Watch What Crappens - #2438 RHONJ: Risk It For the Biscuit

Episode Date: May 28, 2024

The Real Housewives of New Jersey (S14E04) get together for the third annual charity softball game, but Marge is playing hardball when her team starts to fall apart right in front of her eyes. The only winner in all of this is Biscuit the dog, and it’s because Jen blatantly cheated and handed her a fashion award. Watch this recap as a video and get our bonus episodes at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Oh well, you love me, don't you? Watch what crappin' Who cares what happens when this so much that crappin' Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappin' It's a podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on Ye Olde Broves I'm Ronnie That's Ben. Hi, Ben. Hi Ronnie, how are you?

I'm great. Guys, I look like Hagrid to Ben's Harry today and that's because we're in a hotel room in Dublin and I'm sitting up straight and Ben's relaxed. I'm all the way back here. Ben doesn't have a fucking care in the world. Here you go, here you go. There we go, now we're more in proportion.

Yeah, thanks. I think you don't have to be though, you don't have to be. It's all you. I just want people who are watching with crap is on demand available on patreon.com slash watch what crap is to see what we look like when we're sitting in proportion, but now I'm gonna sit back now and relax, which means I'll look a lot smaller,

but I'm not doing it to look smaller. I'm doing it because I have weak lower back muscles and I have to recline at all times. Okay, so welcome to the show everybody. Today we're in Dublin. Gorgeous Dublin. Did a lot today, guys. We went on a tour. We're on a European tour. So hi, thanks to everybody who came in Dublin. You guys were amazing. Love you. Wow. You're crazy and fun with accents. Fucking loved it. Had a great time. And then we're going to Birmingham. That's gonna be our last one.

But in the meantime, we're with a bunch of friends and we are sightseeing and doing stuff like that. So that's what we've been doing here. And let me tell you, getting in this Bravo, just like we're at a gorgeous relic of a church with people crying surrounded by graves. We gotta go, gotta go get some Marge voice in. We're looking at the most beautiful landscape.

It's the most beautiful, magical, wonderful day. This eight hour tour through rural Ireland, looking at the beach, looking at Bono's home, all these beautiful things. We come back to Dublin, our friends are like, now we're gonna have a farewell dinner because some of them are going off. And we're like, yeah, see, we some of them are going off and we're like, yes, we got to talk about Real Housewives.

We're working. This is more important than Bono's house. We got to talk about Margaret and Teresa and Jennifer and Danielle, et cetera. Yeah. I'd rather, frankly. Honestly, every tour here is about what Bono fucking wants. It's like there's Bono's house, there's Bono's bar, there's the car shop of a person who really likes going's Bono's house. There's Bono's bar. There's the car shop of a person who really likes going past Bono's house. Like is there any, can we relate something to anything?

Here's a pancake, I heard Bono ate it once, he really liked it. But we don't treat them. Here's a boxed day that Bono liked. But to be fair, it wasn't all about Bono. We did drive by Enya's castle, and this is a true story. She knows Bono, Did you know that? She writes real relaxing music and let me tell you one thing about Enya.

She's not going to let anyone sing her songs without getting some money. She started that, you know. If anyone uses her songs in TV or movie, they're going to pay her and she started it and that's why she makes money. Enya started money, by the way. There was no money. There was no currency before E yeah, but she started it. People used to go sale, sale away for free until any came along.

She invented sailing tickets. It used to be called Caribbean yellow. And then it became Caribbean blue after any. It's amazing. Yeah, really good tour. The tour guide is a total ham. Our first tour fell through because our friend was like, I'm gonna call this tour and see if they can come pick us up

at our own hotel at a different time. And they were like, okay, we'll do that. We'll see you in the morning, last. They did not. They picked up, they picked another name with two syllables of a hotel and went to there at the wrong time, an hour before. No, it wasn't, we weren't even changing the time.

We were doing the same time. We said, hey, instead of being, instead of going to that hotel to pick us up, can you come to this hotel to pick us up? They're like, no problem. And they just went off into the- And then they didn't. They didn't.

So we wound up going to Enye's house instead of the- So we got a private tour. We got this other guy that the concierge was like, he talks a lot, but you know, try him. So he never shut up, okay? He was so nice,, he talks a lot, but you know, try him. So he'd never shut up, okay? He was so nice, by the way, Brian. Hi, Brian.

I loved him. And he was like, here's what you need to take a picture of. Me, standing in front of this castle. And then he'd stand in front of it and pose. So he's in all of the pictures. He's such a fucking ham. He's like, no. He was, but then he would also give us directions.

He's like, okay, one of you stand here. All right, and now pan to the right. Okay, pan to the right and done. He was directing us. He'd go, all right, take out your phones. I want you to get it from here and then go all the way to the right. Get it to there. That's it.

That's all you're gonna do. One of you do it and send it to the other ones. This guy's to get out of here, Steven Spielberg. This guy was such a ham. I've never seen someone do this. This guy was such a ham, I've never seen someone do this. This guy was such a ham, there was someone randomly paragliding over like the Irish countryside, like up in the sky, and he started flapping his arms, he's like, oh no, come on down here, come on down here.

The paraglider changed directions and came down and landed right next to us. I've never seen someone summon a power glider. Yeah, he was pretty good. He also summoned ducks, I'd like to add too. He did and a horse. He had magical powers. He did. The only thing he couldn't summon was Bono and Anya.

And then, you know, my parents, I come from a very like sporadically white half. Like my dad's side is Lebanese, my mom's side, we don't know. Their last name is Mullins, we don't really know. I always say Irish, but no one really knows. But one of our friends was like, why is Irish? Which of course now he can't let go, you know. So he's like, oh, this man with Celtic blood, here's what it means. And you know, I'll doze off. You can't talk to me for more than 20 minutes. I'm wandering around staring at a tree. He's like, get back here, young man. This is your blood. This is your blood we're talking about. I was going to kill this girl for telling this guy that. And so, I got it all day and I had left feeling so guilty because he's like, man, now you're leaving your

ancestors' graveyard. Where's the pride? And I was just thinking, I don't know, I could probably be English. I could have been the one to fuck you over in the first place and just been here undercover. I don't even know who I am. I left the day just with identity crisis. Yeah. It was, um, it was hilarious getting, seeing you get thrown into every example. It's like, where's the man? Okay. Where's, where's the man who's got, who's got Irish ancestry, Ronnie, okay. Come here. Hug this monument. If your fingers can touch, you've got good luck. Dua Lipa's bodyguard did it last week. It was amazing. I walked off. I was like, but then when I walked off, he'd be like, get back here. This is your blood talking. So anyway, that's what we've been doing. But guess what the

Real Housewives of New Jersey have been doing? Getting mad at each other for hanging out with people. That's what the season's about. How could you talk to her? How could you talk? I'm disgusted with you. I'm disgusted with you right now for talking to her. This one over here went and talked to her. Can you believe it went to her butt? That's the line. This one right over here. That's the line.

You know, Ronnie, you know what's crazy? On my laptop, my dock disappeared. How do I get my dock back? It disappeared, I can't get to my notes anymore. I think you flicked up. It looks like you're- What did I do wrong? Oh my gosh, Dad.

Oh my God, Oh my God. Jackie. What did Jackie do? You flicked it up. Remember I taught you your settings to flick things up? I didn't even, Jackie, you're just... If you flick, it is like my dad. I taught my dad the setting on how if you flick your mouse, your magic pad up, all the programs will disappear

so you can see your desktop, and then you flick it back down, they all come down. All right, well, I'm gonna work on this in the meantime because that is it it's back up what are you what are you googling? I'm looking for my doc. But didn't we just figure it out? There's no there's no doc on my screen right now Jackie. Oh my god here's what you're doing. Control tab. What was your doc open under? Was it open under? The doc is just there. Yes text edit. Go to text edit. There it is. Fine. You press Control Command Tab. That'll show you all your open applications.

And then you pick your tab. OK, well, I'm going to work on this in the meantime while we discuss this very important scene. All right. So Teresa, Louis, and Adriana are driving the car with suitcases and trunk because Adriana is going to college. Is it Gabriella or Adriana? Wait. I don't care. Gabrie Adriana is going to college. Um, was Gabriella or Adriana? Wait, I don't care. Gabriella is going off to college. Gabriella is going to college. But it's not,

but they're very clear to say tomorrow is move-in day, which means that this episode is not dedicated to Gabriella going to school. This episode is dedicated to Antonia going to school instead. Here's why I don't know, because I don't care. Okay. I still don't care. I don't care any more than I did last week or the week before whose kids are going to school. I don't care. So then we go over to someone else's house and Dolores is with her daughter and the kid's like, I called Frank and I was like, hey, did you let the dogs out earlier? And Dolores is like, can you start referring to us

as mom and dad, please? That would be nice. It's a little late for Dolores to be asking for this, by the way. Hi, hey Gabby, now that you've graduated from veterinarian school and are turning 36, could you call us mom and dad? Yeah.

We've been waiting your whole life for this moment. So she tries it. She's like, I called dad. Oh, that's disgusting. I just can't do it. So when we go to the Gorgas home and Melissa is doing that thing where she's pretending to teach her kid how to do laundry. And Antonia is like, what's fabric softener? And I'm like, that's cute on any other show.

But I feel like on this show, I believe that nobody knows what Facts of the Morning are. Like, I'm like, could someone double check Melissa Gorgel when she says, let's get its own separate compartment? I'm like, can you just double check? And can you double check that what's in there is actually fabric softener, not anything that Joe Gorgel left behind? Ew, yeah, I'm not kidding.

It's like lube. He would literally fuck the fabric softener section of a washing machine. If I don't, I'm gonna be full of poison, right? Whatever it is. Whatever it is. You know your mom calls this a washing machine. I call this a poison receptacle.

Am I right? Joe, no wonder my sweaters keep getting bigger. Okay, so then the Aiden house, Olivia's like, mother, do do do do do, Olivia's like, mother? Do-do-do-do-do. JAYLEE It's like violinist from the back, playing for this very classy family. Olivia's like, mother, when is Biscuit's birthday party?

