Watch What Crappens - #2358 Summer House: Sober Shivving

Episode Date: March 15, 2024

Carl and Lindsay waste another of their friends’ weekends by making everyone listen to them roll around in their terrible relationship. Is Carl high? Is Lindsay drunk? Does anyone really care? Grab tickets for the Netflix is a Joke Fest in LA and our European tour at watchwhatcrappens.com Watch this recap as a video and get our bonus episodes at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Watch What Crappins! Oh hello and welcome to Watch What Crappins! The podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on Ye Olde Profs. I'm Ronnie that's been over there happy and- Hi Ronnie, how are you? Good. Welcome to your show at Summerhouse Day.

I cannot wait to throw some alcoholic and drug addiction accusations around. We didn't get to doing that enough this week with Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I guess they're not doing that quite yet on Vanderpump rules, but it is a lot of, is this really sobriety? And it's just a lot. I feel like my sobriety is constantly being questioned

by Bravo these days. And I have to say that is not cool. Now give me money to buy me a brick and mortar bar. Okay, without alcohol. Y'all, I just wanna like, like why can't you support my dreams? Another great episode of Summer House. Like I'm totally, I'm just into this whole drama,

the disintegration of this relationship, which we all knew was gonna happen. We all saw it coming and now we get to watch it happening week after week. I am riveted, I am fascinated. I have some very interesting opinions about it. I can't wait to dive in. All right, well you're gonna get to, okay.

Everybody, thanks for being here. Join us in Los Angeles for our next live show. It is going to be at the beginning of May at the Kukaburra Lounge. So check that out. You can find tickets for that where you can also find tickets for our European tour to London, Dublin, and Birmingham over at watchwhatcrappens.com. This is a video, high crappens on demand. So if you want video recaps, join Patreon. It's also where you get bonus episodes.

Ben, let's get into this episode, shall we? Yeah, I would love to get into it. So, you know, we don't, we no longer get the wonderful summer house theme song, which as we all remember, goes like this. I miss that song. I miss it. I think they should bring it back. They should bring it back. It's a great song. A great song of someone just sort of like slowly exhaling their experiences out, you know? It's like watching a piece of paper sort of float down to the ground. But instead, we do get some

good Trixie music. Just like poking somebody too much when you're like poking somebody in there. Like you're trying to wake up a little kid. It's like when you have a stick vacuum and the battery dies while you're vacuuming. Yes. Yeah, or like a string gets caught in it. Oh, the worst. The worst. So, um, but instead we have some Trixie Monocle music, uh, which is really optimistic.

It's goes, never get up, never give up, I will fight till I get there. And it's just them driving. I guess that's a good song for traffic, like driving to the Hamptons, never give up, I will fight till I get there. They're actually like, they're like summoning a mountain, they're persevering through life's obstacles and it's just them on the LIE. Yeah, this is about a bunch of privileged people going to spend time in the Hamptons. So I really don't need to hear about how they never give up

and they'll fight until they get there. Especially since most of them have given up. I mean, really, if you follow their storylines at all, a lot of giving up on this show. So we go to one car, it's Sierra, West, Jesse, Gabby, to driving. And we find out that Jesse and West are like besties. They rode out all week together. They even rode bikes together, guys, presumably the rental bikes from the street where you just like rent it from an app. I mean, that's real friendship right there. That's bro-ship. And then they're asking how did Ciara and Wes date go?

And they say it went well. And Jess is like, did you get a late night kiss? And Wes is like, yeah, we made out. And there was full tongue. And Ciara was like, oh my God, you just like told everyone our business. Like he asked. So that happened.

It's huge. So I am sorry that I just gave you dead air like that. That was not nice of me. That was totally not to rise on your back together. What happened was I was using my notes app, but I have my computer in dark mode and I start falling asleep when I'm trying to read things on a black page with white letters. I'm like, oh my God, I'm so relaxed. I was about to say, it's not your fault there was dead air.

It was the show's fault for giving us such an uninteresting opening scene. Well, you know, hey, they can't all be golden. Am I right? So yeah, he's like kissing and telling. And then we get to the Hamptons and we get a new song. I'm feeling it. There ain't no concealing it. Oh, for fuck's sake.

Make you feel alive. And we just see the Kia driving in the driveway. Everybody's coming back to life just seeing that Kia. It's like, oh my God, I feel so alive. The Brooklyn Grey Kia. I was so offended this week because someone on Twitter tweeted and was like, you need to be like nicer to Kia's Kia's are awesome. I'm like, have you just not been participating in my personal journey over the past year?

Do you not realize I'm a proud Kia owner that I named my Kia Padma? Do you not know these things? I am a Kia stan, okay? Well, I think it's a funny car for them to be owning in their relationship because I feel like they're both trying to rebrand themselves. Like we're fixed, you know, cause Kia, I saw Kia yesterday. I was driving, you know, yeah.

Cause I was driving next to a Kia, one of the ones that wasn't rebranded. It was like one of the old Kiaias that like had these little tiny wheels. I was like, how is that even legal to put wheels that side? They were like scooter wheels on the car and the damn thing wouldn't accelerate. It was a piece of shit, this car, basically. And I was like, wow, they really did rebrand the Kia

because now they're fancy and they're big and like they're trying to convince us all, but I don't think there's enough long-term testing for us to really know how this branding is going. And I feel like that is basically what's happening with Lindsay and Carl. And we're just slowly starting to see the big new fancy wheels start wobbling. You know, it's like you can put a new font on the hood, but at the end of the day, we still don't know how reliable these cars really are, except for the Kia Sportage, which I have, which of course is a perfect car and nothing bad will ever happen to it.

No, nothing bad will ever happen. Ever, ever, ever. But it is funny because I think the person, their larger point, I think it was the same person or maybe I'm just mixing up tweets. Someone did mention like reminded us that Lindsay and Carl did start off with like Alexis sponsorship and now they're down to Kia. So like next stop, is there next up after Kia? What's the next stop down? Nissan?

Down, you think Nissan's below Kia? Is Nissan bad? I don't know, are you just trying to to thank everybody out there? Do people stand for Nissans? Like does Nissan have any distinct quality? Does like, I feel like Nissan's are pretty generic. I'm happy for all the Nissan drivers out there. Um, you know,

what I have the Nissan Juke. I like that one. Yeah, look at that. I like it. It's like future. It's like a, why would you name a car after a herky jerky move on the football field? Cause when it was broken, you just punch it like the juke box. A juke is literally the move you make when you want people to think you're going to the right, but you actually go to the left. That is the worst quality to have on a road. Oh, it's not. Yeah. It's that kind of square one. It's like square, but then the roof slopes down. It's like kind of a mini Cooper, but also, uh, I don't know. I think this is a cute car.

It's a crossover. Okay. Wait, crossover and Juke Nissan. I just find that Nissan's a very generic. And I don't, by the way, if Nissan owners get mad at me, well, you know what? I've been accused of caring too much about what the audience cares about, so I'm sorry Nissan owners, but that's just my opinion. That's where you're taking a stand, huh?

You're like, well, here it is. Fuck you, Nissan owners. Watch, and they're gonna be the ones. They're gonna be the poor, innocent people, like, what the hell? What I do? You're being so mean. You're being totally unrealistic.

Well, you wanted my opinion, guys. You got it. Oh, Ben. Okay, so Carl and Lindsay arrive in the Kia. Oh, oh, it's great to have them here. The Lindsay arrive in the Kia. Aw, y'all. It's great to have her here. They're back to do Kia.

So they come there and Carl's like, oh, hooray! They're doing that thing where they're trying to convince everybody again with their tone, how happy they are in their relationship. Yeah. And it's just, I feel like we all recognize this tone as just being completely false at this point. Like, oh wow, here we are, babe. Here we are, we're at the house.

This is crazy world vacation together, babe. Say, yeah, babe. Wow, babe. Well, that's because they're driving a Kia Telluride, which is a big ass SUV that has like, what, the captain's chairs or pilot chairs, whatever. It's for like giant families. And that's the sort of vibe you have to talk in

when you have those cars, because you have to talk in when you have those cars, because you have to get in that car with your kids, pretending like you're really excited about what you're doing. And then by the time you get there, you fucking hate every life decision you ever made, because your family's driving you nuts. So that's like you, like you were forced to talk like that.

Oh, I don't, I wouldn't talk like that. I wasn't raised like that. You get into the family car and it's, you shut the fuck up or you die. I will shove this wooden spoon down your throat. I've got it in the glove compartment. Wait, don't you think, you think this fly swatter can't reach you back there?

It can! And no, the key is to tell you where it's pretty big. I know that's, the thing has to be a long fly swatter. I literally hit the back of my head with my underarm flap, by the way, right now. I felt it slap against my head. By the way, how now. I felt it slap against my head. Okay. How funny would it have been if Carl and Lindsay

had shown up in a cyber truck instead? That would have cracked me up. Because I feel like- I don't understand what those cars are doing. What are they doing? They look like can openers. Like why are they pointing on the top? They are so strange.

They look like a Tetris piece that fell out of the video game. It's like, yeah, cause we're gonna be out here a little bit. I know cause they're triangular. Tetris doesn't have triangle. Like what are they doing? You know who else doesn't have triangles? Cars. Like there's, there are reasons for things. There are reasons that cars are not triangles. Who thought that was a good idea? Let me tell you something. I don't know who's going to do it first. Either Kyle's going to show up next season in a cyber truck or Carl. If Carl and Lindsay had made it one more year, I feel like they would have tried to really sell us on their relationship with

a Cybertruck, but they didn't. They're, they're stuck in Kia purgatory. And also they're so expensive, but it sounds like cyber Monday. Like where else do you hear cyber? You know, cyber crime. I always think of cyber Monday. And so it was like, why would you give like a half a discount name to an expensive- It literally looks like a jump. Like it looks like the Cybertruck looks like an obstacle on a side bike. It looks like a little motorcycle should go flying off of it.

