly
they've just grown to like just love him and feel like he's super faithful and
so they're like who do you think I murdered and John's like well I fear
Trishelle I think she's bright I think she's savvy and she was very very very
frightened lost and not.
Also, John, the first person to ever say those words.
I think she's bright.
I think she's savvy.
Well, she already won something.
She can put that on her LinkedIn.
So Peter's like, yesterday, I kind of saw the writing on the wall,
and it said, honey, come home. Mommy misses you.
And I was like, well, I'm stuff writing on my walls.
But then I saw other writing and thank God, John saved me.
Now it's bittersweet because I know I'm safe, but two people that I've
complete trust in are not safe.
I'm just a good little boy.
I fly planes.
So now CT thinks it's Berge.
And then Sandra's like, she's like,
well, Kate, maybe it's Kate or MJ.
I feel like they're saying Trishelle and Berge a lot
to the point where I feel like it's misdirection.
And so I became actually very nervous
that MJ was gonna be murdered.
Because they weren't even,
yeah, because I feel like MJ kind of came out of nowhere,
right? Yeah.
And so Kevin's saying,
the person I really want to see walk through that door
is poverty, but who is it?
Who is it?
It is Kate and MJ.
Yeah.
It's like, stop.
Hi, stupid.
I'm back.
I'm back, dummies.
I actually like wish you had murdered me.
Oh, well, do you have a scone?
I guess it's another day I'm not dead yet.
That's great.
Yeah, Kevin was hoping that poverty was gonna come through,
so that way his suspicion that she's a traitor is confirmed,
which, I mean, he's right, she is a traitor,
but it actually would not confirm anything
that if she came back, it just says that she's alive.
Well, it's Kevin logic. I know, he tells me that she's alive. Well, it's Kevin Logic.
I know, he chose me not.
So, okay, it's like, well, I thought I was gonna get murdered,
but I guess they wanna keep me,
because they trust me, they should not trust me.
I would throw any one of them in the moat for $5.
Literally do not care.
I would do it for a sweater.
So then, so now Peter's like, oh my God,
it's Trishella Berge.
Oh no, and unfortunately there's no way
that poverty is not coming to breakfast.
And, and Phaedra's saying it's getting harder and harder
to protect, she likes poverty,
but she can't protect her very much more.
So of course poverty enters and everyone's like, boo,
you know, and then they all,
and then Phaedra has to pretend to be upset that
basically Berge is dead.
Yeah, and so Parvati is so mad that she's squinting.
Hello, I was like, hey, that's a squinter, man.
Like, does that girl have trouble reading?
Is she reading?
What is her, the lights?
She's like, I really wanted to go Peter tonight.
I'm so annoyed that we can't do that. Berge's the next next best thing in my opinion. It's going to take out some of Peter's support,
so we just had to do it.
I wore my hanging headband.
Hung that fucker.
It's a sad headband.
It was crying.
Tear's coming down the headband.
So now Burgey gets his murder notice.
And he's like, yeah, I think I really played the best game
I could ever play.
I mean, coming in, I was really really played the best game I could ever play
I mean coming in I was really nervous because no one even knows who I am. I don't even know who I am
Why am I even here? Why am I on this game show? I don't know, but it was fun. Bye everyone
I got to show I'm someone who can't be manipulated
You were manipulated by peter you literally did what peter told you to the entire time
But and then you got killed because of it too by the way.
So bye.
Learned nothing.
Okay, so then John was like, let's raise our cup to our dear departed friend, the Queen
Mother.
This is a sad and solemn moment, mainly because I just verbalized that Trishella's smart
and I can't ever take that back.
It's on the
record now. We must pay our respects to my former intelligence." And then Phaedra starts
betraying herself again by complimenting food and drink. I mean she really does it every single
time so she he's like someone has died and Phaedra's like, hmm this coffee is delicious.
I know so Trichelle's beret gives her a nasty look.
And Peter's like, well, it's not gonna help us losing him.
And Kevin's like, we lose voting power, we lose mission,
we're gonna lose a mission now.
And Peter's like, we can't be so far behind.
And probably it's like, holy moly,
she has a really bad job of also seeming concerned.
Yeah, and Peter's mad and everyone's getting themselves
all worked up.
And then Phaedra goes, I'd like some cream cheese and preserves.
And then Trishelle's like, it's her. I know it.
And finally, someone is noticed, you know, the woman's tell is her food.
I can't never seen that before. I've seen a lot of tells, you know,
I love playing poker. I've never seen somebody just start obsessing over food as
their tell. Well, Trishelle Trish Trish you know you know what rhymes with tell Trishelle so
she says you know a lot of these guys are looking for the safest bet which would
be poverty I guess however I've always felt like Phaedra as a trader ever since
two days ago and no one's suspecting it. Phaedra doesn't really talk a lot of
game she doesn't throw out people's names and I'm a poker player and a beret icon
And she has like a little twitch in one of her eyes and that's kind of a tell at a poker table
I just need to convince the other guys. I'm like, yes
Fatra does have a twitch but like you said, I think the bigger tell is the food tell
I love that Trichelle is so proud of herself when there's a much larger
more
More powerful tell just sitting right in front of her
a much larger, more powerful tell just sitting right in front of her. Well, also, Fatress Twitch has nothing to do with lying.
She's wearing 90 pounds of hair on five parts of her body.
First of all, her eyelashes come out as far as a baby arm.
They're like store awnings.
They're gigantic.
And then she puts her bangs right over, like they fall into the eyelashes.
So it's like a little car wash.
She's got hair.
Look at her load bearing bangs.
Or eyelashes.
She's got like hair hanging down in between the lashes.
So she's, and then they blink up and down.
So it's like having five different areas of hair
coming at her eyes.
Of course her eyes are gonna twitch.
Leave the woman alone. Don't come after a woman for her coming at her eyes. Of course her eyes are going to twitch. Leave the woman alone.
Don't come after a woman for her eyelashes and her hair.
I mean, Trishelle, Trishelle,
Phaedra is literally talking to you.
I feel like anyone who talks to Trishelle is going to develop a twitch.
And you when he talks to Trishelle is going to recoil with an eye.
I don't trust between Trishelle and Kevin.
Like you've got a twitch now.
Like that the little the twitch streaming service was based off of those two. They're like, you know what?
I just talked to Trishelle. I got this great idea. Let's start a streaming service for video games. We'll just call it twitch
So Alan comes in and he's like good morning my ever decreasing circle of friends
Let's let bygones be bygones.
Bye.
Gone.
He just like breaks a picture of Berge on the ground.
Loser.
Um, was Alan coming in the movie Circle of Friends?
He was.
That, I just realized this right now.
That line was a referential line, my ever decreasing circle of friends.
Look at that Alan coming, clever, clever reference
to a movie he was in 30 years ago.
Okay, so.
I was gonna say, was that a big classic
that people remember things from?
No, it was not.
It was not, it was just that like the other night
some of us were talking about Alan coming.
We're just, you know, we were like waxing philosophically.
We were pretending we were like on PBS talking about this show and we're talking about Alan coming. We're just, you know, we're like waxing philosophically. We were pretending we're like on PBS talking about this show.
And we're talking about Alan coming,
how this is really his like most,
it feels like this is his, his, oh my God,
I am losing my mind.
This is his most impactful pop cultural role.
And we're talking about, yeah, he was in this movie
and using that movie.
And someone said, yeah, he was in the circle of friends.
So that was very top of mind right now.
And I was like, was he in Circle of Friends?
So then when you read that line, I was like,
oh, it was a reference to a movie he was in.
So anyway.
Wow.
Yeah, I was really excited.
I'm really glad I stopped the podcast for this.
Yeah, there you go.
That was a good biography for that reference.
Yeah, that movie that was,
Mini Driver was in that film.
Oh yes. That was like her big in that film. Oh, yes.
That was like her big star making turn, Circle of Friends.
