Watch What Crappens - #2456 The Valley S01E12, Part Two: Low Bar
Episode Date: June 11, 2024This is part 2 of a two-parter!Brittany finally realizes that she’s been getting Jaxxed for the past decade on The Valley (S01E12) finale and leaves that good for nothing pile of nose debri...s. Atta girl! Janet has a baby, and it turns out that she still sucks even when she’s not preggers so hey! Consistency! Great season. Enjoy! Watch this recap on video and listen to all of our bonus episodes at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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She was letting some other people hear my conversation.
Do you not see how fucked up that is?
That is absolutely so fucked up.
Trying to think of like a Betty
that I could turn into a Petty and make a very funny pond.
Hold on, it's coming to me.
That is like Petty and Wilma. Okay. Thank you.
Damn, sad I didn't think of that one. So he's like, yeah, I mean, I didn't know I was on speaker
phone with Johnna and she didn't tell me that there was anybody else down. That is a textbook mean
girl move. And on top of that, she decided to have Jax do her bidding. She could have
texted, she could have called, she could have sent a carrier pigeon. You could have come
here by airplane. You could have come here by mail plane. I don't care how you get here.
Just got here if you come. Oh, petty Adams. So then Janet, it's barely a pun, but I'm just want to go there.
So Janice like.
So Janice talking and she's like, Jasmine just said he was trolling me and Jasmine
over here, she goes, Janet, I am not like, don't make me the bad guy here.
And thank you, Jasmine.
Just like, all right. Well, you know what? Like have his back. Good luck with that.
Go, go, go have fun. Go have fun. Jazz basically like, oh, like,
like because you just sort of defended Zach,
you're like not a friend to me anymore. Great. Great.
Yeah. And Jasmine's like, I'm not taking anybody's side. And so Brittany comes over
and she's like, are y'all okay? And he's like,
yeah, sure. Sit down, baby. And he's like, yeah, she has all her minions around her and she's got crock of shit boots right next to her. I practiced that one. I practiced that. Okay. But so what?
And she's like, got all these kiss ass gays around her saying, you're the boss, Janna, you're the boss.
You're the boss, Janet, you're the boss. Because right now, like Zach and Brittany
are in like one booth and the adjacent booth
is Janet with her gaze.
So they're having kind of like a cold war
amongst the booths, you know?
And I love that he said that because that is exactly
what those two gays, those two Muppet gays are doing.
They're sitting right next to Janet going,
mm-hmm, mm-hmm, Oh my God, what did he say?
What?
What?
Tell me more, tell me more.
Did he, did he post a troubling thing on IG stories?
Tell me more, tell me more.
Did he make it seem like he was in Big Bear
by geotagging Big Bear,
but then he just wrote something menacing
and it was a black screen?
Tell me more.
I mean, they're just over there laughing at everything
she says like she's petty fucking Murphy that's me bitch
so Zach is like I don't care I don't I just don't care but you should care
because if someone is causing stress she can literally lose her baby so don't say
something like that okay great great great i'm sorry i'm
sorry she's not the fucking queen actually wait just thought of good gay funny moment right now
actually you know what she is the queen of england because she's dead to me like queen elizabeth
queen elizabeth died okay so there was a queen in england and everyone loved her but she died
and she's dead right now so she is like like that queen, cause she's dead to me.
Cause everyone see what I'm trying to say here.
Everyone get the pun.
If you get the pun, you can sit in my booth.
Anyone, queen of England, dead.
Do you think that this is where all this accusation,
well, no, it had to have happened earlier, right?
I don't think it's from this.
You don't think it's from this Janet saying that
she thinks that Zach wants her and her baby to die
or whatever she said, because this happened after, right? But I can't remember that she thinks that Zach wants her and her baby to die or whatever she said.
Because this happened after right?
But I can't remember if she said that in a confessional or what like where that originated.
Honestly, I think this whole thing about like Janet saying that Zach wants her baby to be
killed is so dark and so fucked up.
It's like it's actually like gossip that I don't think is like fun.
And I just think that I'm not willing I'm not willing to do the research and give it
any light of day with Janet like if that's really like I just think it I'm not willing to do the research and give it any light of day with Janet.
Like if that's really, like I just think it's ridiculous.
Yeah, you know what?
I love that stance and I'm gonna jump
on that train with you, fuck that.
So Brittany comes over, she's like, what's going on?
And he's like, I mean, don't you even get angry Brittany
cause you weren't here.
I'm not angry, I just wanna have everybody
like I have a good time, right?
I mean, I just don't want to deal with this shit right now.
I mean, can't anybody just tell me I'm pretty?
Anybody.
Hold on, I don't have the mental capacity
for this right now.
Well, I don't know if I have mental capacity
for too many things too many times,
but I'm already going through all sorts of these things
with my issues, my marriage,
and like just got this bar open and all my friends are fine
and I can't get my Tivo to work.
And I thought tonight would be like a little bit
of respect to be had for the fact
that there was a bar opening.
I mean, where was the last time someone,
why can't a girl just open up a bar on Studio City anymore
and have some respect for it?
Girl, let's not pretend like this is your first time being
at a bar when it opens.
Second of all, you were the one who started all this,
Brittany, ma'am. You started all these fights at the beginning
of the season, and you don't get to act like none of it like
every you're just the victim and you can't believe people are
ruining your night. People are giving you a season finale and
you planted the seeds by starting all of this gossip and
throwing Zach under the bus at the very beginning of the
season.
Didn't she?
Is this in my head that she started this?
She did.
It's all fucked up.
I think she said something to Jax, which she's entitled to because they are a couple.
And then Jax told Kristen and then Jax acted like Kristen told him.
And then of course, then Kristen held onto it.
But then Janet said something to Zach and then Zach told him. And then of course, then Kristen held onto it. But then Janet said something to Zach and then Zach told Kristen and then
Kristen was sitting on that.
And then Brittany came for Kristen and accused Kristen of trying to fuck up the
vibe of everything. And so Kristen was like, what, because of,
because of this? So she also think about the Republican thing,
which Janet started, and then they all got mad at Kristen, make it sound like Kristen meant that Kim brought
that out of thin air.
And then they're all angry at Kristen.
So then Kristen finally gets fed up and unleashes the first thing that she learned from Jax,
which he learned from Kristen, from Brittany.
So in both cases, Brittany, the roads go back to Brittany.
Yeah, all roads lead back to Brittany.
That made sense, right?
Yeah.
That was like very articulate and well stated. My brain is leaking out of my ear, but yes, it Rose lead back. Did anyone follow that? That made sense, right? Yeah. That was like very articulate and well stated.
