Watch What Crappens - #2421 RHONJ, Part 1 S14E02: Twit For Brains

Episode Date: May 13, 2024

*This is part 1 of a 2 parter*The Real Housewives of New Jersey (S14E02) celebrates Nate’s brain surgery with a party down the shore, and the women gather in teams and vow to ignore each other the rest of the season. Who will win this cold war? And why is it Olivia? Grab tickets for our European tour at watchwhatcrappens.com Watch this recap as a video and get our bonus episodes at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hi, I'm Misha Brown and I'm the host of Wondery's podcast, The Big Flop. Each episode, comedians join me to chronicle one of the biggest pop culture fails of all time and try to answer the age-old question, who thought this was a good idea? Follow The Big Flop wherever you get your podcasts. Watch What Crappens! Watch What Crappens! Watch What Crappens! Who cares what happens when this Watch What Crappens! Watch What Crappens! Watch What Crappens!

Who cares what happens when this Watch What Crappens! Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens! Hi everybody, I'm Ronnie, that's Ben over there. Hi Ben! Hi Ronnie, how are you? Good. I'm so excited to be here.

It's Monday everybody. Love Mondays over here at Watch What Craffins. Real Housewives of New Jersey day. So we're gonna talk about that. And we're gonna end this recap with a catch up of Summer House Maltesers Vignette. What are you mad at me for? It's only a flamingo.

It was a flamingo. Then tonight is crappy hour. That is our live Instagram, Instagram live, live on Instagram live show. Every other Monday talking Bravo gossip. Got a lot of stuff there coming up. So if you want to talk to us, that's at five 30 Pacific time over on Instagram live. You can also find that on YouTube under watch what crappens, which is our name and get bonus episodes and video recaps at our Patreon, watchwhatcrappens.com slash Patreon. Also going to Europe this week.

We're so excited. The week. You know what? This is the last week that we're Americans because we are leaving after this, okay? Also we're gonna find our people. The fact that it's not just that we're going to Europe, it's that like in like four days,

we're going to be in Scandinavia. I don't know, that's so amusing to me. Like Ben and Ronnie in Scandinavia. We're going to be in Sweden because before we get to London, we're going to Sweden to see Taylor Swift, of course. And our tickets did, our links finally came through. So we actually have tickets. I'm so excited.

Well, that's good. So that'll be super exciting. And you know what's a good thing about being ignorant like me? so excited. Well, that's good. So that'll be super exciting. And you know, what's a good thing about being ignorant like me, because, and listen, I love myself. I'm not being a self-hater, but I was a dummy when I was a kid and just did not pay attention to certain classes. I was one of those kids who's like, I don't need math. Why would I pay attention to math? And now I'm like, why do I owe more taxes? I just don't understand. Because I never learned math. Okay. And another thing I never learned was geography. Okay.

And so you know how in planes now, you know, on the little TV in front of you, they'll show where your plane is going and all everything you're flying over. I don't know any, I don't know where anything is. And I'm trying to memorize it on the plane and I, and that's America. I don't know where shit is in America. Can you imagine how it's going to be outside of America? I have no idea what I'm about to do.

I feel like an alien coming to this planet. We're going to give you the hilarious. We're going to give you like the little flag that they have on how old or like old enough, I should say, with the little children, you know, like do like errands, like fetch milk from the grocery. They're like two years old and they're like walking down the streets in Japan. And they have like a little flag and like a little sash that says like, like, I'm on my first errand or something. It'll be like you, you'll have like a little cap.

It'll be like my first trip. But to be fair, it's, it is daunting. I mean, I'm, I'm acting like I'm some years like wizened European traveler. I've been to Europe, I think three times over the past 15 years. And it's scary. Like I'm taking Finnish airlines to get to Sweden. I have to have a layover in Helsinki. And I'm like, what is it like taking, oh, sorry, it's called Fin Air. I'm gonna be on a, but it's gonna be Finland themed. I mean, is all the food gonna be Finnish?

I think I speak English on the airplane. What am I gonna do? I'm gonna be on that thing for so long. I don't know what this experience is going to be like. I get it. I hear finish and I immediately start feeling pressure. Like I'm naked and my foopa's out. Someone's going, finish, finish, finish. And I just, the whole thing is stressful to me. I'm not really sure how I'm going to deal with it, but I'm very excited. And then I went to LA this weekend to look at places to move because I want to go back to LA part

time, which was my original plan. So there's just so many things up there. So many changes. And guess what? I'm not a very change oriented person these days. I've grown very set in my ways. And so I'm a little scared, but also very excited. Okay. So you know what, everybody? That's my personal update. That's great. Well, I didn't ask for it, but there you go. There it is. Speaking of foreign countries, let's talk about New Jersey. Shall we? Yeah. We're talking of speaking of people who never learn anything. Let's talk about the cast of Real Housewives of New Jersey. That's gonna be happening today. Oh, but before that, so tonight everyone we, oh, you mentioned crappy hour, didn't you? You did all that. Let's move forward into the future. So, uh, Real Housewives of New Jersey, it's episode two of this season. Um,

I'm still really enjoying it. Um, I don't know why I'm adding still. I don't know why I should ask, say still as if it's going to expire. I have to say I'm enjoying it so far. I am enjoying this season. Uh, this week, we got our taglines and what's funny about the Real Housewives of New Jersey taglines, and I don't know, I can't say authoritatively which other franchises do this, but definitely with New Jersey, they always punctuate their taglines with little sound bites, like a random thing. Like when there was the one with Teresa where it was like something about thing, like, uh, like when there was the one with Theresa, where it was like something about pineapples, she goes, I'm so sweet or whatever it was,

they always put those things in. So we got not only the taglines, but we got the sound bites that will accompany them for the season. Yeah. And, um, no, I was, I was just going to say like a lot of them were just like squeals and noises, but like there were definitely like two that stood out to me. The first one, the first one being Dolores, where she says, I'm a girl from Patterson. And then she just goes, hello. That's how they're like, how do we illustrate Patterson? What says Patterson? We really need to make that line sing. Salami, no, I don't like that one.

Let's cut the salami. Bread animals, no, something more Patterson. Kick your motherfucking ass, you look at me twice. No, no, we don't wanna go there in the opening. Hello, Patterson, that's so Patterson. That's Patterson. That is the hello of a woman who has moved in with her boyfriend, Paulie.

That is not a new work hello. Yeah. I'll tell you what that is. That is the Patterson hello. That is the Patterson hello. The other one was Jennifer Aiden, but you know, why don't we just go through these taglines and we'll do the Jennifer Aiden noise

when we get to Jennifer Aiden. What was Melissa's tagline last year? Do we remember what it is? I'm only asking because I need evidence that Melissa Gorgia tagline. What season is this, Ben? This is season 14. Yeah. Season 13.