It's also what Ramona calls her chauffeur, my mini driver.
You know what?
Go around that circle if you're not my friend.
Okay, you're my driver.
You're my mini driver.
I can't believe my chauffeur got a movie role. It says mini drivers in this movie, circle of friends.
Whoa, you know what?
Maybe you should get a broomstick or something so you can hit the gas.
Okay, because I'm gonna get somewhere fast.
Circle of small friends, baby driver.
Okay, what is that the sequel?
Baby driver.
Whoa, I just found out my chauffeur also
was very good at riding wills and also very good at hunting.
I can't believe it.
Many, many drivers, good will hunting.
You know what?
One time, many driver didn't show up,
so I had to drive myself.
And I was getting out of the car, now that.
And the guy said, oh my god, it's a baby driver.
You don't look a day over baby hood
How did you touch it? How did you touch gas pedal? Whoa?
Guess what I look younger than mini driver now, okay?
So then let's see so now he starts giving hints that
They are going to have to play today's mission. You'll be taking a little
trip to my well. Let's just call it my holiday home. A film I might have done with Cameron Diaz.
Have anybody paid attention in casting? Would have been great in that film. What was that movie
with Cameron Diaz? I think it's the last holiday or something.
Here's one thing I have to say about my cabin is that you might find some golden jewelry is that you have an eye on
golden eye, which I was also in.
You know more Alan coming films with me. I don't know. I think that's that that's it
That's I've got the good wife. That's it. And I remember he was in cabaret on Broadway. Yeah, that's a cabaret
Beyond venue murder. Well, I also am like currently my
Maybe this time there'll be murder
Come to the man
Yeah, I I'm only more current on his IMDB because our friend Sue
Seems to be very current with his IMDB and she basically went through his IMDB in front of me
And I just now have taken it on and now I'm acting like I know the IMDb but it's because of Sue.
Thanks Sue.
Well I'd like to welcome you to my cabin in the woods which is a film I was not in because
apparently I'm a gay who they don't believe can adopt a child and be forced to possibly
sacrifice her in the woods.
So thanks a lot.
Non-casting me assholes.
What I'm trying to say is welcome to Jurassic Park.
Not an eye audition for that.
I met Laura Dern once.
I'm a retreat.
Somehow still didn't get in that.
Let's all go wild at heart together. Damn it. Another film I wasn't casting.
On your way to the, on your way to the cabin in the woods,
be sure not to step on any rambling roses.
Just another Laura Dern film that I used as an acting class.
So he's like, good luck escaping.
And Sherry's like, wait, what does he mean?
It's taking escape and escape to the woods.
What could escape mean?
Escape, escape the band?
Is it the band?
It's candy here.
It's candy here.
It's candy for us here.
It's candy, I know it's game.
Escape, we're gonna escape.
We're at a concert.
Okay, it's like, I think it's the cabin.
Yeah, I think it's the cabin. Yeah, I think it's the cabin.
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So he's like, okay, go there, go there. A la prochaine! So everyone is like heading out of the
breakfast room and um, Trishelle walks with Peter and Kevin is
Kevin saying things like wow we seriously need to get rid of somebody in
the clique and Trishelle's like where can we go let's meet in the armory so Trishelle
says the traders are targeting our little group and this is a new game new
mindset new berets and I think that poverty and Phaedra could be the traders
however number wise Phaedra has way more people
that would never vote for her.
So it makes more sense to get rid of Phaedra now.
And I'm like, fuck Rachelle for like figuring this out.
I hate this.
She's totally right.
And I'm so mad at her for it.
Yeah, I kind of am too.
But you know, she's thrown so many darts.
I don't even want to give her the credit for being right.
Cause she just keeps throwing darts at the wrong people. You know? And she's also the most impassioned about black women
too. Like, notice that she suddenly gets like really like between this and peppermint, this is
when she gets really on her high horse. Yeah, I did notice. She didn't do anything overt. So I was
like, okay, I guess I'll leave her alone on this one. But of course, you're like, of course, it's
hard to with Trishelle to not be like,
mm, of course this is the one that you're gonna go off on.
I would love it, by the way,
I would love it if Trishelle became the new word for Karen,
because there's like plenty of lovely Karen's out there
that we all know and love.
There'd be like, Karen's a perfectly nice name.
They even got a letter from a Karen.
He was like, listen, I love you guys,
but my name is Karen and this is very offensive.
And I'm sick of that name being used for, you know,
what it is and then I get it.
Okay. Because for a long time,
the only Ronnies I ever heard of were like the,
the Republican president and a bunch of rapists
on law and order.
I mean, that's where I would hear that name.
Or it's like a murderer or something.
They loved using the name Ronnie on law and order
as a murder or on special victims unit as a waitress.
That's the only time I would ever hear that name like for years and years.
And so I get it.
I mean, I would hate for my name to be Karen and then hear it used in that way.
And I get it.
But you know what?
You're calling the wrong customer service.
That customer service is not us.
That's a term that's already out there.
We didn't start that term.
Okay.
I didn't invent that.
What do you want from me?
Dream out the first Karen.
But we can make Trichelle the new Karen
because there's no one else named Trichelle.
Because I guarantee there's been no one
in the pet, ever since real world Las Vegas,
I guarantee there's been no one who said,
I want to name my child Trichelle.
I think there's only one Trichelle.
Enough that you can say Trichelle
and everyone knows who Trichelle is.
So I think Trichelle, this way we don't have to
make other people who are totally innocent
by Karen bystanders,
we don't have, they can have their lives back
and we can now just call them all Trishelle's.
I don't know, do we really have the flex
to make that happen?
No.
But I'm putting it out there in the world.
I don't think we can change pop culture like that.
But you know who does?
Trishelle.
So you know what?
Here's written for you, Trishelle.
Just keep it up. Okay, just keep it up. So Trichelle's
like, well, I have a mil- she tells Peter and Peter's like, oh my god, why would
you think that? And she's like, well, I have a million reasons. She's super smart.
She's super savvy and she's never worried, which is kind of funny because
didn't- isn't that how the English guy John was describing her? Super smart. Super smart.
Of course smart people who come onto this show,
they have no hope.
Because everyone with a brain,
people are gonna be like, they're smart, get them.
Because it's just like real life, eh?
I mean, look at the fricking, the bumps in the locker.
The bumps in the lockers that have made a dent.
You know, those aren't the heads of stupid people.
Those are heads of very smart people
that have been shoved into that locker.
Thank you.
I just complimented myself as being a smart head.
Yeah, it was many lockers.
Well, the thing is this, the Trishel's credit, John did just ascribe her as
bright, et cetera, but Trishel, to her credit, is a massive murder warrior.
She's always concerned.
And last episode, she literally,
she literally lost her mind, you know, begging,
begging for that fire.
Yeah.
Okay.
So she thinks that Phaedra is the traitor
because Dan called her out.
And the only reason Dan called her out
was to look like the hero by feeding up a real traitor.
Right?
And so Peter's like, well, I guess we can just get rid of poverty
and then we'll suck up to Phaedra after, you know,
and just hope she doesn't murder us.
And then this is sort of funny.
This is funny for me as a viewer of the show
because I'm so mad that Trichelle of all people,
that Trichelle of the show,
see I didn't say the Karen of the show,
but that Trichelle of all people,
she's actually kind of right.
She's right.
She's right.
Her theory is correct.
Her suspicions are correct.
Her evidence is correct.
And I hate that because I love Phaedra.
I want to protect her at all costs.
But then I get mad at Peter
because Trishelle is totally correct.
But Peter, being like the dick that he is,
just completely dismisses her.
And then all of a sudden I'm now pivoting into,
but wait a second,
this is because Trishelle's a woman, you know?
And so I'm like, I can't believe now I'm suddenly in a split second
feeling a shred of empathy for Trishelle because she was just summarily
dismissed when she actually had the best case of all.