My brain is leaking out of my ear,
but yes, it did make sense.
Hi, that's a new cocktail at Jack's.
Brain leaker.
Brain leaker.
Brain leaker.
Jasmine goes up to Jana and she's like,
okay, okay, it's like, we're good.
I mean, I get it.
Like you don't like Zach.
Like, okay, okay, okay, that's fine then.
She goes, no, because if Zach tells me
to get the fuck out of here,
I'm completely validated to not have him at my baby mode.
She goes, okay, okay, I hear you, I hear you.
I get it.
He said that after the invitation situation,
not before the invitation situation.
Shannon's just a fucking liar and a Karen.
I can't, and I'm trying to use the word Karen less,
but then they bring on the ultimate Karen.
She's not even, she's worse than Trishel.
I think she's worse.
She's like a concentrate of Trishel.
Trishel, no vowels.
She's a Trishel.
So no, cause I'm trying to use the word Trishel
instead of Karen out of respect for our
I know but I couldn't do that because I feel like she's even worse than Trishelle. I feel like
Trishelle
Doesn't deserve that feel like Trishelle is pretty terrible
But this I don't know. She's just the worst. This one was the worst. So
So Jasmine's like, okay, I get I'm telling you I get it
She says and so you approve of that behavior?
And she's like, no, I don't approve of it.
She goes, you're not talking to me like a friend right now
because I'm on the brink of crying.
I need to go to bed.
Oh my God, then go, then just fucking go.
Why don't you go anywhere?
Why don't you go anywhere if this is this difficult for you?
Just fucking go.
So Jasmine's basically like, well, you know what?
This makes me want to cry too.
And Zach is my friend and it's fucked up for you guys to put me in a place where to choose
him or choose you.
That's like fucked up.
And she says like, you know, like Janice, like, well, you're not gonna have my back.
Like I'm like, I always have your back.
Like you guys are like my good friends and it really hurts me because I know how good
you guys can be.
And like I've seen it.
If you just say I don't have your back because I'm also Zach's friend. That's just like not fair. She's totally right
It's not fair for her to do that. She goes I have your guys's back
I have his back and it's fucked up and that's all I'm saying. It's just like fucked up
So then Jason's Jason calls over Jan. He's like Jana come over here
So he gets her out of there saves her and Brittany is like, I know you guys can fix this.
You guys can totally fix this.
Cause right, if there's anything that we've learned
from this show is that all these relationships
are totally fixable.
So Jasmine's, Jasmine's like, I mean,
I wouldn't cry over anybody else, you guys.
Like you're being mean to me
and I really like you, we're friends Janet.
And Janet's like, I mean, trust me, I wanna cry too,
but I wanna do it at home.
You don't wanna cry.
You started all this, you're an asshole.
So Jasmine's like, well, you know,
like I've been friends with you, blah, blah, blah.
And Janet's like, I gave him a chance and it didn't work out.
And so now he doesn't get to buy my baby gifts.
Like, here we come with the Janet threats.
We don't get to go to your baby party and buy you a guest.
Now we don't get to come to your baby's sip and see
and buy you a guest.
Then we don't get to come to your baby's first fucking
birthday and buy your baby some more fucking gifts.
Fuck off with doing your baby threats, okay?
You baby terrorist.
So Jax is like, oh my God, everyone's got drama.
So he offers water to Brittany. He's like, here's some water.
I need you to be sober right now.
You did offer her shots before I just suited up. And by the way,
water doesn't make you sober. I hate to break this news to people.
Water does not make you sober. It just makes the hangover easier,
but water does not miraculously make you sober.
So Jack's like, Oh, I have to do a speech and share it.
So everybody, I just want to say thank you so much.
Wait, am I giving a speech now?
I think it's not till later.
So I'm just gonna talk about giving it.
It's a practice run.
Yeah, I'm just gonna, I'll do that later.
So Jason's like, we need to stay and support our friends
because they're on their side of the bar over here
and we're hanging out over here.
And Janet's like, the thing with Jasmine,
it's like not good, okay?
It's not good.
And Jasmine's bent into Kristen.
She's like, I mean, I see you guys are like not in a good place
and you're like getting mad at me for like trying.
So you know like what?
You can take your happy vanilla corny shit somewhere else.
And Kristen goes, yeah, because I, so I like Miss Big Bear, so I'm just like catching up on what's going on. trying so you know like what you can take your happy vanilla corny shit somewhere else and Chris goes yeah
Because I saw I like miss big bear so I'm just like catching up all what's going on. Seriously. Seriously
So Jen and then Janet spent it when she said when she said you can take your happy vanilla corndog shit somewhere else
I started laughing
Oh, yeah
Because they literally showed the flashback to them dressing as the couple as their favorite things and it was vanilla and a corndog
I mean, I know this sounds so good that I even favorite things and it was vanilla and a corn dog. I mean, I know the show's
so good that I even forgot that and it just happened. I mean, there's so much packed into
this show. But of course, that's their couple thing, vanilla and a corn dog. So then Janet does
pulls this move because she's venting and she goes, you know what, now I guess I know who my
friends are and who are not. And when I bring a child into this world, I know who's going to be around that child and who's not like, Oh, God forbid,
like God forbid I don't get the invitation to be around your child.
Like I love when people do that as if it's like people really care about being
around her. Yeah.
It's like you're threatening me with her child with keeping your child away.
Give me a fucking break with that. Oh, I don't get to babysit for free for you.
Oh, I don't get to babysit for free for you. Oh, I don't like you. Why would I want to be around like a tiny version of you that
poops? Yeah. So, so, so Jasmine's like, okay, bring
Jack's over here. And so he's like, Okay, what's going on? What's going on? And Jasmine's
like, I don't want to do this at your party. But it's fucking bullshit. When you had us
sat down, and you said that you
guys aren't invited to Big Bear. That was like, not cool. And Jack's like, oh, I was the messenger.
I was the messenger. And she's like, exactly. And that's why I told Janet. But like, she said,
I don't know why he said that, the messenger. And I'm like, like, well, he was, it's Jack's.
Well, I'm going to do it. I'm going to go talk about the head of the problem right now. I'm
going to go talk to her right now. So he marches over there. And Nia's just like, can we get a girl's photo before I have to live in Tarzana?
All the girls hate each other. All the girls hate each other. Can we have a girl's photo
please? I'm about to go to Santa Clarita, so probably won't see me for a few years.
So now Zach is like, hey, Luke, daddy, follow me.
And Luke's like, no, I wanna keep my eye line on Kristin.
So then we see Kristin go up to, she's like,
so look, this is what happened to Michelle.
