Watch What Crappens - #2337 RHOP and Below Deck: Wet and Wild

Episode Date: February 27, 2024

A trip to the Dominican Republic on The Real Housewives of Potomac (S08E14) sees the ladies playing more sassy games than ever before.  Ashley winds up singing, Karen gives us TMI, and Mia gets caught up in another ridiculous lie.  Meanwhile, over on Below Deck (S11E04), (around 42:00 minute mark) Fraser and Barbie continue to clash, Jared gets wasted, and Cat learns that forks go on the left, knives on the right. Grab tickets for the Netflix is a Joke Fest in LA and our European tour at watchwhatcrappens.com Watch this recap as a video and get our bonus episodes on Patreon:  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously, but hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crappins, the podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the absolutely glorious and wonderful and beautifully voiced Ronnie Karen.

Hi Ronnie, how are you? Well aren't you sweet and happy? What's all true? It is all true. All you have to do is go onto our Instagram and watch me singing. I'm just Oh God So good in my head all weekend Lordy. So good. You're so good. I sure love you. So funny Thank you. So that was from the crappies you can if you want to watch the crappies

It's still available via moment the replay for I think through Saturday night I think I think it just goes down at like midnight on Sunday. So go check that out, it was super fun, it was probably our best crappies we've had yet. We had a great, great time and it was also our fanciest streaming, so go check that out. Also in May, we're doing Netflix as a joke

at the Cougarborough Lounge. That's gonna be early May, I think May 3rd is that night in Hollywood, so that's gonna be awesome, so cool to be part of Netflix as a joke. And then later in May, I think May 3rd is that night in Hollywood. So that's going to be awesome. So cool to be part of Netflix as a joke. And then later in May, we are going to be doing London and then Dublin and then Birmingham and those are in Europe. And so go for, we've been wanting to do a European show for years and now we're finally doing it. So it's super exciting. Can't wait. All the tickets for all that stuff is at watchable crappens comm same for the streaming watchable crappens comm also

Don't forget our patreon where you can watch us not just listen to us. I'm wearing a stunning hoodie today It's really beautiful. So come join us and watch a patreon comm slash watch what? Crappens so that's all the fun stuff. That's all the great fun stuff. And so today, we have decided to go back to Potomac because it's been a few weeks. We we've always loved Potomac. It's one of the very best franchises on Bravo. It's had a struggle of a season to put it lately. It's been, it's been terrible. Let's be honest. So we kind of put it on the back burner and we've been focusing on other shows, but it's like, you know what, we should throw some love because, you know what, there's still so much about this show that we love, so we decided to recap it today.

What a mistake, what a mistake, oh my goodness. Well, when you mentioned it, I was like, oh, Ben must have seen like a preview that's like a really good week or something. Because, you know, sometimes shows, it takes the first half of the season for them to, I don't know, you know, we've been watching Bravo for years. Usually, if there's a bad season, it'll start bad and it can get good, you know, or it'll start really good and then it can get really bad, you know. So, you never really know. I thought, oh my god, maybe they really amped it up. And they added Kiana in there. And I know that I, well, I don't know. I think that she's one of the ones who gets in a fight in the season finale. Are they going to actually televised that? That big fight that was all over social media?

I don't know. But I think they said it was the new girl. So I guess that would be her. So I don't, well, I guess Neco's new as well, but I don't know if it's her or not, but I thought, okay, maybe it's going to get spicier this week with the new girl being here, whatever. So I was like, oh my God, something's going to happen on Potomac. So I sat down, I was so excited. I was like sitting there with my little note taker thing and I was

like ready to do it. And when we got to like the fifth scene about talking about how they like getting up their blow holes, I was like ready to do it. And when we got to like the fifth scene about talking about how they like getting up their blow holes, I was like, you know, we've already done this this season. We don't really need to talk about Karen's asshole again. Like how many episodes are we gonna talk about liking? Like loving anal, I can't.

Yeah, this was- I can't, so sorry. Sorry it's gonna be an episode filled with complaining but they started it. They started it and you know what? I am gonna yuck on this yuck because they're yucking on my yuck with this. This is ridiculous. I feel like really, like almost everyone working behind the scenes on this show

should be fired at this point. This has gone so far wrong. Bring, bring a new production, production company in here. This is a disaster. What's happened on this show? This is too good of a cast to be like flailing like this. It was awful. I thought honestly the last episode

when they embarked on the vacation, I was chuckling. And I was like, you know what, maybe the show, maybe they just need to get on vacation a little bit. I'll be with each other. Nope, this was, they spent nine minutes of airtime with a commercial break in it, doing that game later in the episode. That's nine minutes of airtime with a commercial break in it doing that game later in the ups. That's nine minutes of airtime.

You don't, that's a long amount of airtime. That's how little they have to go on. Maybe there's more that they have to go on, but maybe production has just decided that this is what we want to see. It is a disaster. Yeah. Anyway. Okay.

So let's, let's put that aside and get her going So here we are we're on the trip to the DR, which is actually where this show needs to go So I hope there is one There is a doctor that can fix this show so we go there and Giselle has decided to give Nneka the new crown for Grand Dom of Potomac, because Karen shaded her zip code or whatever. And Candice has decided that now is the time to make a stand. And she's like, I will not participate

in such a horrible game. So she goes to her room and, you know, granted, it's not, she's basically speaking for the audience. So she leaves and they're like, oh my God, Britt Candice, go. And Neckar's like, I just wanna thank everyone here for acknowledging my zip code. As you know, I purchased my home

and spent a lot of money unlike some others here. And I just wanna thank you all for seeing and believing in me. And then she tells us, this title is definitely above my years and beyond my years. Grandom is someone who is more elderly But I think Giselle comes from a place of concern. So I feel like I'm here to do the people's work and um, you know As jesus said, I'm here to serve and I am here. Jesus said to serve and I'm here to serve

So Karen's like well, it's lonely at the top That's what I'd like to say to this group And I'm glad that you are the Grandom of 208 54 okay and She's like a regular grand arm taken regular grand arm taken, but you can be grand arm of 208 54 So Karen's like well, it's not shade against you, but it's shade against Giselle. All right, because now with a 20854 random, and she goes, but she does live in Potomac. So I don't know what you think you're, I don't know why you're highlighting the zip code.

She lives in Potomac, and she goes, but Giselle, you don't, you live in Bethesda, Giselle. All right. How can you crown someone if you're in Bethesda? How can you, if you live in Bethesda, how can you crown someone butchemic? It just doesn't seem to even make sense. Like she's acting like it's like the rules for running for president.

Like you weren't born in America. You are ineligible to be president of the United States. Your fake title needs to be from a real place. I know. So, uh, Giselle's like, uh, the best is when Karen acts like she's not mad, but she can't help but being mad. Her lips are piercing, which I don't think she meant that. Purseing probably, but I get it.

