Watch What Crappens - #2366 RHOP, Part 2: Mama Mia!

Episode Date: March 25, 2024

Welcome back to part 2 of our Real Housewives of Potomac recap (S08E18). The season finale ends with a wild scene from Mia and Gordon. We’re still processing! Grab tickets for the Netflix is a Joke Fest in LA and our European tour at watchwhatcrappens.com Watch this recap as a video and get our bonus episodes at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're wondering where part one was, well go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe so that you always get your episodes. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're wondering where part one was, we'll go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe. So that way you always get your episodes. But enough of that, let's get right back into the episode. Well, let me tell you what Candice should have grabbed instead of a champagne bottle to hit somebody with. A frozen Milky Way.

Because those things pack, they pack it. Okay, so now the conversation moves over to, Charisse basically is tattling on Candace, right? She's like, she got the champagne bottle, but I saved her and I stopped her. And then Cal's like, wait a minute, fucking Cal. We know why you're here, agent of Giselle, okay, Cal? Untrustworthy Cal, in this conversation at least.

He's like, well, why would she grab the bottle? It doesn't fucking matter, Cal, she didn't use the bottle. Okay, so stop getting so excited that you have evidence to take to your queen. Well, and so Sharice is like, well, that was her reaction when the girl did you do the drink. So I think somebody stomped on my toe or something because my freshly polished toes have, you know, some scuff on it. So the real victim here,

Sharice's pedicure. Yeah, Sharice is like, I'm not here to tattletale. I'm here to talk about my nail getting scratched. I'm starting a GoFundMe for my big toe. Thank you very much. And Giselle's like, well, this is left to stain on GNA. GNA is a stain. Talking about. Yeah, I don't. A GNA that still has nothing up on the website except a pair of socks and some

Mackenzie's child Christmas decorations. Stain. GNA. I'm not sure this is really. I'll tell you what left the stain on GNA. The G and the A. It's like, oh, here's a brand. Oh, it's by Giselle and Ashley, nevermind. So she's like, we've been working on G and A for so long. Yes, you guys are really like Steve Jobs in the garage. Yes. So Cameron goes, it angers me.

And Ashley says, I agree. And I'm so thankful that we had a great show and what Deborah tells me is that while she was sitting there, she could hear Candace and Wendy talking about her. So she got up and was like, you're talking about me. So she's just trying to basically blame this whole fight on Candace and Wendy. Candace and Wendy have a right to talk shit

as much as anyone else does on this party and in this cast. They're allowed to say whatever they want. It's called using your words, Ashley, okay? And she's like, yeah, but she was calling her the vermin and the help. I mean, it's not nice. I mean, what do you want? Like, she doesn't get hugs for it, but so what?

The lady started with her. And so just I was like, it's the mouth. It's the mouth, it's the mouth, it's the mouth, ah! And Ashley's saying, yeah, well, when Candace put her hand up like that, Debra threw it in her hair because she was giving her the no hand,

so she threw a drink at her. So is this supposed to be justifying anything? This is not working out the way you think it is. And then Cal's saying, well, who was there to protect Kay when all these things happened with Candace and Wendy? And Charisse is like, listen, it just went so fast and I'm holding onto Candace and, you know, Candace didn't go anywhere because I was holding onto her.

And then Cal says, if Candace was talking about Deborah and calling names, then you should be able to deal with what happens after. Oh, really? Really Cal? So she should be able to deal with physical assault. Have you talked to Giselle about that? Who showed up with a fucking bodyguard after the last time there was any sort of physical altercation? Be quiet, Cal. Yeah. Um, I'm not sure. I, I'm not sure. I think actually in this situation, Cal is trying to defend Kierna because Kierna was Cal's

friend. And so he's like, I don't know, I think that he's taking a stance. That's like not the strongest here. So I think he's trying to say that Candice shouldn't be surprised that she caused a fight with words is what it sounds like to me. He's saying like, I mean, this has these words and she should be prepared to deal with the physical stuff that comes after. So that's bullshit. And if that was the case,

Giselle could be punched 30 times a season because she's really fucking low and nasty with people. I mean, look, I'm not going to lie. Candice, Candice does, she goes in on people and then she's always surprised when they have reactions and it's not to blame the victim. But like the, the truth is that like, you know, there is such a thing as instigating. Um, I don't think this is that, that's what happened in this situation though. I think that you could look at other situations and you could probably make an

argument, but I don't think in this situation. So, uh, now Mia comes down the stairs with, um, two of Gordon's kids and a third child of unknown origin. And, uh, she's, you know, it took me a couple of days to recover mentally but I'm glad that we are able to come together and do something really impactful. Yes I love Harry. I'm so glad they're doing something impactful like posing in a local magazine as Rykerri. Changing the world one photo shoot at a time. Seriously, the oceans just went down an inch. That is her kid, right?

The third kid. No, of course, they're all her kids. The question is, are they all Gordon's kids? Oh, I was gonna say, I don't pay much attention to the kids on this show. I remember the two younger ones, but not the third older one. But I guess that just goes to show you

how much I pay attention to. It's a plot point a little bit later. Oh. So then, I took notes on this, but I'm still like, wow. Actually, I guess I didn't. So then Mia comes down the stairs with her kids. Yeah, okay, you already said that. Okay, so a lot of small talk about how great she is, and she's really showing her kids

that you can make a difference in this world by just putting on a pretty dress and getting someone to take your picture. Just sweet. And then Gordon talks to, I don't know, Robin arrives, people are coming. Robin doesn't see anything. People still coming down that staircase.