It does look like a stunt car in a movie. Like people are just supposed to drive their motorcycles really fast at it and then like stunt over it. I don't know, but I'm loving this episode about cars. I could just make fun of cars all day long. Okay, so Karl Lenzier- I saw one of those Mini Coopers on steroids to the countrymen. I was trying to explain to my niche what a countryman was

and I saw the countryman. I kind of want one of those cars too, I like it. It's like big. It's like a, it's like a just, it's a Mini Cooper that just let itself go proudly. It's like, fuck yeah, fuck me in a Mini Cooper. I am who I am and you're gonna take it. And I was like, yes.

All these brands that are trying to wedge their class, their signature looks into an SUV form, it's like hilarious. It's hilarious. Like the, I still think the Porsche Cayenne is hilarious cause like a Porsche, but an SUV. Or now there's now a Mustang, Ford Mustang, but it's also an SUV. I love those, but I like the form factor on those,

but they're only electric. Like those are Rolls Royce SUV, that's wild. Yeah, that's crazy. Okay, so then it's already big enough to be an SUV, the Rolls. I know. Those are huge cars. Okay, so then... So, Carlin Luther arrived with a fake Tome. Yeah, so then, um... So Carl and Lindsay arrive with a fake tone.

Yeah, with their fake tones. And the guys in the other car, Jesse and his giant mouth are excited for the weekend, and I love him. Love the big mouth. We should also mention Carl crying. Not that big. We love Jesse's big mouth,

but we should also mention Carl again, trying to act like everything's great by walking in the door and going, hello, I don't think anyone's here by walking in the door and going, hello, I don't think anyone's here, like what should we do? Like, have a dance party? You wanna have a dance party babe? Like, we're just like fun, we're like a great,

like we're like happy, we're like a happy couple right now. I'm like, okay, give it up Carl. Look at us, totally fine to be alone in the kitchen together. Oh, what are we gonna do, what are we gonna do? And so Lindsay goes to sit outside and just closes her eyes and soaks up some sun. And he's like, oh, are you sleeping? Are you sleeping out here?

And she just ignores him. So she sits down and he's like, come on, hang out with me, babe. I just drove in the car for three hours with you. And this is why, you know, being on Lindsay's side through all of this is kind of controversial. I get it, you know? And I don't expect everybody to agree with me.

We all have the right to our opinions. But I just feel, I just see him poking her constantly. Well, what is this? You were just in the car with her two and a half hours. She walks in, she just wants to be quiet and you're like, hey, hey, we never hang out. We never hang out. He probably didn't speak to her one time

in that whole car ride over here. What do you think? They were probably too busy listening to like some, some hooting the blowfish song the entire way. I don't know. I think that like, I think that she in her mind is still stewing over the fact that he wants to spend their money to build an alcohol free sports bar. And she knows that that's a terrible idea. Someone actually messaged or tweeted saying there's no margins like,

or all the margins in hospitality comes from booze. So you take out the booze, there's not even any margins in there anymore. And she knows that he's going to come to the house and he's going to say, yeah, well, Lindsay didn't like support my dream and make her seem like the bad guy for shooting down this cockamamie idea. And I think she's just bracing. I think she's bracing for it now. Get better dreams, that's what I say.

Get a better fucking dream, that dream's stupid. Hi, your dream is stupid. And I think we need to normalize telling our friends their dreams suck because people waste a lot of times on stupid dreams, you know? There are better dreams. You don't only have one dream, you get one a night. You know what I mean?

Try again, try and get a better dream. That's my support, advice to you. I admire that he wants to work in an area that he's interested in, and right now he's interested in mental health and recovery, but like, I don't know. So variety isn't really all meant to, I don't know. But I just like, go to school. Go go get a degree and then you do it and then go and help open a Starbucks. Okay. Open a Starbucks

with working have a why don't you why don't you open up something that's not just like a sober version of something else just open up something that's an alternative. Like a board game cafe. Just start playing board games. something that's an alternative, like a board game cafe. Just start playing board games. So, Carl's like, Lindsay's telling us, oh, Carl and I are like, COVID times. Which, wow, that's a little.

Always what you wanna hear heading into your wedding. That being the test. So, she's saying it sucks because Carl doesn't have a nine to five, which I have to point out. I mean, you know it sucks because Carl doesn't have a nine to five, which I have to point out. I mean, you know, Lindsay, you don't have a nine to five either. Why is it okay for you not to have a real job, but it's not okay for Carl to have a...

Doesn't he do influencer things? I've seen his awkward ass reading copy plenty of time, you know? Why is it okay for her not to have a real job? It's not all about a nine to five. Let the man live his dreams. Just not that one. I think that she just thought that other one. I think she just wants some sort of income

coming in from Carl in some sort of way. So she's like, yeah, so he's like, doesn't have a nine to five. And so we were just like on top of each other a lot and like you need space to miss each other. So you need time away from each other to breathe. And then we share a house the weekend, so it's like, huh, I'm like, okay, great. Let me just nap in this Adirondack chair.

So Paige is not here this week, she's in Albany, okay? And so Jess is gonna take her room, and then we cut back to Carl and Lindsay in the backyards, like literally, he's just staring at her and sweating and kind of like brushing off gnats. And she's just got her eyes closed trying to pretend he's not there. Yep.

And then the other car comes in and Jess is like, honey, I'm home. And then everyone's like, hi. And there's like hugs. And Carl's like, oh, hey, Sarah, hi, Sarah, hey. Oh, hi, I thought you had a sweatshirt on. For a second that said, call Cook on it. Cause I saw it said KC, but it's just KC, not Call Cook.

That's hilarious. That's hilarious, Wes. And then they're like, oh my God, we're going to be so lonely without Amanda's dogs. Oh, thankfully we've got some dogs here. D-A-W-G-S, cause we're bros, we're dogs. Hey dog, hey dog, hey, is Randy Jackson in the house? Cause someone just called us all dogs. Who let the dogs out?

I think it was Lindsay, cause she wanted to come outside to nap. So she left the door open, the dogs came outside. Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof. Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof. And they're like, yeah woof. All the guys talk woof, woof, woof.

And everyone's like, yeah, I'll just let you guys be idiots together. Boys will be boys. So she walks off and Carl's like, okay guys, real talk, real talk guys, okay. How was last night, how was it, how was it West? And he's like, well, I got kind of nervous. I don't know if they turned off the AC,

but I was like sweating a lot. He goes, oh, did you sweat like a hostage? He's like, am I allowed to answer that on national TV in a way that's politically correct? And Jesse goes, he goes, yeah, my guy runs hot. He's like a furnace. He's also not as attractive as I am. Poor guy, poor guy.

So Wes talked about how he was like patting his forehead down with cocktail napkins and stuff. And he's like, I look like a grandpa. And so- Jesse was like, yeah, I was's like, I look like a grandpa. And so- I was sweating like a short person around a tall person. All right, Kyle? All right. I was like, bro, rough, rough, rough.

Yeah, he was sweating like someone who only sings in the car standing next to someone who majored in vocal music stuff. So that's what it is. Hey, dog, why don't we chest bump? And then West, when we're done, you can come like chest hip bone me. Wolf, wolf, wolf, wolf, howl at the moon, bro. You look short by the way.

Put your wolf on me. You look short by the way. Hey, you look short by the way. So. We're fine. You look short by the way. Hey, you look short by the way. So Kyle and Amanda show up and then Kyle goes... That's the sound of their engine turning off. Is that a cyber truck out there? It sounds like a fucking animal balloon being slowly deflated. She sounds like literally anything being deflated.

Anything that could be deflated. It's Amanda. But specifically the animal balloon, because they're made with such long balloons that they go through such a cacophony of noises. It's just like. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Carl is like being, I meant Kyle motherfucking Cook. Carl is really like being a little extra bro-y and like, hey, I'm fun. Look what a fun guy I am. I feel like he's trying to course cry from last weekend when they got this big fight. So I think he's trying to be like,

everything's great with me and Lindsay. I'm like the same guy. No worries here, everyone. I think he's coming in immediately setting up a villain edit for his spouse, his future spouse, his future not spouse, where he's coming in like, look at me. It's a me, fun Carl who just wants to have fun and evil Lindsay is gonna lose her shit again in a situation that was not filmed, which isn't that crazy. The second time in a row that we have no proof of what I'm saying except for word of mouth.

Dun dun dun. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial. If you don't know when Crystal Pepsi was discontinued, what was in Al Capone's vault, or which famous meteorologist is Lenny Kravitz's second cousin, then you haven't spent enough time on Wikipedia. But that's okay. I am here for you. is Lenny Kravitz's second cousin, then you haven't spent enough time on Wikipedia. But that's okay, I am here for you.

I'm Darcy Carden and I'm inviting you to listen to my new podcast, WikiHole from Smartless Media. Discover the craziest rabbit holes on Wikipedia with me and my funny friends as we bring the cyber frontier directly to your tympanic membrane. And if you listen to my podcast,

you'd learn that that's the sciency term for eardrum. We embark on a hyperlink rollercoaster as we start out on a Wikipedia page and go from link to link to link to link, careening through trivia, oddities and unexpected connections until we collectively shout, how the hell did we get here? Follow WikiHole on the Wond wonder app or wherever you get your podcasts

You can listen to wiki hole ad free by joining wonder plus in the wonder app or on Apple podcasts Hey grownups the cat in the hat cast is a new podcast from wonder perfect for the whole family Join the cat in the hat and your favorite dr Seuss characters as they get whisked away on a new adventure every week. Fish dreams of creating his very own polite and quiet podcast. That is, until he gets a surprise visit to his fishbowl podcast studio from the Cat in the Hat himself, and it becomes very clear that the Cat has other plans for the podcast. And those plans are the opposite of quiet.