But I still don't like Trishelle.
But I'm just saying I was on an emotional journey.
Well, Peter just cannot admit how terrible he is at this game
because he is so excited
that he pulled a smart move by not telling people that he won or who won the security
blanket, whatever the thing is.
What is it?
The shield.
When he won the shield, like that was a very smart move, but he's so proud of himself.
He can't admit how dumb he is with that move where he asked, uh, Phaedra and Parvati to
work with him.
He cannot admit it.
And he knows he just asked to work with the trader basically.
Yeah, I'm dumb.
He's dumb dumb.
So he's dumb dumb dumb face.
So Kevin goes to the armory and Trishel and he and him and he talk.
And so he's like, OK, what are you thinking? I think it's pretty obvious
It's poverty and she's like um, it's fate right
Her eye twitches and Dan was trying to self-save himself by putting another trader on and like look at her eye
It twitches it twitches also. She's got hair growing out of it. It's creepy
Kevin's like, yes
Yes, totally whenever you get it And Kevin's like, yes, yes, totally. Whenever you get, whenever Kevin's like, yes,
you should just walk back your theory
because he's an idiot and anything that he snips out,
you know you're on the wrong path,
although actually technically she's on the right path.
So she's like, yeah, we need to get her out before poverty
because poverty is a wounded bird.
She's by herself and Peter's like, no, tonight,
if poverty gets to stay, she's not banished,
she has no reason not to get rid of one of us.
So he's worried that poverty is gonna get rid of him.
So he's really only considering himself right now
and not thinking the greater good of the game,
which is to get out all the traders.
Right.
And she's like, okay, but then just tell her
that we all think it's Phaedra,
and like see if she turns on Phaedra,
which is actually a good plan.
T'Johl's really in the pocket right now, to be honest.
Yeah, it's actually very smart.
And Peter's like, but we already know it, sir.
She goes, oh my God, think ahead, Peter.
And he goes, I am thinking ahead.
Okay.
And let me tell you, I'm on a very warm lap drinking milk from something very large and warm.
She's like, not your mother, Peter.
Okay.
Not two weeks into the future, Like three moves into the future. I miss you too, honey.
So Peter's like, but why would poverty be so willing to work with us? Trishelle's like,
oh my God, do I have to, I am Trishelle. I should not have to spell this out for you. Okay.
She'll do anything to save her ass.
If we give her a lifeline, of course she'll work with us.
And then Kevin goes, hmm, I think you're onto something.
Well, thanks Kevin, thanksishelle did make some valid points
and I'm willing to like suss it out,
but not really sure about this hooker.
Yeah.
So now Peter takes poverty to the side and he's like,
he's like, I don't know how in the world I'm gonna do this,
but I've got to go become poverty's best friend
and actually have her believe me.
And I think I'm her biggest enemy at this point,
but I have my work cut out for me.
That's, we're gonna do this.
We're gonna truck convince poverty to turn on Phadra.
I'm like, it's not gonna be hard.
I feel like she already did turn on Phadra three weeks ago.
Oh yeah.
Okay, so let's see here.
Next up, Peter takes povertyvati aside to talk to her.
So he's like, oh my God, how am I gonna do this?
Like, I'm her biggest enemy and you know,
I have my work cut out for me, but I have to convince her.
So he's like, okay, you wanna know
when I felt like our relationship took a turn.
And she's like, oh, when he told me to keep your secret
I didn't know if I could trust you so I trusted the wrong person from day one
I just felt so targeted from Larsson and Dan came up to me and said I'll be your number one
I'll protect you and that's how I operate in these games. I just need to I just need to find a man to
Amanda protect me
Amanda let me know everything's gonna be okay. He's like I can be that man. She's like, can you?
This was the weirdest conversation and they were looking into each other's eyes like oh my god
I'm so glad we finally have this talk together. She's like oh my god Thank God I found someone so strong to take care of me Peter. It's like oh my god
She's playing this guy like a fiddle
and he's totally falling for it.
Totally.
And she's like, I do not trust Peter at all,
but I do believe I can convince Peter that I'm a faithful
and then that will be amazing
because people believe what he says
and I will work with public enemy number one
and if it takes some of the suspicion off me, fine.
She's so smart,
cause this is a total bachelor move.
You know, it's like, you can't, you have to keep me because they were just mean to me
and all I really needed was a man to tell me it was going to be okay.
I mean, she's pulling this whole bullshit that comes from the bachelor and it totally
works on it and you would think that he's smarter, but he was not very good at the bachelor
either.
I think I've mentioned that before. Yes. So of course he ends up being like, wow,
now I, now Parvati's in love with me. He's like, she's so, I'm totally taking her to hometowns.
Like I, meanwhile she's dating the guy from Gentleman Jack. I mean, she's dating the chick from
Gentleman Jack, which is hilarious. Really? You. Parvati. Wow. It's not funny.
That's so fucking hot, by the way.
Oh my god.
I'm not even a lesbian, obviously,
but even I'm like, what a hot fucking couple those two are.
But anyway, he totally falls for it.
So nice work on her part.
Yeah.
And by the way, MJ is snooping.
And so she's sitting there on the side. Like, week, she's in like this pink satin outfit. So it's a nice upgrade from the jeans thing she was wearing last week. So she's listening in. And which is it's a really good outfit for being a an eavesdropper because she really, she does like blatant eavesdropping like she literally puts her hand up to her ear. And she's not even next to the door. She just like has a hand up. It was very much like, you know, eavesdropping on camera style. And so she's just like, you know, she's just like, you know, she's just like, you know, she's just like, you know, she's just like, you know, she's just like, you know, she's just like, you know, she's just like, you know, she's just like, you know, she's just like, you know, she's just like, you know, she's just like, you know, she's just like, you know, she's just like, you know, she's just like, you know, she's just like, you know, she's just like, you know, she's just like, you know, she's just like, you know, she's just like, you know, she's just like, you know, she's just like, you know, she's just like, you know, she's just like, you know, she's just like, you know, she's just like, you know, she's just like, you know, she's just like, you know, she's just like, you know, she's just like, you know, she's just like, you know, she's just like, you know, she's just like, you know, she's just like, you know, she's just like, you know, she's just like, you know, she's up to her ear. And she's not even next to the door. She just like has the hand up.
It was very much like, you know,
he was dropping on camera style.
And so then she goes back to the other room
and she's like,
Peter and Parvati are having a conversation right now.
And it just like doesn't add up.
And Kate's like,
yeah, well this is Parvati begging Peter for her life.
Which is like really sad to beg for Peter for anything.
Actually it's just so sad to talk to
any of you people. I'm just like bored. Can I get out of here?
I hate you all. I hope you all die. I would trade her all of
you in two seconds, just because you're fucking boring. Okay.
Kate has a great theory here. She goes, Yeah, well, she's
making the rounds and I will say she's like very persuasive.
And she's also a yoga teacher. You know, I took a big room yoga class once, the ones that are hot,
which is awful and hideous. And the yoga teach that yoga teacher voice,
just like, you know, they're just convincing you to stay in hell.
I was like, that is a very compelling argument.
And that should have been launched right from the beginning.
Well, you know, that's always mine. Like super new agey people who are trying to
get you to bend around and stretch and shit. Fuck you. You're evil and they're not trusting you
I know what you're out. I know what you're trying to do to me. I know I actually have a yoga class tonight for the first time in like six months
And I'm very scared because those yoga teachers are really evil. They're really really evil
They do make they always are so perky. It's like, okay guys. Well, we're just gonna do a little bit of light work here
so just like bend your leg behind your neck and hold this pose for about five minutes and it'll
be great guys. I'm like, why? You know what? Maybe I'm looking this up because I don't want to be
saying the wrong thing. I don't know where I read Gentleman Jack. I thought I read that,
but now I looked it up
and this is from Diva Magazine, who I trust any magazine.