Should we just skip to the end? What happens? Okay, I'm gonna think of a pop quiz. What happens of note? Okay, well, let's see. So they're coming down the stairs, Robin comes in, she's like, I didn't see anything. So this was note, I enjoyed this.

Candice's sister goes up to Ashley and is basically like, do this one more fucking time and I'm like you're gonna have to deal with me she's like um yeah so uh you're not bringing your friend around are you again are you and as she does this whole thing of like yeah no I'm upset with her and like the last thing I ever wanted was to see two people I know and care about ever get into a fight, especially at my event. Oh my goodness. And yeah. Um, and you know, one thing that people have been pointing out online is that Ashley is playing the like, I didn't even really see what happened. But when you look at the video, Ashley is right in the middle trying to break it up. So she was right there.

Um, but, uh, but yeah, Crystal's like, no good. So now Crystal, I mean, Candice arrives next and, uh, she's like, well, we had successfully made it through the Sears fashion show. We had made it through the Sears fashion show and I had partaken in all the, all the festivities and out of nowhere I look and oh my god it's Cookie Monster and it says, do you have something you want to say to me? And I said, I don't speak to you. All of a sudden the thing is lunging at me.

Before I can even figure out what to do next, Kierna is fighting with it and I don't even know how it got there. It literally happened so fast and somehow it's all gonna be my fault. Yeah. So then, let's see. So then Wendy comes and she's like, this event today feels so, so heavy because of what happened.

It's okay, so heavy. Okay, Wendy, she's like literally everybody else is fine. They're all acting like they've had more than two conversations with Kiernan They're all like a poor Kierna poor poor Kiernan and just after she'd gotten over her diarrhea Yeah, one of my biggest regrets Happened to my friend after she had trouble with diarrhea the season. It's very very heavy this event Okay, and she goes, we just... I love that Wendy's always over-dramatizing hospital visits.

She goes, you know, I just don't know how we can kiki and ha ha, when most of us just came home from a hospital at 4 a.m. just a few days ago. Oh, really? So going to a hospital four days ago to see somebody else who's fine. She did not lose an arm. She did not lose. Oh, really? So going to a hospital four days ago to see somebody else who's fine. She did not lose an arm.

She did not lose an arm, okay. So Karen says, well, you know what? Deborah is actually mad with the wrong person. What she needs to be mad at was with herself because she said that Chris was flirting with her and her watch and we watched it and he was not. I'm like, you know, I'm not going to give Deborah really any credit for anything, but I will say, I think Deborah, if Deborah is going to be mad at anyone,

she is mad at the right person because Candace has gone on and called her a Muppet on TV. And now we all call this woman a Muppet. So I think if she's going to be mad, like, yeah, I think she's mad at the right person. We've called Austin a Muppet for years. Listen, we've called, we were the, we coined Austin as a Muppet. You used to post pictures of him as Fozzie bear. And then someone on Southern charm picked up on it. And now everybody in the world calls him muppet. Do you need to get punched in the face next time somebody sees you out? No, no, I'm not saying that any of this was deserved, but I'm just saying Karen's logic, like, oh, she's mad at the

wrong person. I'm like, no, I think, is her, does she deserve to be this mad or should she have started a fight? No, but if she is gonna be mad, I think Candice is the one she would be mad at. She chose the right person. She was aiming, her aim was bad, but she was trying to be the right person. She didn't use that anger in a productive or good way,

but you know. Okay, yeah, I see. So then Candice has a good read. She's like, no, I mean, she's gonna be mad at me because that's how she elevates herself and gets herself a job on TV. Exactly. Duh.

And so Wendy's like, I have a lot of questions for Ashwee. Oh, good, do we get to do it for your fucking YouTube show? Here's the thing about Wendy, okay? I used to really like Wendy. Wendy is just, this is a criticism I've had, I think for the whole season and not just Wendy, but especially Wendy, you're just not fun.

This is, you're just not fun. You're just not fun. It's not fun, Shade. It's just, and then in the end, when all this stuff is happening with Mia and Gordon and Mia's just sitting there laughing at the camera, it's just, it's just like a not fun. It's just a gross energy.

I don't like it. I don't go for it. And I keep checking the Instagram to see if Wendy is next on the announcement train. Well, I can't help but feel that, I mean, it sucks for Kierna. She got 12 stitches or whatever. That sucks.

It's so not right. It's fucked up. Debra is 100% wrong. 100% wrong in this situation. And- Uh-oh. Did I just turn on Pornhub? Because I have a sense of butt coming. No, no, there's no butt.

Oh. That's funny though. Like a butt was here. That was a funny little phrase. Oh, we can't even get Pornhub in Texas now. Thanks a lot, Texas. You're really just killing it over here. Really, they blocked Pornhub?

They passed some stupid law, so now all the porn sites are shutting down in Texas. So- Texas passed some law where they can sue you because your kids saw porn or something. I thought the right wing was all about free speech these days. So about paid porn, I'll tell you that much. So anyway, what I was going to say is,

it's terrible what happened to Kierna. The cast members like Wendy is truly acting like Kierna lost all her limbs and, you know, has been in a coma for four months. And so it's like, it sucks up in the Kierna, but also like, I guarantee like you go home and then you just, you start to move on your life. You're like, okay, she's better. Great. You know, like, and honestly, I feel like on a different franchise, we might see people being like, can you believe what happened to Kina? That is wild. Oh my God, that fight.

