Watch What Crappens - #2418 PumpRules, Part 2: You In Danger Girl!

Episode Date: May 8, 2024

*This is part 2*Vanderpump Rules (S11E15) is done for the season… and maybe forever? Or maybe it’s just the end for Ariana?  We have so many questions!  What an awkward way to c...elebrate Kyle Chan.  Grab tickets for our European tour at watchwhatcrappens.com Watch this recap as a video and get our bonus episodes at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens ad free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Hi, I'm Misha Brown and I'm the host of Wondery's podcast, The Big Flop. Each episode, comedians join me to chronicle one of the biggest pop culture fails of all time and try to answer the age-old question, who thought this was a good idea? Follow The Big Flop wherever you get your podcasts. What happens when there's so much that happens? Ellie and Schwartz and Joe were talking and Ellie has this to say. It feels like New Year's, but it's not. Well, so congratulations. Calendar Insights, a new podcast by Ellie. It feels like Easter, but it's not Easter. Thank you for listening.
Starting point is 00:01:20 Whoa, Ellie, you look so fabulous. Joseph, you look fabulous, too. Joseph, do you feel good? She's like, um, yeah, it was like pre-concussion. I just saw the future. I saw that in your birth chart. So she's like, yeah, and see, Manny, you look fabulous. You look really good. You look so good. You look good enough to eat.
Starting point is 00:01:36 Not that I would do that, because we're not dating and also I don't eat humans, because I'm not sick. Well, maybe I am. Would I eat you? Does anyone have any ketchup I'm just kidding come your arm just kidding I was really good oh that was really that was really scary anyway I'm so glad you came Joseph hey why don't you come over to
Starting point is 00:01:57 the lion's den okay don't you want to be humiliated on TV it'll be fun she's like oh no I don't really like negative energy I think I have to have a concussion to enjoy that. Wait hold on one second. All right I'm concussed let's do it. Come on negative wait wait hold on dot dot dot can we have a cutaway please? She's like cut to Katie like Yeah don't worry they're not negative. Oh well I mean a little bit negative. I mean sometimes negative. Well I mean but if you don't have negatives, you wouldn't be able to take good pictures, right? So come on, let's do it. Oh, all right.
Starting point is 00:02:31 Okay. So Joe is like, I just... Joe is like Ronnie watching this episode. I just really want this to be over. I'm like, I'm hoping that if I can say I'm sorry, she'll say sorry back. And like, I don't know, by the way, something you should never hope from Katie, that if I'm sorry, she'll say sorry back. And like, I don't know, by the way, something you should never hope from Katie, that if I say sorry, she'll say sorry back.
Starting point is 00:02:49 She must have had her concussion already. She goes, I don't know if she hates me because of Schwartz. The answer is yes. We don't have to finish the sentence and my connection, but like he could date a tree and she chop it down. So like, good luck. Next woman or tree or woman tree or the grandmother from into the woods who appears as a tree. Good luck. Oh my God. Well, this is another thing. Like I was talking about there, the Ariana and Tom situation. Like, why are you guys forcing it? Why are you making Joe fly all the way
Starting point is 00:03:20 to San Francisco to get yelled at by Katie. Like this was never happened. Tom broke up with her. It doesn't even make any sense. Like Joe isn't a part of this friend group. I don't understand what they're doing. I mean, if, if they're making Joe a permanent part of the cast or whatever, maybe, but I don't really understand. It just doesn't make any sense. It was cruel. So Brad is sitting with Katie. Brad is like one of the gays. And he's sitting with Katie and is watching us. Schwartz and Joe are approaching and Brad goes, here comes my favorite cracked out person. I'm like, you're cracked out. You're dressed like an egg yolk. This is a black tie party.
Starting point is 00:03:57 And you're wearing all yellow and you're gonna keep someone else up looking like a cracked out person. You literally look like a cracked out person. Yeah, you're just like a gay following orders and I don't like that. I don't like seeing order following gays on these shows. I'm so sick of it, you know? And not just this one, but all of Bravo shows. It seems like Bravo's like, you know what we need? Some order following gays.
Starting point is 00:04:15 Let's get us five gays who just follow orders of straight people. That's all I wanna see on my channel, damn it! Like, where are our independent gays? Where are our reza gays, okay? Where are our Reza Queen gays who do not take orders from anybody, okay? From watching this, you'd think gays are just a bunch
Starting point is 00:04:33 of fucking muppets with bleach blonde hair, okay? I'm sick of it. Stop following orders, gays. We're better than this. Not you, though. All the gays that are independent, throw your hands up at me. Okay, so, yeah, he's like grass, You're independent. Throw your hands up at me. Okay.
Starting point is 00:04:50 So, yeah, he's like, Grouse, crackhead. So then Joe comes over and Schwartz is like, whoa, you guys, you know Joe, yay, it's Joe. Look out, Joe, everybody. Joe's like, I'm leaving. Yeah, they're just like, so Schwartz just forces Joe into this confrontation and Joe's like, well, um, Katie, I'm sorry. Um, well, I just wanted to say like, I'm sorry if I ever hurt you. And Katie of course goes, sorry, if, sorry, if, and I have to say I'm a little over the
Starting point is 00:05:22 semantics policing of sorry if versus sorry that honestly, it was something that like we used to make a big deal about like sorry if it's a conditional apology, fuck you, it should just be an apology. But at this point I'm actually over it. I think we as humans, it's time for us to accept that when someone says, if I did this and upset you that I'm really sorry. That it's like, it's an apology. It's not like someone saying, if I did this,
Starting point is 00:05:50 but if I didn't do it, then I'm not sorry. I think it's time for people to like finally- I reject that. Well, if that offended you, Ronnie, then I'm sorry. But I just think it gives- This is how I reject it. I'm sorry I reject that and this is why I'm rejecting that. That's how you need to apologize.
Starting point is 00:06:09 I agree that's a better apology. It is not invalidated. This is 2024. We have literally been trained. We have been trained for years now how to apologize properly. You have to list shit you are sorry for. You have to be like, I'm sorry that I did not consider your feelings when hooking up with Schwartz. I was so in love with Schwartz and infatuated. We became friends, then we became lovers. I became so infatuated with him. I didn't care about anyone's feelings but my own and you got hurt in the crossfire.
Starting point is 00:06:34 I'm not really expecting anything from you, but I wanted you to know that I'm sorry because I carry it around all the time and I really truly am sorry. That's how you apologize. I'm sorry if I hurt you. What the fuck does that mean? You better get, I have recedes.
Starting point is 00:06:46 Well, it's nice to see you taking Katie's side. I think that the reason why I have an issue, I think sorry that is a better apology, but sorry if it just opens the door for an actual apology, and a moment of like trying to connect with someone with an apology to get derailed in semantics. Because instead of it being like, I'm trying to express that I have remorse about a situation. And like if, you know, and if the person says if instead of that, and then all of a sudden we have a discussion about
Starting point is 00:07:15 if versus that, and just as this happened literally right now in this moment, then it gets derailed. It becomes a topic about something else and not about the apology. So I'm just, but those aren't different things.'m just sick of having to watch people like these moments that could have been like an apology moment where there could be progress and it gets derailed because someone goes, if, if, what about that? That's not how you apologize.