But it's still funny because it is Karen and her lips do purse to the point of being piercing. Yes. Very like. It's like little girls lining up to get their free clears piercing just from Karen's annoyed lips. Yes. That nose gets extra extra twitchy looking. And the wig starts to squeeze down on our head. So Karen is, she is right.

I mean, Karen is furious, but she's trying to be like the bigger woman. So she's like, you know what? God is good. Are we ready? Let's go. Let's go. And so she locks arms with Nekka.

And she's like, just has no power to crown shit. You know, wearing party city crowns out in public. This is no crowning, this is a clowning, huh? And then she pulls out a clown mask out of nowhere and she's like, this looks like Giselle, doesn't it? Huh? Karen loves the prop. I like that Karen's just so dedicated to her prop humor.

So then she's like, well, behind me peasant, kiss my ring, Neker is a good sport. Moving to the outskirts of Potomac Blessing. The emphasis on outskirts, outskirts is barely in it, barely in the 20854. So now they have a wacky segment of driving around in golf carts to go to the restaurant. Oh no, not to the restaurant.

First they actually go to play golf. Okay? Yeah. And it's nighttime golf, where they've got big, lit things in the middle that you have to hit. And then if you hit them, then they turn colors or something. I don't know. I was shocked that the producers refrained from turning this

into a 10-minute segment where they put goofy graphics on the screen and tried to make it look like an Olds to Com or something like that. I was like, God given what this season has been like this feels like this is like a producer's wet dream Wait, they're doing a totally average activity. We can judge this up with a bunch of silly music and fonts on screen Well, they have a little discussion about Giselle's fake relationship for the season because she's always got one. And this year, it's still with Jason, who is quite clearly not into Giselle, and she's quite clearly not really into him either.

I'm not really sure why they're choosing to fake this relationship. I don't think anyone's buying it. She's said, I'll watch what happens, And she said on this show that it's open. They can do whatever they want, which is good because there are pictures that this little blonde girl is posting all over the place saying that she's Jason's real girlfriend. Wow. And that his relationship is fake. And she's been with him for a long time now, like a year. And so Giselle, sorry about your fake relationship as exposed. Well, I'm sorry to you, you little blonde twit,

but he's faking it to you too. He was hitting on my friend at BravoCon pretty heavily. Wow. Oh, that's hot. Yeah, I think Jason's just gonna go for it. He's a model. He's a model, never forget. He's a model.

He's a model with five minutes of fame under his belt and he's going to get as late as he can be. And winter house is now quote unquote on pause. So, uh, yeah, the, the timer we're at 1445 right now. So he's going to go for it. Um, so, uh, Giselle is she just, I don't know, it's, she's just talking about the parameters that they have on their relationship And so then Karen Karen set pulls

Candice the side and she's like no I don't like it when women talk in a group and everyone's goes into hyena mode You know especially if you live on the outskirts of Potomac Anyway, I noticed you walked away when we were playing that crowning people game today with the person who was crowned illegally by someone who did not follow the bylaws of a fake crowning. And Candice was like, yeah, because it was dumb. And she's like, well, you know, Zazelle, she has nothing. That's why she has to take jabs. Poor poor Zazelle.

True. Unfortunately, jabs don't keep up an extremely old roof on a very cheap house in Bethesda. Unfortunately, so it'll probably fall on the head soon. Someone, one of these days we'll have to tell Giselle that jabs just aren't effective when they're launched from Bethesda, but we let her think they are. We do, we do. It doesn't bother me because titles are there for people who need titles. I don't need the title. Titles don't make you fences.

You are born a fence. I don't need the title. Titles don't make you fences. You are born a fence. I am a fence. Now it doesn't bother me. Titles are there for people that need them, but and I never needed one. I just have to have one that I defend ferociously. And honestly, no titles don't make you. And Candice is like, yeah, well, here's the title, raggedy petty bitch. And Care's like, oh, hold on. Here's the segment where the fence starts to make sound effects. Hold on.

Oh, nope. Oh, what? It's an audio fence. Do you have the salmon bidor sound effects keychain that you're pressing buttons on? Oh, oh, yeah. Do I like the fence? No, no. David, David,

the offense, David, the offense. So now I'm more golfing and the new girl is like, I was prepared to be fabulous, but then I got sick. And I was hoping that went to your dentist or someone would like come check on me, but then they didn't check on me. I was like, oh God. So now that's your big, now that's your story line. We're not doing a diarrhea wellness check storyline.

We're not doing this. Your fake friends didn't come check on your diary. Wow. No, sorry, sorry. By the way, also, I've had, I think we've all had friends who've had diarrhea. It happens. And I don't think that there's any obligation

to go above and beyond. Like, are you okay? Is your diarrhea okay? I mean, you can be like, are you okay? But I think a lot of people, when they're going through it. How's your boat leaking? Yeah, you know what you really don't want. I think they're your real friend

because they're not showing up at your door while you're doing whatever you're doing in there with camera crews knocking and trying to come in to catch you in the act of because you know this is bravo. Real Housewives of Orange County speaking of did just give a woman an enema on camera so that was their fun and games so don't think it can't happen to you be grateful be grateful for Wendy and Candice. Yeah, I mean, I don't really anticipate Giselle or I should say like, can't actually, I do know what, I take it back.

This could have been like a big break moment for Candice. Candice could have gone into Curena's room and gotten herself an endorsement. If she just went in there and was like, nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea. Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea. Peptapencal. So this is what she's going to pin her hopes on for a storyline is being mad at these two.

So let's see how that turns out for her. So now they go to dinner. God, speaking of Real Housewives of Orange County, again, they go to a dinner at a place called La Casita. So what do you think about that? It's where Gina lives. So they go over there and Giselle is like, well, everybody, Karen, I wanted to thank you for the advice you gave me the other night because Grace has graduated. The Grace graduating storyline continues.

So she's just going on. We have not graduated from the storyline. We have not graduated from having to hear about the storyline. We will hear about it now for years. For two more weeks at least. Weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks. So Candice, so she's just going on about to Karen's advice because Karen said, don't make it about you.

You fathes the sluts. And Giselle was like, I didn't make it about me. I just let Grace have her moment, blah, blah, blah. She's going on, talking about, talking about Grace. And can't, they just keep on cutting to Candice and Wendy, just looking bored like the rest of us are and looking back and forth at each other, sort of snickering. And I was like, I feel like the producers

are trying to get me to be like, wow, look at them. But I'm like, I don't really care that they're rolling their eyes on board right now. Yeah, it's boring. You know, I was giving the same look. I was like, am I in trouble? What I do. I faced Hanrani. I went like this to him and went, and then I hung up.

We just sent pictures to each other going like, so then me is like, um, well, I know you're excited and I'm out great, it's going to come down. But you have concern about her going to school in Florida and just I was like, well, I mean, yeah, it's another country, the way the government is acting a fool. And then there's a big long pause and dramatic music and then silence and like a boom.

Yes. What, what in the world is going on? I wrote down music as 10%. I was like, what? What in the world is going on? I wrote down music as tense for some reason. I was like, why is there tension? Yeah, it started getting, which we find out later, you know, obviously there was a reason, but I was like, why are they really trying this hard to make drama? They're like, Florida, we've said the state, Florida.