Michelle's like, there was no reason for you
to do everything that you did, Kristin.
She goes, Janet started it.
Do you not realize that?
Janet's the one who fucking started it.
It was Janet all along.
It was Janet.
So then Jax is like, okay, first of all,
I'm not gonna get into this,
but like I was the messenger Janet,
because he's staying in a different sexual.
I was the messenger and Jax goes,
hold on, be careful with your tone,
because I am pregnant.
Hold on.
I'm pregnant.
Hold on, the baby hears your tone.
The baby hears your tone, Jax. Wait, I'm lady. I'm pregnant. Hold on, the baby hears your tone. The baby hears your tone, Jax.
Wait, I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant.
Let's go.
So he's like, I mean, I was just the messenger.
She goes, so I told you to go uninvite everyone?
He goes, everyone?
No.
She goes, okay, I'm done.
Good luck with your bar.
I'm pregnant.
I'm pregnant and I'm done here.
When she said, careful with your tone, I am pregnant, I'm pregnant, and I'm done here. When she said, careful with your tone, I am pregnant,
I was like, I can't.
I think that was the moment I turned on Joe.
That was when I went from being like,
well, she's a monster, but she's hilarious
to being like, wait a second.
No, she just sucks.
She's a really bad try to rip off Stassi.
She's like cosplaying Stassi and honey is just not,
you don't have it in you, I'm so sorry.
So Zach is like, we're just like so fractured right now.
I just don't know where we all go forward in this.
I mean, they're trying to make me out to be a monster.
Like I'm some kind of Eddie monster.
I just can't.
Petty monster.
Oh damn, I fucked up a petty monster.
Petty monster.
Oh boo, boo, I quit.
Sorry everybody, pinging up my hat. You know what? fucked up a petty monster. Oh, petty monster. Oh, boo, I quit. Sorry, everybody.
Pinging up my hat.
You know what?
Janet likes to spread these seeds
of gossip and drama everywhere.
And the thing that Janet doesn't understand
is that her normal tricks she can get away with
because nobody sees them.
It's all behind the scenes.
But now every person seeing it,
and I don't think people can ignore it anymore.
And then we see like,
I think this is where we see like an extended montage of Janet blatantly sowing
seeds of discord throughout the entire group.
Yeah. So then, uh, Kristen's still like, it's Janet.
Janet's been lying the whole fucking time. Oh, Mary Paul's the, oh,
I feel like holding Kristen back. She's like, it was her, it was her.
Brittany's like, I feel like I need to let y'all
talk about this.
And she's like, no, she doesn't wanna talk about it.
And I respect that, I respect it very much.
So then, Jack, now it's Jack's, it's time for him
to give a speech.
He's like, all right, all right, everyone, Okay, everyone, hey, welcome to Jax's.
I can't tell you how great it is
to have an establishment with these guys.
Like we're here, here we are in the heart of Beverly Hills.
Jax, it's the valley.
Like I said, it's amazing we got to open up this casino
here on the strip.
I mean, right across from Harrah's, Bellagia.
Jax, we're barring the valley. I mean, to be up here at the top. I mean, right across from Harrah's Bellagio. JX, we're barring the valley.
I mean, to be up here at the top of 30 Rock,
rebranding the Rainbow Room after Jax,
I mean, what an honor.
Welcome to Jax George.
I like when he said, welcome to Jax's.
And he is like, and Britney's, and Britney's.
And Zach's like, yeah, and Britney's.
Yeah, Jax, Britney's the one who fucking did everything.
What have you done except come here
and get drunk every night with a bunch of fans,
you weirdo?
Britney's on credit.
I hope Britney opens a revenge business.
It could just be called,
someone call me pretty, question mark,
and you can go get your makeup done or something.
And someone will call you pretty.
You're a cool guy. So Britney's like pretty you're a cool guy so you know what tonight was a lot of
dry rara rara Rama but I am definitely not happy about that but I am proud of
myself I'm proud of JX because the way he wiped the dust off of that neon sign
outside that was amazing and now we have this beautiful sports bar for the valley which the valley does not have a single
one so I'm so glad we were able to start sports bars in the valley and at the
end of the day I'm gonna say this night was a success yes and then it Jacks and
Brittany kiss and then Jacks it just kind of like smells her breath and
shakes his head like this poor alcoholic, but I love her.
It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappence commercial.
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Six months later.
Tum-tum-tum-tum-tum-tum-tum-tum-tum.
We now go to Jesse and Michelle's house.
It's March, March, 2024.
And Michelle shows up and it's like tents between them.
And then Michelle has Isabella, brings Isabella into the house and they're making like small talk or whatever.
And Michelle's like, all right, well, let's bring the bike to my house.
Hey, Isabella, what else should we bring to my house?
We got to bring some toys. Should we bring some toys?
How about some joy? Oh, wait, that's right.
There is no joy in this house. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. We gotta bring some toys. Should we bring some toys? How about some joy? Oh wait, that's right.
There is no joy in this house.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Can I have a fork so I can try to eat daddy meatloaf?
It's meat head, honey.
Meat head.
Sorry, mommy.
Go into the other room while I talk to your daddy.
So she does.
And she, Jesse's like,
what did she say when he picked her up?
She goes, she didn't say anything.
She said she had a nice weekend with you.
Ooh.
And he's like, yeah, she did.
She had a lot of fun.
So are you good with the schedule for next week or what?
She goes, as long as it makes sense and it's 50-50.
And he goes, it is 50-50.
Two days on, two days off.
It's perfect.
And she goes, well then I have no issues.
He goes, okay.
Well, I've asked you multiple times.
Have you gotten all the supplies and everything from Malibu
because you're taking Malibu with you
when Isabella's with you, are you not?
You know, the fact that they named their dog Malibu,
this shows me everything I need to know about Jesse.
You were never planning on being truly close with your wife
because you named your dog the most loving thing
in your house, you named it a distance.
Cause that sits far.
Malibu is so far, every time he says it,
I'm like, oh, all I can think about is the drive.
So she's like, I finally hit a point
where I knew I was done and I wanted to get out
and I wanted to start my new life.
Mm-hmm.
There was no question on whether or not
I made the right choice.
I mean.
Mm-hmm.
So she's like, well, cause he's,
and he's so condescending, he's like, you bought food for the dog, right?
She's like, yeah, I bought food for the dog.
Like we've discussed, we need to come up with a list.
And he's like, he's like, well,
I don't know why you need a list.
It's very simple.
Maybe even someone like a woman could understand it
if we just go through it.
She's like, yeah, but it's not simple until it's complicated.
So I'd rather have it written down as a list.
