Watch What Crappens - #2441 PumpRules S11E18 Part 2: Fall of the Baby Baker
Episode Date: May 29, 2024*This is part two of a two-part recap!* Vanderpump Rules ends its reunion (S11E18) by showing the cast footage of themselves acting like the narcissists they are. Will LaLa’s point finally ...be made, or will she shrink when water is thrown on her and screech about being a baby maker until she’s just a puddle on the floor? Watch this recap as a video and get our bonus episodes at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Once Upon a Beat. Hi everyone, welcome back. This is part two of a two part recap. If you're wondering where
part one was, we'll go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe. That way you always
get your episodes. But enough of that. Let's get right back into the episode.
So it will end up being Vanderpoop drools. You know, that's what we called it back in
the day. Vanderpoop drools. and it will end that way, you know?
So it's just gonna end with Ken just sitting there
like slowly drooling as people, you know,
slow dance around him and a boat goes down
like the Titanic, a dinner cruise just slowly sinks
with Sheena pretending she's on dancing,
but hold on, I'm doing a passo doble,
a passo doble, a paso doble,
a paso doble.
Okay, so now we have, like, so they come out of this
finally and Andy's like, all right.
Sorry, not enough applause was given to Sheena drowning
doing a paso doble on a dinner cruise.
I'm so sorry, I was already looking at my notes.
No, that was to the audience, that was to the audience.
The audience is like, whatever, just going around
in the grocery store, getting the rest of my groceries.
They're like, I'm just about to fall asleep because that's by the way, 90% of the comments
we get at our live shows is like, Oh my god, it's so great to meet you. I go to sleep listening
to you guys. Like so many people tell us that they fall asleep listening to us. I'm like,
that's great. That's great. We're like, we're boring the fuck out of our audience.
So.
Well, we're definitely not a, we're not someone who really values time.
I'll tell you that.
Yeah.
We're like, hi, we'll be doing this episode for five years.
I hope you enjoy.
I fall asleep listening to your episodes and I wake up while you're on the same episode.
This show's been on 11 years.
We have not shut up since it started.
Like literally, we've
not stopped talking.
Andy's like, so Ariana, what's your reaction to that? And producers, if you want to get
real close up on her eyes, because the every single drop coming out of them, I am ready
to do so.
And she, wait, who? Ariana?
Yeah.
So where are we? She, wait, who? Ariana? Yeah. The Ariana film? Yeah.
So where are we?
And so Andy is like, so it's like after all that stuff
and Ariana's like, she isn't the first time I really,
I actually feel like we're really seeing her
like sort of like really hurting and crying.
Well, she'd been hurting, but like we're seeing her crying
and just like broken down by all this.
She's been very tough through all this
as for whatever reasons, but now she's really just like...
I thought this was really sad.
It was really sad to me.
When she said, you know, like, that was really hurtful, and I think this was just so simple and well said,
and I wish that somebody had brought it up earlier in the season so she could have just said this to shut them up.
Not that it would have. But when she said, you know, that was me being my honest self.
Yeah. Like I felt so deeply and I'm not gonna be here.
So for him to put on this fucking water work show, that is me.
Who do you want me to be?
You know?
It's a sand of all actively doing the water.
Yeah.
He's like, hold on.
Let's pretend this is a window.
Oh, you know me well enough to know that that was not acting, man.
When you saw me in the movie, I can't act.
She's like, no, I don't believe that.
And he's like, well, you know me.
And she goes, no, I don't believe you.
And she's like, and when you didn't get what you wanted, what you said about me to try
and triangulate everyone against me, which was him, you know, obviously saying she doesn't
even like you guys. And he's like, but you were saying this about me the whole summer that I was using
Sheena and I was using. She's like, why would I have said anything else about you? You just
fucked me over three months before. Like, what the hell? Why is everybody? It's like, what? Why
is everybody acting like this is no big deal? You know? And she's like, you're acting like you did
nothing to me, you know? And then in that, you're acting like you did nothing to me,
you know, and then in that last sec,
cause she saw when the whole season ends
and it ends with him going, wow, it was good for me.
Laughing evilly about Lala going off, you know?
And saying like, oh, well I look better at least,
you know, she's like, how is anybody like sitting here
listening to this bullshit?
You just saw the real him right there. Does nobody even care? And he is like, he is crying here and she's like, how is anybody like sitting here listening to this bullshit? You just saw the real him right there
Does nobody even care and he is like he is crying here and she's and she's like I just want you gone
I just want you gone and I feel like that was such a pure moment
You know because people just don't seem to appreciate that. That's really all she's wanted. She just wants her peace
She wants to recover she wants to heal and she just't want to have to talk to this fucking dickwad.
Well, I just don't understand everyone's like, well, if you're going to be on the
show, then you have to deal with your ex-husband.
It's real.
No, it's not.
In real life, you don't have to fucking deal with your ex.
You want to burn them alive, and you talk about it to everyone you see.
That's it.
I don't know anybody who is forced to talk to their ex all the time.
That's ridiculous. So, uh, Ariana's like, I just want you away from me. I don't know anybody who is forced to talk to their ex all the time. That's ridiculous.