Sing along to new favorite songs, try your luck at Titanic tongue twisters, have some fun with wondrous wordplay, and most importantly, bring your family along for all of the adventures in the Cat in the Hat cast. Follow the Cat in the Hat cast on the Wondry app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to the Cat in the Hat cast early and ad free on Wondry+.

Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Wondry Kids Plus on Apple podcasts today. I'm excited to get to weigh in on all this stuff when we get to it. So Amanda- I will never say I'm excited to weigh in. That is like my least favorite thing to do. I even hate the term weighing in.

I think it's offensive and I think we need to get rid of it. I'm excited to snack in on this. That's what I would like to do. So, Amanda's- I'm excited to binge on my opinions. I'm excited to binge on your opinions, Ben. I cannot wait for a nice, huge helping of your opinions. Yeah, with budge sauce on top. wait for a nice, huge helping of your opinions. Mm, yeah.

With budge sauce on top. So Amanda is asking Ciara if she and West kissed and you know, she's like, yeah, you know, well, Lindsay was saying that, they're talking about this kiss. No, I really don't care. They're like, oh my God, you guys kissed. Still then Lindsay's just trying to be one of the girls.

She's like, did you guys kiss like us, Ciara, when we had tongue? And then we see a clip of them kissing. And she's like, well, the kiss did last like five Mississippi. So then Lindsay tests a kiss on Gabby, but they just like sit there for five Mississippi's. And five Mississippi's is a long time. It's a long time, right?

That's a long time. Yeah, cause they're basically, cause Lindsay is saying, they're saying that Sierra always leads with her tongue and was like this, was like this kiss from last season and then they're doing it and then Wes sees them outside. It's like, hey, the chicks are making out inside. And then Sierra is saying, no, it wasn't like one big long kiss. It was like a little bit like in and out, in and out, in and out, whatever. So it's really all the information about that date that we didn't get to see, and that we honestly don't really care that much about.

So. We don't. Although I will say, it's nice to see Sierra be happy with somebody, right? Because I feel like Sierra has really been doing that thing where she's like, okay, well, I'm on a show and I'm supposed to date somebody, so here I go. And she tries to kind of make it happen, but she never really seems to be that into it.

I mean, even with Austin, she got, she played the game like she was into it, but I really never got any sense that she gave a fuck about Austin. I think it was more like storyline kind of, like I have to keep my job basically. But she actually seems to like this West guy. Well, you know, I'm excited that she's finally,

you know, connecting with a guy who treats her with respect, who's charming, who's sweet, who we have the audience for right now. We all really like him. So I'm really looking forward for when she finds a reason why she can never be with this person and then starts going back to pining about Austin. I'm looking forward to that arc for her. God, please don't let that happen. I can't take it. It's going to happen. that arc for her. God, please don't let that happen. I can't take it. It's going to happen. It'll be like, well, I don't know. I don't like the way he held his fork. I just don't think he's for me anymore. I mean, he's so short. He just held his fork in such a short way. So they get the boys, Jesse and West go off to pee together outside,

because that's what Carl does. He raises children into being these terrible, that's why Carl shouldn't have children. Look what the new Carl and fuck, the new Kyle and Carl are doing. They're going to fucking piss in the yard. Bro, this is a rental. Stop pissing all over people's yards, gross. And don't tell me it's fucking nature.

So are boogers, I don't have to like them. So Carl's like, hey, you guys are going to go across swords and must like, yeah, probably. So then Kyle and Amanda, by the way, speaking of nature, I saw this video today where, and it was just on my Facebook. I'm so offended that they even put it there. Like why would they, I'm not a monster. They put a bear being dragged to death. He was no, not a bear being dragged. A bear was dragging a wild boar up a hill in Tennessee

and these people were filming it and like commenting on it. It was so disgusting. My feelings are still hurt by it. I don't like the whole thing. So you know what, nature, fuck off with that. It's disgusting. Well, I can go there. We have an update on my hummingbird situation

on my patio, which is that yesterday I went and, um, someone on discord announced themselves as a bird expert and they said, Ben, you actually have to clean your hummingbird feeder very rigorously. You killed the hummingbird. Listen, I don't think I did, but they said you should do it just in case there's avian flu or there's pox that could be contagious. So I rigorously cleaned that hummingbird feeder. I like to say other hummingbirds are still alive.

So let's just let me say that. But I put it back out there. And then as I was walking around the patio, I found about 10 feet away from the hummingbird feeder, I saw a little thing of feathers and I was like, huh, looks like hummingbird feathers. It was because it was a bright orange, a little tuft of feathers. And I looked closely and a little beak was attached. There is a severed hummingbird beak on my patio right now, which leads me to believe that there is a killer on the loose of those hummingbirds.

I don't think my hummingbird died of pox. I think my hummingbird died of pox. I think my hummingbird died of serial killer. Same. I think there was like a, there was a blow dart. There was a fucking angry ass bird up there that took out my hummingbird. I don't know what's going on, but there's a severed beak, a severed beak. I, I, I, I'm, that is dark. Nature is fucked up. I don't know who did this, but we're I'm getting Jodie Foster on the case because it's fun. That is dark.

So Kyle and West go to cross swords and Carl's like, Hey, you guys are going to cross sword. And they're like, yeah, probably. It's hot. So then, um, they talk about how Kyle and Amanda went to a wedding and he's like, yeah, I think that weddings are another form of therapy. It was like the person that did the officiating was saying things about, you know, like, hey, you have to put in some work or I wish I could have officiated that wedding just so I could have been like, Kyle, cut your fucking hair, Kyle.

Okay. Showing up every week in a mullet is not helping your relationship change it. Yeah. Like, you know, it's talking about you have to put in a relationship and then like Amanda's squeezing my hand and I'm squeezing hers. I'm squeezing hers and hers and hers and hers. Then I realized I just have the shakes. I just needed some booze. My hands were spasming. So it was like therapy. What I learned was can't go too long without booze. So he's like, yeah, well, quite frankly, with all the drama with you and Lindsay,

we kind of flew under the radar and we didn't really have to have the conversation that we really needed to have. And Carl's like, huh, I guess you're welcome. Or you're not welcome. I'm not really sure how to take that. Here's what I will say, woof woof. Every dog has a name, all right? Woof woof. Every dog has a name, woof woof.

Hey, roll over. Am I right? Well, you know what though, like couples fight and like in a weird way, I'm like actually like really glad that like me and Lindsay fought just like, you know, like get it off our chest because like, you know, we have our moments, man. But like sometimes it's like not even alcohol, right? Like we actually fight about things that like don't have to do with alcohol. Like for instance, like the other day I was like, why is it that every time I like talk to you,

just give me the silent treatment? And then she was like, I'm over here, Carl. And turns out I was like talking to that cutout of hers the entire time. So like, it was weird, but it was like misunderstanding. But I can swear to you, they have the same teeth. It's the weirdest thing. I'm glad they just made part of that thing 3D, but they did.

I was like, why don't we open up a beer garden, but have it totally dry, and then she just didn't even respond to me. Turns out, talking to the cardboard cutout again, it's really awkward. And Kyle's like, oh bro, how do you feel that she just shot you down? She just shot you down.

Yeah, cause it's a stupid fucking idea. And there's a person who sells alcohol, you should know this. Gay, Kyle. And Kyle's like, well, alcohol, you should know this. Okay, Kyle. And Carl's like, well, it felt like she was taking the wind out of my sails a tiny bit. Like, I talk about doing things in the sobriety world or like the mental health space and like, you know, she has concerns with that. Yeah. I'm sure she wouldn't have concerns with you doing things that didn't involve spending tens of thousand dollars a month

doing things that didn't involve spending tens of thousand dollars a month on something. You know what I mean? Yeah. So, She thinks that I'm like, basically pigeonholing myself, which is funny, because like my new idea that I pitched to her was like cornhole, but instead of throwing bean bags,

you actually throw actual pigeons into the holes, call it pigeonholing. She didn't like that one either. So, I just feel like it's not bad to want to sell some. I mean, look, Karl wants to sell something, right? So like whether it's open the sports bar, I'll sell non-alcoholic drinks.

I personally don't see that as working, but who knows, you know? But I think people spend on addiction in general, like whether it's their drinking, you know, it doesn't mean that everybody who drinks is an alcoholic, but that's obviously kind of an addictive thing or an ice cream store, it's sugar. Like people want their sugar.

I mean, cocaine, you know, sex. You gotta think of something that sells, not soda water. It just doesn't work. You gotta do- Unless you're in Utah. I don't want hibiscus, you know what I mean? You know, in Utah they got those soda places, you know, where people like little bitch and your old Bobby. Yeah, everybody's sober there.

You gotta. That's the only place I think you can make soda really turn a profit, right? Yeah, and why? Because it's an addiction to people like Bobby, the soda drunk on. Yeah, I'm 12 years old now. You get to tell me what to do.

She's like, Oh, that's it. She's mixing Big Red with Dr. Pepper. She's having a real Sid and Nancy moment over there. So Carl's like, you know what? Like, uh, Carl's like, yeah, Lindsay should basically, Lindsay should talk it through with you and not just like outright reject it. You guys should break up.

And Carl's like, you know what? At the end of the day, in like the next year, I need to make a decision on what I'm doing career wise. And I don't disagree, but at the same time, I don't think she's listening to what's important to me. I'm like, wait, you need a whole other year on top of the year you just had and the career counselor you just had?

You still want another year and you think that's reasonable? Okay, fine. Yeah, so then Carl and Lindsey are in the bedroom and he's like, oh, I think I should shower but I've already showered twice today. She goes, um, why do you need to shower again? He's like, oh, well, maybe I should though, but should I?