So yeah, I just love that Michelle came in here
and she was not gonna let this fucker manipulate anything.
I mean, I think that he is ready to manipulate the audience
with his tears and be like,
look what this horrid woman did to me.
And now he's going to cry.
And now he's gonna try and start a fight with her to get some emotion out of her.
Cause you know how we do when we're hurt. We're like, Oh, do you feel anything? Can I at least
make you mad? And she's like, no, you cannot. I don't feel anything more. You.
And, and here he, so now she's like, I basically want in writing all the, like our plan going
forward, I guess with like the kid, the business or whatever.
And he's like, it's simple.
He's like saying, it's like, it's very simple.
Let's not make it complicated.
It's very condescending, but it's also his way of trying to get out of writing, putting
anything in writing, you know?
And she's like, yeah, it's simple until it's not simple, you know, because these things
become complicated.
Anytime people talk about divorce, any breakup, but really divorce,
how they're like, it'll just be simple and quick. It never is.
It just never is. So she's absolutely right. Whatever it is they're talking about,
they're going to get it in writing. They should.
When people are like, Oh, he would never do this. I know him. He would never,
he would never treat me like that. No,
you know the person that you me like that. No, you know, the
person that you dated and that you married, you don't know that the person that you divorced yet.
Okay. That is a different person. Okay. Get it in writing, get it in writing people. So,
she's like, it needs to be in writing. And he's, he's like, the only thing we don't fight about
is Isabella. So right now we're in the shit form
of a kaleidoscope of a divorce.
And she's like, here it is.
It is simple, Jesse.
We don't work together anymore.
The end.
That's it.
That's all you have to say in the papers.
It's done now.
He's like, I mean, that's kind of a interesting metaphor.
We don't work together anymore.
I don't know if you ever really worked together
in the first place if you see what I'm saying.
So Jessie is like, perfect.
So the mediator was very clear in her emails
that with the filing paperwork,
it is to be printed, signed, and scanned back to her.
And I'm not signing anything
until I can retain an attorney to go to court to file.
So I don't know the whole backstory of your arrangement, but it already sounds to me like
whatever they decided they were going to agree to, he's already backing out of it.
Yeah.
And she's saying, what are you talking about?
We're getting divorced.
And he's like, no, I need my own lawyer.
Okay, then why'd you agree to a mediator?
Yeah.
Like, are you an idiot?
Can you not?
He's just grasping.
I think he's just trying to pretend that he's grasping at straws, but if he really was making an effort
and he really did want this,
A, he would have done more than an ayahuasca weekend,
and B, he would have made some effort
to get his own lawyer and fight this
instead of just being like, okay, get a mediator,
and then I'll just complain about my own lawyer
when there are TV cameras around.
He's fucking not falling for any of this bullshit, okay?
It's been a week of Bravo Men on TV.
It's been a year of Bravo Men on TV.
This is just one more cobblestone on the street
to terrible manhood, sir.
Yeah.
So she says, she tells us,
Jesse has a very strong personality,
and I don't think he is used to me being very
stern in what I believe in and I'm not going to take any of that type of
bullshit.
There is nothing to discuss.
I've moved out.
So he's correct.
She's an Ivy and have to write here and I paid for my new place. And he's saying, well, but goes, and I paid half the rent here and I paid for my new place.
And he's saying, well, but I'm just asking
about the corporation that our business is running.
And she goes, the money is split.
And he's like, no, we need to talk to a corporate attorney
and an accountant and I explained to you, blah, blah, blah.
And she's like, the kid interrupts, you know, for a second.
And they shoo her away.
And Michelle's like, I've made everything very simple.
I moved out, I got a place, I got furniture.
I moved on, we're not doing business together.
We don't need to make anything complicated
because I just, and he's like,
but I'm just thinking about Isabella.
Really, you weren't thinking about her
when you slept through her shit in her pants
when she was growing up or needing food
when she was sobbing in the middle of the night
and screaming. You weren't thinking about her then.
Isabella didn't choose this. So we have to remember that all we have left is to make
sure she can live the best life she can. Okay, Jesse. So Michelle's like to be the one who
makes the decision to get divorced is incredibly hard because
one day I will have to tell my daughter that I left her dad and his hair dent. At the end
of the day, I'm doing what's best for her, but I'm always thought my daughter would be
raised by two parents who are together. And ultimately that dream was not reality.
Reality.
Yeah, so, okay. So they're out.
So then, now we go over to Janet and Jason's
and it's girl time.
It's the end of the season thing
where they pick up the cameras
and all the girls get together to talk about
how the men have done them wrong.
It's now been Vanderpump Rules, Summer House, and this one.
Was there anything else this
year that this happened on? There was, right? What was the other one they brought up the
cameras for this year?
They brought the cameras on Atlanta for Ralph and Drew Sidora. That was bad. Well, Potomac,
you had that Gordon and Mia scene, which did not have any rallying. That was wild, that
scene. That was probably one of the better camera I could work up.
But this one is another one of all the ladies gathering.
And so Michelle comes over
and they're gonna have skinny margaritas.
And Janice like, oh my God, I'm not like Dolly Parton.
I'm just pumping right now.
I've got a baby.
So it's so funny. He like lashes and then thrashes. It've got a baby. So it's so funny.
He like lashes and then thrashes.
It's like a baby thing.
So it's rough.
I'm a mom now.
So.
Have you ever heard of breastfeeding?
Yeah, it's like something I'm sort of doing right now.
So I'm a mom.
So Michelle, they're all hanging out
and Michelle's talking about how she has a new place
and Janet's asking about it and Michelle still,
turns out Michelle lives just like two blocks away
from her old place.
I closed the Chateau Marmont, which is most important.
I love how Janet's like,
Janet's like, oh, so you're still in the same neighborhood?
So you can walk to Chateau Marmont every day?
I'm like, I love the Chateau Marmont thing is like the priority. It's like, so you can walk to Chateau Marmont every day. I love the Chateau Marmont
thing is like the priority. It's like, so you can still find mother other directors
there, right?
People. I mean, I've never heard of anybody loving the Chateau Marmont this much. Have
you?
No, I'm also just impressed that she found a new place so close to it. I mean, that's
like really high value real estate over there.
Yeah. So she's going gonna still get to go there.
And so Brittany's coming and they're like,
oh my God, what's going on with Brittany?
Men, right?
And Michelle's like, yeah,
the men go through emotions of ups and downs.
Jesse is a roller coaster most of the time.
And Nia's like, yeah, I would say that applies
to all the men, they're all like that roller coasters.