Dun dun dun dun dun. And it just like Candice and Wendy shooting each other more looks. I was like, why is this music tense right now? Is she just talking about her daughter? It's actually, you know, at least she's talking about something real that's happening in her life. And so then we hear Robin.

She tells us, oh, Candice and Wendy are making faces and rolling eyes and like, I get it. You don't like Giselle, but we're talking about her daughter. I was like, oh, okay. So Rob is going to push some bullshit with these two now. Be like, why are you guys rolling your eyes during we're talking about the daughter? And that is exactly what happens for the rest of the episode.

I'm like, really? Yeah, so Wendy's like, okay, well, I will say this. I just think from my lens, it's not the best state right now, Florida, what black women and men are being killed without cause and they're justifying it with stand my ground. I wouldn't send my boys there and just, uh, which I mean, you know, was there a terrible point?

Not really, but are you also going to tell her kids she can't go to college? I don't, I don't know. It seemed like an odd, listen, I wouldn't be like, well, I wouldn't, but also is coming from a person from a disaster state myself. I mean, I am currently in Texas. This conversation, look, here's how I respond to my friends when they're like that.

I say, yes, it is kind of embarrassing to be in Texas when they're passing all these draconian laws And it is disgusting But they're allowed to do that because Texas is a part of America Which you're also a part of and the reason that they're able to do that is because we've let America go so fucking far that would these people That the Supreme Court has overturned shit that this shit is allowed to happen So let's let's like look around at each other. Okay. Here. This isn't us problem. Yeah. Yeah. But if everyone vote. So Giselle is, um, I know what you're trying

to say though, Ronnie, which is kind of like, you know, this is, I understand your concerns, but maybe it's too late now. So what do you want me to do about it? Like, let me just be happy for my daughter. Um, so yeah, I mean, like it does, I'm not, and I'm not trying to minimize what's going on just that sometimes to make changes. You have to actually be in the place that needs the change made. If that makes any sense. Like I'm here. Yes. Some, some of these people are a nightmare to me, but trust me, I'm a much bigger nightmare to them because I'm a blue person that voted to a

red state. So have fun with me, fuckers. That's right, that's right. That's how it, you know. So Giselle is like, Giselle basically like, I think my baby girl will be okay. This was the scene for me to evoke sympathy, not for you to evoke sympathy.

So Karen saying that she's proud of Grace, but that's scary. And Giselle saying that she's, it was important for Grace to go to an HBCU. And then Giselle's like, and by the way, Wendy, while you're trying to make me feel bad that my daughter is going to Florida, she has encountered plenty of racism in Maryland too. So think about that. So anyway, it's actually a pretty interesting conversation. It's just, you know, I just didn't understand why Bravo was playing such tense music and trying to make it into a drama situation.

I'm like, well, it's weird because it's Housewives. So it's like a real conversation that's going on in the country, you know, and obviously with black people, it's much more serious than two, two white guys sitting here like, oh, pining on it. So I'm going to do everyone a favor and not do that. But, um, it's just housewives. So it's like, it's a real conversation, but it's brought up in this, you know, like bitchy housewives way, which is like, well, I wouldn't send my child there.

And it's like, wait, why aren't we fighting about this? Like this, like this is a real serious thing. Right. And music is like, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. So Karen's like, well, Nica, like this. Like this is a real serious thing. Right. And he's like, dun, dun, dun, dun. So Karen's like, well, nigga, what you'll find out is that everyone wants to see us win within this group. And so I'm glad it's happening. Some of us have won one better things like being able to actually live in

Potomac and not Bethesda. But anyway, um, we have a lot to be thankful for. And in that same being, I think that we should be able to call out when we fall short of living in Patonik. And just I was like, yes, but in the same vein, we should be able to call each other out when we fall short, like at Neckis house, when you told Mia that she was screwing a rapper and messing around. And we're back. Yes.

And Mia's like, she did say that out of a hat. I mean, sorry, did I just wrap? I want to frat. I can't stop. I can't stop. Karen's a flop. Oh, God. Oh, Mia's freestyle.

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Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Black is beautiful. So Giselle's like, it's like, you know, in years past, if I had said that, you would be going on a rampage of Giselle's trying to destroy families. I mean, it's like, yeah, and the difference is that I am doing this. So Karen says, well, you all have come after my marriage time and time again, and I'm done turning the other fence because you guys are so fucking disrespectful at times, my marriage unto me. And Mia and I, Mia and I brought you into this group, Mia.

I was a big sister fence, bringing a little fence. And this is the way you treat me. Giselle's so gross for this, by the way. I mean, I know that it's an argument we've heard nine million times, and they're just trying to do whatever they can at this point But Giselle they were coming at you for trying to ruin marriages because you were basically You were using sexual assault language to accuse someone's husband of trying to do something to you in a hotel room

Which was crazy. That's not really the same thing as Making a comment like I heard you were cheating on your husband Especially since you guys made the past how many seasons about Karen fucking around on her husband and acting like, oh, now that Karen does it, it's like the worst thing you've ever. Please. Yeah. Please. Go find your Jason. So Mia's like, well, so why are you being disrespectful to my marriage, Karen? If you don't want me to be disrespectful to yours. She's like, well, I wasn't being disrespectful. Why are you saying I was scoring a rapper?

Yes, but I brought it in front of you. I brought it to you to your face. That's what I heard about you. Mind you, you always talk behind my back. And then we see a clip of Mia saying everything she had to say, right to Karen's face and the Chiron says, Mia talking to Karen's face. But also Mia can't act that offended either cause Mia's basically copying the fucking the rapper

and kind of bragging about it at the same time. So this is Mia's favorite thing. She's like to have her shit be aired out at the dinner table and it's like, did you sleep with a rapper? What, me? She loves this. Yeah.

So Karen, so Mia's like, well, you know, whatever Karen, you're still trying to ruin my marriage. And Karen's like, well, am I not human? Do I not bleed? And she's like, well, I don't know what that has to do with anything, but I know that you're human. And that's why I haven't shared the whole truth about your story.

Well, you don't know my true story. And I don't know yours. And she's like well you want to try it. Me I don't threaten me when you keep trying it. I have nothing to hide. Well I'll have your back so I'll keep it to myself. Fine I have nothing to hide so therefore let's move on to a different topic. And she's like oh if Karen wants to move on you know there's some truth to what's being said. Yeah. So I think at this point,

we kind of all know that Karen's fucking around, right? But Ray probably lets her. I mean, the first season started, wasn't it the first season or was it season two when Karen started her, I candy, right? Ray doesn't mind if I have a little I candy. Yeah. That was like, that was definitely like season one or two

and it's even still continuing. This, I mean, we hear about the personal trainer and everything. So, yeah, Ashley says. Something tells me that Mia knows some things and the reality is that there's still like a lot of that has been said and is like still being said in the streets.