So, uh, Ariana's like, I just want you away from me. I just want you gone. I don't want
to be in a position where I'm being forced to talk with you. And he's like, but that's
our job, man. And I'm sorry. I did come to you off camera numerous times. She's like,
no, you didn't because when we came back from San Francisco, you were actually sitting on
the couch, which by the way has never happened because we don't like cross paths in our house, but you were sitting on the couch and whatever
needed to be said in San Francisco could have been said in that moment and it wasn't said.
And he's like, yeah, but like, like that's the thing. Cause like, it's always having
that one conversation with the one person you don't want to have it with, you know,
like Lala said, that's what we do.
No, she had the conversation with you when she told you to go fucking die and she was
never going to speak to you again. It's not like she never had the conversation. She had it, okay?
It's not everyone's job to come forgive you every time you fuck up, okay? Call Jesus.
Jared Saisnick Yeah. She's like,
I'll have that conversation with everyone else, but I'm not in the right place to have that
conversation with you. And that last little thing, like, it's good for me. It's right there.
In that moment, I was about to be used. And I going I was like this this is gonna be like me this could be him Chris is crying in
Miami moment and then it cuts back to Santa ball crying to Kristen in Miami
and Ariana's right that is what Santa ball was gonna do he was gonna have a
crying moment
where he could look like the real tortured soul, the flawed hero who messed up, and she
was like, I'm not gonna give it to you. And when you said, it's good for me, showed how
fake he was being.
He's like, that was completely different. Like, it's one thing if I'm acting like I'm
crying and no tears are coming out, but I'm really good at getting tears to come out
and I deserve credit for it.
Ah, ah, ah.
Yeah.
I'm an emotional person, man.
Like, come on, you know me.
You're emotional when you're not getting your way.
You have no emotion when you're completely
fucking somebody over and fucking one of their best friends
in their bed when their grandmother died
and their dog died, you piece of shit.
I love it.
Like, I'm so emotional.
No, you're not.
You cry when it affects you.
He does have a watertight case on one point though.
He's like, dude, you do know me, okay?
You know that I'm right-handed.
I have brown eyes.
I can buy batteries really well and put them in drawers, man.
You're literally spray tanned, botox,
and filler to the hilt.
Can we please not talk about how real you are
and everything we know about you to be true? Shut the fuck up, Clea. So, Sandoval, Katie's like, Oh my
God, well, maybe it was like the lying and fucking her best friend for seven months that
threw her off. I'm not really sure.
Yeah. And Ariana's like, Yeah, like, I'm sorry. That's something that you have a hard time
with. But this is like these are consequences of your actions towards me
It's like well, obviously like our relationship wasn't perfect
She's like I'm not gonna rehash our relationship again because she knows he's already gonna start saying like
It's like that's not the point
It's not the time to litigate the relationship you fucked up everything you could have litigated that before you did that
You know, that's not the time. Yeah, so he does the whole thing like, I just want to say to you, I'm sorry, and I'm not asking you
to forgive me. I know you won't. I just know you, like, you don't want to be around me, like,
whatever religion it was, the good, the bad, whatever you did, whatever I did, which is not
as much as what you did, but you did a lot. And so, like, all the things that you did that I suffered
through, you know what? I just want to say, I'm sorry that you did that to me.
He is.
It's like, I wear what I did to you as a bag of shame
and whatever you did to me is like, totally,
I'm not even gonna talk about it right now
because I'm really sorry, Arianna.
So he's been taught,
they literally tried to teach him all season long
how to apologize correctly and he never could get it.
And now he-
Almost got this one. Now he of did it where he's like,
it doesn't even matter that our relationship sucked.
It's not about that.
What I did had no excuse and I'm very, very sorry.
But it's like, bro, it's taken a year
and everyone literally wrote that for you
and you've refused to just say that for a whole year.
Like, what is she supposed to do?
But also like, again, he just does not,
he almost gets it right, but when he goes,
the good, the bad, whatever you did, whatever I did,
like that little phrase, whatever you did, whatever I did,
why are you inserting whatever you did in there?
You, it's just whatever I did, and that's it,
because you were the one who cheated with the best friend.
Well, and when she's like, and then you were the one who cheated with the best friend. Well, and when she's like, you know, and then you burnt,
you were the one who brought this person
into both of our lives and you brought her
in this fucked up way.
And this bitch has to talk about me all the time.
I mean, Raquel has a fucking podcast where every day now
it's like she goes up there and she makes Ariana
into some monster who made her do all of this, you know?
Which it's like, and it works.
Like look at all these people who are like,
fuck the lady you got cheated on.
Yeah.
Like acting like fucking monsters
when this chick has done nothing.
And you've got these people out there constantly going
and Raquel constantly,
oh, let me talk about going wrong with Raquel.
About what a fucking victim she is
and putting her through a lawsuit
and everything else is fucking ridiculous, you know?
Yeah, exactly. So Sandoval says basically like, no, I'll give you some space. We'll
work things out with the lawyers and everything. So it is like, okay, well, so I guess the
other thing I was curious about was, what did you think about what Lala said?
So now, Rihanna's crying again. And she's like, well, you know, it really hurts my feelings
a lot. It really does.
And like, I was trying so hard
and I feel like it's our job to live our lives
and I'm living authentically by walking away from that.