Starting point is 00:07:37 And then you're like, okay, now it's a conversation about how you apologize. Oh yeah, cause it is, you know, how you hurt me. It's not like, I'm sorry if I hurt you, like whatever, just get over it. I'm sorry you're hurt by the nothing that it is, you know, how you hurt me. It's not like, I'm sorry if I hurt you. Like, whatever, just get over it. I'm sorry you're hurt by the nothing that I did. You know, like, I need a fucking list, and I need you to write it down in an email
Starting point is 00:07:52 so I can forward it to everybody I know. I need the lawyers to have it. I need everybody to know. Especially on Bravo, because I feel like really, especially on Vanderpump Rules, because look how many versions of people come out. It's like, look at Jax, the king of the I'm sorrys. Like every year he has a new version of Jax that he is.
Starting point is 00:08:10 I mean, he's still doing it on the Valley. Like, I mean, like, I'm sorry, but I'm changing. I'm different. I'm working on myself. He literally says that this week. I'm working on myself though. I'm trying to change. Of course.
Starting point is 00:08:21 He's still saying that all these years later. Yeah, classic. Yeah, I don't know. And I also have to say, we're arguing right now about this, just because it's fun and like frankly, I'm bored. But I have to say, Ben, you are such a good person and such a good friend and you do not apologize with a sorry if. If there is, and first of all, you very rarely ever owed me an apology, but whenever you've given one, it has never been a like, sorry if you're upset, Ronnie. It's never been like that. You are very good at being like, I'm sorry that this, this, and this hurt your feelings. I see that it did. And this is what I was thinking. And I've never met a better communicator than you. So I'm surprised that you're sticking up for the story. Yes. You know why? You know, well, first of all, thank you. Um, but, um,
Starting point is 00:09:09 you're also a good apologizer, but again, we don't really ever have to apologize to each other that much. So, but I, but what I, I think there is a difference. I do think there's a difference between saying like, I'm sorry if you feel sad. Um, That is, that feels insincere to me. But if someone, if you're saying something from the tone of like, I think there's like an implication in a tone of saying like, I didn't even realize
Starting point is 00:09:35 what I was doing was offending you. And like, if it did offend you, well then absolutely I'm totally sorry. Like if it didn't, then like, then I guess like we don't have anything to apologize for because everything is good. But like, didn't, then like, then, then I guess like we don't have to anything to apologize for it because everything is good. But like if what I did like hurt you, then, oh my goodness, I feel terrible about that. I didn't even think about that. So I just feel like it's just a subtlety.
Starting point is 00:09:55 I think the, where you put the, if in the sentence can have a totally different tone. I do think saying that I apologize that I did this is like a better apology and it's stronger and it really it presents more accountability. But I just think that like the moment it's become such a thing that the moment that someone says if when you can tell that they're genuinely trying to really apologize, it just is one of those things where then it becomes an argument about tone and semantics as opposed to like what the substance of what someone's trying to say.
Starting point is 00:10:26 And as we know, this conversation between Joe and Katie was gonna be very, very substantial. So I'm really glad that I really talked the entire podcast to discuss the semantics of this. No, it's okay. I don't like the semantics. I'm sorry if that upset the audience. I like talking about stuff like that. But here's the reason that this kind of bugged me with Katie getting all defensive about
Starting point is 00:10:49 it is because I really wanna know what really happened here because we don't really know. And I don't know how much is just Katie's feelings because from what we've seen, the evidence has been Katie showing us a text that said, Joe saying, Katie, I'm so sorry, you're such a queen, I'm so sorry you're such a queen, I'm sorry about your relationship, please call me if you ever need to. And then we saw that Katie never even wrote her back a thank you or anything like that. And then we see another text where Katie writes back finally and says, girl, what's up with
Starting point is 00:11:19 you? One minute you wanna say sorry and the next minute you wanna cut his hair or whatever she did, like you want a hair model or whatever the text is, I don't have it in front of me. But it looked like to me that Joe was trying to be Katie's friend and Katie was like, fuck this weirdo and then told off Joe. So to me, it looked like this girl doesn't really owe you that much anyway. That's the initial vibe. So I'm just curious to see what this was. So I hope it all gets out on the table in this conversation. Well, so, I mean, also it's like, was Joe, like we don't really understand truly the connection
Starting point is 00:11:52 of Katie and Joe as friends. So like Katie is acting as if it were, you know, Kristin or Stassi or someone who had betrayed her, but like Joe, we never even heard about Joe until last season. So- Joe was supposedly, from what I've heard, and this is from, listen, this is like the Marvel Extended Universe of 18 million podcasts, nine after shows, multiple, like, there's so many things
Starting point is 00:12:17 to keep up with, but from what I've read on Reddit, my favorite, is that Joe was one of Kristin's friends and she kind of warmed her way into the group that way. And then when she was dating, when Katie and Tom broke up, she kind of jumped on that and started hooking up with Tom and then completely ghosted Kristin. Now that's according to Kristin, who knows because Kristen is Kristen, but that's what I read on the internet. Yeah. Thank you. All I can go off of right now are vibes
Starting point is 00:12:53 and I just feel like Joe, I don't know what's, I think that Joe was trying to be, it seems like Joe was trying to be like sympathetic or nice to Katie, but didn't really seem like they had much of like a friendship or whatever. And whatever. So anyway, she's basically like, Joe got onto this show from dating Tom Schwartz. They're trying to make Joe a thing. They're not letting her be a thing, which I don't know that I can really blame them.
Starting point is 00:13:19 They're always a little like that with new people anyway, much less controversial ones like this. And it's just awkward. And so they're kind of throwing her into the lion's den and just being like, we'll go over there and have a confrontation. We need something to happen. And it's just, I don't know that this person is really prepared for that. You know, Joe is not ready. I think Joe was, it's just like putting a baby on a freeway. I think Joe was anticipating that she'd be talking to like, you know, a chill person.
Starting point is 00:13:49 And so she's like, I'm sorry, like I'm sorry if I ever hurt you. And Katie does the sorry if, and Jo goes, yeah. And Katie goes, it's not a sorry if, it's just a sorry. So Jo goes, okay, I'm really sorry. Katie goes, it's weird, you're weird. I was like, whoa, that's like, Katie's being so mean right now.
Starting point is 00:14:09 And Lali goes, don't say that, okay. So, and Katie goes, all right, it is what it is. It is what it is. Joe goes, well, do you feel like you owe me an apology? Katie goes, no. Come on, you have to admit you laughed at that shit. I started cracking up at that part. I was like, Joe, it's like, Joe, no, turn back, Joe.
Starting point is 00:14:27 You're really going to go up to Katie and ask for an apology. Oh my God, girl, no. So she's like, yeah, but like I sent you like a genuine text about the divorce Katie. I mean, it was genuine. It was a text. It was a genuine text. Like there weren't even any emojis in it. Yeah. She's like, I literally used some data on you. Okay. He goes, yeah. And then something grew there. And then you asked, then you asked like, do I stay with him or whatever? And like, can I stay with him? And Joe's like, that's not how it happened. You know, the way that you moved, it's like you were texting him like, you're texting and saying like, oh, I'm so sorry, but I'm gonna go move with him now So it was like weird sign loops
Starting point is 00:15:07 But she never moved in with me. She never technically moved in with what are you guys talking about? She didn't move in with me Well, it was like it doesn't matter you guys still stayed together and had sex and then you're texting Katie Like I'm so sorry about your divorce and she was no no that was like months There were like months between all of these things that were happening and I just, I wish I had a space to explain that because like, I mean, that's what I feel bad about. Okay, well, this is what I wanted to know
Starting point is 00:15:33 because they're making it sound like she was like, Katie, I'm so sorry about your divorce either while she was fucking Tom or while she was trying to jump on Tom and fuck him. But Joe is saying that there were months between that happening and then her befriending and then eventually sleeping with Tom. So that's what I wanted to know, but it never really gets there. Katie is like, well, I feel like you've always had it for him and you were waiting for your moment. And I was like, I don't believe stats. So Ariana's just like watching and she's like,
Starting point is 00:16:05 she's just confused. Like why is Schwartz bringing this girl around Katie? Like, cause it doesn't make any sense. Like this is not a confrontation that needed to be had. And there's just Schwartz, Schwartz just getting off, I think on these two women fighting over him. I think we're just watching Jeremiah tap dancing cause we see producer Jeremiah later,
Starting point is 00:16:24 who's trying to force the Tom and Ariana scene because he's supposed to. He's supposed to make the season finale happen. And basically their idea to make the season finale happen is to throw chum at these girls and watch the girls yell at the guys. It's supposed to be like the big girls, the girls get revenge on the guys by letting them have it,
Starting point is 00:16:42 but then everybody forgives each other and we all move on. But it's just like, they're not playing this game. They're like, why the fuck should we have to do this? I shouldn't have to shoot with this chick and I shouldn't have to shoot with my ex. Find something else to do. Yeah. So, um, Katie's like, next time, when you want to love and support someone going through a divorce, don't move in with her ex husband. And Joe's like, I didn't move in. We just had sex. Katie's like, fine. Don't stay with him for two weeks. How is couch surfing?