This is just to illustrate that Melissa Gorgia has like literally the dumbest taglines of anybody of any franchise. I'm not saying something, but let's see. Melissa Gorga, season 13. Melissa, last year, hers was, you'll never see how toxic someone is until you breathe fresher air.

Which I think is funny, because it's like just dissing the bad air. Yeah. In her house and in New Jersey. This one is, it's hard not to burn bridges when you're on fire. So I guess that fresh air is sort of gone. I guess we're now smoky. Um, this Gorgas on fire. Oh gosh. Um, and then you had Dolores and then.

The full Dolores line is, I'm a girl from Patterson. Hello. Hello. Playing Switzerland, dating an Irishman. Goodbye. Did she really say goodbye? No, I just added that to create like an arc. Sorry, I don't understand sarcasm.

As a sarcastic person, I never really. It wasn't really sarcastic, it was just me revising, yeah. So then as Danielle. I'm bouzy, I'm bothered, and above your drama. You know, okay, by the way, we... Okay, I have to say, I actually like Melissa's, it's hard not to burn bridges when you're on fire. That's okay. I think that's okay. Dolores, I'm a girl from Patterson playing Switzerland, dating an Irishman.

I see what they're going for there. Uh, I don't know. To me it's not quite as good as, what was it? Um, a Jew and a Chinese man walk into a bar and they had me, which was Jules Weinstein. Yeah, that was Jules Weinstein. As long as we're talking about ethnicity or geography. But Danielle's is a little generic for me. I'm bougie, unbothered, and above your drama.

There's no wordplay and there's no rhyming. It's just her listing things. Well, it's also untrue because she ends the season, I believe, getting either fired or demoted or something happened to her and Jen Aiden get in a fight. And I think that she either throws a drink or she throws a glass at someone's head or someone throws a glass.

Listen, I'm not accusing crazy Jersey fans, okay? Don't come after, I'm just saying, there's like a violent fight that they both get in a lot of trouble for. So this whole like, I'm so bothered, I'm above saying there's like a violent fight that they both get in a lot of trouble for. So this whole like, I'm so bothered. I'm above your drama. Like no, you're not. Yeah.

So then Marge is like, well, but you're taking cheap shots. I'm taking screenshots, which is another Marge just dropping confessions in her thing. And then she's going to spend the whole season being like, what do you mean? I have evidence on people. I don't take evidence from people. I know. Remember last year, her thing was like, I may not be a detective, but I'm following you or something. And then she was like, what are you talking about?

I don't collect evidence on people. I don't have a vault. Yeah, there's no vault. There's nothing in the vault. The only thing in the vault is that Laura is short, stumpy, and a court reporter who never made it on reality TV. And that's it. Congratulations.

You may be a short court reporter who never made it on reality TV and that's it, congratulations. You may be a short court reporter, but I'm not short. Who says I called Laura short? Who are you talking about? She just confesses and then denies whatever she confessed in her tagline the rest of the season. Rachel Fooders is so Rachel Fooder. It's like, if you don't have my back, at least have backbone.

I can just see her just like saying that with wide eyes to the camera. Like seriously, get a backbone. Like don't you understand what I just said there? Cause I said back and then backbone. It's, it's wordplay. She just has this way of like looking at people and just blinking like wide eyed, just very annoyed. Like if you don't have my back, at least have my back. She has that way of blinking, like she's been in line for two hours

and she's just trying not to yell at you. Like, you just got here, this is your second season. I don't know why the FUTAs are acting like they're 20-year vets who have been putting up with this nonsense forever. You are new, you are lucky to be here. I don't know why you guys are acting like, they're both like, can you believe it? We are not gonna make a scene.

And then John Fuda spends a whole time going, you know what, if I have to make a scene, I'm not gonna make a scene, but I'm not gonna make a scene. I don't wanna talk about it. You know what I wanna do? Not talk about it. I'll tell you that much.

Okay, let's get Fuda in here. Hey everybody, hey, hey, hey, it's John Fuda. Don't wanna talk about it, okay? Drug addict, me, dildos in my ass? I don't wanna talk about it. What are we gonna talk about? The dildos in my ass? I'm not gonna talk about it, okay? That's what I don't want to talk about it. Okay, don't want drug addict, me, dildos in my ass. I don't want to talk about it. What are we going to talk about? The dildos in my ass?

I'm not going to talk about it. Okay, that's what I don't want to do. Sir, would you like to order something? Not a dildo in my ass. I don't want to fucking talk about it. I'll tell you that right now. Fucking talk about it. Drug deal in my ass.

Yeah, he is very much more involved. Last season he just sort of sat back and was like, yeah, what's she gonna do? But now he's all feisty. This is why everybody shouldn't be thin. It brings a certain confidence that not everybody's ready for. Like not everybody needs to hear about your dildos

and your ass and your drug dealing over and over again. And you're not a housewife, calm yourself, sir. With great hunger comes great responsibility. That's what they say. So then we have Jennifer Aiden who goes, friends are like handbags, a big doll. responsibility. That's what they say. So then we have Jennifer Aiden who goes, friends are like handbags. She just yells bingo in the middle of her line. Friends are like handbags. Bingo baby. It's a bingo better. The bingo branded handbag better.

I like how flowery she gets her own because because she goes friends are like handbags bingo The fake ones are all too easy to spot They're all too easy Lady who had your entire house of furniture made as like knockoffs from China What are you talking about fake handbags get out of here here. Haven't we ever heard of a tagline like this? Isn't that Kyle Richards? Didn't Kyle Richards say, like, in this town full of luxury,

I can always spot a fake? Right? Yeah, I'm sure. I think that's... Yeah, that sounds about right. Especially the in this town thing. Well, I mean, I think I added that part. In this town, in Beverly Hills,

but I'm from Beverly Hills in this town, and this town is from Beverly Hills and me. I've been to this town, but I've never been to me in this town, even though I'm from this town. Spot a fake. I'm sure there's a tagline in here somewhere. I don't know. Either way, I'm just living for the Jennifer Aiden one mainly because she goes bingo in the middle

of it. Oh, here it is. It is. I'm an expert on luxury and I can always spot a fake. I think that is, I think that was Carl Richards. Yeah. So good to know that I'm keeping all this bullshit in my brain. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. And Magali, the one and only Magali from Real Households Cheshire, her line was when you are a real diamond, you can spot a fake a mile off. Oh, actually that was season two. Cause our season one tagline was this Ronnie, you remember this Ronnie, you remember this tagline from Magali when you cross me, you better don't cross me. Don't mess with Magali.