Now, I will not trust anybody having anything to do
with yoga, but I will trust anybody having anything
to do with the word Diva.
That's automatically wins a gaze trust right there.
This is from Diva Magazine and says,
the comedian and survivor star have brought some queer joy to the start of 2024.
Comedian and actor Mae Martin have made sure to leave 2023 with a bang by hard launching their
new girlfriend Parvati shallow on Instagram. So there you go. Yeah. Yeah. Good. Yeah. Good. Good
for her. Good for Parv. Yeah. So it's not, it's non-binary, it's not lesbian.
So excuse me, do not do that on purpose everybody.
Thank you for realizing.
It's still good to know.
Parvati, you go girl, it's my point, okay?
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
So in another room, Sharae and Phaedra are sitting with John
and Sharae is like, I wonder when the escape concert's
gonna begin and then she asks Phaya's like, I wonder when the escape concert's gonna begin. And then she asked Phaedra, like, you know,
who are Phaedra's choices for who might be a,
besides Parvati, who might be a traitor.
And Phaedra's like, I don't know.
I mean, you just don't wanna boldly accuse somebody,
but Peter Rack's so crazy.
Like, you don't wanna think so.
But then, oh, which is good because that's how Pedro,
she does more than Dan,
because she does put a name out there.
She doesn't do a hard accusation,
but she does just enough to be like,
I will participate in this, I will do it.
She's like, I don't want to put anybody's name on the block.
So you, but you can if you want to put this name up there.
Yeah.
Just wanted to put up there.
And so then we cut back to Peter and he's totally fallen for it
He's like maybe I was wrong about you after all she's like I I just I know this no chance that you would ever talk to me again
Because you made up your mind after that, but I'm just you know, I've become a complete porcupine
You know how girls do when they feel like they're not loved we just become so mean to poor man who don't deserve it
So sorry if I've been prickly to you. It's only cuz I love you
I've become porcupine. I just rely on the comfort of strangers and Peters like oh believe me
I've been filling your porcupine quills and I've been coming right back at you too. So truce. Oh
It's a man. I haven't truce me. Absolutely sir
Yeah, and he's like well, maybe you aren't a traitor then but I think phejra like legit phejra was the one
I thought was with you, but why not eliminate phejra? We could work for you. We could get rid of phejra
Let's work together a little bit now like if we get phejra, then that's a way to get people off of your back
like if we get Phaedra, then that's a way to get people off of your back.
Well, I mean, I said, I said, I would never do, I would do whatever it takes.
This part, especially if a gentleman comes and saves me.
And he's like, okay, then give me a hug.
Oh, really? Even though we're not married yet?
Will you think less of me?
So they hug and she's like, I adore Phaedra. I don't want to turn on her,
but I just need to stay in the game.
And if that means getting Phaedra out, then so be it.
This is my shoot you in the headband.
This is my shoot you in the head headband.
So now they all have to drive off to the cabin.
And kids like, well, I'm expecting this mission is going to be awful because they all are,
and it's also raining. She's like, well,
how did I come back to this stupid show? So then Trishelle,
she's like going on this rant. She's, she's talking to Parvati, uh,
while Sandra and John are listening and she goes, Parvati,
I know your name is thrown around a lot for banishment,
but I'm not convinced that you're a trader and neither is Peter.
And Poverty's like, well, thank you because I'm not. And I have way more reasons for Phaedra to be a trader than you.
I talked to Kevin, I talked to Peter, and whenever I'm with Phaedra in the morning, she is never nervous.
And she doesn't even wear a beret. I was going through my notes last night and I have a shitload on her.
But I'm nervous because if we don't get her out of this banishment, she's gonna go all the way to the end and take all the faithful's money. So don't don't don't she's gonna be coming for
banishment. So now they get to this creepy cabin and Dr. Will's there. Man that guy ages well. I
don't think he was gonna age well because he's just so pasty and I just thought he was he's so
pasty and black eyed. I thought he was gonna to end up kind of like a little albino bat
just kind of hanging out.
And I guess that's what they're going for with this
is just for him to look super creepy, which he does.
But it's so hot.
Well, he is he is really not aged at all.
But that's also because pasty was always his brand.
Like that he's a dermatologist, right?
So his whole thing was always that
he stays out of the sun and he always like, he's always buffed and shiny and like the
only way you know he's gotten older is that he's, he's Lez Hergo salt and pepper, which
I think looks great on him by the way. But it's funny because he's like, hello, I'm
Dr. Will. And there was like a meme on going around that was just like all the women from Bravo
just like huh who like everyone on CBS is like oh my god dr. Will and everyone bravo is like
Sorry, who are you?
Yeah, that's the trouble with mixing all of the different channels together
You know cuz I don't I don't have the reverence I should for a lot of the survivor people just because I haven't watched it in so many years
I'm like, I can mother.
Yeah. But will I do? Obviously like will I got.
So he explains the game.
So basically this is a it's an escape room and they all have to be locked into this house.
And they have to collect shields and keys and they have to guide each other through the house.
Someone has to stay in one room and guide everybody with clues.
And then some people have to go into these tunnels and crawl around where
there's lots of creepy shit.
Yeah.
And basically if you don't want to do it anymore, your safe word is you go,
yell, haggis.
That's to me is my favorite part of this.
Cause by and large, this was just like a fear factory thing with people yell Haggis and get out of there. Merchants.
Here comes one right now.
It's like, I hate you.
I would not stay here even if I was dropping on me.
I was going to call Haggis anyway.
Bye.
So she leaves.
And your time starts.
Sure.
I'll leave your time starts.
Haggis.
No, but they were also the ones that were standing in the I feel like your time starts. Sure, I'll leave. Your time starts, Haggis, now.
But they were also the ones that were standing
in the clue room.
Like they had to give the clues, which was hilarious.
And so, so Kate's giving blue,
she had to hold like two switches at the same time.
When you hold one switch, the other one goes off
and it controls the lights in the tunnel.
So she had to like vacillate between that.
And she's just standing there bored.
And so one good positive thing about that is she's staring at the ceiling like I hate my life
Get me out of here, but as she's staring at the ceiling she sees there's a trap door. So she's like, oh hell no
I'm not standing here. I'm not doing this part. I'm not doing this part because there's a trap door
Something's gonna fall out of that trap door. You know it's Pavlov's trap door
So she's like fuck this so she gets out of there and bugs fall on everybody else.
It's, it was, I would say this challenge went on
for a very long time.
Like I felt like this was not the best challenge.
I thought the cabin challenge last year was funnier,
but it was funny to me watching the Bravo women
just be like, mm-mm, haggis, haggis, haggis, haggis.
So there's a lot of like people crawling through mud, trying to find the stuff, haggis, haggis, haggis. So there's a lot of people crawling through mud,
trying to find the stuff, finding the shields,
it's just going on and on.
And the people who do find the shield,
again, they're gonna keep it secret.
Who gets the shield again?
I don't even remember who got the shield.
Was it Trichelle again?
CT, I think CT gives it to Trichelle.
Well, Trichelle, yeah, he gives it to Trichelle, yeah, as a peace offering.
It's like, oh my God, thank you.
Maybe we are best friends,
just like I thought this whole time.
Yeah, so, and Peter of course is like,
do not tell anybody who got that shield.
Yeah, so they come out and CT is like last,
because he has to help Kevin out.
And then he CG pretends they're like, oh, did you get that last gold?
And he's like, no.
And then he goes, hold on.
I think there's like a snake in my pants.
And he pulls out the gold and they all scream.
And he's like, I mean, there was a snake in my pants.
But there was also a gold, gold brick.
And the thing about all the Bravo people leaving the challenge was they
literally just left Kevin there alone to do everything himself and it wasn't a one-man job so he
had to go through the whole title thing alone which was I loved it.