Starting point is 00:17:08 Don't do it. Don't do it. Just don't do it. Don't do it. Don't surf on a couch. Don't you know why you're getting concussions? You're setting that couch up and falling off. Don't fucking do it.
Starting point is 00:17:16 Stay with someone else. Stay with someone else. Literally go anywhere else, Joe. And then Joe's like, no, just let him go. And then this part I was like, okay, good for you. Fucking finally. So Joe, Joe grew some, you know? I was like, fuck off.
Starting point is 00:17:32 Like, no, you don't get to just, I mean, this was weird. Cause I had multiple feelings. Cause at one, I'm like, finally, she just stood up for herself and was like, you don't get to call dibs on a man forever. You're the one who dumped him, you know? But then seeing how hurt Katie was, I was like, you see, this is like, you don't get to call dibs on a man forever. You're the one who dumped him, you know? But then seeing how hurt Katie was, I was like, you see, this is like, you want it,
Starting point is 00:17:48 it's like you leave somebody and you finally get it up to leave them, but you still want that guy to turn around and be like, okay, I learned something. And it's like a whole different chapter of hurt when the guy is like, okay, now I'm fucking Kristen's friend, the hairdresser, you know? Right.
Starting point is 00:18:03 So Katie is like, Joe, you're a fucking liar. And Schwartz is like, she's not a liar. And now at this point, Joe's crying. She's like way out of her depths, you know? And Lala's like, no, don't worry, don't cry. You're fine, you're fine, you're fine. Lala is basically like in the corner of like the boxing, where you're like giving Joe some water,
Starting point is 00:18:21 like patting down her face, tending to her wounds, like get back in there, come on, you got another round, she can do this, she can do this, you're not knocked out yet, come on, come on. Yeah, Lola is like, come on, I'm the only one left to make an ass out of myself at this reunion and I can't carry the whole things, okay? Or this finale.
Starting point is 00:18:37 So Schwartz is like, yeah, Katie, come on, he's up a little, Katie. And she's like, hey, before you think this is weird, I'm gonna stay with your ex-husband who you're not divorced yet from, are you probably entangling your fucking life from, and this is probably a difficult time for you. Well, you know what? You should have texted her back. That's what I say. Because if you had texted her back and been like, thanks, Joe, that's such a sweet text. But when you didn't text her back, I think she was like, well, I tried. Bye. Now I'm going to go fuck Tom.
Starting point is 00:19:03 didn't text her back. I think she was like, well, I tried. Bye. Now I'm going to go fuck Tom. Yeah. I mean, I understand why Katie's annoyed. I fully get it. But like, I think also, like, it's time to move on from this. Okay. So Joe is like, well, I wasn't thinking about you. I was thinking about myself because as a woman, you should have thought about me as, as, as tenuous friends as we were. And so Schwartz was like. I was gonna say, I don't think she even has to move on. I think if you don't like someone that your ex is fucking, that's your right. She's just not friends with Joe.
Starting point is 00:19:33 I just don't understand what this show is doing, trying to make this scene even happen. Like, this just would never happen. You would never go confront the ex of the guy that just dumped you. It's a bizarre setup for the first place. Yeah. Short's like, she just came over to make peace, not to confront. I'm like, you came over to confront actually.
Starting point is 00:19:55 And Katie's like, I don't want peace. Well, you know, you can't argue with her on that. She's like, I don't want peace. So you can't be upset with Katie. She literally is achieving all of her roles, you know? Yeah. Yeah. So I don't even know this person. So Joe leaves crying, you know, as we all knew she would. And so Schwartz is a car. She just wanted to chat. She feels really uncomfortable. Now I'm going to have to go break up with her again. So she's got
Starting point is 00:20:20 something else to cry about and doesn't have something unsolvable to cry about like your rage Katie. And she's like, I don't give a shit about how she feels. Her feelings are none of my business. She's like, Oh, God, Katie. She's like, I told you this. You want to be my friend and keep it away from me. I just, I don't like ultimatums or quid pro quos Clarice. I don't know, I was about to say. Oh, the silence of the shorts. But Katie's like, she's like, I didn't give you an ultimatum. I just said keep her away from me. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial.
Starting point is 00:20:58 In the climate ravaged year of 2072, the city of Pura stands as a miraculous green haven, a geo-engineered paradise that protects fortunate residents from the global catastrophes of heat domes, fires, floods and droughts. Demetria Lopez heads up Pura's public relations, tirelessly promoting the city's idyllic image. But when she stumbles upon a dark secret that if exposed would be the downfall of Pyrrha's existence, she must decide who and what she is willing to protect. From Wondery, the makers of Academy and Dr. Death, The Last City stars actors Reyes Seahorn,
Starting point is 00:21:36 Jeannie Tirado and Maury Stirling. Follow The Last City on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of The Last City early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery+. I love a good parasocial relationship with a celebrity who will probably never know my name. I mean, honestly, who knows? Don't count yourself out. But my favorite part about these feuds is how they're ignited by the tiniest things.
Starting point is 00:22:06 Jada, I love you. G-I Jane too. Can't wait to see it. I accidentally laminated my brows too much. It starts small, and then it gets so big. Hey, honest Naomi, I'm fearful of you to this day. I don't know her. We all just have to admit, we're addicted.
Starting point is 00:22:22 Everybody has opinions. Everyone picks sides. Leave Britney Spears alone right now. From Wondry, I'm Sydney Battle. And I'm Matt Bellassai. And this is Dis & Tell. Where we unpack why we get so invested in these feuds and whether or not our attention
Starting point is 00:22:43 only makes the whole thing worse. Follow Diss and Tell wherever you get your podcasts. It's kind of funny because I was like, Katie was being so mean to Joe, but then at the end I'm kind of like, I mean, that's a pretty simple request that she made. Yeah. Why does she have to like sit down and have lunch with Joe? It's so weird. Katie and Oriana being both confronted with their exes. I mean, I don't like the whole sending your entire fandom after the girl and being like, she's a crackhead
Starting point is 00:23:07 and all that stuff. You know, Katie does have moves that kind of suck, but as far as the hanging out with Joe, what does she have to sit and have a powwow and forgive Joe and have a big, she doesn't even know Joe. She barely knows this girl. It's weird.