One of my favorite taglines I had completely forgotten about actually wasn't Magali's at all. So Reddit sent me down the wrong path and I take it all back, but it did make me remember Magali's original tagline, which was when you cross me, you better don't cross me. Don't mess with Magali. Don't mess with Magali. That's the best one of all time. I mean, there have been some really creative housewife

taglines, but Magali's was the best. When you mess with me. You mess with me, you better not mess with me. It's like one, here's concept number one, and then the second concept, don't mess with Magali. Don't mess with Magali. Okay. So the last tagline for Jersey is Theresa. You could try to tear me down,

but this tree just keeps on growing. I've never heard someone prouder of being compared to a tree. I know. Teresa, wow. It's a good, but I have to say, I think that's a good line. Well, Teresa's, that's always, it's always tree. I may have flipped the table, but I do the tree pose now. Heh, heh, heh the tree pose now.

So, um, now we're going to see everyone. So the, the night before was this party that, uh, Rachel Fuda had, um, I'm sorry, it was the surprise party for Jen fast load that Rachel threw. So now it's the next day. Um, we're seeing different kids doing different things around that, around all of New Jersey, you know, dogs peeing in the corner, Joe Gorka changing dog, diapers, things like that. Yeah. Um, what, what is it on this channel? Does anybody raise their dog? The dogs just piss everywhere on this channel.

I would put my dog down if it was like that everywhere. Like still, I mean, like when they're puppies, you get it, but you train them eventually. But I mean, I guess we should look at Joe. Joe Gorgas was never trained. Why should we expect the fucking puppy to? You know, probably pees in the corner too. Yeah, I mean, honestly, exhibit A, Milo.

I mean, do I need to say more? Need I say more? I love Milo. He's a star. But yeah, this dog, Melissa Gorgas dog is annoying and peas everywhere and they have a diaper on it. And he's like, yeah, chase him. Go get, go get the dog. Like what are you going to do? Go get the dog. Cause he, he pees. And Melissa's like, he won't let me catch him. Yeah, that's, that's chase. That's how chase works.

He won't let me catch him. Such a passive way to approach, like such a passive worldview. I can't go after the dog because he won't let me pass him to catch him. Yeah. So then we go to the Aiden's. Bingo.

Bingo. We're gonna have a snack, baby. They're ordering school supplies and my favorite, Olivia, my little eagle is here and I'm just happy. You know, I have a night with Olivia and Milo on my TV. My favorite Bravo stars of them, my favorite Bravo friend ofs, the child Olivia, who's the eagle and Milo, who's another kind of eagle,

he's a little dog eagle. Who will someday probably be eaten by an eagle. Let's be honest. Yeah, so Olivia's like, I think this is the latest we've ever gotten our school supplies. Because they're ordering some pencils or whatever for her to go back to school.

Yeah, and Jennifer's like, Oh my God, Olivia, we didn't even get your backpack yet, Olivia, what are we gonna do? And Olivia says, Can we get my vampire's diary backpack so I can see my celebrity crush every day and then she looks at at Gabby and she's like why do you look at me like I'm some weirdo kid and Gabby goes because that's

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So then we go over to Danielle's house and Valentina's getting new headshots, okay? So let's have a family day. Here's her family, Danielle, Nate, Valentina, Dominic, okay? So they go to get photos taken and Danielle's like, hey, look at this, we'll get photos. It's like a mystical vibe in here, it's mystical. It's all bougie, that is my brand. Bougie pictures. I want pictures,

but I want a bougie. Yeah. I feel like this is like, it's a real indictment on New Jersey when you have to like go into like a sterile soundstage and to find something that feels mystical. Like, Oh wow, this is, this now, now this is mystical in here. This is nice. This is what I'm talking about. So the lady's like, um, okay, this is now this is mystical in here. This is nice. This is what I'm talking about. So the lady's like, OK, whatever. Like, hi, nice to meet you. I'm Nicole.

So they start figuring out their look and everything. And Danielle's like, so Valentina just shined with a professional talent agency because she is so smart. But when the last time we did headshots, she was two years old. So we need some new ones. And it was totally my idea to get Valentina's shot. So she's just like talking about how she's basically a stage mom right now.

Yeah, she's like, she's gonna be a star. She's gonna win an Oscar one day. I see it coming. Valentina. And Valentina's like, I'm hungry. I'm gonna sit down. Like, shut up, you're gonna be a star. You're gonna be a star or not.

So Danielle's like, yeah, this is this is pretty much a chaos. It's gonna be New York Fashion Week. Just a heads up. Just a heads up. We're going to New York Fashion Week. Are they even trying over there anymore? New York Fashion Week? Are you fucking kidding me? What are you doing there? Does it just mean there are you invited there? I was like, are you just going to New York while fashion week is happening or are you part of New York fashion week? Cause this does not make any sense. I cannot understand how Danielle Cabral's fashions could ever be in the same

lineup as you know, anything that Anna Wintour is sitting down to see. Well, and that we're bringing it up. Remember when Kyle's caftans, wasn't it Kyle's caftans that got to go to Fashion Week? Beverly Hills went. Yes. Or was it Lisa or something or Sutton or somebody got Kyle's caftans in there or? But I wonder if it was like out of competition, you know?

Like, you know how movies premiere at the Cannes Film Festival but they're not really in the Cannes Film Festival. They just show them in Cannes at the same time. So it feels like they're at the Cannes film festival. Like most in Crappens does. Yeah. Like South by Southwest. We're like, guys, we're in South by Southwest. We're playing the parking garage on Rainey Street. And we're not part of the official itinerary. Yeah. That's our style. Let's, hey, you know what? I can respect that. So it's kind of making me make it. Yeah. Yeah. So I can tell you just don't make it just have you know, fake it till you stake it.

You know, they can take it. Just find another rhyme to make that to make everything that you're doing worth it. Fake it till you stay. You got a stake after. Yeah. So she's talking about how her brand is doing really well. And she's just like, I am beyond proud. Her thing that she does now is that she squishes her head all the way back into her neck and then looks up at the ceiling. She goes, I am beyond, which since this is an audio format, as it is a podcast,

you'll just have to imagine me doing that. Cause that's what I just did. So, uh, she's like, I just been so crazy with everything with life and with business. I mean, I'm looking forward to, by the way, I'm looking forward to celebrating you too, Nate, by the way, because you had your surgery. He's like, yeah, thanks. Thanks for remembering I had brain surgery six years ago, that we get to take photos of tutus right now. Well it's the it's the episode where we're celebrating things and numbering them. I say, Nate, we're going to celebrate you right now because it's been six years. So we're gonna

have a six year brain party, which is totally normal. Everybody does's been six years. So we're gonna have a six year brain party, which is totally normal. Everybody does it every six years. Every six years, something monumental happened, we celebrate. Because it's a total thing, six years. And then later we get like, you've been sober or your dad's been sober for eight years and three days.