I don't think you should shower again. Wow, really just like shooting down all my dreams. Way to not support my decisions. Wow, it's like I down all my dreams. Way to not support my decisions. Wow, it's like I tell her I want to shower and she's like, no, you're pigeonholing yourself as like a clean person. It's just like so rude. Woof, woof.

That's just so weird. Like even this issue is not technically about alcohol but it's like Carl's uncomfortable, uncomfortability with staying dry. It's weird. Like everything comes back to it is bizarre. Okay, so he's like, at the end of the day, I get nothing for nothing.

Oh, I just wanted to say that. Okay, I'm not gonna take a shower because Lindsay's mean to me and doesn't support me. So then Lindsay is walking, she gets dressed and she's walking through the hall in high heels and Amanda's like, Lindsay Lindsay you sound like a peg leg That's funny I actually want to open up a bar for peg legs, but peg legs are sober So

Sober peg legs Sober peg legs Are we even allowed to use the expression peg leg anymore? I'm pretty sure we can't Listen, I mean, like if you got into a fight with Moby Dick and you lost your leg and you didn't come out of that sober, I do not have a hibiscus soda for you. Just kind of thinking, imagine it's like a sports bar.

Imagine like a Buffalo Wild Wings, like BW Squared, but like for whales who are sober, just putting it out there. Sober whales. Buffalo whale wings, yeah. Sober mammals, if you wanna open it up a little bit. Just wanna make it a big tent. Not dolphins though.

Yeah, dolphins are, they're waste. They're terrible influence. But like if you're like a baleen whale or like a sperm whale or like an R wall, we'd love to really open our doors for you. Okay, so we go to the kitchen and Lindsay's like, you wanna take a shot of vodka everybody? Okay, now listen, I don't think that you should,

just because your partner's sober, I get that people are, some people are sober and they're with partners who are not sober. I get it. This is just unhealthy, I'm sorry, I don't care. I don't mean in general, but I mean these two. Lindsay is, last season was her whole, I'm supporting Carl by not drinking.

And this season, it's not just I'm drinking, it's like chugging and doing shots every time we cut to Lindsay. So do you think this is her acting out in a way and being like, fuck him? I think it is, but I think also, here's where I have some issues. Okay. All right. Lindsay later on in this episode, as we'll soon see, does the same thing she does last week, which is really terrible. She does accuse a sober person of being on drugs. I think she does

it because she knows it's going to hurt him. It's a really vile move. I don't approve of it whatsoever. does it because she knows it's going to hurt him. It's a really vile move. I don't approve of it whatsoever. It's like I fully understand why Carl will get frustrated and annoyed by her. But where I am actually more annoyed, believe it or not, is the fact that Carl spends a lot of energy saying how he's totally fine having a partner who drinks. And yet I don't think he is at all. And I think he is being completely dishonest with himself. And she, cause she's not only is she drinking, she's drinking a lot. And this is not unlike Lynn. Lindsay's always been like this.

She had her, her brief pause when they got together, but like she is a drinker and he has to stop lying to himself that he is totally down with that. I think he's just like desperate to, to act. He's desperate to seem like he's just the same old Carl guys. Don't worry. Don't worry. You don't have to be scared of me. I'm the same old Carl. I'm like down with everything, but he doesn't like this whatsoever. What are we talking about by the way? No, I'm with you. I'm following you. I think it's unfair to hold this against her. That's what I'm saying. I feel like it's unfair to hold this against her because you're saying one thing and you feel another and you're not being honest about how you feel.

And then she is bearing the brunt of this. I do. I think it's shitty of her as a partner, probably because I, like you said, I think like probably a more helpful thing would be to support your, support your, your partner on their sobriety journey. But to be fair, but he's not giving her any signals to say, stop drinking. He's not saying I need to be with a sober person. And I think that's actually what he really needs and what he wants.

I think he needs to be with a sober person, but do you think there's part of it that my, and this is just a question, honestly, just thinking through it. Do you think there's a part of him that's like, I'm better than you? Like, would you quit drinking? Like, do you think part of him that's like, I'm better than you. Would you quit drinking?

Like do you think part of the plus side of being with somebody who's drinking so much is like a feeling of superiority? Like I don't know if you're still a fucking mess, you know? I don't know if he feels that or not, to be honest. But what I do know is that Lindsey thinks that. I think that Lindsey really is triggered by, I think that Lindsay is projecting a lot of her own insecurities onto the situation. I think the reason why she gets so upset at Carl is that she is,

in her mind, she sees Carl as having a superiority complex because of this. And that's why she's like, so what if I want to have a drink, you know, like you can't judge me, you can't judge me. I don't know if Carl really has superiority complex. It sort of comes off that way, but I also feel like maybe the, I can't really tell to be honest. But did- Well, superiority complex is fairly normal

the first couple of years after you quit drinking. I mean, anybody who's quit drinking or is friends with or family with people who have quit drinking knows that that's a side effect of quitting drinking where everybody around you suddenly is an alcoholic. We're like, I quit, oh my God, these people are all wasted, you know? Cause there is something when you're not drinking

and you're looking around and just seeing how much people drink, like how much we normalize it, you know what I mean? Like you drink literally everywhere. And if there aren't drinks or if you're not drinking, people make such a big deal out of you not drinking or they're not being drinks, you know? So it is kind of weird. And so I think part of him is probably like,

well, you're fucking drunk because you're drunk literally all the time. But then on the other hand, Lindsay does drink a lot. And she's telling me that. Lindsay drinks a lot. And so does Carl. You know, they're on a show about partying and the whole thing is them going to the

Hamptons to party all weekend. So I don't even know if it's a judgmental thing on my part, but you know, I'm just thinking that's not supportive. Like when you, I'm sorry, when you're with a sober person, just being shit faced morning to night is just not cool. That's not great. And they have to kiss you while you taste like that alcohol. That's the thing, the kissing. Does she have to alcohol. And does she have to break up with the alcohol

to be with him? No, but if you're really supporting someone's journey, being wasted all day just really isn't a help either. I agree. I totally think that it is not a help, but I think also if you have someone who's telling you, I want you to be you, and I want you not to change what you're doing because of

me, I'm on my own journey and I don't care if you drink and then you think, great, so I'll drink again. I think that like, I'm sorry, but Carl I believe is sending dishonest messages to Lindsay. I think if Lindsay had like a little bit more awareness, which she never has had by the way, but if she had some more awareness, she would, she would cut back on the way. But if she had some more awareness, she would, she would cut back on the drinking cause she would see that they are having fights and the fights seem to happen when she gets drunk and that he's still really fresh on this, on this path. And it's probably, he can't deal with it.

If she were, she, if she, I think if she were more self-aware, she would do that. But the truth is again, I don't think Carl is fully innocent in this. I think Carl has been dishonest. And I think that, uh, I don't think it's really fair sometimes to hold her to a standard that, um, he's lying about, maybe not maliciously. I don't, I just don't think he is, you know, he's at a place where he really recognizes what he truly wants. I think he's still like concerned about how it'll fit in. I think he's concerned that if he says, I want whoever's with me to be sober too, that he's gonna be an outcast, that he's gonna be like not as fun. I think he's concerned about what people think about him. And he has to sort of get over that, I think, and not in a mean way,

but like he just has to like get to that place in life where he's can accept himself for, you know, be happy with himself and what he wants. Sounds gross. So Lindsay's like, what's the baby vibe? Are we going to have dirty martinis? I want a dirty martini. It's martini vines.

I would like a Tino's with no olives and lemon leaves. Carl's just looking at her, like, I can't believe sheion's drinking right now, even though I told her it's okay to drink. So everyone orders, and Lindsay's like, link, link, link, link, link, okay, don't please, um, and all the good vibes, and on the real, real, I'm really enjoying this camaraderie we have at the group. I feel like, actually, remember how like, the first weekend everyone was like, this is the best at the group. I feel like actually remember how like the first weekend

everyone was like this is the best chemistry the group has ever had. But now that Paige isn't here, I think that this is the best chemistry we've ever had. Just wanna put that out there. Right, right. I was wondering why she was acting like that. She's like, I'm really enjoying this camaraderie in there.

This camaraderie has 100% what she was doing. I think we can all agree that maybe you guys had a misfire on that weekend, and that now this is kind of the best group that there ever was in the house, so. She's like, and I think the boys bringing in boy energy and things is so great. And Carl's like, woof, woof.

Woof. And Wes says, do you like Carl's bark? Have you ever heard his bark before? She says, I don't wanna hear his bark because I might give the ring back with that bark. And everyone's like, oh my God, Lindsay's so emotionally abusive, I'm sad. Carl's like, what?

So Lindsay's like, I feel like hanging out and like enjoying each other's company and doing things together. I like doing things we didn't really have last summer because I think like Pantras there, you know? So especially us Daniel, like we can only have like our project back again isn't this like the best group ever? To us, like and subscribe, like and subscribe and cheers to smashing that subscribe button.

I love Sarah! Commercials, here comes one right now. now. So, um, everyone cheers. And then Lindsay chugs her dirty martini. So it's like, despite everything, like she is going really hard for someone who is with a sober person. She's going really, really hard. Like, what are you doing, Lindsay? Okay. I, I, I feel like Carl is, I feel like Carl is dishonest, but Lindsay, you really are not being

a supportive partner right now. Here's the thing, and we're gonna, this is not gonna end just because I say this. We're gonna sit here running around in circles, trying to figure out who is right and who is wrong. But I think, and it's gonna change every five minutes, because each minute, they each do something to piss me off in this relationship.

I will say this, they should not be together, the end. That's it. Well, no matter what's going on, they're still Lindsey and Carl at the end of the day. We've been watching this show too long to think that either one of these people is totally innocent. They're both manipulative, crazy people,

and they should not be together. Just because you find another person that's manipulative and crazy and you accept each other for that does not mean you should get married, okay? You should find one normal person. There should only be one person getting emotionally abused. You should both be emotionally.