OLIVIA Saturday! We'll do it Saturday, baby! Something—hey, wait a second! Something smells, Olivia! What is it? What smells, Olivia? OLIVIA It's because we found like an old cabbage mother or or broccoli,

I think in the fridge. Then we just left it out all night and put it right on top of the trash can. Oh God, an old cabbage. It stinks baby, it stinks. It truly does mother, it smells so bad. P.S. I'm an eagle. So then Margaret and Joe get to a restaurant,

they're on their motorcycle, and they get to a restaurant called the filling station. Don't tell Gorgay you're going there. God knows what he'll do. He'll be like, yeah, yeah, it's about time. Listen, I just did a load. Yeah, so they get out and Margaret's like, okay, you know what, like Joe and I go on the motorcycle

quite a bit, but the weather has to be ideal, okay? Like it has to be basically 75 degrees. Joe has to be wearing his sea foam shirt and Teresa's gotta be an idiot. So really it actually can happen all the time now that I think about it. I mean, really he's a great rider. What I do is I get on the back

and I hold onto his terrible fashion and eventually we get somewhere. I just, it's very intimate. I just stand behind him and I go, pull the gas harder, also change his shirt. Seriously, why are we even going out with you dressed like this, Joe? So they go, they order cheeseburgers and stuff like that. And Margaret's like, you know what?

I just feel like everybody's losing their marbles, okay? Jen's like, okay, I don't talk bad about Louis. I mean, you just told me you're afraid of the guy. You can't even stand the guy. And then when you fucked James Gandolfini You had a vision of this man And then all of a sudden when you met him in real life it came true and you thought oh my god This is the end of the world literally it's a vision

It's an omen and now all of a sudden you're friends with him like don't be one way when you're when when no one else is Around and then be a different way because your chicken shit and weak sauce Guess what guess guess what this is unbelievable. This is absolutely disgusting. I'm beside my- is this an onion ring? I cannot wait to eat 30 of these. All right, this is delicious. Get it out of my face, stupid. Get it out. Anyway, Jackie has a book, which is absolutely insane. Guess who loves books? Me. Guess who's told to have a book? Me. I told her. Guess who got the book? Jennifer Fessler. Does Jennifer Fessler read? Jennifer Fessler does her. Melissa Gorga? Melissa Gorga doesn't even know what a book is.

Melissa Gorga couldn't even book anything when she was trying to model. She literally put her book in the fabric softener section of her washing machine. That's not even where books go. You can't even fit a book in there. What are you trying to do? And she said, I don't even know. Jackie gave him the thing. I don't even know what it's even called. How do you even open this thing? I said, you don't even know how to open a book? Are you that thick, Melissa Gorga? She doesn't read.

Okay, and you know Jan died, which is really no one's fault, okay, except blood pressure. But you know what? I'm mad at blood pressure too. You know what? Fuck them, actually. But nobody's even called me about Jan. Like, has she called me? No, she hasn't.

Probably after writing a book. Like, listen here, Anne Rice, I could use a call. That's all I'm saying. You know what, Jackie? All right, you know what? She came to Jan's funeral. She came to the Shiver. That was great.

You know, she sent a platter of meats. That was very nice. She called like once a week and then she called. You know, she sent me several cards. She did my grocery shopping. She did my dry cleaning. You know what? She pressed play on my podcast.

You know, she sent me, I don't know, she bought me a new car. She bought me new dresses. She told everyone in Tenafly, when you see Margaret come down the sidewalk, don't look her in the eye, she's grieving. She told this, but what has she really done for me? I mean, really.

JAYLEE Yeah, hate her. Margaret is losing her grasp on everybody around her, and she's freaking the fuck out. Be subtle about it, okay? You can't just, you're basically, right now, you're like Cruella DeVille just screaming, get me those puppies. Like you have to chill out. You know what I mean? Be subtle.

She's like, I cannot believe I'm losing control of everybody around me. This is insane. How is this happening? Yeah, Margaret's having a real rough edit. Like she is looking really bad this season. A rough edit. You know, she's doing the things.

It's not like an edit. It's not like CGI where they're putting it. They're putting it in large. She's doing the things, but it's like CGI where they're putting it in large. She's doing the things, although it could be. She's definitely looking... They've really done a good job of making Margaret look like the one who is like, can't move forward and is super angry. When it was like Teresa and Louie who did the ridiculous things, like calling a private investigator and calling these people at work.

But Margaret's the one that are they're making look like the lunatic here. But to be fair, Margaret was spying on people too. That was her thing. She was talking to, she was calling the ex-wife, she was calling Louie's ex-wife and getting all that information. Do you remember the bride who ran across the country?

I mean, they're all doing it on each other. And that's what's kind of funny is that they're all exposed now and that's what their fights are all about. It's like, who hired a detective? Well, my detective wasn't a detective. It was the next wife. It's totally different.

Your detective has been in Goodfellas. That's a way worse detective than my detective. Okay. So anyway, we talk a little bit about Jan dying, which is sad, you know? I guess, I don't know Jam, but it's sad for her. And so death in general is sad, you know? Pulmonary embolism, whatever it is, it's very,

no one wants it, okay? As long as it's not caused by penitendemons, is it? Is it? Because then it becomes personal. Then I'm like, you know, that someone on TV, it really doesn't affect me. What do you mean penitendemons killed? What do you mean?

So she's, yeah, so she's clearly grieving. She's going through it. So she's having a hard time. And Joe's really sweet. He's like, Margie, I feel bad. This is the one thing I can't fix for you. The one thing? Really? I have a list. Have you seen our pipes? Okay. Have you seen our ovens? We did our whole kitchen and still have to go to Jody, Jody number one and Jody number two, just heat up some macaroni and cheese. You know who I thought was crying over Jan for me? The toilet, because it's still bubbling after every single time I flush it.

Fix the toilet, Joe, okay? You at least do that. So now we go over to Rachel Pouda. She's walking over to a coffee shop called Honey Day. She grabs a table for two. She goes, I know, I never heard from Jen since we left the shore. So I called her to sit her down to talk.

Now Jen, she means Jen Fessler, by the way. We got two Jen's going on here. I'm so hurt by Jen Fessler. Like I can't. Like that is one of my best friends of all time, is Jen Fessler. The food is. I know.

Honestly, the food is giving me too much right now. Calm down over there. You've known Jen Fessler five minutes. Okay. Yeah. So Jen Fessler is like, so she's like, you know, I've really been able to talk, you know, been able to like, you know, to turn to mage, like, like my therapist for the week, and we see a flashback of her like speaking Rachel food, speaking on the phone to Margaret, and she's like, I'm just so disappointed in like, the lack of loyalty, like, I feel like Jen's cozy up to Teresa, and she's like, I'm just so disappointed in the lack of loyalty. I feel like Jen's cozying up to Teresa

because she's scared. It's loyalty. Every single scene is loyalty. It's like every single scene. So Marge is like, who operates that way? She's a grown woman. It's nonsense. And she's like, I just want to figure out,

where do we go from here? Where do you go when the loyalty has gone? I can't even count on her. So Jen Fester walks in. Hello, I'm here, Jen Fester. And Rachel's like, how are you? So they sit down and they like have like sort of like awkward like good to see you, good to see you, you know, like the it's the the calm before the the foe storm, you know, it's like, well, I got you some honey bites or whatever they were, honey toast bites, as if either of them are gonna eat them. So-

Professor's like, I'll share with you today. And so she's like, oh my God, who are you today? You'll share with me? She's like, well, I'm trying to make you like me again before I stab you in the back horribly. All right, what do you have to say, young one? I am going to cry the whole time that we're sitting here because you're such a good friend

to me and what has happened? It makes me wonder how good our friendship is right now. I'm going to cry. I'm going to cry. Rachel, a sigh. This is me sighing. A literal sigh. Rachel, what is wrong with you?

So Vessar's like, I'm too old for this, you know? But also like Vessar, you are too old for this. Like why has Rachel Fuda become like one of your best friends of all time? Because they were newbies on the show together. I know. And that's it. And now Fesler has a chance to move up. Fesler is at the crossroads.

This way is more TV time with Teresa. That way is more TV time with Rachel Fuda. Yeah. There's an obvious path. Sorry. There is an obvious path. Sorry. There is an obvious path, you know, but it's also like, it's like being best friends with, like, I don't know, if you're like over 45, I think it's very hard to be best friends with someone who's 32.

I'm sorry. It's just, there are just things that you are like in your life that you've experienced that I think it's just, I don't feel like I could be best friends with a 32 year old. I feel like I could be friends with a 32 year old and I can enjoy a 32 year old quite a bit. And we can have like the best time. But I just feel like it's weird to be like, oh my God, someone who's 32 is like,

is gonna be like my person. Yeah, I could. I mean, I've always had friends who are like vastly varying in ages for me. It's not that, it's just the whole like, fame, like I would rather be with someone than I'm gonna be on camera with. And also the foodies are too dramatic. They're too into everything.

They've got too much going on with the ex-wife in the prison and then the other foodie getting himself an IMDB and like, you know, lipo, and then all that stuff going on. I mean, tiles, tiles, do you wanna sit around listening to tile all day? No, I wanna sit around and listen to jail stories, you know? Teresa was where, where, what's her buns? Martha Stewart went to prison and learned how to make ponchos.

Would you rather hear about that or grout colors of the season? Okay, I choose, I choose Martha's poncho, that's it. Yeah, poncho over grout colors of the season. Right. I choose Martha's poncho, that's it. Yeah, poncho over grout. So Festler's saying, well, first of all, when Teresa and I sat down, first of all, it wasn't about Rachel and John. At that point, it was about me.

Like, how can we get me on this TV show? How can I be a full-time cast member? And so when John's name came up, I began to do what any good friend does. I advocated for you. I said, John Futa, that's someone I know. What do you think, Teresa? And she said, I hate him.