Oh, Ashley, the streets have been talking forever, but unfortunately, you can't understand what they're saying because they've got your husband's dick shoved down their throats. Okay. Stop what the streets are talking. Talking about your husband, Ashley. So then Wendy's like, this girl's a liar. Who cares what she says?

I'm literally fucking a pothole as we speak. My dick is literally in the streets. You never know when the construction workers gonna happen to pass on by there. So, um, Kieran is like, well, on another note, Giselle, thank you so much for coming to check up on me cause I wasn't very sick and none of my friends checked up on me. Really?

Now's the time you're going to bring up your diarrhea fight. Oh, really? And Candace goes, well, I'm sorry you felt abandoned on this cash trip that you're not even a part of that we invited you of. I never would have abandoned you. And then when he goes, I got you ginger ale. She goes, you did, you did.

And I'm feeling much better. Thank you. I'm like, wait, she got you ginger ale. No, you're nullified. This is null and void argument So you're a perfect cast member you're gonna try and start a fight for someone not supporting you when they literally supported you Yeah, okay, I can't so then they go home. Okay, so now, you know, they tried they tried we have to give the credit They were trying didn't work

But they were trying so then they get home and you think oh my god Something's about to happen because they're playing that music like now It's time for late-night shenanigans on real house was a Potomac vacation where things get messy So they walk in and just I was like that table is messy. Who's gonna clean that? Okay. Good night And then we see them washing their faces. We're like, okay Yeah, well maybe they're just gonna wash their faces and now Robin's gonna go get messy because it's late night in prayer oh it can't really wash your face for ten minutes can't put on her bonnet now she's not she's gonna read someone for filth no no she's

actually not oh there's someone taking up their makeup Kierna looks like she looks like going back to that bathroom oh she's gonna be so mad when she comes out nope nope nope nope just five minutes to watch people settle in for the night. Okay, so the next morning, normal morning things, Candice calls Chris. Mia and Giselle start gossiping about Karen last night with Nneka and Giselle saying, well, she doesn't like you coming for her

because she supposedly brought you around. And Mia's like, oh, she doesn't like you coming for her because she supposedly brought you around. And Mia's like, oh, so now I have to be your slave just because she brought me around. So Mia's like, I'm gonna try being upset now because it's breakfast. Let's try this again. Yeah. Which, you know, credit for making an effort.

Right. So, I mean, I do actually give credit for making an effort. I really do feel like one of the biggest issues has been production more than the cast, but the cast has issues. The cast has fundamental issues because half of them don't talk to each other. So, Karen and Gisela are eating at breakfast and Karen's like, you know, I'm still celebrating the Triple L20. And then Mia comes in and says, Queen and Karen, I'm here to serve you, my master, since you brought me to this group and I have to serve you.

Is there anything I have to bring you? Let me bow down and run up you. Yeah. And so Karen's like, oh God, like whatever. We already talked about this, I'm exhausted. And so Mia's like, well, I'm in a great place too, Karen. So that one's over. And Karen's like, no, I'm talked about this. I'm exhausted. And so me is like, well, I'm in a great place too, Karen. So that one's over. Karen's like, no, I'm not doing this.

So Giselle is like, well, after last night, I'm not gonna talk to Candace or Wendy because they made faces. Well, I talked about Grace's graduation. So Robin really said something to Giselle. She was clearly like, did you see the way they were making faces while you were telling your story? Because Giselle did not see those Giselle was so wrapped up in her own story that she did not see Candice and Wendy

She would have said something Giselle would have would have made a remark She said nothing. It is Robin who definitely told Giselle and now Robin has gotten Giselle worked up So now they have a big game day Um and there's buzzers on the table. I just wrote, oh no. So Robin is in charge. So it's we're gonna have freaky-dinky questions about sex again. So the game is called Answer the Damned Question,

which is a game that I would love to see Juan play. So, but this is the sex edition and the game started at 22 minutes into the episode, I should say 22 minutes of the airtime and it just goes and it goes and it goes and it goes. Yeah, so I'm gonna fast forward through this. Please. Because literally nothing happened. This is just Robin coming up with the game trying to convince everybody that Juan Fox are, which nobody is buying.

Do you like a hard and fast or slow and sensual? If you don't think it's bull, then think comes up on screen that says bull. And there's this and there's that and goofy graphics and lots of laughter and silly music and wow. We're talking about sex. God, we're having such a fun time. This is a great time. Isn't it hanging out with the Potomac ladies? Yeah. So, um, Canvas asked the question. She's like, Robin, what is the fetish your partners asked you to do? And she's like, pretending he goes to hotels, uh, to help homeless people who

lost their credit card. Uh, but actually one would really like to watch me with somebody else. And I mean, that answers says a lot. And then they asked, they asked me about from FaceTime, where he doesn't actually have to be there. Just please go with somebody else, please. I think he doesn't, I don't think he means fucking somebody else. I think he means driving away with. Yeah, because I don't think Juan wants to watch Robin any longer than he has to. So just go in that room, I'll be out here watching TV. So they asked me about the rapper,

like, sorry, what's the name of the rapper you had sex with and when? I mean, it's like, I'm feeling you, shh. And Wendy's like, oh, so you had sex with a rapper while you were married to Gordon. Gordon gave you permission. She goes, I wasn't married, they were dating. Yeah, weird.

And so she's like, well, they're saying, well, I thought you're dishonest. So why aren't you dishonest about it? Cause obviously she's kind of half bragging that she's fucking a rapper, you know, which is so Mia. Right. She wants to keep a secret, but she also can't stop herself from bragging

that she's fucking a rapper. So Candice is like, why are you so quarry? quarry and she says well because they incriminate somebody else who doesn't want to be affiliate listen Any rapper that's fucking a real housewife wants to be affiliated. Yeah, okay, just Let's be honest say it or don't so then Someone asked Karen Karen how many sexual partners have you had? So she goes, huh? So now she started to count and then she realizes it looks really bad that you're thinking about counting.

So then she has to pivot and she goes, hmm, is it wet dreams too? About about 40 wet dreams that counts. And I'm like, what is like cow and you're not a boy. You don't you can't have wet dreams. Hmm. You don't know me, Wendy. I have had many wet dreams, many, many. So, uh, you might need some depends because I think you're maybe

peeping on your side. She's like, oh, I get a rouse several times per day. I have many wet dreams per day. You're just peeing, actually. So then the producer asked Nekka to play Fuck Mary Kill and she's like, Well, I would fuck one and I would kill, well, I'm not a sinner. I guess I wouldn't kill anybody. But if I had to save a hoe, I would save any, I guess, and give him his freedom.

Did that make any sense? She is kind of cracking, Nekka. I have to give Wendy credit on that one. She does get a little bit like, oh wow, I don't know. Who would I kill? You know what? Okay, I'm gonna save a hoe. What was that?

Fuck marry or kill, concentrate on the game. It's easy. Anyway, this went on for eternity. Like, well, it's hard to really underline how long this segment went on. Like this was, like I was embarrassed for the production company. I was embarrassed for everyone involved. I was embarrassed for Bravo.