One of you should be the alpha and then like make the other one feel bad in passive aggressive ways, okay? That's love, that's what love is. You can't just both be going at it all the time. Isn't it so nice to know they'll be breaking up by the end of the season though? Cause I feel like a lot of times we do this

and it's always like, we're shouting into the void like Brittany, Lee Jacks or Colin, Amanda, you guys like are dysfunctional or this group, this duo, this duo and here we like, it's like, oh, but it's going to work out. We're going to get our happy ending. Yep. And so-

I'm just see it, now that we're seeing it, how it's unfolding, it seems like they are both laying the foundation of it to look like they're the hero in the foundation. It's like they both know that this breakup is coming, but they're both trying to write the story over the course of the season that they're the hero. Carl's fucking with Lindsay when the cameras aren't on

to piss her off, then she's losing her shit. Then Lindsay keeps invoking Sandoval and Skandoval against Carl setting up that he's just like Sandoval. She even says it again today, you're just like Sandoval. That's a third time, literally the third time she's invoked it on camera, Sandoval trying to be the Ariana of the group and become the biggest influencer out of everybody and like wearing her wedding dress to take her honeymoon after Carl dumped her and doing

all of this stuff. And it's just so funny that they're like building themselves up to be the big hero of their own Sandoval. And you really are two influencers at the end of the day. Yeah. So Lindsay is like, well, it's been discussed that like maybe, um, Jesse, you have a thing for Paige and she's like a taken, kept woman who's kind of like a bitch too. And Sierra was like, yeah, by the way, Jesse, I'm going to give you a slight warning. Since Craig is coming next weekend, you need not to be wondering what Paige is up to my friend. And I love you,

but don't do that. And he's like, but I don't think I've crossed any lines except with my pee-pee, crossing swords. But yeah, no, I mean, that's just been like normal and friendly. I've just been like, without just hanging out with you guys. Carl, do you want to bark to confirm that? Woof, woof. Yeah, it's confirmed. And Daniel's like, don't lie. I heard that you touched Paige's leg.

So he tells us like, I'm like, listen, I was initially attracted to her, but am I gonna push with a girl who's got a boyfriend? No, I mean, it's an unnecessary obstacle, all right? Like their babies will probably be cute, but like just everybody take a step back. Okay, just relax guys. So then Lindsay spills her drink cause she's wasted. She's like, ah, and then, um, and Carl's like, oh, I can't believe she spilled her drink. And then it's like, they're going to

go out and it's like, are people going to go out tonight? And so everyone's excited to go out. Except of course, Amanda is like, I'm on my last leg right now. And Carl's like, you'm on my last leg right now, Kyle. Kyle's like, you've only got two. Which I, why does it keep coming back to legs with Amanda today? It's like peg leg. And then I'm almost got one leg. Like what is she watching right now on TV

that she's obsessed with limbs? Maybe she's in her own Moby Dick. Remember you had your Moby Dick moment like four years ago, four or five years ago. Maybe she's finally having own Moby Dick. Remember you had your Moby Dick moment like four years ago, four or five years ago. Maybe she's finally having her Moby Dick moment. I did. When I saw Moby Dick, the opera. Yeah.

I was amazed. I never knew the whole story. I really didn't know it was about like a dude having a personal vendetta against a fucking whale. I loved it. I thought it was amazing. The whale, the whale, the whale. It's a real blueprint for the housewives, you know?

It's like the Lisa Rinna story. Rubbery meat, rubbery meat. I got that opera. Okay, so, sorry everybody. I lived through it for three hours. So you had to take two seconds of it. Cry me a fucking river. Okay, so.

So they're talking about age, what's she up to this weekend? And oh, sorry, no, they go out. So everyone's also at the club and we see 1152, Carl's coming home, and Lindsay comes in separately. And she's like, it's me. So then, Amanda, Amanda, I think comes down, is like coming downstairs and Lindsay's going upstairs. Is that like, Calamite lotion on your face? Which I don't know why that's so funny.

Like the idea that like maybe Amanda went rolling around in poison ivy on her face. That's just so old school, you know? And Amanda's like, um, yes, pimple wash. I'm sorry for God. I had it on. Sorry. I scared you. So then in Lindsay and Carl's room, Lindsay's like, um, like that she walked in with this air. The minute she sees Carl, she's like, can you unzip me?

Yeah. Cause Carl watching was like, ha. And then they, and you'd think it's just like, okay, people coming home. But then, yeah, when she says, can you unzip me? He's like, no, I can't. He will not unzip her. That's shocking. And she's like, oh, Mr. Icyman, another room? And he's like, huh, well, that's up to you.

Jesus fucking Christ! I will not be spoken to the way that you are. How dare you? How dare you speak to me like that? No one spoke to you? No one spoke to you. Okay, and then he goes, you accused me of doing drugs again.

And I had to pause and laugh. That's like, come on, Lindsay, really? Okay. What is this relationship? That shit is so Lindsay to like be so wrong. And one episode be like, oh my God, how wrong was Lindsay? Even if I was more on her side, like not totally anti her, even I could be like, oh yikes, that was bad.

But then to come back the second week and do it again. But don't worry, there's a twist this week. There's a twist. Yeah, so she's like, no I didn't. Yes you did. No I didn't. Oh yes you did., I didn't. He's like, yes, you did. No, I didn't. Oh, yes, you did. No, I didn't.

Wow, this is so fucked up. So now- So then we get another story because here we go. Brought them on the kids. Here we go again, where this happens, where there's no cameras, which this is fishy. And I'm sorry, everybody, but this is fishy. That Carl always has some story about being a total victim when they couldn't get him on camera. Because he knows how this works.

This is your whatever. Okay, so he's like, okay, so we were at dinner and it was a little dirty and I was tired. And I was like, I'd like to go home. So she comes with me. And as soon as we get in the car, she's like, what's wrong? Something's wrong with you.

And I'm like, Lindsay, it's been a long day. I'm just tired, but that's not good enough. She won't let it go. And she continues like, Lindsay, it's been a long day. I'm just tired, but that's not good enough. She won't let it go. And she continues to keep on doing it. And then I start barking. And then she's like, stop barking, you fucking drug addict. And I'm like bark bark, ruff ruff. And she's like, how many drinks have you had? And then she goes, what do you want? And I said, I'm not on anything. And she said, you're a liar. Meow.

I'm not on anything. And she said, you're a liar. Meow. We were literally fighting at cats and dogs. Well, it's just like so infuriating cause I'm like shaking. I'm like shaking right now because like it's so hurtful. It's like, it's like not okay. Like Lindsay, you can't accuse me of doing drugs. Like it's so fucked up and you did. And, uh, you're not going to admit, if you're not going to admit that, then like, I don't know if I can tell you that you look great by the way, okay? Okay, so this was the twist.

She's like, so Carl, do you smoke weed? And he goes, yes, but I didn't smoke weed tonight. And she goes, okay, well, you're the biggest gas lighter I've ever met. And he goes, oh, you've used that term five times. And she's like, you're literally set them all right now. Boom. And we get a boom, but it's in this, it's in the tone of dude.

And she's like, I've never met anyone like who, look, you came on with me and then you picked a fight with me. Okay. Here's the thing with the weed. So she was this time she wasn't saying, are you on something? She was like, are you stoned right now? And that's why you're fighting with me. So if he does smoke weed, why is it so offensive to be like, are you stoned right now? And that's why you're fighting with me. So if he does smoke weed, why is it so offensive to be like,

are you stoned right now? Well, yes, but it feels sort of like she just changed the, she kind of changed a little bit. But he never denies it. He never says that that's not what you said. You weren't talking about weed. He just says, but I wasn't smoking weed. So for you to accuse me of smoking weed,

well, no, but you do smoke weed. So. No, and he's like, no, I didn't pick a fight for so for you to accuse me of smoking weed. Well, no, but you do smoke weed. So, no. And he's like, no, I didn't pick a fight with you because you've been drinking. He goes, no, you pick the fight with me. No, I'm going to talk to you tomorrow. Thanks so much for your support. She goes, no, well, everyone knows that you're no angel. And he's like, I've been like very calm and telling you that I was like very calm and telling you I wanted to go home. I was very calm.

Then we just see Amanda just downstairs, like just being very still, trying to listen in on their fight. Take notes. Amanda taking notes on her calm. So Lindsay, she goes downstairs and she's like, he's literally the biggest scouts I've ever met. And Amanda's like, what's happening?

So she's talking like she, Lindsey goes, everyone wants to pin everything on me. He's a fucking terrorist. Terrorists. So- He wants to go out and then he wants to go home and then we're in the car and I'm like, okay, let's go home. And then we're like in the car and like on the way home

and he's like picking and picking and picking and picking and picking and picking and picking at me. And so I was like, why are you being this aggressive with me? So he tells her, you've been drinking. And then she says, well, if you're going to accuse me of drinking, then you better come clean about your stuff. And then next thing you know, he jumps out of the car

like a fucking lunatic. And I was like, the car wasn't moving, right? And she goes, no, he was like, stop the car, stop the car. Which is so dramatic. I mean, that's why, I mean, come on, this couple, I can't stop the car on getting out of this car. How dare you? By the way, but it's not good that Lindsay said,

what are you on? Because like, even if she meant weed, it's like, this is a very, very triggering words and accusations and questions to someone who's in recovery. And it's like, it's really not, it's not nice. Triggered, triggered, triggered. If you're going to be in the car with somebody and say, you're drunk right now, I'm not going to talk to you and you're still a weed smoker. It's up to me for her to say, well, you smoke weed

and I'm not constantly shoving that in your face, which it sounds like at this point is what's happening. I'm okay with that argument. I'm just saying that the phrasing of like, what are you on right now? Like she should pick better words for her. The person that she apparently likes. Well, if she's starting it by saying you're drunk

and she's saying, well, what are you on right now? Then I think that's fair. Now, that said, she is drunk off her ass and we can see it. So for him to be like, well, I don't wanna fight with you when you're drunk, that is absolutely fair. And that's what you're supposed to do.