Starting point is 00:23:21 It just is more about Schwartz and not being comfortable with her. I mean, I think it's a little bit of a, I think it's to sit and have a powwow and forgive Joe and have a big cov... She doesn't even know Joe. She barely knows this girl. It's weird. It just is more about Schwartz and not being comfortable being amongst conflict. He just wants everyone to get along.
Starting point is 00:23:34 So he can film with everyone. Or he just wants them to fight, actually, and he can drive. I think he just wants to enrage Katie and have women fighting over him. He wants to have either total peace or total chaos. It's one or total chaos. He's one or the other. So, Sandoval is not doing it.
Starting point is 00:23:48 You only bring Joe around Katie to start shit, especially after you've already broken up with Joe. Like there's only one reason you're bringing her here. Yeah. Trigger to trigger Katie. Katie chum! Yep. Chug week.
Starting point is 00:24:02 So Sandoval is talking to Sheena and Lala and Lala's saying, she's again like, we had the best food today for lunch. Oh, I wish, like I think that like in all the years of shooting Phantom of Rulers, I think the House of Nanking was the best food we've ever eaten in our lives. Wasn't it great, Sandoval? Oh, sorry, you weren't there. Sorry. There's really rubbing salt in the in
Starting point is 00:24:25 his house of nam king wounds and sandival's like bro brock i just wanted to say that shorts told me you stood up for me today i turned my light pink that's the grateful color so i really appreciate that bro and he's like well we're're in the middle. We're not Switzerland. We're friends with both of you guys Love your PayPal huge fans of that He's like thanks, bro Just yeah Well, what we need to see from you is to step up and be here for your friend. Shut up Brock But just be quiet since she knows like yeah, I understand what he did to Ariana was terrible
Starting point is 00:25:02 I just wish that they you know, like and I just wish it wasn't so black and white so she could see how much I'm struggling. I'm like, I'm just trying to be loyal to her. It's like, it's so hard and I don't wanna lose her, but I feel like I'm losing myself. Literally don't understand how she was losing herself in this. So, so now they're having cocktails, more cocktails,
Starting point is 00:25:22 and Schwartz is talking to Dan. He's like, hey, by the way, nice meeting you, dude. It was like, really nice chilling with you earlier today. Are you guys going to do something afterwards? You're not mad at me about making that trash comment at lunch today. Really, please don't beat me up. And Ariana's like, I think after this, we're going to go to Applebee's. I mean, I'm all about the Applebee's life right now. And like, yeah. And then Sandoval comes over and Dan just is like, Dan's just like giving him the evil eye.
Starting point is 00:25:51 Like, don't you dare come over here. But he does, of course. And Ariana's like, oh my God, this is not happening. He's like, oh, I was looking for you. Hey, hey, it's me, television star Sandoval. So, hey guys. And they're just ignoring him. He's like, Dan. Hey, hey, it's me, television's Tom Sandibow. So, hey guys." And they're just ignoring him. He's like, Dan, Dan, hey, Dan, just wanted to introduce myself. I'm Tom, penis loop, shorts his mom,
Starting point is 00:26:14 you know, so I need to list my hits. Hey, Dan, I got you this lightning bolt necklace. Pretty cool. The person who originally had it doesn't want it anymore. So Tom puts out his hand to shake it, shake Dan's hand and Dan does not receive it. So then Tom essentially does the equivalent of putting his hand into his hair. He tries to seem like he wasn't doing a handshake, whatever. And he's like, yeah, man, I heard you're a great guy and I just want to say what's up and wish you guys the best of luck. So Dan's like. He's like, appreciate that. Yeah, appreciate that. Okay. Appreciate that.
Starting point is 00:26:46 Won't share any tips about CO2 and beer for you. Hope you get bloated, motherfucker. So, Sam the Volt. So what did you say? What did you say to him? What did you say to him? Isn't he handsome? He has such long hair.
Starting point is 00:26:58 He has such big arms. What did you say to him? I'm such a boy. I just said. I just said. Please. Please. Please. Sorry for interrupting you, Ben.
Starting point is 00:27:08 I'm sorry if I interrupted you, Ben. I just said, nice to meet you, dude. And Ali's like, I'm not gonna lie, I got very nervous. Yeah, I feel like we need to leave now. So yeah, and Ariana's, Ali's like, wow, like Arianna, you just like looked down when he came over and she's like, yeah, I was talking to Logan because Logan's a Beyonce right now.
Starting point is 00:27:31 Which is so funny, because I remember when they were fighting, when she found out and they were, the last season finale when she was going off on him and he was, you know, excusing himself for everything that happened and somehow blaming her. Like, you never spend time with me. All you do is hang out with your gay guys
Starting point is 00:27:50 and talk about Beyonce. And so this one, she's ignoring him while she's texting her gay guy about Beyonce. And I was like, oh, it's just delicious, isn't it? And probably actively getting an offer to make a guest appearance on Love Island too. The other thing that she does with her gays. actively getting an offer to make a guest appearance on Love Island to the other thing that she does with her gaze. So, um, uh, so,
Starting point is 00:28:09 yeah, it's true. I was like, I feel like that, that moment had to happen. Ariana was like, um, it doesn't have to happen at all. He's not in my life at all. And she tells us I'm not here as a cog in the machine of Tom Sandoval's redemption arc. So you guys can do that without me. So, um, this was beautifully said and I'm glad she said that. And I hope that every hater out there just hears that line.
Starting point is 00:28:34 Cause that's really the whole point in this whole thing. It's like, you guys, if you want to make Tom Sandoval happen, go ahead. Stop fucking calling me about it. Yeah, exactly. It must've been, this must've been an absolutely hellacious season for her to shoot, having him shoved in her face scene after scene. So, um... Schwartz goes up to Sandoval, he's like,
Starting point is 00:28:56 you know, by the way, I know you wanted to talk to Ariana, but I don't think now is a good time. There's this really awkward moment at the house of Nanking today. Oh, God, that food was so good! Oh, sorry, sorry, but just don't think now is a good time. There's this really awkward moment at the house of Nanking today. Oh god, that food was so good I'm sorry. Sorry, but I just don't talk to her. Don't talk to her. He's like, okay. All right. All right All right. All right. So now it's time for Sheena to get ready to do her singing I nearly forgot that she was doing a performance on this episode. So now she changes into her good as gold look and
Starting point is 00:29:22 Kyle gets on stage and he's like, are you guys all having a good time with my best friends? The cast of Bantamub rules everyone. Woo, just one of the bros. Guess what? Here's somebody else who follows me on Instagram. You guys should follow her. Her name is Sheena Shay, and she has a song that
Starting point is 00:29:45 people have probably heard called Good As Gold. And she's like, Hi. Oh my god, everyone looks good as gold tonight. Wink. Which I will not be singing. So Santa Vol says some bullshit about how he was like, you know what, like at first, I really wasn't so crazy about the song Apples, but it's really growing on me. And like, I don't know, I'm like really stoked to see Sheena really pushing her music and like, it's cool that like,
Starting point is 00:30:15 I'm kind of the star of her music now. So yeah, I like it. So now we have Sheena singing. Hi, baby, how are you? How you like them? Apples, apples, apples, apples. Yeah, I feel like I'm falling back in love with music because I was performing.
Starting point is 00:30:31 This really means so much to me. And Tom's really stepped up and he helped us out when he didn't have to. Like before, we were just gonna do this into paper cups that we cut the bottoms out of to use as microphones. But he brought us an audio person and he didn't have to and he didn't even tell us he was doing that. It's crazy.
Starting point is 00:30:50 Hopefully he continues down this path of bringing me sound engineers when I wasn't expecting them. He's changing. He's so different now. So Ariana goes, like after the performance, Ariana goes over to hug Sheena and is like, oh my god, you killed it.