Like, that's what I would do.
Yeah, and Schwartz is like,
well, you know, I think the walk away was earned.
I mean, I agree with Lala when it happened,
but now I feel like it was well-earned.
Thanks.
It's like, now that I feel like the audience
is gonna be on your side
because of your
performance here today, I'm going to go with you for the moment.
Wissy washy.
I decided to back out of this primary race and endorse you instead.
Fucking wishy washy, spineless piece of shit Schwartz, as usual.
And so she's like, you know, I could have talked to you for the show, but it doesn't
thrive when things aren't real.
And it wouldn't have been real. In real life, I want you to die in a fucking fire. That's
it. I love the way she flipped that. I need to say it, you know?
I love the way she flipped that. She's like, I like, the authentic thing I would do would
be walk away. So, and he asks, she does reaction. She's like, Yeah, well, right. When I saw
Tom like approaching and like she started off like so quickly, I really knew that like, we just like have to let her go. And like when Lala I completely understood her frustration
and like I knew she needed support in that moment.
Oh, Sheena shut the fuck up. Sheena is such a fucking mayor. She's trying to win every side here. You chose your
side. You talk shit with Lala all year and chose your side. And now that you know, you're going to get excoriated
online, you're coming in with all this mayor speak to try and get yourself saying they get the fuck out of here.
She's saying I knew Lala needed support in that moment and
didn't want her to feel alone. How about you didn't want Ariana
to feel alone? Who cares about what Lala doesn't have to worry
about feeling alone? She Lala's Lala's drives being the only one
beats having a big monologue.
So Lala's like, I mean, granted, my ex wasn't on the
shelf. But when he did what he did, I was questioned on well,
we're really sorry that he did that. But you probably should
have known Lala, you dated a necklace turtle with a casting
couch, who was already banging someone else that picked you up
as a hostess sent you a Range Rover the next day, you were
sending nasty tweets and texts and shit to his wife, your
relationship was fucking disgusting.
And granted, you were young and I get it,
like he's an older person,
he had more responsibility in that than you.
He was a disgusting piece of shit.
This is someone's like love of 10 years
that they bought a house together.
Like, what are you talking about?
How are you comparing that as if it's the same thing?
Give me a fucking break.
And you didn't give a shit what Rand was doing
until he was broke and articles were coming out about it. Give me a break.
And Rand also didn't cheat on you with your best friend, like Sheena.
So it sucks. He cheated on you with an endless stream of other lalas, which you were fine with
before you knew that he was broke. It was the same week.
It sucks that you were cheated on. No one deserves that. But this is just not the same situation.
It's not not the same situation
It's not all the same thing, but I've created life
so I'm a life creep Lala is just upset because
When she went through a tough time people were like, okay
And that Ariana when she goes to a tough time Ariana is getting like lots of stuff
It's not the same thing
But it's like things in life you treated women like shit to get your man and everyone knows
it. That's the difference. You're sitting here trying to pretend it's this feminist thing like
why is she getting all this attention? I'm not because of how you treated women to get your man.
Do you understand? You totally backstabbed a woman on TV to get your man and nationally to
get your man. It's not different. You were fucking shitty to women when you were getting your man.
It's not the same thing. It doesn't mean you deserve what happened to you with that guy. I think I was a fucking pig
We all saw it coming and we especially were like don't do it. Yeah, we've always loved you on this show
We're like don't do it, but then don't do it and then act like you had no idea who you were dating
I can't think that's the thing there enabled a fucking monster and you were acting like a monster. Sorry
I'm done now and you were acting like a monster. You don't get to come back and act like a fucking villain
I mean a fucking victim
Yeah, and then she's well, she's like, you know what?
Ariana's as much as I'm grateful that Ariana has not experienced what I've experienced. I'm a little fucking good
Ariana has literally experienced I think terrible things
I think what she's saying is like, I have the babies.
So you don't know what it's like to be cheated on
when you have the babies.
Which by the way, that is terrible.
And that is a specific thing.
But she's acting like Ariana went through nothing.
Ariana went through the most high profile cheating
that seems, it feels like the most high profile
cheating scandal since like Bill Clinton,
Bill and Hillary Clinton.
That's what it feels like sometimes.
Although I'm sure there are some that would say
the Try Guys was equally as important in pop culture,
but I don't think so.
And she's like, well, yeah, you know,
sorry about the seven month old that you're fighting for
because now it's all about her child, you know?
I'm like, how can nobody, blah, blah, blah.
So she's like, yeah, but you shove them down our throats.
But Tom Sandoval was been shoved down my throat
for so many years.
This was Tom Sandoval's show before you even got here.
And when everybody else turned against you,
Ariana and Tom were the ones who kept you in the group
and kept you filming.
And now you're saying he was shoved down your throat.
I mean, listen, the man has done things wrong,
but he kept you on this show along with Ariana.
You would have been off this show
because nobody else would fucking shoot with you.
You're so ungrateful.
This is shameful. I just, you know, I enjoy enjoy filming this show. This show has offered me a platform to go out and grab
opportunity by the fucking balls and have a baby I can support. By the way, I don't know if you know
about this, I have a baby. And you know what? I have a baby. I purchased two fucking homesks.