I said, I hate him too. And I advocated for her to continue hating John Futa. I love her advocating. So Teresa, when you were saying John Futa was the biggest drug dealer, the biggest drug dealer in Paramus, did you mean now or did you mean previously the biggest drug dealer in Paramus? Yeah. Did you mean now? Or did you mean previously? The biggest drug dealer in Paramus. Say, I'm not now, right now, I'm like Kickleby Mayor, he's the sweetest man in the world, what is he, the pole? John Futter? What a guy!

Hahaha, yeah. It's time for a commercial, it's time for a Crappin's commercial. I'm Alaina, an autopsy technician. And I'm Ash, a hairstylist. And we just love swapping stories about all of the morbid things that fascinate us. And if you do too, join us on our podcast, Morbid. It's a safe space to let your weirdo fag fly. On Morbid we cover dark historical events, sinister science, unnerving paranormal events, and sordid high society murders. We also

dive deep into the most notorious crimes in history. Our podcast is grounded in rigorous and painstaking research. We're also not afraid to read a b****. We keep it weird because a dash of snark is necessary to get through grotesque true tales of demented minds. So follow Morbid on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Morbid early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. It was the biggest scandal in pop music. The stars of Milli Vanilli, the Grammy winning multi-platinum R&B phenomenon, were exposed as frauds, but none of this was their idea.

So whose idea was it? Enter German music producer Frank Farian. He saw the success of acts like Michael Jackson and Prince, and he wanted in no matter the cost. So he devised the perfect pop heist, two once-in-a- in a lifetime talents who were charismatic, full of sex appeal, and phenomenal dancers. The only problem, they couldn't sing.

But Frank knew just how to fix that. Wondery's new podcast, Blame It on the Fame, dives into one of pop music's greatest controversies and takes a never before heard look at the exploitation of two young black artists. Milli Vanilli set the world on fire, but when the truth came out, Rob and Fab were the only ones who got burned. Looking back now, it's hard not to wonder, why did everyone blame them and not the man

pulling the strings? Follow Blame It On The Fame, Millie Vanilli on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Blame It On The Fame early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. So she's like, I mean, I don't know. I thought that was a victory. She's like, you know what?

Something that you see as a victory to me and John, it's bullshit. Okay? Because there's a level of disappointment for me and John. They are always justifying what she says. And so, first I was like, I did the best I could. I can't go into situations like Margaret does. I have to go into situations like me, Jen Fessler, Agent Tony Ziprano does. She's like, I just, I just need to hear people.

It's who I am. It's like, and I get that. But moving forward, I think it's best for you to remove yourself. Oh no, Rachel's sorry. She's like, okay, I agree. She's like, I really just need, I feel like this is something that John and Louie

need to talk about and that's where this needs to go. She's like, so your point is just don't talk to Teresa. Yeah, that's it. Okay, but your level of upset, I just don't understand it. Why are you so upset about this? She's like, listen, but your level of upset with me, I just don't understand it. Like, why are you so upset about this? She's like, listen, in that moment, I was just so sad because I feel like, you know, I'm like mourning the loss of what our friendship used to be,

which is like a stranger older woman who hangs out with me a lot. She's like, why? Well, because like I knew you for five minutes and now I've known you for six minutes. It's just like hard, you know? It's like, I don't really get it, but I love you. I love you very much.

And my kids love you too. And my kids don't love nobody. They're very, very smart kids. And my family took you in as well, I'd like to point out. My crazy two raggedy aunts were both like, who's that lady with the ski slope as a nose? And I said, that's my dear friend, Rachel Fessler. I mean, Rachel Fuda, look,

I already brought you into the family. You see, you are family. You are family. You are family. So they start talking about the biscuit party, Biscuit's birthday party. Are you going, Biscuit's birthday party. Are you going to Biscuit's birthday party? Lived this show.

Now's the real test of friendship. Who's going to Biscuit's birthday party? Rachel claims she doesn't care who I'm friends with, but Rachel does care who I'm friends with. Aha! She's literally sitting here crying because you're friends with people. I don't think she's trying to say she doesn't care. So first it's like, well, I'm thrilled to pieces that she's not attending Biscuit's

birthday party. She's like, I love you. And they're like, I love you, but they do not love each other. And their big thing is Rachel being like, oh my God, you know how I like to have my makeup perfect and you're touching my makeup. I don't like that you're touching it. Oh, oh, oh, she's like, I'm gonna touch it. Get over here and give me a hug, you mediocre young person.

So now we're over to the Aiden's house and they're getting ready for Biscuit's birthday. And so Jen's in the kitchen and Biscuit is now wearing a red tutu because that's like, why not? And she's like, hey Biscuit, are you ready for your party today? I don't know why I'm making food. Nothing's good as long as I eat Biscuit, isn't that right? I hope not because you named your dog Biscuit. I know. It's pretty dangerous when you telegraph something like that. Um so she's like every single one of my kids beg for a dog baby but I never gave it except for Olivia I just had to. She just had the saddest little cry she just kept saying biscuit biscuit

so I kept giving a biscuit after biscuit. So I was out of biscuits. I said, Liv, you don't have any more biscuits. So finally I bought her a dog. We named it Biscuit. It's the most romantic dog story I've ever heard in my life. I know. So now Dolores arrives first, and she's brought her dog Lady, which is the most, it's like, Dolores, I was like,

gosh, the way that Delores names her animals, like between dog, lady, what was the other one? Boo. Now we find out the rest of the whole menagerie. She gives all of them. These are fucked up names, okay? I mean, look, I'm sure Delores is very caring. We haven't really seen evidence of that ever.

I mean, we know that she'll kick your ass if she rode with someone and you're mean to that person, but as far as caring, we've never really seen it. This is evidence that she just literally does not care. She's like, let's get something very loving and just name it a noun's name, water bottle. It's herp dogs or mad libs, basically. Yes.

All right, here they are. Go ahead, Ben. Okay, well, there's dog. All right, there's angel. There's her dogs are mad libs basically. Yes. All right. Here they are. Go ahead then. Okay. Well, there's dog. All right. This angel. This chicken bagel potato brick shoe sheet wall cord grass like car popcorn wheel ceiling skateboard key cloud card leaf hotel computer Skateboard. Key. Cloud. Cod. Leaf. Hotel. Computer. Curtain. Meatloaf. Building. Turkey loaf. Boner. I'm so sorry. That was awkward. It was naming things that are around us. But bagel and potato, were those real? Like half of these, honestly half of these animal names were named after whatever she was eating in that moment. Angel food cake, chicken bagel, potato, banana,

Luna Luna bar, Cinderella. I don't get that. Harley she was looking thinking about the motorcycle in her living room. Lady lady fingers. And then we've got lady. Yeah, lady. So then we go inside the house and Olivia's like, Oh my goodness, I just love these little bitch ones. And they're bone shaped biscuits for biscuit that say bitch. And she's like,

Yes, mother bitch apparently means lady dog and biscuits a lady dog. She's now a lady because she's one year old. She's a bitch. Biscuit is my bitch. Biscuit's my bitch. So Loras comes in, she's like, hello, I brought lady, but I didn't bring dog. So I have half of a bitch here, if you know what I'm saying. You're just lucky I didn't bring potato. All right, that's a real fucking party ruin about one.

I almost brought Shmear, but Shmear always likes to hang out with bagel Booten frees the real party killer I just need to take a break and complain about something in here. I was about to talk about this Well, okay They do this thing with water bottles where you when you unscrew it it stick they have something that keeps the lid to the thing I don't know if there's a huge problem with bottle lid littering where people just take their tops off

and throw them on the ground. They might. That's probably the exact answer. But it's very difficult to drink this because look, I'm hitting my nose. Well, go like this. You know what, you can do this. But then you're hitting the bottle.

Sorry, for those actually listening to this podcast, I just rotated the bottle so that way the cap went to the side. It's still hitting the side of your face. I don't want it to touch the side of my face. Well, we were like two dumb Americans. The first time we noticed it, we were like, wow, this cap really is getting stuck.

We're like yanking it and pulling it off. And then the police pulled over and there's like, we don't have guns here, so we can't shoot you. But we'll tell you this, if you ever mess with that top again, you will never, ever work in this town again. Do you understand me? Just Heather Dub this, if you ever mess with that top again, you will never ever work in this town again. Do you understand me? Just Heather Dubrow. If you ever come for me or my bottle tops again, it will cost you a lot.

And I don't mean just money. So the dogs, the dogs are marching in, etc. And so- Sorry, I have gross burps, by the way. You've been feeding me. Burps, yeah. I'm not smelling any of them. Okay, good, I'm burping them over there.

There's been a lot of bottle, we've been eating a lot of bottle tops. Okay, so anyway, yeah, people start coming, oh, sorry, that was gross, TMI, sorry, audience. So the audience is coming in, the dogs are coming in, and there is a rainbow balloon arch, which I thought was cute. It's like maybe a gay party.

I don't know if this gets gay. Like gay dog pride, gay dog pride party. Yeah, and to all of you who go, "'Rainbows aren't just for gay people, you guys stole the rainbow.' That's right, and if you want it, you're gonna have to fucking steal it back. And until you do, it's ours, so back the fuck off.

Yeah. So, so all the dogs arrive, they all arrive on leashes, so back the fuck off. Yeah. So all the dogs arrive. They all arrive on leashes, except for Teresa's, of course. Teresa's, Bella comes in. But I'll give it a pass, because Bella's basically the size of a thumb. But I was like, of course Teresa doesn't have her dog on a leash.

Yeah. Yeah. But they're also in the backyards, friends. I feel like you're allowed. Everyone, even Gia shows up, cause Bella was always like, mm, hello there young lady, what. I feel like you're allowed. Everyone, even Gia shows up, cause Bill always like, mm, hello there young lady, what could I do for you?

She's like, hi Bill, hello. Hi Bill, yeah she does do that. She's like, oh hi. Gia flaps her hand forward a lot. She's sort of like a, she's like a- It's her adult thing. Yeah, she's kind of like the top of like a French press or something.