Good for you. Kevin I can't stand Kevin I think actually of all the people on the
show the one I actually really dislike the most is Kevin because he's just like
an asshole he's like an asshole and he's really dumb at least Rachelle at
least Rachelle is figuring things out like Rachelle's like an asshole and he's really dumb at least Rochelle at least Rochelle is figuring things out like she shells like
Strangely on top of things so I have to give her like some respect for that
But Kevin just has no redeeming qualities whatsoever
And how he eats, you know, there are some things I just don't forgive with people like Southern charm Olivia
Have like a big hero season this season, but I've watched her eat
And I will never be able to be an Olivia fan. That's it. I can't do it. It's imprinted. Austin, Olivia, Shep, that whole cast,
they eat disgusting lean. That's it. They're dead to me. So the cast has won 15 grand,
but because four people left, they lose four grand. And MJ is like, sorry, I tried, which,
of course, she did not. She was out in 30 seconds.
She's like, guys, I can't do this.
So Alan, Alan also says that, you know, someone want to shield.
He's like, is there anyone who would like to share that they got the shield?
No, a deafening silence.
Okay.
Your face, mud, bugs, and rodents.
Please get yourselves a brush, a brush down before you come to the round table the only snakes and rats in there should be you
lot toodles I felt bad for the actual rats that were in the show because they
put some hairless rats in the show and I'm glad that nobody stomped them or
like kicked them out of the way or anything because I know animal cruelty
and rats are actually really nice I I feel like some, I think Sandra was actually nice
to the rat, she goes, hi Mr. Rat, that's some boy.
That was cute, she actually pet the rat.
And actually snakes and rats,
I think that's also another survivor reference.
I think there's like a lot of references happening,
you know, like weaved into the show,
we don't even notice until we go back and read the notes.
Oh my God, you just did it though.
Cause weaves are very big on housewives. So then Peter is talking to Parvati about like,
let's get her, you know?
And he's like, I was worried, we have the votes, you know?
And he's like, I don't think I would be worried if I were
you and she's like, well, I don't know that I trust Peter,
but now I need to see where John's head is at
Because he is like seen as the most faithful of the faithful. So she sits John down
And she gives she tries to kind of do the same thing she did with Peter
And so she's like, I really just wanted to talk to you
Because you know, I just realized that when I feel like I'm under attack
I can you know get a little harsh and I think that's what I feel like I'm under attack, I can get a little harsh,
and I think that's what I've done with you, John.
Yeah.
And she's like, yeah, Dan, it's just like,
you know, this target, I trust the wrong person,
because Dan, this target is just stuck on me,
and when I feel like I'm under threat,
I just think it's just a continuation
of how I've been living things
that I've been going through for the past two years,
and the only way I've gone through that was like completely masquerading my emotions and putting on headbands and I'm just like doing the same thing here
So I just like don't think it's doing me any favors anymore
It's like this is the first time I've observed you so emotional
Thought is worth of all the people that I've met in this game
nobody has been able to withstand the pressure
of having something so gigantic on top of their heads.
Is that the second head that's growing out of you?
Is it a new jaw?
What is that?
It's like an archway growing out of your head.
It's like you've put a horseshoe on your head.
It's almost as if your head is a piece of luggage
that someone is going to pull the handle out of
to roll down the airport expressway.
It's like you're in one of those games
where you're surrounded by stuffed animals
and a claw came down to pluck you out
and you said no other way around
and you took the claw with you.
It's as if I have to lift up the handle,
take out the tiny curing K-Cut pod, put a new one in
and slam down the handle on your head to make the curing work.
So what's happening? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Nobody has revealed and displayed greater guts than you in that vice grip of a Keurig machine.
Now listen here my little chip clip. I will do whatever I need to to make sure that you're safe.
Now be careful of all the balls flying at your face. Croquet balls, that is. It looks sort of like a croquet, croquet game.
So she goes, I would never, I would, I am a faithful,
I would never.
And she goes, well, I just put a little crack in his mind.
And I think like, you know, maybe he's thinking like,
maybe she isn't a traitor after all.
If I can get away with this,
maybe I have a new career in acting, which is funny.
I don't think that there's not much of a survivor
to acting pipeline, so I'm not sure Parvati.
Not sure that's gonna work out.
Yeah, not yet, not yet.
Although Mike White has built the survivor
to extremely famous TV writer pipeline.
And actually Mike White has created the survivor
to bit part in white lotus pipe line because he does cast
people from his seasons of survivor on the white lotus, which is hilarious.
Oh, really?
I didn't know that.
Yeah.
That's it's little Easter eggs for those of us who are survivor fans.
Not like I can't.
I love that because most people I feel like try to distance themselves from reality TV.
Like I'm a real actor.
So that's good that he's like bringing reality TV
to HBO.
That's fucking great.
It is good.
And I'm sure there are like some survivors
who've done very well with acting.
Cause I know people are going to write and say,
actually this person has been doing this for like five years.
So like, I get it.
I get it.
I get it.
So then, um,
Phaedra is eating and she's basically rubbing blood all over her face
saying, I'm a traitor, I'm a traitor, because she's just rolling around in her
towel, which is complimenting food.
She's like, hmm, pork belly, yummy.
Oh, that was delicious.
I love the pork belly.
I'm like, oh my God, she's just basically confessing over and over again in here.
There's literally a sign that says buffet for the traders only and she's just in there and mmm. Yeah me
Fadre if you're alone in this game, that's bad go to the people so
Meanwhile Trichella sitting with John CT and Kate and John's like so what about tonight's business and Kate's like well
Well since I've been here poverty was mentioned like every single time,
so I'm just gonna finish that one,
because otherwise it's stupid to do anything else.
So okay, this conversation's done.
Gels like, no, I have something else
that I think it could be from day one.
And by day one, I mean two days ago,
I have noticed some things and written them all down
and taken pretty good notes.
You know, for Phaedra, I have a ton of stuff, a ton and ton of stuff.
I'm like, Trishelle, you did not start taking notes on Phaedra until Dan mentioned something a day ago.
Otherwise, you would have said something because the moment you're suspicious of someone,
you broadcast it to everyone who's nearby.
Yeah, and she's like, well, everybody's gonna vote how they want, but I'm just gonna give
my point and like, if you think they're believable cool
Just know that I'm voting for Phaedra. So I'm gonna go ahead and so she starts giving them
She starts giving and she's like look I'm not gonna be murdered because I have the shield
But I'm less convinced about poverty than Phaedra. So Kate's like oh, okay
This is somebody that you'd spent a whole game being like,
oh, I definitely know this person is a faithful.
Wait, who are they talking about?
I got lost in my next.
I got lost too.
I started thinking about the game.
So Trichelle's like, okay, I have a whole list of shit, so don't worry.
So then Kate's like, I'm just confused.
These people, like everybody keeps saying, poverty, poverty, poverty.
And now in the final hour, Trichelle is throwing out Fedra like, are you throwing a wrench in the poverty plan?
Just stick to the poverty, please.
I mean, it's the headbands alone, okay?
Let's just get the main anchor out of here.
Sorry, headbands.
Listen, I just want to vote her out just basically
because the headbands, I just can't stand looking
at them anymore.
So Trishelle's like, poverty's by herself,
but Fedra will be hard to get out in the end.
I'm like, I don't know if that logic really works.
You're right, but I don't know if that logic
actually supports you being right in this situation.
So Sandra's like, well, that's why you want her name
to come up today instead of tomorrow.
And she's like, yeah, does she know
that you're gonna do this?
And Trichelle says, no, because she's such a good arguer.
She's the smartest person here, whatever.
Maybe I take terrible notes.
And if it's not her, I will burn my notebook.
Okay, I'm gonna burn it.
Which by the way, she's not gonna burn her notebook.
She never will.
She doesn't have a notebook.
She doesn't have a notebook to it.
I don't believe her.
So then, Phaedra enters the room and they're like,
oh no, and she's like, oh, you're quiet.
Did you all just eat the pork belly?
It's delicious.