I know we all want to think it's a couple of months of a scandal I had that was good and that like that's called like years of fucking passing my ass.
So no, it was because you capitalized on the scandal.
Where did the money come from that you're buying these homes with from your fucking
send it to Darrell shirts?
Where did that come from?
From this?
Like, hello?
Nope, I have a pop cast too.
So Lala says, you know, she's like, you know, I'm happy that Ariana's been catapulted
into opportunity, which is a lie.
She's literally is.
You seem super psyched.
However, I will be damned if one person doesn't stand up to the plates. So that at least if you don't give a fuck about your position on the show because you're thriving, I'm going to need you to give the fuck about mine.
What are you even talking about, by the way? I can't even follow her. Because she is saying by Ariana not shooting with Tom, that jeopardizes the show, which
jeopardizes Lala's life and Lala is supporting children. So by Ariana not shooting with Tom,
she's fucking with Lala's child. What's fucking with the show goes back to your point.
If you're so concerned about the show faltering because Ariana's not shooting with Tom,
how about you don't shoot scenes of a water concierge coming over? concerned about the show like faltering because Ariana's not shooting with Tom. How about
you don't shoot scenes of like a water concierge coming over?
Also, I'd like to just point out that the last good season of this show was your last
season with Rand. And the season that this show sucked and tanked and everyone thought
it should be canceled was when you refused to film with Rand. That's when the show tanked.
It's when your life went to shit and you refused to share anything on camera.
Not Ariana.
The show's been doing a million people a week
with this shit.
Not yours though.
Not the stuff that you wouldn't.
And no one was like,
oh my God, you're murdering my babies
by not doing the scenes.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure that I totally agree with that.
But what I do agree with is the fact that like Lala
has tried to do
the whole move of like, if you talk to this person, we're not friends.
And if you hang out with Rand, we're not friends.
She says, well, it's different because I have babies involved.
It's like, it's really not.
Like Lala has done the whole thing.
It's all different because you've got a baby.
Lala's done this whole thing before.
So Lala's like, you know what?
That night, I was Libids that night.
Libids.
I was, let me just slip lipids. I was like watching Liv Tyler and I was
like, I was lived it.
Yeah. And so James like damn girl, that was good. James is just sitting there
like Lala's biggest cheerleader this whole time. It's so funny. It's like, that
was great. Was that Jesus as well? Shakespeare? What are you going for? And
she's like, and probably like, I didn't say it the most eloquently, but this was like days
and days of me like I was stopping on a regular basis that you wouldn't shoot with Tom Sandman
off. Okay. Because I love filming with you guys even when you fuck a whole lot of hot
dog fingers, hot dog fingers coming up. And so LVP is like, wait a minute. So you're
saying you felt down, let down because the true story you were getting
wasn't the true story they were filming.
And she was like, yeah, it was difficult
because I understood where she was coming from,
but I was like, why does she get to dictate
how this goes down when I've never gotten to dictate?
But you did, you kept Rand off the show
and you kept anybody from filming with him.
You did dictate it.
Lala is-
You also dictated your whole relationship with Rand
when you lied your ass off about dating him in the first place and getting him from that married lady.
You've always dictated your whole storyline on this show.
Also, Lala is literally willing to trash her friendship with Ariana, but our friendship with a friend.
She's willing to trash her friendship, you know, to complain about the fact that she didn't get to have a storyline the way she wanted to on reality TV.
That's what this is about. she wanted to call the shots but unfortunately lala for all her attempts
has just never been on the starting lineup. she is always like she does not she is not a starter on
the basketball team. she is the sixth man or lady as we would say. it's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial.
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So Ariana's like, well, Andy is asking Ariana,
like, what about your response?
And she's like, I don't think I'll be answering it.
I don't think I'm gone.
I sob at home, okay, but I do sob.
I don't need to do it in front of Sheena.
I do it on my own.
And if you want to talk on show terms,
me walking away from that conversation was a lot more interesting than me sitting there
and listening to it.
Okay, was it not a better ending to your season
to give you another season for another paycheck?
Which I was also-
That was so great.
Like I gave you a cliffhanger.
So-
She basically is like saying,
let me remind you, I'm calling the shots on this season,
bitch, you may try what you want,
but I gave it this moment.
And let's think of Lala storyline wrapping up this finale. Oh, didn't have one. Okay.
So she's like, had I not spoken my mind, it would it would have ended with you walking
out the doors.
It would have been fine. Would have worked.
It still ended up with her walking out the door. You didn't even get the ending of the season.
It's still that you tried, you tried it, but you still didn't get the ending of the season.
It still ended with her walking out the door and laughing about going to Applebee's while you were having a meltdown in a Dorinda Turban.
God, I wish they'd given her a Dorinda Turban.
She really needed a Dorinda Turban for that breakdown.
Well, Lala, you said Tom and Ariana were not honest about their relationship
until the affair broke.
What were they not honest about?
And Lala's like, well, I've heard a lot of things, okay?
And I heard it from a lot of you guys.
You guys were all talking about it.
And then we see actually footage from last year, season 10.
Katie is talking to Lala and I think Christina,
I don't remember, or maybe Sheena, who knows?