I'm not a French press, it's like what are those things like, you know, when the, like the top of like a French press or something. I'm not a French press. It's like, what are those things like, you know, when the, when the, like the top of like a, she's always putting her nails in the dryer. Yeah. Like, what do you call those things where like the steam comes out and the top goes up like this. But then when the steam stops, the top goes back down again. A steam kettle.

Sure. It's like on the train. She's like, hi. Yeah. G as a friend of, I guess, this season, which is a little weird. I don't need that. And you know what? I'm not a Gia hater or whatever. I don't need your children talking with the other adults. That's reserved for gay boys. You know what I mean? When I was growing up, I did that.

I sat with all my mom's country club ladies after tennis practice, and I'd be like, let's talk shit about Bonnie. That's a real bitch right there, all right ladies? Am I right? Hey guys, I saw Bonnie drinking a little one, too many little squeezes out of the Franzia box there. Anybody else see that? Ronnie, you are so bad.

Bonnie's an alcoholic. And we ruined Bonnie's fucking life, you know? Gay kids can do it, not G is, G is, okay? This is like the rainbow. I feel like this whole episode is trying to steal my life. I know. Back off. You know what's trying to steal my life I know back off, you know, it's trying to steal my life Also, the fact that is so freakin sunny outside. It is literally 8 20 p.m Here everyone gives like like Sweden all the credit for having sunny nights

It is 8 20 and it literally looks like it's 230 p.m. What time is it supposed to get dark? Isn't it summer? So it stays dark forever. I mean stays light forever, right? It's like crazy I feel like Dublin does not get enough credit for being like a light in the summer city That's a light in the summer city. There's a bunch of people who probably hate it I'm surprised because these people drink from morning till night. They really do they really do they I'll tell you one thing. This isn't a sad town. We learned that in Ireland if your town does not have a pub. It's called a sad town Yeah We learned that in Ireland, if your town does not have a pub, it's called a sad town. Yeah. I don't know. There's some of the facts that we learned were a little dubious. Here's what else I learned. Guinness runs everything.

Yeah. If you don't like Guinness, I mean, I dare somebody to drink a Bud Light in this town. You're going to get your ass jumped in the alley. I'll tell you that. They have statues. It's like, here's a beautiful statue garden. Let's look at it. Here's a beautiful statue of Ganesh Really Ganesh? Okay, and then there's like a little mouse standing next to Ganesh holding a Guinness The fuck is that? Well, technically it wasn't a Guinness because if you look closely it says genius It was a Guinness though. It was a Guinness. I mean this whole town literally everywhere you go is Guinness It's like here's the church and there's the mother Mary standingness. It's like, here's the church, and there's the Mother Mary standing there. She's given us so much. Holden the Guinness. There she is. And here's the

baby Jesus nativity scene. And the three wise men bringing him a gift of Guinness, as we all remember from the Bible. Guinness really runs this this ber burg. So Bill, meanwhile, runs his burg. He's like, oh, Gia, hi there. Are you engaged yet? Tell me everything, girlfriend. What's he like? What's he like in bed? Is he long and hard?

What are your all the deeds? Gia, hurry and move on to marriage so you can get the butt stuff. Am I right? Just kidding. JK, LOL. Not kidding. BRB. If things go sour in your relationship, let him know he can always come to my back house.

Hmm. And she is like, oh, you're like, he's not here yet, but he's basically glued in. He works for Louis. Uh-huh, yeah, basically he works for Louis. Get the hell, get your boyfriend out of Louis' office before he's indicted. Yeah. The fuck?

Seriously. So how much do you actually love this person, okay? You need to marry somebody who can stand on their own without having to work for Louie. Yeah. We see what's happening to Orange County Louie already. Which by that is Ryan. Yes.

Ryan of Genbidranti. Like it's only a matter of time. So now we're back in the kitchen and we are meeting yet another new friend. it's only a matter of time. So now we're back in the kitchen. We are meeting yet another new friend. We're getting a lot of friend-ups because we have Tiffany. There was another girl last week.

Maybe this girl was from the girl from last week too, but Lena. So everyone's talking to Lena and everything. And now everyone goes out to the pool house to gather around and sit around the table and talk, et cetera, et cetera. So Jennifer Aiden's like, I'm in, should we start a little doggie fashion show, baby?

Okay, well everyone, it was Olivia's idea to wear a doggie costume. I mean, Olivia's not wearing a doggie costume, but the dog's gonna wear a doggie costume. Biscuit and doggie costume, baby. Okay, so she literally said to me, I wanna have a doggie costume contest and Biscuit's going to win.

I mean, it was funny enough when Jennifer Aiden put the fix in on the teacup reading last year, but now Olivia's like, all right, if mommy can fix the teacups, I'm gonna fix the doggy fashion show, baby. And then Olivia's like, for my birthday, I want Biscuit to win a fashion award, money.

I know. That's all I wanted. Anything for you want Biscuit to win a fashion award, money. I know. That's all I wanted. Anything for you, Biscuit. So they do. They have a doggy show, and people's dog have to come dressed to something, and guess who wins? Fucking Biscuit.

My favorite actually was Lady, because Lady was in some like little red riding hood costume. It was one of those costumes where it's like around the dog's neck, but there was like feet and everything. So if you look at it straight on, it looks like a little person. So Lady was like a dog with like a little red riding, like a hood on her head and little legs. And I just was like, I was laughing not because of the costume, but because at some point Dolores was in a store

and said, Oh, that's funny. I want to put that on lately. It's funny. Also, I like the Chucky one, they didn't use it in this but the funniest one of those costumes is where the dog is wearing an outfit that it makes it look like Chucky running with a knife. That's my favorite one. So they're like, Okay, ladies, biscuit wins, shocker. And Olivia said, I'd like to thank my agent, baby. I'd like to thank biscuits. The real ones though, not the dog biscuit. The biscuits who biscuit was named after.

So she gives a speech and then they're like, let's all take a group picture. Everybody say bacon. And Dolores is like, oh God, bacon is here. Who brought bacon? I thought I left bacon at home. So now they all like settle in and everything. We get down to what we're really here for.

This was all a ruse, a biscuit ruse. We're really here to talk shit about Margaret. Yeah, well, actually before we get into Margaret, we really need Margaret, I guess. What we really wanna talk about is Danielle. So Jennifer Aiden, so Jennifer Aiden is sort of anti-Danielle right now. My theory is that Jennifer set up Danielle

to do the dirty work, to out Melissa's secret, and then when it comes to be that like, Melissa already knew about it or whatever and Jennifer looks stupid since Jennifer's looking stupid in that, she's going to create some distance from Danielle to, you know what, my theory is half baked. I'll come back to it next week. Well, also Danielle is super tacky. So Danielle, like we already all knew this because we watched her show and it's Jersey so everybody's tacky to a degree. But she is super tacky,

like not paying makeup artists and shit tacky. And so I think everyone's like, oh yeah, she's gross. Because listen, there's a lot of people you can piss off on these shows. The other housewives, you can even come for Teresa if you want, don't come after the hair and makeup people. Priscilla will ruin your life. Yeah, so now it's time for Lena.

So Jennifer Aiden's like, Hey, hey everyone, you all know Lena, right? Okay, and guess what? Lena knows Danielle, who's in the Dominican right now, baby. Hey Lena, tell us the story, won't ya? Hey Lena. Hey Lena, just very subtly, tell us something on your mind. We don't care what it is,

what's your favorite kind of bread? Peter? Good, who else is a Peter? Peter steps to the pan of the ass. Go ahead, Danielle, how come? Selena's like, you know what? I don't know Danielle on a personal level. I just, you know, we had an incident that happened at the party, remember?

Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. It could be, and Jackie's like, I don't, I don't. Who is this person? Why is the hair and makeup lady speaking? Who let Priscilla's number two come out here? You know what? Selena's like, you know what? It could have been nothing. It could have been nothing. But I'm going to still put it out on the national platform. You know what? I'm going to do it with the sharpest nails you've ever seen. All right?

So now she asked me to like, you know, touch up her hair or whatever. So one day I opened up my salon for her, like no problem. Am I right? No problem. And she had that event like she was doing a housewife event. Does everybody remember the housewife event? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Does everybody remember it? Does everybody remember? I know it, baby. I remember it well, baby. It was huge. It was huge. It was huge. Plus, I remember, I remember I was gonna bring Bagel. We see a flyer to the event pop up on the screen. It's like, housewives, housewives for charity. And Jen's like, yeah, and February,

send your last Teresa to Laura's, Bagel and us, if we could do a charity event for all four of us. We all said yes, but Bagel's a real bitch and said no. But the rest of us said we'll be there for you. We posted for her on Instagram. I really went extra mile. And you know what? Because she asked me to go, I bought tickets, you know? And you guys all came in, and I'm just me, a regular old hairdresser who opened up her salon after hours for this woman, and I just decided I would support this event whatever it was. So I come in and the waitress comes over to me and says, Oh yeah, um, you don't have a pink wristband. You have to go. And I was

like, I'm not going on Lena. She was like, well, it goes back to Danielle. So she goes back to Danielle and asked Danielle, what's the deal with a beautiful lady with the pit without the pink wristbands? And so this is for the VIP section, right? She didn't have the right wristband to be in VIP. So Lena's like, and then you know what? Danielle goes basically, now I don't know exactly what she said, but I'm just watching like the, you know,

like the flapping, the flapping. So the waitress comes over and says, I'm sorry, you still have to go. And Jackie's like, ah,lapping. So the waitress comes over and says, I'm sorry, you still have to go. And Jackie's like, ah, she kicked a hairdresser out of VIP, wait, you're supposed to do that, right? Does anybody, what world am I in that we let VIP people, that we let hairdressers into VIP?

What a travesty that the hair and makeup people that are so often always in the VIP section with the stars themselves were not allowed in this instance. Yeah, but I guess Lena would be. I mean, you don't keep Lena out of the VIP. She opened up her salon. Lena opened up her salon, all right?

Lena, the girl with one color on these claws and another color on these claws, you're keeping Lena out of VIP? Listen, both colored middle fingers go up to you. I'm just saying. She's like, you know what? And I did it for free. For free, I just did it.