And this group, they don't have any of that chill.
Like on Survivor, I will say,
people are really good about pivoting conversations
when someone barges in,
but here they all, Kate just goes,
well, I have to use the ladies room,
have a great night everyone, bye.
I'd rather be pooping, goodbye.
They all just leave.
Yeah, and Phaedra's like, okay, well this feels weird,
but I don't feel my name is gonna come up, but who knows?
And this is where I start worrying about Phaedra,
because she should know, she should be able to sense
that they're coming for her.
And she should be worrying about planting seeds
to get somebody else out, you know?
Because at this point, Phaedra's always on the defense.
She's gotta do something, I mean,
other than murdering people, but like she's gotta do something, I mean, other than murdering people.
Right, like she's, she's gotta do something
to cause suspicion for people.
But I don't, I think that Phaedra going into the round table,
I think she thinks that she's more in the clear
than she is after the whole Dan Fiasco.
And I think what she's gonna learn in this round table
is that like, oh, probably going forward,
she is gonna have to be ready with like all the excuses,
right?
So, Phaedra, and Phaedra feels, she knows, I think Phaedra goes into this thinking like,
okay, this is the round table where I've got to turn on Parvati.
I don't think she realizes this is going to be a round table where she's going to have
to defend herself so much.
Right.
Okay.
So, then we get to the round table and um,
Phaedra's like, we know Parvati's a good girl, but goodbye. Goodbye.
And Parvati's like, you see, they're going to be me or Phaedra,
but there's no other names on the block. So I wish there was a way we could both be safe, but unfortunately I'm choosing my headband over Phaedra.
She's out.
Shelle's like, I have like the most evidence that you can have in this game.
And by the way, people don't realize this.
I have a law degree.
Well actually I have an American girl place doll that is a lawyer and that makes me a lawyer.
So I've got the evidence and I'm feeling a bit nervous, but Phaedra has three rider
dies and I could show them on paper that Phaedra is a traitor and they still will not vote
for her.
So Alan comes in fabulously.
You know, he's like, who has run out of time?
Who will be punished tonight?
It's a big, long silence.
And Parvati's like, OK, well, I guess I need to start today.
So I know my name's been out there.
Some of you are wondering how I could still
be married to Warren Beatty.
Well, you know, just don't speak,
just don't watch any of his old movies.
It was worth it for Bugsy.
It was worth it for Bugsy.
Okay, well, people are saying that I'm acting weird,
but thankfully I'm just a girl
and I've met a man whose name is Peter,
who's made me feel secure again.
So I would just like to thank Peter
and all men everywhere for what they do for sad, sad, weak women
who just need to be told what,
Peter, what was I gonna say?
To do.
What to do?
What to do.
Thank you.
Yeah, I've made some poor decisions
in who I decided to trust.
And I made friends with Dan,
which was a big problem because he was a trader.
And I didn't know he was a trader.
No, I'm in a real big predicament
and I've clammed up like a shell and shell says,
so going over my notes that I mentioned that I've got notes.
I've got notes. Yeah.
So going over my notes from last night, I was looking back and I was like,
when did we like start talking about poverty? Right.
And I didn't have much on poverty and I had like acting suspect, super quiet,
which by the way, that's what you use to railroad about five people
out of this house, Trishelle.
So she goes, and those are not really compelling arguments
unless they're working in my favor.
So, but for Pedro, I have so much for you.
Like I'm gonna start with the least compelling
and I'm gonna end with the most compelling.
Like, okay, Trishelle.
Trishelle has the floor, everyone.
Yeah, so she just goes on and on.
She's like, well, the first thing is
that whenever we go to breakfast, you're never nervous.
I'm like, but wasn't the last round table,
the whole thing that Phaedra does too much?
Isn't that the reason why she had to say,
I do too much because you do too little?
So first Phaedra is two over the top at breakfast
and now they're saying she's too low key.
So I don't understand.
I mean, Trishelle, again, correct,
but I'm just saying your logic is not consistent.
And she's like, you don't seem surprised at who's murdered.
And she goes, what would make you think
I don't seem surprised?
I mean, whenever I'm surprised about anything,
I usually say, boiled egg, boiled egg. I I mean like wouldn't you also I mean
yes someone got murdered but I mean the real story here is their scones so
Trishelle says your non-reaction like you're never worried you're not scared
about being murdered at all and I'm not sure what that means and she's like I've
been nervous numerous times I don't know what you want me to do to be nervous.
I'm not frantic like you.
I love that.
I love that.
I'm not frantic like you.
I feel like I've never heard frantic used
in such an insulting way before.
It's great.
And such a shell's like,
well, I said I start with the lowest thing.
That was lowest.
And so I'm like, well, I said, I start with the lowest thing that was lowest and so I'm like,
okay, so what's next?
And so she says, well, the most compelling things for me,
the thing for me was, and I do not like,
I do not see a way around this, Dan was smart.
And I knew he was gonna do a round table and say someone's
name that was a trader because if he put a trader up,
then he'd look like a hero to everybody else
for getting rid of a trader.
And I think he turned on you.
And that's why he said your name.
But so again, strong argument by Trashel on that one.
But John, I think actually he comes in and he says,
Fedra, what's possible incentive does Don have
at the point at which he knows he is going to be banished
permanently from the castle to lie.
And she's like, well, I would think that he would protect the traders. I mean, he's not gonna give someone up who is a trader.
Mm-hmm. And Kate's like, well, I remember last year we voted out two traders
and I wish it had been that easy that that we would have just like banished and found the trader of who whoever the most recent
banished trader had voted for.
That would have made the game very easy.
I've got an idea.
How about this, instead of voting on any traders,
why don't we just take poverty's headband
and throw it in a fire?
I think that'll just make everyone happy.
Everyone gets to stay.
Why don't we just vote out people in terrible fashion?
If you're wearing a headband or a beret,
let's throw it in the fire.
Okay, so Kevin's like, well, I have observations as well.
Oh, great.
So he's like, Phadra, your eye twitches.
And she goes, well, I've never had anybody come from my twitchy eye.
And Trishelle's like, yeah, well, I noticed it too.
I noticed it too.
Don't act like it was you two.
You were the one who brought that idea on the table.
I know.
I don't think we're allowed to be like coming for people's twitchy eyes anyway.
I don't think that's very nice.
Yeah.
Patreons like, oh, Lord.
And Kevin goes, I'm just curious.
Have you grown up with the twitches?
I'm just curious. OK. OK.
Matlock, let's settle down over here.
This is not this is not a helpful
Okay, Perry Mason relax over there. You really got her now
Oh, yeah, is he trying to imply that like this is like late life twitching like somehow
Like the twitch like arrived here at the game
I guess he's trying to say like is this do you just have like a twitching issue or
Does your twitch only come out when you're acting guilty? I thought that was hilarious. Is the
twitching from childhood? Tell us, where did the twitching start? Is there a Wikipedia
entry on your twitch? Yeah, so she's like no one's ever said that. I've never heard
in a day in my life that my eye twitches, how dare you? And he's like just an
observation.
I mean, if you would have observed it,
you would have seen it too,
but it would look like a strobe light was on
because your eye is twitching.
I bet. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I feel it's just intuition. Poverty could well be a touch as a deception and a mistress of murder, but I have heard
what you have said in relation to Dan, but there is no doubt that you were his accomplice
and he yours and possibly his partner in crime.
I have detected that you have been worried about banishment, but that you've been, if
you like, serene about the threat of murder.
At the sacrifice ritual, people were given the opportunity to plead for their lives,
and you didn't.
You chose to say nothing.
You are a traitorous wench, and you shall be decapitated at dawn.
Damn, John, Jesus.
I love that John ultimately did not fall for the sob story.
That was great.
And so she says, she's like, you know, I've been dead scared until very recently when
there's been so much suspicion on me because I felt like the more suspicion on me, the
more the traitor are going to keep me around
because they wouldn't murder someone who's probably
going to be the next banished because that would be smart
for the trader to do that.