Starting point is 00:31:06 And there's like, like they're toasting, cheers. And she's like, yeah. Hey, do you know who Hasan is? And Ariana's like, no. It's Sandoval's sound guy or whatever. Ariana's like, mmm, nope. Yeah, well, so Sandoval like flew out this like sound operator person to get like all the equipment and like maybe like fool me once.
Starting point is 00:31:27 I don't know or twice. I don't know. But like I think I'm seeing like this genuine like hiring sound guy side of Sandoval to him that like I just feel like when I met Sandoval 15 years ago, I was like, this is the sort of guy that would just like hire a sound guy for you if you're ever playing on a private island in San Francisco. And like it kind of happened. So like, I don't know, like, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:31:46 I think it like, maybe like he's having like, he's like changing or something. Oh my God, fuck off. And Ariana's eyes just say it all. She's like, I will kill you right now. Like just shut up. Yeah, and I'm hoping he's changing, he's becoming a better person.
Starting point is 00:31:59 Like, I just want to test it out. Like I'm gonna, I'm gonna take him to that like Frank, that Frank Sinatra karaoke club and just see if he suggests anybody hand me the mic. So Ariana's like, it's just the same thing over with Sheena. And I don't know why she thinks somehow she knows this man better than I do. But all right, girl, happy for you. Dare I say, you in danger, girl.
Starting point is 00:32:24 So Sheena's like, I just want to like continue to see if he's like on a path of like growth and like if maybe he'll hire a sound engineer for like you or like maybe for like Brock or like maybe for Lala I don't know like I feel like there's like so many sound engineers and like we all deserve them right and like maybe he's the one to do that for us so can I ask you a favor like I, he's my ex-boyfriend. I don't care about his past. And like, he's got a path of growth and I just hope he grows far away from me
Starting point is 00:32:53 and I hope he dies in a fire. And like, I just don't need to hear about it. You know what I mean? He does not deserve to be in my presence or read the same air as me. And that's not gonna change. She's like, I know, but like, here's the thing. Like, I wrote a song about apples, and he's got an iPhone, which is also an apple.
Starting point is 00:33:08 And it's like a sign from above that like we're supposed to be friends again, because like one time I was hungry, but he didn't even know it, and he offered me a piece of cake, which is not an apple, and I wasn't eating cake at the time, but I did eat it, but I was thinking about apples.
Starting point is 00:33:23 So we're kind of best friends now. Do you know what I mean? Do I have your approval? cake at the time, but I did eat it. But I was thinking about apples. So we're kind of best friends now. Do you know what I mean? Do I have your approval? Honestly, just please don't talk to me about a path of growth, okay? Cause I already have a path of growth. It's called a stye that's coming in right now.
Starting point is 00:33:35 Okay. So I'm focused on that if you don't mind. So then she was like, yeah, but like, I know it's like hard cause you say like no contact, but I also feel like you want like different apologies from him. She's like, no, but like, I know it's like hard because you say like no contact, but I also feel like you want like different apologies from him. She's like, no, no, I don't want him to ever speak to me again. I don't want apologies. Yeah, but like, remember when you said, oh, I apologize for things, you know, I said I might apologize and you said, well, well, am I ever going to get an apology too?
Starting point is 00:33:59 It's like, yeah, but I don't want him to apologize. Just it, I just think it just is like beyond him. That's all I'm saying. Yeah, but like, I just feel like last night, I just, I don't want him to apologize. I just think it's beyond him. That's all I'm saying. Yeah, but I just feel like last night, I just don't want an apology. Yeah, but there was a sound operator. But I'm making him apologize. She had five minutes. So she's like, do not bring him over here, basically is the subtext of this. And she's like, yeah, but I don't want to ever lose you or compromise our friendship. and I'm always going to have your back. I just feel like I can't run him off forever.
Starting point is 00:34:28 He brought me a sound guy. And Ariana's like, listen, I want him literally never to speak to me, but just because it doesn't mean I'm going to stop loving you, okay? We're not going to be connected anymore. So they hug. And Ariana's like, she's like, look, she tells us, I'm going to protect myself and I'm going to keep myself out of situations that I find hurtful or comfortable. But I never once said that I don't love her or I'm going to stop loving her or we're not
Starting point is 00:34:58 going to be connected anymore. And then they show a montage of all the times Ariana said, I will not have mutual friends with him. Yeah, if someone wants to be friends with him, they're dead to me. And dumping Schwartz for it. Being like, I will not have mutual friends with him. So we are not friends. I don't even, I'm not even comfortable with people talking about the concept of sand because it's too close to sand of all. Okay.
Starting point is 00:35:21 So then she was like, yeah, but I don't want to lose you. She goes, you're not losing me, you're my family. By the way, she's not speaking to her brother, I don't think so. That's a clusterfuck, that's a clusterfuck of a season. And by the way, that fucking Jeremy guy, he writes this text, and I text, he texts, Jeremy just texted me, I was like, you better not.
Starting point is 00:35:39 He wrote a tweet that was like, here therefore to out the fans of the Vanderpump rules this. You shall not judge someone based on the character of someone else's statements on the quality of the- what are you even fucking talking about Jeremy? He's trying to sound smart and like talking Shakespearean English to basically tell the fans to stop bullying him until they know the full story of what happened with him and his sister. He's like, hit that two fourth, good people. Be quiet, nobody cares about you, sir, okay? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:09 So they, so Ariana and she know, they're actually having a very nice moment because you can see right now, just in Ariana's eyes, what she, Ariana sees what Sheena's doing. And even though you can tell that Ariana is probably so annoyed with Sheena right now, And even though you can tell that Ariana is probably so annoyed with Sheena right now, she knows what her friend needs and she hugs her and that,
Starting point is 00:36:30 and she's like, you're never going to lose me. You're my family. Like, don't worry. And they have the really lovely sweet hug. They're kind of like crying. They give a little kiss and Ariana goes, you know, me and you were warriors and I don't want you to worry. You're never going to lose me. I can't lose you. You're my family. And then out of nowhere, Sandoval appears like out of like, it's this really nice moment. Then Sandoval just like there. And then I was like, bye. And she just bolts out of there. Like, oh, yeah,
Starting point is 00:37:01 because it's just so obvious, you know, it's like, and here it's there was Sheena to butter her up. And then here, March is saying, Hey, hey, it's me, she's a great job, by the way, she's a great job. And she just runs off. And he's like, wait one second, like she knows what you're gonna try and do. It's like, Yeah, and it's also so dick of him because they're having like a nice moment and he interrupts it. But he's also interrupting it because he wants to talk to Ariana
Starting point is 00:37:26 and knows he can have Sheena to help, you know, smooth over things and be a mediator. So Ariana's like, no. So she's strutting away. He's like, no, I just wanted to tell her I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry. Even though Schwartz already told him, don't tell her this tonight. Yeah. So then Sheena's like, don't do it. She doesn't want to talk to you. It's not happening. I already tried, okay? I already tried. A-P-P-L-A-S.
Starting point is 00:37:47 How do you like that? So then Jeremiah is over there like doing wings and he's like, Ariana, Ariana, don't do this, please, it's Jeremiah, I need a job, okay? Please, don't get me fired. And she's like, him fucking walking up on me talking to Sheena, he's like, I know, told him to do that. Did I say that? I didn't say that. I don I know, told him to do that. Did I say that? I didn't say that.
Starting point is 00:38:06 I don't know why he did that. Why would he have done that? I'm crazy. He doesn't give a shit if I died in a ditch or got a fucking deadly STD the way he was fucking around behind my back. That is non-informed consent and he does not deserve to speak to me.