I said, come on, no problem. I'll take care of you. I just feel like it's, could have been nothing though. Could have been nothing. So at least Jen cops to it this time. Because usually Jen's like, hey, let me just suddenly bring this hairdresser, you know, pin the tail on this head shot of stupid Danielle. time, because usually Jen's like, Hey, let me just suddenly bring this hairdresser, you

know, pin the tail on this headshot of stupid Danielle. But this time she's like, you know, Lena's not a group of friends. And she also does her hair on occasion. So I let her come here to give her her side of the story. Yeah, I just said you threw at Lena and like, how do you have the audacity to do that? I want no part of it, baby. I want no part of it. Jennifer Aiden suddenly wants no part of throwing someone out of a party. Since when? Actually, I'm sorry, that was actually not Jennifer Aiden saying that Jennifer Aiden was saying that she called up Danielle to be like, or she asked Danielle like, what the hell's going on with like kicking out Lena? And then and she does a Danielle impersonation, which goes, Oh, I want no part of it, I want no part of it.

And they're like, oh my god, Jennifer Aiden's impersonations are sick. They're sick. They're sick. Sick. Sick. They are sick. So she is like, oh my God, that impersonation so spot on. Spot on.

It was, there was a spot and it was on. It was so spot on. Spot on. It was, there was a spot and it was on. It was so spot on. Commercials, here comes one right now. I'm Shimon Liai and I have a new podcast called The Competition. Every year, 50 high school senior girls compete in a massive scholarship competition. I wouldn't say I have an ego problem, but I'm extremely competitive. All of the competitors are used to being the best

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And Fester's like, Oh, well, I know that you invited Danielle today, right? Fester said, yeah. Oh, she's from the Dominican. I also invited Margaret to because it's a dog party. I didn't want Margaret to hear about it and be offended that I didn't invite her to a dog party. And Teresa stops traffic. She's like, hold on. Wait, the Joe Benino, you know, the guy with the mustache, he brought which dog? Which dog does Joe Bonino bring?

Margaret? Wait, the dog or Margaret? Blink! Margaret is the dog! Got it! Yeah! Did it! What dog did he bring? Margaret or the other dog?

Ha ha. Oh, oh, oh. Margaret or Margaret. No, more dog. What dog does he bring? High five, everyone. How high five was it? No one even laughs at that.

They just kind of look at her. Jen Fester's like, I'm really trying to be on your side, Teresa. But they showed they showed Jackie's like smile like, that was really trying to be on your side, Teresa. But they showed Jackie's smile like, that was actually pretty funny. Surely on the fifth take, I'll laugh at that one. Surely they'll give her another chance. So also they're saying Joe Benigno. Yeah.

Oh, they're not saying Benigno? No, they all say Joe Benigno. Are we saying it wrong this whole time? Because I say people's name wrong all the time. We're trying to be authentic, but we're probably wrong. So everyone's speechless that she would say something so horrible, calling Margaret a dog. So Rachel didn't come because of Teresa.

And for us it was like, Rachel and I, and Margaret had a thing, you know, and you guys were obviously there in Melissa's party, or obviously not there in Melissa's party. And Jackie's like, well, everything ended well, right? Did you speak to Rachel since then? And she's like, yeah, she felt betrayed. You know, I think like her and Margaret both were taken aback when we hugged at the end

of our conversation, which I just can't believe. I can't believe after talking about you for the whole year and calling you a monster and saying I'm terrified of your husband that people would be surprised that I was talking to you at a party. Well, yeah, sometimes I feel like Margaret and Rachel are just a little like territorial, you know, and she is like, it doesn't need to be like that hand flap.

Gia, who is literally only there to say my mom's right. Louis right. Louis such a good person, Louis is correct, everyone just needs to give Louis a chance. And she is like, why is everybody playing on teams all the time? I'm going into immigration law to get my father off. No, who is totally completely misjudged. Why does everyone care about territories so much?

I'm like, you're literally going into immigration law. It's about people being in the wrong territories. I had a dog party. Their dogs are literally pissing all over trees, claiming theirs right now. Well, you know, that's why, you know, I feel like I wouldn't even bat an eye. I'm like, just, I'm so happy for like where we are, you know, like, you know, it just feels good

to like stop fighting and give in and just join the cult. And this way I can just be popular. That Teresa's insincere about Jackie. Well, what's that? It sounded like a game show where they got the question wrong. Did she, did she have to have a bid on prices? I was like.

Ah, ah. So Dolores is like, I must be in the fucking Twilight Zone right now. When did this, like, what? Did I have a stroke? Up until recently, Jackie wanted Teresa dead more than Bagel wanted to hang out with Shmia. more than Bagel wanted to hang out with Shmear. I've never seen somebody, well, that's not true.

Flyswatter was extremely angry when Bacon took her toy. You know, it doesn't always work out like the time that sewing machine accidentally ate some chocolate. So then Jackie's like, so how did you leave it off with Rachel? She's like, fine, we were definitely fine. I mean, well, at the end, she even, you know, she says that she wants Louis and John to talk and think, and I think that's gonna help. I mean, really all you need to do is talk to John Fude,

offer him a credit on something, something small, you know. Oh, by the way, we've been giving John Fude a shit over his IMDB where he got glamour shots. I just saw ByWig Hello Drama. I see everything basically on that account on Twitter. But they posted a picture of a closeup. They're like, please look more closely at these glamour shots that Fudo gave himself.

And he's wearing glasses to look really smart. And there's the sticker that says Armani on the bottom, still on the glasses. Like, girl, were you taking those in the department store and then put the glasses back? Come on. And if you did, I applaud you. You cheap ass.

So Dolores was like, well, maybe they can talk at my game. My softball game is this week. I was like, well, maybe they can talk at my game, you know, my softball game is this week. I was like, oh God, it's already time for the Maimonides game. So- I don't know that the Maimonides game is really big enough to pin an episode on. Can I just say it?

I agree. I was thinking like, I love the cause, but I don't think like, it's not like going to the Berkshires to Dorinda's house. It's just like a big baseball game in Staten Island. Yeah. Um, but it is growing. That was much bigger this year, right?

Yeah. It was up from 33 to 4,000. Yeah. They had to like have a section to rope off the fans. Wow. Did you see them roped off? Uh, I, I saw Lena in there just trying to get her. Lena's like, hi, give me a wristband.

Give me a, remember the time I opened my shop early for you, Teresa? They let me go sit in, they let me film a scene at the dog party. They let me film. It's like, we don't know. She's always getting out of the limo. Like suck it, Lena, okay?

Suck my dick. The best part about the My Monty's baseball game is the way the Real Housewives show up literally acting like they're at the Oscars. And like the crowd reacts like- They do, Theresa, really do. They really act like Nicole Kidman just stepped out. And she's like, ah!

And they're like, oh my God, Nicole Kidman! Theresa just kind of gets out and kind of ignores them and like does that with her hair and then kind of looks over there and she's, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. You know what's weird? The birds have different calls out here in Ireland, obviously, because it's a whole different continent and it's an island.

So all the birds are different. And so like our birds are like, caca, caca, and the Irish birds are like, coo, coo. There was that one today that sounded like a phone alarm number. It was like, brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr. Not to be confused with the walk sound,

which is like, pew. It's like a little laser goes off every time it's time to walk across the street. Also the men sign, so when you're going to the bathroom and you're choosing like men or women, the men stand, they man spread. So they don't stand like in American sign. The man is standing straight-legged

But here he stands with the triangle like his legs are spread and so it looks like a skirt and I keep Not walking into I walk into the other one because I'm like, oh, that's a skirt I saw a men and women sign I feel like in England the men and women sign for the bathrooms were like the thing they had to pee it was like the man the man had like his leg across his other leg and the woman and the woman was like her knees were together I was like it was like they they're like let's come on let's raise the sticks for these for these icons okay we don't want them just to indicate that's a men and a woman's. I want to show what they're really going through at this moment. It's desperation, Toilet.

My mom is. Dolores is like, this is my third year hosting my mom. It is. All right. It's such a beautiful event. And if John and Louie can't put their big boys on and be civil at this charity event, go fuck yourself. So Theresa's like, I mean, do you really want them to be having a put that big boys on and be civil at this charity event, go fuck yourself. So Theresa's like, I mean, do you really want them to be having a conversation out of charity events?

And Gia's like, you know what? I also don't need other people going behind through them. Okay? Hand flap to that. And Dolores is like, they should talk alone. Okay. And Gia's like, I agree. Gia, get Gia out of here. Protect Gia, please get Gia over to the corner. She is doing the worst ever version of Mystery Science Theater 3000. She's just sitting there just adding commentary, but it's not snarky. It's just agreeing. I agree. I don't agree. So she's like, I'm telling you, he's a really good guy, Louie. He said so many great things,

and then he said some bad things. And I look at him now and I go like, Louie, Louie, like that's not the kind of person you are. You know, it's everybody else who's making you into this. No, everyone does not make your parental figures terrible people, Gia. They're already terrible people, okay? It bothers me that that's what Gia's still learned

from these people, and that's why I don't want Gia here. I want Gia protected. I want Gia on protected land where she's not brainwashed into thinking that the only people at fault in this family are everybody else who are making the adults around her act like fucking criminals. Yeah, so Jen Fest was like,

well, can I tell you something? People are saying hateful, disgusting things to each other and that they wouldn't otherwise be saying, and so much of this, I'm gonna say it. I don't want to go back there, but so much of it goes back to you and your brother, Teresa. And, you know, it's like, and they're like, just like, oh no, that's the best. That's the best. No, no, no, I'm not talking about it. I'm not talking about it. But what I'm saying is, it's about Teresa and Joe not talking about it, not talking about it. I'm not talking about it. But what I'm saying is, it's about Teresa and Joe, not talking about it, not talking about it, but it's that sneeze that came from the sound of the heartbreak between you and your brother.