Christina, yeah.
And she's like, well, Tom and Ariana
present themselves one way on the show
and they don't fight on the show,
but they present themselves as having
the perfect relationship.
When I don't foresee it as that,
she doesn't foresee it as that.
That's okay, that's such a KD thing to say.
I don't foresee it as that.
That's a convenient narrative
and I'm not being treated humanely.
I am completely without fathoms right now. It's not that she doesn't see it like that. That's a convenient narrative and I'm not being treated humanely. I'm completely without fathoms right now. She doesn't
it's not that she doesn't see it like that. She doesn't foresee
it. I don't foresee it. She doesn't see it. Um, and Lala's
like, Why aren't we talking about that? And Katie's like,
because we're not allowed to and I'm not trying to talk shit.
I'm just saying point blank what I've seen going on in the future
when I foresee it. Yeah. And then in the force. So. I'm just saying point blank what I've seen going on. Pete Slauson In the future when I foresee it.
David Chilcote Yeah. And then, and the force. So then,
I'm sorry, I'm reading in the notes. So, Katie's like, Lala, stop doing that. And she's like,
do not raise your voice at me, Katie's. And she's like, we've been talking a lot and I'm
going to raise my voice. You can hear me loud and clear. Stop acting like I'm lying. Okay,
you won't let me get a word out." And she, because I like that
Katie's like, yeah, I was talking shit. But now I'm not. So whatever.
Jared Sautner I'm not as I foresee it.
David Kramer I'm almost like, um, yeah, but you need to
admit that you're talking shit. She goes, but I did. I already told her I was talking shit now I thought.
It's really-
And we worked through it. You're the one who's such a wuss that you can only say
anything behind someone's back until you're literally called out on it on a
reunion, la la.
It's also just not groundbreaking that Katie Maloney talks shit about someone,
you know? So Andy is like, well, Sheena, did you think that- did you think the
truth of Tom and Ariane's relationship was being portrayed on the show over the
years? Sheena's like, um, well, like being close with him, like, sure, I would see moments where
they weren't great, but then I'd see moments where they were like all over each other and
like making out, like every relationship has roller coasters and Sandoval's like, yeah,
more like rolling at a music festival though.
So he's basically saying like we, we were, we had no chemistry left. would only make out if we were on ecstasy at Coachella.
Right, because it's fucking with his narrative that their relationship was utter shit, which is why he was cheating, right?
So he's like, uh-uh, we were rolling.
Dude, the night that she found out there's footage of her being so excited at yet another sandal ball gig.
Do you know how painful that is for anyone to even see a clip of that with any kind of tone,
which we know that she has?
It hurts, it literally gives headaches.
And that woman went out to see you constantly
and there's footage of her like,
partying and like laughing it up and smiling it up
to support your terrible ass.
Don't pretend that you had someone
that didn't even care about you
or it's never there for you.
It doesn't work like that.
Santa's also said that over the years it was him who went to your things and supported
you off camera, and not Ariana.
Is that true?
She's like, no, I think they both showed up for me.
I love Ariana.
America, I love Ariana.
Please don't be mad at me, America.
Sheena, you had said that shit to me off camera.
Can we be done?
I'm so fucking done right now.
And so Lala gets up and is like, oh, come on.
Here goes Lala.
Lala, who got mad that Ariana walked out, is now getting up and walking out like she
does every fucking reunion.
Literally.
I mean, how can you walk out when you're mad at Ariana not having tough conversations?
Can we not?
I'm like, so annoyed. I'm like, so annoyed because like everyone wants to live their real life. on not having tough conversations. David K said, or great, do it, do something, do something. She's like, I just feel like she's like, you know, what's like, I just feel like I'm the only one I feel like I've been honest at all, you know,
again, now you want me to sit here and talk about you want to talk about being honest.
And she's like, I haven't finished talking. That's gonna make a really good point. So he just like
asked if there was like an event that like Oriana didn't show up for that that Tom did. And I was
like, yeah, and you said no, she was no, no. Well, guess what? It's cool. Lala's like, yeah, and you said no. She goes, no, no. Well, guess what? She goes, well, Lala's like, you know what?
So Lala sits down.
She goes, you know what?
Oh, I'm getting annoyed.
I'm getting annoyed.
Everyone else wants to live their real life.
Oh, well, guess what?
I want to live my real life now.
She goes, OK, well, guess what?
Can I think of a specific event that Tom showed up for
that Ariana didn't?
No.
But can I think of several events where I feel like Tom
had my back and more heart for me than Ariana? Yes. What the fuck are you talking about, Sheena, at this point? What
is the difference?
I don't know. So then they're like, well, Lala says, well, you know, everyone's living
for the comment section, but you know, you've also Katie expressed many times that there
wasn't that Ariana wasn't giving much on the show before this even happened. And Katie goes, well, there wasn't much
to give. It's funny because Katie totally did say all that shit. Like, Ariana doesn't give shit.
Ariana doesn't do anything. Why are we the ones doing everything and Ariana gets to be some little
hero and all she does is show up and smile at everybody. But we also have to remember that
Katie and Ariana weren't necessarily
close until fairly recently on the show. They only teamed up fairly recently. It wasn't
like they were always friends because Katie and Tom Sandoval hated each other, which put
Ariana in the middle and Ariana would never stand against Sandoval in favor of Katie because,
guess why? Katie was also kind of an asshole in those situations too.