And I feel like what happens with these fights is especially on this show, the fights get used as leverage against other cast members to either prove points, maybe try to get them off the show. So because of that, they have to like impart a huge amount of like seriousness to what happened. And I mean, obviously, violence and fighting is not good. It's not the answer. And it is serious. Like someone really could have gotten hurt and everything. And I'm also keenly aware that there are a lot of other issues that circle around a fight on this show versus a fight on like the real world, right?

Like there's different stuff that goes on, stuff that has to do with our society and yada, yada, yada. But what I am also adding is that I do feel like Wendy coming in and saying like, I just feel like there's a heaviness in the air is also maybe- You are the heaviness in the air. You are literally the smog.

It's like, I think it's like leaning into that a bit to sort of weaponize the fight against your, you know, who you want to get off the show. And I'm not saying it's not just Wendy, it's everyone's doing it. Everyone wants to sort of be like, oh, this was such a serious, terrible thing, which is why so-and-so should be fired, right?

I feel like that's what the vibe is. Yeah, but also it's just already happened on this show, so it's not as impactful. You know what I mean? It's happened and it's happened with people that we actually care about as an audience, not Deborah and some new girl. You know what I mean?

So like, sorry, it's just not gonna land the same. And Wendy, this is just not gonna land the same. And Wendy, this is just not an opportunity for you to have a summit where we all need to listen to you lecture the cast, you know what I mean? Which you know it's gonna turn into, and it's not just Wendy, it's Karen too.

But at least Karen does it in a fun way. That's the difference. Karen fun, Wendy not fun. What can I tell you? Karen is a fence. Wendy is not a fence, okay? So Nneka and I come in next. Let's see here.

So Nneka arrives. I'm not even making any sense at this point. Nneka arrives and she asks, she's like, Shasha, what happened to your foot? She goes, oh, it's from the other night. I was trying to break up some stuff and I got pushed aside to the couch and by the time I got up from the couch,

they were on the floor and the point is this, if you'd like to donate to the GoFundMe for my big toe, you can go to www.saveshashastoenail.com. Thank you. Zzzz. Vampines. Zzzz. Now they are talking about how Robin checked on Kay because she's such a good person. And then Sharice pulls Candice aside

and she's like, listen, that was mayhem. You're better than that, Candice. She goes, yes, yes I am. She's like, but really, for her? Come on, Candice, you're so talented. And we've had this conversation a thousand times. Thankfully, next time we have it, it's gonna be on circular chairs in the champagne room.

Now, what were you gonna do with that bottle? Sorry, go ahead, Ben. What were you gonna do with that bottle, and how comfortable are you on a hoverboard? Do you think you could still hold a champagne bottle while on a hoverboard? I need to know for production for upcoming podcast episode. And Candice is like, well, if she had come after me, I needed to protect myself.

So I had the champagne bottle. And she's like, yeah, but you would have gone to jail because that's illegal. Because Candice is like, why did she touch me first? And she's like, so what are you going to? I mean, come on. So then you still would have been in jail. It still would have been a bad luck for your music career.

Well, yeah, to pop somebody over the head with a champagne bottle. So Candice Ashley is like, you know, when Candice picked up that bottle, it surprised me because, you know, I mean, Candice is not going to do it, right? But I don't, I don't think she's going to do anything. But at the same time, here comes Ashley. Here she comes guys.

In case you were worried she wasn't clacking in. She's like, but at the same time, here comes Ashley. Here she comes, guys, in case you were worried she wasn't clacking in. She's like, but at the same time, it's not really a good look for you to have a champagne bottle in your hand. Like, oh my gosh, come on. Like, it looks like you're gonna do something. And you know, it's the second time with her.

It's not like it's the first time. Here she comes. I knew she was gonna come. And then you wait. It's also the second time for Deborah. Second time for Deborah being a disaster. Ashley, if you're so concerned about people not thinking through their actions,

maybe you should look at yourself and who you invite to parties. Right, or the fact that you had a second child with Michael. When all else fails, remember who you've had sex with. You want to talk about doing stupid things twice. There's one. I know. So Candace is like, well, thank you

for your motherly instincts, which is my very polite way of saying, um, you're older than me. So stop making stop passing judgment on my champagne bottle. Sorry about your foot. I hope you get pampered for the next six months. Yeah. And she's like, please don't tell my mom I broke your foot. Thanks. So then, um, NECA saying hi now NECA saying hi to people because still saying hi on the show. And Still saying hi.

And now the grand dom. Karen's like, everyone blues come over to the table. We need to discuss things. Fence, the fence is calling for summit. So they, they come over and she's like, Ashley, thank you for walking over here. And shasha, thank you for limping over here. And Wendy's like, okay, I you for walking over here. And Shasha, thank you for limping over here. And Wendy's like, okay, I'll even say this. Thank you both for coming over.

Which by the way, the way that they were so appreciative that they came over to the table, it makes me wonder just how divided is this cast? I mean, they're acting like it's shocking that they all stood around a table together. Like, are they really so separated when they're shooting that this is like, is it, is it a situation where the only time we see them all together a lot, is it that the producers are like, you guys must shoot together.

And when the producers are not saying that they just go into their own corners because their reaction is they're like so impressed that they all just like stood around the high top. Makes me realize, makes me, makes me think that this cast is far more divided than we even realized. They're pretty divided. I mean, it's been, it's been rough, but yeah, now's the everybody must apologize. And I think this is what they were trying. They were trying to recreate that meeting they had after the Monique issue, the Monique and Candice issue.