Starting point is 00:38:19 He does not get access to me. So then she was like, so like she doesn't want to hear it from you, Santa ball. Like I told her about our conversation last night and she thinks that you're performative, like, and that I'm an idiot. So what, you know, what's funny? She knows me well enough to know that I'm like not performing. So hold on. I've got, I just have to, I just, I just booked a gig. I'm performing later on this week.
Starting point is 00:38:44 My performative, you cheated for months with your best friend and lied about it, sir. So Sheena's like, what do I mean to you? So now Sheena's mad because she's like, I just went to bat for you and I got swatted down. And he's like, you mean a lot to me, dude. She goes, because we're filming or because of life? And he's like, oh, I'm there.
Starting point is 00:39:02 I show up, you know? Hassan, look at hasan. Don't make me look like a fucking idiot, Tom. I'm like, you were the one on stage just now going, hey, people all around. Don't make me look like an idiot. You're dressed like C3PO. Pretending you're Britney Spears at a party for jewelry at Treasure Island. Like what? It all kind of feels like a soap opera cause they're all like those tuxedos and
Starting point is 00:39:27 ball gowns. And she's like, and she's like, huh, don't make me look like an idiot. And then she struts off and he's like, she's not. And she just disappears through red velvet drapes in her gold dress. It was like very campy. And then Billy leaves there too. She's like, um, are you okay? It's like, what happened? What happened, Tom? Like seriously, what happened? Are you coming to my show at the Laugh Factory?
Starting point is 00:39:49 And he's like, dude, Ariana's going around saying that I'm not being honest and that I perform it is. You know what it is? Ariana's fucking performing it. She doesn't even like any of these motherfuckers so she can fuck off saying I perform it is. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:40:04 So then we cut back over to Jeremiah and he's like, don't end like this, Ariana. Don't end like it. And she's like, no, it's all, it's about a performance to the audience. He wants 30 seconds with the audience. And she tells us, whatever it is that Tom is trying to get from me is not for me.
Starting point is 00:40:19 It's for him. I am the final boss in his video game of redemption. And because he can't get to the final boss, he's fucking pissed, which I thought was hilarious. Also, because it's like an inverted Super Mario Brothers, it's like you're playing Bowser trying to get to Mario. It's Bowser. Yeah. He just wants a chance to twirl Bowser by his tail.
Starting point is 00:40:36 And she's like, he will not touch my tail. Okay. This tale's going to Applebee's. And it is just such a perfect way of saying it, because the whole season is like having to knock down, you know, all the little bosses. Like, first you get Swords to forgive you, and then you get so-and-so to forgive you.
Starting point is 00:40:53 Then you have to have that conversation with Katie, where she doesn't throw a pan at your head, and then Lala forgives you, and then it's like the final forgiveness, and she's like, no, no, no. Commercials, here comes one right now. I'm Shimon Yai, and I have a new podcast called The Competition.
Starting point is 00:41:16 Every year, 50 high school senior girls compete in a massive scholarship competition. I wouldn't say I have an ego problem, but I'm extremely competitive. All of the competitors are used to being the best and the brightest, and they're all vying for a huge cash prize. This will probably be the most intense
Starting point is 00:41:36 that you've ever gone through in your life. I remember that feeling because I was one of them. I lost. But now I'm coming back as a judge and also a kind of teen girl anthropologist. Because if you want to understand what it's like to be a young woman in America today, the competition's not a bad place to start. Hopefully no one will die on station night. From Pineapple Street Studios and Wondry, this is The Competition. Follow The Competition on
Starting point is 00:42:03 the Wondry app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to the competition early and ad free right now by joining Wondry Plus. So she leaves with Dan and Brad and a random girl and they're gonna get a lift and Sandimol's like, you know what, if you don't wanna film with your ex, like don't be on the show. Like seriously, don't sit back on like your lazy ass
Starting point is 00:42:27 and collect a check for doing nothing. So I like how he is insisting that he's not performative and yet his argument is like, why are you coming on the show and not performing? Like I am. But also why is the definition of... Da da da da da da. Ch-ch. Da da da da da da. Chh chh.
Starting point is 00:42:46 Da da da da da da. I just remembered the final boss music. It's the Bowser Castle's music. The Bowser Castle. But technically that's just the underworld theme. That's just the regular. That's just underworld. Bowser's Castle is like,
Starting point is 00:42:56 blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub. Blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub. Oh, or is that, or actually was that Zelda? Hold on, I'm gonna look at Bowser Castle. Bowser Castle's like, blabla, blabla, blabla, blabla, blabla, blabla, blabla, blabla, blabla, blabla, blabla, blabla, blabla, blabla, blabla, I think I was doing Zelda before.
Starting point is 00:43:14 Oh, well there's a bunch of, hold on, let me see how this sounds. I'll just look a little bit. There's also, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, there's also, starting in Super Mario Brothers 3, that other castle music, which I always feel like is not very scary sounding. It's like, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum,
Starting point is 00:43:38 bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, the ship music, right? That's the ship when you're on the airship. Well, it's also, it's just bad music, but it's also one of the Bowser Castle's themes. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:50 I know which one you're talking about. Yeah. Okay, so anyway, I don't like this. So Tom's going off about how she's so lazy and won't earn a check. Why does earning a check mean she has to sit there and take your fake bullshit? She's still showing up to shoot this show.
Starting point is 00:44:04 She is. She doesn't have to shoot with you. And it's ridiculous that you get to go fuck somebody over and then it's their job to come on and what, scream at you about it or cry with you about it? No, you fucked that up. You don't just have the right to shoot with whoever you want, that's bullshit. If she was just staying at home, that's one thing,
Starting point is 00:44:21 but she's not. Yeah, so Santa Claus, now he's furious because he can't have his redemption arc. So he starts, you know, spiraling and he goes up to everyone and she goes, she doesn't fuck with you guys on the wheel. She fucking talks about all of you guys. She doesn't show up for your shit. She's not going to come to your thing. I'm going to come because when push comes to shove, I want autographs.
Starting point is 00:44:44 OK, I'm fucking come, because when push comes to shove, I want autographs, okay? I'm fucking there, dude. Okay, let's see. We all know what you've done with Katie. You've been nasty to her for years. You've called basically Lala a hoe how many times, or insinuated how many times. Like, please stop acting like you're some saint and the only person that truly likes anybody.
Starting point is 00:45:03 Give me a fucking break with that. And then he shows up. Yeah, it's like, I always show up. And she was like, I know, Tom, I know. You have been there for me. That's why I'm struggling, because you have been a good friend. He's like, I'm so sorry.
Starting point is 00:45:15 I made that up for you and it kills me. I'm trying to be a good person again, even though I just like totally let my mask fall. But I know you have to put up with a lot. I know I'm amazing and everybody hates you. she's not bad. Just fucking losing it. And then Sandoval's like, you know, I know it's going to be like really hard for people who stick by me or like stick up for me. And we see like slow-mo shots of these heroic people like James and Schwartz and Lala who've founded a place in their heart to forgive Sandoval. And he's like, these people haven't even forgiven me.
Starting point is 00:45:48 These people haven't even forgiven me. They're just recognizing me as a person and they're just still going to get a relentless amount of hate for that. And then there's just like all these tweets being like, fuck Lala, fuck James, James is awful. Lala's a piece of shit. Oh my God, she knows, she sucks.