Well, actually, I guess in my life,
the biggest roller coaster is the actual roller coaster
at Magic Mountain because Danny keeps taking me up
to Valencia to try to sell me on it up there.
I don't want to move up there.
I don't want to move to Magic Mountain.
So now Jackson and Jason are at Jack's bar
and they're gonna talk about being a dad.
And Jason's like, dude, a lot is new.
Janet already wants number two.
And I'm like, come on, bro.
Jack's like, dude, you've had a baby for like five minutes.
I mean, string her along for a while,
make her not feel pretty
and then start calling her an alcoholic
before you even consider that shit.
And then, yeah, they're like talking about the baby stuff and everything. And Jason's
like, Oh, so man, you've had a busy last few days, huh? And I said, Oh, man, the paparazzi
have been everywhere. I mean, there's no fairs. There's no cheating. There's no abuse, nothing
like that. I'm just like, I'm so triggered. And I'm so like, my fuse is like this big right now.
I was like, oh, I just have to go to AMPM.
All day long.
He probably actually is freaking out
because he doesn't have to go to AMPM
because there's no one to avoid in the house anymore.
Yeah.
So by the way, so fucking gross
that Brittany had to move out and Jack stayed there.
I just can't stress so fucking gross that Brittany had to move out and Jack stayed there.
I just can't stress enough how gross that is.
So now Janet and Jason, Janet, their house or whatever.
So Brittany comes over and she's like,
oh my God, Janet can do a shot finally.
Lord knows I need a shot.
She's like, how are you doing?
She said, I'm all right.
I've had this weird moment right now because today was so hard.
And she tells us a lot's happened between me and JX.
We were already having issues all summer, all summer long and stuff.
But like once the cameras stopped rolling, things just seemed to get worse and worse
and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse.
And then it got worse and then it got worse and it got worse and it got worse and it got
worse and it got worse. I and worse and worse and worse. And then it got worse and then it got worse and it got worse and it got worse and it got worse and it got worse.
I was like, okay, Brittany.
So about six weeks ago, I got separated from Jax
and I moved into an IRB and B with Cruz
because Jax would not leave the house.
I just feel like it shows how selfish it is.
The fact that I had to move out with Cruz
instead of him moving out,
especially being from Kentucky,
like man doesn't do that in Kentucky.
Man don't leave the house, man leave the house in Kentucky. Do men leave the house
generally in Kentucky? I like that that's a state thing like Kentucky where the men
have the decency to leave the house.
Flower is the man moving out.
You all
moving out.
You haul.
You haul.
So Janet's like, you guys are nicer than me because like I wouldn't have gone.
And she's like, well, it was like,
he wasn't gonna leave, so I had to leave.
I mean, it was just two talks to both situations,
especially for my son.
So then back to Jax, Jax is like,
I mean, I've been so in the dumps,
just like crying my eyes out.
You know, that's what kills me the most.
You know, Cruz, like all I think about is Cruz.
Like, is he cold?
Probably.
Does he have a roof over his head?
Do I really care?
Can he find parking?
How old is that kid?
I really don't know.
Why did I name him Cruz?
What's his face look like?
I just keep going up to random kids saying Cruz.
Cruz? Every one of them is saying no. I mean, it's just so triggering. I just keep going up to random kids saying Cruz, Cruz,
every one of them is sitting now. I mean, it's just so triggering.
Oh man.
All I can think about is Cruz and who's going to take care of him when I have
possession of him. So, uh, Jackson's like, yeah,
Brittany and I are on a break. Never said I would get married.
Then I never said I would get divorced and here we are said I would get divorced. And here we are separated.
It doesn't look good.
Let me hear, hold on.
Let me just like try to fake getting choked up.
Uh, uh, uh.
No, sorry, it didn't work.
Didn't work this time.
Catch me tomorrow.
And this is how Jax talks about Brittany behind her back.
You can tell because Jason's next sentence.
He goes, I mean, like you said, nothing happened.
Oh, I thought, I didn, like you said, nothing happened.
Oh, I thought, I didn't remember the line being like this. So nevermind, strike what I just said.
I thought Jason said, I thought he said,
so it's not like you caught her in bed having a threesome,
which I was like, oh my God, that's so Jax,
because remember when he was like,
oh yeah, I caught her in bed having a,
who did he say she was having sex with?
Kristen?
Kristen was going down on her?
Didn't he say that one year
that Kristen was going down on her and he caught it?
But nevermind, Jason says,
she didn't catch you in bed having a threesome
and you didn't catch her in bed having a threesome.
And that's the worst thing to Jason.
It's not just an affair, it's a freaky affair
because he only likes couch sex.
So it's like, oh my God, at least it wasn't two people
that she was sleeping with at the same time.
So back to Jada's house, and he was like,
so I was gonna ask if there's something like
the straw that broke the camel's back,
or is it just like building up in your tart of it?
I'm like, those are the same things, but that's okay.
So Brunio's like-
That's literally what that means.
Was it like, there was like one instance where just like you said, I can't take it anymore.
Or is it more just like there was a stride that broke the camel's back?
And Brittany's like, well, he was like going out to the bar and stuff and coming home and
having horrible hangovers. I would make him mean as a fucking snake.
And snakes, which is so funny
because that's always what he's accusing her of, you know?
So of course that's what he does,
opens a bar and then stays out with fans all night
getting shit faced.
And I'm sure totally keeping his dick
in his pants the whole time too.
So our snakes, by the way,
is this why snakes have such a bad reputation?
They're all just hung over.
They're hung over.
He is so hung over.
He's as mean as a snake.
So next morning I'm asleep and Cruz and I are in my bed and here comes Jax barreling
in and he comes in like, why is the Luke texting me right now asking if I need someone to talk
to because of what I'm going through?
And finally after he's been screaming to me for hours and hours and And he was like, and with Cruz.
So had you finally just had so much
that your head was gonna explode
or was it more like a straw
that broke the camel's back situation?
I'm sorry, no, yeah, I failed to see the difference
between the two of those situations.
Uh-huh, so I packed my bags
and we got the hell out of that house. The second I got in
that Uber, it said, do you prefer your ride to be conversational or quiet? And I said,
I prefer to be told I am pretty. And the second I got in that Uber, he said, you look pretty
today ma'am. And I started crying.
The Uber that I got into said, do you prefer a conversation quiet or do you prefer it not
talking?
So Brittany's like, well, there have been a lot of things I've taken Jax back for.
I've been traded on, I've been disrespected, I've been humiliated, I've been through a
lot of pain in this relationship and it has been very public.
The pain I've had to deal with is just with us,
and I just can't deal with it anymore.