And they're trying to recreate that. It just doesn't have the same gravity and no one needs to like sit there and be lectured, but they try it. And Ashley, to her credit, because Ashley is a mess and she did start all this and does it all the time, but Ashley to her credit really didn't try

to justify anything. She was just like, mm-hmm, sorry, I didn't mean to put you in danger. I did put you in danger. That was not cool of me. I shouldn't have had her there. And I'm sorry. She didn't start with the whole,

but Candace, your mouth, and Candace, you need to realize, I'm gonna write a witness statement for Deborah. It was none of that, which, to her credit, because she could have gone that way. And Wendy's like, well, I don't think any of us should be held accountable for what I've went through. However, Candice did say, get away from me and I'll give credits to myself and Kay and Nneka, who came a while from the table and said, let's not do this here. Thank you, we are all credited, we are good people.

And Ashley's like, okay, well in hindsight, I wouldn't have invited Debra, because now I know that she's gonna fucking try to beat somebody up. But you know, by the way, I was just thinking about what you were saying about how this meeting did not have gravitas for you. And it didn't for me either, but I'm not sure

that it was actually intended to have gravitas. I think this was basically Karen's way of saying, okay, everyone, we're not like, we're not allowing randoms into this group like this. Okay. Like if you have an issue, like, you know what, like these, like the scraps, the, the, the wannabes, the, we're not allowing that. Okay. So this ends here. So I think that when it was with Monique, there was a discussion about like, we have an image to uphold or we've come so far and it got at the whole respectability politics,

which is, you know, it was a whole thing. And I think this one was more like, yeah, not doing this again. Okay, we gotta stop these extras. Well, to that, I would say you're correct, but they're called friends of, and they were brought in because this has been a dire season and they needed something in the season finale, which if I need a producer to come in and lecture all of your asses about that,

because you all caused this by doing nothing all season. Also, the past, like, 30 minutes of airtime really could have been substituted for NECA just saying this, because I think NECA just lays it out perfectly. And it's like, this is all that needs to be said in my mind where she says, I feel like Ashley is well, I wouldn't say this part, not the ashes, not to blame. I think actually is to blame too. But she goes, I feel like Deborah is dead ass wrong for throwing a drink at all.

And I also think she was wrong for getting up and going over there. She should have stayed with her friends, had a good time, and what would have upset them even more was her ignoring them and being a bad bitch. And that's true. That's really like if they were talking shit about her, Debra should have just been a bad bitch and that would have driven Candace and Lenny nuts, but she lost. Deborah, you lost. Yeah. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappins commercial. If you don't know when Crystal Pepsi was discontinued, what was in Al Capone's vault,

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and ad free on Wondry+. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Wondry Kids Plus on Apple podcasts today. So then Mia gives kind of her speech. You know, basically this is everybody's like, okay, we agree. Ashley apologizes and apologizes and apologizes and apologizes and they let it go. And they're like, we are women.

This is a sisterhood and we are sisters they let it go. And they're like, we are women, this is a sisterhood and we are sisters in a sisterhood. And she just, you know, does all of Dr. Simone's lines from Mary to Medicine over and over, which by the way also had its final reunion. And it was literally three hours of Simone going, we are a sisterhood of sisters, I want my take. And she would like lay into somebody. She would lay into somebody. We are a sisterhood of sisters. I won't lie to you.

And then she would like lay into somebody. She would lay into somebody. And then the next few minutes go, this is a sisterhood. I was like, well, which is it? For Christ's sake. But anyway, sorry. She does all Simone's lines.

And then Mia gives a speech. She's like, thank you everybody for coming to celebrate this iconic moment with us. I can't believe I was only introduced to Will three short months ago and look how far we've come now. Giant pictures, giant pictures everybody. So she gives a speech and there's this like gentle, nice jazz music playing and she's thanks everyone and she's like, I just like want to do something that was impactful.

So I thought let's dress Robin up like Mariah Carey and we did it. Yay, Joe. We did it, Joe. So as she's telling, as she's saying this and she's like complimenting the Joe, we did it, Joe. So as she's telling, as she's saying this and she's like complimenting the women, we get our end, like the ending, the season ending updates, you know? And what was weird was that she was giving her speech

and then we'd see like a freeze frame of the icon that they were representing in their photo. And then on the right side of the screen would be sort of them slow-mo smiling and like- So weird. Like sort of like mugging for the camera. So we have, you know, Candice. Candice has been recording new music

and plans to shop it to her major label, but she's still focusing on heating up her career before she takes her embryos off of ice. And then Wendy. Wendy has self-released her talk show, The Dr. Wendy Show on her YouTube channel, and she's hoping that this new venture is the one that finally sticks.

Robin signed a lease for Glow30. And Karen is renovating the Surrey house for history. It's a historical home, or possibly a completely new structure. So that'd be a pool, maybe a mailbox. We don't know. Tourism. So then we, so now this music is like playing like, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

And Gisele's smiling and it's like, Gisele officially launched her GNA clothing line with Ashley. Sadly, her father, Curtis passed away shortly after his surgery. I was like, you can't just drop that in the middle of this happy Giselle smiling montage and then we just move on to, oh, NECA's IUI procedure was unsuccessful. That's like, I don't know.

It just represents the tonal inconsistency of it all to me just represented. Well, the was like, it just, the tonal inconsistency of it all, to me, just represented. Well, the whole thing of them just doing that, like, slow motion modeling into the camera and twirling around was just so low-budge and weird. It was weird. And then Ashley is still dating, but they're not divorced yet.