Like, come on. This is, this is not, this is not what we come to watch. This is too, this is too long. Do it for like a minute, but like this was ridiculous. I'm sorry. So finally. So they had to go on and on about how it's impossible to have wet dreams. Okay.

So then later, now they go to the house to change for the beach and Ashley calls the nanny. And, um, then they go to the beach and, um, someone's talking about Heather vagina is hairless. Just great. And so then, uh, someone starts talking about their Gucci sweat. And that's fun. And then, um, they go to lunch.

So Robin's like, okay, well, I hope everyone's enjoying yourselves on this trip. I mean, if it's not the low key moment you wanted then just go home. I don't care. Okay, you're doing a great job hosting. Yeah. So,

so they're just like at this restaurant and Necca's like, so, you know, this is a great sisterhood moment. You know, you had us playing games and we had, we had like, we got to share, we had secrets and we're sharing life experiences and Ash is like, well, you guys, well, you guys asked me a lot of questions about my sex life and my answers were like, truthful as hell, but I feel like I can't talk

about those things without telling you what's like, really happening in my life. So I'm still legally married and I don't think it's fair that, you know, I tell you what's happening. That you're crickety, you know, but without saying what's in my marriage. Like, okay, Ash, just, okay, Ash, you tell us, tell us, tell us. No one's asking you to tell us what's going on. You want to get a microdark story.

We already all know this too. She's like, let me tell you about this deep thing. Have you're not telling anybody shit. You just want to announce that you have a song coming out. So just do it for fuck's sake. So then Mia is like, well, I mean, if you're still receiving help from Michael, I can see why you stay. And so Wendy is like, well, do you see, do you receive help from Gordon?

Is that where you stay with Gordon? And she's like, Gordon is broke as hell. You all know that. I mean, when I met him, he was even broke as hell. So now did I have more money than Gordon when we met sure I did But mine wasn't inheritance. I'm was like in inheritance Me is like not like mm-hmm for my rapper You know people are gonna think what they want regardless because I'm like young and beautiful and he's like an older guy

So we let people think what they want to think that's all I'm just gonna happen to bring up for the first time in four years That I had an inheritance even though my entire story So we let people think what they want to think that's all I'm just gonna happen to bring up for the first time in four years that I Had an inheritance even though my entire story you say that he bought you for $10,000 a night and she's like that's chump change Like okay, what there's a difference between cash and assets and you know did I okay at that time? Did I have more cash in the bank than he did apps a freaking Lut even though. Yeah, because he had been giving you $30,000 a week. Yeah. Mia, whose whole storyline is that she was broke and she was like raised in this tough childhood and poverty.

And now all of a sudden she. Receives an inheritance from someone somewhere and it was actually secretly the wealthier one in the duo. Okay, sure. Yeah. She's just such a weird liar. It's not even a fun lie. Like, what is he I mean, rooted in some truth. You know what I mean? Give us a fun. So then because just making shit up and then there yeah, because of the $10,000 thing when they're like, but you said you met him in the high roller thing and she goes, well, high rollers don't always have money. Like,

it's in the definition. Literally do. They're literally giving you $10,000 in cash. So. Kat, this is like, I don't know at all. Perhaps I'm just ignorant and I've been opened up to a new world of stripper heiresses, but my mind is boggled. I thought she was funny when she said that.

Okay, so then we go back to Ashley trying to get her point out because this somehow her announcing her new song gave way to Mia claiming to be an Eris so then Ashley turns it back to herself and she's like well Guys Michael doesn't give me money. Okay, but if he I knew that it's it makes me feel secure knowing that if I needed money for my children He would give me money. Ashley. He bought you a house. He's giving you money. You're not divorcing him because he's giving you money Why are you fake lying? Everybody knows. I mean Mike God just Don't be ashamed. You married Michael for fuck's sake. Like you gave shame up a long time ago just

Stop lying Like, you gave shame up a long time ago. Just stop lying. Candice is like, so have you started with your life coach? And she goes, mm, she's actually a confidence coach. I decided to shoot even lower. And she's helping me reclaim myself. And she's really, she's encouraged me to have a goal. Which is like, that's good to have a goal in life. That's good.

She's like, so one of my goals I told her was that, I want to get back into singing. And like, I was like a theater kid. She's like, so one of my goals I told her was that I wanna get back into singing. And like, I was like a theater kid and so like she encouraged me by my birthday and I had like a song written. So guess what guys, I have like a song. So. Socker, so they canvass hands her a knife.

She's like, I will not throw this knife at you today. I'm having it to you as a microphone, as support. So go ahead and sing. So Ashley stands up and she's like, okay, I'm gonna sing my song. I'm thriving, I'm not just surviving cause I'm healing and I'm thriving, healing and I'm thriving.

Oh for fuck's sake, go hug a fucking tree. And while we're at it, no one who's on TikTok as much as you needs a fucking confidence coach. Okay. Less confidence. I suggest less confidence, please. She, so her big song, first of all, she just steals the melody to rhythm as a dancer.

And then she has one lyric, which is healing and I'm thriving, no, not just surviving. So she goes, healing and I'm thriving, no, not just surviving, healing and I'm thriving. No, not just surviving. So she goes healing and I'm thriving. No, not just surviving healing and I'm thriving now. Yes, I'm healing and thriving. No, not just surviving. I'm like, rhythm is a dancer. It's so so the dancer. Like, okay. Great work. Great work. Yeah. So they applaud for her and the new girl's like,

yes Ashley for reclaiming her time. I would like my time reclaimed by the way from this show. So then Nneka is like, well, you know what, Ashley, you've been doing everything you sang about. You've been healing and thriving this whole time and just like poisoning relationships I have with Wendy. And Giselle's like, I've been there. A couple of us have been there

I'm getting divorces scary. You are raising your kids by yourself. You're changing your carburetor by yourself You are shuttling your kids off to a restaurant called Arizona's by yourself. It's hard So then they start They basically All we're all talking about like, oh my God, you're such a brave girl. So Wendy's like, let's talk about Karen's triple 20 and Karen's like, oh, well, thankfully I'm about to be 60

and fucking my trainer. And they're like, what? Just, I mean, working with my, I mean, squirting all over my, I mean, what dreams about my, oh, I just don't know. And they're Karen. Is he a rapper? What are you talking about? And she's like, well, I just don't know. And they're Karen. Is he a rapper? What are you talking about?

And she's like, well, I like his shape and now we can move on. Like, okay, so, I think this is the Wendy, like, I'm not dating a rapper just cause I'm a flapper. And when I get in the car, I put on my strapper. And I love watching CNN specifically, Jake Tapper. Okay, so now they're gonna go to a cabana on the beach and guess what, we can play games there.

They go to the beach and Rob is like, did you guys, okay, here's a fun fact everyone. Did you know that in the recent sports illustrated swimsuit shoot was shot right here? So I think we should all have our own photo shoot. Mia's like, yeah, I want photographer because I slept with one of those. Oops, didn't mean to say that.