If you're in a fight with somebody and they're drunk and you're not, you're supposed to not fight with them because it's stupid. It's not productive. It's not productive, it's not going to get anywhere. So I guess my thing is, I know that I'm going back and forth a lot, it's because there isn't like one correct side.

I guess what's bothering me is that he's, I'm not of the mind that you can't be California sober. Like I get the term, some people are totally, some people think sobriety means not having any kind of drug whatsoever. And some people think, well, if you smoke weed, that's okay because weed is legal, which, okay, so is alcohol, by the way. But it's not as harsh of a high as being being coked out of your mind or something. It's like a calmer high, but it's still being fucked up. And maybe he does have moments where he's just getting high and he still gets a temper

with her or whatever. We don't know. So I don't like that he's just getting high and he still gets a temper with her or whatever. We don't know. So I don't like that he's making it like, you said I was on drugs. When he's saying, I do smoke weed. And so if she's saying, did you smoke weed tonight? And then he's getting all defensive. I think that's unfair to pin it on her like,

oh, you're being so mean to me and accusing me of doing drugs if you're openly smoking weed. You know what? I think what does what though, the thing that is most evident is that these are two people who do not know how to communicate with each other, which is something that Gabby gets to at the end of the episode. They don't know how to communicate with each other,

which shows why this engagement was a mistake because they don't really know each other because I do think ultimately Lindsay, I think that Lindsay is phrasing, what are you on is a mean phrase to say to someone in recovery. But I also think that if Carl does, he is the sober one here and he's probably the sober one in this situation.

So therefore he should also understand in some ways what like that Lindsay has insecurities and she has triggers and she's clearly being triggered by something and his, his refusal to give her any of the reassurances that she needs to be able to feel safe in that situation. I don't mean like physically safe. She's not in any physical danger, but what she needs to be settled and to feel the reassurances that like her partner is there with her in that moment, loves her still, yada, yada, yada. He's not willing to give it to her.

And then she winds up just getting so infuriated that she says a really nasty thing, which is inexcusable. But like he needs to do his part too. I think ultimately they're not even in a relationship with each other right now. I think they're both in a really toxic relationship with drugs and alcohol, and they're fighting with each other over it. You've got Carl who's abstaining, you know, and so he's being kind of confronted by it because it's it's bugging Lindsay that he's

like so holier than now. He's not doing it and she's like drinking more. And I think it's like a the second issue that they both have with drugs and alcohol that they're fighting with each other, you know? Also the other big thing here that we're really not diving into is the very pressing matter that they're both two incredibly vapid people. I figured that was a given. That's it. That's it. That's all it is. Don't forget, these are just two vapid people fighting.

Okay, so everyone else comes home and they're, you know, they're fighting, you know, still. So they're saying that Carl's not in his room, right? So Lindsay's sleeping alone and Jesse's like, hey, yeah, well, if you're an engaged couple, like fucking figure it out. Honestly? Yeah. I'm sorry. Yeah. It's two weeks in a row. So that's what they're saying. It's been two weeks in a row and Gabby's like, well,

wedding planning is stressful. And he goes, I disagree. And she's like, well, have you planned a wedding before? He goes, yeah, no, but like, fucking figure it out. I think there's some truth yeah, no, but like fucking figure it out. I think there's some truth in that. Kind of like fucking figure it out. Well, at least don't make me listen to it. You know what I mean? Like I pay for this house too.

I don't want to have to come on vacation and fucking listen to this couple's fight. Last year it was Kyle and Amanda and this year it's Lindsay and Carl. And before that it was Lindsay and Stravi. And before that it was Lindsay and Stravi, and before that it was Lindsay and, let's face it, 90% of the time it's Lindsay. It's fucking Lindsay, 90%.

Yes, exactly. So Danielle, she goes and takes herself to the pool. The real victim in all this, the children. So she's like, I know that Lindsay and Carl had tension last week, and they're having tension now, and people are talking about it and having an opinion on it and just like test me right now because I'm trying to be my best, try my best not to be part of it. All I want to do is turn on the fog machine and fire up club send it but I have to mind my own business. I have to remove myself from the

situation even though my instinct is to not do that. Like, okay, what do you want, a Nobel Peace Prize? I mean, I don't know. She's just by the pool alone going, party, party, wanna party? Why aren't we partying? Club Send It is now poolside for a night of debauchery. So now is the next morning, Carl's like, oh, what happened to the car was unfortunate,

but it's also unfortunate that it's not on camera for you guys to see it. Oh, which is pretty coincidental, if you ask me. But guess what, it was reality. And I was dead sober. And I don't care that Lindsay drinks. I care about her behavior. When she drinks where he's dishonest, I think. I think he does care that she drinks. And that's okay. That's okay that he cares. But this also does not just start with them. Yeah, and this also didn't just start with her drinking. She was hating him all day long.

They were hating each other on date night the other night. She was presumably not drunk. She was hating him on the drive there. It's not just the drinking. It's that Lindsay is pissed off at Carl and resenting Carl and Carl not working and making any effort. And then she's getting drunk to give herself a break from it.

And then she's letting her feelings out too much, too aggressively when she's drunk. And then he's like, she's drunk. She's accusing me of things. Yeah, but you're also not addressing the issue of you fucking not doing anything for months at a time. Yeah, which is aggravating. So I think this next little section

here to me is moves the needle for me on which way I go. So Carl says, you know, the key differences, there are plenty of people that can drink and they do not turn into aggressive volatile detectives and crazy people. So then Jesse says to Carl, so what happened last night? He goes, honestly, man, we were just like trying to communicate. And he's like, you so you've known her all these years. Has she always been like this? He's like, yeah, at times she could be like that. And Jesse's like, so it's what you signed up for.

And to me, that right there is kind of, for me, that's kind of the thing. It's like Lindsay, when she drinks, becomes aggressive, volatile, crazy. All the things that Carl said. But she's been, that's what she's always turned into for eight years on this show. And it's- But also vice versa, because Lindsay has also had to deal with Carl

being a fucking gaslighter the whole time on this show. I mean, Carl had a very sad year last year, and I think that people forget because of the sad, it's like because you have sympathy or empathy for somebody, it's like, oh, okay, well, they're a hero now, you know? And I think people kind of forget that Karl has also been this. So it's like there are two people that went into the store and were like, we're here at the last minute, and if we don't get this, we're not going to be able to have dinner because we're old. Sorry, I couldn't keep it going.

I still think it's too old. Packages in the UPS, two damaged packages on the UPS truck. They thought they were together forever, but they were meant for different destinations. Okay. And, and I think that ultimately Lindsay, Lindsay has always been this way. And now he is suddenly acting like, oh, but this is now a problem. I mean, it is, it's not good.

This is not a good thing that Lindsay's like this. But like he knew what he was signing up for. And I think that maybe she misled him because I think they both were putting on a facade of like their best versions of what they thought they could be. But this is still ultimately who Lindsay is. And I don't know, I'm kind of like you. She is being she is being wretched to you. I don't, I do not take that away. But you signed up for it. You signed up for it. So now it's breakfast and Lindsay comes down and it's awkward as hell, you know?

And she's just too eager with Danielle. She's like, Danielle, thank you so much for ordering coffee on Instagram, you're so amazing. And everyone's like trying to have a fun time, but Carl's sitting on the sofa all quiet, like a little phone. And Lindsay is like trying to have fun and be nice to everybody,

but she's also like ignoring Carl. Like everybody, it's the tension, you know? There's a lot of tension. So then she's going outside and Carl's like, oh, I don't know, but the door for you. And she's like, oh my god, thanks. And then she goes outside and he slams the door behind her and everyone jumps and he's like,

did he just slam the door behind me? So she and Amanda are talking and Amanda's like, what starts all these arguments? And she's like, he's always questioning my alcohol intake. So if you're gonna question my alcohol intake, I can start questioning your intake of what you do. And Amanda's like, but you're talking about how he's doing drugs and you know,

we know that that's very sensitive with him. You can't use the word drugs around him. And Lindsay's like, yeah, but it's hypocritical. If he's gonna judge me for drinking alcohol, then why can't I question him smoking weed? I mean, I feel like the logic of that is tracks, but I think that ultimately it's just one of those things like, you know, words hit different people in different ways.

Like, you wouldn't say certain words to certain members of certain communities. And like, I don't words hit different people in different ways. Like, you wouldn't say certain words to certain members of certain communities. And like, I don't think I would say, what are you on? Are you high on something right now? Just someone who's more comfortable. Yeah, but you know what? I get it.

And I get it. And people are right. I think the logic is actually the logic. But you know what? People who are drinking also don't wanna hear, oh, you're fucking drunk. Because, or you're drinking, and I'm not gonna talk to you when you're drinking.

Because it invalidates everything you're feeling even if you've had a couple of drinks. I mean anybody who's had a couple of drinks and used to get in an argument with someone and they're like, oh, you're drunk. Like fuck you, like that's really how to enrage somebody with a couple of drinks. It only works if you're Lucille Blue.

What you're saying, your feelings are completely invalidated because you've had a couple of drinks. Yeah, well that's what I was saying before, which is that like Carl also needs to learn how to like to talk Lindsey down from the ledge. So, but I'm literally exhausted. Lindsay also should stop going out onto the ledge in the first place, by the way. So anyway, Amanda's Amanda's like, yeah, you keep, you know, you can't, that's a triggering

word. And Lindsay says, well, why can't ask about weed? And Amanda's like, well, it just seems to always come back to that. And Lindsay's like, but isn't that a little hypocritical? And Amanda's like, I get it. But like, it just, it seems like you're not always specifying weed. You're just sort of saying drugs. No, I was specific last night, I was very, very specific. I said, what are you high on? What drug is it on? Are you high on coke? Just kidding, are you high on weed?