So then Gordon, of course, can't just let his wife have a fucking moment, dude. I mean, my guy, he's like, uh, I also have to speak. Here's what I have to say. Damn Gordon. He's like, thanks for supporting my wife. She's a real role model, isn't she guys? And then she's, he said she's a real role model. And then the screen freezes and in the corner they show like a little cut out or a bubble

almost of Mia welcoming everyone to the joint and then he's like she's an absolutely wonderful mother like they show another thing it was like such janky editing it was like which intern did they allow to control the show i'm like why what is happening with this show it is it not only I'm like, why? What is happening with this show? It is it not only has presented storylines poorly. It is now actually just presenting our actual visuals poorly. It was I think, is this trying to be funny? Is it trying to be thoughtful? What is it trying to do in this moment?

Why has this show gone so far off the rails? I don't know. But then the season ends. But did it? Mia and Gordon scanned the cameras big back up again. So Scandami. Scandami. Yeah, the Mia of all. Scandorten. So after 11 years of marriage, Gordon and Mia split. So Mia's in her confessional saying, I'm sorry, I'm just, it's a lot.

It's a lot to talk about right now. Doing her fake tears, pretending like she's actually emotional about this. Yeah. And we see who's really going through it is Gordon. And we know because he's very upset when he accepts his DoorDash delivery. So he gets a DoorDash and he's like,

are we good to the DoorDash guy? Which I was like, well, how poor Gordon. Don't take it out on the DoorDash guy, you know? But I like that he just wants a validation from whoever just brought him his Wendy's. He's like, are we good? Are you leaving me too? Go! Go ahead, get on the elevator!

I don't fucking care anymore! I like Aunt Gordon. It's the Wendy's guy. Give him a fucking brain turn. NECA tells a story about how Gordon reached out in a group text that the men had and said he was trying to get in contact with their wives to tell them about the stuff that's going on with Mia. But like everyone was like, what are you talking about Gordon? And then our call occurred. Eddie and Wendy are doing a confessional. This is when Wendy's kind of smirking about

it. And I'm like, you know, I get that you don't like her, but geez, can you, like, for two seconds, Jesus Christ. And we're seeing footage like this is 48 hours or Dateline. It's like we see a footage of like a cell phone on a table that's receiving like a FaceTime call. And Eddie's kind of hinting at what this is about, but nobody actually just says it, which is, you know, a problem, because this is a TV show and I don't need your hints.

I need you to tell me what the fuck the tech said. What is the text? The text came in and it suggested that he was trying to frame Mia. Was he trying to frame her? Was she trying to get information on her to use against her in court? What was he doing? Because that's what they're hinting at, but they don't actually say it. Because they don't realize just how messy Gordon and Mia are. They're actually trying to be like somewhat discreet out of respect for their family or whatever, not realizing that Gordon and Mia are about to shoot a scene where they just put everything out on the table. Right. So that's basically what happened. So we start talking about what happened.

Mia says that what really started this was when Gordon saw the season eight trailer, which featured Mia, which featured Ashley saying, are you married to your husband for money? And Mia saying, well, maybe. And that's when Gordon. Who would have thought? That was literally the worst trailer that has ever come out for Real Housewives.

And I was like, this is such a terrible trailer. Who'd have thought? The only person that got a rise out of was Gordon. No. It was actually the most productive trailer of all. Remember they were walking past the parachute sheets in slow motion? Never forget that trailer.

We were like, what the fuck? What are they in the outdoor mall slow motion dressed to the nines? That was the craziest trailer. It was like a the fuck were they in the outdoor mall, slow motion dressed to the nines. That was the craziest trailer. It was like a fake TV sitcom trailer. It like nothing made sense. It didn't show anything interesting happening in the season, which now makes sense.

Cause nothing did happen. That was interesting. But I was like, what is this? But lo and behold, it moved the needle for one person. Gordon. So, yeah. So they talk about this stuff. Basically she says that really set him off. And this is where I just loved all this

because Mia did not try to hide anything the whole season. You know, she's like, yeah, basically fucked the guy for it. But also Gordon, why are you so surprised that she married you for her money? You were paying her $10,000 an hour for her time. And what is she supposed to be attracted to you, Gordon? Is it your nuts, dragon on the ground? What do you think it is about a 70 something year old man

or 60 something at that time that just you think that, man, this is the thing with men, to have the confidence of a straight male, you know? He's beautiful, it's a beautiful thing to behold. I'm sorry, I'll stop talking. No, I was gonna say, he really thought that she fell in love with him for, um, his, uh, chiropractic administrative administration skills. And, uh, you know, I think that he didn't realize it was because of that sweet,

sweet, sweet joint franchise money that he had. So then, um, now we're in the kitchen again, and she's like, so are we gonna talk about this, Gordon? Or are you just gonna keep taking this out on Wendy's delivery people? Okay? How long do I have to sleep in Juju's room? Okay?

When are you going back to Charlotte? And he goes, well, if you don't want me here, then you could just say you don't want me here and I'll just go back to Charlotte. But you said you wanted me here to take care of the kids. So here I am taking care of the kids. So here I am taking care of the kids. But if you have a way to get the kids childcare,

that would be great, just let me know. Like, oh, you tell her, Gordon. It's like, you listen here. I'm only here to do your babysitting. Not that it's babysitting when they're your kids. I've just never heard a husband be like, oh really? Well, I'm just here to take care of the kids and then I'll be gone whenever you'd like.