So I've been a lot more scared about being banished
because there's been a lot of suspicion on me.
You know, Kevin was like, wait, wait,
can you start that from the top?
I couldn't follow that.
I know it's a lot of monologuing.
And so Peter's like, I have an observation.
Peter, don't you just see what happened?
Like, let it go.
Like you just seen this person get her face sealed.
I mean, my God, it's like literally someone nailing nails
into a coffin.
And Peter's like, oh, here we go.
I vote for Berge.
I have an observation.
Peter is the best son there ever was.
Okay, continue.
So he's like, Phaedra, I do believe
that I haven't seen true faithful qualities from you.
And in regards to the fear that comes naturally
with being a faithful,
and you're not privy to that fear,
because you're a traitor.
What?
Why is he trying to sound smart right now?
And so she goes, oh, you're the faithful king, right?
Which I love it, because it's something like so satanic.
You know, it's like whenever there's a demon in the movie,
they're like, oh, why don't you, holy,
what do you love Jesus?
So Peter says, I didn't say that.
I think Dan did tell us something,
whether he intended to or not.
I just can't like lose that from my mind.
Michelle says, yeah, I just think that like so many people
have gone home for like a lot less.
I'm like, yeah, because of you Trishelle.
You are the one who sends people home for a lot less.
So Kate steps in and she says, okay, well,
you guys were very passionate about voting out poverty.
She goes, yeah, tell her bread my notes again.
She goes, okay, but so why did those reasons evaporate again? Anybody? Anybody? Bueller, Bueller, Bueller, Bueller,
Bueller.
Bueller, Peter says, well, I had a conversation with poverty that completely shifted my view
and like, I'm not saying it's 100%, but the pendulum started coming back down. So they
have now given Phaedra enough time to come up with her
retort. So she says, well, because there's a backdoor deal going down. The other day,
when I was in the armory with Peter and poverty, Peter made the interesting comment,
poverty, I can work with you. We can work together. And I said, let me dismiss myself from this,
because I don't want to be a part of this conversation. So this was great because
because I don't want to be a part of this conversation. So this was great because
Phaedra is now using Peter's attempt at a trap against him.
And I think that this is a key moment for her.
And she's also extremely smart
because she's using the momentum
she's already got, they've already got against poverty, right?
So she's not doing like stupid,
Peter could have gotten away with this by not accusing Phaedra.
Like he could have just kept his hands clean, but instead he tried it.
And yeah, yeah, I think that actually Phaedra, well, I mean,
she's probably smart in doing this,
but I hope that she plant seeds that Peter was recruited by poverty,
which is why they suddenly started working together. I hope,
I really hope she plants that seed. Yeah. So she's like, okay,
well they're working together and I wouldn't do it. Yeah. So she's like, okay, well, they're working together
and I wouldn't do it, right?
So she, Peter's like, uh, uh, uh,
he just looks all scared.
And he's like, uh, okay guys, well, I guess I'll be honest,
but I know this sounds crazy.
And Peter goes, please do be honest.
He's like, well, when that conversation happened,
I was just being maybe a little cocky.
And I was like, oh, I got her, like, you know,
dead on my sides.
And, you know, I thought, do you want to work together?
It's like, oh, Peter, no.
You didn't think you were going to be called out on this?
And Parvi goes, and I said, Peter,
why would you want to work with me
if you think I'm a traitor?
And he says, and then I said, I'm just joking.
I'm just joking.
So now Kate, you know, Kate can't stand bullshit.
So she goes, okay, so after you had the conversation, that was a joke.
Do you want to work together? But suddenly you've changed your mind about
poverty, who you were so passionate about. Halton, like, make this make sense for me,
please. Oh yeah. He's really sealed his own fate here. So Peter's like,
why are you defending fader so much? And she's like, because I think it's weird
that you've been so poverty, so poverty all
this time.
And then right after you have this meeting, then you're suddenly on her side.
I'm still not a party.
I'm still not a poverty.
I'm not done speaking, which I was glad that she could use one of the men's thing against
them because that's their thing.
I'm still talking, ma'am.
Yeah.
She's like, I'm defending Phadra because it's weird that you're so poverty all the time.
And then you want to work together and switch it to
Phatra and really like the whole thing that your whole big case is relying on
is the fact that Dan's being this brilliant game player and he must have
been like giving you a clue on his way out and no Dan sucked at this game
which we all saw and that's why he's not here anymore.
I love this. See I guess what I love about this is that like what's funny is that
all the faithful are right. Like they are, they're going to hit a trader no matter what,
which is what's so funny. But I like that. I guess for me, when I watch the show, I'm like
thinking of arguments that can be used to turn the faith like arguments for Phadra's sake.
So I love when people actually use them because that's what she's doing here.
And so I get excited for that.
Well, you got it there with that one. That's for sure.
So CT's like, I don't know what to think, but it's time to vote.
So now they vote.
So Sandra tells us, I totally believe Parvati's a traitor.
I'm glad she's finally got the eat at the round table.
She deserves that.
So CT's like, yeah, you know,
me and Phaedra's getting along pretty well,
but you know, like I can't,
I can't, I can't like the fire someone who picked me
in that tour ceremony.
All right.
So I'm going for the other chick.
So I was like, MJ,
who do you think is the traitor and why?
So MJ does poverty.
Phaedra does poverty, of course.
But Phaedra's actually respectful in her confessional.
She's basically like, I think she played a courageous game.
I think she was a great traitor,
but it's time to leave the game.
She has to, you know?
She's not like, she's like very respectful.
They both are to each other and then Sandra votes for poverty and
But Peter votes for Phaedra
Yeah, and John votes for poverty and poverty votes for Phaedra. So this is not looking good for Peter
He's really a dummy. My god. Yeah, but it's all I was still very nervous. I was like, oh my god
If they get rid of Phaedra, I will be so mad. So
They're just like voting it's, it's coming right down to it,
but ultimately it's poverty who gets voted out.
Sounds like poverty you have received the most votes
and are banished from the game.
Come forward to the circle of truth,
not related to the circle of friends,
which is available on streaming.
Before you leave my castle forever,
please reveal to us, are you a faithful or are you a traitor?
And she's like, guys, I've spent the last two years
of my life practicing truth telling
and emotional authenticity.
I love that.
So was she traumatized by her time on Survivor 2
where she's like, guys, I've done emotional work on myself as a villain from Survivor. Cause that's what
villains always do. They're like, guys, I've been working on myself for two years. So yeah,
I think maybe she's talking about a divorce. She had mentioned a divorce earlier in the season,
like she was recently divorced. So I'm wondering if she's talking about like going through that
process. I have no idea honestly what she really is talking about.
My suspicion is about a divorce.
But yeah, people always, whenever they're villains, they always talk about how
they're like working on themselves, making themselves better.
So,
she's like, yeah, so I was really working on myself and I wanted to play a faithful
game, but I wasn't, I'm a trader fuckers.
Yep.
And suddenly they all clap and they're happy.
And she's like, that was a good speech for a dummy.
And she's like, all right, I'm burning my notebook.
I'm burning my notebook, which she's not gonna do.
Also, she doesn't have to because she already said,
well, I know Parvati is a trader,
but we should just get Phaedra out first.
So I don't know why she has to burn her notebook,
but I would like her to because I don't want her to come for Phaedra.
OK. Well, let's see what happens.
So are we done?
And we see. No. Oh, my God, there's a lot more going on.
There's more show. Oh, someone's gone.
Let's OK. Bye, everybody.
Thank you for being here.
I know you're like, hey, this is fun.
So I read her speech and I was like, then I'll wrap this up.
I'm going to go read.
I'm going to go read on People magazine about, uh, Parvati's divorce.
She did get divorced in 2022 for anyone.
When bring.