Let's have a party. You're just gonna count things and have parties for them. We're gonna change up the rules, like fives and tens. They don't matter anymore. It's all about sixes and eights when it comes to anniversaries. It's all evens now. Yeah. So Nate six years ago had brain surgery and I don't know if you guys know this, but I want to invite everybody to the Nate celebration.

The brains like a, six year brains. Six year brains by Nate. Honey, that's where you think that. Gorgeous brains, transcendent brains. What's this place? Mystical brains, mystical six year brains. You know, when the neurosurgeon opened up his head, you know what they said?

God, it's so mystical in here. Mystical. It's a dream line. It's so mystical. Look, there's a light. Look, there's a fill light. It's so mystical. So I'm literally going to hire a mystical to perform.

So she says, she talks about how things didn't go well at Jennifer Esso's party, but like, this is going to be a nice occasion. This is a celebration of life, of goodness, of brains, mystical brains. You know, you gotta put things in perspectives, okay ladies? Yeah, so then we find out about his brain surgery. I don't remember this.

I'm sure we knew about it. It seems like a Housewives thing that would make you talk about in your first season, but I don't remember. I think Jersey was so traumatizing last year. I mean, we covered it extensively and we did it in a lot of our live shows, which means we extra covered it

because like you take extra notes for those. But it's so traumatizing to watch the show, really it is. And by the end, I think I just blacked a lot of it out to save myself. So now I'm like, did we know that Nate had surgery? Well, so I didn't remember that Nate had surgery, but I don't think it's, I don't, I don't feel like I was traumatized. I just don't know if I looked to Nate for like interesting content. I don't be like, Oh, let's hear what Nate Cabral has to say.

He just sort of shows up and smiles and is happy to be there, you know? So, um, uh, they are, uh, so they're, they're doing these photos, this photo shoot shoot and then Danielle's like, hey, you're gonna bring the kids to my dad's house to hang out. And it's like, yeah, I'm gonna do that. She goes, that's good. That makes me happy. And then we find out, she says, well, my mom and I are doing great, but I stopped talking to my dad because he handled the gift situation with my brother and not the best way. And we then get a flashback to the reunion because for those who may remember the big

Danielle heads out there, Danielle is not talking to her brother because she was making jokes about him on social media and he decided that he wanted to cut her out of his life, which is a story that we always felt like there was more to it than that. We still have yet to find the answers. So she had sent a gift when her brother had a baby, she sent a gift, and then the brother sent the big gift back. And she told us that at the reunion. Yeah. Which I thought was very nice because if I hate somebody, I'm not sending a gift back. I'm keeping the gift.

I would keep it and still not talk to them like, what, Oh, I hate you. Here's a refund. Go get your money back. No, I hate you. And I'm gonna keep, send me more money and keep sending my kids birthday presents too. Stupid. Yeah, it's also sending things back is so annoying in general with life.

Like anytime you have to prepare a return, it's like, oh, it's just another thing to do, you know? It's so hard. Like the Amazon, you know, cause I shopped there like literally for everything. And so I return stuff a lot, cause that like, oh, it's just another thing to do. You know? It's so hard, like the Amazon, you know, cause I shopped there like literally for everything. And so I returned stuff a lot, cause that's how it is. And it's set up so easy. Get a little code on your phone, you scan it at the UPS,

you drop it off, the end. And now they started doing all this extra stuff. Like sometimes they'll be like, you have to take it to Whole Foods now. And I'm like, I know. This is so hard. Same. And one time I had to return something through a FedEx.

Oh my God. Oh no, don't even. Girl, I put that company down on my blacklist. I was like, I will never order from this Etsy seller again. Never FedEx, how dare you? Oh my goodness. It took forever to do the process and then it took forever to get back to the place.

I once had to do a return through Walmart, not Walmart, Walgreens. And so they of course had no idea what they were doing and they slapped, they used my mailing address from the original box as like the return address. So the box just came back right back to me. And then the company thought I didn't return it. So then they charged me and I was, it was so annoying. But I, you know, I was just trying out different book bags for this European trip. And so I got two from Amazon. I was like, you know what?

Neither of these are going to work. I'm going to return them both. One, I had to return it to Whole Foods. One at the UPS store. They could not both be returned in the same place. It was so annoying. So the fact that they don't even got a return shows actually a little bit of effort. Yeah. So I say your brother is trying to show you that he still loves you that he went through all of that to return

Something in this day and age. I mean shit just leave it at the curb You know what I mean? But the fact that he went to return it and you got points back on your Amex I would write a thank-you card that someone who cares Yeah Or it's someone who knows what your bullshit trick is and he's not gonna let you hold that over him and he's like no you'll have no power over me take back your gift bag of bougie kit accessories.

So- That is the thing on this show, because remember we were talking about Jen Aiden last week getting into a fight with one of the bloggers, like Melissa's old earlobe or whatever, Melissa's old nose, and they were fighting and she's like, but I bought a stroller for your special needs time baby. Like using that against her.

So that's a weapon. When you buy someone's child a gift to New Jersey, you're going to hear about it whenever that person is pissed. I mean, it's a, and it's a classic house. So I was moved, move in general. Remember when Lisa Vanderpump left Beverly Hills, what did Kyle Richards do? She brought a gift to the reunion to give to her and just let it sit there on the side table to show how much Lisa Vanderpump was not there to receive it. So, um, anyway, so Danielle now tells us

what's going on with her and her father. She goes, you know, I felt like in that moment, maybe for one moment, my father could just say, he's an idiot and I'm sorry he's doing this to you, but he's never stood up for me. And it might be harsh on my part to just cut ties, but I need to stop protecting myself. But he still sees my kids and talks to Nates,

but that's a relationship I won't take away from him. I'm like, okay, so let's just do a recap. Your brother suddenly stopped talking to you and that hurt you so much that now one of the ways that you were dealing with it is that you decided to stop talking to your father. Got it, really, okay, wonderful. It's you.

It's you. Okay, maybe you should listen to some Taylor, okay, as I have been in preparation for this concert. Yeah. And guess what? Hi, I'm the problem. It's you, ma'am, okay? And let me tell you something else.