Robb is like, no, we'll use our phones. So now they're gonna do a photo shoot, like a sports illiterate photo shoot. It's gonna be like wacky. So they're taking photos and they're putting up like fake magazine covers on screen and this goes on for several minutes. The rest of the episode pretty much.

So then they all sit around and now Robyn's going to try to start some shit. So she's like, Mia, did you notice when you asked about Grace at dinner, Wendy and Candice were like, making faces and smirking. And yeah, again, Robin again, trying to like push this thing. It's a fucked up shit. We're talking about our children. Talk about our children.

Isn't it terrible when people take stuff out on the children? Like remember when you had that family day and you refused to invite Wendy and then wanted someone else to bring their, her children so they could be publicly humiliated in front of the cast and all of your friends. That was super, that was super like protective mother of you, Robin, you fucking hypocrite.

So I was like, yes, I didn't want to continue with the conversation because I definitely saw the making faces and by definitely saw it Robin told me later that night and you're I'm talking about my daughters and you're gonna scrunch up your face So I get the fuck out of here So then Wendy walks over and it's like what are you guys talking about? And that's the cliffhanger Dun dun dun

I don't say this all that often, but team Wendy. Yeah, yeah, I mean, as much as this is a change situation. I reserve the right to make a stank face whenever I fucking want to, how about that? I have a right to actually be bored when people are talking about their kids because it happens really almost every single time. I hate to break it to you all.

Every single fun fact I have to tell you, I smile. I'm like, that's amazing, but on the inside, I'm like, it has no impact on me. Come on, shoes, here comes one right now. Let's move on to some Belodak, shall we? Yeah, so Belodak, we'll just sort of like do, just sort of talk about the highlights of the episode, basically where we had left off.

We have these three couples that are on the boat and two of them are getting their wedding bows renewed and one of them, one of them is getting married for the first time. And Frazier has just gone up to Captain Kerry because he's had it with Barbie. And he's like, I absolutely cannot work with this stupid little wencher attitude. It's absolutely vile and awful. I don't know if she can even stand this boat. Yeah, this was miscalculation on his part. This was extremely petty to go to the captain for this.

Too soon. I think he blew it on this big time. And the captain, also they're playing succession music, which I think is really funny. The fucking show. I thought that was pretty funny. Okay, so then the captain's like, well, so listen, you can't just say bang, bang,

they're gone, mate, all right? Or I mean, where's the adventure in that? All right, you gotta say bang, bang, then hard, then chase, then hard again, then chase. Then say, if you ever try to come in this tan again, it gets more wheel. So he's like, basically work it out. Is she gonna service?

Oh, he's like, is she gonna service? Yes. Can she clean things? Yes. Does she put away her dishes after she's done eating? Yes. All right, so you got the raw tools there. Look at Does she enjoy adventure? She does captain. All right, then get the fuck out of here and stop your bitching. Damn it

Damn her love of adventure getting her out of things again So that was kind of a fail and Frazier looked like kind of a dummy for that one. So then Barbie is just going off to anyone who will listen. She's like, my team hates me. What am I supposed to do? I mean, all the team fucking hates me. Like, what am I supposed to do? I grew up with a father that literally applauded me 24 seven.

Okay. So what am I supposed to do? Just not think of the shit, you know? And that's why I always tell parents, stop being such good parents. You know, you turn your children into delusional little monsters, just stop. Yeah, I like that Barbie does not have a moment of introspection of like, you know, I grew up with like, my dad said everything I did was great.

And maybe I'm realizing that like, I actually, you know, I have to like work harder because not everyone's gonna be like my dad. She's like, everyone, my dad says everything I did, it's great. So why would I be around people who think I'm not great? Doesn't make sense. Why am I even here?

Well, especially when your dad gave you everything and you brag about being kind of, you know, the spoiled rich girl, but he couldn't get you a job at Coca-Cola. Yeah. Wow. You know, it might be time to start questioning your father. Okay. So what else is happening? Jared has an interesting episode.

So Jared does this thing where he is... First of all, Barbie likes him inexplicably. I'm not really sure what's going on there. Because nothing Jared has said is attractive. Nothing. Jared's like, well, I think 10 meters is 90 miles. And I have a kid that I've never seen. I don't want to be a deadbeat dad, but it looks like it's kind of going that way.

And I don't really know how to tie my shoes, much less drop and anchor properly. So I'm not. She's like, that's hot. I'm going to marry him. Yeah. It comes out of nowhere because Ben basically, you know, because Ben's such a gossip. He goes up. He's like, so who do you like? And she's like Jared. He's like, what? He's like, she's like, yeah, I know it. I like people for their souls. You know all my ex-boyfriends. This is gonna sound mean

They're all ugly because I like people's souls Or you probably have daddy issues. Let's be honest But so she likes Jared Soul, which still doesn't answer the question of, but why? What have you seen? Have we seen Jared Soul? What about his soul? You know, I think a lot of people,

I think a lot of people fall into that trap where they're like, just because someone's ugly, they're a better person, you know? Like we've all had that friend or maybe been that person who's like, you know, I'm sick of being treated like crap. I'm gonna give an ugly guy a chance, you know, the ugly guy is more fucked up than the hot guy because he's got all these other insecurities he's dealing with for always being ugly.

And if he's hot enough to get you, he thinks, well, who else am I hot enough to get? And then I'll start fucking half the town because you've given them, them the confidence, you know? So you got to be careful out there. So then Ben goes, of course, and gosses back to Kyle the Scottish guy and he's like yeah I just went went straight to the horse's mouth except he says it strangely He's like so I went to a horse and I asked the horse what she thought what the horse thought about you and so He basically tells Kyle yeah, she's into Jared and they both like what because like I'm not gonna give up just yet So he's still gonna pursue Barbie really hard

because it's like a challenge for him. Yeah. Okay, so then Barbie calls her mom to bitch. And she's like, Frasier has no respect for me, mom. Like, I mean, my boss is making me look like an asshole. He just attacks me and attacks me and attacks me and attacks me and attacks me. I mean, it's ridiculous.

And you know, the mom hears this every time Barbie comes home from a fucking Starbucks. The mom's just like, Barbie, don't stab him. Don't threaten him with lawsuits, don't use car, Barbie. She's like, just stick it out. You can do it, stick it out. She like hangs up. She's like, we got a problem.

I think Barbie's coming home. Oh, come on, it wasn't even a week. God, it was so tranquil here. And then the love of her life, Jared passes by and he's carrying two tables for the picnic and he's carrying them upside down by the base and then bangs the two metal bases together and he's like, oh, wow, dong.

That was loud. That was crazy. Wow. That was loud and crazy. So there's the ceremony and this is Captain Kerry's favorite thing because he gets to be the funny, the funny like, I was gonna say the funny priest, but the funny officiates is like, oh, everyone. Oh, do you take your lives?