So let's not forget that historically, the witches of WeHo had always kept Ariana
at arm's length.
That's true.
Right.
And they actually did not like Ariana.
It was only late in the run of Banner Pump Rules that they accepted Ariana.
And then when everyone was fired from the show, Katie really only had Ariana or Sheena,
and Katie never liked Sheena.
And then they were just like, their whole thing was like, oh, we're like the, essentially like the wives
of these, of the Toms, right?
Like, who have the bars.
So they were kind of like thrust together.
So, as Sandoval basically is like,
well, in other words,
like Katie didn't really pretend
to be something she wasn't with Ariana.
She, when she didn't like Ariana,
she didn't like Ariana.
Like we've seen that on the show, so.
Sandoval's like, you know what?
Like if you all had abide by Ariana's rules,
no one would have filmed me.
And she's like, I never said that anyone,
I never said any rules about filming with Tom.
That's like a weird thing to say.
So then out of nowhere,
Which kind of isn't because you were like,
well, I won't be friends with anyone
who is friends with him.
So it's not really that crazy of a thing.
Then Andy, out of nowhere, he turns to Lisa and he's like, Lisa, and she's like, oh,
sorry, I just was taking a nap there for 20 minutes. Am I still at the reunion? So yes.
So when you had it with the other woman on Beverly Hills, you made the choice to leave
the show because you knew that it would be expected of you to integrate with that group
And you said I can't do it anymore
If you thought you were off the hook for quitting Beverly Hills, guess what? We're coming for you now
So she's like well when I left those bitches is because a reunion is to reunite
I didn't want to reunite with them. All right, and
She's like I just wanted to say I'm fucking done. And
that's okay. So she's telling Lala like you have a point to you know, that everyone wasn't
being honest. And she's like, but no one can tell me that Ariana hasn't shown up. She has
shown up. If I'd been in that situation, I wouldn't have shown my shown up to film with
my husband and his mistress. So yes, she has shown up." And I was like, thank you. Good on you.
And Ariana literally, that's, she started crying when she like, Vanderpump stood up for her and
was like, she's been filming. What the fuck are you people talking about? She did show up. Ariana
was like touched and started crying. And I was like, that's actually really good because
I wasn't expecting that answer. I was kind of expecting Vanderpump to be like, this is television, if you don't like it,
then get out like I did, but she wasn't.
She was like, yeah, I could ignore those bitches,
and I did, but it's not like I had to film with my ex
who was cheating on me, I wouldn't have done that shit either.
This is also like a little bit of a way out for,
I think Andy, now in retrospect, now like listening,
like talking about the scene, it's a little bit of Andy
throwing a little like a little I don't know get out of jail free card to Vanderpump because I
think there were a lot of people yeah because I think there were a lot of people that were like
why does Ariana like the everyone's like oh Ariana has to like like we're shooting we're shooting
us something here and Ariana has to like you you know, show up and participate in this
But like why should ariana be expected to show up and like have these scenes when lisa vanderpump skipped out on her own show
When she when things got tough
And so I think this was actually a little bit of a way of for andy being like well you skipped out when things got tough
Because you had a reason behind it that in a way that's different, right?
And lisa's like yes
My reason is that I didn't want to go forward, but Ariana, she does want to go forward.
So in a weird way, at first I thought this was Andy
giving Lisa grief, but now that I think about it,
I think he actually kind of like gave her a softball.
Oh, I don't, I think he was saying like,
well, Lisa, you quit the show,
so don't you think Ariana should have quit the show
if she wasn't willing to put the work in?
And Lisa's like, but she did put the work in.
I didn't want to put the work in, so I left and she did
show up and she did have tough conversations, even if it wasn't with Tom, you know?
So, Andy's like, well, before we go to break, does anyone have anything else they want to
say? And Sheena's like, I'm just curious if after watching that, like, Ariana, do you
understand like, why Lala was so frustrated in that moment? And Ariana's like, uh, Ariana, do you understand, like, why Lala was so frustrated in that moment?
And Ariana's like,
I understand the frustration,
I don't understand the insults.
So, um, now...
She starts crying, so they go to break,
and Katie's, like, hugging her,
and then Katie's earring gets stuck in her hair,
and so it becomes, like, a wacky segment, and Katie's like, I totally in her hair. And so it becomes like a wacky segment.
And Katie's like, I totally did not foresee this happening.
Which actually she didn't say because that would make sense.
So Ariana is like her hair,
her hair is like stuck in Katie's earring
and then she's like, wow, this is funny.
I'm so glad this happened.
This really changed the vibe.
We needed this right now.
He's like, so just when Ariana was about to dissolve into a puddle of tears and hearing
cock-cock with that bunny, remember?
And Ariana's like, yeah, that was great.
So it's really good, Andy.
All right, Tom, how do you see your place in the group moving forward?
He's like, I don't know, man.
This has been like a lot this year like I'm overwhelmed today and I appreciate
everyone who's given me somewhat of a chance just want to say Ariana she sucks
she she wasn't intimate with me it was really all her fault
so um and yes Lala like are your friendships with Katie and Ariana in the ER?