So I was very specific. Right, because last week she was calling him Coking Carl. So this week she's like, okay, they don't like when I call them Coking Carl, so I'll call them, you know, Weed Willie or whatever. So now Carl's like, look at me, I'm just a fun guy. Look at Lindsay spinning out while I'm just fun,

funnily jumping into the pool. Ooh! He does like a pencil dive. He's like, the most Carl dive you could imagine, like Carl getting very stiff, turning himself into a board and just hopping into the pool. So then Carl comes over and Amanda and Lindsay are like, we love, we love you, now love you. So then there's like some small talk and stuff and then West is asking Carl what happens with Lindsay,

what happened with Lindsay? And he's like, oh, I slept down in the downstairs bedroom, guys. All right, guys, dog meeting, dog pound. Dog pound meeting, all right? I'm gonna be the dog floating on a swan right now. Okay, all right, let's talk about it, okay. Guys, we were like, oh, I'm gonna be the dog floating on a swan right now.

Okay, all right, let's talk about it, okay. Guys, we were already in the deep end, get it? Get it? That's where we were gathered. It's like the opposite of that song from Star is Born. It's like, I'm in the shallows, but the deep end version, get it? Okay, woof.

So when we wrapped up dinner, I was like, I'm just tired, I don't wanna go home, And it was like, great. And then we got in the lift and I'm like trying to talk to her and I'm very calm. And she's like, you're fighting with me. And then it ratchets up, it ratchets up. And then she starts swearing. And I'm like, please stop swearing.

And then she goes into the, what are you on? And I'm like, I'm sober as can be right now. And she's like, you're a liar. I'm not gonna lie. It's gonna make me cry a little bit hold on a second ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha And he's like, yeah, I worked really hard to get where I'm at. And like, now she's accusing me of being drugs. It's just like, really unfair and it really hurts. And it doesn't add up. And I was like, listen, there's been drinking tonight. Let's just discuss it tomorrow.

But then that drink is her. And so that goes south really quickly. So he tells us, look, I'm just trying to communicate, but I don't fucking drink and you've been drinking since noon. And right after Barry, she literally had a glass of wine, like three glasses of Rose before we even get to the house. That's bad.

That's terrible. That's terrible. That's terrible when your fiance is sober. That is horrible. So I think that this is clearly at this point, not even just a case of her drinking too much. She is, it seems like she's drinking to retaliate against him, you know? It's like, I mean, oh yeah, well, I'm fucking drinking bitch.

She's she's either drinking to retaliate or drinking to to medicate because either way, there is misery happening there. This is a deeply dysfunctional couple at this point. So like as much as I say, Carl knew what he was signing up for. It doesn't mean that it's okay for Lindsay to do this. This is terrible. She also knows what she signed up for. Exactly.

So he's like, she wants to see the old Carl? Fine, I'll drink 15 Lover Boys. And then he becomes littering Carl. He just throws a can in the yard. It's like, sir, you have to pick that up. Oh, Rosara. I was trying to play fetch with myself. West and Jesse both cross streams right in it,

keep it in the air. They're like, yeah. Yeah. Who keeps us near and along his brow. So now it's later in the afternoon, everyone's dancing in their rooms. A lot of people dance alone in this show. And then Carl and Lindsay are really frosty with each other in their room. And then Lindsay leaves. She's like, I think I want to get a glass of rosé.

And so she's pouring herself a glass of rosé and then more people dancing. And then Lindsay drinks it and pours a second glass of rosé. And so she's getting wasted before they go to this place called Cowfish. And she almost downs a whole bottle of rose and she's chugging it before they go out. So then we go to the car and Jesse's beatboxing, which is, you know, exciting, awkward. So then Sierra's like, oh, let's see who Jesse gets into a fight with today.

And he's like, Lindsay, I'm like, so team call right now. I mean, that boy needs some support. Am I right? Woof. Yeah. Carl's not okay. I mean, to work so hard on your sobriety and to have your significant other try to tear you down and accuse you of shit when you're actually doing the right thing is so offensive. True. So Jesse is like, he's like, basically said, he says that Lindsay accused Carl of being on drugs in last night. And Gabby's like, I've had a lot of friends get married

and I know the months leading up to the wedding are some of the toughest that you'll ever go through, but it's murky at best and extremely shitty at worst. So it accused someone who was sober that they could have compromised their sobriety. So she's gonna have to own up to that because that's like not okay. So then at the restaurant,

Sierra and Amand Amanda are talking about West and Sierra doesn't like that West is telling everybody that they kissed. She's like, yeah, I mean, it's like a total turnoff. And then Carl is talking to Kyle and he's like, well, I think Lindsay should say something because somebody should say something, it's old Lindsay. And he said, did Amanda tell you what happened?

And Kyle's like, no, I haven't had time to talk to her. Good shot, good shot. Sorry, we're playing corner at the same time. But I'll try and find out. So he goes to talk to them and then Kyle, so Kyle and Amanda have an update on their relationship and they're basically getting along.

And he's like, yeah, you know what? You're getting, we're getting along really well right now, so I think we should go to therapy. She's like, Kyle, I hear you drone on about your problems enough. Now we have to like sit in a room where you have to listen to them. Can't you just drone on about your problems

while I'm watching Love Island? Yeah, Kyle and Amanda do best when there's another couple that's falling apart. They like somehow like take that dying energy and it like refills their soul. So they're doing great. They're in a great place right now. Yeah, so she does not want to

and I don't really blame her, you know, because I do feel like Kyle is one of those people to use therapy. It's like, Amanda, this is how I feel. She's like, I know Kyle, you tell me, this is how I feel. She's like, I know, Kyle, you tell me every five minutes I feel. She knows she's just gonna get beat up on. So she's like, I don't,

just let me figure out your own shit. So now everyone's still drinking some more and Lindsay's sitting on the grass. So Carl like sort of hovers over her and then squats down. And he's like, so how's the grass? She goes, to be honest, it's comfier than squatting. So you are doing drugs.

What do you want drugs? Like why are you squatting like a coke head? Why are you asking me about grass, Carl? They sit down and have a talk and she's like, I want to hear your respect above last night. And he says, I'm not doing drugs since he, she says, um, I did not accuse you of doing drugs. I said, did you smoke weed? Well, you said, are you on something? And that's what he said. Yeah,

but you shut down at the restaurant. Like, you know that, right? He's like, Lindsay, I'm a guy who doesn't drink a guy who saw that, saw what I was doing all day. I'm like communicating to you that I'm like tired. I'm realized this. I've had a change of heart. Okay. And I don't think going out is best for me. And I said that and I don't think that invites you to needing me to explain more. So how long have we been together? And she was like, well, it wasn't very communicative, Carl. And I'm trying to get to the root of what's going on. it just becomes aggressive Carl and he's like that's so unfair, you're the one being aggressive. I mean we get to the left

and then you're swearing and you're raising your voice and then you start telling me I'm on something and she's like um okay so she just stops and looks at him and she's like oh okay so we're gonna change the narrative of what happened. That there's cameras on you fuck. I'm not changing the narrative I just like that's what happened. That's what I experienced. Yeah, but you acted like you're like the calmest human ever. I was like, no, I didn't say, I'm not saying I'm calm all the time, Lindsay.

No, but you are suggesting that you were totally calm and Lindsay's just yelling at you for no reason and going off on you just because she's drunk and you had nothing and you were just totally innocent, calm Carl. Although to be fair, it's not hard to envision that also. Like, that's kind of what I'm saying. But it's also not hard for me to envision him

being like, oh, so, but really the poke, poke, poke, poke, poke. Like she says, you know? Yeah. Like she says flat out, like he pokes me and then when I react, he acts like, oh my God, I'm so calm and look at her, she's going crazy. Yeah, I would love to see, I just, oh God, I'm so calm and look at her, she's going crazy.

Yeah, I would love to see, I just, God, I wish we could have seen it. So I could really have judged. Yeah, I was just busy at this point where it all happens off camera. So she's like, well, you're angry a lot and last night you were angry and we're talking about last night.

And he's like, no, now that's gaslighting because you got in the car, you were already angry with me because you didn't understand why I wanted to go home. And she's like, she's like, oh. He's like, I tried to be calm. He's like, I tried to be calm and I didn't yell and I didn't scream at you.

And then you said, are you on something? And she's like, yeah, like, did you smoke weed? And he's like, yeah, that's what you said. So why is that hurtful to you? Yeah, because she says, do you smoke weed? And he goes, yes. She goes, so why is it hurtful if I asked you if you smoked weed?

And he's like, because you're accusing me of being on drugs. And I'm like, you know I smoke weed, Lindsay. She goes, yeah, but then why would you be hurt by me asking? He goes, because I wasn't out last night at all. I was sober as a judge. So that's where, again, I'm like,

well, but if you do smoke weed, it's not weird for her to ask you if you smoke weed. Sorry. That's also a mind altering substance. So if you're allowed to be like, did you drink too much? I think she's allowed to say, did you smoke weed without you acting all holier than now about it? Right. From what I can gather, this fight was that Lindsay suspects that Carl wants to go home because he's mad about something.

And he's saying he's not mad about something. Although what we actually found out was that he was mad. He was mad that she was drinking all day. So, but he's saying, I'm not mad about something. But like, if he wasn't mad about something, theoretically in a perfect world, and I know easier said than done, but if he wasn't mad about something, he would say, I know that based off of past relationships you've been or past moments that my behavior makes it seem like I'm mad, but I love you so much. Don't worry, I'm not mad at you.

I'm so happy you're coming home with me. I'm like, I actually was, I thought I would have been happy for you to stay out and have a good time. I'm even more happy you came home with me. He could have just said, I think she just needs lots of reassurance, and he doesn't give her that.