So then he's like, yeah, he's like, you asked for this and I don't think you thought this through well enough to think about all the unintended consequences like having to sleep in Juju's room. So this is one of them and I've known, by the way, and I've known you've been having an affair for 10 years or longer and I know you had an affair just before we got married. You tell me how it looks to a married woman going to live with a single man in a five bedroom. So ha, sleep in Judy's room. So that's all he cares about this

guy's this guy's a piece of fucking work. By the way, I know that Mia is wrong here. But still, this guy's known they have a relationship, they have an open relationship. And now he's going to yell at her for all of this cause she got caught in public or whatever. Well, I think it's more like I've been incredibly flexible with you. I've, I've looked the other way. You can have, like, you can, you know, get some booty with someone else and that's fine, but then you're going to just like go onto TV and just kind of like talk,

like talk shit about me. Like, no, no, no, no. Like I've been so generous with you. Look, I even let you sleep in the master bedroom once in a while. But, um, yeah, he's, I don't think that Mia is an angel in the situation at all. No, I don't either. And look, I'm saying Mia's wrong, but it's still just, what cracks me up is just the arrogance of the guy. Also, he should just maybe like, rather than displace the mother of your children into your child's room, just hire a nanny

and don't come all the way up from Charlotte. I don't know. So- They'll get married when they met. I think so. I don't know. You know, Mia's stories are so slippery because again, she just lies. So it's hard to really remember everything, but I'm pretty sure he was married to the joint.

Um, he was married to a spine and brochures. So yeah, he's like, you tell me how it looks, a married woman going to live with a single man in a five bedroom apartment. She goes, he wasn't, I wasn't living with him. He's like, bullshit, the kids told me. She goes, yeah, well, he wasn't even there half the time.

He works in 17 different cities, like always on the road. 17 different cities. You're taking your kids over there to live with, oh my God, this is so bad. Cause of course I want to keep standing up for me and then it just gets worse. So she's like, he's like, well, the kids were telling me and they're saying you're sleeping with him and you're saying you're not sleeping with him. And Jeremiah even said, he's like, well, the kids were telling me and they're saying you're sleeping with him

and you're saying you're not sleeping with him. And Jeremiah even said, I saw mommy sleeping with Mr. Ink. Now this is just a side note. I thought Ink was I-N-K and it's not, it's Incorporated. I love how business minded Mia is that she's even fucking a guy named Incorporated. I mean, that's like-

Yeah. She's like- she's got him lined up. She's like, we're in. I appreciate that you were in LLC, but right these days I'm really looking more for an S-Corp or better. If you want me to know that you're serious, just please, Notary, please. Come in.

So the producer's like, like well would you mind telling us about mr. inks history and she's okay first he doesn't want to be called that we can start there his name is just ink not mr. ink like okay I'm so glad we got that that settled and then every time she says his name they like they bleep it out but she is allowed to say ink and they literally show his face. So I'm like, why, like what is going on with this like, semi-discretion? I think, I think what they're saying, I think they're saying his name, they're not saying Mr. Ink. I think they're saying like, so what do you think of Joseph? And she's like, we can't call him

Joseph. He's branded as Mr. Ink. Like he'll, he's fine with you guys talking about him. But she's the one who says his real name out there. Well, so anyway, do not mess with his brand. I'm like, your brand is INC incorporated. Like I hate to break it to you, but that might be a hard brand to look up. It's rough to Google. It's a rough Google.

It's not the first company to have ink in their name. It's kind of part of what ink stands for. Okay, so she says, like, that's all he asks. Can you believe that? He's like, this guy said, all right, baby, you can talk about our affair. Just please don't mess up my brand. Don't mess up my stage name.

I mean, that is so somebody fucking a real housewife right there. So then Gordon's like, look, you know, I had prostate cancer and I knew that my organs weren't working right and that's why I said you could do what you wanted. But there's two rules. Be discreet and don't get the kids involved. And in this case, you got the kids involved while not being discreet. What the fuck?

And then I look at your phone bill and you're talking to him. Not only are you going to fuck him, you're talking to him the whole car ride over all the way until you're in the garage. I was like, well, that shows some restraint that she doesn't come in talking to him while she's like taking off her shoes. Come on, give the woman a break.

He's like, and you also fed, you fed the gremlins after midnight and I think you got one of them wet. Well, you know, it's hard. So he says, Juju asked me, dad, why is mommy trying to replace you with Mr. Inc? I mean, this is so bad. By the way, the backstory with Mr. Inc or Inc, sorry, brand issue there, is that they were high school sweethearts. And he was like,

and she was sleeping with him when she first got married to Gordon and Gordon knew this, but they had counseling and she moved on from it. It's like so wild. So Mia's like, I mean, honestly, Gordon, if you gave me your blessing, why are you upset right now? And he's like, cause you're throwing it in my face and you took the kids to his house. I mean, well, Jesus. So in Mia's mind, it seems to just be like, okay, that's your daddy who we're married to for stability and because you guys love him and this is ink who we love and that they're

both in your life. It's like she's having her own kind of big love over there. You know, it's like she's having her own multiple marriage, which, you know, I say more power to you if you can get away with it, you know? It seems like a lot of trouble. I can't even keep one, but you know, you do you. So the producer asks her when they started rekindling their romance, and she's like,

well, it's when I noticed Gordon was not being himself. It's when Gordon went broke. Why are we trying to pretend this is anything other than, okay, the guy I married for his money now no longer has money? I'm taking this shit. There's a hundred percent that. Sorry, I just got a call that my security alarm went off in my house, so I might be getting robbed at this moment

and who knows, maybe it's Mia, who knows? Does it ever go off on accident or by accident? It does, it drives me nuts. But it's always very disconcerting. Do you have cameras in there or anything? Ask me for a phone. I've got a Ring cam outside. I'll check it after the podcast.