Take these ladies to be alive. Now kiss whichever life you want. So Australian way to know. You have a life you want. Yeah. So Australian way to nail. So, um, Sonny's still really mad at Ben because Ben said that she was out there without her life jacket on the radio in front of the captain. So she's still pissed off at him.

And, um, he's like, you know, I'm really mad that you did that. I don't like that you called me out from the captain. He's like, well, that was when a radio, you know, I'm really mad that you did that. I don't like that you called me out from the captain. He's like, well, that was when a radio, you know, like something comes on like that. And basically it's bad that he didn't tell you that. So I was basically tattle-telling on him for not tattle-telling on you, which makes him a bad boss and has nothing to do with you. No, you're just a piece of shit. And I'm glad that she called you out.

And I'm glad that she followed it out with, okay, well, maybe that's why I had an attitude. This guy's a dick, airman asshole. Thank God they're so close to each other. Yeah, as she says, so if I was like a little cold or whatever, that's why. He goes, yeah, you had like a fucking attitude. I was like, excuse you, sir.

You're supposed to say, yeah, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean, I didn't mean to accidentally throw you under the bus, not to be like, yeah, you were a fucking attitude. I was like, excuse you, sir. You're supposed to say, yeah, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to accidentally throw you under the bus. Not to be like, yeah, you were a fucking bitch. What a dick this guy is. Yeah, so then let's see here. These guys, these classy guys, they're just like, yeah, we're gonna get married. They're all just like kind of gross and trashy.

One couple is just making a joke about everything they don't even want to. I think they were just like, yeah, we're gonna get married. They're all just like kind of gross and trashy. One couple is just making a joke about everything they don't even want to. I think they were just like, hey guys, sometimes we have couples like, get married on the show. They're like, all right, we'll do it if you want us to. He wears his nicest Guy Fieri glasses to the waterfall. Yeah, they really dressed up. And it's really one of the sloppiest, grossest weddings

I've seen in a long time. And I've been to a lot of sloppy weddings. It was barely even a rehearsal but it was actually it was somehow not only a real wedding but actually what's her face from Canada what's her name is Sunny she was actually crying I was like you're this you're crying at this this is making you this is what's making you emotional right now and then somewhere in here Anthony the chef tells his story about being married. And he's like, yes, well, you know, I actually was married at one point.

And, you know, we were married. And she, my uncle said that he had the position for her as chief stew on the boat. So she went on the boat and then I wasn't hearing for her anyway anymore. And then, yeah, so my uncle stole my wife. And it was pretty shitty. So his uncle was a captain.

And she ghosted him to go off with the captain. How can you ghost someone after you're married? She just stopped calling her husband back and ended up with the uncle. Yeah. That is crazy. Ghosting your husband? That was, and he just sort of tells the story like,

like, yeah, there was this one time, I used to have this really cool bicycle, but it broke. And so I don't have it anymore, but I love that bike. My uncle fucked it. But it's like, no, my uncle stole my wife. It was pretty shit. My uncle fucked my bike. Like literally fucked it. So then now Fraser is still being really petty with Barbie and he's like you're off of service tonight

I'm gonna train cat. She's like, okay. So at this point, he's just looking Really stupid and petty. It's a thing. Yeah. So she's like, I mean, this is affecting service, but whatever, right? So Then he tells cat that she's gonna get to do it. And she's like, oh my God, I'm so excited. So the chef is gonna join them tonight. This is also just an incredibly stupid move. You're gonna put Kat on her first night when the chef is gonna be having dinner during service.

Or Captain Kerry. So she, oh who did I say? He said the chef. This should be very interesting. He's like, aren't you supposed to be cooking? Yeah, but it's nothing important. So, uh, she's like, okay, yeah, I can do this. I can do this.

Okay. He's just remind me. How do the forks and knives go again? Folks on the left, knives on the right. It's okay. You could do this. You could do this. So she's messing up.

You know, she's reaching across. She's reaching across Captain Carrier to pour the wine. You could do this. You could do this. So she's messing up. You know, she's reaching across she's reaching across Captain Carrey to pour the wine. She drops a fork. One of the one of the guests, he has like a fork or something on his placemat for like several courses. So she's like a full disaster. Unsurprisingly. And then Jared has some Yankee Doodle flirting with Barbie. Yeah, it's really weird. I don't know how to quite to explain that, but he says something like Yankee Doodle. She's like, what? What do you mean? He goes, you know, because he wrote in on his pony.

She's like, so he's ugly and weird. Okay. I'm still hot though. So I'm still going to, I'm still going to get a storyline out of this. Get sold. And he's like, yeah, she's pretty hot. I'd marry her. So, uh, Captain Kerry is not impressed with the cat. So he's like,

eh, though she's hit really inexperienced, she should have been trained more. That's what I'm seeing right now. So, uh, so, so cat is not necessarily flourishing right now. So then, uh, but otherwise the dinner is like goes off really well. It all looks really good, by the way. The chef has definitely improved a lot, I think, because he also, by the way, the chef was able to make enough food for the entire crew this time. So that's been solved. Yes. And he also is very smart in how he handles challenges that they throw at people all the time on this show that stymie them. Like the wedding cake. Like, I have to make a wedding cake?

Wedding cakes are a whole industry. That's the whole thing you have to be trained to make a wedding cake. How am I supposed to layer cakes on top of another cake? And he's like, here's a lumpy one-tier cake with raspberries on top. There's your cake. So smart, you know? Because no one on the boat really expects a full-on wedding cake. At least these people didn't't know when you're getting married

Maybe he read Maybe here. Yeah, maybe he read the guy Fieri sunglasses and was like, okay, this will do we could do Duncan Hines We could do that That'll work for this group. So the next day I mean everything I think pretty much goes pretty nicely on this on this charter. They're easy guests. They leave. They leave a nice tip and everything.

Jared has an issue. He tries to call his daughter on his, I guess, like Nokia phone. What was that flip phone? What what what 2000 and what's what Ashley Simpson song was on the radio when that phone came out? I mean, that was was it a that was, was it a satellite phone? Was it a satellite phone? It looked like a little flip phone.

And what was funny is he's trying to call his daughter in Alaska and he's saying how he's on a strict schedule with her. And if he's worried that if he can't get through, it's going to look basically like he's not paying attention and the mom is going to cut off privileges. So he's like really going through it and he's upset and he's crying. And then it just cuts to like Zandi in bed, just like texting away on her phone. I was like, well, you get, get a better phone. Zandi's having no problem with service right now.

Yeah. I mean, I can see why whoever this lady is is frustrated with him because he tries one time and he's like, oh, I guess I lost my daughter. Like, no, you have a shitty phone on purpose, sir. He's like trying to make an effort with the T-Mobile sidekick from, you know, 2012. Get on the Wi-Fi, do a FaceTime audio call. You can do it.

Like, everyone else on this- You're not trying hard enough. Everyone else on this show is conflict texting. Like, half of the show is people in their rooms with text bubbles on screen, and you're like trying to get them on your flip phone. I think he's doing that guy thing, or he's like, oh, I'm so broken up.