And you know, I think there have been ups and downs
to Jack's personality.
It's all really hard on me, and he needs to go to therapy.
Yeah, that's, first of all, he's never gonna go to therapy,
or true therapy, but second of all,
good for you for finally acknowledging this,
that like, that you have been humiliated and disrespected
by this man and it's time to leave.
Yeah.
Jax, therapy wouldn't help somebody like Jax.
He's beyond, he doesn't think he needs it.
He doesn't think he needs it.
He's one of those who would just go and use,
learn how to use words as a weapon, you know?
Which is kind of, therapeutic words as a weapon.
Which he's already kind of doing.
I mean, look at him.
He's like, I'm just so triggered.
Like, oh, okay, Jax.
So Jax and Jason, Jax is like, yep, yep,
yeah, I need to go to therapy, totally gonna do that.
Or maybe like go on a doctor
and go on an antidepressant or something,
just something to take the edge off.
It's just a little something.
I think you need to stop doing things that put the edge on.
Cokie. OK, Cokie Roberts.
First of all, and second of all, antidepressants
aren't there to take the edge off.
It's not a fucking glass of Chablis weirdo.
Glass of Chablis.
So Jason's like, well, just do something and try to repair the marriage, bro.
Like if that's what you want.
It's like, yeah, I just I really think I pushed pushed her over the edge and if I don't do anything,
it's going to continue and I have to get help. I have to get help and then not use it. So,
Jax is like, the thing is I just want to be happy. I want her to be happy. I didn't know. I don't
know. Maybe I'm not cut out for this. I don't know. Oh man. I don't know. I should probably just have
to sit down a conversation with Brittany and see where she is. And, but I don't know. I should probably just have to sit down and conversation Brittany and see where she is.
But I can't continue arguing all the time
with drunky over there, you know what I'm saying, everyone?
She's wasted right now, I bet.
It's miserable not only for me, but for her
and more importantly, our son, whatever his name is.
I mean, it's confusing for me, you know?
Just like life is probably confusing for Brittany
because she's always so drunk.
So yeah, I'm gonna work on myself.
Gonna work on myself. So then Michelle's talking about her going through
the mediator and stuff for her divorce and Brittany is like, I'm at a tipping point.
And by the way, I'm just not all the way there yet though, right? Because like maybe, you
know, I don't want to let my family down. You know, mama, it was so hard talking to
my mom, mama, me mom, papa, papa, poochy, douche, everybody's liking Jax in the first place,
and then they finally kinda like him,
and now I'm gonna have to disappoint him.
No, just listen, everybody loves to hear, you're right.
Just go home and say, hey guys, you were correct.
Everybody would be so happy if Brittany showed up
in Kentucky with that kid, Jax Free.
Oh, they'd be thrilled.
So now the big scene, Brittany and Jax's free. Oh, that'd be thrilled. So now the big scene, Brittany and Jack's house. So Brittany,
well, actually this is not the big scene. This is the, before the big scene.
So Brittany is at the house and she's telling him Cruz is crying and she's like,
Hey, don't cry. Auntie Kristen and uncle Zach are coming over.
Why do you think the kid's crying?
My God, if a baby could run fast enough, you know.
There could be nothing more terrifying
than Zach and Kristen showing up.
Hi, baby.
How are you, baby?
Seriously, baby?
Seriously, I wanna take you, baby.
I just tried to hug your baby
and it started crying like a little petsy-wetsy.
All right, I'm stretching it now. I'm stretching it. Okay, anyway, we just came to support you. You didn't do anything wrong. Fuck that guy.
And she's like, Yeah, I mean, it's just been real difficult. Let's go outside. It just feels weird.
And so Kristen's like, Yeah, it does feel weird being here. I mean, like, I mean, for you must
even feel weirder, you know, because like, even when I opened the door, I was like, Oh, for you, it must even feel weirder, you know? Because even when I opened the door, I was like,
oh my God, it's in Jax's house right now,
but he's not there.
So they're there with it.
They're there doing stuff while he's gone.
So she, oh, so when she said I've been in this Airbnb,
it didn't mean like this is an Airbnb.
It meant like, oh, I've got this Airbnb.
I think- I was like, wait.
I think that the, yeah,
cause I think that's what Kristen's saying.
She's saying this house feels so different.
Yeah, that makes sense. So exactly. I think, now I'm questioning's what Kristen's saying. She's saying this house feels so different. Yeah, that makes sense.
So exactly.
Now I'm questioning everything that I've just seen.
But just remember this show,
nobody knew if it was gonna be a success
and they are filming it with $5.
So they were probably like,
guys, we're bringing the cameras up,
which means we're all shooting at Britney's today.
Okay.
We're gonna use our reunion budget to film this episode.
Okay. Yeah.
Commercials, here comes one right now. to use our reunion budget to film this episode. Okay. Yeah.
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So Zach is like, well honestly, Brittany, the fact that you lasted this long,
what was this bad? I mean, we've seen it be bad for quite some time. I mean,
the amount of shit that we've talked behind your back, it's like honestly hilarious.
And it's a testament to your character of trying to work on stuff but now you can laugh with us instead of us laughing at you. So
welcome, welcome.
Yeah, and Christian's like, yeah, Jax thinks that she's gonna come crawling back and begging
and he's in for a rude awakening.
You know, he would not be where he is right now had you not wanted to work on the relationship
and be like, okay, let's work on us.
He would not have anything that he has and that's only because of you.
And she's saying, yeah, you know, I mean, he's got like narcissism because I got my
own friends and my own family here in LA.
And he said, I don't got nobody without him and no friends.
And I got my own money. I can take care of my own family here in LA. And he said, I don't got nobody without him and no friends. And I got my own money.
I can take care of my own damn self.
And like, I have enough control of my life
to take care of myself.
And that's that.
And she tells us that after Vanderpump Rules was over,
that she stepped it up and she was doing a lot
of influencer gigs and stuff like that.
And so his ego was all hurt
that she was making all the money.
And it hurt, you know, it made him butthurt.
Now, did it make him butthurt enough to go out and work?
No.
No.
No.
He just wanted to take all the money that she was making
and still treat her like crap.
So he talked about how it hurt his manhood.
And it was great. It was actually great to hear.
I never really thought about, I don't think about bringing that much,
but like, uh, to hear that she actually did kind of like figure out how to get
money coming back in that household. It was actually pretty impressive. I mean,
I just, I feel like I kind of dismissed everything she was doing over the past
few years, like, Oh, whatever's Jackson, Brittany, but sort of in this light,
I was like, Oh, you know what? That's actually pretty cool that she did that.
So then they go back inside again.