I haven't known you for very long on this show, but I can tell you, you're a huge pain in the ass. You have a temper, you have a drama. You were probably making jokes about that sister-in-law and being disrespectful to his wife. And your brother stood up for his wife, you got mad that he wasn't standing up for you instead of standing up for the wife, you acted like a fucking child and you cut off that relationship and now you're cutting off your elderly father who we've seen on this show

is a completely lovely person. You're a spoiled little brat, you're going to be crying very soon once you lose your father. Get your shit together, lady, you're too old to be acting on this. Okay? And you're a bougie. But seriously, in your bougie company at Fashion Week, nobody wants to wear matching clothes with their children enough to make this a giant stock exchange company.

So stop with that too, okay? You're getting on my nerves. Although I do love how she does the Kim Zolciak with her extensions while she talks and she's nervous and she can't stop playing with her hair. And I like her voice. Yeah, her voice is fun. So anyway, the point is this, this woman who's complained about lack of communication

in her family has decided to actively stop communicating with her father. Yeah, don't be a dick to your elderly parent. We've seen your father, he's very nice. Yeah, exactly. Fix it. Don't make her, also don't make your father take sides in a family argument, because it's probably more painful for him than it is for

you. Let's be honest. And we see your dad crying every five minutes because remember her dad's the crier. He's like, it's like this dad, he cries. So don't make him cry more. I mean, come on, man. Yeah. Together over there. Shame on you. Shame on you. So then we go over to Dolores's house and she's sitting in the kitchen talking about real estate with Polly. Uh, but first the dog is acting up. So she goes, dog, you'd be good. Hello. Hello.

Be good. Be good dog. Okay. Hello. Hey dog. Don't fuck with me. I'm from Patterson. You don't believe me. Hello. Hello. Be good, be good dog. Be good. Hello. Hey dog, don't fuck with me, I'm from Paterson. You don't believe me? Hello. Hello. Right, I did the wrong type of hello. It's not a hello question. I did question mark. That was a Newark hello.

That was a Hoboken hello. Hoboken. It was almost Tenafly. It was like a Tenafly hello. Hello. Hello. Sabrina, where's Sabrina? Hello, is anyone here?

Where's Sabrina? So yeah, she's like, dog, cut the shit. And Polly's like, what's going on there? It's like, I just finishing up my CLE credits. I have a house to show this. Oh my God, fucking Dolores showing you here. Could you imagine? All right. Well this house is a two bedroom, four bathroom. Does that make sense?

Does anything do we have to go inside? I think you get the picture, right? You need bedrooms, you need kitchens. It's all in there. So you the buyer, you don't, you know what you like countertops. This house has got them. You want to put in an offer. I'm very busy. She'll show up three hours late to all the meetings. Actually, wasn't that her thing in business where the guy who owned the gym would call her and be like,

where are you? I guess we're supposed to be here at the gym for a while. She'd be like, well, so I'm three hours late. Big deal. It's a gym. Where's it going to go? Like gyms can't run.

Okay. People run to the gym. Why are you so angry, Mass? Gyms don't run away from the people. Yeah. Gyms don't run. They don't go anywhere. I've got things to do. Frank once installed Pebble tile into a house. I'm trying to sell. Try it. You ever tried to sell a house with Pebble tile on it? You can't do it. Hello. So, um, so she's just like, uh, talking about real estate and she goes,

you know, you know that I can never not work. You know that Polly, even though people on bra people who watch Bravo have seen me very rarely work, you know, I can never not work. I always got to keep. She's always talking about working. She is like my mom. My mom talks about working all the time. She hasn't had a job literally for 15 to 20 years. I don't really remember the exact number, but at least. And when she told me, I said, I'm busy. She says, Oh, who's not busy? I said, are you busy?

Like, what's your job? And she goes, I've worked every day of my life. I was like, okay. Amen. I guess you can just say that and that means like it's true. So, so bizarre. That's how I feel about this podcast when people are like, I'll be like, oh my God, you guys, I am so stressed. Like what'd you do? I'm like,

I woke up at around nine 45 and then talked about like the real housewives for about 90 minutes. And it's just like, it's just so much. It's a lot guys. Yeah. But I feel like people who know aren't like that. Cause if they're like, why are you tired? Do you just say I've been recapping Real Housewives of New Jersey for 12 years. Like, oh, God.

Yeah, once you put it in that context. Like giving you a gold watch. Yeah. So she's like, so you know what? I decided I'm going to go back and get my real estate license and stuff, you know? And you know how I love real estate. So I'm thinking like it's something for both of us to do together, because you love real estate too,

you know, so you can help me look. You have an eye for it, Paulie. That's what I'm saying. So basically you find the houses, you sell the houses, and I'll just stand there and I'll look at the pictures and I'll say, you know what? There's no motorcycle in the living room. I say, buy the house and we'll close out the deal.

Listen, you know what I'm going to say? This house is ready to close. You know who Listen, you know what I'm gonna say? This house is ready to close. You know who's not ready to close on this relationship? David, and I've had it. I've had it. You know, David would get an allergic reaction every time TNT would show the close-up.

He didn't like it. So Polly's like, oh, so the catch is I do your job for ya. And she's like, listen, I've been doing, I've been doing your Instagram filtering. You think that's an easy job? You look like a fucking Marvel superhero. Okay. Have you seen yourself? Bravo.

Take off the filter for a second. Take it off. Whoa. All right. Put it back on. Put it back on. You think that's easy work? You can do some real estate paperwork for me.

Paul. You know, I moved in with Paul almost a year ago, but I still consider myself to be a very independent person. So getting back into real estate feels very natural. I flipped houses with Frank. That was great. And we see flashbacks to like Frank and Dolores, which was basically like, Dolores, where's the pebble tile? I don't like the pebble tile, Frank. You gotta put in the pebble tile, D'oh!

And he's like, you know, I'd rather see you independent. Now it doesn't matter what I have or what you have because together I have more, let's face it. But I'd like you to feel that you have things, even if they're not my things, because you're never getting my things. Does that make sense? Here's the thing about Pauly, I love his countertops.

I feel like they do live in his bachelor pad still, which is weird, but I also want to fuck Pauly because of that. I love the bachelor pad. I love the countertops. I like the slight cheesy doucheyness of the bachelor pad, but it's still somewhat classy to me, isn't it? Is it to you? What doouchiness of the bachelor pad, but it's still somewhat classy to me, isn't it? Is it to you?

What do you feel about the bachelor pad? It is nice. I mean, this is a series that has famously had really gaudy interiors. I'll never forget Teresa's angel wing door handles to get into her house. So his is kind of like sleek and modern. I do think it's weird.