I'm not talking about it. I'm sorry, my dog sneeze just got here. All right, can everybody clear the field? Sneeze, grab the bat, you're up. So Aidan's like, Oh, you know what, can we just stop talking about this? Let's have a cake now, okay?

How about we just have cake? We need to make this call. I just can't have any negativity in this party I brought together just to talk about what an asshole Danielle and Margaret are. Let's knock out our message here. Danielle and Margaret have real problems here. Not to recent job, baby.

Oh, come on, give some food to Bagel, pizza Bagel. So now we go over to Melissa and Joe driving Antonio to college off to the University of Delaware. Let me just take a moment to skip this scene, because there's a lot of lines in here, and I'm not reading any of them. Here's what you need to know. Antonio was once a little girl, and now she's 18. She's gone up to college and they brought a lot of stuff and they made a dorm room and she's dorming with her childhood best friend, which I

think is bullshit by the way. You should have a new best friend. You should go through the pains and the annoyances of having a terrible college roommate. The ups and downs of that. You have to know what it's like to have a sock on the door. And, but anyway, they don't. So anyway, Delaware. Okay, well, that was a lot more than I would have given that. You're a gift giver. You're like a Santa Claus for the Gorgas. So welcome to all those Gorgaheads out there. So Danielle and Nate.

So Danielle's like, we're so busy. We got a family calendar. We got all this shit going on. It's not gonna be a fashion week. You know what I mean? It's crazy. We got all these clothes. We got so much to, we got all this shit going on, it's not gonna be a fashion week, you know what I mean? It's crazy, we got all these clothes, we got so much to do for fashion week, it's like fucking crazy, I said,

we're gonna make fashion week fun. Fuck my dad, though. Let's not overlook their confusion over cleats, by the way, because Nate walks in and he goes, he's like, hey, guess what? Or she goes, he walks in the kitchen, she goes, hey, guess what came? He goes, I was just about to say the same thing. She's like, hey, guess what? She goes, he walks in the kitchen, she goes, hey, guess what came? He goes, I was just about to say the same thing.

She's like, what? He goes, no, I literally got a box. I was gonna say, how you come right now, already? So he opens up the box, he goes, that was truly funny. He opens up this box, he goes, my cleats just arrived. And he pulls out these shoes that are sneakers, they have flat bottoms. And she goes, those aren't cleats.

He goes, yeah they are. I'm like, are you going to do a cleats gaslighting on Danielle? Those were not cleats sir, we all saw, there were no little bumps, there's nothing to grab into the dirt. Gaslighting. I thought our marriage was okay until I didn't understand what cleats are. Now it's not the one that am I losing my mind? How can I even present in New York Fashion Week if I don't even understand what cleats are. Now it's not the one that I'm losing my mind. How can I even present in New York Fashion Week

if I don't even understand what cleats are? So she's talking about Fashion Week, which is, I'm still horrified that she's- Jumped the shark. Let's just say it right now, jumped the shark, cause Danielle- Is it spelled W-E-A-K? Is it like, is it an event for the Fashion Week?

Like a helping thing. Is it like, is it an event for the fashion week? Like a helping thing is someone like, we'd like to invite you to fashion week where we bring people who know how to dress to give you advice. I just wanna know who's playing this prank on Danielle cause she's gonna show up in like basically a warehouse somewhere in like Montclair, New Jersey and be like, oh, here, where's the Anna Wintour? Like, Oh, yeah, just

walk inside the warehouse, Danielle. Oh, I'm sorry, this tickets for Fashion Tweak. Okay. There are three gay people down there to explain different acid washes to you on jeans. Oh, this is for faction week. Yeah, you're gonna learn what gang you're gonna be part of. Faction week. Yeah, you're gonna learn what gang are gonna be part of This is fraction week

We're gonna tell you how to break down a dollar, okay Geez, I don't know. I just don't believe that she's in fashion week. I just refuse to accept it. Yeah, there's no way there's no so She's like yeah, I have custom music cuz you know Cause you know, like fashion shows, everyone's like, yeah, they're like so serious. Oh, everyone's got those serious face, but you know, these are kids that are walking the runway. So we got to do something special. So yeah, you know, me just thinking about the kids.

So how's your mom? Fuck everyone in my family. I hope they're on time. No. She booked the cruise. So no family? No. You know a cruise. Like, so no family? No. You know what?

Nate's father unfortunately passed away and his mom lives in Massachusetts where they don't have cars and she doesn't like to travel and my mom booked a cruise and you know, obviously my brother and my dad won't be there because we're not speaking so no family. Yeah. And she was like, yeah, you know, what said? One of my family support me in my brain. It's like a family who loves me and I just don't got that. I don't got it, baby. I don't got nothing.

Please stop talking about how you're erasing your elderly sweet father who cries every five minutes out of your life. I can't take it, Danielle. Be the bigger person, okay? And she talks about how she says they're not mutually communicating, meaning she's not speaking to him, but he keeps reaching out, probably leaving 10-minute voice

mails sobbing on the phone, you know? And she won't talk to him because he won't disown the brother for her. She's a little shithead. And in the next couple of years, if he has health problems or passes away, she's going to be sobbing about how sad she is that she lost her father and blah, blah, blah, without fixing anything. Go fix it. Go fucking fix it. And she says, he can apologize to me left and right, but he will always, I will always look at him

as someone who let me down. This is your parents. And I'll always look at you as someone who treated their elderly father who only tried to love both of his children like shit. So fuck you, okay? This is your parents. And I'll always look at you as someone who treated their elderly father who only tried to love both of his children like shit. So fuck you, okay? This is someone who's lived such a blessed life

that she's never been let down by a parent ever. Are you kidding me? I mean, I've actually been barely let down by my parents. But the point is this, like she's lived this many years without being let down. You're so lucky. You were so lucky to not be let down. Also, to be honest, I don't believe this is real. I believe that she's not talking to her father,

but I also believe that she came up with an excuse not to talk with her father solely so she could have the storyline, solely so that way she could have a scene later in the season where she hiccups and cries, she goes, Dad, I just missed you so much. I tried to spell let down. And then they could hug and they could have a nice moment on camera. Do you think? Yeah, I just missed you so much. I tried to spell it, Dad. And then they could hug and they could have a nice moment on camera. Do you think? Yeah, I think that's exactly- I think she's just trying to do the Gorgas storyline,

but I do believe she's not speaking to her brother or anything. I believe that, but being the father though, this is so, it's so tenuous. It's like the dad stood up too much for the brother. I think she was looking for a reason to not talk to her father, so that way she could have this all season as her storyline.

Yeah, I just think she's an asshole. I mean, especially on Jersey, this whole show is about family, family, family, family, family. And now you're gonna like be mean to your elderly father who didn't do shit to you because your brother got mad that you talked shit about his wife on the TikTok, girl. But she talks that she has perspective. That's what bothers me.

When she talks about Teresa and Joe, she goes, take it from me. I'm not talking to my brother and what I would do to talk to him. I'll even send him a gift at the reunion, you know? And then next thing we find out, she's not even talking to her father anymore. It's a gross storyline.

So then we go to Dolores and Pauly. Now everybody's getting ready. It's a getting ready scene. And so Dolores is like, this is American baseball, Paulie. I know you're not figuring, you know, I know you're not familiar with it, but listen, you're not familiar with sausage either. And that doesn't stop you from looking

like one in acid wash pants. Why do I keep saying acid wash today? I don't know. I thought you were just calling our dog. Hey, acid wash, get in here. I'm sorry, acid wash's leg is broken. Fleiss water threw it down the stairs. Hey, Paulie,, get in here. I'm sorry, Acid Wash's leg is broken. Fleisswater threw it down the stairs. Hey, Paulie, this is a mitt.

Uh, are we talking about a dog or the glove that you have? The glove. Hey, when was the last time you held a bat? Oh, it was about 25 years ago. Were you playing baseball? Not at all. It was actually a musical instrument from where I come from. So then it's a furry little bird that sees with its ears.

So then the Aiden house, Bill comes in and he's like, hello, hello, hello. I really wish that Jen had had her hair done so that we could have done the scene with Bill sitting on the couch that's in the front of their bed. I know. I need Bill back where he's the most comfortable. Yeah.

On the bed front couch. With his arm back. Hey Bill, I'm going to be doing my hair and a bread so I'm all ready to bat. Mmm. Well, I certainly hope I make it to third base, or maybe even a home run with Joe Gorga. You know, teammates. Mmm. So then Teresa and Louie are talking about, oh my God, we got a kid that went to college.

Oh my God, am I crying? Am I crying? Then we go to the food as, and they're getting ready to being boring. Okay, so then Marge and Joe are talking about how it's the third year in a row. And Marge is like, I couldn't even play because my arm was broken last year.

And this year my heart is broken. I cannot believe I didn't get Shaki's book. I know. What am I supposed to just guess what an eating disorder is now? Like how am I ever gonna recover from this? I cannot believe that I did not get a free copy of Jackie's book.

The first person to ever say that in America. Perhaps the last one. So now we're back to Dolores and Polly's house and she calls, she just calls up the guy from My Monities who says like guess what my monoties have sold 4,000 tickets that's amazing up from what from 33 that's amazing it's amazing it is amazing it's stunning but you know what here's the thing Paulie I'm having this baseball game is it for kids with cancer

sure but you know I don't know if it's right to be throwing all of my friends into a pressure cooker. Why are you feeding them all to pressure cooker? Pressure cooker's about five pounds. Not the dog, Paulie. An actual pressure cooker. Oh, that makes me feel much better. We really do need to stop feeding pressure cooker less. Between pressure cooker and Instant Pot, it's hard to know which dog they're talking about. So now we're back in the Aidan household. I'm so excited to be there Bill.