I mean, what can I do? I mean, if there's robbers in there, there's robbers in there. Enjoy some board games. You're gonna come back, someone's like, I own all the wool in town. It's like, how did you get into the board game hobby? Well, I robbed someone. I was like, I might as well try this board game that I stole. Here comes one right now.

So she says she started seeing ink again when Gordon was not himself, you know, and she doesn't know she wants to leave Gordon and she's been open with Gordon this whole time. He's known about everything. And so Gordon's like, you know, I took your phone for two hours because you were talking to that guy. And then you got mad at me and went off to Atlanta.

She goes, yeah, because you took my phone and then locked me in a room. The fuck is going on in this house? This is not a functional relationship. And he goes, well, wait a minute, wait a minute. I said for two hours, you can have it back, get some rest. That's what I locked in your room so you can have rest, and then I was gonna give you your phone

back." She goes, Gordon, you're not my dad. Who does that? And he goes, well, let me finish. And he goes, no, but there's no let's pause there. And so he's like, you know what? I'm out. I'm done.

Thank you, everyone. Thank you very much. So he storms out. You can't even lock a woman in a room anymore. I mean, Jesus Christ. She's like, no, no, no, you took my phone. You locked me in a room. And he's like, no, this is unproductive.

It's a waste of time. You just can't help yourself. I try and cooperate. I said, look, you want to film me locking Mia in a room? I will do that. But now look at the generosity you've exploited. So the producer says, but the open relationship, did that just not include Ink?

And he goes, no, because he's there trying to break up our marriage. Well, Ink could probably say you were trying to break up his relationship since high school, Gordon. Really, just to play devil's ad. And she's like, you know, he told me, she told me he was my safe zone and that he's her soulmate. She told me this and now she's denying it.

Where are my keys? Where are my keys? What are you so obsessed with box about? Stop. Gordon, some of this is on you. If you just got married to someone and they say that someone else is their soulmate and they're also sleeping together, you have to reevaluate what you want out of this relationship.

I mean, it sounds like maybe in the beginning he was like, you know what? I don't care because I like this. I want a hot, hot thing on my arm. She wants the money. She can do what she wants, but I like this lifestyle. But now it looks like he sort of got, he kind of like forgot what the real the rules of the arrangement were. So either you follow the arrangement, or you just move on to someone who actually wants to be with you. Now I get that she's going back on her part of the arrangement, right, which is kind of flaunting it, or not denying it, or laughing about it,

or embarrassing him, whatever she's doing, I get that. But you're also going back on your part of the arrangement, which is staying rich. So you've both made mistakes. Yeah. This is what happens. This is the danger of these arrangements. They can fall apart very quickly. So she's like, well, can we talk about the future?

Can we talk about what we're going to do with the future? And he goes like, no, not until we resolve these unresolved issues. No. She goes, well, you until we resolve these unresolved issues. No. I was just, well, you're accusing me of being with someone. Didn't you think that like maybe if I was really with someone, didn't you think that maybe if I was really with someone then he goes, well, tell me, was it true?

Why did ink think that Jeremiah was his kid? Yikes. And so she goes, Gordon, that's not fair. That's not fair. And then he has his line, you want fair? Go to a carnival. Just stop lying. So she tells us, you know, I told him years ago, I said, I'm pregnant. And I also want you to know that in the timeline,

this baby might not be yours. And he said, well, he loves me. And he's going to raise the child as if it's his. And then the producer's like, and no one, and no one, no yours. And he said, well, he loves me and he's gonna raise the child as if it's his. And then the producer's like, and no paternity test was requested? And she's like, not that I know of. By the way, real responsible just airing this out on TV.

I'm sure Jeremiah will never hear this. This will never get back to him ever. And it's just casually on a national platform forever. This is so sloppy. This is a very, very, very sloppy. And Gordon's like, well, look, you suddenly started making a lot of money on this show. And then now you don't need me, because you

had access to capital or whatever. And I'm just telling the truth. Well, why are you going to shame her for making money? I mean, I don't access to capital or whatever. And I'm just telling the truth. Well, why are you gonna shame her for making my, I mean, I don't know, I'm sorry. It's hard for me to be on either side. Like, look, I get that it's not great that she's out cheating and having babies with other men, but you know, you ordered a trophy

and you knew what you got. Like, I cannot listen to you complain about it all these years later, just stop. So, yeah, he was like, Don't worry, not at all. Chill out with that. You're slandering me and I'm the one that's transferring money to you. Make sure that you can eat. And he's like, congratulations.

He's like, congratulations. Thank you. And she goes, oh, but I'm the gold digger, right? And I'm married to you for your money, even though you're asking me for money? I'm like, well, and I'm married to you for your money, even though you're asking me for money. I'm like, well, Mia doesn't really, that's not gold digging does not necessarily mean like, what is the current financial situation is, is like, what was it when you guys got together? Because if you're, if he was wealthy and you got together with him when he was wealthy and you were working at like a strip club and then he lost his money and now you're leaving him. Yeah, that does actually kind of look like gold. I'm sorry, but she was way richer than him.