They've like changed.
They've gone inside, outside, inside, outside.
They're back inside.
And she's like, All right.
Well, enough talking about my drama.
OK, so yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I hear you have a full time boyfriend now.
And he's like, I do. I do.
It's been like six months.
And like, what's crazy is he's already been disinvited
to three events by Janet.
It's amazing.
We knew we were meant to be together
because the minute he saw me, he came up,
took my head off and threw it at angry mushrooms
and killed them.
His name is Super Mario.
He's the sweetest guy I've ever known in my life.
So then Zach tells a story about how he and Kristen
went to Miami because she got some kind of like
sculpting thing done.
It wasn't lipo, but it was like lipo adjacent.
And he was in the room with her.
And as they were like removing the fat,
it like squirted out of her and
onto his arm. So then to sad news, we find out that Kristin finally found out that she was pregnant
and lost the baby, which is so sad. That's so sad. Yeah, it really is sad. And so she's, you know, they all hug
and they talk about how they're there for each other.
And then now it's time for the big scene.
Brittany and Jax, face off.
So now they have to have the talk.
So he's like, where are you?
She's like, I'm up there.
You coming down here?
No.
Would you want me to come up there then?
Yeah.
You controlling fuck, okay?
She's packing shit because she doesn't get to live
in this house anymore.
So she's there to pick stuff up, you piece of shit.
Yeah, you can walk up the stairs.
Yeah.
So he goes up there and he's like, so what's the plan?
She goes, well, you're not gonna get away
with how you treated me all these years acting all calm.
Cool, calm, collected.
You're just not. And he was like, well,
I think, I think the space that we have is good. You know, I thought about it.
I talked with friends about it. Fuck some girls to really process my emotions.
And you know, Oh, Oh, I have a therapy appointment on the 26th. Oh,
so you finally made an appointment. He's like, yeah. When? Yes.
I did it yesterday. Oh, so you made a therapy appointment the day before cameras come up.
Got it.
I did it because yesterday was the time to do it.
Okay.
Like, yeah, Jackson's been saying he's going to therapy for years now, but the
day before we pick up cameras, he all of a sudden has an appointment to go see
a doctor.
This is all the front.
Okay.
This is what he wants people to see because he's actually, he wants people to
think he's actually going he wants people to think
he's actually gonna do these things, but guess what?
I'll bet you money he ain't gonna do it.
And then it just cuts him.
It just cuts to Jack's and his confessional.
He goes, I did make an appointment, but I didn't go.
I ain't go.
I was like, yeah, no, it wasn't being filmed.
So what's the point, you know?
And the producer was like, well, were you afraid to go?
He goes, yeah.
And it's like really far.
It's in Malibu.
So she's like, but if you make that appointment
a month and a half ago or two months ago.
The only place you can find therapy
in all of Los Angeles is fucking Malibu.
Nope, they wouldn't have it in the like
a well populated city portion of Los Angeles. Not where all the actors live. Nope, only in Malibu. Nope, they wouldn't have it in the like well populated city portion of Los Angeles, not where all the actors live.
Nope, only in Malibu.
Oh, I think you're mistaken, Ronnie.
He meant that he booked an appointment for therapy
with Jesse's dog.
Distance.
Malibu.
Hi, meet my dog, Distance.
No, I have a therapy appointment with Malibu.
Okay, so he's like, well, I mean, if have a therapy appointment with Malibu. Okay, so Brittany's like,
Well, I mean, if you made an appointment a month and a half ago, maybe, maybe you'll
love me.
I think Brittany, here's my thing.
I don't think that it's necessarily fake what Brittany's doing necessarily, but I do think
that she thinks she's making this big stand and now Jax is gonna, she's gonna do, make
this big move and so Jax is gonna suddenly improve.
No, you married a horrible human being.
He's not gonna ever not be a horrible human being.
Like, that's just it.
What are you gonna do?
Exactly, and she's like, okay, do you want me back?
Are you gonna sit there and let me go?
Because I will go, which already there being like,
like I want you to fight for me to stay,
does make me alarmed that she's actually not, doesn't actually want to leave.
She does. She's not gonna say she does not actually want to leave.
And what was sad and funny only in the way,
because we've watched this couple for so many years and it's like,
they're so pathetically nonchanging is that he started out the scene where she
said, well, I'll bet you really feel something now. And he's like, I've loved it.
It's been great.
I think we needed the break.
I've been loving it.
He's like, I do want you back, okay?
I do want you back, but you left me
and that was hard for me at the time.
But like, it's actually been nice.
Like, don't you agree this has been nice?
He goes, I think it's been amazing.
But do you not realize why I decided to leave you? These are things that I need you to address. You took away my safe space.
You took away all of that from me. I had to uproot myself in my child." And he's like,
well, you didn't have to. She's like, I did have to. He goes, well, it wasn't that bad.
I mean, there was arguing, of course. And maybe I gassed that you here and there made
people think that you're a raging alcoholic, couldn't control your liquor, maybe a bad mom. I don't know,
maybe unfit to raise a child in any sort of situation. But I think, you know,
you know, it could have worked out, could have worked out. It's like, you know,
I mean, we could have worked it out at least to like, you know,
where we don't talk like that while we raise our child. Oh, okay. She's like,
so you want me to live in the same house as someone who disrespect me and
been horrible to me and put me in a toxic living situation for
so long and just live in separate bedrooms like
everything's okay. And he's like,
sounds good to me. Someone's gonna take care of this kid.
Yeah, this guy's such a fucking pig. It's just sad seeing her
want something different when it's just not going to
happen. So she's like, yeah. And you screamed to me and you said horrible things to
me and you said, I have no friends because I never said that.
I mean, you've got all those fucking teenage pregnancy, Kentucky people.
You know, a sad moment was when she goes, why haven't you done anything?
Why haven't you changed?
I'm like, well, Brittany, that's, that's the problem is that Jackson's not going to
change.
So, um, she's like, you know, as soon as these cameras drop, you're going to rage
text me a million messages and talk horrible to me.
You're going to raise the shit out of me.
Be real, be real.
I don't know how to, how to talk to you anymore.
It sucks.
I feel fricking weird being in my own bedroom.
And he's like, we talk to each other every day. She says. I feel freaking weird being in my own bedroom.
And he's like, we talk to each other every day. She goes, yeah, we talk about cruise every day. We don't talk about other things. And he's like, uh, that's what space is supposed to be, Brittany.
Okay. You're doing space wrong. Yeah, but that's what I'm home. I'm not saying I want to talk to
you more. I don't. Okay. And he's like, I'm just, he tells us, I'm just sitting here waving the white flag saying,
I surrender, which actually the year's 100%
not what's happening, but we still clearly
can't be in the same room together without arguing.