He's like, hmm, I'm excited. I'll be there too. I'll be coming on in. Well, you know what? Mark was going to be there with Joe. He's like, ooh, right, little Joey B. Yes, and would you know, her and I gonna be that with Joe. He's like Yeah, so much, you know, we're in a good place right now So then the Gorgas They're like, oh my god, are we gonna talk to Bill Aiden like what's gonna happen? What's gonna happen and then we see a flashback where Gorgas invited Tony the Turks at the party and Bill was like Hmm, I really think the girls should work it out and the boys should work it out in our own way. See what the urinals halftime hashtag back house. So then

Melissa is like, you know, the fact that Jen went and told that rumor to Danielle, and we see a flashback to where we are, Ireland, about like, you know, the rumors, like, I don't know if you heard this, but Margaret's friend, Joey, told Margaret that Melissa was getting to an appointment with a guy who wasn't your girl, it was another guy, and I don't know, I've never heard such a thing in my life,

don't you wanna tell everyone, Danielle? That was so ham-handed. They're like, Jen, you already told me that information off camera and I told you I didn't care and that Joe knows I'm not cheating on him. Why did you bring it up on camera? Cause that was the narrative that was going on at the time. You brought up you fucking amateur. She's the most entertaining amateur. I know. I fucking love her.

It's like, Jennifer, it's very clear Melissa already knew this. Why are you being so messy? Huh? Biscuit! The winner is Biscuit! Livia just comes in with a golden, you know, Oscar. Okay, so, um, Theresa and Louie back to Theresa and Louie. And Theresa like, the other day, I went to Jen dog's biscuits first birthday party All right, what a sentence? What a sentence and here's what I said Dog party, okay, and Teresa goes yeah

Oh, well, you know what? If you want to have a conversation, it should be 10 seconds, because listen, you can say, listen, this happened, this happened, and I'm sorry it's over. And if it takes any further than that, then I don't really start fights, but I will definitely finish one in Nona's pajamas.

So now we go to the soft, now this is where all the fans are outside, the Ma-mon-a Maimonides baseball game screaming and people start arriving and you know the shots of all the stars arriving. So Marge hugs Danielle and she's like have a sit Dominican and they're making small talk you know and Marge is like oh so you missed the puppy party huh and Danielle's like oh you want she goes no I didn't, I didn't go. I didn't go. She did, though. This is where she's like, yeah, this is right. She points at Jackie, but she hides it with

her hand. This one went. This one went to the puppy party. Traitor Benedict Arnold. So Danielle's like, oh, yeah. I mean, by the way, Jackie, who invited you to Jen's puppy party?" And Jackie's like, I'm friends with Jen. I've been friends with Jen. And you, ma'am, I know Jen. I love Jen. What are we even talking about here? I've always been friends with Jen. Jen and I have been close. We're sisters. We're basically sisters. The only person I'm not friends with you is with you. And then Danielle just nods. She's like, ah, ah, because she hates her. She's not going to make any attempt to make up with her. And Jackie's trying to do the whole like, yeah,

why aren't we friends? Why wouldn't you invite me? And Danielle's just nodding like, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. Fashion week. Fashion week. Yeah. And Danielle's like, um, and her confessional. She's like, um, hello, Jennifer didn't even

tell me that Melissa knew about the cheating rumor. And now she's friends with Jackie all of a sudden. And then Jackie's like, yeah, she and I have been friends since 2018. We've always gotten along quite well, especially when I've written articles about her in the past. So, uh, Jim, uh, she was like, so did I not tell you that she was coming? And Danielle's like, no, and that's the recurrent thing. I think if you not tell them to think, you know, that's crazy.

I thought crazy. I don't know. Well, this is my brother. No, you told my brother you want to fucking talk to my brother before you talked to me. Are you sure about that bitch? So, uh, Marge, Marge, uh, she's like, you know what? You know what?

You and Danielle weren't close and you weren't getting along and you can't take such personal offense, okay? Rachel Fuda, right? Is she talking Rachel? Who's she saying that to? Where is it? Down here? I just got lost. I just went to the just went to that line. Oh, she's. Oh, no, she's saying you can't take personal offense, Danielle. Oh, yeah, she's saying yeah, she's's saying, Jackie, she's saying you and Danielle weren't even close, you can't get mad that she's not inviting you to a party. And Jackie's like, you know what, you know what I'm

getting here, you don't really take my side and anything is what I'm getting sick. You know what my whole life my entire life, I've taken your side. When I was born, I literally popped out of the womb and said, How's Jackie doing? Is she okay? Can we get a bottle of water? I was a secretary in the eighties. I didn't even know you yet. The phone rang and I said, hello, is Jackie okay?

Before I even take this call, is Jackie okay? I remember learning my ABCs and I was like, A, B, C, D, E, F, G, how is Jackie doing right now? How far the alphabet is Jackie? How about this? I'm at H-I-J-K. Okay, how about this? Give her my K. All right.

I just want to help her along through the alphabet. Three's company. You know, there was Chrissy, there was Janet, and there was Jack. And I always said, God, I love Jackie. I love Jackie. Jackie's my favorite. I always, always, my whole life, I've taken you aside. And Jackie's like, no, you've made a lot of excuses for why it's okay for someone to make me the only person on Cutout.

And that's fine if that's how you really feel. Really? I came out, I didn't even ask for milk. I asked for Jackie. That was my first word. Wasn't even mama. It was Jackie. Okay. So like, you're making a lot of excuses and for why it's okay for somebody to make me the only person who was cut out, but fine. That's how you were cut out because you said that Danielle was tacky and gross and had stupid, ugly, poor people clothes. You weren't wrong. You weren't kicked out for being wrong. You were kicked out for being rude. So that's kind of your own fault. But I get what you're saying. Margaret's over here

like falling all over herself. Like I cannot believe people are sticking up for me. But then the second it's turned, she's like, you shouldn't be mad. Nobody likes you. Don't be upset. You know, this is the way I feel. I mean, by the way, Jackie, what have you ever done for me?

Okay, what have you done for me lately? Do-do-do-do-do-do. Ooh, ooh, yeah. And Jackie's like, are you kidding me? No, I'm not kidding. Okay by the way it was the anniversary of Jan's death. Oh wow oh wow I didn't even realize I think you didn't okay because you didn't even call me all week. Not all week Jackie okay and she's like oh but did you post about on social media? No I didn't but you know what Jan Fessler and everybody knows because they call and Dolores checked on me and called me three times. To be fair, when Dolores called, she said,

sorry, when I picked up the phone, I meant to pick up my dog phone instead I picked up the actual phone. But that's, that's irregardless of what's going on. Okay, Jackie, the point is you didn't call me about Jan. Yeah, when Dolores called, I said, are you calling me because Jan died? And she asked, Fan died?

And then started whistling around the house for the dog, Fan. It's terrible. She also had a lot of confusion because the house for the dog, Fan. It's terrible. She also had a lot of confusion because she has a dog named Fan Fan. So between Fan and Fan Fan, there's a lot of thoughts going on. But enough about her. So she's like, yeah, well, you don't even give me the time of day anymore. I don't know why I would be calling you.

Jackie, how many times have I asked you for your book? How many times in my life? OK, when I was graduating from high school and they handed me a diploma, I said, I don't want the diploma. I want Jackie's book. Has she written it yet? Is it out yet? I want it. Literally, every single time I go to Starbucks, they say, what's your name? I said, doesn't matter what my name is. I want Jackie's book. And they write that on a coffee cup every single day. And you don't even give me a book when those poor people are writing that. That's a very long name to write.

And Dolores is in the background like, Oh my god, this is getting bad at Ma-mon-a-dees. So Jack is like, I don't even give out books. My mother hasn't even read a book. My mom, my mom hasn't read that. Really? You gave it to Jen Fessler in December. She goes, Okay, well, that was six months ago. Oh, yeah, well, you sent it to Melissa. You know what, Melissa, would you, it would be more useful to send her, I don't know, a ruler.

Like, who? Who? Who would? Why are we giving Melissa my dog? So, Margaret's like. I never liked that dog. Margaret's like, you know, I championed you for that book. I championed you.

And she's like, what are you talking about? You saying that I got a book deal because of you? No, but I'm saying I'm the first one who knew about your book and I chat. Let me tell you something. One night I was suckling at my mother's teat. I said, mommy, this is too much milk. So while I'm sitting here, I want you to know something.

Jackie should write a book. Okay, give me that breast again, I want more milk. Well, you know what? I've asked you about your book. I've asked you about your book. You didn't give me your book. It shouldn't be that surprising. It should not be that surprising to me.

She's like, nobody's read my book. Margaret, don't get in too deep. You're going too deep, Margaret. Like, you know what? I can talk about my mother, but you can't. When did I say anything about your mother? Okay. I said your mother had the opportunity

to read a terrible book before I did. I said, all I said is your mother never advocated for you the way I advocated for you, the way I championed your book. Or your mother did nothing. That's all I said. You gave her a makeover and she got back on Frizzy here. That's all I said is your mother never advocated for you the way I advocated for you, the way I championed your book, or your mother did nothing. That's all I said. She gave her a makeover and she got back on Frizzy here. That's all I said.

Your mother gave birth to you. I was there. She said, can I have a drink? I said, are you going to ask about Jackie? Because that's what I care about right now. Where's Jackie? What is she thinking? What is she writing?

Well, the publisher sends it to people who ask me to do press with them. I can't do this with you writing. I can't do this with you, Margaret. Yeah, I can't do this with you either. Okay, but you press with them. I can't do this with you right now. I can't do this with you, Margaret. Yeah, I can't do this with you either. Okay, but you're not even listening. I can't deal with you right now. I'm very hard. I am, by the way, America, what I'm slowly realizing is that for a very long time I've

been letting Margaret feel like she was here and I was under her. But like that, like I was part of her entourage or something, which even though I was technically a friend of, I wasn't part of an entourage. So she's like, you know what, just be what you want to be, everybody else. She's like, I do not need to give you a fuck, Margaret. How about being my friend? I'm not doing this. Then don't do it, Margaret. You keep saying don't do it, then don't do it. You keep saying I can't, then don't do it. Don't say I can't, blah, blah. So they just kind of break up and they're super pissed at each other now. So Jen sees this and she's loving it.