I don't know if you watch the show. Oh, I have a lot of money from an inheritance. So, so she's saying, listen, if I was leaving this marriage because of financial reasons, I would have left years ago because he was going out to strip clubs and spending an excessive amount of money, which also like, I don't feel bad for you on that front either. Like, hello, what do you, where do you think he was going? You think he's going to suddenly start going to the library on Wednesday nights? Did you not remember where he found you? So she's like, I was losing myself and he started

this whole fight with his family and you know, I told him myself and he started this whole fight with his family. And you know, I told him to let go of this fight with his family because he is compounding it by not only going poor, going poor, but by going poorer by spending all their money on lawsuits that he's not going to win. Exactly. Because she knows that they're guilty as hell from all of that stuff. And that's allegedly that they were spending money on the wrong things. And having the entire family over to their new rented house

that they remodeled that they didn't even own with what money. That family is like, she knows they don't have a leg to stand on with that. Yeah, and he goes, look, I'm perfectly willing to set all of this aside and move on for the sake of the kids. And she goes, we're meeting in a marriage with you?

He goes, you can frame it whatever way you want. Well, what else else would you frame it? So she goes, I just feel like right now it's like really hard to answer that because like the only thing that I can think about is just like how much of a loose cannon you are. And he goes, well, I don't think people think I'm a loose cannon. And she's like, well, you know, I just need more time. I can't just say I'm gonna stay married to you. Let's just let things die down a little bit.

And he goes, well then stop fucking Joseph then, or whatever the guy's name is. And she's like, Gordon Branding, Gordon Branding, Gordon. It's like you just walked yourself right into a trap. I didn't even know why you're bringing him up. Because you're screwing him. Corrin! You just told me two days ago you were screwing him.

Mia, pick a story and stick with it. And so she tells us, this life that I'm living is not the life that God intended for me. Okay? God was like, I want this lady to be the first female president of the United States. Whoops, sorry, ruined it. God's like, here's what we call a glass ceiling, okay? I want her to find a man named Ink and I want to bust through it. God's like, for this baby, you know what I want?

I want them to be a successful owner of several joint franchises. That is my goal for this one. So soon. So we hear a little bit more about Ink. She says that Ink has been such a good friend to her and he's been really supportive of like, dot, dot, dot, my decisions. Yeah, your decision to not marry him

because he was poor and to go find a rich man instead and then marry that guy instead while you were getting the money from him and still fucking ink. Yeah. Can I just say I fucking love Mia and this is great casting. We've said it a million times, but you just can't find a Mia. She is on every street corner. I didn't mean that, but I meant-

She's a total grifter. Total grifter. You can't, there's not just a Mia in every casting call. You know what I mean? Yeah. Well, listen, we've been praising her grifting for a few years now, and this is just like the culmination of it. And just the no shame in the game. Just how she's like, yeah, well, he's the true love of my life. And he loves me so much that he allowed me to marry some old man for his money, and he's still just there waiting for me.

And now he told me, I will be there for you. I will be here waiting for you when that old fucker falls over or leaves you for some younger model. And here we are. And he's still been waiting. He didn't marry anybody else. He's literally still waiting.

And we're like, in my mind, I'm hearing the music from the notebook playing. Like, this is the sweetest thing I've ever seen on the Housewives. Yeah, this is like, I'm hearing the music from the notebook playing. Like this is the sweetest thing I've ever seen on the Housewives. Yeah, this is like, I mean, she's basically in some sort of Jane Austen novel, right? Because those novels from the 19th century are all like, oh, sweet Elizabeth was promised to Mr. Rochester, which I know I'm mixing up. We don't call her Jane.

We call her LLC. But it's always a story of a lady who is forced into a marriage with a wealthy man, but the real love of her life is out there in the farm or whatever. And then she can finally be liberated from the marriage and be with the man that she really wants. If you think about it, that's kind of, I mean, Mia is just like a classic 19th century story. It's just it just seems much less Romantic when it's taking place in like the DC suburbs Yeah So she's like I just need a break Gordon and he's like you're already gone You've already given me separation papers. We're not living together

I knew it and I made up my mind a long time ago. If a woman says they wanna go, go. I'll just be here babysitting. And then we see the previews for the reunion and we see Mia FaceTiming with Ink and then Gordon comes in and Gordon's waving at Ink like, hey, what's going on? She's sitting on the couch and she goes, say hi to Ink. He's like, hey Ink.

It barely makes any sense. So anyway, that was Potomac. That was Potomac. What a wild ending into a mediocre at best season. A two parter on Potomac. Oh, who'd have thought? Who would have thought? You know what? Here's the next season. Let's just look forward to next season. There's still an immense amount of raw talent on this cast. Let's get it back on track. We know this show can be great.

So you know what? We'll just write this one off as a loss and we'll move forward. Thank you, everyone, for being here. We still love you, show. We still love you. We do. Of course we love you. Of course we believe in you. And we believe in you. Shows go through. they go through hard times. They go through ruts. This is where we will be ready for next season and we'll be ready with a great attitude. So everyone,

thanks so much for being here and we will catch you on the next episode. Bye everyone. Bye. Watch what crap ends would like to thank its premium sponsors. Bye everyone. Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeee eeeee eeeee e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e It's the green fairy, Jamie. She has no last name-y. Hava Nagila Webber. Know your worth with Jason Kurt. She's the wind beneath our Jennifer Wing. Sip some scotch with Jessica Tratch. She's always supplying, it's Kelly Ryan. Kristen the Piston Anderson. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino.

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