She's like, yes, and I'm okay with that.
Just remember this, nannies and babysitters are different.
Words matter.
And Sheena's like, oh my god, it was like the most challenging summer that I've ever
had.
Sheena, you've been divorced on this show.
Sheena's like literally been through hell on this show.
Someone else's breakup is the most challenging of her life.
Okay, Sheena, what more do you have?
She's just saying how Ariana was like her person and like-
And you fucked her over, so have fun with that.
Have fun with your consequences.
Katie, you seem lighter.
Did you take a dump?
It's nice to see you in shorts sending each other memes.
Although, is it really a meme when you send him
a wall of text saying, fuck you, I hate you,
say it out of my life, that's a meme, right?
Do we have, I think I may not understand what memes are.
So I can't wait to meet your new girlfriend.
Yeah, cause it's like this thing where she's like,
yeah, I can't wait to meet your girlfriend.
Maybe I'll seduce her away from you.
So then, you know, it's the goodbye section.
DJ James Kennedy has a residency in Las Vegas.
It's at the Live.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
That's funny, because I was Lib-ed.
Um, so, Shor's like, I just want to remind everyone,
on stage, I love you guys.
You guys are my friends and my family.
And there's like a lot of talk about the show and the job and I, you know,
it's all valid. Everyone's valid. Everyone said the exact right thing.
And I support everyone. But like, you guys are like my family. I'm like,
Ariana, I know we're not in the best place, but like,
I didn't mean anything. I said, I'm a little boy.
Well, instead of having a shot,
we're going to have sandwiches from Chef Penny's
Something About Her TM.
And since Peter wanted a raise after 10 years
of being on this show and we said,
not in not a chance, we've replaced him with Kyle Chan,
which is pretty amazing that Kyle Chan actually wound up
on our reunion stage somehow.
Wow, this guy really knows how to do it.
And also, Anne.
This is Kyle Chan sponsoring the season.
Kyle Chan has gotten more Kyle Chan love than I've ever seen.
I've never seen someone play the long game on Bravo.
Like maybe like Marlo, I think he's played it longer
than Marlo Hampton.
Like he really, cause like Marlo,
cause at this point he's still only at the part
where he's like stepping out the reunion stage.
Marlo Hampton at this point had like legitimate scenes. Yeah. So, um, so then, um, basically backstage,
they're talking because the show's over now, right? And so Sheena's like, Oh my God, she's like,
it's still mad at me. Yeah. Sheena. Cause you're fucking spineless. Okay. And she actually was
pretty nice to you. I don't think anybody was mean to you. You're just kind of was nice. Yeah.
Sheena's just tap dancing her way into oblivion, you know.
So Lala's meanwhile still popping off backstage.
She's like, I think in that moments of watching Lisa defend
so hard when it's like the season 90 reunions all over again,
I did not want to be grilled about my ex who did this to me.
Like, you know what?
Like instead I was greeted with like, you lose him
and you get him.
Just like now Ariana gets to walk away when she's uncomfortable.
Like, I'm creating lights, okay?
And I don't get to walk up the stage when I'm feeling like I'm uncomfortable.
So now she's mad.
I'm creating life.
I can't.
So now her new thing is that Ariana got to walk away.
And when she walked, tried to walk away, everyone said, come back.
So now she's mad about that.
But here's the big difference.
Ariana did shoot the scene.
She did shoot the scene with Tom where she had the breakup
and she was confronted with everything she did.
It was like a full day of her sobbing in a scene.
You never did shoot the scene.
You literally shut all the cameras down
and refused to let anybody get near you
just like you did through your whole fucking relationship.
You're such a hypocrite.
And you never had to do anything
that you're stating you had to do.
Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie, you're,
but actually one thing that we are overlooking,
she's creating life.
I'm like creating, I'm making up babies right now.
I've got a baby and I've got another baby.
I just wanna make a baby right now.
It's like you guys, I just wanna make a baby.
This show is so authentic,
which is why I got impregnated
right in time to have a season finale
of me having a baby, which has now been stymied.
So, everyone's basically like leaving.
Lala's really pissed off because ultimately
she is trying to control the narrative
and they won't let her.
And so she's mad that other people
get to control the narrative.
And she's like, but I'm having like literally babies
and they still won't let me control the narratives.
What do we have to do to earn the narratives around here?
I wanna be the one who controls the narrative.
And I love that she's hiding her face.
Like, if I did this, then we'll put this on camera.
Like having her meltdown.
And Katie's like, Jeremiah,
the last thing that somebody should foresee about me
is that I'm not honest about foreseeing myself, self and Ariana's like, yeah, you're like literally the most authentic person I've literally ever seen and Katie's like, yeah, I'm already on it's like, yeah.
So then Lala is like still getting all she's all feisty. She's like, you know, going off like I don't care what I heard. Anyone's feeling.
She's all feisty. She's like, you know, going off like I don't care what I heard anyone's feeling And so then that's so then she goes Ariana. I barely even see her and Katie. I don't give a fuck
She doesn't act like she goes up on well, well if she doesn't it's like stop pretending then
So then literally not pretending that she gives a fuck everyone got their stuff and left you sobbing in the
No one gave you a hug. She's so full of it.