She's like, oh my God. Oh, ow. Oh no, baby, careful, don't hit your head on the early sort of paintings. They're in the hot air room, baby. Thank God that's screwed into the wall. That could have been ugly. That was an exclusive for Crappies Under Man'sers sing ron and get soldiers jennifer ate and he banged his head

against the painting in the room baby he's like watching someone kick a fox out of black so jennifer's like oh my god jackie and margaret going to town like this give me the popcorn baby so then um everyone's like oh my god they're fighting and Marge's like I never thought this would happen and Jackie's saying you threw a lot of mean things at me there and she's like oh my god it's a popcorn baby. So then Marge keeps going she's like Jackie have I ever met someone as self-centered as you I'm actually shocked at your behavior I am absolutely I'm actually shocked at your behavior. I am absolutely shocked. I got that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Oh, yeah. All right. So then Louie and Teresa get the

star treatment when they arrive people are having to be held back the barricade to try not to get to Louie and say, ah, wow. Blink blink blink blink. So they go in and everybody's saying Hello, the Gorgas come. And now Melissa and Tiffany are talking. And Tiffany's like, see, I thought it was going to be human. So I put deodorant on my hairline. That's what we did when I was a teenager. We thought it was human. So it was going to sweat. So we put deodorant on our hairline. Yeah. When I danced for the Jets, we put deodorant on our hair. Like, you know, I've known there's been a lot of dysfunction

on the New York Jets for a while, but like now finding out they're putting deodorant on their hairlines, it really brings it to a new level. Also, this show really is a pioneer in terms of unorthodox facial treatments. Between Caroline Manzo shaving her forehead and this girl putting deodorant like out of her widow's peak. It's just a lot Yeah, so and whatever's been going on with Teresa on that forehead for years. God knows what's been going on

Teresa trying to put deodorant on her forehead. She's gonna wind up with a little white mustache. I Used to put deodorant on my armpits, but I would somehow hit my forehead with it anyway. Like so low, it's just there. It's just like, got it. So now it's like baseball time and hi everyone. It's my monoties. So with Laura says she's doing this really actually on top of everything else, she's doing this for Gertie because Gertie at the time of this was battling breast cancer.

So very lovely that she did that. We love Gertie. We love Gertie's journey, etc. So basically they play football, right? So then, let's see, Rachel is, what's happening? Louis goes up to bat. I'm just reading through all the fate the baseball notes. So Teresa comes up to Jackie and Jen Fessler and Jen Aiden. So it's like their team. So Jen Aiden is like, Oh, my God, what was that fight with Margaret about?

They were going at her and Margaret and Jackie's like, No, no, no, no, it's not like a real fight. It's just like, you know, a book fight. You know, she wanted to read my book. You have a book? It's just like, you know, a book fight. You know, she wanted to read my book. You have a book? Yeah. Who would do that, baby? Let's change concepts.

So you're going to throw it at somebody? No. Throw a book at somebody? No. Then why you got one? She's talking about me. That's not right. Look at her. She's talking about, I can't believe that she's actually talking about me. Am I talking got one? She's talking about me. That's not right. Look at her.

She's talking about. I can't believe that she's actually talking about me. Am I talking about her? Sure. But is she talking about me? Yes. That's unacceptable. So Marge is just really not handling any of this well and she's looking extremely out

of control. So she marges up to Jen Pestler and Pestler is like, hello baby. And she's like, what's's what's going on? Listen, I have to be honest, I'm very hurt by who you want to associate yourself with. It's not fair. And it's not right. It's not fair. But it's not right. I'm gonna make it through this my monitors game anyway. Okay, I'll have to work on it. That was supposed to be for you, John, but it just didn't work out very well. It was not a good spoof of Whitney Houston. I apologize, New Jersey's own Whitney Houston.

Okay, anyway, going on. Honey, if people are nice to me, I'm gonna be nice back. I just don't have the mechanism to look for trouble. And Marge was like, all right, well, this is the whole thing. I don't threaten people's families. They threaten people's families, and that's just not fair. And she's like, well, because of you two, I get where you guys stand.

I get that. She goes, I just can't connect with people ever do things like that. Now you're being with her. It's not right. It's not fair. Who brought you something? Dominique left his key in the room.

So I just have to give it to him. Oh for Christ's sake. For Christ's sake, I'm sorry everyone. It was an invisible Dominique cameo on the podcast. So the baseball game continues. Hot dogs are racing. Joe Gorgor goes over to Bill and he's like, Hey, there he is. Billy, he's like, Oh, wow. Listen, right now, my job is to take you down. If there's one thing I can do is go down. So get over here, big man. Put those arms around me.

I'm going to tackle you to show what sort of man I am to my wife by bracing a man and putting his muscles against my body and feeling them writhe in my arms. Hmm. Yeah, it's just like wrestling with him. He's like, oh yeah, I have to be mean to you if I'm going to be a real man. You like that? Hmm? A little finger up the bung hole?

Mm, take that, you bad boy. Mm, Joe Gorga, you're really in the dog house, which means I guess you're gonna have to take it doggy style. You know what I'm saying? Mm. So then Jen sees this and she's really pissed off that Bill's horsing around with Joe Gorga. Because everything in this episode is people being mad

that people are talking to people. That's every single person is mad that people are talking to people. That's every single person is mad that somebody is talking to the other person. So then Danielle, or not Danielle, who cares? Frank, yeah, I'm gonna fast forward through all the small things. It's more like little like junk happening. And so, yeah, Melissa is like,

so were you talking to Bill? And Joe's like, yeah, I talked to Bill. And she's like, was it a happy talk? He's like, it was a happy talk. I mean, I'm walking a little funny now, I ain't gonna lie. So, so she's like, okay. So Jen's standing with Bill and Melissa just marches on up. She goes, hi. He's like, ooh, hello, devil.

But Jen's mad at, she's mad at Bill. She's like, I can't believe you're hugging Joe Gorga. It gives the impression that you don't support me, Bill. He's like, I can't believe you're hugging Joe Gorga. It gives the impression that you don't support me, Bill. He's like, I do support you, and I supported Gorga. I mean, I was part of his spine for a moment there. Ha ha ha ha. So Melissa walks up, hello, speak of the devil. Actually, am I the devil?

No, you're not. She's like, look, okay, I mean, okay, I'm coming over here because like, all right, well, I know you have a certain amount of loyalty to certain people, blah, blah, blah. You're getting into more scenes than I am. I gotta recruit people to my side. Let's see, what can we do to make a deal here? What can I do to get you into the Melissa Gorgor car tonight? So she's basically like,

listen, you and I should be able to be friends even if you're friends with Teresa. And Jen's like, oh my God. She's like literally wringing her fingers. Like, oh my God, I'm gonna get killed for this. Is Teresa around, baby? Am I going to get caught talking to somebody I'm not supposed to be talking to when I'm already mad at somebody for talking to who I'm not supposed to while I'm accusing somebody else of talking to somebody they're not supposed to be talking to? Oh my God, it's so confusing.

Biscuit's like, sorry, but I'm an award winner now. I don't have time for you. So basically Melissa and Jen agree that they're going to meet up and they're going to talk things out and they're going to figure out what's going to get what's about. Oh, uh-huh. Uh-huh. And we haven't seen this five million times. It's a typical housewives thing.

Let's meet at a lunch. Everything's gonna be okay for about 10 minutes. So now Bill is like, oh, go Joe, go Joe, get a fucking hit Joe. Hey, that's your brother-in-law. Do you call him brother-in-law now or no, Louie? And Louie's like, I don't really wanna talk about him, all right?

Yeah. And in the end, Dolores raised over $200,000 for my monities, and that made my year. And that was it. That was it, that was it. That was basically it. I mean, listen, that was a bigger charity give than Biscuit being told she was the best dressed. Yeah.

Lame ass little dog that little cheater biscuit. And that brings us to the end of that's the end of New Jersey everybody. Um, we should love you. Thanks for being with us. We'll be back tomorrow with a little blow dick. All right, we sure will be and we'll catch you the next one. Bye everyone! Bye! Itchels! Erin McNicholas! She don't miss no trick-a-lis! She's never scary, it's the green fairy! Jamie! She has no less name-y! Hava Nagila Webber!

Know your worth with Jason Kurtz! Sip some scotch with Jessica Tratch! She's always supplying, it's Kelly Ryan! Kristen the Piston Anderson! Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino! We wanna hang with Liz Lang! Megan Berg! you can't have a burger without the Berg. The Bay Area Betches, Betches. And our super premium sponsors. Somebody get us 10 ccs of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Kaitlyn O'Neal. Don't get salty

with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides! We forever love Ava! Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall! We got our wish, it's Jen Plish! She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch! She's a little bit loony. Junie! My favorite Murdo!

Karen McMurdo! We love him madly, it's Kyle Pod Shadley! Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender! The incredible, edible Matthew Sisters! Give him hell, Miss Noelle! Love him madly, it's Kyle Podshadley. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender, the incredible, edible Matthews sisters. Give him hell, Miss Noelle. Ring that bell for Rochelle. She's the queen bee, it's Sarah Lemke.

Shannon out of a cannon, Anthony. Let's take off with Tamla Plain. She ain't no shrinkin' Violet Couture. We love you guys. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch or Crap and add free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen ad free with Wondry Plus and Apple Podcast. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. Peyton, it's happening. We're finally being recognized for being very online.

It's about damn time. I mean it's hard work being this opinionated. And correct. You're such a Leo. All the time. So if you're looking for a home for your worst opinions, if you're a hater first and a lover of pop culture second, then join me, Hunter Harris, and me, Peyton Dix, the host of Wanderys newest podcast, Let Me Say This. As beacons of truth and connoisseurs of mess, we are scouring the depths of the internet so you don't have to. We're obviously talking about the biggest gossip and celebrity news.

Like it's not a question of if Drake got his body done, but when. You are so messy for that, but we will be giving you the b-sides, don't you worry. The deep cuts, the niche, the obscure. Like that one photo of Nicole Kidman after she finalized her divorce from Tom Cruise. Mother, a mother to many. Follow LetMeSayThis on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen to episodes everywhere on May 22nd

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