There's still like faux finishing in this state. And he like parks his luxury cars like right out on the curb, like right. He like doesn't park them in his garage. He puts the parks and like outside of his garage, which is very douchey, but I do like a space quite a bit. It looks weird. When, when Dolores those parties there and you see like the focaccia alligator, like on that sleek countertop, it feels like a weird, a weird fit, you know? Yeah. But I like it.

I feel like focaccia focaccia animals are really working like Phoenix. Does that make sense? I feel like I've seen them in like lizard, like, you know, in Arizona mostly is where I've seen focaccia shaped, or like animal shaped bread. That's okay, I can see that. Like I feel like focaccia animals is really,

it does feel very Jersey, but I feel like they match like a Jacqueline Lurita decor where it's like brown, brown countertops, brown granite, brown, dark brown here, light brown here, more brown over here. And like a picture of like harvest cornucopia in the background, you know? Yeah. So then, um, uh, Paul's like, yeah, you need to be independent. And Dolores is like, yeah, plus Paul's not divorced yet, you know, but divorced or not. I always want to make sure I can take care of myself. You know what I mean?

Yeah. So every time that Paulie says I need independence, I'll just say, and you know what? You're also not divorced yet. So you want to talk about independence? Why don't you, uh, put a, take the pen out of the independence and put it onto the papers that says, get out of my life other lady. Yeah. What's going on with this not divorcing thing? Like you still friends with his ex wife. So he figures he'll just stay married to the ex wife. I forgot. Yeah. I, I don't know. I wasn't sure if it was like an extreme like Catholicism thing.

But it's I think it's is a new show on any, by the way, extremely Catholicism things. Yeah, it's not an extreme Catholicism thing. Cause he's shacking up on TV with the Delore. So, um, are they living, is she living there? Does she still have her own house? She lives there now, right? You know, I don't know. I was thinking about that cause that part of me feels like she still has her old

house because I imagine that's where Gabby and Frank Jr live. Right? Where do they live? I told you, I watched this. This show has been like minority report brainwashed out of my head. Was that about brainwashing? They just live in the garage. They live in Paulie's garage, which is why the cars aren't parked in there. And then Dolores comes down with like food.

He goes, sorry kids, we're looking to find you a bedroom. And Frank, he's like, you're doing the best you can mom. Love you. This is what it's like to be independent. So she's like, you know, and then the other thing is I love being a part of a start to somebody's life, right? And I like when people trust me and that's what real estate is.

You're a part of the start of their life. They trust you. You show them what a blowjob bell is. They get blowjobs. Miss, it's like mothering and finding people at home at the same time. There are very few realtors in New Jersey, there are even the nation who could tell you the exact time it takes to walk from the kitchen to the living room and back to the kitchen again.

And that's what I bring. I love that Dolores, they're so wonky how she's just gonna be like, okay, we're gonna open the scene, we're talking about independence and real estate and then we'll start gossiping, okay? I've got it, I've got it. I really like being there for the start of people's lives

and I love when people put trust in me. You know who's got a problem with trust? This group of girls. Got it, Got it? Nailed it? All right, send it to Frank. I work every day of my life. Every day of my life I work.

There was like the new, it's like the new topic for the scene just came in and said, hello. So he's like, oh, there's no trust in this group. There's no trust in this friendship. Zero. No trust. Absolutely none.

No trust whatsoever. Okay, I think we can move on. I. No trust. Absolutely none. No trust whatsoever. Okay, I think we can move on. I think we've got the point. Just want to emphasize, no trust whatsoever. You know what? I wouldn't even trust this estimate on the trust in this group. Okay?

Okay. Guess what? There's 27 offers on this group and I don't trust a single one of them. You know, like last night, look at the trust at that party last night. There was none. And he's like, I didn't know all the Italian guys gets all fucking offended. I mean, give me a fucking break. I was about to take out my titty and breastfeed him. Cause that's what I,

that's what I compare weakness to babies who need boobies. Unfortunately, my medium shirt wouldn't allow any sort of movement with any sort of titties. So I just sort of kept with any sort of titties, so I just sort of kept the titty on the inside and looked forward to that 10, 30 o'clock at night when I could finally exhale and take the shirt off. Unfortunately, my shirts are so small that the second I put them on, any milk left in me is squeezed out immediately, so I didn't really have any left for him.

But still, stop your crying boy. Get squeezed right into your face. In the climate ravaged year of 2072, the city of Pura stands as a miraculous green haven, a geo-engineered paradise that protects fortunate residents from the global catastrophes of heat domes, fires, floods and droughts. Demetria Lopez heads up Pura's public relations, tirelessly promoting the city's idyllic image. But when she stumbles upon a dark secret that if exposed would be the downfall of Pura's existence, she must decide who and what she is willing to protect.

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No, he's just, he's got his milk in his eyes right now. So he's not crying, but I wouldn't suggest he drive. Well we got a big weekend coming up, Paul. We're all going to be together again. Danielle invited us to a thing down the shore for Nate. Oh yeah, I heard about that. Oh, a bunch of pussies, right? A bunch of pussies.

I never heard of so many pussies being offended by the Jersey Shore before. Okay, Paul, come on, let's go. So is that the place where there's a bunch of men with greasy hair crying? That's what I see. That's what I see coming up. Oh, remind me to bring an extra cloth so I could drip it over their heads while I breastfeed them. Ha. I shouldn't say that greasy hair, right? That's not nice. I just meant a lot of hair product. I just want to say problematic.

In New Jersey, I think doesn't matter your background. I think everyone in New Jersey has greasy hair. I'm not, I'm a lot of hair product. I just want to say problematic in New Jersey, I think doesn't matter. Your background. I think everyone in New Jersey has greasy hair. I'm not, I'm really comfortable. To be fair in New York too. I'm a New Yorker. I'm a New Yorker in New York as well. Yeah. I just think I, I think I'm just jealous cause I miss having hair. I was a pomade person and there is no greasier hair than pomade and I would put it on all day. Like it would dry and then it would like, I don't know, like relax and then I would put more in.

I was so addicted. Now look at me, I'm just a bald man crying about greasy hair on brothel. I, yeah, I used to do like a pomade wax thing. And I think like my hair is thinning rapidly. And I think it's probably because of that product, because you put it in and then you like happen to touch your hair and like an entire patch of hair just comes out because it's like clumped together on that shit

Maybe it was pomade because I am that melancholy So Dolores is like, you know what? We're gonna go to the Jersey Shore with a bunch of non trustworthy people and you're gonna finally love the shore You're gonna love it poorly And he's like, he's like, oh, okay, well, do I have to get lines shaved on the side of my head or something like that? Vanilla ice cold back, am I right, everyone?