Hey, everybody, I don't want to be a deadbeat dad. He's like trying to beat everybody to the punch of being called a deadbeat dad when they find out. But sir, if you were trying hard enough, your nipples would be hard because it would be freezing fucking cold because you'd be in Alaska on an oil rig. Okay, I don't want to hear it from you with your fucking sidekick.

You'd be quiet. Exactly, that's the truth right there. That is the truth. So he's like all agitated, which is the energy that he brings into dinner. So they all go out to dinner and Captain Kerry joins, which is surprising because usually the captain doesn't join until the end of the season,

but you know Captain Kerry just wants to be part of the fun, right? So he's getting wasted and he's getting really shalammered, as they say. So he's clearly like going through it. Jared. Yeah. Jared. Sorry, not Captain Kerry. Jared's like, oh my God, this show just got so good. Oh my God. Yes. Captain Kerry. Unseen footage. Captain Kerry getting wasted. Yeah. So it's getting awkward because he's obviously shit-faced and he gets up,

he's like, I don't even get a shot and he gets up and kind of kicks his chair and they're like, oh dude, what's wrong with him? And the captain's like, all right, I'm gonna depart, all right. My last words are be good or be damn good at it. Adventure. So, Jared's getting wasted. And then meanwhile, Lucky, no, I don't want to call her Lucky. Sunny and Ben are on the beach and they're still talking about that situation from earlier.

And she's like, I didn't like that. I didn't like what you were saying. And he's like, come on, I'm just being shaky. Hey, you know, it's Australian. I'm being cheeky. I'm being silly. I'm being charismatic. I'm like, I don't think you get to call yourself charismatic, sir.

That doesn't work. That was me. Me, the charisma machine bin. And sunny, you know, sunny is not really my favorite either, I have to say. In this example, I'm totally team sunny because I've been so gross and smarmy. But Sunny definitely gives me a not like the other girls kind of vibe. And then right now she's, we learn a little bit about her, which gives me some pity for her, which makes me like her.

I mean, I'm not like at full dislike. I'm just side-eyeing Sunny right now. But she's like, you know, my past relationships have been rebounds because I've been disrespected, I've been lied to, I've been humiliated, I've been intimidated. So yeah, I have a difficult time with men. Well, that's a lot.

Geez. So I felt kind of bad for her on this one and now I want her to beat up Ben. Well, I felt bad for her, except it was clear that by the end of this conversation, like everything was cool. And then she was like hugging on him again at the end. I was like, well, this is like, well, you know, like when people show you who they are,

believe them and that's like, Ben just showed you who he is. Why are you hugging on him again? Move on, move forward, find someone else. So whatever. So he's like, oh, I'm charismatic. That's me, Mr. Chaky. She's like, oh my god, I love you again. So then, um, Sonny is, uh, wait, basically, sorry. Oh, no, this is my favorite thing that they kept showing these anti-drinking clips. Did you get it this time? Yes, I saw them. Now that I pointed it out, I saw them.

There were like three of them where they, the music's like, and then it stops and you showing us that he's an alcoholic because he like got drunk at night too, but what are they showing us was Andy. I don't get it. I know, it's a long game. It's a marathon, not a sprint run. Something's gonna be revealed to us down the line. I hate marathons.

I know, me too, they're literally the worst. Celebrities calling and asking you for fucking money for fucking charities and shit. Charities and all that stuff, all the bicycle stuff. So Barbie meanwhile is watching Jared getting wasted. And she's like, ugh, this is such a turn off. I am so not into him. His soul is gross and drunk.

I'm not into him anymore. So now she starts smoking with Kyle. So it looks like they're setting up that Kyle's gonna win out after all. And then meanwhile, after dinner, they're all like partying. Guys win by being slightly less disgusting than the other option. And just having a Scottish Brogue. So it's like choosing dinner at the dinner theater, you know? Like which one is least likely to give me food poisoning? I will take the salmon. Thank you.

Exactly. So then they're partying and what's her face? Kat goes to the bathroom and she's like trying to call her friend but she's also having bad reception so she can't get through to her friend. So she like emerges from the bathroom and she's like weeping and faces like, what's wrong?

What kind of a here? What's wrong? She's like, I just feel like I don't have any friends and I'm just like connecting with anyone. I just like, normally I'm like best friends with everyone on the phone. I'm just like, no, and like people don't see my personality right now.

And he's like, darling, you poor, fragile, little blonde American. No, I love you. Anything you need, you fit right in. You are one of us. You are totally part of this crew. Okay, now you've gotten your pep talk, I'm gonna walk away now, bye.

Just remember that while I'm away from you, just pretend that I'm actually very close to you and hanging out with you right now, but I'm actually not hanging out with you. I'm being far away. She's like, I just hope I'm not bland. And he's like, don't really know what to say to that one. There's no getting out of that one.

You know what I mean? Can't unbring a bell, can we? She's like, well, but I'm just like, I'm just so insecure and like, I just don't feel like close to anyone, you know? And he's like, listen, you're beautiful. And we're like a family for like six weeks, almost like a foster family, all right? I'll be there for you temporarily.

She's like, wait a minute. All right, I'll be there for you temporarily. She's like, wait a minute. All right, glad I fixed that one. Look at me just plugging holes as I go. I'm such a great cheat student. And let me go talk to Bob and fix this up. She's like, I just feel like you have a lot of sass. Well, you have a lot of sass too. You absolutely vile to me the other day.

Well, I'm not gonna say yes or no, sir, yes or no, sir. But if you don't do what I say, you're going to be going home, you stupid little slut. Yeah. He's like, uh, if you do, if what did he say? If you think I'm shit, you can fuck off. And if you go against me, it's going to be shit. So bring it on and go home.

I was like, oh my God, this is my real housewife. Stop. You really solved that situation. You really deescalated this. You really solved that situation. You really de-escalated this. You really found a way. I really believed him when he came back and he's like, look at me, I've got it all under control now.

No. Well, now he's pivoted the other way. So now he is being boss bitch a little bit too boss bitchy now. So he just has to find the right middle ground of being stern, but also inspiring. It's called being a leader. I think he shouldn't get like so bitchy with the ladies on his team. It's weird. Yeah, I don't like it. I don't like when he's like, you listen to me girl, you've got problems with me. You can't, it's like a girl, you're not John Collins, you're somebody's boss on a boat. Hmm.

Yeah, weirdo, weirdo. I like it. But fun season so far, so we'll see. And like another season of Below Deck, it seems like anyone could be fired at any moment. Which I like, keeps you on your toes. Fun, fun, fun. Well, thanks everyone for listening. We'll be back with more recaps later this week.

We've got Beverly Hills, we've got Miami, and of course, Vanderpump Rules. So go to watchcrabbits.com, get your tickets to our shows, join our Patreon, do all the fun things, enrich your life, and we'll catch you on the next episode. Bye! Bye! Watch where Krapens would like to thank

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