Starting point is 00:46:04 Yeah, but also look up tweets from every single season and you'll still find those tweets because that's Twitter. And that's just how the internet works, you know? I mean, they are taking shit for it, but they take shit for everything. And guess what? It's usually consequences of their actions on television that they're taking shit for.
Starting point is 00:46:20 And this is another example of that, you know? So Ariana's people are going to Applebee's, they're like making Applebee's happen, which I like, because you know, I used to work there, I was a good apple until I was a bad apple, and then I was- They're gonna eat good in the neighborhood today. Unsurphoniously dropped from the tree.
Starting point is 00:46:36 What then? They're gonna eat good in the neighborhood. So Lala is now talking to Sheena in Sandoval, and she's like, I have this my own point of view that I've been biting my tongue because it's very hard to do this. And it's a lot of breaking the fourth wall. So I'm going to do it now. This happened to her. The world rallied around her. And she now thinks she is Beyonce's.
Starting point is 00:47:01 And it's bullshit that she can't film with somebody that she says she says under the same roof with it's a lot It's a lot that she's saying don't fuck with Tom Sandoval don't fuck with Tom Sandoval But I'm gonna sleep down the fucking hall from Tom Sandoval. I get it He cheated you did a really fucking shitty thing Tom hot dog fingers But it was weird how you looked us all in the eye and said a lot of shit But he did not kill somebody enter and enter Rand for a pickleball hangout day with the boys, please. I know, and like, I'm gonna get, I'm, you know what?
Starting point is 00:47:32 I'm gonna go back up there, okay, cause this is unfair. And Lala's like, no, she moved on eight days later, okay? Eight days. I remember, I agree with you. I just wanna know that you're like, I want you to know that you're like not alone in this. Yeah, man, like we have to have like tough conversations. Like not easy, man. It's like I've never in my life's experience, someone who gets cheated on and
Starting point is 00:47:53 suddenly she becomes God's okay. Oh, God. And when that quote came out on the trailer, when that trailer dropped and she said that everyone's like, Oh my God, fucking Lala betraying Ariana. She went on to watch or happens live and she said that and everyone was like, oh my God, fucking Lala betraying Ariana. She went on to watch or happens live and she said, no, I think you're gonna see when that happens in the season. Like I love Ariana and I think you're gonna see in that part of the season, the context of it that I was being a really good friend
Starting point is 00:48:18 in that moment. I was like, I don't know. And she was like, and who knows? People are probably gonna agree with me by the end of this. It's like, and who knows? People are probably gonna agree with me by the end of this. It's like, no, not really. Contacts are not, contacts was exactly what we thought it was. So we all know that Lala is just bitter
Starting point is 00:48:33 because she was hoping to have this whole, you know, victim Lala thing after the Rand stuff happened and she didn't get it and Ariana stole her thunder. And I'm just, you know, lover or hater, I'm really glad that Lala is gonna get a chance at a really positive storyline this season with the whole pregnancy thing. That's gonna be great to watch on T. Oh, sorry, yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:56 Those cameras are gonna miss that whole thing. IG Live it is. Yeah, Amazon Live, get ready for a lot of baby content. Roku TV. See you there. So, um, I'm like Shell station, gas pump, television. She's like, I've got to get my 10 seconds in. So she's like, I love filming this show because it's real and I find it to be tremendously skilling and for Ariana to walk out this way, it's just such a slap in the face. This is what we do. We've been doing it for most of our adult lives.
Starting point is 00:49:31 And so when she says for Ariana to walk out this way, she says it in a way that sounds like she's walking out on the show, right? Because people walk out of a shooting date all the time. Like people leave the set and are like, I'm going home. Like that's nothing new. But here she, for her to highlight, for Ariana to walk out this way as a slap in the face, it sounds like Ariana quit or something. So now we see like all this vintage footage, we see like Lala sitting
Starting point is 00:49:55 down for what we assume is her first interview. And then we see Sheena and everyone's faces look different. And there's like this jazzy nostalgic song playing that's like, faces look different and there's like this jazzy nostalgic song playing that's like and we see uh sandoval ariana looks like she's 12 years old when she sits down she's such a baby and then james looks largely the same actually which is kind of funny to me and katie sits there and she has like this she she has this statement necklace. It looks like a piece of metal fell from the sky and splattered on her chest. But I love that everybody they're like, Oh my God, look how happy young they are. And then it just cuts to Katie younger going like,
Starting point is 00:50:37 no, she was still, she was still doing the same thing. Shorts. I died. I just think that was so funny. It's like, no, no matter what the face morphs into, it's always, NBC young Schwartz who like, oh yeah, that's right. He was a model. And so, uh, then we just, we start seeing all these. Never really any proof of that. Let's be honest. He did an underwear ad once. Right.
Starting point is 00:51:04 And remember it And remember it. Remember it. Yes, I do actually. They were like, Tom, you should do some pushups and some sit ups and some starvation. He was like, come on guys, it's been a while. I've still got it right, right. And they're like, no, Tom.
Starting point is 00:51:18 Schwartz used to do the, like he was definitely like in that like JCPenney Labor Day sale, you know, commercial like three days left for the JCPenney sale. And he was like there holding like JC Penney Labor Day sale, you know, commercial like three days left for the JC Penney sale. And he was like, they're holding like a beach ball. So then we start seeing scenes from the show from all these years, like we see Kristin, we see Stasi, we see like everyone, and we see like breakups, we see crying, we see fights. It's like the show is like pausing right now to take a look back at what's happened and watch these lives and where it's gone. And I'm like, are they gearing up for a series finale here?
Starting point is 00:51:53 Is that like, what is happening? I don't know because they've dropped so many hints. Like Sheena and Lala both just bought really big expensive houses in the Valley. So it seems like obvious that they're gonna move there. If it was just La La, I wouldn't think that that was a huge thing. But Sheena doing it, I mean, Sheena's a beach girl.
Starting point is 00:52:10 Sheena's insistent on living at Playa or Marina. So for her to move to the Val is super bizarre. So it seems like they're gonna be making a move. I don't know, because the show is still getting great ratings, you know? Yeah, like maybe is there gonna be like a wholesale recast? I don't think- I don't know, because the show is still getting great ratings, you know? Yeah, like maybe is there going to be like a wholesale recast? I don't know, but you have to think that the producers were in the meetings going, what the fuck are we doing?
Starting point is 00:52:34 Like we had to bring Joe in, like Joe's like not even in the cast. Like we had to bring Joe in to get yelled at by Katie. And we had to try and force another Tom versus Ariana because literally nothing is happening. Like we're on a cast trip, two people went to bed early to watch Housewives in bed and went to sleep with the lights still on. Like, what are we doing? They're probably freaking out. Poor Jeremiah is over there like trying to snort coke off of, you know, a PA's ass. Like, just keep me going kid. Just keep me going. Like they've got to be freaking out. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:05 And Lala says, we've all experienced high highs and low lows, so should we show the footage of Rand ordering those chicken breasts again? And there is a responsibility that comes with living your life on camera. You have to be truthful, even when it's extremely uncomfortable. Oh, really? Okay. Hey, Spider-Man. Lala, the paragon of virtue over there.
Starting point is 00:53:26 And then she even adds in at some point, because this becomes like a 10-minute Lala monologue, which is super weird. Now they're centering Lala as the lead of this show, like the moral compass of this show, which is just fucking bizarre. And they give her this really long, slow-motion monologue to us, like, talking about the lessons of Vanderpump rules
Starting point is 00:53:45 and what it really means to be a reality TV star and what it means to be honest. When Lala has done nothing but fucking lie on this show, what is she talking about? And then she even references, yeah, I've lived untruths on this show once and I know how painful it was. And then they cut to her lying about being in a married guy
Starting point is 00:54:03 when she was dating Rand as the one time that she was ever untruthful on this show. Are you fucking kidding me? You're still spending the whole season like, I had no idea there was a casting couch. What are you talking about? She's done nothing but lie her entire time on this show. Am I taking crazy pills?