She goes, shut up, Paul. So then over at Teresa's house, Louie and Teresa walking around like billboards, she's wearing hers, it's like, I know, this is like the podcast. Namaste tree. The podcast. This scene is brought to you all by Zazzle. Okay. So yeah, Louie is wearing a shirt.

Well, I don't, I don't remember what Louie's shirt said. Louie says, give me pizza. You'll troll, Louis is wearing a shirt. What was that? Well, I don't remember what Louis's shirt said. Louis says, give me pizza, you old troll, which is a line uttered by Melania to Joe Gorga, which is super weird because Louis already had the whole like, you know what I do? I wear you no nose pajamas to bed every night just to make your mama feel at home.

Which is so fucking weird. And now he's wearing memories from the children to Joe. It's weird. Yeah. So, Louis is like, Hey babe, what are you doing? And she's like, I'm just deciding what I'm going to wear to your dad's celebration tonight. Oh yeah, yeah. It's my dad's eight year sober day.

So, they're going to be celebrating his dad because eight years, it's the sixes of the eights. It's another standard year to celebrate things. Eight years. So then we see a flashback to 2020 and Louie's dad is kind of like a dad from Seinfeld. Whose dad is he? He's kind of like George Costanza. He looks like one of the friends at the retirement community in Florida. And Louie's like growing up, I had a hard time with my dad. He was an alcoholic. He's a recovered alcoholic now. And now he means everything in the world to me, especially now that I got his social security number on his last place of residence for the past five years. Basically all this financial

info. We're getting along pretty well. Yeah, I think he gets what does he get? He gets like a coin or something like that. What does he get? Yeah, he gets a coin representing years. I'm going to say something. I'm going to say something, you know, because I want him to know that he's got to be proud. That's not an easy road to drive down, especially when you're drunk. All right? Well, maybe when he was driving down that road, he got so scared that he like pulled over and then went to his father-in-law's house and took like a shot just because he was so rattled, you know? Hold on. I'm going to change my shirt. This one says, my bitch wife is coming.

My bitch wife is coming. Yeah, I didn't know it spelled like that. I'm gonna change my shirt. This one says, my bitch wife is coming. My bitch wife is coming. Yeah, I didn't know it spelled like that. Hehehehe. So she's like, he's the best party I've ever had. Blink blink blink blink blink. And so then we find out that they're going to Nate's party this weekend.

But then the moving trucks are coming. Oh my God, baby, I almost cried this morning. This Gabriella is going to college. Oh, come here, come here, babe. Oh, let me give you a hug, babe. Oh, and she's like, Oh, she's leaving in five days. Oh no. And she's like, when Gabriella leaves for college, we're all going to feel the

difference because she's like the rock of the family. And then we see how she's a rock. You know, she puts the alarm on every night. She writes Texas is like, oh, the dog just peed and I picked it up, I'm so tired of it, you know? Like she actually remembers to lock the doors and she turns the oven off at night. I love that her deep memory of her child is cleaning up dog feet.

Who's gonna clean up the dog feet? Teresa when she said, yeah, Gabriella, she's the rock of the family. Oh, trust me, you'll always be the rock in this. Okay. I'm happy to be a tree, but I'm also a rock. When anybody thinks of a rock, they will think of tree. Tree has the mental capacity of a pet rock. No one is ever gonna confuse anybody else in this family for the rock.

Don't you worry, hun. So she's like, yeah, she reminded me of my mom. My mom always had paper towels on her to clean up dog feet. She's so special, she really is. I wanna miss her, babe. My mom always had paper towels on her to clean up. She's so special. She really is. The way that Gabriella could go into a grocery store and tell you the difference between Windex and Ajax. Oh man. Let me tell you what that girl could do. She could really clip a coupon, man. So Louis starts stroking Teresa's hair.

I love you. Which is just so creepy. And he's like, she's like, you know, you know, they went through a lot, my kids, you know? Like, but anyways. So we're going to Jen's house for the day and I wanna go to Nate's party tomorrow night. I was like, oh, so we're just.

That's what I'm saying. What a transition. The segues in this episode are so hilarious. It's like every time they don't even bother anymore. I know that one little thing Gabriella. Let's go to Nate's party this weekend. We're just going to fight with anybody. I can't wait.

And Teresa's like, I got nothing to say to Margaret except, hey, do you know someone who might be able to pick up poop around the house? But other than that, I got nothing to say So and the ice begins where everybody's icing each other out this season and she's like, yeah Cuz you know, there's things that we can't talk about right now, you know, but there's more to come All right, cuz there's things that I can't say cuz it enforced legal issues and it's regarding Margaret Joseph But I can't wait for the world to see. What a liar she is.

I'm gonna be so happy, singing like a boy. Like, Teresa's already doing her squeal, anger, happiness thing. Teresa is not gonna have a good season this year. She's gonna, this is bad. If she's already squeal, doing that squeal, like, I'm so happy squeal, when she's really furious and about to flip some tables,

it's not gonna go well this year. Yeah, so she's like, yeah, we got our answers, and Lou's like, yeah, we did, and she's like, so that's why the people are trying to get a rise out of us, because it's like, in one ear, out the other. I'm like, I think that's how you also wound up in jail. You did not, you let too many things go in and out of your brain. Instead of saying, wait a second.

Stop that. Also, I think that's kind of how air works around your head. It just goes in and out the ear. That's why I always hear like a subtle whistling sound round her. Yeah. Oh my God, If you put Teresa up next to your head, you can hear the ocean. So, uh, Antonia's birthday party, um, at Alia, which is funny

because it's kind of like a liar. Of course she's going to go have a dinner at a liar. So this is a graduation party for Antonia and Joe's like, Oh my God, 18, right? That's nuts. What are you 18? That's crazy. That's, that's when, that's when Teresa said we had to stop making out. That was cut off time. Melissa's like, I asked her what she wanted and she said brunch. She wants to go out with her friends tonight. And she said, Mom, for my 18th birthday, I want to do nothing but hang out with you and all of your brothers and sisters while you prove to America that you're the better side of the family. That's all I want for my birthday. So it's family, you know, and Melissa's like, you never realize that when people

say time flies, like when you when like when you have kids, that it really does. Okay. So this is going to be fun. So then we see all the family. They're really going to try and sell us on the family this year and make them other characters to prove that they can do this without the Teresa drama. I'm just going to say preemptively, you can't.

You've tried to shove Patty and Selma, Marge Simpson sisters down our throats for years. And your mom, what's her bones? It's just not gonna work. I will always love Donna. I listen, I love Donna. I actually like the Gorgon. I mean, Donna's fine. I don't have any strong hatred for these people.