Well, they're having problems and need to talk it out. Like they've been having problems all day. And so he's like, I'm gonna go home. She's like, what's wrong, Carl? What's wrong, Carl? What's wrong, Carl? I don't know, I don't know what's wrong. With his last one.

I know what happens. It all becomes about the drugs and the alcohol, which is way beyond that at this point. So she's like, so why is it okay for you to judge me for drinking, but not for me to ask if you smoked weed? And he's like, I said no, and I didn't smoke weed and you called me a liar.

And she's like, why are you screaming right now? And he's like, cause I'm upset, Lizzie. I don't treat you like that. This is their other pattern of, why are you screaming? Because I'm upset. Why are you screaming? cause I'm upset Lindsay, I'll treat you like that. This is their other pattern of why are you screaming? Because I'm upset. Why are you screaming? Cause I'm upset. Like that is what, so here's where we see Lindsay also now doing the gaslighting

because Carl was not screaming, but she's like, why are you screaming? Cause I think also this means that she's lost. He was getting pretty heated. I thought he was pretty heated. I don't know. I think this means that she has lost the argument cause she now has to be at the top of the water. Oh, I think he totally lost. And this is why, because he goes, because I'm upset. And she goes, um, you don't think you treated me this exact same way in that Uber? And he goes, it's a lift.

I know. I love that's just such a fucking guy fight thing to be. You were too drunk to remember what the specific brand was. Although I think that she used that same argument on Winter House two seasons ago when they tried to confront her about like the hookup with Austin. And it was like, you ordered McDonald's. She's like, it was Domino's or something like that.

Yeah. So he is so pissed now. So he's like, if you don't understand why, you're hurtful to me that we have a bigger problem. And she's like, if you can lower your fucking tone, then maybe I can understand. And he's like, oh, I'm upset. Am I allowed to be upset?

You're always upset. And she's like, take a fucking lap. And I think that's who wins. The person who stays calm at the end. And I agree that Lindsay pushes him until he loses it. And then she's like, why are you yelling? You just made him yell. You literally just made him yell.

But at the same time, she's the one who's like, okay, take a lap now. You've lost your temper. Yeah. Yeah, and then so she's like, I knew you were not, this is like, I knew you weren't ready for this conversation. I knew you were too angry this is like, I knew you weren't ready for this conversation. I knew you were too angry. So she storms off.

But I mean, it's clear these two people cannot be in a relationship because he should not be with someone who is getting wasted and also throwing his sobriety in his face, basically. And she needs to be with someone who can like reassure her and be honest with what he really wants in life. Yeah. Well, well.

Luckily it all works out. So Lindsay goes- You just need to leave me out of it, you know what I mean? Lindsay goes up- This is too much for me. Lindsay goes up to Danielle and is like, she just screams at me constantly, screaming, screaming.

I mean, he was not screaming, okay. So she's like, no, they're too angry. So she's painting the picture of him as this screaming lunatic that he really wasn't. So Danielle's like, I'm gonna excuse myself. Kids got in the middle, can't be in the middle. So, okay, let me see here. This is so much couple fighting, I can't.

So then Kyle is, Kyle's talking to Lindsay about it and he's like, come on, he was just saying that he was trying to Lindsay about it. And he's like, come on, he was just saying that he was trying to defuse the situation. And Lindsay's like, oh, really? So that's what he told you, right? And he's like, I'm not choosing sides, Lindsay. Which is a lie. He always totally is anti team crazy Lindsay, you know? And so she's like, yes, you are. Cause you're coming at me like you're on his side. And he's like, you're more vocal than Carl. Trust me, I understand where you sit because like you make it own, okay.

So now they're heading back to the house and Gabby is like, okay, we need to figure out, like you guys need to figure out how to communicate or whatever. And she's like, I think what I'm hearing is that Carl feels like he's unheard. And so Lindsay's like, Gabby, really? Now you're gonna stand up for Carl? Yeah And so Lindsay's like, Gabby, really? Now you're going to stand up for Carl?

Yeah. Gabby's like, well, did you say that he wasn't sober last night? She goes, well, I said, if you want to judge me for drinking alcohol, what did you do? Did you smoke weed? Which I don't think that's what she had said, but that's now, I think she's found her angle. So that's what she's saying.

So Carl pokes his head into the room that they're in and Lindsay's like, so she goes into the bathroom and closes the door. He's like, Lindsay, sorry. Then he just leaves. And then she comes out of the bathroom. What are you saying? She's like, Gabby's like, he said he's sorry. I can't I can't. So Gabby is like, listen, I'm not saying anything's your fault. But you guys need to learn communication communication and you need to communicate that you understand his feelings." And she's like, oh, so it's all on me now, right? It's all on me. Yeah. She's like, no, I don't think it's your fault. Just like, you know, it's your like, what is your responsibility is know your partner and know how to effectively communicate with him in a way that he's going to understand, which is 100% true. Gabby is 100% right. It goes for both of them, by the way, but it also goes for Lindsay.

As much as I'm coming down on Karl, it goes for Lindsay too. And Lindsay's like, everything is always on me. Everything in this entire relationship is always on me and no one takes the time to under-fucking-stand what it is, what it feels like to be constantly judged. Which is classic Lindsay Hubbard. Yeah, it is, but I think, you know, I said it to a commenter last week, like, Lindsay is more crazy out loud and Carl is more underhanded in his crazy. And so I think it's easy to look

at this and be like, Lindsay is completely 100% in the wrong because all these things she's saying is she's clearly so pissed off. Well, you know, I think like we're slowly starting to uncover the things she's pissed off about and she just deals with it in a very different way. She's not fake. She doesn't have that manipulation part of her. She just says whatever. She can't help herself, you know?

Whereas I think Karl can be like, I'm gonna look like the asshole in the situation, so I'm just gonna be quiet and let Lindsay scream and yell and act crazy. I think Lindsay has said and done some extremely vile, terrible things that if I were in a relationship with her, I would definitely leave that relationship. But I think where I get more frustrated though, is with Carl, because I feel like

Carl, uh, acts like he has, does not contribute to this toxic situation whatsoever. And the truth is that the way Lindsay act acted in this episode and last episode is the way that she's acted all the way to season one with Everett. I remember like there was a birthday party or something like that. They got into a big fight. She has her own insecurities. She probably shouldn't be drinking herself, but like this is who Carl also decided that like, Oh, I'm going to accept this person for who she is. And this is who she is, unfortunately for him. So Lindsay is frustrated.

So she walks, the episode ends with her walking out the driveway and she walks down to the front gate and won't open. So she like squeezes herself through the iron bars and it's like, I can't fucking track it. And then she just goes walking down the road off into oblivion. Yeah. And that brings us to the end of Summerhausen. I just, I wish we didn't have to wait all season for these two to break up,

because this is gonna be a lot. I love it. I love dissecting this. This is so, I'm so into it. I'm into it. I love it. You're shell shocked. So,

Like, uh. Uh. He's ready for a nap. So, uh, he's ready for a nap. I'm like, it's exhausting. It's just like, to me, it's just exhausting. I mean, I like the show and everything. I'm just exhausted. But you know what? We knew the second that Lindsay and Carl were like,

we're going to get married. That it was going to be this. I don't think anybody in their right mind who's watched this show all this time really thought it was not gonna end up like this. Of course it's gonna end up like this. It always ends up like this with Lindsay and it always ends up like this with Karl and his relationships.

They're both complete fuck-ups. So of course they're gonna come in here and just be a disaster. Of course they are, but it's still exhausting because you're watching a show and you have to kind of take sides in a way. And honestly, like it seemed no one at the end of the day, I'm only standing up for Lindsay so much

because I think that he's getting away completely scot-free and everyone's just acting like, oh, Lindsay comes from this place of being crazy for no reason. And I just don't buy it. I don't buy that at all. So I'm sticking up for her, but it's also like I'm, feel like I'm forced to stick up

for Lindsay when she's fucking nuts too. Like you can't stand up for Lindsay, she's terrible. So I don't know. She is terrible. And all the people that have always praised her for being, but she's crazy and we wouldn't have a TV show without her. And then all of a sudden they're like, how terrible she is. It's like, you know what?

If you're gonna stand for Lindsay, you gotta stand for her all the way, I guess, you know? But, um, I, uh, yeah, I think that Carl, I think that, I think that Carl is not honest with his intentions and I don't think that's fair. I think that Lindsay is a disaster too, but I think that Carl is not honest with his intentions and it's like's like what you said, he's not getting called out for it. And we need to make sure everyone gets called out properly. Okay, we have an obligation. Everyone must be called out properly on a TV show.

And that's what we're here to do. Well, now it's time for the weekend. Let's go. Okay, so this show's over. I'm gonna go take a nap. Everybody, thank you so much for being here. Come watch a video on Crappin's On Demand and find our bonus episodes on Patreon.

And get tickets for the Netflix Is a Joke Comedy Festival and our European tour in May over at watchwhatcrappins.com and we'll talk to you next time. Bye everybody. Bye. Watch What Crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee The Green Fairy, Jamie, she has no less name-y! Hava Nagila Webber! Know your worth with Jason Kurtz!

She's the win beneath our Jennifer Wing! Zip some scotch with Jessica Trotch! She's always supplying, it's Kelly Ryan! Kristen The Piston Anderson! Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino! Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg! The Bay Area Betches, Betches. And our super premium sponsors.

Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy M.D. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neil. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch. She's a little bit loony.

Junie. My favorite Murdo. Karen McMurdo. We love him madly, it's Kyle Podchadley. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. We wanna hang with Liz Lang. The incredible, edible Matthew Sisters. Give him hell, Miss Noelle.

She's the queen bee, it's Sarah Lemke or Crappen's ad free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen ad free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.