So Phage, so everyone goes drink some wine and Page was like, whoo, that was a lot.
That was very scary for me.
So Kevin's talking with MJ and he goes, let me just tell you why I don't feel good today.
Cause like all of a sudden Peter not having any suspicion at all of poverty that threw me off a
little bit. But I don't know what, no, if it's like really how he felt. And for some reason,
I don't know if I believe Peter, there's just something not sitting right with me. So this is
great because now Peter's Kevin is one of like the one of the most loyal Peter people and now he's suspicious of Peter because
of how everything came out.
This is a bad look for Peter.
He was out of his having a secret meeting with Parvati.
He changed his game plan and now Parvati is revealed to be a traitor which makes Peter
look really shitty. I am praying that the faithful get totally confused by this
and turn it all against Peter.
That would be amazing.
And what would be amazing if that does happen,
is that if he does wind up getting banished because of this,
he could have been a trader all along.
He had the opportunity to become a trader and save his game.
And instead he tried to be all like virtuous.
So I really would have banished him. Yeah, he could have been a trader and gone all the. And instead he tried to be all like virtuous. So I really, really bad at it.
Yeah, he could have been a traitor
and gone all the way to the end, you know?
Because they really all believed him.
But alas, he's a dummy.
So he calls Kate to speak alone, to have an alone talk,
which is just never gonna work out.
I don't think, Kate, anybody on the years of television
we've watched Kate, anybody said,
can we have a private talk where they ended up
looking like the bigger person? Yeah. Kate? No, it's never gonna, I mean, maybe've watched Kate, anybody said, can we have a private talk where they ended up looking like the bigger person?
Yeah.
Kate?
No, I was never gonna.
I mean, maybe with Captain Lee, but never with like anybody, her peers, you know what
I mean?
Never.
It never works.
And when, and as he pulls her, Sandra is like watching and say, here's the thing.
Peter is, is he was just starting to get Sandra's trust.
And now she's like, Oh, Peter's fucked up.
Peter is more trader behavior than anybody.
Yeah.
Okay.
So then, um, Sandra and Phaedra talk a little and Sandra's like, Oh my god,
Peter's fucked up, right?
You know, she goes, Yeah, I mean, come on.
And she's like, his, his behavior is odd.
I mean, if you're not a trader, how could you be working with the trader?
This is odd. I mean, if you're not a trader, how could you be working with the trader?
This is fishy.
So then Peter pulls Kate aside and he's like, well, look, I was just trying to play with
poverty.
She goes, yeah, I know.
He just lied to the table of faithfuls about somebody, you know, being not a trader when
you definitely knew that they were a trader.
So you're stupid and you're going to go to stupid jail.
And that's just what you're going to get're gonna go to stupid jail.
And that's just what you're gonna get.
This is a good talk, are we finished?
I'm gonna go not eat and watch people
without things on their head, do things.
Because I think I've heard that right.
And he's like, no, no, no, I was not faithful to a traitor.
She was gonna be gone tomorrow night.
Do you not believe anything I've been saying?
Like I was gassing her up the entire day
and she was like, no, I don't believe it.
No, no, you're stupid.
I don't believe you.
You're a stupid person.
You're boring. You're dumb, you're all laundry. No, you're boring. You're all laundry.
You're stupid and boring.
You're all laundry until the end of time.
So basically now they really,
Kate thinks Peter's a traitor,
Sandra thinks Peter's a traitor,
Kevin's thinking Peter's a traitor.
This is excellent.
You know, I would have liked it if Parvati and Phaedra
could have survived intact, both of them,
but I love this suspicion
so now we go over the turret the turret and
Alan's like the clock chimes, you know, they're faithful players to their chambers
But under the cover of darkness our last remaining traitor is taking the world trodden parts of the turret
But in this place thou shalt not suffer a traitor to leave alone
But in this place thou shalt not suffer a traitor to leave alone."
So he comes to see Phaedra, and Phaedra's like, I'm the last one standing from day one.
And I belong in a castle, honey.
I'm definitely a queen.
The others fell by the wayside because they were a little suspicious,
so I deserve mis-geniality for traitors, honey.
So now it's time for Alan to join her and make her pick a new
Yes, so
So he's like second then Pedro there was one and he's all by myself
She's Pedro as per the rules tonight
You will be afforded the opportunity to recruit a faithful to join years.
Who would it be? Because I would like that. You will meet face to face tonight in the castle
dungeon. You must let one faithful and offer them an ultimatum. You will ask them a very simple
question. Join you or die. I'm gonna ask Kate because we have the same sort of kindred spirit. She says things I can't,
but she also understands the game will be a murdering duo.
Wow. Wow. They really they really amped fader out for the slide.
So Kate. Murdering duo. It's like a lean into that twitchy eye fader and down
So Kate gets the letter telling her to go to the dungeon. She's like dungeon. This is not good
But it's I guess better be than being stuck in a room with Rachel Riley
So she has the dungeon and she's like, oh my god. Oh god. I hate this place. Look at this shithole
I escaped one toxic ginger only to be led to another.
Hi, Fergus.
Hi.
I don't really don't understand what I did wrong.
Could you bring me some champagne, Fergus?
And he just locks her in the dungeon.
She's like, Fergus.
I like how Kate screams for help.
Fergus.
What the fuck is going on?
Fergus.
Fergus. Okay, fine
So that was it we now to the ending yeah, the question is whether or not
I mean obviously Kate's gonna do it Kate will become a trader and then Kate and Phaedra together is kind of a dream team like this is
This is amazing. This is do you think this was the right pick by Phaedra?
Oh yeah.
I think it's a good pick because for whatever reason,
I would suspect Kate right from the beginning
because she's Kate and she's also like,
clearly I hate all of you.
She has that vibe, she doesn't try to hate it.
And she's stuck up for Phaedra who does kind of look
suspicious at this point,
I think, especially after, I think whenever somebody comes for you, you look suspicious
naturally. So yeah, I think that they might come for Kate, but they've come for everybody,
they're going to come for everybody at some point. And I think Kate will be good at dropping.
We haven't really seen a ton of manipulation yet
where people are manipulating the other players
to go after people.
And I think Kate will be good at that.
Yeah, I think Kate is a great choice.
She does know the game.
I mean, you can make arguments for other things.
I mean, this would be a chance
to actually put Peter against the wall
where it's like, okay, this time you have to become a trader.
Otherwise you're out of the game.
And he probably would fold then.
But I guess I wonder
If the shield good now
What it's no good now because he's now everyone think it was a good idea when he was a faithful
But right would be a waste. It would be a waste about to vote him out anyway. Yeah, it might as well use that suspicion
But yeah, I think Kate's I think Kate is the right choice and it's definitely my favorite choice because I'm so excited to see the two of them hatched plans.
And I really hope that they have some timed hatch plans.
I hope we have a few episodes of The Faithful
doing the wrong thing so we can just really live
in like a pheasdra Kate space for a bit.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, I thought Trishelle would be a good choice,
but I think she wouldn't do it.
I think she's one of those things.
I'm a good person, so.
True, but she's really afraid of being murdered. So I don't think she would one of those. She would. I'm a good person, so. True, but she also, she's really afraid of being murdered.
So I don't think she would want to be murdered.
She would take it just to not be murdered.
Yeah, I don't know.
Okay, well, everybody, good times.
This was super fun.
And we will be back a little bit late.
This week, our bonus episode is the season finale
of Southern Hospitality, which just ended last week.
So we'll get to that at some point this week.
Also, we have crappy hour later tonight,
every other Monday at 5.30 Pacific.
Go get your tickets for our Netflix
is a joke comedy festival in May
and also our European tour in May.
Go get all that at watchwitcrapins.com.
And if you wanna watch the Golden Crappies,
it's available for two weeks. The ticket links are over at watchwWhatCrapins.com and if you want to watch the Golden Crappies, it's available for two weeks.
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Bye.
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