Starting point is 00:54:24 No, I mean, I just, you know, it's Lala. It's Lala, yeah. And that's her character. It's just so funny that she's building this thing up like, and part of being on Vanderpump Roof is being a truth teller. Okay. With great powers comes great responsibilities.
Starting point is 00:54:43 And she's like, and you know, I was, I'd lied one single time and it was suffocating. And I don't think Tom and Ariana were ever honest about their relationship until Tom was caught cheating. And you think you can, you get to be honest for one moment and then you get to pack it all away and all is good. Fuck that. And so it's almost like, so now I'm like, maybe did Ariana get fired? Did Ariana quit?
Starting point is 00:55:07 Did she get fired? I'm just so confused. I'm trying to like read between the lines here. So now we're back at the party and there's like split screens and we're watching Ariana and her crew taking the longest walk of all time to their lift. I mean, they've been walking for 10 minutes. We've been watching them walk across Treasure Island, across the Bay Bridge to get to their lift. And meanwhile, everyone's at the party and Katie is like, sometimes you just have to like stick to your fucking boundaries. And like, if your piece is more important than that, then fucking stand your ground. And Ariana's like, we all live these difficult parts of our lives on camera. But if it's something that actually really mattered to you regardless, he would do it anyway and he never tried to call me off-camera
Starting point is 00:55:46 He would have he could have written something in a fucking letter on the kitchen counter and I could have read it at my leisure Which is hilarious. She would have thrown it out immediately We all know and it was but if you'd only do it on camera to me, you just showed your true colors Yeah What I mean you have a point Like when you're only willing to, when you're only making an effort to apologize, first of all, after Sheena tells you exactly what you need to apologize for is insane.
Starting point is 00:56:12 And that you're only willing to do that on camera at a season finale, cause Jeremiah is trying to make you, is like not real, right? So then Lala's acting like she's so emotional now. She's like, well, it fucking happens. I broke and I promised myself I wouldn't break. Oh. And then Ariana drives off in a Tesla
Starting point is 00:56:35 and we just hear, we don't see it. We just hear on the mics. Jeremiah goes, that's the end guys. And Schwartz says, that was a fucking plot twist. Lala breaking down like that. And the Sandoval goes, I love it. It's good for me. Like just showing what a piece of shit he is all the way to the very last line. Oh yeah. How is there? He's like, I got her off the show,
Starting point is 00:56:58 but we have to figure it out and we've seen some clips from the, uh, do you think that's what it meant? What do you think he meant? I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I think, do you think that's what it meant? What are you thinking about? I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I think that, I think that's what it meant. It sounded like he was talking about Lala, breaking down and finally turning on Ariana publicly. Everyone basically turning on Lala. I'm Ari. I'll be all of the above. It's all of the above. I think like Ari, I like Lala saying it, Ariana leaving it's it's the vibe feels like she quit or got fired.
Starting point is 00:57:24 I don't know if it's true it's, the vibe feels like she quit or got fired. I don't know if it's true. She obviously shows up at the reunion. The reunion looks very emotional and, and they apparently didn't really see this finale and they made them watch it at the reunions. That way they could get raw emotion. Oh,
Starting point is 00:57:38 Did you know that? No, well, Lala keeps saying, if there was something unprecedented that happens at this reunion. It's never happened before and it changed us everything. And I wonder if that's what she meant. Maybe that's what it is. They showed a teaser like yesterday that was like them watching,
Starting point is 00:57:56 or they saw some of the finale, but not all of it. So then now they all watched it and now they're all like reacting to that. Yeah, they worked out. I wonder, because we watch these, we're watching this early, so we don't know the reaction to it from everybody yet, right?
Starting point is 00:58:13 And a lot of times they don't announce anything until after the finale's aired. So I wonder if there is, I wonder if she did quit or if she did get fired. That'll be interesting if this airs and that happens. I didn't get that impression, but now that you say it, I do, because you know, although I believe in everything, I'm very easily swayed, but I didn't get that impression.
Starting point is 00:58:32 It would make sense why that goes on pause. Like it makes sense, like the pause is, well, aside from the fact that Ariana is shooting Love Island this summer and is going back to Chicago, so she won't be around, But like if Ariana indeed has left the show for whatever reason, they probably are taking this as a moment to be like, okay, let's like this, this chapter is over, Scandival is over. Let's take a moment to rethink like who's on the show. What are we going to focus on? Who are our stars? Yada, yada, yada. So I don't think it's like,
Starting point is 00:59:03 I don't think the show needs to be on pause because nothing is working. I think they just, they needed to have a recovery season from what happened. It was never gonna be a super like silly season. For me, the season, I loved it. I loved it. I was into it the whole time.
Starting point is 00:59:19 I thought it was a good season. I thought it was a good season. I didn't think it was a terrible season. I just think it's, you know, I think that the, you start relying on these shows, they start relying on the thing that made it big. It's like last season was a scandal, so this season has to be scandal all the time.
Starting point is 00:59:36 Like they think that people just want that all the time. And it's like, okay, it's 15 episodes later into this, and you're still trying to make the same conversation happen about an affair that now to us, like, okay, it's 15 episodes later into this and you're still trying to make the same conversation happen about an affair that now to us, the audience is over a year old. And it's just like, stop trying to make it happen. It just doesn't make any sense.
Starting point is 00:59:53 But I still like the show. I thought all this stuff that was non-Scandival stuff was actually pretty funny stuff. You know, even the second half seemed to sort of move away from Scandival a bit. And then they kind of brought it all the way back again for this finale, but it's fine. I, I'm looking forward to the reunion. I just, I thought it was fun.
Starting point is 01:00:11 I just had a fit today because I was like, I can't have another conversation about Tom being a piece of shit. Three part reunion coming your way. We get to go off to Europe in the heat of, in the midst of a Vanderpump rules reunion spree. So that's something we can look forward to. Anyway, thank you everyone for being here and for listening. And we will catch you. We still have the Valley and Summerhouse this week. So gird your loins. There's a lot to discuss. Thanks everyone. And we'll catch you on the next one. Bye!
Starting point is 01:00:47 Bye! She's a Daniella. Itchels! Erin McNicholas. She don't miss no trickles. She's never scary. It's the green fairy. Jamie. She has no less namey. Hava Nagila Webber. Know your worth with Jason Kurtz. Sip some scotch with Jessica Tratch. She's always supplying.
Starting point is 01:01:17 It's Kelly Ryan. Kristen the Piston Anderson. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. We wanna hang with Liz Lang! Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg! The Bay Area Betches, Betches! And our super premium sponsors! Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD!
Starting point is 01:01:36 We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva! Let's get real with Kaitlyn O'Neal! Don't get salty with Christine Pepper! Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. We forever love Ava. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish, it's Jen Plish. She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch.
Starting point is 01:01:55 She's a little bit loony, Junie. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. We love him madly, it's Kyle Pod Shadley. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender, the incredible, edible Matthews Sisters. Give him hell, Miss Noelle. Ring that bell for Rochelle. She's the queen bee, it's Sarah Lemke. Shannon out of a cannon, Anthony.
Starting point is 01:02:18 Let's take off with Tamla Plain. She ain't no shrinkin' violet Coutar. We love you guys. Hey Prime members, you can listen to Watch or Crap and add free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen ad free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.