So I don't know what else to do to show you
I'm trying here, except make more perfunctory appointments
for therapy that I'm never gonna go to.
I mean, what else do I have to do?
Yeah, so she's like, he's like, listen, there's no reason we can't,
look, I know we need our space, but we can coexist.
And she's like, oh yeah, well, you can't go to TMZ
and say, Brittany moved back in.
He's like, I never said that.
She's like, oh really?
Here it is.
And it cuts to Jacks on TMZ.
They're like, so what's going on with Brittany?
Does she still hate you?
He's like, ask her, she's living in the house right now.
We're totally back together. Just banged her. Brittany, what? They're like, so what's going on with Brittany? Does she still hate you? He's like, ask her, she's living in the house right now.
We're totally back together.
Just banged her.
Brittany, what?
My wife who I love and who loves me?
Yeah, she came begging for me.
It's just such a fucking liar, this guy.
Yeah, she's like, you know,
it made people think that I'm lying.
And she says, you know, out of all the times
Jax has embarrassed me publicly,
you would think he would grow out of that.
And as the mother of his child,
then he still goes on national TV and blatantly lies.
Like when he, like he goes in House of Villains
and says, I had a stroke,
when he knew it was already ruled out,
but I hit him.
Who does that?
Who goes and lies for attention?
He does.
That shit was funny though.
He went on House of Villains
and then we see a clip of him doing it.
He's like, yeah, my wife just had a stroke.
I'm like, what?
Fucking hell.
It's wild.
So yeah, but look, here's the thing.
I'm so glad Brittany's out of this.
Brittany, at the end of the day,
she is kind of a sweet girl.
Even despite all of her faults, she's still Brittany. It's like she is kind of a sweet girl. You know, even despite all of her faults,
she's still Britney.
It's like she's still like a sweet girl.
Her biggest fault is Jack's.
Her biggest fault is marrying Jack's.
She's, she seeked this guy out, went to Vegas, found him.
It's like, here's your prize.
You know what I mean?
Congrats.
But that was so long ago.
Like I just want to see her do better.
I don't want to see her really get away from this guy.
And I just don't believe she's doing it. I don't believe it.
It makes it sad.
I mean, she's, I hope she,
I hope she does stay like forge a new life for herself because she's like,
you know, saying how she feels so much stronger now and like she knows her
worth and she knows that she doesn't deserve to be in a relationship like this.
And she's saying like, what was I thinking? Saying so long.
She goes, do you think I'm just going to think I'm just a deep bouncer from Airbnb to Airbnb?
Like what do you want?
And he's like, no, no.
He does the thing where he points to his head and goes, I don't know, something's wrong
up here.
And I agree.
I need help.
I need help.
I got a lot of demons and pent up aggression and I don't deal with it.
And it's all pent up inside.
And I take out my meanness on you.
And she's like, yeah, and that sucks right there that I had to move out for you to realize.
And by the way, no, he doesn't want you moving from Airbnb to Airbnb. He wants you to move to
Kentucky is what he wants you to do. He wants it to be so he doesn't have to take care of that kid
at all or even see him or even deal with him at all. He wants you to be completely gone in Kentucky
and he can be the deadbeat fucking loser we all know he is.
Like, why prolong it?
Yeah, he's like, oh man, it's just hard for me to ask for help.
The men in my life, we don't show our emotions.
We just bury that shit.
She's like, no, I bury my emotions.
Look at our marriage, okay?
You let emotions out in a very aggressive way.
Yeah, oh, it's just me.
That's just how I was raised with Ben.
No, it's not that you're broken.
You're a breaker.
You're off breaking other people, you fuck.
So she's like, okay, let's just not fight in front of Cruz, okay?
Are you going to pick him up from after school?
And then he gives us his big, it's been amazing.
It's been like an amazing nine years.
It really has.
You know, I have no regrets.
And I love Brittany, really do.
Love her, great.
Love my wife, great. She's great, she's great. You know, the only thing that has, you know, I have no regrets. And I love Brittany really do love her. Great. Love my wife. Great. Great. Great.
You know, the only thing that'll, uh, you know, uh, the only thing that's going to make our break
this time is that, you know, what are we going to do? I love her. Love her. Great girl. Great kid.
Bye. Okay. Bye. He says he has no regrets. You literally cheated on her. Like you,
you had sex with faith in front of the old lady.
She was caretaking. Like you have no regrets about that.
Like how do you say you have many things? Yeah.
There's some like maybe you regret the way you talk to her or you could have made
more of an effort. I mean, any, at least fake some regrets, dude.
So Brittany is like, you know, he's put me through a lot,
but I wouldn't have Cruz if I got rid of him a long time ago. So Brittany's like, you know, he's put me through a lot, but I wouldn't have
Cruz if I got rid of him a long time ago. So, you know, I just think now that I've
Cruz and I've woken up from this situation, I just feel like for his sake, my mental health,
I just can't be here anymore. I just can't. And then we see a flashback of their relationship.
And I guess we're supposed to cry. But I was just like, okay, like it was basically
like a parade of red flags to me.
Yeah.
I mean, it was just like watching a parade of red flags.
And I was like, and now we're supposed to believe
that you just woke up and realized this was wrong.
Get the fuck out of here with that.
And that scene where they showed,
remember the place on PCH that he proposed at,
and then he told everyone there were dolphins jumping in the background and it
was in front of the freeway.
If you remember, of course that was at, um, Oh,
fish place.
Yeah.
Neptune, Neptune's net.
Yeah.
Neptune's net.
One of, yeah.
Yeah.
So, uh, Arby's like, congrats.
No offense.
Neptune's net.
We'd love you. So that's wonderful. Uh,by's, like congrats. No offense, Junsnet, we love you.
So-
That's wonderful.
That's it, Jax is a piece of shit, Brittany.
Please be strong and do literally anything else, please.
I mean, this man has you living in an Airbnb with your son.
Please do better, please.
I know Jax won't, but you can.
Well, that was a great first season,
a shockingly great first season of The Valley.
My expectations were so low.
They were in the basement.
I was not looking forward to even touching the show.
And I wound up being one of the best shows of the year.
So it really was. Go figure.
It was great. It was great from beginning to end.
Great job, Bravo.
And I don't know, maybe they'll throw together a reunion at some point.
They really should.
It's wild.
But in the meantime, thanks everyone for listening.
We're now all caught up and we are going to dive back into current recaps tomorrow.
We'll catch you on the next one, everyone.
Bye.
Bye.
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