I'm just saying you've tried to make them happen for years and they just haven't happened. Like, what do you think is gonna change? Like, throw some days in? I mean, it's true. They have not popped as a family. However, I do think they seem like better people than, like I do think they are like warmer people. Um, but uh,

uh, I agree. They have heard disagree from me. You like them more than Teresa. Like the thing is, no, I'm not, I don't, I don't compete on this show. I don't have a comp. They're all trash. I can say both sides, both sides of this one are pretty much trash. I don't feel any need to take sides in this one. I think that's probably safe. Um, so, um, so they're, they're just talking to reflecting about like 18 years and Melissa talk about how she has C section and everything. And Joe's, they're just talking about this reflecting.

And so then, then Antonia is, you know, she's like embarrassed by everything that they say. And Melissa's like, I'm going to do a toast. So she goes, Antonia, I want you to go meet new people and explore your oats. She's like, oh my God, mom, you're, I don't even know how I'm even able to string together sentences. I thought Tia Tree was really stupid, but you're really, I think I may have to defect to that side of the family after that comment.

One of the sisters like, that's not the same, Melissa. Oh, I guess it's a color on your oath. Oh, Melissa, that's not how you say it, you wackadoo. Travel with your oath. Oh, come on, Melissa, you're so hilarious. You're just better than Teresa. Melissa does this whole faux bimbo thing where she's like, I'm hilarious too.

Look at me not knowing phrases. So, okay, I guess I will pick a side. I think Teresa's insane and a monster, but she's at least a genuinely funny wreck of a monster. Whereas Melissa's just like a try hard to copy the thing that she hates. So I guess team tree, tree and Louie. I'm on the tree and Louie. I'm a tree hugger. Yeah, I don't know. I think that Melissa is actually this dumb. And I think, yeah, I can't be on Teresa's side. I'm sorry, I just can't.

So... That was temporary. It's just for the scene that, I'm liar. But I'm not falling for Melissa's like, ha ha, I don't know what wild oats means. So then they talk about boys and then we get to the part. Then we get to the gay section, which was my personal thing. Out of nowhere, out of nowhere,

there's gays in Melissa's family. So we have cousin Nick. So there used to be- They got him off Craigslist. They're just, they're just fake gays. They're not even really part of the family. They're like, you know what, Melissa, we need people to like you more this year if we're gonna finally get me and these girls on.

Yeah, Melissa, what are we gonna do? Don't forget the wild oats things. Let's hire a gay. Let's hire a gay, bring a gay in. Every now and then, Bravo trots out a Jersey gay on this show. Like Caroline Manzo's brother. We don't see them often, but every now and then

they do come to the fore, and it's always hilarious. Or Greg, Gregory, the iconic. Greg was a foundational gay on Bravo as a whole, so I apologize, I take it all back. Yeah, one of my favorite all-time Bravo gays, Greg. Yeah, and since him, we have not seen much. So now all of a sudden we have two gays who are engaged. And it definitely reminded me of that skit that they used to have on SNL

where Bill Hader and Fred Armisen were playing Jersey gays. And they're like, we're gays from New Jersey and they would talk like this the entire time. But then they'd be like, no, I love you. I love you too. And they'd make out. So this is what we have. We got Nick. He's like, hey, we're gay. We're getting engaged. We're getting married. We break the rules, the gay men, hey! Yeah, and they're like, oh my God, we're so nice to gay people. And they're like, yeah, we're so good to gays.

And they're like, trying to squeeze out some tears, but no one's really crying. And he's like, you guys, when I came out the closet, you were so in the gayness. And I was, that's so helpful to me. And they're like, oh my God, I'm crying. You crying mom? I'm crying. You crying?

I'm crying too. Are you crying? I'm crying. None of you are crying. Stop your fake gay tears. Okay. Nobody's buying this shit. So then the, the gay, the gay is like, Oh Joe, you know, when I came out, you embraced us, literally embraced us so

hard. God, I still, my back still kind of hurts from it. I think you grabbed my nuts too. You kept brushing my nuts with your palm. And Joe was like, listen, listen, this is what I'm gonna say. I'm gonna say the same thing to you, I say to everybody. Gay guy, girl, you both got warm mouths. Am I right?

Who am I to judge? Who am I to judge? The way that I love you guys, like you don't really even know. You know what? I'm choked up right now. Like, hold on. There he is. There he is. There he is. There he is. There he is. Here comes the there he is. Yeah, because Joe's going to be the preacher for this wedding, which is kind of hilarious too. Just them walking down the aisle. Very excited for this. Dairies, dairies.

Hey, two gay guys walk down the aisle. Which one's the bride? Am I right? Am I right? Anyway, just some humor. You know, they're like, um, so Joe, uh, we've put in, now that you're our officiant, when do we finally get in, now that you're our officiant, when do we finally get a dick pic from you? Cause we really put in a lot of investment into this. Hey, I registered. I registered for your wedding.

It's just like a dick pic. I know. That was registered on only fans. So then Melissa starts her whole, oh God, and the fact that you chose my husband, you know, he's like, he's such a family, you guys treat him like family, and like he's like family,

and his own family doesn't treat him like family, but you treat him like family. He is family, you guys have been married 97 years, you have an 18 year old daughter. Why are we acting so shocked? Right, you're. Of course they're gonna choose like, 97 years you have an 18 year old daughter. Why are we acting so shocked? Of course they're going to choose like, like the hot guy who's famous to be their officiant. Like,

Oh my God, I mean so much. Like, yeah, he's got a good body and he's famous. Of course. Yeah. They're like, do you think we want and, uh, and would you think we want zero presence on social media for our wedding? Do you think Joe number seven to be our officiant? No, we want Joe Gorgia. Cause there's 50 good Joes at the table. It's Joe and it's Joe and Nick and Joe and Joe and Tony and Jake, Joe and Joe. All right. You know what we're taking?

I'm helping Melissa get the orders for her wedding dinner, her reception. Okay. So, um, how many Joes are they going to be? I'm just going to mark that. It's like instead of the chicken or the fish. Okay. So, um, how many Joe's are they going to be? I'm just going to mark that. It's like, instead of the chicken or the fish. Okay. So we've got nine Joe's at that table and four Franks. Okay. Do you ever think about that? Like here comes the bride, like may have been written by, um, Dolores. If you really think about the lyrics, here comes the bride, all dressed in white. You know what I mean? I mean, it's, it's all right there. Here comes the bride, you know, it's all dressed in white. Polly Polly Polly look, here comes the bride, all dressed in white.

What are the rest of the lyrics to that song? Are there other lyrics than that? I just said them. Dum dum da dum dum da dum dum da dum. Hello there. This is a two part recap, okay? This is the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two.

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