So then outside, Sandoval goes up to Lala and is like,
by the way, I wrote hard for you and like,
you're fucking awesome, man.
Like respect, like fucking respect, okay?
Like fucking respect, man.
Yeah, cause she did exactly what you wanted.
She went after your enemy the whole time.
This guy's so fucking transparent after being like, oh, dude, oh, they wanted to apologize.
He's like, yeah, good job nailing Ariana, oh, oh.
So then everyone gets in the cars and drives off and Lala's crying.
She's like, I just want to go bake a baby.
I just want to go live my good life.
Bake a baby. I love a good life. Stop baking a baby. It's good life. Bake a baby, have a good life.
Stop baking a baby.
It's like, it's like healthier than a fried baby.
So that is, I think you're right about everything.
Like we are like at the end of an era,
I think Lala's going off to bake her baby
on the Valley season two perhaps.
And who knows what's gonna happen with this group, but wow i don't know people are saying oh my god we should follow something
about her i'm not opposed to that i just don't see any messiness with like girl sandwich
shop people you know like i can't see the restaurant it has five tables i thought it's
too small to have drama i just can't imagine ann being, you guys really need to wear shorter skirts.
Yeah, I don't know. Like this show, I don't know what they're going to do. I don't know
what they're going to do. Like below deck has been really smart in that they just, they've
set a precedent that's be different people every year. And so now, but this show hasn't.
So when you get new people, everyone's like, fuck them, you know?
Well, I think this show doesn't have to do anything. It hasn't been about a
restaurant in literal years. They don't it's just still about these losers
trying to navigate their loser lives. So just keep it about that. I don't think
they have to make any changes. Just give it a little bit of time. Katie will
still be, you know, trying to finish a knitting project that she started seven
years ago. Ariana will be shooting some other reality show.
Tom will be trying too hard and failing miserably.
Schwartz will be in some terrible relationship.
I mean, just keep following him.
Yeah. I mean, look, this show...
I have to change.
I have to say, I loved this season.
I'm ready for more.
So anyway...
No, it was meh.
I was meh on it.
I was meh on it.
A lot of people were meh.
But last season was good.
The season before was fucking horrid.
That was pretty bad.
But I mean, listen, it's still a show I love
and I'm just keep doing the show, you know,
and plus the Toms dating literal children is gonna be amazing.
I mean, they're gonna be bringing 23-year-olds around this cast.
Katie is just gonna lose her fucking mind,
which is gonna be really fun.
Ariana is just gonna probably torture them,
but then ultimately befriend them
and support them in the group.
You know, it'll be fun to watch.
It's funny, because for so many years,
people have been saying they need to bring fresh blood.
And they're like, but how do we bring youth into the show
when we're not at the restaurant anymore
to replace them with waiters?
Well, you just have the guys turn into typical LA guys
and start dating people 20 years or junior if that's how well
They're gonna be out there on
That's like I have to do
Listen this shows gonna be up the shootings on pause, which is weird because this is a summer show
So, I don't know is it gonna be paused till next summer. I don't know. We'll find out
Oh, it'll just be told till she'll just be shooting this by island. Yeah. It'll be till fall I think. Yeah.
It'll be till fall.
But I don't know.
I'm just leaning so acts like I'm acting like I'm
I think you're correct.
Cause I'm leaning I'm like yeah,
that's what's gonna happen.
No, I think you're correct.
I think it's correct.
I think after Love Island and after Chicago,
obligations are done.
They will start filming again.
It'll be fine.
It'll be good.
This show is resilient. I think the one that the. It'll be good. This show is resilient.
I think the one that the takeaway that we have
is that this show is resilient
and it's just, we're just gonna go forward.
At this point, we're not, you're right.
It's not a show about people working in a restaurant.
We're just watching a group of people
and we're just gonna watch them until they're just like old
and you know, we're just,
we're watching the rest of their lives at this point.
You know, one thing that's super fun in LA is to watch people age it is I mean
soon we're gonna be watching we're doing end of all doing says at the rainbow
room on Sunset don't know what the rainbow room is that is where like it
works that's like it's it's like up there it's like on the west side of the
Sunset Strip it's like like we're all like the hairband
bands from the 80s ago to still do sets, you know? And like to...
I think of the Rainbow Room in New York.
It's a very different...
Very classier.
The Rainbow Room in New York, that's where I saw Andrew Mitchell recite Twas the Night Before
Christmas. And I was like, what a celebrity.
Yeah, there you go.
Little gay man.
The point is this, the Rainbow Room in LA is very different. You know, we started this recap with before Christmas. And I was like, what a celebrity. Yeah, there you go. Little gay man. Point made.
The point is this, the Rainbow Room in LA is very different. You know, we started this recap
with me singing White Lion and we end the recap talking about the place where White
Lion bands still exist. So that's what the Rainbow Room is.
Full circle, guys. Well, it's been another super great year of Underpump Rules. We sure
love you guys.
We love you. thanks for being here
Thanks for being here. Try not to you know
Go fuck your partner's best friend of we're gonna go take some babies cuz we're creating life guys
We're gonna go create some laughs
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